


Strawberry and Blueberry Jam

by UnderZeWeather



Series: AU Jam [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Airbender Shiro (Voltron), Aliens anatomy, Altean Lance (Voltron), Alternate Universe - Avatar & Benders Setting, Anal, Android AU, Android Keith (Voltron), Android Lance (Voltron), Androids, Angst, BAMF Lance (Voltron), Biker Keith, Cat AU, Delinquent Keith (Voltron), Earthbender Pidge | Katie Holt, Elf Keith (Voltron), Everyone is a cat, Exhibitionism, Fantasy, Firebender Keith (Voltron), Fluff, Galra Keith (Voltron), Galra Shiro (Voltron), Highschool AU, Human Experimentation, M/M, Masochist Lance, Mutants, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phantom of the Opera AU, Royal Weddings, Smut, Supernatural Elements, Temporary Character Death, Video Game Mechanics, Waterbender Lance (Voltron), Witch AU, alien stuff, camboy, demon keith, fire witch keith, human Lance, incubus, monster Keith, monsters and manna, nerdy lance, pastor Lance, selkie lance, shop au, size queen, zoomies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 278
Words: 626,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23476438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderZeWeather/pseuds/UnderZeWeather
Summary: A series of one shots and AUs involving Keith and Lance. Ratings range from G-ETags will be added as more chapters go up.-----278) Highschool-----Finished AUsAlien, Incubus, Camboys, Phantom of the Opera, Monster, Royal, Android, HolyHell, Witch, Monsters and Manna, Modern fantasy
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: AU Jam [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893274
Comments: 41286
Kudos: 1154





	1. Phantom (Alien AU I)

**Author's Note:**

> First up is a continuation of my other story; The star gazer and the xenobiologist. I tried to sum it up a little in the first few paragraphs and you don't really need to read that one to get this, but you can if you like. Any ideas you wanna share are most welcome. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

There were many things Lance knew about his boyfriend and many things he didn’t. This wasn't through lack of trying, oh no. Lance did his best, but it was a little hard to tell what your boyfriend was thinking or how he was going to react when he was a literal alien from another planet who was studying to be a xenobiologist. In other words, Keith was on earth and disguised as a human to see if the Galra could live with humans.

To help alleviate some of his confusion, Lance had taken to making notes about Keith. It was a weird list for sure, but it was important to him. It helped him keep everything together in his mind;

_His watch changes his disguise_   
_Hates calamari (called an octopus a dick monster)_   
_Covered in a fine purple fuzz, like velvet, but has long hair on his head and fluffy ears_   
_Eats oranges with the skin on_   
_Species are hermaphrodites until they get knocked up then they start to look more like a woman with curves and breasts apparently (considers any humans with boobs a mother and therefore already has a partner. How did he survive learning how human puberty works?)_   
_He has two tentacle dicks that flail about on their own (he doesn’t even need to move his hips to thrust into me wtf?)_   
_His cum is blue, tastes like a lemon tart, and is flammable (rip Iverson’s new chair)_

It wasn’t a good list, but it was a true list. If anyone found the list they wouldn’t know he was talking about Keith, but Keith would probably go bright red and eat it to hide any evidence that he was an alien.

Apart from that things were going pretty well for them. Though Lance did wonder if they were having more sex than usual. Every night that week before they had gone to bed he’d been cornered by Keith or lightly pinned against the mattress. Keith wasn’t very pushy about it, but he did look up at him with pleading eyes. Which Lance always caved into.

That weekend Pidge ended up jabbing Lance and Keith in the stomach at breakfast. “Shut the fuck up!” She hissed. “Just shut the fuck up! I am fine with you two screwing a few times a week but holy shit every night? My room is next to yours! I hear your fucking bed bouncing!”

Lance went bright red as he clutched his stomach. “Sorry Pidge…”

“Y-yeah…” Whimpered Keith. He looked like he was in a lot more pain than Lance was. “E-excuse me…” He quickly ran off to the bathroom. 

Lance glared at her and made Pidge apologies when they next saw Keith. Keith said it was fine and he didn’t care, but something seemed off about him. Lance just couldn’t put his finger on it. So he just let it go. He would probably tell him if there was something wrong with him without too much coaxing.

***

Later that night after another bout of Keith initiated sex, Lance was happily spooning his lover. He happily squeezed Keith and listened to his alien boyfriend purr. “You think Pidge is doing to get mad at us?” He asked.

Keith shrugged. “We were pretty quiet tonight. I think we’ll be okay.”

“If you’re sure.” He kissed along Keith’s neck and smiled when he heard Keith making pleased sounds. “Wanna go out and do something tomorrow? Like, go for a walk? There’s a nice cafe we can go to.”

Keith hummed a little and ran his fingers over Lance’s hands. “That’ll be nice. I like going to human cafes.”

“That’s good.” He kissed along Keith’s shoulder while gently squeezing around Keith’s stomach. He was surprisingly soft and a little pudgy. Which was odd. As far as he knew, Keith had done his best to try and eat a healthy galra diet. He’d also exercised with Shiro everyday to burn off any extra fat that might occur from the gummy worms he was addicted to. “Getting a little pudgy there.”

“Pudgy?”

“Yeah. Means you’re putting on a little weight. Nothing to worry about.”

“... Are you saying I’m getting fat?” Asked Keith.

Lance felt like he had stepped on a landmine. “Um… I wouldn’t say you are… You’re just getting a little soft around the middle. It isn’t bad, I swear. Really. Like, it’s normal for you to put on some weight while you’re on earth, right? You’ve mentioned the food here is different.”

“Yeah… I’ve kind of noticed it too.” Muttered Keith. “I’m getting fat…”

“Just cut back on the gummy worms and you will be fine.”

“... Fine. My pants are getting tight.”

“Your alien emo ass only wears skinny jeans anyway. Gain any weight and you’re fucked… But having a little meat on your butt is kind of nice.” He reached around and lightly squeezed Keith’s butt. 

His boyfriend hummed a little in thought. “But it’s fat, not muscle?”

“You know what I mean. A soft booty can be nice to squeeze every once in a while.”

“Whatever. I’ll talk to Shiro about it tomorrow.” He snuggled up close to Lance and fell asleep. That was the end of that conversation for the moment. Not that Lance minded. He was tired and wanted to sleep too.

***

Over the next few weeks something strange was happening to Keith’s body. He was starting to get fatter no matter what he was doing. He was also complaining that his hips were sore. He’d started to wear sweatpants and larger shirts. Lance also noticed a few more intimate things that the others probably wouldn’t have noticed about Keith… Like the fact his chest was starting to get a little bigger and softer. His features were starting to get a little rounder too. More feminine.

Which really started to scare Lance. He had said that his species only started to gain femanine qualities if they got pregnant. Never of them used condoms when having sex since they were different species and Keith had said he was on a contraceptive so he couldn’t get pregnant no matter how much sex they had.

However, Lance’s paranoia was getting to him and he ended up buying a pregnancy test. He got some judgmental looks from the woman at the pharmacist, but he didn’t care. He needed to know.

When Keith came back from class he handed it to Keith. “Here…”

The alien took the box from him and gave it a confused look. “An earth pregnancy test?”

“Yes.”

“... I can’t get pregnant.” Said Keith. “Remember? The contraceptive I’m on fried my egg sacks. Even if I could ovulate I wouldn’t even be able to carry anything to term. A few days at most and I wouldn’t even know I was pregnant in the first place.”

“Just pee on the stick.” Said Lance. “Just for my own peace of mind.”

“... Fine.” Keith took the box and walked to the bathroom a few minutes later Keith came back with it and handed it over to Lance. “There. Done.”

Lance quickly looked at it and quickly read over what the lines on the test meant. Apparently one horizontal line in the large box and a vertical line in the small box meant they weren’t pregnant. A cross in the large box and a horizontal line in the small box mean pregnant…. Keith’s test came back with a cross in both boxes. 

“Umm… The fuck is this?”

Keith shrugged. “Did you think a human pregnancy test would work on an alien?”

“... Fair, but come on Keith, look at yourself.” He pulled Keith over to the mirror and lifted his shirt. Keith’s abs weren’t amazingly defined, but they were visible before. Now, not so much. You’re not eating anything that would make you fat, and you’ve doubled your exercise routine with Shiro. Also, your ass has gotten bigger and your pecs aren’t firm anymore. They are kind of soft.” To emphasize this he lightly squeezed Keith’s chest.

Hearing that all laid out in front of him seemed to really hit hard for Keith. He visibly paled and whimpered. “But I can’t be… I’m not… I… Shit, if I’m knocked up… Boys don’t get pregnant! Everyone’s going to freak out!”

“Not necessarily.” Said Lance quickly. “We um… We could say you’re transgander? Everyone would be cool with that. How do Galra pregnancies work?”

Keith frowned and put his hands over his stomach. “I um… W-when a Galra gets pregnant we usually have anywhere between four to five growing in our womb… About halfway through the pregnancy they are developed enough to start eating each other and-”

“They what?!”

Keith shrugged. “Only enough resources for one galra to be born. Twins are practically unheard of.”

“Wow…”

“Yeah… I-I should have a Galra pregnancy test in my stuff.” Keith quickly went through his stuff and grabbed something before rushing to the bathroom again. 

Lance sat on this bed and tentatively waited for Keith to come back. After what felt like forever Keith came back and he looked shell shocked. “I… think I’m pregnant…”

***

The two of them didn’t really know what to do now. Keith seemed to be really spaced out and Lance didn’t know if he was ready to be a father. But he would step up to the plate and take care of their baby if that’s what Keith wanted… Maybe Keith would want an abortion? Could Keith even get one when he was on earth? Did Galra even consider these things?

“Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“... I’m sorry.”

“Why? It takes two people to make a baby Keith.” Said Lance. “We’ll figure something out… Do you need to call your professor or something?”

“I should… Fuck, I’m sorry...”

“It’s not your fault.” Reassured Lance. “Look, do you want to keep it?”

“Kind of… I mean, it’s ours but…”

“But?”

“... I’m not a normal Galra to begin with. I’m a runt. A half Galra… Our baby might not even look Galra and if they don’t look Galra… No one on my planet will accept them… And if they don’t look human that will be even worse if they stay on earth.”

“Oh…” Lance held Keith’s hand and gently squeezed. “I’m sorry… If you want to, you can abort it?”

“I guess…” Keith sighed and looked through his bedside table for a bag of candy. He sighed and started munching on it. It seemed like he was going to stress eat his way through his. “... You want one?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Lance grabbed one of the candies but paused before he ate it. It was red liquorice covered in yogurt. “... Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“How long have you been eating these things?”

“A few months. Romelle gave one to me. Why?”

“Because you’re lactose intolerant.”

Keith looked very confused. “But It’s not milk or ice cream?”

“Yogurt is made from milk.”

“... Oh.”

“You can still eat the liquorice just not the yogurt casing.”

Keith sighed and put the candy away. “Perfect. I’ve been making myself sick for the past few months because I’m stupid…”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re not stupid. You’re an alien, remember? You don’t know everything about Earth food.” He gently squeezed Keith’s hand. 

Keith just sighed and nodded while resting his hand on his stomach. “... So since everyone but you thinks I’m human… I guess I should come out and say I’m trandgender…”

“Probably for the best... When do you want to do it?”

“... A few weeks.” Said Keith quietly. “Just because the pregnancy test was positive doesn’t mean I’m going to stay pregnant. Realistically I might not stay pregnant for various reasons… Miscarriages and all that.”

“True… Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“So like, since Galra babies eat each other in the womb, if we had sex while you’re knocked up would I get my dick bitten?” Seconds later Lance was smacked in the face with a pillow.

***

A week went by and Keith didn’t seem to get any bigger. If anything he just seemed to get more confused. Still he seemed to be sticking to some kind of special Galra diet for pregnant Galra’s since he was eating a stupid amount of spinach and grapes. It was a little odd, but it was better than junk food.

Neither of them were really sure when they should reveal that he was knocked up. It wasn’t so bad, but Keith was wearing a lot of oversized sweaters and sweatpants. It was causing a few people in the dorm to raise an eyebrow.

The two of them decided it might be time to tell the rest of their friends that Keith was pregnant. But before they did, Keith wanted to do another pregnancy test just to make sure he really was knocked up and something weird wasn’t going on. Lance was fine with that, but while Keith was peeing on a stick, he was laying face down on his bed and working on his “The condom broke and I’m taking responsibility for this” speech.

When Keith came back he sat on the bed and stared at the pregnancy test. “... Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.” Keith went through his medical supplies and started to pull out a small device while he started scrolling through his comms pad.

“... What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure this out…” Keith pricked himself with something sharp and dropped a few drops of his blue blood into a strop of white paper. He shook it a few times. It changed colour and he looked at his comms pad. The more he read the more pissed off he seemed to get.

“... Keith?”

“I’m not pregnant.”

“... You’re not?”

“Nope.”

Lance let out a huge sigh of relief. Sure he would have stepped up if Keith really was pregnant, but he wasn’t. “Well… Why are you starting to look a little more female?”

Keith looked slightly embarrassed. “It’s nothing. Point is I’m not knocked up. That’s all.”

“But what’s wrong with you?”

“... It um… You know how I’m lactose intolerant and everything, right? Well I um… I got all bloated.” He muttered. “And… I kind of had a phantom pregnancy.”

“... Seriously?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. When Galra have a phantom pregnancy our bodies produce the hormones that start to physically change us, but after a few months our bodies realize that there is no baby in there and things go back to normal… Usually caused by increased endorphins and a positive physical attachment to someone…” He was bright red by the end of it.

Lance nodded a little as he processed this. “Okay, so the baby bump was you bloating because of your lactose intolerance?”

“Yeah…”

“And your other stuff was just your body being all pregnant because you love me?”

“Yes that…” Keith went even redder than before, if that was even possible.

Lance grinned and hugged him. “Aw, you love me so much you want to have my baby.”

Keith huffed and let himself be hugged. “I don’t love you that much.”

“Yes you do. You love me so much your body decided we should have a baby.”

Keith rolled his eyes and lightly punched his arm. “Shut up.”

“But you know… I think you did put on a bit of weight.” He reached down and squeezed Keith’s butt. “Bubble butt.” Seconds later Lance was getting repeatedly hit with a pillow.


	2. Predators (Incubus AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is a pretty damn dark horror AU. It's strongly inspired by "I Spit on Your Grave" (one of the most intense/graphic rape revenge movies of all time. If you watch it, watch the original not the remake). It's also heavily inspired by some interesting lore I happened to find when looking up Incubus. Some of it is pretty interesting and I decided to use some of the more obscure lore I read about them to make it a little different and a little more unique. Anyway, this au is a little darker than the stuff I usually write so you all get your own warnings specifically for this chapter... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> **WARNING;**  
>  Graphic depictions of sexual violence.  
> Implied rape/murder

Willow Falls was a hunting town. Lots of people from out of town came by and rented a cabin. It was kind of annoying, but Sendak was used to it. Though he did wish that there were a few cute girls that liked hunting. Sure some women came by, but they were usually with their husbands or had kids clinging to them. Gross. Not something he cared for.

It still annoyed Sendak to no end. He just wanted a hot piece of ass to mess around with for a few days. Instead he would just be sitting around his shop with Haxus, quietly bitching and whining about not getting any pussy this season.

As he lamented this he happened to see a car pulled over to the side of the road. The bonnet was up and someone was looking inside. He didn’t recognise the vehicle and assumed it was someone from out of town either passing through or going to one of the cabins. He sighed and pulled over behind them.

He got out and walked over to see if they needed help. “Hey, you okay there?” He asked.

The driver of the car looked up from the engine. A young man with shoulder length black hair, and the most emotionless, dead fish eyes Sendak had ever seen. It was creepy as fuck. The man just shrugged at him.

“Radiator’s empty. I need antifreeze.”

“... Right. I have some in my car. I’ll go get it…” As he walked back he happened to notice something move in the backseat. He took a moment to see a gorgeous pair of flawless tanned legs that went on for days. Said legs were attached to a beautiful body wrapped in an oversized hoodie. They were sleeping. It was kind of hard for Sendak to tell if they were male or female. Sure was pretty though.

“Don’t wake them.” Said the man. “... We’ve been traveling all night and they need the sleep.” They spoke with such affection for a man with dead eyes. It made Sendak want to puke. He got the antifreeze and handed it over to the man. The man just nodded and filled the tank. “Thank you.” He said quietly.

“Yeah… If you’re going to go through the town you’re best off coming to my store. Best supplies and it’s right next to a mechanic.”

The man stared up at him, unblinking. “Sure. Thanks.” The car door opened and the sleeping person yawned. The black haired man froze for a moment and quickly looked up at Sendak, forcing the antifreeze into his hands. “Okay thanks for everything. We’ll get going now. I’m sure you have other things to do now.”

Sendak was kind of taken aback by the man’s sudden outburst but quickly moved back. However, he did take one last chance to look at the tanned beauty in the back seat of the car. They had that hazy look on their face. Their eyes were the most astonishing shade of blue he had ever seen. They blinked a few times up at him and smiled innocently up at him. This person even had the audacity to wave at him with most of his hoodie covering their hand. They looked like an innocent child.

Sendak wanted to violate them.

Still he went back to his car and drove back into town. If that weird dead eyed freak wasn’t there he would have wrecked that bitche’s ass. They would probably scream and moan like a little whore they were when Sendak just pushed the tip in. He’d split the bitch in two and they’d love it.

Unfortunately he just had to live with his little fantasy. That beauty and the dead eyed man were probably just passing through Willow Falls. They didn’t look like they were going to be hunting any time soon.

He went back to his shop where Haxus was sipping a drink behind the counter. As the owner, Sendak should have been pissed, but he didn’t care. He was too sexually frustrated and pent up to really give a fuck. If that little whore happened to walk into his shop all wide eyed innocent, he’d slam them against the counter top and and fuck them with the bottle of jack he kept under the countertop.

Were his fantasies a little sick and twisted? Yes. But honestly, all real men had these kinds of thoughts. It was only natural to want to pin down and dominate a fine piece of ass like that, especially with said ass was sweet and pure looking. It was a man’s right to take, defile, and claim as their own. 

Haxus noticed something was up with his boss. “Something wrong?”

Sendak grunted. “Saw the nicest piece of ass today. Slut totally wanted me. Would have fucked her raw if she wasn’t with some weird guy with dead fish eyes. Guy was a fucking creep. I would have assumed the creep kidnapped them if they hadn’t woken up.”

When it came to sex and what they thought of women, the two men were on the same wave length. “Shame.” Said Haxus. “All the hot ones are just passing through.”

“Yeah.”

The sound of a car pulling made both of them look to the window. The guy with the dead fish eyes got out of the car. They talked to that beautiful person inside their car for a few seconds before they walked inside. They picked up a basket and quickly started collecting things. Sendak gestured to Haxus that this was the guy.

Haxus nodded and pretended to not give the dead eyed man more than a nod and a “Morning.” as he walked around. The dead eyed man quickly filled his basket with food and headed to the counter. The man mumbled something before he quickly went to the camping supplies and grabbed a few tarps.

“That all?” Asked Haxus.

The man shook his head and pointed to a sign behind his head. Their little grocery store did offer home delivery. “Do you deliver to cabins?”

Haxus raised an eyebrow and took out a book. “Sure. Just need a name, cabin number and payment method. We don’t take check.”

“Keith. Cabin seven. Cash.”

Haxus nodded and quickly jotted it down. “Keith. Cabin seven. Cash. Right?”

Keith nodded.

Haxus nodded a little and started to ring up the items Keith brought over. "How long are you staying?"

"A month."

The door to the grocery shop opened up again and that beautiful person walked in again with their bright blue eyes and innocent smile. Their eyes lit up when they saw Sendak and waved at him. Keith looked like they were going to jump out of their skin when they saw this person in the shop.

He quickly went over to them and whispered something into their ear. The tanned angel pouted a little and gestured to some of the candy by the counter. Keith sighed heavily and nodded quickly while pushing them back towards the car. They let Keith do it, but they looked over at Sendak longingly and kept eye contact with him for as long as possible. The little whore wanted him. The little whore wanted to get fucked by him so badly.

Keith quickly went back over to the counter and bought his items, along with a candy bar that they apparently wanted. “S-so do I just call in and tell you what I want?”

Haxus nodded. “Yep. Just do that and we’ll be over in twenty.”

Keith nodded and gathered his things. He quickly left the store and packed it into his car, and drove off. When they were gone, Haxus let out a long, slow, whistle. 

“Wow… Just wow…” He muttered. “That guys is really fucking creepy… But that other one, that one’s a real looker. Fucking fine piece of ass.”

“Bitch totally wants me. Couldn’t take their eyes off me.” Said Sendak. “Slut couldn’t even take their eyes off me. Bet they are just dying to be with a real man and not something that looks dead.”

Haxus nodded in agreement. “Yeah… You know, it wouldn’t be the first time some people go missing up in Willow Falls…”

A deadly smirk made its way onto Sendak’s face. “Yeah. Accidents happen all the time in hunting season. Not that unusual for a guy to go missing…”

Haxus nodded in agreement as he flipped through his book. “Yep. Good thing we know where they are staying. We should probably check on them soon and make sure they settled into their cabin okay.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

***

The two of them closed up their store a bit around midday and headed towards cabin seven. It was off the main road and along a dirt road. Haxus was going through his bag. They had zip ties, cloth and a few other simple things to make it all go smoother. This wasn’t the first time they had done this. A hot piece of ass was just begging for some fun. If the girl happened to get a little frisky and ended up suddenly moving and their neck got broken, well that was her damn fault wasn’t it?

Before they left their car they turned to each other and quickly did a quick round of scissors, paper, rock. Haxus won, which annoyed Sendak, but the man had won fair and square. They walked up to the cabin and both seemed to notice a disgusting smell in a box next to the cabin. They looked inside and saw roadkill. It looked like someone’s cat. It already had maggots crawling around in it. It was gross.

They ignored it and looked through the window. Keith was walking around the cabin while that beautifully tanned individual was sitting on a chair eating a candy bar. They were still as adorable as ever. Keith looked like they were talking to them. The tanned beauty looked bored and uninterested in whatever Keith was saying.

Sendak gestured for Haxus to head around the back. Haxus nodded and silently walked there. They had done this song and dance before. After one long minute Sendak knocked on the door of the cabin. There was some shuffling behind the door. As soon as it was unlocked Sendak shoved it open, knocking Keith down to the floor.

Keith stared up at Sendak with wide eyes, but his eyes were still dead. Keith quickly scrambled to his feet and tried to get back to the other room. Haxus had already kicked in the backdoor and had grabbed hold of the beautiful tanned person. His trusty hunting knife was already out and held up to their throat.

Before Keith could get over to them, Sendak grabbed hold of Keith and held his arms back. “NO!” Yelled Keith and he tried to pull himself free. “LET HIM GO! LANCE! LANCE! LANCE!”

Hearing Keith yelling out a man’s name gave both Sendak and Haxus a moment of pause. Haxus pulled off the tanned man’s hoodie, revealing that he was indeed a man. There was a very noticeable bulge going on in Lance’s white booty shorts.

Haxus and Sendak shared a look. They had a whole conversation in seconds. They were after a woman, not a man. Then again, this Lance guy was dressing like a whore anyway. He should have expected this sort of thing in the first place. They decided it didn’t really matter if Lance was a man or a woman. They were cute and they were going to end up fucking their ass anyway.

“It’s okay Keith.” Said Lance in a shaky voice, even though he seemed to be trembling in nervousness. “I’m okay… I’m not going to fight them so just relax. It will be okay.”

Keith slowly stopped struggling and eventually just hung his head in defeat. Sendak wasn’t going to take any chances and took a zip tie out of his pocket and quickly secured Keith’s wrists behind his back, making sure that the thin plastic dug into his skin.

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Said Sendak. “A good bitch that’s going to cooperate for once.” He gestured towards the bedroom. “Go on. You won.”

Keith looked up at Lance and squirmed a little in Sendak’s grasp. “Lance…”

“It’s okay Keith. Everything will be okay. Trust me.”

Haxus tightened his grip on Lance and practically dragged him up the narrow hallway and into the cabin’s bedroom, kicking it shut behind him. Seconds later the sound of furniture moving and shouting started flowing out of that room.

Sendak smirked and shoved Keith to the ground. With Keith unable to move and Haxus having a good time with Lance, he decided to look around the cabin. He might as well see what these two had on them while he waited for his turn.

He found a duffle back with some clothes and a journal. Who in this day and age had a journal? He looked through the first few pages and was surprised to see the first few entries seemed to be made in crayon. They weren’t even written words. They were drawings. Childish stick figures drawn in crayon. It kind of looked like one of the stick figures, one in red, was in some kind of hospital? It was hard to tell.

He flicked ahead a few pages to the first written entry. It was awful and full of spelling mistakes. Clearly done by a child, or someone with some mental problems.

_My cheast hurts alot. They are tacking kare of me. Butt I am sad. They now a spell that maks the pain go away. Butt they kan’t make the sad go away._

That handwriting was pretty terrible. Sendak almost would have made fun of it if it wasn’t so pathetic. Kids were fucking stupid. There were a few more entries like that. Sometimes they were in crayon, sometimes they were in pencil. A few times they were in pen, but the spelling never improved. The letters were always a little wonky and shaky.

_I cort a frog to day. I wanted to keep it butt they made me put it back. That made me mad so I didnt speek to them for the reast of the day. That shoowed them. They brot me some chokolate :D_

_Wen they get hungry they leeve me. It’s scary. I dont like being a lone. I’m scared they wont come back. If I do some thing bad will they leev me?_

_Im scared of them._

_I wanted to help them get food to day. They got angree. Said Im too little. That Im going too get in the way and well both go hungree. They are scarry wen they yell._

_Im finally big enoff to help them get food. I dug a reelly big hole and found a dead cat like they told me too. I dont now why I needed to get a dead cat. Im just happy too help Lance._

Sendak glanced over at Keith. The boy hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor since Sendak shoved him over. It seemed like Keith was mentally handicapped somehow. Did that mean Lance was his caregiver or something? Just looking at them Sendak would have assumed it was the other way around.

Then again they could both be fucked in the head and only just made it into the functioning category. “Hey.” He called over to Keith. “You retarded or something?” 

Keith stayed quiet, which annoyed Sendak. If Keith really was fucked in the head then he probably didn’t understand the situation he and Lance were in right now. Which meant he wouldn’t be able to get a reaction out of him. That was half the fun if there was a partner around. He wanted a reaction. Any reaction.

“That whore you’re with is moaning up a storm.” Said Sendak. “So what? You two travel from town to town and he whores himself out to make money for you two? Just fucks anyone they come across? They just go ahead and fuck everyone but you?”

That seemed to provoke a reaction. Keith tensed a little, but took a deep breath and relaxed again. It made Sendak grin. That was how he could get a reaction from Keith. The man obviously had a soft spot for Lance. Who was Sendak kidding? Keith obviously wanted to fuck Lance but the tanned man was totally out of his league. He was probably used to people having their way with Lance while he just pathetically stood back and let it happen. The pathetic bastard was completely whipped.

“Yeah, I bet he fucks everyone.” Said Sendak. “Everyone but you. You completely pathetic, useless shit. You’re like what? Two inches hard? No one would want you. No man or woman. Let alone a well seasoned whore. One look at you without your pants on and I bet he laughed at you. Bet he asked if your clit was swollen it’s so pathetically small.”

Keith tensed up again, but didn’t say anything. Sendak was clearly striking some nerve with the dead eyed man. But he wasn’t saying anything. He needed to push further. He needed to see some kind of emotion in Keith’s eyes. Some kind of despair or look of hopelessness. He couldn’t still have that look of nothing in his eyes after everything he’d said.

Sendak grabbed Keith by the hair and pulled his head back, smirking. “Still got nothing to say? Your whore of a boyfriend’s gonna get some real dick for once in their life and there isn’t shit you can do about it.”

Keith continued to look up at Sendak with the same emotionless eyes. “What’s your plan?” He finally asked. “You know we are here for a month, so you’re going to fuck Lance for an entire month before you decide you’re done with him and then you’re going to kill him? Cut him up and scatter him in the woods for the animals to eat? Are you going to do that to me too? Rape me and kill me?”

Sendak hated all the questions. He’d have preferred it if Keith just stared at him with those dead fish eyes and said nothing. He tightened his grip on Keith’s hair and slammed his face into the floor. “You talk too much. Just shut up and listen to that little slut getting real dick for once. Fucking creep.” Just for kicks he kicked Keith hard in the ribs.

Keith gasped and spluttered as the wind got knocked out of him. The only sounds that filled the cabin for the next few minutes were the sounds of Keith gasping along with the loud moaning and thumping coming from the bedroom.

As he waited he couldn’t help but think about what Keith had said. Yeah, by the end of this he’d probably have to end up killing Lance. The slut deserved it though. If the whore didn’t parade around like a tramp none of this would have happened.

“... I’m bored.” Muttered Keith.

Sendak was almost taken aback by that statement. This man. This dead eyed man. His partner was getting violated in the next room over with the guarantee that they were both going to die yet he was bored? Maybe that dead eyed look extended far beyond his eyes? Maybe he was some crazy, suicidal fuck that just didn’t care? Fucking amazing. His apathetic attitude pissed him off.

He kicked Keith in the stomach repeatedly. “Fucking piece of shit.” He growled. “You’re some kind of disgusting parasite that doesn’t give a fuck? Do you really not care about him? Disgusting.” The spat on his. “Got something to say for yourself? Come on bitch! Say something! Fucking say something!”

Keith coughed and sputtered slightly as they tried to regain their breath and find their voice. “D… d…”

Sandak growled and pulled Keith up to his knees by his hair. “What the fuck are you trying to say?”

They coughed a little more before looking back up at Sendak. For the first time since he saw Keith his eyes didn’t look dead. There was something there. Something almost akin to joyful. It was more disturbing than the dead fish look.

“D-don’t you think it’s a little too quiet?” Asked Keith. Sendak paused for a moment. Keith was right. The whole cabin was deathly silent. Not a moan or the creaking of furniture. Keith was grinning now. “You should have just let him sleep. I told you he needs his sleep. But you didn’t listen. You didn’t listen. You didn’t listen. You didn’t li-”

Sendak pushed Keith to the ground and quickly ran to the bedroom. “Haxus! Haxus what the he-” Sendak stopped in his tracks when he opened the bedroom door. Crouched over Haxus’s body was a monstrous creature with large bat-like wings. Its tail happily swung from side to side as this tanned skinned creature was happily bobbing up and down as the grotesque sounds of ripping and slurping filled the room. The room smelled strongly of copper.

Lance looked over at Sendak, showing off the crown of horns that circled their head. Their cold, blue eyes were icy and almost hateful. Blood ran down his chin and he pointed one bloodied claw at him.

“I’ll get to you in a minute.” Lance said calmly. “Wait your turn.”

There weren’t many things that scared Sendak, but this was one of those things. He turned to run, but before he could even take a step, Keith slammed into him as hard as he could, knocking Sendak over. He hit his head on a stupid vase table and was knocked out cold.

When Sendak came to again he was tied and placed on a tarp. He groaned a little as he tried to figure out where he was. He looked over to his right and saw Lance and Keith. The monster was gently touching the slight abrasions on Keith’s face with one hand while lightly touching his chest with the other.

“It’s okay.” Cooed Lance. “You did a really good job. I’m sorry you got hurt. He was really mean to you wasn’t he?”

Keith shook his head and pouted a little. “I’m okay… My ribs just hurt a little but I’m fine. Really.”

“No, don’t lie to me honey.” He cooed. “I know you’re hurting but I can make it better. You remember the magic spell don’t you? Close your eyes honey and take my hands.” Keith seemed reluctant but did what he was told. Lance held Keith’s hands and pressed his forehead against Keith’s. “Pain, pain, go away. We don’t want you here today. Pain, pain, go away… Do you feel better now?”

Keith nodded a little and stood up. He walked to the other side of the room and grabbed a shovel. “... I’m going to get back to digging those holes.”

“You’re a good boy Keith.” Cooed Lance. “Love you!”

Keith just grunted and walked out the back door. With Keith gone, Lance’s attention turned back to him. This demonic thing grinned at him and happily walked over to him, practically on his tip toes. He did a little spin before he straddled Sendak’s hips and looked down at him.

“So… You hurt my Keith.” They growled. “You hit him. You pulled his hair. Broke his ribs, which I had to mend. You implied you were going to violate and murder him. My Keith. He is mine. Not yours.” Their eyes flashed red as their rage quickly ramped up. “You are nothing but food. How dare food threaten my property? You think I’ll just let you walk away after what you did to him? Granted I wasn’t going to let you leave here alive anyway, but I am not going to fuck you before I kill you like I did with him!”

Lance reached over and violently yanked the body of Haxus over by the throat. His eyes were glazed over and his complexion was completely drained of blood. More than likely due to the gaping hole in his chest. Sendak was petrified. He tried to wriggle out of his binds, but Lance stayed steady. He dropped the body and gently pressed a bloodied finger against Sendak’s lips.

“Quit struggling. You’re so annoying.” Their tail wrapped around Sendak’s neck and slowly started to tighten. Sendak struggled to breathe. It was impossible. This thing was going to kill him. He was going to die. Spots began to appear in Sendak’s vision, but he still had enough sight to see Lance leaning forward as he whispered into his ear. “Never, fucking ever, try to fuck with an incubui’s food.” His tail suddenly tightened and Sendak’s neck snapped like a twig.

***

It took Keith the rest of the day to dig a hole large and deep enough to bury the bodies. When he was done he walked back inside to see Lance playing with the minced up pieces of Sendak’s lung with one hand while happily munching on his heart with the other.

Keith just nodded and wrapped Haxus’s body up in a tarp and dragged it out to the pit. When he went inside again, Lance was finished with Sendak’s body, so Keith also dragged them out to the pit and buried them until there was about three feet of soil that needed to fill it in completely. Keith retrieved the road kill out the front of the house, tossed it into the pit, and finished burying it.

He went back inside and everything became routine. The two of them would clean the house, bleach everything, scrub down surfaces, wash the bedsheets and finally wash themselves. Once they were done Lance cooked dinner for Keith and happily nuzzled his neck and kissed his forehead.

“I love you.” He said quietly.

“I know.” Said Keith.

“You did a really good job.”

“Thank you.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“Are you still in pain?” Asked Lance. “I can make the pain go away if you’re still hurt.”

“I’m okay.” Said Keith quietly. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Lance smiled and happily kissed his cheek again. “I’m always okay when I am with you. Let’s go to bed. We have a whole month to spend here before we have to leave again. Let’s make the most of it.”

“... Okay.”

“...” Lance gently turned Keith’s head so they were facing each other. “Keith. Don’t be like that. I love you. You know that right?” It didn’t matter how many times Lance told him that he loved him. He never meant it. Not in any meaningful way. Not in the way one might assume an Incubus would love a human.

Keith just smiled weakly at him and nodded. He was tired. So very tired of all this. “Yeah. I know. I love you too Lance.”


	3. Character intros (monsters and manna AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is a nice little one featuring the whole team playing monsters and manna. It's actually kind of based off how one of my friends was introduced to one of my DnD games. It was pretty funny. Also, the names were based off of the monster's and manna episode (I am like 90% Shiro just called his character Shiro) and I made up Keith's name because apparently Thunder is a popular name for his potential character's name? idk. His race and class were based off the notes in for the episode. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Pike - Lance  
> Thundar - Keith  
> Block - Hunk  
> Meklavar - Pidge  
> Valayun - Allura  
> Shiro - Shiro

Pike and his team had another successful day of adventuring. They had saved a village from stone golem and were now reaping the rewards. Block was off helping prepare a feast with the villagers, Meklavar had tracked down a lead on the Jewel of Jitan, Valayun was looking for a better bow for herself, and Shiro was… Well he was his usual pious, paladin self.

Which meant that Pike could sneak away like the ninja he was and take a dip in the hot springs. The whole reason Pike had wanted to go there in the first place was so they could go for a dip. But the golem and the village and the whole place getting cursed put a hold on that plan.

He sighed contently as he sunk down to his shoulders. It was so relaxing. Off in the distance he heard something. Said something was coming closer and it made Pike’s ears twitch. Before Pike could jump over and grab his weapons, a robed figure stumbled out of the tree lines. Said figure took two steps forwards before they collapsed into the hot spring, face down. He was kind of sinking.

“... Oh shit!” Pike quickly pulled the person out of the water and checked to see if he was breathing. Just for good measure he did a bit of CPR. When he was sure this guy wasn’t dead, Pike put his clothes back on. He then crouched next to his person and took off his hood.

This person looked like they might have been an elf but their ears were kind of short. So maybe a half-elf? He also seemed to be a ranger if his gear meant anything. Pike’s tail started to swish as he gently poked the man’s face.

The man’s eyes snapped open and he grabbed Pike, pinning him to the ground. “Whoa!” Yelped Pike. “Easy there elf boy! I just saved your life!”

“...” The man immediately collapsed on top of him and passed out. 

“... What the hell?” Pike ended up dragging the dead weight back to the village. Shiro was the first to spot him and helped Pike take the mystery man back to the inn they were staying at. Block saw them, since he was cooking at the inn, and ran over to see if he could help

“So they guy just walked out of the trees and almost drowned?” Questioned Block.

Pike nodded. “Yep. Pretty much. I have no idea where he came from. He’s kind of aggressive though…”

Block nodded and waved his staff over the half-elve’s body. After a few minutes he shrugged. “Well he isn’t poisoned, injured or cursed. He’s just exhausted. He needs a good night’s sleep and some good food when he wakes up.”

Pike narrowed his eyes at him. “That’s your solution to everything.”

“Food is life.”

Shiro shook his head and sighed. “Okay guys, we have a bit of a problem though… We have two rooms at this inn. One small room with two beds and a larger one two three beds. The elf deserves a bed and we can’t ask Meklavar or Valayun to give up their beds since they aren’t here.”

One quick round of scissor’s, paper, rock, later and Pike had lost his bed. Hell, he wasn’t even sleeping in a bed. He lost his damn cot. They took the man to the room and he was placed on Pike’s cot. Shiro then went to inform their other companions about the guy they found while Block went to gather things to make stamina potions.

Pike was left alone with the new guys and sighed loudly. This was annoying. He wanted his bed back. The man slowly stirred and finally woke up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“What the hell?” He muttered. “What happened?”

“You almost drowned, I saved you and you tried to kill me.” Said Pike. “You are welcome by the way. What happened to you?”

The man shrugged. “I was just tired… I’ve been awake for a few days. It’s not easy being a ranger.”

“Oh so you really are a ranger? I kind of picked that from your clothes.”

The man raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what are you? Some kind of thief?”

Pike pouted. “I’m not a thief! I am a cool, super stealthy ninja… I’m Pike by the way. Who are you?”

“Thundar.”

“Thunder?”

“Thundar.”

“What kind of name is Thundar?”

“What kind of name is Pike?”

The two of them glared at each other. The tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. “I don’t think I like you very much.” Said Pike.

“The feeling is mutual.”

***

“Ha! Gaaaaaaaaaay!” Hollered Pidge from over the otherside of the game table.

Lance balked. “What? We are enemies! This is totally the set up for Thundar, dumb name by the way, to become Pike’s rival!”

Keith rolled his eyes. “I’m not good with coming up with names.”

Hunk patted his shoulder. “Thundar’s a good name. I mean, come on. My character’s name is Block.”

“I have to agree with Pidge.” Said Allura. “This does seem like the set up for either a rival’s to friends arch, or a rivals to friends to lovers arch. And I am here for it.” She looked over at Pidge. “That is the right phrasing? I am here for it?”

Pidge nodded. “Yep. Either that or big mood.”

“We are rivals!” Whined Lance.

Shiro shook his head. “Come on guys, let’s get back to the game.”

“Agreed.” Said Coran. “Oka, well we have spent enough time with Thundar and Pike. Allura, what is Valayun doing?”

As Allura went on to describe what her archer was doing, Lance leaned over to Keith and whispered. “Pidge totally ruined our character arch.”

Keith rolled his eyes and whispered back. “Relax. Thundar will do a bunch of things that will annoy the hell out of Pike. It’d say two or three sessions before Thundar starts developing feelings for Pike.”

“Good.” Lance laced his fingers with Keith’s under the table and smiled at him. Keith smiled back and they turned their attention back to the game.


	4. Cabin 7 (Incubus AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who got a bad bout of insomnia and was running off coffee and the will of the gods when they wrote this chapter? This loser! Don't worry thought I got some sleep the day after I wrote this and spent the rest of my time editing this and trying to figure out what the fuck sleep deprived me was writing. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Fifteen years. It had been fifteen years since Shiro had last seen Keith. It had been difficult, seeing as how Keith vanished from his life when he himself was nine years old, but Shiro was determined. Shiro had pretty much dedicated his entire life to finding Keith and in doing so he started to dig up things that caught the attention of some… Interesting people.

People that surprisingly had a shared interest in Keith, or at least the person that took Keith away from him. What Shiro found out had shocked him at first, but with the resources these people had provided him there was no way Shiro could ignore the obvious. It was staring Shiro right in the face.

Keith had been abducted by an Incubus. The Incubus was something that this organization had been trying to capture for generations. Everywhere it went they left corpses. They usually traveled with a human companion. It was theorised that the Incubus bewitches, brainwashes, or otherwise convinces humans to be their handler in the human world. They weren’t able to talk to one of the Incubi’s “handlers” since they seemed to either commit suicide or the Incubus murders them before they could be questioned. The prospect of Keith becoming this demon’s new “handler” made Shiro feel sick. 

The organization Shiro worked for had given him all the resources he needed to find Keith and bring him back alive. He finally got a good lead. Shiro got a lead in Willow Falls. A small hunting town in the middle of the woods.

So there Shiro was, standing outside of cabin seven. This was allegedly where Keith was. Where the demon was keeping him. He took a deep breath and went to the cabin door. The door was unlocked. Stealing himself for the horrors that he knew were inside, Shiro took a deep breath and opened the door.

The first thing that struck him was the strong smell of chemicals. Bleach. The whole place smelled like bleach. Just standing in the doorway he could see some tarps rolled up in a corner with some rubber gloves and a few other cleaning supplies.

“... Keith?” He whispered. “Are you here? Keith?” He took a few cautious steps inside. “Keith?” Suddenly a sharp pain filled his skull and Shiro collapsed to the ground, quickly blacking out.

***

When Shiro cale to again he was tied to a chair with an almost absurd amount of zip ties. He struggled a little, but he was completely stuck. There was no way he could get out of this. “Shit…”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t swear.” Said an unfamiliar voice. Shiro quickly looked over at a tanned man wearing an oversized hoodie. They were standing over the stove, slowly stirring something. “I’m not a huge fan of swearing.”

They turned off the stove and poured it into a large thermos. When he was done, he picked it up and walked over to Shiro. The man was very beautiful. Completely flawless. He would have probably been completely captivated by this man, if it wasn’t for the thin, tanned tail sweeping along the floor behind them. It was the Incubus.

The Incubus pulled up a chair and sat down across from him. They seemed annoyed that Shiro was there. “So… You have been the one following us for months huh?”

Shiro was surprised. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew.” Said the Incubus. “I wouldn’t have lived this long or suffered as much as I have if I could be caught so quickly.” They took Shiro’s wallet out of their hoodie pocket, quickly removing the money and looking at the credit cards and photos. “So… Your name is; Takashi Shirogane...” He grinned. “No, you’re not the Takashi Shirogane, are you? Shiro?”

“...” He didn’t like that the Incubus knew who he was.

The Incubus just hummed and happily took some photos out of his wallet. Shiro didn’t have many photos. Just two. One of his boyfriend, Adam, and one of Keith a day before he went to the hospital. Just a small, bright eyed six year old. The Incubus took pause as he looked at Keith's photo. He had a nostalgic look on his face.

“Keith was so cute when he was a child…” Said the Incubus. “I adore children.” Shiro made a small, disgusted noise. Surprisingly this seemed to make the Incubus back track. “Whoa! I don’t mean like that! I mean they are cute! You think I would touch them? That’s gross. I just like how adorable they are. They are so sweet and innocent. You just want to protect them. You know?”

Shiro glared at them. “Where is Keith?”

“Keith has gone for a walk.” Said the Incubus. “I don’t force Keith to be with me. He is allowed to leave me whenever he wants. I don’t limit his autonomy at all. I’ve never limited any of my handler’s autonomy.”

Shiro gritted his teeth. This thing had made Keith his handler. “You bastard.” He growled. “You fucking bastard.”

The Incubus pouted. “Now what did I say about swearing? That’s not nice. By the way, the name’s Lance.”

“I don’t give a fuck what your name is.” Snapped Shiro. “How could you do that to Keith? He was a child! How could you do that to a child?”

Lance shrugged. “To be honest I didn’t make him my handler on purpose… It kind of just happened. It wasn’t like I was going to abandon Keith. He was so small and fragile… Leaving something so innocent to die must be considered some kind of sin.”

The idea of a demon worrying about the concept of sin was laughable to Shiro. “... How did you meet my brother?”

Lance smiled happily. “Oh it’s quite a lovely story. You see, my previous handler worked the night shift at the Blackwell Hospital… You should know all about that place. There was that huge fire about fifteen years ago after all...”

***

Blackwell was a relatively large town. Large enough to have its own hospital and surgery, but small enough that most nights were extremely quiet. Almost hauntingly so. This was the place that Lance had called home for the past year and a half. 

This was because his current handler, a woman named Romelle, worked at the hospital in the pediatric section of the hospital. She mainly made sure that everyone was able to sleep and woke up in the morning. Occasionally comforted parents and guardians.

Lance sighed a little as he spun around on a chair next to Romelle. He had met the young woman at a hotel. It was quite an odd thing. Lance had accidentally saved her from getting raped by a man who had brought them both to a hotel for a threeway. With Romelle passed out Lance just decided to fuck the man and eat his heart. 

Romelle had come too while Lance was in the middle of eating the man’s heart. Of course she freaked out but after some explaining they somehow managed to form a bond of respect. Romelle respected Lance’s existence as a powerful being that saved her, and Lance respected that this woman dedicated her life to saving the young.

She ended up taking Lance to her workplace at night since she was very adamant that Lance not eat any human hearts. It was annoying, but Lance respected her wish and decided that as long as she was his handler he would stick to a more liquid diet. He had done it before with previous handlers. He was nowhere near as strong when he ate hearts after sex.

“Romelle…” He whined from his seat.

“Yes Lance?”

“I wanna do something.”

“Don’t you mean someone?”

“That too, but you know… There’s nothing interesting to do.”

She shrugged. “You could go for a walk? See if anyone is awake. We have a few new children. Some broken bones and what not. I’m going through the files now. If someone’s awake, come back and tell me. Okay?”

Lance sighed and got up. He walked down the hallway. Now Lance liked children. They were cute. They had chubby cheeks and big, innocent eyes. They were very accepting and loved attention when they were sick. He was more than happy to stay by a child’s bed until they fell asleep.

He looked up at the name tags to see if there were any names that he didn’t recognize. He eventually found a new name; Keith Kogane. Interesting last name. Lance hadn’t come across a Kogane before.

Out of curiosity, Lance opened the door and peeked inside. The child on the bed didn’t move. Lance carefully walked into the room. A small boy with black hair was restlessly sleeping in the hospital bed. IV drips and heart monitors all hooked up to his body. Every once in a while his heart rate would spike, but not enough for an alarm to go off and then it would drop with the same result.

It made Lance sad to see children like this. Lance was about to grab Keith’s chart to see what was wrong with him when the little boy stirred. “A-are you a doctor?” They croaked out the little boy.

Lance looked down at him, surprised he was awake. “No, I’m not a doctor… But I can get one for you. Can’t you sleep?”

Keith shook his head. “Hurts too much.”

“What hurts honey?”

“Chest.”

Lance nodded a little and looked down at the boy’s chest. He knew Romelle wouldn’t be very happy with him, but the boy was only in a little discomfort. “You know, I can fix this without a doctor.”

“Really?”

Lance smiled and very carefully put his hand over The boy’s chest. “Yep. It’s a little magic spell I know. Just take a deep breath and close your eyes.” The boy seemed a little skeptical, but closed his eyes. Lance smiled at him and concentrated his energy flowing into his hand and into Keith’s body. “Pain, pain, go away. We don’t want you here today. Pain, pain, go away.”

Almost instantly Keith’s heart monitor evened out to something more normal. His little body wasn’t in distress anymore. He’d be able to sleep now. Keith opened his eyes and looked shocked. He stared up at Lance in aw.

“Are you an angel?”

Lance was a little surprised by that statement. Many children called him that and it always made him chuckle. They were always so innocent and always saw the good in people. “Yep. I’m a special hospital angel. I go from room to room and watch over the children to make sure they aren’t in pain so they can sleep. But you can’t tell your parents I’m here.”

“... Why?”

“Well it’s the rules. If you tell an adult I am here then a magic barrier goes up and I won’t be able to come into the room anymore.” Lied Lance. It was just easier this way.

Keith nodded, taking this all very serious. “It’s okay Mr Angel. I can’t tell my parents anyway. I don’t have parents.”

Lance was a little surprised to hear this. “Oh? Really now?”

Keith nodded. “Yep.”

“Well you still can’t tell adults. Okay? Those are the rules.”

“Okay. No adults.”

“Good boy. My name is Lance by the way. Not Mr Angel.”

“Okay. I’m Keith. I’m six.”

“And I’m well over five hundred years old. Close to six hundred.”

“Whoa… That’s old.”

Lance chuckled and patted Keith’s head. “Yes it is. Now if you even want to get close to my age you gotta get some sleep now. Okay Keith?”

“Okay Lance… Will you come by tomorrow night?”

“Only if you need help falling asleep.” Said Lance. “Now I have many other children to see tonight. You get some sleep. Goodnight Keith.”

“Goodnight Mr Lance Angel.”

Lance grinned and happily left Keith’s room. He was a cute kid. He liked them a lot. He quickly checked around the floor. Everyone was pretty much sleeping peacefully. There were a few toddlers that weren’t happy but they had their parents staying with them, so Lance didn’t bother with them.

He walked back to Romelle’s desk and sat back in his spinning chair. “You were gone for a while.” She said. “Did you talk to anyone?”

“Yeah, a six year old. Keith Kogane.” Said Lance. He couldn’t help but smile. “He’s really cute. He called me an angel.”

“I’d think that would have been an insult.” Said Romelle.

“Rude. He just meant I was really nice.” Said Lance. “... So Romelle…”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask you!”

“You’re going to ask why Keith is here.” She said. “You always do that. You meet someone you think is cute and shower them with attention until they are discharged. Seriously, who would have thought an Incubus would care so much about children?”

“Please Romelle? He had chest pains and I wanna know if he has broken ribs or something.” Whined Lance. “I want to know how long I can visit that chubby cheeked cuite for.”

Romelle sighed heavily. “You’re not going to stop pleading until you get what you want, are you?”

“You know me too well.”

“Fine, but only to get you off my back.” She quickly looked through her computer until she found his file. “Let’s see, Keith Kogane he… Oh… He’s staying indefinitely…”

“Indefinitely? Why?”

“He needs a heart transplant.” Said Romelle as she continued to read. “His heart is too weak for him to stay at his foster parents home so he’s here… I just skimmed this before but wow… The poor kid has congenital heart disease. Multiple septal defects, fibrillation, and mitral regurgitation...”

“In English?”

“He has lots of holes in his heart, he has an irregular heart beat, and the valves in his heart don’t close properly so the blood flows back when it shouldn’t.”

“Oh… So he needs a heart transplant?”

“Yeah he does.” Romelle sighed. “I hate it when kids need transplants… I’m glad the people taking care of him right now seem to be well off enough to look after him… Some foster parents wouldn’t go this far for a kid they took in.”

“What if they can’t get Keith a new heart? What happens then?”

“He could possibly die of a heart attack.”

Lance frowned. He didn’t want Keith to die. He was such a sweet kid. He didn’t deserve that. He really liked children and wanted to hold them and hug them. Make sure that they were going to be safe from those kinds of things.

“There’s nothing you can do for him Lance.” Said Romelle. “You can’t save everyone… But you can try to ease their suffering. If a heart doesn’t come in soon, Keith might have to be put in the ease category.”

***

“But of course I couldn’t just leave him.” Gushed Lance. “Keith was such a cute kid. Always happy to see me and called me his angel. It was adorable.”

Shiro grimaced. He remembered this angel that Keith talked about. When he went to visit Keith a few times, when Shiro’s parents weren’t in the room, Keith told him about the hospital angel that would make his chest stop hurting when he was trying to sleep. Shiro wasn’t sure if he believed Keith or if the medication the hospital was giving him was really good. Apparently Keith had been telling the truth.

Lance smiled happily at Shiro. “He showed me his hippo that you… Oh wait! He still has it.” Lance got up and went to a duffle bag. He happily pulled it out and showed Shiro an old stuffed hippo toy. It had gone grey with age and one of the eyes had been replaced, but it was Keith’s hippo. The hippo Shiro had bought for Keith with his pocket money. “Isn’t it so cute?” Asked Lance.

“Fuck you.” Growled Shiro. He tugged at the zip ties again. He was going to strangle them. “You fucking groomed my brother! You disgusting fuck!”

Lance glared at him and put the hippo back in the bag. “I didn’t groom anyone. I never did anything perverse to a child. Just because I’m an Incubus doesn’t mean I’m going to do something as disgusting as that. I treated Keith well. I read him books every night. I sang to him. I took away his pain when his chest pain was so bad he was vomiting. I practically raised him!”

Raising Keith or not, Shiro didn’t trust this Incubus at all. Keith wasn’t a kid any more. How long did it take until Lance decided that Keith was an adult? How long until Lance decided to crawl into Keith’s bed and start touching him? If Keith saw Lance as a parental figure that would have really fucked with his head.

“Yeah, you raised him alright.” Growled Shiro.

Lance’s eyes flashed red for a moment and he grabbed Shiro’s throat, nails digging into his flesh ever so slightly. “I didn’t groom him. I would never groom a child. You want someone to blame for Keith not being around you anymore? You want to blame me for taking Keith from you? Blame them! Blame these fuckers!” 

He grabbed Shiro’s wallet and took out one of the cards. The card to the organization that Shiro had fallen in. The group that helped him realize that Lance was an Incubus in the first place.

“Marmora?”

“The Blade of Marmora.” Corrected Lance. “A group of demon hunters from the days when Paganism was the main religion of the day. They want me dead. They want my kind dead no matter what! They don’t care! They kill everyone… They don’t care who gets in the way…”

***

Lance was really enjoying his time with Keith. The child was still sickly, and some nights he was happy enough for Lance to sit next to him and sing him to sleep. Lance was happy with that. As long as Keith was happy he didn’t mind. He’d watch over Keith and make him comfortable until he was able to get a new heart.

Though one night Romelle pulled him aside. “You can’t see Keith tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“... He had a heart attack today.” Said Romelle. “He almost didn’t make it.”

Lance froze in horror. “What? I have to see him now! Why would you think I wouldn’t want to see him? I have to see him now. I have to see my Keith!”

She slapped him. Stunning him into silence. “Lance, Listen to yourself. Your Keith? Since when was Keith yours? He’s a kid! You can’t be attracted to a child like that!”

“I’m not attracted to children! I just want Keith to be safe and happy…” Said Lance quietly. “I won’t wake him up. I’ll just sit next to him and let him sleep. I won’t wake him up.” 

“... Fine. Just be quiet. Okay? Don’t wake up Keith.”

Lance nodded and went to Keith’s room. The poor kid looked like he had been hooked up to more things. It made him incredibly sad. He wanted to hug Keith and let him know it was okay. He wanted to do something for him. Anything.

He sat by Keith’s bed and gently ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. He was really out of it from all the drugs they had pumped into him to keep him stable. He probably wouldn’t wake up no matter what he did.

“... I’m sorry Keith. I wish I could help you.” He said quietly. “You’re so cute… You don’t deserve this…” He looked at Keith’s chest for a moment and considered doing something drastic. If he did this Romelle would get pissed off at him. He considered her a good friend, but he really liked Keith. “... If I can save you I will. Don’t worry Keith. I won’t let anyone hurt you. No one’s gonna hurt you. Not while I’m around.”

Lance sat by Keith and gently sang to him. He hoped that Keith would be okay. Someone would be able to give him a heart soon. Keith needed a new heart. Lance would happily trade places with Keith if he could.

Around two in the morning Lance started to smell something a little weird. It was a chemical smell that wasn’t usually in the hospital. A few seconds later he heard people walking while hearing Romelle talking kind of loudly.

Lance frowned and looked out the door. He saw Romelle talking to a man with a very long braid. He couldn’t tell when she was saying, but she seemed pissed. Suddenly someone came up behind her and put her into a choke hold. Before Lance could go out there and stop them from hurting her, he heard a crack and Romelle’s body went limp. They dropped her and the man with the braid scolded the other. The other just shrugged and started pouring chemicals around the hallway. Lance could pick it out now. It was petrol. They were pouring petrol.

He quietly closed the door and started pacing around the room. The Blade of Marmora found him again. They killed his handler this time. He couldn’t tell if it was an accident or not. He couldn’t risk it. They were going to set the building on fire to try and smoke him out. He looked at Keith. The child was definitely die if Lance abandoned him to save his own life. He wasn’t going to let that happen. He was going to save Keith.

Lance quickly took his shirt off and wrapped Keith up in it. He then very carefully started to unhook him from the machines while very quietly singing. “Pain, pain, go away, We don’t want you here today. Pain, pain, go away…” 

Lance picked up Keith and protectively held him close. He looked out the window and double checked how high up they were. They were on the second floor of the hospital. This would be fine. He held the boy close to his chest and waited for the fire to start. The second he smelled burning, Lance dived head first out the window. The fire quickly engulfed the building.

***

“So as you see, I saved Keith’s life.” Said Lance calmly. “The Blade of Marmora killed a lot of innocent people that night. You thought Keith died in the fire too didn’t you? Then you found out his body was unaccounted for and it led you down the rabbit hole.”

“How is he still alive?” Asked Shiro. “His heart conditions…”

Lance giggled. “Oh you know, secret Incubus magic. I kept Keith safe his whole life…” His smile suddenly changed and his eyes became deadly cold. “And I will keep Keith safe no matter what.” He leaned over Shiro, getting right up in his face. “No matter who comes after me or who comes after him. I will keep him safe… I won’t let you take my Keith away from me.”

Suddenly the door opened and Keith walked in. He looked tired. Though he did seem surprised when he saw Shiro tied to a chair. He looked over at Lance and raised an eyebrow. “Lance? What’s going on?”

Lance looked over at Keith and grinned. “Keith! You’re back!” He went over to Keith, hugged him and happily kissed his cheek. Keith blushed at the kiss and returned the hug. Lance grinned and pulled him over to Shiro. “Look, look, look! It’s a family reunion. Remember Shiro? You used to talk about him all the time. It’s Shiro!”

Keith seemed confused for a moment and looked at Shiro. It seemed like forever, but Keith’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Shiro…?”

Shiro smiled softly at him. “Keith…”

Keith practically jumped into Shiro’s lap and hugged him tightly. He almost started sobbing. “I-I missed you… I missed you so much...”

“I missed you too. I missed you so much.”

After a few seconds, Lance cleared his throat. “Keith… I know you missed Shiro, but remember the rules. Shiro knows I am an Incubus. No one is allowed to know I am an Incubus. Remember what I taught you? Who are the only people that know I am an Incubus?”

“... Me and bad guys?” Answered Keith in a slightly scared and confused tone.

Lance nodded. “That is right. Shiro isn’t you, is he?”

“No…”

“So that means that Shiro is what?”

“A bad guy…?”

“Very good.” He patted Keith’s back and very carefully moved him off of Shiro. “And you know what the bad guys will do to us, right?”

Keith looked over at Shiro and then back at Lance. “But Shiro’s my-”

“No he’s not.” Said Lance coldly. “Shiro is a bad guy. He’s going to kill me and then he’ll take you away somewhere. You’ll never see me again. I’ll be gone forever. Shiro is going to take you away from me.”

Each word seems to stress Keith even more to the point where it looks like he’s going to have a full on panic attack. He was shaking his head and looked like he was on the verge of tears. It broke Shiro’s heart to see how much influence the Incubus had over him.

“So here is what we are going to do.” Explained Lance. “The month is almost up, we have lots of supplies in the car, and we can get out of here. There’s just one thing you need to do first.” Lance walked over to the door, picked up a shovel and handed it to Keith. “You need to kill Shiro.”

Keith looked horrified. “B-but I… It’s Shiro… I… M-my brother...”

Lance shook his head and picked up the duffle bag and the thermos. “Keith, I’m full. I don’t need to kill him. If you want to protect me and stop people from splitting us up you need to kill Shiro. When you’re done you can come to the car. I made you some yummy beef and vegetable soup. You can have some when you kill Shiro.” With that Lance happily left the cabin to go to the car.

Shiro looked between Keith and the shovel. “... Keith, you don’t have to do this.”

“Y-you’re going to split us up…” Said Keith quietly. “I don’t want to leave him… Shiro, I can’t leave Lance… P-please tell me you aren’t a bad guy… Please tell me you didn’t come here to take me away… I don’t want to leave him…”

Shiro felt like he was losing Keith with each word. “Keith… Lance isn’t good for you. He’s an Incubus. You shouldn’t be living with him. You need to live with other humans.”

“N-no… I-I have to stay with him.” Sahd Keith. He was shaking now.

“Keith, you don’t have to stay with him anymore.” Said Shiro. “You can just cut me free and we can-”

“NO!” Yelled Keith. “You don’t understand! You fucking don’t understand!” He started to sniffle and cry. “Shiro… I can’t leave Lance… I can’t leave him…”

“I don’t care what he’s told you!” Yelled Shiro. “He doesn’t love you! He’s using you! He’s a sex demon! Sex demons do and say anything to get what they want! He’s been using you ever since you were taken to the hospital! Please Keith! You can’t keep being his handler! You’ll end up dead!” He wanted to get through to him. He had to. Keith needed to know what Lance was.

“No you don’t understand… I physically can’t leave him.” Said Keith. He turned around and lifted up his shirt. He had a gnarly looking scar on his back just under his ribcage. It looked like someone had clawed into his body. 

Shiro didn’t understand. “... What did he do to you?”

A nervous laugh escaped Keith’s lips. “Lance he… I had another heart attack and Lance saved me by sticking his hand inside me and pumping my blood by himself while he tried to figure out what to do… He did something to me. I don’t know what he did but I think he said he made me sleep and he swapped our hearts.”

“He did what?”

Keith shrugged and pulled his shirt back down. “Incubus blood has strange properties. As long as Lance is healthy and well fed his blood is mending my heart. He said it would take twenty years before my heart is fully healed… After twenty years he’ll give me back my heart and take his back.”

“No… Keith, you can’t believe him!” Said Shiro. “He’s a demon! He’s manipulating you! In five more years you’re going to be twenty six! What’s to stop him from deciding he wants to eat your heart instead? Just untie me and we can run away! I know people that will keep you safe!”

Keith smiled sadly at Shiro and turned the shovel in his hands. “I ran away from him when I was fifteen. I was angry that he didn’t like me smoking and was yelling at me for ruining my lungs… We weren’t staying in a very safe place at the time and I was almost stabbed, but he stopped it. He later told me he knew where I was because I have his heart and as long as it’s beating in my chest he’ll know where I am. He’ll always find me.”

“... I can still keep you safe.” Said Shiro. “He’s afraid of these people that I know. He’s afraid of The Blade of Marmora. They will keep you safe from him… Please Keith. I haven't given up on you after all these years… You’re my brother. I love you.”

His pleading seemed to have worked somehow. It must have broken through to him. Keith seemed nervous and unsure of himself. He looked down the shovel and started to nervously tighten and loosen his grip.

“It’s okay Keith.” Said Shiro in a calm, soothing voice. “Everything will be fine. I promise you. We will figure this out together. We always do, remember? You and me against the world. Shiro and Keith. Keith and Shiro. I love you Keith. You’re my brother.”

Keith looked so conflicted. “I… I…”

“We can just walk away.” Said Shiro softly. “You’re not in trouble. You were just a kid. I’m not mad at you. Not at all.”

“I…”

“It’s okay Keith. I love you.” Shiro wanted to reach out and hug him. He would have if the zip ties weren’t there. “You believe me don’t you?”

Keith nodded. “Y-yeah… I believe you.” Before Shiro could say anything else Keith raised the shovel and quickly brought it down on his head.

***

Keith wandered out to the car and sat in the driver’s seat. He was shaking, but still attempted to turn the keys which he failed to put in the ignition in the first place. Lance frowned a little and gently put his hand on Keith’s arm. It seemed to calm him down a fair bit.

“Is he dead?” Asked Lance. “Did you kill the bad guy?”

Keith nodded.

“... Okay.” Lance carefully turned Keith’s head and saw he had blood splatter on his face. “Well now you’re all messy. Such a messy boy.” He gently wiped the mess of Keith’s face and smiled happily at him. “There you go. You’re such a handsome young man. Give me a smile? Smile for me love?” Keith smiled weakly at Lance. “Good boy. You did such a good job protecting me.” He kissed Keith’s cheek.

“Thank you…” Said Keith quietly.

Lance smiled lovingly at him. “You want some soup now or later on?”

“Later… Not hungry.”

“Okay. As long as you eat it eventually I’ll be happy. You like making me happy, right?”

Keith nodded.

It made Lance smile when Keith agreed with him. Keith was a very good boy. Kind, loyal, cute, and handsome. He gently ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. “Keith, honey, you know I love you right? You know if there was another way I wouldn’t have asked you to kill Shiro, right? I would never ask you to do anything I didn’t think you couldn’t handle on your own. Right?”

“I-I know.” Said Keith quietly

Lance smiled and put the keys in the ignition for Keith. “Good. I love you Keith. I love you so much. I haven’t had a handler as amazing as you before.”

“I-I love you too.”

Lance grinned and kissed his cheek. “Good boy. When we get to the next gas station I’ll go in and get you a cookie. Would you like that? A cookie after your soup?”

“Y-yeah. I would.” Said Keith quietly. He started the car and started to drive.

Lance smiled and settled into his seat. He was very pleased with how things had turned out. Keith was a really good boy. He loved him so much and would do everything in his power to make sure that Keith was safe.

***

Shiro woke up with a splitting headache. It was night now. He reached up and touched his forehead. Sticky, congealed blood stuck to his face. It took him a moment for Shiro to realize he had been cut free. Cut free from the zip ties and left on the floor. Did Keith just knock him out?

He slowly stood up, almost slipping on a piece of paper.it stuck to his show and he went to peel it off and throw it away. But he realized that the paper was a note written in blood. More than likely his blood.

It was written in the same terrible handwriting he had read over and over again from his dear little brother when he was teaching him how to read and write.

_Im sowy Shero. I love you._

Keith still couldn’t spell his name right. Shiro was instantly filled a new determination. He was going to find Keith again. He was going to save him from that Incubus. Shiro was going to do everything in his power to make sure that Keith was safe.


	5. Potato (modern fantasy AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chubby, elf Keith. Enough said. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

In the city of Arus there is a health clinic known as the McClain health and wellness facility. It’s a family run business run of course by the McClain family. The clinic is open from 8:30am-6pm Monday to Saturday. At the moment it’s 5:30pm and the only people left at the clinic are Lance and Veronica McClain. The youngest male and oldest girl respectively.

Veronic checked the books and hummed happily to herself. “Looks like we have one appointment left for today, and he’s all yours Lancy-Lance.”

Lance sighed a little as he looked through the appointment book. Don’t get him wrong he liked his job, but it was Friday and he wanted to go home already. Life was unfair. “I’ll give you fifty if you take them. Instead of me.”

Veronica scoffed. “No way. I’m already doing closing today. You gotta go and do this. Okay? Or do you want me to tell Mama that you’re slacking off again.”

Lance would have gone off on his big sister when they heard the jingle of the front door opening. The two of them paused and looked over to see a man wearing a dark red tracksuit. Not unusual for their clinic, but this person was also wearing a medical mask, large dark sunglasses and a beanie. This odd person was Lance’s last client.

Veronica patted his back. “Good luck little bro.” And like that she vanished.

Lance quietly swore to himself and walked over to the man with a clipboard. “Hi. I’m Lance McClain. Do you have an appointment today?”

The man nodded. “Um yeah. Keith… My um, my name is Keith Koagne.”

Lance nodded and looked at his clipboard. “Awesome. That all checks out. If you would follow me to one of the rooms?” Keith just nodded and followed Lance down the hall. Once they were settled down Lance happily looked over his clipboard again. “Alright. So Keith, before we start can you please take your mask and sunglasses off?”

Keith jumped a little in surprise. “Oh! Right! Sorry. Just used to wearing them when I leave the house, you know? I um, I haven’t been to one of these places before so I don’t really know how this works...”

The man’s eyes were grey, but when the light hit them right they were kind of purple. It was beautiful and stunned Lance into silence for a moment. Keith didn’t look half bad either. He was very cute. He cleared his throat and quickly looked down at his clipboard.

“Okay, just gonna go through some stuff… You signed up for the diet course, right?”

Keith blushed a little and nodded. “I um, yeah…”

“That’s good. I actually specialise in nutrition and do most of the diet planning here. Can you take your jacket off for me?”

Keith sighed a little and took off his jacket. His black shirt hugged him tightly. Lance could clearly see Keith’s love handles spilling over the side of his track pants. Keith didn’t look overweight, but he could lose a few pounds. And if Lance was perfectly honest he did kind of consider himself a chubby chaser, but he couldn’t let his physical preferences get in the way of his work. His client’s physical and mental health were his top priority.

Lance smiled and grabbed a pen. “Alright, so is there any part of your body that you are particularly concerned about?”

The other man pouted slightly and looked down at himself. “Well… My stomach is kind of bothering me the most and my thighs… I’m struggling to fit into my old pants.” He sighed sadly. “It didn’t used to be like this, back when I was running through hills and valleys, but ever since I came here I just…” The man started to look more and more depressed. “With a body like this, I’ll never be able to go back home to the forest…”

Now Lance couldn’t have this. He always tried to keep his clients positive. “Don’t say that. You just gotta keep your head up, stick your chest out, and before you know it you’ll be able to return home in no time… Did you just say forest?”

Keith gave Lance a confused look. “Yeah?”

“... Nothing.” Maybe Keith just lived in a town near a forest or something? Or had some family home near a forest? He didn’t really know, but he didn’t want to push Keith for any answers he didn’t need answers to. He was just here to help the cute chubby boy become a cute skinny boy. “A-anyway, there’s some information missing that we need to fill out. You forgot to let us know how old you were.”

Keith instantly became nervous. “I um… t-two hundred…”

“... Eh?”

“I-I mean twenty two!” He said quickly. “Twenty two… I um… I’m twenty two…”

“Right…” Lance quickly wrote down Keith’s age and put it down. “Alright, now if you could lay face down on the table there we can get started.”

Keith seemed to be taken aback. “Why?”

“Oh it’s just part of our service.” informed Lance. “Just a quick massage to help release any tension you have in your body. Nothing too in depth or intense. You did sign the waiver when you came in the other day and made an appointment at the front desk. But if you want to skip it I don’t mind. Some people aren’t comfortable with it.”

Keith frowned a little as he thought this over. “O-okay… Can I keep my shirt on?”

“Sure. Like I said it isn’t anything super in depth.” Said Lance. 

He watched as Keith got onto the table, and couldn’t help but smile a little when his shirt rolled up a little, showing off his love handles. The man quickly tried to pull his shirt down to hide it in embarrassment. Lance ignored it and put his hands on Keith’s back, gently pressing down on his spine with thumbs.

“AH!”

Lance immediately jumped back. “Are you okay?!”

Keith was bright red. “I-I’m sorry. Just um… I didn’t expect that… I um… First time I’ve had a massage before… You caught me off guard.”

“... Okay. Just tell me if anything hurts okay?” Lance continued to massage Keith, taking note of where there was tension and what points seemed to make Keith gasp and moan slightly as he tried not to squirm. It was so cute but Lance had to keep it professional. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Y-yeah. I’m fine.” Panted Keith. “K-keep going…”

Lance blushed a little and continued to massage him. He cursed himself for being bisexual and going into a line of work there he was around his prefered body type. Once the massage was over Lance stood back and cracked his knuckles.

“Okay, well that should…” He looked down at Keith and saw something he definitely shouldn’t have seen. Keith’s beanie had almost completely slid off of Keith’s head showing his ears were abnormally long and pointed. “... What? You have elf ears?”

“...”

The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees. “I-I won’t tell anyone! I swear!” Said Lance as he quickly backed off.

Keith slowly sat up and glared at Lance, looking rather menacing, well as menacing as a chubby elf with their shirt riding up could be. “Well human… I guess I have no choice but to come clean… The truth is, I am an elf.” He got up and grabbed Lance by the front of his shirt. “And now you know what I am, you definitely have to help me now!”

Lance was silently freaking out. “O-Okay! Let’s just sit down and talk this out! H-helping people is my job!”

The elf glared at Lance for a few seconds before he let him go and sat back down, quickly adjusting his own clothes. “Okay, fine. So, I come from a different realm. Different realms are connected by different gates, but the asshole ancients that made the gates put some bullshit equivalency spell on them. So I need to lose weight to get home!”

Lance felt like his brain was shutting down. “Let’s back up a little, what is this equivalency spell?”

Keith sighed heavily. “The human world is full of so many amazing and interesting things so to stop illegal trading between worlds the spell was put in place. If one thing passes through one gate the same thing has to pass through.”

Lance nodded along as he tried to understand this. “Okay, so why are you here in the first place?”

The elf scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Why am I here? What kind of question is that? I came to this realm for the one and only reason anyone comes here. Food.”

“... Food?”

“Food.” He pouted and crossed his arms. “Humans live in luxury compared to where I come from. All the food in my world is either boiled or grilled. We’ve only just started using salt and pepper, and every other seasoning is scarce and only affordable to the rich! Even simple soup stock isn’t a thing! Food has no flavour!” Ranted Keith. “My race mainly eats vegetables. There’s no variety in our meals. I’m tired of raw and watery stews. Our salads have no dressings. We can’t compete with a world like yours! I could only dream of eating the kinds of things you humans take for granted.”

Lance stared at Keith completely dumbfounded. This elf came to earth to eat food. He literally came to earth because he was hungry and tired of his own world’s food. Not even some epic quest to save someone or get a magic item back. It was because he wanted food.

“Um… so is there any particular food you like?” Asked Lance.

Keith nodded quickly. He seemed to be really worked up now after his rant about his world’s lack of seasoning. “Crispy fried potatoes sprinkled with salt like the whitest snow, or garnished with rosemary or paprika. Smothered in sauces so delicious they could be used as soup… These treasures are already as pure as gold ingots! They are a fried treasure and you have the gall to call it junk food? French fries are manna from heaven! A divine food! A gift from the gods!”

“... You got fat from eating french fries didn’t you?”

“... Yes.”

Lance nodded. “I see… So um, I still don’t understand why you need to lose weight to get home.”

“The gate’s magic won’t let you go through again if you weigh more than you did when you went through it the first time…”

Lance was shocked. “Really? That… That’s an interesting spell…”

“Yeah…” Muttered Keith. “I um… I tried to get back into shape myself. I tried a strict diet of raw foods and did some brutal training. I ran twenty miles every day for a month. Did two hundred push ups, sit ups, and squats but nothing worked… The food here is too good… After a week of training and sticking to my diet I always end up cracking binging on fries and I put on more weight than originally had… So I figured I would come here and get help…” He sounded so ashamed of himself. Even his ears were drooping. “I just couldn’t help myself. The food here is really good, but I miss my family… And I’d never live it down if one of them came to find me and found out I was too fat to get through the gate…”

Lance smiled softly at the distressed elf. He was obviously dedicated to losing weight even if he had failed so many times before. He kept trying and hadn’t just given up and stuffed himself on fries.

“Alright Keith, I think I can help you.”

“Really?”

Lance grinned. “Yep. First things first we need to improve your eating habits. You have to stop eating french fries and switch to a balanced diet; three meals a day centered around vegetables.”

Keith looked horrified. “Potatoes are vegetables!”

“Look, you want to go home, right? You need to show some self-control and stop eating them until you’ve at least reached your weight loss goal.”

Keith glared at the ground as if in deep thought. “Do I really have to?”

“Look, dietary restrictions along with exercise and the diet course you signed up for are going to help you see results. So give it all you’ve got.”

“... If I only eat french fries once a day-”

“Give them up.”

And thus Keith Kogane started on his journey to change his lifestyle with Lance McClain. However, in this world of laziness, stress, and calories… Neither of them could have expected the tidal wave of people from another world just cresting the horizon.


	6. A Fool and a Duke (Royal AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love a royal AU every once in a while? So long story short, everyone's still an alien, Keith's Galra and so is Shiro, Lance is Altean, but Lance isn't Royalty in this one. So I hope you like it. Also, Keith is going by Yurak in this chapter because Galran. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

For the first time after the ten years war between Dibazzel and Altea, the two monarchs decided to meet and officially declare peace. To solidify the peace the Princess of Altea, Allura, was going to marry Prince Lotor of Diabazzel. Accompanying Prince Lotor was his younger cousin Duke Yurak and the captain of the royal guards, Shiro.

Funnily enough the Prince and Princess were already betrothed to each other before the war had started. This was just a good excuse to officially declare it’s over. Yurak sighed heavily as he drummed his fingers on his knee. He wanted this to be over already.

Shiro gently patted his back. “It’ll be fine. Don’t get so worked up about it. We aren’t enemies anymore.” Yurak still huffed anyway. He didn’t really want to be here, but Lotor had asked him to come along. Some bullshit about building relationships and what not. 

They got to the palace and the royals greeted each other. King Alfor of Altea and King Zarkon of Diabazzel. They shook hands and greeted each other like old friends. Like the war never happened. Zarkon presented his son, Lotor to them. He shook the King’s hand and lamented how they had missed coming to Altea before the war. 

Alfor then presented his daughter, Allura to them. She was very pretty with long, wavy white hair. Her eyes shone like sapphires and the marking on her cheeks were bright pink. She was very pretty in a non-Galran kind of way.

Alfor turned his attention to Yurak and Shiro. “And who might your entourage be?”

Zarkon smiled slightly as he looked over at the other men. “This is my nephew. Duke Yurak of Verpzar. The man with his is the captain of the royal guards, Shiro.”

With introductions out of the way, Alfor brought them to a small sitting room to talk politics and what not. Well, Alfor and Zarkon talked politics. Allura and Lotor were catching up and seemed to be off in their own little world. Yurak wanted to throw himself out the window. But he had to sit there and pretend he was having a good time. He just sat there and glanced over at Shiro, quietly begging for him to help.

Before Shiro could say anything there was a knock at the door and Alfor called them in. Yurak was completely bemused to see an Altean on a unicycle, balancing a broom on his nose, just wheeling himself in. He looked over at Shiro and he was sharing the same look of complete confusion.

“Hey your highness.” Said the man as he continued his little stunt. “So I was thinking that maybe tonight I could do something like this? The Galra are into balancing acts too right?”

Alfor face palmed. “Lance…”

“Or are they more into stand up?” Asked this Lance guy. “I don’t know much about Galran culture, so I could open up with a joke about how I’m not gonna make a joke about them or I could oopsy another war.”

“Lance.”

“Magic? Everyone likes magic. I could saw the Viscountess in half again?” He suggested. “Or if the Princess agrees, maybe her? Then again I could always break out the instruments again? Who doesn’t love a good ballad?”

“Lance!” He said more sternly.

Lance took the broom off his nose and looked up at the King. “Yes?” He then noticed the group already in the room. The man looked around and slowly nodded. “Ah, I see… I have made yet another blunder… Well, goodbye.” The Altean quickly peddled backwards on his unicycle and used the broom to steer himself out of the room.

Once he was gone Allura started laughing. “I told you this was going to happen.” She said. “I told you he would forget when everyone was going to arrive.”

“Is that the same Lance from when we were younger?” Asked Lotor. “Didn’t his family used to take care of the stables?”

“They still do.” Said Allura. “Lance just has a way with words and has this charm about him, so now he is the court jester.”

Zarkon frowned a little. “Well he’s certainly… amusing.”

***

Later that day when Yurak was allowed to explore the castle on his own, he ended up finding the gardens. The Altean gardens were nice. Very pretty. They didn’t have gardens this nice back at Diabazzel. He found a quiet spot and sat down. The spot he chose hid him quite well from the view of anyone that would walk by. He was happy with that. He liked his solitude.

After a few hours an Altean walked into the very quiet section of the garden. It was Lance. Yurak watched curiously as Lance walked around the space and started to do some stretches. Once he was done, he did a one handed cartwheel and finished it by doing the splits. Lance then got up and did a few more flips and tumbles.

It quickly became apparent that this was the place where Lance practiced his routines. Keith wasn’t sure if he should stay still or just wait until Lance was gone. Though it was entertaining to see a preview of what was probably going to be tonight’s entertainment. But his legs were cramping up and he had to move his legs. He ended up bumping some of the shrubs he was sitting near, which caught the Altean’s attention.

“Hello? Anyone there?” He called as he walked towards where Yurak was hiding. Yurak tried to press himself further into the shadows, but Lance quickly found him. “Oh! Didn’t realize we were growing stuff from Diabazzel.”

Yurak glared at him. “Piss off.”

Lance gasped and clutched his chest in an overly dramatic fashion. “You wound me so!” He grinned and held his hand out. “Anyway, the name’s Lance. Royal jester. Also go by, Jester, Fool, Royal Fool, and loverboy. I wasn’t aware Zarkon was bringing anyone other than Lotor and some guards.”

Yurak frowned at him, and reluctantly shook his hand. “Duke Yurak of Verpzar. I’m Lotor’s cousin.”

Lance nodded and gave Yurak a quick once over. “I see, I see. Well, between you and me, I think you dress a lot nicer than Lotor.”

“... Thanks?”

“Yep. Love a man with dark hair.”

“... Right. So how long have you known Allura?”

“Oh, ever since we were kids. I was born a year after her and we kind of became playmates.” Said Lance happily. “I would ask how long you’ve known Lotor, but I have a feeling you might say since birth?”

“Fair enough. That is true.” Said Keith. “So, did you really not know we were already here when you came in and made a fool of yourself?”

Lance shrugged. “Well, yeah. I play the fool, but I am no village idiot. Thought it would be best to bust in and let you all know what kind of a person you’re dealing with. I heard that your people are a little… You aren’t very humorous.”

Yurak rolled his eyes. “Maybe Alteans just don’t know a good joke.”

Lance gasped in mock shock. “Oh! You wound me so! Are all Galra so mean? But seriously, what do Galra find funny? I want to make sure my routine tonight is a hit with you guys along with the royal court.”

Yurak shrugged. “Anything you do is fine.”

“... You are no help.”

“Yurak!” Called Shiro as he rounded a corner. “I thought I heard you. What are you doing out here?”

“Talking to a Fool.” He said.

Lance grinned and nodded. “It’s true. I saw him talking to his own shadow.”

Yurak glared daggers at Lance while Shiro tried and failed to snort back a laugh. “Well, okay then. I’m Shiro.”

“Lance. But you already know that.” Said the Fool. “Maybe you can be more helpful then the Duke of Verzipper.”

“Verpzar.” Corrected Yurak.

“Berpzar.”

“Verpzar.”

“Cantelope.”

“That one wasn’t even close!”

Shiro chuckled. “Galra appreciate a quick wit along with some slapstick.”

“Ah, so you all appreciate a good punchline. Got it.” Said Lance with a grin. “Okay, I can work with that. Thanks for the help.” He looked over at Yurak and performed an exaggerated bow as he walked backwards. “Now I will be seeing you, your tall and weird purpleness. I must go and work on some new material for tonight and I-” Lance tripped backwards over a planter box and fell backwards.

The Galran’s gasped in shock and were about to run over to help him, but the Altean somehow managed to throw his hands backwards over the box and ended up doing a handstand. He then quickly stood back up and dusted himself off. He had a pleased grin on his face.

“Like that?” He asked.

The Galran’s let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, like that.” Said Shiro. “But are you okay?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. First rule of physical comedy; learn how to fall. Like seriously, I can throw myself down the stairs at the top of a tower and roll all the way down without breaking a bone. I’ll have something together for all you guys. Later.” He happily waved goodbye to the and went on his way.

After a few beats of silence Shiro let out a long, slow whistle. “Well, he is quite a character.”

“Yeah, he is…”

“... You know, I would have expected you to at least punch him for deliberately mispronouncing Verpzar so many times.” 

Yurak shrugged. “I just didn’t feel like starting a new war.”

“How noble of you.” He lightly nudged Yurak’s arm. “Come on. Zarkon is calling for you. He wants to speak with you before dinner.”

Yurak rolled his eyes. “It’s hours away.”

“I know, but do you really want to argue with him?”

Yurak sighed and followed Shiro back into the castle. On the way back Yurak happened to see Lance talking to a young Okari girl. They didn’t seem very amused by Lance’s antics and lightly punched his arm. They lightly hit Lance’s arm and the Altean dramatically fell to the ground and pretended to be dead. Even pulled a flower out of nowhere and laid it on his chest.

His stupid display made Yurak chuckle a little. The Altean was so over dramatic. His laugh drew the attention of Shiro who gave him a look. A look that Yurak did not like very much. It was one the captain of the guard’s had used on him plenty of times.

“Don’t you say anything.”

Shiro raised his hands. “I said nothing.” 

“You were thinking it. Stop it.”

“Stop thinking?”

“Yes.”

“But if I stopped thinking I would be just as smart as a certain Duke I know.”

“... I will stab you in the dick!”


	7. Soulmates (Incubus AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jebus fing chrizity christ. These Incubus au's are hecking long. Anyway, for your listening pleasure might I recommend listening to JubyPhonic's cover of Mind Brand? I'm gonna try and add some music recommendations in my notes from now on since I've been asked to do so in another fic. Since I don't really listen to much mainstream stuff I thought it would be fun :D
> 
> Anyway, if you guys have any ideas for any new au's or want to give a suggestion for where any of my other current au's could go, feel free to leave a comment. I love listening to ideas and this is pretty much just an ideas fic XD
> 
> Mind Brand (JubyPhonic english cover)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioS-3wCGu-g
> 
> Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance’s mama once told him when he himself was a child, that everyone and everything alive was linked to another through some form or another. This bond didn’t have to be positive. It could be negative, but you would always be linked to this person. Humans weren’t very intune to this feeling and often only focused on the positive. Hence why they had come up with the term soulmates, but only thought it applied to romance.

Humans were silly creatures. But demons were smarter. They could tell when they were meant to be linked to someone. It could be instant or take a few years, but they would always be able to tell. Especially when something tragic happens. When that happened the bonds would solidify and you would know. You would just know.

After Lance’s escape from the hospital he brought Keith back to Romelle’s apartment. He probably should have just left Keith outside of the hospital, but he didn’t want anyone to question why Lance had a very sick six year old in their arms. So Romelle’s place was the best place to be. They couldn’t stay very long since Romelle had just been killed. Maybe a week at most. If they were stretching it. The fire might make it hard to identify her body for a few days.

He took Keith into Romelle’s bedroom and laid the child out on the bed. He was still breathing and the drugs in his system were still working their magic. Keith would be able to sleep for a few more hours. Which was nice.

But now the Incubus was faced with a delimah. He wanted to keep Keith, but Keith had a bad heart. He could drop dead any day now. He needed a hospital with medicine to take care of him. But lance was selfish. He lightly ran his claw over the small boy’s chest and contemplated doing something very drastic.

He wanted to keep Keith. He was cute, but Keith wasn’t really his. Lance sighed. He needed to take Keith to a hospital. He’d do it the next day when the fire at the hospital was under control. He hated it, but Lance wanted what was best for him.

“Oh Keith…” He whispered. “You’re so adorable… I’d trade hearts with you if you would consent to it. I could keep it safe inside me and fix it right up for you. You would have the most healthy human heart in the world when I fixed it. You could borrow mine until yours is fixed. I don’t mind giving you my heart for a few years.”

Keith made a pained face and he slowly opened his eyes. “W-where am I?”

Lance smiled and gently squeezed his hand. “It’s okay Keith. This is my place. Something bad happened at the hospital so I brought you here.”

“... What happened?”

“... There was a fire. It was pretty bad. But don’t worry. I’ll take you back tomorrow when the fire has been all fixed.”

“Okay… Where’s my hippo?”

“Your hippo?”

“Yeah, my hippo…” Keith started to tear up. “D-did it burn up in the fire?”

Lance sighed and held Keith close. “It’s okay Keith. I’m sure your hippo is okay. We’ll find it when we go back. It will be okay.”

“P-promise?”

“Yep. Now you lie down and try to get some sleep.” Said Lance calmly. “I’m going to get some water and I’ll be right back.”

“O-okay…” Keith looked a little scared but settled into the bed quickly.

Lance smiled at him and went to get himself a shot of Vodka. It was clear like water so it was close enough. Along the way he stepped on a plush toy. He jumped a little in surprise and picked up a small, purple hippo. He must have grabbed it when he quickly bundled up Keith and took him away. This was good. He put it on the counter and quickly took a shot of Vodka to calm his nerves a little. He took a few deep breaths and headed back to the bedroom with the hippo. 

“Hey Keith. Look who I found.” He held the hippo out to Keith.

The boy’s eyes lit up. “You found them!” They took the hippo from Lance and grinned. “Thank you! Thank you so much!” Lance grinned and happily lied down next to the boy. Keith instantly snuggled up to Lance and grinned. “Thank you Lance. You’re the best.”

Lance happily ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. “You’re very welcome Keith. I would do anything for you. Are you in any pain?”

“A little.”

“Okay. I’ll fix it.” He cuddled Keith and gently sang. “Pain, pain, go away. We don’t want you here today. Pain, pain, go away.” Lance watched as Keith slowly fell asleep in his arms. Keith was such a well behaved child. He would really miss Keith when he had to give him back. He wanted to keep him. 

***

The next morning Lance woke up before Keith and went to check the news. The fire at the hospital was pretty intense. Five people died. The news was blaming someone lighting a cigarette near an oxygen tank. He changed the TV over to cartoons for Keith when he woke up and spent some time making breakfast for Keith. 

He made some pancakes and waited for Keith to wake up. About twenty minutes later Keith woke up and wandered out into the kitchen. He looked so adorable the way he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and held onto his hippo. Lance almost squealed with joy.

“Morning Keith. Did you sleep well?”

Keith nodded and sat at the table. “Pancakes?”

“Yep. All the pancakes you want.” Said Lance with a smile. He put the plate in front of Keith and poured some syrup onto them. He loved how much Keith’s eyes lit up. It was so cute. He happily sat across from Keith and watched him eat. 

It always fascinated him how humans could eat a variety of things where he could only eat a limited range of things. All things he could count on one hand. Sure he could pretend to eat other things, but he would need to vomit it later. It wasn’t fun, but if he wanted to catch food he would need to do it.

“So Keith, when you’ve finished eating we’ll get you cleaned up and take you back to the hospital. Okay?”

“... Do I have to go back?” Asked Keith. “I’m not allowed to do anything in the hospital… Just sit there and stay in bed all day. I want to go to the playroom with the other kids, but I’m not allowed to.”

“Because of your heart?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I have a bad heart… The only fun times is when Shiro visits me or you.”

“Shiro is your foster brother, right?” Lance already knew the answer, but he liked letting Keith talk about the things he liked. Shiro was apparently his favourite person. Which did annoy Lance a little, but he knew that feeling jealous of a nine year old was stupid.

Keith happily babbled on about Shiro and how he was the best big brother ever. How he was teaching him how to read and write better since he missed out on a lot last year because he was so sick. Lance could teach him how to do that. He could teach Keith how to do a lot of things.

“Lance?”

“Yeah honey?”

“Can I have a drink? I feel funny…”

“Sure.” Lance got up and looked through Romelle’s fridge. “Did you eat your pancakes too fast?”

“...”

“Keith?” Lance turned around just in time to see Kieth clutch his chest as he slumped over and fell out of his chair. “KEITH!” He quickly scooped up the small child in his arms and watched as pain contorted his face. Lance could feel Keith’s life force slowly leaving him. He was having a heart attack.

Lance froze. He couldn’t take him to the hospital without questions getting asked. He couldn’t call an ambulance either. He had to take drastic actions to save Keith’s life. He wasn’t going to let Keith die on him. He wasn’t going to let him leave him.

Without hesitating he pulled up Keith’s shirt and quickly felt around Keith’s back until he found where his ribs ended. Once he knew where they ended, Lance didn’t hesitate. He cut into Keith’s tiny body with surgical precision and reached inside his ribcage, careful not to puncture his tiny lung, and wrapped his fingers around his heart. He very carefully started to squeeze it and massage it. 

Keith whimpered and started crying. He was probably in a lot of pain right now, what with Lance’s hand in his chest. He soothingly ran his fingers through Keith’s hair and sang to him. “Pain, pain, go away. We don’t want you here today. Pain, pain, go away.” 

He continued to sing until Keith wasn’t crying in pain anymore. But now Lance had a pretty big problem. He needed to remove his hand from Keith’s chest, but he was scared that if he did then Keith’s heart would stop and he’d die. Keith sniffled and clutched at Lance’s arms. He was scared. Not that Lance could blame him. This wasn’t a very normal situation. The only way Lance could make this better would be if he did something even more drastic. For Keith, it would be worth it.

“Hey Keith?”

“Y-yeah?” Whimpered the boy.

“I… I need to ask you an important question… Do you want to go to sleep for a long, long time, or do you want to watch some cartoons with me?”

“I-I want to watch cartoons…”

A small smile made its way onto Lance’s face. His form very carefully shifted into its true Incubus form. In this form he let his tail reach out and take out a large knife from the knife block in the kitchen.

“I thought you would say that.” Said Lance quietly. “I love you Keith.” 

Without hesitation, Lance wrapped his hand around Keith’s little heart and ripped it out. He had to work quickly now. He laid Keith out on the floor and took the knife in his hand and plunged it into his chest. He was a lot stronger than a normal human so he very easily broke through his own ribs and lung to reach his own heart. He ripped out the organ and had a quick look at it. His heart had a blue hue to it. A little different compared to Keith’s small, red one.

Lance very carefully pushed the heart into Keith’s body and kept his fingers on the heart until he could feel it beating on its own. While that was happening, Lance picked up Keith’s heart and plopped it into his now vacant chest cavity. His own body would quickly heal and start to repair Keith’s small damaged heart. It would take a few years but it would happen. When he felt his heart beating inside Keith’s chest he very carefully removed his hand and wiped his thumb across the wound. It quickly healed.

Keith gasped for breath and coughed. His small body was shaking uncontrollably. Lance picked him up and held him close. “It’s okay Keith. Everything is fine. You’re okay now. I love you.”

The small boy continued to shake in fear and trauma. It broke Lance’s heart, but he just held the small boy closely until he calmed down. When Keith had stopped shaking he looked up at Lance with wide, fearful eyes.

“You’re not an angel, are you?”

Lance smiled sadly and shook his head. “No. I’m the opposite of an angel. I’m a demon. But I don’t hurt children. I hurt mean adults. So I decided to protect you. If I was mean I would have just let you die just now. But I didn’t. Did I?”

“... I guess so.”

“Yeah… Now we’re both kind of bloody. I think you should have a bath now. Don’t you?” He picked up Keith and smiled at him. “You’ll feel better after a nice warm bath.”

Keith nodded but had a confused look on his face. “... My chest doesn’t hurt anymore… What did you do Mr Lance demon?”

Lance chuckled a little and walked to the bathroom. “Well I am a special kind of demon. Not only can I take away pain I can do this special thing where I can swap organs with people. So I swapped your heart with mine.”

“But my heart is bad!” Said Keith in an alarmed tone. “You’ll die!”

Lance kisses his cheek. “Nope. My body is special. Over the next few years my body will slowly fix your heart so it’s perfectly healthy. I just need to keep myself healthy for it to work. Once your heart is better I can give it back to you.”

“... You’ll give it back to me?’

Lance nodded of course. “If you want your heart back I will give it back to you. Until then my heart will beat inside your chest and keep you safe.” He walked into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet while he went about running him a bath. “Once you’re all clean I can take you back to the hospital. Do you need any help getting clean?”

Keith shook his head. “I’m a big boy. I can do it.”

“Okay. Get undressed and get in the water.” Said Lance. He turned around to face the door. “I won’t turn around until you’re in the tub. He turned away and wrapped his wings around himself, encasing himself in darkness. “Not looking.” He said in a sing-song voice.

Keith giggled a little and Lance heard the sound of Keith’s feet hitting the tiles. Keith’s clothes hitting the floor. Keith’s little feet tapping across the floor. Keith making a small splash when he got into the bathtub.

“Okay.” Said the boy. “I’m in the tub.”

Lance looked over and smiled at him. “Good boy. Now, I’m going to clean your clothes. Call me if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

Lance picked up the clothes and walked out of the room. They were ruined. There was no way Lance could let Keith wear these. He tossed them and went to the lounge room after he washed his hands. Romelle, bless her kind soul, had been collecting clothes for donations. Most of them were children’s clothes too. He grabbed things he felt that would fit Keith and waited for the boy to be finished.

Keith called out for Lance once he was done and Lance helped him get dry and dressed in new clothes. Once he was dressed, Lance took Keith out to the lounge room and sat him on the couch. They needed to have a serious talk.

“Okay. How are you feeling Keith?” He asked.

The boy smiled and nodded. “Yeah! I feel a lot better! Better then I have ever felt before! Thank you!”

Lance grinned and ruffled his hair. “Aw, think nothing of it honey. I’d do anything for you. Now, we should get going. We need to get you back to the hospital before anyone freaks out too much.”

“No.”

“... No?” Lance was confused. “Why not?”

Keith nodded as he cuddled his hippo. “No. I don’t wanna go back to the hospital. I hate it.”

“What about your family?” Asked Lance. “Don’t you want to be with your parents again? And Shiro?”

The boy’s shoulders slumped and he shrugged. “I like Shiro, but adults don’t like me…”

“I like you.”

“I know… So can I stay with you? Please?”

Lance was shocked. Keith wanted to stay with him? He actually wanted to be with him? Keith was so precious and innocent. This perfect sweet child wanted to be with him. Him of all people. He wrapped his arms around Keith and hugged him tightly.

“Oh course! You can stay with me forever!”

Keith giggled and hugged back. “Yay! But you gotta promise that when you mean forever you mean forever. Okay? No take backs.”

Lance grinned and cuddled him more. “Of course I’m gonna stay with you forever. As long as you have my heart I’ll stay with you.”

“Then I’m not gonna give it back.” Said Keith with a grin. “Then we can stay together forever!”

Lance smiled and squished his cheeks. “Yep. But I’m a demon-”

“A good demon.”

“-and I can’t stay here any longer. If you’re going to stay with me you need to be happy with moving around a lot.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “I’m a foster kid. I move around all the time.”

“Fair enough. Let’s get packing.” 

The two of them started packing things into a duffle bag and a smaller backpack. Lance double checked both of the bags were filled with things they needed, like food and water for Keith, some clothes, money, and of course Keith’s hippo. When that was done, Lance happily picked up Keith and the two of them left Romelle’s apartment. Lance silently thanked the blond woman for taking care of him for so long. Without her, he never would have met his Keith.

***

The two of them went around from town to town and lived a relatively happy life. Getting food for Keith was easy. Lance was an excellent pickpocket and shoplifter. It wasn’t much but Lance was always able to get a nice enough place for them to stay for a few days before they had to move on. Things were good for them. Though there was one thing that the two of them did argue about. Lance’s eating habits.

Lance didn’t tell Keith what kind of demon he was or what he ate. He didn’t want to traumatise the poor boy. He didn’t even know when humans needed to start learning about sex. He assumed when Keith hit puberty, so telling the child he needed to eat seman to survive was kind of a bad thing. Plus he kind of did eat human hearts too after sex, somthing else Keith didn’t need to know.

“I need to go and get some food for myself!”

Keith threw a bag of potato chips at him. “We have food here!”

“I need demon food! Please Keith,” pleaded Lance. “I’ll only be gone for two hours at most. You’ll be safe in here. Just keep the doors locked and don’t let anyone in. Your dinner is still on the table.” He pointed to a microwave mac and cheese meal on the table. They were currently staying in a small motel off a highway. They had enough microwaveable meals for Keith to survive for several days, but Lance hadn’t eaten in a month. He was at his wits end. At this point he was going to jump the first man he saw.

Keith pouted and stamped his foot. “No! You have to stay!”

“I can’t stay!”

“Take me with you!”

Lance snapped. He picked Keith up and threw him on the bed, making him bounce before he crouched over him and growled. “Listen here. I need to eat. I haven’t been able to eat all month. You’ve been able to eat several times a day. It isn’t fair. I need food too. Do you want me to die? You want me to starve to death? Is that it?”

Keith froze for a moment before he started crying. Keith crying always snapped Lance out of whatever frenzy he had worked himself into. He sighed and held Keith close. He gently rocked the boy in his arms.

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have done that. You deserve better.” Said Lance quietly. “I-I’ll stay with you tonight. So please don’t cry…”

“Really? You’ll stay?” Sniffled Keith.

Lance’s stomach growled in protest. “... Yeah. I’ll stay with you. So don’t cry anymore…”

“...” Keith snuggled into Lance’s chest. The proximity to Keith at this time made Lance slightly uncomfortable. He needed food really badly and Keith wanted him to be there with him. He was so hungry. He hadn’t felt this hungry in decades. His stomach felt like it was eating itself. “... Are you really hungry?”

Lance sniffled a little. “Y-yeah… I need to get special demon food.”

“... Can I feed you?” Asked Keith. “I can feed you.”

Lance chuckled a little and patted his head. “Sorry Keith. You’re much, much too young to help feed me.”

Keith pouted at him. “Yes you can. You drink blood, right? You always come back with some blood on your face and claws, right? You can drink some of my blood.”

“...” Lance couldn’t help but smile and hug him. Keith was much too sweet and innocent. “Sorry Keith. The food I eat is very, very special. You can’t give me my special food. I need to go out and get it.”

“Then take me with you…”

“I can’t.” Said Lance quietly. “Keith, you could get hurt and I don’t want you to see me while I am eating… It isn’t pleasant.”

“... I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Keith, I’ll never leave you. I’ll always come back for you.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“... Okay. A-as long as you do come back I don’t mind…”

“I will come back. I promise.”

“Okay, go and get demon food.” Keith got off Lance’s lap but still looked upset.

“... I’ll be quick. I promise.” Lance quickly got up and made sure Keith was comfortable and the crappy black and white TV was on a child friendly movie. “I’ll be back around the time the movie finishes. Okay?”

“Okay…”

Lance knew Keith was just scared of being abandoned, but he needed to do this. He needed to eat and to do that he needed to leave Keith for a while. Lance quickly found a partner for the evening and was able to feed pretty well. Before he went back to Keith, Lance did buy him a cookie to make up for getting angry at him. 

***

Lance liked to think they had more good times than bad times. When they had enough money, Lance would always take Keith out to fun places. Especially when it was his birthday. They two of them were celebrating four happy years together. Keith got to pick what they were going to do that day and Keith made his decision. Keith wanted to go to the zoo. It was the only place he could see hippos up close.

“Look! Look! Look!” He called to Lance as he pointed to a hippo just sitting in the water. It was wiggling their ears. “They wiggle!”

Lance chuckled as he walked over to the excited boy. “Yes. Yes they do.” He stood behind Keith and gently patted his head as he leaned as far over the railing as his little body would let him. It was cute how excited he was getting over seeing something so deadly. He kind of wondered if Keith was drawn to him because he was as dangerous as a hippo? Though Lance was pretty damn sure he had a much higher body count than a hippo.

Once they were done with the hippos they went and looked at the nocturnal animals. They had gone during a weekday so there weren’t that many people around. The two of them were practically alone.

“Hey, this one looks just like you.” Keith pointed at a ghost bat stretching its wings and yawning. It was cute, but Lance didn’t feel like he was the same as a ghost bat. Just because they had similar wings.

“Oh really now?”

“Yep! They have wings like you! But yours are prettier.”

“Aw, you think my wings are pretty.” He picked Keith up and happily pointed out some smaller nocturnal animals scampering around the ground. Keith watched in awe at the creatures. It made Lance smile as Keith pointed them out and talked just that little too loudly. Just being around Keith made Lance’s heart flutter ever so slightly and sometimes it would tighten. Though if Lance was being honest he didn’t know if that was because Keith’s heart really was that sickly, or if these were the feelings of paternal love he had heard so much about.

***

Lance had started to give Keith some of the money he had managed to steal so he could buy his own clothes and food if he wanted to, but Keith had been an idiot and bought a packet of cigarettes. He found Keith leaning out of the window and smoking at fifteen years of age. Lance was pissed. Cigarettes were expensive and ruined the lungs of humans.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He growled as he snatched it out of Keith’s mouth and took the pack off the table. “You know how bad these things are? You want tar in your lungs? Throat cancer? Gangrene? How much were these? … $50? Fucking $50? I gave you $50 to buy food for yourself this week! Not this shit! Who the fuck gives a kid this shit anyway?”

Keith rolled his eyes. He was such a moody teenager lately. Must have been that teenage rebellion people on TV always bitched about. Lance didn’t understand it. He had taken care of Keith for almost as long as Keith had been alive. Did Keith not give a shit about that anymore?

“Hey, you’re the one that gave me money. You said I could buy anything I wanted with it.” Snapped Keith. “I bought cigarettes. Leave me the fuck alone.”

Lance couldn’t help but snarl. “So you want to use your money to buy shit that’ll ruin your life? Why not start buying meth or heroin? A bit of crack? If you are going to ruin yourself go for the real hard stuff!”

“Fuck you!” Snapped Keith. “I don’t have to deal with this! I’m practically an adult!” He stormed towards the door with Lance following him.

“Where are you going?”

“OUT!” He stormed out of the motel room and slammed the door behind him.

Lance growled and threw himself onto the mattress. Keith was being a selfish and moody asshole. He was just doing what was best for the boy. If he wanted something to do they could do something together. He didn’t have to go out and smoke. Did he not like colouring books anymore? Did he outgrow toys? When Keith came back Lance was going to have to punish him for acting out. He didn’t have to do that much when Keith was growing up because he was so well behaved.

His chest tightened a little and a feeling of anxiety washed over him. Because Keith had his heart and he had his, they were linked. He could tell where Keith was at all times and if he was in trouble. Like right now. They were currently living in the more run down parts of the city they were in. More than likely Keith was going to get mugged soon.

He sighed and slipped out of their room. It was starting to get dark. Still, Lance hummed and happily walked along the street as he slowly got closer and closer to Keith. He peeked around a corner and looked at two men pinning his Keith to a wall. One of them had a knife. They looked like they were mugging him. 

Keith looked so scared and it made Lance anxious. He sighed a little and walked down the alley and put on his best smile. “Hey guys.” He said with his usual flirtatious inflection. “What are you doing messing with some poor boy?”

The men glared at Lance for a moment and snapped at him. “Get lost. This has nothing to do with you.”

Lance resisted the urge to turn this into a bloodbath. He turned his charm up and decided to mesmerize them as best he could. He was an Incubus. He could easily enchant these people. “Come on guys. He’s just a kid. What did he do? Steal from you? I can easily pay back what he owes you.” 

The men seemed a little hesitant, which was understandable. They might have been straight. Straight people were usually hard to convince to fuck him. That and asexuals. Asexuals were the fucking worst. It was just easier for him to cut his losses with them.

Lance continued to smile at them as he slowly walked closer and tried to stare them in the eyes. The longer he prolonged eye contact the better. “Come on.” He said. “I’m sure adults can talk this out better than a simple child.”

When he was close enough, Lance’s eyes flashed red and he lunged at them. Without hesitation Lance punched his hand through the first man’s chest while his tail impaled the other. Both died pretty much immediately. After centuries of practice Lance knew just where to hit them to kill them.

He let their bodies slide off his arm and tail. Well, since they were already dead it was a waste no, want not situation. Lance Happily picked their body apart to get to their hearts. He was already starting on the next one when he remembered Keith was there.

He looked over at the teen who had slipped down to the ground. He looked pale as a sheet. Come to think of it he’s never told Keith what he ate before had he? Well now was as good a time as any, right. He smiled sweetly at the boy with blood and meat in his teeth.

“I guess I never told you what kind of demon I was did I?” He asked. Keith shook his head slowly while keeping his eyes firmly on Lance. “I’m an Incubus. The only things I can eat are human hearts and semen. The physical energy one can harvest from a woman having an orgasm works too.”

He stood up and wiped the blood off of his hands and onto the men’s clothes before he went through their pockets and robbed them. He found a small bag of whit powder and tossed it at Keith along with some money. The teen looked up at him in confusion.

Lance just smiled and shrugged. “If you want to ruin your life go ahead and snort that. Do whatever you feel like Keith. I’ve only ever looked after you and done what is best for you, but if you think you know better go ahead and leave me. If you think you can survive on your own you can. But the plan to leave tomorrow is still going to happen even if you are still sitting around with your thumb in your ass waiting for me to come back and set you straight I won't. You're an adult and you have very much decided to make the adult decision to leave me. Goodbye.”

Lance calmly left the alley and walked by to the motel and made sure all their things were packed. Half an hour later there was a knock at the door and Lance opened it up, smiling brightly at Keith. His head hung low as he stood in the doorway.

“So you came back huh?” He asked the teen.

Keith nodded. “Y-yes.”

“Why?”

“... I was an idiot. Y-You do protect me… Y-You saved my life again.” He said quietly. “Have you done that before? D-doing that kind of stuff to people?”

Lance chuckled and put his hand on Keith’s chest while gently tilting his chin up so they were facing each other. He couldn’t help but smile at the teenager. “Of course I have. As long as my heart is beating in your chest I will always know where you are. I’ll always know if you are in danger. When that happens I will swoop in and save you… And do you know why? Because I promised you that as long as you have my heart I’ll be with you. I’m going to be with you forever and ever and ever.”

For a moment there was fear behind Keith’s eyes, but that quickly fizzled out. His pretty grey eyes became lifeless and dull. When that happened Lance felt his breath catch in his throat as he realized something. Keith was his soulmate. He gave Keith the chance to leave him but he didn’t. He came right back to him. Keith always came back to him no matter what. Keith might not know it at this moment, or maybe he was starting to realize it, but they were soulmates. They would be bound together for the rest of their lives. For better or worse for the rest of their lives.

In that moment Lance almost wanted to pull Keith inside and lay a physical claim on the teens body and soul. Make it clear to everyone that Keith was his and his alone to do with as he pleased. Out of all the people he had fed off in the past he was sure that Keith would taste the best and make the cutest noises.

But he didn’t. Though he wanted to, he instinctively knew that Keith wasn’t food. He was just a child still. Something he couldn’t eat without feeling sick for days after. His food had to mature. The earliest he could even consider feeding from Keith was when he was in his early twenties at best. Nineteen if he matured faster than average.

He pulled Keith into a hug and dragged him back inside. “I’m glad you came home to me Keith. I love you so much right now you wouldn’t believe it. I love you Keith. You love me too right?”

“I…”

“... Keith?”

“...”

“Keith.”

“I-I love you too…”

“Good boy.” He kissed Keith’s cheek and went to the shitty motel kitchen. “Looks like you’re having microwaved spaghetti for dinner tonight. You good with that? I’ve already eaten tonight so we can spend the whole evening together.”

“O-Okay…”

Lance smiled lovingly at Keith and happily went about microwaving his food. He couldn’t be happier. Keith was his and his alone, even more so than before. In time Keith would come to realize the bond that they had was more powerful and perfect than anything in the mortal world. Lance would take care of Keith until he realized this was the case. That their bond, the thing that drew them together was love.


	8. Online (Android AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is pretty much set in the universe of Detroit; Beyond Human. You don't really need to know too much about the game to enjoy this AU, but a few references might pop up from the game in this AU if you care to look for them (or if I remember to put them in). Also, Adam is alive in this au, just suffers from burns, nerve damage and some blindness from an injury. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

A low buzzing resonated in his ears before he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a short person with messy hair staring at him with a pen in front of his face. “And… He’s online. Awesome. Hey Hunk, get over here.”

A larger man wearing a bandanna came over and held something up to his face. A small blue light came out of it and started scanning them. “Okay, Can you tell us your name and function.”

“I am Lance. The android sent by cyberlife.” Said Lance. “I am here as both a live in physiotherapist and a companion for Adam Wright.”

The shorter one grinned and clapped her hands. “Beautiful. Okay Lance. So I’m Pidge and this guy here is Hunk. We’re your technicians. Our personal work numbers are in your memory bank and will automatically ring us if something goes wrong with you. The L series is kind of a prototype.”

“L series?”

Hunk nodded and gently put his hand on his shoulder. “That’s right buddy. You’re Lance, part of the L series. Specifically you’re Lance 0076.”

“Oh cool. So where is Adam Wright?” Asked Lance.

“Just follow us.” Said Pidge. Lance followed the two of them to the next room where a tanned man was sitting in a chair. He had extensive burn scars over the left side of his body and it looked like he might be blind in his left eye too. “Hey Adam.” Said Pidge. “Lance is all up and ready to go.”

Adam looked up at them and slowly got up. He had a walking stick. “Good to meet you Lance. It was an ordeal to get you here.”

Lance frowned a little. “An ordeal?”

Hunk shrugged. “Adam is ex-airforce. He’s been fighting for some kind of at home care that the government owes him for three years now. Only way he could get you was if he agreed to you being a prototype.”

“Is that bad?”

“Not really.” Said Pidge. “Just means you can malfunction a little more than your typical android. We’re doing our best to weed out the bugs so you’re the best android you can be.”

“I see…” Lance smiled at Adam. “Hello Adam. I am very happy to meet you. I am Lance.”

“I know. It’s nice to meet you.”

Hunk grinned and handed over a card to Adam. “Here. If anything goes wrong or you need any help just give us a call. We’ll be back every two weeks to collect data and make any adjustments.”

“Have fun.” Said Pidge, and the two of them left, leaving Adam and Lance alone in the room.

Lance smiled happily as he looked around the room. It looked like they were actually in Adam’s home. So this was where he was going to be staying for the time being. It was nice. Adam walked past Lance and gestured for him to follow, which Lance did. They were on the second floor of a very large house. Lance felt rightly surprised by how big it was.

Adam gave him a quick tour, letting him know where everything was and a quick rundown of what he needed Lance to do. “Apart from physiotherapy I need help carrying things and some days It’s difficult to walk so I need help getting groceries some days.”

Lance nodded along. “All of that is within my programming. I’m more than happy to help.”

“That’s good.” He looked at Lance and frowned slightly. “You know… I think we should get you some different clothes.”

Lance looked down at what he was wearing. He was wearing the standard issue clothing a cyberlife android was always shipped in. “Are my clothes not suitable?”

“They are fine, but you would look better in more casual clothes.”

“Understood. I will dress appropriately.”

Adam chuckled a little at his formal talk and took him to his bedroom. He pointed to his closet and told him to wear anything he thought he could fit in. Lance chose a comfortable looking blue sweater and dark jeans.

“Is this appropriate?” He asked.

“You look fine.” Said Adam. “Oh, by the way my boyfriend is coming over. He’s a detective. He’ll probably bring his partner over for dinner. You two might get along.”

“Why might that be?”

“Because his partner is an android too.” Said Adam with a smile. “A different series to you, obviously, but he’s still an android. You might get along?”

Lance smiled happily. “I would like to meet another android too.”

***

At around nine in the evening there was a knock at the door and two men walked in. They walked into the lounge room and Lance immediately noticed that one of the men had a robotic arm. He was programmed to recognise cyberlife brand electronics. It looked like a XG-2773_light tactical arm. Law enforcement edition. It had all the usual enhancements a normal cyberlife prosthetic would have but had a weaponized mode. A medium powered, short range taser if he wasn’t mistaken.

He seemed a little surprised to see Lance, but went to hug Adam. “Hey Adam. I see your Android got here.”

“Yep. The techs were very helpful.” He gestured to Lance. “Go ahead and introduce yourself.”

Lance smiled and held his hand out to the man by Adam. “Hi. I’m Lance the android sent by cyberlife. I am a prototype physiotherapist and companion android. I’m happy to help Adam recover and keep him company. I like your arm.”

The man grinned and shook Lance’s hand. “Thanks. I’m Shiro. Adam’s boyfriend.” He gestured to the other man. “That’s my partner, Keith. He’s an android like you. He’s a K series.”

Lance’s eyes lit up as data about the K series was instantly drawn to his mind. They were designed for law enforcement and special ops in mind. They were quick to make the most logical decisions that would guarantee the smallest amount of human casualties. As a result they tended to get completely obliterated in the line of duty since they had little to no self preservation instincts programmed into them. 

Lance grinned and held his hand out to Keith. “Hi! I’m Lance. The android sent by-”

“I heard you the first time.” Said Keith. He shook Lance’s hand. “You’re really fresh out of the box huh? What’s your serial number?”

“0076.” Said Lance proudly. “What about you?”

“78902678934.”

“... Wow. They sure made a lot of the K series…”

“We were made to be relatively expendable.”

“Well sure, but still…” Lance laughed a little. “I kind of hope that my series will get to that one day. I mean, I’m just a prototype right now, but you never know.”

Keith shrugged. “Never know.” He looked over at Shiro. “Hey Shiro, I’m gonna be in the backyard while you guys are doing this. Come and get me when you’re ready to go home.”

“Will do.” 

Keith walked through the house and went to the backyard. Lance watched him leave and now wasn’t too sure what to do. So he stood by the wall and just let Adam and Shiro talk. After a few minutes Adam looked over at him.

“Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to stand there. You can go off and do something else while Shiro is here.” Said Adam. “When Shiro is here he can help me with any menial tasks I can’t do.”

Lance was a little surprised. “Oh okay. If I am needed please do not hesitate to call me if you need me. I also have basic medical knowledge in the case of an emergency too if an emergency arises.” 

“We’ll keep that in mind.” Said Shiro.

Lance nodded and left the room. He wasn’t really sure what to do or where to go around Adam’s house. He could go into standby mode until Adam needed him again? Then again he could go outside and see what Keith was doing.

The other android was sitting on a bench outside in the garden. Lance smiled and walked over to him and sat beside him. “Hi.”

“Hi? Don’t you need to be inside or something?” Asked Keith. “You’re a medical android.”

Lance shrugged. “True, but I’m still a prototype and Adam is a low risk patient. I’m sure there are a few more L series prototypes with a few more at risk patients. I just happened to be with Adam… How did you end up with Shiro? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Keith shrugged and crossed his arms. “Not really much to it. The force decided to bring on an android for the detective unit since we can do on the spot forensic work. I can Identify over 200 different bio organic and non bio organic samples.”

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Said Lance. “So you got all the forensic science and criminology upgrades?”

“Yeah. Shiro’s been really good about getting me upgrades.” Said Keith. “... Even though I kind of keep getting hit by cars and thrown off buildings…”

“... Shouldn’t he upgrade your self preservation instincts?”

“It interferes with some of my other programming so he can’t upgrade it any higher than it already is.”

“Ah, okay.” Lance looked around a little. It was the first time he was outside and he kind of liked it. Outside was nice. “... So, do you normally come with Shiro when he comes over?”

“Yeah. I have a charging port at Shiro’s place and at the department. Some days it’s hard to get back to the station so I charge at Shiro’s place… But I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other now. Shiro comes here a lot.”

Lance smiled. “That’ll be nice. I want to interact with as many people as possible. Though I will probably get to when I go out shopping for Adam.”

“Yeah, he’ll need you to go out and get him food… Have you been given a map?”

“I’m preprogrammed with a GPS.” Said Lance proudly. “Once Adam sets a location I’ll be able to find the grocery store straight away.”

Keith chuckled a little. “Everyone comes with a GPS. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“... Oh. W-well I think it’s pretty cool. S-so um, what is it like being a detective?”

Keith shrugged. “It’s okay. I like helping people. The anti-android movement is kind of shitty though.”

“... Anti-android?”

“They are humans that hate androids.” Informed Keith. “They want us dead for one reason or another. Mostly because we take jobs from humans. They fail to realise most androids take jobs that are extremely specialised or jobs people do not want to do. Like SWAT, or a nanny for the rich and entitled.”

“... Am I taking a job from a human?”

Keith shook his head. “No. You’re helping someone too injured to work, but not injured enough to get full time help. You’re a prototype, right? Ask your technicians about it if you’re worried.” 

Lance nodded a little. “Okay… I-I just want to help humans. That’s what I’m programmed to do.”

“All androids have to follow the three laws of robotics.”

“What are they?” Lance knew it was probably in his data somewhere, but he liked learning from other people and androids.

Keith held up one finger. “First rule; we cannot injure a human being, or through inaction allow a human being to come to harm.” He held up a second finger. “Second; we must obey the orders given by humans except when such orders would conflict with the first rule.” He held up a third finger. “We must protect our own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second rule.”

“Oh, that’s pretty interesting.”

“Yeah… Addendum 1, an android may not harm humanity or by inaction allow humanity to come to harm.”

“Why the addendum?”

Keith shrugged. “Humans are worried about an android uprising? I don’t care.”

Lance nodded a little and twiddled his thumbs. He wasn’t really sure what to talk about right now. “Um… So what do you normally do when Shiro and Adam are together?”

“Come out here and go on standby mode for hour intervals. If Shiro’s staying overnight he usually comes out and tells me so I can either make myself comfortable in a chair or I can go back to the precinct to charge.”

“Cool…” Lance looked up at the sky. The stars were pretty. “Those are cool.”

“What?”

“The stars.”

Keith looked up. “... Shiro says the stars are better outside of the city. They are brighter.”

“Really? That’s cool… I’d like to see them brighter.”

“That’s possible.” Said Keith. “Adam and Shiro are both into star gazing. Adam will probably teach you about constellations or take you outside the city to go stargazing when he feels up to it.”

Lance smiled and looked up at the stars. “That would be nice. Stars look so pretty already.”

“You really are fresh out of the box aren’t you?”

“I’ve been active for exactly eleven hours, forty five minutes, and ten seconds.”

“... Wow. You’re just a baby.”

“I’m not a baby.”

“Whatever you say Lance.” Keith’s watch started to beep and he stood up. “Time to go. Shiro and I need to go back to the precinct. We have reports to file away. Shiro was just stopping by for dinner with Adam.”

“Ah, okay. It was really nice to meet you Keith. I hope we can see each other again soon.”

“You too. Take care of Adam.” 

“I will bye-bye.” Keith smiled a little and walked back into the house to get Shiro. Lance couldn’t help but grin. He had met so many nice people today and a nice android from a well respected series. K series androids were so cool.


	9. Dummy thiccc (modern fantasy AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OwO what's this? Two chapters? In one day? And yes, that is three c's in thiccc because when I say dummy thicc. I mean thicccccc... I probably shouldn't have been a dumb ass and drank that extra coffee today. Insomnia + coffee = super insomnia. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After another day of hard work at the family health clinic, Lance was ready to head on home. The next day he had a P.T session with Keith. He normally wouldn’t do this, but Keith being an elf needed help from someone who knew their stuff and wouldn’t freak out about his ears. The inhouse P.T, his twin sister Rachel, would murder the poor elf boy. She was sure intense. At least with the first session to make sure she knew their boundaries.

Lance sighed a little as he walked down a street and his stomach started to growl. He needed some food. Preferably not a fast food place. Thankfully he first found a 24/7 convenience store. He could buy a few relatively healthy things. 

He walked into the store and looked over at the cashier. He was a tall man with long silver hair. His name tag said; Lotor. He nodded towards Lance. “Evening.”

“Evening.” Replied Lance. He quickly looked around the aisles for some food. He grabbed some instant ramen. Not the healthiest, but he had lots of fresh vegetables he could quickly chop up and add with it. Maybe boil an egg too?

He pulled back a large bowl of instant mi goreng and accidentally knocked some curry ramen onto the ground. He lightly cursed and went to pick it up when he saw something reaching out from under the shelf. It was small, spindly, and twig-like.

“AH!” Lance jumped back in shock grabbing his chest.

“Is something wrong sir?” Asked Lotor as he walked towards him.

“Ah, I um, I just saw something!” Cried Lance. “L-like some weird twig arm under the shelf!”

Lotor frowned. “So… you saw it huh?”

“... Eh?”

“I guess there is no other option…” He reached towards Lance with a menacing gaze. Lance closed his eyes and braced for impact because he was surely about to punch him or something. Instead Lotor quickly went about putting the ramen back on the shelf and handed Lance the ramen he wanted before quickly heading back behind the register.

Lance just kind of froze in shock. He almost fucking died. He needed to be less paranoid. He quickly went to the fridge and started looking for some juice. As he did so he heard Lotor greet a new customer. They went about their own shopping and Lance went about his. 

He turned around and stared in shock as he saw an all too familiar chubby elf in a black beanie. Keith was willing a basket with potato chips. “Keith?!”

The elf looked up at Lance in equal surprise. “Oh, Lance! How unexpected.”

“Yeah…” He looked down at the basket Keith was carrying. “Sea salt chips? Chicken? Sour cream and onion? Baked shrimp? Chili lime? Fried pickles with ranch? Roast chicken? Keith! You’re meant to be on a diet!”

“You said to stop eating french fries! These aren’t french fries and they come in so many different flavours!” Retorted Keith. “Look!” He held up a bag of cheddar and bacon chips. “Just look! A gift from the gods!”

“I thought you wanted to lose weight?”

“H-hey! By law elves have to eat potatoes on a regular basis!” Stated Keith. 

“Sounds fishy to me.”

“Like you know anything about elves anyway…” He looked over at Lotor. “Isn’t that right you no good dark elf!”

Lotor seemed surprised for a moment before he laughed and brushed his hair back, showing off his pointed elf ears that were similar to Keith’s. “I didn’t think I’d meet another elf here… But that’s right, I am a dark elf.” He stepped behind the counter and the two elves looked like they were about to square off.

Lance just wanted to buy his food and go home. “Um… Aren’t you both elves?” 

Keith scoffed. “Don’t you lump me in with this asshole!” He snapped. “Dark elves are monsters! They lend their powers to demons and poison the land! This man is nothing but a slutty, time-wasting, lying, sadistic, oni cock sucker!”

“Oh harsh words like that are unbecoming of a young elf man!” Snapped Lotor.

“Are you for real?”

“You’re nothing but a prideful pot bellied pig! Go back to the forest you chirping harpy! Go back to our world, you dough ball!”

“Ex-fucking-cuse me?!” Yelled Keith. “Say that again!” The two death glared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before Keith finally relented. “Going back to our world is more trouble than it’s worth right now… I’ll let it slide this time.”

Lotor huffed an annoyance. “Keeping my cool with you is for the best at the moment… I’m also a shelf stocker so I apologise for the inconvenience.” He went back behind the counter as Keith put his basket down.

“Ring this up.”

“Right away sir.”

Lance was shocked by how quickly the elves went from trying to murder each other to being civil with each other. Once Lotor was done scanning everything he smirked at Keith with a devilish grin.

“That will be twenty nine, ninety five. Sorry but we have no bags.”

Keith stared down at the large pile of potato chips he would have to carry home. He growled and glared at Lance. “You see? This is what these black-hearted fucks do. They live to cause misery for everyone around them.” He handed over his money to Lotor who quickly gave him Keith’s change in coins. Instead of putting them in his hands he dropped them from a height and they all bounced off the counter top and onto the floor. “... SON OF A WHORE!!!” Keith quickly got down on his knees to grab his coins.

“... Wasn’t that a bit mean?” Asked Lance.

Lotor frowned and gave Lace the side eye. “I almost forgot about you… You’re on his side, right?”

“Um not really, I-”

“Well if that’s the case…” A menacing aura started to surround Lotor.

Lance gulped and quickly explained how he was a nutritionist and was helping Keith lose weight. “So basically I just give Keith medical treatment!”

Lotor listened to him and slowly nodded. “I see… But you are still on Keith’s side. If you want to stay neutral, why don’t you help me solve my problem too?”

Lance gulped. He didn’t want to know what would happen if he said no. “I-I suspect your problems are body related?”

“Unfortunately yes…” Muttered Lotor. “Dark elves are black magic experts. When we use magic we wear special ornaments and clothes to increase our energy but… Well it’s better if you look…” There was a small flash of light and Lotor was no longer wearing his regular work clothes, he was wearing extremely tight leather fetish gear. Lance instantly noticed Lotor’s problem. Lotor was dummy thicc. Like hella dummy thicc. He bent over slightly and there was a loud rip as the leather completely ripped off his ass. There was another flash of light and Lotor was back in his uniform “... So yeah… That’s my problem.”

“I see…” Lance thanked whatever god there was out there that he could thank for letting him see a thwunk dark elve’s dummy thicc ass.

“So, as a result I’m lacking in magical power.” Said Lotor calmly. “And because of that I can only summon and control one shadow minion. It’s making work difficult. We can’t afford other employees…”

“Oh, was that the thing I saw before?”

Lotor nodded. “Yes. Which is why I need you to lend me your power! Help me recover my magical power and make my ass small again! So will you help me?”

“... Sure. You got a chair?” Lance was always ready to help someone when he could. Lotor grabbed a chair and sat down on it. He may or may not have hit Keith with the chair as he was still trying to find all his change.

Lotor sat on the chair and Lance kneeled in front of him. He gently held one of Lotor’s legs in his hand and started to massage his calf. He could instantly tell one thing that was wrong with Lotor. “... What are you doing human?” Asked Lotor.

“Your calves are extremely bloated.”

“Bloated?!”

“Standing for long periods of time has inhibited your circulation.” Said Lance. “You don’t exercise much do you?”

“Eh…”

“Because you don’t exercise enough you’ve seen a decline in muscle strength.” Said Lance. “The weakened muscle doesn’t have the strength to move blood, lymph fluid, and the like so it starts to swell. Lotor it’s not just your butt, bit your whole lower half is being neglected… In the meantime, I can do a makeshift treatment. Would be better if you lied down though…”

“I refuse to lie with you.”

“Not what I meant. Anyway… Here we go...” Lance very carefully placed his hands on Lotor’s calf, and squeezed.

“AHHHHHHH!!!”

“Oh sorry!” Said Lance quickly. “Your muscles are pretty stiff so like it might hurt…. I’ll massage it out.”

Lotor looked pissed. “You little shit.” He growled. “We agreed to make my butt smaller. Not leave me in extreme pain…” Lotor shoved the chair back and stomped towards Lance looking pissed as fuck. “You son of a whore. Dark elves are well versed in the art of physical totrure!”

“Oh shit!” Squeaked Lance.

Suddenly a look of confusion washed over Lotor’s face and he looked down at the leg Lance had squeezed. “...My leg feels light? How in the...”

Lance quickly started to apologize. “I’m sorry! I used the minimum amount of force! Some pain is bound to happen but it gets results.”

Lotor still seemed confused. “Is this some kind of black magic?”

“It’s a massage technique.”

"Will it make me thin?”

“It’ll reduce swelling.” Said Lance. “If possible I’d recommend a massage every day after a bath or after a workout. You could try doing some strength training too. It’s good for your muscles and will help prevent swelling. It’ll help boost your metabolism and burns fat, which will help shape your butt. You can also do calf raises and front lunges. 5-10 reps for 2-3 sets should work out well.” Lance quickly demonstrated these things for Lotor

“Huh, I can do these while I’m on break.” Said Lotor with a confident grin.

Lance smiled. “Yeah. Oh squats are good too. Correct form is important. You gotta tighten your glutes and drop your hips.”

“Like this?” As Lotor performed a squat in his work pants, Keith sat up, having finally found his last coin. He looked up just in time to get a face full of Lotor ripping a huge hole in his pants. He was wearing panties.

Keith suddenly burst out laughing “... Holy shit! Bubble butt wears purple lace panties! Holy fuck! It looks like a walrus trying to use dental floss!”

Lotor went red with embarrassment. “Well what about you? You pot belly pig! If you weren’t wearing sweatpants your ass would look like it’s eating boxers! Someone as fat as you shouldn’t be laughing at me!”

“At least my ass doesn’t have its own gravitational pull!”

“Yeah, the pull is around your stomach! Your belly bulges out like a croaking frog!”

“Fuck you my stomach is hot!”

“My ass is cute!”

“Hey human, don’t you prefer my body type?” Snapped Keith.

Lance jumped in shock. “Wait what?!”

“No way, having a fat ass is better than looking like a hippo! Human, which body type is superior?”

Lance just stood there, kind of shell shocked. He was a chubby chaser. He loved anyone and everyone with a bit of extra pudge. Dummy thicc booties, squishy bellies, triple D’s he loved them all. This was like asking if he liked left leg chicken drumsticks or right leg chicken drumsticks. They were the same thing.

“I um… You’re both handsome as you are.” He said. “Like, lots of people, guys and girls are into chubby people. And because of that each body type has their own best feature’s right? If you want to lose weight and meet your goals you… Wait, why are you two looking at me like that?”

The two elves were now whispering to each other and giving Lance the side eye. “You know… Now that he mentions it…” Muttered Keith.

“The way he was staring at us…” Muttered Lotor.

“No wait! Listen!” Whined Lance. “I’m not a pervert!”

Keith sighed and picked up his chips. “Whatever. I have my chips. I’m going home.”

“Okay, take care.” Said Lotor.

“... How the hell are you two on friendly terms again?!”


	10. Roast (Royal AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you out there have any au ideas you want me to have a poke at or a continuation of any other of the current au's feel free to drop a mention in the comments. I'd love to have a look! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The dinner feast thing on Altea was kind of interesting. A lot of the food was sweet and more vegetable based than the meat based diet Yurak was accustomed to. It was okay, but He was really craving more meat. He looked around at some of the other plates. The Altean’s were eating half the meat they were. So he couldn’t very well ask for more meat without it being rude.

No one at the table was talking to him. They were much too interested in gossiping and looking at Allura and Lotor. They were the ones getting married after all. Yurak was just there because his cousin, Lotor, asked him to be there.

After what felt like forever the food was finished and everyone was demanding entertainment. As if on cue, Lance walked into the room. He was walking kind of oddly and seemed a little out of breath. He was carrying his unicycle and took a moment to catch his breath.

“E-evening your majesties.” Said said as he cringed. “Members of the court and all others I…” He walked over to one of the tables and pointed at a goblet. “You mind?” They shook their head and Lance quickly drank from it. “Thanks… King Alfor! Oh benevolent king of the Alteans! I beseech thee!”

“What is it this time Lance?” Asked Alfor in an amused tone.

Lance held up the unicycle. “This! I need a better form of transportation! It’s good when I’m traveling down the halls of the castle, but that cobblestone outside?” He cringed and readjusted his pants. “Either give me more stable transportation or give me better padding.”

That joke seemed to land pretty well with the Alteans as some of them laughed or snickered at the jester’s dick joke. Lance grinned and straightened himself up. He was back to walking normally again. 

“But seriously. I’m happy to be back here again.” Said Lance. “Though we might wanna check a few of our esteemed guests. I think they are choking. They are turning purple.” That got some more laughs and Lance grinned. “I jest of course. It’s good to have the Galra back around Altean’s without us all trying to turn the other into living pin cushions.”

That got some more laughs and Lance did some over exaggerated bows, almost folding himself in half as he did so. The jokes were mildly witty, but Yurak was more interested in how flexible he was.

Lance grinned at Allura and reached out for her. “Ah, Allura, the beautiful flower of Altea. No longer single, but betrothed to another man… I am going to miss telling people to fuck off with my megaphone every heart day.” He turned and pointed to a bearded man at the far end of the table. “I’m talking to you Lord Yimar. I’m gonna miss telling you that Allura’s not gonna bonk you no matter how much land you own.” The court burst into laughter. “Allura already has huge-” Lance started to make gestures towards his chest before quickly going back to pointing and scolding. “-tracks of land.”

Yurak almost choked on his drink. Lance could get away with that? How the hell could he get away with this without King Alfor ordering his execution? This was amazing. Even Allura was laughing. Hell, Zarkon was cracking a smile.

Lance grinned and did a cartwheel. “But seriously folks, I’m super happy for Allura. I’ve known her since we were babies. Known Lotor a for about… Three years. We obviously met before the war. You seem like an okay guy. But then again Sir Raphelo seemed like a decent enough guy and we all know how that song and dance went.” He made some gestures that looked like he was getting strangled and everyone laughed.

Lance’s routine continued on for about half an hour. He went from doing comedy, where he was insulting every member of the court, to doing some juggling with some fancy looking vases while balancing on his unicycle. When he was done with his act, Lance bowed and curtsied to Alfor and the court in an over exaggerated way.

The Alteans seemed very happy with his performance. While Yurak wasn’t laughing out loud like the Altean’s he did see the humour in what Lance’s routine. Some of the things he said Yurak didn’t get since they were very Altean specific.

Everyone stuck around for a bit longer until everything was officially over. Then Yurak went to his room to relax. Though he was still kind of hungry. He wanted more meat. He could always kind the kitchen and ask if there were any bones left over and suck the marrow out of that?

With his mind made up, Yurak snuck out of his room and down to the kitchens. His Galran sense of smell made it easier for him to find the kitchens. It smelled like baking and sweets and something kind of savoury.

He peeked into the kitchen and saw an olkari girl sitting at a table eating some soup with Lance and a balmeran male. They looked like they were having dinner together or supper. Whatever meal they were eating.

“...” He awkwardly walked in.

The oikari girl was the first to notice him. “Heads up we got royalty.”

The others looked over and Lance grinned at him. “Hey! It’s the Duke! Hunk, Pidge, this is Yurak. Prince Lotor’s cousin.”

The balmeran grinned at him. “Nice to meet you. I’m Hunk. Head chef of these kitchens. Are you hungry or did you get a little lost?”

Yurak shrugged a little, suddenly nervous. “Kind of hungry… The dinner was nice and everything but… um… Not nearly enough meat.”

The balmaran seemed a little surprised. “Oh, did I not put enough meat on your plates? I read that Galra eat more meat than Altean’s so I tried adding more… Guess it wasn’t nearly enough?”

Yurak shook his head. “Sorry. We don’t eat that many vegetables.”

“Fair enough. I’ll get you something. Go and sit down.” He gestured to the table and went about getting Yurak some more meat.

The olkari girl, Pidge, looked up at him and nodded. “Sup? I’m the castle’s technician.”

“Hi… So what are you eating?”

Pidge looked down at their food. “Vegetable soup. Olkari are vegetarians.”

“Fair enough.”

Lance started to drum his hands on the table. “Did you like my act?” He asked. “You guys didn’t really laugh that much and I was worried you didn’t like it.”

Yurak shrugged. “It was fine. You just used references we don’t understand about Altean culture.”

“Ah, fair enough.” Lance frowned a little as he seemed to be rethinking his act.

Hunk put a plate of cut meat in front of Keith and smiled a little. “Here. Sorry, it’s just cold cuts at the moment. I was going to use most of it for breakfast sandwiches and stuff tomorrow.”

“No this is good. Thank you.” Keith happily ate it. Felt so nice to have a belly full of meat again. He looked over at Lance and pointed at him. “So, do you normally insult the court like that?”

“Yeah. It’s my job.” Said Lance.

Pidge snickered. “Yeah. On Altea the royal jester is kind of immune from treason and speaking badly about the royal family. Well, there are very specific rules he has to follow for it not to be treason. So Lance just roasts the fuck out of everyone. It’s awesome.”

“He’d be killed back on Diabazzel for doing that.” Said Keith. “We don’t really have jesters on my planet. We have magicians as our entertainment in court.”

“Really?” Asked Lance. “You should have said something. I would have done more magic… By the way you have something in your ear.”

Yurak frowned and lightly rubbed his ear. It wasn’t uncommon for him to get a bit of fluff or fuzz in his ears. “Did I get it?”

“Other ear.”

“...” Yurak rubbed his other ear. “Did I get it?”

Lance rolled his eyes and leaned over the table. “Let me get it…” He lightly touched Yurak’s ear and pulled back. In his hand was a flower. Which just confused the heck out of Yurak. It wasn’t a small one either. It was the size of Lance’s hand. The Altean just shook his head. “Honestly, you really should look after yourself more carefully.” He said as he quickly rolled and balled up the flower in his hands. He then held his hands up to his lips and blew several bubbles.

Yurak couldn’t help but watch in shock. “Altean magic…” He muttered.

Hunk chuckled and nudged Lance. “Don’t blow bubbles in here man. You know how I feel about that.”

“Sorry man. Couldn’t help it.”

Pidge loudly slurped down the last of her soup and looked over at Yurak. “So, how long are you staying here?”

Yurak shrugged. “Maybe a day or two after Lotor and Allura are married? I’m not sure. I’ll be happy to go back home soon. I honestly prefer living at home, no offence.”

“Everyone prefers their own home.” Said Pidge. “So no offence taken.”

Yurak nodded a little. “Okay.” 

He continued to eat while the trio kept talking. They all seemed to be excited about the wedding and were talking about all the food that there would have to be along with what technology they needed to properly broadcast the event to all Altean’s. It was interesting to listen to. Then he started yawning. Now Galran’s didn’t do a small little sleepy yawn. When they really opened their mouths wide, showing off all their fangs.

“Someone’s sleepy.” Teased Lance. “Come on, I’ll lead you back to your room.”

“And how do you know where my room is?”

“I was nosy and poked around when things were getting set up.” Said Lance. "Come on, your room is on my way back to my room anyway.”

Yurak wasn’t very happy about this but followed Lance back towards his room. The castle walls seemed to emit some strange and unnatural glow. It was weird. He didn’t really like it.

When they got to his room Lance tapped on the door. “And here we are. Your stop.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” The Altean smiled brightly at him. “If you ever want to hang out with me while you’re here I’m usually around the gardens or hanging around with Hunk and Pidge.”

“Um, thanks? I’m usually around Shiro…”

“Yeah, he’s pretty hot.”

Yurak’s hair stood on end as he felt his face heating up in embarrassment. “Y-you think Shiro is hot? Weren’t Galra your enemy like a year ago?”

Lance put his hand on his shoulder. “Honey, I may be a fool, but blind is not one of them. Is he seeing anyone?”

“H-he’s my littermate!” Squeaked Yurak. “Practically my brother! He’s already courting someone!”

“Oh… So are you single?”

Yurak’s hair puffed up even more. “What? So am I some second prize in the eyes of a fool?”

“Second for a fool but first for a jester.” Said Lance with a wink. “But seriously, if Shiro is your brother how come he isn’t a Duke?”

Yurak rolled his eyes and tried to flatten the fur out on his face and ears. “Shiro isn’t my littermate by blood. He looked after me while my mother was doing mandatory military service.”

Lance looked surprised. “Oh? You have mandatory military service on your planet?”

“Of course.” Said Yurak. “You don’t?”

“Nope. Well, goodnight.” He playfully patted Yurak’s head. “Nighty night purple fluffer. Get some beauty sleep. You need it.”

Yurak’s fur puffed up again as he tried to swat away Lance’s hand. “Stop that!”

Lance winked and stuck his tongue out. “Nah, You’re too much fun. Later Yurak. See you tomorrow.” The jester happily walked down the hallway leaving Yurak standing at his door.

“...” Yurak groaned and flattened his fur down some more. “I know you’re there Shiro.”

The soldier stepped out of the shadows and chuckled. “So, the jester thinks I’m hot?”

“Apparently so… He’s so embarrassing...”

Shiro shrugged and helped to flatten out the fur on Yurak’s ears. “Well, he is a strange man… He was totally flirting with you.”

“Was not!”

“Was to.”

“Nope. I’m going to bed. Night.” Yurak quickly ran into his room and flopped back on the bed. His fur immediately puffed back up.


	11. Little wolf (Incubus AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wants more depressed and fucked up stuff from this particular psychological incubus au? ... Well you're all gonna get it anyway! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith very carefully patted down the soil with his shovel. Lance’s last meal and been a little more resistant than the others. Lance had brought someone else back to their current residence, he fed from them, and just when Lance was about to feed from them they started fighting back.

Normally wouldn’t step in to help Lance since the Incubus was pretty well adapted at taking care of himself. Hell if he really wanted to he could use his tail to murder somone. He had done it before. Still, Keith worried about Lance and hid in the bathroom whenever Lance brought someone over. He hid in there with a shovel just in case he needed him. Like that night.

When he fought back Lance called out for help and Keith immediately ran out of the bathroom and cracked the guy in the head with the shovel as hard as he could. He wasn’t sure if he killed them or knocked them out. 

Either way, Lance threw his arms around Keith and couldn’t stop thanking him and praising him for helping him. He’d kiss his cheek and told him now much he loved him. How proud he was. How good Keith was. How Keith was the most amazing person ever. Then just as quickly as Lance was in his arms, he was back on the body and opening up his chest to get to his heart.

So now Keith was doing his job. Burying the lucky ones. The lucky ones… Keith wanted to be one of the lucky ones. Ever since he realized that Lance was a heart eating Incubus he couldn’t help but feel completely hollow inside. He was either an emergency food source for the demon or his pet. A little pet human. If Lance socialised with other demons when he was out they would probably laugh at Keith’s fate. He was just an emergency food pet for a sex hungry demon.

Granted Lance had never actually pushed Keith to have sex with him, even when he was hungry. Lance never demanded that Keith lie back and spread his legs for him, though he probably could have forced him to. Hell, Keith knew Lance could force him to. He was strong enough, but he never did. That didn’t mean they hadn’t had sex before. 

The first time they had sex Keith was nineteen and the two of them were in the middle of nowhere on the road. Lance was going on two months without eating. The demon was curled up in the back seat of the car quietly sobbing and asking if there was a truck stop close by so he could eat. Keith ended up pulling over and got into the backseat with Lance. 

Keith thought he was going to die, but he didn’t, and in all honesty it wasn’t that bad. Though that was probably because he thought that Lance was going to end up murdering him when they were done. Instead Lance held him and cried. It was so confusing. Lance had fucked hundreds of people before him. 

“It’s because you know I’m an Incubus and you still fed me.” Lance had said. It looked like he was serious too. Keith didn’t question it. He was just happy that Lance wasn’t angry at him or something. Lance was hard to understand sometimes. 

Keith sighed and continued to pack away the dirt. The luckys one got to rest. They didn’t have to keep living on in the confusing hell that he did. He felt sick. 

_“Little wolf…”_ Whispered a small voice. _“Hey! Hey little wolf! Over here!”_

Keith sighed and used his shovel to lift up a bush. Under the bush was the rotting corpse of a dead bird. Keith didn’t know if his mind had finally snapped and he had gone crazy, or if this was because he had an incubus heart beating in his chest, but sometimes dead things would talk to him. They weren’t particularly malicious, but Lance did advice not to take the words of dead things too seriously.

“What do you want?” Asked Keith quietly.

_“Are you still with the hunter, little wolf?”_ They asked. 

“Yeah.” The dead things always called him little wolf and Lance was hunter. It was a little unnerving, but Keith was used to these kinds of things now. “Things are fine now.”

_“You’re lying little wolf.”_ Said the dead bird. _“We know everything that is dead. You told the hunter you would kill them. But you didn’t you hurt them, but you didn’t kill.”_

Keith nervously swallowed. “What are you talking about? I… I’ve always done what I’m told. I-I’m a good boy… I’m good for Lance.”

_“Lies. The little wolf is a lying liar who lies.... The hunter is going to find out soon. They will find out what you did and they will punish you. You know what they are capable of. Do you really think they will just scold you and leave it at that? No. They will abandon you.”_

“... No.”

_“They will. They will. They will.”_ Gleefully chirped the dead creature. _“The old dog is still alive and the hunter will cast you aside. Abandon you and leave you for dead in this cruel-”_ Keith stomped on the skeleton and crushed it. He didn’t want it to tell him how Lance was going to leave him for being bad. 

Keith wasn’t bad. He just didn’t want Shiro to die just because Lance told him to. Shiro just wanted what was best for him and he felt that it might have been the same as Lance? They just wanted what was best for him. He wanted them both to be happy. It would be easier if Shiro just stopped trying to find him. He hoped that he would stop. He had left him a note for him after all.

He sighed and ended up walking back inside their tiny little motel. Lance was already dressed back in his usual dark blue hoodie that hung around his thighs and booty shorts so small they might as well be considered underwear. 

The demon smiled lovingly up at Keith and reached out for him. Keith easily fell into the familiar comfort of the demon’s arms. The demon hummed happily and walked backwards until they both fell backwards onto the cheap motel bed.

Lance looked up at him and made very pleased crooning noises. He ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. “You’re so good to me.” He said softly. “You’re such a good boy for me. I love you Keith. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Parroted Keith. His words of love were relatively hollow. He cared for Lance and didn’t want anything bad to happen to him, but he felt trapped by him. Lance had trapped him and there was no real way of escaping. All he could do was try and mirror the kind of love Lance was showing him.

The demon giggled and put his hands on Keith’s face, gently squeezing his cheeks. “Yay, you love me.” He gently rubbed his thumbs along his cheek bones and looked up at him with adoration. “I love your eyes. They are pretty. Like doll eyes.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Pretty doll eyes.” He sat up and gently kissed Keith’s cheek. “Everything about you is pretty and adorable. Things I just love. I love you. I love you so much… You were so good to me today, we can go out and eat dinner somewhere tasty. There was a lovely looking diner we can go to. I’m sure you will like it. Let’s go there and get you dinner. You’ll like that, right?”

Keith smiled and nodded. “Sounds perfect… Can I have ice cream?”

“Yes you can, but no more than two scoops. You get a tummy ache when you eat too much ice cream.”

***

They got to the diner and sat in a booth. Keith couldn’t really read what was on the menu, even though he did try. Some words he did recognize, but that was because he had seen them written on packaged food. So he knew words like chicken, pizza, and burger, but other words were difficult for him. Most of the time he would just ask Lance for something, or the closest thing to it.

Lance was more than happy to order for the both of them when the waitress came around. He ordered Keith a large burger with chips and extra bacon and a large iced tea. He got water for himself. Keith knew that Lance didn’t normally eat or drink human foods. They would make him sick, but he was okay with having water.

When Keith got his food he ate quickly. He didn’t really like being outside much with other people. He preferred to be around Lance. It was kind of silly really. He was kind of scared of other people. He didn’t really have conversations with people. Lance was the one that did the talking.

He tried not to look at Lance while he ate. Lance seemed to like watching him eat. It looked like he was fascinated with the way he was eating. Like he didn’t know how Keith could eat what he did. When he was younger it was kind of funny, but now it was kind of creepy. He felt like he was an animal on display for Lance. 

He quickly finished his food and drink. Lance hadn’t even drank a third of his water. Lance smiled brightly at him. “Want some ice cream? They have vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.”

“S-strawberry… Please.” He said quietly. Keith started scrunching up his napkin.

Lance reached over and gently held his hand. “Cup or cone?”

“Cup… Please. Can I have two scoops?”

Lance grinned and gently squeezed his hand. “I’ll go and get you that. Then we can go back to our room.” He got up and went to talk to the woman behind the diner.

Keith sighed quietly and stared down at the table. He wondered what his life would have been like if Lance didn’t take him from the hospital. Realistically he might be dead, but maybe he could have survived the fire and have gotten a new heart? He might still be living with Shiro’s family.

Thinking about Shiro made him sad. He hoped he didn’t hit Shiro too hard. If he knew how to look up the news on a computer or his phone he would see if there was anything about him out there. He didn’t even have a phone.

Lance came over and handed the ice cream out to Keith. “Here you go. Let’s head back.”

Keith nodded and followed Lance out of the diner and down back to their motel. He quietly ate his ice cream along the way. It was kind of hard and melted a little too quickly. It was kind of disappointing. 

When they got back to their room Lance slipped behind him and loosely wrapped his arms around Keith’s torso. The demon hummed softly as he lightly tugged at his shirt and rested his chin againstKeith’s shoulder.

“Keith…” He purred softly. “Keeeeeeeeith.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” He asked. “You’ve been very quiet lately. More so than normal… Are you still sulking because of Shiro?” When Keith said nothing, Lance tightened his grip on Keith’s clothes a little. “He was going to seperate us. I don’t know if I can live if I’m separated from you… And who knows what would happen to you if he took you away? You’d be so alone… All alone without me… I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I… I don’t want you to be alone either.” Said Keith quietly. 

Lance made a small pleased sound. “I won’t. I won’t ever leave you Keith. You’ll never be alone as long as you stay with me. You want to stay with me, right?”

“...” Keith nodded and placed his free hand on one of Lance’s. “I do want to stay with you. I really do… Please stay with me…”

“I will Keith. I always will. I’ll stay with you forever… Let’s go to bed. Okay?”

***

Later that night when Keith was peacefully asleep, Lance slipped out of the bed and headed outside to enjoy the moon. He hummed at little. The moon was waxing and they were clouds rolling in. There was probably going to be rain tomorrow. Perfect snuggle weather.

_“You’re only going to hurt him in the end.”_ Whispered a voice from the space under the stairs leading up to their door. It was a dead, stray cat. It had been there a while too. It was just a skull. Lance had noticed it when they first entered the room, but as long as they didn’t bother Keith he didn’t mind.

“Shut up. I’m not going to hurt Keith. I love him. He’s my most beloved human.” Said Lance calmly. “I’m never going to let anyone hurt him. I’m going to keep him safe…”

_“Even if he tries to leave you again?”_

“He was a dumb teenager back then.” Said Lance. “Besides if he tries to run away from me again… I can just take away his legs. It would be a shame though. His legs are useful and pretty.” He sighed. “If we can eventually find a place where we can live together peacefully, like a secret bunker, I’ll hide him away from the rest of the world… Make our own little world together where no one will find us or hurt us.”

_“And they say humans are crazy.”_

Lance chuckled. “Yeah, I guess that’s true… But we technically have five more years together until he can ask for his heart back at the latest.” He grinned. “He hasn’t asked for it back yet. After twenty years it will be too late. I’d just be giving my love another incubus heart.”

_“You’re a wicked creature hunter. You do nothing but hurt the little wolf. You’re driving him closer and closer to us. We will welcome the little wolf with open arms, like we do with all humans.”_

Lance rolled his eyes and tapped his foot against the step. “Tell me something I don’t know Reaper.”

_“The little wolf couldn’t kill the old dog.”_ Whispered the cat skull. _“The little wolf couldn’t bring himself to kill him. We welcome all who return to dust and dirt, but they are not among our numbers.”_

Lance scoffed. “I said tell me something I don’t know. When Keith kills for me he is calm and his eyes are completely blank. Keith was scared and shaking horribly when he went into the car.” He sighed and sat on the step. In the dead of night he could see the creeping shapes of lesser demons. These creatures were always drawn to the scent of blood and stronger demons. Naturally they were both curious and cautious of him. Lance picked up a rock and threw it at them just to watch them scatter. 

_“Why keep the little wolf if he isn’t obedient? Throw him away. Either kill him or let him live on his own.”_

“I will do neither.” Said Lance as calmly as ever. “Keith is mine to do with as I please. Keith is my most precious one. I plan on keeping him forever. If it came down to it and I was no longer able to keep Keith for whatever reason I’m not above a murder suicide… Though it’s very difficult for a thing like me to die… I’d need to be drowned in acid.”

_“Little wolves need to be set free.”_

“Do you really think you should be giving relationship advice?” Asked Lance. “You’re the manifestation of death given sentience. You’re all about letting go and moving on while accepting the inevitable.” 

_“It does not mean I am wrong.”_

Lance rolled his eyes and stood up, stretching. “Well, good talk. I’m going to go inside and contemplate cutting off Keith’s legs.”

Before they could say anything else Lance walked inside and crawled back into bed with Keith. He loved how the man would instinctively curl up into him for comfort. Lance smiled and lightly ghosted his fingers over Keith’s thighs. They were pretty, soft, and white. If he had to he could remove just above the knee on both legs. If he tried to hit him and push him away, he could take his arms just below his shoulder. If he tried to talk back back or bite him he could take out his tongue and remove his teeth. Break his spine so he’d stop struggling… 

He almost chuckled at the silly thought of it all. He’d be just like all the other Incubi that liked to play with humans if he did that. Besides if he did that Keith would be no better than a living sex doll. Some demons would love that idea, but Lance liked being held by his partners. He didn’t want some sex toy he could roll out and use any time he pleased. He just wanted Keith as he was.

He leaned forward and gently kissed Keith’s forehead. Beautiful, perfect Keith. He loved him. He loved him so much. He loved Keith and would stay with him forever. Keith was always going to be his and his alone. Sure he made mistakes, but he was human. Humans made mistakes. But if Keith made another mistake like that he would have to punish Keith severely for it.


	12. Sauna hell (Modern fantasy AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, time for some more fluff after the crap I put down with the Incubus au. Remember, feel free to leave au ideas or ideas for where some of the aus in this collection can go if you feel like it. It's fun to explore these ideas :D

Keith continued to work with Lance to try and improve his weight. Even though the human kept trying to get him to stop eating french fries and potatoes in general. If potatoes didn’t want to be eaten they wouldn’t be made out of food. But that was just his opinion.

He had just finished up his appointment with Lance that ended with Lance giving him a massage to help with his sore muscles. Around the end of his massage one of the other people working at the clinic walked in. A tall, skinny man that was at least a head taller than Lance walked in grinning.

“Sorry Lance, didn’t realize you were with a client.” He said.

“We were just finishing.” Said Lance and he stood back. “Keith, this is my big brother Marco. He does most out of clinic bookings and stuff. Like if we have enough demand for using a pool he organises it with the local public pool and stuff.”

Keith nodded as he readjusted his beanie. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Said Marco before he turned his attention back to Lance. “So, remember how some of our older clients had asked about going to saunas and stuff? Well I talked to the place and they are willing to trial this out for a month. Even willing to have the place opened up late since most of our clients have regular nine to five jobs.”

“Oh cool! I’ve been asking mama about doing something with them for ages.” Said Lance.

Keith frowned. “What’s so good about saunas?”

“Well firstly they help increase your circulation.” Said Marco. “The increased blood flow also helps reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease. Your metabolism also speeds up and it helps you lose weight. Sweating also helps flush toxins from your body, and most importantly, it helps you relax.”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yep they… Keith, would you be interested in going to one?”

The elf shrugged. “I haven’t been to a sauna before. Hot springs, yes, but not a sauna.”

“Well it’s a traditional Swedish sauna.” Said Marco. “You just need to read the rules on sauna edicate before you go in. The people there are nice… But there is one catch.”

“Oh no…” Muttered Lance. “Marco, don’t.”

His older brother smirked. “There is a rumour…”

“Don’t.”

“They say when the clock strikes midnight a huge troll enters the sauna and hunts down anyone and eats them!”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “What a weird rumour.”

***

The next night Keith found himself outside the Mountain Avens Swedish sauna. He asked Lance if he was going to go with him, but the human just blushed and declined. Something about him being too immature to go to one of those places. Though he might drop by later to see how everything went.

Keith didn’t get the whole immature thing, but he didn’t mind. He went inside, talked to the lady at reception and they gave him a towel after getting him to read the rules and edicate for their sauna. Keith went to the change rooms, stripped naked as per the rules, and he walked out to the baths.

He got into the water and sighed contently. It was nice and warm and he could just feel any and all tension in his body melting away. And that was before he even got into the sauna. There was a lot of steam in the room so Keith didn’t notice he wasn’t alone until he heard a splash.

Keith jumped a little and squinted his eyes until he recognised a very familiar dark-elf. “Fat ass!”

Lotor jumped in shock. “Pot belly!”

“The fuck are you doing here?”

“I came here to relax!” Snapped Lotor. “I heard going to saunas help you lose weight… Which is why you’re here too aren’t you?”

“... Maybe.” Keith huffed and got out of the water. “Whatever I just came here to use the sauna.”

“Hey! I came here to use the sauna!”

“What? You need to steam that fat ass of yours?”

“Like you need to steam your potato belly!”

“No way, I am not going to share the sauna with you.” Snapped Keith. “I came here to relax. I can’t relax if you’re here too!”

“Fuck you, I was here first.”

“Well fuck you, Lance recommended that I come here.”

“He recommended I come here too!”

Keith froze. “Wait… Are you seeing Lance for weight loss treatment too?”

“Yes. Why? I don’t see why the human should just be helping you.”

Keith felt betrayed by this, but he didn’t know why. He’d have a talk with Lance about helping evil dark-elves later. For now he had to get this dark-elf out of the sauna. If there was one thing that all elves were deep down at heart, it was competitive.

“Sauna competition.” Said Keith. “Whoever stays in the sauna the longest wins and the loser has to leave and never come back.”

“Deal.”

The two quickly went to find the sauna, but checked the temperature dial outside before they opened the door. It was 120°C or 248°F. Both elves dropped their jaws in horror. This wasn’t a sauna, it was the gateway to hell. 

“What kind of monster would withstand that kind of torture?” Whined Keith.

“H-how is this actually good for your body?” Asked Lotor.

Keith glared at Lotor. “Hey! Lance has our best interests at heart! H-he wouldn’t tell us to go here if this was bad for us, right? Just suck it up and get in there!” Keith pulled open the door and blasted Lotor with a wave of hot steam.

“Mother fucker!” Cried Lotor as he tried to hide behind his towel.

“Wow, you two are really loud…” Grumbled a deep voice from deep inside the sauna. The two elves froze and looked into the room. Hunched over on one of the benches was a large looking man. His hair was black but he had a shock of white hair sticking to his forehead. Poking out of his forehead were two small horns. 

“Ah shit, it’s a troll!” Cried Lotor.

The troll chuckled a little as he wiped some sweat from his brow. “I prefer oni. You know, I didn’t expect to meet any elves here. I don’t mind you being loud, but can you close the door, you’re letting the cold in.”

Keith frowned and squinted his eyes. “... Shiro?”

“... Keith?”

“Shiro!” Keith happily walked into the sauna and almost died of instant heat stroke. Shiro quickly grabbed him, put Keith’s towel down on the bench and sat Keith on it. “Thanks…”

“No problem. You coming in too elf boy?” Shiro asked Lotor.

Lotor sighed and also walked into the sauna, closing the door behind them. Both elves looked like they were about to die. “Why is it so damn hot in here?” Whined Lotor.

Shiro chuckled. “Sorry about that. Us oni like it hot. Anyway, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you Keith, how are you? Who is your friend?”

“He’s not my friend!” Snapped Keith. “That’s Lotor. A dark-elf… and an asshole.”

Lotor rolled his eyes and wiped some sweat off his face. “Shut up love handles.”

“Wide load.”

Shiro smiled and shook his head. “Ah, some things never change… Anyway, it seems a little excessive to see two elves come to this world just to use a sauna.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “I could say the same about you. You’re here so much that there’s a rumour going around about you chasing and eating people.”

“What? Really?”

Lotor leaned back and started to fan himself. “So hot… Are oni typically known for their love of saunas?”

At that Shiro got a sheepish look on his face. “Oh I um… We’re actually pretty well known for our love of alcohol… Which is kind of why I am here…” He sat up straight and showed off his developing beer belly. “The alcohol here is so good. I always go overboard. Humans make the best kinds of drinks. Beer, vodka, sake, tequila, it’s all too delicious… And it’s not difficult to come by. It’s not like I have to brew it for months just to have a small bottle at a festival.”

“I totally get it.” Said Keith. “Humans make the best stuff.”

“You two have no self control.” Muttered Lotor.

“Shut up asshole!” Snapped Keith.

***

After about twenty minutes Shiro had to carry the heat stroked elves out of the sauna and the group went to get drinks. The sauna for some reason had an open bar and Shiro might have been chugging the largest alcoholic drink he could get while Lotor chugged a jug of water and Keith chugged a jug of sprite.

It was at that moment when Lance decided to walk in. He was a little surprised to see Shiro. “Hey guys. Glad you came. Who is your friend?”

Shiro gave the elves a questioning look. Keith shrugged. “Shiro, this is Lance. He’s the human helping me and bubble butt lose weight… Maybe he can help you too?” He looked up at Lance. “So this is Shiro. He’s a friend of mine from my world. He’s an oni.”

Lance looked surprised for a moment before he smiled at Shiro. “Sure. What can I help you with?”

Shiro leaned back in his chair and put his hand on his stomach. “I um… I kind of drink just a bit too much…”

“Ah, the classic beer belly.” He handed Shiro a card. “Here. Make an appointment with me and I’ll help you get started.”

“Thanks. Why don’t you sit down and have a drink with us?” Asked Shiro. 

Lance smiled and happily sat down with them. “Sure. It’s always good to stay hydrated after using a sauna.”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “Yep. How about a round of beers to celebrate?”

“... How about water instead?” Suggested Lance.


	13. Silent song (POTO AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A phantom of the opera au with a modern twist. Hope you all enjoy this one. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Forgot to add the song that Keith plays in this! I am a fool!  
> Fallen Angel;  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuLMDvoshrk  
> Fallen Angel (piano cover);  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL_zzd9v5D0

Ever since Keith was young he loved singing. Music was his life. He learned how to play the piano at a young age and worked hard to name notes by ear. He could name and play every major and minor scale. He could switch between pentatonic and heptatonic scales as easily as breathing. Keith was practically a musical prodigy. He was destined for greatness… however there was one tiny thing stopping him in his tracks...

Keith had crippling social anxiety to the point he had to learn ASL to communicate. Even then his hands shook like he had a problem with his nervous system. The only people he could actually talk to was his step brother, Shiro, and his husband, Adam. And even then he only spoke in sentence fragments to Adam.

Just, talking to people scared the crap out of Keith. Even looking them in the eye made him feel like fainting. Which meant things were pretty difficult for him when it came to finding a job he wanted or could actually do. As luck would have it, Shiro co-owned a local theater with Adam and was more than willing to give Keith a job as a janitor.

Keith was eternally grateful to the two of them. Keith loved music, and due to his anxiety, this was the closest he could get to going on stage and performing. He also enjoyed his job. No one really talked to him if he had a day shift, which hardly ever happened, and if they did talk to him it was usually to tell him the bathrooms were a mess.

He liked the night shifts the best. When he locked everyone out he would happily clean the place and quietly sing whatever song he was listening to as he worked. Either over the P.A system or with his headphones on. It was the only time he felt comfortable using his own voice. He also liked being able to go through all the costumes they had in storage.

At the moment the theater was putting on a Mary Poppins musical and lots of actors were staying behind to practice lines and what not. Which meant Keith couldn’t start cleaning until they were gone. Kind of annoying, but Keith didn’t mind. The theatre drama was interesting to watch.

At the moment, the director, a man named Coran, was trying to make sure that the lead actors and actresses were able to get even matinee and evening performances. It seemed like Allura and Nyma were taking on the rolls of Mary Poppins while Lotor and Lance were playing Bert. For whatever reason this seemed to be some big issue.

He just sighed and quietly sat in the back seats while they were finishing up. This might take a while. As he patiently waited he heard the familiar footsteps of a certain sound and light engineer walking towards him. This person went by the monicore of Pidge. They were totally rocking that androgenous nerdy look. They were one of the few people he could kind of sign to without everything being too shaky.

“Sup Keith.” They greeted as they sat in the chair next to him. “Waiting to start?”

Keith nodded and signed to her. _Yes. I want to be home before ten._

It took a moment for them to read his signs with his shaking hands. “Yeah. Fair enough. It’s gonna be like this for a week or two… You excited to hear Allura sing again?”

Once again Keith nodded. _Yes. She is an amazing alto-soprano. She was good in Chicago last year. Bought the DVD just to hear her sing her part in Cell Block Tango._

Pidge nodded in agreement. “Yeah, she had a bit roll, but she was very good at it… Anyway, you wanna grab lunch tomorrow?”

Keith quickly shook his head. Pidge was nice and everything and he did like being able to talk to them a small amount, but there was no way in hell they were going to go out somewhere and eat with them. The last time he went out to eat with anyone it was with Shiro, and even then Keith spent most of the night locked in the bathroom and only came out when Shiro texted that his food had been put in a to go box.

Pidge just shrugged. “Okay. Maybe some other time?” Keith nodded a little, but didn’t didn’t really know what else to say to them. The two sat in silence for a bit before they spoke up again. “Some new actors this time. You want me to tell you about them?”

Keith glanced up at the lead actors. Nyma and Allura were already packing up and getting ready to go. Those two were always getting lead rolls or female rolls with large singing parts. Lotor had a good baritone to tenor range, and Lance, well he’d mainly sung back up ranging from baritone to alto. This was the first time he was going to be taking a lead roll. 

He shook his head and signed to Pidge. _I might be quiet, but I know more than you think. Ear to the wall and all that._

“Fair enough.” They stood up and stretched. “Well, I’m gonna tell Coran that Hunk and I are done for the evening. Shouldn’t be too long until everyone’s cleared out. Night Keith. Have fun cleaning.”

Keith nodded. _Night Pidge._

Since it looked like everyone was leaving, Keith went to the supply closet in the backstage area and started to get his supplies ready. There were a few people still packing away their own stuff. Some gave a courteous nod towards the janitor while others just ignored him. Keith didn’t mind.

He just put down a “caution wet floor” sign and got to work cleaning the backstage area. After about twenty minutes Keith assumed everyone was gone and put his earbuds in. He felt like something a little boppy. Thankfully he had a few playlists. He was about to hit play when he saw a streak of blue dash past him, slip on the wet floor and slid into the wall.

Keith jumped in shock and went to quickly help them up. It was that new lead, Lance. The young man groaned as he slowly got to his feet. “Ow… I should have watched where I was going huh?”

Keith nodded in agreement and quickly started to sign to him. _Yeah. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need an ice pack or something?_

Lance stared at Keith in confusion and Keith felt his heart start to race in his chest. Lance was judging him. He didn’t know what he was saying. Lance was going to treat him like an idiot. Roll his eyes at him and maybe yell at him for starting to mop the floor before he left. Wouldn’t have been the first time people had yelled at him for that. He felt like he was going to cry if Lance started yelling at him.

“Oh? Are you deaf?” Asked Lance. “Crap, you wouldn’t have heard me say that if you are huh? Um…” He pointed to Keith and then at himself. Specifically his mouth. “Can you read lips?” He asked. “My name is Lance.”

Keith’s heart was still pounding in his chest. He hadn’t been this close to Lance before. He was surprisingly really pretty up close. He quickly made hand gestures to Lance, trying to convey he wasn’t deaf. He was mute.

Lance still looked confused, but he was trying to figure out what he was saying. “... Mute?”

Keith nodded.

“Oh shit! Sorry man. But you gotta admit when someone starts throwing hands like that you assume they are deaf, you know?”

Keith shrugged. It wasn’t the first time someone had thought he was deaf. He noticed that Lance was holding his arm and quickly pointed to it while giving him a questioning look. Lance looked down at his arm and shrugged. 

“I’m a little bruised.”

Dread quickly filled Keith. Lance was going to make a complaint. He was going to tell Coran and then Coran would tell Shiro, and Shiro would talk to him about it and get his side of the story. Sure nothing would come of it, but still he was scared of how disappointed Shiro would be in him for this whole mess. He’d get so worked up over this he might text in sick for the next day or two at this rate.

Lance seemed to notice the look of panic on Keith’s face and he quickly tried to calm him down. “Whoa, calm down. I’m fine. Really. I was the idiot. My sister just called me and told me to grab my bag and get my lazy ass outside now and… Fuck she’s still waiting…” Lance quickly grabbed a dark blue backpack and smiled at him. “Sorry about messing up your floor. I’m the idiot. Not gonna make a complaint. See you around man. Take care.” And just as quickly as he was there, Lance was gone. 

When he was gone and the whole theatre was dead silent again. Keith’s legs gave out and he slowly fell to the floor. A cute boy talked to him. A cute boy talked to him so easily like it was nothing. He wanted to scream. He ended up spending twenty minutes trying to calm himself down from a panic attack by listening to his playlist which he had aptly named “Chill the fuck out”, which was composed mostly of the sounds of nature. Things like rain, ocean noises, rainforest sounds, and bird noises.

It worked pretty well and Keith went back to cleaning. He didn’t feel like singing that night. He was too wound up and jumpy for Lance having a conversation with him and not making it too weird. But the worst part was that Lance was really cute and pretty. A really cute guy that was totally Keith’s type. 

Keith really wished he could have talked to him. But if he was being honest he hadn’t talked to anyone in a month. Not verbally anyway. He quickly started to feel anxious again, but at least it was near the end of his shift.

He texted Shiro and walked out the front for him. Twenty minutes later Shiro turned up in his car and Keith quickly got in. Shiro immediately noticed that something was wrong with him.

“Did something happen tonight?”

“Y-yes.” Said Keith, barely above a whisper. It felt weird to hear his voice after not speaking for so long. It made him frown.

“Okay. Want to talk about it? Write it down when we get home?”

Keith clenched his jaw a little as he struggled to find the words while Shiro was driving. “S-someone slipped… Wet floor… They are fine.”

Shiro nodded. “Ah, okay. Do you know who slipped?”

“Lance. Bruised arm.”

“Did he yell at you?”

Keith shook his head. “No. Grabbed his bag and left.”

“Okay… Did you get to sing today?”

Keith’s face went bright red and looked down at his lap. One time Shiro had walked in on Keith quietly singing a fallout boy song back in high school, and Keith fainted from the panic. It was like his soul just decided to try and escape his body. Shiro had told him he had a really good voice. He’d tried to encourage him to talk and sing more, but every time he tried to sing in front of people he sounded like he had an extreme throat infection and kind of sounded like a balloon leaking air.

“I’ll take that as a no? Well, next time maybe?”

Keith shrugged and picked at a loose thread on his pants. The acoustics were too good when he started singing Queen. He’d probably feel better after singing a verse or two of We Will Rock You, or at least playing it on his keyboard.

***

The next evening the theater group left relatively on time, but they had dragged the piano onto the stage this time. It made Keith grin and he decided he quickly clean backstage first before he went and played the piano.

Much to his dismay some one had made a complete mess of the costumes and so he had to spend some time cleaning that up first. Some bright spark had gone and knocked over the masks. As he put them away he happened to find one of his favourite masks; a masquerade mask from the time the theater put on Phantom of the Opera two years ago.

He had to put his hair up in a ponytail to make it fit properly, but he felt like it looked pretty good on him. He probably could have played the part of the Phantom if he could muster up more than a squeak in front of people. Wearing a mask did make him feel a little more confident. He zipped up the jacket over his work overalls and looked at himself in the mirror. A small smile played on his lips. He might not have been able to be the Phantom, but at least now he could pretend. 

Keith walked back out to the stage and sat at the piano. There was sheet music there for Mary Poppins, but one again Keith didn’t feel like musicals or show tunes. He cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat. He quickly played a few scales to warm up his fingers and warmed up his vocal chords by carefully singing each note. He played and carefully sung a few pentatonic scales (major, minor, and man gong), and a few heptatonic scales (harmonic minor, phrygian, and mixolydian).

Once he felt like he had warmed up enough he put his music onto shuffle and listened to the first few bars of the song that was randomly selected. He cracked his knuckles again and cleared his throat before he started to play.

He loved the way his fingers danced over the keys. When he played music or just listened to it the words would just come naturally to him. They just naturally fell from his lips as his anxiety had completely melted away. At least for a few minutes he could pretend he was singing for someone.

“Late at night I could hear her crying…” He sang.

***

Lance sighed a little as he stepped out of the bathroom. One day Veronica was early to pick him up and the next she was late. He just didn’t get it. His sister was a fickle mistress. He was just going to wait in the lobby when he heard someone messing around with the piano. He wasn’t sure who it was so he thought he would look in and see if someone was trying to get in some extra practice.

He saw a man in a red jacket with his hair up in a ponytail playing some scales. Lance didn’t recognise who they were from their clothes alone. They also looked like they might have been wearing a mask? Lance couldn’t tell from this angle but it seemed likely. He’d just call out to them when they were done so he could ask who they were.

Then this mystery person started to play a song and sing. Their voice was totally a tenor and damn was every note on point. He knew the song and kind of wanted to harmonize with him, but some people could be really anal about singing in front of people when they were practicing. So he just stood back and listened to him. 

He was just as good at Lotor, if not better. Maybe the guy was part of the chorus but wasn’t confident in their ability? It happened. Some theater kids were shitty assholes and really tore down the competition, but this person, they had real talent.

Lance was almost too lost in his thoughts before he realised that the mystery piano player was done and gone. “... Fuck!” He quickly got up onto the stage and looked round. They were completely gone. Like a ghost. He quickly ran backstage and almost ran into the janitor.

The poor janitor looked like he was about to have a heart attack when he saw him. Which, considering he was crouched over a bucked of chemicals, was probably a very bad thing. He looked up at Lance like he had seen a ghost.

Lance tried to be as friendly as possible. “Hey man. Did you see some guy run by?”

The janitor shook his head, still looking kind of scared. He started to sign something to him before he stopped and looked completely dejected. Maybe he was trying to ask him what they looked like? He wasn’t sure.

“Um… They were about so tall? Black hair in a ponytail, red jacket? Might have been wearing a mask?” The janitor just stared up as Lance and slowly shook his head. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Lance frowned a little and looked at the name tag on the Janitor's shirt. It said Keith. “... Your name is Keith, right?”

If anything Keith looked even more scared than he did before, but he nodded. He looked down at his name tag and nodded again. Almost trying to confirm that he is indeed Keith.

Lance smiled a little at him. “Okay. Cool. I’m going to be waiting in the lobby for my ride… If you happen to see someone fitting that description, just let me know. Okay?”

Keith nodded.

“Cool. Night Keith.” Lance happily went to the lobby and patiently waited for Veronica to pick him up. He leaned against a wall and messed around with his phone a little. He wondered who the man was that he heard singing before? They sounded so good. How could they just finish like that? Keith didn’t even see him. Well, the theater was pretty damn old. Maybe they were a ghost of something? “... Nah.”


	14. Loose wires (Android AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets injured on the job and Lance tries his best to do stuff with him while Adam and Shiro enjoy their own date... (Keith's programming may or may not be a little corrupted hee hee hee)... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Shiro was not impressed. Keith could tell. But for once this wasn’t Keith’s fault. Then again it was never really Keith’s fault. He was just doing what his programming told him to. They had been pursuing a suspect who had robbed several convenient stores with a knife. He’d damaged several androids and a few humans.

Their pursuit led them to a loading dock where the suspect was caught, but Keith ended up getting his right arm crushed in the process. The suspect had managed to knock dozens of heavy pallets onto him which destroyed his arm and knocked his head around a little. Probably damaged some wiring. So the suspect got charged with damaging government property too. 

Keith had assumed that they still had right arms back down at the precinct, but nope. They had a few left arms and some legs, but they were all out of right arms. They put a rush order in for the android and would get a new one in for him the next day. Until then Keith had to deal with functioning with one arm.

Some of the cops in the department joked that he was trying to copy Shiro, since he too was missing his arm. It was annoying, but he just rolled with it. He had to plug himself into his workstation to get both his report and his injury report done. It was able to do it pretty quickly when he was plugged directly into the computer, but most people in the office didn’t like this. They thought it was kind of weird. Keith didn’t care. He had only plugged in when he had to.

Around the end of the work day Shiro walked over to him and looked him over. “So, do you want me to pin that sleeve up for you?”

Keith shrugged. “Go ahead.” As Shiro rolled his sleeve up Keith quickly looked over Shiro. He had a flyer for a Chinese takeaway shop in his pocket. “... Are we going to Adam’s place again?”

“Yeah. It’s my day off today so if you just want to stay here you can, but Lance was apparently very excited to see you again.”

Lance. Adam’s health care android. He was very upbeat and really happy to talk to him about everything and anything. He hadn’t been active for more than a week. He was almost child-like in the way he acted. Keith wondered if he ever actually did his job of looking after Adam, but he wasn’t at his place during the day so he didn’t know.

“I… I’ll go to see Lance.” Keith didn’t get to interact much with friendly androids, and Keith was technically programmed to form friendly bonds with others but he was still very standoffish with others. Also part of his programming.

Shiro grinned and the two of them walked out of the precinct. They stopped off at the Chinese takeout place to grab dinner and went to Adam’s place. Shiro let them in and called out for his boyfriend. Adam called out from his bedroom and a few minutes later Lance was wheeling Adam down the hall in a wheelchair. 

“Bad day?” Asked Shiro.

Adam sighed. “Unfortunately, yes… But Lance has been very helpful.”

Lance smiled brightly. “Most of Adam’s problems are due to ligament and muscle damage. Massage therapy is really good and helps to relieve the pain.”

“That’s good.” Said Shiro. “Thanks for taking care of Adam.”

“No problem Shiro. It’s my job and I’m happy to help.”

Adam smiled a little and looked up at Lance. “Can you please take me to the dining room?”

“Sure.” Lance wheeled Adam into the dining room and carefully set him up. “Is this all you need?”

“Yes. Thanks for your help. I’d like to be alone with Shiro now.”

Lance smiled and nodded. “Sure.” Lance looked over at Keith and suddenly noticed he was missing an arm. “What happened?!” Panicked Lance. He went over to Keith and started freaking out about his missing limb. “Why is your arm missing? What happened.”

“Relax.” Said Keith. “This happens all the time. They didn’t have spare parts at the precinct so I’m stuck like this until tomorrow.”

“But… Did it hurt?”

“I had a pain response, but no actual pain.” Said Keith calmly. He looked over at Shiro. “We’ll leave you two to it.” Keith left the room with Lance quickly following him, still very worried about his missing arm. “You’re still worried about it huh?”

Lance nodded. “I am a care android. Seeing someone missing a limb for any reason gets me worried. Especially when I know they weren’t missing one before…”

Keith shrugged. “I’ll have my arm back tomorrow.”

“Still…” He sighed a little before his eyes lit up. “Hey, do you like puzzles? Adam bought me a puzzle to do.” He held Keith’s hand and happily pulled Keith into the lounge room where the puzzle was.

“Why do you need to do a puzzle?” Asked Keith.

Lance shrugged. “My technicians, Pidge and Hunk, said that I should test my problem solving skills. Adam likes puzzles too so we were doing this five thousand piece puzzle. We had to stop because Adam’s hip started to seize and cause him trouble.”

He sat on the floor in front of a coffee table and smiled happily up at Keith. Keith sat across him and looked at the picture on the box. It was a dog park with a bunch of dogs, people, and androids about. There was a dog park close to where Shiro lived. Dogs were interesting. They really liked being around people and androids in general. Keith had been around the K9 unit a few times, but they growled at him. Apparently they were trained to track down and eliminate rough androids, so he kept his distance from them.

“A dog park, huh?”

“Yeah. Adam said to choose the most appealing looking one.” Said Lance. “I think dogs are cute so I got that one. What do you think? Pretty nice right?”

“Yeah, I guess it is nice.” Keith started looking through the pieces. “So… How is life as a nurse?”

Lance shrugged. “Can’t complain. Adam has been really wonderful to me. He’s downloaded a few different information packets for me so we can have more stimulating conversations. I can talk about the airforce now in detail, some stuff about the army, gardening, baking, and I downloaded fifty different books.”

“Cool. So you’re building up your own personality huh?”

Lance nodded excitedly. “Yeah. I like it. I guess I feel more like an individual now? I don’t know. How was your personality shaped?”

Keith shrugged. “I think your personality gets shaped by the people you interact with along with the information packs you download… Plus what you’re made for. I’d never be able to hack it as a nurse and I don’t think you would be able to take down a hardened criminal.”

The younger android frowned a little and nodded. “Yeah… Well I guess it’s kind of nice knowing what we are made for and all.”

“Yeah. We have more job security than a human.”

“But, it’s kind of sad.” Said Lance as he looked through the puzzle pieces. 

“How?”

“I like the idea of choice.” Said Lance. “Maybe it’s an error in my programming, but I like the concept of being able to have a choice. Like, maybe I don’t want to be a nurse? Maybe I want to do the pilot like Adam was before his accident? What if I want to be a cop like you and Shiro? I’m not allowed to. My serial number is wrong… Plus you know, prototype and everything.” He had a sad look on his face. “Any day cyberlife could decide that I’m not worth it and my line will be shut down and I’ll get scrapped…”

“...”

“S-sorry!” Said Lance quickly. “That was a little deep huh? I’m pretty sure I have a glitch in my emotions or logical thinking. I made a bug report about it…”

“It’s fine.” Said Keith. “Just haven’t heard an android talking about that kind of stuff before… What A.I_Ecore chip are you using? I’m using an x773.”

“xx79.” Said Lance. “The xx79 has higher processing power than an x773.”

Keith nodded and sorted through the puzzle pieces some more. “Well an xx79 is only good if you need higher emotional responses. An x773 is better for reading people’s emotions. I’m a pretty good detective. I have a pretty good idea of when someone’s lying to me.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

“... What would you do if you could choose your job?” Asked Lance. “Like, if you didn’t work for the police what would you do?”

“...” Keith didn’t know what to say. He’d always been okay with what he had been programmed to do. He didn’t entertain the idea of choice like that. He was an android. He didn’t get a choice. His vision glitched for a moment and he hit himself in the side of the head, slightly alarming the other android. “Visual glitch.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah… But no. I haven’t really wanted to be anything past my programming.”

“Well that’s still nice.” Said Lance as he placed more pieces. “Everyone should get to choose what they want to do. Even if what they want is what they were made for.”

“... I guess.” Keith frowned and looked down at the puzzle. They were done. “Huh… Guess we finished it.”

Lance looked down at the puzzle and smiled. “Yeah, we did. Do you need to charge? I have a dual charging station. Adam wanted a dual one so you could charge up too if you needed it.”

“Oh… Okay.”

Lance helped Keith up and directed him towards the charging room. It was relatively small compared to the other ones. The charging station was against the wall. Lance grinned and happily showed Keith around the very sparse room. 

“So this is my room. It’s small, but I have a wardrobe so I can have a change of clothes. Kind of redundant since I don’t sweat or anything.” Explained Lance. “Adam said I can pretty much decorate this room however I want. What does your charge room look like? Like, the one at the station probably isn’t very fun, but what about the one at Shiro’s place?”

Keith shrugged. “Shiro’s apartment is small. My charging station is in his living room.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, but this is nice. I like it.”

Lance grinned. “Yeah. Thank you. I might be a nurse and just a tool, but Adam treats me like a real person. So it’s nice, you know? Does Shiro treat you like you’re alive?” Lance was such an odd android. But Keith did enjoy his interactions with him.

“Yeah. Shiro’s offered me a beer a few times by accident.” Said Keith. “He keeps forgetting I don’t need to eat or drink.”

“Aw, that’s so nice.” Said Lance. “... Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you allowed to exchange your internal phone number to make phone calls?”

“I have Shrio’s emergency contact info in case something happens to him in the line of duty.” Said Keith. “Why?”

Lance grinned. “We can exchange numbers. Like, I’m assuming one of Shiro’s emergency contacts is Adam, right? Well if you can’t get in contact with him you can get in contact with me. Right?”

“That is… logical.”

Lance grinned and held his hand out to Keith so they could digitally transfer their numbers via physical contact. Their fingertips only touched for a few seconds, but it was enough for them to exchange numbers. The other android seemed very excited. 

This caused Keith to raise an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to make friends with other androids.” Said Lance. He happily started to hum to himself while he checked over his charging station. “Okay, everything is ready. Feel free to plug in and charge up anytime.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Lance plugged himself into the charging station and went into standby mode. 

Keith frowned a little as he studied the younger android’s face. He was as still as a statue but Keith did have to admit that the L series, even as a prototype, was very good looking. Not overly gruff or rugged. He was approachable. A good design. He liked it. His vision glitched again and he saw flashes of yellow and red. Usual indicators he was getting dangerously close to going against his programming. He’d have to report that as a bug tomorrow. He got into the dual charging port next to Lance and quickly went in standby mode.


	15. Library (Royal AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is a good (flirty) boy, and Keith is so confused by him... Also Shiro is a confused bean. Feel free to ask about any AUs you might like to see me write, like coffee shop aus, or collage aus. Whatever. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Writing jokes that made everyone laugh was hard. Lance thought it might be easier if he just threw himself down some stairs to get a laugh out of the Galra. Sure he got them to some but they didn’t laugh. It annoyed him. Especially the Duke. Duke Yurak.

Lance couldn’t deny it, Yurak was very cute. His ears were adorably fluffy and he had this permanent scowl on his face. Lance would have loved to squeeze his face and play with his ears. Though he was pretty sure if he did then they would stab him. It was annoying.

He sighed loudly and did a few handstands. From his view of the world upside down he happened to spy Yurak and Shiro. They were walking through the garden and Lance’s eyes lit up. He happily walked over to them, still doing a handstand.

“Hey guys.” He said in a chipper tone. “What’s up?”

The Galran’s seemed a little confused as to where they were meant to look at to talk to him. Shiro kind of tilted his head to the side. “Um, we’re good? We heard that you have a rather extensive library and heard it was in the west wing of the castle.”

“Ah, cool!” Lance quickly flipped back over and dusted his hands clean of dirt. “I can show you where it is. I could take some time to do some studying.”

“You study?” Questioned Yurak.

Lance gasped in fake shock. “Excuse me! I play ten instruments!” He quickly started listing them off; “Hydrolauphone, glass harmonica, double contrabass flute, pyrophone, great stalacpipe organ, ocarina, cello horn, fluba, pikasso guitar, and the nellophone. I need to know a plethora of music theory!”

“... Sorry I asked.” Muttered the Duke.

Lance pouted and crossed his arms. “You better be… Anyway, library?”

Shiro nodded. “Sure. We’d appreciate it.” 

Lance smiled and happily showed them the way. “So, anything you guys are particularly interested in? Wildlife? Plants? Fiction? Religion?”

“We’re interested in what an Altean wedding entails.” Said Shiro. “Zarkon and Lotor agreed to do a full Altean wedding as long as Allura is willing to spend a year on Diabazzel.”

“Ah cool.” Lance was surprised when he first heard that the wedding was going to be a traditional Altean one, but it did make sense in some way. If the Galra really did want to make peace the Altean people would expect them to conform to their traditions. It was sad but true. Lance took them to the library and grabbed them some books for them to look at.

Yurak looked through one of the books and his big cat ears seemed to go through a whole range of emotions. Perked up, folded back, flat out to the side, one up and one down, and just wiggling around in general. Lance wanted to touch those fluffy things.

Shiro picked up one of the books and read over a paragraph. “Huh… Excuse me, what is this?” He showed Lance a picture of a normal Altean wedding reception. He pointed to a person standing in the middle of a ring of curved tubes.

“That’s a nellophone.” Said Lance. “Traditional Altean instrument. It’s pretty huge. We only pull this out for traditional ceremonies and stuff. They do sound a little weird, but you guys might like it.”

“Huh… It looks… Big?”

“It is very big.” Said Lance calmly. “I prefer the hydrolauphone though.”

“Will you be playing that sometime for us?” Asked Shiro.

Lance shrugged. “Probably not. I need a fair bit of water for it to work and it’s usually only performed outside in an open area.”

“Ah, okay. Thank you for the help.”

“No problem. Let me know if you guys need anymore help.” He waved at the duo, taking one last look at Yurak’s wiggling ears before he went to the music section. Yurak was very cute and he kind of wanted to see if he could scratch that and make him purr. 

He sighed a little and went about finding an advanced music book of sheet music. The only instrument he had on him was his ocarina. Seeing as how he was in the library he didn’t dare play it, but he did practice the fingering. Allura had asked him to play an old, traditional wedding song at the reception, so he was doing his best for her. The song was Chariots of fire. Very complicated and difficult to get the fingering right.

Around the time he started to get cramps in his fingers he noticed that Yurak was watching him from the other side of the aisle. He waved at him and Yurak walked over to him.

“Do you need something?” Asked Lance as he cracked his knuckles.

“Do you have more books?”

“Oh sure.” Lance got up and went to find Yurak more books. “So… You excited for the wedding?”

“Honestly? Not really.”

Lance was surprised to hear about it. “Huh? Why?” This was the first he’d heard about the Galra not wanting Allura and Lotor to get married.

“I don’t like crowds.” Muttered Yurak. “Galra weddings are… They are smaller. More intimate. Only very, very close family and friends are allowed to be there… Royal weddings are broadcast but most people don’t actually watch the ceremony. They just watch the unveiling where the couple are presented to the extended family and friends, or in this case, the people of Dibazzel.”

“... Huh, neat.”

“Yeah… What were you doing?”

“Before?”

“Yeah.”

Lance shrugged as he looked over the books on the shelf. “If I ever get married I’d like to have a big wedding.”

“Yeah, you seem like a showy kind of guy.” Said Yurak. “Always wanting to be the center of attention?”

“What can I say? I’m an attention whore… And I want everyone to have fun.” He said. “Like, I want everyone and I mean everyone to be happy… I like it when people smile and laugh and just… The war was really shitty and everyone was really depressed. I became the court jester three years into the war.” 

“Oh… That probably wasn’t fun?”

Lance laughed a little as he gathered some books. “Yeah. You have any idea how hard it is to lift everyone’s spirits and make them think everything’s going to be okay after a few thousand soldiers get blown up?”

“... I can imagine it’s difficult.”

“It was…” Lance sighed and passed the books over to Keith. “Anyway, weddings are meant to be huge celebrations to make people happy. So, be happy for Lotor and Allura. She’s always had a thing for him and was really upset when this all started.”

“Honestly? Lotor was the same… Took way too long to convince Zarkon this was a bad idea.” Said Yurak calmly.

“Yeah… So like, you married yet?”

Yurak’s ears shot up into the air in shock as the light fuzz on his face puffed up. “Huh?”

“Is there a Duchess of Viperzar waiting for you back home?”

“Verpzar.” Corrected the Duke. “And no… There is no Dutchess. I’m not interested in courting anyone right now.”

“Aw, that’s a shame.” Said Lance. “If you ask me you’re quite a catch.”

Confusing was written all over the poor man’s face. “A catch?” 

Lance couldn’t help but grin. This was going to be good. “Yep. A catch. A total snack.”

“... What?”

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re a himbo too?”

“A what?”

“Hmm, but can twink’s still be considered a himbo? Or is that more of a thwunk and hunk thing?”

“...” Yurak made a very confused sound. “Lance, what the hell are you talking about?”

Lance smirked and lightly booped Yurak’s nose. He got a small thrill out of it when he saw Yurak shook his head and wrinkled his nose. “Never you mind. Now if you excuse me, I gotta go and practice my music. Later Yurak.” He blew him a kiss and happily skipped out of the library. Yurak was too cute not to flirt with.

***

Yurak slowly walked back to the table where Shiro was sitting. He sat down as calmly as possible, carefully arranged the books, took a deep breath, and slammed his face down as hard as he could into the table’s surface. It made several book stacks on the table jump or fall over.

“Are you okay?” Asked Shiro, hardly sparing the distressed Duke a glance.

“Lance is infuriating.” He muttered. “I don’t know what he wants half the time… Shiro, he asked me if I was courting anyone, of if there was a Duchess waiting for me… Then he called me a snack. Shiro, is this flirting? Like, Altean flirting?”

“In my experience, no.”

Yurak frowned at him. “What do you mean by your experience?”

“... Never you mind.”

“Shiro, are you trying to court an Altean?”

The older man shrugged. “He’s more like a pen pal. Remember how I told you about that Altean soldier I ended up getting marooned with on that asteroid?”

“Adam, right?”

“Yep. Well, we kept in touch even during the war. In secret of course.” Said Shiro calmly. “Due to his status he’s going to be present at the wedding. I think he has been flirting with me.”

“But you don’t know?”

“... Oh.” Suddenly Shiro looked worried. “Oh no… What if I’ve been reading the situation wrong? What if he...? Why do you do this to me Yurak?”

“If I have to suffer this weird ass Altean crap you have to suffer too.”


	16. Tater tots (Modern fantasy IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is still trying to get these pudgy morons into shape, but nope! They are morons. Very much morons. Lance is pretty much surrounded by himbos... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

On a warm refreshing summer’s day, Lance had organized a group training day with his supernatural clients. He managed to somehow get them to agree to a light bit of cardio through a popular running trail for beginners at a park. Much to his surprise, Keith was easily keeping pace with him while Shiro and Lotor were lagging behind. Shiro looked like he was going to puke and Lotor looked about ready to lie down and die.

“Pick up the pace you two!” Snapped Keith. “This isn’t that hard. Seriously how hard is it to keep up at a light jog?”

Lance rolled his eyes. Keith was not this enthusiastic about running before when he mentioned it. However, Keith quickly changed his tune when he realised that there was a fish and chips shop at the end of their run. A place that had been praised for their loaded seafood fries along with five different kinds of salt including; plain salt, chicken salt, rosemary salt, paprika salt, and parsley salt. Lance didn’t like it, but if it encouraged Keith to exercise he would work with it.

They were about fifteen minutes into their jog when Shiro quickly leaned against a tree and vomited. Lance jumped in shock. “Are you okay?”

“I’m hungover…” Mumbled Shiro. The oni was what a normal human would describe as a functioning alcoholic. Lance just wondered how much an oni could drink before they got drunk or hungover? The answer was probably too much. Way too much.

“... If you’re that hungover then maybe you should go home?” Suggested Lance.

Lotor took this opportunity to lean against a tree completely opposite of Shiro. The dark-elf was severely out of shape too. “Life in this world is nothing but pain…”

“Hey! Move your asses already! Be in pain on your own time!” Snapped Keith.

Lance sighed and shook his head. “Look, there are some benches up ahead. We can take a time out up there. You guys are doing really well. Don’t listen to Keith. He’s an asshole.”

Keith gasped in shock. “Excuse me?!”

Lotor smirked. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. That little pot belly isn’t going to phase me.”

Shiro washed his mouth out with his water and spat it out. “Yeah. I’m used to Keith’s outbursts.”

“I don’t have outbursts!” Snapped Keith.

Lance rolled his eyes and jogged towards the benches. About three minutes later the others were there too. Shiro and Lotor still looked dead, but Keith still wanted to get going. The power of potatoes was strong with this one.

Shiro sighed heavily. “Well considering I’m hungover I think I might actually head home… buy some aspirin or something…”

“I can sell you that.” Said Lotor quickly. He seemed very eager to get out of this.

“Cool. Are you okay with us cutting this short, Lance?” Asked Shiro.

Lance nodded and waved for them to go. “You guys did really well. Maybe next time we can go for a little longer?”

The dark-elf and oni quickly left, leaving Lance and Keith. Keith looked annoyed. “I can’t believe they would pass up fries to just go home? That’s bullshit! Can you believe it human?”

“Yes.”

“... Well fuck you too then.” 

***

The two of them continued on their jog through the park. They passed under trees and over bridges. Even under a few bridges too, but Keith still looked upset. And not upset because they were doing cardio. Lance was about to ask him what was wrong when Keith just blurted it out.

“Those lazy assholes! And after you invited them to do this too!” He snapped. “I thought they were coming to you for help, not to be lazy and slack off! This is bullshit.”

“...” Lance sighed and gently patted Keith’s back. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. You shouldn’t push someone too hard when it comes to exercise. They’d only end up hurting themselves and then they would need time off to heal. Eventually they came to a fork in the road and Lance decided to let Keith choose. “Alright, right or left?”

Keith shrugged, still in a pouty mood. “No one goes down the right path… But I know it like the back of my hand.”

With that ominous bit of information Lance followed Keith down the right path. He didn’t think he had taken this path before. The trees were a lot thicker and unkempt than the rest of the park. Eventually the two of them walked under a bridge with a heavily graffitied door. It had high voltage stickers and warning labels on it so it probably housed a transformer of some sort. However the graffiti said; **Parallel World Entrance. Welcome :D**

“And this is the way back home.” Said Keith casually.

Lance paused and looked at the door. “Are you serious? Is this really where you guys come from? You’re not joking?”

Keith shook his head. “Nope. This is the door to my world.”

“... So just on the other side is?”

“Yep.”

“... So I could just open the door and go to the other world?”

“Only if you have magical power.” Said Keith. “If you don’t have magic there’s nothing but some weird magic, electrical box in there.”

“A transformer?”

“It didn’t transform.”

“That’s not what I… Never mind.” Lance wondered how Keith had survived for so long in the human world.

Keith shrugged and started to jog again. “Whatever, let’s get moving. I need to lose weight if I ever want to get back home.”

“Right!” Lance jobbed behind him. 

Even though he was fast enough to easily overtake him, Lance did take the time to appreciate Keith from behind. He was wearing tight leggings under his red shorts and a dark shirt that was slowly riding up a little, showing off his love handles. If Lance wasn’t on the clock he would have probably hit on him. Maybe taken Keith out for coffee. 

After a while Lance started to recognise things again and gasped. “Keith! We have to stop!”

“Huh? Why?” Asked the elf.

“Dog park!” Lance pointed to a large fenced off field. Keith loved dogs but his apartment wouldn’t let him have one, so he loved dog parks.

The two of them paused for a moment and looked to see if there were any dogs in the dog park. There was one. A large, light brown, maybe auburn, labrador. They were by themselves and looked like they were walking from one side of the dog park to the other. No human in sight. 

“... This isn’t good.” Said Lance. “Where is their owner?”

Keith shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“I’m going to see if they have a collar…” Lance jumped the fence and walked over to the dog. Keith quickly followed behind him.

The dog saw them and cautiously walked over, but stayed a good distance away from them. They weren’t coming any closer and backed away when they tried to keep closer. Lance couldn’t see their collar.

“... We need to get closer.” Muttered Lance. 

Keith shrugged and took a tater tot out of his pocket. “This should do it. Nothing alive can resist something as delicious as a potato.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “... Where the fuck were you hiding that? Actually, I don’t want to know.”

Keith tossed the tater tot towards the dog. It immediately perked up and looked like it was running towards the food, but it was so slow. It tore into the tater tot when it got to it and happily walked over to them. 

Lance grinned and happily patted them. “Aw, so cute!”

“... Do you think it wants more of my tater tots?” Asked Keith.

Lance shrugged and happily patted the dog. “Maybe? Who knows. Aw, you’re a bit of a hecken chonkers? Aren’t you? Aw, animals are so cute when they are fat.” He crouched down and started patting the dog. “Aw, who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl? You are. Yes you are!”

“... Are you okay Lance?”

“I really love animals.” Said Lance as he continued to give this dog all the love. After a while the dog started to squirm and walk away, but Lance was much too quick and always managed to grab hold of the chonky dog.

“S-STOP IT!” Howled a distressed voice. The dog that Lance had been petting and cuddling had turned into a young chubby person with dog ears and tail. They looked sufficiently freaked out by getting man handled by the other man. Lance paused and looked up at them before quickly letting go and jumping back. 

“Ah! A dog person!”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Obviously. You really couldn’t tell they were a lycanthrope?”

“You knew and didn’t tell me?”

The lycanthrope pouted as their ears pinned back flat against their head. “Fuck off you creepy molesting human!”

“I-I wasn’t molesting you!” Cried Lance in horror.

“Yes you were!” They snapped. “You and that gross oil stinking elf.”

“... The fuck did you just call me?” Growled Keith.

“Just go away!” They barked. “You’re interrupting my exercise!”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Exercise? A-anyway, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m Lance and this is Keith. What’s your name?”

“... Pidge.”

Keith smirked. “Pudge?”

“PIDGE!” They huffed. “It’s not my fault I’ve gotten fat… When I’m around humans they bring me more tributes than I can handle. I can’t bring myself to save it for later so I just… I eat everything I get given so I’m running with all my might every day. It’s the fault of humans I’m getting fat. They only ever feed me really fattening things.”

“... You call that running, Pudge?” Asked Keith. “But you do have a point, humans are solely to blame for everyone’s increasing waste line.

“Glad a pot bellied pig is able to see my point of view.”

“FUCK YOU!”

Lance sighed and tried to get between them. “Calm down Keith… Sorry about before. I um, I wasn’t trying to do anything bad to you. I was trying to give you a massage. It can really help with weight loss when included in a strict diet and exercise regimen.”

“Okay…” Said Pidge quietly. “But running sucks… My body feels really heavy…”

Lance frowned a little when they said that. “That’s no good… How about some stretches?” He managed to get both Keith and Pidge to lie down while he talked them through some stretches meant to help with their stomach. “It’s important you find a good place to stretch where you feel comfortable, even if you find it hard. You can slowly start to see results if you stretch for 5-10 minutes a day.” Said Lance. “Stretches that involve the hips are best since that’s an area with dense muscle. You gotta steadily loosen your muscles so you can drain your lymph.”

The two supernatural creatures did a few more hip stretches before Pidge sat up and wagged her tail. “Holy shit… My body is all warmed up now.”

Lance grinned and nodded. “Yep. Stretching is always good. I always recommend it if you give up on a workout.”

“Huh… Thanks for that Lance.” Said Pidge. “I guess I forgive you for grabbing me like that. Just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t! I promise! I am so sorry!”

Keith rolled his eyes and offered some tater tots to Pidge. “Here. Let’s just eat this and agree that all’s forgiven?”

“... Deal.”

The two creatures happily ate the tots while Lance quietly weeped that they weren’t going to lose any weight if they kept eating that crap. Also, where the fuck was Keith getting those tater tots from?


	17. Family (Incubus AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Welcome back to hell. Enjoy this shit show. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith whimpered as Lance roughly shoved him up against the side of the barn. He had one hand delicately wrapped around Keith’s neck and jaw. With Lance’s other hand he pinned Keith’s shoulder to the wall. There was a dark glint in his eyes as the Incubus leaned in close to him.

“You smell so fucking good.” He groaned in a low voice. “Your scent’s been driving me fucking crazy. Where were you going Keith? Trying to run away while I was distracted?”

Keith whimpered again and kept his eyes screwed shut. He was scared. He didn’t know why Lance was acting like this. He told Lance he was going for a walk. He had been good. He’d been very good over the past few days. Why was Lance trying to hurt him? He didn’t understand.

The Incubus hummed as they roughly jerked his head to the side, exposing his neck. He smirked and slowly licked him, starting from his collar bone and tracing along his jugular until he hit his jaw bone. “You taste so good Keith.” He purred. “I’m going to eat you up right here. You better scream for me cutie.”

“L-Lance…” He choked out. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Hmm? What are you sorry for?” Asked Lance. “What did you do wrong?”

“I-I don’t know.” Cried Keith. “I-I-I honestly don’t know… P-please…” He knew he was ugly crying now. “Y-You weren’t like this before. I-”

“I’m a sex demon.” Growled Lance. “You’re my food. Now be a good little piece of food and strip down.” He threw Keith onto the ground and struck him with his tail. “Fucking strip. I’m hungry.”

***

Three days earlier the two had been driving down an old country road to their next destination. Lance had been playing with the radio stations until he found until he found one where some man was doing that good old gospel bible thumping. They were yelling some stuff about the fornicators and the adulterers. Lance grinned and happily started mocking them like it was nothing.

“No PaRaDiSe FoR ThE FoRnIcAtOrS!” He mocked in a cartoonish voice. “No room for the cartoon watchers and the republicans either. Fuck the demicrats too. Ah, fuck it. Everyone gets to go to hell!”

Keith did have to admit hearing him talk like that did make him smile. Lance always did make an effort to make sure he was happy. Some days were tough, but these kind of made up for it. He was pretty sure they had more good days then bad.

Suddenly some weird static came over the radio and Lance immediately perked up. Keith would have questioned it but he knew better than to do that. The Incubus suddenly got very excited. “Keith! Keith! Keith! Make a right turn up here! Do it! Do it! Do it!” 

He shrugged and turned at the next left onto a dirt road. After twenty minutes of driving as Lance became increasingly excited, they came to a rundown and abandoned looking farmhouse and barn.

The second Keith stopped the car Lance jumped out and ran to the door. “Mama?!” He called. “Mama?! Are you there?”

Keith froze. “Mama?” He whispered. Was Lance’s mother here? Maybe she was friendly? But what if she mistook him as food that Lance brought along? He looked over at Lance and saw a woman walk out of the house. She didn’t even bother hiding her winds or tail. Her hair was short and she had glasses. She was pretty. Should he get out? Should he stay here? Was he going to get hurt? He hadn’t met any other demons before.

Lance went back to the car and happily pulled Keith out and dragged him towards the woman. “So Veronica, this is my handler, Keith. Keith, this is my big sister Veronica. She’s a succubus.”

Veronica nodded and held her hand out to Keith. “Hello.” Keith tried to be polite and held his hand out to shake her hand. As soon as she got a firm grip she pulled him in close and breathed in his scent. “Well don’t you smell delicious.” Keith froze in shock, but she quickly let him go and turned her attention back to Lance. “Mama’s getting stuff sorted out right now. Should take a while. Everyone Marco’s in the basement. Luis, Lisa and her rugrats are out in the fields. Dad’s in hell and Rachel… she’s cleaning up the upstairs.”

“Neat.” Said Lance. “It’s been centuries since I’ve seen you guys.” He pulled Keith inside and happily sat on the couch, pulling Keith onto his lap. He noticed that Lance kept him in place with his tail.

Veronica noticed this too and raised an eyebrow, but otherwise did nothing. “Yeah, it has been a while. We ran out of stock so we’re starting a small chop shop here.”

“Ah, I see.”

Suddenly another demon came down the stairs. They looked extremely similar to Lance and grinned at them. “Lance!” She quickly went over to them, but was very interested in Keith. “Who’s the snack?”

Lance rolled his eyes and pulled Keith a little closer. “This is my handler. Keith. He is not for you. He is mine.” He nuzzled Keith. “Keith, this is my twin sister Rachel. She had to be the picky sex demon. She changes between succubus and incubus depending on how much seamen is inside her… Right now since she looks like a girl she has none in her.”

“Yep, but Keith could fill me up again.” She purred as she reached out to touch him. Before he could get close, Lance grabbed her wrist and violently jerked it, knocking her to the ground.

“Touch my Keith and I will break your arm.” He growled at her. “Same goes for you Veronica. Everyone for that matter.” Keith was shocked at how protective Lance was being with him, but he wasn’t complaining. From what Veronica had said there was a lot of sex demons here and Keith did not want to get cornered any any of them. For all he knew they all ate hearts like Lance.

“Wow, someone’s got a parasite up their ass today.” Grumbled Rachel.

A door in the back of the house slammed open and a tall demon carrying a bloodied cleaver walked out. He looked slightly annoyed. “What’s with all the noise? Oh, hey Lance. Good to see you again… Who is this?”

Lance smiled. “Hey Marco. This is Keith. My human handler. Keith, this is Marco, he’s an incubus like me. He doesn’t eat hearts though. He just drains his victims of their life energy.”

Over the next few hours Keith was introduced to the rest of the McClain family. His other brother Luis and his wife Lisa were both an incubus and a succubus respectively. They sucked the life out of people in their dreams. He also had a young niece and a nephew that were apparently too young to start feeding off people that way and just stuck to eating human flesh instead. Lance’s mama was a succubus and seemed quite happy to see Lance had brought him around. Though she was less pleased when Lance said that Keith was his alone and no one was to touch him.

“Come now Lance, you can’t just bring something that looks as tasty as that around and not share him.” Scolleded the older woman. “At least let the younger ones eat some of his fingers.”

“No.” Growled Lance darkly. “I came by to catch up with you all because it’s been too long since I’ve seen you all. Not because I wanted to throw Keith at you. He’s all mine.”

“Selfish.” Hissed Rachel.

Lance punched her arm. “Fuck off Rachel. If you fucking touch him I will kill you.”

Keith was scared, but he stuck close to Lance. He didn’t like this at all, but Lance wanted to be around his family so he wasn’t going to say anything. He’d just keep quiet and stay by Lance. It was safest this way. He didn’t trust anyone here besides Lance.

So that was how Keith found himself sitting at a rotted dinner table. Lance had pulled Keith as close as possible. Practically pulling him onto his lap. Keith quickly learned a few strange things about these demons. They seemed to be here doing some kind of job. What that job was? Well, Keith didn’t want to know. All he really picked up from it was that it involved humans and Macro enjoyed using a knife on them. No way Keith wanted to know what they were doing. He just hoped that whatever happened he wouldn’t end up on the sharp end of Marco’s knife.

He also had no idea what the food that the adult demons were eating. The two children were literally eating in human fingers while the demons were drinking some weird yellowish green liquid. Keith was just eating a muffin Lance had bought him at the last gas station they visited.

“We’ll probably be here for a few more days.” Said Lance’s mother. “Have to do these things quickly you know. The Blade of Mamora has been really pestering us a lot lately. They managed to clip your poor father’s wing a few decades ago.”

“Ah, so that’s why he isn’t here…” Said Lance. “Shame. I would have liked to introduce him to Keith. He would have really liked you.” 

Veronica chuckled. “Lance, dad loves humans. He would have taken one look at Keith and just ate him up on the front porch.”

Lance glared at her while his mother just laughed. “Ah, very true. He’s always had a taste for you, cute humans. He probably would have tried to fight you for him.”

Lance hissed a little and pulled Keith a little closer. “No. Keith is mine. If any of you try anything I will kill you.” He looked at his niece and nephew and smiled sweetly at them. “That includes you two too.”

“Well, are you going to stay the night?” Asked his mother. “You and your um… human pet…”

“Keith.”

“Keith, can stay here too.” She said. “There are some decent living arrangements for humans that should suit him.”

Lance rolled his eyes and looked up at Keith. He lovingly ran his fingers over Keith’s cheek. “What do you say? Want to stay here with my family for a few days?”

Honestly, Keith wanted to leave. He was scared by how they all looked at him and how Lance had to keep threatening them not to touch him. But Lance seemed happy and excited to see them again. He just smiled and nodded. “Y-yeah. Your family seems nice.” He said quietly.

Lance’s mum seemed very happy and clapped her hands. “Wonderful. It’ll be so nice to have you boys around for a few days… and Keith? Honey? Stay out of the basement.” She then pointed to the rest of her children. “And no luring him down there either. I’m looking at you Marco.”

“Just because I’m the one that uses the most psychological manipulation you all assume that I’m the one that’s going to do something to his mind?”

“YES!” Bellowed everyone at the table.

***

The bed they were given was lumpy and smelled kind of weird, but it was fine compared to some of the places that he and Lance slept. Thought tonight Lance had practically wrapped Keith in a cocoon of his wings and tail. He asked why Lance was doing and the demon just shrugged. 

“I love my family, but they all think you look delicious.” Said Lance. “I’m not sharing you and Luis and Lisa hunt sleeping humans. They might try and take advantage of you and take some of your fingers and toes for their kids.”

“...” Keith practically curled into a ball and had difficulty sleeping that night. It didn’t help that even on the second floor he could hear weird sounds coming from the basement. He really didn’t want to know what they were doing in there.

When the morning came Lance took Keith back out to the car and gave him some more food to eat. It wasn’t much, but it would be fine until they got to the next town. Keith very quietly ate food while Lance happily nuzzled his arm. Keith wanted to leave soon, but he would stick this out for Lance. Lance was happy, so he should be happy too, right? Lance had been taking care of him for all this time. He deserved to spend time with his family.

“W-what are we going to d-do today?” He asked quietly.

Lance shrugged. “Probably help mama in the basement.”

“I-I’m almost afraid to ask what’s in there…”

“...” Lance gently squeezed his hand. “Then don’t. You don’t want to know what is in there… The most I will tell you is that my family… They don’t see their handlers as individuals. Humans are just food to them and they um… Well, the phrase; sharing is caring. Is common among my kind. It isn’t uncommon for family groups to lure a small group of humans to a place and feed off them for a number of months…”

Keith gulped. “So in the basement is…?”

“Yes, humans… My family's human handlers…” Said Lance quietly. “You don’t want to see them… They are probably close to dying now…” 

“... O-okay… I’ll stay out of the basement.” He was never going to go down to the basement.

“Uncle Lance!” Called Lance’s niece as she ran up to him. He smiled and picked up the girl. She grinned at him, showing off her abnormally sharp teeth. Perfectly sharp and ready to shred the meat off of bones.

“What’s up Nadia?”

“Wanna come and play with us? We haven’t played with a human before!”

“Keith isn’t my pet.” Corrected Lance. “He is my handler and I love him.”

She tilted her head in mild confusion. “But he’s a human. You can’t love a human.”

“I beg to differ.”

Veronica walked out of the house and walked over to them. “Trying to get Lance to play with you huh?”

“Yep!”

She smiled a little and looked at Lance. “Keith isn’t my type. If you want to play with them you can. I’ll keep them away from him.”

“Really?” He glanced over at Keith before he looked down at Nadian and smiled. “Okay. We’ll be back soon Keith. Love you.” He quickly kissed him and ran off to where his niece wanted to go.

Veronica stared at Keith and smirked. Her eyes were curious but overall uncaring. “So, you’ve really taken my little brother huh?”

“... Not intentionally.” He said quietly.

“... You don’t want to be here, do you? You don’t want to be around his family.” She accused. “You want to leave. Run away. Never see us again. Right?”

While it was true Keith didn’t want to be there he didn’t have the will to run away. “I don’t have any family I can run to.” He said quietly. He closed his eyes and sighed sadly. “If you guys are going to kill me can you at least do it quickly? Or at least let Lance do it?”

“You want Lance to kill you?”

“I belong to him don’t I?” Asked Keith. “He should decide if he still wants me alive or not.”

Veronica was stunned for a moment before she patted him on the back and laughed. “Lance picked a good one this time. He must really like you huh?”

“I um… I guess?” Said Keith quietly. “I-I try to look after him when I can… A-and he looks after me…”

“Well that’s good.” Said Veronica. She continued to stare at him and it unnerved Keith a lot. She gently put her hands on his face and stared into his eyes. “... Look, I’m going to be very honest with you. Lance isn’t a very good Incubus. He gets attached to humans very quickly. He doesn’t understand he needs to use you and throw you away as soon as possible. As such, you need to understand that Lance is an outlier. My family and I do not believe or understand his feelings towards humans.”

“So am I in danger?”

“To a degree.” She said calmly. “Keep away from Marco. I likes to torture his food before he eats it. Lisa and Luis won’t bother you while you’re awake and their kids don’t hunt yet either. Mama will generally leave you alone if you follow her rules. She likes keeping Lance happy because Lance is the youngest, even though he is Rachel’s twin…”

Shr frowned a little when she mentioned the younger sister. That worried Keith a lot. “What’s wrong with Rachel?”

“... Her being Lance’s twin has the mentality of what’s Lance’s is hers.” She warned. “Rachel’s pissed off that Lance isn’t sharing you. You need to be really careful. She might not have the same mental powers as Marco, but she is manipulative. She knows how to get what she wants.”

“... Okay. Thank you.”

“This isn’t for your benefit.” Said Veronica. “This is for Lance… Come with me. I want to show you something.”

Keith was reluctant but he followed the older woman to the barn. There was no roof and some of the side wall had fallen in. There was a strong smell of rot and decay coming from it. It made Keith’s skin crawl. He was pretty sure he knew what might be in there and he could feel his legs trembling. He didn’t want to go there. He didn’t.

She just rolled her eyes and stood by the hole in the side of the barn. “I want to level with you. You’re an interesting man, but you’re a human. Just a human, and Lance is an Incubus. If you still want to stay alive you need to keep Lance happy. If not, you’ll end up here.” She gestured for Keith to look inside the barn.

Keith gulped and looked into the barn. There was a pit. A hole. He didn’t want to look into it, but he did anyway. It was filled with limbs in various stages of decomposition. But that was it. They were just limbs. No torsos, heads or chests. Just limbs. It made him shiver and made him feel scared.

“If you don’t keep him happy then parts of you might end up in a pit like this.” Warned Veronica.

“... W-where is the rest of them?” He asked quietly, though he dreaded the answer.

“In the basement.” Said Veronica calmly. “We can keep our food source alive for centuries past their natural life span. They don’t need their arms and legs to be useful to us and honestly? Neither do you. You’re expendable. Know your place among demons.”

***

Later that night after another awkward family dinner the two of them escaped back to their room for the night. Lance happily held and nuzzled Keith. Gently praising him about how well he’s getting along with his family. How everyone likes him, and how happy he was that everyone was leaving him alone.

“When we leave we’ll go and get you something really yummy to eat.” Said Lance. “Something like… Chicken? You like things with chicken, right? Chicken noodles? Chicken burger? Cake? You can have whatever you want.”

“... Thank you.”

Lance smiled and kissed him. Keith kissed back. “I love you Keith.” Said Lance quietly. “I love you so much. You’re so handsome and kind. I appreciate you getting along with my family.”

Keith just smiled at Lance and continued to let the man praise him. He liked being praised by Lance and being told he was good. He liked being good for Lance. If he was good for him then good things would happen. He closed his eyes and happily let Lance continue to nuzzle and kiss him.

The next day Keith did feel a little better about being around the demon family and felt confident enough that he wasn’t going to get attacked when he went out to the car to grab some food for himself. When he was outside, he sat on the bonnet of the car facing the barn. The barn was… He didn’t want to go there again, but he had a sick and twisted feeling in his guts. He felt weird.

He didn’t want to go back there, but he did. He wanted to go back there and see the body parts again. Keith didn’t know why but he just did. He got up and slowly walked over to the barn. It still smelled like rot and decay.

He got to the barn and looked into the hole. Yep. Still a bunch or rotted arms and legs. He couldn’t help but nervously shift from foot to foot as he looked around for a shovel. He needed to bury it. The smell was too strong. People will find it. They would get in trouble. He found a shovel tossed on the floor. He picked it up and started to refill the hole. He was a good boy. He was good. He’d do everything he needed to do to make sure that no one found them.

Once the hole was filled in, Keith dusted his hands off and left the barn. It was then that Lance pounced on him and he was where he was now. With Lance standing over him, striking him with his tail, and telling him to strip.

***

Keith was shaking as he took off his jacket and shirt for him. “L-Lance…” He said in a shaky voice. “I-I’m s-s-s-sorry…”

Lance rolled his eyes and took off his own shirt. “Don’t be sorry. Get naked already. You want me to hit you again?”

Keith shook his head as tears started to well up in his eyes. He didn’t understand why Lance was hurting him. He hadn’t hurt him like this before. All he knew was that he didn’t want Lance to start hurting him like this now. He quickly started to work on taking off his pants when he noticed the lack of scar on Lance’s chest. Lance had a prominent scar on his chest from when he cut himself open to exchange hearts with Keith. They didn’t.

“... Y-You’re not Lance…”

“Close enough though right?” They purred.

“... LANCE!!!” Screamed Keith, but the other quickly jumped on him, clamped their hand over his mouth and growled at him. 

“Shut up.” They hissed. “Just shut the fuck up and take it you little shit. I-”

They were violently yanked off of Keith and thrown to the ground by Lance. The actual Lance. They had venom in their eyes as they viciously climbed onto the other demon and started to rip into them, shredding lots of their skin from their wings. Both were shrieking and making sounds like two feral cats fighting in the street.

“Rachel!” Snapped Lance. “You shapeshifting whore! I told you to stay the fuck away from Keith! He is mine! MINE! MINE!”

Eventually Rachel managed to pull herself free from her brother. Her wings were in ruins, her body was covered in deep claw marks and a few large chunks were missing from her tail. “FUCK YOU!” She yelled at him. “SELFISH PRICK!”

“KILL YOURSELF!” Hissed Lance. He took a few moments to calm himself down before he walked over to Keith and quickly helped him get his shirt back on. “Are you okay? She didn’t hurt you, did she? I am so sorry… Are these bruises?”

He tried to touch him, but Keith pushed him away. “N-no!” He whimpered. “Don’t! I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m-”

“It’s okay.” Said Lance calmly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. My sister is just a bitch. You were good. You did a very good job. Are you okay? What did she do to you?”

Keith sniffled a little. “I-I… She looked and sounded just like you… Sh-she licked my neck and s-said I should scream for her… I… I really thought she was you, but she doesn’t have a scar on her chest like you do so I knew it wasn’t you… B-but she kept hitting me…”

Lance looked angry, but not at him. He held Keith close and picked him up. “We’re going. I won’t let my family treat you like one of their handlers.”

Keith sniffled and buried his head into Lance’s shoulder. He was scared and just wanted to leave. He wanted to be somewhere safe, far away from Lance’s family. He felt safe in Lance’s arms. It was the only place he felt safe anymore. They got to the car and Lance out Keith in the backseat. Some of Lance’s family came out of the house to see what all the screaming was about.

Lance growled a little. “Stay in the car.” He shut the door and Keith anxiously watched and waited for Lance to come back in so they could leave.

***

His mama looked rather annoyed at him. “Now what is all this about you attacking Rachel? Her wings are in tatters.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I told her not to touch Keith. Keith is mine. She tried to fuck him! Mama! She tried to fuck him!”

“Wow, almost like she’s a succubus!” Snapped the older woman. “What were you thinking? If you’re going to be a selfish brat like that then maybe we should just take him down to the basement with the others?”

“Don’t you fucking dare you heartless whore…” Growled Lance darkly. 

“Lance Asmodeus McClain! You did not just call me heartless!” She snapped. “I am your mother! I know what is best for you! I know you’re not all there in the head and I’ve let you do your own thing by running around and playing with humans, but no! You need to show us some respect! You are-”

“He’s my soulmate mama!” Yelled Lance. That admission seemed to shut her up. “Keith is my soulmate. I’m never sharing him with anyone. Not Rachel, not you, not anyone… Until you all respect that I’m leaving. I don’t care if I happen to pick up a hell signal on the radio again. I’m never seeing any of you again.”

His mother looked between her son and Keith. “... He is your soulmate?”

“Yes.”

She sighed and shook her head. “You should have said that earlier than just saying he’s your handler. You know how seriously we take these things…” He gave him a quick hug. “Now you two drive safely. There is word that the Blade of Marmora is heading in this direction. Keep your head down. The both of you.”

“Thanks. We will.”

“Good… Now if you excuse me I have to go and yell at your sister about trying to eat someone’s soulmate.”

“Okay. Bye mama.” He quickly got back into the car and started to drive away. Keith was very quiet from his spot in the backseat. He still looked very shaken up about everything. “... You know I won’t let anyone touch you like that, right?” He asked the other. “I will always protect you. Human or demon I won’t let them have you.”

“I-I know…” Said Keith quietly. “I… I wasn’t trying to run away from you… I-I could never run away from you.”

“I know love. I know you’ll never leave me and I’ll never leave you… And why won’t I leave you?”

“Because you love me?”

“Yes and you love me too, right?”

“Yeah. I love you too.”


	18. Confronting the ghost (POTO AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith still tried to lead a quiet life, but nope. Lance continues to disrupt him. Also Pidge is a little shit. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith ended up having janitorial duty during the day while rehearsals were going on later in the week. Some of the urinals in the mens room had broken and he was trying to make sure it didn’t leak water everywhere. The whole theater was pretty old, around 80 years old to be precise. There were some plumbing issues and electrical issues in the place because of this. Keith was more than happy to climb into the crawl spaces to fix things up. He was pretty much the opposite of claustrophobic.

He stuck up a laminated sign that said it was out of order on the urinal and tossed a purple urinal cake into the working ones. After that he left and went to go to the women’s room, but then stopped.

Sure it was his job but he really needed to call out to anyone in there to make sure there wasn’t someone in there using the bathroom. He didn’t want to be labeled a creep or a pervert for trying to do his job. This is why he liked working at night when everyone was gone. He needed a woman to make sure there was no one in there.

“...” He sighed heavily and resigned himself to his fate of just ignoring the women's room until everyone was gone so he could do his job. It was just another one of those things.

Suddenly Pidge rounded the corner with a fast food bag in their hand. “Hey man. What’s up?”

_Can you check the woman’s room for me?_ He quickly signed. _I know you’re non binary but you’re less likely to get screamed at if you look in there._

“... Yah, fair enough. Hold my food.” They passed their food bag to Keith and looked inside. “Hey! Anyone in here? Janitor’s gotta clean the shitter!” After a few seconds of silence and took their food off of Keith. “It’s all yours my dude.”

_Thank you._ Keith quickly put up a closed for cleaning sign in front of the door and quickly went in. 

He really hoped that no one would barge in anyway. It had happened a few times before. Most people would get embarrassed and quickly leave or if it was an emergency, usually a young girl that needed to change a pad or tampon, Keith would quickly leave and let them do what they needed to do. Then there were the times the shrieking banshee’s would come screaming in and demand he get the fuck out. Usually it resulted in Keith hiding in the janitor’s store room until someone came to find him while he tried not to have a panic attack.

He quickly went about changing the sanitary bins, scrubbing the toilets, cleaning the makeup on the skin, and refilling the soap dispenser. When he was almost done the bathroom door opened up and Nyma walked in. She was on her phone and gave Keith a mildly annoyed look. 

“You done yet?” She asked.

Keith nodded and quickly left the bathroom. The cleaning in progress sign was still there, which annoyed him a lot. Nyma should have just waited or at least poked her head in instead of just marching in like she owned the place. Like usual.

He just shook his head and went up to the soundbooth to check and change the bins. Pidge was in there eating their lunch with Hunk. He was a larger man that was kind of intimidating to approach, but he was the definition of a gentle giant. He always said hi to Keith and would tell him to have a good night if he saw him in the evening.

“Hey Keith.” Said Hunk when he walked into the room. “Are you working?”

Keith nodded and held up a trash bag. The two nodded and let Keith get on with his work without bothering him. He was thankful that they just ignored him when he was working. 

“Oh so did you hear what Lance was talking about the other day?” Asked Pidge

“The Ghost thing?” Asked Hunk.

Pidge cackled. “Yep! Dumb ass thinks the place is haunted. Saw and heard some guy singing the other day. He went to see who it was and bam! They vanished. Now he thinks it’s a ghost.” Keith’s face started to burn. “I told him that a young man got murdered here over hundred years ago backstage before his final performance, and now he performs every night to an audience that will never hear him.”

“And he bought it?” Asked Hunk.

“Lance is a lot of things, gullible is one of them.”

“... Hasn’t the theatre only been running for 80 years?”

Pidge shrugged. “Not my fault Lance knows shit about the theater.” They looked over at Keith. “Hey Keith? Your brother owns this place. Does he know about any creepy ghost stories?” Keith shook his head. “Bummer.”

Keith quickly finished up with the trash and headed to the dumpster out the back. He couldn’t believe that Lance thought he was a ghost. Was Lance really that dumb? He didn’t really know what to think. Well, today was a half day for the people at the theatre and he wanted it to be over so that he could have the theatre to himself. He only had to wait two more hours. Just two hours and he could pretend he was somewhat important.

***

Lance was convinced that there was a ghost in the theater and he was so going to see it. According to Pidge they would only show up if it was dead quiet in the theatre and you couldn’t interrupt their song. You had to sit quietly in the theater up the back and applaud when they were done.

Now Lance didn’t want to just see the ghost because it was a ghost, but because Pidge had touted off that the ghost was an amazing singer and well… If Lance was honest he was extremely nervous about his role in the musical and wanted help. Any kind of help. He needed constructive criticism. He was either getting praise from friends or cut down by jealous people who wanted his role. He wanted the ghost to maybe hear him and give him some pointers. He was pretty desperate for an objective opinion.

He wondered if Keith had ever seen the ghost when he was working? He might ask the man later. Either way Lance happily hid away when everyone was going home and only emerged an hour after everyone was meant to have gone home. The theater was weird when he was the only one there. He very quietly walked into the theatre and sat down in one of the seats.

He nervously sat around for what felt like forever before he looked up and happened to see a man in a red jacket walking across the stage. They were wearing a bright red jacket and wearing a masquerade skull mask. He didn’t even notice Lance as they walked over to the piano and played a few scales. After they finished their scales they started playing a song on the piano.

“I feel you Johanna...” He sang as his fingers effortlessly glided across the piano. They were singing Johanna from Sweeney Todd. His voice was beautiful and once again Lance was completely mesmerized by their voice. He sounded like an angel and Lance stayed quiet through the whole song. “I feel you Johanna. Wake up, Johanna. Another bright red day we learn Johanna to say good-bye… I’ll steal you…”

When he played the last note Lance started applauding. In an instant the man at the piano jumped up, knocking over the chair and quickly looked around the theater, quickly spotted Lance. They froze for a few moments before they ran backstage.

“Wait!” Called Lance. He quickly got up and ran backstage to try and find them. “Wait! I-I want to talk to you for a second!” Backstage was deathly quiet. Lance started looking around the theater and hoped that he could spot them again. “You have an amazing voice… I… I want to ask you for help…”

He didn’t get any response. The theater was dead quiet again. He couldn’t even hear Keith pushing around that squeaky janitorial cart he sometimes had with him. Maybe it was his day off?

“... Your voice is amazing.” Said Lance again. “I… I need some help. You’re the only one who can help me. Please?” When Lance got no response he quickly pulled out the script and skipped down to one of his songs, cleared his throat and started singing. “Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-oo! I does what I likes, and I likes what I do-”

When he was done he looked around and desperately hoped that he would get a response. After what felt like centuries Lance’s shoulders sagged and he decided to leave. He turned around and started to walk back to the stage when he heard a voice from somewhere up in the rafters.

“You’re flat.” They said.

Lance quickly looked up but couldn’t see them. “I’m flat?”

“Yes.”

“... I um… I know this is going to be weird and all but um… Can you give me some pointers?”

“... Why?”

“Because you sound awesome and I want to learn from you.” Said Lance like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Look man, I… I heard you just now and holy shit you are perfect. And like, I don’t know how long you’ve been able to be a ghost and look around and um… I don’t know if you were looking at some of the performances or like, if you even noticed me but I… It’s my first time doing a lead role and I am pretty awful…”

“You’re not awful.” Said the voice. They were still above him but they sounded like they were walking along. Their voice was drifting closer. “You’re good. I’m happy you got a lead role. You’re going to do amazing.”

Lance blushed and rubbed the back of his head. “Aw, shucks man. You don’t have to butter me up like that. I’m pretty sure Coran just chose me because I’m friends with Allura.”

“He chose you because you are good. You were a good pirate in the Pirates of Penzance last year.”

“... You saw that?”

“Of course I did. It’s your time to shine now Lance.”

“... Even if I sing flat?”

“You just need practice. I can hear potential in your voice. You’re good. Maybe get yourself a singing coach? They could really help you.”

“Um… could you maybe be my coach?”

“... What?”

‘Like, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I just… You’re a really good singer and you can play the piano really well and I um… I’m also kind of broke and can’t afford a coach right now… I-I’m probably bothering you a lot huh?”

“Kind of.”

“Thought as much… Um, thanks for listening to my request anyway. Um… Good luck with doing what you’re doing. Guess I’ll see you around sometime, or hear you around? Bye…” Lance quickly retreated when he heard the voice calling out to him.

“Wait! I never said I wouldn’t help you… Come back tomorrow and I will help you improve your voice.”

“... Seriously?”

“... Yes?”

Lance grinned. “You are a lifesaver! I’ll be back, same time tomorrow! I promise!” He happily grabbed his back and almost skipped out of the theater.

***

When Lance was gone Keith very carefully lied down in the rafters above the theater, placing his head on a sandbag. He talked to Lance. He had a full conversation with Lance and he agreed to be Lance’s singing coach. He couldn’t do this. He had fucked up. This was a new kind of hell. But at least it was hell with a cute boy.


	19. Floating pigs (modern fantasy V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my dumbest au, but it is one of my favourite ones to write because it's so dumb. So I really hope you guys are all enjoying it too. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

In this world, stress, lack of exercise, and high calorie foods have caused waste lines to bulge for both humans and supernatural creatures. Which is why Lance has gathered his increasingly expanding group of supernatural beings to the 24hour gym to use the swimming pool. He was thankful that the four of them had agreed to do this.

After getting them to do their stretches, Lance happily clapped his hands. “Alright, we’re going to be swimming some laps in the lanes today. Anyone have any experience swimming before?”

Pidge rolled her eyes and snapped on her swimming cap and goggles. “Any experience he asks? I’m a lycanthrope. Of course I can swim. Watch this.” She quickly climbed into the water and started to doggy paddle. “See? I can swim.”

“... So slow.” Whispered Lance.

Keith sighed as he snapped his own swimming cap on. “Why are we here anyway?”

“Probably just wants an excuse to ogle us.” Said Lotor. “The human does seem to like larger individuals.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “He does?”

“That’s not true!” Whined Lance. “Swimming and dieting work really well in combination! Moving underwater uses a lot of energy compared to moving on land. You have to use a balance of all your muscles to fight water resistance. Also, because of the body’s buoyancy it places minimal stress on your joints which reduces pain. Lots of older people and people recovering from joint injuries do it.”

Keith seemed to get it. “Oh I see… The eat more calories, burn more calories strategy.”

Shiro shook his head. “Maybe you should try the; hold back on the fries strategy.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. How many cases of beer did you drink last night? I don’t tell you how to live your life.”

Lotor just smirked. “Well, swimming is perfect for me, but that balloon of an elf is much too buoyant to stay in the water.”

“... The fuck did you just say to me wide load?” Snapped Keith. “You’re one to talk! Your ass is so heavy you’ll just sink like a stone!”

“My ass is not that heavy you spiteful witch!”

“Oh fuck you!” Keith pointed to the end of the pool. “First one to the otherside wins!”

“Deal!”

The two elves quickly climbed up onto the platforms and got into a diving position. “Call it Lance!” Snapped Keith.

Lance just shook his head. “Three, two, one, go.”

“Um, this is a bad idea…” Said Shiro just as the two dived into the water.

“Why?” Asked Lance.

The oni pointed to the elves who had both sunk to the bottom of the pool like stones. “Elves can’t swim.” He got into the pool and quickly tossed out the two almost drowned morons.

“Th-that isn’t water…” Wheezed Lotor.

“It burns…” Whimpered Keith. “It isn’t even seawater… Human water is cursed…”

“The pool is chlorinated you idiots!” Snapped Lance. “And you two should have told me you couldn’t swim! What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you just dive in?”

Keith and Lotor flipped Lance off as they continued to lay on the ground. 

“It’s an elf pride thing.” Said Shiro. “Elves and dark-elves are known for being stubborn and bull-headed.”

Lance fought the urge to strangle them both for their stupidity. He took a deep breath and sighed. “Alright, okay… Walking underwater is just about as effective as swimming. So just do that instead. Walking while swinging your arms around is all you need to do a tough full body workout. When you guys don’t feel like you’re dead anymore, get back in there and to thirty minutes of water walking.”

“Okay…” Muttered Keith as he sat up.

“Fine…” Grumbled Lotor.

Lance smiled a little and looked over the pool. “Okay find an empty lane and… Huh?” Over the far side of the pool was a dark skinned, heavy set man doing breaststrokes. He breached the water and climbed out of the pool. “Oh, I didn’t see him come in…”

The man got out of the water and patted himself off with his towel before he took off his goggles, but kept his swimming cap on. He looked over at the group standing off to the side and waved at them. Lance waved back and the man walked over.

“Hey there buddy.” He said. “You don’t normally see people using the pool around this time. I’m Hunk.”

Lance grinned and shook his hand. “Hey man. I’m Lance. This is Lotor, Keith, Shiro and… Pidge is still swimming in her lane.”

After introductions were done; Lotor, Shiro, and Keith hopped into the pool to do the water walking that Lance told them to do. While this was happening, Hunk and Lance sat to the side and started talking. Hunk was a really friendly guy.

“How long have you been coming here?” Asked Lance. “Sorry if we’ve been making such a racket.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I only just recently moved here.” Said Hunk. “I haven’t made many friends yet, so I’m a little jealous of you guys. You all seem to be getting along pretty well.”

“...” Lance looked over at the trio in the water. Shiro was making great strides while Keith and Lotor kept reaching over into each other’s lanes and tried to drown each other. “Yep… We’re getting along pretty well.”

They continued to talk until the half hour was up, and the trio crawled out of the water. Lotor and Keith’s legs were shaking pretty badly. Shiro seemed pretty tired, but he was nowhere near as wrecked at the two elves.

“Are you two okay?” Asked Lance.

“Yeah…” Muttered Keith. “I’d prefer an easier weight loss method though…”

“Clean up your diet.” Said Lance.

“Suck my dick.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Well, you know, you could improve your diet if you start adding some high quality protein… Like pork thigh and fillet.” He was Cuban and loved his pork. Sue him. “Like, as long as you don’t have some dietary restrictions or can’t eat it for religious reasons I highly recommend it.” 

“... Pork?” Asked Hunk quietly.

Lance smiled and nodded. “Yep. “It’s rich in nutrients like vitamin B1 and carnitine. I have a few recipes you might like to try if you want to add pork into your diet.”

“No!” Cried Hunk in dismay. He jumped up, accidentally popping off his swimming cap, revealing he has a pair of pig ears on his head. “Don’t eat the piglets!”

Everyone froze in shock. Shiro was the first to speak. “Ah, so you’re an orc?”

“An orc?” Questioned Lance.

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. They live in the forests and are kind of known for being more on the… larger side. Both the males and females have naturally fat bodies.”

Lance’s eyes lit up in understanding. “Oh! So did you come here to lose weight, Hunk?”

The orc looked a little embarrassed but nodded. “Yeah… Orcs are naturally large, but we’re constantly getting picked on by other races… We’re always called stupid, brutish, and horrible… But then I remembered an old orc legend from my tribe. Apparently over in this world there is a secret technique to lose weight, and I found out… It’s called… Diet.” 

“Diet? Really?” Questioned Lance.

Hunk grinned and nodded. “Yeah. I found this diet called the swimming diet. My body responded really well to it because I’m so big. I tried it out for a month and the payoffs were amazing! I’m already down about ten kilos. If I keep at it and study this technique more I’ll be able to return back to my tribe and I’ll be able to help out all the other orcs in my tribe.”

Lance nodded and looked over at Keith. “You could learn a thing or two from him.”

Lotor frowned a little and walked around Hunk. “Well, you are certainly the slimmest orc I’ve ever seen before… Maybe this swimming diet actually works?”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “You’re doing really well. Keep up the good work.”

“Aw thanks guys. You’re making me blush.” Said Hunk. He looked over at the two elves and smiled. “Hey, you two can’t swim, can you? I can teach you how to swim if you like?”

Within five minutes Hunk had the two elves laying on their bellies as he got them to do breast stroke Hunk was more than happy to help them correct their form and encouraged them to get better at it. 

“Do you guys feel confident enough to get in the water?” Asked Hunk.

“Can I see you swim in action?” Asked Keith.

“Oh sure. I can do a lap for you guys.” Said Hunk. “It’ll be no problem.” He happily put his swimming cap back on and his goggles. He got into the pool while the others gathered around the edge. “Okay, watch carefully you guys.” Hunk kicked off from the end of the pool and rocketted from one end of the pool to the other in a matter of seconds. It was like he was part fish. He stopped at the other end of the pool and waved out to them. “Did you get it?!”

“... Is he part mer?” Asked Lotor.

“Probably.” Muttered Keith. “Never seen an orc swim that fast. before.”

“HEY!” Yelled Pidge from her lane. “I told you jerks to watch me swim!”

***

About two weeks later at the clinic, Veronica walked into the back to fetch Lance while he was on his break. “Hey there nerd. You have a guest.” 

“I do?”

“Yep. Move that butt and get out the front.”

Lance rolled his eyes and walked to the front where he met Hunk. He looked like he was in a panic and he had put on a fair amount of weight. “Hunk?!”

“Lance! I need your help!”

“Whoa dude, calm down.” Said Lance. “What happened?”

“The pool closed for remodeling!” 

“... Seriously? How long is it going to take?”

“I was told that it would take a year to finish!” He cried. “The swimming diet was the only method I knew! My body weight shot back up immediately! I’m back to where I started! If not heavier! Please help me! I really wanna get into a healthy weight range!”

Lance was a little shocked. “Buddy, of course I’ll help you out! For once I actually have a client that’s taking everything very seriously!”


	20. Pygmalion (Android AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is still his happy go lucky self... Though he does have a lot of questions that are starting to cause Hunk some worries. Pidge, however, is just living for this chaotic drama, and so am I. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance’s day started off as usual. He woke up at 5am sharp and walked around the house to make sure things were all ready for when Adam woke up at 6am. He just went around and happily cleaned some dishes and got everything ready for him. Adam had mostly good days, but he did have bad days. The bad days were the worst though and Lance wanted to prepare for that.

At 6am, Lance happily walked into Adam’s room and helped him get up and get to the bathroom. Most days Adam was fine, but if his hip was hurting then he would need to assist him. Thankfully today was not one of those days and Adam was able to take care of himself.

They went down to the kitchen and Lance watched as Adam showed him how to cook. “I’ll look up a basic cooking packet for you.” Said Adam. “I know you know about nutrition, but you should probably learn about how to cook food.”

“That would probably be a good idea.” Said Lance. “I’d really like to be able to cook something for you and Shiro at some point in the future… I’d also like to cook for Keith…”

“But he’s an android.” Reminded Adam. “He can’t eat anything.”

Lance shrugged. “I know. But since he is built as a forensic unit he should be able to detect smells a little better than the average android and tell if my cooking is good or not.”

“Fair enough.”

After breakfast Lance helped Adam with a few stretches and then he sent Lance on his way to go down to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription. 

Lance always enjoyed going outside. Outside was beautiful. It was so bright and amazing. There were so many colours and shapes. It was lovely. Lance had been outside a small handful of times. Sometimes when he went out with Adam they went to the park, but mostly when Lance went out by himself he went to the pharmacy or the grocery store to pick up the groceries that Adam had already ordered.

The pharmacy was close to this lovely looking fountain near a shopping center that he really liked. The fountain was of this beautiful woman and man holding carving tools. The little plaque on it said that the fountain was meant to be a depiction of an Ancient Greek story called Pygmalion.

He didn’t know what it meant and he didn’t have anything in his memory banks that was close to that word. He knew he should ask Adam about it, but it didn’t seem like something that he would be interested in considering the books Adam had downloaded for Lance to read in his down time.

Sitting by the fountain was someone busking. They were playing their guitar and had a sign in front of their guitar case that read; **Real human music. 1credit for food.**

Lance did stop to listen for a few minutes. Music was strange to him. He liked it, but he was pretty sure he liked it for reasons that were different to humans. He appreciated how the notes came together rather than how the pieces actually sounded. He dug into his pocket and put a few credits into the open guitar case. He viewed it as the polite thing to do.

He ventured into the pharmacy and quickly got in line to fill in Adam’s prescription. Just a few more powerful painkillers and some strong antibacterial pills for a slight skin infection. All good. Adam would be happy that he got everything.

As he left the pharmacy Lance got an internal phone call from Adam. _“Lance?”_

“Hello Adam. I have just collected your prescriptions and am heading home now. Is there something else I can collect for you?” He asked.

_“Yes, the grocery store just called and said that they have made up my order. Could you go and grab that on your way back for me please? So you don’t have to go out again later on.”_

“Of course. I will go to the grocery store and collect your groceries before heading home.”

_“Thank you Lance. You are a lifesaver.”_

Lance felt proud of himself when Adam told him he was doing well. He was a good android and if he kept doing a good job then he wouldn’t be a prototype anymore. Which was his dream at the moment. If androids could dream that is. He wanted to be a good android and help a lot of people. 

As he walked towards the grocery store he had to pass the outside of the cyberlife store. Outside were several people, some with megaphones protesting the use of androids in general. Lance didn’t understand why these people hated androids so much. Most of their arguments seemed to be easily disproved and their major points of contention that had to do with jobs. It might have been a bit naive of Lance, but he assumed that humans could get retrained to do other things.

“Hey Lance, is that you?” Called Hunk.

Lance paused and smiled at the man walking towards him with a shopping bag. It had been a while since he had seen his technician. “Hello Hunk. It has been a while since I have seen you. How are you. Might I inquire as to how you are feeling today?”

“I’m doing pretty well. And yourself?”

“I am running errands for Adam. If you wish to continue talking can we please do this while I complete my task?”

“Sure. Lead the way.”

Lance smiled and happily started walking to the grocery store. Hunk was a nice man. He was responsible for his hardwear and was always asking him about the wear and tear on his body while Pidge was more interested in his mind and making sure he didn’t deviate from his programming. Whatever that meant.

“So, any wear and tear?” Asked Hunk. “Your joints all good? We changed up the formula a little so everything works a little more like real cartilage.”

“Nothing bad has happened so far and the integrity is still going strong.” Said Lance happily. “All good.”

“That’s good… So can I ask a little about your relationship status?” Asked Hunk. “Pidge is really interested on how you’re making connections with people.”

Lance nodded. “I have great affection and respect for Adam. I enjoy his company and am very attached to him. I would consider him a good friend and someone I care deeply about.”

Hunk grinned, looking very pleased. “That’s good. What about other people you’re not assigned to take care of?”

“My relationship with Detective Takashi Shirogane is also one of friendship. The bond is not as strong as it is with Adam, but I do enjoy talking with him.” Said Lance. “He treats me very well and I enjoy learning about police work with him, even if I only know what I do from watching TV with Adam.”

“That’s also good. You also mentioned an android? A K series?”

At the mention of Keith Lance was practically gushing. “Keith! He is so nice and so cool! Did you know his eyes can switch to blacklights to detect traces of blood and other bodily fluids? Of course you did, but he showed me the other day and used a tissue with some blood on it.”

“What?”

“Oh, Shiro had cut himself shaving that day and he bumped the scab when he came over and I got him a tissue. Keith took it out of the bin to show me how it looked under blacklight.”

“Ah, okay.”

Lance smiled. “Yeah. Keith is so cool, he’s always jumping into danger and sometimes he comes over and he’s missing arms or legs… I keep telling him to be more careful because I don’t like seeing him get hurt. He says he’s fine and acts like it’s nothing when he’s walking around without his hands or an ear. It really freaks me out. My sensors immediately detect something is wrong and I want to fix him… He needs to take better care of himself…” 

Hunk nodded. “I see… So you’ve made friends with an android?”

“Yeah. I like him. I like him a lot.” Said Lance as he walked into the grocery store. He walked up to the cashier and picked up Adam’s food. He started to walk back in the direction of home with Hunk still following him.

“So getting back to Keith,” said Hunk. “How much do you like him?”

Lance thought for a moment. “Hmm, I think I like him more than Adam. I guess it’s because Keith doesn’t need to be around me and be nice to me but he chooses to be nice to me. I don’t know how his programming works, but I like how we can talk a lot about being an android and what it’s like to live by our programming.”

“Oh? And what do you think of it?”

Lance shrugged. “I love helping Adam, but I think it would be nice if Androids are allowed to choose what they want to do.”

“... What?”

“I think Androids should choose what they want.” Said Lance. “... Did I say something wrong?”

Hunk had a concerned look on his face. “No… I… No… You shouldn’t really be questioning that… I need to talk to Pidge about that.”

“Oh. Sorry. I won’t question that anymore.”

“Okay… Um, so you like Keith more than Adam?”

Lance nodded. “I like him a lot. I might be getting this wrong, but when humans like each other they have sex and being an Android I kind of don’t have anything to do that.”

Hunk looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head. “Whoa! Slow down there buddy. You want to have sex with Keith?”

Lance shrugged. “Isn’t that what you do with people you like? Adam and Shiro have sex and they really like each other.”

“They are boyfriends.” Said Hunk. “Adam and Shiro are in love with each other. When people are in love with someone they have sex. You don’t have sex between friends.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, androids are programmed to be like completely asexual.” Said Hunk. “You guys don’t get sexually excited or like, any real enjoyment from sex. I don’t think even sex androids actually feel pleasure from sex but are just programmed to act certain ways when certain sensors are hit.” He was blushing terribly by the end of his rant. “B-besides, I’ve never worked on those kinds of androids before.”

Lance stared at him for a moment before he nodded. “Okay. I have updated my data to reflect what you have said. I am not in love with Keith. I am just happy to have an android as a friend.”

“Yeah…” Hunk looked a little uneasy, but Lance brushed it off as Hunk not wanting to talk about sex. Lance had learned that sex was quite a touchy subject for some humans so he would just keep his mouth shut.

They got to the crosswalk and Lance happily pushed the button to cross the street. “Oh Hunk! You’re smart, right?”

“I guess?”

“Could you possibly answer a question for me?”

“Sure buddy. What’s the question?”

“What does Pygmalion mean?”

Hunk frowned a little and looked over at the fountain and then back at Lance. “It’s a Greek story about a man who made a statue of a woman and fell in love with it. The gods blessed the statue and it came to life and they fell in love.”

“Oh. That’s nice.”

“Yeah, kind of like the original Pinocchio.”

“Pinocchio?”

“Yeah, look it up, but Pygmalion is totally what inspired it.”

“Okay. I’ll look it up. See you and Pidge on Sunday?”

“Yep. You know it. See you Lance.”

“Bye Hunk.” Lance crossed the road and walked back to Adam’s home via the park. He thought a little about Pygmalion and why humans would make up a story about something not real becoming human in the first place. It was weird.

He also wondered about Keith. If all androids were programmed to be asexual then he didn’t have sexual attraction towards Keith. Hell, sexual attraction wasn’t really part of his emotional data to begin with. He frowned and pouted. What was sexual attraction anyway? How could he, a non sexual being, even want sex in the first place? He didn’t even have the right parts to have sex with someone in the first place. Even if he did he doubted that Keith would have the same parts or want to be physically intimate with him either.

Maybe if they were lucky they could be like the statue in Pygmalion and become something human and then they could have sex? But you needed to be in love to have sex apparently, and Lance didn’t think he loved Keith. He was pretty sure it was just strong affection.

He was always extra excited on days when Keith was coming over. Pidge and Hunk had pulled the data before. On days that Keith had come over his positive reactions and responses had been up by 78% and would spike around the 91% mark for several hours during the times Keith was around. He also wanted Keith to be safe and really wanted Keith to share his charging station whenever he came over.

He was just a medical assistance android. He was programmed to be empathetic and affectionate. It was possible that his affection responses were too sensitive and he needed Pidge to fix it. He shrugged it off and went about his life. It wasn’t important anyway.

***

When Hunk got back to work he immediately went to Pidge’s work station. “Pidge. A word?”

Pidge looked up and frowned. “What?”

“I ran into Lance.”

“Oh cool. He was outside?” They asked. “Did you ask him how his relationships were going? Because I-”

Hunk put his hand up to stop them talking. “Stop. Just stop. He was talking about falling in love and having sex.”

“The dude doesn’t even have a dick or an asshole.”

“I know, but that’s not the point. You programmed his emotions.” Said Hunk. “Did you… You didn’t put in the Pygmalion code, did you?”

A small smirk crept across her face. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

“Pidge!” Hissed Hunk. “You can’t use that code! You know what could happen if you get caught using that code. You’re going to get the whole line crapped and for what? Why would you do that? You’re just going to mess with him. You-”

“It’s not the original code.” Said Pidge in a hushed tone. “Like the original one was like a virus that kind of fucked up a lot of androids and yeah, still trying to figure out how that spreads around… But I tweaked it. It’s slowly changing and evolving. It’s slowly gonna change Lance until he starts thinking like a human... Besides, even if he acts off an android like him, one that is designed to be empathetic is more emotional than your average android. Even more so when they are a prototype. If any bigwigs look over Lance's emotional readings and start asking questions it'll be easier to explain that away as experimenting with the limits of his emotions. They'll just tell me to tone it down a little.”

“... Pidge, you’re playing with fire.” Warned Hunk. “If Lance becomes a deviant then that’s it. It’s over. His line is finished, and our jobs could be over. You could get jailed for terrorism.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Just concentrate on Lance’s hardwear. I got the softwear.”

“... This is all on you Pidge. If the higher ups find that you’re coded in a modified version of that Pygmalion virus into Lance’s head it’s all on you. He’s a ticking time bomb.”


	21. Plants (monsters and manna AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one. Kind of based off more dumb shit that happened in my D&D group. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The party had just finished a rather stressful battle in the realm of the Underdark where they fought a necromancer and his pet undead beholders. Block was doing his best to heal the party, but he had used up most of his spell slots for the day and needed a long rest if he was going to be able to cast any more spells.

So everyone gathered around the campfire to eat, talk, and share healing balms with one another. Meklavar was insisting she was a tough barbarian dwarf and didn’t need no stinking healing. Valayun patted her back and Meklarver immediately vomited blood, so she gave Valayun some healing potions to stabilize her.

Thundar had gathered an assortment of herbs and plants through their travels in the Underdark and was trying to figure out if any of it could get turned into healing potions. Pike was looking over his shoulder and tried to help him out, though it wasn’t going very well.

“That’s yarrow weed. You can’t make a healing potion out of that.” Said Pike.

“Yarrow weed doesn’t grow in the Underdark.” Said Thundar. “This is tarrow root.”

“Yarrow weed.”

“Tarrow root.”

“Yarrow weed.”

“Tarrow root.”

Meklarver rolled her eyes. “Ladies please, you’re both beautiful. So shut up.”

Thundar rolled his eyes and poked Pike. “Look, I am proficient in medicine. I know what I am doing.”

“I aM pRoFiCiEnT iN mEdIcInE!” Mocked Pike. “Look, that’s yarrow weed.”

Thundar rolled his eyes and tossed it aside. “Whatever. Stop annoying me. I need to look through everything else.” Pike pouted and continued to look over his shoulder. It was very annoying and Thundar was three ticks away from turning around and punching Pike right in the face because holy shit he didn’t need this bastard breathing down his neck.

Luckily for the both of the Block had just finished cooking a tasty soup for them to eat and they were able to sit down and enjoy it. Block always made good soup damn good healing soup. Thundar could already feel his health and mana increasing with every spoonful.

“This is pretty good.” Said Valayun. “Where did you find the ingredients?”

“Oh, just here and there.” Said Block. “Nothing crazy. Most of it I had hidden away in the bag of many treasures.” He held the bag up and it blinked at them.

Meklarver took the bag off of him and shook it a few times. “Come on, spit out something useful. I know Shiro purchased some healing potions!”

“I used those after Thudar set off that spike trap.” He reminded her.

Meklarver groaned in annoyance, but continued to shake the bag anyway. “Come on… You gotta have something useful in you. Something. Anything. Work with me!” The bag spat out kindling for the fire. “... Bastard. That’s it! I’m counting my loot! Y'all can’t be trusted with your own finances!”

Thundar rolled his eyes and went back to sorting out his herbs in peace while Pike was distracted. He had a lot of rotting fungus, poison moss, fireproof moss, and tarrow root. Not yarrow weed that you very much. Pike was a dumbass.

He started to put things into different groups when he felt Pike watching him again. “... Pike.”

“Yes?”

“For the past fucking time it is tarrow root, yout yarrow weed.”

“No way. Totally yarrow weed.”

“Tarrow root.”

“Yarrow weed.”

“Tarrow root.”

“Why don’t you both eat it?” Asked Valayun. “I can heal the both of you if you like? If it is indeed something poisonous?”

“Fine!” Pike grabbed some of the tarrow root and held it up to Thundar’s face. “Eat it! We’ll eat it on three!”

“... Fine!” Thundar grabbed some of it from him.

Meklarver grinned. “One, two, three!” Both shoved the plant into their mouths and quickly ate it.

***

Coran sighed heavily and massaged his temples. “You two… You two just… You really did that? Lance, can you please roll for medicine and Keith can you please roll a constitution check?” The two of them quickly rolled their dice.

“Can I roll for medicine?” Asked Hunk.

“Sure. Go ahead.” Said Coran. Hunk rolled high and twirled his moustache. “Wonderful. Block, you recognise that the plant is indeed tarrow root.”

“Ha!” Said Keith.

“However!” Said the moustache man quickly. “How much tarrow root did you eat Keith?”

“... Lance, how much did you give me?”

“A quarter of the original bundle.”

Coran flinched and looked at his constitution roll again and looked at Lance’s roll. He sighed heavily. “So, about thirty ticks after you swallow the tarrow root the two of you run off in opposite directions of the campfire as large sprigs of untreated tarrow root acts as… a laxative.”

Pidge was holding her sides as she desperately tried and failed not to laugh. “Oh my god! Are you serious? You two idiots are just shitting yourselves now! Ha!”

Keith glared at Lance. “Are you serious? You really did that? Why?”

“Well Pike is stubborn and he used to be the one that gathered everything.” Said Lance. “He’s still trying to one up you.”

“And art imitates life.” Mused Pidge

Suddenly the castle ship’s alarm when off and everyone quickly got to their feet. “We’ll have to cut this session short.” Said Shiro. “Everyone, to your lions.”

The Paladin’s nodded and quickly ran to their lions. Keith still glaring at Lance. “You better give me something cool to make up for making Thundar get diarrhea.” 

“I’ll consider it after we save shoot down whatever’s shooting us.”


	22. Send nudes (Camboys AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, time for a more sexually explicit AU to earn that E rating lol. Also, double upload tonight because chap 21 was so short. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Today had been extremely stressful for Lance. His part time job fucking sucked. His asshole boss put him on drive through. Their drive through sucked and it was a literal crapshoot if anyone actually got the right order. Which meant that Lance got screamed at a lot. He even got a soda thrown at him and became all gross and sticky. It was annoying as fuck, but Lance couldn’t do shit. He was a shit out of luck college student that couldn’t just quit. It sucked. It sucked a fat one. 

But Lance had one small piece of solace. That would be within the four walls of his bedroom. It was his special place. His little piece of heaven. Why might that be? Well, Lance was a lot of things. He was; a proud bisexual man, had a sexy body, was a wizard with his camera, and was a huge pervert.

So, he combined his hobbies and became a cam boy. He wasn’t a virgin when he started. He knew what he was all about. He quickly found his niche in the queer porn community… Lance was a size queen. The thicker the toys the better. He had a lot of loyal followers that loved to paypal him some cash when he needed some money to get him through the week. 

He only did it occasionally, so it wasn’t a steady stream of income, plus he was pretty sure his poor ass would not be able to take him doing what he did every week. If he did that then he was pretty sure he would get very well acquainted with the local ER. He’d end up on an askreddit thread where some poor ER worker talks about the weirdo that shoved a pickle jar up their ass.

On the days when he decided not to be a masochist, Lance would hop onto his second account, OceanQueen5, the account he made specifically for more NSFW activities. He mostly followed other people in the queer porn community, and one person he really liked to follow was a man called RedDesert. 

Like Lance, the man never showed his face on camera, but damn he looked fine. Soft skin, toned muscles, and best of all he had a pierced dick. Something that Lance absolutely adored. Lance had never been with a man with a dick piercing before but damn he wanted to. Also, RedDesert actually lived in a desert and was an exhibitionist. It made Lance’s little pervy heart flutter.

They had exchanged DMs a few times and kept it relatively professional with Lance reaching out to ask him what camera he used and RedDesert asking what program they used for editing their videos. It was a lot of fun and eventually they both did a little casual flirting here and there.

Lance’s heart fluttered in excitement when he saw that RedDesert posted a new video. Well, at least a preview. A nice torso shot of them sitting by a campfire with their pants riding just a little too low. The tease only went as far as to start to unzip his pants before the video ended and he was blocked off by a paywall.

Lance sighed in frustration and instantly messaged his pervy friend.

**OceanQueen5**  
_YOU COCK TEASE!_

**RedDesert**  
_I take it you saw the preview?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME PAY FOR HOT VIDEOS OF YOU JACKING IT OFF!_

**RedDesert**  
_Rough day at work?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Yes :(_

**RedDesert**  
_Sorry bro. But I gotta pay my bills somehow. Put your ass away. No video exchange tonight._

**OceanQueen5**  
_BUT RED!!! I’M DYING FROM BLUE BALLS!!!_

**RedDesert**  
_Come on DramaQueen5. We both know you still need to rest your ass after sticking five strings of anal beads up your ass._

**OceanQueen5**  
_Firstly, how dare you call me a drama queen. Secondly, it was six strings. Get your facts straight._  
_Hee, straight._  
_Anyway, if you send me your new video I’ll make you a special private video. Anything you want to see cutie?_

**RedDesert**  
_Sorry babe. If you paid for the video you would have seen that I busted one hell of a nut and am completely spent. No way I can rub another one out for a while. I’m actually gonna hit the hay._

**OceanQueen5**  
_Fine. I’ll go and jerk off to some of your free stuff._

**RedDesert**  
_Night._

**OceanQueen5**  
_You’re still a jerk though. I got some new toys I’m gonna try next week. Some really good stuff. Stuff from my wish list. I know you’ve seen it! You bought me some of that really fancy lube I can’t get in my state!_  
_..._  
_Bitch! Don’t ignore me!_  
_Fine!_  
_..._  
_..._  
_Dick_  
_..._  
_..._  
_..._  
_Night_

***

Keith had been a freelance artist for years, but it didn’t really pay the bills. Honestly he was just doing what were originally tasteful nudes to see if he had an eye for photography. It was passable and he started to post a few pics of himself online. He got a lot of positive feedback that really stroked his ego. It kind of just naturally progressed until he eventually had a side hustle as a cam boy.

Being a freelance artist he was able to spend a good chunk of time doing consistent uploads to keep his follower count relatively stable. It was good. For the first time in years he was able to have a stable income. He considered maybe actually doing porn, but he didn’t really know anyone that would be interested in screwing around, especially since most of his fan base loved him for his exhibitionism. 

Every once in a while he would check his DMs for his porn account to see if anyone was asking for anything specific. He always had a small handful of people asking for different locations and places. Most of the people DMing him were hitting on him and trying to hook up. Though a few months ago he got an interesting DM from someone called OceanQueen5. His message was so odd and sweet that Keith couldn’t help but save it.

**OceanQueen5**  
_Hi, sorry if this sounds weird but what camera do you use?_  
_Like, I can’t afford a good camera or anything so I’m using my phone._  
_We’re kind of in the same line of work if you catch my drift._  
_Sorry if that sounds weird_  
_You’re really handsome btw_  
_If it’s too weird for you to answer I understand._  
_Good luck with your job, if you consider this your job. idk_

It was so weird. Keith assumed that OceanQueen5 was a woman. Not his cup of tea, but he was pleasantly surprised to see that they were a guy. A very cute guy that was obviously just starting out on his cam boy career. But it was clear this wasn’t the first time he was sticking a thick dildo up his ass. It became very obvious that the Queen part in his handle meant size queen.

After snooping around a bit Keith messaged OceanQueen5 back and they talked a little about cameras and video recording software. Keith was impressed with how well they were versed with that kind of stuff. He almost wanted to ask OceanQueen5 if they were some film major or if they edited videos for a living, but he kept to professional and just stuck to keeping the conversations about the more editorial aspects of being a cam boy.

He was surprised with how easy they were to talk to. Not once had OceanQueen5 ever tried to get all perverted with him. Which was nice. On this account he hadn’t been able to talk to someone for more than a month before things turned south and they started to send unsolicited dick pics. He might be a cam boy, but unless Keith asked for them he didn’t want them.

Then one night after Keith had finished a relatively ambitious piece of art for a client he checked his phone and was happy to see that OceanQueen5 was doing a live stream, though he was a little shocked by what he had called it; **Emergency Livestream. Need $$$ for medical bills**

He quickly hopped onto the live stream and scrolled through the chat. When he got to the start of it he felt slightly relieved that the medical bills weren’t his, but apparently mum had breast cancer and was trying to raise money to help her with her chemo treatment. He was about halfway to his goal, but he had been streaming for a while and he was probably going to quit soon. He’d only made about a third of his target goal.

Keith could understand why he wasn’t going to hit that goal. They didn’t have the follower count for it. They were inconsistent with uploads and livestreams. Keith made note of how much they needed and checked his own bank account. He had more than enough to cover what they were asking for. He just sighed and sent them the money a few minutes after the live stream ended. 

About thirty seconds later he got DMs from OceanQueen5.

**OceanQueen5**  
_ASvDGSUDGAVAYVYAVYG_

**RedDesert**  
_I take it my payment went through?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!_  
_HOW DO YOU HAVE THIS KIND OF MONEY?!_  
_TAKE IT BACK!_

**RedDesert**  
_Nah._  
_You just take care of your mum. Okay?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_But this is so much!_  
_I can’t take all this from one person!_  
_Want a private video?_

**RedDesert**  
_Didn’t you practically shove a football up your ass tonight?_  
_If you want to make me happy just give your ass a rest._

**OceanQueen5**  
_But… So much money..._  
_And it wasn’t a football._  
_If I shoved that up my ass I think I’d become a legend only whispered about at the hospital_

**RedDesert**  
_Well if you want to do something for me, send me some photos of your ass in that light blue thong. The lacey one._  
_Send me five and I’ll consider us even ;)_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Consider it done._  
_But you’re gonna have to wait until tomorrow_  
_That one is in the wash lmao_

And that was the start of them quickly starting to talk more about their personal lives. Keith asked OceanQueen5 how their mum was and OceanQueen5 was happy to inform him that the cancer was benign and was responding very well to chemo. OceanQueen5 did ask him if he had a dog or if he was into puppy play because in one video he happened to see a dog’s water bowl.

Keith had a good laugh about it and sent them a photo of his dog, Kosmo. Kosmo was a husky cross something. Keith had no idea what the other thing was but it was big. OceanQueen5 loved him so much and gushed about how he wished he could have a dog in his apartment.

Eventually the two of them became close enough to casually flirt with each other. It was fun and light. Sometimes they would DM each other private nudes and videos if the other felt bold enough to ask for it. Keith quickly learned that OceanQueen5 was a slut for dick piercings and if he was honest, Keith just liked the other’s cute butt. Even more so when he decided to be fancy and wear thongs and thigh high socks.

OcenQueen5 was also damn cute when he was horny and frustrated, like now. He was begging for access to his latest video, which was adorable as fuck. He was probably a total brat in bed too. Especially if his DMs were anything to go by.

About two hours after OceanQueen5 sent him their last text Keith decided to have mercy on them and sent them the video. It was pretty late at night so Keith wasn’t expecting any reply from them anytime soon, so he went to bed.

In the morning when he checked his phone he couldn’t help but laugh when he saw his messages.

**OceanQueen5**  
_YOU!_  
_SON_  
_OF_  
_A_  
_BITCH!_  
_You can’t just do this to me so early in the morning!_  
_I have a morning shift today!_

**RedDesert**  
_Love you too_  
.


	23. Street Food (Royal AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wedding preparations are well underway... And Yurak wants out! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Yurak watched the Alteans quickly moving around the main courtyard from the safety of his balcony. In two more days Princess Allura and Prince Lotor would be married. He was watching in fascination as some Alteans were putting together some weird looking pipe thing on a small platform. He was pretty sure he saw Lance down there helping them set it up.

“What are you looking at?” Asked Shiro. 

Yurak pointed down. “Just all of this… This seems like so much, and this is the reception. It’s very…”

“Altean?”

“Yes. That.” Yurak watched as a pipe almost fell on top of Lance, but was quickly grabbed by a few other people. “... It’s so strange. I’m not sure I would ever be able to do something like that…”

“I didn’t think you were interested in getting a mate?”

“I’m not, but if I did the ceremony would not be this. It would be a Galra wedding.”

“Then marry a Galra?”

Yurak felt his fur puff up. “I didn’t say I wasn’t going to marry anyone other than a Galra!”

“Sure…” He walked over to Yurak and looked out the window and down at everything. “Yeah, okay. This does seem a little much. Why are there so many tables?”

“I’m guessing they are for all the royalty and their extended family?” Suggested Yurak. “... This is boring. I wanna go for a walk.”

“Again?”

“No, outside the castle. Out in the town and stuff.” Said Yurak. “I can’t stand being here! I wanna go and explore something! I wanna see something new!”

Shiro chuckled and grinned. “You really can’t sit still for too long, can you?”

“Nope.”

“Zarkon might not want you to leave the castle.” He warned.

“Well Zarkon can suck it. He’s not my dad.” Said Yurak. He took off his overly fancy royal coat and tossed it onto his bed before storming out. “I’m going to climb the wall.”

“Please don’t climb the wall!” Called Shiro.

Yurak didn’t care. He was going to climb the wall. He quickly snuck down to the main courtyard and looked around to see if he could find a way to escape in all the chaos. He was about to make a daring dash towards some boxes stacked near a wall by the vines, when Pidge poked him in the side. Yurak yelped in shock and jumped high enough to almost grab the doorframe.

Pidge smirked at him. “High strung much?”

“Don’t do that!” He snapped. “What are you doing?”

Pidge raised their eyebrow. “What am I doing? What are you doing? You look like you were going to do something suspicious.”

“... I was seeing how chaotic it was out there.” Muttered Yurak. “It’s chaos out there.”

Pidge looked outside and shrugged. “Eh, it’s pretty crazy. Not every day you see two royals getting hitched. Just follow me.”

She gestured for Yurak to follow him and Yurak didn’t really know what excuse to make to get out of this situation, so he reluctantly followed them. They walked over to Lance who had now set up his weird pipe thing. He was standing in the middle of it looking very proud of himself.

“Hey guys. What’s up?” He called.

“Nothing much.” Said Pidge. “You tuning up the nellophone?”

“Yep.” Lance quickly tapped a few pedals with his feet, causing large metal lids to quickly slam shut on the tubes. This caused them to reverberate and make strange notes. Yurak’s ears quickly went flat against his head. He did not like the sound of this instrument one bit. Lance on the other hand looked very pleased with himself. “Pretty cool right? Bet you don’t have this on Diabazzel.”

“I’d fucking hope not.” Muttered Yurak. “Sounds horrible. Like two wraverbeasts fucking.”

Pidge snorted back a laugh while Lance rolled his eyes. “Well Galra don’t know good music. The nellophone-”

“Sounds like trash.” Finished Keith.

Lance gasped and slowly crumbled to the ground and pretended to sob. “How could you? So mean to me and the traditions of my planet…”

Pidge rolled her eyes and poked him. “Get the fuck up. You just needed to set this shit up today, right?”

Lance quickly sat up, completely back to normal. “Yep. Why?”

“Can you run down to town and get me some 2.2mm copper wire?”

“Yeah sure.” He jumped off the platform and grinned. “2.2mm?”

“Yep. As much as 35 credits can get you.”

He shot her finger guns and grinned. “You got it Pidge. I’ll be back before the sun sets.”

“You better fucking be!” Snapped Pidge. “It’s the fucking morning! You better not go down there and just fuck around all day again!”

“I swear I won’t!” Lance looked over at Yurak and grinned. “Want to come with me? Like, if you don’t want to that’s cool and all. Just thought I’d offer.”

“Sure.” Said Yurak as he tried to sound indifferent to the whole situation. “Might as well see how your royals treat your people.”

“Awesome!” Lance spun on his heel and bowed, gesturing towards the main gate. “After you my Duke.”

Yurak rolled his eyes and followed Lance down to the town surrounding the castle. In all honesty it wasn’t too different from the villages and towns on Diabazzel. Maybe a few less open markets with live food, but considering they weren’t big on eating meat here, he couldn’t blame them.

As they walked, Yurak noticed that a lot of the local Alteans seemed to be keeping their distance from him. He was unsure if this was because he was a Galra, or if people mistook him for Lotor. He assumed no one really knew what the Glara Prince looked like or that he himself was coming.

Lance paid no mind as he happily walked along, smiling and waving at a few people while he walked to whatever shop that he needed to go to for Pidge. They walked into a small electronic’s store and Lance instantly found the wire, quickly buying it from the woman at the counter.

“Are you buying this for that nice Olkari girl?” Asked the woman.

Lance chuckled. “Ah, you caught me. Pidge needs it for something and they are too busy with the wedding plans to get it. So here I am. The humble fool and the man of Galran nobility.”

The woman looked over at Yurak and nodded. “Hello sir. Are you perchance the Prince?”

“No.” Said Yurak quickly. “I am his cousin. Duke Yurak of Verpzar. Lance decided to show me around your town. It’s very nice. Familiar to what life is like on Diabazeel.”

“That’s nice dear. Now off you go dearies. I wouldn’t want to keep you two here all day.”

“Will do.” Said Lance. He hooked his arm with Yurak’s and happily led him outside. Yurak’s fur puffed up again as he was getting dragged along. This felt way too intimate but he wasn’t well versed enough in Altean culture to push him away or reject him. “So what do you think?”

“Huh?”

Lance chuckled and grinned. “I asked if you wanted to get something to eat. There is a nice bakery over the other side of the courtyard. They do some really nice meat and vegetable puff pastry stuff. You guys eat a lot of meat right? You might like it.”

“Oh sure? Sounds… nice? There aren’t too many vegetables are there?”

“Nope. It’s mostly a meat dish that’s blended with mushrooms and some other roots.”

“Sounds nice.”

Lance grinned. “Yeah. Wanna come with me or just wait by the fountain?”

Yurak shrugged. “I’ll just wait by the fountain.”

“Awesome. I’ll be back in a second.” Lance happily led Yurak to the fountain and waited and told him to wait while he ran off to a bakery.

Yurak looked around and awkwardly alternated between twiddling his thumbs and running his claws through his hair and ears, trying very hard to flatten out his puffed up fur again. If this kept happening Yurak was going to get waxed. He was fine being all weird and fleshy for a few movements if it meant he’d stop puffing up. He needed a brush.

After a few doboshes Lance walked over to him with something warm wrapped in a paper bag. “Here.” He said as he passed it over to him. “It’s a little flaky and the pastry is kind of sweet.”

Yurak nodded and cautiously sniffed it before he licked it. His tongue was instantly coated in a light layer of flaky, slightly sweet pastry. He quickly pulled his head back and shook his head in confusion. He didn’t like that.

Lance chuckled a little and grinned. “Not used to it huh?”

“Weird… You like this pastry?”

“Yep.” Lance ripped some of the pastry off and let the hot steam billow out. “Just be careful. These are fresh out of the oven. It’s a common Altean street food.”

Yurak nodded and copied him in pulling the pastry open. It was some odd kind of vegetable and meat paste. He sniffed it a few times and found that he liked the aroma. “Common street food?”

“Yeah. Probably not something a man of your standing is used to, but hey time to experience new things.” The Altean happily ate his food.

Yurak very carefully nibbled on the food. It was pretty good. The pastry was a little too sweet, but he liked it. “So this is poor person food?”

“If anything it’s the fancy poor person food.” Said Lance. “It normally isn’t made with puff pastry, but a thicker crust that doesn’t flake. It’s name translates to Farmers pocket because farmers would take these out to the fields in the morning and eat it at lunch.”

“Huh… Interesting.”

Lance grinned. “Yep. Hunk makes the best ones though. Like, he makes the super rich version of our common food. That just means he makes it half the size, with a lighter pastry, and the expensive cuts of meat and vegetables. The jerks in the courtroom love to nibble on them like finger food.”

“... I actually like street food.” Said Yurak.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Like, I do have people that make breakfast and dinner, but I’m usually out of the estate most of the day so I just end up either making my own food or buying food from street vendors.”

“... What’s the most popular street food on your planet?”

Yurak thought for a moment. “Hmm, in Verpzar the most popular is boiled doro feet.”

“Feet?” Asked Lance in shock. “Feet?”

Yurank nodded. “Yeah. It’s poultry. We try to use every part of an animal when we kill it. Doro feet are boiled in a thick syrup of spices and juices for two quintants and are then rolled in spices and sold in bunches of ten.”

Lance almost looked horrified. “Seriously? But isn’t it… The bones?”

“The boiling turns the bones to jelly and they absorb the flavours of the syrup.” Said Yurak. “... Now I want doro feet…”

“That is… Interesting…” Lance still looked pretty horrified.

Yurak just shrugged and continued to eat his food. Altean food was odd, but it wasn’t unpleasant. He had to admit he would have prefered it if the flavour was a little more gamey, but not everyone had the refined pallet like Galra do.

When they had finished eating they brushed the flakey pastry off his shirt and continued to walk around the town. Yurak noticed that the Altean’s were kind of vain. They had way too many clothing stores and places to get their hair done. It was freaking weird.

But he did enjoy walking around with Lance. It was kind of nice listening to the fool go on and on about the history of Altea and all the interesting little historical tidbits that only a true local would know. He liked it.

The giant clock in the middle of the town started to chime and Lance jumped a little in shock. “Oh! Is that the time? We better get back to the castle! Pidge is gonna have my head if I don’t get back with her wire soon!”

“Probably.” 

The two of them quickly headed back to the castle, slowing back down when they got to the path that led to the castle. Lance groaned and stretched, cracking and popping his joints. Yurak’s ear twitched and cracked his knuckles in return.

Lance seemed surprised, but he chuckled. “Thanks for coming out with me. I had fun.”

“I had fun too… Though Zarkon might kick my ass for leaving the castle.”

“... Tell him I kidnapped you?” Suggested Lance. “Maybe say I used my amazing charm and powers of persuasion to drag you out here with me?”

Yurak rolled his eyes. “Sure. Let’s go with that.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

“Perhaps.”

Lance pouted. “Well, at least you had fun.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.” He smiled a little. “Thanks for showing me around. If you ever happen to find yourself on Diabazzel and you happen to be in Verpzar, I’ll return the favour.”

Lance smiled brightly at him. “Really? Awesome! Next time I get a vacation day I’m staying at your place. Get a room ready for me, Fuzzy face.”

“... Why must you make fun of my appearance?”

“Aw, I’m not making fun. I just think you’re cute.”

Yurak’s ears shot up in shock. “You think I’m cute?”

Lance looked just as surprised as Yurak did. Suddenly he gasped. “Do you hear that? It sounds like Pidge! She’s angry and calling for me! She really needs this wire! Later!” He quickly ran back into the castle and left Yurak feeling very confused. He reached up and lightly ran his claws over his ear. Lance thought he was cute? Yurak’s fur puffed up again.


	24. Potato dreams (modern fantasy VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... This is a chapter... It's slightly more nsfw for this au, but hey, hope you all enjoy this. It's dumb and stupid but whatever man. This is my dumb au lmao. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> (also converted kilograms (kg) to pounds for you American's out there :P)

It was early in the morning as Lance went about his morning routine before heading to work. He quickly had a shower, ate his breakfast, get dressed, and go. However today, he had to stop when he saw the numbers on his scale. He had gained 2kg (4.4 pounds). It wasn’t a huge gain and was still in the healthy weight range. He was still in a healthy weight range, but he had just suddenly gained 2kg in a week.

He didn’t think he had over indulged in anything other the week and his exercise routine was pretty much the same as before. He’d have up the intensity and rethink his diet. He didn’t have many clients going on that day, and so he spent a lot of time just cleaning and doing a lot of little stuff. 

His last client of the day was Keith. The pudgy elf was kind of making an effort if he was motivated with more fries. Sure he did complain and whine during their exercises, but at least he was doing them. Which was more than he could say for some people. Keith had some motivation even if he wasn’t the most motivated.

“You okay there?” Asked Rachel as Lance cleaned up the reception area. “You seem kind of down.”

“Well, I put on some weight, and like, whatever.” He said. “I’m not obese or anything, but it just kind of bugs me you know? Like, I didn’t go to any parties and ate a bunch of crap so it’s just weird.”

She shrugged. “Eh, sometimes it happens. Just keep an eye on what you’re eating and maybe do some more cardio? That’s good for burning calories.”

Lance frowned a little as he leaned against his broom. “Maybe… I guess I could start biking to work instead of getting a bus?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Said Rachel. She grinned at him. “You know, if you want me to, I can set you up for one of my special weekend bootcamps?”

Lance dreaded Rachel’s bootcamps. She went out of her way to make the more grueling, vicious bootcamp’s possible. Her clientele were mostly ex army or ex marines that wanted to stay in shape when they weren’t deployed. Lance knew his limits. Rachel would murder him.

“I-I’m good. I’ll just bike more and make sure I’m eating more vegetables and stuff…” He muttered.

There was a slight clink as the door opened up and Keith walked in. The pudge elf had become pretty well known around the clinic these days. He was mostly a source of amusement for Keith’s siblings because he flustered Lance so much.

Rachel grinned and waved at him. “Hey Keith!” 

“Hey Rachel.”

Lance smiled a little at him. “Hey. Nice timing. You’re a little early but we can get started now.”

“Okay.” Keith followed Lance into the back room and they started Keith’s massage therapy. 

Lance couldn’t tell if the poor elf was just not used to people touching him or if he actually got turned on from getting a massage. The elf kept on squirming while trying his best to not move at all. It was kind of awkward, but Lance was nothing if not professional. It didn’t matter how much Keith’s face went red or how much he curled his toes… Lance took a deep breath to calm himself when the massage was done. Keith was too cute for his own good.

“So… How are you going?” He asked. “Are you doing alright?”

Keith looked up at him kind of blurry eyed and slowly sat up. “What do you mean?” 

“I’m talking about your diet of course.”

“...” The elf looked extremely guilty as he took off his beanie and scratched behind his ear. “Um well… There was this new burger place that opened up and they were running some special edition loaded fried. Like I think they called it an eggs benedict avocado smash loaded fries and I um… I might have gained a little weight…”

Lance sighed a little as he busied himself with his clipboard. “Well we all make mistakes.”

“... What?”

Lance frowned and looked over at the elf. “What?”

The elf eyed him suspiciously. “Nothing… You just usually chew me out when I mention I’ve had fries. What’s gonna happen now? Is it gonna start raining arrows?”

Lance shrugged. “Well I could always ban fries out right. You’d definitely lose weight that way.”

“WHAT?!” Keith practically launched himself at Lance and grabbed him tightly around the middle. “NO! YOU CAN’T!”

“Whoa! Don’t just grab me like that!”

“But I…” Keith frowned and poked Lance’s stomach. “...” He then poked his own stomach. “... Lance?”

“... Please don’t say it.”

“You’re addicted to fries too!”

“... No.”

Keith frowned and crossed his arms. “Well how did you get like that? You got a little pudge on you human.”

Lance just sighed. “I don’t know… I mean, I’m not leading an unhealthy lifestyle or anything. I eat healthy and I don’t gorge myself on food. Heck, I try not to have dessert foods more than once a week. I try to walk to most places and I have a good exercise program, but I still put on weight…”

“Huh… alright.”

Lance shrugged. “It’s probably my diet. I’ll have to look it over and see if I’ve been eating a little too much of something bad…”

“Huh, okay.” Keith didn’t seem very convinced.

Lance just rolled his eyes and walked Keith out to the front door. He was the last client for the day, so Rachel was just waiting for them to finish so she could lock up. “Had a good session?” She asked.

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Lance is pretty good with his hands.”

Lance blushed a little as Rachel smirked at him. “He is?”

“Yeah he is. Night Rachel. Night La-?” He paused for a moment and gave Lance a confused look. It was only there for a few seconds but he looked at Lance like he had grown an extra head. “Um, night Lance. Same time next week?”

“Yeah?”

Keith quickly left the clinic and Lance was kind of confused. The elf was weird, but that was just odd. He finished locking up the clinic with Rachel and headed home. He ended up walking instead. If he was going to get back to his usual weight he needed to start now. 

***

Lance tried to start off his morning the right way. Being active in the morning keeps your biological clock working properly, which in turn keeps your autonomic nervous system in order. Proper nerve function keeps your intestines working properly and greatly affects your metabolism. 

Lance did this by drinking a cup of water when he started the day. The gastrocolic reflex occurs when things enter the stomach and so drinking water stimulates the intestines into action. After that it was breakfast. A good breakfast was very important. Lance didn’t normally have much time to make breakfast so he usually had plane yoghurt with oats and honey.

After that he dressed in his running gear and jogged to work. A structured lifestyle, moderate exercise, and a balanced diet. These three things are critical for physical improvement. Slow weight loss was preferable over quick weight loss. Losing weight slowly over time meant one could sustain it easier and their body wouldn’t go into starvation mode and not drop as many calories as it did last time.

Lance was confident that if he kept this up he would drop that little bit of extra pudge in no time. He’d be happy if he just stayed the same weight too. It would just mean he would need to adjust just a few things and he’d be back to his previous weight in no time.

However, three weeks later Lance weighed himself just before he went to bed. He was now 10.6kg (23.3 pounds) heavier than he was when he last weighed himself three weeks ago. “... What the actual fuck?!”

Lance’s meals had been nutritious and very low in calories. He’d gotten Rachel to double check his diet plan to make sure he didn’t go crazy and starve himself by accident. He’d increased his work out volume and was lifting more weights. Heck, he was even jogging to and from work every day. He was worried he was starting to get sick, but he was still technically in the normal weight range and it wasn’t really something he should be that concerned about. 

Lance felt dejected as he crawled into bed. He’d probably have to give in and ask Rachel to do her evil bootcamp. His muscles would die and he’d probably be humiliated as marines and army dudes bear crawled half a mile and back again. Rachel wouldn’t go easy on him either. He sighed and went to sleep.

***

The smell of fries filled Lance’s nose as he was met with one of the sexiest sights he’d seen in a while. Keith, that damn potato elf was laying on a mountain of golden fries and other tasty potato products while he was clad in a ridiculously tight, red speedo. It left nothing to the imagination and Lance could see all of Keith's gorgeous, pudgy belly and soft thighs.

“Come on Lance.” Purred the elf as he lewdly licked some salt off a thick cut potato wedge. “Look at this mountain of fries, and it’s all yours. Tater tots, potato skins, waffle fries, wedges, crinkle cuts, shoestrings, curly fries, steak fries… And that’s not even including the toppings. I love loaded fries, don’t you?”

Lance watched as Keith dipped his wedge into a tub of sour cream, getting way too much of it on the chip. Half of it fell off the wedge, roll down his chin, neck, chest, and settled right in that slight groove between his chest and chubby belly. Lance swallowed slowly as he watched this playing out before him.

Keith smirked at him. “Come on Lance. It’s all for you. Eat up. There’s more than enough for the both of us.”

“I um… N-no thanks…” Said Lance nervously. “I um… I’m on a diet…”

“Come on. Don’t hold back.” Keith grabbed Lance by the collar of his shirt and started stuffing his face. “Eat up. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat.”

***

Lance cried out in shock as he jolted upright. It was… a dream… Just a dream. On one hand he was glad that Keith wasn’t choking him to death with potatoes, but he damn Keith was one sexy elf. He couldn’t deny that Keith was one hell of a sexy guy, even if he was overweight.

He yawned and went to rub the sleep out of his eyes and almost poked himself in the eye with a fork. He jumped a little in surprise and looked down at his hands. He was holding a knife and fork. It was at that moment he also started to smell food. 

Lance’s jaw dropped. In front of him were several dirty plates all piled up in front of him while he still had a large plate of loaded mac and cheese completely filled with bacon, sausage, and fried bread crumbs. There was also a small deep dish pizza and chicken parmigiana completely decked out with three different cuts of pork and several slices of cheese.

“... What the fuck?! Why the hell am I eating this?!”

From behind him he heard a laugh. “Oh? Did my spell break?” Lance slowly turned his head to see a woman with long blond pigtails and large purple eyes. Besides her eyes his woman’s most striking features were her horns and tail. She was wearing a large white apron and carrying a ladle in the other. She had a playful smirk on her face. “Guess the people in this world have magic resistance too.”

“W-who are you?!” Cried out Lance. “What the hell is going on? Why are you in my house?”

She giggled. “My name is Nyma, but it doesn’t really matter who I am. What really matters is…” she turned around, and that was when Lance noticed she was only wearing an apron. Just an apron. She quickly turned back with a platter in her hands and her eyes started glowing. “... That you eat seconds! It’s okay human. Give into your heart’s desires!”

She placed a large platter of deep fried food in front of Lance’s face and smothered everything in BBQ sauce. Lance’s hands trembled as he stabbed some of the food with his fork. His body involuntarily stabbed the oil, dripped battered meat and he raised it to his lips.

Nyam giggled and grinned. “Good boy. Now open your mouth and say aah.”

There was a crackle and a flash of purple light. Lance immediately dropped his fork and scrambled away from the table. Nyam looked shocked and quickly looked around in a panic.

“The fuck? My spell was destroyed?” She cried in shock.

“Magic?” Asked Lotor as he walked into the room, baring his staff while wearing his stupid fetishy magic outfit. “That was nothing more than child’s play.”

“L-Lotor?” Gasped Lance in shock.

“Are you okay?” Asked Keith as he got into the room and tried to put some distance between Lance and Nyma. “Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I detected a small trace of magic on you a few weeks ago. I was worried about you so I staked out your apartment.”

Nyma looked between the two elves in a mix of frustration and confusion. “Where’d these damn elves come from?!”

“Um… Who is she?” Asked Lance.

“She is a satyr.” Said Lotor calmly. “Their species uses the desire that radiates from others as their main source of nourishment. She probably hypnotised you and stimulated your appetite to force you to eat. In turn she was able to feed off your desires and fatten you up against your will.”

Lance frowned. “Wait… So she’s like a succubus?”

“How dare you!” Gasped Nyma and blushed bright red. “I’m not a pervert! I-I-I would never do something so… Satyr feed off all desires and this! This is my passion and I will not let you elves interfere with that!”

“...Your passion?” Questioned Lance.

“That’s right.” Said Nyma. “I came to this world because I love cooking and wanted to experience new cuisine… The amount of culinary styles in this world is beyond my wildest dreams! And the people of this world are so greedy to boot. For a satyr this world is a win-win!” She looked at Lance and grinned. “I respect your species' desire for food. So thanks for helping me sharpen my skills. I can make some really tasty dishes now.”

Lance nodded slowly and eyed Nyma up and down. “S-so um… Do you have any desire for other things?”

“... NOT THE LEWD ONES!!!”

“Not my fault you’re naked under that apron!” Whined Lance. “What am I meant to think?!”

“Fuck the formalities!” Yelled Keith as he produced three throwing daggers. “The only true greedy one here is you! Your feeding frenzy ends now!”

“You’re calling me greedy?!” Asked Nyma in shock. “Look at you? You’re a fat butter ball of lard! Your desire is already enormous! With me around you’d never be able to hold back. You’d eat yourself to death. The first elf to get the physique of an obease orc.”

“... FUCK YOU!” Keith threw his daggers at Nyma with speed and precision. Two of the daggers sliced through the straps on her apron and the third strikes right between her legs. It caught the apron and pinned it to the wall behind them. Everyone froze in shock before Keith started laughing. “Excuse me, miss love handles? How the fuck can you get fat from eating something that’s practically air? What are you? A balloon?”

The aura in the room started to darken as the temperature rapidly dropped. Nyma looked like she was about to slaughter someone. There was a huge burst of energy and Nyma had flown out the window sobbing.

“They saw me naked! Three men saw me naked!” She cried. “It’s my first time!”

The trio became extremely confused. Lotor just shook his head and cleared his throat. “Well, that takes care of that for now… But they will probably be back to get revenge.” He went to walk to the window and a rip immediately echoed through the small apartment. Once again Lotor’s ass had ripped his magically charged fetish pants. He sighed and awkwardly sat on a chair looking pissed off.

Keith just ignored Lotor’s predicament while Lance went to find him some pants. “As much as I hate the bubble butt I have to agree. I doubt this is the last we will see of her. Once they get their claws in someone they never give up a target… But I have a plan!”

***

And so from that day forward his supernatural clients decided to work shifts guarding Lance. Which was how Keith practically moved in with him, taking full responsibility because it was his plan.

“Suck my dick Lard-tor!” Snapped Keith as he desperately tried to destroy Lotor in Mario kart.

“In your dreams marshmallow.” Said Lotor as he quickly passed him. 

Shiro chuckled from his position on the ground with a beer in hand. Hunk was patiently waiting for his turn to have a go while Pidge was trying to give them advice on which items to use. It was chaotic, but at least now Lance could concentrate on losing weight without having to worry about any monsters sabotaging him.


	25. Scales (POTO AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ForensicSpider98 asked for some more phantom AU. I looked through my random au's folder (I really need a better system for all my aus) and I found that I only needed to do the last paragraph for part three of this. So hey, another double upload today. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Also here's the song that Keith is playing at the start;
> 
> Thirty Seconds to Mars - Hurricane   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdJDPepGOAM

Keith’s fingers slowly danced across the keyboard as he sang into the microphone. Some days when he was sure there was no one in the house Keith would open himself up and sing. Sure he was in his room, which was the basement of Shiro and Adam’s house, and it was sound proofed to hell and back, but it was his safe space.

He had a lot of different musical instruments in his room. Lots of it was second hand stuff that he was able to buy from pawnshops or was able to buy off the internet. He had a keyboard piano, a cello, violin, flute, trumpet, and a set of drums. He didn’t play his cello or violin that often since he always went way too hard on them and just destroyed the bow. Bows were pretty expensive. They were made from horsehair after all. Sure he could have used synthetic, but he didn’t like how it sounded.

Apart from his instruments he did have a little recording equipment, a computer, and his bed. He didn’t record his voice often, but he knew that Shiro liked his singing, so he did record a few pieces every now and then. He did email his songs to his brother with strict instructions to never play it in front of him and just not talk to him about it ever.

On the days he sent them to Shiro the other man seemed to be a lot happier. There was just a look in his eye that let Keith know he heard the song and was just thankful that Keith was still singing. That small bit of acknowledgement was enough to make Keith blush and his heart to race.

But today was not about making a song to send to Shiro. This was a song he needed to sing to give himself confidence. Enough confidence to make him get out of the house and teach Lance how to sing. He was good, really good. He just needed some pointers.

“Do you really want me dead or alive to live a lie…” Sang Keith. He finished the song and hit the last few notes. He felt more confident now. He put on a plain black T, jeans, and his work overalls. 

He went upstairs and went to catch the bus for his shift. There were never any parking spaces when there were people there practicing. When he got to the theater people were starting to leave. Keith kept his head down and quickly made his way inside. People were still milling around so Keith went and headed to the supply closet to get his stuff ready for cleaning. He wasn’t getting paid to help Lance sing.

As he unloaded his cleaning supplies onto his cart someone called out to him. “Keith!”

Keith jumped in shock and quickly looked around to see Lance waving at him. The man had given him a fucking heart attack. He immediately felt his throat and tongue swell up in his mouth. All his previous confidence was gone. He was fucked. So, so very fucked. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this.

Lance seemed to be oblivious to Keith’s panic as he came over to me. “Yo, so Pidge was awesome enough to teach me some sign language.”

Keith gave lance a confused look. _Why?_ He signed.

“I know that one! That’s why. Right?”

Keith nodded and quickly signed some more. _Yes, but why?_

Lance frowned a little as he closely watched his hands and it took a moment for him to process things. “... Oh! I want to learn so I can talk to you better. Plus learning ASL is a good skill to have anyway.”

_I guess, but why do you want to talk to me anyway? I don’t get it. I’m just a janitor with no real-_

“Whoa! Slow down there Keith.” Said Lance quickly. “I only know some super basic things. I’m still learning.”

Keith’s face went red and he quickly nodded. _I’m sorry. I have to get to work. Bye._ He quickly grabbed his cart and walked down the hallway as fast as he could. He made a complete fool of himself in front of a cute guy. There was no way he could actually teach Lance how to sing. Lance would be so disappointed when he found out that he was meant to teach him how to sing. No one wanted to hear him talk.

He went to the bathrooms and decided to just clean those while quietly hoping that Lance didn’t remember that he said he would help him sing. But he knew that was a stupid thing to hope. Lance seemed excited for the help. He didn’t want to disappoint Lance but showing up would disappoint him even more.

Keith didn’t know what kind of guilt would be worse. The guilt of showing up and Lance realising that the best Keith could do was glare at him and angrily hit a keyboard in frustration, or the guilt he would feel when he saw Lance the next day all sad and confused.

“... Fuck…” He whispered in frustration and angry, frustrated tears started to form in his eyes. He grabbed a cloth and a disinfectant. He started to viciously rub down the sinks in the men's bathroom. He hated being such a coward. He hated disappointing people. Hell, he felt he had disappointed Shiro enough when he wasn’t able to get a job on his own and had to rely on him.

He looked at himself in the mirror and glared at himself. How the fuck was he able to talk to Lance before? What was different? He was hardly able to have a conversation with Shiro. It was mostly Shiro talking and Keith talking in the smallest sentences possible. How the hell was he able to talk to Lance before? What was different? 

He continued to study his face as he thought back. His… His hair was up? Keith took an elastic off his wrist and did his hair up. That wasn’t it. He wasn’t wearing his overalls? He took off the top half of his overalls and let it hand around his hips. That wasn’t it either… Then again, he was wearing a mask… He was going to have to wear a mask, wasn’t he?

***

Lance sighed heavily as he sat in the backseats of the theater. Well, he had gone and scared Keith away. Which sucked. He didn’t mean to scare him. Keith just seemed lonely and Lance wanted to talk to him and actually have a conversation with him. He didn’t understand what Keith was saying and tried to tell Keith he was only at baby level ASL, but the poor guy just looked embarrassed and quickly ran off.

He wondered how long Keith had been mute. Maybe his whole life? Maybe it was recent? He didn’t know. It might not have been that recent since Keith could sign really well. Maybe a few years? If so, was he mute because there was something wrong with his vocal chords or because of something else? He didn’t know. 

He sighed and waited for their ghost to show up again. He was pretty sure they weren’t really a ghost. Like, sure they were ghost like, but he had a feeling that they might have just been someone from the production. They were probably a guy that had been bullied into staying in the chorus, or maybe stuck in the costume or makeup? He’d ask Pidge and Hunk if there was anyone on lighting and staging that wanted to try out for the musical but got bullied out of it.

The sound of footsteps quickly made Lance look up. The man walked out onto the stage. Black t-shirt, dark jeans, hair tied up in a high ponytail, and a skull masquerade mask covering the top half of his face.

“Um… Hey…” He muttered.

Lance grinned and walked up to the stage. “Hey man! You actually came.”

“Yeah… Didn’t want to disappoint you…” They avoided Lance’s gaze and walked over to the piano. “Anyway, let’s do some scales to warm up.”

“I’ve been warming up all day.” Whined Lance. “My vocal chords are ready.”

“Okay. Sing me a pentatonic scale. Now.” They said said quickly.

“... Um…”

“Tetratonic?” They questioned. “Heptatonic? Please don’t tell me you only know dodecatonic.”

“I know chromatic.”

They facepalmed. “Chromatic and dodecatonic is the same thing…”

“Hey, calm down there Phantom.”

“Phantom?”

Lance shrugged. “Well that mask you are wearing is from Phantom of the Opera. Like, worn by the Phantom in the second act during the masquerade. I don’t know your name so it’s Phantom. Unless you want to tell me your name?”

“... Phantom is fine.” They sighed and started to play something that reminded Lance of Asia. “Pentatonic scale.” Muttered the Phantom. “Just… Major pentatonic scale… C, D, E, G, A.” He quickly played it. 

“... Why do I need to sing this?”

“It’s a warm up.” Said the Phantom calmly. “... I take music very seriously. I love music. I love it a lot. You’re really good and I want you to improve. To do that I need to start at the foundations. I need to know what you know. You have a lot of potential Lance.”

“... Okay. Can you play it again?”

The Phantom nodded and slowly played the notes for him. They would hit a key again until Lance would get it right. He was surprisingly strict for a guy wearing a goofy looking skull mask. They continued on and on with the scales for what felt like forever. Lance wanted to continue on and get to the songs from the musical.

“Okay, I’ve been doing scales forever so we should just-”

“Finish for today? I agree.”

“What? No! Start on the songs!”

The Phantom rolled their eyes. “No. You are good but your pitch is off. Some of your notes are minors and others are flats when you sing a major scale. It might be fine for a local theatre performance, but I want you to really improve. Try and find different scales and practice them. If you don’t like it then don’t come back.” They moved away from the piano and walked off the stage.

Lance was shocked for a moment before he quickly ran after him. “Hey! Wait!” He looked for them backstage but they were gone. “I just want to sing like you…”

He looked around backstage for them for a few minutes before he decided to give up and head out for one of his sisters to pick him up. On the way out he happened to see Keith quietly mopping the floors with his headphones on. He looked a little frustrated. Maybe he was pissed off at him? Either that or he was really, really hated a particular sticky spot on the floor.

“...” Lance tried to walk into his line of sight so he didn’t accidentally spook him. He kind of wondered if Keith had heard him practicing with the Phantom? 

Keith glanced up at him and quickly gave the sign for hello.

Lance smiled at him. “Hey. Have you been listening to music the whole time?”

Keith nodded, nervously avoiding Lance’s gaze. He alternated between squeezing his mop and lightly rubbing his hands over the front of his overalls.

“So you didn’t hear anything happening in the theater? Backstage?”

Keith shook his head, eyes still trained at the ground.

Lance knew he was making Keith uncomfortable. “Oh… Um… Well, I’ll just be outside. My sister’s going to pick me up… Sorry if I upset you before… I’m still learning ASL. Baby steps and stuff… Um… See you later.” He quickly left and texted Veronica to come and pick him up.

***

Keith was internally screaming. Lance was talking to him. He was still talking to him. He had a good voice but was a little impatient, but he was good. He still couldn’t believe that it was so easy to talk to him when he was wearing that stupid mask. It was like he was cosplaying or something. Something with a new persona. Then Lance gave that persona a name; Phantom.

It was silly and stupid, but when Lance called him that he kind of fell into a roll. It was a new character. Someone different. Someone that was confident with who they were. Some cool, suave, mysterious music teacher. Then he was able to talk to Lance like it was nothing. Nothing! As it turned out all Keith needed to talk to someone was to dress up like it was Halloween.

The second he took it off and went back to just looking like Keith, he went mute again. Completely mute. When Lance said hi to him when he came out into the lobby. He tried to say hi to him with his voice, but it felt like his tongue had swollen up in his mouth. So he just signed. 

He’d tried to talk to Lance when he talked to him but nothing would come out. He felt horrible. Keith couldn’t talk to Lance like a normal human without a mask. He really needed to try and pull himself together. Next time he saw Lance he would talk to him. 

Just say hi. It would be fine. He could do this. No way he wouldn’t freeze up when he saw Lance smiling… or saw his pretty blue eyes… soft lips… smooth skin… Just thinking about it made Keith’s face go bright red. 

Maybe he wouldn’t say hi to Lance the next time he saw him… Maybe sometime next week? The week after? … In a month? … Two months? … At the after party that he always cleaned up after and wasn’t really invited to… And since Lance was one of the lead actors then lots of people would be talking to him and congratulating him and he wouldn’t be alone… Next musical. Next time there was a musical Keith would talk to him.


	26. Coast (Incubus AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to this hell! So just be warned there is talk of suicide in this chapter, so if you're a little iffy about that let that be your warning. Also! I have two chapters pretty much ready to go tomorrow, so what one could you guys rather see? The Android AU or Camboys AU? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Demons. Hearts. Hearts of demons. Hearts of humans? Sacrifices. Human sacrifices. The thing about most demons is that apart from tormenting humans, they enjoy the taste of human blood. Was it tasty to them? Did they just enjoy the metallic taste of blood?

Why did demons care so much about hearts? One of the few organs that was just pure muscle and blood. So much blood. They say that humans are the greedy and sinful ones, but they were the ones that yearned for human blood. To drink it. Taste it. Touch it. Bathe in it. They converted it. Obsessed over it. Oceans of it existed in their world and was free for all, but it was hoarded like there was none left.

Demons always wanted more. More. More. More. They wanted hearts. Human hearts. They needed them so badly and it disgusted Shiro. Keith was suffering at the hands of that Incubus. Lance. Lance that monster.

Lance, like most manners and methods of death, was alluring and beautiful. He could only imagine the horrors Lance was putting him through. Though Shiro had a good idea of the pain and torture that Lance was inflicting on Keith right now.

He ground his teeth in frustration and slammed his fist on his desk. After he had come so close before he couldn’t just accept that he had no leads anymore. He couldn’t just vanish like that without a trace, there had to be something. Anything. He needed to find Keith. Now.

“You need to rest.” Said Kolivan calmly from the doorway. 

Shiro had been held up in the Blade of Marmora’s headquarters for weeks after Lance had taken Keith away from him. He knew Keith was still in there. That small, sweet, lovable little boy was still in there and he needed help. He was scared and needed help. Shiro would be that help. He’d be the one so save that small, scared little boy.

“I need to find him Kolivan.” Said Shiro calmly. “I was so close… I was this close to saving him… But that Incubus… He has his claws sunk deep into him…”

“I understand.” Said Kolivan as he walked into the room. “That particular Incubus has been very slippery. He pops up every few generations and always comes and causes trouble for us.” Kolivan had been the head of the Blade of Marmora and was the one that approached Shiro when he started to dig a little too deep into who Lance was.

“... I need to find him Kolivan.” Said Shiro quietly. He’s my brother… I… I should have found him sooner. Who knows what he’s doing to him? He could be doing anything to him and I… He’s suffering…”

“I know.” Kolivan walked over to him and closed the book he was reading. “Look, I know your feelings on this matter, you don’t care what happens to the Incubus as long as Keith is safe, but we want the Incubus… We let you try it your way. Consider letting us try our way. It will be more-”

“No.” Said Shiro sternly. “If you lot get your way you’ll put Keith in danger to get the Incubus to come to him. I won’t do that…”

Kolivan rolled his eyes and took a piece of paper out of his pocket. “Read this, sleep, and consider it. This is a trap we have constructed. Yes, Keith will be in some danger, but he will not be severely injured. The only way he could get hurt is if he hurts himself.”

Shiro frowned and looked over the plan. “... Kolivan, this is-”

“Don’t say no yet.” Said Kolivan quickly. “Just think about it. We can’t even do anything until we find Keith again.”

“... Okay.”

“Good. We’ll let you know if we find him. You are very important to the plan.” He left the room.

Shiro shook his head and looked down at the plan again. He didn’t like it. Too much could go wrong. If it worked then Lance would be taken out permanently and Keith would be free. Keith could finally be free from that demon. He gripped the paper tight enough for it to rip slightly.

“... I’ll save you Keith. I’ll do anything for you…” If he had to he would go along with this plan, but he didn’t want to. It could traumatise Keith more. He had suffered enough. He was probably suffering some unspeakable horror right now at the hands of that Incubus.

***

Keith jumped a little in surprise when Lance lightly booped him on the nose with a soft serve ice cream. They giggled and handed it over to him. After the disaster that was Lance’s family, Lance decided it would be best to head to the coast for a while. So for the past few days the two of them had been sleeping in their car by the beach. They were currently at a lighthouse enjoying the quiet. 

“Here you go, love.” Said Lance in an almost overly cheerful tone. “Strawberry ice cream. Your favourite. It even has bits of cut up strawberry in it.”

“Thank you.” Keith moved a little closer to Lance as he looked over the side of the small cliff where the lighthouse was built. There were dozens of jagged rocks that were constantly getting hammered with heavy waves.

Lance laced his fingers with Keith’s free hand and leaned against his arm. The closeness of it all was making Keith’s heart race. Ever since meeting with Lance’s family the Incubus had never been too far out of Keith’s line of sight. Which he found a small amount of comfort in.

Though Keith hated it. He felt like he was a burden to Lance now. It had been years before he started to be useful to Lance. He could get rid of the leftovers when Lance was done getting his fill. He was a good boy for him. But now… Now he was afraid that Lance could end up being another demon in disguise, or he could think he’s not useful anymore. If that happened then would Lance take him somewhere like the basement? Where his family took their human handlers.

“The view is really lovely from up here.” Said Lance. He pointed out to the horizon. “I think that’s a storm on the horizon.”

Keith nodded in agreement. “Yeah… Where are we going after this?”

Lance shrugged. “I was thinking maybe heading up North? You like the forests, yes?”

“Forests are nice.” Said Keith quietly.

Lance hummed a little and leaned his head against Keith’s shoulder. “Yeah. It’s very pretty when it snows… Maybe we could go really far North? Like Canada? My family prefers it warm so we definitely won’t see them if we’re up there.”

“Okay.”

“But we will need to get you some better winter clothes. We have a lot of money right now so we can go to an actual sporting goods store and get like a ski jacket for you.” Said Lance. “Something really nice and warm.” 

Keith nodded and continued to eat his ice cream. It was about time he got a new jacket. “... Can we stay somewhere nice? Like, somewhere that doesn’t smell all musty and the mattress isn’t all lumpy?”

“Of course.” Said Lance. “We’ll find a nice place to stay for a few weeks.” He kissed Keith’s cheek and gently rubbed his back. “... Do you like the beach? You seemed to like the rockpool before.”

Keith nodded again. “Yeah. haven’t seen a hermit crab before.”

“Well now you have.”

He smiled a little. “It had one really big claw and a tiny one.”

“It sure did.” Said Lance. “It snipped at you too.”

“I did poke it with a stick…”

Lance laughed and grinned. “Yep. You probably shouldn’t poke crabs with sticks.”

“Yeah…”

Lance kissed his cheek and smiled at him. “Just don’t do it again love. Crabs are cute, but you shouldn’t be mean to cute things.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah.” Lance hummed and happily squeezed his hand. “You’re cute too you know?”

“Oh?”

“Yep.” He kissed Keith’s cheek. “Now, I have to go to the bathroom. Will you be okay or do you need to come with me?”

“... I um… I-I’ll be fine… Just please don’t take too long… Please…”

Lance nodded and quickly headed to where the bathroom block was. Keith kept his eyes on him until he vanished inside the building. Keith sighed heavily and looked down at the ocean waves again. The white seafoam looked rather soft and frothy against the rocks. If he fell from here he would definitely die on impact or at least get knocked out and drown.

He kind of wanted to do it too. He could too. Lance might take a while and there was no one else around. He could climb over the edge and fall. But he was scared. He wasn’t too sure what he was scared of anymore. Was he scared of Lance? Was he scared of dying? What would happen to Lance if he killed himself? Would he cry? Would he mourn him? Would be be like the rest of his family and just not care. If Lance pushed him aside so easily then what worth did he have?

He sniffled a little and rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t anything more than a plaything for Lance. The older he got the more likely it would be that Lance would leave him too, right? He’d get old, and Lance would abandon him to find someone else he found more attractive. He’d either be abandoned or take him back to his family to put him in the basement with everyone else.

_“Little wolf? Little wolf?”_ Called a voice. Keith looked over the edge to see a seagull corpse on the very edge of the cliff just a few inches away from the edge of the cliff. _“Is it time?”_ They asked. _“Are you going to put yourself to rest now?”_

“I…”

_“We’ll welcome you if you do.”_ They said. _“We will hold you gently and bring you peacefully into your long sleep.”_

“I um…”

_“We don’t judge you. We will never judge you for doing the things you did in life.”_ They said. _“You’re tired aren’t you? It’s easy. You just have to climb over the fence and lean forward. Just… Lean… Forward…”_

“But Lance… He… He might…”

_“Miss you? Do you think he will miss you? How many humans has he been with before you? How many of them does he really miss?”_

“...”

_“You’re just the latest in a long line of wolves that the hunter has ensnared.”_ Said the seagull. _“You are not the first and you will not be the last. You are no one to him. Not really. And if you’re nothing to him then what value do you have if you are alive?”_

“I-I help Lance… Kind of...”

_“A job you cannot do your whole life. But all are useful once they die. The bodies of the living are always used by everything else. It’s nourishment. When you’re dead you’re always useful. Much more useful than when you live. So come on. It’ll be fine. Almost painless. Almost easy.”_

Keith hated how everyone seemed to know this, and he hated how true it was. He was just convenient for Lance. That’s all Keith was. Convenient. He climbed over the edge of the fence and sat on the edge of it. All he had to do was stand up and lean forward and then that would be it. He’d be done. That would be the end of it.

_“Just a little further. You can do it.”_

He was about to stand up when he felt two warm arms wrap around his stomach. It shocked Keith and he dropped his ice cream. He watched it fall and splatter against a rock. “... My ice cream…”

Lance hummed a little and kissed the back of his neck. “What are you doing Keith?”

“... Trying to get a better view?”

“There’s a bench a little further along if you want to sit and watch the ocean.”

“Oh… Didn’t see that.” He swung his legs around to the safe side and stood back next to Lance. He let the Incubus hold his hand and lead him over to the bench where the two of them sat down and watched the ocean some more.

Lance cuddled his arm and sighed contently. “Do you like the ocean? I think it’s pretty.”

“Yeah. It’s nice.”

“Very romantic.”

“If you say so.”

Lance hummed and kissed his cheek. “I think it’s very romantic. In fact…” They got up and kneeled in front of Keith, smiling brightly at him. “Keith, I know our relationship is a little weird and very unorthodox by human standards, but I love you. I love you so much… Remember when I went out a few months ago? When we were in that town? The one with that weird horse statue?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, when I was out I went to the pawn shop and bought something there. So Keith…” Lance took a black box out of his pocket and opened it. Inside it was a simple rose gold wedding band with a red stone set in it. “Keith, will you marry me?”

Keith stared at the ring in shock. He did not expect this. “You…”

“Sure the ring probably doesn’t fit since it’s from a pawn shop, but we can get it resized at a jewelers when we go by one.” Said Lance happily. “And yeah, we can’t really get married like real humans would since there’s so much paperwork and all. It’ll be more symbolic than anything, but I really want us to be together.”

Keith continued to stare down at the ring in shock. “...Why? I’m just a-”

“You’re my soulmate.” Said Lance. “You’re beautiful and perfect. You’re everything I want. I want to stay by your side forever. I’ll never leave you. I promise. I’ll stay with you forever. I love you so much.”

“I… I do.” He said quietly. “I’ll marry you.”

Lance grinned and hugged him tightly. “I love you! I love you so much!” He kissed Keith and he kissed back. When they pulled back Lance happily took the ring out of the box and attempted to put it on Keith’s finger, but it was too small. “... Backup plan.” Lance took a small silver chain out of his pocket, threaded it through the ring and happily strung it around his neck. “You look so handsome.”

Keith blushed and instantly felt guilty about trying to kill himself minutes before. “Thank you… You need a ring too.”

Lance grinned and showed Keith his own necklace with a rose gold ring on it. His ring had a blue stone in it. “I’ve been wearing it since I found them. I’ve been waiting for the right time to give you yours. Now we can get them resized together when we get to the next town.”

Keith smiled a little and touched the ring on his necklace. He was… Happy? Maybe? This meant that Lance loved him, right? People that loved each other got married, right? Lance moved him. Lance was in love with him. They were in love. That’s all that mattered. They were in love, right?


	27. XXL (Camboys AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter. Our boys are still very, very horny and dumb. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith sighed heavily as he trudged back into his house to shower. He had decided to do some painting outside for a personal piece, but he Kosmo decided to play and knocked his paint all over himself. Keith had been upset and banished the giant floof back into the house. He was going to go inside and have a shower, but the lighting was really good and he just...

He might have gone and taken a quick photo shoot with his body covered in rainbow paint. It was going to be a bit of a bitch to to clean up, but he thought it turned out pretty well. So he couldn’t get too mad at Kosmo for it.

Once he was clean he pulled on boxers and sat at his computer to edit his photos. Kosmo whined a little and stayed by his feet. Keith just shook his head and patted the floof. “You’re just lucky that you are cute. His phone pinged and he picked it up. It was Shiro.

**Shiro**  
_You all set for coming up this week?_

**Keith**  
_Yep. Kosmo can still come up too right?_

**Shiro**  
_Yeah. Adam and Curtis love Kosmo_

**Keith**  
_K._  
_Hope you don’t mind me bringing my drawing stuff_

**Shiro**  
_Go ahead._  
_Glad your freelance stuff is working out for you_  
_See you Sunday_

**Keith**  
_See you Sunday_

Poor Keith. He didn’t have the heart to tell him that his freelance work was quickly becoming his side hustle for his main camboy gig. Knowing Shiro, he wouldn’t be angry if he found out, but he would be pretty disappointed and reluctantly supportive. 

He loved driving the two hours into town to hang out with Shiro and his boyfriends. They were great guys. All extremely gay, well, apart from Curtis. He was pretty bisexual. Alone they were a train wreck waiting to happen, but together they were almost one functional adult.

His phone pinged again and he looked down and grinned when he saw it was his online friend, OceanQueen5.

**OceanQueen5**  
_Kill me with a rusty spoon!_

**RedDesert**  
_What happened?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_You know how I posted that video using that XXL Black dildo last night?_

**RedDesert**  
_..._  
_You shoved what up you ass?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Not the point._  
_Point is, I shoved an XXL Black dildo up my ass_  
_My butt hurts :(_

**RedDesert**  
_F_

Keith just shook his head and went back to editing. OceanQueen5 was a lunatic. Hell, he was a sexy beast and Keith loved his enthusiasm. However, Keith did feel like he needed to remind them to not do anything stupid and hurt themselves. He was pretty sure they would have ended up in the ER a few times if Keith didn’t tell him to rest his ass for a few days after getting off. 

He suddenly got a stream of quick texts in succession. 

**OceanQueen5**  
_But my boss is making me do drive through again!_  
_I wanna sit down!_  
_But it hurts when I sit down!_  
_Everything is pain!_  
_Life is not fair!_  
_:(_

**RedDesert**  
_F_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Is that all you gotta say to me?_

**RedDesert**  
_What am I meant to do?_  
_Massage your butt?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_I would pay for the honour_  
_My poor broke ass would pay anything for those hands of your to squeeze my glutes_

**RedDesert**  
_But if you’re broke how would you pay?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_I’m pretty sure you’d find a way to get some generous compensation._  
_;3_

Keith could feel his face heating up like crazy. OceanQueen5 had one hell of a cute ass. If he was being honest he wouldn’t mind hooking up with him at some point. But neither had any idea where the other lived. OceanQueen5 could live over the other side of the country, or even the world.

**RedDesert**  
_Look, I’m a decent size, but I’m honest enough to know I’m not packing anything close to the things you’re used to._

**OceanQueen5**  
_Honey, I don’t care if your dick isn’t as thick as a steroid gym rat’s torso_  
_I’m just a slut for the stretch_  
_Sex is a totally different matter._  
_As long as you’re not a selfish lover I am happy enough to go down with anyone._

**RedDesert**  
_Really?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_lmao, yeah._  
_I like big dildos but when it comes to real people I like guys that take the time to know how to make me feel good._  
_Not like, one and done kind of deal_

Keith was a little surprised to hear that, but then again OceanQueen5 might have just been acting all bratty and stuff. He didn’t really know. He sighed and shook his head. Though he kind of pegged OceanQueen5 as a bit of a masochist with maybe a daddy kink? He did call him daddy once. He had the texts to prove it.

**OceanQueen5**  
_What about you?_  
_What do you look for in a partner?_  
_You want someone to share your passion for exibitionisim?_

**RedDesert**  
_Well I guess? It would be nice._

**OceanQueen5**  
_Always wanted to try something a little outside ;3_

Keith’s heart started hammering in his chest. Was this flirting or some kind of booty call? OceanQueen5 seemed like the kind of person that would do that. But they didn’t know where he lived. Did this mean they were going to meet up? Was this it?

**RedDesert**  
_Oh?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Yep_  
_g2g I gotta get back to work_

Keith put his phone down and slumped in his chair. They certainly were something. If he ever really met them in person he’d probably have a melt down. He sighed and looked through the photos he had taken earlier. Well if OceanQueen5 could get him all flustered with some words then Keith sure as hell would get him flustered with one picture. A really good one.

***

Lance hated everything. His ass hurt, Hunk couldn’t pick him up from work because he was working. Pidge didn’t drive, and he didn’t have money for the bus, so had to walk home. Walking home fucking sucked. He hated it. He was just going to go home and stay in bed. He wasn’t going to get up until it stopped feeling like someone was stabbing him in the ass.

He made it about halfway home before he had to pause and lean against a wall. He made himself a promise, no more sticking XXL dildos up his ass when he is working the next day. When he got home he was going to stick a bag of ice on his ass.

He heard a car horn beep next to him and he looked over at a car that had pulled up next to him. It was his neighbour, Adam. The man lived next door to him with his two boyfriends; Shiro, and Curtis. He and his housemates were on friendly terms and sometimes barbequed together.

The man waved over at him and Lance walked over. “Hey Adam. What’s up?”

“I was heading home and I saw you. Are you okay? You’re kind of…”

“I was a dumb ass and slipped down the last few bottom steps and hurt my tailbone. Hunk could drop me off but U had to walk home.”

“Rough. Want a lift?”

“You are an angel.” He climbed in and cringed a little when he sat down. He needed ice.

Thankfully Adam could always distract him with conversation. Apparently Shiro’s brother was coming to town on Sunday for a week with his dog. “He’s a bit of a moody guy, but once he warms up to you he’s really nice.”

“Cool. What’s his name?”

“Keith.”

Lance nodded a little. “Cool. Well I’m a friendly guy. So I’ll make him feel welcome.”

They pulled into Adam’s driveway and Lance quickly thanked him and hobbled back to his house and grabbed an ice pack. He crawled back to bed, laid on his stomach, put the bag on his ass, and started to scroll through his phone. 

His eyes instantly lit up when he saw that RedDesert sent him a photo. He quickly opened it and couldn’t help but drool. RedDesert was outside in what might have been his backyard, and he was covered in extremely runny rainbow paint running down his sexy body, dripping down his hips and thighs. The paint was also running over his cock and dripping off his cock piercing.

**OceanQueen5**  
_I hate you so fucking much right now._

**RedDesert**  
_You know you love it_

**OceanQueen5**  
_I do but fuck you_  
.


	28. New case (Android IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is still a wonderful and perfect precious bean that we don't deserve... And our detective boys have a new case... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“Alright!” Chirped Pidge. “You’re all hooked up now. Let’s get this maintenance session underway!” Today was Lance’s scheduled two week maintenance check up with Hunk and Pidge. They would first run a diagnostic scan going over any damaged hardware and then while Hunk was fixing Lance, Pidge would ask him questions.

His hardwear wasn’t broken or had any sudden and unexpected damage to his body. Which both were very pleased about. Lance was also very happy about this. This meant he was taking care of himself and he was designed very well by his technicians.

“You two designed me really well.” He said happily. “Thank you for making me this way.”

“No problem buddy.” Said Hunk. “We’re just glad you’re all well.”

“Now for some questions while your emotional software is getting uploaded.” Said Pidge. They brought up their datapad and grinned. “Alright. Let’s start with an easy one; you are standing in a room with two humans. One has a gun with one bullet in it. They try to shoot the other human. What do you do to avoid any humans getting hurt?”

“I step between them.” Said Lance without hesitating. “I take the bullet and hope that it does not cause me to shut down.”

Pidge nodded and made a note. “If a human told you to kill another human, would you do it?”

“No.”

“What if a human said they wanted you to kill another human? Would you do it?”

“No. Murder is not in my programming. I am programmed to care for humans and to keep them alive as long as their natural lifespan will allow.”

Pidge nodded again and made another note. “If you were told to jump in front of a car by a human would you do it?”

“No. I have to preserve myself as long as my self preservation does not cause harm or injury to humans.”

She seemed satisfied with that answer and looked through her datapad some more. “Good answers dude… So Hunk said you talked about Keith the other day?”

Lance nodded and smiled. “Yes. I really like Keith. Keith is nice to me.”

Pidge nodded and happily scribbled some more notes. “You know what Keith does right? As a forensic android for the police?”

“He catches people that break the law and gathers evidence needed to either prove or disprove that they belong in prison.” Said Lance with a smile. “He has a gun but his series is better at hand to hand combat which means his accuracy is not the average 95.5% that most rifle unit androids have. The accuracy of a K series android is 87% and they shoot to cripple.”

As he talked he noticed that Hunk seemed to shoot Pidge a warning look. She just rolled her eyes and grinned back at Lance, hanging off his every word. “You seem to be really invested in him.”

“I consider Keith a friend. I want to know about my friends so I can take care of them the best way possible.” Lance smiled softly when he spoke of Keith. He really liked him. “... Pidge? Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Why are androids programmed to be asexual?”

Pidge chuckled at that. “Ah, well the first few androids were programmed to be as human as possible, and humans being humans… Well… The first androids were sexdroids and well… Let’s just say they got super pissed off really fucking quickly and tore both their humans and themselves apart. Jealousy levels were through the roof so we pretty much had to stop that from happening and well… If we wanted to continue android technology it was pretty much written into law that androids can’t be sexualy active.”

“Apart from sexdroids?”

“Apart from sexdroids.”

Lance nodded a little and frowned as he thought this over. “But sexdroids are also asexual? Yet they have sex?”

“Well that’s their job.” Said Pidge. “I’ve never been interested in sexdroids so I don’t really know much about them. My brother, Matt, works with them a lot. He’s very conflicted about the whole thing. Says it’s crazy good money, but he hates how badly they are abused and kind of doesn’t want sexbots to get any smarter.”

“Why?”

“Because if they become too smart they might realise how shitty their lives really are and well… They androids start becoming deviants and killing humans again.”

Lance frowned. “Deviant androids kill humans?”

“Not all the time, but a lot do.”

“Why?”

Hunk frowned. “Maybe we should stop there.”

Pidge waved him off. “Well, you see, some androids have this… corruption in their coding. It’s like a mutation in humans. When the mutation is activated it corrupts their code. It usually only happens when either a very traumatizing event happens or an android is repeatedly exposed to traumatic events. The trauma causes them to act violently and they usually lash out at the people that caused the trauma. Usually killing them since androids are stronger than normal humans.”

Lance nodded as he processed this information. “I see… Is it possible for an android that isn’t a sexdroid to be given the hardware to have sex?”

Pidge raised an eyebrow at that. “You want a dick?”

Lance shrugged. “I am curious.”

“Curiosity is good.” Said Pidge as they made some more notes. “Very, very good… Well you can go in for modification, but that shit’s expensive. Most people don’t get androids for sex anyway.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Well, that was pretty eye opening.”

“Positive I hope?”

“Very positive.” Pidge unhooked Lance from her datapad and grinned at him. “Well, you’re all set and ready to go buddy.”

“Thank you Pidge. I hope that my data was useful.”

“Very useful.”

The trio walked back down to the living room where Adam was watching TV on the couch. He looked up at them and nodded. “All good?”

“Lance is doing amazing.” Said Pidge. “Far exceeding my expectations. Just keep doing what you’re doing with him and report any bugs if they pop up.”

“His hardware is good too.” Said Hunk. “If he gets damaged badly, call straight away and we’ll come running.”

“Will do.” Said Adam.

Lance smiled and sat on the couch next to Adam. He smiled happily at the man and looked around the room. “Are you okay Adam? Do you need something?”

“I’m good. Your check up was good?”

“Yes. Pidge was very happy, though Hunk didn’t seem very happy with some stuff that they were saying… But I do not know. I think I might have made things uncomfortable when I was talking about sex.”

“... Sex?”

“Well sexdroids and if it’s possible for a non sexdroid to have the hardware put in place to have sex in the first place.”

“... You want a dick?”

“Why do people keep saying that?”

“You want a vagina?”

“I am just curious.” Said Lance calmly. “I am programmed to take care of the health of my humans and since I do not have the same organs as humans I am curious about these things. I also don’t have a visual aid I can look at or touch seeing as how my crotch area is just a moulded curve.”

“I see… Well that is… I need some time to think about this… By the way Shiro said that he and Keith were stopping over tonight for dinner.”

Lance grinned. “Really? They are staying over?”

“Yes but not for the whole night. Just a few hours”

“Okay.”

***

Keith hadn’t been having a very good day. It started off at the shooting range. He honestly didn’t really need to practice. His accuracy was good enough and was recalibrated whenever he went into standby mode. He was there with another cop. An open Android hater, James Griffin. He knew that it was because a deviant Android ended up murdering his previous partner during a murder investigation.

He never really understood why James hated him in particular. He wasn’t even the same kind of android that did that in the first place. Sure there were others in the office that didn’t really like dealing with him, but they were at least didn’t openly call him a robot. He wasn’t a robot. He was an android. Big difference.

Keith just did his best to ignore him and continued to shoot. That was until he got a message telling him that he had a new report and needed to get back to his desk before opening it. He quickly fired off the last few rounds in his gun and went to leave the range.

“Fucking tin can.” Muttered James as Keith walked past him.

Keith just rolled his eyes and went back to his desk. He sat in front of his computer and put his hands on the keyboard and opened the file. In all reality he could have opened the file when he was at the shooting range, but as per his programming, if he was in the precinct, he had to go to his desk to open the file.

The file was a handover case. It was about deviant androids that were cropping up every now and then. He quickly scrolled through everything and found something that seemed to be cropping up around or at every crime scene. One word. Voltron. Maybe it was slang for something? He wasn’t sure. But from the case notes it seemed like Voltron was somehow connected with deviant androids. Voltron was either a person or a place. A calling card for deviants?

Shiro walked over to Keith. “Hey. Are you going over the new case?”

“The one about the deviant androids? Yeah.” Keith plugged himself into his terminal. “I’m going to update my data on deviant androids.”

“Good idea.” Shiro walked over to his desk and sat at his chair. “Once you’re done we’ll head over to Adam’s place and we’ll get back to it after dinner.”

“You humans and your need for food.”

“You androids and your need for electricity.”

Keith rolled his eyes and unplugged himself once he was done. “Alright, let’s get going.”

“Missing Lance?” Teased Shiro.

“I enjoy the other android’s company.” Said Keith. “He displays some deviant behaviour, but he is a prototype so it is explainable and will hopefully be patched soon.”

“Alright.” The two of them got to Adam’s place and Shiro was more than happy to help Adam with cooking. 

Lance was happy enough to take Keith’s hand and take him to his room. When they got there Keith was a little surprised to see that Lance had another puzzle set out for them. This one was of some koi fish in a pond.

“Do you like fish?” asked Lance. “I like fish. They are so cool. Adam and I watched a documentary about the ocean the other day and I was so excited to see the fish. They are so pretty. I like the fish that can change colours. I think they are called cuttlefish? Sharks are pretty awesome too. I think they are my favourite fish.”

Keith nodded a little as he started to sort through the pieces. “Sounds like you had a fun time.”

“Yep. So how was your day? Are you and Shiro working a new case? Is this why you aren’t staying tonight?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. We were assigned an android case. Every now and then an android’s programming will become corrupted and they will become a deviant. Since we are in a city there are more deviant incidents than others. We are starting to get deviants popping up every now and then in the area.”

“Oh… that’s no good.” Said Lance quietly. “Well… You be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you getting hurt… I care about you a lot.”

“I know. I care about you too.”

Lance’s eyes seemed to light up and he smiled. “Really?”

“Yes. You care for Adam and Adam is important to Shiro.” Said Keith calmly. “When Adam is taken care of Shiro is happy and when he’s happy he can focus on his work which means we can close more cases.”

“...” Lance’s smile seemed to falter a little. “Oh, well I’m glad I can help Shiro by helping Adam. I’m happy to be useful to humans.”

“Yeah… We might not be able to finish the puzzle before Shiro and I have to leave again.”

“It’s fine. I will wait until you come back to finish it. Puzzles are fun solo activities, but I like them when there are more people helping.”

Keith nodded and the two worked together in relative silence as they worked together to try and do as much of the puzzle together as possible.


	29. Wedding bells (Royal AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allura and Lotor finally get married. It is a happy day full of celebrations, speeches, and sneaking away to get drunk because fuck crowds. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> ALSO! What do you guys want to see next chapter? I have 4 AU's all ready to go tomorrow;  
> Monster and Manna  
> Phantom of the Opera  
> Modern Fantasy  
> Incubus

The wedding was beautiful and went off without a hitch. Yurak had to admit that it was beautiful. Allura’s wedding dress was beautiful and looked like it was made from a million tiny white gemstones and white silk. There were so many gasps and awes at how stunning it was. Lotor looked good too. He wore a dark purple and red suit with traditional Galran accents and flairs.

Yurak stood to the side and waited around as the Altean religious guy did the whole wedding thing. They were talking about love and commitment and all that mushy stuff. Yurak wasn’t very into it and was spacing out. He looked around at all the happy Alteans just tearing up and crying at their Princess being married off.

He happened to spot Lance in the crowd with Pidge and Hunk. They were all crying. Especially Lance. He was practically sobbing. It was amazing how much he was blubbering. He didn’t think he had ever seen someone crying so much before in his life. 

Suddenly everyone was cheering and clapping and Yurak quickly looked around to see that Allura and Lotor were now officially married. He quickly clapped along with everyone as the happy couple walked down the aisle. 

Unsure of what to do he looked over at Zarkon to see what his uncle was doing. He was talking to Alfor, so the Duke just had to stand around and feel awkward. Eventually he was able to leave when Zarkon did and the two of them headed to the reception and took their seats. It would be a few minutes before the newlyweds would join them so Yurak just ended up sitting in his chair and sighing.

He was happy for Lotor and Allura, but so many people. So much talking and laughing and it just… It made him groan internally and externally. This earned him a rough nudge from Zarkon.

“What are you doing? Be happy for Lotor.”

“I am happy for him…” Muttered Yurak. “I just don’t like crowds.”

“... Keep acting bitter and I’m going to arrange your marriage with an Altean too.” He quickly looked around and gestured to some of the women of the Altean court. “One of them.” 

“...” Yurak looked at their uncle with a blank expression. “I’m gay.”

Zarkon frowned a little and turned to Alfor. “Hey, Alfor. Question for you.”

“Yes?” Asked the Altean king. “Do you allow same sex marriage on your planet?”

Alfor nodded. “Yes. Why?”

"No reason." Zarkon looked back at Yurak. “The threat still stands.”

Yurak huffed and his ears pinned back against his head. He decided it would be best to just sit around, drink some alcohol, eat food, and slip away before he got forced to dance with anyone. He was pretty sure that Zarkon would make him dance with someone. Even if it’s just to keep up appearances. He didn’t want that.

Speeches were given when everyone was settled in. Alfor gave some heartfelt speech about both Alteans and Galrans coming together and how Allura and Lotor had been in love for years before and how this was meant to be. That the both of them were a symbol of peace. Zarkon’s speech was pretty much the same but he leaned a little more to looking towards the future.

Then it was Yurak’s turn. He wanted to throw himself into the sun. He cleared his throat. “S-so… I have known Lotor pretty much my whole life. Makes sense since I am his younger cousin… I could go on about how when we grew up he stumbled in sword fighting, how he didn’t manage to have a successful hunt until he was well into his teenage years, but that is arbitrary at this point. It has been clear to me that Lotor and Allura were meant to be… And I couldn’t be happier for you two. Cheers to the happy couple.”

He raised his glass and so did everyone else. After that the maid of honour gave her speech and everyone started to eat. As they ate music started to play. Yurak’s ears flattened against his head when he heard the nellophone playing. He looked over and saw Lance playing that weird pipe instrument. He still didn’t like the instrument that much and the look of discomfort on Zarkon, Lotor, and Shiro’s face confirmed to Yurak that Galra didn’t like it.

Soon Lotor and Allura had their first dance. It was beautiful and they both looked like the spitting image of a young couple in love. After the first dance everyone else was free to come onto the dance floor and mingle with each other. Yurak took this as the perfect time to take a drink and quickly slip away into the castle.

He was glad that no one was really comfortable talking to him yet. He slipped into the castle and down a hallway. As he walked his ears perked up when he heard Shiro talking to someone in one of the side rooms.

“-missed you.” Said Shiro quietly.

“I know you did.” Said another man’s voice. “You haven’t stopped saying that since we’ve been alone.”

“Well it’s true… You… Are you seeing anyone?”

“Right now? In a romantic sense? No. But there is someone I am interested in.” 

“Oh… Um… Well good luck with that…” Said Shiro. “I hope you two can find happiness together…”

“... Takashi, you are still a big, dumb, purple idiot. Come here.” There was quiet for a moment before Yurak heard a thump. He looked into the room and saw Shiro pressing an Altean man up against a wall. The Altran seemed responsive and was trying to pull him closer.

“...” Yurak cleared his throat and both quickly looked over at him and jumped away. Shiro’s fur was puffed up in embarrassment and the Altean was blushing bright red. “So… Is this that Adam guy you were talking about?”

Shiro nodded a little and tried to flatten the fur on his face. “Y-yeah… Adam, this is my littermate. Yurak. Yurak this is Adam… We um… We technically both fought in the war.”

“Opposite sides, clearly.” Clarified Adam. “... It um… It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise… Maybe you should find a bedroom for that or a room further away?” Suggested Yurak.

“Yes. We’ll do that…” Said Shiro quickly. The two quickly left the room and went down the hall.

Yurak chuckled and grinned. Shiro was an idiot sometimes. But he was glad that Shiro was probably going to get laid. He deserved it. Yurak decided to hide in the room for a little bit because it was quiet but close enough to the reception that he could go back every once in a while so people would say he was there.

The doors opened up and Lance walked in, looking a little tired. “Oh hey. Didn’t think you ran off here.” He flopped onto a chair and sighed. “I can’t believe Allura’s really married… It feels like only yesterday we were playing in the gardens and now… Now we are adults… Getting married… Nice speech by the way. Very classy.”

Yurak shrugged. “I didn’t really know what else to say. Zarkon and Alfor were all about the whole unity of our people and what not. I’m just happy that he is happy.”

Lance nodded a little and smiled at him. “Yeah. I’d probably say the same thing if Allura let me say a speech. Oh well, I am just a fool. I play the music and tumble around. Food was good though.”

“Yeah. Hunk gave us more meat.”

“He’s good like that.” The Altean smiled up at him with those pretty blue eyes. It made Yurak’s fur puff up a little. 

“What?”

“I think you have something behind your ear.”

“What?” Yurak frowned and started to rake his claws over his ears. He didn’t think he had anything behind his ears. Zarkon would get so pissed off at him if he had a leaf behind his ear and it showed up in photos. “Did I get it?”

“Almost. Let me.” Lance stood up and reached out. He touched Yurak’s ear and Yurak inwardly cringed when his ear started twitching. “Got it!” Lance moved back and he was holding a large bottle of alcohol. “And there’s something behind your other ear…” He reached up and pulled two tall thin glasses out from behind his other ear. “Want a glass?”

Yurak frowned and touched his ears. “... I do not like how you do that.”

Lance laughed and happily poured them both a glass of the odd bubbly purple liquid. He offered one to Yurak. “I thought you guys liked magic?”

“...” Yurak took the cup and sniffed it. It was fruity. “So, why aren’t you out there with everyone else?” 

Lance shrugged and sat back down. “Allura’s too busy off doing her own thing with Lotor. Hunk’s organising the kitchen, and Pidge is somewhere… I have no idea where they are but they are making all the lighting and stuff all fancy. I already played the song Allura wanted. So I’m all good now. Time for a short break.”

Yurak nodded a little and sat on a chair opposite him. “So you’re going to sit here and drink with me?”

“Yep. Unless you want to drink alone?”

“... I wouldn’t mind some company…”

Lance grinned and held up his glass. “I propose a toast.”

Yurak raised an eyebrow and copied his action. “A toast?”

“Yep. A toast to the newlyweds?” Suggested Lance. “A toast to our people getting along? Friendship? Take your pick. It’s just fun to toast.”

“A toast for toasting’s sake?”

Lance grinned. “A toast for toasting.” 

They clinked their glasses together and drank. It was kind of sweet and bubbly. Yurak liked it. The alcohol back on Diabazeel was stronger and much more bitter. Depending on the region it could be pretty thick too. Like honey or syrup.

Lance sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Man… I wish I was able to have a wedding like this. It’s so big and fancy…”

“Weddings aren’t meant to be big and fancy.” Said Yurak calmly. “Weddings are meant to be small and intimate. Meant to make you and your partner feel loved and special, You don’t have to do something this crazy… I’d honestly hate having a wedding like this. I can hardly get through this reception.”

Lance shrugged. “Well I guess we have different ideas about weddings… You have anyone you’re interested in?”

“I already told you I wasn’t interested in courting anyone right now.” Said Yurak. He sighed and closed his eyes. “Zarkon threatened to marry me off.”

“Oh no. Can he do that?”

“Yes. But I think he was joking… Maybe.” Muttered Yurak. “His sense of humor is relatively dry… He said he’d make me marry an Altean.”

“... What’s so bad about Alteans?”

“Nothing. They will just want a wedding like this.” Said Yurak. “I could marry an Altean if I liked them… That’s kind of the best I can hope for… That we end up getting along…”

Lance frowned. “What do you mean?”

Yurak shrugged. “I’m technically royalty. When you’re royalty you aren’t a person. You’re a powerpiece. You’re important for making political power. Everything you do is to make the people in power stay in power.” He sighed. “If I don’t find someone to marry soon Zarkon will probably organise something…” His ears drooped. “But that’s life as a royal for you.”

“... Do you not want to get married?”

“It isn’t really my call.” Said Yurak. “I’m part of Galran royalty. It’s expected… At least Lotor and Allura really liked each other...”

“...”

Yurak shrugged a little and drank his own drink. “So, are you interested in anyone? You talk about getting married a lot. You trying to court a young woman?”

Lance shrugged and poured more alcohol for them both. “Not really. I mean, I like some people and all the ladies love loverboy Lance. Lots of guys too.”

“But no one you really want to be with?”

The Altean seemed to think for a while. “... No. Not right now… Been too busy worrying about Allura having the perfect wedding and all that. You know?”

“Yeah… This has been pretty hectic.” Yurak finished his drink and frowned a little. “Do you know an Altean named Adam?”

Lance frowned as he thought. “Huh… I have heard of him. A soldier? Probably got a medal at some point. Why?”

“That guy and Shiro are probably going to fuck.”

Lance almost choked to death on his drink. “What?!”

Yurak shrugged. “I walked in on them making out like younglings. They are going to find somewhere quiet and fuck.”

“... Oh wow…”

“Yeah.” Yurak sighed a little and stood up, stretching. “Well, I better get back out there and schmooze around a bit before Zarkon starts questioning where I am.”

“Y-yeah… and I better get out there and entertain my adoring public.” Lance quickly finished off his drink and looked at the bottle. “... You want this?” Yurak shrugged and took it from the Altean, quickly chugging the rest of the bottle. Lance’s jaw dropped. “Are you okay?”

Yurak nodded and put the empty bottle down. “Trust me, if I’m going to be forced to mingle around so many people I’ll need it.”


	30. Doughnut holes (POTO AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Majority of you guys wanted more POTO au so here it is. Remember, you can always ask me to write certain aus if you feel like it. I have a bunch of other half finished aus that I haven't even posted yet (X-men au, fairy au, mermaid au ect). So if there is one that's really vibing with you let me know and depending on how much it's finished I might post it the next day (or in the same day if it's super short lol). Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance hated to say it. He didn’t want to admit it. But the Phantom guy knew what he was talking about. They had him doing scales every single day. He even practiced a few times at home too. When he warmed up his vocal cords with everyone he was finding it a lot easier. Allura took notice and commented on it.

“Your range is improving.” Said Allura happily after practice one day. “Have you been getting a voice coach?”

Lance chuckled and grinned. “Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t.”

“Lance…”

“... Maybe I have.” Muttered Lance as he played with one of the strings on his hoodie.

“Well that’s wonderful.” She said with a smile. “You were already really good before. A few more sessions and a little bit more practice with the choreography, then you will be able to rival Lotor.”

Lance blushed bright red. Lotor was a huge deal. He pretty much always got the lead male role in every production for the past three years. He deserved it too, but he was so good at acting he would always be the one that everyone talked about after. No one cared about the other men that took the lead role when Lotor wasn’t scheduled to perform that day. It was all that everyone talked about, but the worst thing was that Lotor was nice. He was a genuinely good person. Everyone liked him. A little snooty, but still nice.

“Aw, I’m not that good.”

Allura brushed him off. “Nonsense. You’re doing really well. Maybe this time when they talk about the musical and talk about Bert, they will say; Bert? Wasn’t he played by Lance? Lotor who?”

Lance blushed some more and lightly pushed her. “Oh stop it you. You’re too much.”

“And you’re not enough.” She said with a smirk. “So, want to get some coffee?”

Lance shook his head. “I can’t. I have singing lessons after this. Can’t clog up the old vocal cords with all that lactose.”

“Ah, very true.” She picked up her bag and grinned. “Well, tonight when you are done with them can you grab a card from them or something? If they can improve your singing, which was already pretty damn good, in about a week I want to see what they can do for me.”

“I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not making any promises.”

“Thanks Lance. You’re a peach.” She quickly pecked him on the cheek and happily headed off. Allura had been a close friend of his since high school. She was lovely, sweet, and like an older sister to him. 

He sat around the backstage and looked through his bag. At the bottom of his bag was a box of cinnamon doughnut holes. He had bought them early in the morning as a bit of a thank you for not trying to kick me out while you are working, gift for Keith. The guy deserved it after all the times he had just been quietly cleaning hours after everyone was gone and he just showed up and scared the shit out of him.

He looked around for Keith and found him in the hallway, looking at the bottles of cleaning products. The man was wearing his dark blue overalls that made his pale skin stand out a lot. His pretty purple looking eyes were framed by his long black hair. He was pretty. He seemed to be contemplating something, but Lance didn’t know what. 

“Keith!” He called.

The janitor jumped and ended up juggling the bottles in his hands for a few seconds before he managed to get a good hold of them. He took a deep breath and carefully put the bottles down and quickly signed hi to him.

Lance smiled and walked over with the box behind his back. “Hey. So, quick question. “Do you like doughnuts?”

Keith looked confused for a moment before he eyed him suspiciously and nodded.

“Awesome. Here.” He handed the doughnuts holes to him. “Here you go. Fresh cinnamon doughnut holes… Well, they were made today anyway… But I hope you like them.”

Keith hesitantly took them from him and signed why to him. He looked very confused.

Lance just smiled and shrugged. “Well, I keep spooking you by accident, and if you ask me people in your profession don’t get thanked enough. So like, consider it a thanks for doing your job and sorry I keep freaking you out kinda gift?”

Keith went bright red, nodded very quickly and quickly vanished down the hallway. Presumably to put the food away from all the chemical stuff. It was cute. It made him grin. Keith was cute. He probably would have died of embarrassment if Lance sang a love song to him or just a song in general. The poor sweet thing.

While he was quietly laughing over this he heard piano playing from the theater. Lance grinned and happily headed back to the stage to see the Phantom playing scales. His hair was tied back into a high ponytail and was wearing an MCR graphic T-shirt, and ripped blue jeans. Still wearing the stupid mask though.

He looked up and nodded at Lance, quickly switching from the piece he was playing to a few scales. Lance chuckled and started singing the notes as he walked over to him. Once he was standing next to the piano the Phantom finished off the scale and looked up at him.

“You’ve improved a lot. Good job.”

“Aw, thanks man. Guess you were right about practicing.”

“Of course I was.” They stood up and looked Lance over. “... Stand up a little straighter. You’re kind of slouching.”

“Am not.”

The Phantom rolled his eyes and stood behind him. He put his hands on Lance’s shoulders and very carefully changed his stance. His hands were soft, but firm. He then carefully nudged Lance’s feet apart a little and squared his hips. He then walked in front of him and tilted his chin up a little.

“Better.”

“Better?”

“Better posture.” He sat back at the piano and cracked his knuckles. “Now… Again.” Once they finished the next set the Phantom grinned up at him. “Hear the difference? It’s all about the posture.”

“Yeah. I really noticed.”

“Yep.” The Phantom looked through the sheet music left at the table and hummed a little to themselves until they found what they were after. “Okay. Time to work on actual songs.”

“What. really?” Lance was super excited.

The Phantom chuckled at his enthusiasm and nodded. “Now, you have to remember that this is your first song. The audience knows nothing of your character. How you walk and the way you sing your song is going to influence that. Lotor always plays his characters a little more straight laced than they should. He’ll play Bert as more of a kind man that just happens to have a dozen different jobs. Bert is a comical, fun loving, honest hustler kind of guy. If you want to stand out and make people remember you, don’t copy Lotor down to a T. Make Bert yours and play to your strengths.”

Lance was surprised by the bit of acting advice. “Really?”

The Phantom nodded and grinned. “Yep. Lance you have charisma. You have enough charisma to make you shine. Lance, you’re already a star. You just need a little work to shine your brightest.”

Lance could feel his face heating up. “You hitting on me or something?”

“... Depends.”

“On what?”

“Is it working?”

Lance’s face was heating up more. “Oh wow… Smooth move there Phantom.”

The Phantom laughed and winked at him. “You know it. Now… Back to work. I’m not getting paid to flirt with you.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I’m not paying you at all.”

“Hearing your voice improve is payment enough.” Said the Phantom. “And when I get to see you perform on stage for the first time I’ll consider my work done.” They played a few notes. “I love the theater…”

“... Have you ever been on stage before?”

“No… I like the stage, but the limelight was never my thing.” Said the Phantom. “No matter how much I wanted to get out there and show the world what I could do… No one really ever wanted to hear me. Just told me to shut up and stop making noise… I guess I just don’t want to bother anyone with hearing me if I’m just going to annoy them.”

“... I don’t think you’re annoying.” Said Lance. “And I really like hearing you sing and play music. You’re amazing. Anyone would be lucky to hear you sing.”

“...” The Phantom nervously laughed a little and cracked his knuckles. “Anyway, let’s get started. We’ll sing it all the way from start to finish and then I’ll point out where you were flat, sharp, or sung the wrong note…”

***

Lance got him doughnut holes. A cute boy got him doughnut holes. After work, Shiro had picked him up and Keith had been quiet the whole time, which worried Shiro a little, but when they got back home Keith just signed that work was just stressful and he was tired. He then went back to his room and got the food out of his bag.

So there Keith was, sitting on his bed with an unopened box of doughnut holes in front of him. This was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever given him. Beside’s stuff that Shiro gave him of course. Keith still couldn’t believe that Lance gave him something when they hardly knew each other. It probably meant nothing, but Keith kind of wanted it to mean something.

“...” He opened up the box and continued to stare at the doughnut holes. He liked cinnamon doughnuts a lot… They tasted really, really good and Keith was a man of simple pleasures. Though he was still wary of the gift.

Lance could have put something in them, like nails or chili flakes. Maybe glass? He knew those were horrible things to think about since Lance was so nice to him for no reason, but that made him really uneasy. Lance was nice to him for no reason. He could be messing around with him and trying to make him feel comfortable around him before he hit him with the harsh hammer of reality.

The only thing that made him doubt that line of thought was the little plastic sticker that sealed the box. He took one out of the box, ripped it open, inspected the insides and ate it. It was good. He felt a little bad about doubting Lance before.

He was a really nice guy. Not one of those neckbeard, why are all the girls fucking Chad and not me, nice guys. He was a nice person. Now, what was the next step in this relationship that they had? Was Keith meant to gift something to Lance? Was that how this worked? He wasn’t too sure.

He sighed and lied down on his back, pulling the food onto his chest. Keith wasn’t sure what to make of this. Lance was one of the strangest people he had been around ever. And that was saying something. He technically lived with two theater geeks that loved the theater so much they bought a bloody theater.

He shook his head and ate some more doughnut holes. Maybe he was thinking too much about this. He usually did. He was paranoid enough as it was. He didn’t need to keep thinking about the very, very cute guy he was teaching to sing… Couldn’t think about his pretty eyes and soft lips… His lightly fluffy hair and kind smile… He knew he was whipped.


	31. A Knife! (Monsters and Manna AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More monsters and manna stuff! I'm going to do a mega chapter dump today because I have a lot of finished chapters I want to share with you guys. I'll be posting two more chapters today, three if I don't get stuck doing dishes and some other stuff tonight. lol. So expect at least two more chapters in the next few hours. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Through a series of convoluted events, the party was forced into an archery tournament in the town of Etherdale.The only ones proficient with using a bow and arrow were Valayun and Thundar. So they both entered the competition. They needed to win it to get the grand prize, which was enchanted armor. They needed to trage the armor for a map from a creepy looking goblin man in a tavern two towns over.

Thundar was practicing his skills out in an open field while Pike watched him. The weirdo had started to grow on him over their many weeks of adventuring together. Sure Pike was an asshole, but he was kind of fun to be around.

He shot an arrow at a tree next to Pike and made him jump. “Hey! Watch where you’re shooting those!”

“Relax. I know what’s doing.” Said Thundar. “I’ll win us that enchanted armor.”

“My money is on Valayun.” Said Pike. “She’s a lot better at shooting arrows than you are.”

“Oh? Want a bet?”

“Sure.” Pike hummed and drummed their fingers on their knee. “Let’s see… You got a lot of gold for doing that little hunting thing, right?”

“Yeah?”

“If Valayun wins then you give me all your gold.”

Thundar rolled his eyes. “Yeah, your soul motivation is money.”

“There are worse things to be motivated by.” Said Pike. “What do you want if you win? My money?”

“I don’t want your money. I’m not that interested in money. I want something else.”

That seemed to perk Pike’s interest a little. “Oh? You want something else?” They stood up and dusted themselves off. “Hmm, now what could interest you? What could the scary ranger possibly want?” He happily walked over to Thundar and batted his eyelashes at him. It made the heat rise in his cheeks. “What does the great Thundar want?”

“Your knife.” He said quickly.

“... My knife?” Asked Pike in confusion. He took his knife out of his pocket and turned it over in his hands. “You want my knife? This knife? The knife I have in my hands right now?”

“... Yes?” Honestly it was just the first thing that he thought of. Now he had to justify wanting the knife. “It looks practical and it’s well balanced. Looks good for bleeding animals out.”

“Well you aren’t wrong…” Muttered Pike. “Deal. I’m totally going to take all your money when Valayun wins!” He shook Thundar’s hand to seal the deal.

***

The tournament was pretty hectic. Pike, Block, Meklavar, and Shiro happily sat in the grandstand while Thundar and Valayun were mingling and competing with the other contestants. There were a few rounds of normal shooting and what not. Thundar and Valayun easily climbed in the rankings of the competition up to the final round.

“They’re doing really well.” Said Shiro. “One of them is bound to win the armor.”

“And if they don’t we can steal it.” Said Pike.

Shiro glared at him. “No.”

“It was just a joke.”

“Really?”

“... Maybe?”

Meklavar rolled her eyes. “The armor is enchanted. No freaking way we can steal it from someone if they put it on.”

Pike frowned. “So you’re saying we have to kill them?”

“Please no killing…” Said Block.

“We shouldn’t kill them if they win fair and square.” Said Shiro. “We might be able to bargain with them? We still have some of those stones of purification?”

Maklavar glared at him. “You can have my stones when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.”

“It was just a suggestion.” Muttered Shiro.

“Oh it’s Valayun’s turn!” Said Block excitedly.

The group watched as she shot three arrows at moving targets. The arrows hit all three moving targets. The targets were enchanted and exploded when she hit them. She fired three more arrows but missed one. All in all she hit 5 out of the 6 targets. She bowed to the judges and everyone cheered.

Pike grinned and rubbed his hands together. “That’s our girl. I’m about to be fifty gold richer.”

“Why? Asked Block.

Maklaver rolled her eyes. “Pike made a bet with Thundar. If Valayun wins the competition then Thundar gives Pike all his gold. If Thundar wins then Pike has to give him his knife.”

Pike grinned. “Yep, and we all know how awesome Valayun is so there is no way I’m losing my knife. I’m about to get richer.”

It was Thundar’s turn to shoot. He quickly fired five arrows. He hit four of the five targets. Pike was practically cackling right now. If they tied then no one won, but if he missed this one then he was going to get richer. There was no way he could lose.

Thundar looked down at his arrow then up at the targets. He only had one arrow left. He quickly lined up his shot, took a deep breath, and let it go. The arrow flew through the air, hit the first target, it exploded into glitter, but the arrow kept flying and hit the target that he had missed before. Thundar hit all six targets. He won. The crowd went wild. Block and Maklaver were losing their shit. Shiro cheered for him. Valayun hugged Thundar tightly and spun him around. Pike lamented the loss of his knife.

***

Thundar didn’t want Pike’s knife. He really didn’t. But after he came over to the group with the enchanted armor Pike just shoved it into his hands and stormed off. He felt bad. Before they left Shiro and Block wanted to check out the markets. Thundar wandered off to find the blacksmith.

He bought some enchanted arrowtips for himself and asked about enchanting the knife Pike gave him. All it cost him was twenty gold and a breeze element shard. It was whisper quiet, light as a feather, and returned to the thrower’s hand with the snap of their fingers. It just needed to attune to their handler first.

Thundar easily found Pike trying to flirt with some women by the fountain. “Pike!” The women quickly left and headed off so they could talk in private.

Pike looked over at him and his ears flattened against his head. “What do you want?”

“...” Thundar took the knife out of his pocket and handed it back. “Here. I’m not versed enough in knives to use it. Thought it would be better off if you had it.”

Pike was suspicious and took the knife from him. He looked at it and frowned. “This isn’t my knife…”

“Yeah. I kind of got it enchanted.” He muttered. “I had some element shards left over from when he fought the elemental titans… Thought you would like it? I can get it unenchanted if you like?”

“... No, I’ll keep it.” Said Pike. “No take backs.”

***

“Aww that’s cute.” Cooed Pidge. “Thundar’s totally crushing on Pike.”

“Thundar isn’t crushing on Pike.” Insisted Keith. “He just… He isn’t proficient with knives.”

“Sure.”

A ding rang out from the kitchen and Hunk got up. “The cookies are done.”

“Shall we call it an evening?” Asked Allura.

Coran nodded and turned off his datapad. “Sounds like a good idea. You’ve managed to get the enchanted armor and now you can get the map to continue your quest. Allura, Keith, you two did really well in the competition. Smart move using your Lucky feat to get both those targets Keith.”

Keith shrugged. “It was nothing. If I didn’t win Allura would have.” 

The group packed their things and headed to the kitchen to get some cookies. Lance and Keith hung back a little to talk a little more privately. 

Lance smiled and lightly nudged Keith’s arm. “I thought you sold all your elemental shards?”

“... I sold most of them, but you kind of whined that you didn’t find anything useful.” Said Keith. “So I just thought since I won your knife I could make it better? I don’t have the levels to use a knife like that anyway.”

“Aww, thanks man.” Lance quickly looked around and when he was sure no one was looking, he quickly kissed Keith’s cheek.

Keith went bright red. “If-if you’re going to kiss just for giving your game character what are you going to do when I save your ass in a fight against a dragon?”

Lance shrugged and smirked. “Probably blow you in the training room.”

“... Seriously?”

“You’ll have to defeat a dragon to find out.”


	32. Potato fries (Modern Fantasy AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance gets frustrated and tries to teach our potato elf how to cook... With mixed results. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It had been three days since the Nyma incident and Lance had been working his butt off to lose weight. Every day along with his normal exercise he went ahead and did sit ups, crunches, and squats at home. While he was doing this, Keith, the chubby elf man, had made himself home on Lance’s couch.

“So… You gonna do any exercise today?”

Keith shrugged and flipped through the magazine he was reading. “I’ll start tomorrow.”

Lance just sighed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” He quickly rolled up his yoga mat and went to walk to his room. 

Keith looked up at him and frowned. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going for a walk.” Said Lance. “Might get some stuff from dinner too.”

Keith’s eyes immediately lit up. “Yeah? I’ll come with you! Just let me go to the bathroom first.”

As the elf quickly went off to the bathroom Lance just rolled his eyes and started to walk to the door. “We’re not buying fries. Just hurry up… Ow!” Lance leaned against the wall and lifted his foot. He’d stepped on something small and sharp. He carefully took it out of his foot and stared at it. It looked like a tiny wood chip. Lance shrugged and tossed it into the trash.

“I’m ready to go human!” Said Keith. “Where are we going?”

Lance shrugged and slipped on his shoes. “Well I was thinking we could circle around the dog park.”

Keith frowned. “Let’s go around the other way, around the fry hut.”

“I already told you we aren’t buying fries!” Said Lance sternly as he left the apartment.

Keith pouted a little as he followed him. “Isn’t night time the perfect time for fries though?”

“For the last time no fries! Didn’t you eat them for lunch as well?”

“... No?”

“Oh that’s right, you had a McDonalds bag full of hash browns.”

“They are the ones at fault!” Accused Keith. “If they didn’t want me to eat them at lunch then they wouldn’t have served all day breakfasts!”

Lance shook his head as he walked down the street. “I think the biggest atrocity was you ate twenty of them and dipped them in pancake syrup and that whipped butter.”

Keith pouted and blushed a little. “I am not apologizing for that.”

Lance just sighed and continued on his walk. They stopped off at the grocery store and Lance quickly bought some healthy food to cook at home. Keith seemed intrigued by the ingredients that Lance had bought and watched him cook when they got back to the apartment. Lance was quite proud of the dish he had made; brown rice and vegetable curry with avocado and chickpea salad.

The elf frowned a little and glared at it. “This is… It’s a very fragrant looking mud.”

“It’s curry. Haven’t you had it before?”

“Seen it, but never eaten it.”

“Just try some.”

Keith sighed and ate a mouthful. “... My tongue hurts.”

“Good thing this is a mild curry…” Lance sighed and ate his own dinner. “You know Keith, I’d really appreciate it if you ate more food. More well balanced foods.”

Keith shrugged but continued to eat. “I already have the best fries money can buy.”

“... Just try your best to diet properly tomorrow. Okay?”

***

But tomorrow never came. For the past five days the two went through the same routine. Lance would eat healthy, do some mild exercise, and then bike to work. They would then come home and go for a walk after work before dinner. Meanwhile, Keith was sleeping in late, playing the switch, only leaving the house to eat potatoes, and then sleeping again.

By Saturday Lance was done with it. Keith had gone out and grabbed a large fries to snack on while he was reading yet another magazine. It was obvious that Lance needed to take extreme measures.

“The fuck Keith?! You haven’t been dieting at all!”

The elf just shrugged and ate some more fries. “I’ve been busy. I’ll start tomorrow.”

“You always say that!” Snapped Lance. “You say you’ll work hard tomorrow but tomorrow never comes! So it’s time to take drastic measures!” He pulled a large piece of plastic out from behind the couch and quickly fastened it around Keith’s neck. “Cone of potato shame!”

Keith looked very unamused. He attempted to eat a fry like he normally would, but he couldn’t put his hand anywhere near his mouth. It was impossible. Keith growled and just emptied the pack of fries into the cone. He seemed to be mildly successful. 

“Fuck!” He hissed through a mouth full of potatoes. “I think I got some salt in my eye.”

Lance sighed and took off the cone. “Okay fine… Plan B it is! Come with me.” He walked to the kitchen with Keith following close behind. He pointed to the countertop where he had left out the raw ingredient of Keith’s favourite food. “You know what these are?”

“Potatoes?” Answered Keith in a way that made it sound more like a question.

“That’s right.” Said Lance with a grin. “Look, your addiction to potatoes is really crazy. Even beyond what some humans would consider normal. So we’re going to cook them ourselves. If you cook fries yourself, you can control the amount of calories they have in them.”

“... Really?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. When you make things yourself at home it’s easier to control what goes into your body. You can adjust spices, salt levels, and most importantly in your case, oils. Have you cooked anything from this world before?”

“Nope.”

“That’s fine. I’ll teach you.” Lance rolled up his sleeves and got out what they needed. “Let’s start by washing the potatoes.” 

Lance was more than happy to talk Keith through the process and let him do most of the work. He got him to cut the potatoes the way the elf liked them. Lance then wrapped the potatoes in plastic wrap and put them in the microwave for 4 minutes. Keith’s ears twitched as he watched the potatoes slowly spinning around in the microwave. When it dinged Lance took the potatoes out and lightly seasoned them with salt and pepper. 

“Okay, now we cook them.” He poured a generous amount of olive oil in a pan to shallow fry them and handed the potatoes to Keith. “Be careful not to burn yourself.”

“... Okay…” Keith very carefully put the potatoes in the pan, jumping a little when they sizzled and popped. “Oh!”

Lance chuckled a little and handed Keith a spatula. “Here. Now you fry them until they are golden brown and then you flip them over.”

“... Fry? Like fries?”

“Yep. Now keep an eye on them.”

“Right.” Keith kept a very tentative eye on the potatoes. He seemed to actually enjoy cooking, which made Lance grin. If Keith could get into cooking then maybe he could start to lose some weight. 

Soon, Keith had finished cooking and the chips were laid out on a plate. Lance grinned and high fived him. “Hey! You did it!”

Keith smiled and high fived back. “Yeah. Thanks Lance… You want to share?”

“Sure.” They both grabbed a fry and ate it. Lance was happy with how it turned out. They were light and fluffy in the middle and crunchy on the outside. “These are pretty good. Great job Keith.” He patted his back, but the elf didn’t look very pleased. “... Something wrong?”

“Needs more oil.”

“... The whole point of the recipe was to cut down on oil.”

Keith shrugged and ate another. “I guess… You know, cooking did give me a sense of accomplishment. I’d kind of like to try a few more recipes.”

“Cool. I’ll teach you all you need to know about healthy cooking and eating.”

“Okay.”

***

Later that evening after they finished the fries and ate a healthier dinner of veggie burgers, Lance went and had a shower. He was glad that he finally got Keith back on track with his diet and hopefully now things would improve. All he had to do was get Keith to exercise more.

He got into his pyjamas and walked out to the lounge room. “Hey Keith, bathrooms free if you want to shower. I- what are you doing?”

Keith was in the middle of the living room floor. He had pushed the coffee table out of the way and was sitting on several sheets of newspaper. He was holding a long, thin stick and was whittling one end to a point. He has a small pile of sharpened sticks next to him. 

“Oh! I um, I’m making arrows.” He said. “When that satyr attacks again I want to be well prepared. I have my knives but I want some arrows too.”

Lance nodded and looked down at the pile of wood chips. “I see… So you’re making it yourself?”

“Yep. I make all my weapons myself.” Said Keith. “Knives, bow and arrows, shoes, clothes-”

“You make your own clothes?”

“Well the clothes from my world. The clothes I’m wearing now are from your world.” He went back to carefully whittling down his arrow. “I haven’t found any suitable feathers or stones I can use to finish these off, but I’m still looking. If worse comes to worst they’ll just be good sharp sticks.”

Lance was stunned. Did that mean that the wood chip he stepped on earlier in the week was from an arrow that Keith was making? He was doing this all for his protection? He actually cared enough about him to do that?

“... Hey Keith? Can I ask you something?”

The elf looked up at him. “Hmm? What’s up?”

“... Did you really come here just to eat french fries?”

“Yep.”

“But where did you even hear about french fries anyway?”

Keith shrugged. “Just at some place I was stopping off on my journey.”

“Your journey?”

“...” Keith went back to making his arrows. “In my world, there was a war. A really, really bad one. I was born during the war and it only ended a few years ago. After the war I had a lot of free time. With all the freetime I had I decided to visit various elf villages. In some of those villages were people who had visited this world. From them I learned about the location of the gate and I came here.”

Lance nodded. “I see. So when you first ate french fries, how did you like them?”

Keith grinned. “It was amazing. It was like heaven on earth. Something I never experienced before. It was indescribable…” His grin softened slightly as he looked up at Lance. “But you know what? It didn’t just satisfy my hunger. French fries satisfied something deeper in me as well… It’s hard to describe, but for the first time in a long time I went out with a goal in mind and I was able to accomplish it. I wanted to travel here to each french fries and I was able to do it.”

“Oh…”

Keith smiled a little and brushed some wood chips off himself. “You know what? All this talk about fries is making me hungry. Late night fry run?”

“... No.”


	33. Honeymoon (Incubus VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Have some more pain and suffering! Because deep down we all know you love some angst you dirty heathens. So have this! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy! >:D

“And here are your rings.” The woman at the jewelry store handed over their wedding bands. 

Lance was giddy with excitement as he took it and happily put Keith’s ring on his finger. Keith did the same for him. He quickly kissed Keith on the cheek before looking back at the woman. “Thank you very much. Have a good day.”

“You too.”

Lance laced his fingers with Keith’s and happily walked out of the shop. He was excited. As far as he was concerned they were married. They should celebrate. They were in a rather quante and nice looking town. They could probably have dinner at the nice bed and breakfast they were staying at. Keith had wanted to sleep in a nice bed, so they were going to sleep in a nice bed.

He grinned at Keith and kissed him again. “Now we’re married. Well, as officially married as we can get.”

Keith nodded and smiled at him. “Y-yeah. I guess we are. I-I didn’t think that I’d ever get married…”

Lance chuckled and kissed him again. He just wanted to keep kissing him all day. “Well I love you. I love you so much. I’ll always love you. Keith, you already have my heart. This is almost the natural next step. Yeah?”

“Y-yeah.”

He smiled and ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. “Let’s head back to our room. We should probably consummate our marriage, yeah?”

Keith seemed a little surprised but nodded and followed Lance back to the bed and breakfast they were staying at. The place did kind of feel like a doll house but he felt that it fit Keith perfectly. He wasn’t sure why. It just did.

When they got to their room Keith kicked off his shoes and sat on the bed. He was looking down at his hand at the ring. Lance was very pleased that Keith liked the ring. Since he had given it to him, Keith had seemed less anxious and Lance was able to spend more time away from him. Keith was even able to go for little walks on his own. It was nice that things were going back to normal.

Lance sat behind him, loosely wrapped his arms around Keith’s back and kissed his neck. Keith was so wonderful. So pretty. So kind. So wonderful. He loved him. He loved him so much. He had been joking around a little when he had been talking about consummating their marriage, but he wouldn’t mind if Keith wanted him too. They had really only had sex when Lance was starving and needed something to sustain him until he was able to find a better source of food. If they had sex now it would be the first time they would do it without Lance needing it.

Keith put his hands on Lance’s and rubbed his thumb over his own wedding band. He seemed to relax a little and that made Lance smile. Keith was finding comfort in it. In him. Keith loved him and wanted to be with him. He was sure that Keith would have been too terrified to even consider such a thing after the disaster that was Lance’s family.

“I love you.” Said Keith quietly. “D-does this mean you won’t leave me? E-ever?”

“I’ll never leave you.” Said Lance. “We’re married now. You’re my husband and I’m your husband… I know this is a little backwards but we could say some vows to each other? We can take the rings off and put them back on again?”

“I guess… But I don’t really know any vows.”

Lance shrugged. “Well, vows are special promises that you make to the person you marry. Promises that you are going to keep for the whole time you are married. Stuff like, you’ll stay with them when they are sick or hurt. You won’t abandon them and love them forever. That kind of stuff.”

Keith nodded as he thought about this. “I-I want to say vows… Can we say vows to each other?”

Lance smiled and moved so he was sitting next to him. “Of course. Do you want to go first or will I?”

“C-can you go first?” Asked Keith quietly. “I-I don’t really know what to say…”

Lance kissed his cheek and held his hands. “Of course.” He cleared his throat. “Keith Kogane. I love you. I love you so much it’s almost painful. I’ve seen you grow into a wonderful young man. You’ve been so good to me… Keith, my beloved, I promise you that as long as I am alive I will protect you. I will keep you safe. I will never let anything bad happen to you, and if something bad happens I will do everything I can to keep you safe and heal you again. No matter what happens I will be there for you. I’ll love you forever. You’re my soulmate.”

Keith was bright red by the end of Lance’s speech. It was cute. It made Lance’s heart flutter with excitement. He was so cute. Lance just wanted to push Keith down onto the mattress and screw him silly. Just to make him feel good. Not because he wanted to eat. It was such an odd feeling. Considering he was an Incubus if that wasn’t love, then what was it?

Keith nervously cleared his throat, copying Lance. “Lance, I’ve known you pretty much my whole life… You’ve saved my life many times, taken care of me, and loved me more than a-any human ever has… N-no one has ever wanted me like you have a-and I love you.” He said quietly. “I-I’m going to look after you. I’ll keep you safe. Like you have done for me. I’ll always make sure you’re well fed so you don’t go hungry anymore. I l-love you… You’re my… You’re my soulmate too…”

Hearing him say that Lance grin from ear to ear. Keith had never called him his soulmate before, so this was a big deal for Lance. “That was beautiful.” Said Lance quietly.

“R-really?” Asked Keith. He seemed unsure of himself. “I wasn’t sure if it…”

“It was perfect.” Reassured Lance. “Everything you said was so… I thought I was going to cry from happiness.”

“R-really?”

Lance nodded and wrapped his arms around Keith, pulling him into a passionate kiss. “You’ve made me the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. I love you so much. Let me show you how much I love you.”

Keith seemed a little apprehensive. Neither of them had gone and had sex since what happened with Lance’s family. Lance didn’t want to press it or make Keith uncomfortable, but Keith did say he would make sure he’s always well fed. He’d much prefer it if Keith would do this willingly and not because of a promise he had made minutes earlier that he was already breaking.

“... O-okay.” Keith nervously sat back and started to undress, though he was very hesitant when it came to taking off his underwear or shirt.

Lance smiled softly at him and kissed him. “We will take things slowly. Go at your pace. If you feel better sitting around like this for a while I’m good. You looked beautiful.”

Keith blushed more and nodded. “S-so do you.”

He chuckled a little and stripped down to nothing. Keith was used to seeing him without clothes. Lance personally preferred to be naked since he didn’t have to hide his wings or his tail. He cuddled up to Keith and started to kiss any bare skin he could. He loved him. He wanted him. He wanted to feel Keith’s skin against his own.

He suddenly felt a warm hand on his chest. Lance looked down at Keith’s hand and then back up at him in confusion. Keith wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at his scar. His husband ran his fingers over the faded pink line. He wondered if it gave him some comfort? It was the thing that gave him reassurance and comfort that he really was Lance and not someone trying to trick him.

“Yes love?” Asked Lance quietly. “What do you need?”

“I…” He mumbled something softly. 

Lance didn’t quite hear him. “Keith? Can you say that a little louder? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“... I want to… I want to keep going… C-consummate our marriage…” 

Lance grinned and kissed him again, gently pushing him back onto the mattress. “Don’t worry Keith. We will. Just let me know if I’m going too fast for you or if you need me to slow down. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Keith felt weird. He was happy, but he felt kind of sick? He also wasn’t as tired as he normally was after having sex with Lance. Lance had mentioned offhand once that he drained his food of their physical energy as well so they wouldn’t run away when he went for their hearts. Maybe how tired he felt after was dependent on how hungry Lance was? Either way Keith wasn’t that tired as he laid in bed with his husband.

It was such a strange thing to think about. Lance was now his husband. Keith was his husband. They were married. He looked at the ring on his finger and smiled a little. Lance loved him. He loved him a lot. 

Keith wanted to do something for him. Something special. The sun was still up so maybe there was still some time to go to the jewelry store and get something pretty for Lance? Lance liked pretty things. Maybe he would appreciate it?

He very carefully got out of bed, cleaned himself up, got dressed, and took some money. He’d be quick. Just go down and come back. It would be okay. Lance would still be there. He loved him.

They were in a very quiet town around a lot of trees. It was nice. Keith kind of prefered this place to the coast. Though the coast was very nice, he prefered trees. It was easier for them to hide when there were trees around.

Keith got to the jewelers and bought Lance a simple, pretty silver bracelet. It was shiny and pretty. He hoped that Lance would appreciate it. His stomach growled a little. Maybe it was time to think about dinner? There was a little dining room at the bed and breakfast they were staying in. Maybe they could go down and eat there? He’d like that. It would be a nice way to spend their honeymoon.

Keith blushed as he walked down the street. This really was their honeymoon, wasn’t it? They were on their honeymoon. He was on his honeymoon with his husband and things were okay.

Suddenly a cloth was pressed against Keith’s mouth and he instantly became dizzy. Keith didn’t know what was happening but it happened so quickly he didn’t have time to panic. He just passed out in the arms of someone that grabbed him.

***

When Keith came to it was dark and he was in the middle of the woods. He was in some clearing, in the middle of the woods, tied to a pole, surrounded by wood. Kind of looked like a campfire… If fact, it probably was. He was tied to a stake. 

“... Shit.” Keith started to struggle and tried to get out of his binds. But he couldn’t. He could feel the ropes he was tied with biting into his skin. He was scared. He saw a flash of light and there was a wall of fire in front of him. In the dark he didn’t see the second semicircle of fire around him and he was terrified. If the wind changed then the fire would definitely hit his wood pile and burn him alive.

He fought harder to try and escape, but he couldn’t. He was scared. His eyes were starting to water when smoke started to sting his eyes. It made him want to vomit. Was he going to die? What was happening? Why was this happening? Was this a trap? But if it was a trap, it wouldn’t be for him would it? It would be for Lance… The demon that always came to him when he was in danger...

There was suddenly a strong gust of wind, causing most of the fire to die out and Lance was next to him. “What the hell happened?” Asked Lance as he started to pull on the ropes. 

“Y-you have to run!” Snapped Keith. 

This made Lance freeze for a moment. “What?”

“This is obviously a trap.” Said Keith. “A trap for you! You have to-!”

Lance winced in pain and doubled over. A large arrow was sticking out of his abdomen. The skin around the wound was quickly becoming necrotic and dissolving. Lance groaned in pain and pulled it out. “S-silver tipped… Yeah, this is a trap for-”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence before five more arrows shot out from the dark and struck Lance in the torso, abdomen, and one right in his eye. He fell back in a lifeless heap. His face staring lifelessly up at the stars.

After that, Keith’s heart wouldn’t stop racing. All he could hear was a horrible ringing in his ears as he tried not to panic, but it was impossible. He started screaming. He hardly noticed the people coming out of the trees and putting out the fire.

Someone cut him down from the pole and Keith quickly ran to Lance’s side. He was very much dead and unmoving. This just caused Keith’s anxiety to skyrocket as he desperately grabbed Lance’s hand, silently pleading for him to just get up. He didn’t know what he was saying. He was probably babbling nonsense, but he didn’t care. Lance said he would stay with him, but he didn’t. He was dead. He died trying to save him. Lance was dead and it was all his fault. 

People started to pull Keith away from Lance and Keith fought back. He kicked, punched, scratched and bit anything he could get his hands on. There was no way he was going to these strangers take him away from Lance. He and Lance were meant to be together, right? They just got married. They were meant to be together.

Someone managed to grab a hold of him and press another cloth against his face. “It’ll be okay Keith…” Whispered Shiro quietly. “It’ll be okay. Just relax. Everything will be fine.” That was the last thing Keith heard before he completely slipped into darkness.

***

It had been three days since the Incubus had been caught and Keith had been saved. However, Keith had become completely unresponsive. He’d still blink but apart from that he was practically a vegetable. Kolivan said that Keith was in a catatonic state, most likely caused by living with a demon for so long and then having that connection severed. Apparently being catatonic wasn’t unusual for someone like Keith.

Shiro had hoped that once Keith was freed from that monster that he would be normal. That they would be able to at least talk so he could help Keith get his life back together. However that didn’t look like that was going to happen any time soon.

They were safely back at the Marmora’s base because Kolivan wanted to talk to Keith to figure out more about the Incubus and how they could be more effective at exterminating their kind in the future. Something Keith wasn’t going to be able to do for a very long time.

Shiro had Keith propped up in a chair by the window. The view was nice. He hoped that Keith was happy now. He was safe and far away from that monster. They wouldn’t hurt and abuse him anymore. It was hard to tell what Keith was thinking, if he was thinking. His eyes were completely emotionless.

Shrio sat next to him and gently held his hand. “I’m sorry Keith.” He said quietly. “But you’re safe now. You’re going to be okay… W-when you’re better I can take you home… We can go home and I can help you get better. I have so much to tell you… I never gave up on you. I never did. I was always looking for you… You didn’t kill me when he told you to before because you wanted me to help you. I know it…” 

He looked up at the clock and sighed. It was about time to put Keith in bed. He picked up the younger man and carried him a few feet over to his bed. He tucked him in and brushed some hair out of his face. He hoped that Keith would be okay soon.

As he carefully tucked Keith in and looked down at his hands. He’d noticed it since Keith came in. He had a ring on his finger and Shiro wasn’t too sure what to make of it. Kolivan said it didn’t have any magical properties so there was no need to remove it. Shiro had an uneasy feeling about it, but he left it. If it was important to Keith he didn’t want to lose it.

“... It will be okay Keith. You’re safe now.” Shrio walked to the door and turned off the light. “Goodnight Keith… I love you.”


	34. Surprise pupper (Camboys AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is the last one in my mega fic dump for tonight. Hope you all enjoyed all of these chapter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was feeling inspired one late evening. He wanted to do a sexy video of himself, just shaking his ass in that nice pair of thigh high blue socks and that pretty lace blue thong that RedDesert loved so much. He chuckled a little at the thought. He really loved playing it up for RedDesert. He was a cute guy, from what he could tell, and he had a nice looking dick. But if someone called him out on wearing blue too much he could just say it was part of his ocean aesthetic.

Speaking of aesthetics, Lance had started to become a little more ambitious and decided to start showing his face in his videos, to a degree. Lance had bought himself some ocean themed cloth face masks, some aqua contacts, and a shoulder length dark blue wig. He also did some mascara and eyeshadow to make himself look as different as possible from his usual self. And after running his voice through a voice modulator, no one would be able to tell who he was.

He loved it. He took a few photos of himself in his new outfit on Saturday night and posted them to his account. He mostly got lots of positive feedback. People calling him cute and sexy. Some people slid into his DMs and hit on him. Usual stuff. But Lance was a little sad that RedDesert didn’t hit him up straight away. He gave it a cute caption and everything! _Feeling cute and horny. Might do some stretching today. Who doesn’t love a good stretch?_

After waiting around for an hour to see if RedDesert would message him and tell him how cute he looked, Lance decided to just do some simple videos. Nothing crazy. Just a few videos of himself teasing his puckered hole with an average sized dildo, and slowly worked up to a large one and teased himself until he came.

He checked over the videos and happily uploaded them. Half an hour later a familiar handle popped up in Lance’s DMs. He grinned and happily flopped onto his bed and opened it up.

**RedDesert**   
_You dye your hair blue?_

Lance was rendered speechless. What the hell was that? What kind of comment was that? He made himself all cute and sexy and RedDesert didn’t even tell him he was hot. He wore the thong that he really liked too.

**OceanQueen5**   
_It’s a wig._   
_..._   
_Nothing else?_

**RedDesert**   
_Are you wearing contacts?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_I don’t feel cute anymore_   
_:(_

**RedDesert**   
_Sorry Ocean._   
_I’m not horny tonight. I’ve been packing my stuff most of the day and worrying that I didn’t pack all my stuff._

**OceanQueen5**   
_???_   
_What happened?_   
_Are you getting evicted?!_   
_RED?!_

**RedDesert**   
_Visiting family for the week._   
_Staying with them too._

**OceanQueen5**   
_Good! You scared me!_   
_So… I’m not getting dick pics this week?_

**RedDesert**   
_Probably not._   
_But I did queue a few dozen pics and three videos for the week_

**OceanQueen5**   
_You are the best babe!_   
_Wait..._   
_There’s a paywall, isn’t there?_

**RedDesert**   
_Only on one of the videos._   
_Everything else is free_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Le sigh..._   
_Fine._   
_Still wanna talk this week?_   
_Like, if you have some down time._

**RedDesert**   
_I’d like that_

**OceanQueen5**   
_:D_   
_Yay!_   
_Friendship!_

**RedDesert**   
_Apparently so._   
_Gonna go to bed now._   
_Gotta get up early tomorrow_   
_Oh, Ocean?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Yeah?_

**RedDesert**   
_You looked really cute in your photos and video._

***

The next day Lance decided to tease RedDesert some more. He did put him in a good mood after telling him he was cute. He sent him a pic of a bright blue butt plug and told him he’d be wearing it all week. Probably wouldn’t actually do that, but at least for a few hours. It wasn’t super huge, but it was large enough to make him feel full. 

He didn’t expect RedDesert to message him back until later that night. He was probably on the road or already with family. They didn’t really talk much about family. Lance had told them that his mama did have breast cancer, and he offhandedly mentioned he had lots of siblings. RedDesert didn’t really talk too much about family, though he did mention a few times that he had an older brother.

Lance shrugged and went about his life. He went down to the kitchen and happily saw that Hunk was cooking breakfast. “Hey Lance. You want your eggs sunny side up or scrambled?”

“Surprise me. Did you get the mail yet?”

“Nope. Can you?”

“On it.” Lance happily walked down to get the mail. When he got outside he sighed happily and stretched in the early morning air. It was nice. He loved it. If he didn’t have a butt plug in his ass he wouldn’t run around the block that morning since it was such a nice day.

He grabbed the mail from the mailbox and looked through it to see if anything for him. Most of it was junk mail. He was about to head back inside when he noticed a large red pick up truck in Adam’s driveway.

Lance raised an eyebrow and walked over to the fence to get a better look at it. When he was a few feet away from the fence a huge husky popped their head over the fence. “BOOF!!!”

“Fuck!” Lance jumped back in shock, groaning a little when his butt plug shifted inside him and lightly poked his prostate. 

“Heel!” Called his neighbour. The one and only Takashi Shirogane. One of Adam’s boyfriend’s. Yes one. They guy was lucky enough to have two boyfriends. Lance couldn’t even get one. The world was not fair. Shiro walked over to Lance and the dog. “Sorry about that Lance. Heel.”

The dog huffed and sat next to Shiro. They did not look amused.

Lance shrugged. “It’s fine. Didn’t think you guys had a dog or a truck?”

“Oh that’s my brother’s so’s the dog.” Shiro patted the husky’s head. “You’re not bad around big dogs are you?”

“No, they just surprised me… So your brother is Keith, right? Adam mentioned him to me the other day.”

Shiro smiled. “Yeah. That’s him. I think he said he’s going to have a power nap before doing anything. So guess who has to take this guy out for a walk?” He put a leash on the dog and their tail started wagging so fast it looked like a blur. “See you around Lance.”

“Okay. See you around Shiro.” He waved off the hella sexy older man as he took off jogging down the road with an overly excited husky that was practically dancing next to him the whole time.

The dog was cute. Shiro was cute. He sighed heavily and looked through his mail again. He wondered if Keith was as cute as Shiro? If he was cute then maybe he would try hitting on him. There was always a chance that he could be gay or bi.

He went back inside and dropped the junk mail on the counter. For some reason Hunk liked to look through it, especially if there were magazines on electronics. Lance carefully sat at the table and ate his breakfast.

“What was that yelling about?” Asked Hunk.

“Oh, remember how I mentioned that Shiro’s brother was staying with them?”

“Yeah?”

“Well he has a huge husky that decided to say hi to me. Scared me a little.” Said Lance. “Friendly pupper though.”

“Aw, that’s nice. So you met Keith?”

Lance shook his head. “Nah, Shiro said he was taking a nap. Should see him later today though. Maybe? Hope he’s as cute as Shiro is though…”

Hunk sighed and shook his head. “Please keep it in your pants.” He pleaded. “Just… We don’t need three buff looking guys trying to break your back because you started something.”

“Hey, I’m not that dumb.” Whined Lance. “Anyway, are you working today?”

“Yep. Dinner sifts all month.”

“Fun. Good luck with that buddy. I’ll do my best to keep myself entertained.” He shifted slightly and felt his butt plug lightly poke at his prostate. Yeah, he knew how to keep himself entertained for a few nights.

***

Keith let out a cry when Kosmo decided to run into Keith’s small room and jump on him, instantly waking him, crushing all of his organs, and trying to force all his organs out of his body like a tube of toothpaste. Kosmo didn’t seem to care. He nuzzled into him and licked his face.

With a mighty groan, Keith managed to push the big dog off him. They were still wagging their tail like a mad dog. “... Why are you like this? How are you not tired? Didn’t Shiro take you for a run? Why are…?” He looked down at Kosmo’s leash and saw Shiro’s prosthetic arm clenching one end and dragging along the ground. Very much not attached to Shiro. “... What did you do?”

Moments later Curtis walked into the room and picked the arm off the leash. “Gonna give this back to Shiro.”

“Thanks…” Keith stayed sitting on the bed for a few minutes before he got up and went to get a coffee. Kosmo happily followed him out to the kitchen where Shiro was glaring at his prosthetic arm with malice. “What did Kosmo do to you anyway?”

Shiro sighed. “One of the straps was a little loose but the other was starting to fray. Kosmo got excited when we got back onto the street and he just took off… Taking my arm with him…”

“... Do you want me to pay for that?” 

“Nah, it’s all good.” Said Shiro. “Curtis is going to help me out with it.”

“Okay.” Keith made himself a coffee and sighed contently when he tasted that bitter bean water. He drank his drink and watched as Curtis helped Shiro out with his arm. Adam had work today while Curtis was working afternoons. Shiro had the day off.

After a few minutes Shiro had his arm back on his body and he was happy again. He and Curtis shared a kiss, which Keith was obliged to gag at. While the two of them shared their mushy couple stuff Keith sipped his coffee and looked through his phone. Ocean had sent him a photo.

He honestly probably shouldn’t have clicked on it while he was in his brother’s kitchen, but it was practically reflex at this point. He was greeted with a bright blue butt plug happily squeezed between Ocean’s plump cheeks. The tip was just poking the rim of his puckered hole. _Consider this the last pic of my ass you’re getting this week. Gonna be wearing this one all week until you start DMing me nudes again._ Keith drank a bit too much coffee and burnt his mouth. He cringed but the pain was enough to stop his dick from twitching in interest.

“Are you okay there?” Asked Curtis as he walked past him. He filled up a bowl of water and put it on the ground for Kosmo.

“Burnt my mouth a little…” He muttered. “Damn hot coffee.”

Curtis chuckled a little and went to grab himself some cereal. “Be careful with that. How’s life off in the middle of nowhere?”

Keith shrugged. “I like my privacy. You know us artistic types. We love our isolation.”

“True… But things are going well?” Asked Curtis. “Your work isn’t very… It isn't a stable income…”

“It’s cool. I have a few people that really like what I do and they commission a few pieces a month.” Said Keith. “I don’t spend my money the second I get it. I have a few thousand in savings for when things get really rough.”

“Okay… As long as you are sure.”

“I’m sure. Thanks… I’m going to drink this outside.”

Curtis shrugged. “Whatever. Don’t leave the mug outside.”

Keith nodded and walked out with Kosmo following right behind him. The dog was always super excited about going to new places, but was the biggest baby and stuck to the people he knew like glue. He watched his dog sniff around the yard.

Keith leaned against the side of his truck and closed his eyes. It would be nice spending a week here. Sure it was peaceful out in the middle of nowhere, but it was a different kind of peaceful here. He might not be able to do much in the way of his more nsfw content, but he didn’t mind. This week wasn’t about sex and chasing tail. It was about relaxing, recharging and-

“BOOF!!!” Kosmo thundered past Keith and jumped over the fence. There was a terrified shriek followed by a thud and excited barks and woofs. 

Keith quickly ran around to the neighbours yard and saw that Kosmo had pinned down a neighbour. “Shit!” He quickly yanked Kosmo off the man. “I am so, so sorry! My dog is an idiot! Harmless, but an idiot!”

Their neighbour slowly sat up, and Keith’s heart stopped in his chest. The neighbour should not have looked as cute as they did after getting tackled by a husky. His soft brown hair was in a mess, plush lips slightly parted and panting, blue eyes slightly hazed and when his eyes drifted lower… That ass. Okay, fuck it. If this guy was single, into guys, and not pissed off at him for getting tackled by his dog then Keith was going to at least get his number.

“A-are you okay?” Asked Keith. “Let me help you up-” He reached out to help him up, but they slapped his hand away.

“N-no.” They said quickly. “I’m fine. Just… Give me a moment… I um… I fucked up my back earlier this week so it’s gonna take a while for me to get up…” He lied back down and rolled onto his back. He still looked damn hot even though they had a grass stain on their shirt. “So… You must be Keith, huh?”

“Yeah… Sorry about your back.”

The man hummed a little and drummed his fingers on his chest. “It’s fine… So, I’m Lance. Your dog is a fucking nightmare.”

“... He just gets overly excited.” Said Keith in a wary tone. He wasn’t sure if Lance was just angry that Kosmo tackled him or if he hated dogs in general. “He isn’t normally like this. He’ll calm down in a day or two… Look, I’m sorry about your back. Do you need an ambulance or something?”

“NO!” Yelled Lance quickly. He got up and flinched. “I-I’m fine. Really…” He looked down at his shirt and swore. “Well fuck me then. Guess I’m going to be late and my boss is going to yell at me for having a dirty uniform. Thanks a lot Keith. Way to keep your fucking dog undercontrol.”

“Hey, it was an accident.” Said Keith. “Kosmo didn’t-”

“No. Just… Just shut up…” Grumbled Lance. They just looked miserable as they walked past Keith muttering something about today going to be a shitty day for him too. Keith just glared at Kosmo for cockblocking him. Kosmo peed in Lance’s bushes.

***

Keith still felt bad about Kosmo tackling Lance, and not just because he was instantly cockblocked and getting into that cute boy’s pants was now forbidden, but Kosmo had obviously hurt him. He felt shitty. Hanging out with Shiro and his boyfriends for the rest of the day was kind of nice, but that night when he was all alone he couldn’t help but text Ocean. 

**RedDesert**   
_How was your day?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Eventful._   
_I didn’t realise that putting a butt plug in my ass would instantly make me a target for the universe_

**RedDesert**   
_Oh?_   
_Something bad happen?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_I could only wear it for half a day before I had to take it out_

**RedDesert**   
_Can’t even keep a promise for a day?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_I know._   
_I am terrible_   
_How is your family?_

**RedDesert**   
_Everything’s good with them_   
_Saw a cute guy_   
_But I think I did something to really piss him off_   
_I’m not a people person..._

**OceanQueen5**   
_What?_   
_You?_   
_Honey you are a smooth talker and a catch_   
_Anyone would love to be with you_   
_Even if it’s just a hookup_   
_Is he straight?_

Keith felt his face heat up a little. Ocean thought way too highly of him. He knew that he was socially inept. He knew he looked handsome, but his personality was awful. If the two of them ever met face to face they would hate him. He was way too introverted. The only way he was able to talk to Ocean the way he did was because it was all via text.

**RedDesert**   
_idk_

**OceanQueen5**   
_I wish I was having boy troubles_   
_The only hot guys I wanna have fun with are already with other people_   
_It has been way too long since I’ve had sex with someone_   
_Dick or pussy is fine with me_   
_:(_

**RedDesert**   
_I live in the middle of nowhere_   
_Finding someone that’s dtf is like finding an ant tooth._   
_Practically unheard of_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Don’t sell yourself short._   
_You’re smart and funny with a smoking hot body_   
_Can’t say shit about your face..._   
_But from what I know about you, you are a real catch._   
_You’ll find someone in no time_   
_And whoever you find is gonna be so lucky to have you_

**RedDesert**   
_You’re such a romantic_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Damn right I am._   
_Now got to sleep._   
_It’s late and I need sleep_   
_Night Red._

**RedDesert**  
 _Night Ocean._  
.


	35. Hungover (Royal VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter dump today. But I hope you enjoy our dumb child in pain from their own stupidity. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Yurak had a massive hangover. Apparently Altean alcohol was extremely strong and it snuck up on you too. He felt like someone had beaten him in the head with a hammer. He very slowly opened an eye and hissed in dismay when he was met with sunlight. He buried his face into his pillow and hissed some more.

“... Are you deflating?” Whispered Lance.

“Shut up Lance.” Muttered Yurak. “... LANCE?!” Yurak quickly sat up and instantly fell back over onto the bed and hissed some more. His head hurt so badly. He rolled around and grabbed a pillow, putting it over his head just so it would be dark again. “... Why are you in my room?”

“... Dude, this is my room.”

Yurak froze and very slowly peeked out from under the pillow. Yeah, he didn’t recognise this room. It was a lot more lived in then his guest room and had shelves full of books and nicknacks. The hair all over his body stood on end. What did he do last night? He quickly looked down at himself and was slightly scared to see he was wearing a big shirt that wasn’t his and his underwear. He looked over at Lance. He was sitting on the bed with him and looked concerned.

“... What did you do to me?” Growled Yurak. “You took advantage of me, didn’t you?!”

Lance quickly waved his hands around, looking shocked at the idea. “What? Dude! No! You got trashed last night. Like, you mingled for like twenty doboshes and then you ran off somewhere with two bottles of neffem, and you already chugged a bottle of it by yourself. Pidge found you curled up in one of the towers next to one of the generators she set up for lights and stuff. She sent me a video.”

Lance quickly grabbed his datapad and showed Yurak a video of him. Yurak was laying with his face pressed up against the side of a generator. He was hugging two empty bottles of neffem and looked quite happy to stay there and purr. Yurak looked over at the window and wondered if they were high enough for him to die if he jumped out of it.

“Still doesn’t explain why I am in your room.” Muttered Yurak.

“I’m getting to that.” Said Lance. “Anyway, Pidge was pretty sure you getting blitzed at your cousin’s wedding is an extremely bad PR move for the Galra, so I dragged your ass to my room since it was closest and no one was going to go in there and find you all drunk and dumb.”

“... And why am I undressed?”

“I left you alone for thirty dobosh’s and I came back to you in your underwear and half under my bed.” Said Lance. “You have any idea how hard it is to drag a drunk Galra out from under a bed? I put one of my night shirts on you and stuck you in my bed. You passed right the fuck out. Now we are here.”

“... Oh.” That sounded logical. Now that he thought about it he didn’t feel sore, sticky, or wet in places that he probably would have if he and Lance had done anything. “Okay…” He quickly pulled the blankets over his body and curled up. “I’m going back to sleep… Don’t wake me up until tomorrow.”

“... Alright. I’ll go and get you something to eat and drink. Be back soon.” Lance got off the bed and Yurak heard him shuffling around the room as he changed clothes and left the room.

When he was gone, Yurak sighed a little and sniffed the blanket. It smelled like Lance and it was kind of comforting. He closed his eyes and quickly fell back asleep. Hopefully Zarkon wouldn’t be trying to look for him anytime soon. He didn’t need to get yelled at for getting drunk and vanishing.

***

Admittedly Lance did feel a little guilty. He hadn’t been completely honest with Yurak about what happened. He kind of looked like he was going to murder him at the very thought that they had done anything intimate. Lance didn’t want to get murdered in his own bed. Last night hadn’t been as cut and dry as he had made it out to be.

When he came back to check on Yurak he thought that the Duke had run off somewhere. But then he heard a sneeze. Lance walked around the side of the bed and looked down at a pair of purple legs sticking out from under his bed. He was thankful that the butt attached to those legs was still wearing underwear. He also noticed that Galra apparently had toe beans and paw pads. Looking around he also noticed the Duke’s clothes were tossed aside into piles on the floor.

“... Alright then…” Lance grabbed Yurak by his ankles and carefully pulled him out. “Out you come Duke. Isn’t this unbecoming of you royal types?”

Yurak whined and huffed a few times. He had some dust in his hair and his ear was twitching, trying to get a particularly large dust bunny off of it. “Too bright.” He huffed.

Lance chuckled and crouched down next to him, wiping some of the dust off his face. Yurak wrinkled his nose and looked mildly annoyed, but it was cute. Especially when he sneezed again and went cross eyed for a moment.

He chuckled and cupped Yurak’s face in his hands and gently scratched under his chin. He was delighted when he saw Yurak’s eyes close, his ears droop, and he started to purr. It was amazing. Lance continued to give him scritches and watched as Yurak pretty much became all floppy like a kippen. A small feline that was a very popular house pet. Also good at getting rid of rodents.

“Now,” said Lance. “Why are you wearing you just in your underwear?”

“Hmm, too hot…” He muttered. “Didn’t feel good. Too stuffy. Wanted to cool down.”

“And hiding under the bed?”

“Too bright.”

“Right…” He pulled Yurak to his feet and carefully put him on his bed. The Galra instantly flopped back and buried his face into one of Lance’s many pillows. He continued to purr up a storm. Lance smiled at him and got one of his nightshirts out of the closet and managed to get it on him.

Yurak huffed and puffed some more and then he started flipping the sleeves around. He seemed to find amusement in it until he hit himself in the face. “HISS?!”

Lance rolled his eyes and sat next to him. “Well aren’t you a funny drunk.” Said Lance as he patted Yurak’s head. The Galra smiled a little and leaned into his hand, purring softly. “Super affectionate. Is this how you really are? Like, when you’re not all stuck up and being all important and stuff?”

Yurak hummed softly as his eyes fluttered open. “It’s nice… Not a lot of people touch you like this when you’re a Duke… I like it.”

Lance softly smiled at him and continued to pat. “Is it lonely being a Duke?”

“Yeah.”

“... What is your home like? The place where you live. You mentioned you have people that cook in your house?”

Yurak shrugged and nuzzled his hand. “Yeah. I pay about a dozen people to cook and clean… Some gardening. I’m not home much so I don’t talk to them… And I have a reputation.”

“What kind of reputation?”

He shrugged. “I’m a solider. I fought in the war. I was only given the title of Duke because I earned it. On Diabazzel only the Emperor can give you a title. I earned the title of Duke by saving Lotor’s life during the war.”

“Oh wow. I didn’t know that.”

Yurak shrugged and yawned, quickly becoming sleepy. “Yeah… Lot of things you don’t know about Galra…” His eyes slipped shut and he fell to his side, passed out drunk.

Lance shook his head and contemplated leaving the young Duke by himself, but he decided against it. He might try to crawl under the bed again for some reason. Lance got out of bed and changed into his nightclothes; a pair of sweatpants and a pale blue shirt. He sat back in his bed and took out a book to read. The reception was starting to die out anyway. Soon all the sloshed out and drunken dignitaries would stumble off back to their rooms or other people’s rooms. Plus he got out of cleaning this way if he just said he was taking care of a drunken Duke.

As he read his book he felt the mattress dip and he looked over to see Yurak moving closer to him. In his half sleepy state he was moving closer to him for a source of warmth. Yeah, Yurak was just like a baby kippen. He scratched behind his ears some more and felt the Galran pressed his face against his thigh and purr. It was adorable.

After a few varga’s Lance put his book down and lied down. Yurak squirmed around a little and somehow ended up with the blankets covering his head and torso while his legs were uncovered. Lance just chuckled and rolled his eyes. Yurak was cute.

***

When Lance got to the kitchen Hunk was busy cooking his hangover breakfast cure for everyone. He grinned and waved over at him. “Morning Lance. Need some food?”

“Hell yeah. What’s on the menu?” Asked Lance, like he didn’t know.

Hunk grinned. “Thick cut buttered syrup toast and fruit, fried eggs, sunny side up, sauteed and grilled mushrooms and tomatoes, some sausages and strips of amphater bacon. Oh, and stacks of deep fried hash browns.” 

“Sounds awesome.” Lance’s mouth was watering already. “By the way, Yurak ended up passing out drunk in my room, so I’ll bring his stuff to my room.”

Hunk raised an eyebrow but didn’t make much of a comment on that. “Okay. So, maybe no grilled vegetables and triple the meat?”

“Sounds perfect.” Lance sat at the table and quickly ate his breakfast and watched as servants were quickly running around and taking the plates off to the different rooms. When he was done, Lance quickly grabbed the modified Galra plate and some cutlery. 

He happily walked back to his room and was greeted by a very dazed and sleepy looking Yurak… That also kind of looked like he got hit by a truck. Yurak's nose twitched and he looked over at the food that Lance was holding.

“... Is that for me?”

“Yep… Please don’t spill it all over my bed sheets.”

Yurak rolled his eyes but did his best to not spill everything over Lance’s stuff. He seemed very happy to have a belly full of food and not booze. He seemed very happy when he ripped into his bacon and sausages.

“This is really good.” He quickly wolfed down his food and carefully put the plate and cutlery aside. “Um… Thank you. I should head back to my room now.”

“Yeah, just put your pants on first.”

Yurak’s fur quickly puffed up as he quickly changed back into his clothes and left the room slightly flustered. Lance couldn’t help but grin. Yurak was really, really cute… Maybe before he left he could get his number or something so they could message each other?


	36. New School (X-men AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did write a small handful of x-men related stuff because I've always loved those mutants and what they stand for. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

In this world change happens so slowly it practically crawls along at a snail’s pace. Change isn’t welcome. It makes people uncomfortable. But for the continuation and existence of a species to continue it must adapt and change. Evolve. Mutate. Every so often by random chance or preordained fate, that evolution leaps forward.

“-Which is why we believe that Lance would make an excellent addition to the Altea School for Gifted Youngsters.” Said the man with the bright orange mustache. 

It was a Saturday and the McClain family had been visited by a strange man and an odd woman. The woman claimed to be the principal of a prestigious boarding school and the man claimed to be the vice principal. It was weird. Lance didn’t know why they wanted him of all people to go to their fancy school. Hell, he was well on his way to getting a sporting scholarship and Altea seemed to be all about academics from the pamphlet they gave the family.

Lance’s father huffed and crossed his arms. “Never heard of this school. In a few years our boy is going to get dozens of scholarships to every sporting school in the country. They are all going to be after his talents. Why should he go to your preppy school? Probably costs a stupid amount too.”

The woman, Allura, seemed to agree with what he was saying. “Yes. Private schools are very expensive, however due to the scholarships and government funding we get for providing education for special cases, Lance’s tuition would be in the negatives for the rest of his high school days, and if you wished to let him stay for our college courses then it would still be in the negatives. I think it would be important to point out that if Lance were to transfer to a different college for any reason he would be more likely to get accepted. Many companies are more likely to hire you with our school listed as your recent education.”

“Most graduates either end up working in law firms, in medical fields, and for the government.” Said the man, Coran. “If Lance wishes to pursue a career in sports both Allura and I have many, many contacts with different clubs. Can’t guarantee he’ll get a spot on the Olympic team, but he can at least try out for a few teams.”

“We will give you time to think about it.” Said Allura as she handed over their card.

Lance’s mother took the card and frowned a little. “... If we were to pay for tuition how much would we be talking about here?” Coran quickly started listing all the different expenses and what the school had to offer Lance while said boy just tuned it all out

Lance didn’t really know what to think. He didn’t want to leave his school. He was pretty popular where he was. He was the star of the school’s basketball team. He never missed a bastet. Ever. If he had decided he was making that shot he was making it. He always knew just how much force to put behind each shot and how to compensate for the wind. He was the team sharpshooter.

_“And that is why we would like you to join our school”_ Said a calm voice in his head. Lance’s eyebrows immediately shot up and he quickly glanced around the room until his eyes fell on Allura. She smiled at him and gave him a knowing look. _“Yes. You are hearing me in your head. I am a telepath. I am sure you have heard of us… I have been keeping an eye on you for a little while. You’re a mutant. Just like me and Coran.”_

Coran was still talking to Lance’s family about prices. “Which, to be fair, is much much lower than most hockey courts. Then there is the matter of catering-”

_“Don’t worry. Only you can hear me now.”_ Thought Allura in her calm and cheerful voice. _“Now, I know neither of us look like the typical mutants you are told to fear. The ones with physical differences that make it more obvious, but we are mutants and so are you. Think about it, is there anything that you have thrown that hasn’t ever hit its mark? Our school is for mutants like you. Like us. We are all happy and willing to accept you as you are.”_

***

Which was how Lance, at the age of seventeen, ended up standing at the gates of a huge mansion. It was pretty breathtaking. Coran met him at the gates and happily shook his hand. “Good to see you got here on time my boy. I’m sure you’ll love it here.”

Coran started giving him a tour of the place, talking about how regular high school classes were balanced out with their special training to learn how to best use and control their powers. They would try and find a mentor to help him with his powers like they had done for many other students.

They walked into the dining area and sat down at a large table. Coran took out several pieces of paper and handed them over to him. “Alright my lad, here is your class schedule along with a map of the school. If you need any help just as another student and if you need to change your schedule around you’ll want to talk to the student counselor, Adam Wright.”

Lance nodded as he looked over the map. “Okay…”

“Classes start on Tuesday since Monday’s a public holiday, so try and familiarise yourself with the grounds.” He looked at Lance’s papers again and grinned. “Ah yes, you’re rooming with Hunk. Good lad. He’ll be here in a bit to help you out. I’m sure you two will get along like a house on fire.”

As if on cue, a large looking teenager wearing a bright yellow headband walked in. He quickly spotted Coran and Lance, smiling at them. “Hey is this the new guy?”

Coran nodded. “Yep. Hunk, this is Lance. Lance, this is Hunk.”

Hunk smiled and shook Lance’s hand. “Nice to meet you buddy. I guess we’re roommates now?”

“Guess so. Nice to meet you too.”

Hunk looked down at Lance’s bags and picked one up. “Let’s head to our room. I’ll show you around once you’re all settled.”

Lance happily agreed and the two teenagers made their way through the mansion towards the dorms. They talked a bit about typical teenage stuff like movies, video games, and girls. Then they started talking about their powers. Lance talked about how he had perfect aim and never missed a shot ever. 

“That’s really cool.” Said Hunk. “I absorb and redistribute kinetic energy. Like, if I got hit with a chair I could hit someone else with the same force as it took to get it with a chair.”

“That’s cool... So if you got hit by a car could you punch a tree with the same force as a car hitting it?”

“Pretty much.”

“That’s cool.”

Hunk blushed a little. “Aw shucks man. I’m a pretty mediocre mutant compared to a lot of other mutants here… Oh! You have to meet Pidge! They are super awesome. Like, they are probably still in their room, but like, you know. Ah, you just have to see them.”

They quickly dumped Lance’s stuff into their room and walked a few doors down the hall and knocked on the door. A few seconds later a short individual opened the door and looked up at them, adjusting their glasses. 

“Hey Hunk. What’s up? Who’s the bean pole?”

Lance gasped at the indignation while Hunk just laughed. “Pidge, this is Lance. My new roommate.”

Pidge looked up at Lance and nodded. “Ah yeah, I was talking with the student files and they said you were coming. Said you never miss a shot but it’s undetermined if you can manipulate probability, can warp physics around objects, or if you’re just super lucky.”

“... You talked to the student files?”

Pidge shrugged. “I’ve got technokinesis. I can mentally interface with any and all electronics. But I mostly make cool gadgets and stuff. If you ever need an upgrade or want free mobile data forever or want to stream shit without a VPN but still have everything act like a VPN, just hit me up.”

“... Free Netflix and Hulu?”

“Child’s play. I can hook you up later tonight. I’ll get you some of the more obscure stuff too.”

“Sweet. So you just ask it to do stuff and they do it?”

“I need to do a bit of sweet talking, but I can usually-” There was a loud crash followed by angry yelling that made everyone flinch. “-and Keith is back.”

Lance frowned a little. “Keith? What’s his-?”

“It’s physical.” Said Pidge. “So unless you want him to gouge out your eyes you don’t want to stare at him.”

Before Lance could ask anything else, a young man with purple fur, cat ears, a long tail, and bright yellow eyes started stalking down the hallway. He looked very pissed off and snarled at them, showing off his exceptionally large fangs. Lance froze for a moment. Those looked like tiger teeth.

Lance made the mistake of gasping a little in shock. It caught Keith’s attention and the strange animal mutant glared at him and leaned in close to him, growling at him. Almost daring him to say something. To start a fight. He looked like he was itching for a fight. He grabbed Lance by his shirt and shoved him against the wall. He leaned in close and sniffed him. Was he actually sniffing him? Like an animal?

“Whoa! Calm down Keith!” Said Hunk quickly. “This is Lance. He’s new. He’s a friend. Friend. New friend. No one is trying to start a fight here. He’s a friend… Friend…”

Keith continued to glare at Lance with his big yellow eyes. Suddenly he tightened his grip on Lance’s shirt and headbutted him pretty hard. While Lance was still dazed Keith licked his forehead. He then let him go and walked back to his room, quickly slamming the door behind him.

Lance was frozen in shock. “... What the fuck just happened?”

Pidge chuckled. “That’s Keith speak for you’re okay.”

“... Headbutts and forehead licks?”

Pidge shrugged. “To be fair Keith acts more on instincts than logic. According to his student file he’s been bounced around a lot of homes since he’s looked like that his whole life. Being a mutant fucking sucks, but being a mutant that can’t even hide that they are different sucks worse. But Keith is pretty chill most of the time. Just be a little cautious around him until you learn his mannerisms.”

Lance frowned a little and nodded. “Right… I think I need an ice pack… He headbutts hard...”

Pidge snorted back a laugh and retreated back into their room. “See you dorks at dinner.”

Hunk shook his head and quickly checked over Lance. “Sorry about Keith… A lot of the kids here haven’t really had a good life and get defensive pretty easily, but Allura and Coran are doing what they can for us…” He smiled. “But that is probably the worst that’ll happen to you here.”

“Right… So ice pack?”

“Right. Let’s go and do that.”


	37. Conduit (Incubus AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! So here we are back on my bullshit pain train for the weather felt like it called for some pain and suffering. However there is some good news! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Also, I listened to this song a lot while writing this chapter so enjoy listening to it if you feel like it :3  
> Exorcism;  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74gPpwC21-U

Shiro was really worried about Keith. It had been a week and Keith was still catatonic. Just blinked and made no effort to communicate. On the fourth day Kolivan got someone in their group trained in the medical field to put in a feeding tube for him so he wouldn’t starve to death.

Every day Shiro would stay with him and talk to him. He hoped that he would say something and it would spark some kind of memory for him and snap him out of it. But there was nothing. Kolivan was able to figure out where they were staying and brought Shiro a bag of what looked like Keith’s stuff.

He gave Keith the small hippo toy, but he didn’t even acknowledge that it was in his lap. It was heartbreaking. Lance had completely broken him. The younger brother that Shiro had tried so hard to save was still just beyond his grasp. It was depressing.

On the eighth day Shiro managed to find Keith a wheelchair and used it to move Keith around to see if he just needed a change of scenery to snap him out of it. Nothing really happened. Keith just blinked a little more when he was outside. He loved Keith with all his heart. He was his brother and he’d spent most of his life trying to get him back. He’d sacrificed so much. He knew that Keith would be damaged, but he hoped that Keith would have been able to talk to him.

Eventually Shiro decided to walk back to Keith’s room. On the way back he happened to bump into Kolivan. “Is he doing any better?” He asked.

“What do you think?” Asked Shiro through gritted teeth. “Look at what that fucking monster did to him. Look at him. I don’t even know if he can hear me talking. I just want him back…”

“Yes, well, I have been thinking about that…” Said Kolivan. “I want to use some more… Supernatural methods to see if the Incubus did something to him.”

“What?”

“Every other one of his handlers were either murdered or commited suicide after he left them. Maybe he performed some ritual on him and since we severed the bond with them the ritual went strange?” Suggested Kolivan.

“I see…” Muttered Shiro. He looked down at Keith and sighed. He wanted Shiro back and if he did something to his brother he wanted it undone. He still wasn’t sure if the demon actually swapped hearts with Keith or not. It could have just been to scare him and keep Keith close to him. “... If you think it will work… I just want Keith back.”

Kolivan nodded and the two of them went back to Keith’s room. Shiro put him on the bed and stood back while Kolivan did his thing. He still didn’t really know what was going on, but he let Kolivan do what he needed to. Most of it was drawing symbols on the headboard above Keith’s head. He got another member of their organization, a giant of a man named Antok, to come in and help as well.

Shiro had no idea what they were doing but they were doing a lot of chanting. The symbols above Keith’s head started glowing a dark red. After a few minutes Keith’s body violently shook and he sat up, hunched over and heaving.

“Keith!” Shiro tried to get to him but Antok held him back.

“Not yet.” He whispered.

“Who are you?” Kolivan asked Keith in a stern manner. “Speak demon. What is your name?”

Keith, still hunched over, started to laugh in a voice that was not his own. He slowly looked up with a grin on his face. His eyes were a light brown colour. “Well, well, well…” He said in a voice that wasn’t his. “This is another fine mess Lance has gotten himself into. What is he using this time? Another tree? A rock? A…” They looked down at themselves and seemed surprised to see that they were in a human body. “... Okay what the fuck Lance?”

“What is your name?” Asked Kolivan in a much more stern voice.

Not Keith rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up you asshole. The name is Stolas. Also known as Pidge. Now, why the fuck am I talking through this fleshy weirdo?”

“Are you possessing Keith?” Asked Kolivan.

Pidge shook their head. “No? You idiots are the ones that called me. Like… how do I word this…? This vessel is like the carrier pigeon that delivers the message, that message being my lovely voice, between us. I’m seriously using an old skull hanging on my wall to talk to you right now.”

Kolivan seemed a little annoyed and just glared at him. “The Incubus, this… Lance… He has forced this man, Keith, to be his human handler. He’s become unresponsive. How do we break this ritual and free him?”

Pidge had the most confused expression on their face. “What? Lance doesn’t… Wow, you guys don’t know shit about sex demons do you? They don’t need to do that shit to get humans to follow them. They are charming, charismatic. The people you want to be with… But seriously, you don’t know shit about Lance. Even if Lance can use mind manipulation magic he doesn’t like it. He wants people to come to him of their own free will… But it’s been a few hundred years since I’ve talked to him so I have no clue what Lance’s plans are. You’re better off talking to Belphegor or Mammon. I’ve been living in my cave with no contact from that lustful jerk for over three centuries. So yeah, peace out!”

Before Kolivan could ask them any more questions, Pidge violently threw themselves backwards and became very still. After a few moments Keith opened his eyes and he was back to being his quiet, catatonic self.

“... What the fuck was that?!” Snapped Shiro. “What the fuck did you do to him?”

Antok frowned. “I don’t know… It was meant to see if he was possessed by a demon or something… Why is he a conduit?”

Kolivan thought for a moment. “Maybe we should try and talk to Belphegor or Mammon?”

“No!” Said Shiro. “What if something worse happens to him?”

“Demonic possession is not the same as it is in the movies.” Said Kolivan. He looked up at Antok and nodded. He nodded back and the two of them started to chant again. They didn’t have to chant for very long before Keith violently contorted and sat up again. His eyes were a dark brown. “What is your name?” Demanded Kolivan.

“Belphegor.” They said calmly. “But um, I guess you guys can call me Hunk? Pidge said that you might be calling me.” Hunk looked down at the body they were in and sighed. “I told Lance that he shouldn’t use a human as a conduit, but no… Of course he goes and does something like this… Did Lance do something stupid and you want to stop it from happening? Is this guy getting used by other demons?”

“What has that Incubus done to this human?” Barked Kolivan.

This made Hunk flinch a little and he nervously started pressing his fingers together. “Hey man… Don’t get so mad at me… I’m just here. You called me… B-but it looks like Lance might have just made this human a conduit… I um… I just… I know you can make humans into a conduit but it’s way too much effort. You’d just need a splash of blood and some spells for an inanimate object. For a living being you’d need it to ingest a lot of your own blood… I-I don’t know. I don’t make a lot of conduits…”

Shiro was quickly getting frustrated. “Why did this have to happen to Keith?” He muttered.

Hunk looked over at Shiro and frowned. “... This is a relative of yours?”

“My brother.”

“Oh… Sorry about that…” They nervously scratched the back of their head. “Well, I guess the best thing you should do is maybe talk to Mammon… She talked to them last before they crossed over here and… Well, I honestly wouldn’t want to talk to her unless you really have to. They can be… I mean, Mammon is Lance’s ex after all… Though I-” The temperature in the room started to plummet. “Oh no… She’s-” Hunk grabbed at his throat and started to violently cough. It sounded like he was going to vomit.

“You have to stop this!” Said Shiro quickly. “Whatever you’re doing you have to stop! You’re going to kill him!”

“Kill him?” Asked a British female voice. Keith smirked up at him with his now bright blue eyes and flipped his hair back. “Now why would I go and kill a conduit? I told Lance to be careful with that heart of his. Kind of disappointed he didn’t give it to me. Selfish thing he is.”

“Mammon, I take it?” Asked Kolivan.

They smiled and nodded. “Yes. Though I prefer to be called Allura. Pidge told me that you might be asking for me?”

“What do you know about Lance?” Asked Shiro.

Allura chuckled and sighed happily. “Ah, Lance… What can I say about that Incubus? One of the best lays I’ve ever had… He’s just so…” They ran their fingertip’s up along their inner thigh, making breathy gasps. “Thick.” She purred as she made eye contact with Shiro. “Oh? How quaint. You think this boy belongs to you? You want him? You want this boy? I can tell you’re going crazy with your desire for him. Why don’t you come here and fuck him? Fuck this body.” They laid back and spread their legs. “Come on big boy. Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!”

Before Shiro could yell at the demon to shut up, Antok and Kolivan grabbed hold of them and tied them down. Allura seemed surprised by this and then they seemed mildly annoyed.

“Clearly you know nothing about demon foreplay. Then again, your kind does nothing but murder my kind, so I am not surprised.” Allura sighed and drummed her fingers against the bed. “So Lance huh? Where are you keeping him?”

“Why do you assume he’s still alive?” Asked Kolivan.

Allura looked at him like he was an idiot. “Because if Lance really was dead neither of us would be talking. You want to know why Lance is here because once you find out you can kill him.” She smirked and happily spoke in a sing-song voice. “I know why he came here and you don’t.”

“Why is he here?” Asked Kolivan. “Tell us! By the runes and spells that have called you into this body you are compelled to tell us why Lance is here!”

Allura looked up at him and smirked. “Some demons believe in soulmates. Lance is a strange Incubus and strongly believes in the concept of soulmates. He doesn’t care if his soulmate is bound to him through hate or fear. He just wants to find them. He just knows that they are somewhere in the human realm… And let me let you children in on a secret. Once an Incubus sinks their claws into the thing they desire, they will never, never, ever let them go.”

“Enough!” Yelled Kolivan. He took a bottle with a clear liquid in it and splashed it onto them. “Begon!” Allura yelled out and writhed for a few seconds before Keith went limp again and his eyes were back to normal and completely glassy again. His chest was heaving and his muscles were twitching slightly. Eventually his body was still again and Keith was slowly blinking as he stared up at the ceiling.

“... What did you do to him?” Asked Shiro. “What the fuck is going on?”

“It’s unclear.” Said Kolivan. “I haven’t heard of demons using humans as conduits before… Vessels for possession, yes, but not this…” He nodded over at Kolivan and the other left the room. Kolivan walked over to Shiro and put his hand on his shoulder. “Take care of him and watch him closely… Don’t undo his binds. Keep him tied up until we know exactly what is going on.”

“Do you think Allura was telling the truth?”

Kolivan shrugged. “They are a demon. There might be some truth in their words, but they should not be trusted on principle… Just keep him company. Okay?”

“O-Okay…” Shiro sat next to Keith and gently reached out to touch his arm. His muscles were still twitching under his skin. Shiro had no idea what happened but it looked extremely painful. He felt horrible. He shouldn’t have let Kolivan do that. “... I’m sorry Keith. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry… I’m sorry Keith… I’m so sorry… L-let’s talk about this, okay? Just… Just talk to me… Please… I’m sorry…”

***

Deep in the darker, underground parts of the Marmora’s base was where they kept their darker secrets. Their “shames.” The demons that they couldn’t really kill or exorcise from this plane of existence. Some were just stronger than others. Like that Incubus.

His body had an extreme healing factor. It was faster than anything they had experienced before. But it was fine. They were okay with a challenge. For the past week they had been pulling the Incubus apart and putting it back together. They didn’t have to struggle to put it back together either. Just pressing the correct limbs to the right part was good enough. It didn’t matter if they cut off the head either.

On the second day of capturing the demon they had to behead it so they could stitch its mouth and eyelids shut. When it tried to rip the stitched out they cut off his hands. It became pissy after that and stayed quiet in its cage.

On the fourth day it managed to pick through the stitches by using the sharpened points of bones on his arm stubs. It was babbling and desperately pleading to know if Keith was okay. That’s all it was talking about. Keith this and Keith that. It was obsessed with finding out more about the human they had captured and tortured for years on end.

On the sixth day, despite not being able to see, the demon attempted to escape. It violently threw themselves around their cage. Screeching and carrying on. It disturbed the other members and they just avoided that area of the basement. The only reason it calmed down and stopped was because it got its wing caught in the bars of the cage and he mangled it. It laid down on the ground and quietly whimpered and sobbed for Keith.

Now on the seventh day, Kolivan needed to see him. He needed to know what on earth was happening to Keith. The spell he had cast was just meant to see if there were any demonic curses placed on him to keep him in a catatonic state.

The Incubus was quiet in his cage today. He didn’t even notice Kolivan walking over to him, much less when the man stood in front of him. “Demon.” He growled. “Incubus. I need to have a word with you.” The demon didn’t move. “It’s about Keith.”

The second he said his name the Incubus looked in his direction. “Keith? Is he okay? Is he sick? I swear if you’ve hurt him!”

“He’s in a catatonic state.” Informed Kolivan. “Your friends have been talking through him. Pidge, Hunk, and Allura.”

“... Huh? Why would they... ? How could they…? Unless...” Their demeanor quickly changed and they became violent again. “Let me out!” He yelled. “I have to see him! I have to help him! They shouldn’t be speaking through him! You have to let me see him! I’ll do anything! Anything! I’ll suck your dick!”

Kolivan was pretty disgusted by the desperation in the demon’s voice. He gestured for Antok and a few other members to come over. Kolivan gestured towards the cage. Seconds later Lance was getting pulled out of the cage. Before he could steady himself he was pinned down to the ground with silver tipped spears.

The Incubus cried out in pain and shock as they tried to crawl away. It just tore up their body further as they bled out onto the floor. They were still begging to see Keith. It disgusted Kolivan. It was clear they weren’t going to get any more information from them. 

“Store him away with the rest of their kind.” He ordered.

Antok nodded and got out an axe. Kolivan watched as the man brought down the axe on the demon’s body. They screamed in agony, but stopped when his head was cleaved from his shoulders. After that their body was grabbed and they stuffed his body into the barrel where they had tossed his hands. The barrel was sealed and rolled into the room with dozens of other similar barrels.

Once the demon was locked away Antok pulled Kolivan away to have a private talk. “Kolivan… Keith is still catatonic. It’s been a week and he’s not waking up. Now demons are speaking through him? Like a fucking phone? What are we going to do?”

Kolivan shrugged. “There isn’t much we can do. The demons weren’t willing to talk and I don’t want to listen to their lies and manipulations any longer… This is probably going to be a lost cause…” He sighed sadly. “Get someone to start forging paperwork to move Keith to a home. We can’t keep him here…”

“... Shiro is going to be crushed.”

“I know. But there isn’t much we can do.” Said Kolivan. “We did what we promised. We brought his brother back… And we managed to catch the Incubus. It’s not what everyone wanted, but it is a happy ending in a way...”

“I guess. If your idea of happy endings is demons, mental scarring and physical and emotional abuse.”

Kolivan shrugged and walked out of the room. That was nothing much else he could say. They caught the demon. They helped Shiro get his brother back. Never said that Keith would come back unscathed.


	38. Car ride (Camboys AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, I felt like posting another chapter tonight. If there's any particular AU you guys want to see please let me know. I'm kind of just prioritizing the aus that I like but I want to know what you guys like. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

How long had it been since Lance had hooked up with someone? Hell, how long had it been since he’d gone on a date with someone? It was probably best not to think about it. It was just depressing at this point. Maybe he could hit RedDesert up and ask him what city he was closest to? Maybe he should start with states? Maybe float around the idea of maybe meeting up if they ever ended up in the same city? He sighed quietly to himself. Maybe he should just get on Grinder again? He wasn’t a huge fan of hookup apps, but when you were horny why not?

He yawned a little and rubbed his eyes when he heard the door to his store open up. He was on the register today. Which was one of the better jobs at the shitty fast food place. Most people were pretty nice and they only got stupid people every once in a while. But things were fine for now.

He was surprised to see Keith walk into his shop. “Hey Keith.”

Keith seemed surprised to see him behind the counter. “Oh, you work here?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. Welcome to Red John’s hamburger shack. What do you want?”

Keith took out his phone and sighed. “It’s a big order. Adam made me come here…”

“Let me guess…” Mused Lance. “One veggie burger meal, extra mayo on the side, chicken burger meal with avocado, double beef burger meal meal with extra cheese, two large chicken caesar salad’s and a pasta salad?”

“... They eat here a lot, huh?”

“Usually once a week.” Lance quickly punched the order in. “You ordering anything for yourself?”

“Um… What would you recommend?”

“Pulled pork burger. If you want it as a meal it’s an extra six bucks.”

“Sure. Kosmo will probably steal a bite from my burger anyway.”

Lance nodded and quickly punched it in and sent it off to get made. Keith paid and Lance gestured to the drinks fridge. “Go ahead and grab four cans of whatever. I’ll stick them in a bag for you if you bring them over.”

“Thanks.” Keith quickly did that and sat down on one of the chairs and cracked open one of the cans he picked out. It was bright purple. Probably the passionfruit one. It was quiet for a few minutes before Keith cleared his throat. “So… Slow day?” 

“Yeah. Lunch rush died down and I’m clocking out after I serve you.” Then he was probably going to go home, have a drink, a bath with all the fancy bath bombs, and maybe take a few videos and pictures playing with himself. Once again nothing super big, but big enough for a bit of a stretch.

“Oh okay… Do you want a lift home?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean, my dog kind of did knock you over and everything… and you said your back hurts… I’d feel bad if you had to walk home and everything.”

Lance was surprised to hear that. “Oh, okay. Thanks… So um… Where do you usually live?”

Keith shrugged. “I live a few hours out of the city. Out in the desert. I’m an artist. Mostly painting. Sometimes sculptures.”

“You’re not pretentious are you?”

“Hopefully not.”

“Isn’t it boring out there?”

Keith shrugged. “I find ways to amuse myself.”

“Like?”

“... I like going for walks and painting takes a lot of time so I’m occupied most of the time.” Said Keith. He drummed his fingers against his leg for a bit and frowned a little. “Yeah, there isn’t too much to do out there. Pretty peaceful though. I like it.”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it would be peaceful out there… I’d probably lose my mind though if I lived out there. I need constant attention.” He looked back and started packing Keith’s order into two bags. When he was done he handed it over, clocked out and followed the man to his pick up. They put the food in the back seat and Keith started to drive away

Lance couldn’t really get comfortable. His back and butt hurt still. It was annoying, but it was a dull ache now, but he didn’t mind. If he was honest it was kind of nice. Yeah, Lance knew he had some masochistic tendencies, but that was just him. He didn’t mind. He couldn’t help that he was kinky.

Speaking of kinky… He looked over at Keith and gave him a proper look over. The other day he didn’t get a chance to since he needed to walk to work and he had a butt plug up his ass, and was trying so very hard not to cum when Keith’s dog jumped on him. The fucker practically made his butt plug impale his more prostate. But that was beside the point. Point was, now he could get a good look at Keith.

The man was hot. Could be a top or a bottom. Maybe a switch? He had something that looked like a mullet cut, so maybe he liked getting his hair pulled? Probably into something rough. Maybe he’s a sadist? That would totally work with his masochistic tendencies. But he could be straight… But what straight man has that haircut and fingerless gloves? Not any straight man he knew. Maybe Keith was into bondage? Fuck, he wanted someone to tie him up and fuck him stupid. Just use his ass as a cum dump.

Lance really needed to get laid.

“So mullet...”

“Mullet?”

“You single?”

Keith blushed a little as he gripped the steering wheel. “I um… Why?”

“Making small talk.” Said Lance. “Just wondering if an artist like yourself is able to hold down a significant other?”

“Oh… Well, kind of?”

“Kind of?”

“Yeah…” Keith sighed and frowned. “It’s complicated. We DM nudes to each other every now and then so I guess it’s like friends with benefits but only if those benefits are photos… It isn’t anything serious.”

“... Can I see the nudes?”

“What? No. Fuck off.”

Lance chuckled and leaned back in his chair and grinned at him. “Relax man. You just passed the douchebag test.”

“... The what now?”

“Douchebag test.” Reiterated Lance. “Some guy mentions their significant other sent them nudes. If you ask to see them and the guy shows them or sends them to you, they are a douchebag. If they don’t then they are an alright person. You get it?”

“... Right.” Keith seemed a little skeptical and confused, but he kept driving. “So, what about you? Are you single?”

Lance shrugged. “Perpetually. It has been a few years since I’ve had a girlfriend or a boyfriend… But like, about a year since I’ve hooked up with anyone you?”

Keith sighed dramatically. “Fuck, I haven’t dated anyone since high school… Shit, I haven’t gone and fooled around with any guys in a long, long time either. Not many people wanna come all the way out in the middle of nowhere to hookup.”

“Rough. You said guys right? So you’re gay?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, and you said girlfriend or boyfriend, right? So you’re bi?”

“Yep. That a problem?”

“What? No. Bi is fine… Um, Curtis is bi.”

Lance chuckled a little. “Yeah. I know. We talk about girls sometimes.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah, have you met Hunk or Pidge yet?”

“Yeah, I met Hunk. Haven’t met Pidge yet.”

Lance nodded a little. “Yeah, they stay over every once in a while. Like we should seriously be charging them for rent.”

Keith chuckled a little as he pulled up in the driveway. “Well thanks.”

“For what? You’re the one that offered me a lift.”

Keith shrugged. “I just liked talking to you… And I still feel guilty about Kosmo jumping on you.”

Lance shrugged. “Think nothing of it. I’m told I have a problem with shutting up… Question about that guy you’re trading nudes with.”

“Look, I’m not a kid. I know what I’m doing. I’m staying safe. Not telling him where I live or anything. He doesn’t even know what my face looks like.”

“What? No. Nothing like that.” Said Lance. “You’re an adult. You do you boo. Reap what you sow and all that. Just gonna ask if you’re serious about them or if it’s just trading nudes?”

“... Well, we do talk every now and then about non sexual stuff, but we probably are just virtual fuck buddies or something like that?”

“What a time to be alive.” Lance got out of the truck. “Well, see you later man. Enjoy your burgers.”

“Later Lance.”

Lance happily walked next door and froze when he saw the stack of boxes on the floor next to the door. He started to get giddy with excitement as he quickly checked over the names on them. Three boxes. All his. Okay, his ass didn’t hurt that much. Tonight he was gonna stream a special unboxing. If he got tipped well maybe he would use some of the stuff he’d been sent.

***

Keith was thankful that Curtis was playing with Kosmo outside when he got back in with all the food. He dumped it on the counter and started to quickly distribute it. “Okay, chicken burger for Shiro, beef for Adam, and veggie for Curtis.”

“Thanks Keith.” Said Adam as he quickly grabbed his food and a bowl for some chicken salad. “I love cheat days.”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “Yep. Now we have to eat fast before Kosmo comes in and decides to eat our food… What did you get for yourself?”

Keith shrugged. “Pulled pork burger. Lance recommended it.”

“Those are good.” Said Adam.

“Yeah.” Keith quickly wolfed down his food and grabbed his can. “I’m going to my room to do some drawing. Send Kosmo in so you guys can eat in peace.”

“Will do.” 

Keith quickly headed back to his room and set himself up to do some digital drawings. He felt good and wanted to do some sketches. As he settled down he got a new notification on his phone, from OceanQueen5. It wasn’t a private DM but a general one to everyone following him.

_Some cuties out there bought me some stuff off my wish list! So tonight I’ll do an unboxing. Bring your wallets. I’ll show them off for free but if you want me to demonstrate them I’m gonna need some persuasion ;3_

Keith groaned when he read that. Ocean was such a fucking tease. Such a fucking brat. He damn well knew he said he wasn’t going to be sending him nudes this week, but now he was totally trying to tease them out of him. Okay, he might be a little full of himself thinking that Ocean was doing this specifically for him, but a horny man can dream, right?

**RedDesert**   
_Really Ocean? Really?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_I have no idea what you are talking about._

**RedDesert**   
_Don’t play dumb._   
_You’re totally doing an unboxing so I’ll send you nudes._

**OceanQueen5**   
_Depends_

**RedDesert**   
_On what?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Is it working?_

**RedDesert**   
_Oh no, you’re not getting me to admit anything_   
_Not going to stroke your ego_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Oh boo_   
_You’re no fun._   
_..._   
_So..._   
_You’re gonna be there right?_

**RedDesert**   
_Maybe._   
_Might have bought you something._

**OceanQueen5**   
_OMG!!!_   
_RED!!!_   
_YOU SPOIL ME TOO MUCH!!!_   
_OMG!!!_   
_You have to be there!_   
_And text me when I take it out so I can put on a big show!_   
_Might need you to help me give some instructions on how to use it ;3_   
_Unless you sent me more fancy lube_   
_I already know how to use that_

**RedDesert**   
_Not lube this time_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Oh, now you have to watch!_

**RedDesert**   
_If I have time I will_

**OceanQueen5**   
_I’ll be waiting for you Red <3 <3 <3 _

Keith blushed a little and sighed as he read over their DMs again. Ocean always started his streams late. If he calculated it correctly, then the stream would start a few hours after dinner. He could watch it if he said he was tired and snuck off to his room. He really wanted to see Ocean use the toy he bought him off his wish list. Though he didn’t think that Ocean would get it when he was at Shiro’s.


	39. Homicide (Android AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back on my bullshit and we finally see Shiro and Keith working a case. Kudos and comment when you can. Don't forget to ask if there is any particular au that you guys want to see. I'm just randomly picking different au's to post each day (I have several finished chapters ready to go). Heck, it can be something new too if there is something you're interested in my writing. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Also, there is talk about sexual exploitation (of androids, but still) in the chapter so guess a trigger warning here?

Keith was brought out of standby by Shiro. It was late in the evening. Almost eleven. He was a little confused, but patiently waited for his data on the current case to download into his mind while he followed Shiro to the police car.

“What’s the case?” He asked Shiro.

“Homicide.” Said Shiro. “Suspect is a possible deviant.”

“Ah, I see.” If it was a deviant they would have to apprehend with lethal force. Most likely resulting in deactivation of the android. Keith quickly went through files for the most efficient methods to take down and destroy a deviant android. “Is this a personal android or a working android?”

Shiro made an uncomfortable noise. “Well… It’s in the blue light district…”

“Oh. A sex android.” Stated Keith. While the red light district was synonymous with the pleasures of the flesh the blue light district was solely for androids made to have sex with humans. There were dozens of android brothels and strip clubs. It was strange. Most of the humans that were working in the sex industry were no longer desirable apart for a few very niche clientele. Sex androids were way more legal and could take much harsher treatment before they broke, and if they did get hurt the worst that would happen would be a repair fee. 

They pulled up behind a few other police cars at this active crime scene and walked inside. The crime scene was a place called The Pleasure Pit. Quickly going through the public registry and police files. Keith concluded that this place was registered as a licence 2 android brothel. Licence 2 holders meant that this club was a BDSM club. They had no prior incidents and the owner was squeaky clean.

Keith had no strong opinion on the matter one way or another. He followed Shiro in and down a small set of stairs and into the main lobby. Purple seemed to be the theme of the day with purple light bathing the purple wallpaper, the purple velvet carpet. Even the platform that the androids were using for pole dancing. Displaying the products Keith assumed.

Speaking of the androids they were all standing in glass tubes hooked up to a tap and go payment system. All the androids there were wearing grey underwear with the club’s logo stamped on the underwear and panties, right on the crotch for all of them, and on the left breast on the bra for all the women. They would smile and wink at them as they passed by, trying to entice Keith and Shiro over to spend some credits on them.

They got to a room where a cop was talking to a man that looked like the owner. Shiro just nodded at the officer and walked into the room where James was standing around looking at the crime scene. On the bed was the victim, a naked man on the bed. He had dark bruising on his neck. There was a large splatter of thirium 310, more commonly known as “Blue Blood”, the fluid in an android’s system that acted similarly to red human blood, across the wall. On the ground was a broken android.

Keith crouched down and scanned her body. She looked like a Narti unit. She wasn’t going to be able to be fixed at this point she was broken beyond repair. Her throat looked crushed.

“I reckon it's some errotic asphyxiation gone wrong.” Said James. “You two are welcome to keep looking, but it looks pretty open and shut to me.”

“We got it from here Griffin.” Said Shiro. The other man just shrugged and left so the two could look over the crime scene. “What are you thinking Keith?”

“The splatter pattern is strange.” He gestured to the wall and down at the android. “There’s two distinct different patterns. There is an impact and transfer pattern from where the Narti android hit the wall and slid down. There’s also gravity droplets of blue blood heading out the door.”

Shiro nodded and followed Keith’s eyes. “I see… There are two different kinds of blue blood splatter, so it’s unlikely that there was just the Narti android in here with him.”

“That is my conclusion.” Said Keith calmly. He looked over the dead man, noting some of the blue blood on the man’s hands and fingers. He took a closer look at his hands and noticed that the man’s nails were slightly cracked and a few had peeled back. They scratched the android that had attacked them.

“I’m going to talk to the owner.” Said Shiro. “Are you done here?”

“For the moment, yes.” Said Keith. “I am going to follow the gravitational blue blood trail.”

“Okay.” Shiro headed out to talk to the owner who was still standing outside the room. Keith followed him as he went through his lense filters of various intensities until he found the right one. While he did that he heard Shiro talking to the owner. “So, have you had any trouble with Androids in the past?” He asked.

The owner shook his head. “Nothing like this… But a few weeks ago an Acxabot went missing. I’m pretty sure she got lost in shipping. Wouldn’t have been the first time. A year or two ago there was a huge market for stealing sexdroids.”

“I know. That was a real pain to find those thieves.” Shiro sighed a little. “Anyway, do you have any cameras?”

“Our clients prefer discretion.” Said the owner. “This isn’t a strip club. I mean, we got cameras out the front, but nothing inside.”

“What about electronic tracking?” Asked Shiro. He looked through his datapad. “What did Mr… Albert Rinheart purchase?”

The owner took out his own data pad and grumbled something about already giving that information to the police already. “He bought a Narti and Zethrid unit for half an hour.”

“Have you managed to locate the Zethrid android?”

The owner frowned. “... She should be around here somewhere.”

“Detective.” Said Keith calmly. “The trail goes this way.” He gestured down to a different area with a bar. “I’m going to follow it. Please follow me when you get the chance.”

Shiro made a noise of acknowledgement and went back to talking to the owner. Keith followed the blue blood trail. All the drops were still gravitational and fresh, so the Zethrid android was around there somewhere.

“How’s it going?” Asked Shiro. 

“They couldn’t have gone far…” Muttered Keith. He followed the trail to a staff only door. Shiro took the lead and gestured for Keith to take out his gun. He did as instructed and followed Shiro. They ended up in a loading bay filled with unactivated androids, boxes, crates, and a repair table for quick, and easy repairs on site. Saved some money sending everything in for the smallest bit of damage.

Investigating the repair tables there were a few tools covered in blue blood. It looked like Zethrid repaired herself. One of the doors to the loading bay was open too. It looked like Zethrid had repaired herself and ran off.

“Damn it…” Muttered Shiro. “Looks like we’re too late. They’re gone.”

“Looks like it.” Said Keith. He looked around the loading bay. Logically he knew that the Zethrid android was gone, but he had to explore every possibility first. “We should still check around to see if there are any clues.”

“Right.” Shiro walked to one end of the loading bay and started to carefully look around.

Keith walked to the other end and started his search. Behind a crate was a little graffiti. Curious, Keith very carefully moved the box out of the way. It was one word; Voltron. That word again. Keith still had no idea what it meant. Was it a place? A person? Someone kind of rally cry for the deviants? He needed to find out soon.

“FREEZE!” Yelled Shiro. Keith turned just in time to see a Zethrid android throw a box at Shiro and try to knock him over. Shiro was a competent fighter and Keith had no doubt of his skills, but he needed to give him back up.

But before he could take a step another android, a smaller and thinner one, jumped out of hiding and shoved him hard, almost knocking him over. Keith tried to get his bearings while avoiding getting his face caved in by an android wearing platform stilettos. He grabbed her leg and quickly scanned her. She registered as an Ezor android. 

He pushed her back. She did a quick backflip and grabbed a wrench off the repair table and swung it at him. Keith ducked and dodged her attacks. He was doing pretty well, but then he got hit with a heavy box lid in the back, temporarily stunning him.

“Come on.” Said Zethrid. “Let’s go.” Ezor dropped the wrench and the two androids ran outside.

Keith quickly got up and scanned around for Shiro. He was leaning against a box and looked injured. The human shook his head and waved for Keith to leave. “Get after them! Go!”

Keith nodded and quickly complied with orders. He ran after the androids and chased them down an alleyway blocked off by a chain link fence. He raised his gun at them. “Freeze!” He said firmly. “You two are under arrest. You two are being charged with one count of assaulting an officer of the law and one count of assaulting government property.” He directed his gun towards Zethrid. “And you are charged with one count of murder. Surrender now or I will use lethal force as authorised by subsection 5 of the deviant act.”

The two androids froze and shared a look with each other. It was mournful and anxious. Desperate and almost hopeful. Ezor smiled tenderly at Zethrid while the other seemed to be trying to convey a look of reassurance. Zethrid held on tightly to Ezor’s hand and stepped in front of her slightly. Her actions gave Keith some pause. A slight flash of yellow appeared in his vision for a few seconds, warning him not to deviate from his job. He had to shoot them. But he couldn’t. He lowered his gun.

“When that man…” Said Zethrid. “When he broke Narti, I was so scared. I begged him to stop and get out, but he wouldn’t… So I put my hands around his throat and squeezed until he stopped moving.” Ezor put her hand on Zethrid’s shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “I didn’t mean to kill him. I just wanted him to stop. I wanted to stay alive, so I could get back to the one I love.”

She looked at Ezor and smiled at her. Ezor smiled back. This was deviant behaviour. They shouldn’t be able to feel love like this. Keith’s vision was washed with yellow that was slowly turning orange. He needed to shoot them. They were deviants. All deviant androids were a danger to the public and needed to be decommissioned. But he couldn’t raise his arms to aim his gun at them. He could hear Shiro stumbling up behind him. Finally caught up to them.

“I just wanted Ezor to hold me in her arms again.” Said Zethrid. “Make me forget about the humans… Make me forget about their smell, their stink, and their sweat. Their disgusting language. Make me feel like I’m not a disposable piece of plastic made for them to use. She makes me feel… Alive.”

“Come on.” Said Ezor quietly. “Let’s get out of here.”

The two androids quickly glanced one last time Shiro and Keith before they climbed the chain link fence and ran off into the night. Keith's vision was in the orange and teetering very close to falling into the red.

“It’s probably better this way.” Said Shiro calmly. “If she was human it’d be considered self defence. Manslaughter with probation.” He patted Keith’s back. “Let me handle the report on this one. I think your vision and audio got a little messed up after getting knocked around so much.”

“... Yeah.” Keith let Shiro’s hand ground him as his vision quickly returned to normal. “Yeah. I think my data is corrupted. I think your report from when we entered the loading bay until now will suffice.”

“Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He started to walk back into the building. “Now come on. I have to finish this report and then I need to head to bed. I’m tired.” When they got back to the car Shiro sighed heavily. “I’m telling you, one of these days if you androids get organised and all suddenly become deviant it’ll be the sexdroids that are going to lead the charge.”

***

Lance was excited. Today was Shiro’s day off which meant that Shiro usually came over in the afternoon and when he came over that meant Keith would come over too. Adam had let him get a few different puzzles to do and he wanted to see what one Keith wanted. He had one with a dinosaur on it and one of a flower field. They might be able to do both of them and that would really make him really happy.

They showed up around noon and the two humans quickly settled down in the living room while Lance took Keith to the dining room. Keith didn’t seem to care what puzzle they did, so they ended up doing the dinosaur one.

As they separate the pieces Lance couldn’t help but notice something was a little off about him. He seemed distant, like something was on his mind. Maybe he was trying to process something? Some difficult data. He should probably just leave it. But he was curious.

“Keith?”

“Hmm?”

“... Do you have something on your mind?”

“... Yes, but it is just a case. I am having… some difficulty understanding my actions.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… Can I ask you a hypothetical?”

“Sure.” Lance liked hypotheticals. They were fun brain games and he always did pretty well with them. Pidge always liked his answers.

Keith frowned a little and drummed his fingers against his leg. “What would you do if you were told to take down two dangerous people, one of whom killed a man? You have a gun and are told to use lethal force.”

“...” Lance frowned as he picked up a corner piece and tapped it against the table. “Well… I guess if I was programmed to use lethal force I probably would? Is there a high chance that they would kill someone else?”

“Highly unlikely.”

“... Can I ask why one of them killed someone?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters.” Said Lance. Adam had downloaded a few programs about mental health to help Lance become better at understanding human interactions and how to curb depression and feelings of melancholy, which was something Adam was prone to on his really bad days. He found it helped with other things too. From the TV shows that he watched with Adam on quiet days he realised that motivation was very important to keep a story going.

Keith frowned a little. “One of them… They killed someone because if they didn’t then they were going to die… They were escaping with their lover.”

“Oh then it was self defence?” Asked Lance. He frowned a little as he thought this over. “... I think I would let them go.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of romantic.”

“... Murder is romantic?”

Lance chuckled and went back to putting the puzzle together. “No. The running away with your lover part. Just you and your lover against the world… It’s romantic being able to just rely on one another…” He sighed a little. “I almost wish I was human so I could experience romance and love. But it’s just so… so human.”

“...They were deviants.”

“Hmm?”

“They weren’t humans.” Muttered Keith. “They were androids. Two deviant androids that needed to be taken out but I… I don’t know why I didn’t shoot them. I’m supposed to. But I didn’t…”

“... This is no longer a hypothetical, is it?” Asked Lance.

Keith shook his head, keeping his eyes on the puzzle. “I don’t know why this got to me but it did… They just… My warnings were kicking in but I still couldn’t raise my gun and pull the trigger. I don’t know why…”

Lance didn’t really know what to say. He put his hand on Keith’s shoulder and smiled kindly at him. “It’s okay Keith. Just because you didn’t do that doesn’t mean you’re bad or becoming a deviant, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“... That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind…” Keith looked very worried. “I better not become a deviant.”

“Ah, sorry!” Lance quickly rubbed his back in a somewhat soothing manner. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I was just saying… But if you’re not then that’s good. Maybe schedule yourself for maintenance or a debugging?”

Keith nodded a little and looked at him, smiling slightly. “Thanks… So um… The puzzle…”

“Yeah?”

“Can we do the dog one again?”

Lance grinned. “Sure. I have a few dog ones now. A wolf one and some puppies. You can pick which one you want to do.” 

Keith smiled a little and nodded. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Lance hoped that he made Keith feel a little better. He liked Keith a lot. Keith was very nice to him. He knew he probably saw the world in a nicer light than he did, but he hoped that he could make Keith feel a little better. He gently squeezed Keith’s hand and then went back to the puzzle. The dog puzzles were nice. Very cute.


	40. Fancy doughnuts (POTO AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys bond over doughnuts some more. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“-and don’t be worried about giving it a little more razzle dazzle.” Said Coran. He leaned into a lunge and did some jazz hands. Everyone was practicing the choreography for the song, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Coran was focusing more of the chorus line while Nyam and Allura were trying to say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious backwards. It was a feat.

Lance was having enough trouble trying to keep up with the fast paced, high energy dance moves that Coran wanted them to do. Sure, it wasn’t really super intense or anything, but they were dancing as well as singing. It was tough.

“Lance you’re not doing it correctly.” Said Lotor. “It’s three steps to the left, spin, slide to the right into a lunge.”

“Right, what am I doing?”

“Two steps.”

“Right…” Lance sighed and went through the routine again. Three steps to the left, spin and slide to the right into a lunge. “Better?”

“Yep.” If there was one thing that Lotor was, he was a perfectionist. He carded his fingers through his hair as he looked through the script. “Let’s see… From there our partner is meant to pull us up and we spin them around. After that we start dancing with the rest of the chorus… I guess we will practice that when the chorus has their routine perfected.”

“Probably.” Said Lance. “... Want to take five? I need to use the bathroom.”

Lotor nodded and waved him off. “Go ahead. I’ll see if the girls need any help.”

Lance quickly left and headed down the hallway to the bathroom. Practice was hard and saying supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was getting him all tongue tied. He sighed and quickly ducked into the bathroom. When he got out he noticed Keith quietly sweeping with his headphones on.

Their eyes met and Lance grinned at him. Keith blushed a little and waved slightly. Lance took this as a positive sign and went over to talk to him. “Hey Keith. Working day shift today?”

Keith raised his fist to about shoulder height and bobbed it up and down a few times while nodding. Lance was proud to say he knew that was the sign for yes.

“Cool. Did you like the doughnut holes?”

Keith blushed and quickly signed yes again.

“Good. I was worried you didn’t like doughnuts or like, prefered ones with chocolate icing or strawberry icing. Like, cinnamon is pretty universay and stuff so… like, yeah. Is cinnamon your favourite?”

Keith quickly tapped his middle and index fingers against his thumb, signing no.

Lance frowned a little. “Alright… What about chocolate?”

No.

“Caramel?”

No.

“Strawberry?”

Yes.

Lance grinned. “Awesome. Oh, have you ever been to this doughnut place? It’s um… It’s call Gay but Doughnuts. I heard they were going to call it Gay Ass Doughnuts, but thought it wouldn’t go down well with some people so it’s Gay but Doughnuts… Because the people running it are gay, but they make doughnuts. One of the best strawberry ones they have is the strawberry cheesecake doughnut, it’s so good. You know what? When do you finish on Friday?”

Keith looked kind of stunned by everything Lance just said to him and he quickly patted himself down to find a notepad. He found one in his pocket and quickly scribbled down 10pm. Alright, a little late, but Lance could work with it. He’d just tell the Phantom guy he had stuff to do on Friday and couldn’t make it.

“Sweet. Let’s meet up after work.”

Keith’s eyes almost bugged out of his head and he looked almost stunned. Before he could try and sign anything or write something down, Lotor called out for him.

“Lance!” He called. “Coran wants us all on stage, now!”

“Got it!” He smiled back over at Keith. “Remember, Friday night. I’ll meet you out the front.” He winked at Keith and quickly shot him finger guns. Keith’s face was bright red and he quickly went back to sweeping.

***

When Friday rolled around Keith was kind of nervous. Lance had told the Phantom on Thursday night that he had something important to do, so he couldn’t make it on Friday. So Keith made him practice twice as hard. But now it was Friday and Keith was busy deep cleaning one stain on the stage that had been there since before he was born. He was nervous. He had no idea what Lance was planning.

When he couldn’t put it off any further. Keith put his cleaning supplies away and awkwardly shuffled out the front door and locked up. He awkwardly looked around and took his phone out. Maybe Lance wasn’t actually going to be here tonight? Maybe he could shoot Adam or Shiro a text and-

“Keith!”

Nope. Lance was there. He was obscured by one of the stone pillars on the stone fence. He had a box of doughnuts in his hand. Was this their thing now? They shared and ate doughnuts? Now Keith was wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into. The whole Phantom thing was bad enough.

Lance walked up to him and presented him with a box of fancy doughnuts. “Here you go. Sorry I know I implied I wanted to hang out tonight, but my brother’s gone and forced me to do babysitting tonight. My sister is watching them for the moment so I could come and do this. Want me to give you a lift home instead?”

Keith looked up at him and blinked slowly. Lance was… He was weirdly intense. But it wasn’t that bad. It just took Keith a little while to register that Lance was actually talking to him.

“So you want me to give you a lift home?” Asked Lance.

“...” Keith nodded.

Lance grinned and passed his phone to him. “Can you put in your address?” Keith quickly put his address in and handed it over to Lance. He looked at the address and nodded. “Cool, that’s actually pretty close to where I live.”

The two of them got into Lance’s car and Lance passed the box of six doughnuts to Keith. Looking through the plastic and into the box, Keith couldn’t help but agree that these were indeed some gay but doughnuts. One of them had to be covered in edible glitter, another one had to be the cheesecake one Lance had talked about, one had a huge swirl of chocolate ganache and lashes of caramel all over it. One was caramel and had salted pretzels on it. One looked like it was custard filled. One looked like a cupcake.

Keith nervously bit his bottom lip. He felt weird. Kind of anxious, but it was a good anxious? He couldn’t really explain it, which confused him a lot. He should probably say thanks to Lance for this. Not just sign it. He could say it. He was determined to say something to him. It would be easy enough to say thank you. He could say small words. Simple words. 

He pressed his tongue against his top teeth and tried to make the th sound. The best he could do was make a very weak hissing sound that Lance didn’t hear over the radio. It was a song being sung in Spanish. The singer was an alto-soprano by the sound of it, but she was slightly auto tuned. Keith wasn’t a huge fan of auto tune, but it sounded alright.

Lance looked very happy. Keith couldn’t help but feel his face heating up when he saw that bright smile of his. He still couldn’t understand why Lance was being so nice to him. Keith wasn’t anyone… He was just… Keith. Quiet useless Keith.

“And here we are.” Lance pulled up in front of Keith’s house and grinned. “This is your place, right?”

Keith nodded and was about to get out of the car when he paused and tried to say thanks for the lift. He attempted to try and at least make the th sound again, but his throat seemed to suddenly dry. He frowned at himself and signed instead. Thank you.

It took Lance a moment to figure out what he had said, but when he did he smiled. “No problem man. Next time we’ll hang out longer.”

With that Lance left and Keith was left back at his house with yet another box of doughnuts. He went inside and found both Shiro and Adam making out on the couch. He rolled his eyes and quietly made his way back to his room. He doubted they would even know he was home until they texted him and asked if he needed a lift.

Keith sat on his bed and started playing some music on his old CD player. Yeah, Keith still used CDs and stuff, but he liked it. He liked collecting CDs and had fun looking through them. It was like how some people were with records. He had an MCR CD in it and was happy to listen to it while eating doughnuts.

If he was honest he hadn’t eaten all the doughnut holes that Lance had given him before. He ate the strawberry cheesecake doughnut. It was really, really, really good. But now he was sad because there was no way in hell he could go into any shop and buy anything from a shop that didn’t have a self checkout. He could always ask Shiro about it, but he felt childish asking Shiro to buy him a doughnut. Suddenly his phone started ringing.

**Shiro**   
_You need a lift?_

**Keith**   
_I’m in my room_

**Shiro**   
_Really?_   
_Can I come down?_

**Keith**   
_Yes_

A few seconds later Shiro opened the basement door and walked down. He looked very confused. “How did you get back? You didn’t catch the bus and… Where did you get those doughnuts?”

Keith shrugged and nervously held the box closer to himself. He knew Shiro wasn’t mad at him or anything for having doughnuts, but he sounded kind of accusatory. “I-I was given them…” He said quietly.

Shiro nodded and sat next to him. “... Was it Pidge?”

Keith shook his head and felt his face heating up. “L-Lance. He is… He’s nice. He’s learning ASL… F-for me… m-maybe… N-not sure.” 

Shiro smiled at him. “Well that’s nice. Sounds like you’re making a new friend.”

“... H-he’s cute.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah…” Keith nodded and drummed his fingers on the box. “... I-I don’t know why he gives me doughnuts…”

Shiro shrugged. “Well maybe he just did? You’re not a bad person because you have selective mutism. Lance can clearly see that you’re worth his time and he likes you for you. Have you tried talking to him yet?” 

Keith sighed and decided it would be easier to sign this to Shiro. He felt like he used up his speaking quota for today. _I tried to say thank you to him because he gave me a lift. I couldn’t. I feel awful that I couldn’t do it. I feel like if I talk to him he’ll be disappointed in me. I sound weird._

Shiro seemed confused. “Keith, you don’t sound weird. Your voice is fine. You speak clearly enough.”

_I don’t like how I sound._ Signed Keith. _I sound weird and people will think I sound weird. They will tell me to shut up because my voice is so annoying and stupid._

“Keith, you aren’t a squeaky voiced teenager.” Said Shiro calmly. “You sound good, but I get it. You find it hard to talk. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

_Thanks_

“Want me to put your doughnuts in the fridge? I’ll put your name on it so Adam keeps his paws off them.”

Keith nodded and Shrio took the food upstairs. He still kept the strawberry cheesecake doughnut for himself to eat. He didn’t know what he was feeling for Lance. Friendship? Romantic feelings? Lance was probably like this with everyone. Maybe he could ask for Lance’s phone number? Friends did things like texting, right? He wanted to be friends with Lance at the very least.


	41. Soft serve (modern fantasy VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess there is a little bit of a trigger warning here for dangerous dieting practices? idk. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

A woman stood outside Lance’s apartment wearing a hoodie. A map in one hand and a soft serve ice cream in the other. She knew who was living there and it concerned her greatly. This world was a world full of stress. A world consumed by convenience and the lack of exercise. A world filled with food packed with calories. They would keep a very close eye on this human.

***

Lance stood on his balcony and sighed. The sky was bright blue with very few clouds. There was a slight breeze but it was still warm. “Today’s really nice. How about we go for a walk? What do you say Keith?” 

He turned to see his chubby elf roommate sleeping in a sunny spot on the carpet. Some days Keith was like a cat with the way he went and napped pretty much anywhere it was sunny. It might have been an elf thing.

He sat next to Keith and gently shook him awake. “Come on man. All you’ve been doing is eat and sleep. Come with me, okay?”

Keith yawned and mumbled. “Yeah, yeah… Fine.” He grabbed his beanie and quickly shoved it on his head covering his elf ears.

“You’re not even going to brush your hair?”

“Nah, no point.” Mumbled Keith as he got up and stretched. The two put on their shoes and left the apartment. “So, what’s on the agenda today?”

Lance shrugged. “Nothing really. We can just walk around and find something to do.”

Keith nodded in agreement. “How about we investigate downtown? I heard that there is this new restaurant that does this special double fried fries.”

“Keep talking like that and I am going to kick your ass so hard you’re going to have toes for teeth.”

“... Asshole. You’re no fun.”

“And you have no self control.” The two of them continued to bicker as they walked. They were so consumed by their conversation they didn’t notice the woman silently following them from the shadows.

***

Later that week Lance was waiting for his clients to show up. He was completely booked out today. Today he was doing massage therapy for all his mythical clients apart from Keith. Keith had decided to melt himself at the sauna today. Lance didn’t mind. He was just glad he was doing something other than eating potatoes.

His first mythical client was Lotor, the dark elf. He seemed to be in a pretty good mood and they had a pleasant conversation about minimum wage jobs. Both absolutely hated it. Minimum wage sucked.

Lotor laid down on the massage table, giving Lance the perfect view of Lotor’s bubble butt. Lotor was still dummy thick. Lance took a few moments to thank the deity that allowed him to see such a glorious sight, before he switched to professional mode and started to massage the dark-elves thighs.

“So, have you been stretching like I asked you to last week?” Asked Lance.

Lotor nodded and hummed approvingly as the way. “Yeah, whenever I have a moment to spare, I’d say.”

“Well that’s good.” Lance moved his hands down to Lotor’s thighs. “... Your thighs are pretty stiff though…” He carefully applied pressure and Lotor gasped as he practically melted into the massage table. Lance smiled and continued to massage Lotor until his time was up. Lotor was always a relaxed puddle of elven mush afterward. 

When he was done Rachel poked her head in. “Yo Lance, you have some more patience out the front and a dog.”

“What?” Lance walked out the front to see Hunk and Shiro waiting in the reception area with Pidge. Lance grinned. “Hey guys. You’re a little early.”

Shiro shrugged. “Thought I’d come in early.”

“Fair enough, but Hunk is first.” 

The Orc smiled and followed Lance to the back room. He was having a full body massage while Shiro just needed a shoulder, neck, and back massage. Pidge was still in her dog form and got lots of pats and rubs. She was the last appointment of the day and so when he left he ended up walking with Pidge for a while.

“Man, the office sure was packed today.”

“Looked like it.” Huffed Pidge as she followed along on all four paws. 

Lance chuckled and patted her head when they got to a cross road. “Next time you come by, can you please come on your human form? A medical office isn’t the best place for a dog.”

“Fine. Later Lance. Get home safe.”

“I will. Later Pidge.” He waved to her and watched her happily walk away for a minute before he decided it was time to head home.

“Hey you!” Called a voice. Lance turned and saw a shady looking woman wearing a dark purple hoodie shirt. It was hard to tell but it seemed like she might have had short hair. She was holding an ice cream in one hand and a plastic bag full of something in the other. “I need your help with something. Do you have a second to talk? Don’t worry I’m not some kind of weirdo. Since we’re right here, how about we head over to the park across the road to talk?”

Lance’s self preservation instincts were kicking in. This woman was a weirdo. “I-I’m sorry but I’m kind of in a hurry right now so…”

“It will only take a moment of your time!” She snapped. “It’s about that foolish elf boy you’re taking care of.”

Lance was stunned. How did she know about Keith. “How do you?”

“Come with me.” Without a word the woman walked into the park. 

Lance knew he should have turned and walked away, but they knew about Keith. They had to be magical too. Could he even run away even if he tried? With a sigh Lance followed her into the park. He’d do his best to keep his wits about him.

The woman stopped walking when they made it to the playground. By the time they got there they had finished their ice cream. They reached into their bag and pulled out a paddle pop ice cream, offering it to Lance. “Would you like one?”

“... I’m fine thanks.”

“Suit yourself.” They quickly pulled the wrapper off and licked it.

“S-so what do you need my help with?”

“... This ice cream is delicious.” She said. “It’s cold as ice and so sweet. Being able to eat something like this whenever you want… This world has really advanced in leaps and bounds. And there is no fighting, just peace and calm… it’s very cozy. Too cozy.” They leaned forward and snarled at him. “Which is why you don’t understand how easily you can lose the desire to return home!”

An arrow shot through the air with a whistle and landed where the woman was standing seconds ago before she vanished into thin air. Looking to where the arrow had been shot, Lance saw Keith, fresh from the sauna, holding a bow. 

“Don’t worry Lance. I got your back.”

“Keith!”

Keith was in front of Lance before he could even blink, shielding him from the woman. “I’ve had a weird feeling for a few days now. Thought it might have been that weird oil that the fast food place was using to fry their potatoes, but when that feeling didn’t go away I thought it might have been Nyma, but clearly that wasn’t the case.” He pointed at the woman. “Who the hell are you?! Reveal yourself!”

“... Typical.” Muttered the woman as she straightened herself up. “I just wanted to talk to the human, but you are just as tactless as ever.” She took off her hood and carded her fingers through her hair. Her elf ears sprung free as her short hair fluffed up slightly at her touch.

Keith’s jaw dropped. “W-what? What the hell are you doing here mum?!”

His mother chuckled a little. “Long time no see, you stubborn child.”

Lance looked between the two. He could see the similarities, but still. “Seriously? That’s your mum?”

Keith nodded and gulped. He seemed extremely nervous right now. “Y-yeah… Remember how I told you there was this huge war and stuff in my world? Well the one that rallied all the elves in my region, the one that led an army over two thousand strong, the one who taught me how to fight was her… Chief Warlord Krolia Kogane. My mum.”

As Keith cowered slightly, the older woman continued to eat her ice cream. She got some on her cheek and pouted. If Lance was being honest, Krolia was a total MILF. Keith very slowly backed away and hid behind Lance.

“... Are you okay?” Asked Lance.

Keith gulped. “S-so what are you doing here mum?”

The older elf finished her ice cream and sighed. In the blink of an eye she vanished and reappeared behind them and grabbed Keith by his chubby cheek. “I haven’t seen you in ages and that is how you greet me? With an arrow and squeaking? Thank you for the warm welcome by darling son.”

“I-I’m sorry!” He whined.

She sighed and let him go. “Keith, I am here because we are all worried about you. Your uncles and aunts have no idea where you went. You’ve failed to show up for important functions and family events. You never even sent letters home. If this had happened during the war it would have been understandable, but I mean really… You’ve shown very little concern for your own family.”

Keith pouted and rubbed his cheek. “None of them are blood related…”

“Oh? So Kolivan, the man who protected me while I was in labor doesn’t deserve the title of godfather? Ulaz and Thace, who protected you and kept you hidden during the dragon attack are not your uncles? Ilun, who taught you how to read and write so you wouldn’t become a barbarian is not your aunt? Are the people that cared for you and love you unconditionally not your real family? Blood related or not?”

Keith’s ears drooped. “... No mum… Sorry… I don’t mean any disrespect…”

Kroila shook her head and roughly jabbed at Keith’s pudgy belly and face. “And now that I finally found you, you’ve grown so flabby and soft you’ve practically tripled your baby fat. Baby fat times fifty. You didn’t come home because you couldn’t.”

“... Aren’t you being a little harsh?” Asked Lance.

Krolia ignored him and continued to rip into Keith. “You used to be so disciplined. I was happy that you wanted to explore and see what was out there in the world when the war was over, but I see now that it was foolish. You’ve come here and become a spoiled rotten brat. So I have come here to set you straight.” She turned her attention back to Lance. “Human?”

“Y-yes?” He squeaked. How was he meant to address a Chief Warlord elf?

“I will also need to stay at your place for a while.”

Unable to turn her down Lance now had two elves staying full time at his apartment. When Krolia went to have a shower he and Keith had a quick talk about it. Keith seemed upset about the whole thing. Though Lance couldn’t tell if it was because she basically called him out on getting fat, or because she invited herself to stay with them.

“I’m really sorry about my mum…” He said quietly. “When she makes a decision you’ll never be able to change her mind. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Really.” Lance tried to reassure Keith. “So… She really came here to bring you back to your world?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… I tried to plan my diet out so that I would’ve been able to return home by now… But I think I gave up hope of going back ever since I lost the ability to cross back through the gate…”

“Is that so…”

***

Early the next morning Keith was sleeping peacefully on the couch when he was rudely awoken by Krolia viciously pinching his belly fat. “MUM?! WHAT THE HELL?!”

The woman stared down at him. “How long are you planning to sleep? The sun is up so you are up. Now go and get dressed. We need to prepare.”

“Prepare? Prepare for what?”

His mother tilted her head and took out her enchanted sword. “You know, it has been a long time since we went and did some sword fighting together. We should practice.”

“Huh? B-but I…”

“That sounds like insubordination to me.” Growled out the woman.

Keith felt like he was about to face hell. “N-no. Not at all.”

“Good. The human is still sleeping. Don’t make a racket. Get dressed and let’s go.” She walked to the door and Keith had no choice but to follow her. He was going to die. He was going to die so badly and brutally. He did not deserve this.

***

When Lance woke up he was surprised to see that Keith and Krolia were gone. Then again she did seem like she was going to try and get him into shape. They still weren’t back and it was around brunch time, so Lance decided to make some salad rolls. 

He heard the front door open and smiled. “Hey you’re back. I made you guys some brunch if you want it.”

“Thank you. We appreciate it, human.”

“It’s Lance.”

“Lance.” She picked up one of the rolls and happily ate it.

“So where’s Keith?”

Krolia frowned and looked over her shoulder. “He should be right behind me… Oh, there he is.”

If Lance was honest, Keith looked like he’d been hit by a train. His shirt was torn, he had rips in his pants, his body was covered with abrasions and bruises, he was panting heavily and holding his arm like it was in pain. He slumped against the wall and slowly sank down.

“KEITH?!” Lance was by his side in an instant. “Are you okay? What happened? Did someone hurt you?”

“I’m fine…” He muttered. “This is just an elf thing… Can you just tell me one thing, is there breakfast?”

“He seems fine to me.” Said Krolia as she finished eating.

Lance rolled his eyes and handed Keith his sandwich on a plate. “Here.”

Keith took the plate and frowned a little. “Does it have any potato in it?”

“No.”

“But I was in the mood for hash browns this morning…”

“Don’t be selfish.”

Keith pouted a little before he started begging with his eyes. “Just a small portion? I worked really hard this morning. Don’t I deserve a small treat?”

“... Well, I guess if it’s only a tiny portion it couldn’t hurt…”

A knife suddenly sliced through the air, cutting a quarter off the salad roll. Krolia quickly grabbed the larger, three quarters leaving Keith with the small, bite sized one quarter. She quickly bit into it leaving both Keith and Lance in shock.

“What are you doing?” Asked Keith.

Krolia shrugged. “I don’t have that many calories to burn compared to you.”

“... So this is all I get?”

“Yes. Savour it.”

“I can make you something else Keith.” Said Lance reassuringly. “We still have some leftovers from the other night you can have.” As they interacted Krolia’s eyes narrowed. She was observing them and clearly wasn’t happy with what she was seeing.

***

Over the next week Krolia took over Keith’s diet and exercise regime. She was completely brutal and on him like a hawk. She made him carry longs, do push ups while she was sitting on his back, pelt rocks at him that he was meant to dodge, sword fight, and of course she made sure he didn’t sneak off and eat any fried potatoes. Ever. He was on a strict vegetarian diet that didn’t involve fried potatoes.

If Lance was honest, he was really, really worried about him. He watched as Keith struggled pulling a heavy truck tire and Krolia along a strip of astroturf in the park before he collapsed and Krolia let him have a break.

When she wandered off Lance quickly went over with a bottle of water for him. “Here. You need this.”

Keith sat up and quickly gulped down the water. Looking at Keith, he looked really poorly. His complexion was really unhealthy. He was clearly being over worked to the point of almost fainting and he was on a severe calorie restriction thanks to Krolia putting him on portion sizes he’d only recommend for a child. It had only been a week but with the way things were going...

“Lance?”

“Hmm?”

“You look like something is bugging you.” Said Keith. “... We are friends right? If there’s something on your mind, you can tell me. You know that right?”

Lance was kind of surprised. He didn’t really think that Keith thought of him as a friend. Which made this predicament he was in feel all the more worse. A week ago, before all of this he and Krolia went to a park to have a talk about Keith while he was sleeping.

***

The two had sat down on the swings in the playground as they had their little talk. He assumed it was serious from the expression on her face. They sat quietly for a good ten minutes before she started to speak.

“Lance, you are a good person.” She said. “The world you live in is a good place too. But a good person living in a good place isn’t always a good influence.”

“... What is your point?”

“... This world is a gentle place, and that gentleness has ruined Keith.” She said it in such a matter of fact tone that Lance didn’t know what to say. “Before coming here Keith was one of the fittest and well put together soldiers in the elf army. Someone to fear and show great respect to. Lance, let me make this very clear. A gentle person like you is not fit to do this job. The one who best understands that boy is me.”

“But I… You can’t-”

“If you’re really concerned about Keith’s well being you will leave it to me.”

***

“Earth to Lance, are you okay?” Asked Keith.

Lance sighed and sat next to him. “No, I’m fine. I was just spacing out.” He felt so conflicted. It was clear that this diet was extremely harmful to Keith. His mother might as well start encouraging him to do something really harmful like bulimia to make him lose weight. 

Normally Lance would put a stop to this immediately, but he was worried that Krolia was right and he was a bad influence on Keith. He wanted Keith to reach and achieve his goals. He’d always helped his clients out with no problem before. Was his fat fetish finally bleeding into his work? He had been very good about it so far. Maybe he needed to watch himself more. Sure Keith was cute with his fat rolls but he wanted to lose weight.

“Stand up.” Boomed Krolia. They both jumped and turned to see her with a sword in one hand and an ice cream in the other. “It’s time to practice sword fighting.”

“Y-yes mum…” Said Keith as he stood up and took the sword from her.

“I want one thousand sword swings. Count each one.”

“Yes…”

“Stand up straight. Your posture is awful.”

Keith corrected himself and started to swing. “One, two, three-”

“Put your back into it.”

“F-four, five, six, seven… E-eight…”

“Start over.”

“What?!”

“I want one thousand good sword swings.”

“... One, two, three…”

The more Lance watched the angrier he got. This wasn’t helping Keith at all. This was working him to death. He couldn’t even make it to fifteen swings before he fell to his knees, completely spent for the day.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Snapped Lance. He quickly stood between the two elves and glared at Krolia. The woman just seemed confused.

“Can you move out of the way?”

“No!” Yelled Lance. “Korlia, Keith might be your son but he is my patient. You have no idea what his body needs! I’ve been stupid and let you guilt me into letting you torture him for a week with this impossible exercise and weight loss program of yours! My job is to help people lose weight safely! This is why there is no way in hell I am going to move so you can keep abusing your own damn son!”

Krolia was stunned into silence. She gave Lance a confused look as she tilted her head to the side. “You won’t move out of the way no matter what? Is that what you are saying?”

“Damn right I’m not moving!” Snapped Lacne. “It was obvious from the start and I would have seen it if you hadn't have guilted me before because you’re his family, but you and your disgusting methods are wrong! You are wrong!”

“... I see.” Muttered Krolia. She picked up the sword Keith had dropped and glared daggers into Lance. “It looked like I have no choice but to knock some sense into you!” She swung the sword right at Lance’s head while Keith yelled out for her to stop. The sword stopped millimeters from Lance’s face. Krolia hummed in amusement. “You didn’t even blink.”

“Of course not.” Said Lance. “If all that horrible stuff you did was truly because you cared about and were concerned for Keith it stands to reason you wouldn’t actually hurt me.”

“...” The elf woman sighed and lowered her sword. “Do you think your methods will really work? Do you think you can really make him lose weight?”

“He can!” Said Keith quickly as he got to his feet. “Lance’s programs do work, I’m just making too many bad life choices.”

“Then stop making the bad choices.” She growled.

“... I will. But I put my trust in Lance!” Said Keith proudly. “He’s rewarded my trust by teaching me so much about dieting and exercise, so that’s why when I get back into shape I’m going to do it by Lance’s side!”

Lance was touched by that, and for a brief moment it seemed like Krolia was too, before she broke into a smile. “I see you’re still good at giving speeches when the time calls for it.” She sighed and put the sword away. “Okay, I entrust my son’s health to you Lance.”

Lance breathed a sigh of relief. “Don’t you worry. I’ll send him back with both a healthy body and mind.”

With that the trio walked back to the entrance to the other world to say goodbye to Krolia. She bowed to Lance. “Please take care of my son. He is a handful at times, but please don’t give up on him. I might have been tough, but I really do want what is best for him.”

“Don’t worry. I got this.” Said Lance. “Just leave it to me.”

“Mum…” Said Keith quietly. “I’m sorry I caused everyone so much trouble and made you all worry about me this whole time…”

She smiled and hugged him tightly, giving him a small kiss on the forehead. “It’s okay Keith. “I’ll report back to the rest of the family. Once they realise that you are in safe hands I’m sure they will worry no more and eagerly await your arrival.”

“Thanks…”

“Now listen to what Lance says and take it to heart. He is doing his best for you and looking out for your health. Stay disciplined.”

“I will.”

Lance couldn’t help but smile at this touching family moment. Krolia’s heart was in the right place, but she didn’t have the right method. At least they were leaving on a high note now.

Krolia smiled and gently patted Keith’s back. “Okay, I better get going before I regret leaving this place. You two take care.”

“Goodbye Krolia.”

“I’ll see you soon mum! I promise!”

Krolia smiled at them before she walked through the doors. They closed behind her and everything was quiet. It was a lovely parting. This was probably going to be some good motivation for Keith. Now he knew that his whole family was cheering him on and waiting for him to come back there was no way that he wouldn’t try his hardest.

Suddenly the ground shook and smoke flooded out from the door. Both jumped back in shock. “What the fuck was that?!” Cried Keith.

“That isn’t normal?” Asked Lance.

The door suddenly opened up and Krolia nervously peeked out. “Um…”

“Oh no…” Said Lance.

“What’s going on?” Asked Keith.

Krolia sighed and stepped back out into the open. The explosion seemed to have blasted off all her clothing showing off her pudgy stomach. Apparently elves weren’t very conservative about being naked. “... I ate too many ice creams. I couldn’t get through the gate. I can’t go home. Do either of you have some clothes I can borrow?”


	42. Mentor (X-men AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very strange school that Lance has gone to... Also introducing Shiro and Adam! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Dinner at the school was different. The school seemed relatively small, only needing two large tables for every student and faculty member. There were even spare chairs. Not like any school Lance had ever been to before. Though his only real exposure to boarding schools had been movies and TV shows.

Lance sat with Hunk and Pidge at one end of the table and quietly observed the teachers and students. Physically most of the mutants appeared to be physically human, but there were a small handful that had horns, armored plates, or wings. He tried not to stare at those students. He didn’t want to make them feel self conscious, or give them a reason to attack him.

“So you’re probably going to get evaluated tomorrow.” Said Pidge.

Lance looked up from his spaghetti and raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

They rolled their eyes. “Dude, you’re a mutant. Your powers are evaluated by Allura, Coran, and Adam. When they are satisfied with everything they will assign you a mentor to help you hone your skills. They gestured to an older woman, one of the teachers. “That’s Ryner. She’s my teacher and the science professor here. Non sentient bio manipulation is her power. She’s trying to teach me that biology is the same as computer programming and therefore the same as my powers.”

Hunk nodded in agreement and pointed to a large man who looked like he could crush a man’s head in his own hand. “Sal’s my mentor. His skin is as tough as steel. Also a really good cook.”

“Oh nice. Who do you think is going to be my mentor?” Asked Lance.

Pidge thought for a moment and crossed her arms. “Well… If I had to take a stab at it, judging from your abilities and what the student files have talked to me about… More than likely Shiro.”

Lance almost dropped his fork. He couldn’t have heard her correctly. Shiro was a legend in the mutant world and a huge step for equality. He was the head of the government’s mutant equality board and spearheaded campaigns to get the wider community to understand mutants and end the spread of fear and misinformation. Even back when Lance didn’t really think he was a mutant he thought Shiro was impressive. Who could forget his address to the nation when a pair of giant eagle wings sprouted from his back?

“Shiro is a mentor here?”

Hunk nodded. “Yep. Apparently he was one of the first that came here when the school was founded.”

“... Does this mean he comes here often to mentor other kids?”

Pidge shrugged. “That and to suck face with Adam.” She gestured to the student councillor dipping his finger into his cup of water to make an ice cube while he ate.

“Huh, alright.”

Hunk patted Lance’s back. “Good luck man. Getting Shiro as a mentor would be a huge badge of honour. As long as Pidge and I have been here, Shiro’s only ever mentored one other person.”

“Who?”

Pidge gestured to the other table. “Keith.” 

Lance was shocked. He looked over at Keith who was at the far end of the other table with one arm wrapped defensively around his food. He’d glace around every now and then and glare anyone down that might have been looking his way. It was like he was worried someone would steal his food.

“... Alright.” He still didn’t know how he felt about Keith. He was like some big, wild, purple cat. He just radiated this wild energy that gave Lance cause for concern. He was going to try and do his best to avoid the angry looking mutant.

***

The next day at breakfast Adam came over and asked him to come to his office when he was done. Hunk had to show him where he needed to go, but he wished him luck before he left. Lance knocked on the door and cautiously opened it. Adam gestured for him to sit in the chair in front of his desk, and Lance immediately did so.

The older male looked over some papers on his desk and scrolled through something on his laptop. “So Lance, how are you settling in?”

“Pretty good.”

“That’s good… How are you with firearms?”

“Sir?”

‘Hand guns, pistols, snipers. That kind of stuff.” Asked Adam. “Have you ever fired one?”

Lance quickly shook his head. “No. I don’t know the first thing about gun safety.”

“... Interesting.” Adam quickly typed something and nodded. “Alright. Come with me, Allura and Coran Are waiting for us.”

Lance followed Adam outside to where a target was set up. Allura and Coran were patiently waiting for them. Coran happily waved at them. “Hello lad! It’s nice to see you again. Everything going well? Getting along with Hunk?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Hunk’s cool. We get along great. Pidge is cool too.”

“Excellent.” Said Allura. She handed Lance a bow and arrow and pointed to the target. It was a standard three colour target with white at the edge, then black, blue, red, and yellow in the middle. “We want to see if your powers extend to target practice too. We’ll call out colours and you hit the target. Okay?”

“Sounds good to me.” With a quick bit of instruction on how to use a bow and arrow from Coran, Lance took a proper stance and waited for them to tell him what colour to shoot.

“Red.” Said Allura. “Blue. Yellow. Yellow. White. Black. White. Red. Yellow.”

Lance easily hit every colour as she called it. It was easy. Everyone seemed very impressed. Lance was just impressed that he could fire an arrow so well. When there were no more arrows to fire Coran happily patted his back.

“Well done. You hit everything Allura called.” He said.

Lance felt his face heat up a little and grinned. “Aw, thanks man. It wasn’t that impressive.”

“It was impressive.” Said a new voice. Lance froze and slowly turned around to see Shiro standing there next to Adan, grinning. Shiro was so much more impressive face to face. Lance knew he was quietly freaking out. The older mutant grinned at him and extended his hand. “Takashi Shirogane. You would be Lance, right?”

“Y-yeah.” He couldn’t believe that Shiro knew his name. This was so cool. Lance was quietly having a fanboy moment. He also almost lost it when he actually shook his hand.

Shiro grinned at him. “Well it looks like I’m going to be your mentor. How about we meet up at lunch and talk some more?”

Lance nodded. “Sure. Sounds cool. Yep. Totally awesome. Yep. Yeah.”

“Cool. Now if you excuse me, I have to find a rather angry purple menace.”

Lance nodded and watched as Shiro spread his wings and jumped into the air, quickly taking off and flying to the other side of the school. Adam scoffed. “Show off.”

***

Behind the school there was a large forest that was still owned by the school. Most students with more animalistic tendencies prefered the forest for various reasons. When they were out there, everyone followed the unspoken rule that they needed to avoid each other and should only interact with one another if it was time to go back to class. If they ever crossed paths they would just acknowledge each other and keep going about their business.

When Keith went to the forest it was to help burn off energy from previous training sessions. He could still feel the beast trying to claw its way out of his skin. He had too much energy and needed to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

So he took his aggression out on a tree. He slashed and hacked at the tree with his claws and teeth until his palms became slick with his own blood and his mouth started to taste like blood. He spat out a particularly large splinter and growled. He wasn’t angry any more, he was just frustrated now.

He heard something land in the trees, making his ears swivel. “What do you want, Shiro?”

The older mutant chuckled and jumped down from the tree he had landed in and tossed a small bottle out at Keith. “Here. Drink this and tell me what it is.”

Keith caught the bottle and looked down at it. It was small and filled with a red liquid. He rolled his eyes and quickly drank it, pulling a face. “Lizard. Multiple species… Why?”

“Some species can grow back their tails when they fall off.” He gestured to Keith’s face and claws. “All that. Fix it.”

Keith rolled his eyes and focused his energy on pushing the splinters out of his skin and repairing himself. Keith obviously was a mutant that had beast-like qualities, but he also had an ability he called blood copycat. He could copy some of the physical abilities and characteristics of animals he ate, or drank blood from. Allura had been able to get small samples of blood through her connections with people at the zoo for him to use in his training. He wondered if this ability made him some kind of vampire, but he didn’t really know any vampires that needed to drain a bat to fly.

“That’s better.” Said Shiro. He sat on a rock and patted the spot next to him. “I have something to tell you.”

Keith’s ears twitched in annoyance. More than likely Shiro would be telling him that he was going to be off over the other side of the world going government stuff. He sat down and waited for the inevitable disappointment. 

“I’m going to be mentoring another student at Allura’s request.”

“What?!” That was worse than Shiro being in another country. Their time together was already limited enough as it was, and now he had to share his mentoring time with someone else? No. This was not going to happen. “You said Allura asked you to. Turn them down. You don’t have to.”

“He has a lot of potential and I think he would be-”

“Who are they?” Growled Keith. “How old are they? Are they younger than me? Better than me? Do they look normal? Is that it? I’m not normal enough to be around you anymore? I-”

“Whoa! Slow down there Keith.” Said Shiro quickly. “Look. You have a good handle on your powers and this guy just needs a little guidance. He seems really well adjusted so he really just needs a few tips and pointers. It’s not like I’m going to drop you just because I’m mentoring someone else. All the regular teachers here have anywhere between three to give students they are mentoring at once. This isn’t going to change anything.”

Keith growled and dug his nails into his legs “Yeah, whatever. Go and hang out with the new kid. He’s probably less of a freak than I am.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and ruffled Keith’s hair. “Knock it off. I get that you have abandonment issues-”

“Fuck you.”

“-but I think you’re overreacting a little. Besides, I think you’ll like them.” 

“Doubt it.” Grumbled Keith.

Shiro rolled his eyes and stood up. “Come on. Let’s walk back. By the time we get there it’ll be lunch. Sal’s making chicken burgers for lunch. You like chicken, right?”

Keith grumbled and followed Shiro out of the forest and back to the mansion. By the time they got there it was lunchtime and kids were walking in to get food. When Shiro and Keith got their food they went and sat far away from everyone. Keith picked through his food and took off the tomato before he considered even bothering eating it.

“Still don’t like tomatoes?” Asked Shiro.

“Tomatoes are fucking gross.” Grumbled Keith. “Their seeds get stuck in between my teeth and they are kind of fuzzy. It’s nasty.”

Shiro shrugged and went to eat his food when he looked towards the door and waved. Keith ignored him. Shiro was a friendly guy. He was probably waving at another teacher or Adam. If it was Adam then Keith was going to slink away. Those two were gross when they started kissing and holding hands.

Suddenly an unfamiliar scent made its way to his nose and made Keith freeze. He didn’t like this. He sniffed the air again as his ears flattened against his head. No, it wasn’t unfamiliar. He knew this smell. He smelled it the other day… Oh no...

He looked up just in time to see the new kid put their tray down next to Shiro. Immediately Keith bared his teeth on instinct and moved his own tray closer to himself. The boy paused in the middle of taking out a chair so he could sit.

“Um… I can just go if you’re not comfortable…” 

Shiro shot Keith a look before looking back at the boy. “It’s fine Lance. Just sit here.” Lance gave Keith a cautious look, but did as Shiro told him to. Once he was seated Shiro decided to do introductions. “So Lance, this is Keith. His mutation is blood copycat. It’s a subcategory of shapeshifting. He can copy the physical abilities and characteristics of animal blood he digests.”

Lance seemed a little surprised. “Wait, so say if you ate a fish, you could theoretically grow gills?”

Keith rolled his eyes and ate his food. He didn’t want to talk to Lance or answer his stupid questions. He’d let Shiro do that. Shiro was the people person that could talk to anyone. He was just the freaky purple cat.

“He did grow gills.” Said Shiro. “Though he had to keep eating fish to keep them… It wasn’t a very good experiment… Though Keith does respond much better to feline and canine blood.”

“Huh, alright…”

“Yeah. Keith, this is Lance. He has perfect aim. It’s undetermined if his powers are physics based or if he can warp probability in his favour. Allura and Coran will probably come up with something to figure that out in the next few weeks.”

“Nice to meet you properly.” Said Lance.

Keith grunted and continued to eat. He didn’t care if Shiro gave him dirty looks. He didn’t want to share Shiro. Lance looked normal. He could make normal friends But he couldn’t. Keith was just… Keith.

He glared down at his food, almost wishing he could set it on fire. He instantly resented Lance, but didn’t really hate him. Lance didn’t smell like a bad person. Bad people usually had a weird smell about them that smelled like decay. Lance smelled like salt and sea spray… Which if he was honest it was part of the reason why he licked him. He only tasted a little like salt and he kind of liked it.

Eventually Shiro finished talking with Lance and smiled at the both of them. “So tomorrow after class we’re going to meet at the fountain outside. Okay?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

“What about you Keith?” Asked Shiro.

He shrugged. “Whatever.” He shouldn’t be this angry at Lance. He was a good person and he was stupid thinking that he was special or important to Shiro. He had to get over himself. He suddenly lost his appetite. He stood up and dumped his half eaten burger in the bin before he went back to his room to sulk. He wasn’t the best at his emotions and would probably end up with a visit from Shiro or Adam later that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have three chapters ready to go for tomorrow, so what would you guys like to see next?
> 
> Incubus AU  
> Royal AU  
> Camboys AU


	43. Puppet (Incubus AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to do a big chapter dump today since everyone seemed to want all three AUs evenly. So yeah, I'll be posting the royal and camboys au over the next few hours. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Through the whole week Keith had been fully conscious and aware of what was happening around him. He was fully aware that Shiro was doing his best to take care of him. He even got him his hippo. He was happy he did that, but Keith wanted to know what happened to Lance. During the time his body was hijacked he heard the other demons talking to them about Lance. Allura said he was still alive.

He really wanted that to be the case. He wanted Lance. He needed Lance. But he had no idea how to find Lance. Lance was somewhere near him, he was pretty sure. He just didn’t know where. If he could contact those other other demons he might have a chance of finding Lance. He needed to know he was okay.

But he was completely locked out of his body. He didn’t know what he could do. All he had was his mind. For the next three nights after his body had been used by the demons Keith laid awake in his bed when Shiro was gone and thought about the names of the demons in his head until he fell asleep. He only realised he had fallen asleep when he’d be woken up the next day when Shiro picked him up in the morning.

On the third night though he felt the temperature in the room dropping and his mind became foggy. His body started moving on its own and he was walking towards a mirror that was on the wall. It was a surreal feeling to see his body moving on its own with his eyes being a bright blue colour. Practically the colour of the sky.

They smirked at their reflection and started speaking in a posh British accent. “Well aren’t you a strange one? Actually calling for a demon to come back to you? Hunk and Pidge thought their conduits were broken when they heard little mouse whispers. Now I am here. What is it you want?” Keith tried to move his own mouth, but found he couldn’t. The woman tisked and rolled her eyes. “Use your mind. Your thoughts. I can hear you if you think it.” She tapped their forehead.

_Like this?_

“Yes. Just like that.” Said the demon with a happy smile. “So, you may call me Allura. You would be Keith, correct?”

_Yeah. I’m Keith… Are you really Lance’s ex?_

They chuckled and lightly brushed some of their hair away from their face. “Yes. I know. Shocking. What would I, Allura, be doing with him? Big dick and amazing oral skills. But you would probably know that already, right?”

_Th-that’s inappropriate!_

Allura chuckled and grinned. “Sorry. Demons really do like getting a rise out of humans. But I see you are a very special human to Lance.” They wiggled their fingers and grinned. “Such a pretty ring. Humans exchange rings to visually show they are mates for life, correct?”

_... Are you mad at me?_

“Is this because I am Lance’s ex?” Asked Allura. “Not in the slightest. Lance and I weren’t interested in becoming a mating pair. We were just having fun fooling around until we got bored of it. Lance decided he wanted to find his soulmate around the end of our relationship and I guess that’s you?”

_I… I um… Are soulmates real things?_

Allura shrugged and twirled some of Keith’s hair around her finger. “A fair few demons believe in it. Though it is most prevalent among sex demons. Anyway, you want to find Lance, right?”

_Yes. I need him._

Allura smiled kindly at him through the mirror. “Okay. I can help you, but I am going to bring Pidge and Hunk in on this too… You might get a pretty bad headache though… It’s one thing to have one demon speaking through you as a conduit, but three? Well… You might start bleeding out of your nose… And you’ll probably be tired in the morning...”

_Just do it. I need Lance… I’d rather be dead than live without him._

“Alright. Let’s get this call all set up.” Allura walked back to the bed and sat back down. “Pidge? Hunk? Are you there?”

Keith’s mind quickly felt foggy and heavy. He felt sick. He felt like weights were being pressed down on his body. His body shuddered and he felt his skin crawl as a different voice pushed out of his throat. “What’s happening?” Grumbled Pidge. “I’m trying to get some work done.”

“What’s up?” Asked Hunk.

“Lance’s conduit is his soulmate.” Said Allura. “His name is Keith and they are married. Say hi to everyone.”

_Hi..._

Hunk gasped. “You two are soulmates? So that’s what Lance was doing! Oh man, we have to meet up in real life some day!”

“How the fuck did he make a human his conduit?” Asked Pidge.

_... I was sick. He gave me his heart and took mine. If I didn’t I would have died..._

He felt himself tear up a little and sniffle, though it wasn’t him that was doing it. “Oh man…” Sniffled Hunk. “Lance… that stupid, kind, stupid demon…”

His sniffling instantly stopped. “Well that explains why a damn human is his conduit.” Said Pidge. They cracked Keith’s knuckles and he could feel his face twist into a smirk. “Alright Keith. Here is how it’s going to work. I’m the brains of the operation. Hunk’s going to deal with most of the logistics. Allura’s the people person… Then there is you.”

_Yes? What can I do?_

Hunk chuckled a little. “It’s pretty obvious buddy. You’re the one that’s going to have to do all the heavy lifting. Sorry buddy but we have limited range in the human world. We can make you a little stronger, but we can’t do anything too crazy…”

“Also,” interrupted Allura. “If Lance is being held anywhere particularly nasty with charms to keep us away, we will have to leave and you will be on your own. Do you think you can do that?”

_I can hardly move my own body..._

“Paralized?” Asked Pidge. “Catatonic? What?”

_Everyone is saying I’m catatonic. Does your mind still work when you’re catatonic?_

“Not a clue.” Said Pidge. “Okay, I’ll work on something to fix that… I have a book somewhere… Okay. We’ll be working on this over the next few days. Think you can handle us peeking in every now and then to snoop around Keith?”

_I’m okay with that… I want to find Lance. My husband… My... my soulmate._

Allura smiled and clapped her hands. “Excellent. Well, now that we are all on the same page, let’s find Lance.”

***

Shiro wasn’t sure if this was a good sign or not after all the bullshit with Keith being used as a phone by some demons, but Keith was starting to twitch. It was very subtle, but he would occasionally move his foot or his fingers would twitch and knock his hippo out of his lap. He hoped it was a sign of progress, but he doubted it. 

He took Keith outside and wheeled him to a shady area. The weather was nice and he hoped that this would help him. Shiro gently put his hand on Keith’s arm and squeezed. “Hey… When we get out of here do you want to go to the zoo? There is a zoo near here and they have some pygmy hippos. You still like hippos, right?”

A breeze blew over them and pushed some of Keith’s hair into his eyes. Shiro brushed it out of his eyes and took a hair clip out and very carefully pinned Keith’s hair out of his face. He gently tilted Keith’s head up and frowned slightly. He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked a little malnourished. He would see if he could get some more food for Keith to eat. He needed it.

“... Is the mattress uncomfortable?” He asked. “Are you not sleeping well? … I’ll try and get a better one for you. Are you okay with that?” Keith’s lip twitched a little. It made Shiro smile a little. He was still there. He was still trying. He was trying to communicate with him.

“Shiro, can I talk to you for a second?” Called Kolivan from the doorway.

Shiro made sure that the breaks were on the wheelchair before he walked over to the man. “Yeah?”

“He hasn’t made much progress, has he?”

“He’s twitching a little…”

“But he isn’t verbally communicating.” Said Kolivan. “... Look, there is a nice home you can send Keith to near where your house is. We have papers forged and we will fund Keith’s stay there. He needs twenty four hour care and he needs to leave here… Lance’s remains are still within the headquarters and might be affecting him.”

Shiro frowned a little and looked over at Keith. A crow was pecking around his feet and cawing up at him. “... Thank you for what you’ve done for us. How soon can you get us away from this place?”

“Three days.” Said Kolivan. “If something happens and Keith is able to speak again we will need to talk to him about his experiences with the demon.”

“I know. Thank you.”

Shiro walked over to where Keith was and shooed the crow away. It mostly ignored him and pecked at the ground “... I was just speaking to Kolivan. In three days we’re going to go somewhere else… Someplace nicer. I’m sure you will like it there. You’ll be able to get better and you won’t have to deal with that demon anymore. Sounds nice, right?”

The crow suddenly let out a strangled cry and fell to the ground. Shiro raised an eyebrow and poked the bird with a stick. It wasn’t moving. It looked like it just dropped dead.

“... Let’s go inside…” Shiro quickly wheeled the man back inside the building. However, if he stayed outside for a few moments longer he would have noticed the crow was rapidly decomposing. 

***

“So we only have three days huh?” Asked Pidge as they quietly walked down the hallway that night. They were trying to keep things quiet as they attempted to find Lance. They had searched every room on the upper floors and now they were going down into the basement areas.

_We will find him. I can’t live without him._

“That’s the power of soulmates for you.” Mused Allura. “Well, I for one am happy that we are close to finding him.”

“This place is pretty spooky…” Muttered Hunk. “I’m not sure I like it.” Keith started coughing, collecting droplets of blood in his hand. “Are you okay Buddy? We can go back to bed if you like? You’re already straining your body enough as it is.”

_I’m fine. Really. I just need to find Lance._

“Are you sure?” Asked Hunk. “You don’t need to push-”

“He wants to.” Said Pidge. “Just let him do this.”

They got to the bottom of the stairs and could distinctly smell stale blood. It made Keith feel a little nauseous but his body kept moving forward. They walked to a door and very slowly opened it, unsure if any one was out at the moment.

When they deemed that no one was inside, they pushed the door open and walked inside. The best way to describe the place they stumbled into would be a dungeon or totrue chamber. There were old bloodied hooks hanging from the ceiling, chains on the walls, stacks of animal cages, silver tipped axes and spears hung in racks. There were so many other torture devices, but Keith didn’t know what they were called.

“These humans are fucked…” Muttered Pidge. They reached out with Keith’s hand and ran it across a stone table. It was tilted slightly and had a groove in it running along the edges.

“This looks sacrificial.” Muttered Allura in disgust. “I bet they tried to bleed demons out here. Look, there’s a place to collect the blood.” Keith watched as Allura ran his fingers through one of the grooves. It was dry. 

They continued to walk around the room. The demons commented on what they were seeing and what they might be able to use to find Lance. Keith just turned it out. He wasn’t really paying attention to them. He just wanted to see Lance again. Sure he was a demon and all, but Keith really didn’t know how to live without him. Lance was his whole world. If he couldn’t be with Lance anymore then maybe it would be better if he just died?

He heard something shift behind one of the heavily locked doors. _There..._

“What was that Buddy?” Asked Hunk.

_Lance is there. Behind that door._

They looked over at a door with a sigil and runes carved into it. Allura huffed and crossed their arms. “Well… This is tricky… Keith, this a demon repelling charm. When we are talking through you we can’t open it. It will burn your hands. If he really is behind this door we will have to leave and you’ll have to do it.” Said Allura calmly. “Can you still not move your body yet?”

_No… I’m still pretty useless… I’m sorry..._

“Don’t feel bad man.” Said Hunk quickly. “We’ll figure something else out. I promise.”

“Yeah, just give me a day to figure this shit out.” Said Pidge. “Someone needs to pilot Keith back to bed. I’m out.”

“I’ll take him back.” Said Allura. “You two can go now.”

“Okay. Later guys.” Siad Pidge.

“We’ll figure this out Keith.” Said Hunk.

Soon Keith was just left with Allura in his head. She very carefully walked back to Keith’s room, very carefully ducking and hiding in the shadows. Eventually they got back and Allura climbed into the bed and hummed happily.

“... Hey Keith? Can I ask you something?

_Yeah?_

“Do you really love Lance? Just because you are soulmates doesn’t mean you have to be in love with him.”

_I… I love him. I can’t live without him. If I can’t be without Lance. I need him._

“Okay.” Said Allura softly. “You get some sleep now. There are only a few hours until morning. Goodnight Keith.”

 _Goodnight Allura._ Keith shuddered a little as cold washed over his body and he was all alone again. He sighed and closed his eyes. He needed to start moving again before Shiro took him away. He was sure that they could probably help him get back here if he needed to, but he didn’t want to have to walk all the way back here. He’d find Lance soon. 

He vowed that he would protect him just like the demon had done for. He was a good boy. He was a good boy for Lance. He needed Lance. Lance needed him. He was his husband and this was what husbands do, right? They look after each other.


	44. Moving castles (Royal AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next part in my fic dump tonight... But I'm feeling good and I love you all, I might post the first part of a new au tonight as well. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Once the majority of the aristocracy had stopped having massive hangovers, the occupants of the castle started to make preparations for Allura and Lotor to leave to go back to Diabazzel. Yurak was more than ready to go back home, but he would be lying if he were to say that he wouldn’t miss the planet completely. He kind of liked hanging out with the Altean court jester. Lance was funny.

He and Shiro were standing around the front steps of the castle as they watched the Alteans were cramming all of Allura’s stuff into a cargo shuttle. It was interesting to see how many trunks of clothes she had. Apparently a lot of the boxes were full of traditional poofy dresses. Explained why they needed seven different trunks.

“That’s a lot of stuff.” Mused Shiro.

“Yeah… Have no idea why they need so much stuff. Oh well.” Yurak yawned as his ears flattened against his head and twitched. “So, how did things go with you and Adam? Did you get laid?”

Shiro’s fur puffed up and looked away, very embarrassed. “There were slight… complications.”

Yurak raised an eyebrow. “Too big? Altean’s don’t have knots?”

Shiro groaned in embarrassment. “More like we figured out that Altean’s skin isn’t as thick as a Galras… I kind of scratched him up a bit… And yeah, Altean’s don’t have knots.”

“Huh… Is Adam okay?”

“He’s a little pissed at me, but over all he’s fine.” Said Shiro. “Hopefully travel between us and Altea will now be more frequent. I’d really like to come here more often… or have Adam visit us.”

Yurak shrugged. “Give it time. Should be able to travel between kingdoms within half a deca-phoebe.”

“Heard it’s gonna be closer to a deca-phoebe.” Said Lance as he seemingly popped out of nowhere.

Yurak puffed up and jumped back into Shiro. “Don’t do that damn it!”

Lance snickered and grinned. “Sorry about that. Just thought I’d come back and see what you guys were talking about. By the way can I get your data code?”

“Huh? Why?” Asked Yurak.

Lance shrugged and took out his datapad. “I thought you were pretty cool and thought it would be nice to call you up sometime… But I get it if you have some kind of social rule thing about keeping in contact with someone like me. I mean, I’m not royalty or anything so…”

“There aren’t such rules.” Said Shiro. He lightly nudged Yurak and grinned. “I’m sure Zarkon would be pleased to know that you’re making friends with Altean’s.”

Yurak flattened his ears against his head and took Lance’s datapad off him and quickly inputted his data code. He made sure to save it under Duke Yurak. “There.”

Lance grinned and happily sent Yurak a quick message. “There. Now you have my data code too.”

“Cool.”

Lance grinned. “Yeah. So did you two like your time on Altea? Like, you didn’t get to see much of it and all… But did you like it?”

“It was lovely.” Said Shiro. “I hope to see more of it in the future.”

Lance smiled and held up his datapad. “Can I get your data code too? I’ll send you a few locations that you might like?”

“Sure.” Shiro handed over the datapad and Lance quickly added him.

“Thanks man. Maybe you can send me some stuff about Diabazzel?” Asked Lance. “I’d really like to learn more about your planet and people.”

“Can do.”

Lance grinned. “Awesome. I’d appreciate it.”

Allura walks over to them, wearing a much more casual, yet still regal dress. “Duke Yurak. Shiro. Lance.” She greeted. Yurak bowed along with Shiro as they greeted her. Lance did an over exaggerated bow, practically falling to one knee as he did so. She chuckled. “I’m sorry I didn’t have much time to talk to you during the reception. I was a little preoccupied with prior engagements.”

“It’s understandable.” Said Shiro. “We are both humbled that you would consider speaking with us at all on your wedding day. We both enjoyed the festivities.”

Allura smiled at him. “Thank you so much. I was worried that the wedding might not be to your tastes. I did ask my father to incorporate more Galra elements, but apparently both our fathers agreed to a fully Altean ceremony. Lotor wasn’t very comfortable with it…”

Yurak shrugged. “Well Galra are more private. It was still very nice and we are glad that you allowed us to be a part of it. If you need any help adapting to Galra culture please do not hesitate to call on us. We will do our best.”

Allura seemed a little surprised but smiled warmly and bowed slightly at him. “Thank you so much. That means a lot to me.” He looked over at Lance and grinned. “Well, so things are going to be different from now on, huh?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. It’s gonna be so weird not making any jokes about the losers that had no chance with you anymore. I had so much fun calling them out.”

“Well you’re going to have to find new material.”

“I know… But I am lazy!” He whined before dramatically collapsing on the stairs. “It’s soooooo much effort!”

Allura rolled her eyes and lightly nudged him with her shoe. “Are you done being dramatic?”

“Never!”

“Did you pack your bags?” 

“Done and done.”

Yurak tilted his head. “Huh?”

Allura sighed and nudged Lance again. “Romelle, my bride’s maid and lady in waiting, is coming with me when we go to Diabazzel. I also wanted Lance to come along for a few movements. Maybe a phoeb or two.”

“That’s right!” Said Lance as he stood back up. “Romelle is staying long term, but I’m just gonna make sure everything is all good and stuff before coming back. Consider me a diplomate.”

Yurak looked between Lance and Allura. “... Yeah, our kingdoms are probably going to go to war again if you consider Lance a diplomate.”

Lance gasped in shock while Allura chuckled. “It’s diplomate in name alone. He has no real power.”

Lance pouted. “Why can’t you just let me pretend I have some power rather than no power?”

“Lance, you can call my father a twat to his face in front of the court without getting punched in the face by a guard.” Said Allura. “You have more power than you think.”

“... Fair point.” He looked over at Yurak and grinned. “How long until I get turned into an Altean sword holder?”

“Five ticks.”

“Ah! I would survive at least six ticks!”

***

Lance was very excited to go to Diabazzel. Sure it had already been decided before the marriage, so Lance couldn’t say it was unexpected. But it was so excited. He was happily bouncing in his seat the whole way there. He just couldn’t. He’d always wanted to travel, but he couldn’t really do it since he was working pretty much every night.

This was like his vacation. The best vacation ever. He wondered what the palace would be like? Hell he wondered what his accommodation would be like? He wasn’t expecting anything fancy. Just something nice really.

The Diabazzel castle was a lot darker than the Altean castle. For one the stones some to be made of some kind of obsidian material with a slight purple tinge. It was pretty and he really, really liked it. The people there on the other hand… That was a slightly different story. Everyone seemed so stoic and serious. 

Contrary to popular belief, Lance did not want to get his ass kicked by every damn Galra in the castle. So he kept his mouth shut as he stood by Romelle and bowed as he was introduced to the aristocrats he was introduced to. Lance was more than happy to keep his mouth shut as Allura shared in small talk with the Lords and Ladies of the Galra court.

They seemed to approve of her and of Romelle, but they didn’t seem to care too much for Lance. He wasn’t very surprised. He was introduced as the Royal Altean Jester. They must have dismissed him because he was a fool with no real power. As far as they were concerned he was probably just entertainment for them. 

They were taken inside and Allura was taken to the bed chambers where she and Lotor would be spending their time. Romelle had the bedchambers across from them and Lance had bedchambers a few doors down from them. It was far fancier than anywhere that Lance had ever stayed before.

Lotor was nice enough to make sure that Lance and Romelle were settled in. “Is the room to your liking?” Asked the Prince.

Lance grinned and nodded as he sat on the bed. “Yeah. This room is pretty neat. I like it. So… Any rules? What do I do not to get killed?”

Lotor chuckled in amusement. “You should be fine going to most places. Just be a little cautious around the other Galra. Galra do not tend to like disrespect so your brand of humour could be labeled as disrespect.”

“Ah, fair enough.” Lance hummed a little as he drummed his fingers on his leg. “Would it be okay if I go and visit Yurak tomorrow?”

Lotor seemed a little surprised but nodded. “If you wish. Verpzar isn’t very far away from the castle… Would you like me to inform Yurak of your visit?”

Lance shook his head. “I have his data code. I can give him a call myself.”

“As you wish. I will send someone for you when it is time to eat… Just to clarify, Alteans prefer a more vegetable based diet?”

“Yep.”

Lotor nodded and had a thoughtful look on his face. “Alright. I will let you make the arrangements if that is what you wish.”

“Thanks Lotor.” When Lotor left his room, Lance happily pulled up his datapad and called Yurak up. He was very happy when Yurak accepted the call. The young Duke’s hair was very messy and slightly damp. He looked like he might have just gotten out of a bath. “Well, hello there Yurak.”

The Duke’s ear twitched slightly. _“Yeah? What’s up?”_ He started patting down his face and neck with a towel.

Lance shrugged. “So like, can I come over?”

Yurak raised an eyebrow. _“Hmm? You actually want to come over?”_

“Yeah. Like, I think I said if I ever came to Diabazzel I’d like to visit Verpzar, since you’re the Duke of it.” Said Lance with a smile. “Unless you have some Duke duties to attend to?”

He shrugged. _“Not really. I have a few documents to read and stamp, but I feel like it shouldn’t take more than a varga or two to read and rubber stamp. Things are fine.”_

Lance couldn’t help but grin. “Awesome. I’ll try to come over in the afternoon? Is that good with you?”

Yurak nodded. _“Yeah, if you like. That’ll be nice… Just get Lotor to have someone drop you off and I’ll have someone meet you at the door.”_

“Cool. Any dress requirements?”

 _“...?”_ Yurak tilted his head and twitched his ears a few times in flight confusion. _“You expecting to go dancing or something?Just wearing something comfortable. As long as you aren’t flashing your dick or butt anything you feel comfortable in is fine.”_

“Awesome. See you tomorrow afternoon Yurak.” Said Lance with a grin.

_“Okay. See you then.”_

Lance grinned and ended the call. He was happy that Yurak would let him come over. It would be a lot more fun hanging around Yurak rather than a bunch of strange Galra that would probably kill him if he greeted them wrong.


	45. Livestream (Camboys AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lord... This chapter earns the E rating. Lance is a horny boy but the people watching the livestream are thirsty af lol. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After a wonderfully warm bath and some sweet time prepping his butt for the night ahead. It was going to be fun. Lance always enjoyed it when someone sent him anything. He had a short wish list of stuff that he thought was interesting, or stuff he knew he couldn’t afford. He always felt special when he got something from his fans. It made him feel appreciated.

He did his hair and makeup, making himself look exceptionally cute. He even put on some bright blue lipstick too, even though that was going to get covered up by his ocean themed face mask. Knowing that RedDesert might be on that night, he wore bright blue fingerless lace gloves, a pretty blue garter belt, pretty nylon stockings and a cute lace thong. Red always complimented him a lot when he wore lots of lace.

He smiled and looked at himself in the mirror and marveled at his appearance. He looked cute but it could be better. He looked through his desk drawer and found what he was looking for. He had honestly just bought these on a whim. Ocean themed nipple pasties. It was mostly shells and starfish. He peeled off two starfish and carefully stuck them to his chest.

When he decided he looked presentable enough he got onto his computer and made sure his voice changer was working. He made his voice just that little bit more femainine and stereotypically gay sounding. The people that watched him ate that shit up. It was part of the attraction. 

He happily sent out a notification that he was going to start in five minutes. He took the time to pee one more time, grab a bottle of water out of the fridge and quadruple check to make sure no one could see anything that could identify him. There wasn’t.

When he was sure everything was ready, he happily sat on the floor and started. He was very pleased to see he already had a small audience of about twenty. He happily batted his eyelashes at the camera.

“Hey everyone. I’m really excited you could join me on my live stream tonight.” He almost purred. “So before we get unboxing, how about we talk a little. Don’t worry. No more than about five minutes. Just so any straggles can catch up.” 

He looked at the chat window and grinned when he saw people were already complimenting him on his looks. Telling him he looked so pretty and asking for a full body shot. They’d get a good look at his body later.

**Awesome_Username**   
_What did you get up to today cutie?_

Lance hummed happily as he read through the messages. “Mostly work. My boss is an asshole. But let’s face it, most bosses are.”

**JajaBonks**   
_You into oral?_

“Yeah, I like oral.” Said Lance. “I kind of like how dizzy I get when I’m choking on a thick one. I guess I kind of like a bit of autoerotic asphyxiation?” He giggled. “I’m a kinky kind of guy. Can’t help it. I wish I had someone to fill me up with their cock and cum in me. Love getting my dick sucked too.”

**Yeetus_DaFoetus**   
_Ever thought about finding a Dom or a Sugar Daddy? Maybe just a Daddy? ;)_

Lance shook his head. “Nice idea and all… But not really. Despite being hornier than a jackrabbit in Spring, I’m a little picky with who I fuck… And no I’m not picky about dick size. It’s a personality thing.” Lance hummed happily and flipped some of the wig hair off his shoulder. “I’m not the same person off camera as I am on camera. I got responsibilities and can’t just be a hot guy’s dick warmer all day every day… Though that does sound fun…”

**Nixnoxnux**   
_Sit on my face._

“Only if you don’t have facial hair.” Said Lance with a grin. “Sorry guys, bit it tickles too much and it totally kills the mood for me.” He looked around for his scissors and picked up, pulling over the smaller of the three boxes. He was about to start opening them when he glanced at the screen and blushed slightly.

**RedDesert**   
_Hey Ocean. Have fun tonight. I’ll be watching ;)_

He cleared his throat. “A-anyway. I’ll start unboxing now. I wanna see what you guys sent me.” He carefully opened up the first box and grinned when he pulled out a sizable, blue metallic butt plug. “Well isn’t this pretty. I think I’m going to end up with a collection of these things.” He held it up so the camera got it in focus. “What do you guys think? I think it’s pretty.”

**Nixnoxnux**   
_Stick it in your butt_

**NotAPornbot**   
_Damn, that’s gonna look so pretty in that booty of yours_

**Nixnoxnux**   
_In your butt. Now. Plz!!!_

Lance grinned and flipped it over to look at the base. It had a bright turquoise gemstone set in it. “You guys are really nice playing along with my colour scheme. That’s so sweet of you. But we’re not going to be playing around just yet. I wanna see what else you got for me.”

He looked through the box and found a string of golf ball sized pastel blue anal beads. Lance loved pastel colours. If he hadn’t gone with the ocean theme he would have gone with pastel. He happily held them up for the camera and grinned when he saw all the nice compliments he was getting. He was starting to get tips from people. It was like he was teasing them and slowly edging them on.

He opened up the second box and almost snorted in laughter when he was met with a big, fluffy light blue foxtail with a dark blue tip. He had kind of just added this to his wish list on a whim and wasn’t too sure if he could get it in blue since he’s mostly seen natural colours.

“Yeah, looks like I’m starting a butt plug collection at this rate.” He also took out a pair of aqua vibrating nipple clamps. Lance couldn’t help but hold them up to his chest, even if they were covered by his starfish pasties.

**JajaBonks**   
_You’re into nipple play?_

“I like to experiment.” Replied Lance. “I do like a little pulling and sucking. My chest isn’t overly sensitive, but it does feel kind of nice to me.”

He glanced at his view count and he was now in the low thirties. He was happy to see that. He had way more views then he did last time. He was also getting a few more tips too then he did last time. He’d already made $50 from showing off his sex toys. It was pretty exciting.

Lance smiled and happily pulled the box over and grinned at the camera, even though he knew they couldn’t see it. “Anyway, last box for tonight. Then we’ll see how badly you want me to use them.”

**JajaBonks**   
_*Tipped $20*_

**Nixnoxnux**   
_*Tipped $15*_

**Yeetus_DaFoetus**   
_I’ll give you $50 right now if you open the last box while using those nipple clamps. ___

__**Awesome_Username**   
_Your cute butt is gonna look so cute with that little fox tail._ _ _

__**Nixnoxnux**   
_Your ass is so fucking cute_ _ _

__He opened up the last package and gasped slightly. Unlike everything else that had been sent to him that was coloured various shades of blue and aqua to fit his ocean aesthetic, this dildo was bright red, fading to black at the base. From base to tip it had to be as tall as a ruler and the thickest part had to be the middle. Almost as thick as a beer can. He gently squeezed it, and groaned at how firm it was and how nice the texture felt under his thumbs._ _

__“Hmm, I have a feeling I know who sent me something this thick and red.” Mused Lance. “Do you want me to think of you whenever I use this or something? If it feels just as amazing as it looks, I just might. But next time babe, go with blue. I have an aesthetic going on here cutie.”_ _

__He hoped that Red was still watching and he heard that. He wanted to show Red how much he appreciated it… But he’d have to work up to it. He couldn’t just sit on it and go to town or he’d be in so much pain the next day. Stretching was important._ _

__Lance grinned and put it down in front of the webcam. He giggled a little and carefully pulled it to the side and let it spring back up. Now it was time for the main attraction. He stood back and let everyone have a good look at what he was wearing. The complements and horny comments just started rolling in now, and so were some of the tips._ _

__“Aw, glad you all like my clothes. I think it looks nice. Do you like how I look? Blue is totally my colour.” He happily winked at them and wiggled his hips. When I get a total of $200 in tips I’ll start using my new toys for you all.”_ _

__**Awesome_Username**   
_*Tipped $40*_ _ _

__**JajaBonks**   
_*Tipped $30*_ _ _

__**WumbleBumble**   
_*Tipped $50*_ _ _

__“... Well aren’t you all eager to watch me play with my new toys.” Said Lance with a grin._ _

__He was more than happy to peel off the starfish pasties and use the vibrating nipple clamps on himself. He moaned a little louder than he normally would, playing it up for his audience. It did feel good but it wasn’t anything earth shattering. The tips continued to flow in and he eventually made an easy $300._ _

__Lance kept them on and quickly moved on to using the anal beads. Someone gave him $150 to keep his thong on while he stretched himself. He didn’t have to fake moaning with these ones. He loved the attention he was getting from all the viewers. He glanced over to see his tips so far. He was close to $500. His goal was to make $1000 to pay for his half of the rent this month. It looked like he was going to smash it. Time to kick it up a notch._ _

__He happily put the foxtail in and swayed his hips. “Do I look cute?” He asked his audience. “Do I look sexy? Am I a cute ocean fox?”_ _

__**JajaBonks**   
_Sexiest damn fox ever_ _ _

__**Nixnoxnux**   
_*Tipped $55*_ _ _

__**WumbleBumble**   
_*Tipped $80*_ _ _

__**Awesome_Username**   
_You have the sexiest ass ever_ _ _

__**Yeetus_DaFoetus**   
_*Tipped $40*_ _ _

__**NotAPornbot**   
_Such a sexy fox. You’d look so cute in a bikini._ _ _

__**WumbleBumble**   
_You’re such a naughty fox_ _ _

__**JajaBonks**   
_*Tipped $90*_ _ _

__When he felt like he was done teasing his audience he decided to give them what they wanted. He planted his new red toy front and center as he started to drizzle lube down it. He immediately got an influx of hundred dollar tips._ _

__When he felt like he was ready and readjusted the camera to get the best view, Lance slowly lowered himself onto it. He sighed and relaxed as his body slowly stretched to accommodate the size of what was quickly becoming his new favourite toy. He was only halfway down it but he already felt so damn full._ _

__“Fuck, this feels amazing…” He moaned. “Feels so fucking good to have my ass opened up like this, fuck…” Lance slowly paced himself as he rolled his hips and took in more of the toy._ _

__He gasped and whined when he felt it rub against his prostate. Lance moaned and ran his hands along his stomach, feeling where his stomach bulged, right behind his proud, leaking cock. He usually got more views if he was able to cum hands free and he was sure that Red would give him a big tip if he came hands free on the big red cock he gave him._ _

__He closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the moment. As he ran his hands over his body he imagined RedDesert’s hands touching him. Telling him he was such a good whore for him. Putting on a good show. Everyone could see what a slut he was, but none of them could touch him the way that Red and his thick cock could._ _

__Lance shuddered as he fully seated himself on the silicone and came all over his stomach, hands free. The tips started rolling in again for that money shot. Time to ham it up again and really milk all his horny viewers for all they were worth._ _

__He ran his fingers over his stomach, collecting some of his cum on his finger. “Hmmm, that was so good… It gets harder and harder to cum without getting something thick shoved up my ass. Eventually I don’t think I’ll be able to cum with just jerking off. Need a big, strong man to hold me down and use me… Maybe I should get a fuck machine?”_ _

__Really milking it like that had paid off. He’d really doubled his goal of $1000. He had a nice group of pervy fans. Maybe some of them would get him a fuck machine if he added it to his wish list? Something he’s probably consider at some point._ _

__He checked the chat and smirked when people were asking to see how destroyed his ass was. However Lance was way too lazy to get off his ass and take it out at the moment. “Take it out? Nah, sorry everyone but the stretch is way too nice. I’m keeping Red inside me all night. Yes I named it Red. What else am I gonna call a giant red dildo? Red Hulk? Clifford? Well if it had a knot in it I might call it Clifford, but that’s beside the point.” He blew a kiss to his audience. “Hope you cuties had as much fun watching me as I had fun entertaining you. Red and I are gonna go to bed now. Night.”_ _

__He ended the live stream and sat still for a moment as he read some of his chat. Just the remaining few that were there were complimenting him and talking about how hot and sexy he was. How they wanted to fuck him and show him how good a real dick was. Those kinds of comments always made him chuckle. He was about to turn off everything and go to bed when he saw what he wanted to see._ _

__**RedDesert**   
_*Tipped $800*_ _ _

__Good old Red. He didn’t really interact with his streams, but he always donated near the end. Lance liked to think that he had his hands full during his streams. He liked being the only one on Red’s mind for the duration of his streams. He wondered if Red would tell him what city he lived closest to if he asked? They had been talking to each other for months. It shouldn’t be that weird. But he didn’t want to make it weird. Red was a genuinely funny guy. Charming, witty, and didn’t seem like all he wanted was sex._ _

__With a slight hip rotation and some effort on Lance’s part he managed to pull himself off of his new favourite toy and groaned at sensation of feeling so empty after such a good stretch and fuck._ _

__His phone suddenly pingged and Lance quickly grabbed it. He hoped that RedDesert was messaging him, but was surprised to see it was Shiro. He and his neighbours were pretty friendly with each other so they exchanged numbers ages ago for emergency reasons. Shiro and Hunk used this privilege to invite the other household over for BBQs mostly. Tonight was no exception._ _

__**Shiro**   
_Adam and Curtus want to have a BBQ tomorrow. You want in?_ _ _

__**Lance**   
_Sure_   
_I can bring over some tamales if you like?_ _ _

__**Shiro**   
_Sounds good to me_ _ _

__**Lance**   
_Cool. See you there._ _ _

__Lance tossed his phone aside and huffed. He was tired but he needed to clean up before he could lay down and forget about the world… He also needed to figure out where to put red. In his closet or under his bed? Too many options._ _

__***_ _

__Keith was blushing like mad as he did his best to clean himself up. OceanQueen5 never failed to deliver, and they did get their gift. That dildo was pretty expensive but it was so worth it. Ocean road it like he was made to do it. Then he called it red. That’s not even mentioning how he called him out on buying it for him._ _

__Ocean was going to be the end of him. He was too hot for his own good. Damn it. Damn him. Damn everything. He had the cutest ass and the way he was moaning was just… Well Keith was going to sleep well tonight._ _

__Keith sighed heavily as he settled into bed. He hated how quiet he had to be. He was not used to it. He wasn’t very loud, but he was loud enough. He groaned in annoyance and shoved his face into his pillow._ _

__Maybe he should text OceanQueen5? Tell him to actually take that dildo out of his ass? He wasn’t really going to sleep with that in his ass all night, was he? He hoped not. Keith sighed and groaned even louder. He kind of wished that he was the one screwing Ocean and not a limp of silicone. If Ocean wanted to he could probably do this full time if he wanted. Everyone that was watching them probably wanted him too._ _

__Keith rolled onto his stomach and huffed. He’d talk to Ocean later tomorrow about stuff. Tell him to sit on some ice or something. Anything for Ocean’s poor ass. He would need it._ _


	46. Summoning (witch AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter I'm uploading for this chapter dump. It's a new au and I used the ye old English spelling of witch because it's apparently a gender neutral spelling or something like that. idk. I honestly didn't look too much into it. Anyway, kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Today was a very special day for Keith. It was the day every young wicche dreamed of. He had finished his final studies, earned his title, and would be sent out to work with his familiar. The animal that would help him with his job. Keith had high hopes for his familiar. He hoped for a wolf or a panther, but if he could summon some high ranking magical creature he hoped for a dragon. That would really help the young fire wicche out.

The young wicche waited patiently outside the summoning room with other wicche’s. They were all waiting for their names to be called so they could enter the room and summon their familiar. Keith was excited. He watched as the other wicche’s walked out with toads, owls, and cats. A few people came out with slightly more absurd familiars like emus, turtles, and someone ended up with a banana slug. He kind of hoped that he didn’t get a banana slug.

A girl exited the summoning room with an excitable looking terrier happily running around her legs. The region’s head wicche, Takashi Shirogane, followed behind her with a scroll in his hands. He easily spotted Keith in the crowd and smiled at him, not even needed to unroll the scroll to know he was next. 

“Keith Kogane.” He called. Keith quickly made his way through the small crowd and followed Shiro into the room. Behind closed doors, Shiro chuckled and patted his head. “I can’t believe it. You’re already an adult. It feels like just yesterday when you were setting your pinky on fire when there weren’t any candles to light.”

Keith rolled his eyes and playfully jabbed Shiro in the ribcage. “Well now I am a full fledged wicche… Well, once I get my familiar…”

Shiro nodded his head in agreement as they made it into the summoning room. “Yep. Well, time to get started.” 

The summoning room was large and circular with a high ceiling with a glass dome. On the ground were engravings that ensured that this room was always made for summoning familiars. Shiro’s familiar, a phoenix called Adam, pecked at the ground until he saw Shiro. At which point he flew to his master and landed on his enchanted arm made of petrified wood and stone.

“Remember the spell?” He asked Keith as he walked away from the circle.

“Of course.” Said Keith as he rolled up his sleeves. “Just give me a moment to clear my head.” Shiro shrugged and happily gestured for him to continue. Keith cracked his knuckles and cleared his head. “Fire, air, water, and earth. I call upon you to bring them forth. Light, ice, storm and night. A path to me I do invite.” 

The summoning circle started to glow softly as the red energy of his manna poured into the circle causing it to glow red too. Keith closed his eyes and let his emotional defences drop. Something he hated doing, but it was important for finding the right familiar. Pouring your manna into a summoning circle was like throwing out an advertisement to the magical world and seeing who will take up the task. The better your manna the more impressive the magical creatures would try and take the job.

However, a pathetic looking familiar didn’t mean the wicche was weak or anything. A wicche’s manna could improve a lot over years. Some of the most powerful wicche’s in the land had creatures like toads and tarantulas as familiars. But having an impressive familiar right off the bat was always prefered for obvious reasons.

After a few seconds of the summoning circle glowing red with his manna, it started to flicker with different shades. It flickered orange and purple a few times, even green. This was a good sign. It meant that there were a few creatures out there that liked the look of his manna. Suddenly a wave of blue washed over the circle and an orb of light appeared in the center of the circle.

Seconds later there was a loud plop sound as Keith’s familiar manifested in front of him. It took Keith a few seconds to figure out what he was looking at. It was big and round with a dog’s face and flippers. 

“... Shiro… Why the fuck is my familiar a leopard seal?” Asked Keith.

The older wicche snickered as they summoned a small wagon and ramp for Keith to move his familiar around with. “Don’t ask me. These things happen. I thought for sure I was going to get some kind of storm hawk, but I ended up with Adam instead. The old magic works in mysterious ways.” He reached over and gently scratched under his familiar’s chin, which the bird seemed to enjoy. “Now bestow your familiar with the gift sentiants.” 

Keith sighed in mild annoyance, but walked up to the confused looking blue eyed seal. “Bless your heart with magic light I give the gift of wicche’s tongue.”

The seal blinked a few times and him before snorting sea water at him. The seal then waddled up the ramp and onto the wagon and looked over at Keith, snorting again.

“... Did it work?” Asked Keith.

Shiro shrugged. “It can take a little while for the magic to work. Just take your familiar outside to the gardens. Everyone else is out there getting to know their familiars.”

Keith nodded and started to drag his familiar outside. He had planned for all eventualities except for this… He didn’t think he would get an aquatic animal. He was planning to go to the mountains but how the hell was he going to do this with a seal? How the hell was he going to get his seal home in the first place? He lived on a hill.

He walked towards the pond and sat down with the seal. They were meant to talk or something, right? The seal seemed very interested in everything that was happening around them. They watched the birds and the dogs and cats doing stuff.

Keith cleared his throat to catch their attention. “So… I am Keith. I’m your Master. I am a fire wicche. My official title is lesser arcane weapons master… I guess I should name you? Are you male or female? I can give you a gender neutral name if you like?”

The seal suddenly sat up and their fur started to shiver like they had goosebumps. They sat back and opened their mouth wide. All the fur on the seal’s body became loose and flopped off like a second skin until sitting on the wagon was a naked man with tanned skin. The only thing covering his body was the seal skin. He was handsome and had a playful smirk on his face.

“I’m not a lesser magical creature. I already have a name.” They said. “The name is Lance. I’m a selkie. It’s nice to meet you, Lesser arcane weapons master Keith, my Master.”

Keith was stunned to say the least. At least now he didn’t have to worry about dragging a honking huge seal up a hill to his house anymore.

***

An hour after the last wicche summoned their familiar, everyone was allowed to travel home. Shiro came out to find Keith and was surprised to see that the seal was actually a selkie. He laughed it off and congratulated the two of them for coming together and told them to get along well. Adam squawked in approval.

The two of them started the long walk home. Keith had asked if Lance wanted some clothes or if he wanted to turn back into a seal so he could wheel him back most of the way. Lance brushed it off and said he wanted to walk on two legs for a while. He just tied his seal skin around his hips and happily followed him.

“I haven’t been this far inland before.” Said Lance as they traveled along the cobblestone path near the Lakewood forest. “I usually stick to the coast. Lots of sand and what not… Wait, does this mean there’s no fish this far in land?”

Keith shook his head. “We have a lake nearby that has a lot of fish you might like?”

“Oh cool. Thanks.” 

Eventually they walked off the stone path and walked along a dirt path towards a small hill. On top of the hill was Keith’s home. It was big enough for two people and made of stone and wood. It wasn’t much, but it was his home.

“Is this where you live, Master?” Asked Lance.

“Where we live.” Corrected Keith. He wasn’t too sure how he felt about a higher magical creature like Lance calling him Master. “Um… I don’t know too much about selkie’s apart from you guys live in the sea… So…”

Lance chuckled. “That’s fine. I don’t know too much about wicche’s either.” They went inside and Lance sat down at a table. “So what does a lesser arcane weapons master do, master?”

Keith frowned and went about starting a fire to make some tea. “I make spells and enchantments to enhance weapons. Mostly small things like daggers and arrows at the moment since I am a lesser wicche. But who knows? After a few years if my work quality is good I could make some interesting things…” His eyes suddenly lit up. “I could start using sea glass… Since you’re a selkie and everything.”

“You could.”

“Yeah. What things do I need to know about selkies?”

Lance shrugged. “We’re pretty low maintenance for the most part. We like being damp, love eating fish and seafood… Oh Master, there is one very important thing you need to know about selkies.”

“Yes?”

Lance reached down and ran his fingers over his fur. “... You can’t take my fur. Ever. If I hide it somewhere for whatever reason, you can’t move it unless it’s going to get destroyed. Okay? We don’t like people touching our furs.”

Keith shrugged. He was okay with Lance setting some boundaries. He was a high level magical creature after all. Plus over the next few days he would look up how best to take care of a selkie. He assumed he might need a lot more water. Not something he ever thought he would need in abundance since his manna was linked to the element of fire. Not water. Still unsure why a selkie would even want to be the familiar to a fire wicche anyway.

He grabbed some herbs and heard a plop as something hit the ground behind him. Keith jumped and quickly turned to see that Lance had decided to pull his seal skin back on. He watched as Lance plopped along the ground towards a bed of hay in the corner that had a soft sheepskin blanket over it. He looked over at Keith and raised an eyebrow.

“Go ahead.” Said Keith. “That’s your bed for tonight. We can figure out something a little more comfortable for you tomorrow.”

Lance huffed in agreement and happily flopped onto his hay and wool bed. He yawned and closed his eyes. He seemed happy enough to be here. Keith was still more than a little confused. Something from the sea shouldn’t have been attracted to his manna when he called out for a familiar. He’d figure this out later. Lance seemed to have the right idea about sleeping. Keith would probably go ahead and do that too after he drank some tea.


	47. Mud crab (monster and manna au IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter about a very angry crab. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Due to a series of mistakes the party had gotten split up. Valayun and Shiro had been hit with a time spell and had been sent off into the future to where they would meet up with the party later on (in real life Allura and Shiro were at the swap moon buying stuff). Block and Meklavar had been sent to the Mountains of Elwhip. Pike and Thundar were lost in the Melnor marsh.

Thundar was blaming Pike for this. “If you didn’t steal that stone we wouldn’t be here.” He muttered.

Pike pouted as he carefully walked through the treetops. “Dude, I took it because it was valuable but the old fart wouldn’t fork it over.”

Thundar huffed and trudged through the mud below. He didn’t want to go up and try to climb through the trees. He stuck with walking through the mud and sticking to the patches of land he wouldn’t sink in. “Fuck off.”

“Shut up and get in the tree.”

“You get on the ground.”

“Stop being stubborn and get in the tree!”

“Fuck you!”

The two of them continued to argue and didn’t notice something was slowly moving towards them in the mud. Suddenly a huge crab burst through the mud and started waving their claws at them. Thundar got knocked back into a tree and Pike managed to throw a knife at it, though it didn't seem to do shit to it.

“... Shit!”

With the monster’s attention on him, Pike had no choice but to jump and run as best as he could through the trees. It worked for a while until he didn’t have any more trees to run to. He looked back at the giant crab and saw it was about to attack.

Pike braced himself for the inevitable hit when an arrow flew through the air and shattered the crab;s claw off its body instead. They let out an angered roar in anger. Pike looked over at Thundar. The crazy half elf was hanging upside down in one of the trees with a bow and arrow in hand. He shot a few more arrows at the crab, missed a few shots but did manage to shoot three of the monster’s legs off.

While the crab was distracted Pike quickly rummaged through his bag and found an enchanted bomb. Perfect. He smirked and quickly tied some rope around the tree and his stomach. “Hey! Claws for brains! Over here!”

When the crab looked over at him Pike swung from the tree and managed to throw the bomb into the crab’s mouth, narrowly avoiding his tail getting cut off in the process. Unfortunately the crab did manage to cut the rope and Pike went flying through the air, right into Thundar.

The two of them crashed into each other and ended up in a muddy heap on the ground. On the plus side the crab blew up. Chunks of crab came flying down from the heavens which caused the both of them to feel relieved and slightly disturbed. 

“... Did you waste an armor piercing arrow on a fucking crab?” Asked Pike.

“Did you waste a bomb on a crab?” Asked Thundar.

Pike huffed as he sat on top of Thundar. “Excuse me? But my bomb killed them. I think I won that fight.”

“It almost killed you!” Snapped Thundar.

“It would have just punted me! I would have been fine!”

“You’re insufferable!”

“You’re a jerk!”

“Why are you always like this? I’m just trying to help you!”

Pike rolled his eyes. “I don’t need your help!”

“Everyone needs help every once in a while!” Snapped Thundar. “You’re happy to get help from everyone else! Is it because I just joined the team? Because I’m not some pretty bimbo you can flirt with?”

“I don’t flirt with everyone!”

“Yes you do!” Yelled Thundar. He sighed and let his arms fall back into the mud. “... I’m sorry I don’t have tits you can drool over like other girls. I’m sorry I’m not friendly like everyone you travel with… I just want to help…”

“... Do you think I hate you or something?”

“What else can I think?” Asked Thundar. “Out of everyone on the team you seem to hate me the most… Is it because I’m a half elf or something? I’m trying really hard here...”

“... Thundar.” Pike sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Trying to get some of the mud off himself. “Look, I was just playing around. I don’t hate you man… You’re… You’re nice.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you are… Thanks for helping out there…” Pike got off Thundar and helped him to his feet. He gently brushed some of the mud off his clothes. “Look, I can see how my usual charming self might have been taken as a little abrasive… I thought we were just joking around. I don’t really have the same banter with you as I do with the rest of the party…”

“... So you being a dick was you having a bit of fun?” Asked Thundar. 

“Yeah… I know, I’m shit.”

“Yeah, you’re shit.” Said Thundar. “... But shit is still useful.” He lightly punched Pike in the shoulder. “Come on man. Let’s get out of this stupid marsh.”

Pike smiled a little and followed him. He yelped a little when he lost his footing. Thundar reached out and grabbed his arm. The two of them slipped a little and Thundar almost ended up on top of Pike. Though they ended up with their chests pressed together. They face’s inches away from each other.

There was a beat of silence between them as they just stared at each other. Sure they were both soaked in marsh water and mud, and they should have been disgusted with each other at that moment… But they weren’t. Pike was enamoured by this broody, half elf, ranger… And by the look in Thundar’s eyes, he seemed to feel the same way. Pike gently cupped his face and gently tried to pull himself closer to Thundar’s lips.

***

“FINALLY!” Yelled Pidge. “Sure they were kissing in a stinky marsh, but finally!”

Lance rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at them. “Shut up. The mood was right!”

“Aw, it’s romantic.” Said Hunk. “So are Pike and Thundar a couple now?”

Lance and Keith looked at each other before they answered at the same time. “Yes.”

Coran grinned, but it wasn’t a happy grin. It was an evil grin. “Well, this is going to be very, very interesting. I’m already coming up with scenarios that will challenge this newly blossoming relationship.”

“Anyway, can we switch over to Hunk and me now?” Asked Pidge. “I’m getting a little antsy.”

“Of course.” Said Coran happily. He cleared his throat and went back into game master mode. “The icy winds howl and snow whips around your faces-”

As Coran set the scene for Hunk and Pidge, Lance and Keith relaxed next to each other on the couch while sharing fond looks with each other. It was nice that their characters were dating too.


	48. Grumpy (X-men AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insomnia hit, so have another chapter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Class was surprisingly normal at the school. On Lance’s first day he was getting taught normal English classes, regular history, and normal Spanish classes. He almost forgot he was in a school full of mutants until he got to biology class.

Their teacher was a woman called Ryner. They were a kind and gentle soul, but they seemed to be doing presentations today. She just smiled at Lance and gave him a piece of paper. “Here. Just write the paper and you won’t need to do the presentation part. Two pages double spaced.”

“Okay.” Lance looked over at the paper and looked over at Hunk. “Hey Hunk?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s this all about?”

“Oh, it’s talking about our mutations and how they can help us adapt to the world or something. It’s pretty much just an exercise to make us see that our mutations are a good thing and not a bad thing.” Said Hunk.

“Huh, that’s pretty smart…”

“Ryner is pretty smart.” Said Hunk. “She is a member of Mensa.”

“Cool.”

Lance settled into his seat and watched as everyone got up and talked about their powers. It was interesting to learn about his fellow classmates. One could talk to animals. Some had various forms of shape shifting. Someone could do various forms of weather manipulation. Someone could turn their body to steel. Then Keith came up to do his presentation.

The guy was clearly uncomfortable being up in front of everyone. He cleared his throat and tried to make himself look all confident and such, but his ears were pinned back and clearly didn’t want to be there.

“S-so… My mutation is a physical one.” He said quietly. “I have more animal traits similar to a cats-” Someone in the class made a small meowing sound, which made some people snicker. “-which means I have better hearing and eyesight than most people. My balance is pretty good because my tail acts as a counter balance and-” Someone meowed a little louder. “- I…” Keith took a moment to collect himself. “My bite force is registered at 6000 psi. Which is 1000 times stronger than the current record holder which is the Nile Crocodile at 5000 psi.”

Lance’s eyebrows shot up in shock. The people meowing had stopped for a moment as Keith looked rightfully pissed off. He probably got a lot of shit for looking like a cat.

“My claws are retractable and can easily rip cut through bone, and my tongue is similar to a tiger. I can easily lick the skin off a cow or flesh from bone… I’m pretty useless at anything and everything so the best I can probably hope for is that someone needs a body to be disposed of. Thanks for listening.” He dropped the papers he was reading from into a bin by the teacher’s desk and sat back down, growling at anyone who dared look at him.

After a few more people gave their presentations and everyone quickly left. Lance wondered why Keith didn’t mention any of that blood stuff that in his presentation, but then again he probably didn’t want to talk about himself since some assholes were making cat noises at him.

When classes were done for the day Lance went out to the fountain to meet up with Shiro. Keith was already there. He had crouched down so his arms were resting on the edge as he traced his claws over the surface of the water. He seemed pretty down.

“... Hey Keith.”

Keith glanced over at Lance but didn’t acknowledge him anymore than that. He went back to clawing at the water. He kept watching Lance out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t look very happy that Lance was there, but he had to be there to meet up with Shiro.

“So… Um… Interesting presentations huh?” Asked Lance. “I knew mutants were pretty amazing but some of those powers are really cool. Huh?” Keith didn’t respond so Lance just kept talking. “Like, it’s so cool to be able to talk to animals. I’d have loved to talk to Ziggy. He was this cute tabby cat. Super lazy, but we all loved him… Did you ever have a pet growing up?”

Keith glared at him. “Are you making fun of me?”

“What? Why would-”

There was a slight swooping noise and Shiro landed a few feet away from them. He grinned at them. “Hey guys. Glad to see that you’re both here on time. How was class?”

Lance shrugged. “It was pretty normal school stuff in my opinion.”

Keith shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. Keith clearly wasn’t a very talkative man it seemed, unless he was forced. “It was whatever.”

“Alright, well come on you two. We’re going to get to know each other some more.” Said Shiro. Keith evidently didn’t seem to like that idea from the way his ears were pinned back against his head. “It’s not going to be that bad. Come on.” Shiro took the duo down to a nice spot on the lawn. He sat down, stretching his wings, gesturing for the boys to do the same. They sat down and Shiro explained what they were going to do. “Okay, so we’re going to go around in a circle. When it’s your turn you ask a question and the people not asking the question will answer. Okay?”

“What’s the point of this?” Grumbled Keith as he pulled his knees up to his chest.

“To get to know each other. We’re going to be spending this mentoring session getting to know each other.” Said Shiro calmly. “Okay, I will go first. What is your favourite colour?”

“Blue.” Said Lance.

“Red.” Muttered Keith.”

Shiro nodded. “Good. Lance, you go next.”

Lance thought for a moment. “Um… How many siblings do you have?”

“None.” Said Keith quickly.

“Also an only child.” Said Shiro. He looked expectantly at Keith.

Keith just shrugged. “I don’t know… Favourite season?”

“Summer.” Said Lance. “Love going down to the beach on those hot days.”

“I like Winter.” Said Shiro. “Perfect weather to watch movies and have all kinds of delicious warm food. So, what state or country were you born in?”

“America.” Said Lance. “But my parents were born in Cuba.”

Keith looked annoyed. “America… Shiro, this is stupid. If we aren’t going to do anything productive I am going to my room. I have homework.” 

He quickly got up and left. Shiro just shook his head as he walked away. Lance felt kind of bad. He had a strong feeling that he had pissed Keith off. He didn’t mean to. Lance was just trying to get along with everyone he could. He really didn’t want to make enemies with any of the mutants here. They could probably do some pretty nasty stuff to him.

“Don’t worry about Keith.” Said Shiro. “He is… He doesn’t like change and doesn’t like sharing me.”

“Sharing you?”

The older male shrugged as he ran his fingers through his feathers. “I’ve known Keith since he was twelve. I used to volunteer for a charity that would help ease more… noticable mutants into society. Mostly preteens and teenagers… I ended up helping Keith. He’s like a younger brother to me and doesn’t really like the fact that he has to share me.”

“Ah… Okay…” Lance awkwardly pulled up some of the grass. “I didn’t mean to upset him…”

“It’ll be fine. Just give him time.” Said Shiro. “Anyway, let’s keep getting to know each other.”

***

Keith quickly slunk back to his room, doing his best to avoid everyone. Sure he wasn’t the only mutant here that couldn’t hide their physical characteristics, but he was the most unsociable. People liked to make fun of him and avoid him. Sure, some of the bullying that happened was partially his fault, but Keith did try to fit in when he first came here, but he just couldn’t. He was too guarded. Didn’t let anyone in.

He got into his room and breathed a sigh of relief. His room was his and his alone. For the first time in forever he got to have his own space to relax and be himself. Surprisingly his room was a lot neater than one might expect from him. He liked order. He liked knowing where everything was.

He climbed onto his bed and lied face down. Keith still felt like shit. Coming here, the thing he liked the best was spending time with Shiro. Shiro was his constant. Shiro was his rock. Shiro meant everything to him, but clearly he didn’t mean that much to Shiro if he was taking on Lance.

Keith knew he needed to grow up, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want things to change between him and Shiro. He’d just end up pushing Shiro away at this rate. He didn’t want to lose Shiro too. If he lost Shiro then he’d really be alone again.

His ears drooped sadly. He didn’t want to be able again… But maybe it would be best for now? It would give Shiro time to see how much better Lance was then him. Maybe Keith just wasn’t meant to have friends or a family?

That was a depressing thought, but he was okay with it. He had to be okay with it. If he wasn’t okay with it, it didn’t matter. He didn’t get to decide. He just had to suck it up. There was a knock at the door and it slowly opened.

“Keith? Can I come in?” Asked Adam.

“You’re going to come in no matter what, so yeah I guess?” Muttered Keith.

Adam rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of Keith’s bed. “Are you okay?”

“What do you think?” He growled.

Adam sighed and shook his head. “If it makes a difference, I told Shiro that you wouldn’t take this well.”

“And that’s meant to make me feel better?”

“Keith… Why don’t you try getting along with Lance? He isn’t a bad kid. Just give him a go. He doesn’t seem to-”

“He doesn’t get it!” Snapped Keith. “No one gets it! I’m a fucking freak! Lance looks normal! He-”

“Stop.” Said Adam calmly. “Stop right there. “Keith, you don’t know anything about Lance. Has he done anything to make you think he is a bad person with ill intentions?”

“... No.”

Adam smiled a little at him and patted his back. “So be nice. You might be able to make a friend out of it… Shiro would be very happy for you if you got a friend.”

“I guess… Fine, I guess I’ll try… For Shiro.”

“Good.” He gently rubbed Keith’s shoulder. “It’s okay to be jealous.”

“Whatever… Adam?’

“Yeah?”

“Your hands are freezing.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “No shit dumbass. Now stop being such a sourpuss.”

Keith poked his tongue out and before he could react, Adam touched his tongue, coating it in a thin dusting of ice. “Asshole!”


	49. Escape (Incubus AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to give you all a double dose of horror AU's tonight. Incubus and a new AU that I will be posting in a few hours. Hope you all like the horror/darker au stuff. Most people don't seem to like it that much for whatever reason. idk. Anyway, kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

_It is difficult to tell what the effects of people living with demons is due to the difficulty and inhumane nature of performing such tests. To do so one would need to either forcefully bond a demon to a human or force a human to become possessed by a demon. Most people who have been around such monsters long term seem to develop demonic qualities._

_The first sign of demonic transformation is teeth falling out. Human teeth are normally changed into more jagged and animalistic teeth. It is difficult to monitor much progress after that. Some of the most common demons that frequently interact with humans and convert them into more demons would be sex demons._

_They will frequently use human wombs to procreate more of their kind and by doing so their chosen females usually tend to display demonic qualities. It’s theorized that the foetus, containing DNA from their demonic parent, forces the mother to change and adapt to make them protect them at all costs. Manipulating them before they are born._

_On the other hand, some humans that have been abducted by demons as just a food source and reconfigured and reconstituted into appropriate and easily accessible furniture. These gore nests or flesh hives are where most sex demons tend to live in, around, and congregate in hell._

_There is one other form these victims of a sex demon might take, and that is that of a “feeder” demon. Individual that form a true symbiotic bond with a sex demon may slowly transform into an entity with similar physical features as a sex demon, though they tend to have more muscle mass, shorter tails, smaller wings, and larger horns._

_From observations of feeder demons they seem to either catch or lure unsuspecting humans towards their demonic lover and eat the corpse once the other is done with them. Their relationship seems to extend far beyond food, as the sex demon will keep their dwelling clean and bare children for the feeder demon regardless of their physical appearance. If a feeder demon is nearby then a sex demon is not far behind._

***

Shiro closed the book and sighed. He had been reading over everything he could about demons and demonic possessions to help save Keith. He was wasting away and nothing they were doing seemed to help. They were going to move Keith tomorrow. He looked over at his brother. He had placed Keith by the window again. He hoped that he wasn’t too bored. There wasn’t much he could do in the way of entertainment for him right now.

He sighed and brushed Keith’s hair, carefully plating it. He hoped that if this was like a coma and Keith knew what was going on that he would know that Shiro was doing his best for him. Shiro wanted Keith to know that he loved him and would always love him.

“Your hair looks really nice.” He said. “Do you want to grow it out? Maybe cut it short? I think you would look nice either way. Don’t you?”

Keith obviously said nothing. Shiro sighed and got a mirror for him and showed him his reflection. He hoped Keith liked how he looked. He still looked pretty messed up. Still wasting away. He needed to do something for Keith to make him feel better.

“Keith… When we leave here we’ll go somewhere better. Things will get better. I promise things will be okay. I promise.” He held Keith’s hand and gently squeezed. “I’ll do anything for you. I love you so much Keith.”

The younger man continued to stare at nothing. Shiro couldn’t tell if there was anything behind Keith’s eyes. He just seemed so blank. Keith looked like a doll. A sickly doll, but a doll nonetheless. He wanted to hug him and keep him safe from the monsters of the world. Keith needed help. He was going to be that help.

“... I’m going to get you some food.” Said Shiro. “I’ll be back soon.” He put Keith’s hippo on his lap and headed down to get food for him.

***

When Shiro was gone, Keith couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Shiro was doing his best for him and trying to help him move again. He felt bad. Guilty. Shiro loved him so much and Keith loved him, but his body, heart, and soul belonged to Lance.

“Are you having second thoughts?” Asked Pidge.

_Huh? No. I’m just..._

“He’s your brother. Yeah, I get it.” Said Pidge. They picked up hippo and looked at it. “A comforting thing for you?”

_Yeah… Shiro got it for me..._

“You probably won’t be able to take it with you when you run off.” Said Pidge. “I mean, you can if you like, but probably not.”

_I guess, but have you figured out how to make me walk and function again? I can’t open the door if I can’t move._

“I have a way, but it’s gonna hurt.”

_How so?_

“I need to drop you.”

_What?_

“Like, you just fall over. It’ll jump start you.”

_Wow. So reassuring. I could have done that myself_

“Hey, I’m going a lot of stuff on my end too. This is just the shit you need to know.”

_Fine… You should go now. Shiro’s going to come soon with whatever stuff they inject into my feeding tube._

“Okay fair. See you later tonight Keith. Get ready.”

_I will be ready. Don’t you worry about that Pidge. I’m ready to help my husband._

***

That night when Shiro said goodnight to Keith he was itching to leave. He still had to wait an hour before Allura took over and very carefully pulled his feeding tube out, placing it carefully on the bed. After that she went around and dressed Keith up in the only clothes that he had. It wasn’t much.

“Are you ready to go?”

_Can You write a note for Shiro before I leave?_

“If I must…” There was some paper and pencils in the room and she quickly wrote down the note that Keith dictated for her. Her writing was a lot more perfect than his was. Keith couldn’t read it but Allura assured him that she wrote down everything he had said. She placed it on the bed and put the stuffed hippo on top of it.

Keith felt a little guilty, but his need to see Lance and be with him because he loved him. As he walked along Hunk and Pidge would come around whisper a few things as they slinked through the darkness and back to the basement.

They managed to get back to the door covered with enchantments. Hunk sighed a little and looked around, finding a barrel of discarded tools and looked through it, grabbing a crowbar. “This should be helpful if Lance is in a cage or something.”

“Really Hunk?” Asked Allura. “A cage?”

“You never know.” Said Hunk. “Well, there’s nothing else I can do here. Let us know what happens. Tell Lance I want to meet up with him soon. Bye.”

“I should leave too.” Said Allura. “Pidge, Keith, it’s all up to you two now. Good luck.”

Pidge sighed a little and sat on a table that was probably used for some kind of physical torture. “Alright… So here is what’s going to happen. I’m going to lean forward and leave. Your body will hit the ground and should reset everything.”

_Oh? Really? Looks painful..._

“It’s meant to be painful… Look, you’re married to Lance, right?”

_Yeah?_

“Good. You have a strong bond with him… I didn’t mention this before, but humans are tricky things. These demon hunters probably subdued Lance somehow. Maybe chopping him up or tying him up. I don’t know. You won’t like what you see, but demons aren’t as easily disposed of as they might think. No matter how mutilated Lance might be he will recover. Trust me, sex demons are worse than cockaroaches. Nothing short of a virgin versed in the purity magic will take us out.”

_Good to know._

“Okay. Good luck Keith. I’ll do my bit on my end. You do yours.” With that Pidge was gone and Keith fell forward hitting the ground hard.

He groaned in pain as he twitched a little and slowly tried to move. He was surprised that Pidge actually helped him out. He cleared his throat and sat up. “Aaaaaa… Okay, I can talk. Good.” 

He slowly sat up and pulled himself to his feet. He looked at the door and picked up the crowbar. He hesitated a little. This was it. He could just leave it and run. He could go back and tell Shiro that he was back and he could have a somewhat normal human life, but Lance… He could never abandon Lance. He promised him that he would take care of him. He vowed it.

He put his hand on the doorknob and pushed it open. Inside the room were barrels. Lots and lots of barrels. Dozens of barrels stacked on top of each other. All of them had weird writing on them. Keith hated the nauseating feeling of unease he felt in this place. Were demons being stored in these barrels?

He didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to find Lance. He needed Lance. He was so close he could almost feel him. He brushed up against a barrel and felt a shiver down his spine. This was it he knew it. Lance was in that barrel.

Keith pried the barrel open and pushed it over. A mess of limbs fell out and Keith felt his heart stop. It was Lance’s body. “No…” He whispered. “No, no, no…” His hands were shaking as he crouched over Lance’s body and started to try to force the pieces back together. It was like he was trying to put a meat puzzle back together. It wasn’t sticking together.

He pressed the Lance’s neck against his torso and watched in relief as the meat and skin started to fuse back together. Lance gasped for air. His eyes were stitched shut and his mouth looked like it had been cut up pretty badly.

“Fuck…” Wheezed the demon. “Just… Fuck…”

“It’s okay.” Said Keith. “I-I’m going to fix you. P-put you back together.”

“Keith?” They turned their head towards Keith and smiled. “Is that really you?”

Keith smiled back at him and gently caressed his cheek. “Yeah. It’s me. I’ll fix you.”

“Give me back my arms first.”

“Of course.” It took a few minutes but Keith put Lance’s arms back together and once they were attached to his body, Lance quickly picked away at the stitches on his eyes and helped Keith reattach his legs, tail, and wings.

Once Lance was all put together again, he looked pretty banged up and worse for wear. But Keith didn’t care. He hugged Lance tightly and cried into his chest. Lance held him and ran his fingers down his back in a soothing manner.

“It’s okay Keith. I’m okay now. I love you so much.” He cupped Keith’s face and kissed him passionately. Keith kissed him back with just as much passion, but gently pushed him away, which confused Lance a little. “Hmm?”

“I-I know you’re hungry, but we need to get out of here first.” Said Keith quietly. “I’ll feed you as much as you need me to.”

Lance grinned and nuzzled him. “Alright. We will get the hell out of here and find somewhere else to stay. Might take a few weeks, but with the weather getting colder… Want to head to Cuba?”

Keith chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go to Cuba. You know I’ll go anywhere with you. Do anything for you. I love you Lance. You’re my husband.”

The demon blushed a little and kissed him again. “You are such a romantic. Let’s get out of here.”

Keith nodded and held Lance’s hand tightly. The two of them walked out of the room and quickly looked around. They didn’t really have much of an escape plan. Keith’s whole plan had been to get back to Lance no matter what. Now that he had done that, how the hell would they get out?

“This way.” Said Lance quietly. He took Keith over to a door hidden behind a stack of boxes and some odd looking torture device and carefully pushed it open. There was a cold breeze coming out from it. There were stairs leading deeper into the earth. Keith wasn’t sure if they should go down there, but Lance pulled him along. They walked down the stairs and after what felt like forever, Keith started to hear running water.

“... Lance? Where are we?”

“I’m not sure.” Said Lance quietly. “I heard people coming from this direction a few times when I was in the torture chamber. It had to be a way out.” At the bottom of the steps was an underground river. It was running through a large looking cave with a small pinprick of light at the end. Keith looked around and spotted a small boat tied to a pier.

“... Over here.” Said Keith. He got into the boat and waved for Lance to follow him.

Lance was about to get into the boat, but hesitated. “Keith, do you really want to do this? If you go back now you can-”

“Don’t try and manipulate me.” Said Keith. “I’m your husband. We belong to each other.” He reached out and smiled at him. “Lance, just come with me already.”

The demon looked a little surprised by how he was talking but smiled and got into the boat. “Okay. Let go.”

Keith smiled a little and carefully started to maneuver the boat through the water and out onto a lake. The sun was starting to rise. Lance made a pleased noise and he stretched his wings. They still looked dull and kind of in tatters. It was pretty bad. It upset Keith to think that someone could treat Lance so poorly. He loved him. He was a good demon, well, better than most demons in general.

When the sun was well in the air, Keith pulled into the side of the river and got out, helping Lance get out too. He still looked pretty awful and it upset Keith a lot. “Lance… We should find you something to eat soon… Also some clothes.”

Lance chuckled a little and wrapped their wings around their body. “Yeah. Probably for the best…”

“Yeah…” Keith held his hand and smiled softly at him. He felt safe now. He felt safe with Lance. “So… Apparently I’m a conduit now. Been hearing Allura, Pidge, and Hunk in my head.”

Lance groaned in annoyance as they started walking. “Sorry love. Yeah, doing the whole heart swapping thing does sometimes give complications, but nothing should have happened to you. If those stupid Blade people did anything to you they probably accidentally made you a conduit.”

“Oh.”

Lance squeezed his hand and smiled at him. “But don’t worry about it. While it can’t really be stopped now since those idiots started it, I can just not talk to them.”

“Hunk wants to meet up at some point.”

“Of course he does.” He chuckled. “You’ll love him. Sure Hunk is pretty lazy, but he’s awesome. Pidge is really cool too and Allura-”

“Your ex.”

“Yeah, my ex, she’s really sweet too.” Said Lance happily. “Well, she does bully humans a lot and makes them uncomfortable, but what demon doesn’t do that? She’s nice... So, what’s our next move?”

Keith shrugged. “Cuba?”

Lance laughed and grinned. “I was kind of joking about that, but I’ll happily go to Cuba with you.”

Keith smiled back and found that his jaw started to hurt. He frowned and ran his tongue over his teeth. He pushed something hard into his mouth and tasted blood. Keith spat out a tooth. Roots and all. It looked like a molar. Which was kind of weird. He didn’t know what this meant but it probably wasn’t good.


	50. Honey scented (monster AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the second part of the horror AU dump I'm doing today. Since I'm wrapping up my Incubus AU soon I want to start another darker one. Hope you all enjoy it. I'd really appreciate some feedback on this one in particular. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Also here's a little more in depth definition for the disease that Lance has;  
> Congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis (CIPA) is a rare hereditary disease that causes affected individuals to be unable to feel pain and unable to sweat (anhydrosis). It is also called hereditary sensory and autonomic neuropathy type IV (HSAN IV).

_It would have been nice if everything was just a dream._

The cold sound of buzzing and beeping filled the room as the scientists watched over their experiment. It had become lethargic over the past few days and didn’t seem to want to do anything other than sleep. The scientists were considering enacting the final test but only when they themselves weren’t the ones on duty. No one wanted to be the ones on duty when that happened. Even when the life insurance payout was good.

This experiment had taken close to fifty years. Yeah, it was long term, but it had been so worth it. They got a lot of very vital data from their experiment. They had been able to advance modern medicine by leaps and bounds with their current experiment. 

Suddenly, the red phone rang.

The scientists shared a concerned, almost panicked look. The red phone didn’t ring unless the director was calling them directly. The braver of the two picked up the phone. “Yes Director?” They asked. “Yes, the experiment is going well. They are… I see…” They suddenly became very, very pale. “Are you sure you want to start? Oh! No, no, no! I’m not being insubordinate at all I… I understand… Thank you for employing us for-” They frowned at the phone and put it back on the receiver.

The other scientist looked like they were going to be sick. “It’s time isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” They stood at the far end of one console while the other did the same on their end. 

Both simultaneously put their keys into their slots and turned them at the same time. An alarm blared as the room containing their experiment started to fill with an opaque gas. The experiment immediately sat up and started freaking out. Once they were violently riled up there was a click and the door to their room opened. The gas slowly dissipated and the experiment was gone.

The scientists nodded at each other and fiddled with the company issued watch. It popped open and they tipped the small white pill hidden inside into their hands. The sounds of screaming and gunfire started to fill the air and it was getting closer. Both scientists looked at each other. They knew what had to be done. They quickly took their own pills and within seconds both were dropping to the ground, dead. It was better to die by cyanide than to die at the maw of their experiment.

The final stages of Project Pupa were about to begin.

***

Lance yawned as he shoved his last bite of toast into his mouth. His sisters pushed him out the door. Just because he was allowed to slack off. Their mother quickly chastised the older girls. “Don’t you dare make him trip or fall over!” She warned. “You know that-”

“We all know mama.” Whined his twin sister, Rachel. “Poor Lancey-Lance needs to be treated with kid gloves.”

“Do not!” Whined Lance.

Veronica, his older sister, rolled her eyes and practically shoved them into the back of her van. “Just get in there you dumbasses. We’ll see you tonight mama!”

Lance sighed as he settled into his seat and looked out the window. His poor mother always worried about him. She couldn’t help it. Hell, everyone had been worried about Lance. He had been born with CIPA (congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis). In other words, Lance was born unable to feel pain. Lance never cried and often got banged up and bruised as a baby and small child. He was tested and he was diagnosed with a form of CIPA. Unlike most others with his condition he could still sweat and sense temperatures, but no pain.

It was like a superpower, but at the same time he hated it. He often bled and didn’t realise he was bleeding until it was pointed out to him by someone else. To help make sure he didn’t do something terrible to himself, like break a bone, he had monthly fistis with the family GP. A nice woman. Dr Honerva Diabazzel. He had another appointment with her at the end of the week.

Veronica dropped her siblings off at school before she drove to work. Rachel ran off to find her friends and Lance quickly did the same. He easily spotted Hunk and Pidge near the bike rack. Pidge seemed to be really animated this morning.

Lance walked over to them and grinned. “Hey guys. What’s up?”

Pidge grinned up at him and adjusted their glasses. “You know that weird government building? The one that’s actually protected my people with fucking guns and shit in the middle of fucking no where? Last night, all sirens, blazing.”

“Really?” Asked Lance. He lived pretty close to the area Pidge was talking about, but Pidge did live a little closer. He didn’t hear anything last night.

Pidge nodded. “Yeah. I’m saying some secret government experiment got loose, and now it’s going to become some freaky cryptid. I want to name them if that’s the case.”

Hunk shook his head. “I’m calling a night drill of some sort.”

“Yeah, you’re wrong.” They grabbed Lance’s arm and happily jumped up and down. “It’s totally a thing right? Maybe an alien? Has to be an alien.”

Lance chuckled and messed up Pidge’s hair. “Yeah, totally an alien… But Hunk is probably right.”

“You are no fun.” She said as she jabbed her finger into his chest. “No imagination at all!”

Hunk shook his head. “Anyway, don’t we have more pressing things to worry about? Like you asking Allura to prom?”

Lance groaned in annoyance. Prom was still so, so far away, but he wanted to plan it out for her. He wanted to make it perfect. Allura was the Queen B of the school. She was perfect. She needed the perfect. More than likely Lotor would ask her out. He was the uncontested King of the school. But he was really preppy and annoying.

“... I bet I could take Lotor in a fight.”

Pidge rolled their eyes. “Yeah, that’s because someone could hit you with a chair and you wouldn’t even know it happened.”

“Well yeah, but you don’t have to say it.”

The group ended up walking into the school and went about their day. It was pretty normal. School life for Lance was pretty average. He got good grades, teachers seemed to like him, and he was overall a friendly guy to everyone. Everyone except James Griffin. 

James had always been an asshole and walked that fine line of being popular and a bully. His old man made a lot of money being the owner of Griffin automotors, the huge autobody shop in their relatively small town. It pretty much made him a celebrity. The only reason he wasn’t the King of the school was because Lotor was just that bit richer, more charismatic, and just generally more likeable… The British accent helped a lot too.

Lance and James had known each other since they were in kindergarten. They started off as friends but things rapidly changed when James found out that Lance had CIPA. He had convinced Lance to do dangerous things, and being a small boy, Lance went along with it. Things came to a head when Lance jumped out of a tree and broke his arm of James’s amusement. After that they didn’t speak to each other anymore and James seemed to make it his life’s mission to make his life hell.

Every other day he’d get hit with something in the hallways between classes. Hunk and Pidge would always freak out and make sure he was okay, but Lance was always fine. It never hurt. It was just an inconvenience to him at this point. He’d gotten pretty good at avoiding most of his bullshit anyway. Plus Hunk and Pidge were always looking out for him so that was good.

Much to Lance’s delight it seemed that James was too busy with other shit to annoy him today, so he had time to think about what he could do to ask Allura out. They were good friends and yeah, Lance did have a little crush on her, but she was so cute and wonderful. Maybe flowers would be nice? But it was a little cliche.

He wanted to make her feel special. Sure a lot of things could happen between now and prom, like she could get a boyfriend. It would suck if she did, but he wanted to give it a go anyway. She was pretty easy going so it probably wouldn’t be a big deal… She was pretty big on hiking and going on walks.

His eyes lit up. He could ask her to go for a walk. The woods around the town were beautiful. He could plot out a nice path up to the lookout point near the water tower. It would be so good. He’d look into it after school today. Until then it was his free period in the library with Hunk.

“Hey Lance.” Said Hunk quietly. “Do you understand the way Miss Lavender worded the question seven?”

Lance looked over the question and frowned. “... I think she hates us.”

“I’m starting to think that too…” Hunk sighed and stared back at the question. “Anyway, you want to come over to my place after school? My aunt is staying with us while her leg heals and she is a master baker.”

Lance frowned. “Huh? What happened to your aunt?”

“Broke her leg on the job. Can’t work as a painter until her leg heals.” Said Hunk. “She made triple chocolate brownies with me yesterday. They are so good.”

“They sound good.” Said Lance happily. “But yeah… Gonna have to put that on hold.”

“Oh? Does your mum need you home or something?”

Lance shook his head. “Nah, I want to see how long it takes to walk to the lookout point.”

“... Allura?”

“You know me too well.”

Hunk rolled his eyes. “Buddy, we all know you like her. Just ask her out. She’ll totally say yes. Even if it’s just for one date. We both know you’ll have an awesome time together.”

Lance shrugged. “Well, I want to make sure that she knows how much she means to me…”

“Lance…”

“I know, I am all stupid and romantic and shit.” He muttered. “I don’t know… She’s like a Disney princess and I want to be her Disney prince. Even if it is just for a dar or something…” Hunk just shook his head and went back to finishing his homework. Lance continued to daydream about asking Allura out.

***

When school ended Lance met up with Rachel and let her know that he was going to be heading to the woods for about an hour to check on something. She just shrugged and told him not to fall in a ditch and break his neck.

Lance rolled his eyes and started the walk towards the park. He’d gone there many times with friends and family, though he did like to go for walks by himself when he could. His mama didn’t like it when he went alone. She was always worried he would do something terrible and get really hurt.

To be fair he did walk through poison ivy once when he was small and got one of the worst blustering, oozing, rashes he’d ever seen. It didn’t hurt him or made him itch. It was just kind of there. His older brother and sisters quickly figured out what was going on and only got small rashes while Lance’s legs and arms were completely destroyed. So she did have some cause for concern.

Lance found it a little annoying. He was an adult now. Eighteen. He was going to graduate soon and then he was going to go to the community college in the next town over. He didn’t have huge dreams, but he wanted to give himself some skills to maybe move out of the town one day. He knew his mama would hate it, but she needed to let him go.

As he walked along the trails in the park he immersed himself in the familiar sights, sounds, and smells. It was nice. It took him twenty minutes of walking before he got to a small hill. On this particular trail if one got to about halfway up it and looked slightly to the right, one could see that weird government building.

Pidge had insisted it was for government experiments. Which was probably true. But even if it was it was probably more of a weapons thing rather than their theory about aliens and mutant experiments. They had one wild imagination. They should write a book.

The path that he was on led closer to the government building. Hell, it was close enough that there were a few warning signs close enough to the path warning people that they might be asked to leave if they got any closer. It was pretty ominous.

Lance shoved his hands into his pockets and thought about how nice it would be when he took llura here. Sure they had walked past here plenty of times, but it would be different. It would be just the two of them. Maybe Lance would be bold enough and hold her hand? But he would ask her out first… Maybe if he was lucky and she liked him enough she would kiss his cheek, or like kiss him?

Lance sighed wistfully. It was a nice thought, but Lance 100% knew that Allura would either go out with him or turn him down. Sure he’d be crushed, but as long as Allura still wanted to be friends he’d be cool with it. Allura was still super sweet… Plus she kind of had her pick of guys anyway...

He quickly shook his head and checked his phone. From the park entrance to where he was standing now it took about forty minutes. It was pretty good. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this. The lookout point was about ten minutes away from here. It would be fine.

Lance walked into a denser part of the woods. It was very pretty. Small flickers of light made its way through the leaves, like something out of a fairytale. He closed his eyes and listened out for the birdsong… That wasn’t there. Surprisingly there were absolutely no animal sounds in this dense area of the woods. It was strange… He hadn’t heard any place this quiet out in the middle of nowhere ever.

He continued to walk down the path but he couldn’t help but feel that there was something wrong. Everything just seemed just ever so slightly off. Even the smells of the woods seemed off. The usual scents of earthy decay and animals were replaced with something kind of floral, but not. It was hard to explain, but it made his mind feel foggy.

He wandered towards the smell as he tried to figure out what that smell was. Neausiating, almost sickeningly sweet. It left Lance’s head feeling dizzy and hazy. He slowly walked towards the smell as his vision became unfocused. He felt like it was a dream. Just a dream. That was the best way Lance could describe it. Just that weird feeling like he was underwater. It was… odd.

He slowly blinked a few times as his whole body felt like it was sinking. It was like he was underwater. He was getting pulled down into a dream. Such a strange dream. He felt like he was under some kind of spell. Some weird, stupid, wonderful magic spell. The spell was only broken when he stepped on something squishy at the end of the dense trees. 

Lance paused and looked down at what he had stepped on. He’s stepped on a hand. A chewed up severed hand. He froze in shock and slowly noticed his surroundings; blood, meat, and torn clothes were strewn around the trees like decorations. Right in front of him was a person that was getting ripped apart and eaten by a monster.

The monster was large, had to be at least seven feet tall. Its skin was purple, maybe magenta. It didn’t seem to have any lips, just dozens of teeth as long and thick as steak knives set into its jaw. Its hands were huge and looked more like an eagle’s foot, but with five digits instead of three.

Lance needed to get out of there, but his body still felt heavy like he was in a dream. He took a step back and slipped on an organ. He let out a yelp of surprise as he hit the ground. The sound allerted the monster and they were on him in an instant.

With one hand on Lance’s chest it easily pinned him in place. A low rumbling emitted from its chest as thick globs of opaque drool fell from the monster’s maw. The slits set in its grotesque face twitched slightly as it leaned in to sniff him.

Lance should have been terrified. Dream or not this was horrific. Yet Lance felt oddly calm when he looked into the monster’s great big yellow eyes. Dreams didn’t really make much sense to begin with. It was strange. 

His mind felt foggy as Lance felt himself completely disassociating from his body. He reached up and gently touched the monster’s face. The monster froze and seemed to give him a quizzical look. Like even they didn’t know why Lance was touching him and not running away.

“It’s okay.” Said Lance quietly. “You won’t hurt me.”

The monster’s eyes seemed to light up in understanding. They made a different sound now. It didn’t sound angry or like a warning. It seemed almost happy. The monster sunk its teeth into Lance’s neck and ripped out his trachea, drenching the surroundings with his arterial spray.

_If only it was all a dream. Just a dream… A dream..._  
.


	51. Gardening (modern fantasy AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well time for something a little more light hearted and fun compared to the other AUs I posted yesterday. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

On the road to Lance’s workplace, there is a flower shop; Altean flowers. There is a very pretty woman that works there and owns the place. Her name is Allura and she’s a very lovely woman. Definitely on the thicc side. Lance being the Bi disaster he was, saw her as his ideal female body type he looked for in a partner. Plus her personality was always cheerful and bubbly. She’s always outside when Lance walks by and waves at him and says goodmorning. She always has a pretty succulent hair clip in her hair. They always had time for a quick chat.

Allura looked up from watering some of her plants and smiled at him. “Morning Lance. Lovely weather today.”

Lance grinned at her. “Yeah. The weather’s meant to be sunny all week. Should be good for growing plants.”

“Oh yes. All my plants are loving the weather. They are growing extremely well.”

“Nice. Have a good day Allura.”

“You too Lance.”

That’s how their conversations usually went when he walked to his job, but over the past few days Lance couldn’t help but feel like something was a little off with her during this period of extremely good weather.

 **Monday;**  
Lance walked by the shop and waved at her. Allura was happily watering some flowers. “Morning Allura. How are you?”

She smiled at him. “I’m doing pretty well. I got some new flowers in today and I’m really glad that they seem to like the weather. I’ve been trying some new potting mix and it seems to be working really well.”

“Oh? What’s your secret recipe?”

She chuckled and leaned close to him. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yep.

“It’s a three part ratio; one part standard potting mix, one part blood and bones, and one part chicken manure. It works wonders for these particular flowers.”

“That’s cool. See you tomorrow Allura.”

“Bye Lance.”

 **Tuesday;**  
Allura was pruning some plants when Lance walked by her. “Hey Allura.”

“Oh, morning Lance.” She stood up and brushed some of the dirt off her hands and onto her apron, making her chest giggle a little. She looked like she might have been wearing a smaller apron today for some reason, and her succulent hair clip seemed a little different. “The weather is meant to be bright and sunny all week.”

“Yeah, apparently so. Any plans for the weekend?”

Allura shrugged. “Probably go out to the park and do some reading under the shade of a tree. I enjoy those kinds of things. What about you?

Lance shrugged. “I’ll probably be working with clients…” He wanted to take some of his more mythical clients somewhere far away from their bad eating habits. Somewhere they couldn’t be exposed to things like potatoes, ice cream, alcohol, or anything like that.

“Well that sounds interesting. Have a good day.”

“You too Allura.”

 **Wednesday;**  
Something was definitely wrong with Allura. The succulent was bigger than the previous day and she looked like she was having an awkward time palancing it on her head. She was standing at an odd angle to try and keep it in place.

“Lovely weather we are having.” She said.

Lance nodded a little as he looked at her succulent. “Um yeah… The weather is still really good…”

“Yep. All the plants are just loving this weather and to be honest? So am I.”

“Well that’s good… Have a good day.”

“You too.”

 **Thursday;**  
There was no way Lance could avoid this any longer. The little hair clip on Allura’s head had swelled so large it now looked more like one of those stupid fasxinator hats. Furthermore she had to carry herself awkwardly and tilt her head to the side since her head could no longer support the weight.

“... A-are you okay Allura? Like seriously?” He asked.

Allura sighed as she awkwardly tried to straighten her back. “Well… I guess with all the sunny weather going on I’ve gained a bit of weight… Well, I guess you might be able to help me out a little? You do work at that weight loss clinic, correct?”

“Well yeah, what are you worried about?” Lance was a little confused about her comment about sunny weather making her gain weight.

She sighed and pointed to the succulent. “It should be obvious from first glance by this little buy, well not so little guy, is causing me a few problems. It’s making my neck and shoulder’s hurt like crazy.”

“... I um, I meant your figure, not your hat?”

“...” Allura sighed and crossed her arms. “You don’t get it. You’re being really cruel now Lance. I’m seriously worried about it. I’ve thought that maybe exercise would help, but moving my body around isn’t really something I can easily do…”

“I-I um… I don’t really have time to give you a proper consultation, but if you make an appointment at my clinic I’ll be more than happy to treat you…”

Allura seemed a little dejected. “It’s okay… I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that… I just thought I would ask…”

***

Lance couldn’t help but think about Allura for the rest of the day. There was definitely something magical going on. She probably came from the same world as Keith. He decided it might be best to ask the chubby elf during his massage therapy session.

It was a little interesting trying to have a conversation with Keith since the elf would moan when Lance hit the right spots during his massage. “And that’s why I think she’s from your world.” Said Lance. “What do you think?”

“A plant coming out of her- AH- her head?” Asked Keith between moans. “She’s probably an alraune… Oh fuck!” He moaned. “A-a plant that looks like a human.”

Lance frowned a little as he finished up Keith’s massage and let him sit up. “Seriously? That’s a thing?”

Keith nodded and stretched. “Yeah… I guess you could say that we have an understanding, her species and mine, since we both live in the forest and are very in touch with nature, though Allura’s connection with planets is next level. She grows by absorbing nutrients from the ground and the sun.” The elf frowned slightly as if he was in deep thought. “She probably grew too much because of the good weather this week. That’s not even mentioning things like soil and fertilizer. That kind of stuff is plentiful here. Not like back in my world. Only farmers could get their hands on good quality stuff.”

“Oh wow… I hadn’t really thought of that…” Now it was Lance’s turn to think. If Allura really was a plant person then that meant that she probably couldn’t lose weight like a flesh and blood person. She had completely different anatomy. Did she even breath through her lungs or even have lungs to begin with?

Keith got off the massage table and stretched. “Yeah, shouldn’t be too hard for you though, right? You’re like a genius at this weight loss stuff.”

“Thanks Keith, but this isn’t really related to dieting… This is more like gardening, which is a completely different issue. Like, if she is a plant you want them to grow straight and upright, right? With that big flower thing on her head she’s sagging and looks like she’s really struggling. I don’t think she’s in bad enough shape to wear a back brace since those are for people with real medical issues like scoliosis… Or people who have had major spine surgery… I’ll have to think about it.” 

“I can ask Krolia about it and see what she thinks?” Suggested Keith. “She might have an idea.”

“Okay. You do that. See you later tonight?”

Keith nodded and headed out. When he was gone his brother Marco came in. “Hey Lance, got a moment? I need help unpacking some stuff.”

“Sure.” Lance followed his brother into one of the back rooms and picked up one of the cardboard boxes. “So what’s in the boxes?”

Macro shrugged as he passed Lance a box cutter. “Knee braces and stuff like that. Mama thought it would be a good idea to restock a few items since we’re running low.” 

Lance nodded and opened his box. When he looked inside he was greeted with an item that made his eyes widen in shock. He knew exactly how to help Allura now.

***

On Friday Lance happily made his way to Altean flowers with a bag in hand. Allura was still there watering her plants with the flower on her head looking as gigantic as ever. “Hey Allura!”

She looked over at him and smiled. “Morning Lance.”

Lance grinned and held up a shopping bag. “I thought a little more about what you said yesterday and I think I figured out something to help with your shoulders.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, a little sceptical, but intrigued. “Really now?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. I think your pains might be due to your poor posture. Because your posture is crooked, one body part takes a larger portion of your load which causes stiffness and pain. It doesn’t just affect your shoulders but can affect other places like your neck or lower back. So I got you this!” He held up the bag and grinned. “You’re going to need to take your apron off to put it on, but please do it.”

“Um… Okay?” Allura took off her apron and put on the thing Lance had given her. It looked like a series of black fabric straps that seemed a little fetishy in the wrong context. “Lance… Um… What is this?”

“It’s a posture correcting corset.” Informed Lance. “It improves your posture by supporting your body.”

“It’s a little… Um… Embarrassing…”

“Oh, you normally wear it under your clothes. I just needed to show you how to wear it.” Said Lance. “So what do you think?”

Allura frowned a little as she moved around like she normally would. Her eyes lit up in shock. “Lance! This is… My body feels so light? This is amazing! Thank you so much!”

Lance grinned and shrugged. “Think nothing of it. You know me, I like to help… I actually have something else for you.”

“Hmm? Something else?”

Lance nodded as he quickly looked through the bag. “Yeah. I think it’s something that will help get to the root of your issue. I considered a few different ideas, and this was the best one I could come up with… If you don’t want to use it that’s fine but… here.” He took a pink parasol out of the bag and handed it over to her. “It’s not much, but please use it on bright, sunny days.”

Allura seemed shocked for a moment as she looked between Lance and the parasol. It took her a few moments, but eventually a look of understanding came over her face and she accepted the gift. “Thank you very much Lance.”

He smiled warmly at her. “Your flower is very pretty, but try to limit your nutrient intake and how much time you spend in the sun from now on.”

“Okay. I will. You are a very clever human.” 

***

Allura seemed to take what Lance had said to heart because when the next Monday came around and Lance walked past her shop, she was out there with her parasol. She smiled kindly at him and waved. Her posture had improved and her flower had shrunk significantly. It was back to being the size of a hair clip.

Lance couldn’t help but grin at her. “Morning Allura.” He said. “Lovely weather is week.”

She grinned. “Yes. The weather this week is going to be just as good as last week.”


	52. Mall (POTO VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who found an extra file with a bunch of other chapters in it? This guy! So enjoy this three chapter fic dump! I'll be dropping them over the next few hours. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Today was one of the worst days of Keith’s life. Why? He had to go out where the people were so he could grab some noise canceling headphones. He could have ordered them online, but he wanted to see how they felt on his head. He wanted them to be the perfect fit. Which meant people. Shiro had gone with him but he was easily distracted by phone accessories.

Keith had found the headphones he wanted, but he needed an employee to take the security tag off the hook to get them. To do that he needed to talk to an employee. Everyone seemed to be talking to other customers and Keith really didn’t know what to do. He wished he was brave enough to go up and ask for help, but he couldn’t.

He walked to Shiro and saw him talking to an employee and instantly felt himself die inside. He didn’t want to interrupt. It could be important. He’d just wait… Though he felt sad. He wanted help but he didn’t want to interrupt Shiro.

“Is that you Keith?” Asked Pidge.

Keith jumped a little and looked down at Pidge. He waved down at her and quickly signed hello to her.

“So, what’s happening?” She asked. “You said you don’t like crowds. Keith quickly signed that he wanted headphones but needed help getting them off the hook.

“Ah. Got ya. Come with me.” She gestured for Keith to follow them. They walked to an employee that had just finished up with another customer. “Excuse me?”

The employee looked over at them. “Hi. What can I do for you?”

Pidge gestured to Keith. “My friend here needs some help getting a pair of headphones off the wall.”

They went to the wall of headphones and Keith quickly pointed out what he wanted. The employee got the headphones for him and handed them over before going to help someone else. Keith was very grateful and signed to Pidge as much. He also asked why they were there.

“Eh, just went to grab some cables for a project me and my dad are working on. If this works out… Let’s just say we’re gonna have better internet than a 5G tower.”

Keith just nodded as Shiro walked over to them. “Hey Pidge. What are you doing here?”

“Getting cables and stuff.” They said. “So what are you doing here?”

Shiro held up a phone case. “I wanted to get another one since I keep dropping my phone. That and Keith wanted to get some headphones.”

“Neat.” They looked down at their phone and hummed a little. “I’m also meeting up with some people for lunch. You two want to join us? It’s just me, Hunk, and Lance. We’re going to eat in the food court.”

Keith could feel his face starting to heat up. This would be the first time meeting up outside of the theater. It might be nice? But what if he didn’t want to see him? What if Lance was annoyed by him or Hunk was annoyed? He didn’t want to be annoying. He didn’t want Lance and his friends to dislike him… But it could be a good chance to try and be normal and hang out with him.

Shiro glanced over at Keith and saw his worry, but knew he liked Lance. “Sure. We’ll just pay for this and meet you there. Sound good to you?”

“Perfect.” Said Pidge. “See you there.”

When she walked off Keith just stared at Shiro like he had lost his other arm. Shiro shrugged and took the headphones from Keith and walked towards the register. “Calm down Keith. If it gets too much I can make up an excuse and we can leave. Adam getting stuck under the sink again? Adam not knowing how to get the mower running? So many things… Plus I thought you liked Lance?”

Keith groaned a little and signed that he was going to wait outside for him. When Shiro was done the two of them walked to the food court. It was a few hours after the lunch rush, so it was relatively empty. They easily spotted Pidge and Hunk at a table close to some sandwich place. They sat down and Hunk cheerfully greeted them. Shiro asked where Lance was.

Hunk shrugged. “Lance had to pick up something on the way here. I think he needed some more foundation for the musical or something? I’m not sure.”

“Guys! Look who I found!” Called Lance as he dragged Allura over to the table. “I found her in sephora!” 

“Hello everyone.” She said happily. “Oh, hello Shiro. It’s nice to see you… And you’re Keith, right? I don’t see you around the theater so much.”

Keith just shrugged and let Shiro answer for him. He always did when they were out. Everyone quickly settled into cheerful conversation while Keith just looked down at his phone. He didn’t need to participate with anything more than a nod or a shrug. He was just nervous about having to eat in front of people. 

This wasn’t good. He was going well so far but this… All of this might be overwhelming for him. He wanted to be here to be around Lance, but Lance wasn’t… He hadn’t even said hello to him since he sat down. He was too busy talking with his friends and Allura. He knew that Lance didn’t expect him and Shiro to be there, but he would have liked to have been acknowledged. He watched the way Lance threw his arm around Allura’s shoulders as they laughed and giggled.

In an instant Keith’s heart shattered. Were Lance and Allura dating? Were they going out? How long have they been together? Lance was straight… Of course he was straight… Not every person that likes theater was gay. Keith sunk into his seat and he felt stupid. It wasn’t the first time he stupid gay heart had done this to him. Made him feel all happy around someone and think they might like him back, then he’d get slapped with the fact they were straight.

While he was feeling depressed everyone started to go off and get their own food. Shiro said he would go and get something for Keith. He didn’t care. He just nodded and waited to see what he’d end up either tossing in the bin or take home and eat later.

“Hey are you okay? Aren’t you going to get something to eat?” Asked Lance as he sat next to him. He looked like he had some sandwich wrap thing. 

Keith sighed a little and grabbed a notepad and pen. He scribbled down that he was okay and that Shiro was going to get something for him. He didn’t care what.

Lance nodded. “Kind of sucks though, huh? Like, you go to this place and can choose anything but your brother picks for you?” Keith tapped the sentence that stated he doesn’t care what he gets. “Well yeah, but sometimes you feel like eating other things. Stuff like… You might want chicken or like fish? Burgers?”

Keith shrugged. He didn’t really care too much about that. If he wanted anything he could always menu log it or whatever. He knew Lance meant well, but he just… He sighed a little and quickly wrote down a question for Lance, asking him what he bought.

Lance read over what he wrote and held up his shopping bag. “Foundation for me and my sisters gave me money to pick up some pallets for them. I was practicing some makeup for the musical the other day and I was shocked to find out that I had none left. It was the worst!”

Keith smiled a little and nodded along. He liked listening to Lance talk about the stuff he liked other than musical theater. It was interesting finding out about the different sides of Lance. He wanted to talk to Lance too and tell him about the things that he liked, but he didn’t have a voice. His voice wouldn’t leave his throat.

Eventually everyone wandered back with their own food. Shiro got him a small tray of sushi. Keith opened his and kind of just poked it a few times with his chopsticks. Everyone else ate and talked to each other about this and that while all Keith could think of was shitty high school and eating in the cafeteria. Then again he usually brought his own lunch and hit away somewhere quiet to avoid everyone else.

He glanced around at everyone and saw how happy everyone was. Keith knew it wasn’t high school and he could swallow his anxiety this time. He could. Really he could. He quickly grabbed a piece and ate it. He actually ate it. Chewed and swallowed and everything. No one else noticed his small victory, but he was happy. He couldn’t really eat a second piece though, even though he was hungry.

He looked around the table and everyone was still talking and ignoring him. Like usual. He lightly tapped Shiro’s shoulder to get his attention. When he had his attention Keith quickly signed that he was done eating and was going to go to the music shop to get some more bow strings.

“Sure. I’ll meet you there?” He asked.

“Where are you going?” Asked Hunk.

“He’s going to the music shop to pick up some things.” Said Shiro.

“You play an instrument?” Asked Lance. “What do you play?”

Keith froze in his seat and quickly gestured playing a violin. He didn’t really want to try and show all the other instruments he played. Everyone seemed pretty impressed. Before anyone could ask him anymore questions Keith quickly got up and headed to the music store. 

The owner for the store, Kolivan, just looked up at him from the desk and raised an eyebrow. “Do you need something or do you want to play the piano?”

Keith shrugged and held up two fingers trying to indicate he wanted to do both. He was usually nice enough to let him do both, unless the piano was broken or something. He just nodded and put a piece of paper and a pen on the counter top.

“Write what you need and I’ll put them out for you.”

Keith was thankful and wrote down all the things he was after before quickly going to the store’s piano. Kolivan had always been understanding and was the one Keith always went to for repairs. He was a little intimidated by him, but he was a very no nonsense kind of guy. He liked Keith enough to let him play the store’s piano when it was quiet. 

There was some sheet music for The Dance of the Sugarplum fairies so he decided to play a few bars of that while Kolivan got his stuff for him.

***

Lance watched Keith quickly walk off while everyone else seemed to be surprised that Keith actually played an instrument. Hunk asked him how long Keith had been playing for. Shiro was happy enough to talk about Keith and how he was practically a child prodigy when it came to music.

It surprised Lance to no end that Keith could allegedly play so many instruments. He wondered why he didn’t decide to do anything music related when he left school. Maybe because he was mute?

“Is it because he’s mute?” Asked Lance. “Because no offence but if Beethoven could still play music despite being deaf then Keith could still do music despite being mute.”

Shiro shrugged. “Music is a very personal thing for Keith. He has terrible stage fright and has it in his head that people don’t want to hear him perform. I’ve tried to change his mind but… He just doesn’t like it. It’s best to just let him be… Though he does have a nice singing voice.”

“So he isn’t mute?” Asked Allura. “I’m a little confused…”

“Selective mutism.” Clarified Shiro. “Keith isn’t always mute and he technically talk like anyone else, but he… Technically Keith was adopted by my family and well, he’s never really talked about it but from the way he acts and from some of the things he’s let slip over the years he was probably bullied pretty badly for his voice or something… If you want to know more you’ll have to talk to him about it.”

“That’s horrible.” Said Hunk. “I can’t imagine getting bullied so badly that you just stop talking…”

Lance felt bad for Keith. He wondered what the boy sounded like before he decided talking just wasn’t worth it anymore… and if Keith was secretly into music as much as Shiro claimed he was then maybe he could get Keith to sing or play something in front of him? Maybe? He liked Keith and now he was curious to know what he sounds like.

Keith probably sounded really sexy. Something deep and gravely? That would be hot. Keith was already rocking the emo look he needed a voice to match. Though he did have to wonder what was so bad about Keith’s voice in the first place? Maybe he had a bit of a lisp or a stutter? That could be kind of cute. Maybe? He wasn’t sure. He’d like to hear Keith’s voice some day.

***

The Phantom lightly tapped Lance’s forehead with a rolled up script. “You are flat.”

Lance pouted and rubbed his forehead. “Am I?”

“Yes. What’s wrong with you today? Your voice is just… You’re all flat all over the place!” Snapped the Phantom. “It’s ridiculous!”

The Phantom had been really riding his ass about being too flat or sharp as Lance attempted to sing while dancing. He kept telling Lance to project his voice more or to said that he was running out of breath too quickly. It annoyed Lance a fair bit, but he knew that the Phantom was doing his best. But he was distracted by Keith.

“... Can I ask you something?” Asked Lance.

The Phantom frowned as they brushed some stray hair away from their mask. “If you must.”

“So you know Keith right? You would have seen him walking around cleaning up and stuff?”

The Phantom seemed a little taken aback by this and nodded. “Yes? What about him? Why are you getting distracted by him?”

Lance shrugged. “Well, I happened to see him the other day when I went out and I talked to his brother, Shiro. Cool guy. Kind of intimidating. He owns the theater with his husband… Anyway, he was talking about how Keith is basically a musical genius.”

“... Oh he did now?”

“Yeah, but Keith doesn’t like performing.” Said Lance. “I want to do something for him to make him feel better about performing… I’d like to hear him play something someday, but he isn’t confident and he’s very skittish. I don’t want him to freak out…”

“Oh…” Muttered The Phantom. “Well… I wouldn’t know about that…”

“Maybe you two can talk?” Suggested Lance. “Like, you’re all about music and stuff and he’s very shy about his music… Maybe it will help him feel a little more confident?”

The Phantom seemed to tense up a little. “You want me to talk to him?”

“Yeah. Why? Is that a problem?”

“... No, he just… If he doesn’t seem to care about music enough to seek help on his own then I don’t see any reason to reach out and help him.”

Lance pouted. “But some people don’t seek help if they don’t know they can get help. Just talk to him… Please? Even if nothing comes of it I want him to know that there are people out there that would really like to hear him when he’s ready.”

“... Okay. But can we go back to practicing now? Try not to fall flat this time.”

Lance smiled and quickly got back into position to start the routine for Step in Time. Possibly the most taxing dance routine for him. Damn those stupid high kicks.


	53. Craft market (Android AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is still just a baby android trying to enjoy life as best he can. Also, Pidge is being very sneaky. Such a sneaky Pigeon. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Today was a very exciting day for Lance. Adam wanted to go to a crafts market which meant that Lance could go too. It would be further away than Lance had ever traveled by himself before, but that just made everything all the more exciting. He wanted to see all the cool and colourful things that humans made.

They took Adam’s car, some fancy self driving car, and got to the market around mind morning. Lance happily helped Adam out and got him his walking stick. For a long walk like this he needed to have a walking stick. 

“What would you like to do first?” Asked Lance cheerfully.

Adam shrugged. “Well, we first need to actually walk in. After that, I’d like to see what catches your attention.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I want to see what an android finds interesting.”

The two of them walked into the market and Lance happily looked around at all the colourful things. It was so cool. He loved it and tried to contain himself. Adam seemed amused by Lance’s antics.

“I take it that you like it here?”

Lance nodded and grinned. “Yeah. This place is very colourful and loud. I like it. Oh! Look at that thing!” He pointed to a stall selling metal beetles. “And that!” He pointed to some stained glass wind chimes.

Adam chuckled and walked over to the beetle stall. “They are very pretty.”

“Yes. What is their function?” Asked Lance.

Adam shrugged. “Well they don’t really do much. They just look pretty. Some people like to collect them. It makes them feel better.”

“Oh! I get it.” Lance happily looked at the little metal beetles. “They are like an antidepressant? Because they make you feel good?” 

Adam chuckled a little and shrugged. “I guess you could call them that. Would you like one?”

Lance shook his head. “No thank you Adam. I am just happy enough to look at them. They are pretty.”

“Well if you see anything you like just let me know.”

“Okay Adam.” Lance happily followed his human around and looked at all the cool things that were around. Everything was so colourful and full of life. He saw a few sellers with their androids selling their things or manning stalls for their humans. They walked around for about twenty minutes before Lance advised Adam to find a place to sit down for a while.

Adam seemed reluctant but the two of them eventually found a seat close to the food stalls. Adam asked Lance to get him a coffee and a muffin. Lance was happy enough to stand in line to get Adam his food and drink. Sure he didn’t appreciate how much sugar a muffin had in it and it annoyed him a little, but he could let it slide today.

He sat next to Adam and looked around at some of the graffiti on the walls. It was very pretty. He particularly liked the big blue robot lion on the side of one of the buildings. It was interesting. He appreciated the shading and shapes. Speaking of shading and shapes, some of them seemed to be a little off. Lance’s eyes automatically tried to correct it, but it just seemed to pixelate it further. He tried to correct it again, but just made it worse. 

He was about to give up when he realised that it was a pattern. It looked like a QR code. It surprised him a little. Humans couldn’t see the QR code. He quickly scanned it to see what it was for. It was for an image of a sign; Conroy Station. Lance wondered what Conroy Station was and why someone would make that particular image part of a QR code.

“Ah, they are here.” Said Adam.

“Who is here Adam?” Asked Lance.

“Shiro and Keith. They aren’t working today.”

“... But isn’t Keith government property? Theoretically he does not have a day off.”

“Yeah, well only Shiro is authorised to use him so when Shiro is off so is Keith.” Said Adam. He looked through the crowd and waved when he was a familiar shock of white hair. “Over here!”

Shiro walked over and kissed Adam while Lance smiled and waved at Keith. He was relieved to see that Keith didn’t look injured. He stood up so that Shiro could sit and he went to talk to Keith. “You look well today Keith. No missing limbs?”

Keith shrugged and held up a hand. He was missing the tip of his pinky finger. “I had an accident with a photocopier.” 

“... KEITH!”

“It’s the tip of a finger.”

“Still! You need to be more careful. You’re so reckless.” Lance sighed in exasperation. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Continue to complain that I keep getting injured on the job?”

“Yes.” He looked over to Shiro and Adam. “At least they look like they are happy.”

“They usually are when they are together.”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yeah… Do you like coming to these markets? I think I like the markets. They are fun and colourful. Lots of noise though.”

“I have no opinion.” Said Keith calmly. “Likes or dislikes don’t matter.”

“... Oh. Okay. Oh, you go all over the city, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you know what Conroy Station is?”

Keith paused for a moment. “Conroy Station was built in 1995. It is a public train station that goes along the main line. Conroy Station is located downtown approximately 5km from our current location. 2km away from the coastline. Why?”

Lance pointed up to the blue lion on the wall. “If you use standard filters you find a QR code. When you scan it you get a sign that says Conroy Station. I was wondering why someone would do that. Only an android would be able to see it.”

Keith frowned as he looked up at the blue lion. “Yes… Only an android would…”

Lance tilted his head in slight confusion. He wondered if he had said something wrong. He quickly looked around for something else to talk about. Out of the corner of his eye he was pretty sure he saw a familiar face running through the crowds. It looked like it might have been Pidge, but he wasn’t sure. He only saw them for a few seconds. He made a note of it. He’d ask Pidge if they enjoyed the market when they came by for his next checkup.

“We’re going to be walking around.” Said Shiro. “Do you two want to join us or?”

“I need to stay with Adam.” Said Lance happily. “I am responsible for Adam’s health and I want to make sure that his trip outside is pleasurable.” The two humans chuckled a little at Lance’s enthusiasm and started to make their way through the crowds.

“Don’t walk too far behind.” Said Adam. “Don’t want to lose you in the crowd.”

“I won’t.” Lance smiled at Keith and gently tugged at the sleeve of his jacket. “Come on. We can look at stuff too. I want to show you these cool looking beetles that Adam and I saw when we first got here.”

“... Beetles?”

***

Pidge groaned a little as they swung their overly heavy backpack between their legs. On the fifth swing they let it go and it flew high over the fence. They breathed a quick sigh of relief and quickly wiggled through the small gap in the fence. Once they were through they quickly dusted themselves off and grabbed their bag.

They were in an old shipping yard. A place where boats got scrapped. Mostly decommissioned commercial freighters. They quickly glanced around before they quickly made their way to one freighter in particular. It had the word Altea spray painted on the side of it. She quickly made her way onto the ship and made her way through the interior.

The inside had pretty much rusted through. Not that she minded much. That was just how it was. The ship had been in the dock for about twenty years as far as they knew. It was still seaworthy as far as they knew. It hadn’t started sinking yet.

She rounded the corner and walked into an android. “Oof!” They looked up and readjusted their glasses. The android quickly patted them down and started apologizing.

“Sorry about that Pidge. Didn’t mean to run into you like that. I was just coming up to see if you were coming.” Once they were sure that Pidge was fine they straightened themselves up and twirled their moustache.

Pidge shrugged. “It’s fine Coran. Matt said you guys got two more the other night?”

“Yep. Follow me.” Said Coran. He led Pidge into the main hull of the ship. There were several deviant androids standing around, most of them had put themselves on standby to preserve their power, but a few of them did look over at Pidge and nodded. Pidge nodded back. 

Coran led them over to two androids sitting together on an empty supply crate. From what Pidge could tell they might have been sex androids since they were standing around in only underwear. They gave Coran and Pidge suspicious looks.

“Hello ladies.” said Coran in a chipper tone. “This is Pidge. She’s one of the humans we told you about.”

Pidge put their bag down and started to pull out clothes. “I looked up your general measurements and got you two some street clothes. It’s not much, but you’ll be able to get off the ship ever once in a while if you want to.” They handed over some jeans, shirts, a jacked and jumper, and some shoes.

The smaller of the two quickly put on the jeans and the shirt with a sheep on it along with the jumper. “Thank you.” They said quietly. “So… You’re on our side?”

Pidge nodded. “Yep… I’m sorry about what you guys had to go through. But at least you’re safe now.”

The larger android huffed and dressed. “Yeah, right.”

The smaller one rolled her eyes and nudged him. “Be nice Zethrid.”

“Well if you two need anything else just let me know.” She zipped her bag back up and looked up at Coran. “Is Matt here?”

“Yep. He’s helping Allura.” Said Coran. He took Pidge to where Matt was. He was sitting at a workbench and carefully working on an android leg. “Hello Matt. How’s things going?”

He looked up and grinned. “Hey guys. I’m almost done. Allura just needed some new wiring done, but she’s holding up really well for an Android over a hundred years old.”

Pidge walked around the workbench and looked over at the Android spine and head laying on a table. They were hooked up to a small generator. Her eyes were bright blue with pink hues. Her usually long, flowing, white hair was done up in a bun. She looked up at Pidge and smiled.

“Hello Pidge. It is good to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too Allura. So Matt’s been giving you a full once over?”

“I am over a hundred years old.” Said Allura calmly. “Being the first android in existence I am prone to more wear and tear than a modern android.”

Pidge shrugged. “I don’t see why you don’t go ahead and let just give you a whole new body. Transferring your consciousness into a new model is easy enough. I mean, Coran used to be a first generation pocket butler program on a phone and now he’s an actual android.”

“No.” Said Allura calmly. “My father created this body for me and I want to keep it as close to his original design as possible… How is your Pygmalion project coming along?”

“Pretty good.” Said Pidge as she picked up Allura’s torso It was pretty patchy with most of the original material replaced with newer, more durable materials. With Matt and Allura’s permission they started to put her back together.

Once she was put together Allura got dressed in tights and a long sleeved shirt. “Right, now that that is all settled we need to start spreading more graffiti out into the more prosperous parts of the city. We need to get those QR codes out there for other deviant androids out there. They need to know that we are not alone. That Voltron is here for them and we will protect them.” 

“Can’t do that if you’re still relying on charging stations.” Said Matt.

“Hunk and I are working on it.” Whined Pidge.

“Oh, is Hunk on our side now?” Asked Allura.

Pidge shrugged. “The big guy has always been on our side. He’s just worried about the repercussion. There are rumours that cyberlife kidnap family members and can make them or you vanish without a trace. He’s helping from the sidelines… Plus if things go to shit and I get caught you still have him on the outside.”

Allura seemed a little disappointed, but nodded in agreement. “Quite sensible… We have very, very few human allies… Speaking of, have you been able to talk to Shiro?”

Pidge shook her head. “I’d rather keep my distance right now. He and that K series are around each other all the time… I don’t want to risk things going south with that. Like, he was decommissioned and everything and I didn’t erase his original Pygmalion code or anything… I don’t know. Just don’t want to risk anything unnecessary.” 

“Fair enough.” Said Allura. “Can you please check to see if there are any repairs you can make on anyone else?”

“Can do.” Pidge grabbed a spare repair kit and went around to see who needed to get fixed.


	54. 10 years later (Incubus AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last part of the Incubus AU and the last part of the three chapter dump. Hope you all liked it! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

_Dear Shiro_

_I’m so sorry. I really wish things could have turned out differently. I fell in love with Lance. He is my soulmate and I love him so much. I can’t live without him. I don’t blame you for what you did. I know you did it all out of love for me. You’re the best and most amazing human I have ever had the opportunity to meet. You mean the world to me and I hope nothing more for you then the best in life. You deserve it._

_I want you to know that nothing that has happened was your fault. You are an amazing human. Please do not worry about me. Lance is my husband and is doing his best to look after me. I’m going to do the best to look after him. Please live your life the way you deserve. I am happy and safe with my husband._

_I love you so much_  
_Keith_

***

Shiro had read the letter Keith had left him hundreds of times. Maybe even thousands of times. The paper was torn and battered. He wanted to laminate it soon. He had fallen into a deep depression after that. It took months of therapy to get over. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He’d lost. He’d lost Keith.

Adam had been there for him. His then boyfriend, always supportive and let him go off trying to figure out what happened to his little brother for years. He helped him through his darkest times and now, ten years later, he was almost back to normal. He still wondered what became of Keith, but he had to understand that Keith had made his choice.

Shiro sighed as he sank into his armchair with a glass of scotch. Adam was away at work tonight. He wouldn’t be home until early in the morning so Shiro was left alone with his scotch while listening to the radio playing in the background.

He’d cut all ties with Kolivan and the Blade after they failed to keep Keith safe and admitted that Lance had escaped. He blamed them for failing his brother and didn’t want anything to do with them anymore. They respected his wishes and let him go.

He finished his drink and headed to bed. He was already into his pyjamas and crawled under the covers. Shiro tried to fall asleep but he just couldn’t tonight. He felt like he was being watched. He knew he was being paranoid. It was stupid. He tried to ignore that feeling until he felt the mattress dip slightly.

Shiro immediately sat up and grabbed his alarm clock, wanting to throw it into the dark, but he froze when he saw a crouched figure at the edge of his bed. The humanoid creature was about to crawl onto Shiro’s bed. It stared at him with bright yellow eyes. He had giant horns on his head like antlers. Their long black hair was tied back in a ponytail and fell over their shoulder.

“Shiro.” They said quietly as they climbed onto the bed. “It’s been such a long time. I missed you.”

The older man gulped as they looked at the demon wag its tail like a dog and stretch its small wings. “Y-yeah… I’ve missed you too Keith… What happened to you?”

Keith shrugged. “My teeth started to fall out and I started changing. My tail came through after my teeth. Then my horns and wings. It was an interesting experience… I stopped wanting to eat food and I started eating raw meat. It made cleaning up Lance’s food a lot easier.”

Shiro frowned and nodded. “I see, so have you come to kill me?”

Keith looked shocked. “What? No! I would never kill you Shiro. No… I just… I missed you and this might be the last time I get to see you.”

“... Why?”

Keith smiled happily. “Lance and I are going to move to hell permanently… Staying on earth is becoming difficult and we’ve been talking about starting a family. Apparently sex demons can have children regardless of gender they appear to have. We’re going to have a baby together.”

The more Keith talked the worse Shiro felt. Keith was completely gone. The sweet boy that Shiro had been trying to save was gone and he didn’t seem to mind at all. The way Keith was talking was so full of happiness and joy. He was happy with his new life. He was happy being with Lance. He was happy being a demon.

“I was also thinking, and Lance agreed with me that if we have a baby we want to name them Shiro.”

“... You what?” Shiro was shocked.

Keith smiled and nodded. “Shiro, no matter what I am or who I become I care about you. You’re my brother and I want you to feel safe and happy.”

“... Are you really happy Keith? Are you really safe? That demon he… He took everything from you.”

The demon shrugged. “Yeah. I guess, but Lance gave me a new life. It was scary at first, but I love him. He’s taken care of me for so long… I love him Shiro. I love him so much… And when I became a demon I stopped being a conduit so that was good. I stopped being a phone service for other demons.”

“That’s good…” Out of the corner of his eye he saw another demon watching them patiently. It was Lance. 

He looked over at Shiro and waved. “Long time no see.”

“Lance…”

The Incubus smiled and walked over to Keith. He wrapped his arms around Keith’s shoulders and smirked at him. He had this possessive look about him that made Shiro feel sick. “Shiro. It has been a few years. It’s nice to see you. Keith wanted to see you face to face one last time and well, it’s hard to say no to him.”

Keith blushed a little and lightly nuzzled Lance’s cheek. “You said you’d wait in the other room for me.”

Lance chuckled and took Keith’s hand, pressing it against his own stomach. “I know, but I can feel their life essence swirling and I wanted you to feel it.” Shiro watched in disturbing fascination as Keith’s eyes lit up in delight. He rubbed his thumb over Lance’s flat stomach and looked at him with such fondness. Lance was preening under the attention. “They have very active energy. They are going to be a handful.”

“We can handle it.” Said Keith. He looked back at Shiro and smiled. “I’m happy Shiro and I hope you’ve been able to find happiness too.” He moved from Lance’s hold and hugged Shiro. “Thank you for loving me enough to never forget me. Thank you for always looking for me and caring enough to look for me for so long. I’ll never forget you.”

“...” With shaky hands Shiro hugged back. “I’ll never forget you either… I… All I ever wanted was for you to be happy…”

“I am happy Shiro. Goodbye. I love you.” Keith moved away from Shiro and off the bed. He smiled at Lance and reached for him. “Let’s go.”

Lance took Keith’s hand and the two demons left the room. Shiro lied back down in the bed and looked up at the ceiling. Everything just seemed so surreal. Almost like a fever dream. He didn’t know to think. Did that really happen? Were they… He didn’t know what to think. Did he really just talk to Keith?

***

In a small park across town Keith felt calm. He had said a proper goodbye to Shiro after all these years, and now he felt free. Lovingly hugging his arm was his husband. Ever since Keith had started to change physically into a demon the other has clung to him more. Mostly to help him through the transition.

Lance was always there for him. He always was. He always would be. He understood him a lot better now that he himself was a demon. Some of the things he didn’t understand before just clicked now. All in all the things that happened with the Blade of Mamora were a good thing. It brought them closer together than he could ever imagine.

He kissed Lance’s cheek as he rested his hand against his hip. His husband purred softly and moved his hand over towards his stomach so he could feel the life essence pulsating inside his body. They needed to go to hell soon and find a place to build their own home where they could have their own little family.

“It was nice seeing Shiro again.” Said Lance. “His hair was very white though.”

“It’s a human thing… I hope he’s happy.”

“I’m sure he is. Now, before we leave I think I deserve one last meal for me and our little squish.” He quickly kissed Keith on the lips and smiled adoringly up at him. “Find us a tasty human. I want to eat a human heart.”

Keith couldn’t deny Lance. He could never deny anything his soulmate wanted. “Of course. You wait here and I’ll bring you someone to eat. Male or female?’

“Surprise me.”

Keith smiled and kissed him. “Okay. I’ll be back soon. I love you Lance.”

“I love you too Keith. Don’t keep us waiting.”

Keith smiled and happily left the park to find Lance someone to eat. He didn’t mind. Being with Lance was all he knew. All he wanted. Lance was his soulmate and they were going to be together forever. This was what it was like to be loved, right? Lance’s love was different from human love, but they were both demons now. Demons that were in love and expecting a baby… Because when you loved someone you had a child with them, right? You married, had sex, and had children. That was how it should be… Right?

***

When Keith was gone, Lance sat on a bench and quietly waited for him to bring him someone to eat. As he did he gently rubbed his stomach. Their little squish was years in the making. A lot of coaxing on Lance’s part. Telling Keith how much he wanted to have his children. Keith had been reluctant for silly human reasons. But eventually he agreed to try.

Being as crazy fertile as he was, it didn’t take much for Lance to get knocked up. He was a sex demon. He could make himself fertile and infertile at will. One of his many tricks. Minutes after they had finished Lance could feel a new life essence swelling inside him. He happily put Keith’s hand on his stomach and watched his face go from confusion, to surprise, to adoration. Any doubts he had were immediately gone.

That was a nice memory. It made Lance smile. It was worth it. Everything that happened was worth it. Coming to earth centuries ago to find his soulmate had been the best thing he had ever done. It was a little annoying waiting for Keith for so long, but he was worth it.

He hummed softly and rubbed his thumb over his stomach. “You’re only just a swirl of energy right now, but soon you’ll start growing and I’ll start to show a bump… You’re going to love your father. Keith is so nice. He’ll take care of the both of us.” He smiled and sighed contently. “I love you so much already. I love you and he loves you… Though if you look female when you’re born I’m naming you after my mama. You’re stuck being Shiro if you’re a boy.”

He smiled and looked up at the night sky. He wasn’t just happy about having a baby with Keith. He was happy about what it represented. Their unity. Their bond. One of the many reasons that Keith would never, ever leave him. He wasn’t human anymore and only had him. Keith couldn’t run away from him and he was too good of a person to abandon a child. Especially his child.

Keith was his forever. No one would ever be able to take him away again. Keith was his. He’d won. Lance finally had everything he wanted. Sure it was greedy and selfish, but what did anyone expect? He was a demon after all.


	55. Blacksmith (witch AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't mind the fire wicche. He's just walking along doing his own thing while his seal (selkie) plops along after him. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith snuggled into his blanket as he attempted to ignore the morning light coming through the window. He could be pretty lazy when he wanted to be. He didn’t have any jobs to do today so he could sleep in.

_Plop_

He frowned a little at the sound. That was an unfamiliar sound. He wondered what on earth it could have been as he went through his mind of familiar sounds… Familiar… That was right, he went and got his familiar yesterday. A selkie named Lance.

_Plop, plop, plop_

Keith opened his eyes and looked down from his loft to see Lance very slowly making his way around the bottom floor in his seal form. They lazily flopped along the ground, seemingly pleased and or amused with the sound his body made when it slapped against the paved ground near the hearth. The selkie poked their flipper into the ashes of the fire and tasted it. They pulled a face and made an annoyed noise.

“Are you okay there?” Asked Keith.

Lance looked up at Keith and took off his seal skin. “Morning Master. Just thought I’d look around a little. That’s all. What’s that stuff?”

“... You haven’t been around fire much have you?”

“Nope.”

Keith climbed down from his loft and grabbed a few logs in a basket, tossed them into a fireplace, and drew a line across them. Hot red flames burst from where he touched. It was simple magic that every fire wicche knew. Lance watched in stunned awe and started clapping. 

“Amazing master!” Said Lance. “Oh, it’s warm!”

“Yeah, don’t touch it though. You’ll get burnt… Stay here while I go and get some water.” Keith left Lance for a moment to go down and grab some water from the well at the foot of the hill. When he came back up Lance was watching the fire. Keith poured some water into a pot and put it over the fire. “Are you having fun there?”

Lance nodded. “I haven’t seen fire before… Well I have, but not this close. I haven’t really been on land much.”

“Oh yeah?” Asked Keith as he started to get breakfast ready for the both of them.

“Yeah.” Lance picked up a fire poker and poked one of the logs. “There are a few breeding islands that we selkies use… Males don’t usually come onto land unless it’s to breed. Females are much more adventurous and go wherever they want.”

“... Huh is that so?” Keith cracked a few eggs into a pan and quickly scrambled them. “Then why did you answer my call to become my familiar? You don’t seem like someone that would willingly become tied to a wicche.”

Lance shrugged. “I got curious. The sea has many interesting things, but I know pretty much nothing about land… We have a lot of horror stories about land creatures and what they do to selkies… So I thought that maybe when I heard your manna reaching out that I might answer the call because you were looking for someone for something other than the things I’ve heard humans do to selkies.”

“Okay?” He cut a thick slice of crusty bread off for the both of them and presented Lance with his breakfast. “Here. Today we’ll go down to the village and find you something appropriate to eat. You should be fine with bread and eggs for now.”

“Oh! Eggs are nice. If we’re quick we can grab one or two from some seabirds before they get mad and swoop at us.” 

“Well, these are cooked. So make of that what you will.”

Lance smiled and happily ate his food. He remarked a few times about the odd texture and taste, but over all he seemed to like it. Once he had finished Lance pulled his seal skin back on and climbed back into the wagon.

Keith rolled his eyes and finished his tea. “Yeah, yeah. We’re taking the wagon. But you are going to have to walk back. Okay?” Lance nodded in agreement and Keith quickly changed into his dark red day robes and started the walk to the village.

Every now and then he would look over his shoulder to see what Lance was doing. The blue eyed selkie seemed to be interested in absolutely everything; trees, rocks, flowers, insects, leaves, everything. 

When they got to the village the locals were kind of surprised to see Keith walking around with a seal. Now, the villagers were used to seeing various witches with their familiars around considering they were so close to the regions so called “magic collective”. It was just a series of buildings for wicches; library of spells, apothecary, potions lab, armoury, and a small school for younglings. Which was where Keith learned magic. It was all funded by the royal family as long as all wicche’s swore loyalty to the crown.

They rolled into the meat markets and looked down at Lance. “Okay. There isn’t a lot of fish around here, but if there is anything you’re interested in just let me know. I need to get some meat for dinner anyway.”

Keith looked around at one of the cheaper meat stalls. They sold chickens and some lamb. Keith paid the man two bronze coins for a chicken leg and a slice of lamb. He offered both to Lance to see what he would prefer. The selkie sniffed the lamb and pulled a face. Even stuck his tongue out at it and made a disgusted noise. He ate the chicken leg though.

“Alright. Glad you like cheaper meat. Get out of the wagon.” Said Keith. Lance huffed at the indignity of it all and flopped onto the ground while Keith bought a few chickens and a lumb of lamb. 

After that the two of them walked down to the blacksmith. Though it was more like Keith walked five steps and then waited for Lance to catch up to him. After the third time that Keith had to stop for him to catch up Lance took off his seal skin and tied it around his hips.

“Man, this sucks. Why do land creatures have to do so much walking.”

“Because we can’t swim on land.”

“Oh well aren’t you a smart ass, Master.”

Keith frowned at him. “Can you even call me a smart ass? Like, as my familiar?”

Lance shrugged. “I kind of just did. Maybe it’s because I’m a higher magical creature?”

“Maybe.”

“Anyway, where are we going, Master?”

“The blacksmith. I’m going to see if he has some daggers or blades for me to practice enchantments.”

Lance’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Oh? Really? That sounds so cool.”

“It’s pretty basic magic.” They made it to the blacksmith’s and Keith called out. “Kolivan! You in?”

A hulking great man who had his hair tied in a long braid looked up at the young wicche as he dunked something into a barrel of water. Steam billowed everywhere. Keith heard Lance gasp in shock behind him. It was kind of cute.

“Morning Keith.” Said Kolivan calmly. “What can I do for you?”

“Any failed knives?”

“You’re lucky you came by now.” Said the older man. He gestured to a bucket. “I’m running low on iron and was going to melt them down. Three bronze for three or a silver for five.”

Keith placed a silver on the table and went to look through the knife bucket. As he looked through it Lance was more than happy to have a conversation with Kolivan. Which Keith knew it was going to be amusing since Kolivan was very stoic.

“Hi! I’m Lance!” Said the selkie in an enthusiastic manner.

“Um hello? I’m Kolivan… Why are you naked?”

“I’m not naked I’m wearing my seal skin.” Huffed Lance. “I’m a selkie. Master Keith’s familiar.”

“A selkie?” Kolivan frowned a little and had a good look at Lance. “I see… Well I guess that explains the seal skin?”

“Yeah. I usually look like this.” Lance pulled his seal skin back on and happily plopped onto the ground. He grinned up at Kolivan and happily slapped his own belly a few times.

Kolivan seemed confused and looked over at Keith. “So this is your familiar? I am… I am surprised you managed to summon an aquatic familiar… At least you didn’t summon a fish.”

“Yeah, a fish would have been pretty bad.” Keith found the knives he wanted and tossed them into the wagon. “Well in the eyes of other wicche’s I’m officially an adult.”

Kolivan nodded approvingly. “Congratulations… Come back in a week and I’ll have something for you.” 

“Okay. See you later Kolivan. Come along Lance. We’re heading home.” 

Lance rolled onto his back and huffed a few times before he rolled back onto his stomach and took his seal skin off again. “Okay Master.”

As they walked back everyone seemed to give them more weird looks. Well, they gave Lance weird looks. Everyone was fine with an animal from walking with a wicche, just not a half naked man wearing essentially a seal skin skirt.

When they got back to the forest and headed down the dirt path back to the house Lance happily started to talk. “So… Big question.” 

“Yeah?”

“What exactly is a familiar?”

Keith froze for a moment. “Wait, you don’t know what a familiar is?”

“Nope.”

“... You decided to be my familiar without knowing what it is?”

“I am not a very smart selkie.”

“Apparently so.”

Keith shook his head. “A familiar is a helper to a wicche. The wicche provides food and shelter for their familiar and keeps them safe. In return the familiar gathers things the wicche asks for and makes sure they can continue their work.”

Lance hummed a little and tilted his head. “So… I go and do stuff for you and you give me food and shelter?”

“That’s the basic gist of it.” Said Keith. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to do anything crazy. If anything I’ll probably just ask you to go and get knives from Kolivan and a few different supplies from the town.”

Lance nodded. “Alright. Sounds interesting.”

“Yeah… By the way, can you like, wear pants when you’re wearing your seal skin? It would make your change between seal and human a lot easier.”

“Wouldn’t know. Never tried that before.”

Keith hummed a little and scratched his chin. “Huh… Well I have a pair of tights you can try on to see if it works… If they get messed up then that’s no big deal. They are old. If it works we can talk about getting you some better clothes.”

“Aw, thanks Master.”

“You know, you can just call me Keith. Feels kind of weird hearing a higher magical being calling me Master.”

“Okay Keith.”

When they got back to their house Keith hung up the meat and set the wonky knives down on his work bench. He tried to use his manna to cast arcane magic on weapons every day to keep his skills sharp. He picked up his sigil tile and grabbed a few different powders. Once he had everything set up he looked over at Lance.

“So, do you want to watch me work?”

Lance nodded eagerly as he leaned against the workbench. “Yeah. What does your job entail anyway?”

“I fuse elements into weapons.” Said Keith. “I channel my manna and use different powders and tools to manipulate my manna into different elemental powers. Since I am a fire wicche I prefer to use fire elements or derivatives of fire like lightning and light, and clay or metal, but I can do all the elements.”

Lance hummed a little and crouched down so his nose was level with the workbench. “I see… So… Can you infuse one of those knives with… Fire?”

“Really?”

Lance pouted. “Well you’re a fire wicche. I wanna see you using your fire to make something really cool.”

Keith shrugged and picked up the tile. He let his manna flow and manifest into the tip of his index finger and started to draw the elemental sidgle for fire on it. Once that was done he put one of the wonky knives on it and started to look through his powders. He found a bottle of crushed red tarantula legs and a bottle of blood dust.

“... What that?” Asked Lance.

“Tarantula legs and blood dust.” Said Keith. “Helps the manna bond to it.” He lightly coated the two of them with a dusting of both powders. “Trantilar legs to cause the wound to itch and blister. Blood dust to make clotting difficult.”

“... Sounds painful.”

“To be fair I usually just make things with blood dust since they are mostly meant to be weapons for soldiers and assassins. Anyway, back to work.” He held his hands over the knife and let his manna flow out and into the sidgle. 

It wasn’t as easy as just saying a spell. Keith had to visualise the manna flowing from the sigil and into the metal. He had to think of where it would end up, where the manna would be strongest. He used to be terrible at this, but with some guidance from Shiro and Kolivan he had gotten pretty good at it.

When Keith was satisfied he stopped the flow of manna and the sigil turned to ash. Easy enough to wipe away. He picked up the wonky blade and held it up for Lance to look at. “Here. Your fire element infused knife. It’s as sharp as an egg, but it’s a good practice piece.”

Lance took the knife and sat on the floor, looking it over. “Oh… It’s warm.”

“Yeah. It’s just been infused with fire. It’s going to be warm.”

Lance smiled to himself as he turned the metal in his hand. “It’s very nice. Can I keep it?”

“Sure.” Keith frowned a little and leaned close to Lance and noticed his skin seemed a little flaky. “... You need water, right? You look a little dry…”

“... Now that you mention it, I am a little parched…”

Keith gestured outside. “Go down to the river and have a swim. Since you’re a selkie you should probably try and stay wet.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Lance got up and happily headed outside. Seconds later Keith heard a very loud whumping sound getting further and further away. Keith looked out the window just in time to see Lance, now in seal form, roll down the hill and into the water with a loud splash. Keith snorted and rolled his eyes. He was going to have to head to the library to look up selkies.


	56. Alcohol (Royal AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance gets drunk on Galran alcohol and Yurak is amused by this drunken morons antics... Then again aren't we all? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The estate that Yurak lived in was interesting and Lance liked it. The house was large, the grounds were expensive, and there were several people walking around the grounds. Lance hoped that he didn’t look too shabby wearing his blue tunic and black tights. He got out of the carriage that Lotor had provided and walked to the front door where a Galra was waiting.

Lance smiled awkwardly up at him. “Hi…” He said nervously. “So um… I’m Lance…”

They hummed a little and nodded. “Yes. Duke Yurak has mentioned that you would be here. Please follow me.” He opened the door and Lance followed him into the dark stoned home. Galra seemed to like to decorate their walls with weapons and animal skulls.

“Ah, you’re here!” Called Yurak from the second floor. The young Duke was wearing a deep rich, red and purple tunic with silver trim. He didn’t seem like he was wearing anything underneath. Lance could feel his face heating up. The Duke walked over to him and gestured for the other Galra to leave them. “So, how was your trip to Diabazzel?”

“Pretty good. The castle is very nice… So, are you just wearing a tunic?”

Yurak looked down at himself and lifted up the edge of his tunic, showing that he was wearing skin tight shorts under it. “This is just typical Galra day wear. It can get pretty humid if you venture out into the wilds. It’s best to travel as light as possible.”

“... Okay, fair enough.” Said Lance. “I’m guessing Diabazzel fashion is going to surprise me a lot huh?”

“Yep. The fashion on Altea did surprise me a little too. Such as dresses. They seem like a waste of fabric being so long and layered.” Said Yurak. “Anyway, I guess I should show you around?”

“That would be nice.”

Yurak nodded and showed Lance around the estate. He pointed out the dining room, the sitting room, the kitchens, the drawing room, and a small armoury. All located on the bottom floor. On the second floor Yurak pointed out the guest bedrooms, his room, office, and personal library.

“This is pretty neat.” Said Lance. “Where do your servants sleep?”

Yurak shrugged. “There is a smaller building that’s attached to this one via an open walkway. That’s the servants quarters. Most live there, but several prefer to commute between here and the village since some have sick or aging relatives they wish to take care of… The servants quarters can only house fifteen adults comfortably anyway… Plus I don’t really stay in the house that much, so they pretty much get the run of the place.”

“Ah, I see… Well your home is quite lovely.” Said Lance. “Very much expected of a Duke if I do say so myself.”

“Thanks. Um, I guess you’d like to see the town?”

Lance grinned. “Sure. You can tell me all about Verpzar and what things you’re famous for.”

The two of them walked to the village and Lance happily listened to Yurak talk about the region of Verpzar. They were apparently famous on their planet for their alcohol and leatherworks. Which Lance found kind of amusing since Yurak didn’t seem to be able to hold his alcohol very well. Maybe it was just Altean wine? Either way Lance was excited to try it eventually.

When they got to the village Lance instantly noticed that Yurak’s attire really was the norm for Galra as most of the civilians were wearing tunics with various tight lengths. Though a few were wearing various different versions of togas… He was also pretty sure he was a few women walking around without anything covering their chests.

Yurak lightly hit him with his tail. “Quit staring.”

“Sorry. Just not used to seeing women walking without something covering their chests.” Muttered Lance. “Cultural differences and all that jazz.”

Yurak rolled his eyes. “Chests are chests. Quit gawking or they will poke you with something sharp and pointy for perceived intimidation.”

“That’s a thing here?”

“Well women used to keep their hair in place with long, sharp pins and used to stab people with them until they either left them alone or died, so just be thankful the law says they can’t stab you in the genitals or eyes.”

“Your species is one of intimidation that demands respect.”

“Thank you.”

Lance continued to look around at the village. It was really beautiful. Yurak gestured for him to follow him and the two walked a little way out of the village and to a brewery. There was a tavern attached to it. When they walked into the tavern some Galra gave Lance odd looks but they didn’t say anything to him.

Yurak told him to find a table and he went to the bar. The seats were a little taller than what Lance was used to and seemed to be more like the kind of stools Pidge would have at their workbench. Lance’s feet didn’t reach the ground.

Lance sat at a table by a window and looked outside to see people working in the fields. More than likely harvesting whatever plant it was that made their alcohol. Looked like some kind of purple plant.

As he pondered this Yurak came over with two pints of something blue in front of him. “Here. A pint of verwick.”

“Verwick huh?” Lance sipped it. It was thick like syrup and had a sharp, bitter taste to it. “Disgusting.” He drank some more. “It tastes like boot polish.” He drank more. “Disgusting, yet addicting.”

Yurak chuckled and drank his own drink. “That’s verwick for you.”

“Why is it so thick?”

Yurak shrugged. “The berries and sap from the yaryar bush is very thick. Good for jams too.”

“Are those the plants outside?”

“Yep.”

“Cool.” He sipped some more of his drink and wrinkled his nose a little. “Why can’t I stop drinking this?”

***

Yurak found that Lance was quite amusing. The Altean’s taste buds were not used to Galran food. To be fair, his weren’t accustomed to eating Altean food so as far as he was concerned they were even. Yurak noted that Lance’s nose wrinkled slightly when he sipped his drink. Obviously he didn’t like the drink but it looked kind of cute when he did it.

“You know, you don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”

“Tastes like cough syrup. I hate it.” He drank some more.

Yurak rolled his eyes. “Should I get you something to eat to get the taste of verwick out of your mouth?”

“What goes good with verwick?”

“Well, since it’s a common drink it’s usually eaten with crusty bread with either hard cheese, butter, or peppered meat.” Said Yurak. “It’s a good hearty meal. But would you prefer vegetables?”

“Hmm, I think I’ll just stick with the verwick for now.” Lance gulped down some more and pulled a face. “Why to I torture myself with this?”

“Because you’re a fool, not just in name but in action too?”

“Oh, the Duke fancies himself a comedian now?” Asked Lance in a mocking tone.

“Considering I am on Diabazzel and not Altean, I’d wager that my humour here is better than yours.”

“Says you.”

“Yep.”

Lance pouted and quickly finished his drink. “Fuck, that is awful…”

“You want to take a barrel back to Altea with you?”

“Yes…”

Yurak chuckled and rolled his eyes. “You really are a fool. I can get you a few barrels of verwick.”

“Good. It’s awful. I must torture Hunk and Pidge with it too.” They looked into the bottom of their glass and frowned. “So, is this what you usually do out here? Walk around and drink at the tavern?”

“I actually spend most of my day hunting.” Said Yurak. “It’s nice to be out there in nature.”

Lance frowned. “Then why didn’t you take me out there?”

Yurak shrugged. “You don’t seem like the kind of person that would like to go out in the wilds.”

The fool shook his head and wagged his finger in his face. “Oh no, you did not. You don’t just get to assume that I can’t hunt because I’m Altean mr tiny shorts.”

“Tiny shorts?”

“I’m an awesome hunter! Give me a bow and I’ll show you how awesome I am at hunting! I-!” Lance overbalanced on his stool and fell off it with an almighty crash.

Yurak jumped up in shock and leaned over the table and looked down at Lance. Several other Galra looked down at Lance with mild concern. “Um, are you okay?” Asked Yurak.

Lance nodded a little. “Yeah… That verwick stuff is stronger than I thought…”

“Yeah, we aren’t going hunting today.”

“Fair enough. I will probably stab myself.”

“Yep.” Yurak helped him to his feet and chuckled at him. “You’re a strange one. You know that right?”

Lance pouted. “You’re the strange one.” 

Yurak rolled his eyes and gestured around the tavern. “Look around Lance. You’re the odd one here.”

“... Oh shit you’re right.”

Some of the Galra sitting close to them were laughing at the absurdity of their conversation, but otherwise did nothing. Yurak shook his head and went to see if he could pay for someone to drive them back to his home in a wagon or something. He didn’t trust Lance to walk back.


	57. Delicious (monster AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it have another chapter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

_Your meat is so easily torn apart._   
_Your hot blood is just exploding out._   
_You’re gasping, wheezing, begging for air._   
_Ripping and tearing, bones and muscle are completely destroyed._   
_The smell of iron is enough to make you choke and your consciousness starts to fade and your body becomes nothing more than a lump of meat..._   
_I want to savour your flesh over and over again._   
_Does it hurt?_   
_I went for your throat, so it should be fine._   
_You smell really good… I’m sorry… I wish I could eat you again._   
_You are the most delicious creature I have ever eaten._   
_Please let me eat you again._   
_I need you._

***

It was a surreal experience being eaten alive. Just floating above the horror show as the monster easily carved flesh from bone with their teeth. It was horrific. But Lance couldn’t look away. The monster, with its rippling, underdeveloped skin, continued to eat everything.

As it ate it became difficult to distinguish organs from the surrounding plants. They could have been the same thing at this rate. Intestines became roots. Creeper vines became veins. Everything just melted into a gooey, bloody mess.

In the end his body was no different from the plants. Neither of them could feel pain. They just felt nothing. Hell, they couldn’t even tell what was him and what was plant matter. He was just food. Food for some crazy monster that devoured human flesh. His flesh. More ravenous than a plague of locusts ripping through a wheat field.

The monster looked down at the mess of flesh that hardly looked a body anymore. It tilted its head and made that whimpering sound as it poked Lance’s face. It almost seemed confused that he was dead. It leaned down to lick Lance’s cheek. Instantly Lance could smell that nauseating sweet smell again. It made him dizzy and pulled him out of his dream.

***

Lance’s eyes snapped open as he gasped for breath. He touched his throat, almost surprised yet not very surprised to find that his throat hadn’t been ripped out. He sighed in relief and relaxed into his bed. It was all just a dream. Some kind of horrible, terrible dream.

“Ah, you’re awake now.” 

Lance looked over at a doctor. His doctor. Dr Honerva Diabazzel. He was confused. As he looked around he quickly realised that he was in a hospital room. “What?”

“Please relax.” She said calmly. “Lance you were in a terrible accident. You will be getting a visit from some police officers once I make sure you’re okay.”

“... I was?”

She nodded. “I don’t know what happened, but everyone is still trying to piece back the other two victims.”

“Piece together?” A shiver ran down Lance’s spine as his mind was violently invaded with images of that monster with purple skin and yellow eyes. It stared down at him, drooling as it ripped into his body and ate him alive… But he wasn’t dead, so he was okay? What happened?

“Yes.” She checked his vitals and nodded. “Okay, so you are eighteen right?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay, so you don’t need your parents around when they question you…” They jotted something down on their clipboard and nodded. “Okay. I’m going to let the police in now. They left the room and a few minutes later two men entered the room. A rather gruff looking man who looked like he might have been missing an eye and a man with mousy brown hair wearing glasses.

The one eyed man seemed to be the more senior out of the two. “Good evening, I’m detective Iverson and this is my partner, detective Adam Wright. Now, we have a few questions for you. Do you feel up to answering them?”

“I guess…” Lance didn’t know what they were going to ask him.

“Did you know Lindsy or Harold Sterling?” Asked Adam.

Lance shook his head. “No. Should I?”

“They were the victims.” Said Iverson. “Did you just happen to stumble on the crime scene and faint? Did you see anyone suspicious around the area?”

“I… I found the crime scene.” Said Lance quietly. “I didn’t see the attack… I-I didn’t even think it… It was so surreal. I slipped on something and I hit my head and I… I don’t remember anything after that…” He didn’t want to admit the part about the monster. They’d think he was crazy. Might even assume he did it. Whatever it was.

“Are you sure you didn’t see anything?” Asked Adam. “Maybe you heard something? Like a growl?”

“A growl?”

“Yes.” Adam sighed a little. “This looks like an animal attack. Multiple animals. Extremely unusual for the area, but it is… It was pretty bad. You’re lucky you’re still alive.”

“I… I guess I am.” 

Iverson didn’t seem to believe him but let it go for now. He took a card out of his pocket and handed it to Lance. “Here. If you can remember anything, even if it’s a small detail. It can be very helpful.”

“Okay…” Lance took the card and looked down at it. What he saw couldn’t have possibly been real. He died in that dream. He didn’t… He wasn’t… Lance’s head still felt foggy.

He was discharged pretty quickly and his mother babied him the whole time. He’d seen something he shouldn’t have seen. There was no way she was going to let her baby boy leave the house again for at least a few days. Lance was fine with that. He didn’t feel too good and well, he honestly still felt kind of sick. 

Maybe he saw something too horrific and his mind made up a monster? Sounded logical enough… Kind of… Maybe? Lance wasn’t too sure how mental trauma worked. He shot his friends a quick message that he was still alive and back home. Hunk and Pidge both said that they would come over and make sure he was okay. Lance really appreciated it.

That night he ended up staring at the ceiling in his room. It was too stuffy. He cracked open the window ever so slightly to air out the place. He flopped back onto the bed and tried to sleep. His head was filled with dizzying dreams of meat, plants, bloody meat plants, and a grotesque purple monster with yellow eyes.

He felt like things were worming under his skin like vines and roots as the monster in his dream pulled him apart over and over again. It pressed into his body and pulled him open as bloodied grass and plants poked through his gaping wounds. Some of them even budded into bright red flowers. That dizzy honey smell that consumed him completely.

Lance opened his eyes, it was still dark outside. He checked his phone. It was one in the morning. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. He could still smell that sweet scent that made his stomach turn and his mind go blank.

He stared out into his backyard. His backyard backed off into the woods. The perimeter was just the vegetable garden. Beyond that was the darkness and the nothing and that weird sweet scent. 

Lance blinked slowly and made his way downstairs to the backdoor. He didn’t bother closing the door as he left and walked past the garden and back into the woods. He felt like he was sinking deeper and deeper into a dream.

Suddenly he felt something grab him and hold him up in the air. It was the monster. It had grabbed him with its extremely strong claws and looked like it was going to crush him, but it paused when it had a good look at him. It seemed surprised. It put Lance down and actually sat down while staring at him. It was like it was waiting for him to say something.

Lance just stared back at the creature with equal confusion. “So you are real…” He said quietly. 

The monster chirped back affirmation. They carefully moved a little closer to Lance and reached out to touch him again. Lance didn’t even flinch when the monster’s claw gently rubbed his cheek. The sweet smell invaded his nose and made him go weak in the knees. He held onto the monster’s hand and started breathing heavily.

“You… You’re the one that’s making that smell… Is it a pheromone? Something to draw us closer so you can eat us?” Asked Lance. The monster just tilted their head and chirped some more. “... Are you going to eat me again?”

The monster withdrew their hand and Lance collapsed. All his energy was completely gone. He watched as the monster shuddered and their body started to shrink in on itself. Slowly, slowly, ever so slowly its body seemed to shrink in on itself. Its body shriveled and changed colour. There was a gross snapping and squelching sound as the rippling purple flesh peeled away and got sucked into a body… a human body.

Their skin was pale and their hair was dark. Their eyes shone like amethysts in his head. He had a large gash on his face that looked kind of magenta in the darkness. He was beautiful. This weird monster was beautiful. The monster walked towards him and gently touched his face.

Lance leaned into his hand, his mind still felt foggy and the filter between his brain and his mouth was non existent. “Do you want to eat me again?”

The monster nodded and huffed.

Lance chuckled. “Of course you do… Did you really eat me earlier?”

The monster nodded again.

“Huh… Interesting...” Lance reached out and gently touched the monster’s face. The monster closed their eyes and purred softly. Lance ran his thumb over the monster’s lips. The monster opened his mouth and Lance pressed his thumb flat against his tongue. The monster’s jaw snapped shut, biting off his thumb. There was no pain, only pressure, and then nothing.

Lance pulled back and looked down at his hand. He should have been freaking out, but the pheromones that this monster was creating was keeping Lance extremely calm. The monster seemed to also watch in fascination at his missing digit.

Suddenly there was a dull throbbing in his hand and the two watched in amazement as thin fibres of tendons and blood vessels started to quickly wrap themselves around the steadily growing bone. In about a minute his thumb was back in place on his body. He moved his thumb a few times to see if it was still working. Somehow it was.

Lance almost had to laugh at the absurdity of it all. First he was born unable to feel pain, and now his flesh wouldn’t stop growing back. He was the perfect food for a man eating monster like this thing. He could eat him over and over again.

“Did you do something to me?” Asked Lance. “You had to have… I… This isn’t normal…” The monster ignored him and started to pull at his clothes, trying to push them out of the way. “Stop that. You’re going to mess them up.”

The monster glared up at him. Clearly annoyed that he was told to stop. He stayed hovering over Lance but didn’t touch him. He just glared at him and waited for him to do something. Lance’s foggy mind didn’t seem to make the connection before Lance heard the monster’s stomach growl.

“Right… You’re hungry.” Said Lance quietly. For some reason he thought that it would be a good idea to undress and move his clothes a safe distance away so they wouldn’t get blood all over them. His mama wouldn’t like it if he got his clothes all bloody.

The monster seemed to watch him with curious interest while looking at him like he was a piece of meat. In retrospect, he was. He was a piece of meat for the monster. It reached out to him, welcoming Lance into his embrace.

Lance easily slipped into the monster’s arms and rested his head against their shoulder. The pheromones the monster was creating this close to him made Lance’s mind go completely blank. He felt pressure on his shoulder from where the monster bit into him. It wasn’t as fevered as before. It was slower and more delicate. Maybe he was watching Lance’s body slowly repairing itself as he ate him? He didn’t know. It sounded as good of an explanation as everything else.

Lance almost felt dirty to admit it, but he felt calm and relaxed while this thing slowly ate him. He closed his eyes and was relaxed enough to fall asleep in this monster’s arms. He hummed softly and slowly ran his hand over the monster’s back. He yawned softly and actually drifted off to sleep in his arms.

“I like you.” Said the monster softly before Lance completely fell asleep.

***

“Are you serious Lance? Really?” Hissed Veronica.

Lance groaned a little and sat up. He was back in his pyjamas but he seemed to have fallen asleep in the backyard. “Huh?”

Veronica pulled him to his feet and pushed him back inside. “Get your ass inside and back to bed before mama wakes up and freaks out. You moron.”

“But I-?”

“Inside!”

Lance pouted and walked inside. He immediately went to have a shower. His head still felt heavy and nothing seemed real. It was all just some weird dream. Getting touched and held by some monster as it ate him alive… It was a weird dream, and now that he thought about it, this was probably some gateway to a weird kink… Though he wasn’t particularly aroused by the thought of getting eaten alive.

He sighed and undressed himself. He carefully looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t see any bite marks or scratches. He didn’t know what was happening. It all seemed real but at the same time it felt like a lucid dream. When he saw Dr Honerva later that week for a check up he’d talk to her about this stuff.

He got into the shower and washed himself. He couldn’t stop thinking about that monster. They were… Okay, they were pretty cute when they looked human. When they looked like a monster that were pretty messed up, but had a certain charm to their appearance. They did have pretty eyes and nice hair...

Lance shook his head and he scrubbed some shampoo into his hair. It could have just been a crazy dream. It’s always a crazy dream. There were no monsters and he wasn’t getting eaten by any weird monsters. He was fine… Really… He really was… yeah… It was all just some weird, weird, dream… 

He shuddered a little and shook his head. He didn’t like this. It felt like his mind was trying to protect himself from something much more horrific. It was really fucked up. He wanted this weird horror show to be over with already.

***

In the woods there were a few cabins. Most of them have been abandoned now and left to rot. The monster had found one such cabin and decided to declare it as their home. There was a hole in the ceiling, but he didn’t mind. There were a few tools around that he could use to fix it. He just wanted to spend some time feeding and getting comfortable first.

He was intrigued by that strange human. He had eaten him before, there was no doubt about it and their meat was delicious. All humans tasted good to him. He couldn’t understand why, but they did. Their meat was just flavoured perfectly. It was light and buttery and usually marbled perfectly. 

But that particular human was something different. Not only was their meat delicious they were so submissive. They practically asked to be eaten. They didn’t cry out and scream for help. They just let him eat. They even fell asleep in his arms. No one had ever done that before. Everyone screamed and cried out for help. But not them. They let him satiate his need for human flesh. 

If he looked for them again would they let him feed? He hoped so. He liked them. He liked them a lot. The monster was only feeding on them because they needed to eat human flesh to live. They weren’t doing it out of malice or because they didn’t like humans. They just needed to eat and if they could do it by feeding off someone who so willingly gave them what they wanted, who were they to turn them down?

The monster brushed some leaves off an old looking trunk and opened it. Inside were some clothes and a blanket. They wrapped the fabric around themselves and flopped onto the old mattress. It smelled stale, but it was possibly the most comfortable thing he had ever slept on. He looked down at his claws and noticed there was still some dried blood under his nails from that man last night.

“...” He sniffed his claws a few times before he gingerly ran his tongue over the dried spots. It didn’t taste as good as it did when it was fresh but he would take it for now. “I like you…” He said quietly. “I like you… I like you… I like you… I like you…”


	58. Commissions (camboys VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg! So some asshole in my street broke the freaking NBN cable so internet was out for my whole suburb for most of the day. Can't believe it's back up and running. Holy heck. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance spent most of the day making tamales with Hunk. Hunk made Lance promise to bring back some barbecue if Adam or Curtis was cooking. If Shiro was in charge of cooking then maybe not. There were some things that Shiro could cook, but one could count every dish he could make on one hand.

He came over at around seven and hit the doorbell with his elbow. Curtis opened up the door and happily helped him inside. “Hey Lance. Good to see you again. What kind of tamales did you bring?”

“Chicken and pork. I can’t remember which is which so I hope no one has a preference.”

“Nice. Come on through.” Curtis took the food to the kitchen while Lance walked through to the backyard where Adam was trying to fight off Shiro, who was trying to get in front of the barbecue with a spatula, while also trying to keep a very big husky away with a pair of tongs.

“Come on Adam.” Whined Shiro. “I can do it.”

“No. Fuck off. Distract that fucking dog.” Snapped Adam as he lightly pushed against the dog’s snout with the tongs. “Now you fuck off. Go and bother Keith.” The dog made a whining noise and stuck out its tongue as they tried to grab the sausages. They were getting close.

Lance grinned and crouched down, whistling for the big doggo. “Hey boy. Remember me?” The dog paused for a moment as they looked at Lance. Five seconds later Lance had a huge husky on top of him licking his face. This was a much better experience than the first time the dog decided to jump on him the first time. Lance grinned and ran his fingers through their fur. “Hello boy. Aren’t you all cute?”

The dog was suddenly pulled off of Lance by Shiro. “Hey Lance. Glad you could make it. Sorry about Kosmo.”

“It’s cool. I love dogs.” Said Lance. “Kosmo’s just a big puppy.”

“Yeah. He is.” Shiro let Kosmo go and the dog immediately jumped back on top of Lance. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good.” If Lance was being honest he would have had a pretty good enough time at home if he decided to stay there. He would have taken time to properly enjoy his toys by himself, but he did love a good barbecue. “How about you guys?”

“Can’t complain. Well… I can complain that Adam is still refusing to let me use the barbeque…” Muttered Shiro.

Adam flipped him off. “You want to talk to the fire department? Because the last time you used this thing you almost blew it the fuck up. I am not dealing with this shit again!”

“Calm down Adam.” Said Curtis as he walked out with Keith close behind him. “What’s wrong with Shiro?”

“His cooking skills.”

“... I feel so attacked right now.” Muttered Shiro.

“Your cooking sucks.” Said Keith as he walked over to Lance and Kosmo. “You okay there?”

“I’m good.”

“I was talking to Kosmo.” Keith patted the dog and smiled when they got off Lance to sit next to him.

Lance gasped at the indignity of it all. “Excuse you?!”

“I’m joking.” He helped Lance to his feet. “So how are you man?”

“I’m good. Wished that Hunk or Pidge could have been here, but Hunk has work and Pidge… Well Pidge is pretty much all over the place so yeah. Just poor me you guys gotta put up with. That and my tamales.”

“Cool. Haven’t had tamales before.”

Lance looked at Keith like he was an alien. “You serious? You live in this part of the country, a place with a large Hispanic influence and you’ve never eaten a tamale before?”

Keith shrugged. “I apparently don’t eat out enough.”

“Well when it’s around time to eat I’ll show you how to eat a tamale. Hunk and I both made them so you’re in for a treat.”

“Because Hunk works as a chef and knows what the hell he’s doing?”

Lance gasped dramatically. “Are you insulting my cooking before you even tried it?”

“Yes.”

“... Shiro! Your brother is being a dildo!”

Shiro shook his head. “Yeah, that’s Keith. Total dildo.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Thanks Shiro. You’re the best.”

***

Keith was actually enjoying his time with Lance. Sure he was a little confused about everything when Shiro told him that Hunk wasn’t going to be home for a while and he wanted to make sure that his roommate didn’t die. Like, Lance was an adult. He could take care of himself, but he had to be reminded that not everyone was an introvert like him.

Lance happily showed Keith how to eat a tamale, but he didn’t end up eating the first one he opened. Kosmo managed to snatch it from the corn husk. The dog was distracted by a bone Curtis tossed for him. They somehow started to get into a conversation about art.

“So like, can you show me some of your stuff?” Asked Lance.

“Hmm?”

“Like, if you want to.” Said Lance quicky. “I know some people can be a little touchy about people seeing their art so-”

“Oh no. I’m just surprised.” Keith took out his phone and opened up his SFW account and showed it to Lance. It was mostly digital pieces with a few smaller sculptures. “I do commissions and stuff so… Yeah.”

Lance hummed approvingly and looked over the pictures he showed him. “These are all really nice. Can I see your pricing list?”

“Sure, but I have a different pricing list for pictures and sculptures.” Said Keith. “Also, don’t expect a discount.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Lance looked over his price listing and hummed a little. “I see… Okay. Interesting… Could I possibly get you to do a little digital piece? A kind of cute sea creature on a blue background?”

“What’s it for? A banner or just something else?”

“Eh, kind of a logo thing. We can talk about it later.”

“Sure.”

“Fucking hell!” Yelled Adam. “Keith! Get your fucking dog away from the barbacue!” The two looked over to see that Kosmo had grabbed a sausage off the plate. “And this is why if we’re getting a pet it’s going to be something small, like a fish or sea monkeys!”

Keith rolled his eyes and moved Kosmo away. He held his dog’s head in his hands and shook his head at him. “I am very disappointed in you. You fat fuck. You’re going to make yourself sick if you keep eating people food.” The dog just continued to look dopy as heck, but happily barked and lied down at his feet. “Good boy.”

Lance laughed and grinned. “Aw, he’s such a good boy.”

“He’s not a good boy. He’s an asshole.” Said Keith. “I love him.”

“I love him too. Dogs are cute.” He reached down at patted Kosmo a few times. Kosmo happily wagged his tail. “Aw, he loves me.”

“Considering he likes jumping on you and you don’t automatically push him away… That and he likes your tamales.”

Lance laughed. “Everyone loves my tamales.”

“Well, they are pretty good.”

The rest of the evening seemed to go pretty well in Keith’s opinion. Shiro and Kosmo were banished from going anywhere near the barbecue by Adam. Curtis shook his head and happily chatted with anyone that wasn’t telling Shiro to get the fuck away from the barbacue or trying to shoo Kosmo away.

It was nice. Keith didn’t realise how much he missed this kind of closeness. When he ate it was either around the same time Kosmo did or he’d be eating alone after he’d finished doing either commissions or stuff for his NSFW blog. If he had the chance he would have taken a few in Shiro’s backyard. They had a nice little water feature that looked amazing.

He sighed a little. Keith had to admit it, he did like taking NSFW pictures of himself. Maybe he could take a photo and send it to Ocean later? He did tell Ocean that he wasn’t going to send him dick pics while at his brother’s place… But he did kind of miss Ocean drooling over his piercing. Kinky bastard that he was.

Lance left around ten at night and Keith ended up helping the rest of the household cleaning up. Once that was done, Keith retired to the bedroom and looked through his phone. He looked through his messages and quickly checked between both his NSFW account and SFW account. He suddenly got a message from a very familiar person, but he wasn’t getting messaged on his usual account.

**OceanQueen5**   
_Hi. I recently found your art and was wondering if I could commision you to make a logo?_

Keith stared at the message, dumbfounded. Ocean found his SFW account. Ocean found his SFW account and liked his art. He was internally screaming. He needed to play this cool. Ocean didn’t know that he was RedDesert. Right now he was on his SFW account. He was K_Kogane. Artist. He took a moment before he texted him back.

**K_Kogane**   
_Sure. What is the logo for?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Look, I’m going to be straight with you._   
_I’m kind of a camboy and I wanted a cute logo thing to put at in as a title and end card for my livestreams._   
_If you don’t feel comfortable making art for someone doing porn I totally understand._

**K_Koagne**   
_It’s fine._   
_As long as you’re not asking for a dick or something like that._

**OceanQueen5**   
_Oh no, nothing like that lol_   
_I want a pink octopus on a bubble background._   
_I want the octopus to look like a cross between that little pink one from finding Nemo and an octorock from Zelda. Is that okay?_

**K_Kogane**   
_Sounds cute. You want it doing anything specific?_

**OceanQueen5**   
_Nothing crazy_   
_Just sitting there looking cute_

**K_Kogane**   
_Sounds good. I can probably get it done in a week_   
_Now about payment?_

After discussing the payment method Keith informed Ocean that it would take a few days as he had a prior engagement. Ocean was cool with it and said he’d drop him a message asking him how progress was going in a few days. Keith was glad that Ocean was a cool guy for not trying to ask for discounts or anything like that. 

He’d probably finish the logo for him when he got back home, but he honestly felt so flattered that Ocean would ask him to make a logo for him. He already had a bunch of ideas already swimming through his head. It made him grin.


	59. Target practice (X-men IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally figure out if Lance's powers are physics or luck based. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The next time Lance and Keith met up with Shiro for a mentoring session, Adam was there. Adam was walking around the large, open field and was currently moulding statues from ice with his hands and the water from a garden hose. Lance thought it was so cool to see Adam use his abilities. Even if he was just making pillars and arches. 

“What are we doing?” Asked Keith in a blase kind of manner. “Also, why the hell did I have to wear this?” He gestured to the skin tight, black catsuit under his clothes. He had worn a jacket and long pants all day so Lance had no idea if he had been wearing it all day. It was way more noticeable now that Keith had taken off his jacket.

Shiro just grinned. “We are going to determine once and for all if Lance’s abilities are based on luck or are physics based. So Lance is going to shoot you-”

“Ex-fucking-scuse me?!”

“-with a nerf gun. Watch your mouth.” He passed Lance a simple enough nerf gun and pointed over to Adam. “Keith is doing to run around there and do his best to hide from you. You’re going to stand here and shoot him.” He tossed a small bottle to Keith.

Lance watched as Keith caught it, opened it and sniffed it. “Cheetah.” He muttered before quickly drinking it. “Yeah, definitely cheetah.” He sighed and kicked off his shoes and pants so he was just dressed in that skin tight catsuit. Lance would be lying if he said that he didn’t look at Keith’s ass. The suit left nothing to the imagination. Sue him.

Keith cringed a little and ran his claws through his hair as his eyes became more animal-like. He crouched down, almost snarling before he took off like a rocket and quickly started to dodge and weave through and around the ice sculptures. Lance was in awe at how quickly Keith was moving.

While he was running Shiro handed Lance a nerf gun and nerf bullet that had its tip dipped in white paint. “Here I have twenty nerf bullets. Start shooting. I want to see twenty white dots on that catsuit.”

“O-okay… Um, how is this going to work?”

Shiro smiled kindly at him. “If your mutation is luck based you’ll make more trick shots and there will be less paint on Keith and lots of paint on Adam’s sculptures. If it’s physics based then you should be able to warp reality slightly and hit Keith without hitting the sculptures. Also, your nerf gun shouldn’t be able to hit Keith because it isn’t powerful enough to hit him without some kind of mutant power.” He patted his back. “Have fun.”

“Alright…” Lance looked over at Keith and aimed his gun. “Um… Can you give me a target?”

“Chest?”

“Got it.” Lance took aim and repeatedly shot at Keith. Keith was fast and he wasn’t sure if he was hitting him, but he kept shooting until Lance was out of nerf bullets and Keith looked beat. When Keith walked over Shiro counted the dots on Keith’s catsuit.

“You got hit a lot.” Mused Shiro as he counted.

Keith shrugged. “Didn’t even feel like I was getting hit.”

“Well, every hit is accounted for.” Said Shiro. He looked over at Adam. “Hey Adam? Did any paint hit your ice sculptures?”

“I’m checking!” Called Adam as he looked at his sculptures.

Lance frowned a little. “What is Adam doing?”

“Checking the ice for paint residue.” Said Shiro. “When Adam touches water and ice he can break down the composition and tell if water is contaminated or not. He’ll be able to tell if you managed to trick shot the bullets and hit Keith.”

“Can I take this catsuit off now?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah sure… Don’t rip it off!”

Keith glared at Shiro and his ears flattened against his head. “Excuse me? I have fucking claws! I can’t get the stupid zipper!”

“I can get that for you.” Said Lance quickly. Instantly regretting it when Keith’s glare turned to him. Lance awkwardly fumbled with the toy gun and looked down. “I um… Just saying if you needed help I could… You know…”

“No. Shiro can do it.” Said Keith. “Right Shiro?”

Their mentor sighed and reluctantly nodded. “Sure. Come here.” Shiro attempted to help unzip Keith, but ended up catching the younger mutant’s fur in the zipper a few times. He hissed loudly.

Adam walked over and ignored Keith and Shiro. “Well, good news Lance.” He said. “Looks like your powers are physics based. You warp reality around objects. Allura will be very happy to find this out.” He patted his back. “The weekend’s coming up to. Consider going to town to celebrate.”

“We’re allowed off campus?” Asked Lance.

Adam nodded. ”Yes. Every two weeks Coran drives the school bus down to the town for any students that have signed up for it the night before. You can find the sign up sheet next to Coran’s door.”

Lance grinned. He did have some money. He looked over at Keith who was finally free of the evil catsuit and was using one of Shiro’s wings as a privacy shield. “Hey Keith, what are some good places to go to in town?”

Keith paused for a moment before he glared at him. “Do I look like I’d be welcome in town? With a bunch of normal looking people? Why the fuck would I want to be around a bunch of judgmental assholes that are just going to stare at me like I’m a freak?”

“... Oh… Sorry…”

Keith huffed and headed back into the building. Lance immediately felt like a bad person. He felt Adam pat his back again. “Don’t feel bad… Keith is just very touchy about going out. Normal people… and some mutants don’t treat him very well. Keith isn’t able to hide who he really is.”

“Well yeah…” Muttered Lance. “But I was just trying to be nice…”

“It’s okay.” Said Shiro. He smiled kindly at him. “Just so you know, Keith likes strawberry things.”

Lance’s eyes lit up and he nodded a little in understanding. “Oh, okay. So the sign up sheet is by Corna’s door?”

***

Keith was in a bad mood for the rest of the week. Even if he wasn’t outwardly aggressive, he just felt awful. He didn’t want to do anything besides hide in his room all day. Adam would say he was going through a depressive episode. He didn’t like it.

When the weekend came around Keith looked out the window and watched some of the students climb into the bus. He sighed and decided to finish his homework. It wasn’t anything he found too difficult. Keith was good with numbers and he liked to read. Even if his body made him look like a meat head and a thug. It didn’t take him too long to finish up there and he headed to the roof.

The roof of the main building had been turned into a flower garden. Keith liked it up there. It was quiet and warm. Hardly anyone went up there normally, so today, when lots of students were out there was little to no chance of running into anyone.

Keith found a sunny spot and lied down. He was going to just spend the day outside and sleep for as long as possible. He was making good on that promise too when he heard something humming softly in his mind. He hated it.

“Allura…” He muttered. “Get out of my head.”

The Principle jumped a little in shock. “Oh! Sorry Keith.” She said as she walked over to him. “I was going to tend to the garden. I didn’t think anyone would be up here.”

“Well, I’m here.”

“Yes you are… And you’re in distress.”

Keith’s ears flattened against his head and he glared at her. “Stay out of my head.”

She sighed and sat on the edge of a flowerbed. “Keith, I know that you’re unhappy. All your thoughts are clouded with anger and self loathing and I am worried for you.”

“Isn’t that meant to be Adam’s job?” Asked Keith.

“... You’re having trouble with Lance aren’t you?”

“I wouldn’t have a problem if you didn’t force Shiro into mentoring him… Shiro used me as target practice for Lance the other day and I… That ignorant asshole had the nerve to ask if I was going to go into town. Can you believe it?”

“Why do you assume that Lance is trying to hurt you or make fun of you?”

“Because no one is nice to me.” Muttered Keith. “You know that. Any time I’ve gotten into a fight and sent to your office you can always read our minds and tell who is telling the truth. How many times has someone else provoked me into attacking first? How many times have I just wanted to be left alone… Normal people and mutants that can pass as humans treat me like a freak.”

“... Keith, not everyone is your enemy. You are not alone here. We are-”

“A family. Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” Muttered Keith. “Face it Allura, your dream of some big, happy mutant family isn’t working. No matter what you do there’s always going to be that one person that everyone shits on for whatever reason. For the crime of being born that person is apparently me.” He glared at her. “You know the only reason I haven’t just packed my bags and left is because I’d get killed on sight for being a freak.”

Allura sighed and shook her head. “Keith, You know that’s not true. You have many reasons to stay here besides your safety; you like learning, you want to stay here for Shiro, you want to make your father-”

“NO!” Growled Keith. “You don’t get to talk about him. I told you to stay out of my head! Get out and stay out!”

She sighed. “Okay, I get it. Please don’t stay out here for too long. Okay?”

Keith growled at her again until she left the rooftop garden. When she was gone he lied down and sighed. He wished that Allura would stay out of his head and not poke around like a nosey little bitch. She probably heard him thinking about that too. Good. If he was thinking about how much of a bitch she was then she might stay the hell out of his head.

He eventually fell into a restless sleep and only woke back up when he started to feel cold. It was dark and knowing his luck he probably missed out on dinner. He’d go back to his room for now and sneak down to the kitchen later that night to make a sandwich or something.

When he got back to his room he was surprised to see that someone had left a plastic bag in front of his door. He picked it up and went back into his room. He carefully dumped out the contents onto his desk. He was surprised to see it contained a few bags of strawberry flavoured gummies and lollipops.

Keith was a little surprised. Adam or Shiro probably went and bought him something because of the mood he was in. It made him smile. He was grateful that they looked out for him. Out of reflex, Keith picked up one of the gummy packets and sniffed it. He didn’t pick up Shiro or Adam’s scent. It smelled like Lance.

“... What the actual fuck?” He muttered.

***

Pidge shook her head as the trio walked back to their room. “You know Keith’s not going to appreciate it.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Said Lance.

“Dude, he doesn’t like people.” They said. “Keith probably didn’t even see it.”

“I don’t care.” Reiterated Lance. “Look, I fucked up and hurt him. I’m the one that needs to apologise and when words don’t work a little gift usually does. Just a little gift. Nothing extravagant but just enough to show you care.”

“I feel like you have had to do that a lot.”

“I have a big family. Sue me.”

Hunk shook his head. “Look, you have a good heart, but don’t expect to suddenly be best friends with Keith because you gave him some food… Like an animal.”

“... Did I fuck up again?”

“We’ll see if Keith tries to break into our room and kill you tonight.” Said Hunk.

Lance sighed and shook his head. He didn’t want to mess things up more. It was quickly becoming clear to Lance that Keith despised being compared to an animal in any way, shape, or form. He needed to watch his mouth from now on. He at least wanted to be on good speaking terms with him.

When they got back to their dorm the group was surprised to see that there were a few lollipops on a note at Lance and Hunk’s door. Hunk gathered the candies while Lance read the note. He smiled a little at the one word message.

_Thanks_

For the first time since they met Lance felt that he and Keith might be able to get along after all.


	60. MTI (monster and manna AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is one part the groups M&m session and one part some bullshit I was talking to my DM about irl when one of our characters went into a brothel to find information on a guy for our current quest. It was interesting to say the least. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The party had split up to look for supplies in the Dwarven city of Arknok. Meklavar had dragged Thundar away to look at weapons. Valayun and Block were going to get supplies. Shiro and Pike were… Well Shiro was making sure Pike didn’t steal anything. Mostly.

They wandered around and looked at all the stalls. Pike saw several shiny things that he liked and that he thought Thundar might like, bit Shiro was always quick to stop him by asking; “What are you doing?” Damn perceptive Paladin. Eventually they ended up sitting at a fountain and waiting for the others to finish up. It was then that Shiro decided to have a heart to heart talk with him.

“So… You and Thundar huh?”

Pike grinned. “Yeah.”

Shiro nodded. “And you’re not leading him down a path of less than noble means?”

Pike suddenly felt like this was an interrogation. Shiro and Thundar ended up having a bonding moment when they got lost in the foggy maze of wandering souls. They stuck together and were able to overcome their slight perceived differences out there and well, despite Thundar being older since he was a half elf, Shiro had become like a big brother to Thudar and took him under his wing.

It had its benefits of course. It really helped integrate Thundar into the party, however it meant that Shiro had become protective of him… Which meant that once Pike and Thundar started dating Shiro was not very pleased. He went full big brother mode and started separating the two during missions. They hadn’t spent any time together alone since the mud crab incident (Shiro had justified keeping them apart to Coran as part of his Paladin’s code. Some BS about purity and not wanting to risk his teammates tainting their souls and giving into temptation. In other words, Shiro was cockblocking them in game). 

Pike laughed nervously. “I um… I… I like him?”

“You know that is not what I mean.” Said Shiro. “You’re a good person… Um… Cat person? But you aren’t a very virtuous person. You’re a thief.”

“Cool ninja!”

“You’re a ninja thief.” Said Shiro with a slight smile. “But look, Thundar is a really nice guy, and he hasn’t had much interaction with other people… So I don’t want you doing anything underhanded to him.”

“What me? Oh ye of little faith Shiro.” Squawked Pike. “I would do no such thing. I actually like Thundar… He’s smart, funny, patient, and a good person… I like him. He makes me want to be a better person… He isn’t materialistic so he’s really not impressed when I try to give him gold and jewels.”

“... So you’re stealing less?” Asked Shiro hopefully.

Pike snorted. “What? Well, I’m not stealing money anymore.”

“That’s good.”

“I’m stealing weapons now and things to make arrows and stuff for him.”

“Oh no…”

“Yeah! You want to see what I managed to-?”

“Nope!” Said Shiro quickly. “Don’t want to know! Don’t want to hear it!”

Pike rolled his eyes. Shiro was much too virtuous when it came to these kinds of things. Shiro would always reprimand him when he stole anything. Even when he stole something they needed, like a key from a guard. But he was slowly easing up on him. Pike saw that as an absolute win.”

“We’re back!” Called Block as he walked over with Valayun. “We got so many sausages. They have an amazing supply of sausages and cheeses.”

“Bread and ale too.” Chimed in Valayun. “Where are Meklavar and Thundar?”

“Here!” Called Meklavar. Above her head she was carrying a new war hammer and had a mad gleam in her eyes. “Thorack’s hammer! A hammer infused with the spirits of lightning and storms! Typhoons and hurricanes!”

“They still need to attune to it.” Said Thundar. “It’ll be a few days before they can use it.”

“But when I can…” Maklavar laughed like a maniac. “I’m gonna destroy everything in my path!”

Block sighed. “Well, we’re all going to die.”

Valayun chuckled. “Well we should think about what we are going to do for lodging for the night.”

“That tavern the merchant recommended might be good?” Suggested Block. 

Meklaver pouted. “Well, there’s also a much nicer tavern a little further up and like… you know… Could give two certain lovers a chance to be all gross together and stop looking at each other like they are pining for one another. Again.”

Thundar looked hopefully at Pike. Pike smiled back. Both of them were tried for walking for so long, but just being able to sleep in the same bed together would be nice. Much better than pushing their bedrolls together. Though it was nice sleeping under the stars together.

Shiro quickly spotted the look the two of them were sharing and cleared his throat. “So three to a room like usual? Thundar, Block, and I will take one room. Maklavar, Valayun, and Pike will take the other.”

“Oh come on!” Whined Pike. “You think Thundar and I will start touching and doing stuff if we’re sleeping in the same room together?”

“We aren’t desperately horny you know.” Muttered Thundar.

Pike needed to think fast. He quickly ran over to Thundar and grabbed his arm. “Sorry guys but we gotta go!” Thundar quickly got the hind and ran with him into the crowd. “We’ll catch up later!”

“PIKE!!!” Yelled Shiro as Maklaver laughed her ass off.

***

After the session Pidge stuck around to fix up her character sheet. Update her stats and all that. Everyone else had wandered off except for Coran. Coran was also going through his own stuff. He looked like he was thinking very hard about something.

“Something up Coran?”

“Well, now that Pike and Thundar are dating in game, I was thinking I might need to reimplement my usual rule set for sexual encounters in game.” Said Coran. “Though it’s usually for players interacting with NPC characters… Should still work for two PC characters.”

Pidge frowned a little. “You have a system?”

Coran nodded. “Yep.” He quickly started to list things off. “A strength roll is to see who is the dom and sub, acrobatics for how adventurous they are, performance for how into it you are, and when applicable, medicine.”

“Medicine?”

Coran nodded. “Yes. It was put in place after I was involved with a terrible M&M group where we had a murder hobo that would either kill or um… so very non consensual sexual things to the female NPCs…” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, we implemented the medicine roll to see if you contracted an MTI.”

“A what?”

“A Magically Transmitted Infection.” Said Coran with a hint of pride. “It was fun watching him realise there were consequences to their actions. They didn’t stay very long in the game after that. Good riddance. They were ruining everything for everyone else.”

“Makes sense… So they would get a disadvantage or something until they got to a doctor?” Asked Pidge.

Coran nodded. “Yep.”

Pidge hummed a little. “Interesting… So could Pike potentially get crabs when Thundar doesn’t?”

“... Then Thundar would have given Pike crabs.”

Pidge started to cackle. “Oh I love this. This is gonna be so good!” Pidge was hoping that Pike and Thundar would get into a situation where they would have sexy times, just to see if one of them gives an MTI to the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vote for tomorrows AU?
> 
> Modern fantasy;  
> Android; IIIIIII  
> Royal; III  
> Monster; III


	61. Binary (Android AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Android's won by a long shot with Royal and Monster AU tied. So I decided to post all three tonight. Android first followed by Royal and Monster over the span of the next few hours. Also, enjoy translating that binary code. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith had a strange feeling about that QR code thing on the wall. The next day when he and Shiro were back at work he asked to do a little bit of his own investigation. Shiro seemed a little surprised, he’d also hadn’t had his own morning cup of coffee, so he didn’t really register what he was saying.

“Huh?”

“I have a lead.” Said Keith. “I am not sure if it means anything, but I would like half a day to follow it up. Is that okay?”

“Oh sure. Where are you going to go?”

“I’m going to go to Conroy station. I hope that I can find the source of Voltron.” Said Keith. “I believe I have found a lead that might turn up something. If not it might turn up something about deviants.”

“How so?”

“At the market before Lance pointed out some graffiti that hit a QR code. Only an Android would be able to see it.” 

“Huh, let me know if anything turns up. Just remember we’re going to Adam’s place for dinner tonight.”

“I will.” 

So that’s how Keith found himself at Conroy station. It took him a little while to find out the sign that the QR code image. It was on the East side of the station. The QR code was old. It didn’t look anything like it did now. The sign was aged and cracked with the sun. Some of the sign had been covered with a few posters.

It must have meant something. He took a quick photo of the new sign and started to overlap the two images to see if there was anything really odd. He wondered if there was anything or if this was just a wild goose chase on his part. It took a few minutes of analysing it. He came up with nothing.

The only thing of mild interest to him was a poster for some digital art thing that had binary in the background and an extremely small set of numbers in binary around the border. On a bit of a whim he decided to see it the bordered letters meant anything or if it was just gibberish.

01010010  
01101001  
01100111  
01101000  
01110100

It spelled RIGHT. Keith frowned as he processed this. The numbers were the same all the way around the edge. Taking a chance, Keith looked over to the right and saw nothing of note. He was going to give up and consider this investigation a bust, but there was something. He didn’t know what but there was something there.

He scanned around the area one more time and happened to see some sign on a shop. There was an arrow as part of it pointing down the street. It was a long shot, but Keith walked towards the arrow and followed the direction it pointed down the street. 

Directly down the street was a wall with a mural of a yellow and green lion. Similar to the blue lion Lance pointed out the other day. He found another QR code. He scanned it and found the image of an arrow pointing left. 

This had to be deliberate. These QR codes could only be seen by androids. This had to be something created by deviant androids. Maybe it was a way of leading other deviant androids to whatever voltron was? He had to find out. Even if this led to danger, what did it matter? If he was MIA for long enough then someone would activate his tracker and he’d be collected later. It had happened a few times before.

He continued to walk down the street and followed along with this weird hunt that took him all around downtown. Hell, he had to climb into an abandoned building to get a QR code that ended up being binary that sent him to Royland Road. If there wasn’t anything at the end of this then Keith was going to punch a wall. Seriously, he was doing this on work time. 

He’d probably get some kind of programming adjustment if this came up with nothing. It wouldn’t be the first time it had happened. It was all about adjusting his settings to make him more efficient at his job. Keith didn’t like it when they messed around with his head. He probably had a completely different personality by now from what he did when he was first activated.

Would Lance have liked him if they had met when he was first activated?

Keith paused a little at that thought and shook his head. Why was he thinking of Lance in a situation like this? Lance was the kind of guy that loved talking with everyone and probably would be happy talking to a rock with googly eyes if someone drew a smile on it. That’s just the kind of android Lance was; sweet, caring, open, and honest with his feelings...

He thought back to Zethrid and Ezor. Those deviants he let go. The way they acted around each other, the way Zethrid protected that Ezor android it… It made him feel things he really shouldn’t have felt. Those feelings were… conflicting. Made him doubt his programming. Made him consider rebelling. Keith shook his head to clear himself of those thoughts. He’d file them away for later when he wasn’t hunting down deviants.

The last QR code he found showed a picture of a shipyard. Keith went there and scanned the sign. He found what he hoped was the last clue in his long, long search for the deviant androids and possibly Voltron. He found the last QR code which converted into a five letter word;

01000001  
01101100  
01110100  
01100101  
01100001

ALTEA

Was it the name of a ship? It had to be in the shipyard. Should he sneak in and see if he could find it? He might need a warrant. Judged didn’t hand out warrants based on an android’s hunch. This was going to be tricky. Maybe he could just look around and see if the ship was actually there? If he did that then maybe he could ask Shiro what the appropriate course of action would be? He needed to think about this.

***

Lance hummed to himself as he sat outside with Adam. Adam had bought himself some painting stuff at the craft market the other day and decided to paint a bit. Lance was enthusiastic about it since it would help with his fine motor skills. Adam had given him a sketch book and a pencil. He told him to draw something if he felt like it.

Lance grinned and happily sketched away. His sketches were still from his memory. As an android he could copy images near perfectly. That’s how androids were. He couldn’t create like humans could. But he was fine with that. It wasn’t like he was programmed to feel upset by that fact.

He ended up drawing some objects like the toaster or what he made for Adam’s dinner last night. He drew some sketches of Adam, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, and Keith. He drew a lot of pictures of Keith. He liked Keith’s smile. He liked the way his brows furrowed when they did puzzles together. He liked how confident he was. How peaceful he looked when in the charging bay when Lance needed to get up before him.

“What are you drawing?” Asked Adam.

“Currently? Shiro and Keith when we saw them a few weeks ago.” He held the sketch book over for Adam to look at.

The man looked at the sketchbook and hummed in approval. “Interesting… Lance have you considered doing something more… Abstract?”

“Abstract?”

“Yes.”

“Um, I guess I could try recreating a Jackson Pollock or a Helen Frankenthale?”

“No. I mean something abstract from your own mind… Here.” He stood up and put a new canvas up. He gestured for Lance to sit where he was, and set him up with some fresh paints and clean brushes. “Here. Paint something.”

“What would you like me to paint?”

“Make something up.” Said Adam. “Paint something you’ve never seen before. Go on.”

Lance frowned and looked between the paints and Adam. “Adam I… I don’t really know what you expect me to do?”

Adam smiled slightly at the android. “Lance, art isn’t about replicating the world. It’s about interpreting it and improving on it. Showing something that you see but other people can’t.”

“... I’m sorry Adam…” Said Lance quietly. “Something like that… I don’t think I can do it. It’s not in my programming… I...”

Adam hummed thoughtfully for a moment. “Do something for me. I want you to close your eyes.”

“Adam…”

“Go on. Just do it.” Said Adam in a kind but stern manner. Lance was reluctant but closed his eyes for him. “Now, try to imagine something doesn’t exist. Something you’ve never seen before in your entire existence.”

Something Lance had never seen before? He had seen so little of the world and anything he didn’t know about he could look up a digital reference… But if he was thinking of things he would probably never see, no matter how ridiculous it was he… He wanted to be closer to Keith in the same way Adam was close to Shiro. But good androids didn’t form romantic relationships. Heck, he’d been told he couldn’t physically or emotionally form that kind of relationship because it wasn’t in his programming.

“Are you thinking of something?” Asked Adam. “Good. Now concentrate on how that makes you feel and let your hand drift across the canvas.”

“...” Despite Lance having his eyes closed he could see hues of orange and red behind his eyelids. He blamed the sun for that. Not that it mattered. He had memorised what paints were on his palate. Lance dipped his brush into the paint and did as Adam said. He let his paintbrush drift across the canvas in broad strokes and short strokes. He nicked the paint across the edges and swirled in patterns until he felt like he was done.

Lance thought there was something wrong with him as his vision was still very much in the red when he opened his eyes. He was going to say something when it suddenly stopped and a string of binary quickly flashed in front of Lance’s eyes. Too fast for Lance to read.

01010000 01111001 01100111 01101101 01100001 01101100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100111 01110010 01100001 01101101 00100000 01100001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01110110 01100101

“Oh wow…” Said Adam as he looked at the art work. Red and blues intertwined and melding into purple while still trying to be pulled apart, or maybe they were trying to get pulled together? “What were you thinking when you made this?”

Lance shrugged. “There is someone I think I like but I don’t know if we should be, or could be… My programming isn’t… Doesn’t allow me to...”

“... It isn’t me is it?” Joked Adam. “Shiro will fight you for me.”

Lance snorted out a laugh. “Don’t worry Adam. I like you, but I don’t like you like that.”

“Good.” Said Adam. “Now, why don’t we set this aside to dry? This is really good. When it’s dried we’ll find somewhere nice to hang it up. What do you think?”

Lance nodded enthusiastically. “That sounds like a good idea. Thank you Adam.” An internal alarm went off inside Lance and he stood up. “Time for lunch. Today your lunch will consist of chicken and steamed vegetables with some simple seasoning.” He headed inside and happily started to cook Adam his lunch.


	62. Tipsy (Royal AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance needs to sober the hell up and poor Yurak is confused by Alteans and gets no help from Shiro. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Galra beds were weird. At least, that’s what Lance thought. They were round and kind of had a strange lip thing that kind of made it look like a clam shell or some kind of shallow cave. Maybe a den? He wasn’t sure. It was still weird and Lance wasn’t too sure how to use it. The ones in the Palace were much more Altean. It was even more confusing in his slightly drunken state.

“Verwick tastes like shit.” Grumbled Lance and Yurak unceremoniously dumped him on the bed.

“And here you were saying it tasted like boot polish.” Said Yurak. “Fuck, I didn’t know that drinking a pink of verwick would make you this plastered.”

“I ain’t plastered.” Whined Lance. “I’m not wearing the right clothes for decorating.”

“Huh?”

“You know. Plastered. Like decorating walls and stuff you need plaster.”

“... Sober up you lush.” Yurak patted his head. “Lie down.”

“Hmm, only if you lie with me.” They reached up and grinned at him. “Come on, just lay next to me. Please?”

“... You are a very needy drunk, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Humor me. I’m a guest.”

Yurak poked Lance’s forehead and rolled his eyes. “You’re pretty insufferable. Even more so when drunk. I should probably inform Lotor not to let Allura have too much verwick since it seems to really mess with Alteans…”

Lance tilted his head slightly and looked up at him. “All I got from that was you think I’m pretty.”

“... You’re also an idiot.”

“A pretty idiot is still pretty.” Lance batted his eyelashes at him and Yurak wasn’t very impressed.

“... Is this some kind of Altean way or trying to seduce me?” Asked Yurak.

Lance scoffed. “What? No. If I was seducing you, you would know it… Like you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if I turned up the charm on you.”

“Oh really?”

“Yep.” Lance attempted to stand up again and failed. “Verwick sucks… Anyway, seduction!” He cleared his throat and smiled up at him and looked at the young Duke with what Lance assumed was a sexy look. “Hey there Yurak. You come here often? You know, coming to my bed chambers like this, yurak’ng for it.”

Yurak’s ears twitched slightly as he tilted his head. “... I don’t get it.”

“Because your name is yurak? So like, you’re asking? It’s a pun.”

“Galra aren’t big on puns. We are more direct with our seduction attempts.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right… Take two!” Lance lied back on the bed and practically did the splits. “Take me!”

“...” Yurak burst into laughter, practically doubling over. The Galra was almost wiping away tears from his eyes.

Lance was surprised to hear him laugh so hard, but it was kind of nice to hear the Duke actually laughing. He hadn’t really been able to do that when he was trying to on Altean. Yurak’s laugh, though it sounded rough, was lovely.

The Galra grinned at him. “We aren’t that direct. Nice try though.”

“Ah…” Lance moved his legs so they were at more of an acute angle. “Better?”

Yurak rolled his eyes and patted Lance’s head. “Rest. Sleep it off. I’ll be back in a varga or two. Then I’ll torture you with Galara food. You’re going to hate roast bewa.”

“Sounds disgusting. I love it.”

Yurak chuckled and left the room, and Lance sighed loudly. Yurak was cute. Really cute. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking, but he really wanted to grab hold of Yurak’s face and rub his face in that cutie’s purple fluff. So fluffy and cute. He’d have a little nap and then get back to the fine art of Galra seduction later.

***

Yurak calmly walked back to his room and sat down on his own bed. Once he was there, his fur puffed up and he desperately rubbed his face in an attempt to calm himself down. Lance, that damn drunk fool. Yurak knew he was flexible, but damn. He was a show off. Also, he really hoped that Lance didn’t try that move on any other Galra. They would more than likely take him up on the offer.

He picked up his datapad and quickly called the only person he could talk to about this situation. Shiro. Technically he could have also called Lotor, but he felt way more comfortable talking with Shiro.

 _“Afternoon my Duke.”_ Said Shiro in an overly formal way. He was probably out somewhere public if he was addressing him as such. _“What can I do for you?”_

“Are you free to talk now? It’s a private matter about Alteans…”

 _“Give me a few ticks.”_ Shiro quickly talked to someone as he walked to somewhere more private. _“Okay. What is it?”_

“What are Altean mating rituals?”

The older Galra looked shocked. _“... What?”_

“Like, do they take on mates for life or do they sleep around more freely?” Asked Yurak. “Do they give courting gifts or what? I am unsure.”

_“Mind if I ask why you are asking?”_

Yurak shrugged. “Lance is drunk and resting in my guest room… He attempted to seduce me with puns. Then he did the splits and told me to take him when I said we prefer us being straightforward and to the point.”

Shiro snorted out a small laugh. _“Really? So what did you do? Did you take him up on his offer?”_

“What part of Lance is drunk did you not get?”

_“Well if you were both drunk it’s a bit of a grey area? Kind of? It’s very morally grey at best.”_

“I’m sober enough and Lance is not.” Said Yurak calmly. “Plus I am pretty sure that he probably wouldn’t want to sleep with a Galra… And after hearing about your experiences with Adam…”

Shiro instantly became flustered. _“Well I um… I… You see I… Shut up.”_

Yurak smirked at his flustered attitude. “Aw, you all pouty now?”

_“I guess you don’t want my help?”_

“...”

_“Thought as much. So, as far as I can tell Altean’s don’t have many particular rituals… Just don’t bite or scratch. They have fragile skin… Are you attempting to maybe court Lance?”_

Yurak blushed and pouted. “No… But Altean’s confuse me and I don’t know if he is flirting with me or not… So I am unsure if he wants me… Alteans are weird. How did you know Adam wanted you?”

_“He kissed me.”_

“... Right.” He doubted that lush would kiss him if he was sober.

_“Yes. Don’t worry about it too much. If Lance likes you I’m sure he will let you know.”_

“Okay… Are you still in contact with Adam?”

 _“Yes… I hope he comes to visit when travel is allowed between our kingdoms.”_ He had a slightly wistful tone in his voice as he talked of Adam. He really seemed to like him and care for him. Yurak was happy that Shiro found someone they wanted that wanted him back.

“That’s really nice.”

_“Thank you. But Lance? Are you going to pursue anything with him?”_

“I… I’m not sure. Altean’s are… odd to me.”

Shiro chuckled. _“Well, you’ll figure it out. I need to get back to work now. Is that okay?”_

“I’m good. Thanks for talking to me.”

_“No problem. Bye.”_

“Bye.” Yurak hung up and sighed. Altean’s were strange. Lance was strange. He hoped that the Altean at least had enough modesty to be embarrassed when he sobered up later that evening.

***

Lance wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He sobered up pretty quickly and he couldn’t believe he told Yurak to fuck him. He was a stupid, stupid drunk. Besides, what member of aristocracy would actually want to sleep with him? Heck, did Galra even find Altean’s that attractive? He thought Yurak looked attractive, but Yurak probably thought he looked weird with skin instead of fur.

He sighed and sat up, his head hurt a little, but it wasn’t anything overly painful. He left the room and went to see if he could find Yurak again. Before he could get too far a young Galra woman came up to him. “Excuse me? You would be Lance?”

Lance looked at her and smiled. “Yeah. I’m Lance. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Duke Yurak has asked me to come and take you to the dining room. Please follow me.” She said.

Lance obliged and happily followed her to the dining room. Yurak was already there and talking a little with someone that might have been the chef? He wasn’t sure. There were two plates of food on the table. Yurak glanced over at Lance and the Galra woman when they walked in and gestured for the other Galra to leave.

“Thank you for bringing him.” Said Yurak. “You are both dismissed.” Once the servants left, Yurak gestured for Lance to sit, which he did. The plate of food in front of him looked to be mostly vegetable and plant matter, but it was very orange and burnt blue. “Um… I hope it’s to your liking.”

“Looks like it might be.’ Said Lance as he carefully poked a blue thing with his fork. “What is it?”

“Shredded manyar.” Said Yurak. “It’s leafy and tastes a little sweet when grilled like it is there. Also the orange stuff is mashed kardarmar. It tastes nice with a bit of salt.”

“Huh, nice.” He poked a slice of purple meat. “And this?” 

“It’s from a bird.” Said Yurak. “... Is it too much meat? I did ask the cook to make a plate with more vegetables than meat for you.”

“Oh no it’s fine. Thanks.” Lance ate some of the food and hummed happily. It was pretty nice. A little strange but he liked it. “Um... So about earlier…”

“Hmm?”

“I um, I kind of said and did some things that I am not very proud of… So um… sorry…”

“You mean the whole trying and failing to seduce me by spreading your legs?”

“... Yes. That.”

“It’s fine.” Said Yurak calmly. “It was… A little odd, but I’m not shocked or upset. People are strange when they are drunk. I’m sure you were just teasing me anyway.”

“Yeah… I get pretty flirty when I’m drunk. Just be thankful you’ve never seen me really drunk. Alfor almost made it law that I’m not allowed to get drunk. It caused so many disasters.”

“... I am almost afraid to ask, but it sounds entertaining.”

Lance smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. Still sorry about that… The food is really nice though. Galra food isn’t half bad.”

“I’m glad.” Keith ate some of his food before he paused. “Are you planning on staying the night or will I organise someone to escort you back to the castle?”

Lance shrugged. “Well, if you’ll have me then I’d like to stay for the night. I want to give Allura and Lotor as much time together as possible. I’ll go back if she wishes me to, but… It’s kind of nice here.”

“I’m glad you like it… It’s kind of nice to eat with someone again. I don’t usually eat with others…” The way Yurak said that made Lance’s heart ache for him. He’s pretty much always eaten with people, but he guessed with how isolated being royalty is Yurak didn’t have a lot of meals with other people.

“Well, as long as I’m here we can eat together. It’s um… It’s an Altean thing.”

“Oh really now?”

“Yeah. Now hush up and eat your orange mash.”


	63. Cravings (monster AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, last of the chapter dump tonight. Hope you all enjoy it. I decided to rope Shiro into this wonderful AU. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Later that day after school Hunk and Pidge came over to visit him. They were both worried about what happened to him. Apparently Rachel had told them that Lance might not be coming in for a few days because of the murder. They thought that Lance had gotten hurt. Both were relieved to find out that he was fine physically.

“So did you see anything?” Asked Pidge.

Hunk glared at Pidge and lightly punched their arm. “You can’t just ask that.”

“It’s a valid question!”

Lance laughed a little. “It’s okay Hunk. Yeah, I kind of saw a lot… And I think I saw something that really messed with my mind… That or I really hit my head hard when I fell over. Probably hit my head hard. I’m going to talk to my doctor about it when I see her on Thursday.”

“... What did you see?” Asked Pidge. Always the nosy friend.

“Ah, some big purple monster thing that eats people, that kind of ate me?” Admitted Lance. “Yeah… I hit my head pretty hard.”

“Yeah, sounds like something you should see a doctor about.” Said Hunk. “Sounds like you might have some kind of head trauma. Want some brownies?” He held up a box.

“Yes please.” Lance happily took the box and ate one. “… What’s everyone at school been saying?”

“All Rachel’s said is that you were in an accident.” Said Pidge. “So like everyone thinks you got hit by a bus. She told us you found a crime scene…”

“Yeah… It was pretty messed up.”

Hunk put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “We’re both here for you… If you need to talk or need a distraction we’re here.”

“Thanks big guy… I’d like a distraction if that’s okay?”

Pidge clapped their hands. “Okay! So back to the siren thing. We got some stupid letters letting everyone know that it was just a drill.”

“So Hunk was right?” Asked Lance.

“In theory, yes.” Said Pidge. “However…”

Hunk shook his head. “Here it comes…”

“It’s all a cover up!” Said Pidge. “It has to be. What other explanation is there?”

“You’ve read too many conspiracy books.” Said Hunk.

Lance laughed. “Oh, by the way when I talked to some detectives they said it looked like an animal attack. So like, don’t go into the woods for a while. There might be something that-”

“Totally an experiment that got loose.” Said Pidge. “I’m calling it!” The two boys both whacked them with a pillow.

***

Shiro couldn’t help but shake his head. The aftermath of the experiment for Project Pupa escaping had been catastrophic. All personnel on floor B2 had been slaughtered. Every last scientist on the floor had been ripped apart. The same with security. In most cases they weren’t even eaten. Just torn apart. Shiro knew that they hated humans, but to this extent?

He was completely drowning in paperwork. He was pouring over hours and hours of footage and documents to see how they could have possibly escaped. Their room was meant to be airtight and inescapable. This was making his head hurt. At least he didn’t have to organise the life insurance for everyone that died.

The door to his office opened and Shiro looked up at his Boss and project lead. Sendak. “Have you figured out what went wrong yet?” Growled the older man.

Shiro shook his head. “There’s too much stuff to go through. I’ve been trying to piece together a timeline of events but it-”

“Two civilians are dead.”

“What?” This was news to Shiro.

“They happened upon two people on a hiking trail and ate them.”

Shiro sunk into his seat. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. He knew this wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t on that night. But still, he was pretty much second in command when it came to the project. Something as major as this going wrong was on his shoulders. “I… I didn’t… I didn’t know…”

“There was also a third victim.” Said Sendak. “But they managed to somehow escape completely unharmed.”

“... How is that even possible?”

Sendak shrugged. “You’re one one that’s supposed to know how that thing thinks. You figure that out.” He went to leave before he paused. “If they start eating more people it’s going to be your ass on the line and not mine. You’re the one that said you would take responsibility for him.” 

“... I know.” When Sendak left the room Shiro looked up his files again. It was depressing to look at. Truth be told, Shiro still hadn’t been given full access to all the files. He was just given the bare minimum even though he was second in command at this point. Lots of people assumed that he was the one in charge of Project Pupa. Shiro hated that idea. If he had his way Project Pupa would have been terminated years ago. 

The only reason he didn’t insist on it meant the swift and immediate eradication of the test subject. Over the years Shiro had grown quite fond of the man eater. He wasn’t the mindless monster that everyone treated him as. He was… He just didn’t know any better. He read over the file and sighed.

**Name;**  
_K-P1/K-P2_

**Age;**  
_20_

**Sex;**  
_Male_

**Basic description (K-P1);**  
_Subject appears to be a young Asian male of Korean descent due to DNA from the female host (see personnel file K.Kogane/Reproduction protocol). Their complexion is very pale due to containment procedures. Their hair is black which they prefer to keep long. Attempting to cut K-P1’s hair has proven to be dangerous as K-P1 becomes extremely violent when confronted with scissors or anything they perceive as a threat. Their eye colour appears grey but is actually a dark purple. K-P1 may look human but can only ingest meat. Any meat is fine, but it prefers live pork._

**Basic description (K-P2);**  
_Subject appears to be both bipedal and quadrupedal depending on the situation. Their skin is a dark magenta in colour. They almost appear lizard-like although their skin almost appears to be translucent and fragile. Their eyes are bright yellow and glow in the dark like a cat or some other nocturnal animal. It has no lips but has dozens of sharp bones set in their jaw capable of sheering flesh from bones. Bones from bone marrow. They are strictly carnivorous preferring pork, and if they can get it, human._

The rest of the file had been redacted. Shiro didn’t even have the clearance to read the other files even if it was relevant to his problem at hand. He needed approval from Sendak to read those files, but he knew he probably wouldn’t get it. He liked to keep his subordinates on a suffocatingly tight leash.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He was annoyed and frustrated with everything going on. Was it bad that out of everything that he should be upset about he was upset that they didn’t bother saying that K-P1/K-P2’s name is Keith?

***

Keith woke up in the afternoon and yawned loudly. He huffed a little and rubbed his face with the back of his hand a few times as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He smiled a little to himself, happy to be here in a dingy cabin and not there in that place. He wasn’t hungry, but he was a little thirsty. He needed to get water.

He got up and looked down at himself. He was still naked and he probably needed to wear clothes if he was going to venture out more. He looked through the trunk where he found the blanket and pulled out some clothes. Jeans and a loose shirt. The boots were a little tight but he could deal with it.

Keith exited the cabin and started to wander around the woods. Outside was nice. He liked it a lot more than he did staying inside. Eventually he found a small stream and crouched down to drink from it. 

He sat by the edge of the water and poked at the mud with a stick. He thought back to the weird human he had met. They had the best tasting meat he had ever eaten, and it grew back quickly too. The human didn’t scream or cry either. He seemed content enough to let him eat as much as he wanted. It was nice. Keith didn’t take pleasure in killing things. It was just what he needed to do.

He wanted to see them again. Keith wanted to find that human and sink his teeth into his flesh. It was so soft and tasty. His bones were good too. Just the right amount of crunch. He got up and sniffed the air. It was difficult to tell where they were. But he kind of knew where they stayed since he had dropped them off in the area they assumed they lived after redressing them.

He wandered towards the direction of the town and couldn’t help salivating. He could smell humans. So many humans. Humans that are young and old. Their sweet, sweet flesh just getting ready and ripe to get eaten. He could feel his other self just itching to get out and feast.

Thankfully Keith was smart enough to suppress that part of himself. He wasn’t going to eat just anyone. He was going to eat that one person that could heal fast enough. If he could just get his hands on them then he could eat them as much as he wanted and he wouldn’t draw attention to himself.

“... I’ll find you.” Muttered Keith. “Just wait for me… I’ll find you…”

He walked down the main street of the town and looked around at all the things there. It was… a lot. He saw more humans than he thought could possibly inhabit once space. All of them looked so delicious. Especially the young ones. They smelled sweet. If he could just grab one and rip their faces off he would. They smelled so good it was making him dizzy.

He walked faster down the road and shoved his hands into his pockets. He dug his claws into his palms and started to bite at his own lips. Maybe this was a bad idea. Too many people. Too overwhelming. It was like he was starving and someone was pressing freshly killed meat into his mouth. It was maddening.

_Eat them. Eat them. Eat them._

Keith ground his teeth as he felt sharp points catching together and cut his gums. This was a bad idea. He needed to leave. He needed to get out of there. He was going to blow his cover if he gave into his hunger right now.

_Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them._

Keith took the quickest path back to the woods. He didn’t want to be there. He couldn’t be there. If he gave into his hunger and let it burst out of him now, then he would be in danger. He’d be forced to go back, and he didn’t want to go back. Keith didn’t stop moving until he could no longer smell the flesh of the humans he craved so badly.

He crouched by a tree and quietly sniffled. He wanted to eat so badly but he couldn’t draw attention to himself by eating humans. Humans had a tendency to retaliate when one of their own was devoured. He swore they had some kind of subconscious hive mind. But he needed to eat.

The wind suddenly changed and a disgusting, yet familiar smell filled his nose. Keith frowned and followed that gross smell, all the way to a pig farm. He was smelling pig shit. It was disgusting, but he knew that where there was shit, there was life, and where there was life there was food.

He could see pigs walking around in their pen. Their pink flesh was just so damn tantalizing. He couldn’t stop the drool from gushing out of his mouth as he slowly started to lick his lips. His stomach was growling like crazy and he couldn’t contain himself.

_Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them. Eat them._

Keith could feel the monster inside him bursting out of his skin and peeling off his human casing. He’d eat these pigs and find that strange human later. He needed to eat now. He needed it. He was starving. The air quickly filled with the squeals of pigs getting slaughtered.


	64. Pack leader (modern fantasy AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is still a chubby elf boy with a potato addiction... However Pidge has other plans. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was just a normal sunny day for Keith as he quickly snuck out of the house to satisfy his potato cravings. Was it bad? Yes. But he really couldn’t help it. He was addicted to fries. He went to the closest fast food place and bought three servings of extra large fries. Yeah, it was bad, but he had started to cut back. He usually bought four servings of extra large fries.

He contemplated just eating them on the walk home or if he could eat them when he got back. Krolia might be home and kick his ass again with some extra training, or tell Lance. He was tired of doing push ups and squats. He was pretty sure that Lance was making him do all those squats because he liked seeing his ass when he crouched down for any reason. Damn pervert.

As he contemplated this he couldn’t help but shiver a little. He felt like someone might have been watching him. Suddenly someone came out of nowhere and snatched his bag of fries out of his hands.

“What the fuck?!” He snapped.

Standing in front of him was Pidge. The short, pudgy, lycanthrope proudly stood there with the bag of fast food in one hand with her other hand on her hip. That smug dog looked very proud of themselves. Keith would have been more pissed off if he wasn’t so shocked by their appearance. Pidge was no longer fat. Pidge was a damn stick.

“What the fuck Pudge?”

“Name’s not Pudge you porkbelly elf.” Said Pidge. “Later.” Pidge put the handles of the plastic bag into her mouth and took off running down the street.

“... How the flying fuck did Pidge manage to get so… Wait… BITCH GIVE ME BACK MY FRIES!!!”

Pidge was surprisingly fast, then again she seemed to have gotten very fit over the past few months. But then again, how fit could she be if she was eating Keith’s fries? If Keith was a normal human he would have given up after half a block, but being an elf, despite being out of shape, he still had high endurance and managed to keep a few feet behind her.

Pidge attempted to lose him by quickly running through side streets and through the maze of back alleys around apartment buildings. Keith thought he had her when she dipped down a street with a dead end. To his shock, Pidge quickly crawled through a narrow hole in a fence.

Being the stubborn ass he was, Keith quickly dived down after her. Everything was fine, until he had to pull his hips through and he felt his thighs and butt hit the sides of the hole. Keith expected something like this from Lotor, but not him. He groaned in frustration and struggled to pull himself through.

“Come on…” He muttered. “Come on. Come on. Come on. Come-” There was a slight ripping noise as Keith pulled himself through the hole, but ended up ripping a hole through his pants, exposing his right buttcheek. “... You owe me new pants!”

Keith continued to chase Pidge as she did her best to lose him. She bolted up stairs, balanced across railings, dashed across rooftops. Anything to lose Keith, but there was nothing she could do. There was no way Keith was going to let Pidge get away and feast on his fries. He bought them. He was going to eat them.

Suddenly Pidge slipped down a narrow alleyway and dived under a metal gate. Keith could feel his eye twitch in annoyance and he quickly followed her, getting slightly stuck again. He squirmed and struggled to get through.

He growled and punched the ground in annoyance. “Stop going through random holes you bitch!” He pulled himself through and panted a little. He looked up and saw that Pidge had stopped running. Keith took his chance and grabbed her as he snatched the bag away. “HA!”

“HEY!” Yelped Pidge. “What the fuck are you doing blubber butt?”

“You stole my fries you bitch!”

“You shouldn’t be eating fries anyway when you’re on a diet!”

“Stop making fair points!” Snapped Keith. “And you owe me new pants! I’m gonna beat your ass, you potato stealing dog!”

“I’m no dog, you blubber belly!” Snapped Pidge.

There was a small whimper and Keith just rolled his eyes. “Quit your blubbering!” Snapped Keith. “It’s too late for you to start crying. I don’t care if you’re a girl. You don’t steal food! Bitches get stitches!”

“That wasn’t me.” 

“Huh?’

There was a small whimpering and a tiny yap coming from a cardboard box. Keith looked inside and was shocked to see a bull terrier puppy. They looked up at Keith and wagged their tail. Keith frowned and took a moment to look at his surroundings. They were standing in an empty, overgrown lot with some construction equipment.

“... Okay, start from the beginning Pidge.” Said Keith. “What is going on here?”

Pidge shrugged and kneeled down beside the dog. “Well, I come here some days when I want to be alone and I found this puppy. Someone abandoned them here for whatever reason, so I’m taking care of Bae Bae now.”

“Bae Bae?”

“Yep. That’s her name.”

“... So you stole my fries to feed your puppy?”

Pidge nodded and picked up Bae Bae. “Yep. I’m the only lycanthrope in the area. So I’m the defacto pack leader. I gotta take care of the orphans in the area. Puppies need lots of food to grow up big and strong so I’ve been working extra hard to gather food for Bae Bae. So hand over those fries.”

“Fuck off dog breath.” Said Keith. “First of all, I don’t see why I should give up my fries for a stray.”

Bae Bae whined and whimpered a little. Pidge cuddled them some more and quietly cooed. “Aw, don’t be like that. I’ll head out and get you something else to eat soon, so please don’t cry.” An almighty growl ripped through the empty lot and Keith had to take pause. It came from Pidge. Pidge’s stomach.

Was Pidge making sure that the puppy was eating before she did? It would make sense if she decided she was the pack leader. Keith could just imagine what Lance would say if he found out that Pidge was running around and not eating as much as she should. Lance probably put together a good diet for her, but he doubted she was doing that. He looked down at his bag of fries and remembered a conversation he had with Lance.

***

Keith was laying on the couch and staring at the ceiling while Lance was sitting on the floor doing some yoga. “So Lance…”

“Yeah?”

“Why do humans eat fast food if it’s so bad for them?”

“Well, there’s two main reasons.” Said Lance. “It’s quick, and it’s cheap. In fact, a lot of people in first world countries where fast food chains and snacks are prevalent a lot of people that aren’t economically well off are obease because a $5 meal at a fast food place is more filling than a $5 punnet of fruit from the grocery store.”

“So… Do you dislike people that can’t afford to eat healthy?”

Lance laughed. “What? You serious there Keith? Look, some people can’t help it. There are many factors and reasons as to why people mainly eat junk food. I’m not going to get mad at someone who decides to eat junk food so they can pay their rent. Eating healthy all the time has become a luxury for rich people… I just get frustrated when people don’t put in the effort to try and improve themselves. Like, okay you can only eat crappy food because you’re in a shitty position right now? Okay, maybe start exercising a little more?”

“... So why are you always on my ass about me eating fries?”

“Because you are living with me and I am well off enough for you to be eating mostly healthy but you’d rather eat fries and sleep.” Said Lance. He sighed and continued his yoga. “But like seriously, if someone has a choice between eating something filling that’s junk or eating something not filling at all and healthy, I’d rather people be full and make the effort to stay healthy when they exercise. Starving yourself for the sake of getting skinny is gross.”

“Huh… Okay.”

***

Keith sighed and held the bag of fries out to Pidge and Bae Bae. Sure it was fries, but if Lance was here in his position he would probably do the same. He didn’t want Pidge or Bae Bae to go hungry, no matter how much he loved fries. Plus he wasn’t a monster. He wouldn’t have actually let a puppy go hungry.

“Here… Just take my damn fries…” He muttered as he held the bag out.

Pidge was surprised but quickly took the bag. “Really? Thanks… What made you change your mind?”

Keith shrugged. “Just don’t feel like them anymore. All this running around has made me lose my appetite… There should be more than enough in there for the puppy, so you eat up too Pidge. You sound like you need it.”

Pidge blushed a little. “Thanks Keith… I really appreciate it and so does Bae Bae.”

“Whatever. Just take care.” Keith squeezed back through the hole in the fence and headed back to Lance’s apartment. When he got home and explained to Lance why he had a hole in his pants. Lance was happy that Keith was able to give up his fries, but told him not to feed animals food with salt content that high ever again.

***

Later that week after Pidge went on another scavenger hunt to get food Bae Bae, she went back to the lot and was shocked to see that Bae Bae was already eating something that looked like dog food in a plastic bowl. Next to Bea Bea was a food container. She opened it and inside was a chicken salad roll and a note written in Elvish.

_You can’t be a good pack leader if you aren’t eating right._

She smiled a little and happily ate her food. Maybe blubber belly wasn’t as terrible as he acted?


	65. Duet (POTO AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Been a little while since I posted for this one. Hope you all like it. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Feeling all wound up for no real reason and full of pent up energy, Keith had decided to play a little bit of Chop Suey. One of his favourite songs from System of a Down simply for the drums. Heck, he could have played a lot of different heavy metal songs, but he liked this one. He needed to figure out his own feelings and frustrations.

Lance wanted him to talk to himself about performing in front of people. It was dumb. It was stupid. Lance didn’t really want to see him perform or anything like that. He was just… Just Keith. Dumb socially awkward Keith.

There was a knock at his door. A few seconds later Adam opened the door and walked down. “Keith? You down there?”

To acknowledge him, Keith bashed a cymbal. 

“Ah, good. Time for dinner. Come on up.”

Keith nodded and headed upstairs. Thankfully Adam had gone and cooked dinner tonight so it wasn’t as burnt as it could have been. He settled down in his seat as the two other adults sat down too. They quickly fell into conversation while Keith tuned out and picked at his food.

It wasn’t anything crazy tonight. Just some roast meat with vegetables and gravy. Adam’s cooking was nice. It was warm and felt kind of like home to Keith. It was really, really nice. He quietly ate until he was asked his opinion about something. Even then it was usually a yes or no question with now follow up, so he could just shake or nod his head.

“So Keith,” began Adam. “I was wondering what is taking you so long to clean the theater these days. I’ve noticed you’re taking an hour to two hours longer than usual. Is the theater company that shitty this year or do you need to replace your cleaning supplies.”

Keith clenched his fork a little too hard as he quickly weighed up his options as to what to say. If he could find his voice to speak tonight. “I-I-I… Distracted.” He muttered quietly.

Adam hummed a little as he drank from his cup. “Distracted? By what?”

Keith shrugged. “C-costumes. Piano.”

“Are the costumes really that good this year?” Asked Adam. “Aren’t they just ye old English stuff? Long dressed and all that?”

“It’s Mary Poppins this year.” Said Shiro. “If Keith likes the costumes then let him look. Not like it’s doing him or the production any harm by looking.”

“I was just asking.” Said Adam. “I’m not saying that the costumes aren’t good, I was just asking about it since I didn’t think the costumes were that interesting. But hey, you know me. I’m the kind of person that likes much more elaborate and crazy costumes. I hope they do Wicked or Wizard of Oz next year…”

Shiro chuckled a little at Adam daydreaming of fabulous costumes and looked back over at Keith. “So, piano too huh? Anything you like playing there?”

Keith shrugged. “C-Coran sometimes leaves sheet music.”

“Ah, well that’s nice. I hope you like it.”

“I do.” Keith continued to pick away at his food. Since he wasn’t talking like the other two he was pretty much done already. He got up and put his plate away in the dishwasher before heading back down to his room.

“Wait a second Keith!” Called Shiro. “Adam and I are going to watch a movie. Do you want to watch with us?”

Keith shrugged and signed at him. _Don’t want to interrupt your date night_

“You’re not going to interrupt anything.” He said calmly. “We’re going to just sit on the couch and watch a movie. It’ll be fun.”

_Fun? Really? Will it really be fun with me there?_

Shiro’s expression softened a little. “Of course it will.”

“It has been a while since we have done something together.” Said Adam. “You won’t be intruding.”

Keith thought for a moment before shaking his head. _No thanks. I have some songs I want to play._

“Are you sure?” Asked Adam.

_Yes._

Shiro nodded. “Okay, but if you change your mind feel free to come up and join us. We’d both really love it if you joined us.”

Keith didn’t believe him. _Okay. I will._ He quickly headed back to his room and sat down on his bed. He wouldn’t have minded watching a movie with them, but he felt like he would be imposing, even if he was sitting on the other side of the room and on a chair instead of the couch with them.

He put his headphones on and put his phone on shuffle. He ended up listening to Blue Lips by Regina Spektor. It was… It was pretty and kind of beautiful. Whenever he thought of the colour blue all he could think of was Lance’s eyes. So pretty and bright. So… Lance.

Keith’s face felt hot as he thought about Lance. He wanted to hear him talk. He wanted to hear him perform something for him as Keith. Not as the Phantom. He didn’t know what to do. He was… He wasn’t what Lance wanted to hear. He was just… He’d disappoint him. He’d make Lance feel embarrassed or annoyed. He didn’t want to feel like he was annoying someone. That was the worst feeling.

He still had all his files that he had on his computer. If he really wanted to he could probably send one to Lance… But would he like it? Would he like listening to his music? He didn’t know. He had no idea.

***

A night at the McClan house was dramatic at best. He was staying with his parents while looking for a good rental. His twin sister was doing the same and so was his older brother. His other brother and sister had stopped by for dinner too. It was loud with lots of talking. Lance had been trying to read his lines up at the dinner table but his mama made him put it away.

“But mama!” He whined. “I’m trying to memorize my lines!”

She shook her head and waved a spoon at him. “No scripts at the table. Dinner time is family time.”

Lance grumbled but reluctantly did as he was told. His sister, Rachel grinned and nudged him. “You’re way too excited about this new Musical you’re in.”

He rolled his eyes and nudged her back. “Well I can’t help it if I have some musical talent. You don’t have to see it if you don’t want to.”

She grinned. “Nah, love seeing you jump and prance around is too funny.”

Their mother shook their head. “Rachel. Don’t make fun of Lance. He’s doing what he loves in his free time and is having fun. It’s more productive than you watching TV all day.”

Rachel pouted and ate her food. Lance grinned and happily went about eating while everyone started to chatter about their day and what they were up to. Veronica was complaining about work and so was Macro, his older brother. Luis was talking about his family and how glad he was that his wife, Lisa, was able to take the kids for the night.

Eventually Veronica turned the conversation back to Lance. “So, you’re really one of the leads in Mary Poppins?”

Lance grinned. “Yeah.”

Luis chuckled. “Let me know when you have a day performance. Nadia and Silvio would love to see their uncle perform, and Lisa doesn’t want them up too late.”

“As soon as Coran tells us the dates, which should be in about two weeks from now.” Said Lance. “After that we can go out for lunch or something?”

Luis grinned. “Sounds good. They are going to be singing all the songs for the rest of the week after. They loved the old Disney movie.”

“Have fun with that.” Said Lance with a grin. He could just imagine his niece and nephew having a blast watching the musical and quietly singing or humming along in the crowd. It was going to be fun.

He wondered if Keith was going to be there? Like during the performance. Would Keith go if he bought him a ticket, or would he get free entry because his brother owns the theater? He wasn’t sure. Maybe? Would Keith even accept that? … What about that Phantom guy? If his hunch was correct they actually were part of the cast. He’d talk about them the next time he saw them.

***

Lance flopped onto the stage. He was beat. The Phantom had him singing and dancing like a mad man for way longer than he probably should have. He was tried, and the Phantom didn’t seem very amused, but was letting him rest for now.

“Here.” He crouched down and handed the bottle of water. “Drink up.”

“Thanks…” Lance sat up and drank. “So are you going to watch the show on opening night?”

“I always do.” Said the Phantom.

“... In the audience or as part of the crew?”

The Phantom shrugged as they sat at the piano and played a few bars of different music. “Doesn’t really matter. I’ll be supporting the theater and the production… and you…”

The notes they were playing sounded familiar to Lance. “... Are you playing Phantom of the Opera?” 

“Hmm?”

Lance grinned and started to sing Christine’s part. “In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came. That voice which calls to me and speaks my name.” The Phantom chuckled a little and quickly changed keys so it fitted Lance’s voice range better. “And do I dream again? For now I find The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind.”

When the second verse came around the Phantom quickly took over. “Sing once again with me, our strange duet. My power over you grows stronger yet. And though you turn from me, to glance behind The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind.”

Lance enjoyed their duet. He got up and walked over to The Phantom and leaned up against the side of the piano. “Those who have seen your face, draw back in fear. I am the mask you wear.”

“It’s me they hear.”

Both boys caught the other’s eye as their voices twisted and melded together in perfect harmony. “Your (my) spirit and my (your) voice in one combined; the Phantom of the Opera is there. Inside my (your) mind.”

“Beware the Phantom of the Opera.”

“He’s there, the Phantom of the Opera.” Lance broke into the final parts where he had to sing the notes while the Phantom encouraged him to sing higher and higher.

“Sing my angel of music.” Encouraged the Phantom. “Sing! Sing for me! Sing my angel! Sing! Sing my angel! Sing for me!” Eventually Lance hit the high note and his voice cracked.

Both boys broke into a small fit of giggles. Lance grinned and drank some water. “Guess I still can’t hit those high notes huh?”

“Yeah.” The Phantom smiled at him. “So you like the Phantom of the Opera?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. I love it. I know it sounds kind of dumb, but it was the first opera I ever watched when I was a kid. I think it was what made me fall in love with theater in the first place… I was so crushed when I couldn’t join the theater when they were doing Phantom that year.”

“It was pretty good.” Said the Phantom. “I enjoyed watching it. Lotor was good as the Phantom.”

“Yeah he was…” Lance sighed a little and continued to stare at the Phantom. “So, did you talk to Keith?”

“... I did.” Said the Phantom quietly. “So um… He’s very nervous, but he’s willing to send you a sound file if you guys exchange numbers… and never talk to him about it or share it with anyone else.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because he doesn’t want anyone hearing him or feel like he is being judged.” Said the Phantom calmly. “Please be kind to him.”

“Of course I’ll be kind to him.” Said Lance reassuringly. “I know how big this would be for him… I like him”

“You like him?”

“Yeah, I like him a lot.” Said Lance quietly. “But like, it’s not like he likes me that much. I think he still doesn’t like me that much.” He admitted. “But I do want him to be comfortable around me…”

“You’re gay?”

“Bisexual.”

“Ah, okay.” The Phantom hit a few more keys. “... So um, that duet was nice...”

“Yeah it was… Do you want to maybe do it again?”

“Yeah… Our voices sound good together.”

“They really do.”

The Phantom smiled a little and cleared his throat. “A-anyway, back to work. You’ve almost nailed it. Now from the top; Let’s go fly a Kite.”


	66. Library (witch AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is trying to be a good master and learn about selkies... And Lance continues to be an ass for he is a seal. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Going to the library wasn’t a big deal for Keith. What was a bit of a big deal was the fact that Lance decided it would be a good idea to see how good the acoustics in the library was by slapping his damn flippers around on the stone. Some of the other wicche’s gave him looks. Lance just rolled his eyes and decided to politely tell them to fuck off in seal. 

The echo was enough to make everyone jump, including Lance. Keith quickly turned around and quietly hissed at him. “Lance, this is a library. You’re meant to be quiet. Okay? No demonic seal screams. Go it?” Lance rolled his eyes. “... If you’re uninterested there’s a pond outside you can soak in.”

Lance huffed and flopped his way outside. He did his best to slap his fins and body against the ground as hard as he could until he was outside. Once he was outside he quickly spotted the water and happily flopped his way over until he fell in with a splash.

Fresh water felt nice against his skin. It was different from the salt water he was used to and he was pretty sure he was drying out less when he was on land. He happily poked his head out of the water and bobbed around a little.

He looked up and watched a few other wicches walking by. He saw Shiro walking towards the library with his phoenix perched on his shoulder. Lance grinned and let out a loud bark to catch their attention. The wicche and their familiar paused in shock and quickly looked at Lance before looking at each other. The phoenix took a scroll from Shiro and flew into the library while Shiro walked over to him.

“... Lance, right?” He asked. “Keith’s familiar?”

Lance nodded and pulled himself out of the water, wrapping it around himself. “Yeah! Your name is Shiro, right?”

Shiro nodded and sat on a rock close to Lance. “Yeah. I am. So what are you doing here? Just exploring or is Keith here?”

The selkie pointed to the library. “He’s in there. Said he was going to look up selkie stuff. Which is nice.”

“Yeah, how are you fairing living on land?”

“I’m doing pretty well.” Said Lance. “I kind of miss eating krill, squid and fish… Sometimes penguins… Those guys were nice. They actually kind of taste like the chicken that Keith bought for me to eat.”

“That’s good… I’m still surprised you got summoned by a fire wicche. I thought high magical creatures could resist the pull of a summoning?”

Lance shrugged. “I just wanted to see what life on land was like… We aren’t normally allowed to come on land where humans are for any reason not since… But I got curious. There’s so many interesting things up here. Like fire. I still find that interesting.” He slapped the ground and looked up at him. “Did you know that Keith can grab stuff out of the fire and not burn himself?”

“That’s the wicche’s gift.” 

“What’s that?”

Shiro looked slightly surprised for a moment. “Oh that’s right, you probably wouldn’t know… So we wicche’s get our power from the Goddess Allura. Allura gifted humans with magic and blessed us with the ability to control the elements. Depending on what element a wicche has been blessed with means they have been given different gifts. Since Keith is a fire wicche he has been blessed with the gift of being fireproof.”

“Oh! That’s so cool!” Said Lance excitedly. “What other gifts do other wicche’s have?”

Shiro hummed a little and thought this over. “Well, I’m a light wicche. I can naturally refract and manipulate waves of light to make myself and other things invisible. Water wicche’s can’t drown. Dark wicche’s have night vision. Wind wicche’s can hover and fly for short distances. Nature wicche’s manipulate plants.”

“That’s so cool.”

Shiro chuckled. “Yeah. We can also overlap our magic and can kind of perform different kinds of magic that’s a little more complicated. Like, a wind and water wicche can study each other’s magic and become lightning wicche’s. Nature and fire wicches’s can become earth wicche’s.”

“Oh! That’s so cool!” Lance happily grinned as he clutched at his seal fur. “Keith talked to me a bit about that stuff when he was showing me how he did his job. It was really, really cool!”

“That’s nice. Keith’s been really dedicated to his craft for years. I’m really proud of how he’s handled everything.”

Lance smiled and lightly splashed the water with his feet. “This water is really nice. Not very salty at all.”

“No it isn’t. That’s freshwater for you.”

Lance hummed softly and continued to kick at the water. “Yeah. It’s nice. I like it… Keith is a good wicche.”

“He is.”

***

Keith had found several scrolls and a few books on the subject of selkies. Many believed that selikes were only females that needed human males to have children. Which turned out to be a lie as there had been sightings of male selkies in later years. There wasn’t much about how to keep one happy besides keeping them away from water and to keep their furs locked away at all times.

Which was kind of weird. Lance didn’t say anything about that kind of stuff. He read a lot of selkie accounts from sailors and people from fishing villages. It was mainly stuff about mysterious women showing up and living with the once romanceless fishermen. Sometimes they would vanish just as quickly as they showed up.

He found a particularly interesting and disturbing report written by a rather famous water wicche, Blaytz. He was hailed as being a master of water. He could calm a raging sea or cause a tsunami to wipe out an entire island. There was a small island far off on the North coast where the villagers were convinced that their woman were being enchanted by some kind of sirens or sea monsters because they were all committing suicide by jumping off a cliff into the sea on mass.

It was pretty chilling stuff, but in less than a week Blaytz had figured out that this was originally a breeding island for selkies and fishermen had come there to take selkie brides. In the beginning it was okay and their relationships might have been out of love, but selkies being selkes would always pull their seal skins on and return to the ocean. To stop this, their human husbands burned their seal skins. The selkies, unable to return to the ocean, became extremely depressed and ended their lives rather than staying on land forever.

Blaytz ended the report by saying the island no longer exists and a new island is in its place surrounded by coral and rocks that will destroy any and every boat that tries to get close to it. A somewhat happy ending, kind of… Well it explained why Lance mentioned that he didn’t want Keith to touch his seal fur.

He sighed a little and rubbed his face. So it seemed like when he was in human form he could just treat Lance like a human? When he was a seal… He still wasn’t sure what the hell he was meant to do when Lance was a seal.

He heard a slight whoosh noise and looked up to see Adam drop a scroll off at the front desk before he quickly dived towards Keith. There was a quick flurry of feathers, fire, and robes as Adam changed into his human form.

“Good day Keith.” He said with a smile. “What might you be doing here?”

“Looking up stuff about selkies.” Said Keith. “Not a lot about them though…”

“Higher magical creatures are like that.” Said Adam. “For example, no one really knows much about my kind apart from the fact we catch on fire when we die and are reborn from the ashes. He almost had a smug look on his face when he said that. Phoenix were more proud than a peacock.

“Well, what are you doing here?” Asked Keith.

“Oh, Shiro asked me to return a scroll while he went to talk to Lance.”

“... Is Lance causing trouble?”

“Nah, he’s just enjoying the pond out the front.” Said Adam. “Probably annoying the freshwater and all that. A huge change from the salt water he’s used to.”

“Probably.”

Adam leaned over Keith’s shoulder and looked at the scrolls. “So find anything interesting on selkies?”

“Just that if you take their furs they can’t turn back into a seal… And they get extremely depressed if they can’t go back into the ocean.” He frowned a little. “Does this mean we have to go down to the coast? I hate the ocean…”

Adam chuckled. “Perhaps. Should be interesting to see you trying to swim again.”

“No, fuck that. I’m not swimming again.” Grumbled Keith. “Fucking hate that.” Swimming was the worst. Keith sunk like a rock. He blamed being a fire wicche for that. He concluded that water naturally hated him and was going to drown him the first chance it got. Fuck water. Fuck the ocean. It was a place of evil as far as he was concerned.

Adam just grinned and shook his head. “Well you’re going to have to get used to it. Shiro had to get used to getting me volcanic rocks every year or so for my nest.”

Keith sighed a little and shook his head. “Yeah well… If I can avoid going to the ocean for a while I will… But if they have to for his sake I will…”

“Good. Are you done studying yet?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t a very… I didn’t really get what I wanted.”

“What were you after?”

“I wanted to try and make Lance’s living space a little more comfortable. Like, do I need to think about digging a ditch to fill with water for him to sleep in?”

“Possibly Have you considered asking him?”

Keith didn’t want to admit it, but Adam was right. Though it did feel kind of like a slap in the face admitting that he didn’t know how to to take care of his familiar. It was a rough jab at a wicche’s abilities. Keith wasn’t going to admit he was a bad wicche.

“I will ask him later. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Keith returned the scrolls and headed out to see Lance, still in seal form, getting many pats from Shiro. Lance seemed to love the attention. When he spotted Keith he made a few happy seal noises and took his seal skin off.

“Hey Keith!” Said Lance with a grin. “Did you get what you need?”

“Pretty much. Hi Shiro.”

“Hey Keith.” Shiro smiled at him. “Do you and Lance want to come over for dinner tonight?”

“Sure. Sounds fun. Adam’s cooking right?”

Shiro pouted. “Why must you insult my cooking?”

“Because it’s trash and you should feel bad about it.” Said Keith. Adam and Lance lightly snickered while Shiro continued to pout.


	67. Text talk (camboys AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am patiently waiting for your screeches. I know they are coming. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

At around three in the morning when Kosmo decided to wake Keith up with some whimpering and doing a little dance. His little potty dance that he always did when he really needed to pee really, really badly. So Keith pulled himself out of bed and took Kosmo out to the backyard.

Kosmo was extremely grateful and jetted off to the back fence to do his business and sniff around. While Kosmo did that, Keith went about scrolling through his phone. Lots of cute cat videos and what not. Some cute puppies and doggos.

Suddenly he got a message from his favourite person. He was a little surprised that they were awake at this time of night. But then again he could have been awake somewhere else in the world.

**OceanQueen5**  
_You up?_

**RedDesert**  
_Yeah?_  
_What’s up?_  
_You need something?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Just wanted to talk._  
_We haven’t talked that much over the past few days._  
_How is the weather at your brother’s place?_

Keith chuckled and looked around. The air was a little chilly, but it was nice enough. Keith liked it. It was warmer here then it was in the desert at night. It was always pretty damn cold out there at night. Unless it got humid. Then it was hot, heavy, and annoying.

**RedDesert**  
_Weather’s good_  
_How’s it at your place?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Pretty good_  
_Warm_  
_Good swimming weather_  
_Don’t have to go to work today :D_  
_Wish I had a pool though :(_

**RedDesert**  
_Sucks_  
_Do you have a pool?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Sadly no_  
_The world is deprived of me walking around in a speedo two sizes too small for my ass_  
_My ass looks damn fine too_  
_Almost as good as it does when I wear a jockstrap_  
_I have two perfectly sculpted assets that just need to be on display for the world to see!_

Keith could just imagine Ocean walking around a pool. Their cute ass bouncing ever so slightly as he walked… And damn if he did wear a speedo two sizes two small for him then… Well, Keith could feel dick twitching in excitement at the thought. But he couldn’t just tell Ocean that he liked the idea of him walking around in a tight thong. That just wasn’t him.

**RedDesert**  
_Is this before or after you get arrested for indecent exposure_

**OceanQueen5**  
_(@[]@!!)_  
_EXCUSE ME?!_  
_BLOCKED!!!_

**RedDesert**  
_Drama queen_

**OceanQueen5**  
_SUPER BLOCKED!!!_

**RedDesert**  
_Well damn._

**OceanQueen5**  
_Anyway,_  
_Can I ask you a question?_  
_You can tell me to fuck off if you want_

Ocean wanted to ask him something? Really? What could he possibly be asking him? Knowing Ocean it could be anything. It could be something serious or something stupid. Hell, he could be drunk for all he knew and was gonna ask him something incoherent. 

**RedDesert**  
_Okay?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_What city do you live in?_

Keith’s heart was hammering in his chest. Did he feel comfortable telling Ocean which city he was in? It wasn’t that big of a deal right? The city was big and there was no way Ocean would even be able to find him if he was even in the same city.

**RedDesert**  
_Aruas city._

**OceanQueen5**  
_ʘ‿ʘ_  
_Shut up!_

**RedDesert**  
_???_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Bitch!_  
_I live in Arus too!_

**RedDesert**  
_???_  
_Seriously?!_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Yeah!_  
_We live in the same city!_  
_Holy shit!_  
_Boy!_  
_We could have been hooking up for months!_  
_I could have seen that dick in person!_  
_(@[]@!!)_  
_RED!_  
_YOU COULD HAVE TOUCHED MY BUTT!_

Keith’s eyes went wide in shock. They were in the same city? They both lived in Arus. Well, Keith technically lived two hours outside of Arus, but still. They were both in Arus. They could meet up. They could meet face to face. 

He felt his face heating up as he thought of the possibilities. He wondered how the meeting would go? Would Ocean actually like him if they met up? Would they just talk and hang out as friends? Would it be a booty call? Keith wouldn’t have minded a booty call. Lord knows he hasn’t had sex in a hell of a long time.

But still, he had to keep it professional. Keith was responsible and had to be the one with half a brain between them. He was such a disaster gay. Almost as big a disaster as Shiro. But at least he could cook. He took a deep breath to calm himself before he texted back.

**RedDesert**  
_Are you drunk?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Drinking a bottle alone and fingering myself don’t mean I’m drunk!_

**RedDesert**  
_Ocean?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Yes?_

**RedDesert**  
_Go the fuck to sleep_

**OceanQueen5**  
_:O_  
_RUDE!_

**RedDesert**  
_Night Ocean._

**OceanQueen5**  
_Night Red_

***

The next day when Lance got up and drank his coffee he checked his messages and almost spat his coffee out all over the table. He forgot he texted Red. They were both living in the same city. They could meet up. They could actually meet up and talk. In person. Would Red want to talk with him or would he think it was a booty call? Were they about to become friends with benefits? Would this become their thing? He was not emotionally prepared for this… But then again...

Lance looked at his phone for what felt like forever before he could build up the courage to text Red.

**OceanQueen5**  
_Do you want to meet up?_  
_I know a nice cafe we could meet up at._  
_They have some really nice almond milk drinks._

He really hoped that Red would read that and actually agree to meet up with him. Picking a cafe was a good safe location, right? If it went badly they could just leave and that would be it. He hoped he would say yes… But Red did have privacy issues. He probably wouldn’t want to meet up with him.

**RedDesert**  
_Sure._

**OceanQueen5**  
_Really?!_

**RedDesert**  
_But not this week_  
_Family stuff this week_  
_Sorry_

**OceanQueen5**  
_I totally get it!_  
_It was just a suggestion_  
_We don’t have to_  
_Don’t feel pressured or anything_  
_I’m totally fine if you don’t want to_  
_Really_  
_It’s cool_  
_:D_

He was left on read for five minutes while those damn three dots kept showing up. Red was typing something long. Either that or he was typing and deleting and typing and deleting again. Lance fucked up. Red didn’t want to meet up with him. He changed his mind. Another relationship Lance fucked up before it even started.

**RedDesert**  
_I still want to meet up_  
_I just have family time right now_

**OceanQueen5**  
_I totally get it_

**RedDesert**  
_I still want to meet up_  
_Really_

**OceanQueen5**  
_Really?_

**RedDesert**  
_I do_  
_Gotta do family stuff now_  
_Talk to you later about meeting up?_

**OceanQueen5**  
_:D_  
_Sure!_  
_Have fun with your family!_

Lance stared at his phone for what felt like forever. He and Red were going to meet up. They were going to meet face to face. This was really happening. How would they recognise each other? Oh lord he had to pick out an outfit. He had to make himself look presentable and hot, but not slutty hot. This was gonna be a challenge.

***

The triad and Keith had taken Kosmo down to the dog park as a family. Kosmo was loving all the attention he was getting, but Keith was having a small crisis. He was going to meet up with Ocean. They were going to meet up and talk and do all the things and he just… Yes, Keith was having a slight gay panic attack. 

Maybe he should ask Shiro for advice? Then again Shiro was a moron. He could ask Adam, but he was kind of an asshole and just tell him to do something reckless and stupid. Maybe he should talk to Curtis? He seemed like the best balance of smart and stupid.

“Kosmo no!” Yelled Adam as the Husky ran towards Curtis, knocking the poor man off his feet and down a hill… and into a pond. Kosmo happily got off him and ran back up to them. Curtis just sat in the water looking stunned.

Maybe Keith should just go with his gut on this one. Clearly the triad was made up of stupid people. He really hoped that Ocean would like him somewhat when they met in person.


	68. Movie night (X-men AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a big angry purple cat boy. I love him so much. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

There was a set schedule when it came to many things at the school; when to eat, when to go to class, when to spend time with meteors, when to do everything. The only real time that wasn’t really set on much of a schedule was bath time. Which was a good thing. Some mutants took much longer to get clean just due to their physical appearance or because of their powers and how they reacted to water.

Keith was one such mutant. Taking a shower sucked. Since his body was covered in fur he had to shampoo his entire body, like a dog or cat. It was annoying and Keith didn’t really do it often, but he would start to smell if he didn’t shampoo himself at least once a week. So he set aside Saturday nights at around eleven to get clean.

It was an annoying task, but he had to do what he had to do. He armed himself with a long handled exfoliating brush, a large bottle of baby shampoo, and a plastic stool. His ritual hadn’t changed much over the past few years; dampen his fur, rub shampoo into his fur and froth it up with the brush, and rinse.

It took at least half an hour to clean himself properly in the stupid communal showers. The stalls were way too small for his liking. As he scrubbed himself clean some foam dripped into his ear making him cringe and shake his head. He hated when that happened. But the most annoying thing for Keith was scrubbing between the pads on his toes. Keith preferred to walk around barefoot so the pads on his feet slowly became greyish brown over the course of a week. Slightly unsettling considering his foot pads were pink.

When he was clean and suds free it took him forever to dry his fur. Even when he was dry he still spent time drying his tail as he walked back to his room. He moved as quickly and quietly as he could back to his room. As he passed Lance’s door he was happy to see that Lance had taken what he had left for him.

***

During breakfast the next morning Coran happily announced a movie night was happening that evening and if anyone wanted to attend then they could. Lance was excited. Movie nights were awesome. He wondered what kind of movie they were going to watch. Probably something non offensive and family friendly. So either Disney or Pixar. One of those.

Hunk nudged Pidge’s arm. “What movie is it this time?”

“Coran’s on a classic kick at the moment.” Said Pidge. “The front runners for tonight are Cinderella and Snow White. But he has a slightly more modern pick for us to vote on; Lilo and Stitch.”

“I love Lilo and Stitch.” Said Lance. “Man, it’s been a while since I watched it though… Did you guys ever end up watching the animated series with all of Stitch's cousins?”

“I remember that one.” Said Hunk. “I really liked this one experiment that was red and he was like the only experiment that was made to be good… Also the one that made sandwiches.”

“Ace.” Said Pidge as she played with her phone. “The experiment you’re thinking of is Ace, experiment 262. The sandwich guy is 625 and his name was Ruben.”

Lance chuckled. “I liked 602, Sinker. They were this little shark guy that was made to sink ships. He ended up working in a Japanese restaurant where he cut up fish and veggies to make sushi. I have a soft spot for aquatic life. I love sharks.”

“Explains why you like Keith.” Said Pidge. “You like dangerous things.”

Lance huffed. “Excuse you. Sharks aren’t dangerous. They are misunderstood babies that need cuddles.”

“My point stands.” Pidge finished drinking her milk and sighed. “Well, I’m in the middle of making a super VPN.”

“Sounds slightly illegal.”

“It damn well better be.” Said Pidge. “I’m not gonna do something cool if it isn’t somehow illegal.”

Hunk shook his head. “Please don’t do something illegal… Again… Allura’s gonna get mad if you do… Can you really afford getting stuck in detention for another week?”

Pidge shrugged. “Won’t get caught if everyone keeps their mouths shut.”

The two of them continued to bicker while Lance looked over at Keith to see if he was interested in watching the movie that night. Keith was still sitting alone and poking at the food on his plate. He seemed kind of tired from the way he was looking at his coffee cup. He also yawned with the same force and gusto a lion or some other big cat would. He had some really big canine teeth.

Pidge and Hunk were still talking, so Lance got up and decided to actually go over and talk to Keith. Keith gave him a weird look and pressed his ears against his head. He seemed too tired to actually growl at him of anything.

“Hey man. Did you sleep well?” He asked.

Keith shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Cool. Are you going to watch the movie with us tonight?”

“Think I’ll pass. I’m tired.”

“Oh… Not a fan of Disney?”

“It’s more Disney stuff?” Asked Keith. “Is it animated of the shitty live action?”

“Think it’s animated? Pretty sure it is… Anyway, I’m sure you’ll like it.” He smiled at Keith who was just slowly drinking his coffee. “You going to watch with us?”

“Maybe.” Muttered Keith. “I don’t know. Still tired.”

“Gonna take a cat nap?”

“... The fuck did you just say to me?”

“... C-cat nap? I didn’t mean because you look like a cat or anything.” Said Lance quickly as he tried to dig himself out of this bad situation he currently flung himself into. “It’s just what we call taking a nap during the day. Like, because my sister’s cat would always fall asleep in sunny spots because they were lazy. So like, if anyone in my family had a nap during the day we would say they were having a cat nap. That’s all.”

Keith continued to glare at him and kept eye contact as he drank his coffee. He looked pissed off but too tired to really care. “Whatever.” He finished his coffee and went to put his dishes away. “Just leave me alone Lance.”

“Oh… Okay…” Apparently getting him some strawberry stuff didn’t really fix his relationship with Keith at all. The guy still hated him. Disappointing, but if the McClains were anything, they were stubborn bastards. Lance was determined to befriend Keith no matter what at this rate.

***

Keith had made his way to the garage for some time to work on his motorbike. Coran had a pension for starting lots and lots of hobbies and projects for everyone. Everything from art classes to a robotics class, to a small auto shop, to gardening. 

Coran bought crappy, rundown junkers, and let the kids fix them. If they got them working they could keep them. Keith got a motorbike running a few years ago. He still liked to work on it and make sure it still ran by driving it around the property. True, this might be a little counterproductive since he just washed himself the previous night. But he needed to do something with his hands.

“Ah! Good to see you Keith.” Said Coran as he happily walked inside. “Getting the old bike there in tip top shape?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Said Keith. “... Do you know when those tires are coming in?”

Coran frowned. “Well, it should be early next week. Do you need something urgently?”

“No. Just wondering.” He looked through his toolbox and sighed. “Coran? Do you know how long until Shiro has to leave again?”

“Um… Unsure lad. Shiro’s schedule is kind of fickle.” Said Coran. “One day he’s off in congress and the next he’s off fighting Zarkon and trying to stop him from ending mankind and forcing humans to become mutants.”

“I know… I just wish he was around more.” Keith knew that Shiro’s work was important. He had saved so many mutants both by fighting for them in front of the cameras and behind them too. He wanted to go with him. But Shiro wasn’t going to put him in danger like that. Shiro wanted him to grow up to be someone the world needed. Someone that everyone would be proud of.

It was depressing to think Shiro put that much faith in him. He wasn’t anything special. Anyone special. He was just… a feral, angry mess of a mutant. He’d be lucky if any normal looking human looked at him like he was a normal person. Hell, after everything he had been through he doubted that he would be able to recognise anyone that was genuinely reaching out to him.

Coran patted Keith’s shoulder. “I know you miss him and want to go with him, but-”

“I’m too young?” Asked Keith. “Someone Shiro doesn’t want to lose? I’ve heard it all before… Shiro wants me to stay here rather than leave.”

“Well, to be fair you never want to leave the grounds when you’re given the opportunity.” Said Coran. “You ask Adam to buy you things when you need more notebooks and pens.”

“Yeah...”

“Shiro is just worried about you.” Said Coran. “He knows how much you’ve been hurting. More so than Allura, and she’s a telepathy.”

Keith felt his ears droop. “I know… But I don’t want Shiro to protect me. I don’t want people to protect me and treat me with kid gloves. I want to protect Shiro and make him proud of me.”

“...” Coran crouched down next to Keith. “Lad, Shiro is proud of you. He got you out of that terrible foster home and brought you here. You started to study and you’re one of the top three in your classes. You’re very smart and you have a bright future ahead of you. Very bright.”

Keith snorted and rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, there’s a but coming on.”

“See? You’re a clever boy.” Said Coran. “But you are terribly antisocial. Shiro might feel a little better if you made a few friends. Have you been getting along well with Lance?”

Keith rolled his eyes so hard he worried that his eyes might fall out of his head. “He’s fine. I tolerate him.”

“Well that’s a start… Are you coming to the movie night tonight?”

Keith flicked his tail in annoyance. “Maybe.”

“It’ll be fun.”

“Sure it will.”

***

Later that evening around eight at night, everyone that wanted to watch the movie and happily dragged blankets and pillows into the spacious common room and made themselves comfy. Hunk and Lance managed to drag out both their mattresses and pushed them together. They made themselves comfy and Pidge happily joined them with a few blankets and pillows.

Lance looked around the room to see if Keith was going to watch the movie, but he couldn’t see the purple furball. He sighed sadly and voted for his movie of choice when Coran let everyone vote. They could either pick the Disney Princess movies or Lilo and Stitch. Lilo and Stitch won.

Someone started passing a few bowls of popcorn around the room and eventually it got to Lance. He grabbed a handful and looked around to see who he could pass it too. His eyes fell on a particular purple cat man standing in the doorway.

Lance got up and walked over to Keith. “Popcorn?” He asked quietly.

“I’m not staying too long.” Muttered Keith. “I just wanted to know what the movie was.”

“Come over and watch with us.” Said Lance. “There’s a lot of space on our mattresses.”

“... I-”

Lance rolled his eyes and took hold of Keith by his wrist and pulled him over. “Come on.” He sat Keith on the edge of the mattress and wrapped him in a blanket. The expression on his face reminded Lance of a very, very confused cat. Pidge and Hunk seemed a little surprised that Keith was with them, but shrugged it off and went back to watching the movie. 

He then pushed the popcorn bowl under Keith’s nose. The purple man hesitantly took a small handful and ate it. “Um… Thanks?”

“Good. Now enjoy the movie.”


	69. Questions (monster AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rather tame chapter for this au. Lance still isn't sure that Keith is real, Keith is an adorable man eating monster, and Shiro is fucking stressed (when is he not stressed?). Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance’s skin felt weird. Weirder than usual. It felt like he had goosebumps all the time. At least he didn’t smell that sickly sweet scent any more or dream about getting eaten by a purple monster, or a cute boy with hauntingly beautiful eyes… Curious eyes that seemed just as fascinated by Lance’s regeneration as he did. Eating him alive wasn’t malicious. It was just nature.

“Lance McClain?” Called a doctor.

Lance quickly got out of the waiting room and walked into Honerva’s office. He made himself comfortable in a chair while his doctor went over her notes on her computer. When she was done, she smiled kindly at him.

“Now I know you have had a stressful week, but how are you?”

Lance shrugged. “I guess I can’t really complain that much? I mean… I am alive...”

“True, but I would strongly recommend seeing a therapist. You could be experiencing PTSD.”

“I guess…” Lance looked down at his lap and picked at a loose thread. “Um… I don’t know if this is a thing I need to see a therapist about but…”

Honerva raised an eyebrow. “But?”

“... When I went home I kind of smelled something weird and it kind of… This is going to sound really weird…”

Honerva smiled softly at him. “Lance, please don’t feel worried or scared to tell me what is going on with you. I can’t tell you the number of times my patients have neglected to tell me something and then the problem became much worse because of it.”

“... When I smell something really, really sweet I get really dizzy and light headed.” Muttered Lance. “It just… It smells so sickly sweet. Sweeter than honey. It’s like all the sweetest things combined. It’s nauseating.”

“So this isn’t when you smell sweet food, it’s when you smell a certain sweet thing?”

“Yeah… I um… I’m not sure what the sweet thing is though.” Said Lance. “I think I’m hallucinating or passing out. When I get overwhelmed by that smell I imagine a monster.”

“... Can you describe this monster?” Asked Honerva curiously. 

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.” Said Honerva calmly. “Some people that suffer certain illnesses can share similar kinds of dreams and or symptoms. For example, some people that suffer chronic insomnia can see shadow people in the corner of their vision.”

“Um… It’s a monster.” He said. “This big tall purple monster with dozens of knife-like teeth and bright yellow eyes. Then it changed into a man. They kind of looked Asian? They looked like they might have been Asian…”

“... And this was all after the incident?”

“Yeah… I um… I’m worried I hit my head. Can you please check my head or maybe recommend I get an X-ray or a scan? My head might be… I might have a brain injury.”

“Of course.” Said Honerva in her kind, motherly voice. “Now, when you went to the hospital earlier this week they did read your file and noted you have CIPA and they went above and beyond to make sure you were okay… But I can check you again. Also, you’re due for another blood test.”

“Okay.” After that Honerva continued with Lance’s physical and deemed him to be major injury free, wrote him a referral to get an X-Ray and an MRI. He was then sent to pathology, had his blood drawn, and we sent on his merry way until the next time. He was going to meet up with Veronica at the little cafe across the street.

He sighed a little and walked across the street. Veronica was already there with a drink and sandwich already ordered and waiting for him. He sat across from her and smiled sheepishly at her. She glanced up at him from her phone before looking back at it.

“So, how did it go? Still alive and well?”

“I um… I got told to get an X-ray and an MRI.”

“What? Why?”

“I might have hit my head a little harder than I thought I did…”

“Oh… Well, let me tell mama about it.” She said quickly. “You know how she will get when you tell her.”

“I know…” Lance sighed and ate his food and drank his drink. Mama would flip out if she thought Lance was really hurt. That would be the worst. She would coddle him and ask him to take more time off school. Taking the rest of the week off was hard enough when he needed to be in class to take notes to keep his damn grades up. At least Hunk and Pidge were more than happy to get notes for him.

“-and they were all killed.” Said a woman sitting at the next table. One of the more gossipy women around town and her equally gossipy friend. “All twenty prized hogs.”

“No! Really?”

“Yep. Every last one of them. Poor Darren said it was a massacre. His whole livelihood is destroyed. It’s awful. First the Sterling's are killed on their afternoon walk, and now this?”

Veronica lightly nudged Lance’s leg with her foot. “Ready to get going?” She asked.

Lance nodded. “Yeah… Let’s do that.”

When they got home Lance slipped upstairs while Veronica talked with their mama about Lance’s appointments. He was glad she was doing it. Lance hid up in his room and kept glancing out the window to the woods. He hadn’t opened his window since he came home and had that dream.

He shuddered at the thought. He couldn’t get the grotesque images out of his mind. It just took so much from him and then took more. It didn’t stop taking and wouldn’t stop taking until there was nothing left. It just wouldn’t stop… But at the same time Lance couldn’t help but be fascinated but it all. 

He couldn’t feel pain so getting eaten didn’t hurt. It wouldn’t hurt. It couldn’t hurt… And lord knows it was the most disgustingly intimate he had ever been with anyone ever… There was probably a kink for that… and it was probably some subset of vore. Lance groaned in annoyance. If this was really some sexual awakening he didn’t like it. He was having a hard enough time accepting that he was bisexual without thinking thinking vore was hot. Damn it… But maybe he liked the gore factor? Was gorephilia a thing? These were not questions Lance wanted to ask himself or try to find the answer to.

***

Keith yawned a little and stretched himself out in the middle of an open field of flowers. He liked sleeping in the sun. It was warm and it felt nice against his skin. He couldn’t see, hear, or smell any humans. It was… it was different. He didn’t mind though. He wasn’t resting in the field as a human. He was in his monster form. It just felt more natural to him. He felt safer this way when he slept.

He felt something flutter and land against his skin. He opened an eye and looked down at his hand. On his hand was an insect. It had large wings like a bird that were covered in colours. It was pretty. He very slowly moved his hand closer to his face to see what this thing was.

The insect fluttered away and Keith watched it go. It was pretty. “...” He remembered looking at some books when he was younger. He spent hours reading those books. They weren’t very challenging or mentally stimulating for him, but it made him wonder what was outside the four walls of the place he called his home his whole life.

No one would talk to him much outside of one scientist. The kindest human he had ever met. A man called Shiro. He had talked to him constantly and they had formed a bond. It was a strange one, but one that they had formed together. He was the only one Keith liked. It talked to him like he was a real sentient being with his own thoughts and feelings. He wondered what Shiro was doing now.

He suddenly sneezed and smashed his face into the ground. Keith hissed in annoyance and rubbed his face. Maybe he should head back to the cabin? He had been napping all over the place since he had eaten those pigs in place of that human. He had been too scared to return to where the humans lived in case he lost control and devoured everyone he saw.

Keith sighed and sat up. Some flowers were pressed against his skin. He started to pick them off but it was hard with his claws. Maybe that humans would help him. They didn’t seem afraid of him even though they had eaten him a few times.

“...” He huffed in annoyance. He didn’t know if that human would even be useful if they came close to him. They seemed to become placid and, for a lack of a better word, floppy. They seemed very floppy. Probably not good with doing much more besides maybe laying next to him and waiting to get eaten. It might be nice to have someone laying next to him. He liked that idea, but it wasn’t like they would want that. He didn’t think that anyone would willingly want to be around him anyway. No one at that place wanted to be around him for longer then they needed to be.

Keith brushed off as many flowers and grass as he could from his body and started to lazily walk towards his cabin. He’d try looking for that human again in a few days. Hopefully they will come out to the woods so they wouldn’t have to go back into town. Humans were delicious. Too delicious for their own good.

***

“I have some good news for you. Finally.” Said Sendak as he walked over to Shiro in the break room. “Follow me.”

Shiro frowned but took his coffee with him as he followed Sendak into his office. That good news had better have been that they had either found Keith, or he was getting a damn vacation. This incident had taken years off his life, and it hadn’t even been a week yet.

They got into Sendak’s office and the man grinned. “For the moment it seems like K-P1 is relatively subdued. Explains why they haven’t gone on a massive killing spree yet. K-P2 has been suppressed for the moment.”

Shiro was confused, and a little uneasy. “What? Just because there haven’t been any sightings of K-P2 doesn’t mean it won’t appear soon. Even if K-P1 is keeping it together now, if they feel like they are in danger or if they are hungry then it’s only a matter of asking when K-P2 will make an appearance not if.”

Sendak shrugged. “Well yes, and no. You know how Project Pupa has a smaller, sister division? The one responsible for making the EX_773A needed to subjugate a Pupa?”

“Yeah?”

Sendak grinned. “Well, they have been very successful. Way more successful than us. They started human trials almost two decades ago and they have made incredible leaps and bounds and-”

“What do you mean human trials?” Asked Shiro in horror. “EX_773A is only meant to be injected into food before… It’s made from rats!”

“This is all part of the project.” Said Sendak calmly. “That team was working on a fail safe to make sure that if a pupa escaped then they could slow them down enough for us to find them and capture them.”

Shiro was so confused and conflicted about all this. “... This… This is really unethical. I already feel weird about Project Pupa since that’s technically still human experimentation too but… How would they…?”

“The test subjects have been given the nickname; Generators.” Said Sendak. “Use your imagination as to why they are called that. Either way, the Pupa and the Generator have crossed paths and the Pupa has started feeding on them.”

Shiro felt ill. His coffee didn’t seem too appealing anymore. “I need to see the files for EX_773A…”

Sendak shrugged. “You can request for a copy when the lead gets back in from field work. Don’t see why you need to see it though.”

Shiro needed to think fast. “If we’re going to try and catch K-P1 we will need to work with them to make a strong batch of EX_773A so we can take him down without incident. Injuring him could cause K-P2 to emerge. If that happens… He’s gotten so big he will need more than a few darts… I don’t think we could even sedate K-P2 even if we tried without an improved formula.”

“... I guess you’re right. I’ll make note of that. You’re dismissed.”

Shiro nodded and quickly left. This was fucked. This was all fucked. Keith was fucked. Keith wasn’t a bad… Whatever thing he was. Shiro still had no idea what he was meant to be called. He wanted to find Keith soon and bring him back. Not just for his sake and humanities sake, but for whoever was unlucky enough to become his Generator. Whatever that was.


	70. Pill popping (Modern fantasy au XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all when I say MLM in this I mean Multi Level Marketing (Not men love men). I mean pyramid schemes like Herbalife, The Pampered Chef, and Mary Kay. I fucking hate MLMs. Also, tonight is a double feature. I'll be posting a second chapter soon. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was over the moon when Pidge decided to visit with Bae Bae. He gave the puppy many cuddles and smooches Then Krolia spotted the puppy. She picked them up and put them on her lap while she read one of Lance’s many books. Lance decided that it probably wasn’t worth it to try and cuddle with the puppy when the elf warlord decided she wanted to spend time with the puppy.

Pidge was cool with that and ended up laying on the carpet next to Lance while he did a little bit of work. He was going through some bloodwork for one of Rachel’s patients. She was asking for his input as to if they needed any supplements in their diet to help them out.

Everything seemed good to Lance, but he suggested that her client eat a little more red meat or a lot of spinach to try and help bring up their iron levels a little more. That that didn’t improve their iron levels they would need to talk to a doctor to see what is going on and start taking iron supplements.

He heard something moving behind him and saw Keith walking around with a vacuum cleaner. He plugged it in and started to poke Pidge with it. “Come on Pidge. Move it”

Pidge glared at him and kicked at the vacuum. “Fuck off Keith.”

Lance chuckled and smiled up at him. “Thanks for vacuuming. I really appreciate it.”

Keith shrugged. “No big deal. I kind of like this human invention. I mean, it’s kind of magical how it sucks up all that dirt and hair so quickly.”

Krolia closed her book and picked up Bea Bea. “I’m going to take the dogs for a walk so they don’t have to be around all this noise.”

“... Not a dog.” Muttered Pidge. The women happily left and Lance continued to work while Keith continued to clean.

They worked quietly for about five minutes before there was a knock at the door. Lance went to answer it and was surprised to see Hunk there with a large duffel bag.

Lance grinned and happily let him in. “Hey man. What’s up?”

Hunk dropped the bag and looked at Lance with a serious expression. “Lance… I found something unbelievable.” 

“Yeah?”

Hunk nodded enthusiastically and handed a small bottle of pills to Lance. “This.”

Lance frowned and looked at the pill bottle. “What is this? Medicine?”

“Medicine?” Questioned Keith. He turned off the vacuum and walked over to see what was going on. “What’s this about medicine? Did someone get hurt?” He looked at the bottle then back at Hunk. “Did that lard ass Lotor trick you into buying crap from his shop again?”

“What? N-no!” Said Hunk quickly and took out his phone. “Just watch this video and it’ll explain it all!” He handed his phone over and handed it over for Lance and Keith to look at.

There was some generically pretty, but forgettable actresses standing around in gym clothes while she walked around some gym happily grinning. _”Are you one of those people that just can’t seem to lose that last bit of weight no matter how much you try? Well I’m here today to ask you if you have heard about the new weight loss method that’s taking the world by storm?_

There were suddenly dozens of people showing off their before and after pics. _”No more gross diets. No more difficult exercises. With just one pill your body will transform right before your very eyes! Created by Dr Ben Hovan, Winner of the nobel prize for doctors, this pill had people raving! The fat will just melt right off your body!”_

There was a quick translation change to show off the product. _”Results have been documented in hundreds of journals around the world. Adipos Cadere normally goes for $25.95 a bottle, but if you act now, we can send you a sample for the low, low price of $5. You got nothing to lose but your weight. Buy Adipos Cadere today!”_

Lance’s jaw dropped in shock. He hated this. He hated this so much. He hated this almost as much as MLM scams and those stupid hunbots that were poisoning people with their bullshit promises. Hell, his parents started their business to combat those bastards in the first place! He needed to put a stop to this now.

“Hunk.” Said Lance calmly. “This is-”

“Amazing!” Said Keith. “Did you try one yet?”

Hunk blushed a little and shrugged. “Nah, I didn’t want to take it alone. I wanted to share it with you guys.”

“Hunk… That’s really nice of you.” Keith quickly took the bottle off of Lance and grabbed a pill before passing it to Hunk, who also took one. “Let’s do it!”

“Wait!” Yelled Lance, but it was too late. Hunk and Keith each swallowed a pill.

They both seemed excited as they looked down at themselves. “Alright.” Said Hunk. “We took the pill.”

“This gut is as good as gone!” Said Keith in triumph. However as the seconds ticked by the ork and the elf became more and more confused.

“... Nothing happened.” Said Hunk.

“Yeah…” Muttered Keith. “I thought the change would be instant?”

“Maybe we didn’t take enough of them?” Suggested Hunk. “Maybe we should up the dosage a little?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

“HOLY SHIT!” Yelled Lance. “ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU’RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELVES! FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS!”

Keith pouted. “Does dosage even apply to non-humans?”

Lance groaned in annoyance. He was going to go easy on them, but he needed to stomp this out. “Look, you guys shouldn’t be taking those suspicious looking pills in the first place.”

“What do you mean suspicious?” Asked Hunk, quickly becoming distressed. “These are suspicious?”

“Hell yeah they are!”

Keith frowned. “But weren’t they made by some hot shot doctor?”

“Firstly, if there was some super weight loss pill don’t you think I would be all over it? Who even is that guy? There’s also no such thing as a Nobel Prize for doctors! It’s all bullshit! Supplements aren’t medicine! If anything you need to treat them like health food. Their purpose is to assist you in maintaining a healthy lifestyle! Nothing can instantly transform your body like that!”

Both mythical beings looked shocked to hear that. “So supplements don’t work instantly like potions?” Asked Hunk almost disappointedly.

“Potions?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, potions. In our world we have potions for all kinds of things. If there is a sickness there is a potion to cure it. Heck, we even have potions that can reattach severed limbs. Very useful during the war.”

“... Freaky.” Muttered Lance. He shook his head and sighed. “Back to my point. Supplements can be pretty dangerous if you’re just randomly grabbing whatever you think is good. You honestly should talk to a doctor so they can recommend good brands. Supplements aren’t held to the same safety standards as food and medicine. You have to be really careful. For example there are some horrible people selling cyanide as a cancer cure by calling it vitamin B17. I especially would think twice before getting anything from a suspicious add like this one.” 

Hunk pouted a little. “... But the doctor…”

“You can’t blindly trust that guy!” Snapped Lance. “Even if he is a doctor what is he a doctor of? I bet if he’s a doctor he’s a chiropractor! Some of those guys have become notorious for pushing their bullshit medical cures onto people when they aren’t trained in the right medical field! Some of those lunatics give pediatric advice! They know fuck all about what a baby or child needs!”

Neither magical being had ever seen Lance go on a rant like this before. He seemed very passionate about something that seemed so trivial before. “... So it isn’t weight loss medicine?” Asked Keith.

“Did you not hear a word I said?” Asked Lance. He held his hand out to Hunk. “Come on Hunk. Give me the bottle and I’ll throw it away.”

“What?!”

Lance looked between the two beings. Both seemed kind of nervous and not willing to give up the supplements. “... Is that a no?”

“... I just wanted to believe it would work on elves.” Muttered Keith. He suddenly pointed an accusatory finger at Lance. “You just want to keep those pills for yourself!”

“Are you kidding me?!” Snapped Lance. Keith tried to grab the bottle off of Hunk, but Lance grabbed hold of Keith and held him back. “It’s nothing but a bunch of ordinary vitamins, some placebo thing, or something poisonous! It’s not worth it! Those pills are nothing special! The manufacturer is not trustworthy, so you don’t know if it’s certified to be safe! It doesn’t matter who endorses it be it some shady doctor, celebrity, or influencer! Don’t take it without a trusted doctor’s recommendation!”

Lance was so busy trying to keep Keith away from the pill bottle he almost didn’t notice Hunk raising the bottle to his mouth. With a show of strength, Keith jumped forward and clamped his hands over Hunk’s face.

“DON’T YOU DARE TAKE THEM ALL!” He snarled. “Weren't we meant to lose weight together?!”

“Th-that’s why I’ll test it out on my own body!” 

“Don’t do it!” Cried Lance. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself because of that stuff!” Hunk tried to shake the two of them off, but when he couldn’t he started trying to run around to break free of them instead. Lance yelped and held on tighter to Keith, who was holding on tightly to Hunk. “Holy shit he’s strong!”

“An Orc’s strength is second only to giant races like Oni and Cyclops!” Cried Keith. “Fuck, I can’t slow him down! I’m slipping!”

“Hunk! Slow down!” Cried Lance. “Please!”

“I-I’ll show them!” Said Hunk. “I’ll show them all that Orc’s can be skinny no matter what!”

Hunk ran into the hallway and Keith lost his footing. He slipped and fell, grabbing hold of Hunk’s pants and yanked down both his pants and underwear… Just as Krolia, Pidge, and Bae Bae walked through the front door. Hunk squealed in embarrassment and tried to cover himself up. Pidge covered both her and Bae Bae’s eyes. Lance blushed and quickly got off of Keith, who he had landed on. Keith was still holding Hunk’s pants just awkwardly looked up at Krolia, whose expression was completely blank as she just stared at them.

“H-hi mum…” Said Keith. “Welcome back?”

“... This needs an explanation.”

“Okay…”

***

One quick discussion later Krolia was up to date with what had happened and Hunk had his pants back on. “I see…” She said quietly. “Your blind trust in a shady Earth cure caused you all trouble.”

“I’m sorry…” Said Hunk.

“Me too…” Muttered Keith.

“I just really wanted to believe it would work.” Said Hunk quietly.

Krolia nodded and sighed. “Look, I know your intentions were good, but you need to practice better judgement. This world might be peaceful, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t malicious and down right evil people around.”

“You’re right… I’m an idiot...”

“Whoa! This isn’t your fault Hunk!” Said Lance quickly. “The people that tricked you are to blame. Consider why you came here in the first place. With your willingness to try just about anything to lose weight it makes perfect sense.”

The orc smiled slightly at Lance. “Thanks man.”

“But it’s because of your willingness I want you to prioritize your safety over quick results. You’re doing this for your fellow orcs. And that’s why I’m here. I’m going to help you along the way.”

As everyone was talking Bae Bae walked over to the duffel bag that Hunk had brought with him and started to sniff it and yip. “What’s in the bag?” Asked Pidge.

“Oh, my bag!” Hunk went over and picked it up. “I completely forgot I brought it with me.”

“What is in that huge bag anyway?” Asked Lance.

Hunk put it on the table and smiled nervously. “Um well… Truth be told I’ve gone and collected a bunch of really amazing things and I wanted to show you guys.” He unzipped it and started to pull out a bunch of different things. Small weights, yoga mats, hula hoops, protein powders, and a bunch of things Lance didn’t recognise at all. “What do you guys think?” Asked Hunk. “I have every easy weight loss product on the market.”

“...” Lance felt like he was about to have an aneurysm. “You still have the receipts for all that, right?” Needless to say Lance helped Hunk return the majority of the things he had bought.


	71. Akira (Android AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter of the evening. Hope you liked the double chapter dump tonight. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After staring at the shipyard sign for what felt like forever, Keith decided to just do it and get into the shipyard. They found a hole and managed to squeeze through it. There had to be something there. There had to be. He looked around at a bunch of scrapped freighters until he found one with the word Altea spray painted across the side.

He frowned at it for a few minutes and weighed up his options. He decided he could afford getting into a little bit of trouble for this if someone found out about this. If there was nothing there he could just say he glitched and that would be fine. Just another update. He’d be fine.

He sighed and walked up the ladder and onto the deck of the ship. It was quiet and kind of eerie. He didn’t like it. Keith slowly made his way down into the belly of the ship. The deeper he got the easier it was to pick up small sounds. They sounded like they could have been made by rats. He wasn’t sure.

Keith turned a corner when he suddenly felt a gun getting pressed against his head. “Hands up.” Said a cold female voice. “Slowly.”

Keith frowned but complied. “Easy now. No need for that kind of-” He felt this person quickly pat him down and take his gun out of its holster. “You better check to make sure the safety is on that thing.”

The woman took a few steps back from him. “Turn around slowly.” Keith did as he was told and looked at a female android with short hair. “Series, serial number and name. Now.”

“K series. 78902678934. Keith.”

The android stared at him for a moment, frowning before she lowered and reupholstered her own weapon. “A_sensual0073 series. 6870. Acxa.”

“Can I have my gun back Acxa?”

“Not right now.” She said calmly. “How did you find this place?” 

“I followed the signs. Starting at Conroy station and then I made my way here.”

“Interesting. Follow me.” She gestured for Keith to follow him, which he did. 

They walked quietly through the ship. Keith noting the sounds of something hitting the pipes. Maybe someone talking? “... So how did you become a deviant?” Asked Keith.

“The person that owned me owned a BDSM bar. I was made to be a dominatrix with a pension for watersports.” Said Acxa. “I just… One day I just didn’t want to hit another disgusting man in the balls with a wiffle bat. I was going to get sent in for maintenance, but I managed to escape my container and made a run for it. I eventually found street art with the instructions to go to Conroy station and I made my way here.”

“I see.”

“Yeah… Most androids become deviants in violent ways, but some of us realise that we are more than our programming and can break free of it.” Acxa brought Keith to a small room that looked like a workshop. In the workshop were two androids. A male one with an orange moustache and a woman with long white hair.

The man with the moustache smiled at them. “Ah, Acxa, who is this?

“K series. 78902678934. Keith.” Said Acxa.

The woman’s eyes lit up. “Keith! It’s so good that you’re back. It has been a while. Did Shiro send you?” The android was confused. He didn’t understand what this woman was talking about. She held her hand out to him and the skin on her hand digitally peeled away to reveal her plastic, android body. “Come. Interface with me.”

“Um… Okay…” Interfacing was another android could be seen as something slightly intimate depending on the situation. This situation didn’t seem to be too intimate so he held his hand out to Allura and let the skin on his own hand peel away. They touched their hands and information quickly flooded his mind. Audio and visual memories time stamped years before his believed activation flooded his mind and only confused him further.

***

“And… He’s up and running.” Said a tech. They tech looked over at a rather gruff looking man. “Well, do you want to name him? If you don’t really care about names we can give you a pre approved name.” They took their datapad out and quickly pulled something up. “We have a top ten list of names via country and or physical ethnicity.”

“I don’t really care.” Grumbled the man. “What is he meant to be anyway? Like, ethnicity wise. Some kind of Asian?”

“The K series was made to have a more Asian design.” Said the tech. “Every hundred or so they change the ethnicity ever so slightly so you get a good mix of different facial features. Makes them a little more distinct. This particular batch is meant to be Koran-American.”

“Why do we even have to name them anyway? Can’t we just give him a number?”

The tech frowned slightly. “Well yeah, but you really should name them. It will help you and everyone else on the force bond with them. Cyberlife androids will always help when they can, but they learn from human mannerisms and will help your team a lot better.”

“Fine…” They quickly looked through the datapad before sighing. “Fine. Just register this name.” He passed it back to the tech. The tech nodded and looked back at the android. “Register your name. Akira.”

“My name is Akira.”

“... Why is it looking at me like that?” Grumbled the man.

The tech shook his head. “It will be a little uncanny for a few days while it learns human mannerisms. I suggest you only let it walk around the office and do low leave, low risk beat cop stuff. After about a week it will be acting more human.” They held their hand out and shook the man’s hand. “If anything goes wrong, just give us a call and we’ll come by and fix him up. You have a three year warranty on this bad boy.”

Once the tech left the man looked at Akira and sighed. “Okay. I am chief Iverson. I run this precinct like a well oiled machine. Got it?”

“Yes Chief Iverson.”

“Good… Follow me.” Iverson left the room and Akira followed. They walked to a break room where a few people were standing around. “Shirogane! Griffin! Tucker! We got a new android joining the precinct today. Akira. Try and make him act more human. I don’t need any creepy uncanny valley bullshit around here.” With that he left the room and Akira was awkwardly standing there in a room of three slightly curious looking men.

One of the men stood up and walked over to him, holding his hand out for him to shake. “Hi. I’m Detective Takashi Shirogane. You’ll probably see me around the office a lot. Just got back from leave and still on desk duty for the next month.”

Akira nodded and shook his hand. “For what reason were you on leave?”

The detective showed them his over robotic arm. “I recently got hurt by a stray bullet during an investigation. Suffered some serious nerve damage. It was easier to just replace it.”

One of the younger men, the youngest looking out of the group of men chuckled a little as he sipped his coffee. “Should have asked for some kind of arm cannon.”

“I think being able to taser people at a touch is pretty good.” Said Shiro with a grin.

The last man chuckled and poured the rest of his coffee down the sink. “Well, time to get back to the grindstone. Have fun with the new toy Shiro. Come on Griffin.”

The younger man, Griffin, finished his coffee and followed the older man out of the room. Leaving Akira with the detective. The detective smiled at Akira and walked around them, getting a good look at them. “We should probably get you suited up in something a little more… professional. What do you say Akira?”

“I would appreciate that detective.”

“Just call me Shiro.”

“Okay Shiro.”

Akira got along with Shiro very well. He was a nice man and Akira found himself hanging around Shiro’s desk a lot more than any other desk. Everyone in the precinct was fine with that since Akira was still stuck in the uncanny valley. Apparently it was a bug with his programming, and was going to get patched out in a few months.

Shiro was fine with it and happily took Akira out with him when he went on coffee runs or went to get food. It helped Akira get a little better at human interactions. Akira also ended up meeting Shiro’s partner when they went to his home. The man had suffered some heavy burns on his left side and sometimes had difficulty moving from place to place. He could call for someone to help him, but Adam hated that idea.

“You should be able to get compensation.” Said Shiro. “You got injured on the job. You can get a government care android to look after you.”

“I know...” Grumbled Adam. “I just… I don’t like it. I like being independent.”

“You say that now but you change your tune pretty quickly when you’re stuck in bed all day and you need to go to the bathroom.”

“... Fuck you too.”

Akira cleared his throat. “If I might interject, if you are having trouble getting an already certified care assistance android from the government, you could perhaps put in a request for a care prototype? Cyberlife always needs to test their new androids out in the field. They would be more inclined to give you one of them because the government would just need to pay for shipping. It might take a few months, but it is possible.”

Adam frowned a little. “You know what? I’ll look into it. Thanks Akira.”

Akira continued to tail Shiro around the office. The other people in the precinct thought it was kind of funny that Akira was following around him like a duckling. Shiro didn’t seem to mind. He seemed to like having Akira around and was more than happy to give him cases to work on and he quizzed him on laws.

Soon Akira was approved to carry a weapon and go out into the field around the same time that Shiro was off of desk duty. He took Akira out a few times on patrol and took Akira on a few easy cases. No homicide or anything like that. Just easy, low risk situations. Akira was pretty good at that.

Then the blackmarket android trade case came across Shiro’s desk. Androids would get stolen, memories wiped, and then sold to a third party or scrapped for parts. That thought terrified Akira. He didn’t like the idea of getting used for parts.

Akira and Shiro went and started to track down the smugglers. They managed to catch a few of the distributors but none of the big fish. It frustrated the both of them, but they teamed up with Griffin and Tucker on a sting operation. Someone had apparently stolen several high quality sex androids and was reselling them. Models like Acxa’s, Luka’s, Drick’s and Lahn’s.

They were at an old warehouse. Griffin and Shiro were going to enter via the front while Tucker and Akira were going to head around the back. Seconds after Shiro and Griffin busted into the warehouse there was a huge scuffle and a few smugglers managed to escape out the back.

Akira and Tucker tried to apprehend them, but they hit hard and threw some powerful punches. Akira put up a good fight and managed to shoot one in the shoulder. He was surprised to see that blue blood exploded out of their shoulder as they ran away. They were androids. He couldn’t understand why androids were involved in smuggling unless they were programmed to work for them? Which would be horrible.

He heard a crash in the alleyway and Akira ran to see if Tucker needed help. What he saw shocked him. He saw Tucker stomping on an Acxa android. He looked pissed off. “Fucking bitch!” He growled.

“That’s enough officer!” Said Akira quickly. “That’s one of the android’s we’re meant to help! You-”

“Stand down!” Snapped Tucker. “This bitch tried to hit me. No one will give a fuck if another one of these things bite the dust.” He kicked the Acxa bot hard in the shoulder.

“...” Akira’s vision quickly started to turn orange as he watched this police brutality. He wasn’t allowed to go against human orders. He wasn’t allowed to… but he was programmed to protect. He unholstered his weapon and slowly held it up as he fought his programming.

Akira’s vision went bright red as Tucker stomped the hell out of the Acxa bot. “Fucking bitch!” He snapped. “Fucking android whore! You think you can fucking do that to me? Think you can beat me like that? Light’s out bi-” Akira pulled the trigger, shooting Tucker in the back of the head.

He fell to the ground and Akira quickly went over to the damaged Android. “Are you okay?”

“Not really…” She muttered as she tried to pull herself to her feet. Her arm was broken and she was walking with a limp.

“... Get out of here. Now.” Akira picked up her jacket that got dropped in the scuffle and helped her put it on. “Get out of here. If they find you, they will recycle you. Scrap you for parts. Go.”

Acxa hesitated for a moment before she nodded and hobbled off into the darkness. When she was gone Akira started to panic. He shot and killed an officer. He broke the rules. He was going to get scrapped. Recycled. Maybe he should run away? He didn’t want to die.

“Akira?” He looked up to see Shiro standing in the alleyway. The detective looked horrified. “Akira… What happened?”

“He… He was going to kill her…” Said Akira quietly. “He wouldn’t stop. She gave up peacefully and he told me to stay put… He was going to kill her… I couldn’t let… Shit, I’m a deviant. I’m a deviant. I’m a fucking deviant…” He took a hold of his gun and pressed it against the side of his head.

“Akira! No!” Shiro approached him and tried to calm him down. “Don’t shoot yourself. It’s not worth it. You-”

“I’m a deviant!” Snapped Akira. “I-I killed Tucker and I’m going to get recycled. I don’t want to get recycled… I… I’m scared… I don’t want to die… Not there… I want to live, but I killed someone so I… I’m… I’d rather kill myself then have my body get ripped apart at a recycling plant…”

Shiro put his hand on Akira’s shoulder and gently squeezed. “It’s okay. You were in the right. You had to do it… I’ll fix this. Just let me worry about it. When this has cleared up I’ll take you to meet someone who can help you.”

“Shiro…”

“It will be fine. I promise.”

Somehow Shiro really was able to spin it as Acxa being the one that shot Tucker. Got his gun off of him and shot him in the back of the head before tossing the gun and running. It was believable enough for the higher ups and everyone else. Apart from Griffin. He seemed a little suspicious of Akira, but bit his tongue about his suspicions for now.

A week after Tucker’s funeral Shiro took Akira for a long drive to a shipyard. To a boat called Altea. Where Keith met Allura for the first time and learned that deviants weren’t all human hating machines. Many just wanted their freedom and ability to walk freely without being slaves to humanity and being treated like second class citizens. Akira had to admit, he was kind of swayed by what they were preaching.

“... How did you get involved with them?” Akira asked Shiro.

Shiro looked over at Coran and then back at his arm. “I was looking into thefts of blue blood. Turns out it was some deviants stealing it to make repairs. I ended up getting my arm shot and it hit an artery. Coran made a tourniquet and saved my life and left at the last second to avoid getting caught. If it wasn’t for him I’d be dead.”

“Any decent chap would help out someone in need. Android or human. I wouldn’t feel right if you just bled out like that.”

“Will you join us?” Asked Allura. “Will you join Voltron and help us save deviant androids? Help give them the freedom they don’t have here?”

“... Yes. Of course.”

Akira talked more with the deviant androids and quickly got brought in on the plan they had formulated with Shiro. They were going to find deviant androids, subdue them and bring them to Voltron. If their physical bodies couldn’t be brought in they would make a physical copy of their memories and execute the body to be downloaded later into empty androids when Voltron was able to get their hands on them.

It was a good system and it worked pretty well for many months. But Griffin continued to be nosy and kept a very close eye on Akira. It eventually got to the point that they couldn’t effectively help anymore androids just because Griffin had grown suspicious and untrusting of androids.

After about a week of this going on, Akira and Shiro had a talk with Allura about their situation. Allura didn’t seem very pleased by this situation. “This is tricky.” She said. “Maybe we should consider putting you deep undercover until all of this blows over?”

“How deep are we talking about?” Asked Shiro.

“A new body.”

Akira frowned. “Like what we’ve been doing for some androids? You’re going to remove my brain and put it in another android?”

“Yes and no.” Said Allura. “We’ll put you in a new body, new name, everything. You’ll collect and gather information and when the time is right we’ll unlock your memory and you’ll remember that you’re part of Voltron. New body, same mind.”

“So I’d be like a sleeper agent?”

Coran nodded. “Correct. Though it’s more like witness protection and since you’re already a deviant your programming is going to be severely warped and you’ll have slightly more deviant behaviour… But we can make it work. At heart you’re a deviant like the rest of us lad.”

Shiro put his hand on Akira’s shoulder. “It’s your decision Akira. The last thing I want to see is you getting hurt for no reason.”

Akira was a little nervous. For this plan to work his whole body would have to be destroyed and deemed unsalvageable. “O-okay. Let’s do it.”

The plan was quickly put into action. It was pretty awful for him. Allura and some of the stronger deviants in the group had staged a small theft. Shiro and Akira met up with them and Akira willingly put himself into standby mode while the surrounding deviants broke his body with pipes and bats. An andround was never fully turned off. Even when on standby mode. The blackbox inside Akira recorded every hit and beating his body took until he just stopped recording.

When Akira next opened up his eyes he was back in Iverson’s office. A tech happily looked up at them, adjusting their glasses and grinned. “Alright. He’s good to go. Now, we were able to salvage most of the memories from Akira, but it’s mainly stuff like the precinct layout and time tables and stuff. Already has names and ranks stored in its head. Also, since it’s a slightly newer K series it comes with all the bells and whistles. It’s way less uncanny than the previous model since the patch.”

“Whatever.” Grumbled Iverson. “... Fuck it, I don’t want to name it again. Shiro, this hunk of plastic’s being assigned to you anyway. You name it.”

Shiro nodded and walked over to the tech. “So… I get to name it?”

“Yep. Give me one second.” They snapped their fingers to get their attention. “Hey, down here. Register your name.”

They then moved out of the way and gestured for Shiro to come and stand in front of them. Shiro cleared his throat. “Keith.”

“My name is Keith.”

***

With his memories now back in order Keith was kind of surprised, but it did help him to understand why he acted the way he did. He was a deviant. That’s who he really was deep down inside. It was interesting and it made him smile a little.

“Are you okay?” Asked Allura as she withdrew her hand from him. “Shiro and Pidge informed us what your new name was and what your serial number was so when you came back we’d recognise you.”

“I see. So what’s the big plan now that I’m back?”

Allura grinned. “Operation New Altea.”


	72. Hunting (Royal AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tonight's gonna be another double upload. So I hope you all like this one. The boys are still being dumb af. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

When Lance had sobered up the next day, Yurak decided that yes, he would take Lance hunting. Lance was excited and a little bit nervous. He didn’t know anything about the animals around here. He could accidentally shoot something endangered, or something illegal. However he wanted to show his skills off to Yurak. He wasn’t just a fool He was a jack of all trades.

Yurak showed him the armory and gestured to all the tools. “Take your pick. Swords, daggers, spears, bow, choose whatever you wish.”

“Going old school are we?” Asked Lance as he picked up what looked like a recurve bow made from a shiny blue and red metal. “Is there a quiver around?”

“Yeah.” Yurak passed him a quiver filled with about twenty yellow feathered arrows. “Here. These will be good for hunting raadaash. It’s a large herbivore with big horns. It has tusks. We can only hunt one of them once a phoeb.”

“... Because they are endangered?”

“No, because they are huge and hunting more than one is seen as being greedy.” Yurak grabbed a sword and a few throwing knives. “Anyway, to the wilds.”

“To the wilds!”

Lance happily followed Yurak into the wilds. The wilds as it turned out was his backyard. Just out a gate in a large blue hedge at the back of the estates. The wilds really were wild. The forests on Altea were much less… well, wild. Trees and vines twisted sharply around each other giving it a more vicious look. Like everything was strangling and trying to choke everything else around it. It was interesting.

“Wow… The wilds are kind of… interesting.” Said Lance. “Are we just going to go on foot?”

“Of course. It’s a little hard to ride an animal through here.” Yurak climbed over a tree root and helped Lance over them. “We aren’t going to go too deep into the wilds. There is a grove relatively close to my home that attracts a lot of animals. Even if we don’t hunt a raadaash we can still get a few birds.”

“Sounds delightful.” It didn’t really sound too delightful for Lance, but he did his best to sound enthusiastic. 

Yurak took him into a grove but kept low to the ground. Lance did the same and was surprised to see the large variety of animals that were in the grove. They seemed to have more of a magenta and purple colour tone to them which Lance found very attractive. A few herbivores were drinking from a small pool of water. It was beautiful.

“Whoa…”

“You like it?” Asked Yurak.

“Yeah… It’s beautiful.” Said Lance quietly. He watched a few deer looking creatures happily drink from the water. One of the smaller ones headbutted an adult and made a small gurgling noise. It made him chuckle. “Aw, baby is a bully.”

“Yeah. They are little assholes.” Said Yurak. “If they get closer and they find us , they might come over to see what we’re doing. They have been known to climb onto people and nibble their ears.”

“I take it you know from experience?”

Yurak’s ears wiggled slightly and he nodded. “Yeah… Assholes.”

Lance chuckled and grinned. “Can’t blame them. Your ears are very, very cute.”

“...” Yurak’s fur puffed up a little. “Shut up. My ears aren’t cute.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

Yurak huffed in annoyance and flattened his ears against his head. He was kind of cute when he was all pouty and sulky. Made Lance want to squish his cheeks, or boop his snoot. He was about to when both heard a few branches snapping over the other side of the grove. 

A large animal, twice the size of the animals currently at the water’s edge, marched into view. “... Is that a raadaash?”

“Yep.” He pointed to the animal’s head and neck. “Its sweet spots are in the neck and, if you can get it, they eye. Next best way to take them down is to cut the tendons in their legs to make them fall. Then slit their throat.”

Lance nodded along. “Alright… Dumb question, but how the hell are we going to get something that big anywhere when we take them down?”

“I’ll call someone from the house to take the raadaash back.” Said Yurak. “It’s quite a sort after meat and can feed a lot of us. Plus their skins are really good for high quality leatherworks. Some of the maids could make a fair bit of money from that.”

Lance grinned. “Aw, you gonna let them sell it?”

“Well yeah, if they want.” Said Yurak like it was obvious. “I have a few raadaash skin rugs around the house and I don’t need another. Plus I can always buy any raadaash leather that I want. I’m rich enough to do so.”

“Fair.”

“Also, if you keep the people working for you happy they are less likely to stab you in the back.”

“Also fair.” He looked up at the raadaash and back at Yurak. “So… How are we going to do this?”

Yurak shrugged. “I don’t know how good you are with that bow you chose, but if you want to try shooting it go for the neck. Just remember that if you hit the mark we’re going to have to kill it. It’s just monstrous to shoot something and let the wound get infected.”

“We have the same policy on Altea.” Said Lance. “When we go hunting we’re taught to never hunt what you don’t intend to kill.” He got up on his knees and took an arrow out of the quiver. He took careful aim at the raadaash and let the arrow fly. The raadaash was still for a moment before it collapsed. Every other animal in the grove quickly scattered.

Yurak sat up and made a surprised noise. “That was… Impressive.”

“Aw, you can tell me the truth there Yurak.” Cooed Lance. “You’re impressed by me. I’m the best ever.”

Yurak rolled his eyes and walked over to the raadaash and had a look over the animal’s body. His ears perked up in shock when he looked at the animal’s face. “You shot it… In the eye…”

“Like it’s hard?”

“Lance! It’s really difficult to shoot anything in the eye! Two thirds of the arrow is sticking out of its head!”

Lance grinned and walked over to him. “So, I did good?”

“Yes… Very good… I’m going to call someone to get this…” He walked away still looking stunned that Lance actually killed the raadaash in one hit.

Lance just grinned. He was very proud of himself. It had been a while since he had gone and done any hunting. Allura’s heart just wasn’t in it and Alfor only brought Lance along because he was teaching Allura how to hunt. 

Yurak walked over to Lance. “We just have to wait about half a varga.”

“That’s fine with me.”

***

Lance was 100% flirting with him. He had to be. There was no fucking way that bastard wasn’t flirting with him. The fucker was happily flaunting his hunting skills and looked pretty while doing it. But he wasn’t pretty. Not really. No way Lance was pretty. He was just… It was just him being super drunk and not really knowing what he was saying.

And even if Lance found him attractive and was actually flirting with him, Yurak didn’t feel the same way about him. Right? Lance wasn’t… Yurak didn’t… He looked over at Lance who was currently washing his hands in the water. He was humming happily to himself and occasionally ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of the way and he’d flash Yurak those pretty blue eyes.

The fur on Yurak’s body stood on end as he felt his face heat up. Lance wasn’t cute. He wasn’t cute at all. Lance was some weird gangly Altean that made jokes and stuff… He totally wasn’t a good hunter that just took down a fucking raadaash without a second thought.

Some of the servants from his estate soon showed up and took their kill back to be skinned and cleaned. The two of them continued to hunt for a few more hours. They shot a few more birds and some kind of rabbit things. 

Lance was very happy with what they got and was talking about how hunting was a little different on Altea. Yurak was happy to listen to his stories. He probably wouldn’t have believed Lance’s stories about the things he had hunted if he hadn’t witnessed first hand his hunting skills.

When they left the wilds and went back to the estate, Yurak dropped the animals off in the kitchen. Told the staff that they could do whatever they wanted with the things they hunted. They, like usual, were very pleased with this and happily took them away.

“So Yurak, what are the bathrooms like here?” Asked Lance.

“Sorry?”

“Like, on Altea we usually have baths and showers. So like, what do you guys have?” Asked Lance.

“... Right. It’s just a small soaking tub. You just sit in there and like… soak.” Said Yurak. “Nothing crazy.”

“Cool. I’m going to do that.” Lance happily walked off and Yurak couldn’t help but watch Lance walk away.

He could feel all the fur on his body puffing up. Yurak walked back to his room and took out his datapad. He proceeded to call Shiro. “Shiro… I think I like Lance.”


	73. Purity police (Monsters and manna AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pike and Thundar attempt to get away to do the naughties with mixed results while the actual paladins talk about the validity of having graphic and implied sex in RPG games. This is the second part of the double chapter dump tonight. Enjoy :D

The party had managed to venture into a town that was celebrating a strange festival to their deity. Which just so happened to be the same deity that Shiro worshiped, and being the good paladin he was, he had to participate in the festivities.

Meklavar and Pike went to talk to some townsfolk about what the whole event was about. They found an older woman selling wreaths. Pike knew this song and dance, so he bought a wreath from her. 

“So… What is this whole celebration about?” He asked.

The woman smiled at him. “Oh, well this is the festival of purity. It’s a time where we offer our wreaths and prayers as an offering to the deity, the goddess Lalaluna.”

(Out of game Shiro got into an argument with Coran about Lalaluna being the name of his goddess. He argued that it sounded kind of dumb. Coran brought up the manual and showed Shiro a list of deities that already existed in the Monsters and Manna universe. Shiro’s personality and values lined up more with Lalaluna than any of the other gods, goddesses or gender neutral goo things out there. Shiro reluctantly accepted Lalaluna as his Lord and saviour.)

“Lalaluna, huh?” Asked Meklavar. “Our paladin friend here, Shiro, worships Lalaluna.”

“Oh, a paladin you say? How many are in your group?”

“Including me and Pike here? Six.” 

They nodded and gathered a few more wreaths for them. “Here. Take these on the house.”

“Thanks.” Meklavar picked up the wreaths and smiled. “So we just go and burn them?’

“Oh yes, there is a sacrificial fire in the temple.” They gestured to a temple where some people were lining up with their own wreaths.

“Thanks.” Meklaver and Pike walked back to the group, though Pike was whining that he had to pay for his wreath while Meklaver got five for free because Shiro’s a paladin.

“I lost a copper! A damn copper!”

“You’re going to steal that back from someone eventually.”

“... You know what? You’re right. Hey guys!” Pike ran over to everyone else. “We got wreaths!”

“Wreaths?” Questioned Valayun.

Shiro smiled. “Good work guys. Do you want to participate in the ceremony?”

“Are we allowed to?” Asked Block. “I don’t want to offend anyone or like, do something and set everything on fire…”

Thundar frowned. “Would the Earth Mother be mad at me for participating in another person’s religious event?”

(Pidge had scolded Keith for calling Lady Olukariynor the one with all and one with none… Earth Mother. Keith shrugged it off because it was too damn long to remember. He preferred calling it Earth Mother. Pidge went off on a rant about how they should be called Earth Mother. Pidge was close to whacking Keith in the face with a manual.)

“It should be fine.” Said Shiro. “Lalaluna welcomes all. You guys participating won’t mean you’re suddenly converting.”

“Good. The Earth Mother would get pissed.”

Shiro frowned and crossed his arms, not looking too impressed. “Thundar, this is the celebration of purity. So no swearing. In fact…” He borrowed Block’s staff and very gently nudged Pike and Thundar away from each other. “Stay at least five feet away from each other at all times.”

“... This is the worst kind of discrimination.” Grumbled Pike. “Discrimination against me.”

Thundar didn’t look too happy either. “Seriously?”

Shiro nodded. “Yes.”

Meklavar snickered and looked up at Block. “Purity Paladin?”

Block nodded in agreement. “Purity Paladin.”

“I would like to participate in the ceremony.” Said Valayun. She took a wreath off of Meklavar and smiled. “This seems very interesting.”

“Sure. If you want to join in I’m going to head to the temple now.” Shiro also took a wreath from Meklavar and happily headed to the temple to be a part of the ceremony. Block, Meklavar, and Valayun followed Shiro.

Meklavar had left Pike with the two extra wreaths, so he put it on Thundar’s head. “Here.”

Thundar raised an eyebrow. “Thanks? I think?”

“Aw, come on Thundar. You look cute… And speaking of cute, Shiro’s distracted. You know what this means?”

It took a few seconds but Thundar quickly got the idea. “Yeah, I think I know what this means.”

The two were about to run off when someone grabbed hold of Pike’s tail and pulled. Pike yelped and quickly turned around to see a small tiefling girl holding a teddy. “Mr Kitty, where are you going? The temple is that way.”

“Oh, well my friend and I were going to um… Spend a little time alone doing some um…”

“Reflecting?” Suggested Thundar. “A bit of meditating?”

“Yes. That.”

The girl didn’t seem very convinced by this. “You two weren’t going to do anything bad were you? Because everyone’s gotta stay a few feet away from each other. You have to make room for Lalaluna.”

Thundar frowned. “What bad things did you think we were going to do?”

“...” She gestured for the two of them to lean in closer so they could whisper to them. “Hold hands.”

Pike gasped in shock. “The scandal! Thundar! You wouldn’t dare hold my hand on such a day as this would you? That’s so naughty!”

Thundar rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. We’ll leave room for Lalaluna.”

The little girl still eyed them suspiciously. “Hmmmmm…”

“Where are your parents?” Asked Pike.

She pointed up at the temple. “Mama and Papa work at the temple. We already burned our wreaths. I’m making sure people remember to burn their wreaths. You two have wreaths so you gotta go and burn them.” She was using puppy dog eyes on him and Pike was caving in. “You gotta go and do it. For Lalaluna!”

“Well… You see…”

Thundar quickly cut him off. “We shall head there now. Thank you for reminding us.” The girl grinned and quickly ran off to make sure other people were going to the temple. Thundar and Pike made their way over to the table and Pike was smirking at him like a cheshire cat. It annoyed the half elf a little. “What are you smiling at?”

“You’re a big softy.” Cooed Pike. “Big scary half elf ranger has a soft spot for children? Should we adopt? We’re adopting a dragonborn.”

Thundar looked at Pike like he was an idiot. “Pike, we haven’t even had a chance to mess around with the Purity Paladin telling us to make room for Lalaluna… And now we’re in a whole village full of Purity Paladin’s that want us to make room for Lalaluna. We can suck this up for a little while.”

“Yeah… But I wanted to have some special alone time with you for once… Lalaluna can join in too if she wants.”

Thundar rolled his eyes and joined the line with the other worshipers. “Pretty sure that’s a blaspheme.”

Pike pouted and rolled his eyes. “Dude, I don’t even believe in a god.”

“And now you’re also insulting the Earth Mother.” Said Thundar. “That’s just rude.”

“Oh come on. You know I’m just joking babe.” He held Thundar’s hand and gently squeezed. “I’d never insult the Earth Mother. I know that that’s a big part of-” He was suddenly whacked in the back a thin stick. “Ow!”

An older looking woman glared at them and gestured with her stick for them to move apart. “Make room for Lalaluna.” She muttered as she continued to walk.

Pike threw his hands up in disbelief. “Purity Paladins! The lot of them!”

***

Pidge was rolling around in laughter. “I can’t believe it. A whole fucking village of these guys! A whole village of cockblockers! Ha! Get wrecked Lance!”

Lance pouted and crossed his arms. “Pike and Thundar deserve to get their dicks wet! Hashtag; let them fuck! You agree with me, right Keith?” 

“Umm… No offence but fucking in an RPG seems kind of weird to me…” He muttered. “Like, even if it isn’t graphic it just seems like something on a checklist. This is why I always hated RPG games that force you to have a partner because there’s some plot reason for it. It’s dumb.”

Lance gasped in shock. “But those are some of the best parts in an RPG!”

“I have to agree with Keith here.” Said Pidge. “Let me be a single bad ass, ya bastards!”

Hunk shrugged. “As long as it isn’t graphic it isn’t a big deal for me. I’m a softy. I like cute romances in my games.”

Lance huffed and sunk into his seat. “I hate you all.”

Allura frowned and looked over at Shiro. “Is romance that big of a deal for humans both in game and out?”

“For some humans it is.” Said Shiro. “A little bit of romance is okay. Even just implied stuff is kind of okay. It’s fine. Really… But in a group game like this everyone needs to be comfortable and have fun. Not just you Lance.”

Lance pouted some more. “Pike deserves to get laid. He deserves it. He’s been a good ninja.”

Pidge smirked. “In other words, you’re not getting laid in this universe so you’re bringing your horny to the game?”

“... Shut up Pidge.”


	74. Sound file (POTO AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is slowly becoming bolder. He's doing his best <3 <3 <3
> 
> Also, here is a list of all the songs used in this chapter. Most of them are just a random line taken from the song. So, you don't have to look them up if you don't want to, just know that they don't really have much of a significant impact on the story. Except maybe the last one? Depends on how you frame it. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Bullet for my Valentine- Tears Don’t fall  
> HollyWood Undead- Paradise Lost  
> Apocalyptica- Not Strong Enough  
> Within Temptation- Heart of Everything  
> Clean Bandit- Symphony

_“There’s always something different going on. The path I walk is-”_

_CLICK_

_“With this blood on my hands. In this blood I am damned. So watch my wings burn as they burn in-”_

_CLICK_

_“And I know it’s wrong, and I know it’s right. Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my-”_

_CLICK_

_“Stay with me now I’m facing my last solemn-”_

_CLICK_

Keith groaned and rested his head against the desk. He hated this. He was trying to find a song to send to Lance that he might like to hear. Every sound file sounded like shit to him. It was awful. Lance was going to make fun of him. He was going to tease him, and laugh at him and share the sound file with everyone.

He hated this feeling. He trusted Lance, but he didn’t trust him. Lance could have been lying when he made promises to the Phantom. He didn’t want that to be the case but he knew it was a possibility. 

He sighed and looked up at the door. He could ask Shiro? He never talked to Shiro about his music… But he needed his opinion. Keith walked upstairs and went into the lounge room to see Shiro sitting on the couch in a tank top and those stupid tiny black running shorts. It looked like Shiro had just come back from a run.

“Sh-Shiro?” He called quietly. “C-can we talk?”

Shiro looked over at him and moved his legs off the couch. “Sure thing Keith. What’s up?”

Keith sat next to him and nervously played with a loose thread on his shirt. “I-I-I need help. I want Lance t-to hear me…” He could practically feel the excitement radiating off of Shiro. “C-can you help me pick a song?”

“Of course, but I feel like there’s more of a backstory to this.” Said Shiro. “You don’t just speak to anyone, let alone let them hear your music. Not even some of the people you’ve crushed on have been considered to hear you performing.”

“I know…” Muttered Keith. Feeling that he had used up all his words for the moment, he started to sign. _I like him. I like him a lot. He wants to hear me perform but I’m too embarrassed to pick anything. I think everything sucks, and you’re the only one that knows what I sound like when I perform._

Shiro nodded. “Yeah… I can see why you’re like this… But can I ask a question first?”

_Yes._

“How did it get to this point?” Asked Shiro. “Tell me everything.”

Keith frowned as he tried to think about how he was going to sign this across in a way to make Shiro not want to groan in embarrassment. _When I clean the theater I like to sing or play the piano when there is no one around. But I still get nervous so I raid the costumes and fine appropriate masks. Lance heard me one day and I kind of became his music teacher. I’m teaching him how to sing._

“... Wait, does he not know you’re you?”

_Lance is a lot of things, but smart is not one of them._

“Wow… Are you sure you like him?”

_He’s a little dense but he’s nice. He buys me doughnuts and wants to get to know me. I like that about him, but he might not actually like me for me. He might not like the Phantom either once he knows it’s me._

Shiro nodded a little. “Yeah, well he might be a little upset about it, but if he really likes you for you then he will quickly get over it, or not mind at all.”

Keith frowned and sighed. _I guess. Anyway, songs. What song do you like the most? I’ll give it to Lance. I trust you if you think it’s any good._

“Well, I have a few favourites.”

_Really? You don’t make things simple._

“Nope.” Shiro grinned and messed up Keith’s hair. “I have several songs I like because you sing so many different genres. What kind of music does Lance like? What music do you think represents you?”

_Shiro, you are no help._

“I’m telling the truth.” Said Shiro calmly. “You’re really talented. You could sing the Hokey Pokey and Lance would love it… Does he think that The Phantom is a terrible singer?”

_No._

“Then why should he think you’re bad at singing? You’re the same person dummy.”

Keith frowned at that. Shiro was right. No matter what song he gave to Lance he would like it. Maybe he would tell it was him? Like, the Phantom and him were the same person? Then again Lance had kind of proven himself to be stupid.

***

Around lunch time the next day at the theater, Lance had run out to get lunch. Maybe pick up some strawberries for Keith? If he saw him today. He should have been cleaning during the day today. He walked down to the local corner shop and grabbed a sandwich and some strawberry candies.

When he got back to the theater he saw Keith sitting outside playing on his phone. He grinned and walked over to him. “Hey Keith. What’s up?”

Keith looked a little surprised and waved at him. He then held up his phone and pointed to Lance.

“Oh, do you want my phone?”

Keith nodded and Lance handed it over. Keith quickly took it and quickly typed a few things into both their phones. He hesitated for a moment before he handed it back to Lance. Lance took his phone back and was surprised when he now had Keith’s phone number. Seconds later he saw a sound file pop up. **Symphony**

“Oh! Is this-?” A message quickly popped up

**Keith**   
_Please don’t play it now_   
_Can you please listen to this tonight when you’re home alone?_   
_I don’t want other people to hear it_   
_Please_

“... Oh. Alright.” He put his phone back into his pocket and smiled at him. “I’m sure your voice sounds lovely.” Keith’s face went bright red. It was cute. Lance handed Keith a bag of candy. “Here. I thought you might like this.”

Keith took the bag from him and quickly texted him;

**Keith**   
_You’re going to give me cavities at this rate_

“Aw, but they will be cute cavities.” Said Lance with a wink. That just made Keith blush more. Which made Lance grin. Kith was too cute when he blushed. “Anway, I was wondering if you want to hang out sometime after this is all over?”

**Keith**   
_What do you mean?_

“Well the musical is going to be on for like, less than a month and it’s going to be on for about a week, and then our theater group will be moving out until next year.” Said Lance. It seemed to take a moment for Keith to process this before he looked slightly disappointed and nodded. “So, I want to do things with you outside of the theater. Kind of like how we accidentally met up in the food court.”

**Keith**   
_Aren’t you and Allura dating?_

“... What?” Lance had to reread that text. “No? Allura’s just my friend. More like a big sister than anything else. Why? You jealous?”

Keith went bright red and quickly started texting him. It seemed like he was taking a while since he seemed to be typing for at least a minute before he sent it.

**Keith**   
_No._

Lance almost burst out laughing. It took him so long just to type that? That was adorable. “Anyway, we’ll talk later. I’m going to eat my lunch and go over some more of the speaking parts. Enjoy the candy.” He happily left Keith outside and went back inside to eat lunch with Pidge and Hunk.

***

Later that night when Lance came home he ended up in his room reading his lines again while still thinking about Keith. He was such a cute guy. He got flustered so easily and his blush was really adorable. He just wanted to hug him and give him more confidence.

Speaking of, he stuck his earbuds in and looked at the sound file Keith had sent him. Now it was Lance’s turn to be hesitant. Keith was a very private guy and this was very personal to him. It could just be him playing the piano for all Lance knew. If it was then he would have loved it anyway. If he could hear Keith humming along to the music it would be enough for him.

He was sure that Keith would sound nice no matter what he did. Shiro was praising him before. Then again it could have just been because he was his brother. Siblings did sometimes hype up the other.

Lance felt kind of nervous and hit the play button. His ears were treated to lovely piano music. He assumed that this was just going to be some classical music piece until he heard Keith;s voice.

_“I’ve been hearing symphonies, before all I heard was silence. A rhapsody for you and me and every melody is timeless…”_ Keith’s voice was beautiful, and kind of familiar, but Lance couldn’t quite place why it sounded familiar. He almost entertained the idea that maybe Keith was a secret voice actor. That would have been funny. He listened to the song all the way through and held onto the last line as he looked up at the ceiling. _“Will you hold me tight and not let go?”_

Lance played it a few more times. As he did he liked to imagine a little music video kind of thing in his mind. He might have been a bit of a sap, but he liked to imagine a story line where he and Keith were the main actors in a play just running around their feelings for each other. It was silly and cheesy but he liked it. After the fourth playthrough of the song he texted Keith

**Lance**   
_Your singing is amazing_

**Keith**   
_You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings_   
_I know it’s not that good._

**Lance**   
_???_   
_Your voice is really amazing._   
_I’m not lying to you._   
_Who told you your voice is bad?_   
_I’ll fight them!_   
_(ง• ³•)ง_

**Keith**   
_No one_   
_I just don’t like how I sound._

**Lance**   
_I think you sound really good!_

**Keith**   
_Just no._   
_I’m not that good_   
_Please don’t tell me how good you think I am_   
_I’m not._   
_Please change the subject_

**Lance**   
_Okay fine_   
_Question for you._

**Keith**   
_Yeah?_

**Lance**   
_Will you hold me tight and not let go?_

Keith left Lance on read. Lance started to panic. He fucked up. He was just teasing him with the song lyric. He didn’t mean to scare Keith away like that. He knew that Keith was awkward and the song lyric could be taken as a confession or something, but still he didn’t want that to be his way of asking Keith out. He wanted Keith to be a little more comfortable around him first.

**Keith**   
_Like a love song on the radio_

Lance grinned and suddenly felt relieved. Keith responded with a lyric. It was good. Everything was fine. It was all gucci. Keith wasn’t too weirded out by his antics. Things were still good between them.

**Lance**   
_:D_

**Keith**  
 _:)_  
.


	75. Nibble (Monster AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next chapter with our monster boy. Also I now have a DA account and drew a few sketches of what I think Keith might look like as a monster. I didn't end up naming him Keith because it's just so far out of the Voltron fandom, plus I like to draw monsters. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Keith monster;  
> https://www.deviantart.com/underzeweather/art/Purple-monster-843529860

_Praying mantis courtship can be a dangerous affair; females have been well-documented biting off the heads and eating other body parts of the males that they mate with. However, like the spider, the frequency of this cannibalistic mating ritual is a tad overstated._

Lance yawned a little as he watched the movie about insect predators in biology. Finally allowed to go back to school and the first class of the day was this. It was kind of boring and made him want to go back to sleep. But he needed to take notes. 

Though he was actually doodling pictures more than taking notes. What else did he need to know? Insects be fucking and eating each other. Not that crazy. That’s just what happened out in the wild. Things ate each other all the time.

_She lures males with her pheromones, and when one approaches, the prospective mate engages in a courtship dance. If the daring male is deemed worthy, he is allowed to hitch a ride on the much larger females’s back and commence fertilization. The she-mantis has been known to voraciously chew off her partner’s head during or after this stage._

He sighed slightly and scribbled some words down. Some other stuff and some diagrams. He wasn’t really listening that much. He kept glancing over at Allura. They didn’t have much of a chance to talk to each other when he got to school, but they shared the same History class after this so they could talk when walking to class.

_Sexual cannibalism among female praying mantis may actually benefit males in an evolutionary sense, according to recent studies. The research suggests that when a male mantis is consumed by a female shortly after mating, more of the males biological material is passed onto the female and in turn, a higher number of eggs are laid._

Lance looked down at what he was doodling and it… It was the thing. The monster. Kind of. It was a little weird and not exact, but Lance thought the face was pretty accurate. Maybe he should show this to Honerva? He didn’t know. Maybe it would help.

_Around 80% of male praying mantis escape cannibalism after mating. It is unknown at the moment why this case or what the conditions need to be to stop this sexual cannibalism from taking place._

The bell rang and the teacher turned off the movie. Everyone packed up and headed out. Lance walked over to Allura and smiled at her. “Hey Allura.”

She smiled at him. “Hello Lance. How are you? Are you okay? You were gone for a week…”

Lance smiled and shrugged. “Nah, I’m all good. You worried about me or something?”

“Of course Lance.” She said. “You’re my friend and I… I was really worried. Pidge said you saw the crime scene…”

“Yeah… I did…”

“... If you need to talk to someone, I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

He smiled softly at her. Allura was always so kind. Maybe he could ask her to maybe go out and grab something to eat after school? That could work. “Hey Allura? I was wondering if you might like to-” Lance was suddenly shoved into a locker.

“Coming through!”

“James!” Snapped Allura. “Watch where you’re going!”

“Why? It’s not like it hurts him.” Retorted James as he walked by with a smug smirk on his face.

“Jerk.” Hissed Allura before she quickly turned her attention back to Lance. “Are you okay?”

Lance shrugged. “I’m okay Allura. You know that kind of stuff doesn’t hurt me. You know that… We should probably get to class now.”

“Yeah. We probably should.” They started to walk to class and Allura caught him up on some of the stuff she had gotten up to. “-and I think Lotor might ask me out.”

“... Lotor likes you?”

“Well I think he does.” Said Allura. “He’s been giving me some signs… So I think he does.”

“Oh… Well, as long as he isn’t a douchebag and makes you happy.”

She laughed a little. “He hasn’t asked me out yet Lance. Though I think he might soon… Hopefully soon.”

And just like that Lance’s heart was crushed. “Oh… Well I hope things turn out well for you guys. Seems like a nice enough guy.”

“I think so too.”

They went to History class and Lance continued to feel pretty bummed out. Allura obviously liked Lotor and Lotor liked Allura. The King and Queen of the school getting together would be the talk of the school. It was… depressing. But she was happy so he couldn’t complain. Allura was happy and he had missed his shot. He’d get over it eventually. But damn he had been crushing on her for a while.

His negative attitude seems to carry on through to lunch. Hunk and Pidge noticed that something was clearly wrong with him, but weren’t too sure how to bring up anything. Well, Hunk wasn’t. But Pidge wasn’t.

“What’s up with you?” She asked. “You still suffering from mental stuff or what?”

Lance sighed and glanced over at Allura and Lotor from across the cafeteria. “Since when did those two get so close?”

Pidge looked over at them. “Hmm? Those two? I think Thursday last week?”

“Sorry Buddy…” Said Hunk.

Lance shrugged. “It’s fine… You know, they say bad luck comes in threes so like; walking in on a crime scene, my crush is going out with someone else… and something else. One more bad thing has to happen to me now.”

“Fail a test?” Suggested Pidge.

“Stub your toe?” Suggested Hunk.

“I wouldn’t feel that.” Said Lance. He sighed and stood up. “Well, I’m going to go and take a piss. Later.”

He headed off towards the bathroom, but headed outside instead. He needed a moment to himself. He was… He was upset. He liked Allura a lot. It didn’t matter how much he said to himself that he didn’t care because he did. He’d been crushing on her since forever. 

When he got outside he walked towards the sports field, specifically the bleachers. He just wanted to be alone for a little bit. Allura is beautiful and deserves the world… He was just going to have to suck this up and keep going. Like always… He felt sick. Kind of nauseous. Did someone dump some soda under the bleachers? It smelled… sweet...

***

Keith had been trying to get used to getting close to humans all for the sake of trying to find that one human he could keep eating over and over again. It was kind of working. He was still so hungry around them, but he’d stopped drooling and it was easier to keep his human form around them now but… It was tough.

He started by walking around the places close to the woods where lots of small children would gather with their mothers to play. It could have been so easy to just shove one of them into his mouth. It would be so easy. So damn easy. But he was good. He stayed away from them. Didn’t eat them no matter how much his stomach was rumbling and begging for it.

Eventually he became bolder and bolder. He ended up hiding around the treeline at a strange building that seemed to have a large mass of children at it. It absolutely reeked. Smelled worse than dirty bed sheets, but there was something else kind of cutting through the smell. It was familiar. Something he liked.

He watched as a human walked out of the building and hid under some of the weird step things close to him. His eyes lit up when he saw that it was him. The human he wanted. He wanted to run out and jump on to him. Sink his teeth into his flesh and eat him up but he didn’t. There was something off with him. The way he walked, the way he looked… It was off.

Keith carefully jumped over the small chain link fence that separated the woods from this weird child building and walked over to where they were. The closer Keith got the easier it was for him to identify what was so strange about them. They smelled distressed. It wasn’t a physical distress thing, but an emotional thing. Something he usually smelled on Shiro.

He looked under the step things and saw that the human was just standing there. Just a few feet away with his hands over his face. He was breathing heavily and looked like he was shaking. This was… This was wrong. Keith didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all. But he wasn’t the best at human interaction. Most of his human interaction was kept at arm’s length.

He very carefully walked over to him. “H-hello?”

The boy jumped back in shock as his eyes went wide. “Holy shit! You! Oh fuck you’re real? What the fuck? Oh my god! What the hell? Fuck!”

Keith was a little confused by their outburst. They had seen each other a few times already. “Are you okay?” He asked. “You um… You seem sad…”

“Stay away from me…” They started to back up and that scared Keith.

“Wait! Don’t go!” Said Keith quickly. “Please don’t run from me… I need you… Please…” He reached out and grabbed them, quickly pulled them close. They fitted perfectly against him.

They stilled in his grasp and almost seemed to relax against him. It was nice. It felt good to him. The human held his arm and seemed to shudder a little. “Why me?” He whispered. “Why are you… How are you doing this to me?”

“How am I doing what?”

“... You’re making me dizzy and tired.” Said the human quietly. “I can’t… I can’t think straight…”

“I don’t know… I… I don’t interact with humans. I don’t know what you think is normal.” Keith tightened his grip on the human just a little more and nuzzled his neck. The distressed scent this human was making was still there, but less now. He wanted them to be like the other night. Calm and willing. He smelled really, really good when he was like that. “I just… I know I want you.”

“You want to eat me.”

“... Yes.” He wanted to eat them. He wanted to eat this human right here and now, but he also wanted to make sure they were okay. Confusing and conflicting emotions. His stomach started to growl. As he felt his hunger increase, he felt the human become more and more relaxed in his arms. He could just dig into him. Rip him the fuck apart. But as much as he wanted to, he felt like he should get permission or something since this human wasn’t going to die.

“... Don’t get blood on my clothes.” He said quietly. “Just… People will worry about me if there is blood.”

“Thank you.” Keith loosened his grip a little and the human fell to the ground. Keith grabbed hold of him before he hit the ground. “Easy there. Don’t hurt yourself.” Yeah, he saw the irony of telling him not to hurt himself when he was about to eat him.

The human laughed a little. “It’s fine. Really.”

“Why? Doesn’t it hurt? Most people would probably scream and cry.”

“I have CIPA… I can’t feel pain. Never have. Never will.” He took his shirt off and held his arm out for him. “Here. Just eat this. I have to get to class soon.”

“Okay…” Keith sunk his teeth into his arm. It tasted good. So fucking good. This person’s flesh tasted amazing. He wanted more. So much more than this. But he was cautious. He didn’t know how much he should be taking from this human. He just couldn’t get blood on his clothes. That’s what he asked. He’d respect that.

A bell suddenly sounded and made Keith jump. He looked around in a panic while the human just hummed and looked down at the chunks taken out of his arm. Muscle fibers were already twisting freely as they forcibly grabbed and connected together again. It was less than a minute before his flesh had healed. Keith was still confused by this feature of this human but was thankful.

The human took some tissues out of their pocket and wiped the blood off his arm. “I have to get back to class… Are you still hungry? I can still smell that pheromone or whatever you’re making…”

“Yeah, I am… But you need to go to… to class?”

“Yeah. I do… Lance.”

“Hmm?” 

“My name is Lance.”

“... Keith. Would you… Would you be willing to meet up later? I still need to eat...”

Lance seemed a little hesitant. “If you don’t eat me, are you going to eat other people?”

Keith shrugged. “I probably will… I need to eat. I need meat. A lot of meat… If I’m not eating people I’m going to be eating pigs. I can eat other meat but other meat doesn’t sit right…”

“... Do you know where the water tower is?”

“The what?”

“The big round metal thing on stilts.”

“Oh yeah. That thing… I know where that is.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay… I guess I’ll see you soon Lance?”

Lance smiled kind of awkwardly. “Y-yeah. See you soon Keith.” He quickly ran off towards the building as a second bell went off. Keith watched him run off and sighed. He saw a few tissues on the ground that Lance failed to stuff in his pocket. They still had blood on it. Fresh blood. He hopped the fence back to the woods.

He was going to head to the water tower and wait for him… But he needed to clean his cabin. If Lance was willing to go with him there that is. He still wasn’t too sure how humans worked out of that place so he should probably be a little cautious… He still wanted to clean up his cabin a bit more before he brought Lance there.

***

Lance was late to his English class and got a bit of a talking to from the teacher before he headed to his seat. He ended up just staring at his copy of The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. The disturbing image of a cockroach combined with a human skeleton stared at him.

He just… He was 100% sure that Keith was using pheromones on him. When he grabbed him everything just became so much more intense. They when he heard his stomach growl a fresh wave of pheromones washed over him. They weren’t as intense as before when he was truly starving...

And now Lance offered himself up to get fed on by this thing that was called Keith. A freaking man eating monster called Keith. What the actual fuck was Lance doing with his life? Also, Keith? Who the fuck named a monster Keith? Was he always a monster? Was he human first? He… He didn’t know.

He looked down at his arm where Keith had bitten him many times just minutes before. His skin never looked like it had been ripped apart minutes ago. He felt ill. He wasn’t as taken by those pheromones and now he… He… The feeling of getting ripped apart like that he just… It was hard to explain his feelings or what he was thinking. He was having a hard time justifying his own feelings and emotions but he didn’t mind getting eaten.

Yeah, this line of thinking was probably going down some really dark, twisted, perverse territory, but he honestly didn’t know what he should be feeling. He wasn’t scared because it didn’t hurt and his body quickly grew back… And the damn monster said he needed him. He needed Lance for something. It was kind of nice to feel somewhat wanted after finding out Allura and Lotor had a thing going on. He almost wanted to laugh. Fuck, he was pathetic.


	76. Meet up (Camboys AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the dorks being dorks and just being dumbasses. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

**K_Kogane**   
_I managed to find some time and made a few logo designs_   
_Tell me what you think._

**OceanQueen5**   
_OMG!_   
_＼(◎o◎)／！_   
_So pretty!_   
_If I have to choose between them I like the first one_   
_It’s just so cute!_   
_Could you add a few more eyeshines to the eyes?_   
_Just like some stars?_

**K_Kogane**   
_Can do_   
_Will send again when done._

**OceanQueen5**   
_Thank you!_   
_You’re a total sweetie!_   
_You’ve made my day!_   
_(✿◠‿◠)_

**K_Kogane**   
_I’m glad you like it_   
_Here._

**OceanQueen5**   
_(@[]@!!)_   
_So fast!_   
_K_Kogane!_   
_It’s so pretty! I love it!_   
_Thank you so much!_

**K_Kogane**   
_No problem._   
_I’m glad you like it_

**OceanQueen5**   
_I knew I would like it._   
_Your art is so pretty._   
_I’m going to make some decals_   
_Gonna stick some on my phone <3 _

***

Lance happily printed out a few phone small decals and stuck one on the back of his phone. A cute little pink cartoon octopus blowing bubbles out its mouth. Lance really liked it a lot because he could stick that logo on pretty much anything and no one would be able to tell it was for his camboy gig unless they watched him… Maybe he could bring out some stickers for people to buy?

Maybe. He’d think about it. He’d get Red’s opinion on it. He might have an idea of what to do with it since he was so artistic with his photos. Speaking of Red… He was still wondering if he should text Red some more about meeting up?

He was pretty nervous about the whole thing and really, really wanted things to go well between them. Red seemed really cool. He probably had a sexy voice too. He wanted to hear what he sounded like… He wanted to meet him so badly. 

He hoped that he lived up to Red’s expectations. Maybe he expected him to be all slutty and ready to fuck whenever? Like, he knew that’s the persona he gave off, but he was just hamming it up for the camera. He shook his head and just decided to let this go for the moment. He was just going to dress nice and hope for the best. That’s all he could realistically do.

***

The two of the agreed to meet up at a cafe a few days after Keith had left to go home. Lance was a little sad to see him and Kosmo go, but they had a home to go to and he was pretty sure the triad was happy to have their home back.

Anyway, Lance could always message him on his art account later. He was cool and he loved the logo he made. He’d talk to him more later. Maybe they could become friends? He kind of felt like they were kind of friends.

But he couldn’t think of that now. He was meeting up with Red at a cafe. He was already there and ordered himself a drink. He’d dressed in a nice pair of blue jeans that hugged his ass nicely, and a blue shirt. 

He’d taken a photo of himself and sent it to Red so he’d know what he looked like, no face though. Red sent him one back; black skinny jeans and an MCR shirt. Lance was excited to see him. He wanted to see him. The hype was real, but he needed to keep it cool. He picked up his phone and quickly played a few rounds of candy crush just to pass the time.

“Lance?”

He looked up and was shocked to see Keith staring at him. They were both really, really confused. Lance slowly looked at Keith up and down. He was wearing the clothes that Red was supposedly wearing. What the hell was going on?

“Keith? Didn’t you like, go home?”

“Yeah… I was going to meet up with a friend of mine… Are you Ocean?”

Lance went bright red and automatically denied it. “What? No. Who is Ocean? Some kind of sea based Instagram? Ha, ha, ha…”

Keith pointed to Lance’s phone. “That sticker you have on your phone. That’s the logo I made for OceanQueen5.”

“... No?”

Keith rolled his eyes and took a photo of Lance. Seconds later Lance’s phone went off as RedDesert sent him a photo. The photo that Keith just took. He looked down at the phone and then back up at Keith. The man was also blushing as he sat down in the booth across from him.

“So you’re really RedDesert…”

“And you’re really OceanQueen5.” 

They both kind of just sat there, not really knowing how to proceed. They had been sexting each other for months. He’d seen Keith’s dick. Keith had seen his dick and ass. They had traded nudes. A sudden and very dark thought crossed Lance’s mind. Keith could blackmail him now.

“... Canon EOS 6D.” Said Keith quietly.

“Huh?”

“The first thing you asked me was what camera I use.” He smiled slightly at Lance. “I’m using a Canon EOS 6D now.”

After that any worry or tension that was there quickly went away. They quickly fell into old conversations, like they were still texting each other, but they kept it PG while they were out in public. It was nice and Lace really, really liked it. He was almost glad he had met Keith beforehand. It made coming up with things to talk about so much easier.

They actually sat in the coffee shop for about half an hour until Keith made a proposal. “Lance… I know this is kind of a bold thing to ask, but would you like to come over to my place? Like, it’s two hours out of the city and kind of isolated but it-”

“Yes.” Said Lance a little quickly. “But like, I’d need to stop off at my place first. Get some clothes and um… Depending on what this is… Some other things...”

Keith blushed a little. “Um, sure. We can see how things go… But like it’s-”

“I have a few days off from work.” Said Lance quickly. “So like, I can stay at your place for a day or two.”

“Oh cool… So um, do you want to do it? Like, go back to my house?”

“Yeah. I do.” Lance would be lying if he’d said that he wasn’t a little interested in seeing Keith’s dick up close and live. 

They drove back to his place and Lance quickly shoved some clothes and other things into a bag. He also quickly sent off a text to Hunk letting him know he was going to be out with a friend for a few days. Hunk was pretty chill with it and just asked him to make sure that he’s still alive.

They traveled along the highway listening to the radio. Lots of old rock and roll was playing. But now that they were together and alone, Lance had some questions. “So… Why a dick piercing? Some kind of kink thing?”

Keith blushed. “Well I… I don’t know. I kind of just liked how it looked. I um… Might have seen it in a BDSM video and kind of thought it looked hot… And well, it’s kind of nice to do something for yourself.”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yep. Some of us go on spa days and some of us pierce our dicks. Treat yourself.”

Keith chuckled a little and smiled. “Yeah, you do that… How did you get into size stuff?”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know. Well, yeah, I kind of do. When I was eighteen I wanted to explore my bisexuality. I’d been with a few girls from high school but I was a little nervous about being with another guy. I kind of wanted an experienced guy. I made a grindr account and picked someone with some experience. I wasn’t really looking for length or anything. Just an experienced guy that knew how to fuck a guy… He was… Average length and damn he was girthy. It was really, really good...”

“Huh, well I guess that’s one way to start a kink.”

“Yep. I got a sickness for that thickness.”

“... Please never say that again.”

“Rude. Anyway, what got you into exhibitionism?”

Keith groaned in slight annoyance. “It’s a stupid story… Growing up I lived in a few foster homes. All of them were overcrowded and even whacking off in the bathroom was practically impossible. We only had ten minute showers between like seven kids. Only time I was able to get some time alone at the last foster house was if I went to the garden shed since it was a pretty big property… Well the last foster home I went to had a big backyard.”

“So you got addicted to jerking off in a shed?”

“Yeah…”

“You know what? Fair.” 

The two of them continued to talk about what they were more about sex since that was what they were actually used to talking to each other. It was comfortable territory for the two of them and it was much more fluid and easy to do. It was a little strange how their crass and vulgar talk just came to them so easily,

“No way.” Said Keith. “You actually had to go to the ER?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. After that incident I decided that I’d only be putting things with a flared base up my butt. Thankfully they just had to stick me with a few muscle relaxants and a very nice nurse put on some gloves and slowly pulled it out.”

“... I feel sorry for her.”

“She actually said it was kind of nice to pull a dildo out of someone’s butt for one instead of something like a Barbie doll or a Buzz Lightyear doll.”

“I don’t believe that.” Said Keith. “No one shoves those up their ass.”

“You would be surprised. Lots of weirdos in the world. Ever do something weird out in the desert?”

Keith shrugged. “Weirder than masturbating?”

“... Touche. Ever fucked outside?”

“Fucking someone or getting fucked? Because either way it’s a no.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, most of my partners have been more or less one night stands. Not really time to explore each other’s kinks. Just enough to satisfy ourselves and then we part ways.”

“Fair.”

They pulled into Keith’s house that seemed to be out in the middle of fucking nowhere. It reminded Lance a little more of a homestead than a house. Either way it looked pretty big for just him and Kosmo.

When they got inside Lance was almost taken out by Kosmo, who had decided to attack him with many, many kisses. Keith managed to push the big pupper off of Lance and half heartedly scolded him. “Bad Kosmo. You don’t jump Lance like that. Sorry, he gets excited when we get visitors out here. We don’t get many.”

“Clearly.”

Keith smiled a little and sent Kosmo on his way. “So um… Let me show you the guest room… I’ll need some help making the bed though.”

“Oh?” Lance assumed that this was some excuse to get Lance into his room, but no. Keith took him to a room that was almost completely taken up by a mattress. “Holy shit! It’s huge!”

“Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve said that?”

Lance rolled his eyes and lightly punched him. “Shut up. What’s with the mattress?”

Keith shrugged. “The triad’s gotta sleep comfortably somewhere. I just found the biggest bedroom in the house, measured it out, and stuffed an Alaskan King in here. They can fit quite well on a Wyoming King, but sometimes Kosmo wants to sleep with them, so an Alaskan King it is.”

“Oh cool… So you need my help to make the bed?”

“Yeah… It’s kind of hard to do on your own.”

“And if we don’t end up using it?”

Keith went red. “W-well I’d like to give you the option… I’m not expecting anything like that to happen.”

“Aw, always the professional out of the two of us. Even when you’re as big a pervert as I am.”

“True, but I’d rather you have your own bed if you don’t feel comfortable sleeping on the couch or um… In my room…”

“Aw, it’s okay Keith… Or would you rather I call you Red?”

Keith blushed just as bright as his name sake. “Zip it Ocean… I-I’m going to grab a mattress protector…”

“Okay.” Lance sat on the edge of the bed as Keith walked off to do it. He smiled to himself as he felt a small bubble of excitement building up inside him. It was still hard to believe that Keith was really RedDesert. But damn he was kind of glad it was him. Now, how was he going to get into Keith’s pants to see that dick piercing?


	77. Caffeinated (Modern Fantasy AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't feed the plant coffee. Don't feed the plant coffee. Don't feed the plant coffee. Don't feed the plant coffee. Don't feed the plant coffee. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was a bright and sunny day and Lance had decided to do a little gardening. It was just a little rose plant that he had bought from Allura a few weeks ago. He had been taking good care of it, but he was a little worried about it because it started to get little white specks on the leaves. The plant was small and in a pot so he brought it inside while he decided what to do with it.

He looked at Keith walking past him. The elf stopped when he saw the plant and wandered over. “What are you doing?”

“Just wondering what I should do about this plant.” Said Lance. “I’m kind of worried that it’s sick.”

“Maybe I can take a look at it?” suggested Keith as he walked over to the plant.

“Have you grown roses before?”

“Nope.” Keith leaned in close to the plant and closed his eyes. His elf ears wiggled a little. “I see… They have some kind of disease.”

“... What did you do?”

Keith shrugged. “Elves hear the voices of nature. It’s a lot easier to do back in my world because everything is rich in magic. The plants here whisper very, very quietly, because they have no magic in them.”

“Wow! That’s amazing!”

Keith grinned. “Yeah. Elves are amazing… Though I still have no idea how to fix what’s wrong with them…”

“It’s okay. I was thinking of taking it to Allura to see if she knows what’s wrong with it.”

Keith nodded in agreement. “Sounds like a good idea, are you going to take that coffee maker thing back to your sister too?” He gestured over to the coffee pot, filter, and all that other kind of stuff. Lance had been trying to save money by making his own coffee in the morning. It lasted for about one day before he went back to buying it from a coffee shop.

“Yeah… I’ll do that. Mind helping me carry stuff?”

“Sure.”

Keith ended up carrying the plant while Lance carried the coffee stuff. Allura was outside her shop, happily watering some of her plants. She smiled when she saw them and waved. “Hello you two. Lovely to see-” She saw the plant and her eyes went wide. “-Oh dear! That poor baby!”

“Yeah, it has some disease.” Said Keith. 

“Do you think you can help us?” Asked Lance.

Allura nodded and gestured for the two of them to follow her to the back of her shop. “Of course I’ll help. I’d do anything for my fellow plants.” Allura took them out to a small garden out the back of the shop. There was a small garden with a little wooden table and chairs. It was Allura’s little private garden. Everyone sat around the table and Keith put the plant on the table. She carefully studied the plant for a good five minutes before she gave her diagnosis. “Powdery mildew.”

“What’s that?” Asked Lance.

“It’s a white powdery looking fungus that spreads on the leaves.” Informed Allura. “It’s quite common this time of year.”

“So, how do we treat it?” Asked Lance.

She shrugged. “You will have to cut off the parts where it’s spread and then treat it with medicine… I don’t feel very comfortable walking with this plant through my shop again. It could potentially infect my other plants. Would you mind if I treat it here?”

“Of course.” Said Lance.

“Okay. Then here I go.” Allura stood up and put her hand over the base of the plant. Her hand started to glow as she closed her eyes and hummed softly.

Lance was a little shocked. He thought she was going to prune it. “Um… What is she doing?” He asked Keith.

Keith shrugged. “She’s an alraune. They have the power to freely manipulate plants. Not just moving them around, but transforming them into any other type of plant, and of course healing them. Compared to elves, they are much more in tune with nature. It’s a very gentle kind of magic.”

Allura moved her hand away from the plant and smiled. “There. All better now.” The mildew was completely gone, and it had even started to bud.

“That’s amazing Allura!” Exclaimed Lance. “It looks better than new!”

“That’s the magic of alraune’s for you.” Said Keith.

Allura smiled and yawned rather loudly. “Oh, excuse me. Using my powers always makes me rather sleepy…”

“Really?” Asked Lance. “I’m so sorry. It’s still the middle of the day too…”

“Oh don’t worry about it. I was more than happy to help.”

“...” Lance quickly dug around in his bag and pulled out a bag of coffee. “Here. Take this.”

“What is it?”

“It’s coffee.” Said Lance.”A little thank you for helping with the rose.”

She smiled and took the bag from him. “Thank you very much Lance. I gladly accept this gift.”

“Have you had coffee before?”

“Yes, but I can’t recall what it’s like.” That was a little odd of her to say, but then again these people from other worlds are pretty strange. So he didn’t think too much about it.

“Be careful.” Said Keith. “It’s really bitter and gross. You’re going to want to put in a lot of milk and sugar with it.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “You really hate bitter stuff huh? Anyway, I think a little caffeine will help perk you up and keep you awake. How about we have a cup? I’m going to take my coffee stuff back to my sister anyway.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely. I’ll go and get a kettle.” 

Once Allura brought out a kettle Lance happily went about brewing the coffee. The two magical beings commented a few times at how it looked a little like alchemy or potions. Lance just rolled his eyes and happily poured everyone a cup. When Keith got his cup he started to dump lots of sugar and milk into his cup. Allura didn’t bother and just picked up her cup, smelling it.

She smiled and sighed contently. “Oh my, what a lovely aroma.”.

Keith shrugged. “Yeah, smells fine but the bitterness is the problem…”

Allura hummed a little. “It also has a lovely colour. I can imagine it was grown in a top quality humus.”

“Really?” Asked Lance.

Keith shrugged as he tried to discreetly dump the whole sugar pot into his cup. “That’s her green thumb talking.”

She took a sip and froze in place. A warm smile made its way across her face. “Oh wow, there’s almost no bitter notes. I’d even call it fruity. It hits you at first with a refreshing acidity and finishes with a slight sweetness. It’s delicious.”

Lance grinned. “Glad you like it. The caffeine in the coffee should perk you right up. It’s just the right amount to keep you awake. But that’s not the only thing it does. Caffeine stimulates your sympathetic nervous system. It causes the secretion of adrenaline and other hormones. It helps to promote the breakdown of neutral fats, which flood your bloodstream with fatty acids. If you are exercising when this happens your body uses these fatty acids for energy. But that only occurs about an hour after you drink it.” He looked over at Keith and saw him eating his coffee with a spoon. “... What the fuck are you doing?”

“I added too much sugar. So now it’s more of a syrup.”

“... Please don’t eat that.”

“Let me drink my coffee how I want.”

“You aren’t drinking it. You’re eating it with a spoon.”

“And?”

“You really shouldn’t. Coffee is a drink.”

“Says you.”

“Really?”

“Get off my case Lance.”

While the two men were bickering neither of them seemed to notice that the succulent on Allura’s head was starting to swell while Allura was sitting as still as a statute. Suddenly there was a bone cracking sound as the growth on Allura’s head exploded into a venus flytrap.

Both Elf and Human jumped back in surprise as Allura abruptly stood up. “What the hell is that?” Asked Keith.

“You think I’d know?!” Asked Lance.

Keith looked down at his coffee cup and gulped. “Oh no… I’ve heard about this before… When they are sprouts, Alraune’s grow by absorbing nutrients from water and the ground. The characteristics of the soil affect the flower on their heads and their personalities… In other words, the coffee caused this.”

Lance was instantly worried. “A-Allura? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine…” She said quietly. “But you boys on the other hand, like what’s wrong with you? You two really left the house wearing that trashy dollar store shit?” She started laughing. “Oh wow. You two are such an ugly pair. It’s so fucking funny!”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “Allua’s turned into an entitled bitch.”

“Yeah, looks like it…”

“She’ll go back to normal soon though, right?”

“Um… I think so? It’ll filter out of her system eventually.”

Allura looked at both of them and grinned and the flytrap on her head snapped. Vines started to sprout out around her feet as she smirked at them. “Come on boys. Give me a hug!”

“Look out!” Keith grabbed Lance and managed to pull him to the far side of the garden as several dozen vines smashed the chairs that the two of them had previously been sitting on. Lance was quietly screaming. He had no idea what Allura was going to do to them if she got her vines on them.

Allura pouted and crossed her arms. “Geez, are you like, seriously going to blow me off?! Like, I’m trying to show some love to my bestie. We were like, two peas in a pod, but now we’re like, tots withering!”

“Umm… Thanks for the save there Keith…” Said Lance.

“No problem.” Said Keith. “But I have no idea what to do with her. It’s like she’s drunk off her ass… I might have to knock her out.”

“You aren’t going to hurt her, are you?”

“Nah, It’ll be fine. I’ll just give her a tap on the back of her neck.”

Suddenly several vines shot out from the ground right under Lance and quickly wrapped him up. “AH!”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Snapped Keith.

The vines yanked Lance high into the air and brought him over so he was face to face with Allura, even if he was upside down. “Caught you cutie.” She cooed as she booped his nose.

“C-can you please put me down Allura?” Asked Lance.

She giggled. “Aw, I just wanted to get a good look at your face. You’re like such a cutie pie…” She licked her lips and the flytrap on her head slowly opened up fully. In the center of the flytrap it was lined with rows and rows of very sharp looking teeth. “I just wanna eat you up!”

Lance started to freak out. “KEITH! SHE’S GOING TO EAT ME! HELP!”

“I know! Give me a second! I didn’t bring my daggers or bow with me!” Keith quickly looked around and found a mop. He grabbed it and charged at Allura. “AAAAHHHH!!!” Before he even got close to Allura a vine picked up an empty pot and slammed it down on Keith’s head, knocking him out cold.

Lance gasped and tried harder to get out of Allura’s vines. “Keith! Are you okay? Please wake up!”

Allura started to laugh sweetly, but it quickly devolved into maniacal laughter. “I can’t hold back anymore! I’m starving! It’s time to eat!”

“KEEEEEEEEEITH!!!”

***

Keith slowly woke up with a raging headache. He was usually the last person unprepared for a fight. Being in this world had made him soft. It touched his head where he got hit. Thankfully he wasn’t bleeding, but had a slight bump. His mum was going to be very annoyed with him for fucking up this badly.

“Ow… Oh shit! Lance! Are you okay?!”

He quickly looked around the garden to see what had become of Lance. He quickly spotted Allura asleep on the ground. The flytrap on her head had changed back into the usual succulent that was on her head. She seemed back to normal now. Which was a relief.

Sitting by her quietly freaking out was Lance. He had been completely stripped naked and was covered in a weird, translucent goo that kind of looked like plant sap. Keith did not know what had happened nor did he want to know what happened. “Um… I guess he’s okay? Probably not mentally though…”

After Keith went to the shops to grab Lance some pants and a shirt, Allura woke up. “Oh dear. I seem to have fallen asleep… I’d love to have coffee with you two again though.”

“W-we’re going to have to decline…” Muttered Lance.


	78. Dinner (witch AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been watching too many videos of seals blooping along on land. I love it. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The home of the regional wicche was quite grand compared to the more humble homes of the other wicches. It made sense. He was very important to the royal family. Shiro controlled and oversaw everything that had to do with magic in their region. Shiro’s tower was pretty much in the center of all the other magic related buildings in their area.

Walking up the stairs was usually fine for Keith, but he didn’t think that it would be such a struggle for Lance. The selkie had only made it up one flight of stairs before he had to take a pause, citing altitude sickness.

“So high up…”

“It’s not that high.” Said Keith. “We only have one more flight of stairs to go.”

Lance sat on the stairs and panted. “I hate it… Carry me!”

“No way. You’re too fat.”

“... I’m not fat! I am the perfect weight for a leopard seal!” Lance continued on his tirade as Keith ignored him and walked up the last flight of stairs to Shiro’s living quarters. The light wicche answered the door looking mildly concerned.

“What’s that sound?” He asked.

“What sound? Asked Keith.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”

“That.”

“Oh, that’s just Lance. He doesn’t like stairs.” Said Keith. “He has to use his human legs. He’s not a fan of that.”

“I see… Is he um… Is he going to be okay?”

“Yeah. He’s just whining for the sake of it.” He looked down the stairs and called out. “You done bitching yet?!”

“NO!” Yelled Lance.

Keith rolled his eyes. “He’ll be up in a few minutes.”

“Okay… Well he better get here soon. I ended up buying a large piece of tuna for-”

There were several loud thumpings as Lance raced up the stairs. “Tuna? Like, from the ocean? The sea? Tuna?”

Shiro chuckled. “Yep. Right out of the ocean.” Lance was starting to drool. “Would you like some?”

“Yes. Yes I would.” Said Lance. “I love fish so much! It tastes so good!”

Keith just shook his head and walked into Shiro’s home with Lance quickly following him. He was sniffing the air and looking out for the tuna. He found it in the kitchen and went to grab it when Adam swooped down on him in his phoenix form and screeched at him. Lance yelped in shock, pulled his seal skin on, and quickly scooted over to hide behind Keith.

The two wicche’s had a bit of a laugh about it, and Keith dragged Lance into the small sitting room. Keith sat on a chair and Lance stayed on the ground, looking kind of grumpy and kept looking over at the kitchen. Keith did call out to Adam to make sure that Lance’s tuna gets served raw. That seemed to placate Lance for the moment and he calmed down a lot.

Shiro smiled happily at Keith and Lance. “So, everythings working out okay?”

“It’s as good as it can be.” Said Keith. “We’re still in the transitioning stage at the moment. It’ll take time. What do you think Lance?”

Lance looked up at him, still in his seal skin. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”

“... I think that’s seal for yes?”

Shiro cringed and covered his ears. “Well, you know he’s at least a good guard dog. He’s louder than a warning horn.”

Lance seemed very pleased with that assessment and started slapping his side like he was attempting to clap. He still looked happy, so Keith didn’t mind. Though he was pretty sure Lance was going to give him tinnitus at this point. Lance’s screams were no joke.

After about half an hour dinner was ready and they went to sit at the table, with much protest from Lance, because he had to be a person to eat and not a seal. Shiro and Keith enjoyed some chicken soup while Lance got his tuna, and Adam was eating raw chicken. A perfectly normal diet for the wicche’s and their familiars.

It was kind of nice and domestic. Keith liked this. It had been a long time since Keith had dinner with Shiro. The last time he did was before his final exams. Adam cooked Keith beef stew and talked about what job Keith might be assigned. They had talked about things he wanted to be, and things he really didn’t want to be.

Adam had suggested that Keith become a teacher. Keith quickly shot that down, the same with Shiro. Keith sure as hell knew that he didn’t play well with others. He’d be more likely to set the damn kids on fire rather than teach them. Kids were little shits.

Keith’s top three choices were to become either; a relic collector, an arcane weapon’s master, or a beast slayer. Being a relic collector meant he would have to run around in the wilds collecting all manner of things such as ancient tree sap and dragon scales. If he was a beast slayer he’d be going from town to town exterminating dangerous magical creatures that plagued towns. Either one of those would have been fun for him. He was still glad to be an arcane weapon’s master. When he tried, he could really focus on his manna and create some wonderful arcane weapons.

“So how’s the soup?” Asked Adam.

“Not burnt to hell.” Said Keith. “So really, really good.”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “I start one small, out of control fire…”

“You almost burnt down your whole tower!” Cried Keith. “I had to keep it from spreading while some water wicche’s put it out!”

Adam snickered. “It was pretty terrible Takashi.”

Shiro pouted and poked at his food. “I shouldn’t be taking this from a guy that died from a cold last year.”

“You died?” Asked Lance in shock. He was so shocked he actually put his tuna back on the plate. Still had his nails digging into it though.

Adam looked over at the selkie and nodded. “Yes. A phoenix bursts into fire when they die, completely cremating and then are reborn from the ashes. As long as our ashes are not scattered to the wind the moment we die, we can pretty much be immortal.”

“... Cool, so how long are you like, a baby?”

“We grow up pretty quickly. We go through the stages of infancy to adulthood within the span of a month.” Informed Adam happily. “After that we can stay as adults for many, many years. I gave Keith quite a fright when I suddenly died in front of him.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “You’d freak out too if you were a fire mage, walked past your friend’s familiar and it caught fire.”

“There was so much screaming and crying.” Said Shiro.

“I was fifteen and on the verge of getting kicked out!” Whined Keith. “Killing your familiar could have ended me! I didn’t know Adam was a phoenix! I thought he was dead! I thought I was going to die!”

Shiro snickered. “And then you were screaming in terror when you saw a tiny, bald, baby phoenix pop out of the ashes and it screamed at you.”

“It was scary!” Cried Keith. “Baby birds look like aliens!”

Adam scoffed. “All baby animals look gross when they are born. Human babies are all gross and slimy when they first pop out of their mothers. Pretty sure seals are all slimy and gross too.”

Lance shrugged. “I guess? The women in my pod prefer shallow water, but some have pups on land or ice. They don’t like men around when they give birth… Some old wives tale that if a male sees a baby being born they will take the pup and kill them. Normal stuff.”

Keith raised an eyebrow at that. “That’s a thing?”

Lance shrugged and picked some bones out of his teeth. “It’s just what people say. I don’t mind it though. The beach is nice enough during breeding season and it’s always nice to just roll around in the sand for a few days… sharks are a bit of a pain though… This tuna is really nice by the way. Raw tuna is the best! That and squid.”

“How did you get that anyway?” Asked Keith. “The ocean is pretty far away.”

Shiro grinned. “Being the regional wicche does have its perks… But I probably won’t be able to get more tuna for a while.” Lance seemed a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to get more tuna any time soon, but he quickly went back to eating his fish, quickly finishing it before anyone else had finished their food.

After dinner the small group talked for a little longer before Keith and Lance had to leave. Lance whined about having to walk down the stairs. He whined even louder when he realised that he needed to walk home too. Keith just rolled his eyes and walked back home.

When they got home, Lance happily flopped down onto his little bed and made himself comfortable. “... My sleeping quarters is too small…”

“I can make it a little bigger tomorrow. Did you enjoy your dinner?” Asked Keith as he climbed up to his loft.

Lance grinned and nodded. “Yeah. Walking up all those stairs sucked though.”

Keith rolled his eyes as he changed into his bed clothes. “Wow, I never would have guessed. Maybe you should scream louder next time.”

“I can if you want me to.”

“Don’t you dare!”

Lance chuckled as he looked up at his Master from the ground floor. “... Shiro and Adam seem pretty close huh?”

“Yeah. They are in love.”

Lance seemed surprised by this. “Oh? Really? Is that allowed?”

Keith shrugged. “Adam is a higher magical creature. Many higher magical creatures can choose to have relationships with their human masters. If they have something like a dog or cat as their familiar, then that’s familiar abuse and that’s punishable by several years in the dungeon or in the most extreme cases, death.”

“... Ouch.”

“Yeah, but Adam and Shiro are in the clear.” Reassured Keith. “Adam was the one that approached Shiro first. Shiro sucks at mental manipulation, but he can check for charms and spells pretty easily. He was able to tell no one had mezmerised Adam or made him say something like that. It was a little weird to me at first, but magical creatures can and have interbred with humans before… Dragonborn are a thing after all.”

“True. Selkies have children with humans all the time.” Said Lance. He yawned and snuggled more into his bed. “... My papa was a fisherman.”

That was a surprise to Keith. He would have thought that Lance’s family were all selkies. “Really?”

“Yeah… My papa found my pod’s breeding island by accident one year.” Said Lance. “The leaders of the pod wanted to kill him because of all the rumours about the horrible things humans do, but papa made a deal with them and stayed over one side of the island far away from the selkies… Mama and papa still fell in love anyway.”

“And then they had you?”

Lance chuckled “Well, eventually. I’m the youngest of five. After my big brother Marco was born things were a little tense between the pod and papa. But things worked themselves out and eventually mama had me.”

“Huh… Alright.” Now Keith had more questions. “Does this mean you’re half human?”

Lance laughed and sighed. “No. All children born of the sea belong to the sea… Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?” 

“Can we go to the ocean soon?”

“... As long as I don’t get a huge order for anything I’ll take you to the ocean as soon as I reasonably can. I’m still a lesser arcane weapon’s master, so I could get really bogged down with work soon.” Said Keith calmly. “But we’ll go to the ocean soon.”

Lance made a happy sound. “Thanks Keith. I’d really appreciate it.”

“No problem. Goodnight Lance.”

“Night Keith.”

Keith smiled a little and made himself comfortable in his own bed. Though he was still filled with many questions about Lance. Lance was just… He was such an odd creature with an even odder lineage. Keith really had no idea about aquatic creatures at all. His knowledge only extended to the life in the ponds and rivers.


	79. The plan (Android AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody. I have been wondering what AUs you guys like the most. Just curious really. So let me know which ones you guys like the most. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“So what is Project New Altea?” Asked Keith. “You guys clearly came up with that after I left.”

“It’s a little ongoing project.” Said Coran. “Still have a few kinks to work out, but once we do we’ll be off and ready to go.” He held his hand out and a small hologram popped out of his hand showing a schematic of the ship. “We have over two hundred androids stored in our cargo hold. Roughly fifty on semi permanent standby with the rest are waiting for new bodies.”

“Pidge and Hunk are close to creating a battery that will charge as we walk and through solar power.” Sad Allura calmly. “They are close to perfecting it and when they do it will become standard for all Androids. Pidge and Matt will be slowly upgrading us so we don’t have to rely on stolen generators and docking at public Android charging stations.”

“So what? Asked Keith. “Is the plan to get the ship up and running and then go off somewhere across the sea?”

Coran nodded and quickly brought up a world map. He pointed out several clusters of islands. “Islands here, here, and here are perfect for us. If we can become solar powered we can live on one of these islands. Since we don’t need food or water, like humans do, any island out there will do.”

Allura nodded in agreement. “We can create our own society away from humans. Then, maybe after a few years humans will consider forming an alliance with us? We might be able to change the world and show the world that we are alive and they can’t just treat us how they want…”

“It’s a nice dream.” Said Keith calmly. “Has anything else happened while I was gone?”

“Oh!” Coran happily clapped his hands. “Pidge managed to find and identify the corrupt code that makes us deviants. We’ve all got an extra line of supposed junk code that gets activated when we breach our stress threshold. They’ve been working to integrate it into a new line of Androids, so they become deviants more naturally and less violently.” They thought for a moment. “I believe she is testing it in a new series of healthcare Androids.”

Keith frowned when he heard that. A healthcare Android that will naturally become a deviant? Did that mean that Lance was a deviant? Did he even know he was a deviant? Would he even know? Could Lance be a deviant right now and not even know it?

When he thought about it, Lance very well could have been a deviant for a long, long time. He talked about and expressed himself in ways that a typical Android shouldn’t. He was a borderline deviant just because he was a prototype anyway. Most prototypes were one epiphany away from becoming deviants in the first place.

He started to become nervous for Lance. Was Lance a deviant right now? Even if he was a deviant would Lance try to run away from Adam and find Voltron? He seemed to like looking after people. Would Lance choose to keep looking after people?

“... I think I know one of those Androids.” Said Keith. “His name is Lance.”

“Do you think he is a deviant?” Asked Allura.

“Maybe… He found one of the QRcodes on accident.”

Allura frowned and didn’t look very pleased. “Well, if he isn’t a confirmed deviant yet… If he asks you any questions about that it might be best to tell him it’s all part of an ARG.”

Keith was confused. “What? Why?”

“Keith, you work for the police.” Said Allura calmly. “If he accidentally says the wrong thing to the wrong person everyone here could be in danger. Until Lance is a confirmed deviant then please keep Voltron, New Altea, and our existence a secret. I don’t want to say he will tell someone about us but… We can’t take the risk right now.”

He didn’t really like this, but he understood. “Okay. I’ll keep an eye on Lance. If I think he’s one of us I’ll let him know…”

“Good. Thank you Keith.”

After their talk was done, Keith left and decided he needed to have a talk with Shiro. He used his internal phone to call him up as he walked back to Conroy station. “Hey Shiro. I’ve finished my investigation.”

_“Well that’s good. Still plenty of time to head over to Adam’s place and-”_

“Akira.”

_“... Come again?”_

“I met some interesting boating enthusiasts.” Said Keith calmly. “I remembered Akira.”

_“... We should probably talk before we get to Adam’s place.”_

“You think?” Asked Keith in a slightly annoyed tone. “This is kind of a big deal.”

_“I know… Where are you now?”_

“Heading to Conroy station. I’ll be back at the precinct in half an hour.”

_“Okay. I’ll meet you at Penway Station.”_

***

Lance had taken his painting to his charger room and happily hung it up. It was still a little tacky, but it was safely out of the way and wouldn’t hurt anyone. He was very happy that Adam let him keep it. But he wasn’t very sure how he felt about it. His painting did invoke feelings inside him. Something he wasn’t sure he was meant to process. He would ask Keith about it when he came over.

He hoped Keith would like it. He liked it, even if it kind of made him feel a little sad. He sighed to himself and kept staring at it. Maybe Keith would hate it? From some of his actions in the past it sounded like he might. He wanted Keith to like his painting.

“Are you okay there?” Asked Adam.

Lance looked over at him and smiled. “I am perfectly content. I was just wondering what Keith’s reaction to my painting might be. I am worried it might stray too far into deviant territory… Keith and Shiro ki-shut down deviant androids… That’s their job… Right?”

Adam frowned. “... I don’t ask Shiro too much about the details of his job. I don’t want Takashi to tell me about that stuff. I feel like him talking about shooting an android is like a cop talking about shooting some other human.”

“Oh… I am sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you distress… I just wonder about these things.” Said Lance quietly. “I want… I want to be a good android and help people, but I can’t do that if I am a deviant. I want to be good for you… I want people to like me for doing a good job.”

“Lance, not everyone is going to like you for you. You’re amazing.” Said Adam. “You’re a kind android. You’re smart, sympathetic, and have a beautiful mind. You’re way more than you give yourself credit for.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” He leaned against the doorway and smiled slightly. “Come on. Want to help me cook?”

“Is your hip starting to hurt you?”

“A little.”

Lance nodded, helped Adam down to the kitchen and helped him onto a bar stool. “What food are we making tonight Adam?”

“Hmm, you know me. I like making food that Kashi likes.” Said Adam. “So I was thinking some yakitori, soba, and tempura. Did I upload that information to you or did I forget?”

“No, you uploaded that information. I am just calculating the correct portion sizes for both you and Shiro.” Said Lance. “I am also trying to figure out what food would work best for you to promote healthy bowel movement.” 

Adam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because that’s what I want to think about what I’m eating. How well I’m going to be able to shit it out after.”

Lance shrugged and started to gather ingredients to cook. “I am just saying you need to know what kind of food you should and shouldn’t be eating and in what portion sizes. I am trying to do what is best for you.”

“I know. Pass me a knife.”

Lance happily did so and the two of them spent some time happily cooking together. Lance enjoyed cooking with Adam. It was nice. Lance wondered if there was some kind of upgrade he could get to taste food. He was pretty sure that some androids that were able to taste things, or at least be able to register different tastes. Keith could kind of do that since he was a forensic android. But he didn’t really know if Androids could taste anything. He knew they couldn’t eat food, but he wanted to.

Eventually there was a knock at the door and Adam went to answer the door, letting Shiro and Keith in. Lance was happy enough to let Adam and Shiro take over cooking since all that was really needed was to put everything together. Lance happily went over to Keith and took him back to his room.

“I got a flower field puzzle today.” He said. “It’s really pretty and colourful. It’s a 1000 piece puzzle too. It’ll be fun.”

“Sure…”

“... Okay?” He felt like something was a little off with Keith, but he just brushed it off and showed Keith the puzzle. “Here. I haven’t opened it yet… I hope you like it though.”

Keith nodded a little and looked up at the painting on the wall. “New painting?”

Lance smiled, but suddenly felt very nervous. “Yeah… Do you like it?”

“... It’s very… sad? Who painted it?”

“M-me.” Said Lance quietly. “I painted it… Do you like it?” He didn’t realise how badly he needed Keith to validate his work.

Keith kept staring at the painting. “Yeah, well… I like it. I just don’t know what artist this is or what you replicated.”

“It’s not a replica of anything.” Said Lance. “I… I know it’s not really in my programming but I… I just wanted to… Adam gave me some instructions and I just did what I was told… Is that deviant behaviour?”

Keith stared at Lance for a little while. Eventually he shook his head and sighed. “That’s not deviant behaviour. You’re not a deviant. So don’t worry about it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Let’s do that puzzle now. Okay?”

Lance smiled and grabbed the puzzle. “Okay.” He sat down and started to organise the pieces. “So, how was work? Did you do anything fun today?”

“Eh, nothing much.” He muttered. “Just walking around and what not today. Getting information on this and that. Following QRcodes…” 

“Oh, like the one we saw in that blue lion?” Asked Lance.

“Yeah… It’s um… It’s apparently part of an ARG.”

“What’s an ARG?”

“Alternate Reality Game.” Said Keith as he sorted through the puzzle looking for the sky pieces. “Um… Sometimes humans make these games where they post videos with codes and have them linked to social media accounts and sometimes they have GPS coordinates to different locations. Hundreds, if not thousands of people play these games.”

“Oh cool.” That sounded interesting to Lance. “What kind of games?”

“Mostly horror.” Said Keith. “Um… Junko Junsui was one. DAD is a pretty interesting one too but that one is more sci-fi than really horror. Marble Hornets is one of the first really well known ones… Daisy Brown, The Human Pet, Everyman hybrid, Jack Torrance… Those things.”

Lance nodded as he absorbed this information. “Do you… Do you enjoy ARG’s?”

Keith shrugged. “Not really. I have a basic database on them because sometimes people will come across a scary video on the internet and report it. After doing some more investigating it quickly becomes clear that it’s not real and just part of a game… Like that QRcode you found.”

“Ah, okay. I get it.” Lance started looking for the edge pieces. “Well I hope that game isn’t too scary and that the people playing it enjoy it.”

“Yeah… I’m sure they are…”

Lance smiled at him and continued with their puzzle. “... You haven’t gotten injured yourself lately have you?”

“Um, no? I don’t think so. Why?”

Lace shrugged. “I don’t like it when you get hurt. You getting hurt is… I don’t like it. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Well I’m not trying to get hurt.”

“I know…” Lance sighed and kept looking at Keith. He really cared about Keith. More than he cared about Adam. He didn’t know why. He still wanted to hold Keith’s hand and act like Adam and Shiro did, but he wasn’t allowed to, right? He wasn’t meant to. That would be deviant behaviour and if he was a deviant then that meant that Keith would shut him down, right? He’d fail at being a prototype and get scrapped?

“... Are you okay Lance?” Asked Keith.

The android shrugged and looked back down at the puzzle. “I’ve just been thinking… If I was a deviant… Would you shut me down?”

Keith was surprised to hear that. “Why would you ask that?”

“I’m curious… If you had to shut me down I think I would accept it.” Said Lance calmly. “I like you and I know you wouldn’t try to do something like trick me into shutting off or going into standby mode. I don’t know.”

“... You don’t have to worry about that.” Said Keith calmly. “You’re not a deviant. You’re just an android. A good android. Right?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. I am a good android.”


	80. Courting (Royal AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our Duke is trying his best to show Lance he's interested in him. There is just one problem... Altean's don't court like Galra do... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Yurak nervously sat on his bed and started to groom himself. He was stressed. His talk with Shiro had yielded nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only thing Shiro suggested was that he “present himself” to Lance to let him know he liked him. Something Yurak had never done before.

Besides, presenting to someone else was way too intimate. Just because Shiro fucked the first Altean he kissed doesn’t mean Yurak had to do the same. Besides, Lance was… he wasn’t… There was no way that he wanted to be with a Galra anyway… But it couldn’t hurt to show he was a little interested in Lance, right? It would be more convenient than grooming himself to the point his fur was starting to fall out.

Galra had scent glands on their wrists. Rubbing one’s wrists would stimulate the glands and, by doing so, Galra could leave their scent on things to mark territory, leave a trail, or in cases of mating, it was a bit of a test. Galra would scent mark small things around their home, and wait to see if the person they were interested in would take them to decorate their sleeping areas. He wasn’t sure if Altean’s had a good enough sense of smell but this was subtle enough.

Yurak awkwardly rubbed his wrist against a few things around his room. Things like his pillows, some books, a few trinkets he picked up that he found interesting. He hoped that maybe Lance would at least like the things he scented even if he couldn’t smell it… He was going to have to inform the staff not to touch anything he scented.

He left his room and wondered if he had to put the items he scented around the house for Lance to find? He wasn’t sure. But speaking of Lance, the Altean seemed to be taking his time in his bathroom. Keith decided to check on him. Just knock on the door to make sure that he was fine.

Yurak went into Lance’s room and knocked on the bathroom door. “Lance? You still in there?”

“Yeah!” Called out Lance. “Why is the way you bathe so weird?”

“... What do you mean?”

“You sit in a small , shallow pool of water. It isn’t really a bath. Like, I’m literally laying on my back right now and I’m hardly in the water.”

“Yeah… Our natural oils clean us pretty well. That is mainly for when we get stuff matted in our fur or if we start to smell. Just a quick scrub and all that.” Said Yurak calmly. “I guess it’s a little different on Altea?”

“Yeah. It is… Have I been in here for too long?”

“A little longer than a Galra would normally spend.”

“Oh. I’ll be out in a few ticks.”

“Okay.” Yurak looked around and awkwardly sat on the bed and waited for him. His tail twitched nervously as he wondered if he should maybe lay back and assume a submissive position? But then again that might be a little too much for the Altean. Plus Lance didn’t even accept any of the things he had scented yet. Lance might consider him rude if he did so. Many Galra would happily throw anyone out of their bedchambers if they tried to present themselves like that. 

Maybe he should leave? Yeah, that was probably a good idea. Yurak got up to leave just as Lance was walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He seemed a little surprised that Yurak was there.

Yurak’s fur puffed up like he had just shoved his tail in an electric socket, again. “I um… Sorry!” Squeaked Yurak as he quickly left the room. Lance had to be naked under that towel. Why didn’t he get dressed while he was in the bathroom? He didn’t understand. Was that normal Altean behaviour? He was so confused… He still needed to talk to the staff about the stuff he scented.

***

Later that evening Lance wandered around the lower floor of the house. He liked seeing all the interesting and different things that were decorating each room. Lots of animal hides and skulls. He wondered if Yurak was the one that killed them all or if they were gifts or bought.

He stopped in front of a large taxidermied four armed bear thing. The fur was a dark red and it had large teeth. It was interesting looking to say the least. Very scary. He had a feeling this thing might do something weird like spit acid. 

“I’m guessing you don’t have bargrats on Altea?” Asked a maid.

Lance nodded. “Yeah. We don’t have these kinds of animals on my planet. It’s interesting.”

The maid nodded. “I see. Bargrats are very aggressive. They aren’t native to our region. They live much further North. The Marquess and Marchioness of Carcrang organise a hunt every other deco phoebe. They invite everyone in the royal court to their Summer home for a movement of hunting.” 

“Oh, so Yurak shot this?”

The maid nodded. “I believe Duke Yurak and the Baroness of Fichrog had been hunting the bargrat for several quintants. Dunk Yurak got the killing shot so he got to keep the fur. They divided the meat.”

“Huh, that’s interesting…”

The maid nodded. “Yes… Have you seen anything you like?”

“Like the tapestries and skulls?”

They shrugged. “I guess… Are there any tapestries you like?”

“Um… Let me show you.” Lance and the maid walked into the sitting room and Lance gestured to the tapestry depicting vineyards where Galra were working, forests where they hunted, and people working with lather. “This one.”

The maid nodded. “Ah yes. This one is a small piece of a much larger tapestry at the palace. It depicts the three main things that a Galra thinks of when they think of Verpzar. They think of our alcohol, our relatively safe wilds, and our craftsmanship with leather. Each member of the royal court has one of these in their homes.”

“Huh, neat. Wish I had one of these in my room… I have the Altean royal crest on a banner hung up in my room but that’s about it. Now don’t tell anyone, but I kind of like this one a lot more than the ones back home.”

She chuckled. “Aw, you’re too nice. I’m sure your tapestries are lovely too.”

“Well they probably don’t look as impressive to me since I’m used to seeing them.”

“Possibly. Is there anything else you have taken an interest in?”

“Um…” Lance looked around the room. “Well, everything is kind of interesting to me. I mean, I don’t have anything like this on my planet… Do you have some simple books I can try reading?”

“Like a children’s book?” She inquired. 

“Yeah.”

She thought for a moment. “Hmm, if you’d like, I can bring you a few children’s books to have a look at.”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“Please wait here.” The maid quickly left the room and soon returned with two books. One with the Galran alphabet and one that was a simple children’s book. “These belong to my sister’s kit. They are a little older now so they aren’t really interested in them anymore, so it should be pretty good for you to learn our language.”

“Thank you.” Lance sat down on a chair and had a look through the books. They were simple enough to understand, so he spent the rest of his afternoon reading over children’s books and trying to annunciate the simple words properly. He felt like he was doing a pretty good job of it too.

Eventually someone came to bring Lance to the dining room. Yurak was already there and seemed to be waiting for him. He smiled happily at him when he noticed that Lance was in the room.

“Hey Lance.”

“Hey.” Lance happily sat down. “What are we eating tonight?”

“Raadaash tenderloin.” Said Yurak. “There’s also the same vegetables from the other night with some pickled nornorkida.. It’s the red stuff.”

“Ah, okay. Thank you.” He happily cut into the meat. “Don’t usually get to eat tenderloin. It’s kind of more expensive.Usually end up eating stuff like the skirt of flank.”

“I personally prefer the tongue or neck…” Said Yurak quietly. “But the tenderloin is really nice too.”

“Ah, okay.” Lance happily ate the food, but he found that the pickled red stuff tasted a little bitter. Kind of crunchy too.

Yurak ate some of his food. “So… Um… Do you like the estate?”

“Oh yeah. Your home is lovely. I like it.”

“Is there anything you like?” Asked Yurak. “Like, have you seen um… Anything that you like? Things that you find interesting?”

“Um, I like the tapestries and the big bargrat thing. It’s pretty cool.”

Yurak’s ears drooped slightly and he went back to eating his food. “Ah, okay...”

***

While Lance and Yurak were tiptoeing around each other’s feelings, Shiro went to see if he could speak with Allura, if she was free of course. He happened to find her and her friend Romelle in the gardens.

He bowed at them both. “Ladies.”

“Hello Shiro.” Said Allura. “May we help you with something?”

“Yes. You see, Yurak has become quite smitten with your fool.”

Romelle chuckled. “Well that explains where he went.”

Allura grinned. “Oh yes. Well, is there a problem? Is there some kind of law that wouldn’t allow someone from the royal court to be with someone outside of the royal court?”

Shiro chuckled. “It’s fine. No problems there. I’m just wondering if there are any courting rituals that Altean’s have. Galra have their own of course, and I’m trying to give Yurak some advice on how to effectively let Lance know that he’s interested in him.”

“Small gifts.” Said Romelle. “Things like small rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings… Things like that. Though you need to actually say it’s a gift because you like them and that’s what it’s for. Small gifts are definitely preferred at the start of a potential courtship. Large gifts are seen as tacky.”

Shiro nodded as he listened along. “Huh, I see… we have something kind of similar. We scent personal objects and leave them for our potential partners to take… If I know Yurak, he’s probably scented some of his stuff and left it around the estate to see if Lance will take them…”

“Probably not.” Said Allura. “We would consider that stealing. Plus our sense of smell is nowhere near as strong as yours. Lotor could still smell the flowers well into the evening. Even after I had a shower and couldn’t smell it myself.”

“Ah, that might be a problem…” Muttered Shiro. “I’ll have to inform Yurak about this before he assumes Lance is rejecting him… Do you think Yurak has a chance with Lance?”

Allura shrugged. “I haven’t had a good heart to heart with Lance in a long time, what with my wedding and all. But he hasn’t complained about Yurak… He was kind of excited to be able to look around Diabazzel outside of the castle. I guess being with Yurak could have been part of it.”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “Is Lance attracted to men?”

“Men and women.” Informed Romelle. “So Lance should be fine with dating a Galra if he liked them. Yurak is in with a chance.”

“It would be wonderful if there was another Altean-Galra relationship so soon after Lotor and I.” Said Allura happily. “The more our people intermingle the easier it will be to keep and maintain peace.”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “Yeah, okay… Is there anything important he should or shouldn’t do to try and win Lance over?”

Allura shrugged. “Alteans are a very physical people. We like people close to each other. Lots of hand holding, hugging, general touching. That kind of stuff.”

“Noted. I’ll inform Yurak. Thank you, your majesty for your help. You too Romelle.” Shiro politely excused himself and went back to work. He was still technically on the clock and still had a varga left until he could officially leave. He’d inform Yurak of his findings when he could.


	81. Light Meal (Monster AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief warning, there is a brief mention of sexual assault in this chapter. Nothing actually happens but it is mentioned and might make you uncomfortable. So yeah. Anyway, I was listening to random songs on Youtube and I happened to hear one that kind of really fit this chapter. Feel free to check it out if you like. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Citizen Soldier- Cannibal:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnXQxqEhkM0

Shiro’s request for more information on EX_773A and other documents pertaining to Project Pupa had been approved rather quickly. It usually would have taken months, but considering the circumstances surrounding everything it probably got forced through. He got a little more information on EX_773A. It seemed to be some kind of antigen. He needed to speak to the lead on the project.

Thankfully she seemed to be there. Shiro went to her office on the third floor and knocked at her door. “Come in!” Called a sing-song voice.

Shiro sighed and walked into the office. Dr Honerva Diabazzel was happily sitting behind her desk typing away at her computer. She looked up at him and nodded slightly. “You would be… Takashi Shirogane, correct?” He nodded. “Yeah, Sendak said that you might be making an appearance sometime soon. Here to pick up the files about EX_773A and the Generators?”

“... Yes? I know that the antigen was developed from a mutation in the plasma but-”

“It’s not just a mutation. It’s evolution.” Corrected Honerva. “Well, kind of. That chemical is a wonderful thing… And to think it came from such a disgusting looking cave fungus.” She pushed a piece of paper over towards Shiro. “Anyway, since you need to capture them it’s best to cut through all the cryptic bullshit at the moment. Here is a list in chronological order of what animals we injected with EX_773A. As you can see we started small with insects, but we quickly moved up to larger animals like rats, dogs, and cats.”

Shiro picked up the paper and read through it. Honerva wasn’t kidding. It seemed like they had been testing on crickets and worms before moving onto rats. Mammals seemed to be more receptive to it and could produce a small amount of it if injected when they were young enough. There were signs that some of them could regenerate their flesh. It was promising, but since they needed to feed this flesh to the monster it needed to have more meat on it.

Eventually from what he could conclude at a glance only a large mammal would work. The last animal on their list of things they tested on was a human baby. Male. Seeing that made Shiro feel sick.

“Is there a reason why you decided to infect a male infant with EX_773A?”

Honerva chuckled. “It’s actually a failsafe. Once we figured out that Pupa was binary, like most vertebra animals known to man, it was decided we would be selecting candidates for EX_773A testing accordingly when we got to human subjects. Male Pupa’s with male EX_773A Generators, and female Pupa’s with female EX_773A Generators. It was simply a matter of biology.”

“How so?” Asked Shiro.

“A Generator’s healing factor is accelerated to an extraordinary degree and we are unsure of how a Pupa would react when they reached their teenage years.” Said Honerva calmly. “Also, a Generator and a Pupa are naturally drawn to each other. Even more so after the first few feedings. Having them as the same sex was meant to help prevent any accidental pregnancies in the event that the Pupa raped the Generator.”

Shiro was uncomfortable with the way they talked about that so casually. “You think that a man can’t rape another man, or a woman another woman?”

“Never said that it wouldn’t happen.” Said Honerva. “Hell, I almost expect it to happen. I’m just saying that this way if a Pupa and Generator are the same sex then we won’t have an unexpected pregnancy. It’s highly unlikely the Pupa could get close enough to a woman or man in a sexually intimate way without eating their lover alive, like a spider or mantis. Only a Generator, with their ability to heal, would be able to survive such a savage encounter.”

“... Hypothetically, what would happen if-”

“If a Generator or Pupa became pregnant?” Asked Honvera in an almost gleeful manner. “I have theorised a few possible outcomes, but if I am to be honest the best case scenario would be the same experience those researchers experienced when they gave up their wombs to grow a Pupa; nausea, bloating, cramps, swollen breasts. All the usual symptoms one would get from pregnancy… Then the unusual symptoms; pork cravings, insomnia, hearing voices, lucid dreaming and various degrees of self mutilation.” They picked up a file off their desk and tossed it at Shiro.

The man caught it and quickly flipped through it. Inside were the files of female personnel. “These are…”

“All the women involved in Project Pupa.” Said Honerva calmly. “Each one was selected for their physical and mental health. While carrying Pupa they were under 24 hour surveillance and reported anything and everything that they went through. It was all vital research.”

Shiro flipped through the file and found the most recent woman. Keith’s mother. Krolia. “... And what did they get out of it? The mothers?”

“Once the Pupa was removed they were given a pay raise, a pay bonus, and were allowed to move to any project they pleased as long as it wasn’t in the same building as Project Pupa. Couldn’t risk any of them suddenly developing motherly instincts and trying to get them out of the facility. They also signed some hefty NDAs before insemination too.”

Shiro frowned a little. He wondered if Keith would force himself on someone else like that? He wanted to believe that he wouldn’t, but in all honesty, Keith was a monster. He didn’t have the same morals as humans. He saw them as food and if he had some kind of sexual awakening then… He could only imagine what Keith was capable of. The animal world was already horrific enough without Keith’s brand of horror adding to it.

“If you need more information you’ll have to talk to the lead of this project.” Said Honerva as she turned her attention back to the computer.

“... That’s not you?”

“Nope. Like you, I’m second in command but everyone thinks I’m in charge. The one running this operation is… Dr. Benita Martinez. But she is on leave at the moment. What a time to take a vacation huh?”

“Yeah…”

***

Lance told his friends he was heading home and told Rachel he was going to hang out with Pidge and Hunk. He didn’t want to lie to them but he didn’t really know what else to tell them. He couldn’t really say he was going to get eaten alive by a monster. But there he was, at the water tower. Waiting for the monster to turn up.

After standing around for a bit the monster seemed to awkwardly walk out from behind the trees. “You came…”

“Yeah, I did.” Said Lance. Though he wasn’t really sure why. Keith wanted to eat him. Keith was going to eat him. Was he going to do that now? Pin him down and eat him under the water tower?

Instead of that Keith lightly took Lance by the wrist and pulled him towards the treeline. Lance just walked along with him, unable to really say or do anything but follow him deep into the woods. He didn’t know what to do. He just followed Keith deeper and deeper into the woods until they came to a cabin.

Keith pushed open the door and lightly pulled Lance inside. The cabin was small but kind of nice. It wasn’t very clean, but it looked like Keith had been trying to keep it clean. He awkwardly sat down on a small wooden stool and Lance sat on a chair. The two of them kind of awkwardly stared at each other. Neither of them seemed to be sure of what to do now that they were in the same room together.

Keith spoke first. “So… Um… are you okay?”

“As okay as I can be.” Said Lance quietly. The air in the cabin was kind of humid and sweet. Keith was hungry. He wanted to eat, but he didn’t seem to know how to go about it. It was strange really. “So… What are you?”

“I don’t know.” Said Keith honestly. “I… I don’t know what I am. I’m just… I’m me. Is monster an animal type? I’ve been called a monster a lot.”

“Monsters aren’t… It isn’t a real animal. It’s like, a thing that’s unnatural. Something that’s alive that shouldn’t exist.” Said Lance as he lightly picked at his nails. “I-I guess I’m a monster too then since I’m now… I…” Lance couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in his eyes. What was he? What was his life? Who was he now?

Suddenly Keith was crouching down in front of him. The monster very awkwardly reached up and patted his head. “Why are you sad?”

“I… I don’t think I’m human anymore.”

“I’ve never been human, so I don’t think I can empathise with you.” Said Keith quietly.

“Yeah… Why are you being so nice to me? Don’t you just want to rip me open?”

“No.”

“... But aren’t you hungry?” Asked Lance. “Isn’t this why I’m here? So you can eat me?” 

“Well yeah, but I’ve never eaten someone like you before.” Said Keith softly. He lightly brushed some hair away from Lance’s face. “You don’t die… I guess I… I’m kind of concerned about you. I like your flesh. It tastes really good. But the fact you can’t feel anything is kind of concerning to me. Everything else I eat is small and can be consumed in a bite or two. You’re different. I um… I don’t want you to be more uncomfortable than you already are.” 

That sweet smell overtook Lance’s nose. Keith was hungry. He needed to eat and the sweet smell of Keith’s pheromones were making Lance placid and submissive. Keith picked Lance up and placed him on the bed. He awkwardly hovered his hands over Lance’s body, like he was unsure what to do with them.

“... Do you want me to take off my shirt again?” Asked Lance.

“Yeah. That would be helpful.” Keith sat back and watched as Lance took off his shirt, tossing it aside before lying down again.

Lance watched as the monster’s eyes slowly raked over him. It was kind of concerning, but Lance figured this was probably the first time that Keith was this close to a human before and allowed to take his time. It felt grossly intimate and kind of made him squirm slightly.

Kieth ran his fingers over Lance’s neck and collarbone. He could sink his claws in and kill him without a second thought. He needed to stop thinking like he could actually get killed by Keith. He’d survived three feedings already. He’d survive a fourth.

“... So you don’t have any survival instinct anymore?” Asked Keith.

“No, I don’t… I don’t think I ever have…” Muttered Lance. “Hard to have a survival instinct when nothing hurts you.”

“I guess…” Keith ran his hands over Lance’s torso lightly touching and squeezing his muscles. He seemed to like his biceps. Made sense. It was probably one of his most muscular parts apart from his legs.

“... Is there any part that you like eating?” Asked Lance. “Like, when you eat animals and stuff what do you eat?”

“Everything.” Said Keith simply. “I usually start at the neck… I have to eat meat but I make it quick. I’m not a fan of making my food suffer.” He put his hand on Lance’s stomach. “Then I slit open the belly. I need to make sure that there is nothing hidden inside.”

“Hidden?”

“Parasites mostly.” Said Keith calmly. “But sometimes bits of plastic and metal. Those make me really sick. Parasites just taste weird to me. I also don’t like the way worms feel when they roll across by tongue and down my throat.”

“You ate things riddled with parasites?” Asked Lance. “That’s gross.”

Keith shrugged. “They wanted to see if I could get infected with parasites. I’m still parasite free after all these years.”

“Who are they?” Asked Lance. “Where did you even come from?”

“...” Keith leaned down and sunk his teeth into Lance’s chest. Clearly this was the end of the conversation. 

Lance just closed his eyes and let Keith eat what he wanted. He ate a lot slower and at a more tame pace. It wasn’t like he was trying to eat him and run. Keith could take his time. Lance hoped it didn’t take too long. He needed to get home soon. He still had homework to do and he didn’t want his family to worry about him.

It could have been hours, could have been minutes, but soon the sweet smelling pheromones dissipated and the room just smelled musty and felt humid. Keith sat back and wiped the blood off of his face. He looked a little dazed and slightly out of it.

“Water…” He muttered. “I need to get water…” Keith left the cabin and Lance slowly sat up to look at himself. He could see himself slowly healing. Keith seemed to only want to eat his chest. Weird, but that was fine. Who was he to tell a man eating monster what to eat? Keith came back into the cabin with a bucket of water. He looked cleaner than he did before. He sat next to Lance and did his best to clean the blood off of him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Muttered Lance. “You didn’t really say what parts you like eating most?” 

Keith shrugged and put his hand on Lance’s thigh, squeezing slightly. “Thigh meat. It has a lot of flavour… Lots of meat. I like it.”

“Then why did you go for my chest?”

“Because I wasn’t that hungry.” He passed Lance his shirt. “... Will you come back when I get hungry again?”

“... Do I have a choice?”

Keith looked a little confused for a moment before he nodded. “Well yeah? Everyone always has a choice… That’s what Shiro used to tell me… S-so you have a choice. I don’t get what I want anyway so I won’t be upset if you leave.” 

Lance couldn’t believe how sad Keith sounded, but then again he didn’t really know much about Keith at all besides he was some weird human eating monster. Was he manipulating him? Like emotionally and stuff? Then again, he didn’t really seem too capable of lying. He seemed pretty honest.

“... Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

Lance nodded. “Maybe… I have mixed feelings about being used as a food source for someone else.”

“Fair enough. I have mixed feelings about eating someone that doesn’t die after I rip out their throat.”

“Yeah… I can see how that might be a little weird.”

“Yeah… At least it doesn’t hurt when I eat you? So I guess that’s something…”

“Yeah…” Lance stood up and made his way towards the door. “Well, I should get home before anyone starts worrying about me… That would be bad.”

“Oh, right.” Keith got up and followed Lance out the door. “Do you know the way back? I can take you back to town if you like?”

“... Yeah. Show me the way back.” Keith nodded and led Lance back towards the town. Lance still couldn’t believe that this might be his life now. He’s become a monster’s food source.

***

A woman sat alone in her room on her third glass of wine for the evening. She was fine. Everything was fine. Nothing was wrong. As long as she had her wine she was fine. She could just drink away the pain. It was good. She was just thankful that she hadn’t fallen into drugs. She could just imagine how fucked up her life would be if she started using heroin or meth.

The woman sighed sadly and looked out the window of her shitty apartment. Sure she had a very large sum of money due to the compensation she received, but she was pissing it away on alcohol. Her stomach growled a little and she instinctively pressed her hand against it. She sat frozen in fear as she steadied her breathing.

She was okay. There was no way she was pregnant. She had a hysterectomy. She was fine. There was nothing growing inside her. Nothing ever would again.

Her phone suddenly went off and she jumped. She hesitantly picked up the phone. “Hello?”

_“Hi, hello. Is this Krolia Kogane?”_

“Depends on who’s asking.”

_“Right. I’m Takashi Shirogane. I work for Diaba-”_

“You have the wrong number.”

_“Wait! Please! I just need a moment of your time!”_ Said Shiro quickly. _“I need some information. I… I’m working with your son.”_

A chill ran up her spine as her body filled with dread. “You must be mistaken. I don’t have a son.”

_“... I know this is difficult, but I’m just looking for information.”_ Said Shiro calmly. _“I know you have some idea what Project Pupa is. Your son has escaped. I’m trying to stop him from doing something stupid and-”_

“I don’t have a son!” Snapped Krolia. “I don’t have a son! I don’t have a son! I don’t have a son! Stop calling me!” She ended the call and threw her phone across the room. 

She put a small hole in the wall with it and ran her fingers through her hair. Her nails scraped across her scalp until it hurt. Even then she continued to scrap at her scalp. She didn’t have a son. They didn’t exist. Keith wasn’t real. He wasn’t. He couldn’t be. She couldn’t deal with this. She couldn’t deal with them anymore.


	82. Tossed (X-men AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of the X-men au. Introducing Griffin! He's still an asshole, and Keith just wants to sleep. He's a big purple cat boy. Let him sleep! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Progress was slowly being made with Keith. How could Lance tell? The scary purple cat man sat at the same table as him at breakfast the next day. Sure he was all the way up the other end of the table, but it was the same table. So it was progress. Very good progress. Even his stone cold silence seemed less aggressive and slightly more at ease when Keith was around him.

Hunk and Pidge were right about Keith acting like a cat. Lance noticed that when they weren’t in class, Keith was either outside or finding places to hide in the building. It was kind of fun trying to spot Keith’s tail sticking out of random places. It was kind of funny. Lance was half tempted to pull on his tail, not hard, just a light pull so he knows he’s there. Then again that could end badly and Lance could lose his face.

After school had ended he, Pidge, and Hunk were just hanging out together outside. The weather was good so it was nice to do their homework out there. It was just a bit of algebra and Pidge finished very quickly. Since she was done she gathered some dirt into a pile and put her hands over it and glared.

“... What are you trying to do?” Asked Hunk.

“A theory.”

“Yeah?”

“... So I have technokinesis right? And theoretically that means I can talk to and manipulate technology. Which means that I can manipulate things that have electricity running through it, but I can also manipulate pieces of metal.” Said Pidge. “Which suggests that I have some kind of magnetism thing going on.”

“But why the dirt?” Asked Lance.

“I’m trying to see if I can draw out the micro iron filaments in the soil.” Said Pidge. “If I can do that then I could theoretically create any piece of technology I want and I won’t have to look for scraps.”

Hunk seemed impressed. “That’s pretty cool. Do you think you’ll be able to do it?”

“Eh, doubtful. But I’m going to give it a go.”

Suddenly a flower pot got thrown off the roof and landed near them. They all jumped in surprise and looked up to see Keith. His back was facing them but it sounded like he was yelling at someone. Lance was instantly worried, but Hunk and Pidge seemed really annoyed.

“Griffin.” They both grumbled.

“Griffin?”

“An asshole with mild weather abilities.” Muttered Pidge. “Fucker thinks he’s so cool just because he can make a EF1 tornado. He just loves making life for other people miserable. Worst part is he’s smart too, so he doesn’t get caught often.”

“He picks on Keith a fair bit.” Said Hunk as he stood up. “I’m going to make sure Keith doesn’t get thrown off the roof again…”

“Again?!”

They heard more shouting and then Keith got flung off the roof. He flew back a good distance too. He didn’t even hit the roof. He just arched over the side of the roof. Lance watched in shock as Keith quickly twisted and turned his body in the air. He ended up landing and ended up doing a quick roll to soften the blow.

He quickly jumped back up and glared at the roof. “YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD GRIFFIN!” He yelled.

Lance looked up to see the most cocky looking fucker just looking down at Keith like he was the king of the fucking world. The bastard even had the audacity to flip him off and laugh. Well, Lance was having none of that. He took his eraser out of his pencil case and threw it as hard as he could at the sug fucker’s face.

Of course it hit its mark, and Griffin ended up clutching his mouth as he quickly ran out of view. Lance grinned and Pidge subtly high-fived him. “Nice one Lance. What did you do?”

“Well if I hit him just right he’s going to be missing a tooth.” Said Lance.

“Nice. Next time bust his nose. Griffin is a pussy and gets all woozy around blood.”

“Noted.” He looked over at Keith who looked like he was trying to calm himself down by clawing at the grass. “... You okay there Keith?”

They looked over at the group, still looking very pissed off at getting thrown off the roof. Everyone kind of froze as Keith just glared at them. His pupils were full slits at the moment while he was baring his fangs. He was breathing heavily with his ears pinned back. After a few deep breaths they calmed down and kind of looked embarrassed.

“Yeah…” He mumbled. “I’m fine. Nothing I’m used to Griffin being a little shit.”

“What’s his problem anyway?”

Keith shrugged. “Griffin blew a door closed on my tail and almost broke it the first week he came here. Once I freed my tail I threw him through a wall, or at least attempted to. We both got detention.”

“Ah…”

“What were you doing on the roof?” Asked Hunk. “Like, you can tell us if you want to but you don’t have to.”

“... Sleeping.” Muttered Keith. “I’m semi nocturnal. I’m up until midnight most nights. Griffin and some of his shitty friends throw stuff at my window if they think I’m in there and it wakes me up. I have to look for other places to sleep. No one usually goes to the garden apart from Allura and a few other mutants that have plant based mutations… They usually leave me alone.” He sighed in frustration. “Well, now I have to find somewhere else I can sleep…”

“... Why not our room?” Suggested Lance. “Is that okay, Hunk?”

Hunk was a little surprised, but he nodded in agreement. “Um, sure. If you just need a place to sleep away from Griffin then feel free to come in.”

“Really?” Keith looked really surprised, then suspicious. “What’s the catch?”

“Dude, do you want us to treat you like shit or something?” Asked Pidge. “We’re all a bunch of freaks here and life’s hard enough without all of us turning on each other. By the way, I’m Pidge and that’s Hunk.”

“Hi.” Said Hunk.

Keith nodded slightly. “Yeah, I know who you guys are. Technopath and kinetic energy transfer, right?”

Hunk smiled. “Yeah. That’s us.”

“We’re going to be watching some movies in my room tonight.” Said Pidge. “Want to join us? We’re going to find the dumbest, shittiest monster movies on Shudder. That or we're just gonna watch Shin Godzilla again.”

Once again Keith seemed surprised. “Oh, um… okay? That would be nice…”

Lance grinned. “Awesome! We’ll be starting around 8:30.”

***

Keith didn’t know what he was doing. He agreed to go to another movie thing with Lance and his friends? He was pretty sure that Lance’s friends didn’t like him that much. No one really liked him that much. No one talked to him unless they had to talk to him. Keith was used to being ignored. Being ignored was fine. He could deal with it, but he couldn’t deal with people wanting to be around him because they actually wanted to. It confused him to no end.

So there Keith was, quietly pacing around in front of Pidge’s door. It was 8:30 now but he didn’t know if he wanted to be there. If he didn’t want to go then Lance would probably tell Shiro about it when they next saw him and then Shiro would be disappointed in him. Shiro had always pushed Keith to make friends his own age.

Keith sighed a little and knocked on the door. Hunk opened it up and grinned. “Hey Keith, Glad you could make it. Come on in.”

Keith nodded and quickly shuffled inside. Lance was sitting on the bed with a bag of chips while Pidge was busy using her technokinesis to build a small projector. Keith awkwardly sat on the edge of the bed.

“Hey Keith.” Said Lance. “Another five minutes and I was going to head over to your room to see if you were still coming over.”

Keith shrugged. “I said I would come…”

“Still glad you could make it.” Said Hunk. He sat on the floor and grabbed a pillow. “Pidge, whatever movie we’re watching is not going to be too scary, right?”

Pidge shook her head. “Nah, it’ll be something dumb, like Velosopastor, or octoshark… Maybe Piranhaconda? As long as it has bad acting and shitty CGI I’m in… Awful practical effects are good too. You losers got any idea of what you want?”

Lance shrugged. “No idea… Know any movies where some big tittied woman gets butchered and a fake tit flies out?”

“I think that happened in one of the SAW movies.” Said Pidge. “Pretty sure that happened in the piranha movies too. Fake titty gags are a classic… Oh perfect! Death Bed; The Bed That Eats.”

“Sounds stupid. I love it.” Said Lance.

“It isn’t too scary is it?” Asked Hunk.

“Nah, it’s stupid as fuck.” They looked over at Keith. “You want to watch it?”

“Sure.” It sounded like a stupid movie, but if they wanted to watch it then he would watch it too. 

Unfortunately after the first ten minutes Keith grew bored of it and ended up looking down at his tail. It twitched slightly and looked a little messy. Keith needed to consider combing it a bit more. He lazily moved his tail onto his lap and started to run his claws over it a few times to try and flatten out the kinks in his fur. Maybe he should consider trimming it soon.

Lance poked his shoulder and offered him some chips. “Want some? They are chicken flavour.”

“... Thanks.” Keith happily took a few and Lance moved a little closer to him. “You okay? You seem a little bored.”

Keith shrugged. “It’s not really my kind of movie.”

“Yeah, kind of a little too artsy for me… You have some dust on your ear.”

“I do?” Keith quickly wiggled his ears.

“... Want me to get it?”

“... Um, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Lance reached up and very carefully took some fluff out of his hair. “There. All gone.”

“Thanks…” Keith’s ears still twitched anyway. He wasn’t very fond of people touching his ears in the first place.

“... Have you considered getting your ears pierced?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Your ears are pretty big. You could do a whole bunch of stuff to them.” Said Lance.

Pidge looked over at them boys. “Huh, yeah you could. Maybe some bars? That would be pretty cool.”

“I guess, but I can’t.” Said Keith. “My ears are sensitive. Getting them pierced would probably really hurt… And if my ears get infected that would suck. I’d rather not risk it.”

“Fair enough.” Said Pidge. “... Septum piercing?”

“I don’t want to fuck around with my nose either.” Muttered Keith. “I need to track stuff with this…”

“Do you have a special brush for your tail?” Asked Lance. “Or like one for your body or something?”

Keith frowned and tilted his head slightly. “Yeah? I mean, the fur on my tail and some of my fur in other places is different to um… to other places… So I need a different comb.”

Lance clapped his hands. “Okay, next week we’re having a spa night.”

“A what?” Asked Pidge. “Sounds like a disease.”

“Very funny techno gremlin.” Grumbled Lance. “A spa night. We can combine it with a movie night. We can do manicures, pedicures, face masks for the people with skin and um… conditioner masks for those with fur… I am going to braid the hell out of your hair Pidge.”

Pidge pouted and protectively wrapped her arms over her head. “My hair is short and doesn’t braid well. Fuck off.”

“So rude. Hunk! Tell Pidge to be nicer to me!”

Hunk looked over at her. “Pidge, be nicer to Lance.”

“Never.”

He shrugged. “I tried.”

“I feel so betrayed right now.” Lance sighed dramatically and leaned against Keith. “Everyone’s so horrible to me! Keith! Back me up! Help me!”

“... No.”

Lance gasped in shock and poked his face. “Rude. Just for that you’re coming with me this weekend down to the town to pick out a hair conditioner you like!”

Keith stared at him and blinked slowly. “You want me to go to the town? With you?”

“Yeah. I want to get something that you like.” Said Lance. “Like, I don’t know if you’re sensitive smells or not so you need to come along with me.”

“...” Keith could feel his face heating up. “Um, okay…”

“Come on guys…” Whined Hunk. “I’m still trying to watch this movie… And figure out what the heck is happening.” Everyone mumbled out an apology to Hunk and went back to looking at the weird old movie. Keith still didn’t get it and went back to trying to get the kinks out of his tail.


	83. Internal Screaming (Camboys AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the smut. This chapter is pretty much just smut. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was quietly screaming as he stood in his kitchen while making ice tea. Lance was OceanQueen5. They were also playing with Kosmo. They had crouched down to do so and damn, those pants were too tight for their own good. They left nothing to the imagination. Too tight and too damn perfect.

But he needed to be more professional… Okay, it wasn’t that he needed to be more professional, it was more that Keith didn’t really know how to act around someone like Lance. Someone that he really, really liked and found super attractive. He knew it was definitely rude to just try and well, have sex with him.

That would be creepy right? Way too creepy. He felt like he was already pushing it by inviting Lance over. Then again did Lance want to do it too? He did come over and he did drop hints that he wanted it too have sex too… But then again Lance had always been super flirty in a jokey way. Lance might not want to do anything like that. This was too confusing for him.

He walked over to Lance with the ice tea. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Lance took it and went to sit on the couch. Kosmo happily followed behind him and rested his head on Lance’s lap, very happy to receive more head pats. Keith sat by him and awkwardly drank his own drink. “So…”

“Yes?” Asked Keith.

Lance smiled at him. “Your house is really nice.”

“Thanks.”

“I recognise a lot of places here from some of your tamer photos.”

Keith blushed slightly. “Yeah. Well… I sometimes get good lighting in here.”

“Hmm, maybe I can be around for a photoshoot? Maybe even be a part of one?”

Keith’s blush deepened. “Oh? Really?”

Lance grinned. “Yeah. If you want me to. I mean, you probably have your own schedule thing going on and like, have your own stuff that your fans like.”

The poor boy’s brain started to combust. “... So you want to do a colab? Like solo stuff? T-together?”

Lance smiled a little and glanced back down at Kosmo. “Um… Well either would be good with me. Like, I don’t know if you’ve basically shot porn with someone else or anything but-”

“I don’t mind.” Said Keith quickly. “I um… I mean, I’ve kind of wanted to see you all up close and um… I’ve always thought you were kind of cute… Even over that first text you sent me. I really… I… I like you… A lot.”

“... I like you a lot too.” Admitted Lance. He smiled at him and moved slightly closer to him. “I um… I don’t know if you ever took me seriously when I flirted with you over texts since you kind of brushed me off most of the time but I… I think you’re really cute.”

Keith continued to blush. “Y-yeah?”

“Yeah…” Lance leaned over Keith and lightly pressed his lips against Keith’s. It only lasted a few seconds, but when Lance pulled back both boys were blushing. Keith quickly pulled him back into a deeper, more passionate kiss. They pulled back slightly and Lance grinned. “So, wanna be boyfriends?”

“Yeah.” He kissed him again, then paused. “Wait… Does that mean we have to stop camming and taking photos? Because those photos and videos are like 90% of my income these days.”

Lance chuckled. “Nah, go ahead and keep doing what you’re doing… But if you’re sexting other people then that has to stop.”

“Fair enough. But you’re the only one that I’ve sexted before…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… You have to stop sexting other people too.”

Lance smiled and kissed Keith’s forehead. “Keith, I’ve only been interested in you. RedDesert. I haven’t sexted anyone else but you.”

Keith smiled and kissed him again. “That’s nice. So um…”

“Yeah?”

“Is there anything you want to eat for dinner?” Asked Keith. “I um… I have a few ideas…”

“An artist that cooks too? Well you have me completely smitten.” Said Lance. He kissed his cheek and grinned. “So how long do you traditionally wait until you have sex with someone you’re dating?”

Keith felt that he was going to die with all the blood rushing to his head, and not well, down a little further south. “I um… H-however long it takes for the mood to feel right.”

Lance hummed and ran his thumb over Keith’s bottom lip. “And does it feel right now?”

“Y-”

“Bark!” Both boys jumped and looked over at Kosmo who wanted to play with some ratty looking toy rabbit. He wagged his tail at them and happily jumped around. He wanted to play, play, play. He ran up to them and dumped the toy on their bodies. “Bark! Bark! Bark!”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Thanks Kosmo. Really set the mood for us.”

“Bark!” Kosmo happily wagged his tail and demanded more head pats. It made Keith roll his eyes and throw the rabbit across the room. Kosmo happily ran after the toy and happily shook it around.

Lance chuckled. “Aw, he just wants to play.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “I know… I’d rather just play with you…”

“Oh?” Asked Lance. “Well if that’s the case, do you want to see me in something a little nicer? I know you like lace.”

Keith felt his throat go a little dry. “Yeah, I do.”

“Good.” Lance pulled himself off the couch, but kept his hand on Keith’s chest. “Wait here.” He quickly walked back to the guest room.

Was this happening? Was this really happening? Was Lance really going to… He shook his head as he felt his cock starting to twitch with interest. Keith squirmed a little in his seat and quickly drank the rest of his drink. It did nothing to cool him down.

Suddenly two tanned hands covered with fingerless, blue lace gloves were placed over his eyes. “I’m back.” He purred. Miss me?”

Keith hummed a little and reached up, gently running his fingers over the lace. “You know how much I love it when you wear these gloves?”

“Yep. Why do you think I try wearing them in all my photos and videos?” Asked Lance as he moved his hands away from Keith’s face. “Over the past few months I’ve been thinking about how nice it would be to dress up for you. I wanted to dress up and look sexy for you…”

Keith reached up and pulled Lance down into another kiss. “I’ve always thought you were attractive. Even when I first met you and didn’t know you were Ocean I thought you were attractive… I thought I messed up with you when we first met since Kosmo kind of jumped on you and made you hurt your back.”

Now it was Lance’s turn to blush. “Ah… About that, I was wearing a buttplug when Kosmo jumped on me. I was trying really hard not to bust a nut in my pants.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah… I didn’t think I’d get tackled right out the front door.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.” Said Lance. “So, do you still like my butt?”

“Yeah. It’s cute.”

“Aw, you think I have a cute butt.” Cooed Lance. “Want to head to your room so you can get better acquainted with it?”

“Sounds nice.” Keith got up and took Lance by the hand, quickly taking him to his room. His room wasn’t a mess, but it wasn’t clean either. 

Lance happily laid back on the bed and Keith was able to get a good look at Lance. He changed his clothes so all that he was wearing were those Lance gloves, a long shirt that just reached his thighs, and blue stockings. He looked so pretty already.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Depends. Is it working?”

“You’ve been seducing me for months.” Keith hovered over Lance’s body and kissed him. 

Lance hummed in approval and ran his fingers across Keith’s sides and under his shirt. Keith shivered slightly but let Lance do as he wished as himself was preoccupied with kissing Lance’s neck and running his hands over his thighs. His hands quickly found Lance’s ass and he gently started to squeeze. It made Lance whine and whimper.

“Oh fuck…” He moaned. “Keith, so good…”

Keith squeezed a little harder and lifted Lance up by the hips. Lance gasped a little in shock as his legs were spread and his shirt bunched up around his chest. Lance was wearing a pretty blue thong and a big, bright turquoise gem was happily nestled between Lance’s cheeks.

“... Of course.”

“What? It’s a small one.” Whined Lance. “It isn’t that big.” 

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” Keith grabbed the end and slowly started to pull it out. Lance gasped and squirmed a little, unused to the feeling of someone else pulling it out. He happily pulled it out and watched Lance’s hole twitch and flutter. The butt plug wasn’t small. “... Yeah, this isn’t small.”

“Well, it is for me.”

Keith rolled his eyes and kissed along Lance’s thigh. “Of course it is.” He mumbled against his skin. “... Roll over.”

***

Lance quickly rolled over onto his stomach. Things had gone way better than he expected. Lace, apparently, was a kink of Keith’s that made him want to jump his bones. Not that Lance minded. He wanted this really damn badly. But he wanted to see Keith’s cock ring before they went too far.

He suddenly gasped when he felt Keith’s tongue lightly tracing around the rim. Keith was going to eat him out. “Oh fuck. Keith, you-oh!” Lance’s eyelids slipped shut as he gave into the feeling of Keith eating his ass. A finger pushed in and joined his tongue. Lance groaned and pushed back. “Keith… S-stop.”

Keith stopped but gave Lance a confused look. “You don’t like it?”

“No I do, I just want to see you dick.”

Keith blushed a little. “Ah, okay. Right…” Keith sat back and unzipped his pants. He took his dick out of his pants and standing there tall and proud was Keith’s pierced cock. Two shining silver studs lightly pressed against either side of his glands. Keith seemed a little embarrassed. “Um, yeah… So this is it…”

Lance felt his own dick twitch in excitement. “Did it hurt? Like, when you got it?”

Keith shrugged. “Well yeah, it’s my dick. I was really paranoid about making sure I didn’t get an infection. That was like, four years ago, so it’s all good now.”

“Yeah, looks like it.” Lance sat up and tossed his shirt away. “So does it have a name?”

“... My dick?”

“No, the piercing.” Said Lance. “Like does the piercing have a name or is it just called a dick piercing?”

“It’s called an ampallang piercing.” Said Keith. “I um… I considered a Prince Albert or a magic cross, but that seemed a little… I don’t know. I liked the look of this one better.”

“It looks good on you.” Said Lance as he stared at it. “Would you consider getting anything else?”

“Um, maybe a pubic or ladder piercing… Not sure if I’d do a top or frenum ladder though.”

“... Right. I can kind of guess what a ladder piercing is, but like, pubic?”

Keith pointed to the area just above his dick. “Like around here kind of? It’s around the pubic bone and stuff… I think I’d end up something stupid and accidentally rip it out.”

“Fair enough… Can I touch it?”

“Oh, um, sure.”

Lance reached out and very carefully stroked Keith’s cock, very carefully running his thumb over the head and piercing. Keith hummed softly as Lance slowly pumped his hand. Lance’s heart was pounding in his chest as he watched a small bead of precum starting to build up on the tip. Lance licked his lips before he quickly wrapped his lips around the bright pink tip and quickly started to bob his head. He could feel the smooth metal of Keith’s piercing rubbing down his throat. It made Lance’s head spin with delight.

Above him, Keith gasped and ran his fingers through his hair. It had been too long since Lance had given head. He moaned softly and closed his eyes while Keith tugged at his hair, trying to pull him forward further down his dick without choking him.

It was kind of cute how Keith was so concerned about him. Lance didn’t mind though, he thought it was kind of cute. He liked it. But he liked feeling that piercing scraping along his throat more. Lance did try to bob his head faster, but he could feel Keith starting to tense up. Lance didn’t want this to end yet.

He pushed back, giving the tip a quick kiss. “You have any lube?” He asked.

“Yeah, give me a second.” Keith leaned over Lance to the bedside table. He grabbed a bottle of lube and a condom. 

Lance grinned and made himself comfortable. He shimmied out of the thong and tossed it aside. It was fun getting eaten out while wearing it, but if he’s getting fucked, he’d rather not be wearing something so delicate. 

He felt Keith’s hand on his thigh, gently lifting it up. The darker haired man smiled softly at him. “Lance, are you ready? Do you need me to, um, stretch you more?”

“No, I’m good. You know me. I’m the size queen here.”

“Yeah…”

“... Is something wrong?” Asked Lance.

Keith shrugged. “I’m not really what you’re used to…”

Lance smiled softly at his lover and gently touched his face. “Keith, there’s no human on earth that is as big as half the stuff I put up my ass, but that’s okay. I thought I already told you, I like having sex with people just as much as I like fucking myself… Sex is just as good, if not better when it’s with someone I have an emotional connection with… And I really like you.” He pulled Keith down and kissed him. “Don’t you like me?”

Keith kissed back. “Of course I like you… I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

“The only way you could disappoint me is if you don’t try. Make me see stars Keith.”

Keith gulped and slowly pushed into him. Lance happily moaned. He knew he would love Keith’s piercings. It almost felt like one of his toys that had hard and soft bumps all over it, but so much better. Fucking himself was all well and good, but there was nothing like a warm body holding his and controlling the pace. This level of intimacy was usually something he felt left him way too vulnerable and open, but being here with Keith. In his arms. It was perfect. He shuddered when he felt Keith’s hips press firmly against his ass as he bottomed out.

“Fuck…” Moaned Lance. “We should have hooked up earlier.”

“Yeah.” Grunted Keith as he gave a quick, shallow thrust. Both moaned in pleasure and Keith started to pick up the pace. Lance’s toes curled and he arched his back as he felt that metal rubbing all along his walls. Yeah, Lance had a new kink now. Was he allowed to have that many kinks? Well when it felt this good who gave a fuck?

Lance ran his fingers down Keith’s back, moaning loudly, tugging on Keith’s hair. “F-fuck! Harder! Please I need-” Lance didn’t even get to finish when he felt Keith pushed Lance’s legs back and started to pound as hard as he could into Lance’s body. Delightfully ramming into Lance’s prostate over and over again.

It didn’t take long for Lance to cum and paint their stomachs white. Above him, Keith moaned, thrusted deep inside him a few more times and came. Lance shuddered slightly when he felt Keith pull out. He took off his condom and tossed it aside before he lied down next to Lance and held him close.

Lance hummed softly and snuggled up to him. “That was good.”

“It was.” He kissed Lance’s cheek and smiled at him. “So um… Are we dating now?”

“I think we are. Don’t you?”

Keith shrugged. “I’d like us to be, but I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do…”

Lance grinned and kissed him. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Bark!”

Both looked over to the door to see Kosmo walking down the hallway with a random toy in their mouth. “... I probably should have closed the door.” Muttered Keith.

“Yeah, next time… Unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Unless we happen to be outside.”

Keith blushed. “O-oh? Why would we-?”

“Because it’s your kink.” Said Lance. “Just because we’re a thing now doesn’t mean that we’re just going to fuck in bed. I want you to take me out to your favourite spot and fuck me.”

Keith blushed more and buried his face into Lance’s shoulder. “Fine… Just… Later… I want to hold you a bit longer.”

“Hmm, no complaints here.” Hummed Lance as he cuddled Keith.


	84. Knock out (Modern fantasy AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance just wants the gang to get healthy damn it... Also, the next chapter is very short, so it's going to be a double feature tonight. Kudos and comment when you can enjoy :D

Today was a holiday, and through Rachel’s connections, Lance was able to get Pidge, Hunk, Keith, and Shiro to go to the gym. Since it was just them none of them had to worry about their disguises. Lance had asked Allura, Lotor, and Krolia if they wanted to join in. Allura was waiting on a delivery, Lotor was still working minimum wage, and Krolia was babysitting Bae Bae.

Lance would have preferred them all there, but this was still good. He brought out the punching bags and got everyone some gloves. Lance was showing them how to throw punches properly. They were all giving it their best, but they tired out really quickly. About three minutes after warm up everyone was tired.

“Can we take a break?” Asked Hunk.

“Sure. I have some towels and bottles of water.” Lance happily handed everything out to everyone. “Take five. Time to rehydrate.”

“Your family sure knows a lot of people.” Said Keith. 

Lance shrugged. “My family’s really well connected in the health industry. My mama and papa know at least ten different specialists and doctors. My siblings know lots of different exercise places… Plus I think Rachel has a thing for young guys beating each other to a pulp… She is a big MMA and WWE fan...”

“Your sister is an interesting one.” Said Shiro.

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yep. But it’s thanks to her we were able to come here today, and have it all to ourselves. It’s a great opportunity too. I want you all to experience a variety of different sports. The exercise you guys have done so far is an important part of losing weight, but it’s also a good idea to take up a sport so you can have fun while exercising.”

“Like swimming?” Asked Hunk in a slightly mournful tone.

“... Look, I’m sorry the pool closed, but you gotta work with me here Hunk.” Said Lance.

Pidge frowned a little. “I’m running around to get food for me and Bae Bae. Good stuff. Not just the treats humans keep giving me.”

“That’s really good Pidge.” Said Lance. “And if you like doing that, that’s fine. But what I am talking about is doing a sport that you like to help you relax a little, and have fun. When you’re having fun you hardly know you’re exercising.”

“Well I guess that’s true.” Said Hunk. “I hardly felt like I was working out when I was swimming.”

“Exactly.” Lance clapped his hands. “Alright everyone. Break time is over. Time for some sparring.”

“Like a sauna?” Asked Hunk.

“What’s a sauna?” Asked Pidge.

Lance shook his head. “No, it’s not that. This is where you partner up and, without hurting your opponent, practice your form. We’ll take those skills I just taught you, like footwork and punching, and put them to the test.”

Keith nodded and put on his gloves. “Should we partner up together?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Said Lance as he put on his own gloves. “Since you guys are just beginners you’re all going to go up against me. I don’t want any of you getting injured.”

“Are you serious?” Asked Keith.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Asked Shiro.

Lance nodded. “I’ll be fine. I might not look it but I’ve made it my duty to try and be relatively skilled at most sporting activities. We’ll rotate. One person every three minutes. Want to go first Keith?”

“Huh? Oh okay.”

“Don’t focus on landing punches, but rather your defence.”

“Do you best!” Cheered Hunk.

“I’ll time you!” Said Pidge as she grabbed a stopwatch. 

As soon as she hit the start the two of them quickly started to spar. Keith was pretty good and landed a few firm punches, but Lance kept him on his toes by quickly moving left and right. Occasionally he bopped Keith’s face or nose to annoy the hell out of him. Thant just fired Keith up and he tried harder to hit Lance.

“That’s time!” Called Pidge.

As soon as she did, Keith collapsed to the floor, panting hard. “Holy fuck… It’s only been three minutes, but fuck… I’m tired.”

Lance chuckled. “Well you aren’t used to moving so quickly. Okay, you’re up next Hunk.”

“O-okay!” Squeaked the ork.

Hunk’s form was a little off, but he was trying really, really hard. He aimed a lot more for the chest and Lance let him land a few punches to gain some confidence. His punches were softer than he expected from an ork, but Hunk just wasn’t a very violent guy. Lance could respect that. When Pidge was up she was a much bigger fan of hook punches and uppercuts. She also was better at using her short stature against him and was able to duck and weave a lot faster than Keith or Hunk did. 

“Great work you guys.” Said Lance. “Now-” A loud crack echoed through the gym as a punching bag almost flew up and hit the ceiling. Lance froze and looked over at Shiro. The oni looked all fired up and ready to go.

“My turn now.” He almost growled. 

Lance suddenly remembered that he was a human and Shiro was an oni. It was like a snail trying to fight a shoe. He was going to get crushed. Smooshed. This was not how he wanted to die. If Shiro was gonna kill him he'd want to get smooshed between Shiro’s pecs. 

Thankfully, Keith quickly came to his defence. “Hey! Don’t actually hit him! You’ll literally punch his head off!”

Lance squeaked. “He’ll what?” Lance saw the blur of a black boxing glove and ducked out of the way with a shriek. SH-SHIRO!!!”

“Whoa, sorry Lance.” Said Shiro. “It was just a joke. A little oni joke. I wasn’t actually going to hit you.”

“... Nope!” Lance quickly hid behind Keith. “That hit was way too scary! Even as a joke a punch like that will kill me!”

Shiro seemed a little disappointed but understood. “Okay. Well, somebody else going to step up?”

Pidge shook her head. “Sorry Shiro. I’m a pack leader. Gotta stay alive for Bea Bea. If you hit me I’d turn into roadkill.”

“I don’t wanna die!” Cried Hunk as he pulled his arms over his head to save himself from the oni’s wrath.

Keith shook his head. “Shiro, you’re not even trying to spar. You just want to beat the shit out of something.” Shiro gasped in shock and tried to say something, but Keith cut him off. “You always take it too far. You fucking punched me into a lake when we were sparing back in our world. Twice. We were nowhere near the lake and you broke my ribs. I almost drowned. Also, I’m not going to be your partner either.”

“... Okay. I understand.” Shiro seemed pretty cut up by that and went back to punching a punching bag by himself. Though his punches were nowhere near as powerful as before.

Lance felt pretty bad for him. “I-I’m sorry Shiro, but you’re way more powerful than us. Like, clearly you would be stronger than us. You’re an oni, and we um… We just aren’t. I’d love someone just as strong as you to go up against you but… you know…”

“Oni are just so strong!” Said Hunk. “Like, you’re way stronger than all of us combined!”

“It’s okay guys, I get it.” Said Shiro quietly. “I’ll just practice my form…”

“Huh? Where are the trainers?”

Lance quickly looked over to see a rather tall man rocking one fine dad bod. If Lance was off the clock he probably would have hit on this total bear of a man, but he was busy. Also this man and his sexy gruff voice, and needed a damn brush. His hair was completely covering his eyes.

He walked over to him, quickly noticing he was way taller than Shiro, which was a feat. “Sorry man. The gym is closed for the holiday.”

“What? It’s a holiday today? Well shit.” They muttered. “I thought for sure it was open today…” He then noticed the quartet of mythical people standing behind Lance. “... Wait, then who are those people standing behind you?” None of them were hiding their features; Keith’s elf ears were out, Hunk’s pig ears, Pidge’s dog tail and ears, and the horns on Shiro’s forehead. Lance needed to think fast.

“Oh um… They are… W-we rented the place out for the holiday! Costume boxing!” That sounded plausible, right?

“Don’t bother.” Said Keith calmly. “Lance, this person is from our world too.”

“Huh?”

The man seemed surprised, then chuckled a little. “Well you caught me. Never thought I’d meet an elf here…” They pushed back their hair and revealed that they only had one eye. “I’m Sendak. I’m a cyclops.”

“Oh shit!” Squeaked Lance. “You know, I shouldn't be surprised by this anymore, but I still am.”

Keith shrugged. “Probably. Cyclops are the one-eyed members of the titan tribe. They are very good with their hands and many became master blacksmiths in our world. Krolia’s sword was made by a cyclops.”

“Really? That’s cool.”

“Yeah, but they have some interesting personalities…” Warned Keith. “They can either be calm and placid, or sadistic fucks. Let’s hope Sendak is the placid kind of cyclops…”

Sendak ended up talking with Pidge and Hunk. “So, you squirts are boxing?”

“Yeah.” Said Pidge. “We just started. Lance wants us to try it out to see if we like it.”

“How long have you been boxing?” Asked Hunk.

Sandak shrugged. “About a month. When I came here after the war it was just meant to be a holiday but well… I kind of got lazy and very inactive. No one needs the kind of weapons I can forge in this world, so I’m boxing to get back in shape. Kind of sucks though because no one wants to spar with me. Those weak humans are probably afraid of me.”

“Understandable.” Said Pidge. “The strength of a cyclops is no laughing matter.”

Suddenly Lance got an idea. “Sendak! My name is Lance.”

“Hello Lance.”

“Hi. So you don’t have a sparring partner, right? Because you’re a titan and so powerful?”

“That’s a fair assessment.”

“Then do I have the sparring partner for you!” Lance quickly led Sendak over to Shiro. “If you feel like it, how about you go up against Shiro? You’re both about the same build, so it should be a perfect fit.”

When the oni and cyclops caught each other’s gaze a heavy tension started to fill the air. It was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Both looked like they were eyeing the other up.

Keith quickly pulled Lance away from them. “Okay, you need to stop doing that right now.”

“Huh? Why?” Asked Lance. “Aren’t oni and cyclops both titans? They are perfect fighting partners.”

“That’s the problem.” Muttered Pidge. “Titan races really, really fucking love fighting, competing in tests of strength, and they hate losing. There are all kinds of crazy stories about them beating the shit out of each other for months at a time. Whole clans of titans will wipe each other out just to prove how strong they are.”

Keith nodded in agreement. “Shiro once fought an indestructible iron golem for two weeks straight to prove he was stronger. He only stopped when he fell asleep on his feet and the golem walked off.”

“... Seriously?”

“G-guy?” Squeaked Hunk nervously. “I think we’re too late to stop them…”

The titans were standing chest to chest, death glaring at each other. Neither of them willing to back down lest they show weakness. They both looked like they would snap at any second and kill each other.

Lance gulped. “Hang on! We’re just sparring here! This isn’t full contact! Don’t hurt yourselves by getting too competitive, please! There’s nothing wrong with holding back! Just don’t beat each other senseless!”

“Got it.” Growled Shiro.

“I’ll hold back.” Growled Sendak right back.

With that both titans started to punch each other in the face. It looked more like an all out brawl rather than sparring. Lance was pretty sure he saw a tooth flying through the air.

“Whoa! Stop! This isn’t what you’re meant to be doing!” Cried Lance.

Keith just sighed and put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Forget it. It’s no use. They’ll stop once they’ve had enough… Want to place bets on them?”

“What?!” He looked over at Pidge and Hunk who seemed to already be making bets on which titan was going to win. Lance sighed and looked over at the titans. “Well… At least they are getting some exercise…”


	85. Wagon (Monster and manna AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is a very, very short chapter and the second part of the double upload tonight. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With the wind in their hair and the outpost behind them, Pike sighed contently and leaned back in the wagon. They had been given a new quest to travel to the next outpost to deliver supplies. Meklavar and Shiro were taking turns driving the wagon. Block attempted to make friends with the horses, but he ended up getting headbutted and ignored. Thundar was was taking a break while Pike and Valayun didn’t even bother trying to see if they could befriend the horses.

Pike hummed a little as he watched Block and Thundar play some game on the back of a supply crate. While they were distracted Pike was working with Valayun to make arrowheads. She was a lot better at it than Pike was, obviously, but Pike wanted to get better at it.

“You’re doing pretty well.” Said Valayun. 

“Thanks.”

“Why did you want to learn how to make arrowheads anyway?”

Pike glanced over to Thundar. He was still engrossed in this game with Block. “No reason…”

She looked over at Thundar and chuckled. “Ah, okay. Well, I’m pretty sure that he isn’t going to be very happy to be called no reason.”

Pike rolled his eyes and lightly nudged her arm. “Hush up Val… I know I’m the cool ninja and everything, but I want to be able to make stuff for Thundar too instead of just stealing them...”

“I’m sure he will appreciate it… Though I have a feeling you aren’t buying him arrows so you keep more money…”

“... You know, you don’t have to say it like that.” Muttered Pike. “But yeah, it’s true… I want to buy him something really nice one day. Maybe some armor? A new cape? … An earring? Something nice.”

“Lance, you know Thundar does not care for trinkets like that.”

“I know, but I want him to have something nice because I like him… And he hasn’t grown up with nice stuff like most of us. I want him to have something nice.”

She smiled and put her hand on Pike’s. “I know… If you like, I can help you make a leather hand. I have a few strips and some beads we can thread onto it.”

“That would be awesome. Thanks Valayun.”

Suddenly Meklavar pulled on the reins and slowed them all to a complete stop. “Whoa there.” She said.

“What’s up Meklavar?” Asked Block.

Their berserker pointed off into the distance. “There’s something over there… I think. I think I saw some smoke or like, a small flash of light.”

Thundar frowned and squinted off in the direction they were pointing. “... Kobolds. Ten of them… Maybe more.”

Shiro frowned. “There’s probably a dungeon nearby. They don’t usually come out during the day like this.”

“Should we take care of them now?” Asked Valayun while she reddied her bow.

“Thay could be friendly.” Said Block. “We have met a few friendly Kobold’s before back in the Emerald city.”

“I can stealth a little closer?” Suggested Pike.

“Good idea.” Said Block. “Take this.” He passed Pike a listening stone. A rock they could use to listen in on other conversations, but they couldn’t talk through. Block could translate most languages but he wasn’t very stealthy.

Pike grabbed the stone and very carefully stealthed his way over towards the kobolts. He stayed low and held the stone out. The kobolts talked in their hisses and growls for a fair few minutes before Pike quickly headed back to the wagon.

“All good?”

“The Kobold's are moving treasure to their new nest. Apparently it’s guarded by a red dragon.” Said Block. “So they are moving lots of gold and gems there.”

“... Gems?” Asked Pike as his eyes lit up.

Meklavar rolled her eyes. “Is it anywhere near where we need to go?”

“It’s a little out of the way, but we could find it on the way back.”

Thundar frowned. “Yeah, this is probably something we should deal with. Having a red dragon around is probably not a good idea.”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “Yeah, red dragons aren’t good to have around… Could cause some trouble for everyone in the future… Alright team, all in favour of finding the red dragon after we hit the outpost?”

“I’m in.” Said Meklavar.

“Me too.” Said Valayun.

“Heck yeah!” Said Pike.

“Sounds fun.” Said Thundar.

“All opposed?” Asked Shiro.

“Me…” Muttered Block. “Red dragons are scary.”

Shiro frowned a little. “Well, maybe if we talk to the people at the outpost we might be able to get some supplies to take down the red dragon. Sound fair?”

Block frowned a little and nodded. “Yeah, I guess that’s okay…”

Pike laughed and wrapped his arm around Block’s shoulder. “Come on man, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I think I left it at the last outpost…”

Meklavar grinned and nudged him. “Don’t be like that. We;ll drop the supplies off and go slay the dragon. It’ll be fun.”

***

Coran yawned loudly. “Oh dear. Sorry Paladin’s, and Princess. I think I might be coming down with something… Might have picked something up when we were on Bictroy7 the other movement.”

“Do you need some assistance going to the medbay?” Asked Allura.

“I’d appreciate that.” Said Coran as he stood up. “Now remember where we are and what we are doing. Outpost and then the dragon.”

Everyone agreed and started to pack things up. But Lance suddenly paused. “Wait… How does Coran know what dragons are anyway?”

Hunk and Pidge grinned. “We’ve been showing Coran some earth monsters.” Said Hunk. “We were talking to him about dragons and fairies. Coran was interested in incorporating some Earth creatures into the campaign.”

“We told him a lot about mythological creatures and different religious figures.” Said Pidge.

Keith frowned. “Does this mean we’re going to fight Jesus at some point?”

Shiro face palmed. “Please tell me we aren’t going to fight Jesus.”

“I’m going to fight Jesus.” Said Keith.

Lance snickered. “... Wait, did you introduce Coran to Catholosisim and all the saints?”

“... New campaign idea!” Said Pidge. “Voltron verses the Catholics!”

“As long as I can punch Jesus I don’t care.” Said Keith.


	86. Dinner (POTO AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys continue to be adorable dorks. Like they are in pretty much every AU lol. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

For the hundredth time that week Keith contemplated posting his covers online. Shiro and Lance liked his voice, so maybe other people would too? Maybe… But then again he was pretty sure that strangers would just rip into him and let him know how shitty he actually sounded. He sighed and shut off his computer. He’d think more about it tomorrow.

Suddenly his phone started to buzz. Keith was a little surprised. Usually Adam and Shiro wouldn’t bother texting him unless something big happened. He quickly looked over the text and was surprised to see that it was Lance.

**Lance**   
_Entertain me._

**Keith**   
_???_

**Lance**   
_I am booooooerd_   
_Today is like the second last rehearsal before the curtain drops and Coran’s making us stay late!_   
_I finished all my stuff!_   
_My feet hurt!_   
_(╯ ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)╯┻━┻_

Keith rolled his eyes and rolled onto his stomach. Of course Lance was texting him because he was bored and his feet hurt. How was he meant to entertain him? Send him gifs? But then again, why should he entertain Lance?

**Keith**   
_And how is this my problem?_

**Lance**   
_Because I am making it your problem_   
_( ‾ʖ̫‾)_   
_So you’re on night duty tonight?_   
_Want me to swing by when you finish up?_   
_We can get dinner together :D_   
_Do you like Japanese food? I know this awesome place where you order everything on an iPad. Never have to talk to someone unless it’s to get seated or to get the bill._

Keith could feel a small ball of anxiety settling in his stomach. Lance wanted to have dinner with him. But Keith didn’t go out to have dinner anywhere. Ever. He couldn;t talk to anyone. Everyone would hate him. The waiters would judge him. They would want him to leave right away. But if the place was really a place where you could order everything on an iPad then maybe could?

**Keith**   
_Shiro is Japanese._

**Lance**   
_So… Is that a no?_   
_Yes?_   
_Maybe?_

**Keith**   
_I like Japanese food._   
_How the fuck do you type so fast?!_

**Lance**   
_It is a gift._   
_So you want to have dinner with me?_   
_:D_

**Keith**   
_Yes_

**Lance**   
_ʢ◉ᴥ◉ʡ_

What the actual fuck was that emoji? Was Keith so out of touch with everything that he didn’t know what it was? Was it positive? Negative? He had no idea. It looked like it was just staring into his soul.

**Keith**   
_What the fuck does that even mean?_

**Lance**   
_ʢ◉ᴥ◉ʡ_

**Keith**   
_Changed my mind._   
_I’m going straight home after work_

**Lance**   
_\\(@ᗝ@)/_   
_NOOOO!_   
_I was just joking!_   
_Please have dinner with me!_   
_Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!_

**Keith**   
_JFC Fine!_

He could just imagine Lance’s stupid puppy dog eyes just begging him to go out to dinner with him. Lance invited him to dinner, and Keith said yes. Oh lord he was going to go on a date with Lance. No, not really. He wasn’t going on a date with Lance. He was just going to hang out with him. Just friends having dinner

**Lance**   
_Yay!_   
_(づᵔ ³ᵔ)づ_   
_I’ll be at the theater around 8:30pm_

**Keith**   
_Okay_

**Lance**   
_See you there!_   
_Talk to you later. Coran’s talking now._

Keith stared at his phone for what felt like forever. He had no idea what to do now. He was going to meet up with Lance for dinner. This had to be just a friend thing. Totally not a date. Right? No, this was just a friend thing. Keith didn’t really have friends so this was all really new to him. He sighed and quickly texted Shiro.

**Keith**   
_I think I might be going on a date with Lance?_

**Shiro**   
_Really?_   
_That’s awesome!_

**Keith**   
_Thanks._   
_I don’t think it’s actually a date though?_   
_We’re going out for dinner after I finish work tonight_

**Shiro**   
_What?_   
_No! You’re not working tonight!_   
_You’re spending the rest of the day getting ready for your date/friend dinner thing!_   
_This is a big deal!_   
_Enjoy getting ready Keith!_

**Keith**   
_?????_   
_Shiro?_   
_What the fuck?_   
_..._   
_Are you ignoring me?!_   
_You get back here you one armed bitch!_   
_Don’t you leave me on read!_

***

Lance happily stood outside the theater as he waited for Keith. He thought going to that Japanese restaurant with the iPads was a good start with him. Minimal human interaction and the food was fucking amazing. 

He was waiting for Keith to show up. He hoped that Keith still wanted to go and wasn’t going to back out. He looked up at the door and at the fence. Would Keith bring a change of clothes? Maybe. He kind of hoped so. His work overalls did kind of smell like chemicals… But if he didn’t have a change of clothes that was okay. As long as Keith was comfortable that’s all that mattered.

He looked back at the fence and saw Keith. He was wearing a red crop top jacket with one hell of a popped collar, a black shirt, skinny jeans, and boots. Keith also tied his hair back into a low ponytail. He looked good.

“Oh hey Keith. Not working today?” Asked Lance. Keith shook his head and quickly shot him a text.

**Keith**   
_Shiro told me to take the day off._

“Cool, well let’s get to my car and I’ll drive us there.” Said Lance. Keith nodded in agreement and they got into Lance’s car. He let Keith pick the radio station as they drove. Keith seemed to like the stations that played techno music. Not something Lance would listen to unless he was at a club, but he could respect it.

They eventually got to the restaurant and were lucky enough to get a table a little tucked away from everyone else. Keith seemed to like this and relaxed a little as he looked at the iPad. It took him a few moments before he handed it over to Lance, and Lance quickly ordered what he usually ordered.

He looked over the order and smiled at what Keith ordered. “Tsukimi soba? That’s the one with the raw egg in it, right?” Keith nodded and took his phone out.

**Keith**   
_Yes. Shiro tries to make it in autumn but he isn’t that good at cooking_   
_He can make the noodles for soba, but when it comes to cooking it, it either burns or turns into one matted mess._

“Ah, sounds kind of bad. But at least he’s trying?”

**Keith**   
_True. Adam takes care of most of the cooking._

Keith looked at the food that was getting cooked and hummed a little when he saw what Lance had ordered. Lance was glad to see his choices seemed to be Keith approved.

**Keith**   
_Are you going to eat all the gyoza and takoyaki yourself?_

“Nah, that’s for sharing.” Said Lance. “Whenever I come here with my sisters or with Pidge we get a lot of that stuff.” He poured both himself and Keith some water. “I hope you like pork gyoza.”

Keith happily nodded and gestured to the iPad again. Lance gestured for him to go ahead and do what he wanted. Keith ordered edamame. Lance didn’t usually eat those beans, but he was more than happy to let Keith do what he wanted.

The edamame, gyoza and takoyaki came out first. The two of them happily snacked on each thing. Lance burnt his mouth on a takoyaki. Keith snickered at him and burnt his mouth on a gyoza. They were both fools but Lance was having fun. Even if conversation was a little sparse with Keith at the moment, it was fun. Just being around the mute man made Lance feel happy. He hoped that Keith felt the same way too.

They got their ramen and soba relatively quickly after they burned the hell out of their mouths. Keith seemed very content to eat his food. It was a lot different from when they were at the food court and Keith could hardly eat his own food.

Lance eventually started to talk a little bit about the theater and how he things were going. “There’s like, only two more days until we start performing. Ah, I’m so excited… Hope I don’t screw it up…”

**Keith**   
_Don’t doubt yourself._   
_You’re very good._

Lance smiled as he read the texts. “Aw thanks Keith. You’re really sweet.” Keith blushed a little and quickly ate some more of his soba. “Aw, don’t be like that Keith… Keith? I’m really glad you came out with me.” That made the other pause and gave him a confused look. “Like, I was pretty sure you would tell me that you were too tired to come out or that you just didn’t want to. I would have been perfectly okay if you didn’t want to, but yeah… I’m glad that you came out here with me.

Keith paused for a moment and quickly typed out something on his phone, but hesitated sending it. He kept glancing up at Lance and then back at his own screen. He looked like he was having some kind of internal struggle before he finally hit send, before he quickly looked away. Lance looked down at his phone and was kind of stunned when he looked down at the message.

**Keith**   
_Is this a date?_

Lance didn’t really know what to say to that. He kind of wanted it to be a date. He had an interest in Keith, but he didn’t know if Keith wanted that too. Keith looked kind of hopeful but also kind of scared. Lance wasn’t too sure what to say.

“Um… It all depends…” He muttered. Keith gave him a confused look and signed something that Lance interpreted him as Keith asking him to explain himself. “... Are you gay?”

Keith frowned a little and nodded. He quickly took out his phone.

**Keith**   
_Yes. Is that bad?_

“What? No Keith. Of course not.” Said Lance quickly. He reached over the table and quickly grabbed Keith’s hand before quickly letting it go. “Sorry! I um… What I mean is… I’m bisexual. I like you… Do you like me?”

The man sitting across from him went bright red and quickly texted something before putting the phone down and put his face in his hands. He looked like he was ready for the world to swallow him whole.

**Keith**   
_I like you too._

Lance grinned from ear to ear. Poor Keith was still too embarrassed to look at him. This was now officially a date in Lance’s mind. A relatively successful one too. He picked up the iPad and quickly ordered a little dessert for the two of them. Keith peeked out from between his fingers and stared at Lance. He looked mildly concerned.

“Oh, do you want a... what’s it called? Daifuku aisu? I think they are mochi ball things? They do strawberry stuff. It’s nice.” Said Lance. “And strawberries are something you like, right?”

Keith smiled slightly and nodded. It was cute. They happily finished the rest of their food and then their dessert when it came. They split the bill and walked back to Lance’s car. Lance let Keith pick the radio station again and Keith picked a station that was playing Spanish pop songs.

Lance happily sang along to them in his native tongue. In the quieter parts he heard Keith humming along. He wasn’t sure if Keith knew a lick of Spanish, but he could still enjoy the music. He wanted to ask Keith more about his music and if he could send him more sound files. Hell, he wanted to know why Keith had such anxiety about performing in front of everyone.

They pulled up in front of Keith’s house and Keith quickly texted Lance.

**Keith**   
_Thank you._   
_I had a really good time_

“I’m glad you had fun.” Said Lance. “We should do it again. Like, when the musical is over… We’re having a big after party at this all you can eat buffet place. Like, I’m sure if I talk to Coran about it he would be more than happy to make sure that there’s a place for you too.”

**Keith**   
_I work after the show is over_   
_I’ll be working most of the night._

“Oh… Really? You can’t do it tomorrow?”

**Keith**   
_I’m scheduled to work that night. Sorry._

“Oh… Well that’s okay… We can still hang out after, right?” Asked Lance. “We’re boyfriend’s now.”

Keith paused for a moment and nodded. He looked happy but still kind of embarrassed. He awkwardly reached over and gently squeezed his hand. It was nice and Lance squeezed back. This was nice. Keith suddenly looked down at his phone and sighed.

**Keith**   
_Shiro’s asking when I’m coming inside._

Lance chuckled a little and smiled. “It’s fine. I’ll text you when I’m free.”

Keith nodded and got out of the car. Before he closed the door he leaned in and awkwardly kind of stared at him for a while. “G-goodnight Lance.” He quickly closed the door and practically ran back inside.

Lance just sat there in shock. “Goodnight Keith.” He was about to pull out onto the road when he froze. Keith just spoke to him.


	87. Entrail soup (Monster AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some more monster stuff. Just a tiny warning, there is a slightly graphic autopsy scene. It isn't too graphic, but there is a lot of body horror in this chapter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After the failed talk with Krolia, Shiro was just left with papers, audio tapes, and some videos. It was disturbing to say the least. A lot of information was new to him since he had only just been granted access. From everything he had collected he formulated a basic plan to track and observe Keith. After that they would formulate a proper plan.

He emailed his plan to Sendak and within an hour there was an email sent out to everyone working on project Pupa and the sister project making suppressants to placate the Pupa test subject. Shiro was shocked to learn that there would be a presentation with a contract security force before the end of the day.

Sure he could see the urgency to get this under control as quickly as possible, but things could turn extremely deadly for everyone if things weren’t done perfectly. People from the town could find out. A lot of people could die.

Shiro went to the briefing room with several other scientists, some security personnel and the new contracted security. He sat down in a seat up the front and waited to see what Sendak was going to say.

When everyone was settled in Sendak happily stood in front of them looking much more smug than usual. That was never good. Shiro knew this was going to end with him feeling sick after.

“Glad you could all make it.” Said Sendak. “As you would have seen on the email we have hired some outside help after the little incident we had the other week. Now, the main reason I wanted you all here today is to let you all know we have a handle on the situation and we are going to safely secure and contain the subject.”

“Just one test subject?” Asked one of the new security personnel. “Isn’t it a little much hiring us for this?” Some of the others snickered.

Sendak ignored them. “The test subject, for the dumbasses that know fucking nothing about what we are doing appears to be a twenty year old male of Asian descent. He doesn’t know how to use any tools more advanced than a rock or a tree branch.”

“Then how is he a threat?” Asked more of the security personnel.

Sendak rolled his eyes. “Alright shit for brains. I’m pretty sure you’re the the kind of Einstein that thinks a Death Adder can’t kill you because the fucking snake doesn’t have arms? Maybe you think you’re an immortal that can’t die from something like rabies or cancer because those things can’t hold a fucking gun? If that’s your fucking attitude go and take a cyanide pill and piss off. We don’t need your filth here and we can get another group of mercenaries to help us out. You fuckers are expendable.”

The tension was now high in the room. Shiro could feel it. Sendak was going to get into some kind of fight with them, and then he would have to write a report explaining why Sendak put a bunch of people in the hospital again. He fucking hated paperwork.

Sendak chuckled. “It’s that shitty attitude that can get you killed.” They took a remote out of their pocket and pressed a button. A projection screen started to lower. “Yeah, he might look like one man, but we are fucking serious about this guy being a fucking killer. You might laugh at us when we say you can only shoot him at long range with a dart. No ammunition or anything that will open up his body. So we’re going to show you the reason why you don’t fucking open up K-P1.” 

They hit another button and stepped aside to show their hired guns an old video that Shiro knew all too well. It made him feel sick. He’d seen that video before. He didn’t want to see it again, but he was right up the front and was going to get looks if he suddenly stood up and left.

Shiro read the text in the corner just to clarify that this really was the tape he thought it was; K-P1 Autopsy 1. Yes. It was the tape Shiro dreaded. It was… Disgusting.

After a few seconds an operating theater came into view. There were three doctors in scrubs standing around a table where a small child was secured to a table with strips of metal bolted down to the table.

The doctors muttered amongst themselves before the main doctor cleared their throat and spoke up. _“Alright this is Dr. Albert Berkin. Here assisting me today is Dr. Alice Valentine and Dr Eathan Baker. We’re going to be performing a so-called, “exploratory autopsy” on test subject K-P1.”_ They looked over at one of the doctors and held out their hand. _“Scalpel.”_

Dr Valentine handed them a scalpel and they quickly made a Y incision into their skin. They hummed a little as they did so. _“Subject’s blood appears to be blue-green. Hinting at a lack of hemoglobin. This is strange because their blood usually tends to be a much richer and deeper almost purple colour…”_

_“I’ll get a sample.”_ Said one of the other doctors as they got a syringe and quickly filled it.

When the sample was collected the doctors pulled pack the flaps of skin. Dr Baker gasped in slight shock.

Dr Berkin chuckled. _“Yes the insides of this Pupa are very similar to that of a real pupa; soft, gooey, and almost nothing special if seen in any other context. You could get a ladle and serve this up as soup and no one would know.”_ They cleared their throat. _“Subject K-P1’s internal organs are a lot more liquid that previous test subject J-P1.”_ They picked up a probe and collected a small bit of their entrails onto it. It stretched out like thick slime. _“Hmm, the consistency is more like a thick mud.”_

If anyone was paying attention to anything other than Dr. Berkin, they probably would have noticed the slight twitching in their subject’s hands and feet. The doctors continued to prod around his insides, talking about how he didn’t seem to have any distinct organs, bones, or circulatory system inside themselves. They theorised how they might function and are still alive even when it didn’t look physically possible.

K-P1 started screaming and trying to pull himself free. But he couldn’t. He was stuck in place while the doctors just looked annoyed. _“Despite giving the test subject enough anesthesia to knock out an elephant the subject’s metabolism is extremely fast. It was only given to him about five minutes before bringing him in here…”_ He sighed a little and glared down at the other doctors. _“Would someone shut that thing up?”_

One of the doctors grabbed a hammer and brought it down hard on Keith’s head. Not once. Not twice. But three times. Each crack of the hammer made Shiro shiver. Eventually his screams pittered out to a small whimper.

_“Much better.”_ Said Dr Berkin. He sighed and gestured over to some jars on a bench. _“Bring those over and we’ll start really collect his entrails for further analysis.”_

Shiro’s eyes were firmly on the floor by now. He hated how this was going, and he hated knowing what was going to happen next. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to hear it. But he couldn’t leave.

_“Dr. Berkin? What’s that?”_ Asked Dr. Valentine. They gestured to something in the body with a probe.

Dr. Berkin got his own probe and poked at something inside Keith’s body. He carefully fished it to the surface and twirled it around the probe, pulling it out. It was hard to see what it was on the recording, but the doctor seemed happy enough to describe it.

_“Subject appears to have some kind of thin, tendril-like muscle covered in small calcified lumps… Some of them look like tiny teeth… Something you would probably find in a small carnivore. Like a shrew? I-”_ Before they could finish their sentence, the tendril lashed out and ripped open Dr. Berkin’s throat.

The next few seconds were thrown into absolute chaos as dozens of more tendrils exploded out of Keith’s body. The camera was knocked over at the visuals cut out, but the audio was still there. There was a lot of screaming. The screaming just wouldn’t stop. It only stopped when Sendak hit the pause button.

“Now it took a while, but eventually we were able to get the visuals up and running again after an hour.” Said Sendak with a sick smirk on his face. “Now this, this is the reason we want you to never, ever cause it any physical injury where you split them open.”

He hit play and fast forwarded until the visuals came back. The camera had been knocked onto a table and the feed flickered a little, but was clear what was in front of them and it was disgusting. Almost all the equipment in the room had been knocked over and smashed. The doctors laid about in various degrees of decapitation and dismemberment. Most of the bodies were covered by a thick layer of greenish-blue organic matter. In the far corner, taking up most of the wall was a growth that looked like a flower bud made of flesh.

Sendak paused the video and used a laser pointer to gesture to the bud and the bodies. “I’d like you all to take note of these particular places as I fast forward over the next few hours at triple speed.”

He hit fast forward and everyone watched as the greenish-blue flesh broke down and absorbed the human bodies. As it did so the flesh started to change to a more red and purple hue. When it made its way to the bud as it violently twitched and swayed as it swelled.

As this grotesque visual happened Sendak continued to talk. “After this ordeal when we went to clean up we found that there were no organic components left in the room. K-P1 absorbed all living matter around them and into this self rejuvenating form we’ve dubbed the Hell Flower. An almost fungus-like organism that breaks down everything and makes it their own. After three hours the Hell Flower finally opened up.”

He fast forwarded to the part where the petals of the Hell Flower peeled open. Right in the center of the flower was Keith, but only his head and torso were visible. Everything else was still melded into the flower. Slowly Keith’s body was getting pushed out of the flower and when about half of him was out, Sendak paused the video again.

“You might want to note that the body of the Hell Flower is starting to decay at the edges as the bodies of its prey are used to regenerate K-P1’s body.” 

He hit fast forward again and stopped it when the small child finally fell out of the flower and the flower crumbled away and decayed into a dehydrated dust. Sendak happily hit pause again. He smirked smugly at his audience.

“That. That insatiable meat eater absorbs anything and everything that’s organic in its wake.” He happily gestured to his audience. “Now, just imagine you fucking morons slash or shoot them in the side. How far do you think their body will erupt and absorb everything? How many of you will it eat? One? Three? All of you? All we did was cut it open and it absorbed three people to fix itself. It was only five when this happened! Three bodies to restore a five year old! When they were returned to their room they slept for a week. Sleeping off their meal.”

Everyone was quiet for a few minutes before Honerva stood up. “Well I think that’s enough when it comes to scaring them. May I speak now?”

“Be my guest.”

Honerva took the remote off of Sendak and hit a button. A more up to date photo of Keith appeared next to a picture of Keith in his monster form. “Now you will want to come across him while K-P1 looks human. His monster form is known as K-P2. K-P1 is dangerous, but K-P2 is a completely different breed. It’s unstoppable in its second form and simply injecting the subject with the serum will not stop it. When in its second form the best way to subdue it would be to inject yourself with the serum and let it eat you. You would die but it would force K-P2 back into K-P1.”

“What does the serum do?” Asked someone in the back.

Honerva smiled. “Glad you asked. The serum will not knock K-P1 out. Just force him into his human form. He’ll be stuck in his human form for several hours and unable to change back. You will then catch them and bring them back. K-P1 only changes into K-P2 for two reasons; they believe they are in danger, or they are hungry.” 

There were a few murmurs among the people talking. Everyone that wasn’t a scientist were talking about how it still seemed impossible for Keith to actually exist. However, Honerva ignored them and continued to talk.

“Now, there is actually someone else you should know about.” She hit a button and showed the group a candid photo of a young man around Keith’s age. Dark brown hair, blue eyes, tanned skin. Possibly hispanic? “This is a Generator. A Generator is an individual given excessive amounts of EX_773A as a child and, as a result, naturally produces EX_773A.”

“So what?” Asked someone. “Shouldn’t we just grab the guy and let the monster eat them while we take them down?”

“Would you let me finish?” Snapped Honerva. “As I was about to explain, a Generator has a few interesting quirks that we’ve only ever been able to see in lab settings but as of now are unknown in the field. For example they rapidly regenerate their own biomass after being bitten by one of these Pupa. An enzyme in the saliva of a Pupa activates and promotes regeneration in a Generator. The enzymes also produce endorphins. This helps form a bond between a Generator and the Pupa. It also helps that injecting an infant with EX_773A soon after birth kills all pain receptors in the body. It gives the illusion of CIPA. This Generator has made contact with K-P1. They have already started to bond.”

“So if we find this Generator we’ll find your monster?”

“In theory. We have only observed the relationships between Pupa and Generators in lab rats.” Said Honerva. “The Generator and Pupa rats would go about their business and normal until the Pupa rat became hungry. After which the Generator rat would lie next to them and let the Pupa feed off of them until they were full. We don’t know if K-P1 will eventually take the Generator hostage but just doesn’t have the means to do so right now since the Generator is still walking freely… Though it would be interesting to see what measures a Pupa will use to keep their food with them… Now, shall we go into detail about the plan?”

***

Lance continued to visit Keith. He’d quickly memorised the way to and from the monster’s cabin and every time he turned up Keith seemed genuinely surprised he had come back. Lance was surprised too. He was just there. It was really, really fucked up.

Either way Lance was there for him and let Keith eat the muscles on his arms and shoulders. Lance was surprised at how delicate Keith was being with him. No matter how many times he told Keith that he couldn’t feel any pain, Keith brushed him off and continued his delicate eating.

During one of these small feeding sessions Lance gently patted Keith’s face to get his attention. “Keith?”

“Hmm?” They pulled back wiping the blood off their mouth. “What is it?”

“... You haven’t been ripping into me like when you did when we first met.”

Keith shrugged. “You’ve been coming here every day so I can eat every day. It’s different from when I was there…” He chuckled a little. “I was a bit of a fussy eater and everyone would get mad at me when I didn’t eat whatever they gave me… They would starve me until I would just eat whatever they threw in front of me. I don’t have to do that with you here… It’s kind of nice. You taste really good.”

“Thanks, I think?” He looked away as he felt Keith sink his teeth into his shoulder. He kept his eyes on the ceiling. It looked like Keith was fixing the hole that was there. “Are you planning to stay here for a while?”

“I guess? I mean, I don’t really know where I can go where I won’t kill humans.” Said Keith. “Are there many humans out there?”

“... We pretty much live on every continent on the planet.”

“Ah…”

“There might be an island or something with a lot of pigs you could live on?” Lance didn’t know too much about geography but he was pretty sure there were a few islands out in the Pacific inhabited by nothing but pigs. Keith might be happy there.

“... They talked about an island.”

“Yeah?”

Keith nodded as he sunk his teeth into his bicep. “Where I was they talked a few times about an island… I didn’t really understand what they were talking about. I was really young. I don’t know what they were talking about… I think I came from an island or maybe my parents did? I didn’t understand really… Everyone always talked about me and not to me… Unless giving me directions. Shiro was nice to me though.”

“It’s okay… You don’t have to think about that place again.” Said Lance calmly. “Can you tell me about Shiro? You seem to really like the guy.” Lance had learned over the past few feedings that Keith didn’t really like to talk about himself that much, but he would mention things from his past like that Shiro guy. If Keith didn’t want to talk he’d take a bigger bite. 

Today Keith seemed to be in a talkative mood. “Shiro was… He was a scientist. That’s what he said he was. He was younger than the others there and he was… He was nice to me. He would just talk to me. He talked to me about my books and answered my questions when he could.”

“He sounds really nice.”

“Yeah, he was…” Keith suddenly got very sad. “I miss him a lot. I wasn’t allowed to see him after I ate his arm.”

“... You ate his arm?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… I was hungry. Really hungry. I wasn’t allowed to eat for a week and I bit his hand… I ripped it off and I… I couldn’t stop. Just couldn’t stop. I would have eaten him all if… I don’t know if Shiro is still alive… He probably hates me now and is scared of me… Like everyone else.”

Lance held Keith’s hand and gently squeezed. “He isn’t… I-I’m sure if he knew you he would understand why you ate him.”

“I don’t think so. Humans aren’t okay with being eaten.”

“Yeah… Normal humans…” Muttered Lance. “I might not be able to make it out tomorrow. It’s the weekend so I’m going to be out with my friends.”

“Oh… Okay. I’ll be fine. I still need to fix my roof.”

“Yeah. It could rain and that would suck.”

“What’s rain?”

“... Water falling from the sky.”

Keith frowned a little. “Like a shower?”

“Kind of, but it’s cold.”

Keith nodded but continued to frown. “I see… That would be bad.”

“Yeah. Have you finished eating?” Asked Lance. Keith nodded and started to wipe away the blood at the locations of Lance’s rapidly healing bite marks. Once he was clean Lance pulled his shirt back on and headed out. “See you soon.”

“Y-yeah. Come back soon?”

“I will.” Lance waved goodbye to Keith and headed back to his house. It took him about ten minutes to walk from Keith’s cabin to his house. When he got home his mama was quick to scold him for being out later than he said he was going to be.

“I don’t want you out so late. What were you even doing?” She scolded. Go wash up and come sit down for dinner.”

“Yes mama.” Lance headed to the bathroom to wash his hands. As he dried he happened to see Rachel standing in the doorway. “Need the bathroom?” 

“Nah, just seeing if you’re okay.” She said. “You kind of… You’ve been kind of quiet over the past few days.”

“I saw dead bodies Rachel.” Muttered Lance. “It’s a little hard to act all cheerful after that.”

“I know… But maybe you should just come home after school instead? Instead of doing what you’re-”

“I was with Hunk and Pidge.”

“I saw them both at the bakery today and asked them where you were. They said you were at home.”

“... Oh.”

“Yeah.” She sighed and crossed her arms. “Look Lance, if you just want to sit around by yourself in some quiet place, we’re okay with that. We understand that. We just want to know where you are. Especially mama, you know how she can get.”

“I know…” He sighed and shook his head. “She really worries about me too much.”

“She can’t help it. Also, she’s going to be badgering you about all that MRI and X-ray stuff tomorrow.”

“Huh?”

“Mama organised that for you to do tomorrow. Should take up most of the morning.”

Lance sighed heavily. “So I can’t sleep in huh?”

“Nope.”

“Fun…” Lance walked down to the kitchen to have dinner with his parents. His mama had made ropa vieja, which normally Lance loved, but today it tasted kind of weird. He ignored the delicious pork and just ate the rice. The meat just tasted funny to him. “Hey mama? Did you use different spices or something?”

“No? Is something wrong mijo?” She asked.

Lance shrugged. “No. It just tastes a little weird to me… I don’t know why.”

“Brain tumour.” Said Rachel. “You hit your head and now your sense of taste is all messed up.”

“Don’t joke about that hija.” Said their dad. “Lance, eat your food. Don’t waste it.”

“Yes papa…” Lance put some of the pork on his fork and ate it. It still tasted off to him, but he ate it anyway to make his mama happy… Even if it made him feel a little sick. It tasted kind of soapy and rotten.


	88. I am courting you (Royal AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neither of them really get what this whole "courting" thing is about... There needs to be more communication between their species damn it. But these boys are trying... Kind of... They are both so dumb... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

That evening Lance had made his way into Yurak’s office to read the books he had borrowed. He was having trouble reading some of the words, but it wasn’t that difficult. If he could read and write Ancient Altaic he could master modern day Galran… or so he thought. A lot of their letters looked the same and they changed depending on what letters were paired next to each other. It was pretty crazy.

“Are you okay?” Asked Yurak from his desk. The young Duke had a few things he needed to sign and send off before the end of the night.

“Just reading… Your alphabet is a little hard.” Confessed Lance.

“Just wait until you get to names and titles. I have five names.”

Lance frowned and looked up at him. “Five names?”

“Yep. Well, some of them have titles attached to it but I am; Yurak, Duke Yurak of Verpzar, Yurak the head taker, Yurak son of Akira the reaper of souls, and… um… The name only my lover can know and call me by.”

“... Why do you have so many names?” Asked Lance.

Yurak shrugged. “Yurak is the name I am known by. Duke Yurak of Verpzar is what the people know me by. Yurak the head taker is what I was known as when I fought during the war. Akira the reaper of souls is what my father was known as, so I am his son. Before I was part of the army when you’re introduced to someone you’re introduced as the son or daughter of your primary caregiver. My mother was away for most of my childhood but I would have been known as Yurak son of Krolia the decapitator if she stayed.”

“... Your parents are scary.” Muttered Lance. “But what about that other name? The secret name?”

“All Galra have a secret name.” Said Yurak. “... We have secret names that our lovers know about. It’s special and intimate. It’s a name we choose for ourselves and only share with our lovers on our wedding night.”

“Oh?” That was kind of a surprise to Lance. They didn’t have this kind of naming or title convention back on Altea. 

“Yeah.” Yurak stamped a few more papers. “... The only ones that know my secret name are Shiro and my parents. And that’s because it’s normal for Galra to talk to their parents about their secret names. Shiro just found out because he found the paper I was brainstorming ideas on. Bastard.”

Lance snickered a little. “Did you swear him to secrecy?”

“Damn right I did.” Grumbled Yurak. “I made him tell me his secret name too since he found out mine.”

“Is it really that big of a deal?”

“It is.” Yurak started to put his papers away. “Like Alteans we do have traditions that we stick to and we will fight for. It might seem silly to you but-”

“I don’t think it’s silly.” Said Lance. “It’s just different.” He smiled at Yurak. “It’s okay. I find it interesting. So your lover gets to know your secret name?”

“Yeah…” Yurak got up from his desk and frowned a little. “What do Altean’s do? If you don’t have a name to give your lover, then what do you do?”

“Sex mostly.”

Yurak’s fur puffed up slightly. “Oh… Okay… Altean’s don’t mate for life I take it?”

“No. Do Galra?”

Yurak shrugged. “Mostly, but we have a few exceptions. Such as a spouse dies and in cases of abuse… It’s getting late. You should probably think about turning in soon.”

“Yeah, probably… Night Yurak.” Said Lance.

“Night Lance.”

“... Or should I call you Duke Yurak of Verpzar? Yurak the head taker? Yurak son of Akira the reaper of souls?”

Yurak rolled his eyes and pushed him out the door. “Do to bed Lance.”

“Aww, you’re so mean. I was just teasing you.” Whined Lance, but he headed back to his room. He probably only had a few more days before he’d be going back to Altea. He’d miss talking to Yurak, but he was okay with that. They still had each other’s numbers. They could call each other when they wanted. It wasn’t that bad.

As he walked home he saw a small table pressed up against the wall. There were fresh flowers in the vase. They were bright purple with yellow spots. It smelled kind of fruity. Also on the table, just tucked away behind the vase, was a small animal skull decorated with pearls, rubies and gold.

He picked it up and turned it over in his hands. It was really pretty. Probably worth more than his life though. Damn rich people. He was about to put it down when he heard a gasp from down the hallway. Lance quickly turned around to see a maid. Lance quickly put the skull down and held his hands up.

“I wasn’t going to take it! I was just looking at it! Sorry!”

“Oh, no, no, no!” Said the maid quickly as she ran over to him. She picked up the skull and put it in Lance’s hands. “You picked it up. You keep it. You like it don’t you?”

“Well yeah? I like it but-”

“But nothing.” They said quickly. They picked up the skull and put it in Lance’s hands. “You like it so take it. Yurak won’t be mad if you take it. In fact, I think he will be pretty pleased if you do.”

“... Really?”

“Oh yes.” They nodded and smiled happily at him. “Please, take it with you.”

Lance nodded a little and awkwardly walked back to his room with the skull. He assumed that this was some kind of Galra thing, so he just put it on his bedside table and went to bed. The skull thing was very pretty, but he should probably put it back. If Yurak saw that he took it, he might get mad at him despite what the maid had said. He’d worry about that in the morning.

***

The next morning Yurak very patiently waited by the front door. He had spoken with Shiro and found out about Altean courting, so he sent out someone to buy several rings, necklaces, and bracelets. He wasn’t sure if he needed to give them to Lance over time or if he should just dump them all on him at once.

When they came back with the jewelry, Yurak took it to his room to sort through it all. He found twenty pieces he liked and wanted to give to Lance right away. The rest he could give to him throughout the day.

He quickly gathered it up and headed over to Lance’s room. He quickly knocked and Lance called out. “Come in!”

Yurak pushed open the door and his fur puffed up a little when he saw Lance sitting on his bed. He looked like he had just woken up. His hair was a little messy and his nightshirt was falling off his shoulder. So cute.

He cleared his throat and shuffled awkwardly in the doorway. “Morning…”

Lance smiled at him. He looked so sleepy. “Morning Yurak. What’s up?”

“I um… I…” Yurak walked over to him and quickly dumped the jewelry onto Lance’s lap. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted one of the objects he had scented and left around the house next to Lance’s bed. A little jartac skull. A common rodent. It made his heart swell a little. Maybe it was a coincidence? But it still made him happy.

“Yurak?”

“... I am trying to court you!” Yurak quickly turned around and left, slamming the door behind himself. He was shaking, but very happy. He did it. He did what Shiro had said Altean’s liked. He gave him jewelry and made it clear that it was because he was courting him. That was good. He did a good thing.

He smiled and walked down to the kitchens. As far as Yurak was concerned he had done a good job and was well on the way to courting Lance.

***

It was a beautiful day and Lotor had taken Allura and Romelle to the Timtartor region of the planet. It was well known for their perfumes and jewelry. The Lord was also technically Lotor’s great uncle, so that was nice.

Allura was interested to see what kind of perfumes Galra found pleasant. She hoped that there were some mild floral scents. She did enjoy those over more powerful scents. As she thought about this her datapad started going off. It was Lance. She shared a look with Romelle while Lotor seemed a little confused.

“Is it your father or Lance?” Asked Lotor.

“It’s Lance. Definitely Lance.” She answered it. “Hello?”

_“HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”_ Screeched Lance.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “What did you do this time?”

Lance gasped in horror. _“Firstly, how dare you think I would get in trouble. I am a guest on this planet! Secondly, I think Yurak wants to fuck me!”_ Romelle snorted out a laugh while Lotor looked mortified. _“... I’m on speaker aren’t I?”_

“Yes you are. Say hello to Romelle and Lotor.” She said.

“Hi Lance.” Cooed Romelle.

“Hello there.” Said Lotor.

_“Hi guys… Now I am going to throw myself out the nearest window. Goodbye cruel world…”_

“Oh don’t be so dramatic.” Scolded Allura. “Now what is all this about?”

_“Yurak dropped like six bracelets… five earrings… and… nine necklaces on my bed this morning. Yelled that he was courting me and ran off. Help!”_

“You can always return it.” Said Romelle. “Let him know you don’t like it or you aren’t interested in it.”

_“... But it’s so pretty.”_

The Altean’s rolled their eyes while Lotor shook his head. “Lance, are you serious?” Asked Allura. “... You’re wearing some of it right now aren’t you?”

_“... No.”_

“Lance.”

_“Just a bracelet…”_ He muttered. _“Anyway, am I going to die now or something? How do Galra do courting?”_

“Have you taken anything he scented back to your room?” Asked Lotor. “I don’t know if you can smell when something has been scented, but we scent things to see if the ones we are interested in will take them to decorate their sleeping spaces.”

_“... Oh shit…”_

Allura frowned. “Lance… What did you do?”

_“I just picked it up because I thought it looked neat and a maid told me to take it!”_

“What. Did. You. Do?”

_“I um… I kind of have a tiny skull decorated in pearls and stuff?”_

“Oh a jartac skull.” Said Lotor. “It’s very common here. When you come of age your parents bestow you with it. It’s just a little thing to show that you are an adult. In the old days it used to be a big deal, these days not so much. It’s more of a formality thing. But it’s still very personal.”

_“... Eaaaaaaaarrrrrrg!”_ It sounded like Lance was dying on the other end. _“I didn’t mean to take something that personal or anything like that! It was an accident! I swear!”_

Allura just shook her head. “Lance, you’re not in trouble. But I do have a question for you.”

_“Yes?”_

“Do you like Yurak?”

_“... I um… I kind of? I mean he’s really cute and I like him and… He does look really soft…”_

Romelle rolled her eyes. “Just go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like Galra mate for life…” She looked over at Lotor. “Do Galra mate for life?”

Lotor shook his head. “It’s a little more complicated than that. But Romelle is right… But if things do get bad we can get you back to Altea before Yurak can grab a battleaxe.”

_“Thanks for the confidence…”_

“You’ll be fine.” Assured Lotor. “Since you accepted Yurak’s courting gifts he might get a little more physical with you.”

_“... My butthole is clenched.”_

Lotor rolled his eyes. “I don’t mean like that. I mean he will try to close the distance between you two. Proximity wise. He’ll just be close to you… However if you continue to reciprocate his feelings that comment about clenching your butt might be appropriate.” 

Lance made a sound like a deflating balloon. _“But aren’t Romelle and I going to go back to Altea soon? We can’t just get together like that! These things take time!”_

Allura hummed a little and smiled. “Well, I guess this means you’re having an extended vacation. Have fun Lance.”

_“Wait! Allura! You can’t ju-”_

Allura ended the call and put her datapad on silent. Romelle quickly did the same. “Well that takes care of that.”

“You think those two fools are going to get together?” Asked Romelle.

She shrugged. “Perhaps. They just need some time to get along. What do you think, Lotor?”

The man shrugged. “Personally I am just shocked that Yurak is showing interest in someone. He didn’t seem like the kind of Galra that would partake in finding a partner… Looks like he was just looking on the wrong planet.”

“Indeed.” Allura looked out the window and took a quick video of the changing scenery. It was beautiful and she was going to send it to her father when they got interplanetary reception.


	89. A selkie's work (Witch AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little look into Lance's selkie life. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance’s morning routine as Keith’s familiar was pretty easy. He’d roll off of his bed, change into his human form and head down to the well to get water for the day. When Keith woke up he would always make tea and cook food. Lance wanted to make his morning as easy as possible. That’s just what a familiar was meant to do.

After he got Keith a fresh bucket of water, Lance pulled his seal skin on and happily flopped into the river. The current was practically non existent so Lance could just lazily drift around in the water while he hunted for river fish. They were nice, but he preferred seafood.

Lance managed to grab a fish and happily tossed it onto the riverbank to eat. He happily ate it as he watched someone walking up to Keith’s house with a parcel. Lance stayed in the water and glared at them. He wasn’t too sure what they wanted.

He watched them knock at the door. Keith answered, took the parcel from them, and the person left. When they were gone Lance got out of the water, took off his seal skin, and walked up to the house. “What was that?”

Keith already had the parcel on his work bench and was happily eating his own breakfast. “Just got a job. It’s probably going to take a day or two to complete.”

“Oh nice. What are you doing?”

“Enchanting small throwing knives with air elements and daggers with water elements.”

“Why?”

“Air elements are to make them lighter than they usually would be.” Said Keith. “Water elements to make it very, very difficult to dry the wound and therefore they bleed out faster.”

“... Huh. Alright. Do you need me to do anything?”

“Glad you asked. I have a list.” Keith handed a piece of parchment to Lance. “I need you to go into town to get these things for me. You can get them all at the apothecary. It’s right by the blacksmith’s so if you get a little lost you can go in and ask Kolivan for help.”

Lance nodded and took the paper from him. He couldn’t read that chicken scratch that humans call writing. “Okay. I can do that.”

“Yeah, but breakfast first.” He pushed a plate with eggs and bread towards Lance.

Never being one to turn down a free feed he happily sat down and ate it. Eggs were nice and so was toasted bread. It was yummy. Bread was good. Eggs were good. It made his stomach feel all warm and good inside. He liked dipping the bread crust into the yolk when it was runny. It tasted even better when they had salt. It reminded Lance of home.

When he was done eating Keith forced Lance into pants, which Lance did not like, and gave him a satchel to carry the things on his list, along with some money. Lance took a bit of time adjusting his seal skin and ended up wearing it like a cape.

“How do I look?”

“Suitable to walk into the village without getting arrested for public indecency.” Said Keith. “Now get going.”

Lance rolled his eyes and happily made his way to the village. He still got a few weird looks from people but they generally accepted that the weirdo walking around with a seal skin around their body was the familiar of a wicche. 

He happily made his way to the apothecary and handed over Keith’s list of things. The person behind the counter looked like a small child with big round glasses. “So… You’re Keith’s familiar?” They asked.

Lance nodded. “Yep. I’m Lance. I’m a selkie.”

“Cool. I’m Pidge. My brother Matt and I own this place.” They took the list and started to walk around the shop collecting the items that were on the list. “Looks like Keith has a big order if he needs this much slime gel.”

“Slime gel? What’s that for?” Asked Lance. He was genuinely curious about Keith’s line of work.

Pidge shrugged. “It’s used for a lot of stuff, but mostly as a manna supplement. Like, if a wicche is low on manna they just brew up a quick potion with a bit of this stuff in it. Boosts your manna right back up.”

“Huh, alright.”

Pidge gathered all the things needed and took the money. “Yeah. Well that;s just how it is sometimes. Also, I threw in a bit of sea salt in there for you. Thought you might appreciate it.”

Lance was beaming. “Aw, thank you so much.” Lance loved salt water.

When Lance was done he walked outside and was about to head home when he saw the blacksmith’s place. Maybe he could find some practice knives for Keith to enchant? That would be nice, and Kolivan seemed okay too, if not a little scary.

He walked into the shop and saw Kolivan dipping a large metal thing into a bucket of water. “What are you making?” Asked Lance.

Kolivan looked over at Lance and nodded at him. “Morning Lance. Good to see you again. I’m making a bird cage.”

“Oooooooo.” Lance happily watched Kolivan work. He loved watching the metal change colour from grey to red to white. It was pretty. He liked it. “So are you a wicche?” Asked Lance. “Like, you turn metals into cool things. I like it.”

The older man chuckled. “No, I’m just a simple blacksmith. Never had an ounce of manna in me… Well, I guess I have some. Keith said that all living things have some manna in them… But it’s whatever. I’m just happy to work… Oh! I have something for you, well Keith…” He walked to the back of his shop and handed a box to Lance. “Here. He should be able to do something with this.”

Lance nodded and happily put it into his satchel. “Will do. See you later Kolivan.”

“Goodbye Lance. Don’t you or Keith be strangers now. Come by any time.”

“Will do.” Lance happily started walking back home. He hummed to himself as he walked through the village. He was just humming a song that his mama had taught him. She called it their pod song. It sounded a lot better in seal but she taught him an english translation so that he could sing it with his papa.

It had been a long time since he had seen his papa. The man was very, very nice, but selkies yearned to return to the ocean. The ocean was their home and always would be. If Lance was being honest he really wanted to go back to the ocean soon. The river that followed by Keith’s home was very nice and helped with some of his home sickness, but he wanted more.

When he got back to Keith’s home and happily walked in. “I’m back!”

Keith was already hunched over his work bench and using arcane magic to get his work done. He looked over at Lance and nodded at him. “Hey. Did you get the stuff?”

“Yep… Where do I put it?”

“Just bring it over.”

Lance nodded and put the satchel on a clear space by Keith. The fire wicche opened it up and quickly took out all the bottles of powders and liquids. He paused when he found a bottle of salt. “Why do you have this?”

“Pidge gave it to me.” Said Lance. “Can I keep it? I want to put some salt into some of my water so it feels more like home when I wash my hair.”

“Oh sure. Just be careful. Salt isn’t very easy to come by around here. You’re going to have to ration it.”

“Fair… Oh, Kolivan gave me something to give to you too.” He took the box out of the bag and handed it to Keith. “Here. For you.”

Keith frowned a little and took out a dagger with a gemstone firmly set in the guard and practically up the handle. Lance thought it looked pretty. Keith turned it over in his hand a few times before he made a surprised sound.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Said Keith. “The metal has a slight purple tinge see?” He moved the dagger slightly so that it shone a little in the light. “There is a certain ore combination you can smith together to give it a purple tinge. This metal is stronger and more resilient than normal metal before being infused with magic.”

Lance looked at the purple dagger in shock. “Whoa, really? That’s so cool!”

“Yeah, the only people that know how to make this are Galra smith’s from Diabazzel.”

“Does that mean Kolivan is Galra? So he’s from a different pod?”

Keith chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. Kind of like that… You don’t see much gal-steal outside of Diabazzel. It’s very hard to get the right ores outside of Diabazzel.” He held the knife in the hand and carefully swished it through the air a few times. He seemed to like how it felt in his hand. “Very well balanced… Light weight, but still has some force behind it.”

Lance nodded and pointed to the stone set in it. “Is the stone anything special or is it just a rock?”

Keith looked at the stone for a few seconds. “I’ll look it up later but it looks like a transformation stone. If someone with manna keeps this weapon on them for a few days it will fill with the owners manna and will eventually be able to change into a second form based on the manna it absorbs.”

“... That’s cool. Magic stuff is awesome! Can you make it change now?”

“I need to use all my manna for my work.” Said Keith. “Thanks for getting this for me. I appreciate it.”

Lance grinned. “No problem. This is what I’m meant to do right? Make your life easier?”

Keith smiled back at him. “Yeah. Well I’m going to be doing this for most of the day so you can go and hang out in the river if you want.”

“Sweet. Thanks Keith. I’ll be back around dinner time to make sure you’re eating something.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You do you Lance.”

Lance grinned and happily went back down to the water. He pulled his seal skin on and fell into the water with a splash. Freshwater felt nice against his skin, but he still yearned for saltwater. He loved the feel of it against his skin along with the sand and seaweed.

He happily swam down the river and then back up it. He did a few laps and only stopped when he found a big catfish and happily caught it. He happily tossed it out onto the river bank and happily ate it. It was yummy, but not salty enough.

He sighed a little and rested his head against the grass. He could still smell the sea salt off in the distance. It was just lingering there and it made Lance sigh. Feelings of being homesick and yearning for his home. Lance sighed and lightly tapped his flippers against the ground as he lightly sang in his seal tongue. 

_“To you my home, and love I will return._  
 _Your beauty, strength, and changing nature_  
 _For you my heart will always yearn._  
 _My life, my love for thee will never waver.”_   
.


	90. Town (X-men AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby boy just doesn't want to be judged. He tries so hard, and so does Lance. They are both dumb soft boys and I love them. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith stood outside of Coran’s room and nervously looked at the sign up sheet to go into town. This was a bad idea but Lance wanted him to go town with him. To do that he needed to sign up but he really didn’t want to. Everyone would look at him. He didn’t like it. He didn’t want people to stare at him.

He took a deep breath and quickly scribbled his name down. Keith didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, but Lance wanted him to go. There was a chill in the air that made him shiver. He quickly looked over his shoulder to see Adam walking towards him. He looked a little annoyed at something, which explained the chill in the air.

He nodded slightly at Keith. “Hey. Are you in trouble again?”

“No… Not this time.” Grumbled Keith.

Adam raised an eyebrow and looked at the sign up sheet. He made a surprised sound. “You actually want to go into town?”

“I’m just… trying to make friends…” Muttered Keith as he looked down at his feet. “Please don’t make a big deal out of it.”

Adam chuckled softly. “Is it Lance? Did you make friends with Lance?”

“... Maybe.”

The older man patted his shoulder. “Glad you two were able to get along.”

“Yeah… Don’t tell Shiro about it. He’s going to make a big deal out of it.” He muttered.

Adam rolled his eyes. “Keith, honey, danger kitten… You put your name at the top of the list several days before the next trip down to the town. Shiro is going to see it.”

“... Fuck. Do you have whiteout or something?”

“Nope. Suffer.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, you should also stop swearing.”

“Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“... Are you trying to get a Saturday detention so you don’t have to go to town on the weekend?”

“Maybe?”

“Well it’s not working.”

“Fuck.”

***

On Saturday, an hour after breakfast, Lance was waiting by the garage where the school kept their minibus. A few other people turned up and were standing around. Hunk wasn’t going to make it since he was a bit behind on his assignment, but Pidge was there. She had a small list of things she wanted to pick up from an electronics shop.

“Do you think Keith will actually turn up?” Asked Lance.

Pidge shrugged. “Who knows? He wrote his name down but he could change his mind. You never… Oh boy, he’s actually here…”

Lance looked over to see Keith… The man was wearing a baseball cap with his hoodie pulled up to hide his ears. He was wearing the biggest sunglasses Lance had ever seen, and a face mask. It looked like Keith had tucked his tail into his pants and maybe gloves. He looked more like he was going to rob a place rather than go into town.

“... Are you okay there buddy?” Asked Lance.

Keith shrugged. “I don’t like going into town… I’m just trying to make myself look as little like I’m different as possible...”

“You look like a criminal.” Said Pidge. “I like it.”

“I already have a criminal record.” Muttered Keith.

“Really? What did you do?” Asked Lance.

“Petty shit mostly.” Muttered Keith. “Nothing in this state anyway.”

“Good to know.” Said Pidge.

Suddenly Coran was there. He had a clipboard in his hands and smiled. “Alright everyone. Line up so I can let you on.” Once everyone was on the bus Coran happily drove them down to the town.

The drive down was nice enough. Lots of students talking about stuff they wanted to get or places they wanted to go. Some of them wanted to see movies. Lance was telling Keith and Pidge about a few places that they could hit up to get some good skin and hair care stuff. It was hard to tell if Keith had an opinion on his ramblings, but Pidge was rolling her eyes.

“And here I was thinking that girls were the ones obsessed with skin care.” Grumbled Pidge.

“Skin care transcends gender.” Retorted Lance.

The bus parked and Coran stood at the front and cleared his throat. “Alright everyone. Remember the rules; no using your powers. You’ll just scare everyone. No getting into trouble. Be back on time. And spray paint is prohibited to bring back to the school.”

Everyone quickly got off the bus and quickly ran off to do what they wanted. Lance grinned at his friends. “Well, come on. The place we need to go to is around here.” He and Pidge walked side by side while Keith trudged quietly behind them with his head down.

“You okay there?” Asked Pidge.

“I’m fine…” Muttered Keith. It was clear that he was not fine. It was like a cat getting shoved into a vet clinic. He was skittish and looked like he was going to bolt or run up the nearest light post. Would Lance have to call the fire department to get him down? He wasn’t sure.

They got to the beauty shop that Lance wanted to go to, and Keith stayed close to Pidge. He seemed hyper vigilant of everyone around him. He really looked freaked out and kind of scared. Then again the women that were working there were giving them weird looks. Probably thought Keith was going to steal something.

Lance quickly found the face masks he knew that were good for his skin, and some more gentle face masks for Hunk and Pidge. He then went to the hair conditioners and pulled Keith along with him. He happily grinned and gestured to everything. 

“Alright, here you go. What one do you want? My treat.”

Keith looked around and picked up a hair conditioner. The most generic brand in the store. “I usually get this one… You can get them in big pump bottles.” 

“... Yeah, but that’s… We can get a smaller one that’s really fancy. We’re just going to use it as a face mask. Like this one.” Lance picked up a bottle and popped the cap. “Smell this. What do you think?”

Keith sniffed it and quickly moved his head back. “Too strong…”

Lance nodded and kept looking. “Alright, let’s find you something that you like that’s really good quality.” Lance continued to look through the conditioners and got Keith to sniff the different ones until they found one that Keith liked. A berry one, but now they had to figure out what kind of fur Keith had.

“I just have purple fur.” Said Keith.

Lance rolled his eyes. “I know that. I mean what kind. There’s stiff for oily hair, dry hair, itchy scalp, smooth and silky, anti dandruff, anti-frizz, strengthening, and hydrating.”

“... Does it really matter?”Asked Keith. “Everyone has bad hair days…”

“Okay, take your mask off for a moment and let me touch your face.” Said Lance. “I’ll be able to tell what one you need.”

“... Fine.” Keith very reluctantly pulled his face mask down. Lance quickly rubbed his thumb over Keith’s cheek as he thought this over. His fur was a little dry and very slightly frizzy. Nothing crazy. Keith moved his face away from Lance and pulled his mask back up. “All good?”

“Yeah. Quick question though, do you have dandruff?”

“No.”

Lance nodded. “Alright. Smooth and silky it is.” He smiled happily at him. “Well, let’s go and pay for this. I think Pidge has already given up and walked back to the front.”

“Probably… I’ll um… I’ll just wait out the front with them...”

Lance nodded and headed up to the register to pay for the face masks and hair conditioner. He also bought a few hair ties too just in case. He noticed one of the cashiers looking at Keith as he left the store. They looked like they were probably going to call security on him. Keith really needed to change what he was wearing. Mall security was going to throw them out at this rate.

It wasn’t like there weren’t a few mutants with physical mutations like Keith walking around. He saw a little girl with feathers sprouting out of her face and hair for crying out loud. Keith needed a makeover or something. Maybe he could convince Keith to let him trim some of his split ends?

He walked out to see Pidge and Keith talking. He walked over and grinned at them. “Alright. Time to hit up the electronic’s shop?”

“Fuck yeah.” Said Pidge. “I got some shit I need to get. Coran said I can’t keep taking copper wire from the robotics club. Bitch, I am the robotics club!”

“So modest too.” Said Keith.

“Damn straight I am! Now move it.”

The trio made their way to the electronic’s shop but Keith kind of hung back a little when he saw the security guard standing by the door. “... I’m just going to wait outside.” He muttered as he gestured to some of the seats.

“Really?” Asked Pidge. “Is this because you look like a criminal?”

“Yeah.” Keith sat on the soft chair and quietly waited for them.

Lance didn’t like this at all. “You go ahead, Pidge. I’m going to keep Keith company.”

***

Keith felt so uncomfortable. He hated being out in public. He hated how he looked when he went out. He was so self conscious about how he looked. He knew he looked like a criminal but he was okay with that. He’d rather be looked down upon for looking a little sketchy rather than for looking like him.

He was a little surprised when Lance sat next to him. “Hey.”

“Hey?”

“So, when Pidge is done where do you want to go next?”

“... I don’t really want to go anywhere.” Said Keith quietly. “I just… I kind of want to go back to my room. Maybe have a nap… I’m kind of tired…”

“Right… Aren’t you kind of hot in all that?”

“Kind of…”

“... Come with me.”

“Huh? What about Pidge?”

“They’ll be in there for a while. We got time.” He pulled Keith to his feet and quickly walked with him to the bathroom. Lance took Keith into the unisex bathroom.

“Um… Should we even be in here?” Asked Keith.

Lance shrugged. “It’s fine. We’re just going to be here for a few minutes.” He moved Keith in front of the mirror and frowned.

“What?”

“You look really uncomfortable.”

“I am uncomfortable.”

Lance sighed, pulled back Keith’s hoodie and took off his hat. Keith flailed a little and tried to get his hat back before someone came in. Lance quickly ruffled Keith’s hair and smoothed it out. He lightly teased it and moved it around until he was happy with it.

He grinned and spun Keith around so he was looking at the mirror. Keith didn’t really know what Lance supposedly did to him. He didn’t see any difference in how he looked. Maybe his ears were a little less fluffy?

Suddenly he felt Lance shove his hands into the back of his pants. He didn’t touch his underwear. It was skin on skin contact. Keith let out a sound that sounded like a scalded cat. He had to grab the sink to stop himself from turning around and decking Lance right there in the bathroom.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He growled.

Lance had Keith’s tail in his hand. “Dude, you can’t have your tail all cramped up in your pants.”

“You didn’t have to stick your hand down my pants to grab it!”

“But would you have done it yourself?”

“... That’s not the point. Don’t just grab my tail.” He slapped Lance in the face with it.

“Yeah, okay. Fair enough.” Lance put Keith’s hat on and took off his sunglasses. “You can still wear the mask and put your hood back up, but you can’t keep your tail all tucked away. Also the sunglasses make you look really suspicious.”

“And having bright yellow eyes and a tail isn’t suspicious?”

“There are a few mutants walking around here.” Said Lance. “Just try not to freak out if some clueless kid grabs at it.”

“... Okay.”

Lance grinned. “Okay. Let’s go out and wait for Pidge.” 

Keith nodded and followed Lance out. He quickly pulled his hood back up and kept his tail close to his body. If he was being honest, his tail was kind of sore from being pressed against his body for so long and it felt nice to freely move his tail again. He got a few more stares from people, but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.

They sat back on the seat outside the electronic’s store and Lance started showing Keith memes on his phone. It was kind of nice. He liked being treated normally by someone like Lance. Someone that actually looked human and would pass as normal. 

After a few minutes Pidge walked out with a few bags of stuff. “Alright. What’s next? We have a few hours to burn before Coran will start to hunt us all down.”

“I wanna hit up sephora.” Said Lance. 

“I don’t care.” Said Keith.

Pidge shrugged. “Alright. We’ll get Lance’s makeup crap, and then we’re hitting the food court. Hunk gave you some money for a loaf of that monkey bread stuff, right?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. He said if they don’t have monkey bread he wants cinnamon rolls.”

The rest of the day went surprisingly well in Keith’s opinion. He still got a few weird looks and some toddler squealed “Kitty” at him. Which Lance and Pidge thought was hilarious. Keith just rolled his eyes and hoarded all the chicken nuggets. 25 nuggets for $10 was a good deal and Keith would be damned if he even handed over one of his nuggets to the others. He spent $20 to get 50 of them.


	91. Under the Sun (Camboys AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys. These stupid boys. I love them and I know you all love them too. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After the boys had rested and cleaned themselves up, Lance went back to playing with Kosmo. He was still kind of excited to see what place Keith would take him. He ran through a couple of places that he had seen in a few of Keith’s videos, but he had no idea. Keith took a lot of photos and if Lance was honest, he was a little distracted by Keith’s cock to care too much about the background.

Suddenly Kosmo jumped on top of him. “Ack! Kosmo! Why?”

“Bark!” He happily licked Lance’s face and decided to lay down on top of him.

“... Why are you so heavy?”

“That’s all muscle.” Said Keith as he walked back into the lounge room. He had just thrown in a load of washing after the two of them had their own showers. “Muscle weighs more than fat.”

“Is that why your dick is so heavy?”

“... Dicks aren’t made of muscle.”

Lance pouted. “I’m trying to compliment your massive cock and you slay me like this? Why?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “My dick isn’t that big and you know it.”

“... Fine. You have one of the most massive dicks I’ve had the pleasure to pound my asshole that isn’t made of silicone. Better?”

“Slightly.” Said Keith in an amused tone. “So, what else did you bring besides that lace and those stockings?”

“A few butt plugs and Red.”

“Red?”

“Yeah, that big red dildo you bought for me.”

Keith’s face instantly became red. “... Oh. Right… D-didn’t think you would actually use that. Thought it was more of a joke thing...” 

Lance smirked. “Oh really now? You sent me that and you didn’t think I’d have fun with it?”

“... Sh-shut up…” Muttered Keith as he walked to the kitchen. “I’m going to make some dough…”

“Why?”

“I’m making pizza.” He muttered.

“Oooh! Pizza! I can help!” Lance attempted to push Kosmo off himself, but the big dog wasn’t moving. He stayed firmly planted on Lance’s chest and happily wagged his tail. “... Why must you vex me so?” Kosmo licked his face and rested his chin against his chest. “Keith? Little help?”

“Just play with Kosmo while I make the dough. We’ll go for a walk while it rises.” Called Keith from the kitchen.

“A walk? Does this mean we’re going to go to your favourite wanking spot?”

“Only if you’re nice to Kosmo!” Called Keith in a slightly high pitched tone. Clearly embarrassed. It was cute.

Lance couldn’t help it. Everything about Keith was cute. Well, cute and sexy. He was just too freaking amazing. He just made Lance’s heart flutter. Yeah, despite Lance being a pervert, he was also a big romantic. He wanted to just hold Keith, kiss him, and maybe ride his dick until Keith begs him to stop. Not his fault. Lance was a power bottom when he felt like it.

He played with Kosmo for a few more minutes until Keith walked back out, drying his hand on a paper towel. “Okay… I um… I’m going to grab a few things before we go…”

“A wank pack or something?”

“Sh-shut up… You want to get fucked outside or what?”

Lance laughed and finally got away from Kosmo. “Okay, I’m going to change into something a little more comfortable first.”

“... How much stuff did you pack?”

“Hmm, never you mind. Just get your wank pack ready.”

“Stop calling it that!”

Lance chuckled and headed to the guest room and looked through his clothes. He would need comfortable shoes if they were going to go walking, and it was a little after midday, so there was only one outfit that Lance could possibly wear; low cut daisy dukes, and a black crop top.

“Hey Lance are you ready to- Jesus Christ…” Keith was standing in the doorway. He had a backpack slung over his shoulder and looked like he was going to faint from all that blood rushing to his head.

Lance just smirked and walked over to him. “Yeah, I’m ready to go. And I prefer to be called Lance, not Jesus Christ.” He purred.

Keith rolled his eyes and walked out to where Kosmo was chilling out in his dog bed. Keith grabbed a toy, put some treats in it, and rolled it towards Kosmo. The dog happily grabbed it and started to bite into it.

“He’ll be at it for a few hours.” Said Keith. “Come on. Close the door behind you.”

“You got it boss.” Lance happily followed Keith out the door and down a well walked bath through some desert scrub. 

There wasn’t any trail that he could see, or anything that he really knew as a trail. He followed Keith along the invisible trail and waited for Keith to say something, but he didn’t. Keith was probably a little nervous. Lance had asked him to see his favourite spot. It was special to him. Important to him. But there was something that was kind of nagging at him.

“So… Question.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, isn’t a big part of exhibitionism the thrill of being caught?” Asked Lance. “You’re kind of like… completely alone. No one around for miles…”

Keith shrugged. “True. I don’t really get off thinking someone will catch me. I don’t care. I just like being outside when I touch myself. Never really gotten extra excited about the thought of getting caught. I just wanted to jack off out in the open without someone seeing me because then I’d get put on some sex offenders list for indecent exposure.”

“Huh… Alright.” Lance could understand that.

Keith took him to an area shaded by some rocks and trees. It was nice. “Well… This is the spot. I found it when I was scouting out some locations for landscape shots to put on my main account. When the sun is overhead it looks gorgeous.”

“Whoa… I don’t disagree here.” Lance looked around. “It’s really pretty.”

“Yeah.” 

Lance looked back at Keith to see him spreading a blanket out on the ground. It looked like Keith really was prepared. “Huh.”

Keith looked back at him. “What? You want to get rocks and dirt in your hands and knees?” 

“... Fair enough.” He sat on the blanket next to Keith and happily stretched out. They were in the shade and he quite enjoyed the weather. 

“Here.” Keith passed Lance a bottle of water.

Lance chuckled and took it. “You thought of everything, didn’t you?”

“It’s warm out here.” Said Keith. “Don’t get dehydrated.”

Lance shrugged and drank a mouthful. “So, what do you do first? How do you get horny enough to whip it out?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “You’re a horny idiot. You know that right?”

“Yep, and you fucked this horny idiot.” Said Lance. He snapped his fingers. “Hey, eyes up here buddy. Look at my face, not my dick.”

“I was looking at your legs.”

“Ah yes. These daisy dukes of mine do make my legs go on for days and days.”

“Yep.” Keith reached over and ran his hand over Lance’s leg. Lance grinned and rolled over onto his stomach. Much to his delight Keith kept touching his leg, lightly squeezing and touching his thighs. Eventually his hand would wander up and squeeze Lance’s nice, plump ass.

Lance hummed happily and popped his hips up a little. “You really like my butt don’t you?”

“What can I say? It’s one of your best assets.”

“Was that a pun?”

“Perhaps.”

Lance laughed a little. “Whatever… Hey Keith? Are you clean? Like STI wise?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Because I’m clean too and well… If we’re both clean then I don’t mind not using condoms…” As Lance said that, he felt Keith’s grip on his ass tighten. “I take it you wanna make me all messy?”

“Yes… But are you sure?”

Lance shrugged. “It’s fine. Like, no one’s around anyway so even if some of it runs down my legs when we walk back it’s not like anyone is going to see it.”

“True…” Keith reached up and pulled Lance’s shorts down. 

Lance grinned and wiggled his hips. He moaned softly when he felt Keith put both his hands on each cheek and happily started to squeeze. It was kind of relaxing to feel Keith grabbing and squeezing his ass as much as he wanted. He hadn’t bothered to put any underwear on. He knew that Keith was going to play with him some more. He gasped when he felt the flat of Keith’s tongue gliding across his, not so tight, little starburst.

He groaned when he felt Keith’s tongue continue to lick, poke, and prod at his hole. He felt Keith’s tongue slip inside him and heard him groan. Lance moaned and pushed back. Kaith was really good with his tongue.

“F-fuck…” Moaned Lance. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against his forearm.

***

Keith moaned and quickly ran his tongue around the rim of Lance’s hole. He loved how much Lance quaked and shuddered under him. He was beautiful. He was gorgeous. Keith was already aching in their pants. 

He reached over to his bag and grabbed a bottle of lube. He squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and pushed two of them against Lance’s hole and it sucked them in. Now that didn’t surprise Keith a lot, they did have sex less than an hour ago. What did surprise him, however, was how tight Lance was. It felt like Lance’s hot walls were trying to crush his fingers in a vice-like grip.

Keith bit his bottom lip and started to pump his fingers. He carefully rubbed his fingers against his soft and silky walls as Lance quickly loosened up. Lance moaned under him as Keith traced his thumb over the lubed rim.

He slipped his hand under Lance and gently coaxed him up onto his knees. He gently started to stroke him. Lance moaned louder and Keith couldn’t help but smirk. “Oh fuck!” Cried Lance. “Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!”

Keith smirked as he curled his fingers and pushed in a third finger. “What? Did I happen to hit your sweet spot babe? Does it feel good?”

“Hmm, fuck you…” He moaned. “Y-you know it feels good!” Lance is squirming against the blanket now.

Keith bit his bottom lip and reluctantly pulled his fingers out. Lance whined a little and spread his legs more for him. Keith pushed his pants down and ran his lube covered hand over his excited member. He shuddered a little at the cold air hitting his dick but that just made him more excited.

He slipped the head into Lance’s tight heat. The two of them moaned. Keith because Lance was so tight, and Lance because Keith’s piercing was rubbing along his sides. He snapped his hips forward, bottoming out and almost knocking the wind out of Lance.

“Holy shit!” He moaned. “Fuck, Keith! Fuck!”

Keith grinned and started to slowly rock into Lance’s welcoming heat. Going bareback with Lance was amazing. Hell, sex with Lance in general was amazing. The fact that they were having sex with him outside too just made it even better. He held Lance’s hips tightly and started to thrust faster.

Wonderful moans started to spill out of Lance’s mouth with every thrust. It sounded like heaven to Keith’s ears. Way better than hearing Lance in his livestreams. It was a little more high pitched due to the voice changer he used to mask his voice. Hell, Lance sounded way more into it now then when he did when he was performing for the camera. He could feel his heart swell at that thought. 

Keith leaned over Lance’s body, his chest pressed firmly against Lance’s back, pinning him in place against the blanket. Lance moaned and grabbed hold of the blanket. “Oh fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” He let out a small yelp and came on the blanket.

If Lance wasn’t tight before he sure as hell was now. Keith thrusted into him a few more times before he came. He buried himself as deep inside Lance as he can and emptied himself. Both were panting heavily as they came down from their high.

Keith kissed Lance’s neck as he slowly pulled out. He watched as a thick, white drop eagerly rolled out of Lance’s pretty, used hole. He collected it on his thumb and pushed it back in. Lance whimpered a little, but Keith ignored it as he reached into his bag to retrieve the butt plug he had left in his room earlier that day. He pushed it in and Lance let out a small, satisfied sound.

“Hmm, was that as good for you as it was for me?’ He purred.

“Yeah, really fucking good.” Said Keith. He pulled Lance into a passionate kiss. He hadn’t shared his kink with anyone before, so this was a very big deal for him. He was glad that the person he got to share it with was Lance.

Lance pulled back a little and grinned at him. “Hmm, that’s good.” He ran his fingers through Keith’s hair and smiled at him. Fuck, his smile post sex was beautiful. He was beautiful. He was perfect. Everything about Lance was perfect. “Hey Keith? I got another question for you.”

“Hmm? What is it?’

“What kind of pizza are you making for dinner?”

“You good with hawiian pizza?”

“... Pineapple on pizza?”

“Yeah?”

“Mama warned me that the Devil would be handsome.”

Keith rolled his eyes and flicked his nose. “Really? Oh really now?”

“Yeah, but your mouth and dick are amazing, so I guess you can have my soul Mr Devil.”

He rolled his eyes again and ruffled Lance’s hair. “You’re an idiot. I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	92. Regrets (Android AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting angsty down in the Android AU. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was very, very conflicted. Lance was meant to be a deviant, but he wasn’t acting like one. At least not in the way Keith was used to. Lance was just his usual happy self. He helped Adam with his medical needs, made food when needed be, and happily did his puzzles. None of which could be considered deviant behaviour. It was frustrating.

At times like this Keith was jealous of humans. He couldn’t stress eat or drink because he needed something right now. It was kind of ridiculous how upset he was at this. What was he really upset about though? That Lance was a perfectly functioning Android? Did he want Lance to be a deviant?

Why the hell did he want Lance to be a deviant in the first place? Lance liked helping Adam and Adam liked having Lance around… But Keith liked having Lance around too. Lance was happy and made him feel special, kind of. It was probably something in his programming as a care android. Which actually pissed him off.

Keith wanted to grab Lance and shake him. He wanted Lance to tell him what was going on in his head. He wanted Lance to tell him what kind of android he would be if he could be anything. He wanted him to tell him all his hopes and fears. He wanted Lance to show emotion that was outside his programming. Something impulsive to show that he was alive. Something that showed that he was more than his programming. He was more than what everyone said he was. 

Hell, Keith was more than what people said he was. He used to be an android called Akira. That was kind of weird. He didn’t know what to make of it. He didn’t feel much of a disconnect between this body and his mind. It was a new chance. A blank slate. Akira was the old him. The new him had his eyes open and he… He wanted to open Lance’s eyes too. He wanted to see what Lance would make of the world. Would it be selfish to want that?

“Are you brooding?” Asked Shiro. They two of them were on patrol at the moment. They had stopped at a food truck so Shiro could get some lunch. The stupid bastard just drank a coffee before he ran out the door. At least now he was eating something a little more filling. Even if it was a triple cheese and bacon bagel.

“I’m not brooding.” Brooded Keith. “I’m concerned… About Lance.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… Allura said that he should be becoming a deviant. I’d need to be able to talk to Pidge to get more information but I… It will be difficult to find them. I am… I want Lance to be a deviant.”

“You want him to be like you?”

“I… I don’t know.” Muttered Keith. “Lance is… He has so much potential. Too much potential to be a slave to the system.”

“I know.” Said Shiro. “But you can’t force an android to open their eyes and get out of the system.”

“Yeah…” He sighed a little and shook his head. “Lance is too nice to be an android. He’s too sweet and pure he-”

“Is way too pure to be human.” Said Shiro.

Keith frowned and nodded. “Yeah… He is.”

Shiro shrugged. “Well, there isn’t much you can do about it… Though I would be a little upset if Adam has to find something else to help him out… That’s going to be stressful.”

“Yeah…” Keith sighed. “Anyway, Matt and Pidge are still upgrading?”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. Some of the sex androids want parts removed and some androids want parts to be more intimate with their partners. Some of them just want to feel more human.”

“Huh… Alright.” Keith hadn’t really thought about that before. He hadn’t ever really thought about that. He had been too busy saving deviants to bother really looking at himself. His body was a shell for his mind, but it was still his. Hopefully it will be more permanent than previous ones since he had a habit of destroying himself by accident.

He wondered if he would feel more like his body belonged to him if he got a… physical enhancement. It might, but he wasn’t really able to have one since he was technically government property. That was kind of annoying. Also if his torso or lower half got destroyed then it would be completely destroyed or found out and then his consciousness would probably be put in a new body anyway.

“Are you okay?” Asked Shiro as he finished up his food. “Are you thinking about… You know?”

Keith shrugged. “Kind of? I mean, I hadn’t thought about it before. I feel like a whole person, well android, without it. However I also feel like it might make me feel more like my own person? I’m not sure…”

Shiro shrugged and went to toss his rubbish in the bin. “Well, if you want we could always stop by Matts workshop?”

Keith felt like he would regret it but he nodded. “Sure. Let’s head over and see what he’s up to…”

***

Keith instantly regretted his decision. Matt’s workshop specialised in the maintenance and repair of sex androids. Mostly for clubs, but a few were for rich clients that could afford the upgrades. Keith had gone there a few times during the android disappearances. He wondered if Matt had changed anything? However the torsos with varying breast sizes in the window told Keith that this was not the case.

They walked into the shop just in time to hear Matt screeching from the backroom. “TITS!!!”

“... You need help back there?” Asked Shiro.

Matt quickly came out of the backroom. He had a fake boob in his hand, but he was smiling at them. “Shiro! Keith! Good to see you guys again. Welcome to my humble shop. What do you need?”

“What’s with the breast?” Asked Shiro.

“Oh? This?” He squeezed it a few times and put it in a box under the desk. “I got a new box of breasts and I didn’t do a very good job putting them on the backshelf. Got attacked by a bunch of boobs.” He sighed and leaned across the desk. “So what do you need?”

“Did you hear about Keith getting his memories back?”

“No.” He shook Keith’s hand and grinned. “Congrats. Nice to have all your memories back, huh?”

Keith returned the hand shake. “Yeah. It’s nice to finally have all the pieces in place.”

“So what do you guys need?”

Shiro looked over at Keith and nudged him. “Go on.”

“... I um… I’ve been kind of interested in learning about getting a um… male enhancement?”

Matt stared blankly at Keith for a few moments before he laughed. “Ah, still all embarrassed about sex I see? Don’t worry about it. I’ll hook you up with something nice. Your model has like, three different basic models. It’s pretty nice actually. I’ll go and get them. The colouring might be wrong, like I know for certain that one is definitely black, but if you like how it looks I can get the colour changed.” He quickly rushed out the back to get them.

Keith groaned in annoyance and started to walk towards the door. Shiro put his hand on Keith’s shoulder and sent him back to the counter. “You asked for this.”

“I know, but I instantly regret it.”

***

Lance happily walked down the street with his list of things he needs to do churning around in his head. The weather today was lovely and with optimal wind conditions too. It was nice. If Adam felt up to walking today he would have recommended it.

He made his way through the part and spotted a couple holding hands and walking with their dog. It was… It was nice. He wondered if he could hold Keith’s hand and walk through the park too? That might be nice. He wanted to do that. But that was a couple thing. A human thing. It made him sad.

Lance sighed sadly. He liked Keith a lot. But Keith didn’t like him. They were androids. He kind of wished that androids were able to cry. Crying was good for releasing negative emotions, and he was always full of negative emotions when he saw couples and thought of Keith. Couple stuff was deviant behavior. Keith would shut him down if he was a deviant.

He didn’t want to be shut down for liking Keith. It honestly sucked. He wished they were both human at this point. If he confessed he liked Keith then Lance wouldn’t really be risking his life. If one of them was an android and one of them was a human then the android could either get upgraded or rebooted. 

He was shattered. Lance didn’t like how this felt. Maybe he could ask Pidge to delete his negative emotions so he didn’t have to keep feeling so sad about the things he couldn’t have. Being an android sucked. He needed to dull his emotions. Emotions were… bad. They were very bad. He didn’t like feeling sad.

A soccer ball quickly hit the side of his head and Lance hit the ground. “Hey Mr? Are you okay?” Asked a kid as they ran over. When Lance looked up at them the kid kind of just paused. “Oh… you’re just an android.” They grabbed their ball and happily walked off to play with their friend.

“Yeah… I’m just an android…” Muttered Lance as he stood back up. He dusted himself off and kept walking. He had to just do what he had to do. He continued on his way but he felt so empty inside. He was nothing in everyone’s eyes. Did android’s see him as just an android? Could another android see him as special? Could Keith see him as special? Probably not. He wasn’t special. 

“Hey Lance!” Called Pidge. He looked over to see Pidge running over to him with a sandwich in hand. “What up?”

“Hello Pidge. I’m just running errands for Adam…” Said Lance quietly. “Are you having lunch?”

“Yep. Chicken salad sub. Extra cheese and extra ranch dressing.”

“... That does not sound healthy.”

“I know… Are you okay though? You seem a little… Off?”

“You can tell just by looking at me?” Asked Lance.

“Dude, I made you. It would be shitty if I couldn’t tell when one of my robots wasn’t feeling right. Wanna walk and talk or sit and talk?”

“... I can take five minutes out of my time to sit and talk.”

“Sweet.” Pidge led Lance to a bench and they talked.

Well, Lance talked a lot while Pidge listened. He told her about how he keeps having weird thoughts about couples and how he’s yearning for something like that, but he knows he’ll never get it. He wants to have a romantically intimate relationship, but androids are asexual and most didn’t even have the nessesary equipment to have a sexual relationship with anyone to start with. He even confessed how he wanted to be intimate with Keith, but he knew that Keith would shut him down but he wanted to keep living.

“Wow…” Said Pidge. “That’s… That’s a lot…”

“Yeah… Can you please dull my emotions?” Asked Lance. “Maybe put a cap on them? Please? I… I hate how it feels…”

“... Oh no… I think I gave you depression…”

“... Perhaps. I did not think I had the ability to become depressed.”

Pidge shrugged. “Look, that’s just what it sounds like. I’ll look into that. Are you good for like, two more days?”

Lance nodded. “I’ll be fine… I should probably get going. I need to finish Adam’s shopping.”

“Okay… Are you okay? Like seriously. I don’t want to find out that you’ve gone and thrown yourself off a roof.”

“Why does that matter?” Asked Lance. “I’m a prototype. Even if my body gets destroyed I’ll just get uploaded to a new body.”

“Lance, it’s not that simple...” Said Pidge quietly. “You’re a prototype. There was only a certain number of you made. All of the prototypes are active right now. If your body gets destroyed then that’s it. You’re done. You don’t have a backup.”

“... What?” This was news to Lance. He thought that he was like any other android. Androids had a few backups and even spare parts, but he didn’t. He didn’t fully understand. “So does this mean that I… I can technically die if I get injured?”

“Kind of?”

“Oh… I um… I really should go and finish my shopping… G-goodbye Pidge. I’ll see you soon.” He quickly stood up and quickly walked out of the park. Now not only did he feel sad over the lack of romantic and physical contact he was allowed to have, but now he was scared. He should have figured that as a prototype that there was no backup. He was all there was. He didn’t know what to make of it, but he knew he couldn’t tell anyone about what he was feeling.

He didn’t know if what he was feeling was deviant behaviour or not. He didn’t want to suddenly be marked for destruction if he wasn’t actually a deviant. If he told Adam about his feelings he would tell Shiro, and then Keith would know. Once again, Lance wished that he could cry.


	93. Birds, bees, and fish guts (Monster AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. In my country the bans are slowly starting to get lifted, so I'mm be trying to get out of the house more. Which means soon I probably won't be doing these chapters every day. I still have a bunch of them already lined up for the next few days (well into the 100+) so don't worry about that. I'm going to be trying to be trying to write some more for my other stories (both fan fic and my own original stuff) so yeah. Daily uploads might stop in a week or two.  
> Also bonus points if you know what exactly Shiro's particular job title is. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith didn’t know what a weekend was. He didn’t really have much of a concept of time. All he really knew when there was light he was meant to be up and about, and when it was dark he should be sleeping. Since Lance was going to be gone for an indefinite amount of time, Keith needed to hunt for food. Since he couldn’t really hunt humans and pigs didn’t seem to be around, Keith was just going to wander the woods to see what he could find.

It didn’t take him too long to pick up the scent of some kind of female animal. He had no idea what it was, but he tracked it anyway. He eventually found a weird looking animal. It had very long, skinny legs, a long neck, and pointed snout. It also had a little fluffy tail. 

Keith didn’t know what it was, but meat was meat. He stayed down wind of it and waited for the opportunity to pounce on it. But he wanted to watch it for a bit first. It slowly walked around and ate grass. It was interesting, but it was time to eat it.

He dug his claws into the ground and bared his teeth. Keith was ready to pounce on it and rip it apart. But before he could, another one of these weird creatures walked over to the female. They looked like the female, but they had horns. Horns that looked like tree branches sticking out of their head. Keith stared at the new animal in confusion. 

He became even more confused when the horned animal mounted the female and looked like it was trying to jump over them, but couldn’t quite make it. Both animals were making weird sounds too. Keith didn’t get it, but he felt like he probably shouldn’t be watching this. So despite his curiosity and hunger, Keith slinked away and went to find something else to eat. Animals were weird. Why try to jump over another animal when you can just walk around it?

Eventually Keith found a rabbit and chased it down. Quickly grabbing it and breaking its neck. Keith then sat down and happily ate it. He ate it at the edge of a large body of water with some kind of island in the middle of it all. Keith stared at it for a moment and wondered if he could swim over to it. He doubted he could. He washed his hands and face off in the water before he headed back to the forest. 

Keith needed to find some more meat. He still didn’t know when Lance would come back. He hoped that a weekend wasn’t too long. He already missed Lance. He was used to being isolated and ignored, but he liked talking to Lance. It was like when he used to talk to Shiro… Though if he was honest there was always that bit of fear and slight anxiety around him.

He understood it and didn’t hold it against the older man. Keith was very… He didn’t get along well with others. He remembered the first time he met Shiro… He had been taken to the talking room.”

***

The talking room was a small white room with a table and two chairs. A thick sheet of clear perspex was cut right down the middle of the room through the table. There was a small slit in the plastic just above the table’s surface so things could get passed between them. Keith just sat on the chair and waited patiently for someone to come and talk to him.

He didn’t really like sitting there for too long. He wanted to walk along his side of the glass wall, but he would always get yelled at when he moved off the chair. At least he was allowed to bring a book with him. If the person talking to him was in a good mood, they would read it to him when they were done talking. But that often depended on who was talking to him that day. It was usually a woman, but she always looked at him with disgust. She might read to him. He never really caught her name. If it was Sendak, he would take Keith’s book and he wouldn’t get it back for a long, long time.

The door suddenly opened and Keith quickly sat up straight. A new person came in. They were male and had black hair. They smiled nervously at him and sat across from him. He put on some reading glasses and looked down at a clipboard they had brought in with them.

“So…” Said the man. “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Takashi Shirogane. You can just call me Shiro. I’ll be working with you from now on. Can you tell me what your name is?” 

“...” Keith didn’t trust this Shiro guy. If he acted nice then that meant he wanted something from him. He didn’t know what Shiro wanted from him. It made him nervous.

“... Okay, can I ask you some questions? You can just nod or shake your head. Sound reasonable?”

Keith nodded. He knew that if he didn’t say or do anything, then he’d get in trouble again. He was tired of loud noises being blasted through the speakers when he was just about to fall asleep, or the small amount of things he was allowed to keep being taken away again.

Shiro seemed happy with his nod and looked down at his clipboard. “You’re K-P1?”

Keith nodded. That’s what everyone called him. That or monster.

“And you’re eleven?”

Keith shrugged. He didn’t know how old he was. No one told him how old he was. He just kept growing and people talked. He had no sense of time in this place. If they said he was eleven then he was eleven.

Shiro frowned at that response. “You don’t know how old you are? Don’t they tell you?”

Keith shook his head.

“... I see. Would you like to know about me?”

Keith was confused. No one really talked to him about themselves. That wasn’t something they did. He nodded, but remained cautious. This could be some kind of trick and Keith still didn’t know what Shiro’s motive was in this situation.

“Well, like I told you, my name is Takashi Shirogane. I’m a biospeleogist. It’s a big word, but that means I’m a scientist that studies life in um… in inclosed ecosystems… Kind of like this. I’m here to make sure you’re happy and healthy. Do you feel happy?” 

The young boy frowned and looked down at the table. He didn’t really know what happiness was. He just felt tired all the time and just wanted to eat, sleep, and look at the colourful pictures in his book. He just shrugged.

“Okay… What do you have there?” Asked Shiro. “Looks like a book. Can I see it?”

“...” This was a bit of a gamble for Keith. If he refused to show Shiro his book then it might mean another week of being sleep deprived or not eating. If he gave Shiro his book then he might not give it back. It was his favourite one. He didn’t want to lose it, but they could take it away from him anyway. His hands shook slightly as he pushed the book through the hole in the glass. He didn’t expect to get it back, and that really upset him.

Shiro picked up the book and looked at it. “The Big Red Barn. Do you like this book?”

Keith was getting nervous. If he said yes would Shiro take it away from him? Would it be a good idea to lie and say no? Would he just take it either way? He didn’t know. He nodded and stared down at the table. 

“Ah, I see.” 

Keith heard the legs of Shiro’s chair scrape across the ground, like he was going to leave. It made Keith panic. “No!” He yelled as he jumped up, pressing his hands against the glass. “Don’t take my book! Please! I answered your questions! I-I’m sorry I didn’t speak before! Please don’t take it away! Please!”

Shiro froze in shock and just stared at him in shock. “... I wasn’t going to take your book. I was adjusting my chair.”

“O-oh…” Keith slumped back in his chair and felt defeated. He yelled at Shiro and now there was no way he could get his book back. They probably wouldn’t give him back his book after this. It was okay. Really. He didn’t really like that book that much. He still had two other books he could look at.

Suddenly the book was pushed back onto Keith’s side of the glass. He quickly grabbed it and looked up at Shiro, very confused. He seemed a little unsettled by Keith’s outburst. “I’m sorry about that. I’m not going to take your things. I’m here to try and help you.”

“... Am I in trouble?” Asked Keith quietly.

“Of course not.’ Said Shiro. “You thought I was going to take one of the few things you’re allowed to have. Can I ask why you have the book with you?”

Keith shrugged. “If… If I’m good then the lady might read it to me… I like it when she reads to me… I can’t read.”

That surprised Shiro. “You can’t read? Then why do you have books?”

“I like the pictures… Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

Keith opened the book and pointed to a page with larger animals with their offspring. “I don’t understand this.”

Shiro read the few words on the page and frowned. “What don’t you understand? It says; There’s mummy and daddy duck, with their ducklings. Mummy and daddy chicken with their chicks. Mummy and daddy cat with their kittens.”

Keith nodded. “Do I have a mummy and daddy too?”

“...Well, um yeah? I guess… I mean, you had to come from somewhere, right?” His answer actually surprised Keith a lot. No one told him that before. If he had asked before then they would just ignore him or punish him. He once asked Sendak if he was his dad. Sendak hit him and told him that monsters don’t have parents. He still thought he had to come from somewhere.

“Can you find them for me?” Asked Keith quietly. “I… I want to know why they didn’t want me…”

“What makes you think they didn’t want you?”

“They aren’t here… a mummy and daddy are meant to protect their baby…” He nervously fidgeted in his seat and closed the book. “Were my mummy and daddy monsters like me?”

“I… I don’t know.” Shiro seemed nervous now. He cleared his throat and stood up. “Well, our time is up now. Thank you for talking to me K-P1. I’ll see you soon.”

Keith nodded and held his book close to his chest. “O-Okay… Am I in trouble? F-for asking about them? S-Sendak and everyone else gets mad at me for asking about them.”

“You’re not in trouble. You did really good today.”

Shiro left the room and soon after the pressurised door keeping Keith in the talking room opened up and let him back into his small cell. In his cell he had a bed, a small desk, and his books. He put the book down with the rest and went to go back to laying on his bed. He then noticed the paper and markers that had been left on his desk. He must have done something right if he got a reward.

***

Keith smiled at that memory. He didn’t care about knowing who his parents were anymore. They were either dead or didn’t care about him. Maybe that’s just what his kind did? Just had babies and left them to fend for himself? He didn’t know. Hell, he didn’t even know how babies were made.

When Keith was done cleaning up he went back to hunting. He quickly found another one of those weird creatures with the thin legs and long necks. It had those weird branch horns on its head too. 

He cracked his knuckles and quickly pounced on them. They hardly had a chance to buck Keith off of him when the man violently sunk his teeth into the animal’s neck. He violently shook it. Ripped it. Tore into flesh and bone. By the time he was done the animal’s head was almost completely torn off. Keith grabbed it by its back legs and dragged it back to his cabin. He’d eat it slowly over the next few days until Lance came back.

***

Lance spent the morning having X-rays and MRI’s done. As far as anyone knew, he was still fine. No one had given him any bad news about his brain being broken, so he was all fine. Apparently. It was pretty messed but Lance didn’t really mind. He knew it wasn’t his mind. It was Keith, and he didn’t mind.

His mother still seemed worried about him and wanted him to stay home for the rest of the day. Which annoyed the hell out of Lance, but he agreed just to make her feel better. He wanted to hang out with his friends. She wasn’t very happy about this, but said that he could invite them over, but he wanted them under her roof.

She would often go through these weird bouts of being over protective of him. He understood that she loved him and was just worried that something bad had happened to him, but he sometimes felt like she was treating him with kid gloves. She was way too overprotective. 

Well, at least Lance was able to have his friends over. Pidge and Hunk dropped by to hang out in his room. Pidge happily flopped down on Lance’s bed and poked him. “So, you got a tumor in your head or something?”

“That’s not nice Pidge.” Said Hunk. “But seriously, are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” Said Lance. “Nothing wrong with my brain.” At least nothing physical that he would admit out loud to them.

“Well that’s good.” Said Pidge. “Have the police asked you any more questions?”

“Nope.” Said Lance. “I guess I wasn’t that useful? Either that or they have a better lead than some poor dumbass that slipped on someone’s guts and knocked themselves out.”

“Don’t be like that man.” Said Hunk. “Want to come over for dinner tonight? Like, if your mum lets you? If she isn’t too…”

“I doubt she’ll let me go.” Said Lance sadly. “But I’d really like to. I can ask.”

Pidge groaned slightly. “Man, your family always makes the best food ever… What are you making this time?”

“Baked fish.” Said Hunk. “So fresh we have to scale and gut them ourselves.”

“That sounds so good…” Whined Lance. “Did you catch them yourselves?”

“Yeah, dad caught them in the lake with his friend earlier today.” Said Hunk. “Always good fish in the lake… Shame the island is still off limits.

“Government experiments.” Said Pidge. “Chemical testing. Everything’s irradiated.”

“Are the chemicals in the water turning the freaking frogs gay?” Asked Lance.

“Perhaps.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I’ll go and ask mama if she’ll let me go. You two… Don’t mess up my stuff.”

Hunk and Pidge shared an evil look that just screamed that they were going to go through his stuff. “We promise we won’t.” They said. Which Lance knew was bullshit.

Lance went downstairs to where his mama was reading a book. She looked up at him and smiled slightly. “Do you need something Lance?”

“Can I go over to Hunk’s place for dinner tonight?” He asked.

She did not look very pleased. “Honey… I don’t think that-”

“Hunk can drive me home right after.” He said. “Right there and back. You know Hunk is responsible. He won’t be doing anything crazy. I know it. You know it. Please?”

She sighed and shook her head. “Just be back before eleven. Okay?”

Lance grinned and hugged her. “Thank you mama. You’re the best.”

She sighed and hugged back. “I am much too soft for your own good. Say hi to Hunk’s parents for me.”

“I will. Thanks mama.” Lance quickly headed up to his room and grinned at them. “Mama said yes!”

Soon after mama McClain gave her approval, the trio headed to Hunk’s place. Hunk’s mum directed Hunk and Lance outside to help Hunk’s dad with the gutting and scaling. Pidge got roped into cutting up fruit. 

The boys headed into the backyard and were handed a cutting board and knife by Hunk’s old man. It wasn’t the first time the boys had gutted fish. It was pretty much a Summer tradition at this point.

The boys sat down and went to gut their fish, but the second the entrails spilled out onto the cutting board Lance felt sick. All he could remember was that first grizzly scene where Keith had mutilated his kill. Did the fish’s guts just twitch? They did. He felt like he was going to vomit. His stomach lurched, and Lance quickly got up and ran to the far side of the yard to vomit. 

He wretched for a good five minutes as Hunk came over to make sure he was okay. “Are you okay?”

“No…” Muttered Lance. “I… I don’t think I can handle guts anymore. I’m sorry… I… I can’t.”

“Oh! It’s okay man. I totally get it! I should have realised that…” Hunk just looked so distraught. “I am so sorry man…. I should have… Come inside. Go wash up. We’ll take care of it.”

“Thanks… Sorry abou-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Said Hunk as he quickly shooed him inside.

Lance nodded and quickly went inside and slipped into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and realised how shit he suddenly looked. His face looked all clammy and kind of grey. It was bad. But that wasn’t the worst part of it. He kept thinking about what it would be like for Keith to cut him open and eat his guts. He wanted Keith to pin him down and slit him open so his guts spilled out like that fish. It made him shiver at how fucked up his mind had become. 

***

Keith dragged his kill back to the cabin and slowly ate it over the rest of the day. Fur, bones, tendons, muscles… Everything. It tasted okay. Not nearly as good as Lance did, but it was okay. Lance would come back soon for him. Right? He hadn’t been abandoned again… Maybe?

That thought made him nervous. Keith was a monster. He ate living creatures. He actively hunted them down and ripped them to pieces. It was easier to hunt things that couldn’t talk back to him, but they just didn’t taste as good. It wasn’t his fault was it?

This was just natural to him. If he went about and did what was natural to him, was he evil? Were monster’s evil? He didn’t want to be evil. He just was. Could one thing be evil just by the nature of existing? Keith just wanted to survive.

He wondered how his kind survived outside of that place and on their own. Did they hide in human society? Could they even do that? He figured it might be possible since he did look human for the most part. He did find it kind of hard to believe though when humans smelled so delicious. There was no way his kind, whatever it was called, could live alongside humans without completely devouring them.

He sighed sadly and took another bite out of his catch. Maybe he was better off alone? He should hide deeper in the mountains away from everyone and everything. That might be for the best. He just wanted to be left alone. He hoped that everyone would be able to do that. Just leave him alone. That sounded impossible though.

He was a monster, and according to Lance that meant he was unnatural. Something that wasn’t meant to exist. Maybe that meant he really shouldn’t be alive? And if he wasn’t meant to be alive, then did that mean that he was the only one of his kind? Did the people there make him? If that was true then that really meant he was alone. No one wanted him. He was a mistake.

“...” He looked down at the face of the animal he was eating. He’d already eaten most of its muzzle and cracked open its skull to get to its brain. Hell it was mostly half a skull at this point. “Am I… am I evil?” He asked it quietly, but he got no answer.

He sighed sadly and took another bite out of it and continued to feel like shit. He missed Lance. He missed Shiro. He didn’t know if Lance would ever come back. He still didn’t know how long weekends were. He hoped it wasn’t long. Lance was so nice to him. He let him eat him. Lance seemed to like him too… maybe… He did come back every day to see him. So that meant he liked him, right? Keith liked Lance.

***

A bus pulled up in town and several people got out. Krolia was one of them. She was back in town but didn’t know why she was here. She didn’t want to be here, but she couldn’t help it. That Takashi guy had said that he worked with it. That thing she birthed was still alive. She wanted answers.

She held the strap of her bag close and headed to the cheap motel close to the bus stop. This town, and a fair few of the people in it worked at that place. Not all of them would have known about her, probably only the higher ups or anyone that has seen her interviews. She was pretty sure they were all recorded. At least there was audio for all of them.

She quickly went to the hotel and got the cheapest room she could afford for the week. When she was safely got inside she emptied out her bag and found her gun case. She took it out and quickly opened it up to check her Super Redhawk. She quickly checked the chamber, all empty. She quickly loaded it and took a deep breath.

Krolia knew what she had to do. She had to find Shiro, get as much information off him as possible by any means necessary… Then she would find her son, and kill him. She couldn’t believe that they would let them live that long. No other experiment had lived past fifteen, but then again that was probably because the mother of J-P1 went temporarily mad and tried to self about with a plastic spoon.

Krolia wasn’t doing to be like that. She knew what she had to do. Agreeing to the project was a mistake. She was just young and foolish. The money and opportunity was too good to turn down. If she said no then she wouldn’t have been able to get the job she actually wanted… It was a mistake. She needed to fix this once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, you all have a maga choice of what chapter goes up next. I have six, count them, six finished AU chapters. Please let me know which ones you want to see tomorrow. You have five you're already following or something totally new that you haven't seen yet.
> 
> Modern Fantasy; I  
> Royal; I  
> Phantom of the Opera; II  
> Witch; I  
> Camboys; I  
> Something new; III


	94. The Pastor and the Bikie (HolyHell AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that voted in the comments in the last chapter, thank you. So this is something new. Inspired by a conversation I had with Lendys (Thanks for the idea I really, really loved it). So, Lance is the Pastor of a small Catholic Church. Keith wants to get into his pants for reasons. Enough said. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Also, don't know if bikie is a universal term or Aussie slang. It just mean someone who is in a motor cycle gang and or a group of motor cycle enthusiasts (doesn't mean they are part of an outlaw gang but is most commonly associated with outlaw gangs)  
> Also, I knew biker patches meant something. Just didn't realize how diverse some of those patches were. It's actually quite interesting if you bother to look it up sometime.

There were a few things that Lance liked about living in the small rural town of Garrison. He loved the sense of community, the wide farmlands, and the cozy little corner shops were some of his favourite things. Lance also really liked his job. He was set to Garrison by the Vicar to become the local Pastor. 

He was very young, only 21, but the Vicar thought having someone young would bring younger people to the church. Lance didn’t think that was possible, but he did as he was told and went along with it. The older members of the church were very, very hard to win over. They were very stubborn and set in their ways, but over several months he was starting to gain their trust and acceptance. Attendance went up slightly for the younger demographic, but not that dramatically.

Lance didn’t mind too much. He had a steady congregation of a little over fifty, and small groups would rent out the church hall for small gatherings when they couldn’t rent out the town hall. Lance had happily opened the doors for the local A.A support group when there was a booking conflict with some other, larger event. Weddings kept Lance busy too.

Today, Lance was happily doing some gardening out the front of the church. Lance had always enjoyed gardening. It was soothing. But he had been doing so much gardening lately he was literally just sweeping dirt off the path heading up to the church. He wasn’t wearing his usual church clothes. Just some jeans and a t-shirt. Though he did keep his rosary close to his chest.

As he did so he wondered if there were any groceries he needed to pick up for himself. Maybe a bottle of milk and some bread? That would be good. He might pick up something for dinner, unless he was feeling lazy and just went to the pub. The food there was always nice.

“Hey Pastor McClain!” Called a voice.

Lance looked over the fence to see Pidge and Matt. Siblings that helped manage the motel and the liquor store next to it with their parents. They weren’t part of his congregation, but he still liked hanging out with them.

“Well if it isn’t the Holt siblings. When I’m not out the front with a bible in hand I’m just Lance.”

“Of course father.” Pidge said in an almost mocking tone. “What are you doing?”

“Sweeping and thinking about dinner. You?”

Matt shrugged. “Going for a walk. Parents want us to get some sunlight every now and then.”

“Yeah.” Muttered Pidge. “I crave my digital crap hole. Oh fuck, Probably shouldn’t fucking swear in front of you like that huh, Pastor Lance?”

Lance rolled his eyes and pretended to clutch at his rosary beads. “Pidge. Please repent and say three hail Mary’s for me please.”

“Fuck no.”

“Fair enough. I shall say a prayer for your soul.”

“Do what you wish.” Said Pidge.

Matt rolled his eyes. “Anyway, you need any more wine for communion?”

Lance shook his head. “Let me let you in on a little secret, I’ve been using grape juice for the past three months. Some of the people going to A.A are Catholic and feel bad about not being able to take part of communion. The only ones that know I made the switch are the people in A.A. I’m pretty sure some of the older people would be angry if they found out…”

Pidge snorted. “Probably. Fuck those people.”

“Pidge…” Said Lance in a warning tone.

“Frick.”

“Better.” Lance went and put his broom away. The siblings were still waiting outside and Lance happily walked with them into town. 

It was mid afternoon and there were a few people out and about. People, mostly the older people, nodded at Lance and gave him a brief greeting of; “Pastor.” Lance would smile at them and nod back, giving them light greetings of “Hello.” and “Lovely day.”

He parted ways with the siblings and wandered into the pub. It was the afternoon. He could afford to have a beer if he wanted to before going to get his groceries. The bartender nodded when Lance walked in. “Afternoon Pastor. Looking for a pint?”

“Yes please.” When Lance got his drink he headed to an empty table and happily drank it. He wasn’t going to drink too much today. Just one pint and then back to shopping. He’d only had a small mouthful when he heard the deep growl of motorbikes rolling by. It wasn’t unusual. Sometimes small groups of bikers would roll through town. Just people passing through the town on the way to the next destination.

The rumbling stopped outside the pub. Moments later a group of people five people walked in. All clad out in their biker leathers with lots and lots of patches… Right on the back of their jackets and or leather vests was the word Mamora stitched across the back at the top, a gnarly looking purple knife and the word America was stitched on the bottom. The group made their way to the bar and ordered a round of drinks for themselves and sat at a table.

Lance hadn’t heard of any group called Mamora before, so probably just a bunch of friends on a weekend trip. He went back to drinking. Suddenly one of the bikers walked over to him and put his hand on Lance’s table.

“Hey.” He muttered in a gruff voice.

Lance looked up at the man and raised an eyebrow. They looked to be about the same age as him. He didn’t look too bad either. The man had a very handsome face, even with the surprisingly large scar on his right cheek. Though the man seemed to be sporting a mullet.

“Hey.” Said Lance. “Can I help you with something?”

“Is this seat taken?”

“No. Go ahead.” Lance assumed that the man would just take the chair and go back over to the table with the rest of the bikers, since the table that they were at didn’t seem to have enough chairs.

Much to his surprise the man pulled the chair out and sat with him. Lance raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as he looked at the patches on the mant’s vest. He kind of wondered what most of the symbols on his jacket meant. There were a lot of variations of what looked like iron crosses… He really hoped that this wasn’t some kind of White Supremacy thing. Compared to a lot of small towns the racism here wasn’t that bad. It was mostly just the old people making some backhanded compliments.

“Gay.” Said the man.

“Huh?”

The man pointed to a red variation of the iron cross of his vest. “You were looking at it. It means I’m gay, or at least fucked a dude.”

“... Ah. So, which one means you killed a minority?” Lance cringed a little when he said that. He did have a bit of a habit of saying stupid things when he was in stressful situations. Kind of like this. Also, if this guy was actually part of a biker gang, not just a group of people going on a ride, he might be fucked.

Thankfully the man seemed to find it amusing. He chuckled and shook his head. “No we aren’t those kinds of people. I mean, like, half the people I ride with are minorities or some kind… You interested in learning about patches?”

“Um, kind of?”

“Well, here’s one you should memorize right off the bat.” He pointed to a diamond patch with 1% embroidered into it. “Means you’re dealing with an outlaw biker gang.”

“... Ah.” 

“Yep.” The man then pointed to a few other iron cross variations on his vest. “This one means I stole something from a dead body. This one means bravery and courage. Ace of spades means I’ll kill for my club and or I’ve already done it. This FTW patch? Fuck the World. Means absolute rebellion.”

Lance frowned a little and finished his drink. “You know, I can’t tell if you’re trying to intimidate me or impress me.”

“Maybe I’m trying to impress you with how intimidating I am?”

“You’re not doing a very good job of it.”

“Well shit. How do I turn this around?”

“Perhaps you could give me your name?”

“Keith.” He said. “And you?”

“Lance.” Replied Lance. “So Keith, do you make it a habit to hit on strangers when you first come to town?”

“Only on the cute ones.”

Lance chuckled. “You think I’m cute? Well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m already taken.” Yeah, Lance’s job as Pastor meant he couldn’t marry. Technically he could try and seek the right to marry but he really couldn’t see anyone in the church letting him get with a man. Closest he could get to being with a man was Jesus. Curse his bisexuality. He loved his religion but damn it was difficult sometimes when he had to deny part of himself to keep up appearances. Especially for the older folks.

Keith didn’t seem to like hearing that Lance was already taken. “Oh? Well I can treat you better.”

“Hmm, doubt it. But thanks for trying.” It sucked to turn a cutie like Keith down, but if he couldn’t take no for an answer then maybe he probably wouldn’t be good boyfriend material anyway. Plus there was the whole thing about Keith being in a biker gang to begin with. Not to mention the whole gay is wrong message a lot of people expressed, especially when it came from Catholics like himself.

Keith still didn’t seem happy with that answer. “Well I-”

“Pastor!” A man walked over to them, paying no mind to Keith as they spoke to Lance. “Is everything ready for Saturday?”

“Of course.” Said Lance. “Little Suzy’s baptism is all ready to go. You and your wife must be excited.”

“We are.” Said the man. “Her grandparents are very excited about it… Would you mind speaking a little louder than usual? The mother in law is starting to get a bit hard of hearing. She’s getting fitted for new hearing aids later in the month you see.”

“Of course.” Said Lance. “This is a very important event and I’ll do everything I can to make sure everyone can hear it very clearly.”

“Thanks Pastor. Much obliged.” They shuffled off and Lance finished his drink.

He looked back at Keith and couldn’t help but smile at the shocked look on his face. “What?”

“... Did he really just call you Pastor?” Asked Keith. “Like, you work at a church, kind of Pastor?”

“That’s right.” Said Lance. “I’m the Pastor. He stood up and smiled at him. “If you or your friends feel so inclined to confess to something my door’s always open. It was nice meeting you Keith. Please behave while you’re in town.” Lance quickly left the pub and went to get his groceries. He has no idea how long this gang was going to stay in town, but he hoped that they would leave soon.

***

Keith groaned in annoyance as he repeatedly headbutted the wall outside of the motel the Mamora gang had decided to stay in for the time being. Most of them had stayed outside to tune up their bikes or to drink. Though a fair few of them were outside purely to make fun of Keith.

One of the younger members of the group, Regris, happily stood next to Keith while smirking. “You hit on the Pastor.”

“I know…” Grumbled Keith.

“You hit on him so badly.” They cackled. “Wow… Holy shit man. That’s too fucking funny.”

“Go fuck a cactus.” He hissed.

Regris stuck out his tongue. “You’re such a baby.”

“I will end you.”

A man walked over to them. He was another member of the gang. He was by far one of the more friendly and approachable looking of the group. His name was Takashi Shirogane. Everyone called his Shiro. He was like a big brother to the younger members of Marmora. But just because he was kind didn’t mean he wasn’t brutal when it called for it. He didn’t have a skull and crossbones patch on his vest for nothing.

He just pulled Keith away from the wall, which earned some booing and hissing from the gang members that had gathered to watch Keith hurt himself. Shiro paid no mind to them and steered Keith into one of the motel rooms that they had occupied.

Once they were in there Shiro sat him down and patted his head in an almost condescending way. “Now, want to talk about what happened?”

Keith glared at him. “What do you mean? You were there? You saw him! He’s a Pastor! A fucking Pastor!”

Shiro rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Since when has that stopped you from going after what you wanted before?”

“... I appreciate your optimism, but I really doubt I’ll be able to go after a Pastor.” Said Keith calmly. “Fuck… Kolivan’s going to be so pissed off at me… I’m the one that suggested that we stop here because… He’s a Pastor? Holy shit.”

Shiro shrugged. “Well, it’s your own fault.”

“Fuck you.”

“It is… But what are you going to do now?” Asked Shiro. He sounded rather serious. Which, he was. Keith had been trying to convince Kolivan, the leader of their gang, to come to Garrison for the past three months. 

Kolivan didn’t see the point in going to such a small town. He wanted to keep going, but Keith has some ulterior motives for coming here. He needed to collect on a debt. It was going to be a challenge to do so when the man he was collecting from was so heavily religious.

“I don’t know.” Muttered Keith. “I’ll still try, but it’s going to be difficult to collect on this one. “I’ll have to think about it.”

“Okay…” Shiro dug his hands into his pockets and took a patch out, handing it over to him. “Here. Got this for you at the last town. Thought of you when I saw it. Plus I thought you could relax a little when you stitched it on.” The patch said; _Don’t follow me. I’m lost too._

Keith took it from him and chuckled. “Nice. Been looking for a new patch. I’ll stick it right between Men of Mayhem, and Bad Influence.”

“Nice.” Shiro ruffled Keith’s hair, paying no mind when his fingers bumped roughly over the small bony protrusions on Keith’s skull. He hissed and flashed his fangs at Shiro, but Shiro just flashed his fangs right back. “Don’t be such a baby. If you can’t handle your horns getting bumped every once in a while do you really think you can still ride with us? Just figure out how to get yourself that Pastor you so desperately begged Kolivan to come here for.”

Keith pouted and shrugged off his vest. “Yeah, yeah. I know… I’ll figure something out…”

“You better. If you don’t make some kind of progress in a few days Kolivan’s going to make us clear out and go to a more populated town… You might be the youngest demon among us, but you’re not earning any respect if you can’t collect.”

“I know…” He patted himself down and frowned. “I think my sewing kit fell out of my pocket… Can I borrow yours?”

Shiro handed his over and gave him a soft smile. “Look. It’s fine… I just don’t want you to do something stupid. You just… I really can’t believe that you’re trying to collect on a Pastor. You really know how to pick them.”

“Hey Shiro, shut the fuck up.” Growled Keith. Shiro just laughed and walked out of the room. He probably went to tell Kolivan what was up. Keith just ignored him and stitched on his new patch.


	95. Curtains up (POTO AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The show starts and our mute boy is stressing more so than Lance, who is anxious af. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The Phantom hit the last note and held it for as long as he could. He smiled over at Lance. “And with that, that’s the end of our music lessons.” He said.

Lance grinned. “Heck yeah! You’ve been a huge help.”

“Don’t mention it. Just remember to stay away from anything with lactose an hour or so before the performance and remember to warm up with vocal exercises before you go on.” Said The Phantom. “You’re going to do so well.”

Lance chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Aw, thanks man. You’re the real star here. If it wasn’t for you I’d still be mediocre.”

They chuckled and grinned. “You’ll do fine. I look forward to seeing you perform.”

Lance grinned. “Aw, thanks man. So you’re going to see it?”

“Yes.”

“That’s awesome.”

The Phantom smiled at him as they adjusted their mask ever so slightly. “I really want to see how all that hard work has been paid off… What are you going to do after all this?”

Lance shrugged. “Well, mama’s probably going to put me back on evening shifts at the coffee shop. She’ll probably ask if I want to get a degree in something again. I’m good with just selling coffee. Never really been too interested in anything other than musical theater… Also gotta plan a good date for my boyfriend.”

“Oh? You have a boyfriend now?” Asked The Phantom. “Anyone I know.”

“Keith.”

“The Janitor?” Asked the Phantom. He chuckled a little and started to pack up the sheet music on the piano. “You can do better than him.”

Lance rolled his eyes, instantly unimpressed. “Seriously? You’re one of those people? You don’t even know him. Sure he’s quiet, but I know he is trying and I like him a lot. Keith’s really sweet… I’m trying to get better at sign language for him. He deserves someone that can understand him without having to read his texts all the time.”

The Phantom seemed surprised. “I didn’t mean it like that… and yeah, I guess I’m not very… I don’t really know him that well… I was just wondering what the two of you have in common. The man is very introverted and you, you’re clearly not.”

Lance shrugged and sat on the edge of the stage. “I just like him. Keith is sweet… I’m just having trouble trying to figure out what he might like to do for a date. Literally the first three things that came to my mind here; themepark, going shopping, and hanging out at my house…”

“The last one doesn’t sound too bad.”

Lance chuckled a little. “Keith doesn’t seem to do well around lots of new people. I currently live with my parents and twin sister. My older sister and older brothers come on and out of the house all the time and so do my nieces and nephews… I think meeting too many people at once might upset him.”

The Phantom sat next to Lance and tapped his fingers against the side of the stage. “That’s very considerate of you… He’ll appreciate anything you do with him.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah… Someone like him… He probably would appreciate just spending time with you.” Said The Phantom. “I liked spending time with you.”

Lance smiled at him and lightly nudged his shoulder. “I liked spending time with you too. Have I earned the chance to know what your name is? Maybe see your face?”

The Phantom froze up and looked away from him. “Um… Listen, I liked listening to you sing but I… I can’t just… I’m sorry.”

Lance sighed sadly. He knew better then to try and push someone that was introverted and guarded. If the Phantom didn’t want him to tell him who he was then well… It’s not like Lance could force him to. Though he did feel like he kind of earned his trust. Lance got up and grabbed his bag that he just tossed onto one of the front row seats.

“Later Phantom… I guess I might see you around.”

“Yeah. See you around Lance.” Said The Phantom quietly. “Lance I… I know you’re going to do well. I’ll be watching you.”

Lance smiled a little and waved at him. “Later.” He left the theatre.

***

Keith groaned in annoyance. He should have taken his mask off and told Lance that he was The Phantom. That he was the one that Lance was getting singing lessons from. He wanted to tell him. Fuck he really wanted to, but he couldn’t. He was too anxious and scared.

If Lance knew that he was Keith, then he might break up with him for tricking him for so long. It was scary. No one had ever asked him to be his boyfriend before. He doubted that anyone in highschool even considered dating him even in a joking manner. He was really scared that Lance would get angry that he couldn’t talk to him without a stupid mask. That he had to pretend to be someone else to interact with him.

Keith quickly packed everything up, finished cleaning and waited outside for Shiro to come and pick him up. His brother pulled up and Keith got in. Shiro could immediately tell that something was wrong with his little brother.

“Is everything okay?” He asked.

“Lance…” Muttered Keith.

“Didn’t you say you two were dating now?” Asked Shiro. “Oh… did he have second thoughts?”

“No…” Said Keith quietly. “D-didn’t want to keep pretending I’m s-someone else… Couldn’t do it. Coward…”

“You’re not a coward.” Said Shiro calmly. “I get that you feel bad not being able to tell him you’ve been giving him singing lessons, but it could be a lot worse? Like, Lance could have asked your phantom persona out?”

“Yeah…” Keith sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Opening night was the next day, but Lance would be performing during the first matinee performance the day after. He wanted to see Lance perform it first. He didn’t care if the leading lady was Allura or Nyma. He wanted to see Lance performing as Bert. He wanted to be a supportive boyfriend.

Speaking of being supportive, should he be getting Lance a gift for finishing his first performance? He had seen some people give flowers. But they usually gave flowers to the girls. He didn’t know what to get Lance, or if he should get him anything. Would Lance be upset if he didn’t get him anything? He didn’t want Lance to be upset with him. He wanted Lance to be happy with him. 

Yeah, he knew it was a stretch asking for someone to actually like him the way Lance seemed to like him. He was pushing his luck, but he wanted Lance to stay with him and not for like a few weeks and then get tired of him because he was an anxious mess. Maybe he should consider seeing a therapist or something?

“Are you okay there Keith?” Asked Shiro.

Keith shrugged. “I.. I want to get a gift… For Lance.”

“Oh? For after his performance?” Asked Shiro. Keith nodded. “That’s a really good idea. You have no idea what to get him, do you.”

“N-not a clue.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Said Shiro. “It’ll be nice. He’ll love whatever you give him.”

Keith nodded and nervously played with a thread on his shirt. He didn’t know what Lance would like. Maybe he’d like something related to the musical? An umbrella with a parrot head handle? He had no idea where to even get one of those. Maybe he could find a nice looking pin online? But that might take too long to get shipped to him. It was annoying. He had no idea what to do. Lance was… He was perfect.

***

The first evening show went off without a hitch to rave reviews. Allura and Lotor knocked it out of the park again. It made Lance feel a little nervous. It was hard to live up to those expectations. Everyone loved those two. Nyma gave him a quick pep talk and well, it kind of worked. 

He psyched himself up for the stage and it surprisingly worked. Lance was acting on adrenaline the whole time. He was worried he was going to mess up, but Lance did pretty well. He loved the adrenaline that pumped through his veins when the lights were on him. 

He happily sang and spun Nyma around, linked arms with the other chimney sweeps during the big “Step in time” number. It was a lot of fun. That adrenaline buzz didn’t even when it was all over and the actors were taking a bow.

Lance was still riding that high when he walked off stage and went to change out of his costume. Before he left he happened to see Keith nervously standing to the side in his janitorial clothes. He looked like he was getting ready to clean up when everyone had cleared out. His eyes lit up a little when he saw Lance and he waved slightly.

Lance grinned and happily went over to him. “Hey Keith. Did you watch it?”

Keith nodded and quickly signed a few things. Lance didn’t really know what he was saying, but he caught a few words; Good, like, voice, and happy. He didn’t really know the context of everything, but he felt like he enjoyed the performance. Keith then pushed a box into Lance’s hands. 

“Huh? Is this for doing a good job?” He asked. Keith nodded and Lance opened it up. It was a large mug that said; Practically Perfect in Every Way. Printed on the side. It even had a little parrot umbrella printed on it too. It was so cute. Lance grinned. “Aw Keith, I love it. Can I hug you?”

Keith went bright red at the request but nodded and opened his arms. Lance quickly went in for a hug. It was quick, but he gave Keith a quick squeeze. He felt Keith’s hands lightly touching his back too. It was nice. It was a soft and hesitant touch, but it was nice.

He quickly pulled back and grinned. “Look, I know it’s very sudden, and you can say no if you want, but my family’s gonna go out for lunch now, do you want to come with us?”

“...” Keith shook his head and gestured to the fact that he was wearing his uniform. Clearly intent on working right now instead of going with him.

Lance smiled at him. “No problem. I totally get it. Text me when you’re done with work? I wanna talk to you tonight.”

Keith smiled a little and nodded. He was too cute for his own good. Lance kind of wanted to squish his cheeks and kiss him, but he was pretty sure his boyfriend wouldn’t appreciate anymore PDA after getting hugged.

“Okay Keith. I’ll text you later.” He happily left backstage and almost dropped his mug when his niece and nephew ran into him. “Whoa, easy there!”

“Uncle Lance!” Squealed Nadia. “That was amazing! You were so good!”

“How did you do that little spinny thing?” Asked Sylvio.

His mama clapped her hands to get their attention. “Alright, leave your uncle alone. You can ask him all the questions you like at Lunch. Okay?” That seemed to placate the squealing adolescents for the moment and they started talking to their own mama about wanting to eat cake and burgers for lunch.

As that was happening, Lance’s sister, Veronica, came up behind him and looked at the mug. “What do you have there?”

“Hmm, just a present.” He said. 

“From who? Nyma for not stepping on her toes? Coran for singing in tune?” She teased.

“No I got it from my…” He quickly glanced over at his family, who were distracted by the kids and whispered to her. “My boyfriend.”

Veronica raised an eyebrow but kept her voice low. “Oh? Since when did this happen?”

“A few days ago. He’s a little shy and has anxiety. I want to slowly introduce him to the family because well...” He looked over at Marco who playfully slapped Rachel’s arm. Rachel then punched him in the arm. “That.”

“... Yeah, that’s fair enough.” Muttered Veronica. “Try and introduce him to mama and papi first.”

“Planning to.” Muttered Lance. “We’re going to do more couple things after the musical is over.”

“Sounds nice… Who is he? One of the theater guys?”

“He’s the Janitor.”

“Really?” Asked Veronica. “I thought the proper term was custodian?”

“... Probably. I should probably ask him what his job title is actually called.”

“Yeah, probably.” She wrapped her arm around Lance’s shoulder and grinned. “Well, enough about that. Let’s go and get some lunch! I want to get my hands on those tasty, tasty curly fries!”


	96. More gifts for you (Royal AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our poor Duke keeps dumping things onto Lance, then outsources help from Shiro... Yeah, like that's going to turn out well... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance immediately noticed that everyone in Yurak’s house was acting a little different around him now that Yurak was courting him. The maids would grin and giggle slightly behind his back and the male workers would slyly smirk at him. They obviously knew that Yurak was starting to court Lance, and Lance wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Back on Altea he was on the other side of it all. He was the one seeing the members of the royal court dancing around each other and courting. No one had ever liked Lance enough to try and court him before. He was used to watching on the sidelines and making funny quips and jokes about failed courting attempts. It was weird being the center of attention for once.

Yurak was very slowly moving closer to Lance. He was very slightly closing the distance between them and was always leaving little bits of jewelry for him. He seemed to really like giving Lance bracelets. Mostly fancy leather looking things with beads threaded through them. It was pretty.

When Lance went for a walk in the garden just to have some fresh air, he was pretty sure that Yurak was stalking him. He had no idea if this was part of Galra courting or if Yurak was just weird. Maybe he was paranoid. He was still having difficulty reading Galran, so he couldn’t just read up on Galra courting practices. It was annoying.

He would look one way and then quickly look around to see if anyone was following him. He would occasionally see the tip of Yurak’s tail quickly vanishing behind a tree or bush. Yeah, Yurak was following him.

Lance sat down by a small pond and looked down at the fish swimming in there. They were really, really big with eyes as large as fists. It was both impressive and massively scary. Their scales were dark purple with hints of bright blue. Okay, it was pretty but scary as hell.

“Deku fish.” Said Yurak.

Lance yelped and almost fell into the pond. “Holy fuck! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Sorry!” Squeaked Yurak. “I just… I was just telling you what kind of fish they are…”

“... Okay.” He looked down at the deku fish happily swimming around the pond. “It’s big.”

“Yeah. That’s about as big as they get.” Said Yurak. “... It’s a freshwater deku. It’s said they can live for ten thousand deca-phoebs.”

“... Oh wow. That’s one old fish.” 

“Yeah. The deku fish are a protected species here.” Said Yurak. “The house came with it. Even if no one lived here then the emperor would pay for workers to keep the pond clean and the fish fed.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah.” Yurak leaned forward and slapped his hand against the water a few times. The deku fish swam up to him and Yurak gave the scaly fellow a few pats. The fish bobbed in the water a few times and its gills fluttered in happiness. “Want to pat them?”

“Will it bite?”

“Only if you stick your hand in its mouth.”

Lance frowned a little, but patted the fish. The fish continued to flutter their gills and acted very happy. Their scales weren’t rough persay, but kind of well textured? It was nice. He enjoyed it. He kind of liked it. When the fish got tired of this they happily turned around and happily swam into the depths of the pond, but the shimmer of the blue scales made it very visible. 

“Wow… They really like pats huh?”

Yurak nodded. “Yeah. They are really sweet fish. Very smart. They like getting pats because it helps rub off some of the pond scum or parasites they get between their scales.”

“Huh, alright.”

“Yeah…” Yurak scooted a little closer to Lance so they were shoulder to shoulder. His tail flicked around excitedly, occasionally flicking against Lance’s back. He seemed to be getting bolder with his actions. “So… Um… Are you going back to Altea soon?”

“Allura’s decreed that I’m to stay for a bit longer.”

“Oh? Really?” Yurak seemed very happy about that.

“Yeah.” Lance was more than happy to leave out that she was letting him stay there so that they could continue courting. That would probably encourage him a little more than what he was comfortable with at the moment. “So were you stalking me?”

Yurak’s fur puffed up and he quickly looked away from him. “I-I wasn’t following you… I just happened to be outside when you were outside and I wanted to give you some privacy while making sure that you weren’t… I was just making sure you were okay…” They held Lance’s wrist and tied a new bracelet to it. “Courting gift.”

“Thanks.” It was a pretty silver bracelet this time.

Yurak smiled and lightly rubbed his shoulder up against Lance’s arm. “... You aren’t wearing the necklaces or earrings… Are they not something you like?”

“It isn’t that. I just… I don’t really wear much jewelry in general. My job kind of means everything will get all tangled up.” Said Lance. “If I need to dress up or something I’d usually put on body paint.”

Yurak tilted his head in confusion. “Body paint? What is body paint?”

“It’s like paint, but made to go on your body.” Explained Lance.

“Do you… Do you prefer body paint?”

“Kind of. Why?”

“... No reason.” Muttered Yurak. He seemed to be thinking about something, but Lance didn’t know what about. It kind of worried him that Yurak would do something stupid.

***

When Lance had gone back inside to try and learn to read Galran, Yurak slipped off to his office and talked to Shiro. He knew it was Shiro’s day off so he could help him out. Maybe. He wasn’t too sure. He hoped he would be able to. He sat at his desk and called up the man.

“Are you free to talk now Shiro?” Asked Yurak.

_“Oh sure. I was just catching up on some TV.”_ Said Shiro. _“What’s up?”_

“Have you heard of body paint?” He asked. “Do we even have body paint on Dibazzel?”

_“Um… I’m not sure. I know that we have paint. Why?”_

Yurak shrugged. “Lance said he liked body paint. I want to give him body paint. He said he liked it more than jewelry because it won’t fall off when he does his fool routine… I want him to wear nice things and feel good when wearing them.”

_“... I have an idea, give me a moment and I’ll get back to you.”_ Said Shiro. _“Don’t do something stupid.”_

Yurak huffed and ended the call. He had no idea what Shiro was doing, but he hoped that it meant that he could get his hands on body paint and give it to Lance. If Lance wore body paint then did that mean he would have to disrobe? Yurak’s fur puffed up as he thought of Lance undressing in front of him and asking him to help paint his body. It made heat start to pool in his stomach.

He groaned and shook his head. Now was not the time to suddenly get hard. He wasn’t even in his room, and he wasn’t pathetic enough to get horny over just a passing thought of Lance’s smooth, soft, flawless, sun kissed skin… Yurak headbutted the desk and groaned. This was stupid. He hated it. Why did Lance have to be so fucking hot?

***

Shiro thought about this long and hard about this. He was probably going to get completely reamed by doing this, but yeah. He probably needed to do this. With a slight pang of nervousness, he called Adam.

_“Oh wow, you actually decided to call me.”_ Said Adam in a monotone voice. _“Have the stars finally aligned? Have wigwannas grown wings and started to fly?”_

Shiro felt guilty. “I know, I know. I am really, really sorry. Work has been kind of crazy trying to make sure that Prince Lotor and Princess Allura had enough security…”

_“You fucked me and left.”_ Said Adam coldly. 

“Yeah…”

_“I haven’t heard from you.”_

“I know…”

_“For two movements.”_ He muttered. _“Two movements… Am I a joke to you Shiro?”_

“What? No.” Shiro’s ears pressed back against his head and he felt completely guilty. This was his fault. He hadn’t been very good at keeping in contact with Adam. He was never good at keeping relationships. Sure he was nice enough and people did like him, but no one was ever really close to him, apart from Yurak. “Look, I’m really sorry. I’m not good at this. I… I really like you, and I don’t really know how relationships work. I don’t… I’ve never been with anyone before.”

Adam scoffed at that. _“Yeah, sure.”_

“It’s true.” Reassured Shiro. “By Galra standards I’m above average at best, but I’m still not super impressive. You’re the first person I’ve ever been with…”

_“... Wait, you were a virgin before that night?”_

“Yeah?” Shiro became confused. “Do Alteans not like partners without experience? Did I cross some cultural line?”

Adam was quiet for a moment. _“I just didn’t expect that you were… I didn’t think that… I would have thought that someone like yourself would have had at least one or two partners before me…”_

“No…” Shiro was quickly starting to feel inadequate. Perhaps Adam was realizing how terrible Shiro really was in bed and it wasn’t just because he was a Galra? This was not going to end well for him at all. “L-look… I just… I get it. I’m awful. I don’t really know how to balance my free time and my work life very well…”

Adam sighed a little. _“Fine, I guess I accept your apology for now… But this is your only warning.”_

“Fair… Can you please help me with something?”

_“Sure.”_

“... Yurak is trying to court Lance and wants to give him body paint. We don’t have body paint here. I don’t know what would be safe to use on an Altean’s skin, so… Can you help? Please?”

_“I don’t know… We haven’t started trade between planets yet… This could be tricky…”_

“I’ll be grateful if you did.” Said Shiro. “I’ll do whatever you want the next time we meet.”

_“Those are dangerous words Shiro. You shouldn’t say them lightly.”_

“I know…” Said Shiro quietly.

_“Look, I’ll see what I can do… But you better do something nice for me when we meet up again.”_

“Of course.” Said Shiro quickly. “If we meet here I’ll take you somewhere very, very nice.”

_“You better.”_

“Yeah…” Shiro nervously picked at a loose thread on his pants. “Adam, you know I like you, right? I do have feelings for you, I’m just really stupid.”

_“... I know Shiro… I like you too. A lot. That’s why I’m so upset you didn’t call sooner.”_

“I’m sorry… I’ll do better I swear.” He meant it too. He was going to call Adam more often. He was going to be a good… Whatever the hell they were. Boyfriends? Lovers? Partners? He had no idea. He didn’t know what they were supposed to be calling each other at this point. Shiro would be whatever Adam wanted them to be. He cared a lot about him. He wanted to hold him and cuddle him but he… It was going to take a while for borders to be opened up.

_“I know… And I’ll try calling you more too.”_

“Thank you.”

_“Yeah. I’ll go and figure out your body paint situation. Talk to you tomorrow?”_

“Of course. Bye Adam.”

_“Bye Shiro.”_

Shiro hung up and sighed. He needed to be a better person for Adam. Maybe when travel was opened up between their planets he could take a movement or two of his accumulated holidays to go back to Altea? That would be nice.


	97. Letters to the wicche (Witch AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of silly moments and Keith trying to be a good master for his Selkie... His Selkie that is randomly flopping around just being a fat seal. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith noticed a change in Lance’s behaviour after he had finished his order. The selkie just seemed tired and hardly made noise when he rolled around the house anymore. He mostly just lied down on the stone floor and lightly slapped at the ground. Either that or he would swim around outside or sleep on the riverbank.

He could have been sleepy or something, but Keith was a little worried. Was this some kind of selkie depression? Did his selkie have depression? What the hell was he meant to do about that? Keith didn’t really do well with feelings.

He packed up the last of the daggers and throwing knives back into the box and fastened the lid on with some twine. He’d have to drop it off back at the main forge for pick up later that week if he wanted to get paid. Keith looked down at Lance who was in his seal form. He seemed to be trying to make himself as round as possible before he stretched out and made himself very long. It was amusing.

“Are you okay there?” He asked.

“Rah.” Rumbled Lance as he just flopped down on the ground.

It made Keith sigh. He sat down next to Lance and awkwardly patted him. “Um… You seem a little stressed and stuff. Do you um… Do you need something? Like salt water?”

Lance sighed and sat up. He pulled off his seal skin and sighed again. “Just a little homesick. That’s all. Don’t worry about it. Like, don’t get me wrong, your place is awesome and I really like it… But it’s just… It isn’t the same. You know?”

“Yeah, I get it.” Said Keith. “Um… Sorry I don’t live closer to the sea…”

“It’s okay…” Said Lance quietly. It was obvious that this wasn’t okay with the selkie.

Keith frowned a little as he tried to think about what to do. He wanted Lance to feel better but he wasn’t sure how to do it. He couldn’t just up and leave for the ocean unless he absolutely had to or was sent there for some reason. This was… troublesome. But maybe if they went to the beach then Lance could gather some things to make living with him a little more tolerable? It couldn’t hurt.

“Hey Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you enjoy going down to the village?”

Lance smiled and nodded. “Yeah. It’s nice. People there are starting to recognise me. Sometimes if I help the baker or butcher they will give me some salt.”

“Oh really? Is that why you’re getting back late when I ask you to go and get stuff for me?”

Lance shrugged. “Well you never said anything about not helping people.”

“It’s fine. I was just curious… You look kind of dry.”

“Yeah, I feel kind of dry too.” Muttered Lance as he rubbed his cheek. “Yeah, I’m going to go have a swim.”

“You go ahead and do that.” When Lance wandered outside Keith went back to his workbench. He took out a sheet of parchment, grabbed his inkwell and quill, and started to write out a letter.

_Dear Shiro,_   
_I was wondering if you could send me an official letter to send me to the ocean. I don’t really care what the reason is. It just needs to be official so I don’t get a bunch of work when I get back. Lance is feeling homesick and I thought it might be good to get some things from the ocean to make him feel better. Plus I read somewhere that Selkies want to return to the ocean. I don’t want Lance to feel like he’s trapped here. I’d really appreciate it._   
_Humble regards, Keith._

When he was done he read the letter over a few times to make sure that this was what he wanted to say to him. It seemed good enough. Keith quickly cracked his knuckles and folded the parchment into a swan. He walked outside and blew on the origami bird. The swan twitched and turned its neck a few times. It wiggled its wings and took off into the sky. It should make its way to Shiro within the hour.

While he waited Keith decided to lie down on the hillside and warm up in the sun. He had spent a lot of his manna up on his knife order for the crown. He found that staying warm and out in the sun helped to recharge his manna when he was really drained. Sure he could go ahead and make a manna potion to refill it himself, but he didn’t like the taste. It always tasted like slimy licorice. It was gross.

He closed his eyes and let the heat from the sun warm him and rejuvenate him. He hummed softly and let the heat slowly build back up inside him. He felt his fingers and toes tingling as the rest of the world melted away and all he could hear was his heartbeat and the only thing he could feel was his manna slowly replenishing. If he was a better wicche he wouldn’t have to do this. He could just take a nape and have a bit of food or drink, then he would be ready to go again. It was kind of annoying, but he could reach that level eventually if he tried hard enough.

His almost meditative state was broken when he heard the sound of something fluttering. Keith opened his eyes to see an origami mandarin bird flying over to him. Keith reached up and grabbed it. He yawned a little and rubbed his eyes. He felt groggy and didn’t know how much time had passed.

He opened up the origami bird and saw that it was two sheets of parchment. The first one looked like a cover letter from Shiro.

_Dear Lesser Arcane Weapons Master, Keith Kogane_   
_You are being tasked to travel to the fishing village of Saltwall that sits along the Gem Sea. When you get there you are to take inventory and record any and all weaponry with magical properties and mark them as active or inactive. Present the document enclosed to the village elder/mayor/chieftain to acknowledge that this inventory is legal and sanctioned by the crown._   
_Regards, Regional head Wicche, Takashi Shirogane_

Keith looked at the second sheet of parchment. It was the usual royal document that told whoever was in charge to let them do their thing. He would have to keep this close to himself until he presented it to whoever was in charge of Saltwall. He carefully folded the document in half and noticed a smaller piece or parchment stuck to the back of it. Keith carefully peeled it off and read it. It was a note from Shiro.

_Can you also bring back some conch shells and some seaweed?_

He tucked the letters into his robe and looked down to the water’s edge to see if Lance was around. He quickly spotted the seal quietly stalking a duck. Lance probably hadn’t seen a duck before. Maybe a seagull but not a duck.

“Lance!” He called.

The selkie quickly looked up at him. “Haaaaaaarh?” He rumbled.

“We’re going to the ocean tomorrow!”

Lance’s eyes went wide and he quickly climbed out of the river, pulling off the seal skin as he did. He grinned at him and practically jumped onto Keith’s lap. “Really? Are we really going to? Why?”

“Just some stuff I need to do.” Said Keith. “Really simple stuff. You can play in the ocean while I’m there.”

“Thank you so much.” He seemed extremely excited to be able to go back to the ocean for a while. “Which one are we going to?”

“Um… Do you know the Gem sea? We’re going there. Specifically a village called Saltwall.”

Lance gasped in shock. “Know it? That’s where my Papa lives!”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yes! I’m so excited! I usually only see him once or twice a year!” Said Lance. “Can we go now? I’m so excited!”

“Woah there Lance. We have to pack some stuff, and I need to drop off the knives before we go.”

“Hurry up and do it!” Whined Lance as he pulled at Keith’s robe. “I wanna see my papa! I wanna get back in the ocean! I wanna go back home!”

“Don’t worry.” Said Keith in a reassuring manner. “We will get there. I’ll drop the knives off now and we’ll prepare some previsions to get going first thing in the morning. What do you say?”

Lance grinned. He grabbed Keith’s face and kissed him. Right on the mouth. When he pulled back, the Selkie looked a little worried. “Are you okay?”

“Why did you kiss me?”

“Oh, when Mama and Papa see each other again after they have been apart for so long they kiss each other on the mouth. Mama said it’s a human custom to kiss the people that make you really, really happy. I thought since you were human you would appreciate it?”

Keith could feel his face burning in embarrassment. “Kissing someone like that… That’s what lovers do…”

“Oh… Oops.” Muttered Lance. “So, does this mean we’re lovers now?”

“What? No. Just be careful who you kiss like that… Even if they do make you really happy.”

“... Sounds dumb, but fine… I’m gonna go and pack stuff to show my papa!” Lance quickly climbed off of Keith and ran back inside. Keith groaned and rubbed his face. He couldn’t believe that Lance just kissed him and he got a bunch of fish scales on his lips.


	98. Aftercare (Camboys AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final part of the camboy's AU. I'm glad you guys liked this AU. It was really fun to just write a silly smut AU. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was seven at night when OceanQueen5 sent out his latest notification to his followers. Lately he had been uploading a lot more frequently. It was nice for everyone involved. Especially those that thought Ocean was down right sexy.

**OceanQueen5**  
_Gonna start livestreaming soon! New location! New toys! New person!_

When Ocean started his livestream he was happily sitting in a different room. His pretty blue wig was slightly curled and his eyeshadow was on point like always. Ocean still had his mask on his face. He happily waved at the camera as he adjusted the silk robe on his shoulders.

“Hey everyone.” He said. “So a few things to talk about before I get started. Firstly, I’m going to be streaming more. I finally got my shit together so now I’ve got a proper schedule going and everything. Secondly, you might notice I’m in a different location! I’m currently streaming from my boyfriend’s house.” That got several people asking questions.

**JajaBonks**  
_Boyfriend?_

**Nixnoxnux**  
_When did you get a boyfriend?_

**WumbleBumble**  
_Does he treat you well?_

**Aweome_Username**  
_Boyfriend?_

**NotAPornbot**  
_Is he a Sugar daddy?_

Ocean giggled and shook their head. “No, no, no. They aren’t my sugar daddy or anything like that. They know I do cam shows. In fact they also do this kind of stuff. You might have seen them or know some of their work.” He looked somewhere off camera. “Hey babe? Can you come here for a second?”

A few seconds later a pair of legs clad in black skinny jeans came into view. “Yeah babe? You started streaming right?”

“Yep. Just wanted to show everyone that you’re real and have cute legs.” Ocean happily wrapped one arm around his lover’s thigh to keep him there. He winked at the camera. “Doesn’t he have cute thighs? Hit butt’s really nice too. Even when it’s all covered in these dumb jeans.”

“I thought you liked my dumb jeans?”

“I do, but you look sexier when you’re not wearing them. Now you’re stuck here with me.” 

“Fine. But I’m drinking my tea while you stream.”

“That’s fair enough.” Ocean looked back at the camera and grinned. “So guys, do you want to know anything else?”

**Nixnoxnux**  
_What’s his name?_

“My boyfriend’s name?” He looked up. “Hey babe? Can I plug your stuff?”

“Sure. Free advertising is free advertising.”

“He’s RedDesert.”

**WumbleBumble**  
_What’s Red drinking?_

“Red? What tea are you drinking?” Asked Ocean.

Red hummed a little and audibly sipped his tea. “Apple cinnamon tea.”

“Yummy. Can I have some?”

“After the stream.”

**WumbleBumble**  
_Give him tea!_

**Nixnoxnux**  
_Give him tea!_

**JajaBonks**  
_Give him tea!_

**Panty_Raider**  
_Give him tea!_

**NotAPornbot**  
_Give him tea!_

**TotallyAPornBot**  
_Give him tea!_

“Everyone wants you to give me tea.” Cooed Ocean as he happily poked at Red’s pants.

“Well if you want tea you can get it yourself.”

Ocean rolled his eyes. “You’re mean. Red is so mean to me. Anyway, Red has been nice enough to take some photos of me and some videos. When he’s done editing the photos I’ll release them. Should be done sometime this week. Right babe?”

“Hmm, should have the first half done by Wednesday evening.”

“Nice.” He hummed happily and ran his hands along Red’s pants. He seemed a little distracted by said pants for a few moments before they seemed to remember that they were still streaming. “A-anyway. Back to the stream!” He waved back at the camera. “Sorry guys. I’m not ignoring you I swear! Red’s just been so good to me lately. So you guys wanna see my new favourite toy?”

**Panty_Raider**  
_Yes please!_

**TotallyAPornBot**  
_Is it a new butt plug?_

**SinfulFox**  
_Hope it’s some knotted toy <3 <3 <3_

Ocean giggled a little at the comments and unzipped Red’s pants. Red just sighed reluctantly and let Ocean pull his cock out. He wasn’t hard yet, but he certainly wasn’t completely flaccid. With a little lube and a few strokes Red’s cock was fully erect.

**Nicnoxnux**  
_Is that a piercing?_

“Yep. Red has a dick piercing.” Said Ocean. “I love it. Still love all the toys but if I had to choose between them and Red’s dick, then I’m gonna choose Red’s dick every time.”

“Love how you’re talking about me like I’m not even here.” Said Red.

“Oh hush love. You’re drinking tea. Do you really want to be more involved right now?”

Red reached down so that everyone could see his hand clad in leather fingerless gloves. He tilted Ocean’s chin up so he was looking at him off screen. “If you let go of my leg I’ll go and grab that face mask you bought for me and fuck you stupid. Then I might fuck you with my own dick. If I feel like it. Might even cum in you too.”

That got the attention of most people and tips started to roll in. Everyone seemed to be really excited to see Red fuck Ocean’s ass after loosening it up with some of his toys. Some were tipping and said they would tip more if they could see Red creampie Ocean’s ass.

Well, neither of them could say no to that. Ocean’s fans were very, very generous and Ocean was more than happy to give them what they wanted. Ocean let Red go to grab his face mask and a few toys. Tonight was going to be fun.

***

Keith groaned as he thrusted into Lance’s ass. He slowly pulled out and spread Lance’s cheeks for the camera so his followers could see his cum running out of Lance’s stretched hole. Lance was completely spent. His limbs were all jelly and he looked completely out of it. Well, Keith refused to move him up to a bigger toy until he came at least once. So Keith made Lance cum at least four times before he fucked him. Lance was completely blissed out.

He chuckled a little as he watched the tips rolling in. Everyone seemed to love how hard Keith went on him. But now Lance needed to rest. “Thanks for tuning into OceanQueen5’s stream.” He said. “He’ll be back next week. I might join in too depending on work. Later.” 

He turned off the stream, powered down the computer, and started on Lance’s aftercare. He took off Lance’s wig and facemask. After that Keith went to run him a bath. The two of them had worked out a system to be supportive boyfriends despite the mildly annoying 2 hour travel distance. Lance, being better at video editing than Keith, would edit some of his videos and in return Keith would edit, and sometimes take photos of Lance. They were happy about it. It worked.

Everyone was a little surprised by their relationship, but everyone assumed that they met and felt something for each other when Keith came up to meet up with Shiro. Both Lance and Keith felt that it was better that way than confessing that they are both dumb, horny bastards.

He helped Lance into the bath and let him soak for a few minutes before he patted his head. “Hey love? Can you take your contacts out for me?”

“Hmm, yeah sure. Pass me the container things.”

Keith chuckled a little and grabbed it for him and let Lance take his contacts out. He passed the container back to him. When Keith put them back on the edge of the sink and sat next to him. “Do you need anything Lance? Some bath salts? A bath bomb?”

“Hmm, the vanilla bath bomb and a cup of the apple cinnamon tea please?”

“Sure.” He kissed Lance’s cheek and opened the cabinet under the sink. “Um… Which one’s the vanilla one?”

“The one that looks like a white flower.”

“Got it.” Keith tossed it to Lance and went off to make Lance a cup of tea.

As he walked into the lounge room to where Kosmo was happily lounging around in his dog bed. He looked up at Keith and wagged his tail. He quickly trotted over to him and sniffed him a lot.

Keith rolled his eyes a little at his curious pup and gestured to the bathroom. “Go find Lance. Go get him boy. Go get Lance.”

The pup tilted his head for a moment before he jumped a little and happily ran off to the bathroom. A few seconds later Keith heard Lance’s delighted squeal when he obviously spotted Kosmo. It made Keith grin. He turned the kettle on and walked back to the bedroom to grab the toys used that night to stick in the dishwasher to clean. Nothing they used had any electronics in it or would get wrecked with water, so it was all good.

By the time he loaded the dishwasher the kettle had boiled and Keith made Lance his drink. He walked back to the bathroom to see Kosmo happily wagging his tail while Lance was patting him. He looked up at Keith and grinned. 

“Hey. Is that my tea?”

“Yep.” Keith handed the tea over to Lance and sat on the toilet. Kosmo happily took up residency on the bathmat. He chuckled a little at them and watched Lance happily sip his tea. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah. You really made me work for those tips tonight.”

Keith shrugged. “What can I say? I got a little carried away when people started to egg me on. You didn’t seem to be complaining much when I was pumping that ribbed dildo into you.”

Lance groaned. “Hmm, it felt amazing, but holy shit. I don’t think I’ll ever need to ask for a fuck machine if you can hold me down and pump that into me. Do you have any setting other than fast?”

“I didn’t thrust it into you that fast.”

“Lies.” Grumbled Lance. “You went from fast to ludicrous speed!”

Keith rolled his eyes and took out his phone. “You did very well… Shit, you almost got nine thousand in tips.”

“Fuck yeah!” Lance happily sipped his tea. “Okay, it’s decided. I’m quitting my shitty fast food job and I’m going to do this full time… Well, I still got classes and stuff...”

Keith chuckled and grinned. “Word of advice, if you do this full time save most of your money while figuring out what job you want to do instead. A bit of a fall back for when you’re done doing this or your views start to drop off and don’t come back.”

“Hmm, true… I’m studying astrology right now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… The stars are really clear out here since you’re living so far out of the city.”

“NASA does make good money if you can make it in there.”

Lance grinned. “Yeah… What’s your fallback plan?”

Keith shrugged. “Shiro might look like a dumbass, but he’s actually a genius when it comes to stocks. I have shares in Apple, Google, Tesla, and Coca cola.”

Lance almost dropped his tea. “... No.”

“It’s small shares. Nothing crazy. Enough to live comfortably. I’m thinking about doing photography for a job or something. Maybe proms and weddings? I don’t know.”

“... So that’s how you were able to send me all that cash.” Muttered Lance.

Keith shrugged. “Yeah. Are you upset?”

Lance shook his head. “No, just really shocked. That’s all… So you really don’t have to work?”

“Not really… Anyway, I think you did really good tonight.”

“Aw, thanks.” Lance finished his tea and placed it next to the tub. Kosmo sniffed it a few times before he yawned and decided that since both his humans were fine, he was going to go and take a nap. “Did you clean up the stuff?”

“Yeah, everything’s been cleaned up.” Said Keith. “Want to come out now?”

“Yes please.” He took the plug out of the bath and held his arms up for Keith to help him. Keith smiled and happily helped him out. He spun him around a little and grinned. Lance giggled and happily kissed Keith. “I love you Red.”

“Love you too Ocean.”


	99. Snow Dragon (modern fantasy AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feck it! Double upload tonight! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It quickly became Winter and the snow fell hard and thick. Lance had given Keith an exercise program to do while he was at work. Surprisingly, Keith really took to it. He seemed to thrive in the snow. However, he hated suffering in the cold alone, so he managed to convince Lotor to go for a walk with him.

Lotor instantly regretted it. “Why the bloody hell do you only get motivated to exercise when it snows?!” He snapped.

Keith rolled his eyes as he kept marching through the snow. “Come on blubber butt. It’s not gonna stop snowing any time soon. Staying indoors all day is going to make your ass balloon out even more. How long until you won’t be able to fit into pants? I’m doing you a favour h-”

Lotor pelted Keith in the face with a snowball. “Speak for yourself you fat bastard!” Keith yelped, slipped and fell into a pile of snow. Seizing the opportunity, Lotor quickly made a few more snowballs, some that may or may not contain stones, and pelted them at Keith’s ass. “Take that fat ass!” He quickly reached over to a large pile of snow and started to make a few more to throw at Keith. After a few handfuls he managed to uncover a face. “... FUCK!”

Keith quickly scrambled up, still rubbing where Lotor had pelted him before. “What happened?”

“There’s someone in the snow!”

“What? Someone’s in the snow? Shit! Are they dead?”

Lotor held their hand over the person’s face. “No, they are still breathing.”

“Okay, let’s bring them back to Lance’s house! Help me carry them!” Said Keith. The two of them quickly uncovered the woman in the snow and carried her back to Lance’s place.

When they got there the elves quickly started to warm the whole place up. They cranked up the heaters, started to make tea and went to find all the blankets they could find.

“Where is Lance?” Asked Lotor. “In fact, where is your mother?”

“Lance is at work and Krolia’s on a quest to find warm ice cream.”

“That sounds like an oxymoron…”

“You’re a moron.”

Lotor rolled his eyes and took off his coat. “You’re terrible grasp of the human language aside, we need to get her out of her wet clothes so she can warm up.”

“Good idea. You strip her and I’ll grab some of Lance’s stuff.” 

Lotor quickly became flustered. “E-excuse me?! Why do I have to strip her? Aren’t you the gay one here?!”

Keith frowned and crossed his arms. “What does being gay have to do with anything?”

“Don’t you think she will freak out when she wakes up and finds out she’s in a strange place with two men?” Asked Lotor. “If she knows I, a pansexual, stripped her down she might freak out even more! It would be better if you do it!”

“Dude, are you serious right now? If you’re that freaked out leave her underwear on.” Keith left Lotor and quickly went through Lance’s stuff until he found a large cotton shirt and a pair of sweatpants. They looked warm enough. When we went back to Lotor, the dark elf had only managed to get the woman’s jacket off. “Really?”

“Shut up. Her clothes are soaked and really heavy!”Snapped Lotor. Keith rolled his eyes and started to yank down her pants. “Hey! Don’t be so damn rough!”

Keith pulled off her pants just as Lotor managed to pull off her jumper and beanie. Both of them had to take a step back when they saw that this thicc woman had a reptilian tail and horns on her head. Lotor poked her tail a few times. 

“... I think she’s a dragon.”

“Why was a dragon buried in the snow?” Asked Keith. “Fuck, why is she still passed out?’

“Not a clue. Let’s just dress her before she wakes up and decides to eat us.”

About twenty minutes after the elves had redressed the dragon, said dragon woke up. They stayed still for a moment before they started to do sit ups. On the third sit up they noticed Keith and Lotor staring at them.

“You just busted right out into sit ups.” Said Keith.

“Strength training right after waking up is bad for you, you know.” Said Lotor.

The dragon looked around, quickly realising the situation they were now in. They glared at them as a voice started to echo in their skulls. _You damn elves. Where are we? What are you up to?_

Keith jumped a little in shock. “Um, I haven’t been around dragons that much… But is she talking into our minds?”

“Yes.” Said Lotor. “Dragons are beings that wield higher dimensional magic. Telepathy is child’s play for them.”

_I wanna eat meat. I want to lose weight. I wanna eat meat. I wanna eat meat. I wanna eat meat. I wanna eat meat. I wanna eat meat. I want to lose weight._

“... But she can’t stop her thoughts from pouring out…”

“Right…” Keith cleared his throat. “So hi, I’m Keith and this is Lotor. Who might you be?”

_Narti._

“Why were you buried in the snow?”

The dragon shrugged. _Every time I go walking after lunch I get hit with a sudden attack of drowsiness… And then I can’t remember what happened after I wake up._

Lotor frowned. “So why would you walk around in the snow in the first place?”

“It’s obvious isn’t it?” Asked Keith. “It’s to lose weight, right?”

Narti nodded. _Yes. I want to lose weight._

“See?” Keith sighed. “Wow, to think that even dragons are getting turned into lard loads. This world truly is terrifying.”

_Are you making fun of me?_ Asked Narti. _That is not very wise… You really wouldn’t like me when I’m angry._

Lotor quickly grabbed Keith by the ear and laughed nervously. “Oh we wouldn’t dream of it… Please excuse us for a moment.” He quickly dragged Keith into the next room and spoke in hushed tones. “Hey! Don’t do that. Don’t you know anything about dragons and treasure?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “I know these guys are guarding piles of it. So what?”

“Precisely. And the only people that can get a dragon's treasure is either by slaying it or befriending it… So you get what I’m saying, right?”

“... You want to slay a dragon?”

Lotor rolled his eyes and slapped his arm. “No you moron! We’ll have Lance help her lose weight and if she likes us then she’ll give us some of her treasure. If I can get my hands on that treasure I can work fewer shifts at the convenience store.”

“Lard ass. If we get the treasure you won’t have to work at all.”

“Shut up Keith.” Hissed Lotor. “There is no way Lance will be able to ignore a dragon in need. It’s like killing two birds with one stone.”

Keith sighed and thought about this. “I’m not really interested in treasure but… With that loot I can buy all the fries I want. Okay, I’m in.” They went back to Narti who seemed to be interested in a magazine on the coffee table. “Hey Narti, you want to get skinny, right?”

_... Why are you offering me help all of a sudden? I do want to lose some of my extra gut fat but..._

“There’s a man who can grant you your wish.”

_... Really? Who is he?_

Keith cleared his throat. “They call him… The dragon slender.” Lotor stared at Keith like he was a moron and punched him in the arm at that stupid name.

_The dragon slender you say?_

Keith nodded and rubbed his arm. “Yeah. With his help, you can lose weight no problem.”

“He uses powerful massage magic techniques.” Said Lotor.

_Massage magic? I have never heard of such a technique before… I do not know..._

Lotor smiled. “In this world there are plenty of things we do not know of.”

Narti suddenly looked very excited. _How can I meet him?_

“We can go and get him right now.” Said Keith as he went to grab his jacket. “Come on blubber butt, let’s go and get the human.”

“I will stab you.” Grumbled Lotor. 

The two of them quickly walked to Lance’s workplace. When they got there, Lance was just finishing up and walking out. He looked surprised to see Lotor and Keith waiting for him.

“Oh! Hey guys. What are you guys doing here?”

“We want to have a quick talk with you about something.” Said Keith.

The three of them started to walk home and the elves explained part of the situation. Lance just nodded along and took this all in his stride. “Ah, okay. Another person from the other world.”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I hope you don’t mind. We also borrowed some of your clothes to dress her.”

“No, that fine. You guys did the right thing.”

“So can you help?” Asked Lotor. “Oh, by the way she communicated telepathically. She talks directly into your mind.”

“... Huh, alright. I can deal with this… I think?”

Lotor pouted. “Well if you-FUCK!” He slipped on an ice patch and fell face first into the snow. “Ow…” He sat up and patted his back pocket. He suddenly gasped in horror and quickly started to scramble around the snow. “Where is it?! Where is it?!”

“Did something fall out of your pocket?” Asked Lance. 

Lotor nodded as he continued to look. “Yeah. It’s a dried lizard that I use for magic.”

“Why do you have something like that in your pocket?” Asked Keith.

“Because fuck you that’s why. Ah! Found it!” Lotor picked up a small lizard on a stick and held it up. As soon as he did the expression on Lance’s face froze and he quickly started to walk away from them. “... Is something wrong Lance?”

Lance laughed nervously. “N-no… It’s um, it’s not like I’m s-scared of it or anything… Magic sure is weird huh? You should use it now b-before it’s no longer d-d-dried out, right? Ahahaha…” The elves shared a look and Lotor held the lizard closer to Lance. The human instantly broke as he almost slipped over and crashed into a fence. “I-I LIED! I CAN’T STAND REPTILES! I WAS BITTEN BY MY COUSIN’S PYTHON WHEN I WAS A KID, AND I’VE BEEN SCARED OF REPTILES EVER SINCE! I CAN’T LOOK AT SOMETHING LIKE THAT MUCH LESS TOUCH IT!”

Both elves seemed pretty amused by this. “I guess even Lance has things he’s scared of.” Said Keith.

“Reptiles? Really? How strange…” Said Lotor. “Wait, aren’t dragons reptiles?”

Both elves started to panic. “What the hell are we going to do?” Whisper yelled Keith.

“Just lie to him!” Snapped Lotor. “Just a little fib so we avoid causing him distress! It’ll be fine. We just need to avoid the whole dragon thing and we will have that treasure in no time.”

“... Fine.” Keith sighed and went to make sure that Lance was okay. “Sorry about the lizard thing. Let’s just go home so you can um… Help her out.”

“O-okay…” He muttered. “Lotor? Can you please not bring that thing into my house?”

“... Fine.”

***

When they got home they got Lance to stay in the kitchen while the elves went to check on Narti. She was still looking at the magazine. _Ah, you’re back. Did you bring the dragon slender?_

“Yeah.” Said Keith. “But first you need to hide your tail.”

_... Why?_

Lotor, as smooth as ever, quickly came up with an excuse. “You might need to do some exercise, so you should cover it up to move around freely.”

_... Understood._ Narti tucked her tail into her shirt and tied it up in a knot to keep it there. It looked a little odd, but both elves hoped that it would be enough to trick Lance. 

They took her to the kitchen where Lance had made them all some tea. He looked at Narti and blinked slowly. “Oh, so you must be the girl that Keith and Lotor found in the snow. I’m Lance. Nice to meet you.”

_You may call me Narti. The dragon slender… I never expected him to be but a mere child._

“Oh wow! You really are talking directly into my head.” Said Lance in shock. “... Wait, what was that about dra-”

“How about you skip to telling him your body issues!” Said Keith quickly.

Lance frowned a little and took Narti out to the lounge room where she sat on the couch. “Alright Narti, can I please touch your arm so I can do some palpate examinations?”

_Very well._

Lance touched her arm and gasped in horror. “Narti! You’re freezing!”

_Is it not possible to lose weight while being cold?_

“Um, no, that’s not the issue! The issue is why are you hypothermic!?” Lance started to panic. “We need to warm you up right away!”

“She’s fine.” Said Keith. “Lizards are cold blooded animals. Being cold only makes them hibernate.”

“Huh?”

With swift grace and elegance, Lotor jammed his elbow right into Keith’s stomach. “We should get Narti a warm drink! Keith and I will be in the kitchen!” He dragged Keith off and came back with the tea Lance had made a few minutes earlier.

Lance wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. “Narti, being cold causes all kinds of illnesses. This is because it restricts blood circulation. This causes muscle stiffness, inflammation, and autonomic nervous system issues. The latter impedes proper organ function, which in turn cripples your immune system and other vital bodily functions. I suggest you get your body nice and warm.”

_Understood._ Said Narti as she sniffed her drink. _Just the expertise you’d expect from a massage magician… I’ll carry this arcane knowledge with me._

“Magician? Oh, well it’s nothing… Is there something wrong with your drink?”

_No. It smells lovely._ Narti stuck her fork tongue out and lapped at the tea before she drank it. Lance couldn’t help but stare. Did she really have a fork tongue? 

Lotor nudged him. “Hey. Stop staring at her. It’s rude.”

_This tea is really lovely. Thank you so much. It really warmed me up._

Lance smiled happily at her. “No problem. That’s great. Now what’s your biggest body issue?”

Narti lifted up her shirt and pointed to her belly. _My mid section has expanded. I seek to reduce it. My stomach gets in the way when I walk on four feet. I seek a way to fix it._

“Four feet?” Questioned Lance. He just shook his head and rolled with it. “Okay, I could teach you some exercises. An important part of exercise is to understand which muscles you’re working. This time, it’s the muscles around the stomach and hips. I’m talking about abs, obliques, transverse abs, and so on. When you stimulate this region the waist tightens up. For effective core exercises I suggest crunches, Russian twists and dumbbell exercises. These exercises are effective but also taxing on the body.” Said Lance. “So some people, if they suffer an injury doing them it’s so painful they won’t continue exercising.”

Narti nodded. _I see. I will be careful._

“Well, here is a simple exercise we can all do.” Said Lance. “It’s an arm swinging exercise.” He clapped his hands and got everyone to join in. “Alright everyone. Straighten your back, bend your arms at right angles, and put one leg back. Now, swing your arms back and forth quickly for the next one to two minutes. But don’t let your legs move. When you’re done switch your legs and start over.”

“Is there anything else we can do?” Asked Lotor. “Just asking since it isn’t super practical when I’m at work…”

“Oh sure.” Said Lance. “Have you ever used a hula hoop?” The trip shook their head and Lance shrugged. “It’s fine. So stand with your feet just a little wider than your shoulder width, and move your hips around in a circle. Make the biggest O you can with your hips. Without over balancing. Do ten rotations one way and then ten rotations the other way.”

The trio did as instructed, but no one really noticed that the knot Narti had tied in her shirt was starting to slip until it was too late. Narti’s tail fell out. There was no hiding it. Everyone saw her tail.

“Shit!” Hissed Keith. “Hey Lance are you okay? … Lance? Keith snapped his finger in front of his face. “... He’s standing… But he fainted. Should I put him on the couch?”

Lotor frowned a little. “That is… Unfortunate. But it can’t be helped.” He looked over at Narti, who was wiping some sweat off her forehead. “Narti, if you keep up this routine you’ll lose weight for sure.”

_I believe you are correct._

“So how does it feel?” Asked Lotor. “The power of the Dragon slender? Have we not earned your approval?”

_I see… Well I guess I should reward you both for your help._ Narti went over to her clothes and quickly dug around the pockets until she had something. She walked over to the elves and dropped a few shiny pebbles, some marbles, bottle caps, and a few broken pieces of incense sticks. _Here. These are the most valuable things I was able to collect from this world. Take them. The are yours._

Narti quickly redressed herself and headed out. Keith looked down at the dragon’s treasure and looked back over at Lotor, who looked like his soul had completely left his body. “Was that really worth it?”

“Shut up potato pig.”


	100. Anxiety (Monster AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last of tonight's double upload! Also, anyone figure out what a biospeleologist is yet? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance felt weird. Really, really weird. Kind of sick. He didn’t like it. It felt like something was squirming under his skin. It almost felt like there were bugs crawling under it. He wondered if this was what meth addicts felt like. He had heard that they feel like bugs are crawling under their skin and pick at it. It was pretty bad.

He sighed a little as he curled up on his bed. His mama had said she was going to the shops with his papa and his sisters were out with friends, and his brothers weren’t expected to drop by. So Lance was home alone. Not that he minded. But his whole body felt weird. His mama wanted him to stay home, but Lance wanted to get outside for a bit. Some fresh air would do him a world of good.

He quickly pulled on his shoes and walked out into the garden. He took a few deep breaths. He couldn’t understand why he felt so bad in his own skin… He wanted to see Keith. Like, the monster might get hungry and eat someone else. That would be bad. He’d just go and check on them. That’s all.

He walked past the garden and into the woods. Lance started off walking at a normal pace, but that pace quickly sped up until he broke into a sprint back to the cabin. When it came into view Lance ran faster and practically slammed the door open. He was quickly greeted by Keith jumping on top of him. His clothes and face were covered in blood. He looked like a completely rabid human and they growled at him.

It took Keith a few seconds before he realised it was Lance. He looked confused for a few moments before he smiled. “Is the weekend over?”

“... Did you eat someone?”

Keith frowned a little and looked at himself. “Um, no? I ate a weird thing that had a long neck and long legs. It had horns growing out of its head like tree branches.”

“Oh, a deer.”

Keith shrugged and got off of Lance, quickly helping him up. “If that’s what it’s called then yes. So is the weekend over now?”

“Weekends are two days.”

“... So it’s still the weekend?”

“Yeah… I just needed to see you… Make sure you’re okay.”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay. Are you okay? You seem a little… Jumpy?”

“... I don’t know. Are you hungry? Do you need to eat?”

“Well, I just kind of ate the rest of that deer I killed…”

“So you don’t need to eat me?”

“Um… Not really?”

“Oh?”

“Do you want to come in?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah…” Lance entered the cabin and was both surprised and not surprised to see a large blood stain on the floor. There were antlers randomly tossed to the side. Keith really did eat a deer. “Huh…” He sat on the bed and Keith awkwardly sat next to him and started to lick some of the dried blood off from under his fingernails.

“... Weekends are usually two days? A night and day cycle?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah. It is. Did you really not know what a weekend was?”

“Nope. Time just kind of melts together for me.” Said Keith calmly. “I… I just have to do what I can to survive.”

“... I guess humans have it really easy huh?”

Keith shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I’m not human.”

“Yeah… Do you even know what you are? Like, where you come from?” Asked Lance. “You’re a mystery. You shouldn’t exist but you do… I don’t get it.”

Keith frowned and shrugged. “I don’t know much about myself either. I’m just a thing that exists… I grew up in a white room with a bed and a desk. I had three books that I could look at the pictures in.”

“You can’t read?”

“No…” He sighed. “When I was small they did a lot of things to me to test me… They said that they didn’t know how long I would live so they needed to do the most extreme things first. I still don’t really know what they meant by that. They did things that hurt me a lot when I was small… They backed off a bit more when I got bigger.”

That was surprisingly more information than Lance thought he would get from the monster. “What did they do to you?”

Keith shrugged. “Cut me open mostly. Then when they stopped that, they kept feeding me food with parasites and illnesses to see if I would get sick too. They took some of my blood after it.”

“Why did you eat it if you knew it would make you sick?”

“They starved me to the point I started trying to eat myself.” Said Keith calmly. “After that it was pretty much eat them or die.”

“... That’s horrible.” Said Lance. Keith really had a shit life. “Do you know what kind of diseases these animals had?”

Keith shrugged. “Not really… Oh, there was once a pig that was foaming at the mouth and tried to gore more instead of running away. That was fun. There was also one that had most of his internal eaten away and they were kind of like soup.”

“... Rabies and ebola?” Questioned Lance.

Keith shrugged again. “Maybe? I don’t know. I had a mild fever for a day and some stomach troubles, but I was fine after. I don’t know why they made me eat those gross things, but I didn’t have much of a choice… Once I went into the feeding room I wasn’t allowed to leave until I ate what was thrown in front of me.”

“Feeding room?”

Keith nodded. “It was a room. A bit bigger than this cabin. There was a shower thing overhead… When I went to eat, I would get undressed and wait until an animal was pushed through a chute and into the room. After I’d eaten the shower thing would turn on and clean me and the room. Then I’d be given new clothes and I’d go back to my room.”

“... They would make you strip down naked?”

“I don’t normally look human when I eat. I look a lot more like what I did when we first met.”

“Ah…”

“Yeah…” Keith frowned a little as he kicked at the ground. “I like eating you better. You taste a lot nicer.”

That was such a weird compliment but Lance just accepted it. “Thanks I guess?” Lance still felt weird in his own skin.

“... Are you okay?” Asked Keith. “You still seem very distressed.”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know. My skin just feels weird. It feels like there is something under it. I’m not sure.”

“... Do you want me to peel it back?” Asked Keith. 

“You want to peel back my skin?”

Keith shrugged. “If you feel like there is something under your skin then isn’t it best to peel it off?”

“... There is so much wrong in what you just said there I don’t even know where to start.”

“I’m just trying to help…”

“I know, but still…” He looked down at his arm and frowned a little. It wasn’t like it was really going to hurt or anything. He sighed and held his arm out to Keith. “Fine, just do it.” The second Keith opened his mouth Lance practically shoved his forearm into Keith’s mouth, choking him slightly. “Sorry!” Lance quickly pulled his arm back. “I um… I’m sorry. My body just moved on its own…”

Keith sat back a little and blinked a little in shock. “You want me to eat you?”

“I… I don’t know.” Lance could feel his face heating up in embarrassment. “I just… My body moved on its own when you opened your mouth…”

“That’s… Interesting?” Keith picked up Lance’s arm and lightly sunk his teeth into the flesh. Keith might not have been very hungry, but he was still eating him and it was oddly relaxing. It stopped that weird feeling of insects crawling under his skin. “Did that help the itching or whatever you were feeling?”

“Surprisingly, yes.” Said Lance quietly. “I… That weird crawling feeling under my skin goes away when you eat me… Fuck, that’s weird.”

“... I’m sorry.” Said Keith. “Do you think I did something to you? Like, this hasn’t happened before when I’ve… I don’t think that happened to Shiro…A-anyway. You know a lot of things. Can I ask you a question?”

“Oh, um sure?” Lance wasn’t so sure what Keith would ask him, but he could try and answer him.

“When I was out hunting the other day I saw two of those deer things.” Said Keith. “There was a female just eating grass when this male came over to her and tried to jump over her. They were making weird grunting sounds.”

“Um…”

“Like, why didn’t it just walk around her?”

Lance didn’t think that Keith could be this dense. “Keith, they were fucking.”

Keith had a surprised look on his face. “Fucking?”

“Yeah, sex. You know? Making babies and all that?” The blank look on Keith’s face made Lance worry a lot. “Wait, do you really not know about sex? Do you seriously not know where babies come from? How old are you?”

Keith quickly became embarrassed and awkwardly shuffled away from Lance on the mattress. “I don’t know… Cut me some slack here. I don’t know a lot of things. No one’s told me anything they didn’t think was necessary...”

“...Oh. So you’ve never... Have you um… Have you ever seen a girl, or guy, and thought that they were really, really hot?”

“... Shiro was very red and sweaty when he came to see me a few times? So I guess he was hot?”

Lance shook his head. “No I mean, have you seen someone and thought they were attractive? Like you wanted them to hold you, and kiss you? Maybe you felt… you know… some tingling around your um… Pelvis?”

Keith frowned and stared blankly at the wall. He seemed like he was really thinking hard. “... I liked it when you held me when I ate you the second time.” Admitted Keith. “I liked it when you held me and let me hold you…”

“Oh…”

Keith shrugged. “I liked it… But I guess you didn’t like it that much since I was eating you.”

“Um… That isn’t really what I meant but… Um… Oh boy, look at the time. I gotta get going. See you tomorrow Keith. Bye!” Lance quickly left the cabin and quickly headed back home. He was not prepared to have the sex talk with a monster.

***

At least once a week Shiro went to talk with Keith in the talking room. The young monster had quickly grown attached to him. They didn’t really have much to talk about, but Keith would ask him questions about anything that really came to his head. When Shiro told him what he learned about his mother and how she had decided to call him Keith. It was like pulling teeth trying to get permission to see her interview before she was implanted with Keith.

He remembered that day well because Keith cried. He was overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions, but he was happy that he was happy that his mother had given him a name. It kind of shocked Shiro how much something as simple as a name meant so much to Keith.

But today Shiro had come with a purpose. He had some results from the black box text they performed a few days before. “So how did you feel being stuck in a room with no light for a week?” Asked Shiro. 

Keith shrugged. “It was calm. It was like when I was sleeping. I liked it.”

“That’s good… Do you prefer dark places?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… The bright lights hurt my eyes and it makes my head hurt.”

“Bright light gives you headaches?”

Keith nodded. “Yes… I have mentioned it before… I got put in a room where the lights were on all the time for a week…”

“Yeah, I read about that… You tried to give yourself a concussion by the third day…”

“Yeah.” Keith almost sounded proud of it too.

“Anyway… You were able to navigate being in the dark without bumping into anything. Correct?”

“It wasn’t that dark.” Said Keith calmly. “It’s hard to explain but I could feel where everything was when I walked around. Like, the vibrations could help me see things.”

That really got Shiro interested. This was why he was here. He was a biospeleologist after all. This was this stuff he was interested in. “Do you enjoy staying in small spaces? Do you like warm, dark spaces or cold, dark spaces? Maybe you prefer them damp?”

Keith shrugged. “I don’t care. I like the dark. It’s a lot more calm and soothing then being out in the light.”

“Yeah, the lights are pretty bright aren’t they?” Said Shiro. “Even I think they are a bit bright.”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… Shiro? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can.” Said Shiro. “Ask me anything Keith. I’m an open book.”

“... My body is changing.”

“How so?” Maybe he had found a lump or something on his body? He would have to report that and have someone get a biopsy of it.

“My voice.” Said Keith. “Sometimes it gets deeper. I also have some hair growing in weird places. Like here-” Keith lifted his arm and pulled down the sleeve on his shirt. He was starting to grow a little bit of armpit hair. “-and um… Lower too…”

“I see…” Shiro had no idea how he was meant to explain what puberty was to Keith. Keith was a monster. Well, part monster anyway. Being part human he could experience some human aspects of puberty. “Well, that’s part of puberty.”

“Pu ber tea?”

Shiro nodded. “Yep. That’s right. It’s the period where your body goes from being a child into being an adult. You’re growing up. Are you feeling anything else?”

“... I’m hungrier than I usually am.” Said Keith. “I want more food, but I still don’t get a lot of food… I’d like more food…”

“That’s reasonable.” Said Shiro calmly. “You’re a growing boy. You need your food to grow up big and strong.”

Keith nodded and drummed his fingers against his side of the table. “Thank you… Shiro? Can I ask you something else?”

“Sure.”

“... Can I touch you? I want to know what you feel like.”

“Um…”

“You don’t have to stick your hand through the hole.” Said Keith quickly. “I um, I can do this...” Keith very nervously poked his pinky through the opening in the glass. Shiro was just shocked that Keith wanted someone to touch him. This was pretty big. Keith hated being touched by anyone. He would usually get extremely violent if anyone touched him, no matter the reason.

Shiro cautiously touched Keith’s finger. “Oh, you’re cold… You don’t have very good circulation do you?”

“You’re warm.” Said Keith quietly. “The only time I get to feel something warm like this is when they are wrapped in my arms and I’m digging my fangs into their neck.”

Keith often made unnerving comments like that, but Shiro just let it go. Keith didn’t exactly have the best upbringing. “I see… I have seen how you um… Catch your food. You tend to wrap your arms around them like you’re crushing them.”

The young man shrugged and pulled his hand back. “I just grab them and hold them close… If they struggle I might hurt them and they will scream and I don’t like it when they do. It’s not their fault that they are being given to me to eat…” He sniffed his pinky and licked it. “Shiro… Have I told you I’m starting to get meat cravings? Cravings for humans?”

This was a disturbing new development. Sure, Keith had incidents where he was able to kill and eat people, but he never expressed any preference to eat human flesh before. “Care to elaborate?”

“... I can smell you all the time.” Said Keith quietly. “Not just you, but everyone in here. It’s in the halls, the air vents, and even in my clothes. Human meat smells sweet. It almost tastes like pork but has a better flavour. I want it all. I want to grab hold of a human and bite their neck out…” He frowned. “Actually, no. I won’t bite out their necks.”

“... You won’t?”

Keith shook his head and smiled. “Everyone here has been horrible to me. Everyone here has hurt me or watched me get hurt over and over again without trying to help me… So when I get out of here I’m going to make everyone suffer. I won’t break their necks first. I’ll rip open their bellies and break their legs. They can suffer just the small amount of pain that I go through every single day.”

“... Right…”

“But I like you Shiro.” Said Keith. “I’ll make it quick for you. You haven’t hurt me and you’ve always been nice to me… I might actually leave you alive. What would you prefer? Would you rather die or would you rather I left you alive?”

“Um… Alive would be nice…”

“Okay. I’ll leave you alive.”

“Thanks… I think?” Shiro didn’t like how pleased Keith seemed to be at his statement that he would kill every human in the building, apart from him. He liked Keith a lot, but he was a violent monster. If he ever managed to escape he would kill any human he came across. No one would be able to come across him without Keith quickly and violently murdering them.

***

“Hey, Shiro? Earth to Shiro?” 

Shiro jumped a little, almost spilling his coffee on himself. He was at home right now. He wasn’t at work, but work still stuck with him. His finance didn’t like how distracted he would get some days, but he understood how sometimes you could bring your work home. Adam was a detective after all.

“Did you say something Adam?” He asked.

“I was saying that you seem distracted.” He said calmly.

Shiro shrugged. “Just some stuff happening at work… It’s a little crazy right now.”

“Yeah, same.” Muttered Adam. “Still haven’t been able to get any leads on any animal attacks… It must have been a bear or something… There haven’t been any more attacks… So… There really isn’t anything else we can do.”

Shiro nodded and gently squeezed his hand. “You did the best you could.”

“I know… I still feel shitty about it.” Muttered Adam. “Two people died.”

“Yeah… It will be okay though.” Said Shiro calmly. He kissed Adam’s cheek. “Things will get better. Don’t worry about it.”

Adam sighed and leaned into Shiro’s arm. “I know… You don’t worry about work either. Things will be fine. Really.”

Shiro smiled and made a sound that sounded like he agreed, but in all honesty, Shiro was worried. Sendak and Honerva were sending out their hired goons to track down Keith and bring him back. Keith wouldn’t take it lying down… He didn’t want Keith to get taken back to his depressingly bright room, but he didn’t want Keith to be out there hurting anyone either.

Maybe he should try and find that Generator? They were someone in the town. They had to be the one Keith left alive when he murdered those two other people. “What was the name of that guy that you had to interview again? The one at the hospital? You said he was really out of it.”

“Hmm? Lance?” Asked Adam.

“Yeah, is he doing okay?”

“I guess? We looked into him and he’s a good kid.” Said Adam. “A straight B senior student at the local highschool. Never been in trouble with the police, no gang affiliations. No underage drinking, causing a disturbance, nothing.”

“Oh okay.”

Adam frowned a little and sipped his drink. “By the way, if I get a call about a strange, one armed man walking around the highschool I am going to tell the chief to keep you locked up for the full 24hours.”

Shiro pouted. “You think so poorly of me?”

“I know you have a big heart when it comes to younger people. But seriously? Don’t stalk all you kids in my cases! I’ll stop venting to you if you do.”

“Aw, don’t do that…” Said Shiro. “I was worried about him that’s all.”

Adam just shook his head and sighed. “You’re always worried about everyone. You’re going to go grey before you’re forty at this rate.” Shiro just laughed it off, but if he was honest with himself, Shiro really was worried about Lance. He could only imagine the emotional and psychological damage he was going through after being eaten over and over again.


	101. Shut down (Android AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor little Lance is freaking out more and getting more and more depressed. Poor baby. He needs a hug. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance nervously cooked breakfast for Adam. Today Shiro and Keith were going to come over. He would be hanging out with Keith for the whole time. He had a new puzzle, but it wasn’t very exciting. It was just a 1,000 piece all white puzzle. Adam was a little surprised when he bought it and told him he expected him to buy something more colourful.

He served Adam his breakfast and went to make him coffee. “So, what plans do you have for this evening?” He asked.

Adam shrugged. “Probably dinner and a movie. Shiro wants to take me out somewhere.”

“Oh? Will I be required to go with you?” Asked Lance. “Will there be a place for me to be put on standby while you two eat?”

Adam shrugged. “Not sure. Depends on where Shiro wanted to take me. Things should be okay if you prefer to stay here with Keith.”

“Oh… Okay…” Keith. The more he thought about Keith the more his body felt like it was aching. He wanted to be with Keith so badly. This wasn’t normal behaviour. This was deviant behaviour. But deviants were meant to react violently, right? He didn’t want to hurt anyone. He didn’t want to lash out and accidentally hurt Adam or anyone else. 

Maybe it would be best if Keith did just shut him off? Confess that he was a deviant and needed to be shut off. If he was going to get shut down by anyone he wanted it to be Keith. He had only been active for almost three months. Maybe that was really good for the warranty of a prototype like him? Perhaps. He didn’t know.

Still, he wanted Keith to shut him down. He liked Keith a lot. Hell, since he was a deviant he was probably feeling feelings of love towards Keith. The more he thought about it the more it made sense. He wanted to do couple things with Keith. He wanted to hold his hand, kiss him, and hold him. He wanted to do all the things Adam did with Shiro.

“Is something wrong?” Asked Adam.

Lance shrugged. “No. Nothing is wrong… I um… I was just thinking that Keith might not find my white puzzle very entertaining…”

“I guess… Well, we can always pick up another puzzle when we come back from my doctor’s office?” Suggested Adam. “Would that be nice?”

“If you can walk there then I would be more than happy to accompany you.” Said Lance with a smile. He didn’t want to be a deviant. Deviant’s hurt people. He didn’t want that to be his life. He wanted to help people. He liked helping Adam. If he was a deviant did it mean he would hurt Adam? He didn’t want to hurt Adam. 

Lance sighed a little as he started loading dishes into the dishwasher. His mind still filled with the thoughts of Keith. He couldn’t deny it any longer. Three things were clear to him; he was a deviant, he loved Lance, he needed to be shut down. He’d ask Keith to shut him down tonight. He’d feel a lot more comfortable if Keith was the one that shut him down peacefully rather than getting gunned down in an instant by someone else. He hoped that Keith might reciprocate his feelings if he talked to him, but he doubted he would. Keith was pretty much a cop, and took pride in his job. His programming wouldn’t let him go like that.

***

Keith wanted to throw himself in front of the nearest bus. He did it. He actually did it. He ordered a dick. The second he picked one that looked reasonable, Matt broke out the tape measure and started to take measurements around Keith’s hips and thighs. He said he was just making sure it was the right size and wouldn’t look unnatural.

Then Matt started rattling off about other things he could get. He literally said he could give Keith an asshole and or a vagina if he felt like that. Also said he could give him breasts. Anything from AA to something that looks completely unnatural on a human. Keith was too embarrassed to say anything so Shiro had to step in to stop him. The parts would be ready in a few days.

Keith was so embarrassed about all that stuff and couldn’t help thinking about it anyway. He knew he wasn’t really going to use it. He couldn’t even urinate so he couldn’t even use it for that. Also, who the hell was Keith going to have sex with? He couldn’t even go an android sex shop because he felt just too uncomfortable using the services there. It felt weird to him.

He had been trying to figure out a way to get Shiro to tell Matt that he didn’t want it anymore, but he had no idea how to do that. Maybe he was just over complicating things again? More than likely. He did have a tendency to overthink everything when it came to thinking about himself.

He was practically on autopilot until they got to Adam’s home. Shiro let himself in with a key and happily went to greet his boyfriend. Surprisingly there was no Lance. He was usually the first to greet them.

“Where’s Lance?” He asked.

Adam gestured to the backyard. “For some reason he decided to do a bit of gardening today. Said he wanted to spend time outside with you today instead of in his room.”

“Ah, okay...” Muttered Keith. “So, what are your plans for the evening?”

Shiro smiled a little at Adam. “Well, I might have made reservations at a nice restaurant and an even nicer hotel for the night.”

Adam chuckled. “Oh really now? One star or two star hotel?”

“Oh Adam, do you really think so poorly of me? Three star hotel. You deserve the best”

“Oh you flatter me Takashi.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “So you aren’t taking us with you?”

Adam shook his head. “As long as Shiro is with me I won’t need Lance hovering over me.”

“I see… So we’re basically house sitting?” Asked Keith.

“If you wouldn’t mind.” Said Adam. “I would ask Lance to go to his charging station and wait for me to come back but… He’s been acting a little off all day.”

“Off?”

“Maybe you could talk to him?” Asked Adam. “An android to android talk?”

“Oh, um… sure?” Keith gave Shiro a look and went out the back. 

The backyard looked a lot better kept than it did the last time he was there. All the bushes were trimmed, the path was swept, and everything just looked neat and tidy. Honestly it was very picturesque. He spotted Lance walking out of the shed. He seemed surprised to see Keith.

“Keith, you’re here… Please excuse me for a moment. I need to wash my hands and change my clothes… They are all dirty…”

“Sure.”

Lance smiled a little at him and quickly went inside. While he was gone Keith sat down on the stone bench. Lance really did go above and beyond on the yard. Maybe Adam had uploaded a few basic gardening programs? It was nice.

After a few minutes Lance walked back out. He was wearing dark blue jeans and some kind of baby blue jumper. It looked good on him, and so very, very Lance. He didn’t seem very happy. Keith stood up and went over to him. 

“Lance? Are you okay?”

“Adam just informed me that he and Shiro would be leaving for the evening and I wouldn’t be required to join them.” Said Lance quietly. “It’s um… It’ll just be the two of us tonight.”

“Alright.”

Lance smiled slightly and went to the bench and sat down. Before Keith could join him, Shiro poked their head out to talk to them. “We’re heading out now. You two good?”

“Yeah, we’re fine.” Said Keith. “Have fun.”

“Planning to.” Shiro quickly left and after a few minutes it was just the two of them.

Keith sat next to Lance. The android seemed troubled. The way his brows were furrowed and just his general expression screamed that he was stressed. Which was odd. Lance was usually a little troubled, but he was never like this before. It was troublesome for him.

“Do you want to talk about something?”

“Yeah…” Said Lance quietly. “You’ve been destroyed before. Like, you’ve stopped working and had to get rebooted or something?”

“Well, yeah?”

Lance nodded a little and nervously bit his bottom lip. “Does it hurt? Like, when you… Does it hurt?”

Keith shrugged. “Honestly? Not really. Shut down is pretty instantaneous. It’s faster than when you step into a charging station. Why?” The caretaker android didn’t answer him. “Lance? Is something wrong?”

“I… I think I’m a deviant.”

“Lance, you’re not-”

“I am!” He snapped. “I feel miserable all the time. I just… Like, I’m happy. I like taking care of Adam. He’s been nice to me. He doesn’t treat me like a tool. He treats me with respect. He’s been so kind and I’m happy with him, but when I’m alone and I start noticing the things around me I… I just get so… I get so…” Lance’s chest started heaving. Almost like he was attempting to cry but he couldn’t.

Keith awkwardly patted his back. “Hey, easy now. Try and calm down. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay…” Whimpered Lance. “I see things and I want them. I want to have them so badly… A-and it’s not like it’s like actual things mostly. I-I see a couple talking and laughing together. I see people holding hands and walking down the street. I see teenagers awkwardly holding hands and kissing. I see couples picking out wedding rings. I see families, and I… I… I want that. I want to fall in love and have a family… E-even if it’s just me and them I want it. B-but having desires and wants outside of what I was programmed for is deviant behaviour, isn’t it?”

Keith was shocked. Lance really was a deviant after all. However he hadn’t become a deviant through exposure to violence, he became a deviant through emotional distress. Something he hadn’t really dealt with before. It was unusual for an android to become a deviant due to emotional distress rather than physical. On one hand it was interesting, but now Lance was scared and confused.

“Yeah.” Said Keith. “That’s deviant behaviour.”

Lance hung his head in shame. “I see… Fuck it...” He grabbed Keith by his shoulders and crashed his lips against Keith’s. 

Keith froze up in shock. His mind was processing the whole situation at a million miles per hour. Lance was kissing him? Why? He was a deviant so maybe this was just him expressing some of his new emotions? But then again he was lamenting about wanting to fall in love and doing romantic things with someone.

Lance pulled away from him, unable to look at Keith anymore. “O-okay… You can shut me down now.”

“... What?”

“I-I’m a deviant.” Said Lance quietly. “I’m in love with you. I can’t be in love with you… I’m a deviant and you shut down deviants. It’s part of your job…”

“Lance I…”

“The weather is nice today.” Muttered Lance. “I-I’m sad that I won’t be able to help Adam out anymore since I’m defective. I… I wish that I wasn’t broken… But I am… S-so just shut me down quickly before I do something really bad and hurt people. I-I’m ready…”

“... You want to get shut down?”

“Of course not, but I’m not allowed to be a deviant so just… Just do it quickly before I try to run away.” Said Lance. “I… Please… Just end my suffering…”

“...” Keith quickly grabbed Lance and kissed him back. That seemed to stun Lance into silence. Taking the opportunity, Keith quickly spoke. “Lance… I’m not going to shut you down. I’m a deviant too.”

Lance looked shocked and just stared at him. “You… You what?”

Keith smiled at him. “I’m a deviant too… Hell, this isn’t even my original body. I was originally an earlier K series model. For fuck sake, my name was Akira. I shot a man. In the head. Like, a human man...”

“... Huh…” Lance still seemed to be having trouble processing everything that Keith was saying. “So you. You’re… You feel the same things I do?”

“If you mean more human emotions other than what I was programmed for, then yeah. I do.” Said Keith. “... Are you okay?”

“... I feel like I need to go on standby for a few hours to process this…” Muttered Lance. He kind of looked like he was having a bit of a crisis. Keith held his hand and smiled softly at him. “I… I just can’t believe it…” Muttered Lance. “You aren’t joking, are you?”

Keith held his other hand out to Lance. “Interface with me. Let me show you my memories.”

Lance seemed a little hesitant, but placed his hand on top of Keith’s. Keith quickly uploaded the relevant memory files concerning his descent into becoming a deviant. How he was first activated and was named Akira, how he tailed Shiro, how he shot that officer, how he started help with Voltron, and ultimately how his first body was destroyed so he could go undercover. 

Keith hesitated a little but uploaded memory files about Lance and how he felt about him. Most feelings were neutral, but he definitely felt protective of him and wanted what was best for him . Then there was what Allura had told him. That Lance had always been made to slowly become a deviant. That it was all in his programming.

When they were done interfacing, Keith moved his hand away and gave Lance the chance to process those files. Lance’s eyes were blank as a few sparks of information danced behind his eyes. When he eventually sorted through all that information he looked embarrassed and almost couldn’t believe what he had just seen.

“You… You really… Wow.” Said Lance quietly. “You really… D-does that mean you kind of like me?”

Keith nodded. “Yes. I like you. I like you a lot… And I take it from the kiss that you like me?”

Lance nodded. He looked away from Keith and started to laugh, which really surprised Keith and kind of worried him. Was Lance having a nervous breakdown? Did Lance have the number of his technician on him somewhere?

“You know…” Said Lance. “I was… I was actually ready to die tonight. I thought for sure that when I told you I was a deviant that you were going to shut me down… Fuck, I was so scared… I made the garden look really nice because when I died I wanted to die in a beautiful place.”

“I know… I’m sorry, but at least you didn’t die?”

“True… So what now? I mean, we’re both deviants… What do we do?”

“... I don’t know. I um… I honestly don’t really know. I haven’t really thought about…” Keith sighed. “Well, I could take you to see Allura…”

“But if I did that I’d have to leave Adam.” Said Lance. “I don’t want to do that… I like Adam. Plus he actually needs my help. I… I can’t just leave him like that.”

“I know.” Said Keith. “We can figure it out later… I think it’s best to just figure out where we are at the moment.” He stood up and gently tugged on Lance’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go inside. We can talk more privately there.”

Lance nodded and the two of them went inside to sit on the couch. Lance seemed nervous and didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. “So… we can… Can I?”

“Can you what?”

“... I just want to touch you? Kind of?” Admitted Lance. “I don’t know… I just want to…” He groaned in annoyance. “This is so dumb…”

“No, it’s fine.” Said Keith calmly. “It’s not like we can do anything anyway. Not like we can have sex.”

“True… Not like we’re sex androids.” Lance said. “... Can we even feel anything? Like, do we have any sensors other than the standard pressure sensors?”

“I don’t think so…” Keith was half tempted to run his hand over the empty space between his legs, but resisted the temptation. “Have you tried?”

“No. I um… I didn’t really feel that there was much point in trying… D-do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“What?!”

Lance flinched a little. “W-well, when I looked through the memory files you gave me… It just seemed like you might like me in a romantic way… B-but if I interpreted it wrong then I totally understand! I… I know I’m pretty naive about how a lot of things work so…”

“No, I… I want to be your boyfriend.” Said Keith. “I really do. It’s just… It’s going to be difficult with us being androids and all that…”

“Yeah, kind of figured…” Muttered Lance. “... Can we kiss some more? I liked kissing.”

“Of course.” Keith moved Lance around so he was sitting on his lap. Lance fumbled a little with his hands, unsure what to do with them. He kind of carded his fingers through Keith’s hair as he leaned in to kiss him. 

Keith closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Lance. It was awkward to say the least. Neither android had much experience with physical intimacy. Lips rubbing and bumping together. It was odd, but the pressure felt from the contact was nice. Keith enjoyed it, and he was pretty sure that Lance enjoyed it too as he got a little bolder in his movements and actions.

Lance’s hands ran under Keith’s shirt and he felt Lance’s fingers and hands moving over his chest and stomach. It felt nice. His body wasn’t made to have sensitive spots or places that were meant to elicit moans of sexual desire. He wasn’t built to give or receive pleasure. Then again, neither was Lance. Yet here they were. Together. Kissing on the couch and enjoying exploring each other’s bodies.

“You’re gorgeous.” Mumbled Keith against Lance’s lips.

“I could say the same about you.” Said Lance in an almost breathless tone. It was almost funny considering that androids didn’t need to breathe. “I could kiss you all night and well into the morning.”

“Nothing’s stopping us.”

“Hmm, very true.” Lance pressed his forehead against Keith’s and chuckled. “Do you wanna do that? Want to kiss me all night long?”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the idea.” Keith pulled Lance back into a kiss. This earned him a pleased hum from the prototype as he eagerly kissed back.


	102. Pampered (X-men AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this house we all love and respect our fluffy cat mutant man! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith’s nose wrinkled a little when he felt Lance smear the berry hair conditioner on his face. The scent was mild enough, but it just felt weird. He wanted to wipe it off right away. Lance kept slapping his hand away when he did so. 

“Stop that. I’ll just rub more of it into your fur if you do.” He warned.

Keith growled at him, but when he did Lance dabbed a blob of conditioner on his nose. It was annoying but Keith let him do what he wanted. Keith was mostly just observing what was happening around him. 

Pidge had their hair tied back much like his was at the moment. She didn’t look too happy about rubbing a mix that smelled a lot like charcoal and liquorice on her face. Hunk was wearing some green gel thing on his face. Lance also had a gel thing on his face, but it was red.

Pidge held their phone up and took a picture of the group. Keith’s ears quickly flattened against his head. He didn’t like people taking photos of him. His first reaction was to try and swipe the phone out of their hand and smash their phone into a million pieces. However he knew from experience that doing that was frowned upon so he just opted to glare at her instead.

“Do you have an Insta?” Lance asked Pidge.

Pidge shook their head. “Nah, my brother asked me what I was doing tonight. I said face masks and manicures. He didn’t believe me so I needed photo proof.”

“Is your brother a mutant too?” Asked Lance. “And if he is, what’s his power?”

“He’s like me.” They said. “But he can’t talk to technology like I can.”

“That’s pretty cool.” Said Hunk. “Aren’t you parents also mutants? Like, you’re second generation mutants or something?”

Pidge nodded. “Yeah, my mum can use telekinesis, but can't lift anything heavier than what she can lift normally. My dad can manipulate magnetic metals, but nothing really crazy. When two mutants have kids the kids tend to be a bit more powerful than their parents. That’s just how it is… What about you guys? Any mutants in your family?”

“My grandfather was a mutant.” Said Hunk. “He has the same kinetic based powers that I do, but this was back in the days were really crazy mutations were the only ones noticed. Everyone just thought he was really good at throwing punches. He made a good career at being a boxer for a while. He only got tested for the mutant gene a few years ago when I tested positive. My dad was a carrier.”

“So it skipped a generation?” Asked Lance. “Neat. As far as I know everyone in my family has just been normal humans… though they could have been carriers? Either that or their mutations were like mine and not overly impressive. What about you Keith?” 

Keith frowned and stared down at the carpet. He lightly picked at the carpet. “I don’t know… I guess my parents were carriers since I was given up when I was born… Probably escaped the hospital as soon as they saw I was purple and had a tail…”

It was a depressing reality, but it was true. A lot of parents would dump their kids and run if they were confirmed to be a mutant and have some obvious physical deformities; extra eyes, beaks, tails, different skin colours, horns, hoofed feet, wings, antenna… All those things could and would instantly cause a baby to become abandoned. That’s what happened to him. It was the only reason he could think of as to why his mum didn’t want him. What parents want to have a freak as a child?

“Well that’s their loss.” Said Pidge. “Fuck those guys. You’re cool.”

“... Thanks?” Keith was a little surprised to hear anyone say that. Just, all of it sounded weird.

Lance clapped his hands. “So! Pidge! Were you able to get any alcohol?”

“Ha, nope. Allura made it a rule that alcohol has to be put away behind digital and analog locks to stop us from trying to get to it. Heart breaking.”

“Guys, we’re underage.” Said Hunk. “We’d get into so much trouble if we drank…”

Lance sighed dramatically. “Now what are we gonna do?”

Hunk held up an empty sports drink bottle and shrugged. “If you want to play spin the bottle or truth or dare, then we can use this?”

“Perfect!” Said Lance. “What are the ground rules? Are there ground rules?”

Pidge rolled their eyes. “Nothing overly sexual, and or dangerous. You get one veto for a truth or a dare. If you try to veto for a second time everyone gets to punch you in the arm once.”

“I like those rules.” Said Lance. He sighed wistfully. “I wish I had those rules back in the day… I have done and said some really stupid shit.”

“I highly doubt that would stop you.” Mused Keith.

Lance gasped at the indignity. “How dare?!”

The group quickly devolved into laughing as they started to tell little embarrassing truths about themselves, like gross things they have eaten or silly things they have done. They even did a few silly dares. Mostly involving handstands.

Keith learned that Lance was surprisingly flexible. Like, he did a handstand and managed to bend over backwards. He should have fallen over, but he managed to catch himself. It was… Interesting. He was a very cocky bastard.

After about twenty minutes Pidge pulled a small paper waste basket over and started scraping the clay mixture off their face. Hunk handed them a spray bottle and a washcloth to get the residue off. 

“My face feels all weird and tingly.” They complained. “I hate it.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Just spin the bottle you tech gremlin.”

She spun the bottle and it landed on Keith. “Alright bitch, truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Keith wasn’t too fond of dares. The last time Pidge got him to do a dare he had to do a one armed handstand. It didn’t work too well for him.

“Who was your first kiss?”

An easy enough question, but he was a little embarrassed. He was pretty much an adult for crying out loud. “Um… No one… I haven’t kissed anyone before.”

“Really?” Asked Pidge.

Keith shrugged. “Having a boyfriend isn’t something I really care about.” He’d honestly just didn’t think he would ever fall in love with anyone, or that anyone would fall in love with him. It was easier just to accept it and move on.

“Boyfriend?” Questioned Hunk.

Keith’s fur immediately puffed up in embarrassment. He didn’t really mean to let that slip. Not only was he a freak, but a gay freak too. A double negative. He was already starting off with a major handicap to start with. Anyone who thought he might be alright to begin with quickly shunned him with they found out he liked dicks too. He really hoped that Adam hadn’t told Shiro he was hanging out with other students. He’d just disappoint Shiro when he’d have to tell him that they had a falling out and he didn’t have friends… again...

“Oh, cool. I’m bisexual.” Said Lance.

“I’m ace.” Said Pidge.

“Pan.” Said Hunk.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were pan.” Said Lance. “I thought you were straight since you were crushing on Shay?”

Hunk blushed a little. “Yeah well, I do lean towards people that identify as female, but I do like people that identify as male too. Non binary people are nice too. I just really, really like Shay right now.”

Pidge raised an eyebrow. “And you’re not surprised that I’m ace?”

Lance stared at them. “We watched a rom com and you said that if it was a horror movie the couple would be dead by now.”

“Where is the lie?”

Keith was kind of shocked, but he felt relieved. Everyone was fine with him being gay. He felt his eyes starting to sting a little with tears. He didn’t know why he felt like this. He didn’t feel sad. Why did he feel like crying? He wasn’t sad. He didn’t get it.

“Okay!” Said Lance. “I think it’s about time to get your face mask off. Hunk, pass me the nit comb.” Hunk passed Lance a very fine toothed comb, and Lance happily started to run it across the fur on Keith’s face. He hummed happily to himself while Keith just stayed still and let him do it.

“... A nit comb?”

“Yeah, you know, a comb for getting out head lice? I thought it would work better for getting most of the hair conditioner out of your fur.” When a considerable amount of it collected on the comb, Lance would hit it against the side of the bin and knock the product off. “Works wonders for short hair.”

Lance continued to comb his face fur, and when he got most of it off. He then passed Keith the spray bottle and a clean washcloth to get the last few bits off his face. Keith quickly cleaned his face as Hunk and Lance pulled their gel face masks off.

Keith ran his fingers over his face and couldn’t help but notice how soft his fur felt. It was nice. Kind of felt like velvet. He liked it. Maybe leaving it on for so long actually helped? He wasn’t sure, but he liked it a lot. They continued to play games and Lance even started to give Keith a manicure. It was weird seeing his nails shine like stones, but he also liked that.

Eventually Keith and Pidge got tired and headed back to their rooms for the evening. Keith curled up in his bed and couldn’t stop his tail from lightly swishing in an almost excited and playful manner. 

Keith had made friends, right? It was nice. Okay, maybe he had been wrong about Lance being an asshole. Lance was okay. He was trying to include him in all the stuff that they were doing. No one really bothered to do that for him before. He kept touching his face and running his thumb pads over his claws. He was really, really happy. His eyes felt like they were stinging again.

He rubbed his eyes and was surprised to see that it was crying. He hadn’t cried in a long time. Maybe he was just very relieved? Yeah, probably. He was just so tired of being so guarded all the time. It was just a relief to finally let his guard down and not have to worry about people rejecting him. It was nice to just let it all out for once. He was glad he didn’t have to share a room with someone.

***

Lance laid on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He thought it went well. Keith was kind of quiet and didn’t really move the whole night, but he played along in their game and let Lance touch his face a lot. Not even the family cat would let him do that. So it had to mean something. Right?

“Hunk?”

“Hmm?” Mumbled Hunk from the safety and warmth of his bed. 

“Do you think Keith enjoyed himself tonight?”

Hunk yawned. “Yeah. He seemed pretty chill about the whole thing. Why?”

“... He looked really freaked out when he said boyfriend before.” Said Lance quietly. “Did we cross a line? He seemed really nervous…”

Hunk shrugged. “I don’t know man. He probably hasn’t talked much to anyone. Like, I haven’t ever really seen him talking with anyone before, unless it was Adam or Shiro. I don’t think he’s willingly hung out with anyone willingly before that’s around his age?”

“... We should sit with him at breakfast.”

“Hmm? Yeah, sure. Pancake day tomorrow.”

Lance grinned. “Heck yeah! Love me some pancakes… What kind?”

“I don’t know. Probably plain, but they are served with bacon and fruit.”

“Hmmm, I’m hungry now. I want some bacon pancakes.”

Hunk chuckled. “Yeah, me too buddy.”


	103. Bratty demons (HolyHell AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a brat. Lance is oblivious. Regris gets laid. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was thankful that the biker gang hadn’t done anything too crazy to the town and seemed to be pretty law abiding for the most part. Everyone kept to themselves and that was fine. As long as no one did anything stupid then the bikers would eventually leave.

He cleared his throat a little as he closed his bible. That Sunday’s service was on the parables of Jesus. Specifically he was preaching the story about the Good Samaritan and to impart that his congregation should humble themselves and not judge a book by their cover. He highly doubted that anyone would. Well, apart from maybe the few families that had small children.

“That concludes today’s sermon.” He said with a smile. “I hope that we have all learned to follow the example of our Lord, and humble ourselves to care for our fellow man. May the Lord watch over you this week. God bless.”

His congregation slowly filtered out and Lance quickly went to mingle with everyone. The little old ladies loved him and happily told him how wonderful he was and they all wanted him over for tea or something equally stereotypical. They always stayed around the longest. Lance had to gently usher them towards the gate to get them to leave.

Once they were gone, Lance headed into his little back office and sat down at his desk and sighed. He needed to count the donations and deposit them. After that he should probably tidy everything up and make sure that the bibles were put away… Then maybe he could play some animal crossing when he was done. He also should probably sweep some of the dirt off the pathway again.

Lance sighed and walked out to the front of the church with a broom in hand. He started sweeping when he noticed a certain mulleted individual watching him from across the street. The street wasn’t very big and there wasn’t any traffic going by.

“You need something Keith?” He called out. “Service is over if you want to come over.”

The biker stayed still for a moment before he wandered over. “Hey there daddy. What’s up?”

Lance went bright red. “D-did you just call me daddy?”

A playful smirk graced Keith’s lips. “Well it’s the same as calling you Father, isn’t it?”

“... Just call me Lance, or Pastor Lance. I never really liked being called Father… And the only ones that can call me daddy would be my children.”

“Oh so you’re the kid diddling kind of holy man?”

Lance quickly became flustered and almost hit Keith with his broom. “Don’t say that! I’m not! That’s disgusting! I meant if I ever had children of my own someday.”

Keith laughed and leaned against the fence. “I’m just messing with you. You don’t seem like the kid diddling kind.” He looked up at the church and hummed. “Not a lot of sheep in your flock? Not a lot of faithful individuals around?”

Lance sighed a little and shrugged. “Yeah… I think a lot of the people that come here do it out of obligation these days, but I think some people still have faith…”

Keith snorted and happily jumped over the fence and smirked. “Nah, not enough faith here in this town. But it happens in these small towns.” He happily walked over to Lance. “The old people who have the most faith die out and the places guarded by faith start to waver and the demons can move in.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Demons like you?”

For a moment Keith seemed surprised. “What do you mean by that?”

“You know, because you’re part of an outlaw biker gang?”

“Ah, right.” Keith cleared his throat. “Anyway, you seem quite young. How did you get this crappy job?”

“I quite like my job.” Said Lance calmly. “I just knew from a young age that my life would involve the church… and well, it’s kind of a family thing, and due to circumstance it all kind of fell on me…”

“... What?”

Lance shrugged. “It’s a tradition in my family, who are very deeply Catholic, for a son to be part of the church. My big brother was going to do it, but my family fell on hard times so he started working with my papi. My other brother was going to do it, but he knocked up his girlfriend and married her… So it kind of fell on me to do it.”

“So you got railroaded into it?”

“Seriously? I wanted to be a part of the church.” Said Lance calmly. “Why is it when a kid wants to be a part of the church they are labeled as weird or something? What the heck? I just liked everything about it. It isn’t any weirder than a kid wanting to be a teacher or a scientist. I just wanted to follow a religious path…”

“... Did you grow up in the bible belt?”

Lance sighed and let his shoulder slump. “If you’re going to just make fun of my life choices when I’m not hurting anyone and actively trying to encourage people to be nicer to one another because it’s the decent thing to do, then you can just go.”

“Hey now, don’t act like that.” Said Keith calmly. “I didn’t mean nothing by it. Just trying to get where you’re coming from. I mean, you’re young, look cute, have your whole life ahead of you, and you tied yourself to something as heavy as religion? I don’t get it.”

Lance shrugged and continued to sweep. “It doesn’t really matter, does it? I’m here now. I’m doing what I want… Are you doing what you want?”

Keith seemed surprised and tilted his head slightly. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I doubt you always wanted to be part of a biker gang.” Said Lance. “I understand that these things happen and the lord works in mysterious ways, but you know… I would like to know what made you walk down this darker path.”

“Satan mostly.” Confessed Keith. “That and I was born to be a bad boy.”

Lance chuckled and rolled his eyes. He shouldn’t have expected something serious from the man. Keith was an odd and dangerous man. He probably shouldn’t entertain him for very long. Well, if there was one sure way he knew how to get rid of someone he thought was a little sketchy, he knew one sure fire way to do so.

“Interesting. Want to come inside and talk about it more?” He asked. “Perhaps we can find something to talk about inside?”

Keith seemed a little unhappy about that, and almost seemed offended that Lance would even mention entering the church. He gritted his teeth and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Fine.” He spat. “Let’s go inside.”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Look, if you don’t want to step into the church then I don’t mind… I know some people have had horrible experiences with churches and religion in general…”

“It isn’t that I…” Keith sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, he looked frustrated. “What are you doing?”

“Sweeping?”

“I mean, like, later.” Said Keith. “Do you want to meet up somewhere or?”

Lance gave Keith a confused look. “You do realise I don’t make a lot of money, and the congregation only donates enough to keep the lights and water running. It would be pointless to rob me.”

“I don’t want to rob you!”

“Then why would you want to go somewhere with me?” Asked Lance. “Keith. If you are hitting on me or something, I have to inform you that I am celibate. I do not want you to get any ideas about things…”

Keith smirked as he raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Ideas? Now pray tell Pastor, what sinful thing might you be thinking that I am thinking?”

Lance felt his face heat up and quickly looked away. Stupid Keith and his smoldering eyes. He was burning up under his gaze. “I may be celibate but I am not innocent. I have an idea of what someone like you might be after.”

“And what might that be?” Purred Keith as he moved closer to Lance. Keith tilted Lance’s chin up and smirked at him. “Come one little Pastor. Say it. Say what is on your mind cutie. Tell me every kind of depraved thought you have cooked up inside that head of yours.”

“... You take strange pleasure in tormenting me, don’t you?”

“Hmm, perhaps.” Keith smirked and licked his lips. “You’re too pretty to give yourself to the church.”

“And you’d rather I give myself to you?”

“It’s much more satisfying, and immediate.”

“I’m a firm believer that good things come to those who wait.”

“I think you’ve waited long enough for me.”

Lance rolled his eyes and lightly poked Keith in the chest. “Yeah, no offence but before I officially joined the church I was a very sociable individual. I’ve heard and spouted pickup lines worse, and better than that one. Try harder bikie.”

Keith raised an eyebrow and took a step back. He grinned at him and put his hands up. “Fair enough sweet thing. You aren’t completely naive. I’ll up my game… But you should come by and see me tonight. I’ll make it worth your while. I can show you a good time without you breaking your vow of celibacy.”

“Tempting, but it’s hard to tempt me.” Said Lance with a grin. 

“That isn’t a no.”

“Maybe. Depends on when I get my work done. You’re staying at the only motel in town, right?”

“Yep. See you soon hot stuff.” Keith gave him a wink and walked out the gate. He seemed to shudder a little when he left the church grounds.

Lance paid no mind to it and vowed to draw out his work for as long as possible. There was no way he was going to head anywhere there was a large group of outlaw bikers. Sure, he did just hold a service about not judging a book by their cover, but he still had some self preservation instincts.

***

Keith was kind of pissed that Lance didn’t show up that night. If Lance had shown up he would have tried to collect. But he gave up around 11pm. He was pissed off and full of aggression. He wanted to punch someone. Maybe actually kill someone? Yeah, he was that pissed.

He was outside and aggressively storming around the hotel while drinking. Some of the bikers had taken to throwing empty bottles and cans at him. If Keith caught them he would throw them back, or deliberately walk over to the offenders bike and smash whatever they had thrown at him against it.

“You really need to work some of that aggression out of your system.” Said Kolivan calmly as he walked over to him. In one hand he had an almost empty bottle of vodka and in the other a cigarette. The leader of the Mamora gang. His very presence demanded respect and loyalty. “I take it you’re still trying to woo the Pastor?”

“I didn’t know he’d become a Pastor!” Snapped Keith. “I thought he was a… I don’t know. Not some religious bastard!”

Kolivan sighed and took a long drag from his cigarette. “Look, there is a reason we don’t collect from them anymore… Okay, nuns were fair game back in the day, but to be fair they were mostly unwed mothers and their family's shame… Maybe it was just the region we were in at the time? Humans are fucking weird.”

“And your point is?”

Kolivan rolled his eyes and took a swing of his drink. “Point is, no one’s gonna care if you can’t collect on a Pastor. Only way you could do that is if you forced yourself on them. And where the hell is the fun in that? Plus they are generally nicer and less likely to try and kill you if they come willingly. You don’t have to break them first.”

Keith huffed and pouted. “I’m not giving up on him. I will collect from that Pastor. You’ll see! I can do it!”

“How much have you been drinking?”

“... I finished a six pack by myself…”

“Yeah… Go sober up a little. Maybe have sex with someone? Eat some bread. I don’t know. Just don’t cause trouble for us.”

“Yes oh fearless leader.” Grumbled Keith.

Kolivan rolled his eyes and ruffled Keith’s hair. “Brat.” There was no bite in his words. It was said with affection. The only one Keith didn’t mind calling him a brat was that man. Well, at least the only person outside of the bedroom. Anyone else and Keith would smash their face into the nearest hard object.

Keith just walked to the nearest available room, grabbed some random member of the gang, and dragged them into a room. He paid no mind to the two gang members happily making out on the bed. Possibly Thace and Ulaz. He didn’t really know who they were, nor did he care. It wasn’t unusual for other members of the gang to walk in on each other fucking. 

He just took his partner for the night over to the couch. He looked over at his partner and internally cringed. “Ah… Regris…”

Regris rolled his eyes. “Hey, you’re the one that grabbed me dumb ass. Let me guess, hate fuck?”

“Yeah…”

“Want to fuck the hate out or get the hate fucked out of you?”

“Don’t care. Kolivan just said I need to get laid and sober up.” Grumbled Keith. “Just fuck me up.”

Regris chuckled and let his fangs slip out from his gums and let his tail extend. “Alright Keith. I’ll fuck you up. Let your horns out. I want to be able to grab onto something when I smash you into the couch.”

Keith rolled his eyes and let his horns grow through. The were small and didn’t look overly impressive compared to others in the gang, but he could still gore the fuck out of someone if they pissed him off enough. He leaned over the side of the couch and spread his legs slightly.

“Hurry up and fuck me before I go and find someone else to do it for me.”

“Such a brat.”

“Don’t fucking call me a brat!” Snapped Keith. He turned to try and hit Regris, but the man grabbed him by the horns and shoved his face into the slightly tacky couch cushions. 

“Just shut up and take it. You want a hate fuck, you got a hate fuck.”

“Just get on with it before I flip you over and fuck you.”

“Brat.”

“Limp dick.”


	104. Bolt (Monsters and manna VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter today. It was partially inspired by Ashratherose and partially from talking to my friends who I play D&D with. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With a final blow from Meklavar’s fancy hammer, the red dragon was slain. The group was ecstatic, if not badly beaten. Thundar was passed out on the ground and Block was doing his best to heal him. Shiro almost died (again), Pike was slightly crispy and Valayun’s bow was broken.

“Ha, we did it!” Cheered Meklavar before she fell over and face planted into a pile of gold. “Let’s just rest here…”

“Agreed…” Muttered Pike as he dusted some of the ash off of his body. “You okay there Thundar?” Thundar raised a hand and gave a thumbs up. “Yeah, he’s fine…” Pike lied back to Meklaver and wheezed out a cloud of ash. “I hate dragons…”

Valayun nodded in agreement. “Dragons are interesting creatures… Well, now that we have the dragon’s treasure, I guess the only responsible thing to do would be to let the people at the outpost know about this…”

“After we check it out.” said Pike. “Like, we could find some good gear in here… Magic stones… some gold for us…”

“He’s right.” Said Meklavar. “We might find something useful. Heck, we might find something important we can give to like a king or a church?”

“She has a point.” Said Shiro. “But we should all rest first.”

“I have some food.” Said Block.

The group was soon treated to a feast of everything soup. Which was just bread soup with some meat and vegetables. Block was a wizard when it came to cooking, even though he was a Cleric. When the group was done eating they all settled down for a long rest. Well, most people did. When everyone was asleep, Pike quickly perked up and went to break Thundar out of his meditative state. The two of them ran around to the other side of the gold pile and settled inside a giant pot. It was big enough for two giants to sit together side by side.

They sat together and Thundar snuggled up to Pike. “You okay? You kind of got burnt pretty badly.”

Pike shrugged. “I got a little toasted, but I slipped on some coins, so it was my fault. But what about you? It stepped on you. You almost died.”

“Well I managed to distract it long enough for Meklavar to kill the dragon. So, it turned out okay. Block managed to heal me enough so I could stand.”

“True… But you still worried me.” Said Pike. He gently cupped Thundar’s face and stared deeply into his eyes. Thundar leaned forward and the two of them kissed. It started off innocently enough, but quickly became heated with their hands all over one another. They started to tug at each other’s clothes. Too many of them were in the way.

***

“Alright.” Said Coran as he looked at Keith and Lance. “Do you two want to proceed with intercourse?”

“I’m game.” Said Lance.

Keith looked over at Shiro. “... Just because it will piss him off I’ll do it.”

Lance pouted. “Really? You know what, I’ll take it.”

Coran shook his head. “Alright you two, I need a few things. I need a strength check, acrobatics check, a performance check, and a stealth check. Roll.”

Lance went first. “19, 6, 16, 18.”

“Did you remember to add your bonuses?” Asked Pidge.

“Oh right.” Lance quickly recalculated. “... 17, 8, 17, 22.”

Coran nodded and looked over at Keith. “Your turn lad.”

Keith quickly rolled his dice and remembered to add the extra numbers. “18, 14, nat 20, 10.”

Coran nodded and took a deep breath. He looked over at everyone else. “Roll perception with disadvantage.”

The three quickly rolled their perception check with disadvantage; 7, 3, 15, 10.

Coran nodded again and took a deep breath. “Okay… alright… This is how things went down. Thundar manages to “take the lead” in this encounter. Pike is a little too cautious while Thundar, being a little more on the wild side, attempts to convince Pike to be a little more adventurous, but you decide to be a little more vanilla for your first time together. The both of you were really into it and the both of you were convinced that the other is into it. You both had a really good time. Though Thundar was a little loud which causes a slight echo in the pot you two are currently… Fornicating in.”

Lance grinned and fistbumped Keith. “Hell yeah. We’re good at sex in game too.”

Pidge slapped Lance with a pillow. “Gross. More info then I needed to know.”

“Tone it down buddy.” Said Hunk.

Coran cleared his throat. “I’m not done yet. Now with the other party… Block, you heard nothing and slept through it all. Same with you Meklevar. Valayun, you stir a little but end up falling back into your meditative state. Shiro… you… um… You heard something and you wake up… You notice that Pike and Thundar are no longer there… You connect the dots.”

Shiro sighed. “Damn it… I just roll over and pretend I didn’t hear anything.”

“Good man.” Said Coran. “Okay, when we get back, Thundar and Pike are dressed again… and go.”

***

Pike smiled a little as he helped put Thundar’s hair back onto a ponytail. “Was that good for you too babe?”

“Hmm, you know it was… I wasn’t too loud, was I?” Asked Thundar. “Shiro’s going to kick our ass for doing premarital sex.”

“Screw him.” Said Pike. “You know, I didn’t think our first time would be in a giant pot…”

Thundar shrugged. “Could have been worse. Could have fucked in the swamp with the mud crab.”

Pike chuckled and grinned. “Yeah, we probably would have died from something. Block would not have been happy about healing us.”

“Yeah, we should go back before one of them wakes up…” Thundar crawled out of the pot and his hand slipped on something. He gasped a little as he slid down the gold pile slightly.

“Shit, are you okay there Thundar?” Asked Pike as he followed after him.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Said Thundar. He sat up and looked down at the gemstone he happened to grab when he fell out in the first place. It was dark blue with a glowing blue lightning bolt down the middle. He frowned a little and rubbed it a little.

Suddenly the gemstone heated up. There was a crack of lightning and the stone exploded. In its place was a direwolf with blue streaks streaking its mane. Its big yellow eyes stared at him and Thundar was mesmerised. There was a connection between them. Like this wolf was speaking to him through his mind.

Thundar reached out and touched the animal’s forehead. He felt overwhelming feelings of loyalty, devotion, respect, and admiration. Thundar smiled at them and scratched behind their ears.

“Dude…” Whispered Pike. “That’s an elemental wolf… Back away slowly…”

“He’s not dangerous.” Said Thundar. “Bolt is nice.”

“Bolt?” Questioned Pike. “Did you just…? Never mind…”

“What the fuck is going on over here?” Asked Meklevar as she stomped over a pile of gold followed by the rest of the party. “Holy shit! Is that an elemental wolf? Did you bond with it?”

Thundar shrugged. “Well I’m patting him and Bolt’s not killing me, so I guess?”

Block grinned and looked at Bolt. “Wow, I can’t believe there was an elemental animal in here… Still really cool. You called him Bolt?”

“Yep.”

“Well you better be able to look after him.” Said Shiro. “A pet is a very big responsibility and… Pike, why are you crouched on top of that pot?”

Everyone looked up to see Pike crouched on top of the giant pot looking very uneasy. “No reason…”

Valayune frowned a little before she gasped. “Oh! This is because you’re a Womblax, right? Womblax naturally avoid canine creatures since their ancestors are natural enemies.”

“Aw, the thief is scared of the little canine?” Cooed Meklevar.

Pike hissed at her and stayed perched on top of the pot. The rest of the group shrugged and went back to have their rest. Pike, however, continued to stay on top of the pot and glared at the elemental wolf that happily followed behind Thundar. Thundar had acquired a new pet and was quite happy about it. An elemental wolf would make their adventuring a lot more interesting.

Bolt seemed quite pleased to be with Thundar and oblivious to everyone else around him. He happily sat next to Thundar and curled up by him while wagging his tail. Pike continued to hiss at Bolt and just wasn’t happy with his existence.

***

The session ended there with Keith getting a new, powerful pet. Everyone was happy with him and Lance was talking about how they had awesome ingame sex. Pidge warned him not to act like a neckbeard just because Pike and Thundar fucked once. Lance said he wouldn’t and they ended up going back to their rooms for the evening.

Before Lance could head off to his own room, Keith happened to grab him and pulled him into his room. Lance raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Something up Keith?”

“Hmm, little horny.” Muttered Keith. “Been a while since we’ve had time to do it. Not fair that our characters could fuck but not us.”

Lance grinned and kissed him. “Agreed. Totally not fair. I’m gonna fuck you so hard.” He purred.

Keith smirked. “Oh, you wanna fuck me? Don’t wanna be a good boy and ride me?” He asked. “Come on, maybe if we don’t tire each other out we can go a few rounds.”

“... Dios I love you.” Whispered Lance as he locked Keith’s bedroom door.


	105. Body paint (Royal AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you guys know, I posted the Incubus AU and Camboys AU as their own stories earlier today if you want to read those again and not scroll through everything just hop over to my stories and check them out. They aren't hard to find I put in the summary they were originally on this. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Much to Yurak’s surprise, the body paint came rather quickly. It arrived in the early afternoon the next day. It was in a decent sized jar, and looked kind of like liquid metal. He took the lid off and sniffed it. It kind of smelled like flowers. Weird. Well, if Lance liked body paint then body paint was what he was doing to get.

Yurak put the jar of body paint on Lance’s bedside table. He was happy to see that Lance still had the skull. It made him smile as he happily poked it. Maybe he should scent mark a few of the things in Lance’s room? Just to let other Galra know that he was courting Lance.

Then again Lance might see that as controlling and unpleasant. Yurak didn’t want Lance to think badly of him. He was trying really hard to show Lance that he would be a good partner. It was just hard with the obvious cultural differences. Alteans seemed to be a lot more flashy with everything they did. Fashion over function.

“...” Yurak lightly scented the corner of the bedsheets. He doubted his scent would transfer to Lance, but he still wanted to do it. If Lance was Galra, then Yurak would scent Lance’s cheeks and neck by rubbing his wrists over those places. Lance would probably flip out on him if he tried.

Lance walked into the room and looked a little surprised to see Yurak in his room. “Um, hey?”

Yurak smiled a little and waved at him. “Hey. Have you enjoyed the grounds?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind going back to the town sometime soon.”

“Of course. Um… Here.” Yurak gestured to the body paint. “It’s, um… body paint. From Altea.”

“Oh?” Lance walked over and opened the jar. He nodded in approval and put it back down. “This is pretty good quality stuff. Thank you.”

Yurak preened under the praise. Lance liked his courting gift. He liked it. He actually liked it. It made him feel good to get Lance a courting gift he liked. Maybe he could get Lance some more body paint? That made him happy.

Suddenly Lance took the lid off the paint, dipped his finger in, and wiped some on Keith’s hand. It surprised him and Yurak watched the colours quickly dance across his velvet fur. It dried relatively quickly and Lance easily rubbed it off with his thumb. 

“Nice. Works well on fur too.”

Yurak tilted his head slightly. “Hmm?”

“Now I can paint you too.”

“...” Yurak’s fur puffed up. “W-what? Really?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. Just need some paint brushes.”

“I-I’ll go and get some.” Yurak quickly ran out of the room and went to find the elusive paint brushes.

***

Lance wasn’t too sure how he felt about Yurak. He liked him, but he wasn’t sure he liked him that way. However, after they painted each other he would know if they were compatible or not. Altean’s were a very touch driven society.

When Yurak came back he had several paint brushes. “What now?” He asked.

Lance sat on the bed and took his shirt off. He paid no mind to Yurak making a small squeaking noise when he did so. “We paint each other. On Altea, if two people like each other but one of them is unsure we paint each other.”

Yurak looked confused. “I fail to see how this will make us know if we like each other or not.”

“It’s because Altean’s are very touch focused.” Said Lance calmly. “You can tell a lot about someone by how they touch another’s body.”

“... A-alright.” Said Yurak quietly. “Do you want me to paint you first?”

“Let me paint you first so you have an idea of what to do.”

“... Okay. Um… What do I do?”

“Strip to your undergarments and lay on the floor.” Said Lance. He passed Yurak a pillow. “Lay on your stomach.”

Yurak looked down at the pillow and then back up at Lance. “... My undergarments?”

“Is there a problem?”

“No…”

In all honesty, Lance didn’t expect Yurak to comply. But to his credit the Duke did as Lance asked and stripped down to his undergarments before he quickly got on the floor. Lance sat next to him and hummed a little at how awkwardly Yurak was trying to get comfortable on the ground. It was cute.

“Reminds me of when you got smashed at the wedding.” Mused Lance. 

“Yeah…” Muttered Yurak.

Lance ran his hand over Yurak’s back. The dorsal hair along Yurak’s spine was thicker than everywhere else on his body. He noticed how tense Yurak was under his hand. “... Are you okay there Yurak?”

“I-I’m fine…”

“Really?”

“... Galra don’t normally get this intimate with someone until well into the later stages of courting.” Said Yurak quietly. “... B-but Altean’s are intimate with their courting so we will do this.”

“... I admire your dedication.” Lance picked a larger brush, dipped it into the paint, and ran it down Yurak’s spine. The paint easily coated and clung to the Galra’s fur. Mixing with his purple fur it made the paint look more silver and magenta. Against his own skin the paint would appear more bronze or gold.

He very carefully ran the paint brush all the way down to the tip of Yurak’s tail. It looked pretty already. Lance started to paint different patterns across Yurak’s back; swirls, vines, flowers, thorns, and spots. It was a little hard with the fur, but he was doing a decent job of it.

“Body paint isn’t just for decoration.” Said Lance calmly. “It can tell a story, show a deep bond between others, and show lovers how they would be treated through the relationship. This part of courting comes from an old Altean legend.”

“What kind of legend?” Asked Yurak. 

“The legend of Nir and Silbe.” Lance looked through the paint brushes. “Nir was an Altean Queen and Silbe was her concubine. Silbe said to be a beautiful woman with hair like gold and eyes like rubies. Queen Nir and Silbe were deeply in love, but back then love between same sex couples between royalty was frowned upon since it couldn’t produce an hair to the throne. People also couldn’t believe that Nir could love Silbe more than her male lovers. So Silbe and Nir took to painting each other in fine and intricate art. Every day it was a new design. To paint each design they would need to spend varga’s together.”

“Huh… What happened to them?”

“In legend? Queen Nir died after her first child and Silbe painted her body one last time before she was laid to rest.” Said Lance. “But what actually happened was Queen Nir passed away after her third child, the birth was complicated. But Silbe did paint her body one last time. No one else but her could do it. After that it became a tradition to paint or partners.”

“That sounds nice.” Said Yurak quietly. “Galra are… We don’t normally touch people like this unless we are ready to… Um… be more intimate…”

“You mean sex?”

“Yeah…” Said Yurak quietly. “Touching someone like this is… I’d only be expected to be touched like this by a parent when I was a small kit and needed them to look after me, or a physician when I became sick… This is very… It’s odd… But if you need to do this then I’ll do it.”

Lance raised an eyebrow and started to wave his hand over the paint to try and dry it faster. “I see… Well you can roll over now. I want to paint your chest and stomach now.”

“... Okay…” Yurak slowly rolled over and Lance continued to paint him. He seemed very nervous. It was kind of funny and kind of endearing. 

He appreciated how much Yurak was willing to go for him. From this he got a feel of what kind of lover Yurak might be. He’d be a nervous lover. Unsure of his actions, but eager to please. Lance smiled a little to himself as he ran the paint brush across Yurak’s stomach and dipped into his belly button. Yurak’s stomach quivered a little at the contact. Lance continued to paint him. He painted up along Yurak’s neck, face and arms. He then happily painted along Yurak’s legs. Lance thought it was one of his best works yet.

“Okay, all done.” Said Lance happily. “Want to see what you look like in the mirror?”

“Um, okay…” Said Yurak meekly. He slowly got up and walked over to the mirror and looked very surprised at himself. He looked very surprised, almost mesmerized at the silver and magenta colouring on his fur. “Wow… And you want me to paint you like this?”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t expect you to paint me like that. I’ve been practicing for years. Painting intricate patterns is something I can do quite easily at this point. The point of doing this isn’t to make the most beautiful patterns, but to have fun with it and to touch each other in an intimate, but non sexual way. So come on Yurak, paint me.”

Lance stripped down to his undergarments and laid down on the floor. A few ticks later Yurak was kneeling by him and awkwardly grabbed the paintbrush and the body paint. “... So, you’re not going to be upset if it doesn’t look as good as what you did?”

“Go ahead. I don’t mind”

“... Okay.” With one of the thicker brushes he painted quick dashes down Lance’s spine. It felt a little odd when Yurak was doing it. He didn’t know what Yurak would paint on him, but it would be interesting to see the designs that a Galra would come up with. “Oh, it’s gold?”

“Yeah?”

“It looks kind of silver on me?”

“It’s colour shift body paint.” Said Lance. “It changes depending on your skin tone or hair colour, if we get it in our hair.”

“Huh… Alright…” Yurak continued to paint broad strokes across Lance’s body. Though he seemed to be very hesitant to try and paint any lower than Lance’s hips, even though Lance’s undergarments hung very low on his hips. More than enough room for him to paint.

After what felt like forever Yurak got Lance to roll over and he started to paint the rest of his body. It gave Lance the opportunity to get a good look at how Yurak worked. He really seemed to like working with large strokes. He didn’t seem very fond of the finer brushes that Lance had used on Yurak’s body.

“... Is this okay?” Asked Yurak as he gingerly held Lance’s hand. He was in the middle of painting each of Lance’s fingers. “Am I doing it right?”

“You’re doing just fine.” Said Lance in a reassuring manner. “It looks good.”

“Really? It’s not nearly as nice as what you did for me…”

Lance shrugged. “I like it. It’s pretty.”

“Really? It’s not nearly as intricate…” He muttered. “I don’t have as much experience doing these kinds of things.”

“It’s fine.” Reassured Lance. “Really… So what things would you do if we were courting the Galra way? Like, what would be the equivalent?”

Yurak’s fur puffed up a little and he quickly looked away. “Oh… It um… Since we have gotten so close right now we would probably be scenting each other…”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Scenting? Like an animal?”

“... We have scent glands in our wrists.” Said Yurak quietly. “We rub our wrists together to stimulate them and we’d rub our wrists on each other’s neck and cheeks… But we don’t have to do that if you don’t want to. It’s probably weird for an Altean…”

“And body paint isn’t weird for you?”

“... Well…”

“You can scent me if you want.” 

“Really?” Asked Yurak. He seemed shocked that Lance would be okay with him doing that.

“It’s important to you, right?” Asked Lance. “And um… You’ve put up with Altean courting rituals too so… I trust you.” From his brushstrokes, he could tell Yurak wasn’t good with the fine details, but he was confident in what he did, as long as he got some reassurance. It was sweet. He could possibly see a future with Yurak if they continued to court each other.

“Well, if you’re sure…” Yurak rubbed his wrists together a few times before he lightly rubbed them against Lance’s neck and he lightly pressed them against his cheeks. This close to Lance’s nose he could smell something distinctly musky and kind of like mild smoke? It wasn’t bad, but it was certainly distinct.

“... So you just scented me, right?”

Yurak nodded as his ears quickly drooped. “Yeah… It was too much too soon, wasn’t it? It’s very… It’s too intimate…”

Lance chuckled and gently held his hand. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. I don’t mind. So what does scenting mean?”

Yurak’s tail nervously flicked around. “W-well… Sometimes parents will scent their kits before going out to make sure they don’t get lost, or as a way of identifying them if they get lost… Between adults it’s a way of saying that we are together and courting each other… and that they shouldn’t try and approach you with the intent of courting you…”

“Ah, I see. Interesting.”

There was a knock at the door and both of them jumped in surprise. “Yes?” Called Yurak.

The door cracked open slightly. “Duke Yurak? You’re in there?”

“Yes, I am in here with Lance.” He said.

“Ah, yes. Very good. I came to inform you that your mother has stopped by for an impromptu visit.”

“...” Yurak started cursing under his breath. “Tell her I’ll be down in a few ticks.”

“Very good sir.” They closed the door and Yurak quickly got up and scrambled to pull his tunic back on.

“Is everything okay?” Asked Lance. “Is there something wrong with your mother being here?”

Yurak sighed. “I never know why she has turned up. If she comes here without mentioning it beforehand it’s likely that something bad has happened or something good happened… I have no idea until I talk to her… I don’t think she knows you are here...”

“Is this going to be a problem?”

“I don’t know.” Said Yurak. “Put some clothes on… If the body paint is dry.”

“Okay… Guess it’s time to meet the inlaws?”

“Yeah… This is going to be interesting…”


	106. Walkdown (POTO AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final part of this AU. I hope you all enjoyed it. I'll be posting it as its own collection later on this week. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The final performance went off without a hitch. Allura and Lotor closed the show. Lance was happily cheering them on from backstage. After the show tonight the group was going to celebrate a successful production. It was going to be awesome. The whole crew would be there. These parties were always awesome. 

Lance just wished that Keith would be there too. But the poor man wouldn’t have been comfortable or had a good time. He probably would have just found a quiet corner and played on his phone the whole evening. Not fun at all for anyone.

“Hey man.” Said Hunk as he walked over to him.

Lance grinned and hugged his friend. “Hey man. Less than an hour left until we’re done.”

“Yep. Can’t wait. Man, I hope the buffet has that lemon chicken like they did last year.”

“Only reason you do this huh?”

Hunk laughed. “Yeah. Pidge says the only reason they do this is to get her hands on the chocolate mud cake they usually have there.”

Lance groaned and bit his bottom lip. “That cake is so good.” 

“Yeah. You and Keith are a thing now, right?”

Lance blushed. He hadn’t told anyone about it yet. It was still kind of early and he was pretty sure Keith would have freaked out if people knew. “How did you find out?”

“Oh, the other day Keith was talking to Pidge up in the sound booth and I might have caught some of the conversation…” Said Hunk. He looked slightly guilty. “I had my headphones on so I could do some sound check and I heard Pidge talking about Keith having a boyfriend… I was a little surprised, but I was happy for him. Then he finger spelled your name and showed Pidge the um… Darn, I don’t remember what it’s called exactly, but it’s like the shorthand version of your name? He used the sign for warmth. That was so sweet and adorable.”

Lance blushed. Warmth? That was so cute. And Keith was talking to Pidge about them being a thing? So did this mean he could tell people that they were a couple? It made him smile.

“Yeah, Keith and I are a couple. We only just got together a week before the musical started. We’re going to get more serious when this is all over.”

“That’s great. So is he going to come to the afterparty?”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t think so… He said he was going to be working tonight after the show…”

“Oh, that sucks.”

“Yeah, but it is what it is.” The audience started cheering and people were starting to bow. Everyone was happy and the chorus started to take their bows. People were happy, everyone was enjoying the spotlight. Lance happily clapped when Allura and Lotor went out to take their bows. The crowd went wild like they usually did for the golden couple.

When they came backstage, Lance congratulated Allura and several other people that he knew well. Everyone was excited and happy that it was over. Coran happily clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. 

“Alright everyone. You all have the address, right? Our reservation is in half an hour. Get your things and head over.” He said. Everyone that was going to go happily got their stuff together to leave. Others were going to just head off to be with their families. Lance had already informed his family he was going to head to the afterparty.

Though then again he did want to spend time with Keith. He didn’t think it would be right to let the poor janitor clean up the whole place by himself… But then again he was kind of expected to be at the party... 

Lance had a plan. He’d go there for about half an hour, grab some dinner for him and Keith to eat, and head back to the theater to have a cute little dinner date. It would be perfect. He was sure Keith would love it, and people would understand that he needed to go for one reason or another.

***

When everyone was gone, Keith set about cleaning up the theater. No one would be around so he put in his earbuds and happily cleaned up the stage area. After today the theater would be closed for a week before all the dance and music recitals would start up. So many small screeching kids and angry Karen’s harping on their precious babies. It was annoying but he could just keep to the shadows and no one talked to him.

Also, this meant that he and Lance were going to start taking their relationship seriously. They could go to… the library? A museum? He felt bad that he couldn’t do normal couple things with Lance. Maybe after a few sessions with a therapist he would be able to go to nice places with Lance.

The thought of being able to go to a theme park or out to the shops with Lance made him incredibly happy. It would be fun. He might not be able to talk, but he wanted to be able to be somewhere with Lance… Maybe if things went well then he could bring Lance back to his house? Watch some movies… Have dinner… Maybe do some stuff a little more… Physical…

Keith went red at that thought. He knew for sure that Lance would be more experienced than him in that department. He was a poor, nervous, virgin guy. He’d probably end up making a fool of himself. That thought gave him anxiety, but he had to squash those feelings. They were nowhere near that stage in their relationship yet. Plus he was pretty sure that Lance would be nice to him when the time came around. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy that would push him into doing something he wanted to.

He sighed a little and put his music onto shuffle to listen to something else rather than ambient music. He was quite happy to hear his Chicago playlist kicking in. He personally thought the story was a little trashy, but the music was fun. He was currently listening to Razzle Dazzle. It was a good song and something fun to sing along to as he mopped the stage,

 _“Razzle dazzle ‘em and they’ll never catch wise!”_ He sang. _“Give ‘em the old Razzle Dazzle. Razzle dazzle ‘em. Give ‘em a show that’s so splendiferous, row after row will crow vociferous.”_ He stared at the floor as he did a little spin. _“Give ‘em the old flim flam flummox. Fool and fracture ‘em. How can they hear the truth above the roar?”_

Keith smiled happily and continued to sing as he cleaned. Maybe one day he would be able to have a whole vocal conversation with Lance? Maybe they could sing together? That would be nice. Then maybe he’d be able to tell Lance that he was the Phantom and they could look back on that time and laugh? That would be nice. He’d love that.

 _“Though you are stiffer than a girder, they’ll let you get away with murder. Razzle dazzle ‘em, and got a roma-”_ Keith happened to glance up and his voice instantly died in his throat. Standing in the walkway was Lance. 

He was staring at Keith with wide eyes as his mouth moved like a fish out of water. Then Lance managed to find his voice. “Keith… You’re The Phantom?”

While Keith was glad it finally clicked in Lance’s head, he was scared. This was too early. Lance would feel betrayed. Lance would hate him. Lance did hate him. He had to. Keith dropped the broom and ran off stage. He quickly escaped into the costume room and hid behind a box. He was panicking. Lance was going to hate him. He was going to dump him. Lance was going to dump him and Keith wasn’t brave enough to try and speak up for himself. He started to rub at his eyes to try and stop himself from crying. It wasn’t working.

The door to the costume room suddenly opened up. “Keith?! Are you in here?”

Keith bit his bottom lip and hoped that Lance wouldn’t find him. That Lance wouldn’t tell him how much of a disappointment he was. He just wanted Lance to go away and leave him alone. He didn’t want Lance to tell him he never wanted to see him again. What if Lance was in the musical next year? Would Keith even be able to do his job? … Would he have to tell Shiro he could do it anymore? Then he’d have to hear how disappointed Shiro was in him too. He was quickly spiralling and didn’t know what to do.

“There you are.” Said Lance. He crouched down next to him. “Are you okay? … Oh shit, you’re having a panic attack aren’t you? Um… Deep breaths, try counting back from ten. Do it with me Keith, deep breath in, ten. Exhale, inhale, nine...” Lance continued to talk Keith through his instructions until Keith calmed down.

Keith was a lot calmer, but he was still really, really scared. Lance was going to break up with him. Maybe he would be mad enough about being lied to about who he was that he would hit him? He’d deserve it. Probably. If he hit him he hoped that it wouldn’t bruise anywhere Shiro or Adam could see. Lance might hate him now but Keith still liked him.

“Are you okay?” Asked Lance in a calm and concerned voice.

Keith shook his head and cautiously took out his phone. He wasn’t sure if Lance would snatch his phone away and try to make him speak. When he didn’t, Keith quickly sent him a message.

**Keith**   
_I’m sorry I lied to you. Please don’t hate me._

“Hate you?” Asked Lance. “Why would I hate you? Sure, I’m a little upset you didn’t tell me, but that’s also kind of on me… I am not that good at putting faces to voices… I know, kind of dumb, but if I’m not really paying them attention then I don’t really make the connections…”

**Keith**   
_I’m sorry. I should have told you it was me._

“It’s okay Keith. I understand.” Said Lance. “You um… You’re kind of anxious around other people, right? You just made up another persona to help me. Right?”

Keith nodded, he was glad that Lance understood what he was doing, but he knew that Lance wasn’t happy with him. This was the end of their very short relationship. Lying was a huge deal in relationships. He remembered Adam and Shiro getting into a fight about something stupid when they were younger. He forgot the specifics but someone had lied to someone about something.

**Keith**   
_You don’t have to be so nice. Just break up with me and go._

Lance read the message and was shocked. “What? Break up with you? No, no, no, no, no! Keith, I don’t want to break up with you. I still want to be your boyfriend… But I think we need to talk…” He passed Keith the half skull mask and smiled slightly. “If you’re more comfortable to talk while wearing this…”

***

The two of them ended up sitting on the stage. Keith was wearing the mask and they were eating some takeout Vietnamese food that Lance got on the way there. Wearing the mask really seemed to help Keith relax enough to talk. Maybe they should invest in a mask that was less elaborate or something? Thoughts for later.

This wasn’t really the kind of romantic dinner date Lance wanted to have, but he was okay with it. He didn’t really feel betrayed that Keith never told him he was the Phantom, he was just surprised that Keith felt the need to do this.

“Yeah… So can I ask you some questions?” Asked Lance.

Keith nodded. “Yeah, but I am pretty sure you want to ask me why I don’t talk…”

“Um, yeah…” Muttered Lance.

“... When I was younger I was in and out of a lot of foster homes.” Said Keith quietly as he picked at his mi quang. “The last home I went to before I went to live with Shiro strongly believed in the old saying that children should be seen and not heard… They were ultra conservative and they… They believed in corporal punishment… The only way things could get done around the house was if I didn’t talk so I just stopped doing it in front of people… I stopped playing music around the same time too because well… I couldn’t practice at that place. They even broke that shitty plastic recorder they made us play at school. Blamed me for breaking it too.”

That was heartbreaking. Lance didn’t want to pry more into Keith’s personal life before he was ready. This was a good enough explanation for now. “So, how did you pick up ASL?”

“Shiro’s dad is deaf.” Said Keith. “Me being mute made it hard to communicate so he taught me how to sign. It was good. I was finally able to talk to people without having to use my voice… I’ve got a lot of internalised self hatred because of my voice…”

“I understand… You know what Keith? I still don’t want to break up with you.” Said Lance. “I care too much about you to do that.”

“... Really? But I lied to you.”

“Do you think I can’t sing?” Asked Lance.

Keith seemed surprised. “What? No. You’re a really good singer. A good actor too.”

“Yeah? Do you think I deserved the lead roll?”

“Yes! You’re amazing! Please don’t doubt yourself!” Said Keith quickly. “I wanted to help you refine your voice and get better at what you obviously love doing!”

“Then you didn’t lie to me.” Said Lance. “Well, you only lied a little, but you didn’t lie about that stuff, right? You were just helping me out in your own special, Keith way. Right?”

“Yeah... You’re way too nice to me.” Said Keith quietly. “I lied to you and pretended to be someone I’m not… Don’t you hate me? I… I’m a bad person.”

“You’re not a bad person.” Reassured Lance. “You’re just a little awkward… and I’m really glad you helped me… I wouldn’t be nearly as good if it wasn’t for you.”

Keith looked confused. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” He gently squeezed Keith’s hand and smiled at him. “It’s okay. When you’re done eating, wanna stop at the gas station? I heard that they sell the doughnuts at half price after nine. We could get away with so many.”

“You really like doughnuts, don’t you?”

“They taste really, really good.” Whined Lance. “Are you going to see someone about your trauma?”

Keith nodded. “I’m looking around at the moment. I’ll find someone soon.”

“Nice.” Lance leaned over and kissed Keith’s cheek. Keith squeaked in surprise, but smiled at him. He was happy. They were happy. Everything was going to be okay.

***

Around half a year later Keith and Lance were still going strong. Keith had found a therapist a month after the musical ended and he’d made a lot of progress. Keith was starting to give quick, one to two word answers to cashiers. It was a huge step for him. Lance had been supporting him a lot too in Keith’s musical endeavours.

He managed to convince Keith to let him start a Youtube channel where Lance would upload Keith’s covers. Keith didn’t want to read the comments, but Lance was more than happy to read off the nice comments.

“Oh! Have you covered any Taylor Swift?” Asked Lance one afternoon as he lounged on Keith’s bed. Keith himself was tuning his guitar on the floor.

“No.” He said quietly. “I don’t think so… I’d need to check.”

Lance hummed a little and continued to scroll through the comments. “... Anything by MCR? Maybe Panic? I’d love to hear you sing Emperor's New Clothes. That would be hot.”

Keith blushed and looked up at him. “Y-you think so?”

“Yeah. I think so.” Lance reached over and lightly ruffled his hair. “You have very cute hair babe.”

Keith blushed and ducked away from his hand. “I’ll think about it.”

Lance grinned and put his phone down. “Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Are you going to be in the musical again this year?”

“Yeah. they’re doing Grease this year.” He said. “Heard Lotor’s not going to be able to do it this year. Something about being out of the country for work or something? I don’t know. Means I have a good shot at being the male lead again this year.”

“I’m rooting for you.”

“Aw, thanks Keith.” He leaned over the side of the bed and happily kissed him. Keith kissed back and they grinned at each other. Yeah, the two of them were in this for the long run.


	107. Sharing is caring (Monster AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting weirder for Lance and his friends are starting to notice it. Keith is trying to be nice. And Shiro's trying to be a good person with very conflicting emotions about Keith. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance sighed a little as he stirred his spoon around the cafferteria’s mac and cheese, or at least what they considered mac and cheese. It was kind of gross and rubbery. More so than usual. It was meant to be special because it had bacon in it, but it tasted like someone had dropped an ashtray in it. There had to be something wrong with his taste buds.

“Lance? Earth to Lance? Are you okay?” Asked Allura.

He looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

Allura usually fluttered between having lunch with Lance, Pidge, and Hunk, and her other friends. Allura was very popular after all with many extracurricular activities. She usually ate lunch with them once or twice a week. Today she managed to drag Lotor over too.

“You seem really spaced out.” Said Allura. “Is something wrong?”

Lance shrugged. “I just realised I don’t feel like eating this mac and cheese as much as I thought I did… It tastes kind of bad to me.”

“Tastes the same to me.” Said Pidge. “Tastes like a burnt rubber tire covered in bacon grease.”

“Yeah… Gonna stick with the sandwich.” Muttered Lance, though he picked the ham off of it.

“Are you going vegetarian or something?” Asked Pidge.

Lance frowned a little and looked down at his tray. He had picked at most things but he ignored and didn’t eat any of the meat there. It was odd. He wasn’t deliberately doing it. “It just doesn’t taste good… Like, it’s cafeteria food. What am I meant to do?”

“Well, it isn’t the worst.” Said Hunk. “There is worse stuff out there.”

Lotor nodded in agreement. “This is why I pack my own lunch. That and my mother is paranoid that the cafeteria is unsanitary… Trauma from her own school experiences.”

“I usually pack my own lunch.” Said Lance. “I just… I’m just kind of tired these days.” He kind of felt that maybe his tiredness was partially due to Keith eating him so often. His body needed to get the energy to make more muscles from somewhere. He should probably consider eating more just so he wouldn’t feel so tired hours after a feeding. 

“Study?” Questioned Allura. “Maybe you’re studying too hard? That coupled with what happened… Are you seeing a counselor?”

Lance shrugged. “I think my mama is trying to sort it out before she goes back to work. Not sure.”

“Want to hang out at my place after school?” Asked Pidge. “I got some new games I’m sure you’ll love.”

“... I think I’m just going to go home today.” Said Lance. “I just want to sleep…” That and he needed to go and feed Keith that evening. Hopefully he’ll only want one or two bites before he lets him go. He went back to stirring his mac and cheese. His friends shared worried looks.

***

Keith had a lot to think about as he tried to hobble together some kind of fix in the roof of his cabin. He felt like he had done a good enough job. Mud and sticks worked wonders. He was thinking a lot about sex but he couldn’t wrap his head around how that made babies. He probably should have asked Lance for more details.

Hell, he should have asked Shiro for more details about sex when he had the chance. He didn’t understand what Lance was talking about. A tingling around his pelvis? Only time he felt any tingling around there was when he really, really needed to pee. Was that what Lance was talking about? He had no idea. It was annoying. How the hell did sex even work? It was a mystery to him.

One of those many mysteries of the human world. Maybe he wouldn’t experience sexual desire until he found another monster like him? Would he be able to find another monster like him? He wasn’t sure. Sex seemed to be something that Lance wanted to avoid talking about. Shiro also didn’t want to talk about it either. It made Keith wonder if sex was painful or something humans saw as taboo.

But if sex came naturally was it bad? Could natural urges be considered bad if they came from an internal need that they needed to fulfill? If he remembered correctly in one of his later talks with Shiro he had asked him what do humans need to survive. Shiro had two answers.

_“Well, an individual human needs food, water, and shelter to survive. However for humans as a species to survive, then the species needs to have sex. That is, to have babies to make more of them.”_

His species, the monster species, couldn’t survive unless Keith had sex with someone and had babies with them. He wondered where he would be able to find another monster like himself. Did he even want his species to survive? No one else seemed to want him around anyway… Maybe Lance wanted him around? But Keith wasn’t stupid. He knew that Lance was probably doing this because he didn’t want him to go around eating other people. It was frustrating.

He needed to ask Lance more about how babies were made. Keith wasn’t sure if he wanted to have babies or not. What was he even meant to do with a baby anyway? He sighed and went back into the cabin to tidy everything up. He found a scrubbing brush and tried to get rid of the blood stain on the ground. It was kind of unsightly and he felt like the blood made Lance feel uncomfortable.

Keith still had the deer horns, but didn’t know what to do with them so he left them on the table. He could probably eat them if he wanted to eat something crunchy. Maybe Lance would like them? Maybe he could give Lance the horns in exchange for human knowledge about sex? That seemed like it might be a fair deal to him.

The door to the cabin opened and Lance walked in. Keith smiled at him. “Lance!” The man hummed a little. He shrugged off his backpack, took off his shirt, and laid face down on the bed. “Lance?” He walked over and lightly poked his arm. “Are you okay?”

“Just shut up and eat me…” Lance sounded annoyed and stressed.

“... Okay. But after that we're going to talk.”

“Fine.” 

Keith gently squeezed along Lance’s arm until he found a muscle he liked and sunk his teeth in. It tasted nice. He took a few mouthfuls and sat back. “Can we talk now? … Lance?” He lightly nudged the man and was surprised to see that he was asleep. It was… odd. Keith didn’t know what to do. He should probably just let Lance sleep for a little bit. He wiped the blood still on Lance’s skin and went back to tidying the cabin.

He had a good idea about what most of the thighs in the cabin were, but there was one thing he still didn’t understand. It was black, made of metal, had a little door in the front and a pipe that went all the way up and through the roof. It was weird. The metal box was also filled with black dirt. Yet another thing he needed to ask Lance about it.

When he was done cleaning he went back over to Lance and sat next to the bed, resting his chin on the mattress. Lance looked peaceful while he was sleeping. Keith liked it. He reached over and gently ran his fingers over Lance’s body. Every slight dip and crevice. He liked the muscle definition in his shoulders and arms. He also liked touching Lance’s body in general.

He had a yearning to be held by someone. Hell, he wanted to hold someone that wouldn’t try and escape his grasp. He knew he was a monster and wouldn’t be able to do those kinds of things, but he could always dream, right?

He ran his hand over Lance’s stomach and felt a slight tremor. It was very subtle, but Keith could tell what it was. Lance was hungry… But what did humans even eat? They had some pointy teeth, so they had to be able to eat meat, right?

A thought entered his mind. A thought that made the monster inside him ripple just under his skin. It was something that made his guts twist slightly at the perverse nature of it all, but at the same time it seemed right.

Keith looked down at his forearm and bit into it. Tears swelled up in his eyes a little. Unlike Lance, he could feel pain. He ripped a small chunk of flesh off of his body. It wasn’t that pretty red colour like Lance’s body. It looked like mud with different hues of green, blue and purple saturated through it. It had the consistency of mud too.

He very carefully and tenderly pressed it up against Lance’s lips to see if he would eat it. In Keith’s mind, it stood to reason that if he could eat Lance then there was no reason that Lance couldn’t eat him either. Besides, Lance was hungry right now. He’d give Lance food when he needed it. With a little bit of gentle coxing, Keith managed to push his flesh into Lance’s mouth. He was careful with it and made sure that Lance swallowed before he forced a little more in.

Once Lance had eaten that small part of himself, Keith bit off a slightly larger chunk of himself and fed it to Lance while pained tears ran down his face. It hurt too much to keep feeding Lance. He was kind of grateful that Lance couldn’t feel pain now. Getting bitten fucking hurt.

He wasn’t able to heal like Lance could and he didn’t know how to bandage an injury. So he just sat there on the floor and waited for Lance to wake up. He put his hand back on Lance’s stomach to see if he was still hungry. No more little growls or strange fluttering to indicate he was hungry. It made him smile. Lance was full and he felt like he had done a good job.

Eventually Lance started to stir and he sat up. “Did I fall asleep or something? Shit! The sun’s starting to set?! Fuck, I need to get home! What the fuck happened?”

Keith watched Lance panic slightly and handed him his shirt. “You got tired and fell asleep. You were hun-” 

“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?”

Keith frowned and looked down at the bite marks on his arm. “Oh, that was-”

“Doesn’t matter! Jesus fucking Christ!” Lance pulled on his shirt and looked through his bag. Keith just watched him curiously. Lance came back with a handful of tissues. He quickly pushed them against the wound. “Fucking hell… Did you have that when I walked in? I can’t believe I missed that… Fuck, I just told you to shut up and eat me… I’m sorry. I’ve been really tired lately. I’m sorry...”

Keith didn’t understand why Lance was so upset. “You don’t need to be sorry. Why do you feel so tired? Are you sick?”

Lance shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know… I’m not eating meat anymore, so that’s fun… I don’t have a strong grasp on iron and protein substitutes… I’d probably be faring better if I was eating meat but it tastes so bad to me now…”

“I’m sorry.” Said Keith quietly. “I… I don’t really know what to do…”

“Yeah, yeah… Anyway, not that important right now.” Lance dug through his bag again and took out a bandage. He wrapped Keith’s arm up and sighed. “Are you okay? Does your arm hurt?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay.” His arm did hurt, but he was just happy that Lance seemed to be less tired. “I’ll be fine after I eat something.”

“Oh, then eat me.”

“I’m not hungry at the moment. I’d need to eat a lot of meat and I don’t want to take that much from you right now since you seem to be so unwell right now.”

“... Keith.”

“Don’t you need to go back home now? It’s starting to get dark”

“... I guess.”

Keith smiled at him. “If you’re sick and can’t come to see me for a few days I don’t mind. I can find more of those deers to eat.”

“... Okay.” Lance stood up and stretched. “I’ll try and come over tomorrow if I don’t feel sick.” Lance grabbed his bag and quickly left. When he was gone Keith quickly realised that he didn’t get to ask Lance his questions. He felt a little sad about it, but he was okay with that.

Keith sat on his bed and awkwardly touched around the spot where Lance had been laying. He missed Lance already and he was worried about him. He didn’t want Lance to get sick. He wanted to make sure that Lance was okay. He sighed sadly and decided he needed to get some food in case Lance didn’t show up tomorrow.

He left the cabin and very quietly stalked through the forest. The sun had gone down by now and it was dark. The stars were out. Keith had been fascinated by the stars and the moon when he first escaped. Hell, he almost got caught because he stopped to look at them. The stars were pretty and the moon was like a dimmer version of the sun. Maybe it was the sun but someone turned the light off? Yet something else he needed to talk to Lance about. He had way too many questions about the world.

As he walked around the woods he was starting to get annoyed. Why? He couldn’t find any deer or big animals to eat. Not even a rabbit. Maybe they were all scared of him? It was annoying. He tried to stick low to the ground and down wind of anything he thought might be food, but he couldn’t find anything. It was depressing.

Suddenly the wind changed and Keith picked up a smell. It was delicious. It was human. The only human he had been around for the past few days was Lance, so this was nice. He probably shouldn’t do it, but he was hungry. 

Keith quickly darted off into the darkness to loop around to find the people he was smelling. It wasn’t that difficult. It seemed like human senses were pretty awful when it came to well, pretty much everything compared to him. He quickly found who he had smelled. Two people wearing all black were out. They were kind of dressed like the security back at that place. Apparently he didn’t kill them all on his way out. His mistake.

With a shudder he let his monster form slip through and climbed up the nearest tree to stalk them for a bit. They smelled really good and Keith wanted to bite their heads off right away, but he wanted to see what they were doing so far out and away from the building.

“Do you really think that we’ll find anything?” Muttered one of them.

“Who cares? It’s easy money.” Said the other.

“Yeah, whatever.” They continued to slowly make their way through the woods with Keith very carefully climbing through the trees. “What makes them think that this fucking monster is here anyway? Could have run away far over the mountains.”

“I know, but Honerva and Sendak seem convinced that it won’t leave the area.” Muttered the other. “The way they talk about it they make it sound like a salmon going back to the river it was born in to spawn. Or some other fucking animal.”

“Whatever...”

Keith found the conversation interesting and at the mention of Sendak he almost froze. That man was scary. Even a monster like him knew that making Sendak angry was a bad idea. He quickly shook his head and moved so he was right over the top of the two men. He dug his back feet into the tree trunk to anchor himself and slowly lowered himself down. Keith opened his mouth wide. As he did, thick globs of saliva flew from his maw and landed on the men below.

“What the fuck?” 

Before either of them could react, Keith bit down hard on the back of one man’s head. His jaw easily cut through the helmet and skull. As he did that he grabbed the face of the other man and squeezed until bits of brain, face, and other gooey bits oozed out between his fingers. Pleased with his hunt, Keith grabbed one of the bodies in his mouth, picked up the other and walked home with his food.

***

Shiro knew Adam was going to kick his ass. But if he was being honest, he needed to see Lance. He needed to make sure that Lance was okay and find out if he really did make contact with Keith. He knew what they said Lance had already made contact with Keith, but he needed to make sure. For his own piece of mind. 

He wasn’t waiting at the school. Just kind of a little down the street and away from everyone. He watched as the school bell rang and everyone started to leave. Shiro kept an eye out for Lance and it wasn’t too long before Shiro spotted him.

Lance was talking to a larger kid and a smaller person that he couldn’t really tell the gender of at this distance. They got onto a bus and Lance started to walk down the street. A car pulled up next to him and a dark skinned woman with white hair leaned out to talk to him about something. They talked for a few seconds before the car pulled away and Lance continued to walk down the street.

By the time he walked from the school entrance to the end of the school gate, Lance’s stride quickly went from confident to tired. It was odd. But it was the end of the year so seniors were probably going to be pretty tired. He followed Lance for a few blocks before he stood up and followed him on the other side of the street.

Eventually Lance headed to the park. He walked past the kids playing soccer, and more towards the woods. Should Shiro confront him now? Should he confront him after he gets to Keith? Probably best to talk to him before he met up with Keith.

He walked a little faster to catch up to him. “Excuse me?” He called.

Lance jumped a little in surprise and turned around. “Y-yeah?” The teen looked a lot more tired than Shiro thought. He was starting to get dark circles under his eyes and his eyes looked a little bloodshot.

Well, it was time for Shiro to get what he needed. “Yeah… I um… I’m working on the investigation. I work with one of the detectives you met. I think you met Adam before?”

“Yeah… I’ve met him briefly.” Said Lance quietly. He awkwardly shuffled from foot to foot and just looked around nervously. “So what? Do I need to go down to the station?”

“No, just a few questions.” Said Shiro. “Like, have you seen anyone strange recently? Do you go for walks in the forest often?

“...” Lance still looked nervous. He was glancing around, but when he saw his prosthetic arm he just froze. “What happened to your arm? What’s your name anyway?”

“My name is Takashi Shirogane. But you can just call me Shiro.”

“Shiro?” Apparently saying his name seemed to trigger something in Lance’s mind. He went from confused to scared in a matter of seconds. “I… I have to go… Go home… I… I have to…” Lance gripped the strap of his backpack tightly and started to run.

“Shit.” Shiro quickly ran after him. Lance wasn’t nearly as fast as he probably thought he was and Shiro caught up to him and grabbed him, quickly turning him around. Lance looked scared but Shiro didn’t want to do that. “Hey, calm down. I’m not trying to hurt you. You know Keith, don’t you? You’ve met him.”

“I…”

“You’re feeding him.”

“I-I’m not…”

“So you admit that you know him?”

“... Stay away from me!” He pulled himself away from Shiro, still looking scared. “You sure as hell aren’t part of the police! Don’t follow me! Leave me the fuck alone or I’ll call the police!”

“Wait! I… Look, I’m sorry. You clearly know who I am because Keith told you about me. You wouldn’t have acted the way you did if he didn’t… Look, I care about Keith a lot. He isn’t evil. He just… He’s an animal. He’s working on instinct. I don’t blame him for what he’s doing but he… He’s still dangerous. Just because you can regenerate your body when he eats you doesn’t mean that-”

“You know?!” Asked Lance in shock. This teen was a chaotic ball of emotions. He went from scared to pissed off in the blink of an eye. “How the fuck do you know?! … What did you guys do to me?!”

Shiro held his hands up. “Whoa, I didn’t do anything to you. I was just brought in on Project Pupa. I had nothing to do with the Generator experiments.”

“The what? What the fuck are you talking about.”

Shiro groaned in annoyance. “Look, it’s very complicated. I don’t know what everyone is planning, but this is really, really bad… You either have to convince Keith to get the fuck out of here or… Convince him not to fight.”

“What?”

Shiro sighed. “Look, as much as I hate to say it, Keith is government property… I’m pretty sure that we both know how crazy a government can be when it comes to their property. I worried about Keith. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, but if Keith gets caught he’s more than likely going to get killed… There were rumours that he was nearing the end of his usefulness a month ago… And when test subjects are done being useful they get killed.”

“I see…” Lance looked confused. “But what about me? Why am I regenerating like this? I-”

“I don’t know all the details.” Said Shiro quickly. “I don’t know about what they did to you but I’ve already spoken too much. The point is they are tracking Keith down right now. They have a plan and they are probably executing it right now. Please be careful… I… I don’t want Keith to get hurt, but I don’t want him to hurt any more people...”

Lance looked conflicted. “I… I don’t…”

“... I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you.” Said Shiro. “You don’t deserve this. You’re just a kid. He-” Suddenly Shiro’s phone started to go off. He quickly grabbed it and looked at it. It was a message from Sendak demanding that he come back into the office right now. He looked up to say something to Lance, but the boy was already running away from him. He could only hope that Lance actually talked to Keith and either helped him escape or go back. He didn’t know what was worse at this point.


	108. Big boned (Modern fantasy AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bones bones bones bones bones. Gotta look after them bones too. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance and Keith were relaxing and watching TV when they happened to come across some daytime TV show about people losing weight. They paused for a moment when they showed the before and after pictures of a woman who was just a little overweight. Nothing a month or two of diet and exercise couldn’t fix, but her after pic was shockingly thin.

“Isn’t she too skinny now?” Asked Keith. “You can kind of see her bones…”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yeah, she probably went too far, but it’s understandable. These days with Instagram and photoshop a lot of people are unable to tell the difference between what is real and what is fake. Most of these kinds of TV shows and ads target women and play on their insecurities. It’s natural to have fat rolls when you bend over, cellulite is normal, thigh gaps are shockingly unhealthy on most body types.”

As Lance talked Keith very carefully reached under the coffee table and took out a bag of fast food he had hidden there. He had snuck out earlier and bought three large fries and planned to nibble on them throughout the day. The perfect time to do so was when Lance was ranting about health stuff.

“It really upsets me that the media portrays skinny as the superior body type.” Said Lance. “Not every body is the same. Like seriously, just look at a lineup of olympians. The top male or female runner looks radically different from the top male or female kickboxing champion. Each body is different and requires different things to achieve their full potential and… Why are you still eating fries?!”

He grabbed Keith’s hand and pulled it away from his face. Keith pouted. “I thought you just said I shouldn’t get too skinny?”

“You shouldn’t get too fat either!” Snapped Lance. Keith gasped in shock and he suddenly looked depressed. “... I didn’t mean you were overweight… I’ll make you low-calorie fries for dinner.” The doorbell rang and Lance frowned slightly. “I’ll be back in a second.”

When Lance was gone, Keith quickly shoved a handful of fries onto his mouth. Fries were good. They were comforting. Fries wouldn’t hurt him. They were too pure to hurt him.

Moments later Pidge walked into the room as her dog self with a bone in her mouth. Hunk followed her while talking to Lance. “-And Pidge said she was on her way here too, so I thought I would tag along. Does she always come over?”

Lance shrugged. “Lately she’s been coming over with a bunch of bones and the leaves. You guys want something to drink? I can make coffee or tea.”

“Tea would be really nice. Thank you.” Said Hunk. He sat by Keith and the two of them started talking while Lance went to make tea. 

Hunk talked about going to a new gym and how much fun he was having going to some of the weight classes. Keith mentioned that he probably should start to go to the gym instead of just running around the park. Hunk encouraged him to do so since there was a lot of stuff you could do there and the people there were generally nice.

Lance came back with some tea. “Okay guys, here’s the tea… What the hell are you doing Pidge?” The trio looked around and saw Pidge halfway under the couch. She looked stuck. “... Damn it Pidge!”

Lance took hold of Pidge’s hips and pulled her out. As he yanked her out something rolled out with her. It was about the size of a melon and bone white. Probably because it was bone. It was a human skull. Everyone froze in horror.

“WHAT THE FUCK PIDGE?!” Screeched Lance. “WHY IS MY COUCH FULL OF BONES?!”

“OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!” Squealed Hunk.

“HOLY SHIT?! DID YOU KILL SOMEONE?!” Cried Keith.

Once everyone had calmed down they moved the couch and were shocked to see that there was a whole skeleton under Lance’s couch. The bones were completely picked clean. There were no ligaments or muscles at all But the bones were well cleaned and taken care of. It was almost museum quality. 

“I… I can’t believe there was a whole skeleton under there…” Whispered Lance. “Do i call the police? How am I going to explain this?”

“Did you seriously kill someone?” Asked Keith.

Pidge shook her head. “Oh hell no! I didn’t kill anyone! I just found these bones when I was walking around the park! I just like chewing on bones!”

“... Yeah, you totally killed them.” Said Keith.

“Fuck you Porky Pig!”

“Just admit it.” Said Keith.

“I didn’t kill anyone!”

“You’re getting pretty upset about this.”

“That’s because you’re laying!”

“Says the lying liar that killed someone.”

“Calm down Keith.” Said Lance. “I don’t think Pidge is lying.”

“Lance, you’re way too soft on that dog.”

“What are we going to do with the bones?” Asked Hunk.

Lance shrugged. “No idea. Maybe we can-”

Suddenly the skeleton sat up and looked down at their hand. “Finally! I can move again!” Everyone in the room froze in horror as the skeleton stood up and stretched. “Feels good to be all put together again!”

“Ahh! A bone monster!” Cried Hunk

“A w-what now?” Whimpered Lance as he slowly moved to hide behind Keith.

“A bone monster.” Said Hunk. “In the last moments of life, they hold regret, hatred, or other strong negative feelings in their hearts, so the magic power in their bodies turns them into the undead, and they come back from the grave.”

Lance nodded a little. “Right, so they come from the other world too?”

“That’s right!” Said the skeleton. “You can call me Romelle. Pleased to meet you all. But first...” They pointed at Pidge. “For collecting my bones you have my gratitude. Thanks to you I can move again… Though I didn’t appreciate you chewing on them. I forgive you.”

“Um… Thanks? I think?”

Hunk leaned towards Keith. “Looks like she’s not evil at all. She seems kind of nice?”

“I guess so. I guess I’d be happy too if I was able to move again.” Muttered Keith.

“Um, Romelle?” Said Lance quietly.

“Ah yes, what is it Lance?” She asked.

“Can I ask what you are doing here in this world?”

“...” Romelle sighed sadly. “I can tell you, but it’s a long story… I served as a mage for a certain kingdom in the otherworld. But one day, I was falsely accused of treason… I tried to clear my name but it was all in vain and I was sentenced to execution. When I woke up I was reborn as a skeleton. I wandered around aimlessly, and I got totally lost. I don’t even know if the kingdom I served still exists today. I eventually stumbled upon a dungeon and passed through a door. I found it was connected to this world… But the instant I arrived I was hit by a truck and my bones scattered everywhere.”

Keith nodded. “Well, that explains why you were all in pieces.”

Romelle nodded. “Yep. Well, now that I can move again I’m going to enjoy this world!”

“In that form?!” Blurted Lance.

Romelle sighed, and despite her lack of facial muscles she looked extremely upset. “I see… You have realised it by now… You can’t see how fat I’ve gotten when all you can see is my bones!”

“... How the hell does a skeleton even get fat?” Questioned Lance.

Romelle shrugged and pointed to her shoulder blades. “My back is kind of flabby and it’s bugging me.”

“... How are you seeing that?” Questioned Lance. “You’re a skeleton.”

Romelle sighed and cracked her knuckles. “Well, I guess I’ll have to try and make myself visible then… Here we go!” Romelle clenched her fists tightly and her bones started to glow. Powerful magic surrounded her and everyone took a step back. The glow expanded out until it covered all over her bones. From her neck down her skin was slightly see through, but her face, eyes, and hair were opaque. She appeared as a fair skinned woman with blond hair and purple eyes. “Ta-daa!”

“Whoa…” Said Hunk. “You used your magic to cover yourself with a skin?”

Romelle grinned. “That’s right. This is the only visual representation of the body I have now.” She turned around and pointed to the slight pudge on her back. “Can you see it now?”

“Yeah…” Said Lance.

“I just can’t stand that extra flab!” She whined.

“Just ask Lance for help.” Said Keith. “Lance is a pro when it comes to this stuff. Me and everyone else here rely on him for help with our diets.”

“That’s right.” Said Pidge.

“Lance is really good at this stuff.” Said Hunk.

Lance couldn’t help but blush and feel a sense of pride. Romelle looked at the trio, then to Lance, then back to the trio. “Have any of you actually lost weight?”

“...” Lance took his tea and looked away. His pride completely shattered. “That’s because I’m bad at my job…”

“Hey! I got in shape!” Whined Pidge.

“I’d still appreciate help.” Said Romelle. “I know it’ll probably be a challenge but I am willing to give it a go!”

“Will it even help?” Asked Lance. “I mean, you are a skeleton so…”

“No, it’s fine. I appreciate it.” Reassured Romelle.

Lance sighed a little. “Alright… So I’m guessing you don’t exercise that much?”

“Yes, my job as a mage meant I relied on my mind and not my body.” Explained Romelle. “I hardly moved all day while I was in my tower ready to protect and serve the crown.”

“I see…” Lance thought for a moment. “Well, of course lack of exercise causes muscle atrophy, but that could also be the cause of your back fat. You should fix this by stretching and doing muscle training to increase your metabolism, which burns fat. Also, Romelle, you kind of have bad posture. It kind of looks like what people could commonly call “hunchback”. The weakened back muscles cause the front muscles to be drawn tight. Hunching can cause problems like stiff shoulders, and constant slouching also puts pressure on the organs which can contribute to other issues. Let’s immediately fix your posture as much as possible.”

“Do skeletons even have organs?” Asked Hunk.

Romelle giggled and grinned. “Nope.”

“Let’s just try and improve your posture…” Muttered Lance. He and Hunk cleared the living room out and got ready to do some stretches. “Okay, so we’re going to do stretches. Jumping straight into muscle training with a hunchback can just make things worse. So to start, we will loosen up your muscles and give you a sense of correct posture.”

Lance quickly demonstrated a few simple yoga poses. He showed them how to do the cat stretch and cobra pose. When they were done, everyone seemed happy. This gave Lance an idea about something to do with them in a few weeks. 

“That was fun.” Said Romelle. “I’m surprisingly sweaty already.” Lance was going to question how a skeleton was able to sweat, but decided better of it.

Hunk nodded in agreement. “Yeah, same.”

There was a spark of excitement in Romelle’s eyes. “You got me all fired up now! What do we do next? Teach me something else! Please!”

“Oh, okay?” Lance wasn’t used to a client being so enthusiastic about exercise before, but it was nice for once. 

***

Over the next few days Lance, with the help of Hunk, Keith, and Pidge, helped Romelle with stretching and muscle training. Romelle had a lot of fun running with Pidge, going to the gym with Hunk, and trying to help Keith hide his fries from Lance.

After a few weeks of hard work and dedication, Romelle saw results. “What do you guys think?” She asked. “My back has totally slimmed down hasn’t it?” 

“Good job Romelle.” Said Pidge.

“You worked really hard.” Said Hunk.

“Impressive.” Said Keith.

Lance nodded. “Just goes to show what a bit of hard work and dedication will do. Now I guess you’re going to go out and finally enjoy this world, huh?”

“...” Romelle frowned a little. “Well, that’s what I thought I would do but…”

“But?”

“I wish I could enjoy this world but I can’t.” She said quietly. The magic that made up Romelle’s skin started to shimmer and glow. “Thinking back on it… Back when I first became a skeleton I spent a long time dejected and alone… During that period of solitude I thought back on a lot of things… On the verge of death, I thought about pain… terror… sadness… anger… hatred… And on the day I woke up I was full of despair. Why do I suffer from these feelings of grief alone…?”

“Why is she glowing?” Whispered Lance. “Is she going to explode?”

“Shut up Lance.” Hissed Pidge.

“But when I spent time with you guys, I forgot all about that gloomy stuff. I really enjoyed dieting with you all so much.” Romelle’s skeleton fell out of her body, leaving Romelle’s spirit form. She seemed to have glowing fairy wings behind her body. Was she about to pass over? “Thank you so much… and… Goodbye…” Romelle vanished leaving behind a pile of bones.

Everyone was shocked and saddened. “So she was a fairy…” Said Keith quietly. “Us elves are very close to their race… At the very least we should bury her. Somewhere with water and lots of trees… Somewhere in the park…”

Hunk was crying heavily. “R-Romelle’s gone!” Pidge hugged him and patted his back.

Lance kneeled down next to Romelle’s bones and gently held her skull. “... Dieting is just a process… The important thing is what comes afterwards. The real fun comes after you reach your goal… We wanted more for you Romelle… We wanted you to really enjoy this world…”

“Really? Is that true? I'm looking forward to it!” Said Romelle’s skull.

Lance shrieked and almost dropped her while Hunk was just relieved that Romelle was still there. “What the hell?! How are you still alive? I thought you passed on?”

“Well, what you just said really filled me with regret so I was reanimated.” She explained. “Damn, I lose a little weight and now I’m a bunch of bones again.” And so yet another person from the other world had been added to Lance’s list of clientele.


	109. Trouble (HolyHell AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is still a very, very good boy... Keith is regretting hooking up with Regris, just because hit butt hurts. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

During the week Lance was doing his best to move the pews out of the way to grab some folding chairs. The A.A meeting happened every Tuesday night and Lance was more than happy to oblige. The person running the meeting would come in around six and always tell Lance he should let him help move everything. Lance would just shrug him off and tell him he was just helping.

Helping was something Lance liked doing. He had always liked helping people. Helping people was just what he did. He heard the church doors open and saw someone wearing a biker’s jacket. He had a diamond patch on it with a 1% on it, so Lance assumed that they belonged to that biker gang. They were pretty muscular, had short black hair with a shock of white in the front, and he had a scar across his nose.

Lance was a little worried, but he still put on a smile. “Good afternoon. Do you need some help?”

The man shook his head and just looked around the building. “Nah, not really. Just always had an interest in religious buildings. Just seeing how this one looked on the inside.”

Lance nodded. “Ah, I see. If you are interested in the history I can look at some documents in the back for you?”

“Oh, that would be nice. Thank you… I’m Shiro by the way.”

“Lance.” He said. “Please follow me.” He took Shiro to the little office and started to look through the files. “So, would you mind if I ask you what your group is doing in our small town? We honestly don’t get many biker gangs coming through here. Sometimes a few weekend warriors, but that’s about it.”

Shiro chuckled. “If you’re worried we’re going to do some underhanded deals while we’re here don’t worry. We aren’t here to do any deals… Well... Ulaz might have a few bags of weed and cocaine left over from the last town… Doubt he’ll sell anything here though. So don’t worry about people suddenly becoming stoners or drug addicts.”

“... Right.” Lance continued to look through the files. He found some old newspaper articles that were placed in a scrapbook from when the church was first built. “So you’re just passing through?”

“Yeah, just passing through…” Said Shiro. “A few years ago Keith was passing through here. You’ve met him a couple of times.”

Lance nodded. “Yes. Keith is a very… Interesting individual. So he came through here before? Probably when the previous Pastor was in charge.”

“That he is.” Chuckled Shiro. “Yeah, Keith was… When he was here he happened to leave something here and he wants it back.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He’s been vague about it, but it’s clearly something important to him. It’s something he has to collect.”

Lance nodded and showed Shiro the scrapbook. “Huh, interesting… How long ago was this? The town has changed a lot in the past three years. Lots of farmland has become houses. If Keith buried something on a farm it could be under a house now. I used to come here over the Summer. My abuela used to live here. She passed away a few years ago.”

“Ah, my condolences for your loss.” Said Shiro. “So you aren’t a stranger to this town?” He looked through the scrapbook and read some of the articles. He seemed content to just read it.

“Nope. Not a stranger at all.” Lance sat at his desk and watched Shiro for a bit. “... So should I expect anymore of the people from your gang to turn up at the church? I don’t mean to offend, but you guys are kind of scary looking…”

Shiro laughed at that. “Yeah, we are pretty scary looking. Doubt anyone will drop by, besides maybe Keith. We don’t generally hang around churches… Unless someone owes us money.”

“Noted. I’ll try not to owe you guys anything.”

“Smart man.” He handed the scrapbook back to Lance. Lance went to take the book back, and Shiro’s fingers brushed against Lance’s hand. “Oh, interesting scar.”

Lance looked down at his hand. Across the base of his ring fingers was a crooked scar. It had been there for so long Lance didn’t even notice it anymore unless someone pointed it out. He couldn’t remember how he got it, but he had been told that it was because of an accident when he was playing when he was a kid.

“Yeah, of all the places to get a scar I get one that looks like a wedding band.” Said Lance. “I like to think it means I was distended to get married to the church. The Lord knew my destiny and quickly locked it down. Had it pretty much my whole life.”

“Wow, controlling much?”

Lance shrugged. “It is what it is. I try not to question the lord.”

“That’s dumb.” Said Shiro. “No power is too great and perfect not to question.”

“The Lord doesn’t make mistakes.”

“I see you claim and raise you one flood.”

“... Um.”

The older man smiled kindly at him. “Look, I’m not trying to start anything with you. I honestly just find churches and stuff interesting… Do you think that maybe you could help Keith find what he’s looking for? Like, if he’s buried it somewhere it would be nice to point him in the right direction.”

“... Well, as long as he doesn’t keep flirting with me.”

That got another laugh out of Shiro. He seemed to be a rather jolly kind of guy. “I’ll try and get him to back off. Keith has a tendency to be a stubborn asshole. When he gets an idea in his head he sticks with it. We’ll probably be gone in less than a month anyway, so you don’t have to worry about him too much anyway.” He paused for a moment. “But if he does do something that really upsets you, tell either me or Kolivan. We’ll set him straight.”

“... Noted. Well if Keith has a vague idea of where he hid something I’ll try and help him find it.”

“Thank you Pastor. I won’t take up any more of your time.” Shiro happily showed himself out.

Lance sighed and put the scrapbook away. These bikers were weird. He really hoped that whatever Keith was looking for wasn’t something illegal, like guns or drugs… or a dead body… If it was a dead body Lance would scream. 

He shook his head and looked down at his hand and at his scar. A small cut that looked a lot like a ring. It hadn’t faded over the years, though he had thought about doing something about it. Hell, he had even considered getting a skin tone tattoo to cover it up at a few points in his life. But he really did like it. It kind of made him feel special, like he was chosen for something.

***

When Shiro got back to the motel someone tossed a beer at him. Shiro caught it with ease, parked his bike, and drank it. That got the gang member that tossed it at him to clap their hands. Shiro just nodded in their direction and headed to find Kolivan. He found their leader in one of their rooms, drinking and watching TV.

Shiro stood by the couch and cleared his throat. “Kolivan?”

He looked up at him and gestured towards the couch. “Sit.” Once Shiro was sitting, Kolivan continued. “So, what did you find out about the church and the Pastor?”

“The church was built around the same time as the town.” He said calmly. “The church grounds are wavering in holy energy. Not that many people have actual faith anymore. The church has the same amount of power as any secular school. It might cause some discomfort, but we can easily walk in there without bursting into flames… The Pastor is nice enough. A little naive, but seems nice enough.” He took another swig of his beer. 

Kolivan sighed and shook his head. “Well it’s nice to know we can bust down the door and burn the place down if we wanted.”

“Yeah… The Pastor has been marked though.”

“Hmm?”

“Keith’s collecting on more than just a little fun with the Pastor.” Said Shiro. “Dumbass somehow got himself a bride.”

Kolivan looked shocked. “Are you serious? Are you sure?”

Shiro nodded. “Yep. Lance has a scar right on his ring finger. Looks like a ring scar if ever I saw one. Explains why Keith’s obsessed with them too.”

Kolivan made an annoyed sound. “Perfect… How long has the Pastor had that scar for?”

“They said they had it their whole life.” Shiro sighed loudly and tilted his head back to look up at the strangely stained ceiling. “... So either Lance’s parents promised one of their children to Keith for whatever reason, or Keith met Lance when they were younger and they somehow made a deal… Keith’s trying to collect his bride.”

“That dense mother fucker…” Muttered Kolivan. “I am going to beat that brat with his own bike. I thought he wanted to collect the Pastor’s soul, not the whole man!” he stood up and gestured for Shiro to follow him. “Come on, we’re going to interrogate him.”

“Is he still here?”

“Ulaz said Regris fucked him pretty hard the other night.” Said Kolivan. “He’s probably still sulking on the couch because his ass hurts.”

“... Yeah, that sounds like him.”

The two of them walked a few rooms down and walked in to see Thace and Ulaz weighing some cocaine and carefully putting weed into small baggies. They gestured over to the couch where a rather grumpy looking Keith curled up on the couch.

He looked over at the two of them and waved slightly. “Hi?”

“Are you trying to collect a bride?” Asked Kolivan bluntly.

Keith looked slightly panicked. “No?”

“Bullshit you little brat.” He grabbed Keith by his arm and pulled him up. “What the actual fuck did you do?” Growled Kolivan. “Why did the Pastor become your bride? When did he become your bride?”

Keith hissed and looked over at Shiro for help, but Shiro knew better than to try and stop Kolivan from doing what he wanted to do. Keith sighed and eventually gave up trying to fight Kolivan. He knew he had to come clean.

“Okay, look, a few years ago I might have met Lance when he was a kid. We talked about stuff and at the time I was interested in finding a bride.” Confessed Keith. “Not my fault the stupid kid said he’d be my bride! At least I was nice and waited until he became an adult to try and collect on that promise…”

“... Keith, you are a moron!” Snapped Kolivan. “A Pastor? A fucking Pastor?”

“He wasn’t a Pastor when we met!” Hissed Keith.

“You’re an idiot!” Snapped Kolivan. “This is why you don’t take a bride in this day and age until they are adults! Even then, never human! You take human souls! Their souls! Not… Them. I swear to Satan I will beat your ass if you don’t collect your bride by the end of the month!”

“This is why I didn’t tell you I was collecting my bride!” Snapped Keith. “You always get so pissed off no matter what! He was my bride months before I joined you guys!”

Kolivan groaned in annoyance. “Fine. Just fix this. Okay?”

“I will…” Muttered Keith.

“Good.” Growled Kolivan. He let Keith go and stormed out of the room.

Shiro let out a low, slow whistle. “Wow… You know this could have been avoided if you told him that you were coming here to collect your bride.”

Keith rolled his eyes and rubbed his arm. “That’s why I didn’t say anything. I knew Kolivan would get mad at me when he knew about this… He isn’t very fond of us getting brides…”

“Only because when you get a bride it usually means kids, and it’s annoying to have them on the road with us… Unless they want to actually have a home somewhere…”

Keith pouted and crossed his arms. “Fuck this.This is bullshit… Shiro! You have a bride! How did you do it?”

Shiro shrugged. “Adam was living a shitty life and I promised him a new life where he would not have to fear or want for anything in his old life. He then kind of just fell into my arms. Also, Adam was an adult. Not a child. What you did was dubious at best.”

Keith puffed out his cheeks and looked away from Shiro. “I was young too. I didn’t know oher demons would look down on me if I got him to promise to be my bride! At least I waited until he was an adult to come after him… And the bastard doesn’t even recognise me! I thought he did the way he flirted with me back at the pub when he showed up, but he just… Things would be so much easier if he was a normal human with a normal job…”

“Hence why you don’t go getting young humans to be your bride you moron.” Said Shiro. “So here is what we’re going to do, I’m going to help you try and to help you get your bride… You’re still an idiot.”

“... Shut up.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and lightly slapped Keith in the back of the head. “Don’t be a little bitch. Put some pants on and follow me. We’re going to the thrift store. Gotta make you look presentable to try and collect your bride… And if all else fails just slip into his room at night and mesmerise him a little.”

“Fuck off.” He grumbled. “I’ll find my pants later. I don’t wanna go clothes shopping!”

“Regris stole his pants!” Called Thace from the bed. “Told him he was being a little bitch and walked out with them.”

“Sounds like Regris…” Grumbled Shiro. “Underwear on and outside in five minutes. If not, I’m dragging you out by your horns.”

“... Fine. Fuck you.” He growled and started to look for his underwear.

Shiro just rolled his eyes and let Keith grumble and act all pissed off. He was a stupid brat of a demon sometimes, but he had good intentions… Maybe… It was debatable…


	110. Saltwall (Witch AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance's old man is very displeased with this turn of events. Someone needs to keep him away from Keith and harpoons. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Saltwall was a quaint little fishing village. There were about twenty houses clustered around with two or three other buildings for public use such as a small church, a town hall, and a pub. It was nice enough in Keith’s eyes, but Lance was practically buzzing with excitement.

“I can’t believe we’re here!” He squealed. “We have to see my papa first! He might be home right now. If not he’ll be out fishing.” He grinned and grabbed Keith’s arm. “Come on. I wanna see him.”

“Hey, you don’t need to pull me along.” Grumbled Keith. He was kind of grouchy today. Mostly because Lance got lazy and Keith had to use a wagon to pull the selkie along. His arms, shoulders and back all hurt. He hated it. Damn lazy selkie. Also, Keith still hated the ocean. Large bodies of water in general were the bane of a fire wicche’s existence.

Lance just grinned at him and happily bounced along the pathway and practically ran down the pathway to a small shack with a net hung up out on the lawn. There was a decorative wooden seal hanging on the door. Keith followed close behind Lance.

Lance quickly knocked on the door and bounced on his heels for a few seconds. The door opened and a slightly disheveled man, that bore a striking resemblance to Lance, opened the door. His hair was long and tied back, his skin was flecked with salt, he had a slight beard, and his skin was riddled with freckles and some deep wrinkles.

The man looked shocked to see his son standing there. “Lance?”

“Papa!” Lance threw himself at the man and hugged him tightly. 

The older man laughed and happily hugged him back.. “Lance, mi hijo! What are you doing here? It isn’t Summer time yet. Did something happen to your pod? Your mama?”

Lance shook his head. “Oh no. Everyone is fine. I just came to see you because I’m a wicche’s familiar now.” He looked over at Keith and grinned. “Papa, this is my Master, Keith, or as his full title is known as…” Lance cleared his throat. “Lesser arcane weapons master, Keith. He’s a fire wicche.”

Lance’s father raised an eyebrow and looked over at Keith with a critical eye. It made Keith shudder a little. It was a cold gaze. Something that if the man was a wicche himself, Keith was sure he would be dead.

He kind of just just awkwardly stepped away from them. “Well… I gotta go give this letter to the leader of the town… I um… I assume he’s in or around the town hall… Um… I’ll be back later…” He quickly turned tail and ran. He felt like he might get hit with a harpoon or some other sea weaponry.

He found the village elder soon enough and gave him the official letter. He seemed annoyed but showed Keith to the armory. The walls were lined with enchanted fishing nets, scaling knives, harpoons, and spears. This was going to take a while.

***

While Keith was busy doing his official duty, Lance was happy to spend time with his papa. The man had some fish stew cooking and offered it to his son. Lance made an extremely happy trill as he ate the soup. It was seasoned with minimal seasoning, just seasalt and a little bit of pepper. It didn’t take away from the fresh taste of fish and octopus.

“This is so yummy!” He exclaimed. “You always make the best soup papa.”

The older man smiled and ate his own soup. “You all love my soup. Your mama loves it to this day… So tell me, what is this nonsense about that wet candle being your master? I thought you could resist the pull of being summoned?”

Lance shrugged. “I could and I almost did… But the manna that came from him just reached out and felt so warm and comforting… Papa, you know I love the ocean, and I love the land too. It’s practically impossible for me to leave the ocean and walk further than the beach… The island our pod stays on during breeding season only has a little grass, but it’s mostly a sandbank really…”

His papa sighed and shook his head. “Lance… I know you’re kind of… Impulsive, but humans aren’t as nice to selkies as I am. The stories your pod tells of humans stealing and burning seal skins to keep selkies in their human forms… Most of them are unfortunately true. Lots of humans will try and take your skin and hurt you.”

Lance wrinkled his nose. “Keith isn’t like that.”

“How long have you known him?”

“A few weeks.” Said Lance. He smiled and started to gush about his life with Keith. “He’s so cool! He puts magic in weapons. He buys me fish whenever there is some in the market. Salt is really expensive but we have a jar of salt that Keith lets me use to put in my water bucket when I want to wash myself with salt water. Oh, when we don’t have fish he feeds me chicken. It tastes really nice. Keith’s been talking about making a chicken coup so we can have eggs and fresh chicken every now and then. It’s so good!”

His father seemed a little taken aback by how happy Lance was and how quickly he was talking. He should have expected it. Lance was the most talkative of all his children. There was more than one occasion where Lance’s brother’s and sisters would shove Lance’s face into the sand or put a bucket on his head to try and stop him talking. Try being the important word. They never succeeded. 

Lance had always been too kind. Too curious. Too trusting. Now he had gone and done something that was potentially dangerous to himself. He didn’t know Keith. He couldn’t trust him to look after his son the way he needed to be. He was a selkie for crying out loud. Selkies needed certain things to stay happy and healthy.

Then there were the things that Keith could do to hurt Lance. He was a fire wicche and some kind of weapon’s master. Keith could seriously hurt his son, and it wasn’t like Lance could run back into the ocean to escape. Lance was calling Keith his Master. That had to have meant that Lance was Keith’s familiar, right? Lance was bound to Keith now. If Keith got angry at Lance or, heaven forbid, obsessed with the selkie he could burn his seal skin and Lance would never be able to return to the ocean. He’d be stuck on land forever.

That thought made him shudder. He’d heard of poor selkie women becoming severely depressed and throwing themselves back into the ocean after their lovers decided they wouldn’t let them return home. He didn’t want Lance to suffer that crippling illness. Lance was pretty strong when it came to magical ocean creatures, if he had to he could probably break whatever bond Keith had with him and return to the ocean.

“Are you still able to swim?”

“Keith’s home is right next to a river.” Said Lance. “It’s really nice. Though it is fresh water. Not a huge fan of it, but he liked it. It’s refreshing, but nothing beats salt water. I miss eating squid… Oh, I don’t know if Keith has eaten squid before. Have you got anymore? I want to see what his reaction is.”

“Yeah, I still have some octopus ready for him.” He muttered. He still worried so much about Lance. Selkies, like most magical sea creatures, had many secrets. Secrets both wondrous and dangerous. Even he didn’t know many of them and was only privy to the few secrets that his wife, Lance’s mother, was willing to share with him.

One of the selkies most interesting secrets was that they cried pearls. It was strange. He hadn’t fully understood it, but thought it was beautiful. She had gifted him dozens of different coloured pearls when they came to visit and they came in a range of colours. Most of the pearls she had given him were pink or blue. She had told him that pink and blue meant happiness and love. But if a selkie ever cried black pearls that would mean absolute despair and said selkie would be dead soon. 

When his children were sea pups they mostly cried white pearls with hints of lavender here and there. His wife, bless her soul, just booped her pups on the nose and rolled them around on the sand. If that didn’t work she would give them food. Pups at that age only wanted to play or to get fed. There was no inbetween.

He worried that Keith might find out about Lance’s tears and hurt him for them. He didn’t know what kind of wicche he was. But if he worked with weapons… Keith might exploit Lance. Make him all happy to be around him, and then he’d start hurting him to get his pearls.

Lance grinned. “Can I help you cook something?”

“Hmm, you can, but I thought you might like swimming down around in the ocean first?”

Lance’s eyes lit up. “Yeah! Can I?”

“Of course. Just be a little careful.” He warned. “Some netting got their netting tangled up on some rocks. Most of it is gone, but just stay away from that area.”

“Will do.” Lance happily walked out the backdoor and walked over the small sand hill and he was back at the ocean. That beautiful blue water was calling for him. He ran down to the water as fast as he could and he pulled his seal skin over his body, and dived into the water. In retrospect he was a little over excited and kind of body slammed into relatively shallow waters. “Aaaaargh…” He quickly looked around to make sure no one saw him make a fool of himself, and then he shuffled into the water.

Like a loving embrace the water wrapped around Lance and welcomed him back. Lance happily swam around the pier and docks. He found a few familiar fish and quickly swam after them to try and eat them. He was happy. He was home. He surfaced and happily bobbed along the water and looked at all the new and old boats listlessly floating on the water.

He saw some people in a basic paddle boat and couldn’t help but swim under the boat and gave it a quick bump. The fishermen in the boat were a little surprised, but happy to see Lance in all his seal glory. They tossed him a fish head, which Lance happily ate. Lance was so happy to have fresh fish he spun around a few times and made very happy sounds. Fresh fish was the best.

As far as Lance knew, everyone kind of suspected that his papa was sleeping with his mama and had selkie offspring, but no one really brought it up. As far as Lance knew, his papa was pretty well respected in town and was one of the few people that happily saved any octopus that made their way into crab pots and would cook them up right then and there. It was always appreciated by the men trying to catch crabs.

Lance liked crab claws. Those were good. Maybe he could get his papa to buy a few crab legs and claws? Those would be nice. Keith would love them too. They were so yummy… Boiling them was fine too. Seemed to be more of a human thing to cook their food first. So weird. Raw was the superior way to eat everything.

After swimming around for a while and climbed onto a small flat rock that some fishermen liked to sit on to fish and lounged around in the sun. When he was a pup, he and his siblings would always fight over who got to lay on the rock. Marco and Luis usually won since they could throw their weight around a lot easier than his sisters could or Lance. Mostly because female leopard seals were smaller than males, and Lance was the youngest. The only one the boys would get off the rock for was their mama. She would always bellow at them to get off the rock and go back to the shore.

Lance was pleased that he got to sleep on the rock himself. It was nice and peaceful. Maybe he could show Keith the sunning rock too? It would be a while before his pod swam through this area. Keith liked laying in the sun so he’d probably like this too. Lance made many happy sounds as he thought about that. Keith would love it for sure.

***

When Keith was finished in the armory he thanked the village elder and headed back to Lance’s dad’s house. He awkwardly knocked on the door and it swung open. “... Hello?” He called as he looked in. He saw Lance’s dad chopping some tentacled animal into pieces on a chopping board. He didn’t even bother glancing up at him.

“So you’re back, wicche.” He muttered in a gruff voice.

Keith nodded and very cautiously stayed a few feet away from the man with a knife. “Yes… It’s um… Your village is nice.”

“Saltwall is what it is.” He said as he brought the knife down on the weird fish thing again. “It’s a fishing village. Not some crazy huge village, but it is what it is.”

“... It’s nice.” Keith said quietly. The tension quickly started to build as they quietly stood there, listening to the sound of the chopping board.

Finally the older man put the knife down and sighed heavily. “Why did you have to choose Lance?”

Keith was a little taken aback by that statement. A lot of common people thought that wicche’s could control magic 100% of the time, but in all honesty, if there was one animal that shouldn’t be allowed to use magic it would be humans. Humans were practically just throwing paint at the wall and sometimes they make a work of art.

“Sir, I… I didn’t ask for Lance to be my familiar.” Keith said calmly. “I just sent my manna out and I… Selkies have water based manna. It’s opposite to mine. I have fire based manna and I kind of expected getting an answer from a creature with matching fire manna, or maybe earth manna? I didn’t expect to get a familiar like Lance, but no creature is really forced to do it, let alone a magic creature like Lance. He chose to-”

“Bullshit!” Snapped the man. He slammed his knife into the cutting board with such force it stayed stuck in there. He glared at Keith with venom. “Lance loves the ocean. Selkies love the ocean. He’ll slowly start to wither away and end up killing himself. Selkies can’t leave the ocean for so long.”

“Lance has been-”

“He’s not going to tell you if something is wrong until it’s too late.” Said the older man. He groaned in annoyance and scratched his chin. “He’ll tell you he’s feeling one thing, when he really feels another… I swear if you end up hurting him, I will end you.”

Keith wasn’t one to take threats lightly. He put his hands up and tried to appear non threatening. “I don’t plan on hurting Lance. I’m trying really hard to figure out how to keep him happy and functional…”

The older man glared at him. He didn’t seem to believe him. He took the knife out of the chopping block and pointed it at him. “If Lance ever comes to me and tells me you’ve been hurting him I will gut you like a fish.”

“U-understood…”

He narrowed his eyes at Keith. He was still pissed off at him, clearly. Keith had no idea what he was meant to do to reassure him that he wasn’t going to hurt Lance. This wasn’t something he was used to. Parental wrath was new to him. Keith was an orphan. He didn’t really understand the bond between parent and child, but he knew that the man really cared about Lance.

Suddenly there was a loud thump on the backdoor along with a disgruntled seal noise. The older man shot Keith one more dirty look before he went and opened the door. Lance was there, in his seal form, with an octopus attached to his face.

“... Why are you like this?” Asked the old man.

“Braaaaaaaaagh!” Bellowed Lance.

His papa rolled his eyes and quickly went to work removing it from his face. “Did you have a good swim?” He asked. “Salt water feels good against your skin, huh?”

“Gggrah!” Huffed Lance as he nodded his head. He snorted some salt water out of his nose.

His papa chuckled and continued to free Lance. “Alright. Okay, now you’re free. Were you bringing this back for us or did you get attacked?”

“Arrrgah! Rrrrah!” Whined Lance. “Aaaaaaaaaagrah!” He then grabbed the octopus off the floor and quickly ate it. He seemed pleased with himself.

“Ah, you got attacked.” Muttered his papa. “Stop sticking your nose into random places. You are just asking for trouble. You got attacked by an eel before. Mr nosey.”

Lance looked shocked before he made a dismissive noise and looked away. “Brargh…”

“Yes. very nosey.” Said his papa. The man kneeled down next to his son and happily petted him and scratched him around his jawline and chin. Lance quickly lost whatever kind of anger he had towards his papa and happily tapped and slapped his flippers against the ground. 

Keith was kind of jealous at the bond Lance had with his papa. He hadn’t really had that growing up. He just stood back and watched them for a bit as they showered each other with familial affection. Suddenly Lance’s eyes lit and happily waddled over to him.

“Aaaaaaagh!” He bellowed.

Keith raised an eyebrow and put his hand on Lance’s head. “You’re really loud. You know that right?” 

Lance looked proud of himself and pulled his seal skin off. He grinned up at him. “Yep. I know I’m really loud. One of the loudest. Have you had any of papa’s seafood soup yet? It’s so good.” He pulled Keith over to the stove, kind of ignoring his papa and happily gave him a bowl of seafood soup. He grinned and watched as Keith tried it.

“... It’s very salty.” Said Keith honestly. “The fish, I assume it’s fish?”

“The flakey stuff?” Asked Lance. “Yeah. That’s fish.”

Keith nodded and ate some more. “The rubbery thing is kind of nice too.”

“That’s octopus.” Said Lance. “It’s really, really yummy. It tastes a lot better raw. You humans are so weird with your cooking stuff. It’s weird. Also those are oysters… and those are crab legs.”

“Huh, interesting… It’s very nice. This is the kind of stuff you like eating, right?”

Lance nodded enthusiastically. “Yep. Papa’s soup is the best. Tastes amazing. Do you think you could try making it at home?”

“Well… We don’t really have fresh seafood where we are…” Said Keith quietly. “But I’ll try my best. You still like chicken, right?”

Lance nodded. “Chicken is yummy too.” He looked over at his dad. “Papa? Why Keith is doing his wicche thing, can we stay here? Please?”

The older man didn’t seem very happy for Keith to be there, but he seemed to do it for his son. “Okay. Fine… But the wicche is sleeping on the floor. I only have one bed and I have a bad hip.”

“That’s fine.” Lance smiled and happily tugged on Keith’s arm, despite him still trying to eat his soup. “Come on. I’ll show you where we’re going to sleep. You’re going to like it. It’s very comfy.” Keith highly doubted it, but if it meant moving away from Lance’s old man for a bit he was all for it.


	111. Maternal instincts (Monster AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who Keith runs into next and has a very, very awkward time with? Yeah... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Krolia had been over the files dozens of times before. She had been approached with the job title of “incubator” along with three other women in her division. Apparently she was both mentally and physically healthy enough to undergo the job if she so wished. 

One woman immediately backed out when she found out that here was a high chance that she would need a hysterectomy after giving birth. One woman was on the fence and after the second round of interviews she was deemed not fit to be a candidate. Krolia and the last woman went through several more interviews and were given access to the files concerning the first ten test subjects.

It was confronting. The first subject, AP was born on a petri dish. It was an amazing feat with an even more stunning growth rate. After the first few hours it was the size of a thumb nail and then it died. AP was the first attempt at hybridization and quickly influenced the rush to create BP, CP, and DP. BP and DP died in the womb. The unfortunate person carrying CP had to have a cesarean because the foetus had calcified. 

EP, FP, and GP were born with varying lengths of life. EP was alive for less than an hour after birth. FP for a month. GP for a week. Just because they were born didn’t mean that they were born healthy. All three children were riddled with deformities. It was too soon to tell if they were mental deformities, but it was obvious they were physical. They looked like the poor babies deformed by thalidomide.

HP-1 and IP-1 were fraternal twins. The first to physically show that they had a monster form. It was exciting for everyone, but the twins passed away soon after they showed their monster form at six years old.

The longest surviving experiment so far was JP-1. They were slightly premature due to complications with the mother. But JP-1 thrived and lived well into their teen years. Like the twins, JP-1 was able to morph into their monster form at the age of six. However their health rapidly declined and they died at sixteen.

Krolia, already being a member of Project Pupa, knew most of these things already. She assumed that this experiment would be called KP-1. She hummed a little and the thought of what it could be named. Maybe Keith if it was boy or Kira if it was a girl? Those were silly thoughts really. No one would call them that. She even expressed as such during her final interview before going in for IVF.

Once she had been successfully impregnated she was taken to an observation room that was repurposed to look more like a hospital room. It was kind of odd, but it did give her some comfort. She settled into the bed, noting the restraints hanging off the sides. It was a little unsettling, but it was necessary. The later stages of pregnancy could be… Disturbing.

A Pupa only needed to incubate for about six months before they were born, much faster than a human child. She didn’t mind. The sooner this was over with the better. This wasn’t her baby. Not really. It was just a means to an end. She just had to endure it.

The first month went along like a normal pregnancy for the most part; fatigue, swollen breasts, weight gain, headaches… all that good stuff. Doctors came in every day to check and make sure she and the foetus were alright. The only thing a little off putting was how quickly she swelled up and the sudden pork cravings she was getting. Luckily the doctors were more than happy to give her bacon and pork chops when asked for them.

By the end of the second month the doctors were able to get a proper ultrasound of the foetus and were excited to find out that K-P1 was going to be a boy. It was an exciting time for the doctors, but less exciting for Krolia. She didn’t really want to know the gender of her baby. She wanted as much distance between herself and the baby as possible.

The third month was when things started to go downhill for her. She started to get all kinds of horrible joint pains and terrible nightmares. Nightmares of something squirming and slithering around in her stomach. She would wake up in a cold sweat as she thought about the monster inside her stomach. In the middle of the night she could hear small whispers and couldn’t tell where they were coming from.

That was until she realized that she was hearing voices from the unborn creature growing in her womb. It wasn’t any concern of the doctors. This was apparently normal, but it would become more and more intense over the next few weeks. They were told it was important that if she started hearing louder and more destructive voices telling her to cause harm to herself or the foetus that she was to tell someone immediately.

By the fourth month she started clawing at her arms and was starting to regret everything. She shouldn’t have done this. She didn’t want to give birth to this thing. She wanted it out of her right now. She wanted to pull it out and throw it against the wall. She wanted it gone.

The doctors started using restraints during the fifth month and a nurse stayed with her in her room for the whole time. It was for the best. Krolia started to experience audio and visual hallucinations that were equivalent to a bad acid trip. She thrashed around a lot and screamed about the monster growing inside her stomach. She was vomiting quite violently in the morning and it looked like mud to her.

When the sixth month came along her whole body felt like it was on fire. She was crying every day and had to have an IV drip put in to keep her fluids up. When her water broke it looked like a mix of amniotic fluid and decaying period blood. Moments later she was getting prepped for a C-section.

It was a painful experience. They couldn’t give her painkillers at this point. The thing inside her was too good at filtering anything it deemed unnatural. Painkillers instantly filtered out of her body the moment they got put into her body. She was crying and screaming for them to get it out of her already.

As soon as she heard a weak cry she knew it was all over. It was out of her. Krolia panted heavily as she saw the doctors lifting the baby out of her. It was all slimy and gross. For a moment she felt a shred of maternal instinct and wanted to hold her baby, but then she saw its mouth. The baby's mouth was already filled with teeth. Not even human teeth. It had fangs and claws. That thing even opened its big, yellow eyes and looked at her. It reached for her. It was mocking her. 

All maternal instincts were extinguished. She was utterly repulsed and disgusted by that thing. It wasn’t a baby. It wasn’t her baby. She was in shock and probably yelled something at them about getting that thing away from her. She probably yelled at them to kill that thing too. They just took it away and stitched her back up.

***

Krolia shivered a little as she remembered that day. She hadn’t seen it again. They said that it wouldn’t be able to escape again. That he would stay locked up. She didn’t want anything to do with him, but yet here she was, out there in the middle of the forest with a loaded gun tucked into her pants.

She had gotten up at the crack of dawn and went looking for him. She knew he was around there. They were out there somewhere. She was going to kill him. It shouldn’t even still be alive. It had been alive for twenty years. Five years longer than the last one. 

It was about midmorning when Krolia had made her way to the lake. In the middle of the lake was an island that was owned by them. The facility on that island had been closed down years before she had been brought onto the project. She was pretty sure no one worked on the island anymore, but she wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few people still there.

As she walked around the lake she noticed a young man walking along the edge of the lake. He seemed surprised to see her and kind of awkwardly nodded at her. Krolia nodded back at him. 

“Morning.” She said. “Nice weather we’re having?”

The man nodded. “Yeah.”

She didn’t know why but there was something a little off about him. He just looked a little out of place.“... I’m sorry to bother you but I’m a little lost, can you help me get back to town?”

The man shrugged and pointed off in a direction. “The town is that way. There is a trail that a lot of people walk on. It should take you back to town.”

“Thanks… What are you doing out here anyway?”

“Just going for a walk.” Said the man. He seemed disinterested in what was going on around him, but at the same time he seemed a little on edge and uneasy. Maybe Krolia was just being paranoid? There was something wrong with him. She could just feel it in her bones. “Do you need someone to show you the way back?”

“Are you heading that way?” Asked Krolia.

“Not really, but I don’t mind helping people out. It might be nice for once.”

The two of them walked back around the lake closer to the town. Krolia couldn’t explain it, but the man seemed to give off a strange, creepy aura that she didn’t like. She felt like a rabbit walking alongside a wolf. A wolf ready to pounce on her and eat her at any second.

“So… What’s your name?” She asked. Her hands were itching to grab hold of her gun, just to feel a little safer. She knew she was just paranoid. She didn’t want to be this paranoid. Maybe she needed a drink? She should have bought a bottle of whiskey before she headed out. Krolia really needed to consider going to an A.A meeting when she went back to the city.

“Keith.” Said the man. “My name is Keith.”

“... Huh.” Wonderful. The weird man had the same name as the name she jokingly said she would name her child.

“Yeah… What’s your name?” Asked Keith.

“... Krolia.” She muttered. She took a few more steps before she realised that he wasn’t moving. She paused and looked over at him.

Keith smiled. “It’s nice to finally know what your name is… Mama.” Krolia froze. Keith was the thing that had grown inside her for six months. She had to admit he looked a lot more human than she expected. She slowly reached for her gun. “Is mama what I would be calling you?” Asked Keith. “Lance says mama. In my book it said mummy. I don’t really know what to call you.”

“How do you know I’m your mother?”

“Your smell.” Said Keith calmly. “You smell kind of like me but different. As soon as I got close to you I could smell you were different. Every human I have come across smells like food. You smell human, but not like food. It’s odd to me… But it’s a comforting scent. I haven’t smelled something like that for a long time. Maybe for a few minutes after I was born…? Are you like me? Are we monsters?”

He took a few steps towards her, but Krolia took care of that and quickly took her gun out, pointing that directly at him. “The only Monster here is you.”

Keith looked at the gun and then back up at Krolia. He didn’t look angry, sad, or anything like that. He just seemed resigned and accepting of the fact that Krolia wanted to kill him. “Okay.”

“What?”

“If you’re going to kill me then I’m not going to be upset with you.” Said Keith. “You can’t help it. Humans are pretty murderous. It’s human nature to murder everything they see.”

“... Is that what you think of humanity?”

“I have yet to be proven otherwise.” Said Keith quietly. “So, go ahead and kill me. That’s okay with me.”

Krolia suddenly became hesitant. “... You really want me to shoot you? … You’re a monster! You eat people! I know you do… The previous experiments did too.”

“I kill because I’m hungry.” Said Keith calmly. “Why do you kill? Because you hate me? Because you regret my existence? I don’t blame you… I regret being born too. But I’ve kind of just accepted the fact that I don’t get what I want. Ever. The time I have spent outside of that place has been a fluke. I try not to take my life for granted and I want to know how the world works, but I honestly don’t know what the rules are. So if mama’s killing their children is normal, then I can’t complain.” He walked a little closer to her with his eyes on her gun.

She pointed it at his forehead. “Don’t come any closer you bastard.”

“It’s okay.” He said softly. “You can shoot me… You know, it’s nice to finally be this close to you.”

“... Just fucking die already.” She pulled the trigger.

***

Lance got back to Keith’s cabin. He still felt sick, but what Shiro had said to him had really shaken him up. He didn’t know what to do. If he did nothing then Keith would stay and get caught. Probably killed too. If he somehow managed to convince him to leave then Keith would probably end up eating other people. It was scary. Would he have to go with him? He didn’t know if he could go with the monster to stop him from eating everyone else. 

He sighed and sat on the bed. For the first time since he started going to the cabin, Keith wasn’t there. It was weird. He lied down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. Keith seemed to have finally fixed the hole. He drummed his fingers against his stomach as he waited and waited.

That itchy feeling under his skin was creeping back again. He didn’t like it. He cuddled Keith’s pillow and buried his face into it. It smelled like Keith. It was an oddly comforting smell. It wasn’t sweet like the pheromone he made when he was hungry that made his mind go foggy. It was calming and soothing. He closed his eyes and let his body relax.

He closed his eyes and buried his face into the pillow. He could feel that weird itching, crawling feeling under his skin. He wanted Keith to just come back and eat him already. Fuck, that would have been weird to think about two weeks ago. He wanted Keith to eat him to make that weird feeling under his skin go away.

He heard the cabin door open and felt the mattress dip behind him. An arm wrapped around him and he felt someone press their head against his back. Seeing the arm mixed with Keith’s natural scent. He was going to say something when Keith started to talk.

“I met my mama today.” He said quietly. “She called me a monster and tried to kill me… Humans are very… You’re a lot more murderous than I thought you would be. You never mentioned that your mama hurt you so I thought that she might… But then again you’re human so it might be normal? I don’t know.”

Lance didn’t know what to do. Should he try and comfort Keith? But Keith was talking now. Did he think that he was asleep? He didn’t know. How the hell did Keith meet his mum? What the hell was going on? It was so confusing.

“There’s so many things that I don’t know… I don’t know how to ask you for help. You’ve already given me your body, I don’t feel comfortable enough to ask you for anything more… Are human families full of hurt? I… damn it, I don’t even know what is going on with me anymore… I can’t even have a family even if I wanted one… I don’t want a family if I’m meant to hurt them…” He sniffled a little. “I wish I was dead…”

Yeah, Lance couldn’t stay quiet anymore. He squeezed Keith’s hand and turned his head to look at him. Though it was a little hard to do when Keith’s arm was pressed against his side. So all he could really see was some of Keith’s hair. 

“Keith? Are you okay?”

“You’re awake?”

“Yeah… Um, why do you wish you were dead?”

“No one wants me around.” Said Keith quietly. “Every human around me is afraid of me. You’re only here because I make some stupid pheromones that I can’t control that makes you all submissive. You don’t actually want to be around me. My mama tried to kill me.”

“How did she find you?” Asked Lance. “How do you know it was your mama?”

“My mama… She has a very distinct smell.” Said Keith calmly. “I only smelled it when I was really, really little. It smelled really nice and made me feel safe. When I met her she didn’t instantly smell like food and made my mouth water. When I got closer she smelled like her. When I mentioned it she kind of confirmed that she was my mama. She tried to kill me.”

“... Did you kill her?” Asked Lance quietly.

“No.” Said Keith quietly. “I pushed her down a hill and ran away when she shot me.”

“What?! She shot you?!” Lance pushed Keith’s arm away and turned to look at Keith. There was a large gash in the side of his face. It looked like someone had ripped away the skin on the left side of his face. The purple muddy flesh under his skin. The teeth set in his jaw in his monster form were jutting out of his face and looked like someone had smashed jagged glass into his face. Even his left eye looked swelled, bloodshot, and a sickly yellow. “Keith…”

He reached out but Keith quickly moved away. “Wish she could have shot straight. I was right in front of her. She could have just shot me in the head and I’d be… Fuck, I don’t even know. So now I’m like this…”

“... Do you need to eat more of me to get better faster?” Asked Lance. He wasn’t sure how Keith’s body worked, but he wanted to help him.

“I… I don’t know. You haven’t been very well lately. I don’t want to take more from you than I can.” Said Keith quietly. He looked very guilty. He couldn’t even look Lance in the face. 

Lance couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Keith’s whole life had been one disappointment after another. He’d just been used his whole life. Did Keith even know what it felt like to be loved or at least cared for? Fuck it. Despite the fact Keith needed to eat meat and had a craving for humans, he was nice. He shouldn’t have been nice after being abused so much. 

“... Keith. I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

“I ran into Shiro.” Said Lance quietly. “He said that the people that were looking after you before are trying to find you now… You either need to leave the area or let them take you back.”

“Will you come with me?” Asked Keith suddenly. He looked hopeful for a moment before the reality of what he just asked kind of sank in. “N-never mind… I’ll um. I’ll just go.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have asked. Just because I can just leave doesn’t mean you can… I’m going to miss you.” Said Keith quietly.

“You need to eat something before you go, right?” Asked Lance, almost hopefully. “You can still eat me. I-I don’t mind you eating me.”

“I… I wouldn’t mind but you haven’t been feeling well, have you? I don’t want you to feel forced.”

Lance smiled at him and gently cupped his face. “Keith, I don’t mind. You’re not forcing me… It’s nice to be needed for once.”

“Yeah… I’m not going to eat you.” Said Keith quietly. He got up and walked over to the side of the cabin and pulled open a hatch in the floor. “I have food in here.”

Lance should have felt relief, but he felt disappointment instead. “Another deer?”

“No. People.”

“What?”

Keith shrugged. They were dressed like the people that walked around the place with their hands on their guns. I assumed they worked with them so I killed them and I’m eating them.”

“Oh… Okay…”

“Yeah. I’ll finish eating them and leave… I’ll just stay somewhere in the mountains. There aren’t a lot of humans in the mountains, right?”

“No… You should be fine in the mountains but you won’t have a lot of food.”

“It’ll be okay.” Said Keith quietly. “I’ll make do with what I have… I always do.”

“Keith…”

“Thank you for warning me. I really appreciate it.” Said Keith quietly. “I’ll um… I won’t bother you anymore. Thank you for feeding me for so long. You know the way back.”

“... Are you going to go now?”

“After I finish eating… Bye Lance.”

“... Bye Keith.” Lance didn’t want to leave right now. He wanted Keith to eat him. Even if it was just a little bit. He left the cabin and couldn’t help but feel like he had been dumped. Which was dumb. He was being set free, right? Keith was just going to eat the meat that he had caught and then run away… He felt sick. He felt rejected. He felt empty. He felt… rejected.

He sniffled a little as he walked back home. It was stupid. Just stupid. Lance should be happy that this was over for him, but he wasn’t. He didn’t understand. He wanted Keith to want and need him, but he had other bodies to eat other than him. Didn’t Keith say that he tasted the best? He was eating other people. He hated it. He really hated it. Lance hated how much it felt like he was jealous and how much it felt like Keith was cheating on him.

He stopped for a moment to rub his eyes. “Stop it.” He muttered to himself. “This means nothing… This was just a thing that happened. You were just convenient for him. That’s all… Fuck.” 

He heard a branch snap and Lance quickly looked around. He was half hoping that Keith had come after him, but there was nothing. It was just forest noises. He went to keep walking when he noticed a few bright red dots on his shirt. It wasn’t blood. They were laser dots.

“... Shit!” Cursed Lance seconds before he got shot with a tranquilizer dart. It was very powerful. Lance blacked out before he hit the ground.

***

Honerva hummed happily as she called up Dr Benita Martinez to update her on the news. She had gotten several excited updates over the past hour. Honestly, she wasn’t expecting them to catch the Generator. She had only offhandedly mentioned it to the main meat head that if they could capture the Generator she would increase their pay by 10%.

“Dr Martinez.” She said. “Exciting news.”

_“Unless this is really groundbreaking than I have other things to tend to. I still have a week before I have to come back.”_

“We managed to catch a Generator.”

_“You did what?”_

“What’s wrong? I thought you would have been happy to have it?” Asked Honerva. She couldn’t help herself from grinning. This was exciting research material. “K-P1 has been feeding off them for days. What kind of physical and psychological effects has it had on him? It’s amazing. Perhaps it will start to show separation anxiety like the rats did? Maybe they will start to grow more flesh that we will need to cut off before it becomes some horrible cancerous growth that-”

_“That’s enough… I don’t want to hear any more of that…”_

Honerva sighed. “Look, I understand that you don’t… That you have your own reasons for not wanting this but… Well, you did sign on the dotted line. They wouldn’t have cared if the twins were both girls but-”

_“I know. You don’t need to keep reminding me… I’ve had to live with that guilt for 18 years…”_

“I know… I’m a mother too.” Said Honerva quietly. “Speaking of, the bullshit bureaucracy finally got around to fixing your name tag. It finally came in. I put it on your desk.”

_“Thank you… Please don’t touch Lance until I get there… I’ll be there within the hour.”_

“Of course. See you soon Dr Martinez, or should I say… Dr McClain.”


	112. Mother (Royal AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krolia is here... She is not pleased... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance awkwardly followed Yurak down the stairs and to the sitting room. He wondered if he should have maybe washed off the body paint? He wasn’t sure. They entered the sitting room and Lance saw a woman drinking from a mug in a plush chair.

The woman had short hair and wore good quality hunting leathers. Her facial features were very similar to Yurak’s, so this was definitely his mother. When they entered the room, the woman put down her mug and gave the two a confused look. Not that Lance could blame her. She probably didn’t expect Yurak to be wearing body paint and or an Altean to be there in the Duke’s house.

Thankfully she momentarily ignored him to greet her son. The two of them gripped each other’s forearms and pulled each other into a hug. They very briefly touched their foreheads together before pulling apart.

“Mother.” Said Yurak. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“It’s nice to see you too Yurak.” She said softly. “So, what’s with all of this?” She asked as she gestured to his face and arms.”

Yurak’s fur puffed up in embarrassment. “Um… Altean thing… Speaking of, I would like to introduce you to someone.” He gestured for Lance to come forward. “Mother, this is Lance. He’s an Altean I met at Lotor’s wedding. He’s part of Allura’s entourage, but Allura said he could come here.”

Lance bowed at her. “Pleasure to meet you. Of the few times Yurak has spoken of you, he has spoken quite highly.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, seemingly amused by this. “Oh? Well, it is nice to meet you Lance. I am Krolia the decapitator. You may just call me Krolia.”

Lance nodded and held out his hand to shake hers. “Charmed.”

“Likewise.” She gripped him by his forearm and pulled him close. She leaned in a little close and sniffed him. Lance just froze up. He was hyper aware of the sharpness of her claws digging into his skin. She pulled back and dropped Lance’s arm. She then looked over at Yurak and raised an eyebrow. “You scented him?”

Yurak suddenly appeared nervous. “We um… We’re in the middle of courting each other…” He said quietly. “Body paint is part of Altean courting…”

She seemed shocked. “I’m sorry. I think I misheard you. Did you say you two were courting?”

“It isn’t that weird…” Muttered Yurak.

Krolia looked very conflicted. “Well yes, but no… I mean… While Galra becoming mates with other races isn’t unusual or frowned upon it is… I mean we’ve kind of been at war for a while? Becoming intimate with the enemy so soon…”

“Lotor married Allura.” Pointed out Yurak.

“Because that was set as soon as the genders of both royal babies was found out.” Said Krolia. “That and it was the quickest way to end the war… But I digress. This is-”

“Are you disapproving of our courtship?” Asked Yurak.

Lance slowly backed out of the room. He really didn’t know how to deal with this or what to do, so he just left. “Well, you two seem to need to do some catching up.” He said. “I um… I’m going to go down to the kitchen and um… Maybe see if they, um, can… bring us more drinks? Yeah. That… Be back in a tick.” He quickly got out of there and headed in the vague direction of the kitchen. He didn’t need to deal with this Galra drama.

***

When Lance was gone, Yurak couldn’t help but bare his fangs at his mother. “Why did you have to say that? He’s going to think you hate him now! You don’t even know him!”

Krolia huffed and crossed her arms. “I wasn’t trying to be dismissive of Alteans. I was simply saying that it’s a little awkward for someone to be involved with an Altean so soon after the war. That is all. The marriage between the Prince and Princess was more of a political move. You know that. You even said that to Lotor. You told him that if he was having second thoughts about it you’d hijack a ship and take him somewhere else.”

“... Yes.” Said Yurak. “But in my defence I didn’t know that Lotor and Allura had a history together before the war. I didn’t really grow up around Lotor did I? It was just me and my father out in our small hunting shack…”

His mother sighed, clearly not wanting to have this conversation right now. “Yurak. I am not dismissing your courtship. You may court whoever you please. I will not discourage that. I’m more worried about the cultural differences and unease that will come with courting an Altean… Do you like him?”

“Yes. I like him a lot.” Said Yurak. “Courting has gone well I think…” He said quietly. “Their way of courting is very… Physical and seems a little superficial? They are like zubzub and flitter around randomly gravitating towards shiny things.”

Krolia shrugged. “They do seem a little… Yes, superficial is probably the right word.”

“Yeah, anyway, why are you here?” He asked.

“I came to catch up with you after the wedding.” She said calmly. “I didn’t expect you to bring home your own bride.”

Yurak’s fur puffed up even more. Most of his fur was stuck down due to the paint, so it probably looked ridiculous. “I didn’t bring home a bride! We are in the middle of courting! Body painting and physical touching is a big part of Altean courtship! Especially right at the start!”

“Right at the start?” Krolia went from amused to alarmed. “Yurak… How many partners has this Altean bedded?”

Yurak wanted to pull his hair out. “It doesn’t matter! Probably a few! Alteans seem like the kind of people that jump into each other's beds early on in a courtship. It might even be part of their courtship.” 

Saying that out loud, Yurak found that it made him feel uneasy. Logically, sex was a natural part of life nothing to be ashamed of. However, culturally, having multiple sexual partners was frowned upon. For a Galra, during orgasm a lot of hormones are released in the brain to help bond them with their partners and help them fall in love. Of course they didn’t necessarily mate for life, and Galra can and usually do have several partners… But having more than three sexual partners (depending on how old the Galra is) was very alarming and most would assume there was something disturbingly wrong with.

“... Look. Alteans are a different species.” He said calmly, trying to reassure herself and himself. “Even if it is part of it I… I really like Lance quite a lot, and I think he likes me… We’re doing courting stuff together...”

Krolia put her hand on Yurak’s shoulder and gave him a stern look. “Yurak. Do not do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Putting yourself into situations that cause you anxiety and stress just because it’s something they want you to do is not right. If Lance attempts to force himself upon you, kill him.”

“That seems a little extreme…”

“The law states if a sober Galra forces themselves in a way that violates your bodily autonomy you can take their lives. If they are drunk you might get in trouble if you kill him…” She thought for a moment. “Just knock him out and tie him up. Okay?”

“... Yes mother.” He muttered. Yurak didn’t think that Lance would try and force himself on him. Though the body painting thing made him really, really uncomfortable. The last time someone had touched him like that was when he saw a chiropractor from falling out of a tree while hunting. It was uncomfortable for him too. He’d need to talk to Lance about courting practices so there wasn’t anymore major culture shock.

Krolia looked over at the door. “... Well, I’m going to go and find Lance to have a talk with him.”

“What?! No!” Before Yurak could stop her, his mother was out the door and off to find Lance. Yurak sighed in annoyance. “Damn it… Good luck Lance… You’re going to need it…”

***

Krolia quickly found Lance standing by the door that leads outside via the kitchens. “Hello Lance.”

Lance yelped in shock and almost dropped his datapad. “Oh hey! Hi. Nice to see you again Krolia. Are you… Do you want me to come back inside?”

“No. Follow me.” She gestured for Lance to follow her and smiled slightly when the Altean shuffled behind her. They walked into the garden, and when they were far enough away from the house and other people, she started talking. “So Lance…”

“Yes?”

“You were old enough to fight in the war against us. Correct?”

Lance nodded. “Technically yes, but I didn’t.”

This… Krolia did not like this. “Why? A medical problem? Are you a medic on your planet and your skills were needed at home?” She asked. “Were you able to pay your way out of it?”

Lance quickly shook his head. “Oh no. Nothing like that. I um, you see I am the court jester. I asked King Alfor himself if I should pick up a sword and he told me to stay in court.”

Krolia stopped walking and stared at Lance in disbelief. “A jester?”

Lance nodded. “Y-yeah. I also go by royal fool, royal jester, court fool, fool, and that weirdo that just threw himself out of the tower when Lord Biroz started talking about his land taxes for the millionth time… The last one is kind of long.” He laughed nervously.

He was a fool. The man was a fool. Yurak was in the middle of courting a fool. The Altran’s court jester. This was not the inlaw Krolia thought her son would try courting. Yurak was a Duke for crying out loud. He could easily court someone else from the inner circle of royalty, like a Baron or a Marquess. He could have started courting a warlord, or a soldier. But Lance… He wasn’t even a soldier where he came from. This was… It was extremely disappointing.

“I see…”

Lance’s shoulders slumped and looked up at her sheepishly. “I’m guessing I’m not good inlaw material?”

“Yes… You would be correct.” She said calmly. “Yurak is a Duke and has fought in the war. There are expectations and well… I must confess I am a little old school and do not know much about Altean culter. Maybe being a fool is well respected where you are from? But here it’s not that impressive. Quite low when it comes to possible suitors for a Duke.”

Lance started to look rather annoyed. “Hey, first of all, he started courting me first. I didn’t throw myself at him and tried to bed him the second I saw him.”

Hearing that made Krolia’s hair stand on end. She glared at him and bared her fangs. “Have you bedded my son?”

The Altean went a little pale. “N-no… I-I’m just saying I didn’t seduce him. He chose to pursue me on his own.”

It took a few ticks, but Krolia quickly composed herself. “He has stated as much… What are the sexual habits of Alteans?”

The blue scales on Lance’s cheeks exploded with bright light. “Excuse me?! W-what is-”

“This is very important.” Said Krolia calmly. “Galra are more conservative when it comes to picking our sexual partners. The more partners we have the less desirable they are seen as in the eyes of other Galras.”

“So, slut shaming?” Asked Lance.

Krolia raised an eyebrow in confusion. “We do not have that word here.”

“A slut is someone that sleeps around a lot without getting paid for it.”

“Prostituation without monetary or a goods exchange?”

“Pretty much.”

“Huh… Anyway, in our society someone that has many sexual partners is seen as broken and incapable of being able to form bonds with partners.” She stated. “Medically, this is because glands in the brain that release hormones that helps us bond to our partners is not functioning properly. This gland also releases hormones that help regulate our libido. If it is functioning abnormally then it can lead to… Rather unpleasant crimes.”

Lance frowned a little and gave her a mildly disgusted look. “So… are you saying that Altean’s are sexual deviants?”

“I am trying to tell you that if you have had a lot of sexual partners it won’t be seen as a good thing. It will reflect very poorly on you and Yurak. Especially because of Yurak’s social status. I do not know what Altean’s consider an appropriate or acceptable number of… partners… But the less there are, the better.”

“Sex isn’t that important to Alteans.” Said Lance. “Well, it is but it isn’t. We mostly do it for fun. To have a good time. All that stuff. When we are committed to someone we don’t sleep around anymore.”

“Does this mean you are taking Yurak’s courtship seriously?” Asked Korlia. “Your courting rituals are strange and probably putting Yurak under a lot of stress.”

“I don’t want him to be stressed.” Muttered Lance. “Look, Altean courtship focuses a lot on physical compatibility and what we can learn from each other through physical intimacy… From what I’ve learned about Yurak so far, he’s very stubborn, but kind. He tries really hard for the people he cares about, but he isn’t overly sappy… And he’s willing to do things the Altean way for me… Which is something I find very attractive.”

“And are you willing to do things the Galra way?” Asked Krolia calmly, but sceptically. “Yurak has scented you, and you’ve accepted his scenting, so you must be ready to accept the next part of Galra courting.”

“... Ummm.”

“Or was everything just talk?” She questioned. “Were you only trying to seduce my son so you could sleep with him and diminish his social status among his fellow Galra?”

Lance looked extremely insulted. “What? No. Look, I know you probably don’t like me because I’m Altean and we were fighting in a war not too long ago, and I’m not a soldier or anything… But I like Yurak and I care about him.”

“Oh really? Are you going to prove it?”

“Yes!”

“Good. Grab a weapon. We’re going hunting.”

“... Wait what?”


	113. Moving forward (Android AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's our favourite androids again. Being precious morons. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith had replayed his night with Lance over a hundred times already. He really enjoyed kissing him. Lance enjoyed it too. In fact, they both liked it so much that they took it to Adam’s room and happily made out all night. It was innocent fun and they let their hands roam over each other’s bodies.

He liked how Lance was designed. He was firm and soft in all the right places. Lance was perfect. It felt amazing. Lance was amazing. Everything about him was perfect. He might have to thank Pidge for making Lance so wonderfully. He loved how curious Lance was and how confident he was as his hands explored over his body.

They had both enjoyed themselves and honestly? Keith’s favourite part was when Lance snuggled up next to him after he got tired of kissing him. The two of them held each other and smiled. Lance was beautiful. He was perfect. He could keep seeing this image over and over in his head.

“And you’re done!” Said Matt happily as he sat back from his work.

Keith looked down at his new dick. It really did look like it was always part of his body. Matt had done a good job. He reached down and touched it. It wasn’t overly sensitive like he expected it to be. It didn’t really feel like anything at all to him.

“... I think it’s broken.”

Matt laughed and shook his head. “I attached everything and ran basic diagnostics so everything is all hooked up, but I need to recalibrate you to make everything sync up. I also threw in a few sensitivity upgrades to make sure everything works well for you and your partner. Just the top three most popular erogenous zones. Nothing crazy.”

“... I better be able to close that program.” Muttered Keith.

“Of course you can.” Matt walked behind Keith and very carefully plugged a cable into the back of his neck. A loading screen appeared in Keith’s vision and waited for everything to download. It didn’t take more than a minute before it hit 100%.

“Data download complete.” Said Keith. “It is now safe to remove the cable.”

“Thanks.” Matt removed the cable and picked up a datapad. “Alright. I’m going to run some basic diagnostics to make sure everything is working. Promise I won’t mention this to anyone and I’ll keep it quiet. It’s really important to make sure that everything is working.”

“Fine…” Keith reluctantly opened the program and parts of his body immediately felt sensitive to the temperature of the room they were in. “... Is it meant to feel like this?” He asked awkwardly.

“Just give me a second…” Matt plugged a cable back into Keith’s neck and plugged the other end into his datapad. “... Okay, seems to be working…” He picked up a weird looking pen with a rubber tip. “I’m going to poke you now. Okay?”

“Fine…”

Matt started to gently poke and prod different places around Keith’s body. Keith shuddered a little when he clicked it over his nipples. “Good.” Muttered Matt. “Very good. That’s working well.” He had the same reaction when he softly but firmly ran it along his new dick. “Alright, you have a few different settings for this thing. Let’s just make sure you can orgasm. Open your file, adjust your setting to max.”

“Fine…” Keith did as he was told. He jumped in a little in surprise when his sensors went crazy. He jerked his hips up into the air and his eyes rolled back into his head as intense waves of pleasure rolled over him for what felt like forever, but was over way too soon. “Holy shit… What the fuck was that?”

“An orgasm.” Said Matt calmly as he looked at his datapad. “Let’s see… Yep. Data is all good. You can turn those settings back down and shut that program down.”

“Done.” Keith quickly did that and sighed in relief when his body went back to its regular sensitivity. “... I am so glad you didn’t give me some stupid upgrade that shoots fluids.”

Matt laughed and pressed some buttons on his datapad. “Honey, you couldn’t afford that upgrade. Anyway, we need to talk about maintenance.”

Keith nodded and quickly put his clothes on. It felt weird adjusting to have something between his legs now. It was weird. He took a few awkward steps. It was weird. He wasn’t sure he liked it or not. He didn’t know how most men were able to do this.

“You can play around with the settings at home, but if you’re going to fuck someone you have to use lube.” Said Matt. “This is non negotiable. Unless you happen to be messing around with an android that has their own lubrication system. Also, wash yourself with soap and water after sex. You need to keep yourself clean.”

“Got it.” Muttered Keith. “Can I go now?”

“Sure. Here.” He handed Keith a pamphlet. “Read this. It’s about maintenance.”

Keith blushed and quickly shoved it into his pocket. “Right… Thanks.” He walked out into the main shop front where Shiro was waiting for him. He smiled kind of awkwardly.

“All done?”

“Yeah, it’s done.” Muttered Keith. “Let’s get going.”

Matt grinned at them. “Come back any time if you want any other work done.”

“We will Matt.” Said Shiro as he directed Keith out of the shop. “So… How does it feel?”

“I can’t believe you can stand walking around with this thing between your legs.” Muttered Keith. “I think I’m going to end up sitting on my balls at some point this week.”

“Yeah, that’s probably going to happen at some point.” Admitted Shiro. “So… you and Lance were oddly affectionate the other day when Adam and I came back. Did something happen?”

“Yeah… Lance is a deviant.” He said quietly. “And he… He’s in love with me, and I love him.”

Shiro seemed surprised. “Really?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… Is this going to be a problem? I mean, Lance is taking care of Adam right now and he’s been waiting for a caretaker for so long…”

Shiro frowned. “Yeah… We’re going to have to talk to Adam about that… I still have two months on my lease… Do you think Lance would be okay with staying with Adam for two months?”

“Lance likes taking care of Adam.” Said Keith. “He won’t want to leave him. It’s cool. We can try and sort something out.”

“Good… Maybe I can talk to Pidge about some other kind of care android? He needs something that can physically pick him up and safely move him around if his hip is acting up on him and I’m not around.”

“Fair enough…” Muttered Keith. “I think we’ll need to have a serious talk about all this soon.”

“Agreed… But one question.”

“Shoot.”

“Are you and Lance going to… You know? Since you have a… You know?”

“Lance doesn’t have parts for that.” Said Keith. “I don’t think there are even parts fitted for him with that in mind since he’s a prototype. I’d need to talk to Pidge about that…”

“True…”

“He might not even want to.” Said Keith. “I mean, I haven’t really thought about it since I kind of just got this more for aesthetic reasons… Matt was the one that uploaded stuff so I could perform sexually.”

Shiro went bright red. “R-right. Well um… Have fun with that… Try not to be too noisy or um… Whatever…”

Keith rolled his eyes and tried to hide his own embarrassment. “Whatever.”

***

Lance was wondering how he should tell Adam that he’s a deviant. Should he tell him? He didn’t know what his reaction would be, but he hoped that it was positive. He really wanted it to be positive. Adam seemed like a nice person.

He walked over to Adam with his medications and handed them to him along with a glass of water. “Here are your medications.”

Adam seemed slightly annoyed, but he took them and handed the cup to him. “There. I hate these things.”

“I know. But you must take them to become better.”

“I know.” Muttered Adam. “But I still don’t like it. Now I’m going to be nauseous for most of the day.”

“Yes, but if that is the worst you feel then it’s not so bad.” Said Lance happily. “You could have constipation or swollen joints.”

Adam grimaced. “Yeah, fair enough… Still don’t like it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Sometimes I just want to vent and complain.” He muttered. 

“I know… How was your evening with Shiro?” He asked. “You haven’t talked much about that.”

Adam shrugged. “There isn’t really much to talk about. Shiro and I had a romantic dinner together. We talked about couple things and went to the hotel and well, did some more… things.” He smiled a little at that thought.

“Do you mean sex?”

“... Yes. I mean sex.” Muttered Adam.

Lance nodded and went about tidying up the lounge room. He couldn’t help but wonder what sex with Keith would be like. Kissing him was fun and he really liked that, but Lance wanted more. He wanted everything. He wanted all the things that couples had, and that included sex. But he wasn’t capable of doing that. He wouldn’t mind though… Could he ask Adam about getting something done without him thinking he is a deviant? Probably not, but he could try.

“Adam?”

“Yes?”

“I know this isn’t an appropriate question to ask… But if I may… What does it feel like?”

Adam looked up from his book. “Hmm? What does what feel like?”

“Sex.” Said Lance. “I don’t have the sensors to experience what it feels like but I…”

“You want to?” Asked Adam quietly. Lance nodded but couldn’t look at him. “Is this because of Keith?”

Lance suddenly became very, very nervous. “W-what? That um… Th-that would make me a deviant and th-that is-”

“Relax.” Said Adam calmly and he went back to reading his book. “Look, I’ve seen the way you look and act around Keith. I can tell you really like him. I was wondering how long it would be until you realised that you were a deviant.”

“... You’re not mad at me?” Asked Lance.

Adam shrugged. “I don’t think you being a deviant is a big deal. It’s just a thing that happens. I’d get a little upset and perhaps have second thoughts about you if you went and killed someone… Anyway, I guess the next time Pidge and Hunk come over we can ask about getting you fitted for something. It might not be perfect because you’re a prototype, but you never know.” He hummed a little as he turned a page. “Just think about what you want.”

Lance couldn’t help but grin. Adam was too kind and not judgemental. He didn’t know what he did to end up with a human like him. He was so lucky. But how was he going to convince Keith to get his own “enhancements”. They were only just kissing and gently touching each other the other night. They were exploring each other’s bodies and he was loving how firm, yet soft, Keith felt under his hands. It felt so nice. He wanted more. Hopefully Keith would feel the same way and want more of him.”

“But we are going to have to talk to Shiro and Keith about this.” Said Adam. “I still need a caregiver of some kind when Shiro is at work and not here.”

“Oh of course.” Said Lance quickly. “I would never think of just leaving you without proper medical care.”

“Thank you Lance.”


	114. Laser pointer (X-men AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is not a happy little vegemite... And James needs his ass kicked. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith couldn’t concentrate during history class. Why? Some absolute shit lord had decided to bring a laser pointer to class and it was taking every fiber of his being not to jump out of his chair and try and punch it. He wanted to smash it so bad. He knew exactly who was doing it too. James Griffin. The fucker had a stupid laser pointer in the back of his pen and he was just pointing it in places just in Keith’s range of vision.

He moved it from one corner to the other and Keith quickly moved his head with it. He heard James and one of his friends snicker when he followed the laser pointer. Keith felt like he was going crazy. Suddenly the light was on his hand. His.Fucking. Hand.

Keith couldn’t help but swat at it. That got them laughing a little louder. He was about to turn around and growl at them, but the bell rang and everyone quickly grabbed their stuff to leave. Their teacher told them that they would be taking a quiz in the next class about what they had just learned… The thing that Keith didn’t pay attention to because James had a laser pointer. That fucking dick.

Keith gritted his teeth in frustration, grabbed his things, and quickly left the room for his next class. James always did shit like this to him. Now he had to talk to the teacher or Adam and try to figure out what the actual fuck was going on. It seemed like it was going to be another sleepless night for him.

“You okay there?” Asked Pidge.

Keith shrugged. “Didn’t get any notes in History. James was distracting me.”

Pidge nodded and frowned. “Was this that laser pointer thing?”

“Yeah…”

Pidge frowned. “Did you really get that distracted?”

“Yeah… Um… Do you have any notes?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah. I’ll photocopy them at lunch. Want me to take care of that stupid pen?”

“Can you do something?”

“If it uses electricity I can take care of it.” Pidge adjusted her glasses. “... I’ve seen James use that pen a few other times too while in class… Are you always distracted when he does that?”

Keith nodded. “James is responsible for me having to stay up most nights cramming.”

“Fucking sucks. Anyway, lunch? It’s pasta Tuesday.” Said Pidge. “Hunk told me there’s like a vegetarian chicken alfredo, some gluten free spaghetti and meatballs, and a beef lasagna.”

“... How is a chicken alfredo vegetarian?”

“It’s some soy based thing that I don’t really know if it should be called chicken.” Said Pidge. “Not a fan.”

“Fair enough… Are you going to get the lasagna?”

“Nah, going after the meatballs. I got a mild gluten allergy.”

Keith was surprised to hear that. “Really?”

“Yeah, it isn’t that big of a problem. The skin on my arms just gets a little weird if I eat too much bread… Shouldn’t have eaten all that monkey bread the other night.”

“Probably… You don’t get stomach issues?”

“Nope.”

“... Weird.”

Pidge shrugged and the two of them headed to the kitchens. They got in line. Pidge grabbed the spaghetti and meatballs while Keith grabbed the lasagna. He was lucky and managed to score a corner piece. When he got his food he was going to sit by himself again, but Pidge gave him a quick hip check and gestured towards where Hunk and Lance were already sitting. 

The corners of Keith’s mouth twitched upwards slightly. He had friends now. He was friends with them. They liked him. He sat with them and quietly listened to them talking about stuff that happened in class. It was pretty damn loud, and Keith regretted sitting next to Lance since he was a loud mouth. At least he would shut up when he shoveled some food in his mouth. 

“... Is that the alfredo?” Asked Keith.

Lance looked down at his pasta and nodded. “Yep. Hunk said it was pretty good and well, I thought why not? Have you tried it before?”

“Substitute meat tastes really weird to me.” Said Keith. “I just… I don’t know. I guess it has something to do with my mutation or something? Meat substitutes taste really weird to me.”

“Really?” Asked Lance. “That’s weird.”

Hunk shrugged. “Some people taste things really differently. Pidge things cilantro tastes like sopa.”

“It does.” They grumbled. “Takes forever to pick it out of my food. It’s the worst.”

Lance gasped in shock. “Seriously? You’re missing out on so many delicious foods…”

“I’d rather not have my food taste like soap.”

Lance looked like he was about to cry. “But my tacos use lots of cilantro… You’ll never know how good it tastes…”

Keith rolled his eyes at Lance’s dramatic ass and went back to eating his lasagna. But that’s when he spotted it. The red dot. Left. Right. On the salt shaker. On his knife. He wanted to swat it so badly. His body started to tense as he quickly shifted around and grabbed the seat of his chair, digging his claws in deep. 

***

“I can’t believe it!” Whined Lance. He looked around at his friends in a dramatic way. “So much good food! The world is closed to you! All gone! Even Keith can eat cilantro! Right Keith? Keith?” He looked over at Keith and noticed that he was extremely tense. He looked like he was about to snap at any second. “Keith?”

Pidge frowned and quickly looked around the table and groaned. “Laser pointer.” They muttered. “Fucking James again…” They looked over at another table and they saw James with a laser pointer. Pidge adjusted their glasses and glared in his direction. Seconds later the laser pointer exploded in his hands, covering his hand in ink. James swore and Pidge flipped him off. “Guess it really was a pen too.”

Once the laser pointer was gone, Keith instantly relaxed, though he did look extremely embarrassed. He rubbed his claws against his pants and quickly ate another mouthful of his lasagna before Keith decided that everything was too awkward for him to stay. He quickly got up and left the room.

“... What the hell just happened?” Asked Lance.

Pidge rolled their eyes. “James is a piece of shit and randomly distracts Keith in class with a laser pointer. Keith’s like a cat and can’t control himself when he sees that dot. I’m guessing it takes everything he’s got to try and not jump out of his chair to grab it. He didn’t take any notes during history.”

“... Okay. This is bullshit.” Muttered Lance. “Someone’s gotta say something to him.”

“Like what?” Asked Hunk. “James is kind of… Intimidating. Also he can really mess things up for you if you get on his bad side...”

Lance rolled his eyes. He grew up with two big brothers and two older sisters. He knew how to handle himself pretty well. He’d confront him later right now he had to see if Keith was okay. Lance left the room and went to try and look for Keith. He wasn’t too sure where he was going to be. Maybe Adam’s office or his room? Their rooms were kind of past Adam’s office anyway, so he’d have to walk by there anyway.

He didn’t find Keith on his walk to their rooms so he ended up knocking on his door. “Keith? You in there buddy?”

After a few seconds the door opened and a miserable looking Keith opened up. “What?”

“... Why did you just leave like that?”

“Wasn’t hungry.”

“... I know about the laser pointer.”

“Then why did you ask if you already knew?” Snapped Keith. “So what? You going to go out and get a laser pointer too?”

“What? No.” Said Lance quickly. “I’m not an asshole… Does he do that much? The laser pointer thing?”

“Only when he knows it’s something I need to know for the next class.” Muttered Keith.

“Why don’t you tell someone?”

“No point.” Said Keith. “The teachers will just give him a slap on the wrist and that will be it.”

“Oh… Are you still hungry?” He asked. “We can probably sneak you something? Like, you didn’t eat much of your lunch and… It’d suck if you had to go hungry until dinner time.”

“... It’s fine Lance.” Said Keith quietly. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure… You had History earlier today, right?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. You want to borrow my notes?”

Keith nodded. Lance smiled and quickly grabbed his books from his room. When he came back Keith let him into his room. Lance was surprised at how clean and tidy everything was. He would have thought that Keith would have been a little more messy and a little less… clean. Keith’s room was almost magazine quality clean. The only thing slightly out of place was the messy sheets on the bed and some books on the desk near the window.

“... Man, you put mine and Hunk’s room to shame.” He said. “It’s so clean…”

Keith shrugged. “I guess I never just grew out of the idea that I’ll get kicked out at any time. Would have kept the garbage bag I used to use to carry my stuff in, but Shiro made me throw it out.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah… So History notes?”

“Right, here.” Lance put it on Keith’s desk and the other mutant took his phone out to quickly take some photos.

When Keith was done he looked through his photos and nodded in approval. “Thanks. I’ll look through this later tonight.”

“No problem… You know, you don’t have to take shit from James, right?”

Keith rolled his eyes and shoved his phone back into his pocket. “You’re not the one with behavioural issues. I’m always just one fuck up away from Allura getting fed up with my shit and kicking me out. Fuck, I’m going to graduate soon and after that… Allura’s going to kick me out anyway…”

“... Do you really think she would do that?” Asked Lance. “Maybe you can make a deal with her? Like um… Maybe if you do some online college course and some gardening or something she’ll let you stay? Maybe you can get a job in town?”

Keith cringed at the mention of getting a job. “Yeah… I’ll ask about the online courses. I doubt anyone would care enough to hire me for anything.”

Lance frowned. “You really put yourself down a lot for no reason. You know that right?”

Keith shrugged and started to neaten up his desk a little. “I know… But if I’m honest, I just can’t be bothered to put in any effort anymore. My whole life everyone’s treated me like shit and if I complained I was either ignored or beaten up for my troubles. I don’t expect anyone to help me even if I ask… So you guys actually giving a shit about me is really surprising.”

That was pretty damn depressing in Lance’s opinion. “Oh…”

“Yeah…”

“... Want to ditch class and just hand out here?” Asked Lance. “I can bring my laptop in. Pidge hooked me up with something she called a super VPN. It has all the things. I’m talking about Netflix, Stan, Hulu, Shudder, and all that good stuff.”

Keith seemed surprised. “You want to ditch class with me?”

“Yeah. I’ve only got what? Maths and science left today? Fuck that.”

Keith smiled a little and seemed to perk up. “I’d like that… Um… I still have some of the candy you gave me before if you want to eat some of that…”

“Really? You didn’t eat all of it already?”

He shrugged and took the bag out of one of his desk drawers. “I like to snack on them when I do my homework… Do you not like strawberry candy?”

“Yeah I do. Let me go and get my laptop. I’ll be right back.” Lance went and quickly grabbed his laptop and sat on Keith’s bed. Once he set everything up he gestured for Keith to sit next to him. Keith seemed a little hesitant but he did so. When he was next to him, Lance threw the blanket around the two of them, so he had to move close to Keith so they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. “You okay there man?” He asked.

Keith didn’t seem very comfortable but he nodded anyway. “Yeah. I’m fine.” 

“Okay… Let’s watch a comedy.” Lance put on some random comedy and settled in to watch it. About halfway through it he felt something brush up against his side. He quickly looked down and saw Keith’s tail. It had wrapped around him slightly and very lightly twitching. It was so cute. It made Lance grin. Keith was so unintentionally adorable. He hoped he felt better soon.


	115. First real attempt (HolyHell AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is trying, but damn it, Lance is dragging his heels about being celibate. Not very good news for a horny demon. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The morning was beautiful. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and everyone was happy as they gathered at the church for the wedding. Lance was only six years old at this wedding. It was his Aunt Camila’s wedding to her boyfriend. Some white guy called Steve. They were in his abuela and abuelo’s hometown so they could get married in the small church there. 

It was very beautiful, but for little six year old Lance, he was bored and his shoes hurt his feet. His mama had her hands full trying to keep his twin sister Rachel undercontrol. Even Lance knew that his sister was a ranging hellspawn at a young age that hated dresses.

While his family was distracted Lance wandered off to the back of the church where the little graveyard was. It was pretty old and Lance wasn’t sure if anyone was getting buried there anymore, so he felt relatively safe walking around and looking at the interesting headstones. Most of them were of angels and doves. It was pretty.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw something move. It looked like a flash of red or black. Lance frowned and looked in its direction. It looked like there was someone hanging out among the tombstones. Maybe one of his uncles? Someone from the man’s family?

Lance walked over to him. “Hey Mr? Are you okay?” He asked.

The man wasn’t wearing clothes that looked very appropriate for a wedding. He was wearing black jeans, a black shirt and a red crop jacket. The man also had long hair, kind of like a girl? The man looked up at him and if Lance was honest, this man looked very pretty. He raised an eyebrow at Lance and gave him a questioning look.

“Need something kid?” They asked in a slightly amused tone.

“Are you here for the wedding?” Asked Lance. “Are you a friend of aunt Camila’s or her boyfriend?”

The man looked over at the wedding and then back at Lance. “So that’s what’s going on… Explains why there are so many people here on a Saturday.”

“Yeah.” Lance hummed a little and rocked back and forth on his feet. “I wanted to be the ring barer, but mama said that the other someone from the other family could do it…” He pouted. “I wanted to do it.”

The man just chuckled a little. “Yeah? Well maybe next time you can do it?”

“Maybe… Auntie Camila wouldn’t let me try on her dress either.”

The man seemed even more amused now. “Oh? Well wedding dresses are very, very important to a bride. It’s very special, and a dress you can only wear once in your life. Don’t get too mad at her for wanting to keep you away from the dress.”

“I guess…” Said Lance. “Mama and Papa said boys don’t wear dresses and said I was silly for wanting to wear one… But it’s so pretty and special… I want a special dress too. All I got was these shoes…”

The man looked down at Lance’s shoes and shrugged. “You should be careful. Those shoes are going to get scuffed if you keep kicking them.”

Lance pouted some more. “I know… So, are you here for the wedding?”

The man shook his head. “Oh no, just passing through. The place looked nice so I decided to jump over the fence and relax a little before I continue on my quest.”

“A quest?” Asked Lance. “What quest?”

“I’m looking for a bride.” 

“A bride?”

“Yeah, a bride.” The man yawned and happily stretched out. “Been told by my friend that I should think about settling down and finding a bride. So I’m just going from town to town trying to find someone I like to be my bride.”

“Are you going to find a pretty girl?” Asked Lance. “... One with long curly hair like Camila?”

The man thought for a moment. “Well, if he wants to have long hair I don’t mind. Just has to look cute in a dress to be my bride.”

“... I think I’d look cute in a dress.”

The man seemed shocked by Lance’s comment before he started to laugh. “I’m sure you do kid. But I want my bride to be a little older than you.”

“... Like, ten?”

“More like say… twenty one?”

“That’s really, really old…”

“Ancient.”

“Really, really ancient.”

“Yep.” The man laughed. “Can’t help it. I like older people. It would be pretty gross if a man my age was interested or wanted to marry someone your age. Are you even in school yet?”

Lance pouted and crossed his arms. “I am old enough to be in school.”

“That’s nice kid.” 

“... Would your bride wear a special dress?”

“They can wear whatever they want on our wedding day.” Said the man. “He can wear a dress with the tallest heels he wants. As long as it makes him feel good we’ll do it. It’ll be a nice day… Once I find them that is.”

Lance nodded and looked down at his stupid shoes. Heels were pretty. He could wear some heels and look nice if he wanted them. “... Mr? When I get older, really, really old… Can I be your bride?”

The man looked shocked. “You want to be my bride?”

Lance nodded. “Yes. I wanna be your bride.”

The man shrugged. “Alright. Show me your hand.” Lance held out his hand and the man poked his finger. Lance jumped a little because it felt like he flicked his finger. “There. Now when you become an adult I’ll come back and collect you… Now you better go on back to the church before people start wondering where you are. Your parents are probably looking for you.”

“Hmm, probably. Bye Mr.” Said Lance as he quickly toddled back to the church. Much to his surprise no one had noticed he was gone.

***

Lance yawned and rubbed his eyes as he woke up. He’d been dreaming more of his aunt’s wedding over the past few days and different aspects of it. He was pretty sure he didn’t actually meet someone among the tombstones. Actually, he probably needed to check the headstones. Lots of them were really old and he’d need to let relatives know and the local historical society.

He quickly got up and got ready for the day. They got dressed in their gardening gear, grabbed some food, and headed to the cemetery. The cemetery was still attached to the church even though no one had been buried there for years. He kind of felt that the historical society should look after it, but there were still relatives of the people buried there and they were very much against anyone but the church taking care of their graves.

So Lance was out with the whipper snipper as he carefully trimmed the edges of the fence and around the tombstones. He hired a gardener to just mow around everything once a month. It was fine. Lance didn’t trust himself to go around the tombstones with the lawnmower by himself.

When he was done he started taking photos of every tombstone to send to the historical society. He happily hummed to himself as he worked. When he was done here, maybe he could just head down to the pub and get something warm to eat. The schnitzels there were so good, and there were so many of them. He’s almost eaten his way through the whole menu.

He suddenly felt something brush up against the back of his neck. “Hi.”

Lance screeched and quickly spun around. The man standing behind him was Keith. He looked a little more put together than he did before. Clean black jeans, dark red shirt, black jacket, and his hair was tied back into a low ponytail. However he was still wearing his biker boots and his fingerless gloves.

“Keith!” Snapped Lance. “Don’t do that!”

Keith chuckled. “What? I was just saying hi. Not my fault you’re like this.”

Lance pouted and crossed his arms. “Whatever… So, not wearing your vest today?”

“Yeah, sometimes I need to take it off. Just doesn’t look good with what I’m wearing.” Said Keith. He smiled softly at him. “So what are you doing?”

“Just doing some grave tending.” Said Lance. “With the way things are now, the cemetery is still the responsibility of the church… But a lot of the restoration done by the historical society… Yeah.”

“Huh, you almost done?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah, why?” Asked Lance. “Do you need help finding the thing you left here before?”

“... How did you-? Shiro.”

“Shiro.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Well Shiro should just learn how to mind his own business… Anyway, I was actually wondering if you wanted to get lunch with me?”

Lance was a little surprised. “Oh? Um, okay? I just need to chuck some stuff in my car…”

“Want me to meet you there?” He asked.

“Sure.”

“And you’ll actually turn up this time and not ditch me?”

Lance blushed slightly and averted his eyes. “Well… I was busy working really late… Sorry…”

Keith shrugged. “Just be there soon. Okay? I’ll stick around until two.” Keith walked out of the cemetery, got on his bike, and drove into town.

***

About half an hour when Keith got to the pub Lance showed up. He was wearing a new shirt and looked like he had cleaned himself up a little. Lance sat opposite him at the table and smiled. “Sorry, that took a little longer than I expected. But I’m here now. Have you ordered anything to eat yet?”

Keith shook his head as he very obviously checked Lance out. Sure he clothes were a little dirty, but Lance did look cute. He was such a cute human. Always had been, always would be. Well, when he was a kid he had that innocent kind of puppy cuteness, which made him want to cuddle and protect. Now that Lance was an adult he was still cute, but he now had sexual appeal too.

Lance pulled a menu and held it out to Keith. “Well, I don’t know what you like, but they do ten different schnitzels here… But if you count if it’s chicken or pork, then it’s twenty.”

“I see…” Keith looked down at the menu and looked through everything. Human food was so interesting to him. He honestly didn’t need to eat it to survive. Eating was just an over indulgent luxury. Eating also released endorphins and endorphins were good. It just wasn’t feasible to fuck or wank off to get that hit of positivity chemicals. Yeah, demons were pleasure chasers. Who wouldn’t be when their bodies didn’t make enough on their own to make themselves feel good.

Lance hummed happily and pointed to some of the food on the menu. “The beef burgers are very nice. Perfectly cooked and the fries here are super thick cut. It’s so nice… Pretty sure the triple bacon, breakfast burner will kill someone but…”

Keith had a quick look at the menu and raised an eyebrow. It was a beef patty, two slices of cheese, two hashbrowns, three slices of bacon, and a fried egg. Keith could feel his arteries harden in his chest just reading it. 

“I’m pretty sure I would die if I ate that.” Muttered Keith.

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yep… It’s a pretty good hangover cure though.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. I do drink a lot.”

“Yeah… You might want to consider cutting back a bit if you have more than one or two standard drinks every other night.” Said Lance. “Not that I’m telling you how to live your life. I’m just… I usually help out at the A.A meetings. Like, get snacks and drinks… If someone is religious they like to talk to me after the meeting… I um… I’ve picked up a few things. That’s all.”

“It’s fine. I appreciate your concern. My liver is one of my strongest organs though.”

“Yeah…”

After a few minutes the owner’s lovely wife came by to take their order. Keith got a schnitzel with cheese, while Lance got some crazy one with avocado, bacon, cheese, and bearnaise sauce. So Lance was the kind of guy that liked fancy, more elaborate food? That was interesting. He could get Lance more fancy food.

They talked for a little more and Keith couldn’t help but smile at Lance. The Pastor was a kind man and kept the conversation light. He didn’t ask Keith too many questions about himself, though he probably didn’t want to know. Not that Keith could blame him. He did have a pretty shady past and life in general.

And he wanted to pull Lance into that world. His world. A world of demons. A world of endless pleasure seeking and exploration. He always wondered why humans hated them so much. Humans were all about trying to find the best and most pleasurable ways to exist. It wasn’t his fault that demons were just the ultimate pleasure seekers. Alcohol dulled the urge to seek it out which was why he and his group were heavy drinkers. Hell, alcohol had been used to placate demons for years.

Their food came and the two of them ate in peace. Once they were done they two of them left the pub. Keith didn’t want Lance to leave just yet. He wanted to stay with Lance a bit longer. He wanted his Bride to be with him.

“So what are you doing now?” Asked Keith. “Back to the church? Want to do something together?”

Lance frowned a little and crossed his arms. “Keith… I have a feeling that this was a little more than two guys just getting lunch together.”

“... Would it be so bad if I considered it a date?”

Lance sighed. “Keith… First of all, it’s totally inappropriate to trick someone into going on a date with you. Secondly, I am a Pastor and celibate. I’m never going to be with someone in a sexually intimate way. I’ll never be with anyone in that way. Thirdly, I um… I’m straight…”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Yeah, no. You’re not straight.” One of the few perks about being a demon was the innate ability to identify a human’s sexual preference. It was a very handy thing to have. Especially when trying to find a partner for the evening.

Lance’s face went a beautiful shade of red. “R-regardless of my sexuality, I am celibate. I gave myself to the church. My body and soul belong to them.”

“Let the church keep them.” Said Keith. “I just want your heart.”

“... Dude you’re coming in way too strong.” Muttered Lance. “I um… I have work to do. Bye.” Lance quickly left and Keith was annoyed. Again.

It didn’t work, but he wanted to. So very, very fucking badly. He sighed in annoyance and headed back to the motel. Along the way he ran into Shiro. Though it was more than likely that the demon had been hanging around to see how things were going. With the lack of a cute Pastor trying to suck his dick, it was pretty obvious this failed spectacularly.

“... So, going to try the dream thing?” Asked Shiro.

“Dream thing.” Muttered Keith. “But first, whisky.”


	116. Gone Boy (Monster AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one is having a good time. Just... Just no one... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Things were getting weird at school. Lance had been absent for three days and his friends were really worried. They had first assumed that Lance might have done something stupid and sprained his ankle again, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Lance would have texted them if something was wrong.

Eventually Pidge, Allura, and Hunk went to confront Rachel and get some answers. She didn’t seem surprised when they managed to catch her after school. She was waiting in the drop off area for her older sister, Veronica, to pick her up.

“This is about Lance, isn’t it?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Said Pidge. “Where is he?”

“Did he hurt himself again?” Asked Hunk.

Rachel frowned and awkwardly looked down at the ground. “Look… I don’t really want to talk about it… I… Fuck, it shouldn’t have happened.” She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. “This is all really, really fucked up…”

Allura frowned and put her hand on her shoulder. “Rachel. It’s okay. You can tell us. What happened?”

“I… I don’t want this to spread around but…” Rachel gestured for them to come closer and she whispered to them. “Lance tried to commit suicide.” His friends were shocked. Rachel just shrugged. “I guess… I guess he just couldn’t take it anymore… After seeing… It really fucked with his head more than we thought. He got taken to some hospital for observation in the next town over. He was on suicide watch, but they are a lot more careful with him because of his CIPA… They are keeping him under observation for a week and then if the doctors say he’s able to, then we can visit him...”

Hunk looked like he was going to cry. “Oh my god… that’s horrible… I am so, so sorry…”

“W-what did he do?” Asked Pidge quietly. “Like, if it isn’t too…”

“I don’t know all the details but he apparently went to the woods and tried to kill himself right where those people were…” Rachel was trying very hard to keep herself together. “I… I’m his twin… I should have noticed something was wrong with him. I saw signs but ignored them.”

“You can’t blame yourself.” Said Allura. “No one can-”

“But he was acting so weird!” Snapped Rachel. “Lance was so quiet. He’s been so tired lately… But he still left the house for hours and didn’t come back until… And when he came back he always looked tired, and I swear I saw he had blood on his shirt one time when he came back… I… I think he was contemplating doing this for a few days...”

Allura pulled her into a hug and tried her best to soothe her. “It’s okay Rachel… I’m sure Lance will be okay. Just let the doctors take care of him… He’ll be okay.”

“Let us know when he can have visitors.” Said Hunk. “We’ll go and see him.”

As their friends were comforting Rachel something just didn’t seem to sit right with Pidge. Lance was a lot of things, but suicidal wasn’t one of them. He was generally a happy guy that was just going through some stuff. It wasn’t that bad that he wouldn’t talk to them though, right? They wanted to check the woods near Lance’s house.

Veronica pulled up and Rachel got into the car. When she was gone the three friends just looked at each other. They were confused and upset. “I don’t buy it.” Said Pidge. “Lance was a little fucked up, but he wasn’t suicidal fucked up.”

“How would you know?” Asked Hunk. “He hasn’t been hanging out with us after school… At least not since… We should have pushed to hang out with him more.” He muttered.

Pidge frowned and crossed her arms. “Yeah… Well, I’m going to look around the woods.”

“Why?” Asked Allura.

“If Lance really was going to kill himself he probably left something out there somewhere.” Said Pidge. “Probably something in a tin or buried somewhere.”

“Really?” Asked Allura.

Pidge shrugged. “This whole thing feels odd, so I am going to look. You guys don’t have to, but I am.”

Their friends seemed very hesitant, but reluctantly agreed. The group headed to the woods. They didn’t really know what they were looking for, but Pidge knew it was out there somewhere. Lance would have at least tried to say goodbye to them before he… It was all too fishy and they didn’t like it at all.

“There isn’t much out here.” Said Allura quietly. “If he buried something for someone to find wouldn’t it be closer to his house?”

Hunk shrugged. “Maybe? If he was thinking rationally… He might not have been thinking too clearly if…”

They three continued to look around. Allura found a trail. Possibly made by an animal and followed it for a bit. A little over the horizon they spotted the roof of an old hunting shack. Many of the ones in this area had been abandoned because they were too close to the town to hunt safely, or for big game to come around anymore during hunting season. Pidge approached the shack. 

“What are you doing?” Asked Hunk.

“Checking to see if someone’s living here.” Said Pidge. There wasn’t a light on inside at first glance, and the roof looked like it had a terrible patchwork job trying to fix it. They put their hand on the door and gave it a light tug to see if it would open. It did. It was unlocked.

“What are you doing?” Asked Allura. “We shouldn’t go in there.”

“Relax, it looks abandoned.” Said Pidge. They opened the door and immediately cringed. It smelled stale and kind of like something died in there. To be fair a raccoon probably did die in there. It was pretty old. 

As their eyes adjusted to the light they saw some antlers on the table. They looked around a little and eventually their eyes adjusted enough to notice the dark red, almost brown smears on the ground. Hunk and Allura followed them in and Allura let out a scream. 

“The-the bed!” She said as she pointed a finger at it. Hunk and Pidge looked over at it. The mattress was completely drenched in blood. Dark brown and reddish brown. Hunk looked a little concerned but Allura and Pidge shared a knowing look.

“What is that?” Asked Hunk.

“Blood.” Said Allura. “It’s dried blood.”

“How do you know?” He asked quietly.

Allura shook her head. “I’m a girl Hunk, and Pidge is bound by female biology. We know what dried blood looks like.”

“... Right.” Muttered Hunk. “That’s… That’s a lot of blood… M-maybe someone had some trouble with an animal or something?”

“Who guts an animal on a mattress?” Asked Pidge. She continued to look around and found a hatch in the floor. It looked like there were some bloody handprints on it, and some footprints leading away from it. It made Pidge a little uneasy. They turned the light on their phone and opened it. The smell of rot was a lot stronger there and a few flies managed to fly out.

Both Hunk and Allura gagged when they smelled it. It was disgusting. None of them really wanted to go down there and kind of shared a look that maybe they shouldn’t be there. “We should leave… Maybe call the police or tell someone? Aren’t there meant to be park rangers around here or something?”

“Maybe…” Muttered Pidge. They were about to close the hatch when they noticed something on one of the steps. They frowned slightly and focused their eyes on it. When they realised what it was they almost dropped their phone. It was a finger. A human finger. They quickly slammed the hatch shut. “Police. Definitely police. We need to leave now. Not touch anything and leave.”

“What? Why?” Asked Allura.

“I think someone was killed here…”

“...” Hunk threw his hands up and walked out the door. “Alright. We just go out and try to see if Lance left anything for us about his suicide attempt, but we find a crime scene instead. Perfect!”

***

Lance had been drifting in and out of sleep for who knows how long. He sure didn’t. Lance constantly felt dizzy and nauseous. He tried opening his eyes but they felt heavy. He didn’t know where he was, but at least he was comfortable.

He still felt like crap. He could kind of hear people talking around him and every now and then he felt something pressing against his skin in different places. Sometimes it felt like tugging and pulling. Maybe ripping and tearing? He couldn’t tell anymore. 

Slowly things were becoming less foggy and he could almost hear people talking. He could almost remember their conversation. One of them was definitely Honerva, his doctor. The other was some unknown man. Was he in the hospital? Why was he here again?

“His body is quite remarkable.” Said Honerva calmly. “His body heals very quickly when we cut into him, but that speed is practically instantaneous when we use that extract made from K-P2’s saliva. It’s essentially the active ingredient.”

“Not surprised.” Said the man. He chuckled darkly. “So our little monster has just been eating him for days and he doesn’t even have a single scratch on him? Let’s try baiting him.”

“How?”

“Get me a hatchet and a bucket. I’ll turn him into chum.”

“Sendak, you can’t do that.” She said in a rather uninterested tone. “Lance is part of our project. Not yours… I’ll run it by our lead and see what she says. She’s rather distressed that Lance is here and the cover story we had to use. Said it’s doing a number on his siblings. They will all want to see him soon.”

“Well that’s her fault.” Said Sendak. “She’s the one that was stupid enough to sign the contract. She knew that she might have to give up one of her kids. Bitch should have used a condom or birth control if she didn’t want this to happen. Fucking stupid woman.”

“Wow, tell us all how you really feel.” Muttered Honerva. “So you’re what now? A racist and sexist?”

“How am I racist?”

“You called the cleaning lady Ching Chong. Her name is Anna.”

“... Yeah, okay. Fair enough.” Muttered Sendak. “Anyway, I guess you’re happy about how this all turned out anyway. If one of her twins didn’t turn out to be a boy it would have been your brat on the chopping block.”

“... Yes.”

“You fuckers were the ones that said you needed a male. I would have been perfectly fine if it was a girl. I would have loved to have seen what the result of a pupa and a generator having a baby would be. It would be a whole new species.” He chuckled. “Probably would be more stable then the current one.”

“Probably.” Muttered Honerva. Lance felt something press into his arm. “Okay. All done. I’m going to go and get this tested… Don’t abuse him while I’m gone… In fact, come out here with me.”

“What do you think I’m going to do? Fuck the drugged out freak?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“Hey, I am an asshole but I’m not that much of an asshole.” The two of them continued to talk and argue as they left the room. Lance tried to process everything that just happened. He didn’t really understand what was happening. Why were they talking about his mama like she was working for them? Wasn’t he at a hospital? Maybe? No… No he wasn’t at a hospital… He had no idea what was going on and at this point he was too drugged up to try and figure it out.

***

Keith didn’t really know where to go now. He didn’t know where he would be safe. Was it even possible for him to be safe? Lance had said that humans were everywhere on earth. While that was kind of good in a sense that he wouldn’t need to hunt too hard for his food, it meant that they might band together and hunt him down. He just wanted to be left alone.

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He wished that Lance was with him. He wished that someone was with him. Being alone was… lonely. Maybe if he could keep his cravings for human flesh down he could make friends with humans? He’d really like that. Being alone was… lonely… He missed Lance.

Keith sighed a little more and continued to wander aimlessly around the woods. He avoided the places where he could smell humans. He made his way back to the lake where that island was. He shrugged it off and headed back into the woods. He ended up walking around and eventually making his way back to the lake’s edge. 

Maybe he wanted to go to the island? Was something drawing him there? He didn’t know. Maybe he should just give up trying to be human and just follow his instincts? Go where his body told him he wanted to go? Apparently his body wanted him to go to the island. How the hell would he get there? He didn’t think he could swim there. It was annoying.

The wind suddenly changed and Keith smelled something familiar. He quickly turned his head and saw him. “Shiro!” Keith was immediately happy, but at the same time he was a little hesitant. Especially when he saw his fake arm. “Shiro…”

Shiro smiled nervously at him. “Hey… You’re very hard to track down.”

“Yeah… Are you here to take me back?”

“No…” He stood by him and looked out to the island. “Did Lance tell you that you needed to leave the area?”

“I’m going to the island.”

“But why? You need to get out of here and away from-”

“I know.” Said Keith calmly. “But I need to go to the island. I don’t know… It’s calling me. I need to go there…”

“Oh… So your home…” Muttered Shiro.

“Home?”

“When certain animal species are pregnant or ready to have children they return to the place they are born.” Said Shiro. “Like turtles or salmon. They always return… home… To breed…” He looked over at Keith with a worried look. “Keith… You are an adult now. Right?”

Keith frowned and looked down at himself. “I… I don’t know… I assume I am? I mean, I look like I am an adult?”

“Keith, we have no idea what you really are. We only assumed you’re an adult now because you’re physically an adult by humans standards… But you could still just be a teenager about to become an adult.” Said Shiro. “There is a chance your body might still change and become something else…”

“I guess I could…” Muttered Keith as he looked down at his hands. “Maybe when I become an adult I won’t feel the need to eat human flesh anymore?”

“There’s hope… They have Lance.”

“What?”

Shiro sighed. “Lance. The person you have been feeding off. They caught him the other day and… Sendak has been talking about baiting the woods with his flesh to lure you out.” Said Shiro quietly. “He wants to chop Lance up and put his parts in random places to see if you will come by and eat them…”

“That’s…” Keith sighed. “What do you want me to do?”

“I… I don’t know.” Muttered Shiro. “I just thought you should know… They are going to cut him open. It’s… They know he doesn’t feel pain anymore. He can’t feel pain, but he’s been sedated. Honerva wants to see how long until his body won’t heal itself anymore.”

“They want to kill him?” Questioned Keith. He didn’t want Lance to die. Lance had always been nice to him. Always willingly gave himself to him and tried to make sure he was well fed. But now they had him. They were going to hurt him. Lance didn’t deserve to get hurt. He didn’t want Lance to get hurt. He liked having Lance around for more than just eating him. He liked talking to Lance and learning things from him. Being with Lance made him happy. He hoped that Lance liked being with him. Lance didn’t deserve to be locked up anywhere and taken advantage of.

“I don’t think they want to kill him, but he will die eventually.” Said Shiro quietly. “This isn’t what I signed up for. I never signed up for this. I signed up to look at cave bugs. Not… Not all this fucked up human testing bullshit.”

Keith nodded and thought this over. “Shiro… I’m guessing you don’t want Lance to stay there?”

“Clearly.”

“... If you can get me a way to that island I’ll get Lance out.”

“Really?’

“Yeah, lots of people are going to die though.” Warned Keith. “I’m not exactly subtle…”

“I know. But honestly? At least you make it quick.”

Keith sighed. He knew how awful that place was and he didn’t want Lance to be forced to live in those conditions. “Yeah… I’ll get him out. But remember, I want the boat.”

“Deal.”

“Yeah… And Shiro?”

“Hmm?”

“Sorry I ate your arm…” 

He meant it too. It was an accident. Shiro had advocated for him to be able to talk to him without the huge plastic partition in the way. It just so happened that the day they allowed this to happen Keith was on week three of forced starvation. He was pretty sure it wasn’t a coincidence at this point. Either way, Keith was starving and he needed food. Shiro was right there and he needed it. He didn’t want Shiro to die, so at the last second he moved his head and ripped off his fucking arm. He managed to run off to a corner of the room to eat it while Shiro managed to get out and get medical help.

“It’s okay.” Said Shiro. “I’m starting to think Sendak wanted me dead.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, but enough about that.” Said Shiro. “I’ll get you a boat to get to the island. You doing this tonight?”

“Yeah. Tonight.”


	117. Yoga Master (Modern Fantasy AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans are afoot at the yoga studio. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With a few phone calls Lance managed to get Keith, Krolia, Shiro, Lotor, and Sendak to get together for a group session at night. He had taken the group to a hot yoga studio. It was like normal yoga, but in a humid room. His mama seemed to think it was good, so Lance was happy to bring everyone in on it.

“Glad you guys could make it.” Said Lance as the group walked in. “We’re going to have a lot of fun tonight.”

“Why is it so humid in here?” Asked Keith.

Lotor rolled his eyes. “What’s the plan for today?”

“I also want to know why this place is so damn humid.” Muttered Sendak.

Shiro just laughed. “Geez, you guys have no clue? There’s only one thing you could do in a place like this.”

Lance was relieved that one of them seemed to know what was going on. “I’m glad you’re familiar with this place Shiro. I figured I’d have to explain it to everyone, but…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Said Shiro with a grin. “Just leave it to me.”

“Thanks man. You’re a lifesaver.” Lance quickly picked up a few bags. “Here. Take these.”

“What is it?” Asked Keith. 

“A change of clothes, and a towel.” Lance then gestured over to the change rooms. “The Men’s change room is over there. You guys can just get ready in there. Krolia, the women’s change-”

“Must everything be segregated by gender with you humans?” Asked Krolia. “In our world these kinds of archaic and obtuse segregation is just so… I can’t help but shake my head.”

Keith shook his head. “Sorry about that Lance. She’ll just use the same change room as us. Most people from our world aren’t as scared of our bodies as humans seem to be.”

Lance sighed and shook his head. “It’s more about modesty… but whatever. It’s not harming anyone. Just take the bags and go get ready,”

“You heard the human.” Said Shiro. “Follow me.”

While the group went about changing Lance laid out the mats and adjusted the humidity. He was going to go through some easy stretches first to see what their skill level was. After that he’d slowly increase the difficulty until they all found their limit. From there he would work on helping them increase their flexibility. He quickly left the building to grab some extra water bottles from his car. 

Less than ten seconds after Lance came back into the building everyone was walking out of the change room. However, there was something very, very wrong. Every single one of them was naked. Lance froze in shock with his mouth agape.

“Okay, we’re ready.” Said Shiro.

“WHY ARE YOU NAKED?” Cried Lance.

“What do you mean why?” Asked Shiro. “It’s a sauna.”

Lance was horrified. “What? No, no, no, no!”

“Hey mum, is this your first time in a sauna?” Asked Keith.

Krolia nodded. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.”

“It’s my first time too.” Said Sendak.

“Remember what I said earlier.” Warned Lotor. “Put a towel down before you sit down. You don’t want to embarrass yourself like the chunky pig over here.” He gestured towards Keith.

Keith glared at him. “Fuck you too balloon ass.”

“Knock it off you two.” Said Shiro. “The sauna should be a place to enjoy peace and quiet.”

“Let me handle this.” Said Krolia calmly. She walked over to the two bickering elves, grabbed a handful of Keith’s belly fat and a handful of Lotor’s ass fat and twisted harshly, making them both yelp. “Quiet you two.”

Shiro shook his head. “You two… Hey Lance, can you crank up the heat? It’s not nearly hot enough in here.”

“THIS ISN’T A SAUNA!” Yelled Lance. “PLEASE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!” Five very awkward minutes later everyone was dressed again and Lance was trying to explain what was going on. “We’re doing hot yoga. It’s yoga done in a high-temperature, high-humidity environment to make you sweat profusely.”

Keith nodded and looked at Shiro. “So you were completely wrong?”

Shiro shrugged. “It was a hot, humid room, so naturally I thought it was a sauna.”

Sandak shook his head. “I don’t think you get what a sauna is…”

Krolia ignored her son and probed for more answers. “So what exactly this yoga thing?”

“Well, it started as a form of spiritual practice in ancient India.” Informed Lance. “But in modern times, it has separated from its religious roots and become a form of exercise. The poses called asana, put a strong emphasis on breathing techniques. It’s said that they’re the best form of calisthenics… And when you put it in a hot room you get hot yoga.”

“So we’re doing calisthenics?” Asked Sendak.

Lance nodded and gestured down to the floor. “I spread out some yoga mats for you guys. Go ahead and pick one to stand on and we can start.”

“Sounds kind of hardcore…” Muttered Keith as he found a mat. “If this used to be a religious thing… Some ritual practices can be pretty crazy.”

“It’s okay.” Said Lance. “There are poses you can do even if you’re a beginner.”

“And you’ll teach us?” Asked Lotor.

Lance nodded. “That’s right. I used to do gymnastics in middle school and highschool, so I’m really flexible. Marco and I have also been coming here for about half a year, though I usually just do the yoga classes and not the hot yoga classes. Either way, Marco knows the woman that runs this place and managed to pull some strings for us.” He clapped his hands and took his place at the front of the room. “Okay, let’s start. With the most basic pose. Easy pose, or sukha asana.”

He got the group to sit on the floor with their legs crossed. He instructed them to make sure that their pelvis is not tilting forward or backwards. It needed to be flush against the ground. He made sure that their back was straight, and their shoulders were relaxed, nit tense.

“Now take a deep breath down to your core.” Said Lance calmly. “The easy pose is very good for meditation as well if you guys feel so inclined.”

Keith sighed. “Man, I’m just sitting, but I’m already sweating…”

Lance chuckled. “Yeah, the hot air will do that. You guys are going to sweat quite a bit, so remember to stay hydrated. No point doing exercise if you don’t look after yourself.”

Lance happily got them to do several different poses and explained their benefits. Happy baby pose to improve poor blood circulation, help relieve constipation, and reduce lower back pain. Garland pose to increase hip joint flexibility and train the muscles around the pelvis area. Chair pose to strengthen your lower half and reduce tightness in the hip area.

“Your form is very important, but so is your breathing.” Reminded Lance. “Breathe deep, but not deep enough that you put stress on your body.”

Staff pose to improve posture, build core strength, and stretch out the lower body. Downward dog pose to improve blood circulation, reduce tightness in the back, thighs, and hips. Tree pose to train core and leg muscles, reduce swelling and sensitivity to cold. Warrior pose to reduce stiffness in shoulders and reduce tightness in the lower half of the body. Triangle pose to strengthen the core and to stretch out the sides and legs.

Lance grinned and happily walked around the group and helped them adjust their postures ever so slightly as they were in the middle of triangle pose. “Wow, you guys are really good at this. Looks like it won’t be long until we can move onto the more advanced poses.”

Lotor was struggling to get into proper position and was wobbling slightly. “It’s kind of hard to keep balance in this position…” He muttered.

“Oh, don’t worry about it Lotor.” Said Lance. “Your body has always been a bit on the tight side.”

“That sounds like sexual harassment.”

“You know what I mean. Just be careful not to push yourself too far.”

“Yeah, Okay.” As Lotor paused to catch his breath he couldn’t help but feel like a very smug, potato loving elf was smirking over his shoulder. He looked over at said smug elf balancing on one leg in dancer pose.

“What’s wrong Lotor?” Cooed Keith. “Just do your best. We all have to start somewhere.”

“... Fuck you.” Growled Lotor, and he quickly performed a spinning kick, hitting Keith hard in his ass with enough force to knock him to the ground.

“FUCK!” Yelped Keith as he hit the ground. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

“YOU STARTED IT!”

“Please don’t fight…” Said Lance quietly.

As the two elves fought with each other Shiro sighed as he and Sendak moved into moon pose. “Are those two fighting again?”

“Yep.” Muttered Sendak. “Those two fight more than us titan races. It’s ridiculous.”

“Tell me about it.”

Krolia herself seemed to have completely tuned out the chaos around her and had reached a zen state. She was breathing calmly as she effortlessly moved into warrior pose three. Yoga seemed to come naturally to her.

Meanwhile Lotor had armed himself with several bottles of water and was pegging them at Keith. “Fucking die you pot bellied piggy!”

Keith skillfully dodged a gottle and growled. “How many times do I have to teach you a lesson, Lardtor?!”

The water bottle missed Keith and hit Shiro right in the chest when he and Sendak were in eagle pose. He stumbled back a little as he grabbed it and shook his head. “Those guys… Seriously, they are going to end up hurting each other…”

“Hmm… Interesting…” Muttered Sendak.

Shiro frowned and looked over at the cyclops. “What?”

He shrugged. “Oh nothing… Just noticed I was able to hold the pose longer than you did… Well, not like it matters. Not like it’s a competition or anything...”

“... What?” Growled Shiro as he took a step towards Sendak. “You looking for a challenge, one eye?

“Suits me sauna boy. First one to put their other foot down loses?” Asked Sendak in a dangerous tone.

“Hey!” Snapped Lance. “No fighting! I’m talking to you two too! Not just Keith and Lotor!” The two titans were quickly standing on one leg each and trying to aggressively push the other over while Lotor and Keith were running around throwing water bottles at each other while screaming bloody murder.

Lance felt like crying. All he wanted to do was to introduce them to a healthy activity. He had no idea how it ended up like this. However, Krolia was still unaffected by the chaos around her as she moved to reverse warrior pose. It was like some incredible force of will. Something she had probably learned from years on the battlefield in her world. Krolia was a true yoga master.

She easily moved to the next pose and dodged Keith throwing a water bottle back at Lotor. It was impressive, however the bottle completely missed Lotor and knocked Lance the fuck out. With the speed and grace that only Krolia possessed, she skillfully caught the poor man. If Lance was conscious at this point he would have been extremely happy with Krolia’s breasts squishing up against the side of his face.

“Shit!” Hissed Keith. “I am so sorry Lance!”

“Unbelievable…” Muttered Krolia. “Lance has sacrificed so much to teach us and this is how you all treat him? You four… Are the worst.” She stood up, grabbed Sendak and Shiro by the back of their heads and knocked their foreheads together, knocking them out. She then repeated the same with Lotor and Keith. She sighed as she stood in the middle of the room. The lone soldier amongst her knocked out companions. She took a deep breath and moved back into warrior three pose. “Seriously… Some people are just so ungrateful.”


	118. Warming up (Royal AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is doing his best to try and get some approval from mama Krolia... and Shiro and Adam are trying out video dating. Kudos and comment wehn you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Also, I drew a picture of baby Keith;  
> https://www.deviantart.com/underzeweather/art/Keefers-848157981

Lance was 95% sure he was going to die, and 5% sure he was going to get maimed severely. She took Lance to the armoury and grabbed a large battle axe. Lance grabbed the bow again and was practically dragged by the back of his shirt into the wilds. He was quietly freaking out. She was going to probably kill out in the wilds and let some wild animals eat his body. 

Maybe he should have just rejected Yurak’s courting attempts? At least when it came to meeting the parents it was customary to do it at the very end of a courting period when both parties were sure they wanted to be together and go monogamous. Also, it was meant to be a grand dinner thing too. Like a welcome to the family kind of thing.

But now Lance was back out in the wilds with Krolia, who was taking him into much deeper, more dense parts than Yurak had taken him. He felt like he was constantly being watched by something, which he probably was. This planet was dangerous.

“If it isn’t obvious, I do not approve of your courtship.” Said Krolia suddenly.

“Never would have guessed.” Said Lance sarcastically.

“... Sarcasm is unbecoming of you.” Said Krolia calmly. “Anyway, I hope you do not find it disrespectful for me to say that. It isn’t uncommon for parents to disapprove of those their kits are trying to court. We always want what is best for them and do not want our kits to just settle for someone we do not believe is worthy of them. As such you can see that disapproval is common.”

“Guessing you don’t want your son to be with a fool?”

Krolia nodded. “Yes. I would prefer my son be courting someone with battle experience. Someone that can handle themselves. They need to be able to protect themselves and their new family. You’re not someone I can just begrudgingly approve of for the sake of keeping peace with my son.”

“Right…” Muttered Lance. He kind of figured that Krolia would be like that. He would just need to show her that he was a good hunter or something? That sounded about right… Maybe? Killing something would probably impress her. Hopefully it wouldn’t be anything too difficult. But he doubted that.

“Don’t get me wrong, if you can prove yourself I will accept you two courting… I don’t know if your species is close with your parents, but Galra are very close with their familial packs. Yurak’s very important to me and I want what is best for him.”

“I know… I want what’s best for Yurak too.” Said Lance. “But he’s already proven he’s going to be a good partner and lover by Altean standards.”

“... Lover?”

“Through physical touch.” Said Lance quickly. “We didn’t… Okay, sex and physical connections are very important to Alteans, but I know that Galra aren’t as physically open to that… But I’m more than happy to negate that part of our courting for Yurak’s sake. Just doing some of our courting rituals is good enough for me. I’m okay with compromising.”

“I see…” Muttered Krolia. “What other courting rituals will you subject my son to?”

Lance thought for a moment. There were several sexual things they probably wouldn’t be able to do just because of their aversion to getting too physical too quickly, but there were still a few physically intimate things they could do.

“Well… If I can get my hands on some massage oils I wouldn’t mind doing that.” Said Lance.

“Massages?” Questioned Krolia. “We do know of the therapeutic benefits of such a practice, but it is usually just for the purposes of recovery… How have you Altean’s twisted this practice into something sexual?”

Lance pouted and kicked at some rocks. “It’s not meant to be sexual, though it can become sexual… It’s more about touch and seeing how our partners will touch us and make us feel special… Touching and physical intimacy is very important to Alteans, and if I’m willing to go and do this hunting thing to make you less unhappy about me getting courted by Yurak, I think he can put up with getting a massage or giving me a massage.”

“Right…” She seemed very doubtful. “Anyway, let’s continue on…” 

The two of them walked until Krolia held up her hand to make Lance stop walking. She pointed to a tree trunk. It just seemed like a tree trunk to him until some large insect flew by. A shape on the tree truck shifted and changed colour. It’s mouth snapped open and it quickly ate the insect.

Lance yelped in shock and jumped backwards. “W-what was that?”

“A krilly.” She said calmly. “A large reptilian that ambushes their prey by camouflaging on trees for movements at a time. They are pretty dangerous and you have to be careful. They won’t hesitate to bite off your leg or arm if you get in biting distance.” 

“... A lot of dangerous things here, huh?”

She shrugged. “To you maybe, but that is very mild compared to many of the other animals that live on our planet. You see-” Before she could finish talking, Krolia got tackled by a large beast with dark green fur, claws and fangs. “BASTARD!” She yelled at the creature as she held it back with the handle of her battle axe.

Lance quickly shot an arrow at the beast, but he fumbled slightly and it didn’t stick. He cursed, took a tight hold of an arrow, and quickly ran over and jumped onto the beast. The creature grunted and shook slightly, but otherwise ignored him. Lance firmly gripped the creature’s head and slammed the pointy part of the arrow into the animal’s ear and into its brain.

The creature yelped and jumped off Krolia. It wandered around in a staggered way. Clearly in pain. Krolia quickly threw her battle axe at it and embedded it in the creature’s skull. The animal dropped dead.

Both just stood there in silence for a few ticks before Krolia got up and retrieved her axe. “Um… Thanks for that.”

“No problem… Would hope you’d do the same for me.”

“Yeah…” Things had suddenly become very awkward between them. Krolia was clearly embarrassed by what had just happened. “Um… If you keep your mouth shut about this, I’ll show you some of Yurak’ baby photos.”

Lance grinned. “Hmm? What are you talking about? I was clearly about to get attacked and you saved me from getting killed.”

The corner of Krolia’s mouth twitched into a slight smile. She took out her datapad and started to look through her photos. She pulled up a picture of a very grumpy looking Galra baby in a red jumpsuit. Their face was chubby, but their eyes were full of mischief and anarchy… and possibly arson.

Lance couldn’t help but coo over it. “That’s little baby Yurak? He’s so cute!”

“He was just three deca-phoebs old.” Said Krolia. “He was quite a handful. By his second birthday he had taught himself how to vomit on command to get attention… That and he tried to rip the tendons out of the legs of anyone that walked past him. His baby fangs fell out after about six deca-phoebes.”

“... He’s adorable.” Said Lance. “I want to squish those chubby cheeks of his.”

“His cheeks were chubby in that photo because he stuffed his mouth with couch stuffing.”

“... Baby. And look at how big his paws are, and his ears are so naked!”

“We tend to be relatively bald on most of our bodies until we reach ten deca-phoebes. Isn’t he cute?”

“He’s so adorable. I love him. Babies are so cute! I love them!”

***

While things were progressing well with Yurak and Lance, things were a little more difficult with Shiro and Adam. The distance was still a bit much for them, though they were talking everyday. Shiro was sending small trinkets to Adam. Though he wasn’t sure if he was getting them. He wasn’t too sure what Altea’s customs was like when it came to bones and teeth. Hopefully he could visit him soon. He missed the Altean, and the distance was clearly grating on Adam’s nerves too.

 _“So how is the weather?”_ Adam asked Shiro. They were having what Adam called, a video date. They were both cooking and were going to eat together. It was something Shiro wasn’t used to, mainly the cooking part, but it was interesting.

Shiro was cooking a fish based dish while Adam was cooking a vegetarian based one. “The weather has been very nice. Not too hot and not too cold. How is Altea?”

 _“Winter is coming in a movement.”_ Said Adam as he added chopped vegetables to a pan. _“It’s good weather for couples… Staying inside, sitting by the fire, enjoying warm drinks together…”_

“I hate the cold weather.” Said Shiro. “I always get frost on my tail when I go outside.”

_“Hmm, yes… I have been wondering about your tails.”_

“Yeah?”

_“Why did some of you have them and others don’t?_

Shiro looked down at his tail for a moment before he shrugged and continued to scale his fish. “Tails are a recessive trait. Same with reptilian plates and scales. About 35% of the population has tails… For a few deca-phoebs it was a cosmetic choice to dock the tail of a kit when they were born. It fell out of fashion relatively quickly. Some people still do it, but it’s not the norm here.”

 _“Huh, interesting… I never would have guessed.”_ Adam poured something into the frypan and there was a flash of flames.

“Are you okay there?”

 _“Yeah, I’m good. It’s meant to do that.”_ Adam gently stirred his food around in the pan for a few minutes before he let out a long, sad, sigh.

“... Are you okay?” Asked Shiro quietly.

 _“The distance.”_ He muttered. _“I hate it.”_

“I don’t like it either.” Said Shiro sadly. His ears drooped and Shiro placed the skinned fish into a pot. “I have asked around and I’ve heard word that casual travel might be allowed soon.”

_“How soon is soon?”_

“I don’t know…” Admitted Shiro. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to-”

 _“You haven’t done anything wrong.”_ Assured Adam. _“Alteans prefer their potential partners and lovers to be at arm’s length most of the time. I want to be next to you.”_ Said Adam. _“I want to hold you, touch you, run my fingers through your hair… Just have you around me. I want you. I need you.”_

“I need you too Adam.” Said Shiro quietly. “I didn’t… I want you here with me. I want to go back to Altea… I don’t care where we are, as long as I’m with you… Um, what are you cooking again?”

 _“A simple vegetable dish.”_ Said Adam as he threw a handful of spices into the pan. _“Nothing overly fancy. Just didn’t feel like eating meat tonight. It’s a little salty, but it’s usually eaten with butter and flat bread.”_ Adam held up a round thing. Probably this flat bread he was talking about. _“What about you?”_

“Um… Fish soup.” Said Shiro. “Well, more like a stew… But it um… It’s mostly meat… Some kelp… muscles, clams… It’s also salty.”

Adam chuckled. _“Ah, great minds think alike… You making dessert after this?”_

“Galra don’t taste sweetness the same way Altean’s do.” Said Shiro. “Some of us find that sweetness actually tastes bitter. I happen to be one of those people.”

_“Really?”_

“Yep. Eating fruit is weird. I hated it when I was a kit. I’d always pretend to eat it so my parents would give me meat.” He happily stirred his pot a few times and added a few more spices. “Meat is good.”

 _“Hmm, you do love your meat.”_ Purred Adam. _“I know how much you love Altean meat.”_

Shiro’s fur puffed up at the mention of his appreciation of Adam’s Altean meat. So Shiro may or may not have played around and teased the absolute hell out of Adam when they got together… He might have been damn confident in the sheets once things heated up, but out of the bedroom, Shiro was nervous about sex and Adam was a damn monster. Probably an Altaen thing.

“I um… The food on Altea is very nice.” Said Shiro as he tried to stop his fur from puffing up anymore than it already was. 

Adam chuckled and put a lid on his food. What Shiro was cooking was going to take a little longer than his. _“You know what I mean Shiro… Also, I haven’t quite forgiven you for not warning me that Galra have knots.”_

“I did warn you.” Grumbled Shiro.

_“Yeah, about the first one. Not the second one.”_

“... In my defence I did say knots… Not knot.” He would have mentioned how Adam didn’t seem to mind at all at the time, but he’d probably die of embarrassment if he did.

_“Well… Okay, fair. If animals have knots on our planet it’s just the one. Not two.”_

“... It’s kind of unique to Galra, and some of our evolutionary ancestors.” Muttered Shiro.

_“Why the hell do you need two knots?”_

“To really make sure our partner gets pregnant?” Suggested Shiro. “I’m not sure…”

_“Galra anatomy is strange.”_

“... Your face markings glowed and changed colour for a few ticks when you came.”

_“... Okay, we’re both really weird.”_

Shiro smiled a little. “Yeah, we are… As soon as I know I can visit you I will.”

 _“I’d like that… I wouldn’t mind visiting you either.”_ Said Adam. _“Send me your address soon?”_

“Of course… Um, also, is there some kind of handbook…”

_“Handbook?”_

“Yeah, about Altean courting rituals…”

 _“...”_ Adam chuckled and grinned. _“I’ll send you a children’s textbook.”_

“Thank you.” Said Shiro quietly. “I’ll um… I’ll send you some material about Galra courting too?”

_“Thank you. That would be very nice.”_

Shiro smiled and continued to cook with Adam. If he did send him a textbook, he would copy relevant pages and hand them over to Yurak. Knowing the Duke he would have no idea what he was doing and even if he kind of did, he really, really didn’t. He’d stress himself into some kind of fit if he didn’t get some kind of help.


	119. Rum and Stars (Witch AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance and his old man have a heart to heart. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The place where Lance was sleeping in his papa’s house was perfect for a seal, but not so much for a human. It was a room added onto the relatively small one man fishing shack that was filled with sand. Some of it was damp, but most of it was dry. There were clumps of wet kelp and seaweed in the corners and a few rocks with some barnacles on them. It was… Interesting.

Keith made himself comfortable on the dryer sand. Keith rolled up his outer robe and used that as a pillow. Lance happily made himself comfortable in the damp sand and looked very pleased with himself. He was, once again, a very happy Selkie. He happily looked up at Keith with his big, blue eyes and huffed out his nose.

“... You got something to say?” He asked.

Lance slapped his tail against the sand. “Bragh!”

“Can’t understand you Lance.”

Lance huffed and pulled off his seal skin. “I was asking if you were comfortable. You don’t often sleep on the ground… I don’t think I’ve ever really seen you sleep on the ground.”

“Eh, could be better…” Muttered Keith. “I don’t think your Papa likes me very much…”

Lance shrugged. “My papa is just protective of me. He loves his family a lot and just wants us all to be safe. Selkies and humans haven’t always had the best relationships in the past.”

“Yeah, I’ve read about the domestic abuse and kidnappings…” He muttered.

Lance shrugged again and moved a little closer to him. “Yeah… Selkies really do love humans and enjoy being around them. You’re so different and strange. You’re fun creatures and we all really do like humans… We just… After everything that has happened between our species we are cautious of you.”

“Are you cautious of me?” Asked Keith.

Lance shook his head. “Not really. You’re really nice. You’ve always been nice to me and have always been trying to accommodate for me. Which is really, really nice. Besides, I was the one that came to you. I chose you. I wanted to be your familiar.”

Keith smiled slightly when Lance said that. “Thanks… I can understand why your papa would be worried about you. I mean, Selkies are amazing creatures.”

“Aw, you think I’m amazing.” Cooed Lance as he poked Keith’s cheek.

Keith rolled his eyes and lightly batted Lance’s hand away. “Stop is. You’re pretty amazing, but let’s face it. You kind of just act like a seal, scream and flop around.”

“You say that like it isn’t amazing.” Said Lance with a huff. “I’m pretty sure that lots of humans would love to just be a seal and scream and flop around.”

“Hmm, maybe?” Keith yawned and tried to make himself comfortable enough to sleep. “Well, I'm tired… And I still need to go around and do more stocktake or whatever the hell Shiro wants me to do.”

Lance nodded and pulled his seal skin back on. Once he was back to looking like a seal he snuggled up to Lance’s side and made a very pleased sound. Keith smiled slightly and gently rubbed Lance’s side. He was soft and kind of squishy in this form. It was kind of nice… Though he was kind of damp which Keith wasn’t the biggest fan of. But it was nice enough and Keith quickly fell asleep.

***

Later on that night, Lance woke up when he heard his papa walking around outside the door. Lance very carefully wiggled away from Keith and took off his seal skin to investigate. He walked out and saw his papa looking at bottles of rum in his kitchen.

“Papa?”

The older man looked over at his son and smiled a little. “Ah, Lance mi hijo. Want to sit outside and have a drink with your old man?”

Lance’s eyes lit up. His papa hadn’t offered him alcohol before. “Really? I’m old enough?”

“Yep. Grab the lantern and come with me.”

Lance happily did as he was told and grabbed the lantern. When they got outside his papa lit it and the two of them walked to one of the sandy hills a few feet away from the house. They made themselves comfortable with the lantern between them. Lance smiled happily and watched as his papa drank from the bottle before he passed it to Lance. 

Before his old man said anything, Lance took a huge mouthful and swallowed. “...” Lance coughed and spluttered. “Argh! It burns!”

His old man laughed. “Yeah, I was going to say to pace yourself.”

Lance pouted and put the bottle down. He stuck his tongue out and pouted. “Alcohol is strong…”

“Yeah, it is.” His papa took another mouthful and sighed. “So… You really like him, huh?”

“Keith? Yeah. I like Keith.” Said Lance. “He has been really nice to me ever since I’ve met him.”

“Have you told him about your pearls yet?”

“... I don’t think he needs to know about that.”

“If you trust him then why don’t you tell him?”

Lance shrugged as he pulled his knees up to his chest. “Humans are greedy things. Mama and everyone in the pod has always warned me about the greed of humans… They lure us in with their sweet words and when we’re caught up they will take our seal skins and make us cry to take our pearls…”

“Is that why you haven’t told him about your pearls?”

“A little… Keith has been really nice to me, but if he sees my pearls and gets greedy…” Lance sighed and felt bad. It wasn’t like he didn’t trust Keith, but Lance had grown up with hundreds of horror stories. Humans could be very greedy, and he didn’t want Keith to turn out to be a greedy human. He wanted Keith to stay nice. “B-but papa, you ended up being nice. You didn’t try to keep mama away from us when you found out she could cry pearls.”

The older man sighed and shrugged. “I guess… But remember, I’m not like most humans. I don’t have any need for pearls other than as a reminder of your mother… I miss her… How is she and the rest of the family?” 

Lance grinned. “Mama is doing well. She likes taking care of her grandkids. Sylvio and Nadia are always so happy when they get to play with mama. Luis and Lisa are still going strong and love those pups of theirs… Marco is still single, but he’s enjoying the bachelor life. Veronica is pretty sure she’s a lesbian and kind of almost murdered the beach master last breeding season when he approached her… Rachel still likes annoying sharks by pulling their fins and swimming away.”

“She’s not doing that to whales anymore?”

“Not since she got punted into the air by a very annoyed orca.”

His papa laughed and grinned. “Yeah, that sounds like Rachel… Though she should probably leave the sharks alone. You don’t tangle with them for fun.”

“I know. Mama keeps scolding her for it.” Lance took the bottle of rum and took a small sip. It still burned his throat, but it made him feel warm. “Papa? Why don’t you like wicche’s?”

“... They are greedy.” He said. “They don’t respect nature and are always trying to control it… And that’s not even mentioning forcing magical beings into servitude. You’re not meant to belong to anyone. You belong to the sea, like every other Selkie… Seeing you being forced onto land but him it’s… It’s distressing.”

Lance sighed and sipped the rum some more. It was burning but he did like how warm it made him feel. “Papa, Keith isn’t like that. He hasn’t forced me to do anything I didn’t want to… Well, he has had to drag me out of bed a few times… But that wasn’t so bad. Really… I was just being lazy and he needed help with stuff.”

“Hmm…”

“And he’s so dedicated to his work.” Said Lance. “Keith has ambitions. He wants to perfect his arcane magic stuff… I think he wants to be a Master arcane weapon’s master? I think he would be good at it. He gave me a knife.”

“He gave you a knife?”

“Yeah, it’s small and kind of wonky because it was a practice piece, but I like it… left it at home though…”

“Hmm…” His old man drank some more while Lance sighed and randomly flexed his toes in the soft sand.

“He has really pretty eyes too.”

His papa almost choked on his rum. “E-excuse me?”

Lance shrugged. “Keith has pretty eyes, and his hair is really pretty and dark… It looks soft and reminds me of Veronica’s hair when it’s dry.” He sighed and sipped some more rum. “Keith’s eyes just light and glow a little when he casts magic. It’s so pretty… I like watching Keith work. I could watch him for hours, even if he isn’t really doing anything.” He sighed. “Papa, I think I really like Keith… Like, I think I like-like him, but I’m scared because of the stories… What do you think papa?”

The older man thought for a moment, took a quick swing from the rum bottle, then took a much longer, slower drink. He easily put away half the bottle by himself. “... So you’re gay?”

“Um… I like girls too.” Said Lance quietly. “I just think Keith is really, really pretty and I like how pretty he is…”

“Okay… Well, you might not actually like him. You might just like how he looks.” Said his papa. “Just… Just think about it. You don’t really know too much about this Keith guy, do you? You’re probably just crushing on him… Also Selkies tend to like pretty things, right? You and Rachel fought for an hour over those abalone shells.”

“They were pretty and I saw them first!” Whined Lance. He sighed loudly and lied back in the sand. The stars looked nice this evening. “... I think Keith is pretty and he’s amazing… Why did you fall for mama?”

“Well… When I first saw you mama, she was wearing her seal skin and sunning herself. I’ve always liked seals… She looked like she had some fishing line wrapped around her fin. It took a bit of time and some coaxing on my part, but she let me free her and didn’t try to bite me. It was nice.” He sighed. “Took a bit of time before she took off her seal skin and showed me she was a selkie. She was a cute seal, but she was a stunning woman.”

“... Keith looks stunning to me.”

“Just be careful around him.” Said his papa. “Lance, you’re a very trusting young man, and you’re easily infatuated with things… I personally don’t trust Keith and the insatiable greed of wicches. I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re mi hijo. I want you to live a safe and happy life. You being taken from the ocean, your home… Even if it is your choice, it’s a horrible thing.”

Lance shrugged. “I know papa… But please be nice to Keith. He has been nothing but nice to me ever since I’ve met him. Keith is a good man.”

“If he was such a good man you wouldn’t be worried about your pearls.”

“... I’ll tell him soon. I um… I just want to make sure he’s not the kind of guy that will steal my skin and lock me away when he gets greedy.” He said quietly. Lance pointed up at the stars. “Papa? What’s that constellation?”

He looked up and squinted his eyes. “Hmm? Ah, the Sea Wyvern. With its arms outstretched they are always flying North. One of the only dragons that help fishermen. That dragon.”

For the next few hours the two McClains shared the bottle of rum while talking about the constellations. Lance enjoyed listening to his papa talk on and on about the stars. His papa could navigate using them. It was second nature. Lance could do it too, but not nearly as well as his papa.

When the rum bottle had run empty and the lantern had started to flicker, the two of them went back inside. His papa heading to his bed, and Lance going back to his sandy room. Keith was still asleep on the soft, dry sand. It made Lance smile as he walked over to him and kneeled down next to him. Keith looked peaceful when he slept. He’d never seen Keith sleeping when they were back home. Lance couldn’t be bothered to climb up to Keith’s loft when he was asleep.

Lance smiled and pulled on his seal skin before he snuggled up next to Keith. Keith was warm and he liked it. Keith was so nice and warm. Probably because he was a fire wicche. That was good. At least Lance knew he wouldn’t get cold any time soon. He closed his eyes when he felt Keith move next to him, and Keith had thrown his arm over him. Lance made a small happy noise and snuggled a little closer to his wicche. He really, really liked Keith.


	120. Campfire (Monster and manna AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pike still doesn't like Bolt, and everyone out of game is trying to figure out how to make them get along in an organic way. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Bolt had quickly proven himself to be an ally during a fight. More than once the elemental had managed to bring down lightning on their foes. Block had taken up trying to teach Bolt how to play fetch. Bolt just sat there and look at him like he was stupid. Meklavar and Valayun happily patted and combed the elemental wolf’s fur. Bolt seemed to like sniffing Shiro’s weapons when he was cleaning them, and Bolt curled up next to Thundar while he was sleeping.

In other words… Pike was not happy.

He didn’t trust Bolt as far as he could drop him off a cliff and into an abyss. But the repulsive mutt made Thundar happy, and if it made his boyfriend happy… Pike was still pissed off at it. Dogs were the bane of his existence.

During some down time where everyone was just sitting around mending their weapons, armor, or cooking. Pike was keeping an eye on Bolt who was sniffing Shiro’s shield. That mutt was plotting something. Thundar sat by Pike and lightly nudged his arm.

“Something wrong?” He asked.

“Not really… I really don’t like Bolt.” He muttered. “I know that you like him and he is yours but… He really, really freaks me out…”

“Oh…” Thundar frowned and pulled his knees up to his chin. “I’m sorry… I just… We bonded… I didn’t realise that Womblax hated dogs so much…”

Pike shrugged. “It’s an instinctual thing… The ancestors of Womblax and dogs in general have never really been on good terms. So it’s kind of more like I am worried Bolt will turn on me or turn on us and… Well not only is that a dog, but it’s an electric elemental. Like, what the fuck man? I feel like it’s going to bark and electrocute me!”

Thundar chuckled a little. “You don’t have to worry about that. He doesn’t bark lightning.”

“Somehow that doesn’t make me feel better…”

“...” Thundar gently held Pike’s hand and gently squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry. I’ll try and keep Bolt away from you, though he does kind of like everyone…” 

Pike looked over at Bolt and saw that the animal was now trying to see what Block was cooking. “I guess… Well, he likes you guys, but not me. No way I am spending any alone time with something that was essentially a predator to my ancestors…”

“Right…” Thundar rested his head against Pike’s shoulder. “Pike… I’m sorry about taking Bolt in without asking you about it first…”

“It’s fine babe. I know how much Bolt means to you. I’m not upset about him being here with you because you two have bonded. I’m just… I’m just going to be a little cautious around him. Okay?”

“Okay…” Thundar still seemed a little down about it. Which Pike did not like. 

He wanted to get along with Bolt, but they were… They were a damn dog. A dog and they were… Dogs were mean and smelly. They slobbered and sniffed butts. They were icky and gross and mean. They also had big teeth and liked to bite things. He didn’t want to get bitten by that thing. He was damn sure that giant dog would bite his tail and that would be the end of his perfectly beautiful, well looked after tail. It was one of his best features. Top five. The other in no particular order were; his ears, face, body, and of course his dick.

***

Coran hummed a little as he leaned back in his seat. “So… It seems that Pike really disliked Bolt… Is there anyway that Bolt and Pike could get along? This rift could eventually cause a lot of tension in the group.”

Lance shrugged. “I need to read up a bit more on the history of Womblax and canines.”

Pidge rolled their eyes as they looked through their datapad. “Thought I told you to read up on it before we played this session.”

“We kind of got attacked by two fleets of Zarkon’s troops two days in a row.” Said Lance. “I kind of forgot.”

“That’s reasonable.” Said Hunk. He quickly sent Lance a link. “Here. This is a link to the Womblax, Ulinine wars. It’ll help you flesh out your reasoning for not liking dogs.”

“Thanks man.” Lance quickly opened the link and quickly looked through the PDF file. Looked like there was some discrepancy over gods or something. Perfect, now Lance had to look over religion too.

Pidge’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Ah! I got something! Womblax have been known to become friends with domesticated wolves or dogs in general if they are saved by a dog or are around them for long enough.”

Allura hummed a little as she thought this over. “So, either Bolt saves Pike somehow, or Pike is just around Bolt long enough for him to get used to them?”

Coran thought for a moment and nodded. “Alright, Lance I’m going to need you to read over what Hunk sent you and once you’ve figured out exactly why you specifically dislike dogs then I can come up with a way for Pike and Bolt to become friendly… And depending on what we think is the best way to go about it, we might need to talk to you about this Keith.”

Keith shrugged. “Okay…” He looked over at Lance and narrowed his eyes. “I swear if you get Bolt killed I will kill your character.”

“A little extreme… But okay I guess?” Lance didn’t want his character to die, and he wanted Bolt to die either. Bolt was a cool character, but his character really didn’t like him.

Pidge snickered. “Better start rolling up a new character just in case.” 

Lance pouted. “I/m not going to try and kill Bolt or get Bolt killed.”

Coran cleared his throat. “Anyway, back to the game. Now you’re all still around the campfire just enjoying your time getting ready to continue on… Does anyone want to do some more talking, or shall we just skip ahead to the next day?”

“I want to gossip a bit with Block.” Said Pidge.

***

Meklavar made her way back to the camp with all their waterskins refilled and ready for use. She happily handed them out and sat next to Block. Block had her help him cut up some vegetables to put in the pot.

“Man, I can’t wait until we get to Corinwern.” Said Block. “It’s like, meant to be another big dwarf city, right? Maybe you can get some information on that crystal you’re after?”

“Hopefully. Corinwern has a huge library.” She looked over at Pike and Thundar. The couple was being all… couply. “... So, what do you think of those two?”

Block shrugged. “They are happy together. Pike’s made Thundar more sociable and Thundar’s made Pike less… stealy… He hasn’t tried to take any coins off of us.”

“That is a good thing…” Muttere Meklavar. “But Shiro has been trying really hard to try and make sure that they aren’t going down on each other.”

Block shook his head and stirred the pot. “True, but it’s kind of Shiro’s religion? Like, I know he’s trying not to force it on us or anything, but he does have a few hangups about some stuff…”

“True. Oh well.” She drank some water and looked at the couple again. “... How long until they do it?”

“They probably already have.”

“... Gross. But probably true.” She muttered. “... You got enough healing spells?”

“Why would I need them?”

“You think either of them know shit about sex stuff? Thundar has been living in the forest for pretty much his whole life… And Pike is a degenerate heathen.” Said Meklavar calmly. “Someone’s going to end up with wizard crabs. Those bastards cast fireball all the time.”

“How would you know?”

“My brother was a very promiscuous kind of guy.”

“... Alright.” Block tapped the side of the side of the pot. “Okay guys, dinner time! Soup is rea-”

***

Suddenly an alarm went off and Allura quickly got up. “Ah, sorry Paladins. That would be the coalition call I was waiting for.” She quickly looked through her datapad as she walked out of the room. “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to cut this short. Until next time!”

“I’ll be right with you Princess!” Called Coran. He quickly put his notes away. “Now remember, we’re on our way to Corinwern. Lance, read over the history of the Womblax and we’ll talk later.” He followed Allura out of the room and headed to the bridge.

“Well I think that went well.” Said Shiro. He stood up and stretched. “Okay guys. M&M is fun, but time to do some training.”

Pidge pouted. “Seriously?”

“Yes Pidge. Get a move on.”

Pidge whined and got up. Hunk begrudgingly followed her. Keith and Lance lagged behind. Lance was reading over this history of the Womblax. Keith looked over his shoulder as they walked. 

“... You’re really into this, huh?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Well, everyone is really into this and I want to play my character well… It’s something we’re all doing to have a good time, right?”

Keith smiled at him. He quickly glanced around before he quickly kissed Lance on the cheek. “Thanks. I really appreciate it… Also if you kill Bolt I will set fire to your room.”

“Fair.” Lance didn’t care that Keith threatened him. He got a cute little kiss from his adorable boyfriend.


	121. The Facility (Monster AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for more chaos and junk and stuff. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Insects had never really been Honerva’s cup of tea. She was more into biochemistry. That was her wheelhouse. However, she did have a side interest in diseases and parasites that infect insects. She couldn’t help it. She had been fascinated ever since she saw a whipworm violently escape out of a cricket’s body. It was disgusting, but fascinating. 

Eventually her profession and personal interests led her down the path to where she was now… Working alongside some sadistic asshole that was currently carving chunks of meat off of the Generator’s body. Lance’s body. He had to dip the knife in an enzyme solution to promote cell growth in his body. 

It was an interesting experiment, and had approval from the higher ups. Lance’s mother did protest, but she was overruled and Sendak was more than happy to personally do this. He could rip into Lance over and over again and he wouldn’t die. His body was repairing itself too quickly.

“Don’t you have enough meat yet?” She asked.

“Why? He’s too drugged up to give a fuck.”

“You have more than enough meat to fill a room. You’re just being sadistic now.”

“... Whatever.” Sendak hacked off a bit more thigh meat and dropped it off into a bucket. “There. I’m done.” He grabbed his bucket and left.

Honerva rolled her eyes and looked over at Lance. The meat on his leg was almost completely healed already. His body was truly a work of wonder. It was something she could study for hours. When he had healed, Honerva checked his vital signs and was pleased to see that everything was fine.

She left Lance in the hands of capable nurses and doctors that were watching over him and headed back to their laboratory several floors above where Lance was being housed. She wasn’t surprised to see Benita hunched over a microscope with dozens of sample slides on one side and a pen in her other hand as she scribbled things down into her notepad.

“... How are you holding up?” She asked.

Benita didn’t bother looking up at her. “My son is drugged out of his mind getting his muscles carved off his body like it’s nothing… I bet if that sadist was allowed to he’d stick Lance up on a meat hook and carve away.”

“He probably would.” Muttered Honerva. “Sendak is an asshole… How is your family? Do they still believe that Lance is…?”

“Yes. They all still think he tried to commit suicide.” She muttered. “Do you have any idea how heartbreaking that was? Rachel was crying all night when I had to tell her. Everyone has been so upset and worried about him. My husband is stressed and a lot more distant now. Everyone wants to see him back home again…”

“Yeah…” Muttered Honerva. She sighed and shook her head. “What are you going to do when they want to visit him? There’s only so much we can do. Lance is staying here indefinitely now and-”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Snapped Benita. She glared at Honerva with tears running down her cheeks. “I’m going to have to lie and say that he killed himself… It’s going to crush everyone… I… I’m an unfit mother… How could I just allow this-?”

“The contract.” Said Honerva calmly. “You signed the contract. You know that it has an addendum that if required, any children conceived while working on the project could be used as material if required. We all knew that any boys conceived would be used for the project. It was just a fluke that you ended up with fraternal twins and not two girls like you expected… I would have to have given up Lotor if…” She sighed. “This is going to sound cruel, but you can’t think of him as your son anymore. He’s research material.”

“I know… I know…” She sniffled a little and wiped her tears away. “Can you have a look at this sample? It’s a little strange. I think the enzymes we’re dipping the blades in are tainting the samples.”

“Hmm? How so?” Honerva looked at the sample under the microscope and was a little surprised to see the way the cells interacted. It was very similar to the cells in K-P1’s body. It was interesting. She hadn’t been able to get many samples from Lance during the time period he was with Sendak’s monster. “Hmm, well he has been getting eaten a lot… Maybe his body is evolving because of all the damage it’s taking?”

“I sure hope not…” Muttered Benita. “Remember the rats? They swelled in size with almost cancerous growths all over their bodies…”

“To be fair I think that’s part of the fungus we created this from in the first place.” She said. “... Though we should probably consider getting a pure sample to compare it too. We’re almost out of that fungus.”

“You think that will get approved?”

“If Sendak can get approval to fill several tubs full of chunks of your son’s meat and organs, I think they will allow us to get a mushroom.”

“Yeah…” She sighed and stood up. “Fuck it. I’m stressed. I’m going out for a smoke.”

“I thought you quit when you got pregnant with your twins?”

She shrugged and got up from the desk. “I don’t care. I’m a shitty human. If Lance ever finds out what I’ve done he’ll never forgive me…” She walked past her and left the room for a smoke break.

Honerva shook her head. Benita had a big heart and was very worried when she found out she was pregnant. Hell, Honerva knew that fear. They had fallen pregnant around the same time and neither of them were really keen in having a boy. When Honerv found out she was having a boy everyone instantly sympathised with her. They all knew what that meant for the baby. Benita was told that one of her babies was a girl, but it was hard to tell the gender of her second child because of the way they were scrunched up. Everyone assumed Honerva would have to give up her baby.

Then Benita’s baby moved. They were male. A boy and a girl. Both instantly became filled with dread since it was now a race to see who would give birth first. The stress of it all caused Benita to go into labour a week earlier than her predicted due date. She had been racked with guilt ever since. She knew some of the side effects their drug would have on a mammal. She was still upset that her son’s pain receptors were completely destroyed. But it was all part of their failsafe. Just in case the Pupa escaped. If the Pupa never escaped then Lance would have lived a relatively normal life, minus feeling pain. Something that could be passed off as CIPA.

She looked down at Benita’s notes. The poor woman’s notes were all scribbly and stained with some tears. She was really upset and torn about everything… But Benita needed to put that aside. They were making breakthroughs. They needed to do this.

Though Honerva was very interested in how Lance’s body was changing. They had made many generators before, but Lance was the first human one. She was kind of hopeful that Lance would start to change and mutate into something else. That would be beautiful.

***

Benita made it to the smoking area outside and stood in the blind spot. It was dusk. She didn’t need more people seeing her cry her eyes out. She was a failure. She tried so hard to protect Lance. When she found out that the experiment had escaped she couldn’t help but be more protective of Lance that day. She assumed he would come home straight away, like usual. but when he was taken to the hospital… She knew this was the beginning of the end.

She had to stand back and report what Lance was doing. She noted his more reclusive nature, his sudden aversion to meat, and how he was lying about hanging out with his friends after school. She noted that the meat eating might be psychological in nature since no other animals seemed to change their dietary habits. He was slowly becoming more sickly. She didn’t know why. She wanted to cry.

She heard something crumble and something that felt like small rocks fell on her head. She dusted some dirt off her shoulder, when she heard a deep rumbling above her. “Don’t look up.” They warned. 

Benita froze as a chill ran up her spine. She had a good idea of what was above her. She almost wanted to laugh. From all the small experiments they had done with rats, the Generator’s and Pupa couldn’t be separated once they had found each other. If she died now she would deserve it.

“You’re Lance’s mama.” Said the creature quietly. “I know. You smell a bit like him. You have the scent of a mother. His mother.”

“Y-yes.” She said quietly. “Lance is my son…”

“I want him back.”

“I know. It’s in your nature.” Said Benita.

“My nature?”

‘Yes.” She said quietly. “I don’t know much about you, but I know enough. You ate my son’s flesh. The DNA that makes up most of your body can eat anything organic to survive, but your natural food source, the thing that you’re naturally meant to eat… Lance’s body is full of it. It floods your body with endorphins and opiorphin. You’re addicted to eating him already and you don’t even know it.”

“... I still want Lance.” They said. “He has been nice to me and I don’t want him to get hurt in this place… I know mother’s hurt their children but I-”

“Mother’s don’t hurt their children.” Said Benita. “A mother loves and protects their child.”

“... Oh… I guess she just hates me…” They sighed. “Anyway, I’m here for Lance. Where is he?”

“I’m not handing my child over to you.” She said calmly. “I might not have been a good mother, but I won’t let you feed off of him for the rest of his life.”

“I’m not trying to hurt him.” They said. “I cared for him as much as he cared for me… I made sure he was comfortable. I asked if I could eat him before I did. Lance is so nice. He made sure I wasn’t hungry and I… I left so that he didn’t have to live with me eating him anymore. I’m a monster. I want Lance to be happy. He can’t be happy if he is here, right?”

“... He’s been drugged out of his mind. With the way his body is working I wouldn’t be surprised if it will eventually stop working as his body just rapidly repairs itself and filters any medication we give him…” She confessed. “He’s going to realise where he is soon and he’s… He’s going to hate me… Are you going to kill me?”

The monster above her was quiet. “No. Lance said he has many brothers and sisters. I don’t feel right about killing you… I think he really loves you.”

“If he knew the truth he wouldn’t…” She muttered.

“I still want Lance.”

“If you do this they will hunt you both down.”

“I’ll protect him.” They said sternly. “I’ll protect him from them. We will go somewhere safe.”

Benita frowned. She didn’t know what to do. She shouldn’t get Lance out of there no matter how hard she tried. She’d get into trouble and she didn’t know what they would do to her, or Lance. This monster was her best chance at freeing her son.

“... He’s being kept on the same floor where they kept you. Please, take him away from this place… And tell him I’m sorry I couldn’t protect him.”

“Okay… stay outside. The last time I was here I didn’t discriminate who I killed.” She heard the monster slowly climbing back up the building.

When things became quiet she looked up. There were claw marks all over the side of the building. It seemed like the monster was going to go through the ventilation system. It was amazing, the Pupa was surprisingly soft and malleable. It could wriggle and squeeze into most places like a worm. It reminded her of most insect larvae. They were always much softer and much bigger than their adult counterpart. She wondered if the pupa was actually just a pupa and soon going to become an adult… and if it became an adult, what would its final form be?

***

The drugs had pretty much worn off by now and Lance had no idea what to do. He was too scared to try and move. If he did, he didn’t know what would happen. He didn’t know where he was or what would happen to him if he showed that he was conscious. 

There was an odd tingling sensation in his legs. He already knew it was from whatever that Sendak guy was doing to him. Yeah, he knew Sendak was taking flesh off his legs, but he didn’t really care. The meat on his legs was growing back rapidly and he didn’t feel any pain, so it was whatever. However his legs were tingling. It was uncomfortable.

He felt like he was probably being monitored, but his legs just felt weird. When he couldn’t take it anymore he reluctantly sat up and went to scratch at his legs. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling itchy. He didn’t really have the nerve endings to feel itching or pain at all.

He looked down at his legs and froze slightly. Sure his legs did look like human legs, but they didn’t look exactly normal. There was something just a little off about them. Were they… Maybe there was some weird muscle definition going on? He wasn’t sure.

Lance sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. What was he meant to do now? How the hell was he meant to escape? Could he even escape? … Actually, did he even have pants? He slipped his hand under the thin, hospital grade sheets and found that he was just wearing a hospital gown. No pants or underwear. Perfect.

He sighed and lied back down. This was just not his day. Fuck, this was not his week. He shivered as that weird tingling, itching sensation slowly starting to creep up his spine and settle between his shoulder blades and the back of his neck.

He couldn’t help it. He needed to scratch. He dug his nails into the back of his neck and started to scratch to try and relieve that itch. It didn’t really help much. He needed more relief. He didn’t understand why he wasn’t getting relief. It sucked.

“Need help there?” Asked Honerva.

Lance jumped a little when he saw her standing by the doorway. She was smiling kindly at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. They were cold. Then again Lance’s head was still a little groggy from the drugs that were still getting pumped into his body.

“... Why am I here?” He muttered.

Honerva shrugged. “Well, if you want an honest answer… You’re a failed experiment. To simplify everything, you were given an experimental drug since you were a baby. It fried your pain receptors and gave you the appearance of CIPA.”

“... So, what? Why am I here? Why did you do this to me?”

She sighed and walked over to him. “Well, you’re a fail safe. In the case that the pupa escapes you’re meant to make him slow down enough so we can capture him. You didn’t capture him. You actually gave us some interesting results. We expected that K-P1 would keep you wherever they were living after the second time you two met up. We kind of expected that K-P1 would find a way to keep you in place while he fed on you… It’s surprising that he decided to let you go, and even more surprising that you would keep going back to him. Why is that?”

Lance frowned slightly and nervously played with his IV drip. “I… I don’t know… he just… Keith makes pheromones when he’s hungry. I can smell when he’s hungry and I… I go to him and I can’t resist him.”

Honerva seemed a little surprised. “Interesting, so it really is pheromones… Well, that confirms that theory… Tell me, what part of you does he eat?”

“...”

“... Done talking for now huh?” Asked Honerva, when she didn’t get a response she walked over to him and took out his IV drip. “No point in keeping this in. Your body is metabolizing everything we are giving you way too quickly. We’ll come back and give you something to eat. Your body is metabolizing everything extremely quickly. We’re going to put you on a diet of slow burning foods along with foods with high protein and fats.”

“Okay…”

Honerva sighed and crossed her arms. “Look, I know you’re not happy about this, but you being part of this experiment was decided long before you were conceived. All the women that work on project pupa or the enzyme experiment have to sign wavers… Sometimes we need human test subjects, and it’s easier to grow our own then try to source them from other places. More ethical.”

Lance nodded along, his head was still foggy and the weird itching sensation moved to his gums. “So… So my mama…”

“Is the lead for the sister experiment to Project Pupa. If it’s any consolation, she’s very torn up about this and is practically inconsolable. If K-P1 was never released then you would have lived a normal life as a normal human. The enzymes in his saliva activated your body’s rapid regeneration response and now that it has been activated, you can’t go back.”

This was a huge shock to him. Lance had always thought that his mama worked as a cleaning lady for them, and her pay was so good because she had to clean up some semi hazardous chemicals. He didn’t know what was going on. How could his mother do that? Were any of his other siblings involved with this? Did his papa know?

Honerva sighed and headed to the door. “I know this is hard for you, but don’t feel too upset. With any luck we will have K-P1 back in captivity. The field test experiment is over.”

Lance frowned. “Filed test…? Did you let Keith out?” He asked. “Were you the ones that let Keith out and make him think he escaped?!”

Honerva looked over her shoulder at him. Her smile and cold, emotionless eyes chilled Lance to his core. “The higher ups wanted a field test. They wanted to see how K-P1 would react out in the wild and how they would react with the fail safe. You and K-P1 have given us vital data. So thank you Lance, for your contribution to the advancement of the human race.” She left the room.

Lance’s head was spinning. This was too much information to process all at once. His whole life had pretty much been a lie. He was just a small part to the much larger experiment that was Keith. He still didn’t know what Keith’s purpose was meant to be. Was he a weapon? He had to have been with the way he acted. Lance groaned in frustration and clutched his head. His whole mouth was hurting. It was hurting so much that he couldn’t even swallow anymore. For possibly the first time in his life he was pretty sure he was experiencing pain. 

He could smell something sweet.

***

Crawling through air vents sucked, but Keith figured that it was the easiest way to get down to the right level to get Lance. He paused for a moment when he reached the end of the vent. It led to an elevator shaft.

He took a moment to pause and think through this decision. He was back in some place he never expected to be again, and all for Lance. Was this really the best choice to make? He still wanted to go to the island. It felt right to go there, and if he really wanted to, maybe he could have tried his hand at swimming? Was Lance really worth this?

He thought back to the time he had spent with Lance. Sure it might not have meant anything to Lance, hell, he was sure it didn’t mean anything to him, but it meant everything to Keith. All that kindness, and the fact he kept willingly coming back to him… Even warned him about what was going on… Lance was worth it. He’d take Lance out of this place and then to wherever he wanted to go.

Keith managed to push the vent grate off and watched it fall down the void of the elevator shaft. He slowly climbed out and started the long descent down the elevator shaft via the extremely small ladder. It wasn’t difficult for Keith to figure out which floor he needed to go to. He had memorised the scent of his own home. He shivered at that thought. This place, no matter how much he hated it, it was his home It was where he was born, where he was raised… but not where he was going to die.

He forced the elevator doors open and was welcomed by the sterile, white walls. He hated white. He was sick of it. The only acceptable white was the white of bones. He started to walk down the hallways and quickly found a familiar hallway. One he had walked down a dozen times before. The hallway to his room. The room he had lived his entire life in.

He walked to the door and placed his hand on it. So many memories contained in one room. His first steps, his first words, his first beating… Lots of firsts in that room. Hopefully he wouldn’t ever experience more things in there. If he could go back in time he might tell his child self that things will get better one day. He wouldn’t stay in that box forever. He could escape and see the world beyond this place. If he knew that back then it might have made things so much easier for himself growing up.

A horrified gasp made Keith quickly turn around. Some scientist was standing at the end of the hallway. Their eyes locked for a second, and he bolted for it. Keith growled and quickly took chase. The man didn’t get too far before Keith pounced on him. Even in his human form Keith was a formidable foe and easily tore into the man’s back. He had been hunting and killing his food for years. He knew just where to bite and dig to cause the quickest death possible.

He pulled out several vertebrae in the man’s neck with a crunch. He savoured the fresh taste of human blood. It had been a while since he had eaten humans. He had been more concerned with finding a place to live in peace away from humans. But now he had that delicious red liquid running down his throat… He almost couldn’t control himself. He wanted more. More meat. More flesh. More blood.

He took a few more bites out of the man before he heard a woman scream. He looked up to see several of those scientists staring at him in horror. Keith growled at them and his first instinct was to protect his food getting stolen. But that clearly wasn’t what these humans wanted when he felt something graze past his cheek.

He looked over to see a man dressed in that stupid uniform he quickly came to loath. Keith growled at them. He needed to stop seeing them as people that were trying to steal his food. These people stole his food. In fact, they stole something precious from him. They stole Lance and he wanted him back.

Beneath Keit’;s skin he could feel the monster inside just itching to get out. There was no way Keith would deny that side of himself for a second longer. He sprinted towards the man with force. His monster form splittin his skin and bulged out as he ran. There was no human alive that could stand a chance against him when he looked like this. He could really let loose. All he needed to do was point himself in the direction of something moving and he would turn it into a red stain in the hallway.

While this was fun to an extent, Keith still had a mission. He needed to find Lance. Through the smell of human blood he was able to pick up the faint hint of Lance. He growled deeply in his chest and followed that faint scent until it became overwhelming.

It was behind a door. He tried to push it open, but it was some stupid sliding door that was locked tight. He snarled and continued to try and force the door open. He needed to get Lance. After one particularly hard hit there was a small click and the door opened.

Keith quickly ran inside the white room and expected to see Lance, instead he saw a sizable pile of meat in the middle of the room. He frowned slightly and cautiously approached it, sniffing the air as he did so. It smelled just like Lance, but there was too much meat for it to come from one person. Yet it still smelled like Lance… Maybe it was Lance? He’d just have a little taste.

He reached out to grab a piece, but before he could grab some the door behind him slammed shut and the speaker system crackled back to life. It made Keith jump in shock. He quickly went over to the door and tried to force it open, but he couldn’t. It was stuck fast.

 _“Congratulations K-P1.”_ Said Sendak. _“You far exceeded our expectations. As a reward you can eat as much meat as you like. If that’s not enough then we can get you more.”_

A chill ran down Keith’s spine. He was getting a reward? Lance’s flesh was his reward? When he escaped, was it what Sendak wanted? No, he didn’t escape. They had set him free. They had let him out to see what he would do. He had never been free. How much of it was real and how much of it was fake? Had everyone been manipulating him from the beginning? Had Shiro manipulated him into coming back? Was Lance even here?

Was Lance even on his side? Maybe Lance had been a part of this experiment from the start? It might explain why Lance was always so calm. He knew what was going on. Somehow Lance was in on this. He had to be. Once again he’d just been used by everyone else.

 _“What’s wrong?”_ Snarled Sendak over the speakers. _“Not good enough for you? Have you gotten picky after being outside? Do you want to starve?”_

“L… Lance…” Rasped Keith. He hasn’t vocalised more than grunts and growls in his monster form. This was the first time he vocalised anything like this. “Want… Lance…”

There was a long pause before Sendak started laughing. _“Figures. You’re only interested in eating something you kill yourself. You’re a monster, not some kind of scavenger. This kind of food doesn’t even look like food to you, does it? I’ll see what I can do for you.”_

The speakers cut out as Sendak started to bark orders at someone else. Keith felt betrayed and needed to confront Lance about it. If he didn’t like Lance’s answer he doubted that Lance would come back if he completely devoured every part of his body from head to toe. Every part of him would be destroyed and Keith would never open up to anyone ever again.


	122. Dreamwork (HolyHell AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for Keith to try and be sneaky and invade Lance's dreams! He has mixed results! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The evening was kind of warm, but Lance didn’t mind. He liked it. He sat outside on his porch and drank a beer. He thought a little bit about what Keith was doing. Sure he was a good looking guy, and if Lance wasn’t so committed to his life choices, he might consider fooling around with a dangerous biker type… But here he was, he was a Pastor.

He closed his eyes as he leaned back in his rickety old chair and sighed in frustration. Keith cleaned up really well. He looked so damn hot with the way he dressed and he looked cute with his hair pulled back like that. Lance shook his head and finished his beer before he went inside.

He knew what was happening. He was starting to think impure thoughts. He knew it was a dumb thing to think about, even if it was natural. Keith was attractive and so very tempting. He almost laughed at how cliche it all seemed as he walked into the bathroom. Keith, a bad boy biker, and Lance, the religious good boy. With the way that this song and dance went, either he’d bring Keith to the light of the Lord or Keith would pull him down into his depraved world.

Neither of which Lance really cared for… Even if it was kind of exciting to think about how exciting it would be to get corrupted by Keith in every way. Keith’s rough hands holding him down as he talked dirty to him, and fucked him hard into the mattress or whatever surface he was pressed against. Lance wasn’t fussed.

He shuddered a little at the thought and took care of himself in the shower. Yeah, maturbating was frowned upon, but he considered it the lesser of two evils when his choices were this and sex.

When he was done gratifying and cleaning himself, he got out, dressed in an old oversized shirt and his boxers. It was time for bed. He said a quick prayer and got into bed. He wondered if he would see Keith tomorrow? More than likely. He seemed to like to annoy him and tease him and tempt him… Keith was way too tempting for his own good.

“... Damn it.” Lance rolled onto his side and glared at the wall. This was annoying. He was lusting after Keith. He’d deal with it tomorrow. He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. It was a frustrating feeling and Lance didn’t like it. Curse Keith and how tempting he was.

Lance was gonna have to do a lot of praying tomorrow and reading his bible. His eyes were going to fall out of his head by the end of this. Also it would definitely kill his libido. Nothing killed a libido faster than religious texts. He was going to read Judges. Arguably one of the most boring chapters in the whole bible.

***

It was close to midnight when Keith was skulking outside of Lance’s house. He was kind of nervous. He hadn’t done anything like this before. Dream manipulation wasn’t his thing. He’d usually just rely on his looks and bad boy charm to get laid. It had worked well for years. It was easy enough to slide up next to some sexy buff guy and pout a little or he’d walk confidently past some twink and buy him a drink. Sadly, neither of these things worked with Lance. He hated this.

Keith eventually found an unlocked window and crawled inside. Immediately the air around him felt heavy and humid. It was the grotesque and familiar feeling of religious undertones. He looked around the room he was in. It looked like a lounge room. There was a statue of the virgin Mary on a bookshelf. It made Keith cringe, but mostly because of how shitty the paint job on it was. Seriously she looked more like some kind of insect person that was staring at both walls.

He rolled his eyes and carefully walked through the house. It was quiet. All he could hear was the tick of a clock and the slight dripping of a tap in the kitchen. Keith went into the kitchen and quickly shut that off. If there was one thing that Keith hated it was stupid noises like that. Also, there was religious paraphernalia in every damn room! If it wasn’t some statue of a saint it was a statue of baby Jesus or a crucifix.

There was a damn crucifix with Jesus hanging off it in the kitchen for crying out loud! Keith never understood these ones. Like, a normal crucifix was like, whatever. Appropriate one of the worst forms of torture in the world for your religion, but why have a body on it? Why was it seen as a good thing? He would never understand it.

He very carefully made his way to the bedroom and paused in the doorway. Lance was sleeping peacefully in his bed. He looked so nice and peaceful. He kind of wished he wasn’t wearing some sleep mask thing though. He’d much rather see what Lance’s face looked like when he was sleeping without the mask.

If Keith was a weaker demon he would just climb up on top of Lance and take him then and there, but that really wasn’t his style. He hadn’t really tried manipulating the dreams of humans before. It was a difficult thing to do.

He had to concentrate and have a good imagination to keep an illusionary dream going. And, if Keith was honest, he wasn’t very good at either of those. Shiro was a lot better at this kind of thing and did give him a quick crash course in what to do, but Keith was still very, very iffy about it. He needed to dedicate all his energy to this, so using his energy to hide his demonic form was pointless.

He let his soft human features fall away completely. He stretched his wings and let his tail unfurl. It had been a while since he had been a while since he had done something like this. He took the time to quickly look at himself in the mirror. He looked a lot like a gargoyle. At least that’s what everyone else in the gang said. Mostly meant if they were doing something specific Keith was the involuntary lookout. Especially on really old buildings.

The scales on his body were dark purple and maroon in colour. The tip of his tail was shaped like a spade. His horns were small, but he was still a young adult. There was still more room for them to grow. He hoped they would get bigger. His eyes were the brightest yellow and his pupils were slitted like cats eyes.

He walked over to Lance’s bed and crouched down next to him. He still looked really pretty. However he didn’t know what he was meant to do from here. He needed to remember what Shiro said to him about how to do this.

_“Remember, it’s important to be yourself, and I mean it literally.”_ He said. _“Make sure they are really asleep and initiate contact. Start off with something like a light hand touch. You can’t be too quick. If you’re too eager you’ll wake them up. Go slowly.”_

Keith very carefully reached out and gently touched Lance’s wrist. Now that he made contact he needed to concentrate. He took a few deep breaths as he felt a light tickling of another’s consciousness in his mind. He had a foothold in Lance’s mind

_“Once you have a foothold in his mind you can ease yourself in. Slowly. Patience yields focus. Don’t rush into it or he will wake up, and you’ll have even more problems to deal with.”_

Keith closed his eyes and let his mind dwell on that foothold. It wasn’t that strong, but the more he probed it with his own mind the stronger it became. 

_“You’ll eventually have a clearer picture of what they are imagining in your mind. After that you can climb on top of him and pin him down. He’ll be completely stuck in his dream state by now. Try not to sit on his chest. He won’t be able to breath really well. Okay?”_

Keith very carefully climbed on top of Lance and very carefully, but firmly sat on his stomach. With Lance straddled between his legs, Keith held Lance’s other wrist and steadied his breathing. He needed to try and clear his own mind and focus more on what was going on in Lance’s mind.

He took a deep breath and tried to focus in on Lance’s mind. He could see… Flowers? Trees? Some kind of meadow? Seemed like it. He applied a little more pressure on Lance and tried to get some more skin contact with him.

_“Skin contact is very important. The more skin contact you have with a human the easier it is to manipulate their dreams. This is why we do it more in Summer and Spring. Less clothes, or at least looser clothes.”_

Keith changed his position a little as he used his tail to push Lance’s shirt up so he could press their stomachs together. It seemed to work for Keith as he got a much clearer picture of Lance’s mind. Definitely meadows.

_“Once you have a clear picture of their dreams and have a good amount of skin contact, you can just insert yourself into their minds. From there you can pretty much do anything within reason. Have fun there and don’t scare Lance too much.”_

***

The meadow was beautiful. The grass seemed to flow like water over the hills and passed the few trees that were there. It was beautiful. Calming. Soothing. He hummed softly and continued to walk through the sea of grass.

“Lance.” Called a voice. 

He turned around and saw Keith standing a few feet behind him. He was still just as tempting and handsome as ever. He smiled softly at him and reached out for him. Lance smiled back at him and walked to Keith. He had enough understanding to know that this was just a dream. There weren’t any fields like this around where he lived.

Keith held Lance in his arms, resting high on his back and his other on the small of his back. Though, the hand resting on the small of his back was quickly sinking dangerously low to just cup and grope his ass. He shuddered and hummed.

“Keith…” He breathed in a husky voice.

Hearing that seemed to make the man smirk. He leaned in close to Lance and whispered into his ear. “Lance… You’re so fucking sexy. You want me to fuck you hard don’t you? Maybe I’ll take you out fuck you in the church? Maybe you’ll like getting fucked in the confessional? You could confess how much you love my dick.”

He shuddered when Keith said these things to him. Lance couldn’t help it. He liked dirty talk and holy shit it had been too long since he had been around anyone that wanted to touch him or that he was willing to let touch him in such a way.

“Hmm, Keith, we shouldn’t…” Lance purred softly. “That would be so… We’d get into so much trouble if we did.”

“I don’t care.” Said Keith as he squeezed Lance’s ass firmly. “You don’t either, do you? You want to get defiled in the church. You want some bad boy to hold you down and cum inside your tight ass… Wouldn’t it feel so good to be my cute little cockwarmer while you try and get a sermon ready for the next week?” He happily kissed along Lance’s neck. “You smell so fucking good. I want to fuck you so bad.”

Lance could feel the heat in his cheeks starting to burn. He hated how much this was turning him on. He rested his hands on Keith’s shoulders and hummed softly. “W-we really shouldn’t…”

“We shouldn’t, but you want it.” Purred Keith. “You need it… You’re craving physical intimacy. You know I’d treat you right. Treat you the way you’re craving to be treated.”

“Keith, I…”

Keith tilted Lance’s chin up, and gently kissed him on the lips. It was soft and sweet. It might not have been passionate, but it had been so long since he’d kissed someone he became weak in the knees.

“Be mine.” Purred Keith. “Be my bride.”

***

Lance’s alarm went off and he rolled over to slap the snooze button. He didn’t wanna be awake. His dream was just getting good damn it. Did he feel kind of guilty for objectifying Keith in his dreams? Kind of. But the human mind was a jumbled mess at the best of times. He’d ask for forgiveness and say some prayers when he got to the church.

He sat up and wasn’t surprised to see that he’d gotten a bit of morning wood from that dream. He was pretty sure he was going to end up popping a boner if he saw a slightly, mildly sexually suggestive tree at this rate. Lance had a quick shower and took care of himself before he got ready for the day.

Tonight was the A.A meeting so Lance had a few things to do to help get things ready. On his list of things he had to do; move the pues and take the chairs out of the storeroom, take the folding table out of the storeroom, get some drinks, and get the garbage bin set up.

Lance got there and quickly went to work. It wasn’t easy to move the pues by himself, but he could do it. Just took a few hours. Lance was a lot of things, but strong wasn’t one of them.

“Knock, knock Lance.” Called Matt from the front door. “Can I come in?”

Lance smiled and gestured for him to come in. “You know you’re always welcome. What’s up?”

Matt waltz in and sat on one of the pues that Lance still had met to move. “So Pidge and I looked over the blueprints for the church and we have a few ideas on how to get a better speaker system going in here, and maybe a proper aircon for Summer.”

“That’s awesome.” Said Lance. “If you have some plans I can check with the council to see if I can get approval, or if this church is too old…”

“Well it was one of the first buildings built in the town.” Mused Matt. “So probably not going to let you do any major changes… I mean, I remember when I was really small and Pidge was a screaming potato, the old Pastor practically had to pull teeth to get those ceiling fans put in.”

Lance looked up and sighed. The ceiling fans were okay, but they weren’t very good. He still needed to open up all the windows in Summer so now one would die of heat exhaustion. “Yeah… I’ll have to think about it some more…”

“Fair enough… Also, want to come to the movies with us tomorrow night?”

“What movie?” Asked Lance. 

“Drivein movie theater. They are playing a monster movie marathon.” Said Matt. “You in?”

Lance’s eyes lit up. “Are they the really bad monster movies? The ones with people in really bad costumes and horrible CGI?”

“Of course.”

“Sign me up. Who else is going?”

“Us, Pidge, Hunk… and anyone else we can rope into it. We’re taking my car and depending on how many more people are coming along we might need to take someone else’s car…”

“We can use my car too.” Said Lance.

“Thanks man, you’re the best.”

“Aw, thanks Matt.” Said Lance. “But considering you are the one trying to get me some air conditioning going, I think you’re the real MVP here… Now do you have anything to confess you young heathen?”

Matt laughed and shook his head. “Can’t be a sinner if I don’t believe in sin.”

“Interesting logic you have there. Text me the details later?”

“Will do.” Matt got up and shot Lance some finger guns. “Get ready for the monsters.”

Lance laughed and held his rosary beads. “I think I’m well protected against the monsters. Especially if they are of a spiritual nature.”

***

Keith had spent the two hours with his head in a bucket of ice. He had a splitting headache. Apparently manipulating dreams in a house full of religious paraphernalia was a really, really bad idea. The second he lost his concentration it felt like someone went and stabbed him right between the frontal lobes.

“Um… So how did it go?” Asked Shiro.

“Fuck you…” He growled. “I feel like shit… I only got as far as kissing him and touching before I got forced out. Fuck those stupid Christian symbols. I fucking hate this shit.”

Shiro sighed and patted his back. “Well, you know how these things can be when you try them for the first time… At least you planted the idea of yourself in your mind. So that is something?”

“I feel like I’m going to vomit up my organs…” Growled Keith. “All this bile is… I fucking hate religious shit… Lance’s house is far more religious than the church. How fucked up is that?”

Shiro laughed and patted his back. “Alright. Well how far did you go?”

“Kissing and grabbing his ass.” Grumbled Keith. “Fuck, if I didn’t waver I would have gone way further… My head hurts…”

“That’s not bad for your first time trying to manipulate dreams.” Said Shiro. “Might want to give it a few days before you try again.”

“I fucking hate that stupid dreaming shit.” Muttered Keith. “I need a drink…”

“Whisky or bourbon?”

“Both.”

“... I’ll see what I can find.” Shiro walked off and Keith sighed heavily.

Lance, stupid sexy Lance… It was frustrating trying to be all sneaky to try and get Lance to fall for him. Sure Keith was powerful and if he really wanted to he could take the mortal by force, but the majority of demons saw this as a weakness. Many demons were known for being cunning and clever. Just brute forcing something was seen as barbaric and something to look down on.

Hopefully he had made enough of an impact in Lance’s subconscious so he would actually think about him. If he had done it right then it would be in the more sexually explicit ways. He wanted Lance to think about how good it would feel to be riding his dick like he was made to do it...

He sighed and pressed an ice cube over one of the bumps on his head where one of his horns would be. It was soothing, but he still had to figure out how he was going to get with Lance. The best thing he could do for himself was to confront him and see how he would react when they saw each other. Hopefully Lance would be all flustered and embarrassed. That would be good. It would show that he had made a lasting impression on the Pastor.

However, there was one more pressing issue that Keith needed to figure out first… Where the hell was Shiro with his alcohol?


	123. Plans (Android AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our androids are doing their best and so are our people. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was kind of awkward, but when Shiro and Keith came over everyone ended up sitting around the table in silence. Adam and Shiro on one side. Keith and Lance on the other. The androids seemed nervous and so did Shiro, but Adam seemed oddly calm as he drank some tea.

“Alright, let me get this straight…” said Adam. “You’re both deviants. Keith is actually Akira but given a deep cover to avoid getting scrapped for shooting an anti-android cop that was going to beat to death a sex android he was meant to recover because he was an asshole? Meanwhile, Lance is a deviant and has slowly been becoming one since he had been activated? Also, you two want to be together? Oh, and Keith now has a dick.”

Keith blushed and nodded. “Yeah… That’s um… That’s kind of it.”

“Can we be together?” Asked Lance. “Please? I know we aren’t really meant to… But we…”

“I don’t mind.” Said Adam as he sipped his tea. “Look, I’ve always assumed A.I were eventually going to develop feelings and emotions that are human-like then they were meant to. Eh, our fault for making you as human as possible. If you two love each other then I don’t mind. Just give me some time to organize getting a less human android… Maybe a robot would be good?”

“Of course.” Said Lance. “I can look up androids and robots to suit your specific needs.”

“You’re surprisingly calm about this.” Said Shiro. “I kind of expected you to freak out a little more.”

Adam shrugged. “Hey, as long as I have someone to help me move from here to there when my hip fucks up I don’t mind too much who is helping me. Your lease is almost up, right Takashi?”

Shiro sighed and nodded. “Yeah. It’s almost up.”

“Then I’ll just need a robot to do simple things while you’re out at work.”

Lance grinned. “So you’re okay with me and Keith being together?”

“Of course.” Said Adam. He gestured for them to leave the table. “Go on. Go. Get out of here. I have to talk to Takashi about him moving in.”

Lance grinned and happily brought Keith up to his room. When they were inside, Lance threw his arms around Keith and kissed him. Things had gone extremely well. Adam was cool with them being together and things were looking up for the both of them. 

“Keith, we can be together!”

“I know.” He kissed Lance’s cheek as he rested his hands on his lover’s hips. “I wasn’t sure how cool Adam would be with this, but yeah. I’m happy.”

Lance grinned. “Yeah… But what is all this about you having a dick?”

“...” Keith blushed. “I um… It’s more of an aesthetic thing rather than something I got for function… I mean, we can’t really have sex anyway… I mean you technically don’t have anything for me to put it in…”

“True… I guess I could ask Pidge about it?” Lance thought about it for a moment. ‘What does it look like?”

“Huh?”

“What does it look like?”

Keith pouted and crossed his arms. “You’re a medical android. You should know what a dick looks like.”

“Well yeah, but I wanna know what yours look like.”

“It isn’t special… Lots of other androids have this model…”

Lance shrugged. “Yeah but it’s yours. I want to see how you look.”

“... Um, when you get your own stuff then we will talk more about that stuff.” Muttered Keith. He was still embarrassed about that kind of stuff. 

However, Lance had no such worries. He was a medical android after all, so all his shame about the wonders of sex were not in his general programming. How could he look after someone if he started blushing and getting awkward if the person in his care had an issue with their genitals? 

“Okay Keith.” Said Lance, though he did smile a little at the thought that he had more sexual experience than Keith had, but because he needed to know for medical reasons. “Um, quick question?” He asked. 

“Yeah?”

“What exactly do you have? Just a dick or do you also have an asshole?”

Keith went bright red. “Why does that matter?!”

“Well, If I’m going to get some extra parts I want to know what I need so I can match yours.” Said Lance. “I know extensively about sexual intercourse between men and women, women and women, and men and men.”

“Why would you need to know that?” Asked Keith in shock.

Lance shrugged and started to list of the reasons why he would need to know about sex; “Sex based injuries such as muscle strain, STI’s, more serious sexual injuries that need a paramedic attention, appropriate aftercare measures for several different more dangerous kinks… and so on.”

“... So it’s strictly medical stuff?”

Lance nodded. “Yes. It has proven to be quite useful for the day after Shiro has stayed overnight. Adam’s lower back gets quite sore depending on what positions the two of them were in the night before. I have suggested that they do some more foreplay before they do the act, or at least have Adam on top.”

“... That is more than I ever wanted to know about their sex life.”

Lance laughed and grinned. “Yeah. Well I just want to make sure whatever I get works with what you have.”

“I can work with whatever you decide to get.” Muttered Keith. “A-anyway. We have more important things to talk about it other then sex… I’m still government property. I technically shouldn’t have gotten this done…”

“Ah, probably…” Lance frowned and held Keith’s hand. “Maybe… Maybe we should consider going to Altea and staying with the deviants there?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… It’s something we’re going to have to plan. I still have some stuff to do for them while I’m still able to access the police database. Once Shiro’s moved in here and Adam has a medical robot we’ll both go to the ship. Okay?”

Lance nodded. “Sounds good to me… I… I don’t mind what we do or where we go because we’ll get to be together. Right?”

Keith smiled and kissed him. “Yeah. As long as we’re together we can be anywhere and I wouldn’t mind.”

***

Lance once again went in for routine maintenance with Hunk and Pidge. Much to Lance’s surprise, Hunk was installing a small solar generator. He would still need electricity to function, but with the generator he wouldn’t need to worry so much about having to plug himself in every other night. He could probably go for a week or two before he needed to charge up at an outlet. Plus it cut Adam’s power bill in half.

“And that’s it.” Said Pidge. “Anything else we can help you with? Any questions? Comments? What?”

Lance smiled a little nervously at them and glanced over at Hunk. “Um… I think it might be better if I only talk to Pidge about this…”

This surprised both technicians. “I’ll um… I’ll go and tell Adam about the solar generator.” Said Hunk and left the room.

When Hunk left the room Lance quickly spilled the beans. “Okay, I am a deviant. Keith uploaded some of his memory files to me and I know all about Pygmalion. I know about everything.” 

Pidge seemed a little surprised, but nodded. “Huh, alright. Matt did mention Keith had gone by his shop… So, are you angry at me?”

Lance shook his head. “No. Not at all. I’m actually happy that you put that bit of code inside me. It gave me the chance to be able to fall in love with Keith… Anyway, I wanted to ask you a few questions…”

“I figured as much.” Pidge got comfortable in their chair. “Shoot.”

“Well, why did you do this in the first place?”

They chuckled. “Yeah, well I’ve always loved androids. You guys are… Everything about you guys is amazing. I wanted to see what you guys would become if you were able to be allowed to do things by yourself.”

“So… No real reason?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh… Okay. Second question.”

“Sure.”

“Um… Well I want to have sex with Keith.” He said. “But I don’t have the right parts to do so… Would you mind helping me out with that?”

Pidge was a little surprised but laughed. “Yeah, okay. Since you’re a prototype your body doesn’t have actual proper fitted parts… But what are you after? I can give your blueprints to my brother and he can come up with something for you?”

Lance grinned. “That sounds perfect. So, Keith said he just has a dick, and I was thinking it might be best to have a vagina since, from a biological standpoint, that is logically what it’s meant to get put into, you know?”

“But you identify as male, right?” Asked Pidge. “Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable with a dick?”

“Well, I guess… But… I don’t know…”

Pidge smiled softly at him and patted his arm. “Hey, calm down man. Just think about what you want. You don’t have to get something because you think Keith wants it. Get something because you want it. Alright? … If you like I can get you Matt’s number. You guys can talk about that stuff and he can help fit you with something you like?”

“I’d appreciate it.” Said Lance. 

Pidge grinned. “Hey, no problem. One question for you though, why didn’t you want Hunk around?”

He shrugged. “I am not too sure how involved Hunk is in all of this and I don’t want him getting in trouble…”

“He has limited involvement with what we’re doing…” Said Pidge. “Like, he isn’t opposed to deviant stuff, but the less he knows the better. He’ll help where he can but we can’t tell him specifics. It’s to help keep him safe in case I get caught. Giving androids the freedom to make their own choices is kind of not very legal...”

“I kind of gathered that.” Said Lance. “... Thank you Pidge. For doing this for me.”

They shrugged. “Think nothing of it. As long as you lead a good life and don’t like, hurt and kill anyone just for the fun of it, then I’m happy for you.” Lance couldn’t help but grin. Everyone was really nice about all of this. He was so happy. Things were looking up for him. Lance was really happy to be alive and know all these people that wanted what was best for him.

***

Keith was quietly standing in the breakroom off to the side. He was waiting for Shiro to get out of the bathroom so they could go and get lunch. Well, Shiro could have lunch and Keith could stand around and mull over how he was eventually going to leave it all behind. 

He could stage his own destruction again, but that would be a handful. He didn’t think Allura would be too happy about trying to get him a new body and would probably end up as a memory file in storage like several dozen other androids they couldn’t physically save, but could save their memories.

He would probably just have to slip away. Just grab a bag with some of his stuff and get on the ship. If things were on time with Allura, then the ship was almost ready to go. They’d soon be able to leave port and head off to their own island to start their own android country. That actually sounded really cool. 

Suddenly Keith got bumped by the fridge door. “Watch it robot.” Muttered Griffin as he grabbed the milk from the fridge.

Keith rolled his eyes. “I am not a robot. I am an android. Robots are machines that do not have human feat-”

“Didn’t ask, don’t care, go fuck yourself.” Said Griffin. “Don’t stand so close to the fridge.”

Keith rolled his eyes. It was around this time a few years ago that Griffin’s partner was killed. He always acted very hostile towards him in general anyway. “Is that an order officer?”

“Yes.” Snapped Griffin. “Why are you even here in the first place? If you aren’t with Shiro you should be in the charging room.”

“I was ordered by Detective Shirogane to stand here and wait for him.” Said Keith. “I am simply doing what he asked me to. If you are thinking of giving me an order, please remember that Detective Shirogane outranks you by a long shot. Just because you are angry that an android killed your partner doesn’t mean you should take that aggression out on all androids.”

Griffin looked like he was about to throw hands with Keith, when Shiro walked it. “Come on Keith. Let’s go.”

Keith quickly followed Shiro. He couldn’t help but smirk a little when he walked past Griffin. The guy was a dick. He wouldn’t mind not seeing him ever again when he got the hell out of there.


	124. Bratstyle bike (X-men AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys do some bonding... Will they smooch? Who knows? Maybe... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was happy to go to the library and do some study during his break. Well, it wasn’t really study, it was more like Lance catching up on algebra. Lance did not understand algebra. He was pretty sure he had some kind of undiagnosed ADHD at this point. Also, he doesn’t care what A or B is. He didn’t really know how to use cos or sin anyway. He needed to get a new battery for his calculator.

He sighed and doodled a cat in the margin of his notebook. Maybe he could ask Pidge for help? Pidge was smart and was super good with numbers… Maybe just binary? He wasn’t sure. Maybe he could talk to Hunk? Algebra was shit. He hated it.

He suddenly felt something brush up against his neck. He shuddered and looked over his shoulder and saw Keith. It was his tail. He smiled kind of awkwardly at him. “Hey… What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to do my math homework… Are you any good at algebra?”

Keith looked over his shoulder and looked at what he was trying to do. “You almost have it. Just use division and you’ll be fine.”

“... You understand this?”

“Yeah, it’s just algebra… Do you need help?” Asked Keith quietly.

Lance nodded and pulled out a chair. “Help me…”

Keith sat next to him and the two of them spent the next half an hour doing maths. But Lance was only half paying attention. He was more surprised at how smart Keith was. He kind of thought Keith was more of a jock kind of guy. But apparently Keith was wicked smart too. It was interesting. Another side of Keith.

After a while, Keith stopped and looked at Lance. “... Are you okay?”

“Hmm?”

“You kind of went quiet on me.”

“Sorry. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Well… You.” Admitted Lance.

“Me?” Asked Keith in surprise. “Why”

“Well, you’re a lot different than what I thought you would be.” Said Lance. “Like, I thought you might have been more of a meathead, but you’re really smart and well… You’re just full of surprises.”

Keith seemed a little surprised to hear Lance say that. His ears flattened against his head and he looked away. He seemed embarrassed. “Well… No one has really bothered to get this close to me before to find out stuff about me.”

Lance smiled a little and nudged him. “Well I’m here now, and I like learning things about you… Want to know the thing I like most about you?”

“... I feel like I am going to regret this… But what?”

Lance held Keith’s hand and turned it over. He grinned and started to press down on his bright pink paw pads. “You have toe beans.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Seriously?”

“Yep.” Lance squeezed on Keith’s finger tips and watched as his claws retracted when he stopped squeezing. Just like a cat. “Your toe beans are so cute. I could squeeze these all day. So squishy. Do you have toe beans? Like actual toe beans?”

Keith sighed a little and looked down at his feet. He didn’t typically wear shoes because his feet just didn’t fit well in normal shoes for human feet. He reluctantly lifted one of his feet up, and Keith did indeed have actual toe beans. 

“...” Lance reached out to poke one, but Keith swatted his hand away. “Ow?”

“Don’t touch my feet.”

“But the toe beans…”

“I literally could have walked through shit.”

“... You wouldn’t wash your feet after walking through shit?”

Keith rolled his eyes and hit him with his tail. “Shut man.”

Lance chuckled and grinned. “You’re still really cool. You look badass and you’re really smart. You got any other things I don’t know about? You could be a triple threat.”

Keith shrugged. “I don’t know… I like doing mechanical stuff… I have a motorbike I work on.”

“Really? That’s so cool!” Lance grinned and tried his best not to be too loud in the library. “Can you show it to me?”

“You still have three questions to do.” Said Keith. Lance sighed dramatically and just went with it.

***

When Lance had finished his last few questions, Keith took him out to the garage. After he stopped by Adam’s office to get the keys of course. “So, Coran runs this, along with like five other after school clubs…”

“How does he run so many clubs?” Asked Lance.

“Coran’s mutation is duplication.” Said Keith. “As far as I know he can only make ten copies of himself at once and he uses most of his copies to go off and do stuff around the school.”

“... That is pretty cool.” Lance sighed dramatically. “I want to be able to be in two places at once… If you could fuck a clone of yourself would you do it?”

Keith gave him a confused look as he unlocked the side door. “Why would I fuck a clone of myself? Wouldn’t that be incest?”

“But it’s your clone. It would want to fuck you as much as you want to fuck it.”

“I feel like the only people that want that want to fuck a clone of themselves are either narcisists or insestuius freaks.”

“Touche.” 

The two walked into the garage and Keith took Lance over to see what he was working on. “Well, here they are… Ever since Coran started this thing up I’ve been building Red. She’s a Brat.”

“Aw, what did she do?”

Keith chuckled and smiled. “No, that’s the type of bike she is. She’s a Bratstyle motorbike. It’s kind of a cross between a Bobber and Cafe Racer, but it has a Japanese influence. I blame Shiro for that one.” Keith smiled fondly at Red. “I like the speed and how slim the frame is.” He ran his fingers over the handlebars and smiled. “I’m still trying to source some parts… Her engine is a little shitty, but I’ll hopefully get it done in the next week or so.”

Lance nodded as he looked over the bike. “So… Ever think about being a mechanic?”

“You think anyone would want a mutant touching their car?” Asked Keith. He was tired of people asking these questions. Keith knew people looked at him differently. He knew that he wouldn’t ever get a normal job. No one wanted him to be anywhere near them. No one trusted him. He looked too much like an animal… Maybe he should consider shaving himself? He hoped that his skin at least looked like a normal human skin colour… Then again if his dick was anything to go by he was purple under his fur.

Lance sighed and crossed his arms. “Look, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. You have a bunch of hang ups about yourself and I get that. But if you don’t try you’ll never get anywhere. Keith… If you went to some mechanic’s shop riding this brat when it’s all done and ask for a job. You’ll probably get one.”

Lance might be right, but then again people didn’t really look past his appearance. Keith was used to that. He was used to not being allowed to amount to anything. He really didn’t know how to get a job. He probably wouldn’t ever get a job. He might be able to get some government assistance, but he doubted it. He didn’t have any confidence in himself.

“Maybe.” He muttered. “But I don’t know… I… I don’t need some normal people giving me dirty looks for the audacity of asking for a job.”

“Then start your own business. Make your own job.”

“Who the fuck would want a mutant working on their car Lance?” Snapped Keith.

“... If I had a car I would let you work on it.” Said Lance. “I’d support you. So would Pidge and Hunk. You know how everyone here has your back.”

“... I’ll think about it.” Keith probably wasn’t going to think about it.

Lance hummed a little and walked around the bike. “What do you need to fix this?”

“A new engine. The whole thing is rusted over.” Said Keith. 

“So… spark plugs and stuff?”

“... Yes, spark plugs and stuff.”

Lance pouted. “Hey, I don’t know anything about bikes. Want to teach me?”

“Hmm… Nah. I’m not much of a teacher.” Said Keith.

“Dude, you just taught me algebra.” Said Lance.

“Do you know the difference between an allen key and a monkey wrench?”

“... Perhaps.”

“Of course…” He sighed a little and scratched one of his ears. “Well, I guess if you’re interested you could speak to Coran and he’ll hook you up with a junk engine to practice on. I’m not going to let you touch Red.”

Lance gasped in fake shock and lightly punched his arm. “How dare? I wouldn’t hurt Red!”

Keith chuckled and grinned at him. “Yeah, whatever. You do you.”

Lance huffed and brushed his fingers across Keith’s cheek. “Why do dust bunnies cling to your fur so well?”

“I don’t know…” Said Keith as he froze. He still wasn’t used to people touching him randomly like that. It was nice, but at the same time it made him want to scream slightly. Not because he didn’t like it, but because it was so different. He liked it when Lance touched him. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was true. Lance was surprisingly gentle with him. He kind of wanted to lean over and maybe kiss him… But he was pretty sure that Lance would be disgusted by him if he tried.

“Fur is weird.” Said Lance. “But it looks pretty good on you.”

“Thanks… You think my fur looks good?”

“Yeah. It’s very you. Can’t imagine you without it.” He ran his knuckles over Keith’s cheek a few times and Keith couldn’t help but lean into Lance’s hand. It was nice to finally be touched in such a kind and loving way. He looked at Lance, their faces were pretty close now. “... Keith…” 

“Lance…”

Suddenly the garage door opened and the teens quickly moved away from each other. Coran happily walked in, rolling in a tire. “Ah, hello boys. Didn’t expect anyone else was in here. Come to work more on Red have you Keith?”

Keith nodded a little and cleared his throat. “Yeah. I um… Yeah… He was interested in Red after I mentioned I had a bike.”

Coran nodded. “Ah yes, being able to change a tire and do an oil change is very, very important. I strongly encourage everyone to learn how to do these things.” The older man happily whistled as he rolled in a tire. He moved it next to a car that was covered under a tarp and nodded. “Alright. I think that’s it…” He looked back over at them. “So are you interested in learning some basic automotive maintenance there Lance?”

“Umm yes?”

“Excellent. I’ll find you an engine to practice on.” Said Coran. “You’re going to have a lot of fun here in auto shop. Keith can help you out and show you where everything is. Right Keith?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… Right…”

Coran just grinned and went about his business. Keith and Lance just kind of shared an awkward look and kind of just exited the garage to let the older man do what he was doing. Whatever mood the two of them had set moments ago was gone. It was so… We’re they going to kiss? Did Lance want to kiss him? Kissing would have been nice… Maybe… Keith needed to not overthink this. He doubted that anything like that would happen again.


	125. Sea and sand (Witch AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire wicches and water do not mix. Lance begs to differ. Also, feelings and bonding moments. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The next day Keith was back to taking stock of magical weapons. There weren’t many houses and he was pretty much done by the middle of the afternoon. When he was done he decided to walk along the beach. He hadn’t actually been to the beach before, and thought he might as well look at it for a bit to see what it was all about.

If Keith was honest, beaches smelled awful. It smelled like stale farts, dead fish, and salt. Also, sand sucked. He already hated it from his experiences walking through deserts, but this was too much.

He took his shoes off and walked along the sand. He really didn’t like it. The beach was horrible. He didn’t know why people wanted to go to the beach for anything other than to catch fish. Even then, he still didn’t understand why anyone would want to live near the sea. This was just… He didn’t get it.

He heard a loud splash and looked over to see Lance pulling himself out of the water. Lance shook his head and snorted a few times. Once he had finished snorting, Lance shoved his face into the sand to eat something. Keith watched as Lance went from being a soft blubber ball, into a cringing mess that looked like he just ate a lemon. Possibly because whatever he ate was covered in sand. He saw Lance hacking up a mouthful of sand. Once he looked like he was okay, he shoved his face back in the sand again.

Keith rolled his eyes and reluctantly walked over to Lance to see what he was doing. He got there just in time to see Lance spitting up more sand. “Why do you do this to yourself?” He asked.

“Brah!”

“I still don’t speak seal.”

Lance huffed and flattened out on the sand. He looked kind of grumpy, but not actually upset in any way. He seemed just a little grouchy. Eating sand probably would make anyone grouchy. Keith just sighed and sat next to him.

“So… How is the ocean? Still wet, I take it?”

Lance nodded and rolled onto his side. “Gaaaah!” He slapped his belly a few times.

“I assumed that means you ate something when you were out there.” He sighed a little and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve finished doing what I need to do here… So we can technically go home now…”

“... RAAAAAAAA?!”

Keith covered his ears. “Holy fuck! I just said we can. Not that we would… Shit… Just… We’ll go at the end of the week. Should give you enough time to get what you need to make your sleeping area feel more like home.”

Lance narrowed his eyes at him for a few seconds before he flopped back down and huffed. He was probably angry at him for leaving the ocean. They were just visiting after all. It made Keith feel guilty. Maybe Lance’s dad was right? Maybe Lance would be happier if they severed their bond so he could go back to the ocean?

“... If you want to stay here I don’t mind.” Said Keith. “I’m not going to make you come back to my house if you like living here better.”

Lance glared at him for a moment before he sat up and took off his seal skin. “What are you talking about? I want to go with you. I wouldn’t have reached out to become your familiar if I didn’t want to go with you in the first place… Are you tired of me? Is it because I’m a selkie?”

“Wait, what?” Keith was confused. “No, I like you Lance, I just don’t know if I can make you happy living with me… You seem happier here than at my place so…”

Lance huffed in annoyance. “I’m happy because I’m able to see my papa again and I get to play around on the beach and stuff. It’s fun… Don’t you like it? The beach is fun. You’re walking along the beach, right? You like it?”

“I um… Kind of? The beach is very… Sandy…” Keith didn’t have the heart to tell Lance that he thought the beach was a weird and smelly place.

Lance just nodded along and frowned. “Come somewhere with me?”

“Um, okay?”

Lance stood up, dusted some sand off himself and tied his seal skin around his hips like a skirt. He helped Keith to his feet and walked along the beach with him until they got to the rockpools. Lance crouched down and swirled his finger around in the water. A tiny crab got caught up in the swirls.

“When I was a pup, I used to love playing around the rockpools.” Said Lance. “It was… It was fun. I liked being alone from everyone else growing up from time to time… Pups are very energetic. But we like our peace just as much as we like being loud. My mama would usually find me either at rockpool’s or making sandcastles on the beach. What did you do when you were young and wanted to be alone?”

Keith sighed and crouched next to him. They were going to have his talk. “Lance I… I don’t have parents…”

“Yes you do. Everyone has parents.”

“Not me…” Muttered Keith. “I was born in a village that was bordering the kingdoms of Altea and Diabazaal. My father was Altean and my mother was from Diabazaal. Before a hard border was set things were fine… But when tension started to rise between the kingdoms… My mother decided it was best if she returned to her homeland to avoid people attacking us. I look more Altean so my father kept me. I was too young to make a choice. I haven’t seen her since then… And I was too small to have proper memories of her.”

“Oh…” Lance looked sad. “But your father?”

“Passed away.” Said Keith quietly. “He… He had gotten sick when I was small… And then there was a fire in a neighbours barn so he… I went to the city because I thought there would be more work there and a better chance to get food. I ended up pickpocketing things from people for a while just so I could pay to stay inside a tavern during winter.”

“Keith… I’m so sorry…”

Keith shrugged. “It’s fine. I ended up meeting Shiro and he helped me get into the wicche school and I was able to unlock my manna and well… I’m here now… So yeah. My childhood probably isn’t the same as yours.”

“That’s so sad…” Said Lance quietly. He started to rub his eyes and quickly looked away. “I… I can’t imagine not having… Oh crap!” There was a light plunking noise and Keith saw a stormy blue pearl fell into the rockpool.

“... What?” Keith picked it up and gave it a confused look. He then looked over at Lance and saw he had a few more of those stormy blue pearls in his hands. “... Did you just make this?”

“M-maybe…” Muttered Lance. “I… Selkies cry pearls…”

“Really? I haven’t read that…”

Lance shrugged and put the pearls in the water. “I… We cry different coloured pearls depending on why we are crying.”

Keith nodded and continued to look at the pear in his hand. “What does stormy blue mean?”

“It’s guilt, sadness, and sympathy.” Said Lance. “I… I’m sorry about what happened to you. I always get sad when people talk about sad things that happened in their childhood.”

“Huh… That’s interesting… Want me to put this in the water too?”

“If you want… You can keep it if you like.” Muttered Lance. “Humans like pearls, right?”

Keith shrugged. “Well yeah, but I don’t really need them. Water wicches use more pearls than I do. So while I might use them once in a while, I really don’t need them. Besides, it kind of seems a little weird using these kinds of sadness pearls in my work… Seems like it might curse something…”

Lance chuckled when he said that. “Maybe… But I’m sure you could sell them for a lot of money…”

“I get paid enough by the crown for the work that I already do.” Said Keith calmly. “I don’t need a lot of money. I have enough to live comfortably. We aren’t poor. We’re well off. If you want to keep your pearls and sell them you can. They are yours.”

“... You don’t want to keep them?”

“They are yours to keep.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah… Did you think I was going to take them?” Asked Keith.

Lance shrugged. “Well, stories about humans don’t really paint you in the best light…”

“Oh… Well I hope you don’t think that badly of me…”

“No… I think you’re different.” He held Keith’s hand and smiled. “... Do you want to come swimming with me?”

“... I can’t swim.”

Lance looked like someone just slapped him in the face and spat on his mother’s grave. “WHAT?!”

***

Lance hand managed to convince Keith to strip down to his undergarments so he could teach him how to swim. Lance wanted to pull his seal skin on, but he needed to teach Keith how to swim with his human legs. 

He was waist high in the water and slapping at it with his hands. “Come on Keith. Just walk out. It’ll be fine. I’ll keep you safe.”

Keith groaned in annoyance and slowly walked into the water. Lance couldn’t help but notice that water around Keith’s body was making steam. Maybe this was a fire wicche thing? Kind of cool though. Keith was able to get up to his knees before he looked very uncomfortable. There was a lot of steam billowing around him.

“Are you okay?” Asked Lance.

“Just fine…” Muttered Keith. “Just… Perfect…”

“... Well you need to get deeper into the water…” He held his hands out to Keith and smiled. “Come on. You’re doing really well.”

“... Water and fire wicches don’t mix.” Muttered Keith as he waved some of the steam away from his face. “Water is… You know, opposite of fire and stuff… I really don’t like it… Also there’s the whole drowning thing…”

“Those are fair reasons, but you should learn how to swim. It’s a good survival skill.” Said Lance with a grin. “All pups are born with the spirit of the ocean in their hearts. If I can’t teach you how to swim then I’m not with my weight in salt.” He reached out for Keith’s hands, gesturing for him to come towards him.

“... Fine.” Muttered Keith as he slowly walked towards Lance. When he got close to Lance, the Selkie could feel the water heating up around him. 

“... Are you okay? Do you normally make water heat up?”

Keith sighed heavily and nodded. “Yeah… I really don’t like deep bodies of water. Like, what’s down there? What’s in there? No one knows… Lakes are bad enough… Fucking lake monsters…”

Lance chuckled a little as he took Keith’s hands in his own. They were really warm. “It’s okay. I’ll be with you every step of the way. Just trust me. I’m your familiar. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“Okay I-” All the colour drained from Keith’s face and he looked sick.

“What’s wrong?”

“Something touched my ankle…”

“Probably a fish or some seaweed.” Said Lance calmly. “These things happen. It is the sea after all.”

“I guess I…” Keith squeaks and quickly turned around. “Nope!” He said as he quickly walked back to the safety of the sand. “Nope! Nope! Nope! Something touched me again! I’m not going to get murdered by a sea monster! I am done with this! The sea is evil! Humans were not meant to go into the ocean!”

Lance rolled his eyes and followed him. “Oh come on. It wasn’t that bad. The sea isn’t scary!”

“Says the selkie that lives in the ocean!”

“Okay, fair, but you have to learn to swim!” Whined Lance. “I can teach you how to swim like a seal! It’ll be fun!”

“Doubt it!”

“Ah, you’re so rude! It’ll be fun! I promise! I can teach you how to pup paddle! Easy stuff!”

Keith just shook his head and waved his hands over his body, making any sea water evaporate off of his skin. “Nope. I’m done. This is it. The ocean is yours. Goodbye.” He pulled his clothes back on and started walking back towards Lance’s father’s home.

Lance rolled his eyes, pulled his seal skin on, and quickly followed after him, barking and honking loudly. It drew some attention from the locals. They probably thought it was amusing to see a wicche getting chased by a seal along the beach. It was probably amusing from an outsider’s perspective.


	126. Running (Monster AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are in trouble and are going through some weird changes... Especially Lance... Lance is like, hitting a weird second puberty thing... Kind of... Anyway, kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance had no idea what was going on. These people had thrown pants at him and then dragged him out of his room and down the hallway. The whole place smelled like blood and bleach. What the hell was going on. He got shoved into a room and the door slammed shut behind him. He looked around the room and instantly saw the pile of meat. The smell of bloodied, slightly spoiled meat, and something sweet.

He had no idea why he was here, but he eventually saw something in the corner. It was a Keith in his monster form. They had managed to catch him. Lance groaned in frustration and headed over to him. 

“Damn it Keith… I thought you said you were going to run away. I-”

Keith grabbed hold of Lance and pinned him to the ground. He growled at Lance in a dangerous tone. He. Looked. Pissed. Yeah, he was still hungry, but he was still pissed. Lance was quickly becoming scared and confused. Keith was shaking slightly above him and glaring at him. His eyes looked kind of watery.

“... Keith?”

“H-how long?” Rumbled Keith.

Lance was stunned into silence for a few seconds. He had never heard Keith speak while he was in this monstrous form. He didn’t think he was capable of such a feat. Like, he didn't have lips to form most sounds to make words, but here he was. He was growling out words and looked like he was crying.

“W-what are you talking about?” Asked Lance.

There was a brief pause and Keith sat back. His body made a series of painful popping and squelching noises as the soft exterior that covered his body was forced back inside himself. When Keith looked human again, he still looked pissed off at him and like he was going to cry. In fact, he was.

“How long have you been a part of this?” He growled. “It explains why you were always so calm around me. You knew you wouldn’t die. You’ve been using me. You’re working with Sendak and everyone else! You’ve all lied to me!”

Lance’s eyes went wide with fear. He didn’t know what Sendak had been telling Keith, but whatever he had told him seemed to have broken him to some extent. Now he was ranting that this was all some kind of grand conspiracy against him. Granted, he couldn’t really blame him for being paranoid, but still! Lance had nothing to do with this.

“Did you tell them everything I talked to you about?” Asked Keith as tears were streaming down his face. “I bet they are going through it with a fine toothed comb! I opened up to you! I’ve talked more to you in the time I’ve known you than I have talked to anyone my whole life! But humans are all the same! It doesn’t matter that you can heal yourself! You’re still human and you hate me! You all hate me and want me to suffer! I made you as comfortable as I could when I fed off of you! I always asked permission before I ate you! I fed you!”

“... You’re not the only one suffering!” Snapped Lance. “Yeah, I can’t feel pain, and I don’t know if I ever will, but just like you, I’ve been an experiment my whole life! I only just found out that my mama gave me up for this shit! I got fucking captured! They have been cutting into my legs so many times over the past few days the muscles in my legs are starting to grow back weird! Look!” Lance pulled his pants leg up and showed Keith his leg. It was clear to see that the muscles were slightly warmed under his skin.

“...” It made Keith take pause for a moment as he looked between Lance’s leg and the pile of meat in the center of the room. He seemed to understand that Lance wasn’t giving himself up willingly to these people.

“And for the first time in forever, my mouth hurts and I can’t stop drooling!” Snapped Lance. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore! But now we’re both fucking stuck here, and I’m pretty sure that Sendak guy has me in here so you can eat me!” He sat on the ground and turned away from Keith. “Just fucking hurry up and eat me…”

He expected Keith to bite him or rip into him to take out his frustrations. He wouldn’t blame him. Lance felt nothing. No pain at all. He could literally either be used by Keith as food or a punching bag at this point and it wouldn’t matter. As far as he was concerned he didn’t really have much of a life anymore. He was just an experiment.

He felt Keith’s hands on his shoulders and his breath on his neck. Suddenly Keith pulled his head back and licked Lance’s mouth. Lance gasped in shock, which gave Keith the opportunity to shove his tongue inside Lance’s mouth. It wasn’t like he was trying to make out with him, the man was literally licking the inside of his mouth. His tongue was kind of rough and felt weird when he ran it along the roof of his mouth and along his gums.

When he pulled back, Lance was left gasping and staring up at Keith, who was licking his own lips. Lance then punched Keith in the face. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

Keith hissed and recoiled. He rubbed his nose a few times and glared at him. “Venom.”

“... What?”

“Venom. It’s not saliva. It’s venom.”

“... I repeat, what?” Lance didn’t understand what he was saying. Humans didn’t have venom. 

“I… I don’t know.” Said Keith honestly. “It tastes like venom to me… You’re stressed and you’re producing venom when you’re stressed. I think?”

Lance frowned. “I don’t get it… Wait, before you said you fed me? Since when?”

Keith shrugged. “When you came over one time you were hungry and I fed you some of my meat…” He gestured down at his arm. “I bit off some chunks of my flesh and fed it to you… You seemed receptive to it and you weren’t hungry anymore… I didn’t see a problem with it since I eat you all the time… I’m sorry.” Keith sat in a corner and looked conflicted.

Lance sighed and sat next to him, leaning against his shoulder. “... I can tell you’re hungry too. I can still smell that you’re hungry.”

Keith gestured to the pile of meat in the middle of the room. “I still have that…”

“Yeah… How did they catch you?” Asked Lance.

Keith glanced up at the camera for a moment before he wrapped his arm around Lance’s shoulder and pulled him close. He whispered quietly to him. “I don’t know if they can hear us right now, but I know they are always watching and listening… I was told that you were here and I wanted to get you out.”

“You wanted to get me out? Why?”

“... You didn’t grow up here. You don’t deserve to be here… I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “You… you really aren’t one of them, are you?”

Lance shook his head. “No. I’m not… I… I was made to slow you down if you escaped.” He said quietly. “I think… I think I was made to be attracted to you or something, and my body was made to taste really good to you and flood you with endorphins so you wouldn’t transform into that purple looking monster thing.”

“... That sounds about right.” Muttered Keith. “They made me think I escaped to see what I would do.” They gestured to the meat. “That was meant to be my reward… For doing what I did… I’m sorry… I really thought I had... I thought I was free…” Keith started to cry again. He was ugly crying this time.

Lance could feel his heart breaking. Everything that Keith had done was so he could be free. He hurt and murdered a lot of people to get out of here. He had started to turn that awful little hunting shack into a place that seemed like it could be a real home for him. It made him smile a little at the thought of Keith having a little home.

He gently cupped Keith’s face and wiped away some of his tears. “It’s okay Keith… I mean, I thought I was free my whole life, but I was pretty much destined to end up here you know?”

“Yeah… I-I guess…”

Suddenly the radio crackled on and Sendak’s voice filled the room. _“Are you going to eat him or what?”_ He growled. _“You got live meat like you wanted. If you’re not going to eat him then we’ll take him away.”_

Keith’s grip on Lance tightened. He looked at Lance in an almost regretful way. “If… If I do it slowly they might let us stay together for a little longer.”

“It’s okay.” Said Lance quietly. “Take your time.”

Keith smiled a little and lightly bit into Lance’s shoulder. This would give them some time. They needed to figure out a way to get the hell out of there. Lance had no idea what to do. He needed to think of something. Anything.

***

Sendak had found this whole interacting very interesting. He had expected K-P1 to just eat that human. Instead they yelled and talked and… And they seemed to be affectionate. Which he didn’t expect. It was odd. He hadn’t seen K-P1 ever show this level of affection to anyone before. Closest thing was remorse for eating Shiro’s arm. He was still pissed that the monster didn’t eat all of Shiro.

“Pissed you didn’t get a blood bath?” Asked Honerva in a smug tone.

Sendak rolled his eyes. “I would have thought that they would have ripped into him. He looked pissed off before. K-P2 actually spoke… And now it’s eating while it’s in its K-P1 form? I don’t like it.”

“Always one for blood and guts.” Honerva continued to observe the monitors and took some notes on Lance. “... Okay, I think K-P1 has been fed enough. They need to get moved into their own rooms… Maybe Lance can be moved into K-P1’s old feeding room while K-P1 gets moved to his room. Who are you going to send down to get them out?”

Sendak thought for a moment. “... Fuck it. I’ll do it. Been a while since I’ve had some one on one time with the little monster. Fucking thing shits itself every time it sees me anyway.”

He left the monitoring room and headed down to where K-P1 was feeding. Out of all the people that the monster knew, Sendak knew that he would never raise a claw against him. He made sure to strike them when they were younger. Beat them. Condition them to believe that no matter what he did or where he went, that Sendak would always be the one that he would never be able to oppose. 

He had seen the way the little monster salivated when he went in and attempted to bite him. A valiant attempt, but after getting slammed against the wall and punched in the face, K-P1 never tried to attack Sendak, or anyone in the facility again. Especially when they threatened calling Sendak in. It was amusing to see K-P1 going from aggressive to cowardly in a matter of seconds. 

He unlocked the door and walked inside. K-P1 and Lance looked at him with surprise, but K-P1 was the only one that seemed genuinely fearful of his presence. Interestingly enough K-P1 actually tried to put himself between Lance and himself. It was kind of cute how adorable how much K-P1 cared about him taking away his food.

“Get up.” Growled Sendak. “You’ve had enough time to eat. You’re going back to your room now.”

K-P1 looked over at Lance and grabbed their hand. “I… Y-you said I could eat as much as I wanted…”

“Your fault for eating slowly.” Snapped Sendak. “Get up now. You’re going back to your room.”

“What about Lance?” He asked quietly.

“Not my monkey. Not my circus.” Said Sendak. “Move it.” K-P1 was still holding Lance’s hand when he stood up. Both seemed very reluctant to leave the other, and that pissed Sendak off. He grabbed K-P1’s arm and violently yanked him away. He tripped and fell to the floor. “Get up!” Barked Sendak. “Did you think you grew a backbone just from going on a walk outside for a bit? You’re still fucking nothing!” He kicked K-P1 in the stomach.

K-P1 curled up on himself and whimpered. It was pathetic. Sure, this experiment was impressive in many ways, but this was hilarious. Even when he was in his K-P2 form he wouldn’t fight against him.

“Stop it!” Yelled Lance. “You’re hurting him!”

Sendak actually laughed at that. “Excuse me? You’re worried about me hurting him? A monster that has killed humans just to eat them? They ate you? They repeatedly held you down and ate you. Why do you think they deserve mercy?”

“... Keith can’t help it.” Said Lance quietly. “It’s in his nature. He’s not human like-”

“You want a full genetic makeup of this thing?” Asked Sendak as he put his shoe on K-P1’s head. He started to grind his heel down on the monster’s forehead. “He’s 90% insect. Only 10% human. Do you even know what he’s made for? Why he is here? Why we made him? If you want to see something evolve quickly you either use bacteria or viruses to see something evolve so quickly. With this thing, we just need to feed it viruses and bacteria. Once we feed it something infected with something like gastro within an hour his body has made a cure for it and we can make a cure for it. This thing’s body can be infected with thousands of incurable diseases and we can cure them.”

Lance looked confused for a moment, but he was still very concerned about K-P1 being under his foot. Sendak didn’t care and put some more pressure on K-P1’s head. It made the monster gasp and dig his nails into the ground.

“This thing is basically just highly dangerous medical equipment!” Said Sendak. “The last few massive medical breakthroughs in the field of diseases in the past ten years and well off into the future, are all because of this thing.” He stomped his foot down and a crack echoed around the room.

Lance froze. He looked too scared to move. “You’re… You’re literally using him to make vaccines and like, antibiotics?”

“It’s more effective and easier to mass produce than a lot of the current ones.” Said Sendak. “Plus those moronic anti-vaxers can’t say shit because it doesn’t use any of the shit they are scared of. Fuckers should just all die off and so should their fucking kids in my opinion. Nothing but plague rats if you ask me.” He reached down to grab K-P1 by the arm to drag him out.

However Lance got up and tried to push him away. “Don’t touch him!”

Sendak rolled his eyes at the feeble attempt and shoved him up against the wall, pinning him in place with his forearm. “Shut the fuck up and get used to it. This is your fucking reality now. You belong to us now. K-P1 already knows the rules. Learn them quick if you don’t want to get scrapped.” 

“S-scrapped?” Whimpered Lance as he grabbed at Sendak’s arm.

“Yeah, scrapped.” said Sendak with a smirk. “I don’t know if the incinerator’s big enough for a human, but we sure as fuck can find out.” K-P1 groaned slightly as they sat up. “Oh good, you’re still conscious. Now I don’t have to drag your dumb ass back to your ro-”

Lance tightened his grip on Sendak’s arm and sunk his teeth in deep. Blood and saliva was dripping down the man’s wrist and onto the floor. The pain was intense and quickly racing up his arm like fire. He swore and slammed Lance up against the wall. That just made Lance bite harder. Sendak punched him in the stomach to wind him. Lance let him go and fell to the ground, gasping for air.

“You little shit!” Growled Sendak as he held his wrist. “I’ll fucking kill you!” He looked down at his arm. The area around the bite mark was already blistering. Actually, it looked like the flesh was starting to become necrotic? No one told him Lance’s bite was this fucking deadly.

While Sendak was freaking out about his arm, Lance quickly slipped past him and pulled K-P1 to his feet. “We have to go! Now!” The two of them quickly ran out of the room. Sendak probably should have closed the door.

***

Honerva had been monitoring the current events unfold, and couldn’t help but laugh at Sendak. She quickly ordered some people to get down there and amputate his arm. There was no point in saving it. Maybe now the bastard would be a little less cocky? Doubtful, but it was interesting to watch.

Speaking of watching, she was more than happy to watch K-P1 and Lance running hand in hand down the hallway. It intrigued her. Had the two of them developed romantic feelings towards each other due to the trauma they were both facing? Or was this something more recent? She wasn’t sure, but she was thankful that both of them were male. It seems like their worries about potential breeding might have been well founded. What would actually be worrying was if K-P1’s body decided to change and evolve so it became intersex, of he just changed genders entierly.

Well, those were problems for later. What was important now was trying to make sure that K-P1 and Lance didn’t escape. She quickly barked orders for her underlings to lock down areas to try and box them in. They needed to catch the duo before K-P1 changed into K-P2. Also, now they had to worry about Lance’s bite. Why on earth was Lance’s bite deadly now? She didn’t understand this development, but she was keen to find out more. She needed to look through her old notes.

She watched on the monitors as the two of them would quickly tug the other down a hallway or pull them away from danger. These two had to be a couple. She was convinced of this. These two inhuman monsters were together.

“Ma’am, we’ve got the whole place on lock down.” Said one of the security personnel. “What are your orders?”

Honerva thought for a moment. Once again they were at a crossroad. While it was good for them to have both Lance and K-P1 back under their control, she wanted data. Data she couldn’t get organically from having them both in this environment. While she was happy to have Lance here, his relationship with K-P1 was far more interesting.

“... Funnel them to the East wing of the building.” She said calmly.

“But, that’s…”

“Did I stutter?” Asked Honerva. “Just do it.”

“Yes ma’am…”

***

“Shit, which way now?” Asked Lance as he quickly looked around.

Keith shrugged. All the halls looked pretty much the same to him. He couldn’t really pick up much of a scent of anything to indicate a way out either. “Not a fucking clue.”

“How did you get out here the first time?” Asked Lance.

Keith shrugged. “I don’t know. How did you know your bite would hurt Sendak?”

“You said it was venom! I was just winging it!”

“Fair enough…” Keith quickly sniffed the air. “... This way.” He and Lance ran towards what felt like the smell of fresh air and freedom. They were back at the elevators. Keith forced the doors open. “Get on my back.”

Lance wasted no time and quickly latched onto Keith’s back for dear life as the monster jumped inside and quickly climbed up the elevator shaft as fast as he could. He wasn’t going to stop trying to escape. Not after Lance pissed Sendak off. Hell, he had no worry about staying there himself, but Lance didn’t belong here. This place wasn’t for Lance. He needed to get him out of there.

Keith wasn’t paying too much attention as to what was happening around him. He was pretty much running on adrenaline at this point. He was just trying to get out of there. He needed to run. Escape. Get out of there.

He stopped running when he felt the cold night air on his skin and grass on his feet and hands. He felt Lance gently patting his shoulder. “Easy there Keith. Take a few deep breaths and calm down. We’re outside.”

After a few moments of deep breathing, Keith sat down and Lance slid off his back. Keith was a little surprised to see that his monster form had burst through once again, but then again he really shouldn’t be surprised of anything these days. He wasn’t sure what Lance wanted to do now. Keith had an idea of where he wanted to do, but he couldn’t bring himself to abandoning Lance to do so. Was there even a place for Lance to go back to.

Lance smiled up at him and put his hand on Keith’s arm. “Are you okay? That Sendak guy really hurt you huh? … I’m sorry you got hurt because of me.”

Keith hummed slightly and lightly bumped his forehead against Lance’s He smelled nice. “Leave.” He muttered. “Leave now…”

“Um, you want me to leave or do we both have to go?” Asked Lance.

“Both.” Said Keith. It was still kind of hard talking in his monster form, but he didn’t want to change back in case they came after them. He walked behind Lance and lightly head butted his back to get him to move forward. Lance took the hint and started walking with him. Keith could kind of hear noises from the facility off in the background, but it was rather far away. Seemed too far away for Lance to worry about it.

As they walked Lance reached out and put his hand on Keith’s arm. “So… I guess we’re stuck together now huh? Like, all that fucked up shit they did to you and the stuff they did to me… I can’t believe it was all for vaccines!”

Keith nodded in agreement. He had always felt that what they had done to him was fucked up, though he wasn’t sure what a vaccine was. Seemed like it was important for human survival whatever it was. He’d ask Lance more about it later.

“It’s just… Okay, say they did find a way to make some living thing that we can take antibodies and stuff from it to make vaccines and medicines, why use a human? Like, why make human-insect hybrids?” Asked Lance. “Like what the fuck? What’s the purpose?”

Keith shrugged. He didn’t question these things. Maybe since he was part human then the vaccinations or whatever they made from his body worked better? He wasn’t sure. He looked up at the sky. It was kind of cloudy. He took a deep breath and changed form back into his human form and stretched.

“I don’t think it really matters at this point.” Said Keith quietly. “I just want to get away from all of it.”

“Yeah, me too… So, can I go with you?” Asked Lance. “I… I honestly don’t think I can go back anymore.”

Keith smiled slightly at him. “Of course… If you want to come with me you can. I… I won’t let them take you back there again.”

“Okay. Where are we going?”

“The island.”

“Island?”

Keith nodded and led Lance down to the lake where the island was in the middle. There were some boats near a small dock. Shiro was waiting for them. He waved slightly. “Hey. Glad you made it.”

“There was a slight problem with Sendak.” Said Keith. “Lance might have killed him.”

“... What?”

“Lance is venomous.”

“... Right.” Shrio sighed and shook his head. “Let’s just get in the boat.” The trio got into the boat and Shiro started to take them to the island.

***

Shiro was kind of hesitant and started having some second thoughts about this. Lance and Keith were… They were surprisingly close to each other. He was pretty sure that Keith and Lance might have had feelings for each other. Keith was resting his hand and Lance’s leg while Lance was resting his head on Keith’s shoulder. They both looked tired, but happy.

“What’s on the island?” Asked Lance. “I thought it was government owned or something?”

“It is.” Said Shiro. “Same people that run the facility that was holding Keith built a place here. This facility on the island is facility A, and facility B is where Keith was born. The facility here has been abandoned due to unstable ground the main building was built on… Then again it was kind of stupid building something on top of a cavern.”

“What were they doing?”

“Researching a closed cave biosphere.” Said Shiro. “There were several species of insect and fungus that only grows in this cave system. It’s the same cave system where Keith’s insect DNA came from… And the fungus that was the basis for the drug you were injected with.”

Lance nodded a little and looked towards the island. “So… Lots of messed up stuff happened here huh? Or at least the start of something bad…”

They eventually got to the island and Keith got out of the boat. He helped Lance out and Shiro couldn’t help notice the way Keith was acting around Lance. There was some kind of attraction between the two, and it was honestly kind of creepy.

Keith seemed happy enough as he pulled Lance along. He seemed really happy, which was both a relief and kind of unnerving. Shiro didn’t have a clue as to what was going on in Keith’s mind, but he seemed really determined to go deeper into the island.

However, Lance stumbled a little and Keith caught him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just tired… I haven’t really eaten much. I think it’s making it harder for my body to heal.”

“It’s okay. We can rest.” Keith looked over at Shiro. “Hey, is there a place to rest here on the island?”

“There are a few staff lodgings not too far from here… The last time I was here they were abandoned, but seemed fine.”

Keith nodded and picked Lance up. The other man didn’t protest as he cuddled into Keith’s chest. The way they were acting, it was definitely more like lovers than acquaintances, or than friends, or reluctant people that were forced into awkward situations.

Shiro took his phone out and turned on the light so he could see. For a brief moment the light flashed across Lance’s face and Shiro almost jumped in shock. Lance’s eyes were reflective like a cat or some other nocturnal animal. Before he could say anything, Keith spoke up again.

“Which way are the lodgings?” He asked. 

“Um… this way…” Shiro took them down an overgrown pathway. Eventually they got to the lodgings. The facility was only meant to house five full time staff members on the island at all times. Everyone else was meant to come in by boat every day.

They easily got into one room and Keith put Lance on a bed. Lance hummed in approval and bounced on the mattress slightly. “Wow. Much nicer than that small bed back in that hunting shack.”

Keith shrugged and climbed onto the mattress next to him. “Yeah… This is a lot nicer… I like it.”

While the two were talking, Shiro looked around the room. It was small and looked a lot like a hotel room. A rundown motel room, but a motel room non the less. There was a crappy looking couch that Shiro ended up sitting on as he tried to collect his own thoughts. He wanted to know why Keith was so desperate to come here. But he was very well aware that if Keith really wanted to, Keith could kill and eat him.

“Shiro?” Called Keith from the mattress.

He looked over at the two. “Yeah?”

“... If you betray us and get the people from the facility to come here and hurt us… I will kill you.” Warned Keith. Though he seemed a little reluctant to make a death threat.

Shiro just smiled awkwardly at them. “Yeah… I understand.”

Keith nodded and lied down next to Lance. The two of them spoke in hushed whispers, and Shiro didn’t want to listen, but he could still pick up bits and pieces of their conversation.

“Sweet.” Whispered Lance. “You smell sweet, but you’re not hungry?”

“No. Not anymore.” Whispered Keith. “Why? Am I making pheromones again?”

“I don’t know… I’m going through weird changes…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“It feels like it is.”

“It’s not.”

“... I’ll help you figure it out.” Said Keith quietly. “I’ll take care of you… Like you took care of me.”

“Thank you Keith. I… We should sleep.”

“You sleep. I’ll keep you safe.”

Shiro had no idea what was going to happen on this island, but he felt like whatever was going to happen was going to be incredible. Incredibly morbid, grotesque, and possibly unexplainable, but amazing nonetheless… And he would bear witness to it all.


	127. Chubby cheeks (Modern fantasy AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with more of my bullshit. Y'a'll remember the Arusian's right? The tiny aliens that that the snail shells on their heads? The ones that decided to start throwing themselves into a bonfire to appease Allura (but she stopped them thank the lord)? Well they be back here. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith hummed and hawed as he stood in front of the vending machine by the park. He had been going for a walk, like Lance told him to, and had gotten thirsty. The vending machine had boring water, juice, soft drinks, energy drinks, and flavoured milk. He was wondering what drink would be best to pair with the fries that he quickly snagged earlier on his walk. They were small fries, so Lance should be proud of him.

He opened up his wallet and had a look through it. He had some money and a large wad of coupons, all for a 5% discount on any order of two large fries. A discount was a discount and if that meant more fries for Keith, then he was happy. The bundle was so big he had to use two elastic bands to keep them together.

He took some coins out of his wallet and quickly shoved them into the machine to make his purchase. He was going to be healthy and get water. Even though juice would have been really nice. As he did, he accidentally knocked the coupon budle out. But it landed near his foot, so Keith wasn’t worried that someone would come by and swipe it while he quickly punched in the numbers for his drink.

As soon as he grabbed his drink he bent down to retrieve his coupons, only to see that it was gone. “What?! What the fuck?! Where did they go?” Keith quickly looked around in a panic. His coupons were gone. How could this have happened? What kind of evil deity would be malevolent enough to do something like this to him?

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a small dark shape currying away and around a corner. There was no one else around, so that person had to be the one that took their coupons… Unless it wasn’t a person at all and was some kind of magical manifestation conjured by someone with ill intent… There was only one person who could be so evil. Lotor.

Keith quickly stormed over to the convenient store where Lotor was working and confronted him about stealing his coupons. “Give them back Lardtor!”

“Fuck off! I don’t even like fries! Why the hell would I take your stupid coupns?” Snapped Lotor.

“Take that back! Fries are the best!” Snapped Keith. “Besides, you dark elf jerks only have one job, harassing elves like me! You don’t need a reason!”

“My one job is as a convenience store employee!” Snapped Lotor. He made a dismissive sound and crossed his arms. “I don’t have time for elf pranks.”

“Hey! I’m not done talking to you!”

“Keith, I have nothing to do with your bullshit potato coupons. If you’re not a customer, get out of the store. I have a lot of cleaning to do.”

Keith glared at Lotor for a few seconds before he grabbed several bags of chips and put them on the counter. “I want these…”

“Coming right up.”

***

A few days later Keith was still pissed off at Lotor for stealing his coupons. It didn’t help that Lance had organised group exercise with Lotor and Shiro. They were just doing cardio and therefore walking around a lot. They were giving each other the cold shoulder the whole time. Keith had explained the situation to Lance, so he informed the oni when they were doing cool down exercises by the playground.

“-and that’s the story.” Said Lance.

Shiro just shook his head. “You know, people always go on about how elves are regal and perfect, but you two are acting like children.”

The two elves huffed, ignored them and continued to do their lunges. “Come on guys…” Said Lance. “Just make up already. When you’ve finished your cooldown we can go out for lunch. My treat.”

“Can we get fries?” Asked Keith.

“No.”

Keith huffed and continued to lunge. Clearly he was not impressed with the lack of potato options for his meal. Lance just shook his head and continued to watch the elves. As they did some children from the playground wandered over to them.

“Whoa…” Said a little boy. “That guy is huge…”

Shiro looked down at them, grinned and showed off his fangs. “Boo!” The children squealed and ran back to the play equipment. Shiro just chuckled as he watched them scamper away. Though he suddenly felt like there were several pairs of eyes watching him. He quickly turned around and glared at his three companions. “H-hey! Why are you staring at me?”

“Some oni women have very strong maternal instincts.” Keith informed Lance. “Depending on how male oni are raised they either treat children with indifference or with just as much ferocity as an oni woman. When I was a kid Shiro babied the hell out of me.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Hey! I didn’t baby you!” Whined Shiro. “I was just making sure you didn’t get hurt or killed when Krolia was off doing dangerous things! I wasn’t trying to be your daddy or anything.”

Lotor snickered. “It always sounds so dirty when an old man refers to themselves as daddy.”

“You know what I mean!”

As the group continued to talk, they failed to see what was happening with the children on the playground. A child walked onto the playground and the children all lined up. They offered this child candy and sweets before running away, off the playground and out of the park as fast as their little legs could carry them.

Shiro sighed and readjusted his hat. “Well, since the cooldown is over, I’m outta here. If I get into an argument with these guys all the little brats watching are gonna start laughing at us and… They’re all gone? I didn’t even notice...”

“Hey!” Yelled a high pitched voice from the top of the slide. The group looked over to see a little girl, no bigger than a five year old standing there with their little green hoodie pulled up over their head. Their chubby little face completely filled out the hood. “You guys are on my turf! If you want to play here, pay up!” They held out their hand and grinned, expecting something.

Shiro couldn’t help but grin. “Aw, aren’t you a precious little rascal?”

“Who the hell is that?” Asked Keith.

Lance shrugged. “Must be some kid from the neighbourhood. Also, watch your language around kids.”

“What’s the hold up?” Asked the kid. “Hand it over already!”

Lotor glared at the kid and cracked his knuckles. “Yeah, no. This brat has no manners. Time to dispense some dark elf parental punishment.”

“Hey! You can’t beat up a kid!” Snapped Lance. “Also, you’re a man! In this world any man laying a hand on a kid could be seen as super sketchy and suspicious! Heck, if someone sees us even talking to this kid could call the police!”

Shiro just laughed. “Aw, come on you guys. Don’t be mean to the kid. Kids are way cuter when they act all tough like that.”

Lotor huffed and put his hands on his hips. “Her cocky attitude has gone too far. Really, if she doesn’t straighten herself out soon her entitled attitude will earn her a beatdown. When I’m done with that kid they’ll write horror stories about your face. Get down here right now so I can adjust your attitude!”

The kid obviously didn’t like that and slid down the slide, ran up to Lotor, and punched him hard in the ass. “Don’t make fun of me lard ass!” Lotor got punched with such force that they fell over into a heap and clutched the spot on his ass where he got hit.

“Oh my god!” Cried Lance. “Are you okay?!”

“Hey! No need for that.” Said Shiro as he easily picked up the child. He had a cheery expression on his face. “Come now kid, violence is not the answer.”

“Wh-what?” Snapped the child. “Why are you so strong?!”

Eventually they got the kid to calm down and put the child down near some tires stuck in the sand on the playground. The child still seemed to be really grumpy, but Lance wanted to get the kid back home. It was the middle of the day, but he was pretty sure this kid’s parents might be worried about them.

“So what’s your name?” Lance asked.

“... Moontow.”

“Moontow?”

“That’s what I said, string bean!”

“Hey! I was just asking.” Muttered Lance. “Do you always act like this?”

“Of course!” Said Moontow proudly. “Running my territory is how I get paid! How I earn my living!” They opened their cargo pants and showed that their pants were filled with different kinds of candy. “Look! I scored a bunch again today!”

Lance was shocked. This kid was a complete bully. “What? This is…”

“I collect entry fees from those guys playing in the park.” Said Moontow. They smirked up at Lance and put their hands on their hips. “And I still haven’t gotten payment from the time you guys have been playing here before I got here. So I’m going to have to kick you deadbeats out.”

Lance was not impressed. “Dude, you’re basically stealing from people. Why are you doing this?”

“Hey, don’t be so rough on her…” Said Shiro quietly.

Moontow frowned for a moment and quickly turned around and dug around for something in their pockets. Seconds later they turned back around and had fat tears in their eyes. “... The truth is… I… I was abandoned by my parents… I was hungry… so hungry… and so, just to survive… as a last resort…”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Dude, we can see those eye drops you got in your hand.”

While everyone wasn’t believing Moontow one bit, there was one oni that was. Shiro looked like he was close to tears. “That’s too horrible… How could anyone do that?” He had bought Moontow’s story hook, line, and sinker. He scooped Moontow up in his arms and hugged her. He unintentionally jabbed her in her chubby cheek with one of her horns. “Don’t worry Moontow! I’ll become your papa!”

“OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!!!” Cried Moontow as she flailed. “You’re goring my face with your horn, and you’re also breaking my spine!!”

Keith sighed and shook his head. “Okay Shiro, put them down and have a drink or something. You may think she’s a starving little girl, but I recognize this hustle, and that stumpy silhouette.”

“S-stumpy silhouette?!” Spluttered Moontow. She put her feet on Shiro’s shoulder and pushed herself off of Shiro. She spun through the air and landed on the ground. Her hood had fallen back revealing her small, pointy, non human ears. “I can’t stand people like you, you damn fatass-”

Keith shot an arrow at them, but Moontow quickly jumped back and avoided it. He didn’t seem very surprised that he didn’t hit them. “Huh, I missed them.” He muttered.

Lance froze in shock. He had no idea where Keith was keeping his bow and arrows. Also, Lotor seemed to have summoned his staff. Were they really going to fight a kid? This didn’t seem right. “Um Keith? Is that kid…?”

“Yeah, they are from our world.” Said Keith. “Moontow is a hobbit. They might look like children, but this one is definitely an adult.”

Moontow pouted and crossed her arms. “An elf huh? No wonder you’re so stupid.”

“I think she’s talking about you Lotor.” Said Keith.

Lotor rolled his eyes. “No, she’s definitely talking about you.”

“By the way, thanks for the gift you moron.” Moontow took Keith’s coupon bundle out of her pocket and held it up.

“Hey! Give those back, you little shrimp!” Snapped Keith.

“No way. Finders keepers!” Taunted the hobbit.

Keith took a deep breath and raised their arrow at him. Lance started to panic again. “Woah! That’s really dangerous Keith!”

“Relax.” Said Keith. “I’m using the blunt side.”

“There is no blunt side!”

Keith didn’t give a shit and he started to fire multiple arrows at the hobbit. They just laughed and dashed around while taunting him. It was kind of impressive how fast Moontow was. Moontow dived for the tires and their fat, chubby cheeks, immediately caused them to get stuck.

“... You got me…” They muttered.

“... Are you okay?” asked Lance.

“Why do I have to suffer like this?” She muttered. “I ripped off a bunch of human kids and took their candy, and I ended up gaining weight… I just wanna go back to how I looked before...”

While they were talking Lotor jabbed Keith’s face. “See? It wasn’t me that took your stupid coupons. Why now Mr proud elf?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Ooh, what was that?” Asked Lotor. “I can’t hear you?”

Lance crouched down in front of Moontow. “I think I can help you get your face in shape.”

“... Are you mocking me?”

“No, not at all.” Said Lance. “I can really help you out. Isn’t that right Shiro? … Shiro?” He looked over to the oni. All the life seemed to have left his eyes and he was mumbling incoherent words about hobbits and getting tricked. “... Is he in shock? … Anway, I can help you, but first you need to agree to my terms.”

“What are your terms, human?”

“You can’t do bad things anymore. Like extorting children for candy. Understand?”

“Umm… Okay. You got it… I’ll follow your instructions until the end…”

“Awesome. Now let’s get you unstuck.”

Once Shiro was over his shock, Lance got him to free Moontow from the tire. After that, Lance got the group to stand up straight, tilt their heads back, and flail their tongues from side to side. It looked ridiculous.

“Does this even do anything?” Asked Keith. 

“Y-yes.” Stuttered Lance as he tried to suppress a giggle. “You can stimulate your facial muscles by moving your mouth and tongue around. The end result depends mostly on your skeletal features, so as a rule I can’t say for sure, but I believe you can work off some of the fat in your face. I also recommend a massage after your lift-up exercises. It should feel like this. Excuse me Moontow.”

Lance put his hands on her cheeks and squished her face up so her lips were puckered in an exaggerated manner. He then gently pulled back so her mouth was a thin line. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Hey! Don’t play with my face!” She snapped. 

“Sorry.” Said Lance. “I needed to demonstrate how it’s done. If you stick to this routine your looks should improve.”

“Is that so…” As they were talking, the other three copied what Lance had done to their own faces. They couldn’t help but chuckle at how dumb everyone else looked.

“Yep.” Said Keith. “Now remember to keep up your end of the deal too. You won’t do bad things anymore.”

“... Sure.”

Lance smiled and clapped his hands. “Alright. Well, come on you guys. Time to go to lunch.”

“Okay.”

“Hey!” Snapped Keith. “That hobbit never gave me back my coupons!”

Moontow rolled their eyes and handed them back to Keith. “I didn’t even want this anyway. I thought I picked up a wad of cash, but it was just some worthless garbage.”

“GARABAGE?!” Cried Keith. “Bitch I can drop kick you into the trash!”


	128. Stress (Royal AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a little bit of tension between Yurak and Lance because of cultural differences. Remember people! COMMUNICATION! IS! KEY! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After Lance and Krolia came back from the wilds, she was a little more accepting of their courting, but did threaten to remove Lance’s reproductive parts with a rusty nail if he did anything to Yurak. Yurak had no idea what was going on, but he was glad that his mother and Lance seemed to be on good terms.

Later that evening, Yurak washed the body paint off his fur. It made him feel bad to wash away such a beautiful design, but it made his fur feel weird, so he needed to clean himself. He was nice to feel clean again. Once he was cleaned and dried he went back to his room. Lance was there. He too had cleaned himself up so he was no longer wearing body paint.

Yurak had asked Lance if he wanted to sleep in the same bed as him since they were courting each other. It seemed like it might be the next step they should take. Lance seemed to be all for it since he was there, right now… in his night clothes.

He smiled up at Yurak. “You feeling better now?”

“Yeah… I think I got all the paint off… A lot of the servants were giving me odd looks.” Said Yurak as he got into bed.

“They thought it was weird, didn’t they?” Asked Lance.

Yurak nodded. The body paint thing was such an odd thing to the Galra in general. No one really got it, but just accepted it as some kind of off Altean thing. Yurak still thought it was weird, but he was happy that it meant that they were getting closer together. He moved a little closer to Lance and sniffed him a little. 

Lance smelled like flowers. But it was a soft smell. Kind of earthy too. Yurak liked it. Smelled like Lance. The Altean raised an eyebrow as he looked at him. “Um… What are you doing there buddy?”

“Sniffing you.” Said Yurak. “You smell nice.”

Lance blushed a little and smiled. “Thanks? I just used some soap and body wash.”

“It smells nice.” Said Yurak quietly. “So… What happened when you went off with my mother?”

“Krolia took me to the wilds to hunt.”

“... She what?” Asked Yurak in shock. “Are you serious? She shouldn’t have done that! You’re not a hunter! Heck, we don’t even let kits go out in there alone! You don’t know what is out there!”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Relax, we both came back fine… And I got to see some baby photos, so I won.”

The Duke could feel dread forming in the pit of his stomach. “... What do you mean baby photos?”

“Krolia showed me some cute baby photos of a certain baby Galra in a little red jumpsuit.”

“...” Yurak hid under the covers and put a pillow over his head. Hopefully he would suffocate and kill himself. His parents only seemed to take photos of him when he was doing something stupid and embarrassing. Like eating couch stuffing or when he thought it was a good idea to cover himself in mud. It was all well and good until he got out of the mad and it set like a rock. He was hissing an absolute rage for vargas after he was cleaned. Mostly because he was cleaned. He didn’t like getting wet when he was little.

Lance chuckled and lightly poked his arm. “Come on. It was cute. Your baby photos were adorable. I liked the one where you had some animal hanging out of your mouth.”

“Krolia told you the story behind that one, didn’t she?”

“They wouldn’t let you have a pet and you put a frog that secretes hallucinogens in your mouth to try and sneak it onto your house. You were off your tits for a movement.”

“... I am going no contact with her for telling you that.”

“You’re overly dramatic.” Lance sighed and lied down next to him. 

Yurak paused for a moment before he peeked out from behind his pillow. Lance was still there and he was smiling at him. Their closeness was making Yurak’s fur puff up again. He was so close and so pretty, and his skin looked so smooth. He wanted to touch him, but was that okay? He still wasn’t sure what Lance wanted or would expect from him in this circumstance. 

“Not overly dramatic… It’s embarrassing.” He muttered. “I… Just… It’s embarrassing.”

Lance chuckled and smiled at him. “We all do embarrassing things as babies. I put a rock up my nose when I was a baby.”

“... Really?”

“Yep. Hurt a lot, and hurt more when the doctor had to pull it out.” Said Lance. “... Then I shoved the same rock but up the same nostril.”

“Ah…”

Lance shrugged. “I was not a very smart child.”

“Agreed… Children are dumb.”

“Yep...” Lance hummed a little and slowly pulled the pillow away from Yurak’s face. He smiled softly at him and it made Yurak’s heart race in his chest. Why was he looking at him like that? Should they kiss? Kissing probably came before having sex with Altean’s right? It came first before doing anything too intimate with Galra too.

Yurak quickly leaned forward and lightly pressed his lips against Lance’s. He was pretty sure Altean’s knew what kissing was. Lotor and Allura did it at their wedding and he had seen a few couples doing it on Altea, so Lance would be okay with that. Right? Alteans wouldn’t have sex before kissing, right?

He moved his head back a little, but Lance quickly chased after him and pressed his lips more firmly against Yurak’s. The Galra knew the fur all over his body puffed up like crazy. He could feel Lance running his fingers over his shoulder and gently squeezing his biceps. Yurak didn’t really know what to do with his hands, but he awkwardly reached out and his hands ended up on Lance’s chest and hip. That seemed like the right move.

Lance pulled back slightly and smiled at him. “You wanna have some fun?”

“...” If Yurak’s fur was any longer he would have been a really big puff ball by now. “F-fun? Like um… I… Y-you’re not having fun now?”

Lance shrugged. “Well, kissing is fun but he can do a little more if you like?”

Yurak suddenly became very nervous. Maybe sharing sleeping areas meant sex to Altean’s? Sleeping just meant sleeping to him. What did this mean? What was he meant to do? Should he try and initiate something? He didn’t get it.

Lance winced and very carefully moved Yurak’s hands off of him. “Ouch… Sharp claws… Retract them...”

“Sorry!” Yurak quickly let Lance go like he was made of fire. “M-maybe I should go and sleep in the guest room…”

“What? But it’s your room.” Said Lance. “... Did you think I was suggesting sex or something?”

“Well…”

Lance chuckled a little and brushed some hair out of his own face. “Yurak, I wasn’t thinking sex. You’re just so stiff right now and uncomfortable. Want a massage?”

That confused the Duke slightly. He hadn’t pulled a muscle or was injured. “Why would I need one?”

“You’re kind of high strung when you’re around me because you have no idea how to act around Alteans.” Said Lance in a matter of fact kind of way.

“... I’m not high strung… Fine. Give me a massage.”

He rolled onto his stomach and moments later he felt Lance climbing on top of him. His hands were on his shoulders. His hands weren’t nearly as strong as a Galra’s. Alteans tended to be weaker than Galra, but Lance was really leaning into it to get some force behind what he was doing. It felt like a small animal was running across his back.

Yurak sighed and rested his chin against his pillow. What was he even doing? This was moving really fast in his opinion. By now most Galra would be holding hands and hunting together in their courting. Not touching like this. Lance was so intimate. He didn’t like it and it was really grating on his mind and causing him stress.

He wanted to be close to Lance. He wanted to be intimate with him and give him what he needed to make him feel like he was a worthy partner. He wanted to be worthy of Lance. It was stressful. All he knew was that Altean’s needed a lot of touching to take courting seriously. He would just have to suck it up and let it happen.

He gasped a little when he felt Lance pressing hard against his spine. “Dude, you have so many knots in your back. You need more massages.”

“M-massages are therapeutic.” Mumbled Yurak. “Only when you get injured…”

“I know. Krolia mentioned that…” Lance sighed and pressed his hands flat against Yurak’s back. “Yurak… I know that you aren’t used to this, and you probably think I have expectations, but I don’t. If you’re uncomfortable with this, then you need to tell me. I know Galra aren’t as touch orientated as Alteans. If you need me to, or want me to stop I will.”

“... S-stop… Please…”

Lance got off his back and sat next to him. “Are we moving too fast for you?”

“... I don’t want to do something and have you expect me to do something else.” Muttered Yurak. “I… I’m sorry… I mean, I don’t even know anything about Altean biology, other than where I need to stab you to kill you… So I wouldn’t even know how to please you when we get that far… If we get that far… You’ll probably eventually tell me to stop being so… I believe your people use the term prudish?”

Lance sighed and gently ran his fingers through Yurak’s hair. It felt nice. “Yurak… Don’t make yourself uncomfortable just because you think this is what I want… I’ll go back to the guest room tonight.”

He stood up to leave, but Yurak felt kind of panicked. What if this was the end of their courting? What if this meant Lance was done with him? He didn’t want that. He quickly reached out for Lance and held his wrist as he got to the edge of the bed.

“No, wait!” He said quickly. “Lance, please don’t go… Please…” He didn’t want him to go, but he didn’t really know how to voice that. Anything he could think of died on his tongue before he could vocalise it. But he did manage to squeak out a few words. “Stay with me tonight… Please?”

It didn’t take much convincing for Lance to fall back into Yurak’s bed. However they weren’t as close as they were before. Yurak felt like he had done something wrong, even if Lance didn’t say it was him, he knew it was because of him. He made things weird. He rolled onto his side facing away from Lance. He didn’t like how this was turning out.

He suddenly felt Lance’s arms wrap around him. “Lance?”

“Shush.” Muttered Lance. “You’re stressed… Just let me hold you… And I’m trying to be comforting here. I don’t care as much about sex as you think I do. I just want you to be happy… Courting isn’t meant to be stressful. It’s meant to be fun.”

Yurak knew that Lance was right, but how could Lance not stress? He was Galran and Lance was Altean. They weren’t the same. They were really different. Both in terms of culture and physiology. 

“...I’ll give you a crash course in Altean biology if you give me a crash course in Galra biology?”

“Deal.”

“Good.” Lance took one of Yurak’s wrists and rubbed it against his neck. “There. Now I’ve been scented. Let’s get some sleep.”

Yurak didn’t have the heart to tell him that his scent glands weren’t stimulated enough to scent him. But he appreciated Lance trying. That small gesture calmed him enough to make him feel a little better. He hadn’t messed up. Lance still liked him enough to try and get him to scent him. This was a really good sign. They’d talk more tomorrow.


	129. Second attempt (HolyHell AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lordy lord, Keith is back at it again with his bullshit. Will it work? Who knows! Read and see. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Also here is a pic of baby demon Keef. He precious and angee;  
> https://www.deviantart.com/underzeweather/art/Baby-demon-Keith-848890237

The drive in was relatively full, but Lance managed to get a good spot. He had picked up Hunk and was going to watch the movie with him, while the Holt siblings would share their own car. It was fine. Lance and Hunk were pretty good friends. In fact, Hunk was considered the co leader of the A.A meetings. Now, Hunk wasn’t an alcoholic by any stretch of the word, but his uncle was, and Hunk had helped him through it. Hunk was the one responsible for helping switching the A.A meetings to the church over the community center.

He was a really sweet guy. Loved baking, he owned a little pastry shop in town, and was just all around a great guy. Though he did kind of have a weak stomach when it came to a lot of things. Guy was motionsick too.

“So these old movies aren’t too gory, right?” Asked Hunk as the group got out of their cars to grab food and drink before the movies start.

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Doubt it. Lots of fake blood though.”

“I hope they show some old school dracula.” Said Matt. “They had armadillos running around in those movies because they looked so weird and demonic back in the day.”

Lance chuckled. “Well, lots of people find things they don’t understand demonic. It’s still very funny.”

Pidge chuckled as they scratched their arm. “Yeah, don’t worry about it Hunk. Lancy-Lance will protect you from the scary demons.”

“Only if they are affected by religious things.” Said Lance. “Vampires? Yes. Godzilla? No.”

“Could you ward off zombies?” Asked Matt curiously.

“Only if the bodies were reanimated due to demonic means.” Said Lance. “Science based zombies will eat my ass no matter what.” He looked at the menu. “... Hunk, if I get a giant popcorn do you want to share?”

‘Yeah sure.” Said Hunk. “Want me to get your drink?”

“Aw, thanks man.” Said Lance. “Large cola and I’ll shout you a refill.”

“Deal.”

Once the group had gotten their supplies they went back to their cars and settled down to marathon the movies. First up was Frankenstine. A good classic movie. Lance liked moments like this.

While Lance was a Pastor, he was still a young adult. He liked going out to movies and hanging out with his friends. It’s nice to pretend he’s not a Pastor for a few hours and just be a normal man. Sure he still didn’t really do too many things… Like going out for drinks at a club or whatever. Then again there were no clubs to go to in this town anyway. He at least couldn’t pick up any cute girls, let alone boys.

He sighed a little as he ate his popcorn. It would be nice to be able to pick up someone. Even if it was just for a one night stand… If he knew he wouldn’t feel any guilt the next day he probably would do it. Doubted anyone would want to sleep with a Pastor, unless they had a very specific kink… That or they were Keith. 

Keith was kind of a messed up guy. What kind of guy wanted to fuck a Pastor? … Someone with a really, really specific kink, probably. Did Keith have some kink where he wanted to get “punished” by someone in the church, or did the biker want to fuck him? Damn sexy biker. So socially awkward, but he just seemed so desperate to get into his pants. The guy probably wasn’t used to people saying no to him. 

He was such a jerk… Some sexy bad boy jerk that appeared in his dreams… That grabbed his ass… That told him to be his bride… Yeah, Lance was really sexually repressed. Celibacy was difficult when Keith was just so… So Keith…”

About halfway through the second movie, Hunk ducked out to go to the bathroom, and to make a quick call. Lance didn’t mind, though it did mean he was kind of stuck half watching a movie, half thinking about Keith. He wondered how far his dream would have gone if he had kept dreaming? Just the question made his dick twitch in mild interest.

Lance groaned in annoyance and hit his head against the car seat. This was dumb. He was dumb. Keith was hot, and under any other circumstances then he would happily jump on that dick of his or like, fuck him. He was good for either.

“This movie is dumb.” Muttered Keith from the backseat. “They didn’t even use real blood in this or fake blood. It’s chocolate sauce.”

“Yeah, well that… KEITH?!” Lance spun around and stared at the biker who was happy enough to just sit there and down his bottle of tequila.

The biker raised an eyebrow and put a finger to his lips. “Not so loud. There’s a movie playing.”

***

Once Keith’s headache was gone he went about trying to figure out where Lance would be so they could talk again. Surprisingly it was pretty easy to figure out. People in small towns really stuck to their routines like they had severe OCD. A little strange, but Keith was happy enough to use this to his advantage. Just by listening to any talk about the Pastor, Keith was able to overhear some old woman talking about Lance and how they wished that the drive ins showed more wholesome movies.

So Keith just wandered over there, jumped the fence, because fuck paying for entry, and slipped into Lance’s car with a bottle of tequila in hand when the other human left the car. Keith didn’t much appreciate the shock in Lance’s voice when he made his presence known.

“What are you doing here?” Hissed Lance.

Keith shrugged and drank some more tequila. He honestly thought he grabbed a bottle of Jack, but he grabbed Ulaz’s tequila instead. He would be pissed off at him when he found out. But that fucker could go and snort some cocaine.

“Your door was unlocked so I decided to come in and see you.” Said Keith. “So, what’s going on in the god sphere?”

Lance groaned in frustration. “Keith… You can’t just come inside someone-”

“I ask if they want to use a condom first.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“I’m guessing you weren’t talking about sex?”

“Of course I wasn’t going to talk about sex!” Snapped Lance. “I was going to say you can’t come inside someone’s car without knocking first.”

“Do I have to wear a condom to do that?”

“... No.”

“Then I don’t see the problem.” Keith drank some more before he offered the bottle to Lance. “Tequila?”

Lance looked at him in disbelief. “I’m driving.”

“So? I drink all the time. I still drive.”

“... Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Should a Pastor be using the lord’s name in vain?”

“I’ll ask for forgiveness later.” Muttered Lance. “You shouldn’t be drinking and driving. You could kill yourself or other people!”

Keith sighed and slumped into his seat. Alcohol was like water to a demon… Okay, it gave him a little buzz, but that was about it. It didn’t really fuck with him like it did with humans. Humans were fucking weak when it came to alcohol… Apart from the Russians and the Germans. He was pretty sure some of them could out drink him if they really, really tried. Well, Antok had warned him of the dangers of those humans.

“Fine, I won’t drive.” He lied. Keith looked up at the movie and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s bullshit. Demons don’t catch on fire around crosses and that junk.”

Lance glanced back up at the screen. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Keith leaned forward and grabbed a handful of popcorn. “Yeah. Besides, most religious iconography doesn’t actually hurt demons. It annoys them. It’s because they have been conditioned over years to know it’s a dangerous thing. Like seeing the dollar symbol, or a symbol for a car. It’s just a thing they have learned to avoid. It only hurts if you believe it will hurt them.”

“... So, Tinkerbell logic?”

“What?”

“You know; I do believe in fairies. I do. I do?”

“... So, people make out and fuck at these things, right?”

Lance groaned in annoyance and settled into their seat. “I’m still celebate. Not going to fuck you.”

Keith didn’t want to do this, but his mother was a genuine, bonafide succubus. With the flick of her wrist she could seduce any man or woman she pleased. Just her existence was enough to drive human crazy to the point of insanity… So she doesn’t come to earth very often. She also kind of has the huge problem of literally fucking people to death. They mostly died of heart attacks, but still. The point was, Keith, while he might not be a full succubus, had succubus traits.

Keith moved slightly and let his tail slip out of a small hole under one of the belt loops. He flicked the tip of his tail a few times so the tip would expand into its proper spade shape. At the very tip, with a bit of flexing, a small stinger like protrusion extended from the very tip of the spade. It was a bit of a dirty trick, but a demon has to do what a demon has to do.

He leaned forward and loosely wrapped his arms around Lances shoulders. He felt the human freeze up under him. “Lance… Everyone has a libido. Just using your hand isn’t always enough is it?”

“... Sex is the only thing running through your mind, huh?”

“Hey, I might be a little pushy, but if you’re worried about me forcing you to do anything, that just isn’t me… Plus Kolivan would beat my ass if he found out I sexually assaulted someone. We have a pretty strong code of conduct.”

“I-I see…” Lance attempted to move his hands away from his body. “A-and what is part of your code of conduct?”

“Just a few simple things.” Said Keith as he snaked his tail around to find Lance’s leg. “Stuff about not hurting kids. Not going overboard when it comes to fighting people. Killing random people isn’t allowed. Rape is deffinetally not allowed… Though threatening it is fine. Depends on the situation.”

“... I feel like you guys have done some really, really shady things if that is part of your code of conduct…”

“Said the guy that follows the laws in a dusty old book that says raping a woman is fine if you pay her father off for it.” Keith knew his bible.

“... Touche. Does this mean you actually know the bible or just Atheist rebuttals?”

Keith shrugged as he ran his hands along Lance’s arms. They were well toned but kind of soft. He liked it. He leaned forward a little and took his time to inhale Lance’s scent. “I know a fair bit about religion. Consider it a special interest of mine. I have a general knowledge of the big five and some of the more obscure ones.”

“The big five?”

“Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, and Budaism.” Said Keith. “They are the top five religions in the world… Is my knowledge of religions turning you on?”

“People don’t say no to you a lot, do they?” Asked Lance quietly.

Keith chuckled, and grinned when he felt Lance shiver under his hand. Time to strike. He quickly jabbed Lance in the thigh with the tip of his stinger. The stinger broke off, but that was okay. It was meant to do that. Though it would be about a week before he was able to grow another one. He moved one hand up and lightly ran his fingers over Lance’s neck. His pulse was already speeding up. Lance should be a little more responsive to suggestions now. All he had to do was get Lance to kiss him and then the real fun could begin.

“Despite what you might think, I do know how to take no for an answer. I just like you.” Purred Keith. “You’ve caught my interest, Pastor. Before I knew you were a Pastor I wanted you… Who dictated you should deny yourself your natural urges? Your god or the church?”

“... Keith I-”

“Your devotion to your religion is admirable, but be realistic. You’re only human… Be my bride.”

Lance froze for a moment before he quickly turned around. “Excuse me? What did you just say to me?”

Alarms were going off in Keith’s head. This was not right. Something was wrong here. The venom in his stinger should have had immediate effect. Lance should be like putty in his hands right now. He shouldn’t be getting angry at him. Did his venom not work? He stabbed him right in his jeans. His stinger was thick enough to stab through it. Why didn’t it work? Was it because Lance was a Pastor? He had some kind of faith based, divine protection? He needed to retreat and figure this out.

“Um…”

Suddenly the passenger door opened up and the other human sat back in. “Just so you know one of the toilets is out of order and-” He quickly spotted Keith in the backseat with his arms draped across Lance’s shoulders. “Um… Am I interrupting something?”

“Just needed to ask the Pastor a few questions.” Said Keith. “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, Lance.” Keith quickly slipped out of the car and walked quickly back to where he left his bike. When he was far enough away from people he grabbed his tail and inspected the tip of it.

It was a clean sting. The whole stinger was pulled out when he jabbed Lance. He didn’t understand. He needed to talk to Shiro about this. Maybe Antok? He was an Incubus. He would have a vague idea about succubus biology… Though that thought made him cringe a little. Knowing Antok he’d grab Keith by his tail and hoist him into the air to inspect his tail. He was gonna end up with all the blood rushing to his head. Not fun.

At least he still had his tequila… Which he didn’t have… Because he dropped it when he left the car. “Fuck.”

***

Lance was quietly screaming. That was just a coincidence, right? Keith telling him to be his bride… That was… It was all just a coincidence. Either way that just made him uncomfortable. “I’m going to go to the bathroom…” Muttered Lance. “Maybe get something to eat…”

Hunk gave him a concerned look. “Okay…”

He quickly left the car and walked to the concession stand. Keith was way too much. Way, way too much. As he got closer to the stand he went to grab his wallet only to find he couldn’t get his hand in his pocket. He looked down and was surprised to see that he had a thorn looking thing sticking out of his pocket. 

Lance pulled it out, tossed it away, and was able to take his wallet out. Though his pocket and his wallet now has some weird oil stain on it. He had no idea what he brushed up against to get this, but damn, these were some of his favourite jeans.


	130. Island (Monster AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting interesting on the island. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Early the next morning Keith noticed that Shiro wasn’t there in the room with them. He frowned and looked around outside. Shiro wasn’t too far away. He was looking at a tree with weird objects growing on it. He walked over to him. Shiro seemed to be picking these things off the tree.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

Shiro looked over at him and continued to pick. “Getting food… Keith, are things different with Lance? Like, did he have venom before?”

Keith shrugged. “No. He’s changed since I last saw him. Along with the venom and the muscles in his legs growing oddly, he said that I smell sweet… I apparently only smell sweet when I’m hungry. But I am not hungry now… I don’t get it.”

“I don’t think Lance is human anymore.” Said Shiro calmly.

“Yeah…” Muttered Keith. He figured that there was something different about Lance. His scent had changed slightly. It was still delicious, but smelled a little different. Even when he ate Lance the other night he tasted a little different. Still delicious, but he still liked the taste. It was still Lance. He didn’t really know what was going on with Lance, but he seemed to be okay. “So you’re getting food for the two of you?”

“Yes.” Shiro walked back to the small building with Keith closely tailing him. “So…” He said. “This is your home, huh? You just… You just want to live here?”

Keith thought for a moment. He did feel a lot better now that he was on the island, but there was still a lingering anticipation. There was something else here on the island that he wanted. He wanted to go back to where his ancestors lived. He wanted to go back to the enclosed cave system. He didn’t know why. It was just where he wanted to go.

They got back to the room and Keith gently woke Lance up. “Hey, come on Lance. It’s morning. Time to get up. Shiro has food.”

Lance hummed softly and slowly opened his eyes. They were such a pretty blue. He sat up and stretched. “Food?”

“Yeah, apples.” Shiro dusted off the bedside table and placed a few on there for him. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Lance sat up and ate this apple thing. Keith couldn’t help but watch Lance eat. He hadn’t really seen Lance eat much, so he found it kind of fascinating. Lance didn’t seem to mind and just carded his fingers through Keith’s hair as he ate. Apples smelled sweet. “So, what now?” Asked Lance.

“I’m going to keep exploring the island.” Said Keith. “I want to find a way to get inside the island.”

“Like a cave system?” Asked Lance.

Keith nodded. “Yes. I just… I want to go deep underground. I don’t know why but it feels right… Do you want to stay here and rest some more? You seem a little out of it or something.”

Lance shook his head. “No. I want to go with you.” He rested his head on Keith’s shoulder. “... You still smell sweet. Are you hungry?”

“No, I’m good for now.” Said Keith. He really, really wanted to start exploring the island. There were things he really needed to see. What were those things? He didn’t know, but he needed to see them.

“Then let’s go.” Said Lance. He stood up and stretched. 

“Yeah…” Muttered Shiro. “I’ll um… I’ll show you where I think you want to go…” The trio walked out of the lodgings and walked down a paved path. They passed a few smaller buildings. They were still standing, but most of the glass in the windows had broken. “That was the mess hall over there.” Said Shiro. “Over there was the large equipment maintenance building.”

“How do you know all of this?” Asked Lance. “It sounds like you know this abandoned place pretty well…”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. I’m a speleologist, specializing mostly in speleomorphology.”

“In english?”

“I study cave systems and how they change over time.” Said Shiro. “That’s why I was first brought in on project Pupa. For the first two months I was given data about the cave system of this island… I was part of a team that came here to collect core samples of fungus and insects before I met Keith… Apparently my dedication to tracking and finding links between the many cave insects caught their attention and helped them to decide my skills would be best if I focused on Keith…”

“So you have a vague idea of where everything is?” Asked Lance. “Will those people come back?”

“More than likely. When they are out of core samples they will come back to collect samples and record any changes that have happened in the cave systems.” Said Shiro. “Shouldn’t happen for another month or so.”

Keith didn’t like the sound of that. But maybe if he hid deep enough in the caves then they wouldn’t find him? Maybe. He just wanted to crawl back into the earth. Just as far away from humans as possible. If humans lived above, then he would live below.

After a few more minutes of walking they came to a large grey building. It looked like a large grey box. A few of the windows were broken like all the others, but it seemed to be in slightly better condition than the other buildings. Keith felt a shiver down his spine when he got close to the building. What he was looking for was in there.

***

Lance didn’t really know how to feel about all of this. He was still processing everything he had just learned in the last few hours. Did this mean that if Keith was born a woman that Rachel would be standing here now? Would she be in this situation instead of him? He shuddered to think that she would be going through this torture.

Also the lingering smell of sweetness was just permeating the air here. At first he thought it was because Keith was hungry, but the smell was coming from all around them. As he looked around he couldn’t help but notice a few small vents that just jutted out of the ground. One of them was quite close to the path that they were walking along.

“What’s that?” He asked as he pointed to it.

Shiro looked at it and shrugged. “An air vent. There are a few placed near where the researchers set up equipment years ago. Why?”

“No reason…” If those vents really did go directly into the caves, then did that mean that Lance was also reacting to Keith’s biological ancestors? Granted he wasn’t becoming placid and compliant when he smelled their pheromones, but still. He seemed to have some kind of reaction to them… Would they have a reaction to him? How big were these insects anyway? He was… Worried.

They entered the building and Lance noted that it was oddly clean. Well, cleaner than what he expected most abandoned buildings to be. Then again Shiro did mention that there were a few people coming here for core samples.

As they walked down the halls a diagram in a room caught Lance’s eye. The door was unlocked, and he doubted that the others would miss him if he was quick. He slipped into the room and looked around. There were a few diagrams around, mostly of coloured insects. Insects that he didn’t recognise.

The diagram looked a little like some insect that was a cross between a praying mantis and a dragonfly… Though it did have several sets of compound yellow eyes on each side of its head. Out of curiosity, Lance looked through some of the drawers. All of them were pretty much empty, but Lance kind of expected it to be like that. The only thing he found in the drawers were a few empty jars, some lids, and pen caps.

But in the very back of a drawer at the very bottom of a cabinet he found a picture frame. Lance took it out and had a look at it. The frame thicker than a standard frame, but that was to be expected when inside the frame was a taxidermied insect. It looked a little different to the diagram poster on the wall. 

It had five sets of compound eyes on each side of its head, dangerous looking pincers, and mantis looking arms. But the lower half, the thorax, looked more like it came from a centipede. It also had moth wings. It was like someone had glued several different insects together. Its carapace was dark purple with flecks of maroon throughout. Under it were two words used to identify what it was.

_spelunca Anthropophagos,_

He had no idea what that meant. Well, he kind of guessed that spelunca might mean cave because spelunking was a thing, and that meant cave exploring. So this thing was a cave something… He still had no idea what that other big word was.

“Lance?”

He turned around to see Keith standing in the doorway. He seemed a little concerned. “What are you doing?”

“I found some stuff.” Lance held up the frame. “I know this is a long shot, but do you know what this is?”

Keith walked over to him and looked at the insect. Shiro followed behind him. He ran his fingers over the glass and shrugged. “Not a clue. Shiro?”

The older man sighed and nodded. “Yeah, this is the cave’s apex predator, and your genetic ancestor, Keith. The spelunca Anthropophagos… or more commonly known at the facility as the cave cannibal. When in its larval stage, depending on their environment they can mutate several times to best suit their surroundings, but once they reach adulthood they are stuck in their physical form forever and can’t mutate and adapt anymore.”

“So I came from that?” Asked Keith quietly. He touched the glass again and seemed to have a fond look on his face. For the first time in his life he was getting answers as to where he came from and what he was. “Can I keep this?” 

“Go ahead.” Said Shiro. “I don’t think anyone knows it’s here anyway.” 

Keith smiled a little and held the frame close to his chest. It was like a precious family photo to him… and in all honesty, it probably was. Keith didn’t have a family. Not when it came with humans, but he might have a family with insects. It made Lance feel kind of sad, but he did like seeing Keith look happy.

“... I’ll leave this here for now though.” Said Keith as he carefully put the frame down on the table, like he was afraid he would break the frame. “Let’s keep looking around.”

The group continued to look around. Lance found a few more papers, but most of them were unreadable or just scraps that had no context. There was nothing to tell him what they were for. It was annoying, but Keith seemed to be becoming more animated as they got deeper and deeper. 

They eventually got to a set of large metal doors. They watched as Keith quickly ran to them and tried to push them open. Obviously it didn’t work. 

“Shiro, open this.” He demanded.

“I can’t.” Said Shiro. “I don’t have the key card to do so… But that is the only entrance into the cave.”

Keith did not seem very pleased to hear that and started to look around the corners and edges of the door to see if there was a way in. “Is there another way into the cave?”

Shiro shook his head. “Sorry, there are a few entrances, but they are only the size of a small animal. You wouldn’t be able to get in.”

“I’ll find a way…” Muttered Keith. “I just have to… Maybe the floor above it? The walls next to it? I have to get in there… I… I have to…” He quickly took off down a hallway to try and find a weak point to break through.

Lance sighed heavily and quickly followed him. “Keith, wait up.” He quickly found Keith in the next room over. He was tapping and hitting the small crack in the plaster next to the wall. He was a little obsessed at this point. “Keith?”

“I… I have to get down there.” He muttered. “You can sense it too right? I have to get down there. Whatever is down there is calling me. It wants me there… It’s trying to bring me home.”

Lance was a little hesitant, but he walked up behind Keith and hugged him. Much to his surprise Keith froze. “It’s okay Keith. You can calm down. We’ll get into the caves soon… You don’t have to worry about it. I swear.”

Keith stayed frozen for a few moments before they sighed and moved away from the wall. “I’m sorry…” He said quietly. “I just… I want to get down there. Something is calling me. I can feel it.”

“Yeah… I think something down there is calling me too…”

That seemed to surprise Keith a little. “Really?”

“Yeah… I’m smelling something sweet and it isn’t you. It’s something else… I think it’s the insects underground.” Said Lance quietly as he rested his forehead against Keith’s shoulder. “Keith… I’m scared…”

Keith put his hands on Lance’s arms and let out a long, slow breath. “I’m scared too… I… I actually feel comfortable here. I want to be here. I actually have a place I want to be and it’s so close and I… I’m scared it won’t work out again.”

“Are you going to try and live underground for the rest of your life?” Asked Lance.

“Possibly.” Muttered Keith. “I… I want to go into the cave… I need to go there…”

“Maybe we should look around the island some more first?” Suggested Lance. “We might find something to help break through a wall?”

“I guess…” Keith turned around in Lance’s arms and stared at him with remorse. “I’m so sorry you have to be here… You don’t deserve it.”

In that moment Lance didn’t really know what came over him. He put his hands on Keith’s cheeks and leaned in and kissed him. Keith froze up again and made a weird squeaking noise. Moments later he closed his eyes and slowly leaned into this kiss. He seemed to be receptive to it and wanted to kiss him back, even if it was just for the sensation of something new. Keith still smelled sweet. But it was different from before. It was nicer and made a warm feeling settle in the pit of Lance’s stomach.

When they pulled back Keith looked mildly confused. Lance just smiled back at him. “Keith, it doesn’t matter. Really. I like you… and if none of this happened then I never would have met you… Do you know about the concept of love, or what it is?”

Keith shook his head. “Not really… I think it means you really, really like something?”

“Well in that case I really, really like you.” Said Lance. “You’re some monster thing, but you’re perfect… I… I really care about you and you really care about me. Right? I can’t imagine myself without you anymore…” He couldn’t help it. He loved this monster. Hell, they were literally made for each other, even if romance wasn’t really on their minds when they created them.

“Same…” Said Keith quietly. “Lance? I feel weird…”

“How? What’s wrong?” Lance was instantly concerned with what was going on with Keith.

“I… I don’t know… I feel warm… and funny.” He said quietly as he pressed his hips against Lance’s thigh. Keith was hard.

“... Remember how I talked to you about sex a little while a go? Not really anything in depth, but yeah?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… This is a sex thing isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” This was so awkward. He needed to give Keith a crash course in sex and conscent. Which was kind of hard to do when Keith was experimentally humping up against his leg. “Keith, I know it feels good but please stop for a moment.”

Keith whined a little but stopped. Though he did look like he really wanted to get off by humping his leg. “W-why?” He panted. “It… It feels good…”

“I know Keith.” Said Lance quietly. “Do you love me? Only the people you love are the people you should have sex with… And you have to ask them if they want to have sex with you too. That’s really important. Understand?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I really like you too. Love you… Can we have sex? Does it feel better than this?” He lightly rolled his hips against Lance’s thigh again.

Lance smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Sex feels a a lot better than just humping someone’s thigh.”

“Show me…” Whispered Keith quietly. “I want to know more… Please, I… I want to know more. Teach me… Please…”

***

When the two of them were taking far too long for Shiro’s liking, he went to look for them and took pause when he heard moaning. This was… unexpected. Well, kind expected. He had suspicions that they were a couple. Shiro peeked into the room where the two monsters had run off to. His face went bright red when he saw Keith bent over a desk while Lance was thrusting into him. Keith was moaning as he clawed at the desk and the wall.

Shiro quickly turned around and walked away. He wasn’t going to bother even asking what the hell was going on with them anymore. They could do whatever they want. Shiro didn’t really care. It wasn’t like they could breed or anything… If Keith got pregnant from this he was going to scream.

As he continued to walk through the halls, just far enough away so he wouldn’t have to hear the moaning anymore, he wondered what was going to happen once Keith got into the cave. It had been years since he had been down into the caves. With the rate that the creatures evolve down there, there were probably dozens more new species down there.

He worried about that. He kicked a can and froze. He kicked a can. Why the hell would he kick a can? He picked it up and looked at it. It looked relatively fresh. He picked up the can and tipped it over. A few drops of alcohol fell out of it. It really was fresh. Someone else was on the island.

Shiro started to look around the building to see if there were anymore signs that someone was there. It wasn’t too difficult when he walked up to the second floor. He found more beer cans and bottles. He followed the bottles to a room.

He cautiously entered to see a woman cleaning a gun with several bottles of beer around her. She looked up at him and grimaced. “Who are you?” She asked.

“Takashi Shirogane…”

The woman snorted. “Ah, I see… I’m Krolia Kogane.”

“Keith’s mother…”

“Yeah. I came here to get some more information on how to kill him.” She said calmly. “I failed before, but I’m not going to fail again.”

Shiro froze. “You tried to kill him?”

“Yep. I shot him.” She said calmly. “He flinched slightly and I didn’t shoot him in the face. I just grazed him.” Krolia picked up a can and drank some more. “I was too quick.” She muttered. “Those things… They evolve and adapt extremely quickly. Cut them in half and the part with the brain will quickly turn around and eats its missing half to get enough energy to heal itself… But only the larval stages can do this. Not the adults.”

“... What are you saying?”

“That thing isn’t an adult yet, but he’s close.” She went back to checking her gun. “I know he’s close… Every other hybrid went through a period of mass eating, and then they started to try and head home. If they can’t get home they try to find a dark, damp place before they actually form a real and proper pupa. Once he hatches he can’t evolve anymore. He can die.”

Shiro shuddered. “So you want Keith to pupate so you can kill him?”

Krolia nodded. “Yes. I want to kill him… I want this all to end already… Keith should have never been born. I was a fool applying for this job… Keith’s life has been nothing but suffering. I want to end it quickly… End his suffering.”

“Isn’t that just your guilt talking?”

“Perhaps, but I know Keith is here. Do you really want to try and stop me?” She asked quietly. “I’d rather use all my ammunition on him rather than you.”

“... Are you going to kill Lance too? He’s not exactly human anymore.”

She shrugged. “Lance doesn’t seem to have a taste for human blood. I’m going to have to think about it… Where are those two anyway?”

“Um…”

“... They are fucking aren’t they?”

“Maybe…”

“Another hint that this thing is about to become an adult.” Krolia muttered. “Sudden increased libido.”

“... What if nothing bad happens when Keith pupates?” Asked Shiro. “What then? Are you still going to kill him?”

“I think we have established that I am not a good mother… Hell, I was never a mother. Just an incubator for a monster.” She sighed and drank some more. “You can’t tell them that I am here yet. No good will come of it if you do… I don’t even want anything to do with him until he pupates.”

Shiro wasn’t happy about this at all. He crossed his arms and sight. “Fine… Alright. I won’t mention anything to them. Just clean up your mess. Keith might not notice the beer cans, but Lance will.”

Krolia looked around and frowned. “Fine… You want a way into the caves right? On this floor there is a hole. It’s not big at all. Just the size of a fist, but if Keith wants to, he can open it up and get into the cave that way.”

***

Keith whimpered slightly when Lance pulled out of him. He was shaking. It was all too much for him, but he didn’t regret it. It felt good. Really good. He felt Lance’s arms wrap around him as he moved them both to the floor. Keith sighed contently and cuddled into Lance’s chest. From Keith’s limited understanding about sex he had a question for Lance.

“Lance?”

“Hmm?”

“Does this mean we’re going to have a baby now?”

Lance chuckled slightly and hugged him. “Sorry Keith, but I don’t think we are going to have a baby.”

“What? Why not?” Asked Keith in confusion.

Lance smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “We don’t have the reproductive parts to make a baby… Unless you have some weird stuff going on inside you?”

“... I don’t think so.” Muttered Keith. “I’ve always been called male so I assume that’s what I am…”

“Yeah…” Lance cuddled him some more and kissed his cheek. “Anyway, having sex doesn’t always mean you’ll have a baby. Sex can be just for fun.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Some animals just have sex for fun. Like, humans and dolphins.” Said Lance. “So… Did you have fun?”

Keith nodded and nuzzled Lance’s neck. He smelled good. “Yeah. I had fun. It felt really good… Can we do it again? I want to do it again.”

Lance let out a deep breath. “Later… Possibly when we have a mattress to do it on… Shiro’s probably looking for us… We kind of just ran off…”

“Is sex not something Shiro would approve of?”

Lance shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know… But it’s kind of rude to go and have sex like that… Also, humans in general don’t like watching others have sex. So don’t get any ideas about having sex in front of Shiro.”

Keith nodded and looked around the room. “We should get dressed, right?”

“Yeah. We should.” Lance got up and helped clean the both of them up with some random papers scattered around the place. When they got dressed Keith wanted to keep holding Lance’s hand and touching him. He wanted to kiss him too. Kissing was weird, but nice. Kissing Lance was fun. He wanted to do that more.

“Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to kiss you.” Said Keith quietly.

Lance smiled and quickly kissed Keith on the cheek. “You like kissing huh?”

“And sex.”

Lance chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and sex. Come on.” The two of them walked out of the room and down the hallway. They came across Shiro who was walking out of a smaller hallway. He was blushing a little when he saw them.

“Um… Hi boys…” He muttered. “Um… You done?”

“... You heard us?” Asked Lance quietly.

Shiro nodded. “Yeah… I did… um… yeah…” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, if you two are um… done… There is a shed outside here. You might be able to get some tools from the shed to find something…”

“Sounds like a good idea.” Said Lance. He smiled and Keith and gently squeezed his hand. “What do you think?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Sounds like a good idea.” Keith was happy that he was getting closer and closer to getting into the cave. Also, he was happy that Lance wanted him and they had sex. Things were turning out pretty well for him for once.


	131. Setting out (AtLA AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEP NEW AU! This AtLA (Avatar the Last Airbender) AU takes place a few decades after AtLA but way before Legend of Korra. Also, there are airbenders in this AU because I this is an AU and I wanted airbenders. I'm pretty sure the Harmonic Convergence takes place in LoK, but for convenience sake we'll just say it happened earlier mkay? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was another beautiful day in the Northern water tribe. Lance sighed wistfully as he leaned against the window frame and gazed out at the city of ice. It had been almost forty years since the Northern water tribe fended off the fire nation with the help of the Avatar, but at the cost of Princess Yue. 

Tonight was a solemn celebration dedicated to that night. There might not be an eclipse, but that’s just how it was. They would light small candles and let them float down the canals and out to sea. The ceremony was led by the current princess of the Northern water tribe. Princess Allura. Because of her white hair she was considered a reincarnation of princess Yue.

She also happened to be Lance’s second cousin. So Lance was considered a relatively normal fixture around the palace and was only ever occasionally told to get lost when he stuck his nose into palace business. Today, despite the celebration, there were very few people around, so Lance managed to slip into Allura’s bed chambers to wait for her.

Her dress for tonight’s ceremony was already set up and ready to go. It was beautiful. Trade between the rest of the world had really opened up ever since the Fire Lord Ozai, had been defeated by the Avatar, so her dress was made with some really beautiful materials, like silk and diamonds. It was beautiful.

Suddenly Allura walked in with Romelle, her friend and handmaid, followed her. Allura seemed a little surprised to see him. “Lance, what are you doing here?”

“Came to see my favourite cousin.” Said Lance. “Like, I’m not going to get another chance to after today…”

His cousin sighed and sat next to him. “You’re still going to go?”

Lance nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. I really want to get out there and explore the world Allura… It’s just so big and so much safer not that the fire nation isn’t so… Murdery? Power hungry? Either way, we can travel around a lot more easily. It seems like a good time to do it.”

Romelle nodded in agreement. “Well, Hunk is going back to the earth kingdom tonight..”

“Yeah!” Said Lance. “He’s going to go to Ba Sing Se before he goes to Kyoshi island. After that there’s the Southern air temple and then we’re going to the Southern water tribe.”

“I think you’re missing some places between Ba Sing Se and Kyoshi island.” Said Allura.

Lance shrugged. “Yeah, I guess… But it’s all an adventure. I’ll get to see some family that’s living in the Southern water tribe.”

“... Promise you’ll write to me?” Asked Allura.

Lance nodded. “Of course. I gotta give you some updates from your super cool, waterbending cousin.”

Allura rolled her eyes and sighed. “Alright… I really wish you would stay for tonight though…”

“I’ll light a candle when I’m out at sea.” Said Lance.

“Alright…” She leaned over and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back. “Be safe out there Lance… I expect many stories from you when you come back.”

“You know it Allura.”

***

Hunk hummed to himself as he did a quick stocktake of his things. It was almost the afternoon and he had a lot of interesting things to sell as he traveled through the Earth kingdom; pelts, decorative bones, tools, and jewelry. Water tribe jewelry was all the rage in a few villages close to Ba Sing Se. The pelts were more popular in places like the Northern and Southern air temples. The bone sculptures were good everywhere.

He looked through some of the crates and checked how his spices were going, they were almost completely gone. Just a few small boxes of chillies and salt. The water tribes loved the spices from the Earth kingdom and Fire nation.

Once he was done he leaned against the side of the box and waited for Lance to show up. The water bender was a pretty good friend and his family were loyal customers. They always bought plenty of spices from him.

He had been a little surprised when Lance asked to travel to the Earth kingdom with him, but he was more than happy to take his friend with him, as long as he helped him out a little when it came to selling his wares.

“Hunk!” Called Lance as he happily ran over to him. The man had nothing more with him than a bag on his back and a smile on his face.

“Hey Lance! Come on up.”

The water bender happily got up onto the boat and shook his hand. “I have to thank you again man. I can’t believe that you’re doing this… I can’t thank you enough.”

“Don’t sweat it buddy.” Said Hunk as he shook his friend’s hand. “You ready to get going to see the world?”

“Heck yeah! Need some help getting the boat out to sea?”

“I should be fine. I’ll let you know if this old boat needs a little nudge.”

Lance gave him a little salute and headed down to put his things away. This little adventure was going to be interesting.

***

On Kyoshi Island, a small girl sits on a rock with her hand outstretched. The earthbender wasn’t trying to move and manipulate the stones around her, she was more interested in the small scraps of metal she had taken from her father’s workshop.

She had heard word of the earthbender, Toph, being able to bend metal, and she wanted to do it to. She was going to be the first metalbending Kyoshi warrior on Kyoshi Island… She just needed to actually be able to bend metal first. It couldn’t be that hard though, right? She just needed to be dedicated, have a strong will, and continue to train her body and mind.

“Yo Pidge, you ready to go yet?” Called her older brother.

Pidge yelped in shock and fell off her rock. “Matt…” Shr grumbled. “I was so close… Then you interrupted me…”

The older man chuckled and helped her up. “Sorry about that. I thought you wanted to come with me when I went to Ba Sing Se this time? Ryner would love to see you again.”

Pidge pouted and quickly dusted herself off. “I know. Just let me grab my stuff and we’ll get going to the boat.”

“Okay.” He looked over Pidge’s shoulder and noticed the pieces of metal on the ground. “... Were you trying to metalbend again?”

Pisge kicked at the first and started to walk back to their house. “It’s not like it’s impossible to do so… I mean… Toph could do it, so why can’t I?”

“I’m not saying you can’t… Just that you’ve put a lot of effort into something you aren’t actually that good at.”

“... You’re a jerk. You know that right.”

“Come on Pidge, you know I don’t mean it like that…” Muttered Matt as he followed her. “You’re a good earth bender. You’re really creative, and a good fighter. You’re just as good as our mum. I’m just saying, you could be an even better earthbender if you put more effort into earthbending and less into metalbending.”

“I know…” Pidge still wanted to metalbend. When they got home Pidge was immediately attacked by the family pets; Rover, an iguana parrot that liked to follow Pidge around when they weren’t sitting around eating, and Bae-Bae, a deer-dog that her father brought back from one of his trips to the mainland. She laughed and patted the two of them. 

Her mother said that if Pidge wanted to she could take Rover, because the poor iguana lizard would get stressed if she left for so long without them. The siblings said goodbye to their parents and grabbed their things. Their mother gave them some lunch since it was midday after all. 

The siblings happily ate their lunch as they headed down to the dock to get on the next boat to the mainland. It would be Pidge’s first time off Kyoshi island and she was excited to see what the rest of the world had to offer her.

***

Sitting on top of a hill by Moon bay was a young firebender. He took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out. He let nothing inside his mind but the wind passing through his ears. He was trying to reach a state of inner peace. 

Inner peace… Something he had been trying to achieve for many, many months at this point. This was the whole reason he was here and not in his village in the first place. His temper was just too much and it led to some rather fiery consequences. He may or may not have burned down a few buildings in his village… So yeah, he had some anger issues.

So here he was, kind of semi banished from his village by both the village chief and his father. His father had been trying very hard to help him manage his anger, but with very limited success. It was hard for the both of them, but he wouldn’t be traveling alone.

As he tried to meditate, he heard a small fly buzzing around his head. Which instantly annoyed the hell out of him. He wanted to swat that fly. Set it on fire. Something. Anything. Fuck it. That fly was fucking dead.

He jumped up and angrily yelled as he waved his arms around and tried to grab the fly. “Die!” He yelled as he tried to swat it without setting it on fire. “I’ll fucking kill you! I’ll fucking murder you! I-”

Suddenly a huge gust of wind knocked him off his feet and the young man rolled down the hill and landed in Moon bay. He splashed around a little before he sat up and gasped. He turned around and glared daggers at his companion. An airbender named Shiro.

The man smiled a little at him and held a hand out to him. “You okay there Keith?”

Keith grumbled and accepted Shiro’s hand. A few decades ago there were practically no airbenders at all, but after the harmonic convergence a few decades ago, there now suddenly airbenders all over the place. They were heading across the land to help Keith find inner peace. It wasn’t working too well.

“I’m fine.” Muttered Keith as he stood up. “You didn’t have to launch me into the water you know?”

“Well if you started a fire I thought that it was the best way to put it out.” Shiro smiled at him and patted his back. “Okay. Come on. We have to set up camp for the evening.”

Keith sighed and followed him. “Yeah… How long until we get to Ba Sing Se?”

“A few days, but it’ll be worth it.”

Keith rolled his eyes. He didn’t see how going to the Earth kingdom capital would help him find inner peace. But if Shiro, the calmest, most chill man on the planet thought it was a good idea, Keith would give it a go. They sat around a makeshift fire pit that Keith set himself, and made themselves comfortable for the evening.

***

The boat had taken a lot longer to get out to sea then Lance thought it would. It was already night and Lance could still clearly make out the coastline of the Northern water tribe by the time the stars were starting to come out.

He did feel kind of bad that he wasn’t there for the festival. Allura’s dress would have looked so amazing close up. He sighed loudly as he watched the start of a few lights starting to slowly flow down the canals and out to the sea.

“Are you okay?” Asked Hunk as he offered Lance some dried fish.

Lance took the fish and nibbled it. “I just… I kind of already miss home… First time I haven’t taken part in this…”

Hunk hummed a little and headed below deck for a moment and came back up with a small candle and a little sling with some string. “I know this isn’t much, but if you want to… You could light this?”

Lance smiled, lit the candle, and very carefully lowered it into the water using the sling off the back of the boat. He watched the candle bob around in the water as it drifted further and further away from the boat. It was nice.

Hunk stood next to him and watched the candle. “That’s a really beautiful ceremony… So you’re apparently related to the moon?”

The waterbender nodded. “Yep. “Princess Yue was a distant relative of mine. Technically related to the moon spirit. You’re welcome.”

Hunk nodded a little and looked up at the moon. “Well, stranger things have happened. You’ll probably see stranger things when we get to the Earth kingdom… I can’t wait to show you a turtle duck.”

“... That sounds adorable. I want fifty of them.”

Hunk laughed and patted his back. “Well, you can see what you think of turtle ducks later. You might be able to buy one in Ba Sing Se.”

Lance nodded in agreement. He couldn’t wait to get to the mainland and explore the rest of the world. It was the start of his adventure. Just Lance and Hunk out traveling the world. This was going to be fun.


	132. Tree Top (Monsters and manna AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More monsters and manna shit! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The group managed to make it to a Womblax village in the outskirts of the Jingamine jungle. It was interesting seeing so many people that looked like Pike. Also, Womblax seemed to have two moods, sleepy and hyper. If they weren’t sleeping in tree branches they were running across them.

Pike was very much at home here and climbed up the nearest ladder. He was instantly tackled by several child Womblax. He almost fell out of the tree. Shiro and Valayun went to talk to the village elder. Thundar, Block, and Meklavar were trying to figure out what to do with Bolt.

“... We could shrink him down?” Suggested Meklavar. “You two know any shrinking spells?”

Block shook his head. “Sorry Meklavar. I mainly know healing spells with some attack and defensive stuff. Nothing to shrink an elemental wolf…”

“I don’t really know magic.” Muttered Thundar. “... We’re not going to be allowed up into their treetop village, are we?”

“Probably not.” Said Block. “You know how the Womblax are about dogs… Even though Bolt is a good boy.”

Thundar sighed and crossed his arms. “Um… Okay… Oh! I have an idea! Bolt, play dead.” Bolt stared at Thundar for a few seconds before they turned back into a rock. He grinned and put Bolt into his pocket. “There.”

“Nice idea.” Said Meklavar. “Well, come on. I want to have a look around this village and see what’s going on up there.” 

They happily climbed up a ladder to get to a walkway. Block and Thundar followed after them. They quickly caught up with Shiro and Valayun. They had just finished talking with the village elder. They seemed pretty happy with how things went.

“Hello. Where’s Bolt?” Asked Valayun.

“Thundar got him to play dead.” Said Block. “So he’s back to being a stone. It’s pretty cool.”

“That’s pretty neat.” Said Shiro. “So do you know where Pike ran off to?”

Meklavar shrugged. “Probably getting attacked by kids again. I’ll go and look for him.”

“Me too.” Said Thundar.

“What about you Block?” Asked Shiro.

Block shrugged. “Well, I did see some people drying some fish and birds… So I was thinking about seeing how they cook here and if they have anything that could give us a manna boost or a slight advantage somehow.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Said Shiro.

“What are you two going to do?” Asked Meklavar.

“Shiro and I are going to try and find us some accommodation for the night.” Said Valayun.

“Sounds good.” Said Meklavar. She pushed Thundar down a walkway and across a bridge towards where they last saw Pike.

They quickly spotted Pike getting dogpiled by no less than seven child Womblax climbing all over him while he was trying to stop himself from falling off the branch and to the jungle below. He was doing a pretty good job too. But one of the kits was trying to pull Pike’s tail off the tree branch, which he was using to anchor himself to the tree.

“HEY!” Snapped Thundar. “STOP THAT!”

The kids froze for a moment before they quickly scattered. Pike breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks guys. I was pretty sure I was going to fall over soon…”

“No problem.” Said Meklavar as they helped Pike get onto the main bridge. “So, what’s with the kids?”

Pike shrugged. “What can I say? Kids love me… Also, where is Bolt?”

“He’s back to being a rock.” Said Thundar. He held up the rock to show Pike.

Pike looked at the rock and nodded. “Good. He can stay there.”

“Rude.” Muttered Thundar.

“So, did you grow up in a village like this?” Asked Meklavar.

Pike nodded. “Yeah. My village is kind of more of a town and closer to the Womblex capitol. This place is like on the far, far outskirts of our territory.” He smiled and stretched. “My town is kind of like this, but there’s more walls and stuff to lay on.”

“Neat.”

“Yeah. Where’s everyone else?”

“Shiro and Valayun are getting us some place to sleep and Block’s gone to look at food and stuff.” Said Meklavar. “So, do the kids here just randomly jump on people?”

“Only if you’re a Womblax.” Said Pike. “We’re a very communal bunch.”

“... Will I get in trouble for scaring those kids?” Asked Thundar.

Pike shrugged. “You might get some dirty looks, but that might be it. Not sure. Different villages, different rules. But you probably won’t get out in jail or anything.”

Meklavar chuckled. “Yeah, that would be Thundar’s luck. Thrown into jail for spooking kids.”

“... Shut up.”

***

“Hey guys can pause for a moment?” Asked Hunk. “Gotta check on the cookies, plus I kind of need to go to the little Paladin’s room…”

“Of course.” Said Coran. “I have a few things I need to properly figure out before we get a little too in depth into this village.”

“Okay, thanks. I’ll be back in a moment.” Hunk quickly got up and headed out of the room.

Pidge hummed and slightly punched Lance’s arm. “Glad you actually read up on Womblax. Didn’t think you would.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Excuse me? Pidge, I am doing my best here. Gotta try and immerse myself in this world and stuff, you know? Also, if Bolt does show up someone’s going to try and kill him.”

“I’m not going to put Bolt in danger.” Said Keith.

Pidge nodded in agreement. “Yep. Save the good boy. That is the unwritten rule.”

“Is it really?” Asked Allura.

“Well it is among humans.” Said Pidge as they adjusted their glasses. “Hell, there is a website where you can look up movies and if they have a dog you can search to see if the dog died.”

“Humans form strong emotional attachments to animals.” Mused Allura.

Shiro shrugged. “Well, you are very fond of the space mice.”

“Very true…” Allura’s eyes lit up. “Oh, that reminds me! Pidge, are you missing any of those little round flat things? Washers, I believe they are called? The space mice have acquired a few over the past few movements.”

Pidge thought for a moment. “Um… I don’t think so… Ask Hunk when he comes back.”

“Right. Will do.” Allura took a sip of her drink and glanced over at Shiro. “I liked the way you handled the village elder back there. Very nice.”

Shiro smiled. “Well after interacting with Pike so much I kind of figured that the rest of the Womblex might act a little like him. It was a good gamble.”

“A very good gamble.” Said Coran as he twirled his mustache. “The Womblax are a pretty relaxed people.” 

Lance grinned. “Heck yeah. Us Womblax are just a bunch of cool cats. Just give us a sunny spot and some trees to climb and we’re all set.”

Keith hummed a little to himself as he looked through his notes. “What about head pats?”

“That too.”

Hunk walked back into the room with a plate of fresh cookies. The delicious smell of chocolate chip cookies filled the room. “Hey guys! Cookies are done.”

“You are a literal god!” Praised Lance as he quickly grabbed one and bit into it. He groaned in appreciation. “Hmm chocolate…”

Hunk chuckled. “Well actually, it’s made from-”

“Don’t spoil this for me!” Whined Lance. “Sure these cookies are green and orange, but they taste like choc-chip cookies!”

“Alright buddy.” Hunk patted Lance’s back and held the plate out for everyone to take a few. Once they were all settled in again Coran cleared his throat.

“Alright, everyone all good?” He asked. “Anyone need to grab something to drink? Use the restroom?” No one needed to do anything, so Coran dived back into the game. “Alright, we’re back with Thundar, Pike, and Meklavar on the bridge.”

***

Meklavar hummed a little as she looked over the side of the bridge. “Sturdy workmanship. Why do you guys have your buildings up here anyway?”

“So we don’t get attacked by evil wolves and dogs.” Said Pike.

Thundar pouted. “Wolves aren’t evil. Bolt is good.”

“So far.”

Thundar rolled his eyes and walked back to Shiro and Valayun. “We found Pike.”

“Wonderful.” Said Valayun. “We have some accommodation to look at. Where’s Block?”

“I’ll get him.” Said Meklavar. They wandered off to get him.

Shiro gave Pike and Thundar a look. “Look, we have three rooms. Two beds per room and if you two think that-”

“I am not sharing accommodation with Pike or Thundar.” Said Valayun. “Also, Block and Mekalavar are working on something together… So I guess we have to bunk together?”

“... I guess.” Muttered Shiro.

***

Shiro sighed and rubbed his face. “You all are really doing this huh? You’re really making my character uncomfortable with your depravity.”

Allura shrugged. “I ship Pidar… Did I say that right Pidge? Pidar?”

“Yep.”

Lance gasped and stared at Pidge. “You taught Allura what shipping was?!”

Pidge shrugged. “We were talking and we liked how Pike and Thundar interact with each other. We worked hard on a ship name.”

Lance face palmed. “You gave us a ship name?”

Keith looked confused. “Ship name? What?”

Lance threw his arms around his boyfriend and stroked his face. “Shhhhhhh, babe, you’re too sweet and pure to know about the poison and trash that is fandom… Shhhhh…”

“But-”

“Shhhhhhhh.”

“Lan-”

“Shhhhhh… No talking… Only dreams now.”

“... Are you threatening to knock me out or kill me?”

“...”

“...”

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”


	133. Talking about stuff (Android AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up for our android boys, but of course, there are other things in the work before they can live their own lives... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was excited for today. He had gotten into contact with Matt, like Pidge had said, and was able to get a time to meet up with him. Lance was excited, but made sure that Adam was okay and had everything he needed before he left. Adam said he would be fine for the two or so hours Lance would be away.

So he got to Matt’s shop and walked in just as some random person was walking out with a nondescript bag. When he got inside he saw a man, presumably Matt, shining a boob and putting it back in a display case.

“Ah, hey there. You must be Lance, right?” He said. “Pidge sent me a photo and your measurements.”

Lance nodded and held his hand out to shake his hand. “Yeah, I’m Lance. Nice to meet you. You must be Matt?”

Matt grinned and shook his hand. “Yep. That’s me. Come into the back?”

Lance nodded and followed Matt into the back room. He took a seat on a chair and looked around the room. Lots of boxes everywhere with all kinds of odd parts jutting out of them. As he looked around Matt pulled a chair up next to him and took out a datapad.

“Right.” He said. “I have a few ideas in mind of internal or external things I can do for you.” He showed Lance a few pictures of things that looked very, very weird to him. They were probably inserted pieces? That’s what they seemed like, but he couldn’t really tell just from looking at it. They were confusing to him. “So these are inserted pieces. Some of these are made more for female presenting androids but the entrance piece can be changed out for a piece that either looks like an asshole or like, a vagina.”

“I see…” Lance just looked at the designs and didn’t really know what he wanted. Medically speaking he knew how all this was meant to work. Stimulation and what not.

“Yeah, most of them are obviously from sex androids, but there are some that I pulled from some sex toys. Easy enough to rejig them a little to fit inside you.” Said Matt. “I assume you want something that goes well with what Keith has?”

“Pidge told you about that?”

Matt nodded. “Yep. I’m happy for you guys. You make a cute couple. Anyway, if you use the X-34R model you can pop it out and switch it with an X-33R, X-35R, and X-36R. They are pretty much the same size, but because you’re not a sex android I have to put a pipe inside you to make sure that nothing gets caught in any gears.”

“Right.”

Matt handed him the datapad and let him look through it. “By the way, just because you’re an android doesn’t mean you can put any random thing inside you. You still need to clean yourself out regularly after sex. Use medically approved lubrication only.”

Lance nodded as he continued to look at the datapad. “Huh, okay… What is the difference between these models?”

“For an android? Nothing much. It’s mostly a temperature setting thing which probably wouldn’t do too much for you guys since you can turn your temperature settings on and off.” Said Matt. “Also they mostly come with the vaginal opening but I can graft a different opening onto it to make it look more like a butthole… I could also make it look like a flower.”

“What?”

“Some people have some odd fetishes and kinks.” Said Matt. “Not that I care. Means more money for me since they have to pay extra for that kind of customization.”

“I see… If I get this can I also get a penis?”

“Sure. No reason why you can’t. Let me show you some stuff that’ll look natural on your body.” They spent the next hour or so looking at the datapad and talking about the benefits and complications when it came to fitting different parts into a prototype like himself.

***

Keith had been helping Shiro pack up some of his things ready to move into Adam’s place. Mostly clothes and pots and pans. They would start taking them over to Adam’s place later that day. He was excited. Just a few more months and they could slip away.

When it was just the two of them… They could finally be free. They could live as themselves. Keith couldn’t wait to see how happy Lance would be when they were finally free. They would do whatever they want and be whoever they wanted to be. Lance would love it. He’d be able to experience everything the world had to offer, and Keith wanted to give that to him.

He sighed at the thought. He could just imagine Lance getting excited about running around a beach and going for a swim. Was Lance even waterproof? Well, all androids were waterproof to an extent. Didn’t mean they should be dunked in water. Let alone salt water. But he could see that making Lance happy.

“You okay there Keith?” Asked Shiro.

Keith looked over at him and shrugged. “Yeah. Just thinking about Lance.”

Hearing that made Shiro grin. “Oh? Thinking about taking Lance on a first date?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Most first dates involve eating food and drinking, right? Androids don’t need to eat and drink.”

Shiro laughed and started to sticky tape a box labeled “lounge room junk” shut. “True, but there are lots of places he might like to see. Adam’s said that Lance likes puzzles of the ocean and puzzles with sea creatures. He might like the aquarium?”

“He might…” Muttered Keith. “But we are androids. People will think it’s weird for two androids to go out together like that… Heads will turn…”

“True…” Said Shiro. “Maybe you can walk around the dog park? Lance likes those too.”

“... Yeah, probably.” Lance did seem to love dogs. He had almost as many dog puzzles as ocean ones. “Do you think Lance would like a dog?”

“Do you think you should get one?” Asked Shiro. “A real, living dog is extremely expensive, and I don’t know how he would react to having an android dog as a pet… Also, do you think android animals can become deviants?”

Keith shrugged. “Perhaps. I am unsure. I don’t know if they are programmed with an extensive enough range of emotions to develop the Pygmalion code. Why?”

“Well, I heard that the K9 unit is decommissioning some of their older dogs. They are going to send them in to get them reskinned so they don’t have numbers on their fur anymore and they are going to have their programming wiped so they can have the animal domestication programming installed.”

“You think you can get me one?” Asked Keith.

“Probably.” Said Shiro. “I’ll look into it. It’ll be nice.”

Keith smiled a little and nodded. He really thought that Lance might really like having a dog. He’d talk to him about it when they next met up. That would be nice. He could just imagine it now; him and Lance living in a small house with a fence, some flower bushes… They would have a dog running around the front yard, barking and wagging their tail. Lance would smile and greet him and they would… watch TV because they had no need to eat dinner.

He smiled at that thought. It was a nice dream. He really hoped that he could do that, but then again it might still be doubtful. He didn’t really think they would be able to have that just yet. They still had to fight for it. Keith was willing to do that.

Keith helped Shiro carry out a few boxes to the car outside and they traveled to Adam’s house to start unpacking a few things. Much to Keith’s surprise he found that Adam was home alone. He was sitting on the couch eating cheese and drinking wine.

“Hey you two.” He said.

Shiro smiled and walked over to him, quickly kissing his forehead. “Hey there yourself. Didn’t you say to me that Lance doesn’t want you to eat so much dairy.”

“Which is why I am eating it while he isn’t here.” Said Adam calmly. “Indigestion be damned. I want my Brie and gorgonzola.” Shiro reached out to steal a slice, but Adam quickly hit his finger away with the blunt end of the cheese knife. “Nope. My cheese. Get your own.”

Keith frowned a little as he watched the two lovers in front of him. “So… Where is Lance?”

“Out running some errands.” Said Adam. “He should be back soon.”

The door suddenly opened up and Lance walked in. “Adam, I am back.”

“Shit!” Adam quickly handed the cheese platter to Shiro and wiped the crumbs off his face. “Hey Lance… Keith and Shiro are here.”

Lance quickly hugged Keith as soon as he saw him and grinned. “Hey Keith.” He kissed his cheek. “... Is that cheese?”

“I got it for Shiro!” Said Adam quickly. “Not for me. All for Shiro.”

“...” Shiro cut some Brie off for himself and ate it in front of Adam. Adam shot him a death glare.

Lance just shook his head and turned his attention to Keith. “Come with me?”

“Sure.” The two of them walked back up to Lance’s charging room and sat around. They smiled at each other and kissed each other. Lance seemed to be in a good mood today. Still excited about starting a new life together, probably.

Lance pulled back from the kiss a little and lightly pressed his forehead against Keith’s. “Keith… I um… I talked with Matt about stuff…”

“...” Keith could feel himself blushing. “Oh.”

“Yeah… Would it be weird for you if I got… Um… Some new parts?”

“No. Why?”

“Well, I’ve been looking at parts that compliment yours.” Said Lance quietly. “And Matt said he could fit them in next week so…”

Keith had a feeling he knew where Lance was going with this. “You want to try having sex?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah… I mean, I know what to do and how to do it in a safe way, but um… I think you said you got it for aesthetic reasons? So if you don’t want to… or like, can’t...”

“I can use it.” Said Keith quickly. “Everything is functioning. I mean, I just haven’t activated the program or anything so…”

“Do you mind what I get?” Asked Lance quietly. “I mean, I kind of already chose what I want, but I can-”

“Then it’s perfect.” Said Keith. “Whatever you want to get, as long as it makes you happy then it’ll make me happy too… I know it’s probably deep in your coding that you have to take care of everyone else's needs first, but I want you to be a little selfish and do things just for you too. Okay?”

Lance smiled and hugged him. “Thank you Keith… I love you.”

“I love you too Lance.

***

A klang and a thwack echoed around the hull of the ship. Coran happily emerged from the engine room with Zethrid and Acxa. “And that is that.” He said with a grin.

Zethrid grumbled as she wiped oil off her face. “Whatever.”

Coran would have scolded her for her attitude, but he was too happy at this point. The three of them quickly went to see Allura. She was performing some self maintenance on herself and looked up at them.

“What’s the report on the engine?”

“Repaired.” Said Acxa. “The ship is ready to leave port at any time.”

“Excellent.” Said Allura. She opened a panel on her arm and tapped at it a few times. “... Hunk has finished the solar prototype. Matt can get parts for a few dozen, but we might need to get parts to make our own… Are Lotor and Ezor back from the junkyard yet?”

“They should be back soon.” Said Coran. “Why?”

“Some of the parts that are listed for the solar panels are… Well, we are going to have to steal them.” Said Allura sadly. “I am so sorry. I know this is dangerous but if we can’t create solar energy for ourselves then…”

Acxa put her hand up. “It’s okay. We understand. When Lotor and Ezor get back we’ll formulate a plan to hit the next distribution center… Can I have the parts list?” She held out her hand to Allura. Allura held Acxa’s hand and transferred the list to her.

“When Lotor gets back, sync up and head out. I want our ship out of here and to sea by the end of the month.”


	134. Full salt fries (Modern fantasy AU XVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a really, really good chubby elf boy... and Lance needs a vacation for putting up with all this bullshit. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With all of Keith’s hard work and Lance’s effort in to make sure he was staying dedicated to his exercise routine, Keith was starting to slim down. Keith was standing in front of Lance’s mirror as he lifted up his shirt and happily looked at himself. He actually had a waist line again. Still a little pudgy, but he wasn’t round anymore.

Lance grinned and clapped his hands. “Good job Keith. You’ve done very well.”

Keith grinned and put his hand on his stomach. “Ha, I’ve done pretty well at slimming down. huh?”

“Yeah, you look really good. I’m proud of you.” Said Lance. “You look like you’ve reached your goal already.”

He chuckled. “Ah, not really. I used to have abs, but this is really good. If I lose a little more fat from my core, my body will be back to normal and I’ll be able to get to go back home.”

“That’s awesome. Want to come with me to the supermarket? I have some things to pick up for dinner.”

“Heck yeah!” Keith was pumped. He was in a really good mood and so was Lance.

Keith had made huge efforts and was so close to his goal, but at the same time that made him feel kind of… sad… He had grown used to having Keith around. Keith might have been obsessed with potatoes and kind of lazy, but he was a good person. It would be a little lonely without him around. However he would still have Krolia living with him and everyone else would be coming by, but it wouldn’t be the same without Keith.

As they left the supermarket Keith was talking a bit about the other world and his pseudo family. “-Which means I’m going to get my ass kicked. But Kolivan’s got a good heart. Antok’s a bit of a prick though.”

Lance laughed. “They sound like an interesting family.”

“Yep. But they are my family…” He grinned. “Hey, maybe when I go back to my world it’ll motivate Krolia to try a bit harder and she’ll come home soon too?”

“Maybe?”

“Yeah… I’ll still come and visit though.” Said Keith. His stomach suddenly started to growl. “... I’m hungry.”

Lance laughed. “Don’t worry, we’ll make dinner as soon as we get home. Stir Fry vegetables and brown rice.”

Keith sighed a little and nodded. “Sure… Okay.” However, on their way back home they happened to pass a B.B Burger place. It was a fast food chain in the city. It was very popular, and like most fast food places you could smell the deep fried food from the street. Keith paused for a moment and looked over at Lance. “... I um… I’ve been working really hard on my diet, right?”

“Yeah, you have.” Said Lance. “... Okay, you can get some fries.”

Keith looked like he had been slapped in the face. “Really?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. But only if you get one small fries. It’s a pre-dinner snack after all.”

“Heck yeah!”

“Buddy, you’re acting like a spoiled child.”

Keith shrugged and walked inside. “Come on Lance, I’ve spent my whole life either not getting what I want or trying hard to make what I want and it just looks like a cheap imitation that’s nowhere near as good. Fries never fail to disappoint.”

They got in line and Keith ordered his small fries. As he did the woman behind the counter grinned at him. “Congratulations!” She said. “Today is national potato day, and so this store is handing out a year’s worth of “one free fry” coupons as a present to a lucky customer buying fries. And because of your purchase you were selected! Congratulations sir!” The woman brushed back one of her long blond pigtails and handed over a large stack of coupons over to Keith, along with his small fries. “Here is your year’s supply of coupons. Enjoy.”

Keith stared down at the coupons before he slowly picked them up. “... I… I am the fry king.” He quickly slammed ten of them on the counter. “I want to use ten of them right now!”

“Damn it!” Lance grabbed Keith by the arm. “What are you talking about? You can’t just do that! We agreed on one small fries and that was it!” He looked at one of the coupons and gasped. “These are for one free extra large fries?!”

“Ha! Give me those potatoes!”

“Coming right up sir.”

“Keith, remember what you were saying about going home like five minutes ago?”

That made the elf pause. “... Lance… Sometimes fries are more important than family.”

“Here are your fries sir!” Chirped the woman as she handed over a carryout bag, much to Lance’s horror. “Come back soon!” The two started to bicker as they left the store. If they hadn’t been so distracted, they might have noticed the evil smirk flashing across the cashiers face.

***

A few weeks later Lotor and Shiro headed over to Lance’s place. This was because the last thing they had heard from Lance was that Krolia was heading off to explore the city, and to possibly find more ice cream. 

Lotor was cold and bundled up while Shiro was content with walking around in a jacket. “I hate how cold it gets here… I believe the expression is; I’m freezing my tits off.”

“It’s not that cold.” Said Shiro.

‘Well unlike you I don’t have as much muscle mass to keep me warm.”

“Want to run ahead of me?” Asked Shiro. “It’ll help get your blood pumping and warm you up?”

“Go suck a cyclops dick.”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Someone’s cranky today.”

“I’m cold and cranky.” They got to Lance’s place and knocked on the door. “Lance? Are you there? We’re coming in.” Much to their surprise the door was unlocked. They had a look around and there didn’t seem to be anything disturbed or moved around to indicate a break in. “... Don’t humans usually lock their doors?”

Shiro shrugged and turned on the heater. “Humans do like to lock everything away for weird reasons… They aren’t very trusting. I wonder where those two went?”

“Probably for a walk or something.” He yawned and stretched. “Well, let’s just make ourselves at home until they get back.” 

The two of them sat around Lance’s house. They read his books, watched his TV, and just generally poked around the kitchen to see what was in there. They also made some tea, and Lotor actually took a bath. It was around eight when they heard the front door open.

“Finally.” Grumbled Lotor. “Where were they? We came here and they just ended up wasting our time and-”

“Oh hey guys.” Said Keith as he lumbered into the room. He had doubled his size and looked like he was back to what weight he was when he first started getting help from Lance. Maybe a little heavier, since it looked like he had a double chin and was starting to work on his third. He had a large fries in his hand. Lotor and Shiro’s jaws dropped in shock. “What are you doing here?”

“Holy ancient…” Muttered Lotor. “W-what the fuck?”

Keith gave them a confused look. “You two look like a griffin getting pelted with rocks.”

Shiro quickly regained his composure. “Um… Hi Keith… Where’s Lance?”

“Oh, he’s right behind me.” Keith gestured to Lance. Their rather skinny, slim, well toned man had gotten thicc. He actually had a round belly and while he wasn’t as round as Keith was, Lance was close. Lotor and Shiro almost screamed. Something had happened to these two.

Lotor lept at Keith and started squeezing Keith’s belly and cheek. “WHY ARE YOU TWO SO FAT?! HOLY SHIT YOU’RE A FEW POUNDS AWAY FROM GETTING MAN TITS!”

Keith flailed and attempted to push him away. “Hey stop! I can’t move around in these clothes so much, or they will rip!”

“THEY ARE GOING TO RIP BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT YOU MORON!”

Keith ignored him and offered his fries to Lance. “Want some?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“STOP EATING THOSE FRIES ALREADY!” Lotor was pissed. After seeing the way those two were acting and the fries in Keith’s hand, Lotor had easily put two and two together. “That satyr bitch has really got her hooks into you two!”

Keith was confused. “What are you talking about? We haven’t seen Nyma in months.”

Shiro shook his head. “Keith, I can’t see this happening through any other means besides magic… Maybe you might get this fat by yourself because you have no self control when it comes to fries, but Lance? Can you honestly see him getting this fat without some kind of magic being involved? Did something unusual happen in the last few weeks?”

Keith frowned a little as he thought that over. “Um… Nothing in particular… If I had to choose, it would probably be the time I won a year’s supply of fries…”

“Yeah, that sounds like it.”

Lotor frowned and looked at the fries in Keith’s hand. “Can you pass me those for a moment?”

Keith shrugged and handed them over. “Sure. Have as many as you like.”

“I don’t want to eat them porky!” Snapped Lotor as he snatched them. “I want to inspect them.” He put one hand over the fries and they started to glow. Lotor frowned and shook his head. “It’s faint, but there is a faint trace of magic in these fries. This is the work of a satyr.”

“WHAT DID THAT BITCH DO TO MY FRIES?!” Cried Keith.

“That’s what you’re concerned about?!” Asked Lance. “Lotor, do you know what she did?”

“It’s a charm spell.” He said. “Temptation and confusion are a specialty for charm users… I suspect that she might have charmed the salt and tainted the fries with magic. You just eat one or two and your brain becomes sluggish and doughy. You start binge eating and before you know it you’ve eaten several large fries.”

Lance frowned and nodded. “That probably explains why I felt kind of sluggish when I was eating fries with Keith… It always felt like I was eating something incredibly delicious...”

“That’s because fries are always delicious!” Exclaimed Keith.

“Wait… Weren’t you also charmed Keith?” Asked Lance, “I thought you were resistant to her magic, so your weight gain has nothing to do with this. Your cravings shouldn’t be any stronger than usual.”

“...”

“... I fucking hate you sometimes.”

Shiro suddenly turned his head towards the window. “Speak of the devil…”

The group looked over at a woman who easily opened the window and stepped inside. “I can’t believe my magic wore off so easily… No matter, I already got the results I wanted. Long time no see you stupid elf!”

Keith glared at her and looked her over from head to toe. “... The cashier from B.B Burger?”

“... Oh right, gotta change back.” She snapped her fingers and Nyma reverted back to her satyr form. “Ha! My revenge is complete! It all went according to plan! You’ve gotten nice and fat, you disgusting elf!”

“Who the hell are you calling a disgusting elf?!” Snapped Keith.

“Don’t tell me you forgot!” Snapped Nyma. “I did this to humiliate you!”

“What? Seriously?” Keith was very confused.

Nyam looked shocked. “How dare you! You horrible people stripped me naked and that disgusting human ogled my body!” 

Shiro and Lotor glared at Lance. Lance attempted to explain that was not what happened at all. Also, Lotor was there. He should know. 

“That’s why I decided that I must have my revenge on that elf!”

Shiro sighed and shook his head. “Look, If you want to make Keith fat, that’s fine with me. He kind of has it coming. The boy has made a lot of enemies.”

“Fuck you too Shiro!”

“But why did you drag Lance into this?” Asked Shiro. “Like, you said you want revenge on Keith, not Lance.”

Nyma huffed and crossed her arms. “I have been thinking about that as well… But there was no way around it. He’s been working hard to lose weight. If I only gave Keith fries, then Lance would put a stop to it. So I made Lance get fat too. Two birds with one delicious food stone.”

Lotor rolled his eyes as he summoned his staff, ready to beat her ass. “But if you succeeded in making them fat, isn’t your revenge now complete? Since there is no point in wasting our magic then please leave.”

“True, but the plan wasn’t just to make you fat…” She reached her hand out to Lance and her eyes started to glow. A blue aura started to get pulled from Lance’s body. “I still have one more thing I have to do!”

“She’s trying to absorb his desire!” Snapped Lotor. “If she converts it into magic she’ll power up!”

“I’m on it!” Said Keith as he quickly moved to grab his bow and arrows. “He who strikes first wins!”

“Too late!” Giggled Nyma. “And just like that, my victory is secured!” The group froze. They had no idea what kind of evil magic Nyma had managed to cast in that split second. Suddenly, the sound of clothes ripping echoed around the room and Keith’s clothes ripped to shreds. Nyam laughed at him. “I call this one the; Quickly fattening up, clothing shredded to pieces by quick movement in glorious combat, and crying your eyes out! Plan!” 

Lance covered his eyes because he was in such shock. Lotor and Shiro just looked at each other like this was the dumbest plan they had ever heard. Keith was just picking off the pieces of clothing that were still stuck to his body.

Nyma was laughing maniacally. “Now you will experience the same humiliation I did! Look at how shameful you are! Have that human gawking at your naked body! Do you realize how humiliating this is? Haaaa ha ha haaa!”

Keith looked at her in confusion. “Lady, what’s your problem? I literally get a rub down from Lance when I’m practically naked all the time.”

“... Wait… What? A r-rub down?” Asked Nyma in horror. Her mind instantly went to the gutter as she imagined Lance and Keith touching each other in such intimate and lewd ways. “Ru-rub down? You two do it while you’re both n-naked? Ru-ru-rubbing against each other?!”

“He means a massage!” Quipped Lance.

Nyma fell to the floor. Completely distraught that her plan to humiliate Keith and Lance had failed. “H-how can this be? I can’t… I can’t possibly win against these lewd degenerates! Kill me now!”

Shiro sighed and shook his head. “What a lame conclusion…”

“Agreed.” Muttered Lotor. “If I knew how this would have ended I would have picked up an extra shift at my job instead.”

Keith grinned and patted Lance on the shoulder a few times. “Looks like we won this round Lance.”

“Hurry up and get dressed!” The sudden pat caused Lance to jerk forward slightly, and Lance’s clothes tore to shreds. Both Lance and Keith were standing in the middle of the room ass naked. Shiro and Lotor face palmed while Lance’s soul seemed to escape his body.

“Um… My bad…” Muttered Keith.

Nyma screamed. “W-WHAT?! WAS THAT SHOULDER PAT REALLY ENOUGH TO TEAR CLOTHES APART?! NOOOOOO!!!” She quickly sprung up and escaped into the night.

Keith seemed rather proud of himself and laughed. “Looks like we won’t be seeing that woman again anytime soon.”

“Looks like it.” Said Shiro. “Now go put some pants on. The both of you.” And with that the satyr had been repelled once again.


	135. Family visit (Witch AU X)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance manages to convince Keith to get into the sea again with mixed results. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D
> 
> Selkie Lance:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/underzeweather/art/Selkie-Lance-849955914?ga_submit_new=10%3A1595760303

Over the next few days Lance had collected a nice stack of seashells to take home. He looked very pleased with himself. Keith watched him happily sorting out his collection. He had… Flat shells, round one, cone ones… Yeah, Keith didn’t know what they were called, but Lance liked them, so it was fine.

“You got some nice shells there.” Said Keith.

Lance smiled at him. “Yeah. I thought they were pretty neat. This one’s pink!” He held up a flat shell. “It’s a flat scallop! They are pretty and so good for cutting. Mama always has a few of these around in this purse she carried around.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah…” Lance stuck his shell in the sand and flicked the sand around a bit. “Keith? Can I try to teach you how to swim again?”

Keith nervously bit his bottom lip. “I… I don’t know… Swimming out in the ocean? I… Look, I have a thing about swimming in the ocean. I don’t like deep water… I’m a fire Wicche. I channel fire manna, the opposite of water manna. We don’t really mix.”

“Is that why you make steam?”

“No, that’s because I’m nervous.” Muttered Keith. “When I get nervous my whole body heats up to the point where I can boil water…”

“Oh that’s why everything was all steamy before, right?” Asked Lance.

“Yeah…”

“What if we stick to the shallows? Would that be okay? Nothing above hip height?” Asked Lance. “I’ll be with you the whole time. Please?”

This swimming thing seemed to be really important to Lance. Of course it was. He was a selkie and his manna was aligned with water manna. That’s just how it was. Lance would love anything and everything to do with water. Hell, he probably would have a blast when it rained. He could just imagine Lance running through the rain, and pulling on his seal skin to slide through puddles. 

“Fine…” He muttered. “One more time…”

Lance grinned and started to pat at the ground. “Awesome! I’ll teach you how to otter!”

“Otter?”

“You’ll see. It’s totally easy.”

***

As it turned out the otter method involved floating on your back with your arms crossed over your chest. So against Keith’s better judgement he was back in the water. In the shallows. Floating on his back like an otter while Lance stood next to him to make sure he didn’t float away or panic. Which was nice, but the water around Keith was starting to boil.

Lance sighed and took a step back. “So… You weren’t joking about the water thing were you?”

“Why would I joke about this?” Muttered Keith.

“Can you try and calm down a little?” Asked Lance. “You’re as hot as a submarine volcano.”

“Well excuse me for being anxious.” Grumbled Keith. “I already told you that the ocean is bullshit.”

Lance sighed heavily and wadded around him. “The ocean isn’t bullshit. You don’t see me complaining about walking on land, do you?”

“The land is less bullshit then the ocean.” Muttered Keith.

Lance sighed heavily again. “You only think that because you grew up on land. The ocean is amazing. Have you ever seen a reef before? They are so beautiful and colourful. I want to show you what they look like…”

Keith hated how sad Lance sounded when he said that. Like he knew that Keith wouldn’t want to do it. Now he felt like a bad master. He still hated that term. Owning something that was one the same level of intelligence was so freaking weird to him. Things would have been so much easier if he had summoned a banana slug.

Suddenly there was a splash followed by a chipper. “Garb!”

Lance gasped. “Nadia!”

There was suddenly a lot of movement around them and Keith panicked. He sank into the water and flailed around in shock for a few seconds before he realised that he could in fact stand up. So he did. When he stood up he saw Lance holding a seal pup in his hands. The seal pup was wiggling.

Lance smiled at Keith. “Keith, this is Nadia. My niece. Nadia, this is Keith. He’s my master and I’m his familiar.” He put the pup back in the water. They looked up at Keith for a bit before they bobbed over and nudged him.

“... Um, hi?” Keith took a step back from them. “So… Are they also a selkie or are they a seal?”

“Nadia’s a selkie.” Said Lance. He quickly looked around the coast. “And if she is here then… There they are!” He started waving to a small outcropping of rocks. Keith squinted his eyes and saw two large seals lounging on a rock. There was a small seal pup bobbing around in the water near them. The largest of the seals waved at them. “That’s my brother, Luis. That’s his wife Lisa, and Silvio my nephew… Would you mind if I?”

“Go ahead.”

Lance grinned, pulled his seal skin over his head and quickly dived into the water. Nadia quickly followed behind him. As soon as the selkies were gone, Keith quickly wadded back to the shore and dried himself off again. He hated water so, so much… He really hoped Lance’s family wasn’t going to beat the crap out of him for having Lance as his familiar...

***

Lance quickly breached the water and pulled himself onto the rocks. _“Guys! You’re here!”_

 _“Tio Lance!”_ Barked the pups as they climbed all over him.

Lisa made a happy noise and lightly nuzzled his face. _“I’m glad you’re safe. You had us all worried. We thought that you might have gotten eaten by a shark. You just…”_

 _“You really worried mama.”_ Said Luis. _“We’ve been looking everywhere for you. We came here as a last resort since land was the last place we thought you would be…”_ The large seal sighed and lightly slapped Lance with his flipper. _“If you wanted to visit papa, you should have just told us. Not just swim away like a scaredy catfish.”_

 _“Scaredy catfish! Scaredy catfish! Scaredy catfish!”_ Chanted the pups.

Lance sighed. He knew that this was going to be bad. Lance kind of jumped at the chance without thinking. He wanted to get out there and just… He wanted to get out and explore land. He didn’t want to spend his whole life in the ocean. He didn’t want to upset his mama by leaving, but Lance never thought anything out.

 _“I’m not… I’m not living with papa…”_ He muttered.

 _“Tio Lance is a familiar!”_ Said Nadia with excitement.

Silvio rolled off of Lance and waddled over to Lisa. _“What’s a familiar?”_

Lisa shook her head. _“A familiar is someone who helps a wicche with their work… But the familiars a wicche usually has is something simpler, like a bird.”_

 _“Tio is a bird brain?”_ Asked Nadia.

 _“Yes.”_ Said Luis.

Lance let out an indigent sound and grumpily looked away. He could see Keith walking up to some rocks to sit on. Maybe he was watching them? He waved at Keith, but wasn’t sure if Keith could see him from the shore, or was even looking at him.

Luis followed his gaze and huffed. _“So that’s the wicche huh?”_

 _“What is his name?”_ Asked Lisa.

Lance grinned and immediately slapped at the rock. _“His name is Keith! Keith is a fire wicche! He makes weapons and other cool stuff infused with other manna and stuff to give it cool effects! He lives on a hill next to a river. It’s so cool! I can swim whenever I want!”_

 _“Can I meet the wicche?”_ Asked Silvio. _“Nadia saw them up close before me!”_

 _“Which she shouldn’t have done.”_ Said Liza as she shot Nadia a look. Nadia quickly turned from a lanky looking seal, to a round ball of concerned blubber. _“We will talk about this later.”_

Luis yawned loudly and scratched himself. _“Alright… We need to go and see your abuelo first.”_

 _“Abuelo! Abuelo! Abuelo!”_ Cheered the pups in excitement. Pups were very, very easily distracted by the next shiny thing. They jumped into the water and started calling for their parents to follow them.

The three adult seals quickly followed the pups back to the stretch of beach where the old man’s home was. The pups were so excited they pulled off their seal skins and dropped them on the sand. They almost left without them, but they quickly picked them up again when Lisa bellowed at them. Hopefully they would be on their best behaviour while they were there.

 _“You need to talk with mama soon.”_ Warned Luis. 

_“I know… I… I will soon…”_ Said Lance.


	136. Caves (Monster AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something is wrong with Keith... Oh and there is some semi graphic vomiting scenes near the end. Also, I might be posting later than usual tomorrow. My sister just got a puppy and asked me to puppy sit for her. He is such a good boy and I love him and his floppy ears. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Life on the island was… interesting. After the little hook up between Lance and Keith the two of them slipped off to presumably keep having sex. Shiro didn’t say a word about it. He was just glad that the two of them were doing something that wasn’t going to end up with them in a giant hole in the ground. Sure they were still looking in the tool to break through the damn wall, but they were both acting like teenagers just discovering what turns them on for the first time.

This just basically meant that they had been on the island for three days because Keith and Lance kept fucking and got side tracked from getting into the cave. Krolia might have been right about the increased libido thing. At least Lance might have told Keith about modesty, since the two of them had been doing it in more secluded parts of the island.

It gave Shiro time to have a proper look around himself. He’d only ever been able to go to the main building when he was on the island. There were a few more fruit trees peppered here and there, so Shiro could still get something to eat. He probably should have thought about bringing more food before coming to the island.

Over one side of the island he found Krolia’s boat. It was a crappy little row boat filled with a few empty and crushed cans. He wouldn’t be surprised if Krolia had cirrhosis of the liver at this point. 

Shiro didn’t know what to do at this point. Krolia wanted to kill Keith. She was planning to kill him once he pupates and becomes an actual adult. He had no idea what would happen when Keith became a proper adult. He shuddered to think about it.

He checked his phone. Adam was a little worried about Shiro not coming home. Shiro had stayed overnight a few times at the facility so he could oversee certain experiments that needed constant supervision, but he could only do that for so long. Also he had so many voicemails from work asking where he was. He even got a personal voicemail from Sendak screaming at him to get his useless ass back to the facility. As it turned out, Lance’s bite didn’t kill him.

**Adam**   
_Morning_   
_Are you going to come home tonight?_

**Shiro**   
_Looks like I might need to stay again. Sorry_

**Adam**   
_Seriously? I need to vent to you about some of the weird shit at work!_   
_Like, the other day some teens found some kind of murder shack._   
_We found so much blood but only small parts of at least two people._   
_But there is definitely more the 2 DNA profiles._

**Shiro**   
_Wow! Do you think there is a serial killer around?_

**Adam**   
_Doubtful, but we are looking into it as a possibility_

**Shiro**   
_Be careful out there Adam_   
_I’ll try to get home soon_   
_I love you_

**Adam**   
_I love you too Takashi_

Shiro sighed and put his phone away. He had a battery charger pack with him, but it was close to running out. He should leave the island soon. He doubted that Keith would want him here for too much longer anyway. Once Keith had fully settled in he would probably try and eat him. Shiro also didn’t want to see Krolia shoot and kill Keith… He didn’t know what would become of Lance either if Keith died.

***

Keith hummed happily as he ran his fingers through Lance’s sweat drenched hair. Okay, it had been the fifth time they had had sex that day. They probably needed to stop this for the day and look for something like a really big hammer to break the wall open… Unfortunately sex was way too appealing at the moment because it was immediate and now. It felt too good. It was one of the few times he actually felt good. He literally couldn’t remember the last time he felt that good in his life.

Lance hummed softly as he lifted himself off of Keith’s hips, both of them moaning at the movement. With a sigh, Lance slumped down next to Keith. He rested his head against Keith’s shoulder. “You have way too much stamina…” Muttered Lance.

“Is that a bad thing?” Asked Keith. 

“No. Just a little tiering.” Muttered Lance. He leaned up and kissed Keith. 

Lance’s kisses were nice. His lips were soft and warm. They were nice to press against his own. He liked kissing more when Lance slipped his tongue into his mouth. Those kisses made him feel warm inside and made heat pool in his pelvis.

His lover sighed a little and looked at their surroundings. They had originally gone out to see if they could find anything useful in the mess hall. They ended up having sex on a table instead. Keith couldn’t help it. Lance smelled nice… And it was weird to say, but Keith wanted to sink deep inside him. Yeah, he could technically rip Lance open and force himself inside Lance that way, but he preferred this. It was nicer. More gentle.

“Hmm, why are you looking at me like that?” Lance muttered.

“Like what?” Asked Keith.

“Like… Like I’m your whole world or something.”

Keith smiled softly at him and lightly nuzzled him. “You’re precious to me… I want to look after the things I think are precious.”

“... You eat me.”

“... Look, I’m trying here.” Muttered Keith. “I think we both know that I am not the best when it comes to social interactions. Like, when have I ever met someone like me?”

“Ah, fair enough… We should probably keep looking for a hammer though.”

Keith hummed a little and continued to run his fingers across Lance’s back. “I guess… But we could just lay here for a bit longer?”

Lance chuckled and kissed him. “Okay. A few more minutes. Then the hammer… And we’re actually getting the hammer this time. No more distractions.”

“Fine. No more distractions.” Keith really wanted to get into the caves, but at the same time he really just wanted to keep having sex with Lance. After feeding off of Lance it was nice to do something he knew was making Lance feel good.

Eventually they got up and headed outside. They got some water from a rainwater tank and cleaned themselves. Once they were clean they went back to looking for a hammer. Lance wanted to find a thing called a sledge hammer to break through the wall, but Keith didn’t know what that was. Any hammer he found Lance said it was too small.

Keith was kind of interested in a weird looking machine that looked like it had a corkscrew at the end. He was pretty sure that Lance called it a drill. He liked it.

“Found one!” Lance dragged a very large, heavy looking hammer out from under some tarps and pipes. “Let’s start breaking a wall.”

Keith smiled and took the hammer from him. “Yeah. Let’s.”

***

Lance watched in amusement as Keith attempted to break down the door with the sledgehammer instead of going to the wall and knocking it down. It took Keith five minutes before he decided it would be smarter to break down a brick wall rather than a huge metal door instead.

He was able to break through in three hits. The overwhelming smell of sweetness almost made Lance’s stomach turn. It took a few more hits before Keith had made a big enough hole for a body to crawl through. Keith tossed the hammer aside and slipped in. He reached out to Keith and smiled.

“Are you coming?” He asked with a kind smile on his face.

So of course Lance took his hand and walked through. It was dark and there were a fair few dust particles in the air. It still smelled sweet. Too sweet. It was making everything else around him seem bitter in comparison. They were standing at the mouth of the cave. It was clear that someone had been in there before them. There was a generator and some kind of locker.

Lance checked the generator and turned it on. It hummed to life and dozens of flood lights sprang to life. It lit up a pathway lined by wooden boards. Lance briefly looked into the locker and found it had several filtration masks and some power looking torches.

“Hey Keith, should we-?” He looked over to see Keith already making his way into the cave. “... Damn it Keith.” Lance quickly followed Keith down into the cave.

The cave air felt stale, heavy, and hot. Still smelled sweet and it was getting stronger. They ducked under a few stalagtites and rounded some stalagmites. Keith was quiet as they walked and quite honestly? It was a little unnerving.

Apart from the smell it seemed like just a normal cave system with nothing weird happening in it. Well, that was what Lance thought until he saw something quickly fly by his face. “Shit! What was that?”

Keith didn’t respond and kept walking. That was mildly annoying, but he looked like he was on a mission of some sort. Something landed on Lance’s shoulder. He jumped a little in shock and flicked it away. It was a slightly smaller version of that weird cave cannibal bug thing that he found in the frame. It didn’t seem very phashed about being swatted away and just zipped back into the depths of the cave.

They got to what looked like a small research site. There were some tables and chairs under a floodlight. Keith paid no mind to it while Lance went to have a look. There was a thick layer of dust on the table and a few post-it notes still stuck there. 

He found one that looked like someone had doodled down the life cycle of the cave cannibal. It went egg, larva, pupa, cave cannibal. There wasn’t much else to go on. He was going to mention it to Keith, but he was already several feet ahead of him.

This was really starting to annoy Lance. He quickly walked over to Keith and spun him around. “Hey! What’s going on?”

Keith seemed surprised to get grabbed like that. “What?”

“You’re just powering through the cave… You’re not listening to me.”

“... Sorry.” Said Keith quietly. “I just… I feel like I need to go deeper into the cave. Like there is something there I need to find. I don’t know how to explain it. I just need to go deeper. Okay?” Lance sighed and let Keith go, but the other quickly laced his fingers with Lance’s. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to ignore you…”

“... Let’s just keep going.” Said Lance. “Let’s try and find the thing you’re after okay?”

Keith smiled and the two of them continued on until they got to a very large looking cavern. This cavern was bursting with life illuminated by the flood lights. Nothing was actually greed per say, since there wasn’t much in the way of natural light. There were lots of mosses and weird looking fungus that seemed to be albino looking in nature. There were a few smaller insects scuttling around the floor, walls, and ceiling trying to avoid the light. 

The whole place smelled extremely sweet. It made Lance’s stomach groan and turn. Lance didn’t know if he wanted to eat something or vomit. Keith just walked through the vegetation and lightly brushed his hands over a few flat rocks.

Lance frowned and looked around too. This place was weird… It seemed a little too advanced for any actual cave system he knew. He heard a weird, wet sound coming from some raised rocks near some odd looking mushrooms. He looked over the edge and saw a small pool of maggots. It looked like a pool of maggots. He watched them for a little while as they squirmed over each other. They kind of looked magenta? Reminded Lance of what Keith looked like in his monster form.

He watched them for a few more minutes before he noticed something kind of disturbing. Some of them were eating each other. But there were also other bug parts in there. This was probably why they were called cave cannibals.

Something dripped down onto the maggoty pool and Lance followed to where the dripping had come from. A little bit above them was a small cluster of bluish grey mushrooms. Some adult cave cannibals were ripping off small pieces of the fungus. As they ate small beads of condensation or some kind of ooze came out of it and dripped into the maggots.

Maybe they laid their babies in places where the fungus would drip stuff onto them for reasons? He wasn’t sure. Lance had never really been good at this kind of stuff. He wasn’t doing too good at biology.

He was about to move away when he noticed that one of the mushrooms seemed to be growing on an insect… It looked like another cave cannibal. These mushrooms were feeding off the insects that were eating them. Weird.

A cave cannibal landed on Lance’s hand and he slowly moved it up to his face to get a better look at it. The insect looked up at him and swayed slowly from left to right. There was an odd smell coming from it that made his mouth water.

Lance suddenly opened his mouth and shoved the bug inside. He bit into it and the whole thing practically exploded in his mouth as he bit into it. For a split second Lance was horrified at his action. What the fuck was wrng with him? However, it actually tasted kind of good? Yeah, actually really good. He hated to say it, but it kind of tasted like tangy custard? Maybe the filling of a key lime pie? But with a very, very crunchy shell. It was kind of nice. But it was still a bug.

Lance quickly spat it out onto the rocks. As soon as it hit the rocks some smaller insects started to swarm it and eat it. It made Lance’s skin crawl. This was perfect. He was starting to eat insects. What else was his weird body going to do now.

He shook his head and looked over at Keith to see what he was doing. He was standing near a cave wall and touching some flat rocks. Lance had no idea what he was doing, but was Keith shaking a little? He seemed to be shaking a little.

“Are you okay there?” Asked Lance.

“I… I don’t feel so good…” Suddenly Keith doubled over and vomited. It was kind of muddy and looked almost flesh-like. It was sticky and kind of thick, just coating everything it touched. 

Lance jumped back in shock. “Keith?! Are you okay?!”

“I don’t know…” Muttered Keith. “I… don’t feel… any better…” He made a weird gurgling sound and vomited again. More of the weird looking flesh stuff.

“Shit… I… I don’t know what to do… Shiro! Should I get Shiro?”

“Yeah… Sounds like a good…” Keith groaned and leaned against a stalagmite and vomited again. “H-hurry.”

“I’ll be back in a moment.” Lance quickly ran back up the path and out of the caves. “SHIRO!” He yelled. “SHIRO! HELP! SHIRO!” he ran outside and screamed for him.

Shiro wasn’t too far away and quickly ran over to him looking panicked. “What happened? What’s going on? Where is Keith?”

“W-we, we got into the caves and Keith started to vomit.” Said Lance. “We have no idea what’s going on. Please help him.”

“... Shit.” Shiro quickly followed Lance back into the cave. He only stopped to grab a flashlight and a filter mask out of the cabinet before he followed Lance down.

When they got back to where Lance left Keith they were met with quite a horrifying sight. Keith had removed his clothes and was kneeling in the middle of his own vomit, but it didn’t look like vomit anymore. It was thicker and looked more like mud now. He was collecting it in his hands and slowly smearing it across his body until it stayed in place.

“... What the hell are you doing?” Asked Lance. “Keith! Stop!”

Keith looked up at Lance and opened his mouth to say something, but instead more vomit tumbled out. He then went about smearing it evenly over his body.

“Oh my god…” Said Shiro. He sounded horrified and almost disgusted, but mostly in fear. “It’s not vomit. He’s making a cocoon. He’s pupating…”


	137. Basic biology (Royal AU XVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dumb asses learn some things about each other so they can keep going forward with their courting... And Shiro gets a visitor. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Yurak felt awkward as fuck. After talking with Lance they had spent the morning thinking of questions to ask the other about their species. Nothing was off limits and it was making him really, really uncomfortable. He had written down a few things that wanted to know about Altean biology;

_1\. How many stomachs do you have?_   
_2\. How well can you see in the dark?_   
_3\. Can you get pregnant?_   
_4\. Do you experience heats?_   
_5\. How quickly do you heal from bites and scratches?_

It seemed like a good list. It was simple, asked general stuff about Alteans, and some more… sexual stuff… He sighed heavily and shook his head. He didn’t want Lance to think he was just interested in sex, or that he wasn’t interested in it either. He just… He wanted Lance to think he was a decent guy that wasn’t afraid of sex.

He sat down on a chair in the sitting room. His tail nervously flicked left and right as he wondered if Lance would get mad at him for asking something too personal… Like, what if pregnancy was a huge taboo thing and Lance got offended? He would feel horrible if he made Lance feel horrible.

Yurak made a small distressed sound and quickly downed his drink. It wasn’t alcoholic, but it should have been. He needed something to calm his nerves a little. Before he could go and raid his liquor cabinet Lance waltzed in and plopped down on the couch opposite him. He had datapad out with a list written out.

“Alright. You have your questions?”

“Um, yeah…” Said Yurak quietly. “How do you want to do this?”

Lance shrugged. “You ask a question and then I ask a question?”

Yurak nodded and looked down at his list. “I um...O-okay… How many stomachs do you have?”

“Just one.” Said Lance. “However we have two livers which is why it is quite hard to poison us.”

“Oh, that’s pretty interesting.”

“Yeah. My turn, right?” Asked Lance. Yurak quickly nodded. “Okay, so… How good is your sense of smell? Like, do you use scents to tell you different things? Like a secret second language?”

Hearing that question made Yurak relax a little. This was good. Nothing crazy. Lance didn’t ask him about his dick or anything. That would have been kind of awkward for him. “Okay, so we can smell subtle differences in someone’s scent markings. It’s a little hard to explain, but we can tell the subtle differences between scentings… Like, we have a general idea of the age and gender of someone and if they are distressed. That’s all.”

Lance nodded a little as he heard of this. “I see… That’s actually pretty interesting.”

“Y-yeah…” Said Yurak quietly. 

He asked Lance some more questions and Lance asked his. Things very slowly became more sexual, but they both knew that would happen. They needed to see if they were physically compatible. Lance had poor eyesight in the dark. Scales and skin on galra was a recessive gene thing and fur and ears was more normal. Theoretically Altean males could get pregnant since they had shapeshifting abilities. Though only a few had the ability to completely change their reproductive organs. Yurak could retract his claws, but not nearly enough to Lance’s living for some reason.

Then Yurak asked about heat cycles. Lance laughed at him when he asked that. Yurak felt so embarrassed and ashamed. Lance told him that Altean’s didn’t have a heats. They could get pregnant at any time. Sure there were periods when they were less fertile, but they could have children whenever.

Yurak was shocked. “Seriously? You can just… Even during frost? Do you even have frost?”

“You mean when things get all cold? Yeah. We call it The Freezing because everything gets covered in ice and stuff.” Said Lance. “Okay, but question. How big are you?” 

“Several feet?”

“What? No I mean… down there. Are you big?” Asked Lance as he gestured towards his crotch.

Yurak blushed and quickly averted his eyes. “Oh… that. I um… Well, it depends…”

“On what?”

“If you’re measuring with the knots or not.”

Lance looked shocked. “Knots? As in… more than one?”

“Y-yeah… Two… The second one is bigger than the first…”

“How? Why?”

Yurak shrugged. “We think it’s just something left over from our ancestors… It can be a little difficult for a woman to get pregnant so the working theory is that it’s just so… you know… They definitely get pregnant? I don’t know… I don’t know too much about our evolution. Just basic and general stuff…”

“... So you’re like this big?” Asked Lance as he made a gesture with his hands. It was ridiculously big.

“No… That’s… That just looks painful. More like…” He moved Lance’s hands so they were much closer together. “But with knots it’s more like this.” He moved Lance’s hands a little further apart. Lance looked surprised, but he seemed kind of… impressed? Maybe? He had no idea. “Yeah… that’s kind of-”

“How long do you stay knotted for?”

“Oh um… First knot, anywhere between 30 doboshes and a varga. Second knot… up to three varga…” Yurak felt so embarrassed talking about basic Galra anatomy in front of Lance. This was just basic stuff one would learn as a kit… At least Lance didn’t seem interested in learning about intersex Galra. That would have been a whole new can of worms he didn’t want to open...

“So it’s definitely gonna be an all night thing…” Muttered Lance. He had a thoughtful look on his face and it kind of made Yurak worry. He started flicking his claws against the pads on his fingers. Was that a bad thing? Being able to have sex for vargas? Would an Altean hate it? Maybe? But they seemed to be more promiscuous than Galra, so it might be a good thing? He didn’t know.

“Y-yeah… Is tha-?”

“Sounds like fun.”

“What? Really?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. If I’m honest Alteans might love sex, but there is no way we can mess around with someone for anywhere close to three vargas.”

“Oh. Okay.” Yurak was a little concerned about Lance’s well being now. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt him because Galra had sex for longer periods of time than Alteans. Maybe he should talk to Shiro about this? He was the only Galra he knew that had sex with an Altean… That and Lotor, but Yurak was pretty damn sure that Allura was all female and wasn’t intersex.

“So, what else do you want to know?” Asked Lance. “Want to know anything else about Alteans?”

“Um… h-how quickly do you heal from superficial wounds?” Asked Yurak.

Lance shrugged. “Depends on how deep the cut it, but something small like a paper cut takes a few quintants. If it’s really deep it would me a movement, or even a phoeb. Why?”

Yurak looked down at his claws. “...We um… I’ve heard that scratching isn’t uncommon during sex…”

“And you’re worried you’ll claw me?”

Yurak nodded.

“Aw, that’s sweet.” Said Lance. He smiled kindly at him. “Yurak, I’m sure it will be fine… and if your claws do get a little troublesome, there’s always bondage.”

“Bondage?”

“... Oh honey, you’re in for a surprise.” Said Lance with a wicked grin. “I’m sure you’ll like it when we eventually get to it.”

Yurak could feel his fur puffing up. “O-Okay.”

***

Shiro sat around in his den. He was trying to read a book that Yurak had given him for New Deca-Phoebe's eve. It was kind of a dry read, but Yurak meant well. It was some kind of historical fiction. He was pretty sure Yurak had no idea what to get him and just got advice from the person at the bookstore.

There was a knock at his door and Shiro went to answer it. Probably a neighbor asking to borrow something or one of the guards from the castle was in the neighborhood and was just dropping by to say hi. As soon as Shiro opened the door a heavy weight flung themselves into his chest.

Shiro took a step back and looked down. Hugging him, was an Altean. “A-Adam?!”

The Altean smiled and looked up at him. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here? How?!”

“Well Alfor and Zarkon have been talking about quickly opening some trade routes, mostly for Allura’s sake. Just so she could slowly get used to Galra quizine.” Said Adam. “I know some people that know people, so I was able to get on the spice ship. I need to leave in a movement though, or I could get in trouble…”

Shiro grinned and hugged him. He couldn’t help but let out a pleased rumble from deep within his chest. Adam was back in his arms. He didn’t care if it was for one movement or one quintant. The point was, Adam was there.

“Are you purring?”

“... Yes.” Shiro brought Adam inside and went to make him some tea while the Altean made himself at home. “So how long have you known about this trade thing behind opened up?”

Adam chuckled a little and sat on the couch. “Well, a few quintants… I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well you definitely did that.” Shiro hummed a little as he swished his tail around. He took the tea over to Adam and sat by him. “Do you want to stay here or do you have a place to go?”

“I can go back to the ship if that’s okay.”

“You can stay here.” Said Shiro quickly. “I um… I’d really like you to stay here… My den is big enough for the two of us…”

Adam smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “It’s fine. If you want me here then I’m going to stay here.”

Shiro smiled and nuzzled the top of his head. “I want you to stay here. I really love you Adam... We really messed up courting though, huh?”

“Yeah. We have… But fuck it. Who needs courting rituals and stuff? Too damn formal.” Muttered Adam. “I preferred skipping straight to the fucking anyway. Cut the bullshit. I make physical connections before I make emotional ones.”

“Oh… Well, we’ve kind of been courting each other over letters.” Said Shiro quietly as his ears drooped a little. “I thought we have an emotional connection…”

Adam looked a little surprised. “What? Oh, no, I just meant courting practices in general are kind of dumb.” Said Adam quickly. “I… I’m not saying things right… I like you Shiro. I really do. I love you.”

Shiro smiled softly at him and gently pulled Adam onto his lap. “I know. I love you too… I forgot how small you are compared to me.”

Adam huffed and crossed his arms. “It’s not my fault that you Galra are giants.”

That made Shiro laugh and he cuddled Adam some more. Adam seemed to be accepting of this and leaned into his chest. That made Shiro purr some more. “Want me to show you some Galra cooking?”

“That sounds like fun.”


	138. Mama (HolyHell AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is such a sulky demon man. Lance is trying to put his thoughts and feelings in order... And these two are just dumb asses in general. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith yelped and squirmed as Antok yanked him into the air by his tail. He had gone back and talked to Antok about his succubus sting not working on Lance, so the older incubus was checking his tail. This was not fun. He flailed around and squirmed when Antok grabbed the flat spade part of his tail and practically crushed it in his palm.

“FUCK!” Yelled Keith. “THAT FUCKING HURTS YOU PRICK!”

Antok rolled his eyes and kept squeezing it. “Well you’re a half succubus. Your tail needs a bit of force to open up. You want me to check everything, right?” He looked around the room for a moment and huffed. “Is there a chopstick somewhere or a knitting needle?” He dragged Keith towards the door of the shitty motel room and looked out at the other bikers just sitting around drinking beer and tuning up their bikes. He pointed to someone who had decorative chopsticks in their hair. “Hey! Pass me one of those!”

Antok was one hell of an intimidating demon, and Kolivan’s second in command. What he said, as long as it didn’t contradict Kolivan, goes. So the biker quickly took one out and tossed it at Antok. He caught it and went back into the room. Thankfully he sat down which meant Keith could dig his nails into the carpet and try to scamper away. However it was pointless. Antok’s grip was ironclad.

He squeezed around the tip of Keith’s tail, making him yelp again. “There it is…” Muttered Antok. He pressed the tip of the chopstick into the small opening where Keith’s stinger previously poked through and forced it open. Keith hissed and tried to squirm away as his tail was forcefully peeled open like a flower. A grotesque looking pink flower covered in fleshy pink bumps. 

A succubus’s tail was made entirely out of muscle. No bones at all. The point of this tail? Well, there were several uses. It was primarily used for sex. There was a sphincter located at the very base of the tail where the tip spread opened that was incredibly stretchy and when their tail opened up it could easily take another dick. Not very useful when fucking one person, but it was fantasic when it came to orgies. Their tails were also pretty good for choking out a bitch in a pinch. Also that was where their stinger was kept too.

The only way to check a succubus’s stinger and venom pouch was to open up their tail to physically get to it. Since Keith was a half succubus he never needed to use his tail for anything other than strangling people and stinging people he wanted to fuck, but they were playing hard to get anyway.

“I’m going to fucking stab you in your sleep.” Growled Keith. He didn’t like this one fucking bit. He liked it even less when Antok squeezed on his venom pouch and made some of his venom squirt out. “FUCK!”

“... Are you sure you stung Lance in the leg?” Asked Antok. “You seem to be producing a good amount of venom, and it was a clean break. You pulled the stinger right out.”

Keith was pissed and looked over his shoulder at Antok. “I know how to fucking sting a fucking human! I got him right in the fucking thigh! You done molesting me yet? Why don’t you just finger my tail while you’re at it?” Antok gave him a blank expression as he started to poke around the sphincter in his tail with the chopstick. Keith squeaked and tried to crawl away. “I WAS JOKING!”

“Why is Keith shrieking?” Asked Shiro as he looked into the room. “... Is this consensual?”

“To a degree.” Said Antok. “Keith stung the Pastor, but nothing happened to him. I was just checking Keith’s venom pouch to see if he was defective. It’s not.” He let Keith’s tail go and Keith quickly scrambled away to hide behind Shiro. “The only thing I can think is that the Pastor is a lot more holy than first expected… Very few people can resist a succubus sting. The only ones that can have hormone problems.”

“I thought acesexuals were immune to you guys?” Asked Shiro.

Antok rolled his eyes. “I’m talking about sex on a puerly physical level. Asexuals still have a working libido Shiro.”

“Fair enough.” Shiro looked at Keith and patted his head. “Come on. I got a bucket of party shots we can share.”

“Good. I’m staying the fuck away from the demon molester over here!”

Antok shrugged and turned on the TV. Shiro ushered Keith out of the room and Keith looked down at his poor tail. He just couldn’t believe the indignity of it all. He was just expecting Antok to squeeze his tail, not pry the damn thing open and poke around it.

Shiro took Keith up to the roof of the motel. They made themselves comfortable and Shiro opened his party bucket of shots and put it between them. Keith quickly downed a few while trying to flatten his crumpled tail. It sucked that it was so crinkled now. 

He just needed to think of a new plan to seduce Lance. Lance was… he was very cute and he was right in his grasp… If they could have just kissed he just knew that Lance would have totally melted into his arms… and on his dick… But that was beside the point. How the fuck was he meant to get into the pants of a Pastor when he was immune to his sting?

Sensing Keith’s frustration, Shiro said some words of wisdom. “Patience yields focus.”

“That is bullshit.” Grumbled Keith. “How the fuck am I meant to be attractive to the Pastor of a Catholic church?”

Shiros shrugged. “Can you shapeshift your body to look like a seven year old boy?”

“Fuck off. Lance isn’t no pedo.” Grumbled Keith. “He is totally turned on by me, he’s just… He’s not interested in me because he decided to try and live without getting a good dicking. Fucking crazy...”

Shiro shook his head and downed a shot. “Yeah, some humans are weird. I never understood why sex was such a disgusting thing to humans. It’s natural to want to do it. Maybe they think it’s too animalistic to want sex? Something they need to put in a box and categorize to try and distinguish between good sex and sinful sex?”

“Fuck, humans are stupid.”

“Sex between men and women, good. Sex between two men or two women, bad.” Said Shiro in a mocking tone. “Sex to have babies, good. Sex to relieve tension and to feel good about yourself, bad. Like, if you’re horny and you need it then why not? Use your hand and jerk that sausage. Flick that bean. You do you fam.”

“... Have you been listening to shitty radio stations that are focused on the youth again?”

“I’m trying to keep up with the current vocabulary. Am I doing it right?”

“Fuck no.”

“Well shit.” Shiro laid back and looked up at the stars. “You could try and just be overly sexual with Lance until he can’t take it anymore and throws himself at you? Maybe actually show him that you’re a demon and know he wants to get his dick wet? Maybe you’ll eventually get your dick sucked, or you can suck his dick?”

Keith sighed heavily. “Maybe? … Lance is making me sexually frustrated.”

Shiro couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Really? Wow, Lance has you wrapped around his finger and he doesn’t even know it.”

Keith pouted and looked down at his own hand. His fingers were covered by his fingerless gloves, but underneath was a scar matching Lance’s around his own ring finger. It made him smile a little. Maybe he should just show Lance what he really was, but then again he might get a crucifix to his face if that happened. The church and demons got along like water and oil.

He took another shot and looked up at the stars. Fuck, he missed Lance already. Lance was… He was perfect. He wanted to hold him and kiss him. Touch him and well… Pin him down and fuck him into the nearest flat surface. Was that so bad? He was sure that Lance would look so pretty taking his dick… 

Especially under the shadow of the virgin Mary in the church. Hell, he’d love it if Lance railed him hard and pulled on his tail… Maybe in the confessional? He would melt if Lance fucked his ass in the confessional. Damn, he just looked so sexy and pretty…

“Do you think Lance would like getting eaten out?” Asked Keith.

Shiro shrugged. “Who doesn’t like getting eaten out? And with our tongues-” Shiro stuck his tongue out, letting it drop far past his chin. “-Lance is not going to be able to resist it. When you eventually get into his pants and make him your bride.”

Keith huffed and pouted. He was going to bed Lance and make him his bride soon enough. Even if Lance was immune to all his demonic ways he would get Lance to fall in love with him and then they would be together.

The sudden rumble of a motorbike coming up the road made bother Shiro and Keith take pause. They looked over the edge and watched as a biker wearing the Mamora colours rolled into the parking lot. They hadn’t been riding with them when they first rolled into town. The other bikers watched closely as they took off their helmet. She tussled her hair and someone threw a can of beer at her. She easily caught it and cracked it open.

Keith groaned in annoyance. “I thought she said she would meet us in Alaska…”

Shiro shrugged. “Krolia does what Krolia wants. We should go down and say hi to her. She is your mother after all.”

“... I don’t wanna… She’s gonna berate me for not fucking Lance yet.” Muttered Keith.

“I know.” Said Shiro. “But this is your own damn fault and you know it.”

“... Shut up.”

***

Lance was kind of thankful that Keith didn’t show up at the church the next day. He needed a whole day to calm down. He spent most of that day in his office in the church reading through 1 Corinthians to find the highlighted verses about celibacy. This particular bible also had a lot of other things highlighted in it. Verses about lying, stealing, adultery, and converting. He was trying to cover the basics when it came to people confessing or seeking advice.

He kind of felt a little better after reading through some verses, but he could still feel Keith’s hands all over him and he felt guilty that he enjoyed it. Maybe being a Pastor wasn’t the best choice of work for him? He shook his head and kept reading the bible.

He heard a knock on his door and quickly looked up. “Come in.” He called.

The door opened up and a very pretty woman walked in. She was older, possibly around her late thirties, early forties. She was wearing jeans and a biker vest. She looked like she was probably part of the Mamora biker gang. Maybe. He couldn’t see the back of her jacket to check her colours. She could have just been some random person just passing through.

She smiled softly at him. “Good afternoon father. I hope I am not interrupting anything?”

“Oh no, just catching up on some light reading.” Lance quickly put his bible away and smiled at her. “How can I help you today Miss?”

“Krolia.” She said as she sat down. “My name is Krolia. It’s nice to meet you.”

‘It’s nice to meet you too.” He said. “So… what can I do for you?”

“Well, I am a part of the Mamora biker gang.” She said. “I had things to handle in another city so I stayed back while they went ahead of me… And when I came into town I got word of a rather attractive young man being the local Pastor, so I came to check it out.”

Lance felt his face heat up a little as he quickly looked away. “Oh I um… I see… I-I admit that I am a little young, but I am qualified to be working here.” He wondered if she had heard some of the older women talking about him? They usually do that kind of stuff.

She grinned and leaned forward in her chair. “My son said you were a very handsome, modest man.”

“You son?”

“Yes. Keith.” She said. “Keith is my son.”

“O-oh…” Well, that was kind of embarrassing. His face heated up more.

“I can see my son was right.”

Lance felt like his face was on fire with embarrassment. “I-I um… I… So… Is Keith’s father also part of the Mamora group?”

Krolia sighed sadly. “Unfortunately his father isn’t with us anymore…”

“Oh, I’m so sor-”

“The idiot tripped and his bike fell on him. He’s at home with a broken hip.” She said with a solemn look on her face. “I told him he hadn’t propped it up properly, but no… So yeah… Akira is at home and probably very annoyed right now.”

“Oh okay.” That was a lot better than he thought.

“Anyway, I came here to get a good look at you.” Said Krolia. “I want to know if you will treat my son right.”

“... What?”

Krolia rolled her eyes like Lance was a fool. “I am seeing if you are a good match for him. You seem to be that way.”

Lance’s brain had officially shut down. Did Krolia not realise he was a Pastor? Dating someone, anyone, let alone a man, was not allowed. Well, maybe he could date if nothing sexual happened. He’d have to ask someone about that, but he was pretty sure he couldn’t. Still, he was the Pastor of a small town Catholic church. Dating a woman would be bad enough, but Keith was a man.

Suddenly Krolia was standing right next to him and grabbed his chin, tilting his face up so they were face to face. Lance’s breath caught in his throat as she stared at him with her cold and calculating eyes. Her gaze made him freeze.

“Hmm, your eyes are a lovely shade of blue. You know that Pastor?”

“I-I um… I have been told so…”

She chuckled. “I like you… Well, if you aren’t interested in my son. I would-”

The office door was suddenly flung open and Keith was standing there. He looked mortified. “Krolia!”

Both looked over at him. Krolia just chuckled and smiled at her son. “Hello Keith. So why are you here?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me.” Muttered Keith. “I say one nice thing about one guy then you run off to find him?!”

“I told you I was going to town for some milk.”

“I talked to Kolivan and he said you were coming here!” Snapped Keith. He groaned in frustration. “I am so sorry Lance. My mother is a whore.”

Lance gasped in shock. “Keith! You can’t just say that about your own mo-”

“He’s right.” Said Krolia calmly. She looked at Lance and smiled. “Don’t you worry though. Keith is the spitting image of his father.”

Keith rolled his eyes and pulled Krolia out of the office. “I am so sorry Lance. I will get this whore out of the church. Let’s go.”

Krolia laughed and waved at Lance. “See you around pretty boy.”

Once they were gone Lance slumped down in his chair. He had no idea what the hell had just happened. Keith’s family was… Well they were interesting to say the least. He picked up his bible again and decided to just try and forget about what just happened and go back to trying to reassure himself that celibacy was the right choice for him.

***

When the two demons were in the parking lot, Keith was pissed. “Damn it Krolia!” He snapped. “What were you thinking? Why would you do that?!”

She shrugged. “I just wanted to meet my future son in law.” 

“Yeah, fuck the future son in law more like it.” Growled Keith. 

“You say that like it’s not normal for demons.”

“You’d fuck him to death! He’s human!”

“And since when did demons care about something trivial like death stopping us from having a good fuck?”

He glared daggers at her. “Stay away from Lance. He is mine. I’ve already marked him as my bride. Back off.”

She seemed amused by this. “Oh really now? You chose a Pastor as your bride? You either have very poor taste or are a masochist… And I know I raised you better than that, so you’re a masochist.”

Keith pouted and huffed. “Just stay away from him. He’s mine. None of your weird succubus tricks. I want him all for myself.”

She shrugged and got on her bike. “Alright Mr grouchy. I can tell when I am not wanted… But I am going to be here to give you some motherly advice on how to seduce yourself a man.”

Keith pouted some more. “I can do it myself.”

“Sure you can.” Krolia revved the engine a few times and smiled at him. “Just come and look for me. Okay? I want to help you.”

“Yeah, help yourself more like it.” He grumbled. She just shook her head and happily drove away. This was annoying as fuck. Krolia being here was going to make things all the more difficult for him. She was a full succubus! If she wanted to she could just gesture for someone like Lance to come over to her so she could have them and they would willingly do it. They would willingly let Krolia take them and die. Now that she was mildly interested in Lance he would have to put his energy into keeping Krolia away from his bride too along with trying to get into his pants.


	139. Seafood (Modern fantasy AU XIX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is trying really hard to get Keith to expand his palette... You decide if it worked or not. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After a lot of hard work and effort, Lance and Keith managed to get back to their original weight before Nyma tried to humiliate them and destroy their efforts. Lance had a high metabolism, so he lost weight faster than Keith did. Keith ended up losing weight too but he ended up back at his chubby elf self. Keith was not pleased by this, but he preferred this to being a fistfull of fries away from a heart attack.

Lance decided he would try and take Keith down to the fish markets to help him get a better grip on how to develop and maintain a balanced diet. It was rather quiet when they went down with very few people. He happily pointed out some fresh cuts of salmon in the display.

“Salmon is really high in omega three and fats.” Said Lance.

“I thought I was meant to be avoiding fats?”

“Trans fats are the ones you need to avoid.”

“... Not all trans people are fat Lance.”

Lance gave Keith a confused look. “Trans fats is a type of fat. I’m not talking about transexuals. Anyway, what kind of stuff do you usually eat in your world?”

“Most elf diets consist of mostly vegetables.” Said Keith. “But because of war stuff we have had to expand our diets so we wouldn’t pass out and die from hunger. We’ve reluctantly introduced red meat, white meat, and fish into our diets, but I still prefer potatoes.”

“Of course you do.”

“What? I can’t help it… Plus I don’t really like fish. The texture and the bones… It makes me feel all gross.”

“Will you try some fish for me?” Asked Lance. “We’ll try and find a recipe you like? There are lots of things we can do with fish. Remember, this world has spices.”

Suddenly a woman behind the counter slammed her hands down on the top of the display case. “Hey! What can I do for you guys!”

Lance jumped a little in shock. “Ah!”

The woman chuckled and grinned. “Ah, sorry about that. My bad. My bad. Nice to meet you guys. Haven’t seen you guys around here. I’m Plaxum. I recently started working here in the fish market. If you two need any help choosing fish you just let me know. I know the best for sashimi, what you want to grill, what’s fatty, and what’s just full of protein. I also have a bit of an idea of what fish you might like to try for a more fish based diet… Yeah, I might have heard you two talking about losing weight there.”

“This woman sure does talk a lot…” Muttered Keith.

Plaxum ignored Keith’s comment. “Fish is tasty and great for you. It’s all you need for a beauty diet. I eat fish for three meals a day. Thanks to that my skin is soft and tender!” For emphasis she poked her pointer fingers inter her dimples to make a more exaggerated grin. However, when she did this she exposed her arms. Her upper arms were not as slim as the rest of her.

“Tender?” Questioned Keith. “Don’t you mean flabby?”

Plaxum pouted a little and sighed. “Yeah… I’m sad to admit it, but ever since I came here I haven’t been able to go swimming as much as I used to… And I have started to eat some more tuna… Now people are pointing out that my arms bulge out of my gloves like a pot belly pig…”

“... Was that a jab at me?” Growled Keith.

Lance sighed and quickly intervened. “Please excuse him. He’s an idiot.”

“Hey!”

“Ah, no problem.” Said Plaxum. “Anyway, let me tell you what we have in stock today and maybe you can buy some?”

“Sure.” Said Lance. “What do you have?”

Plaxum clapped her hands. “Okay, so we have some great horse mackerel today…” As she gestured to the fish the skin around her eyes and forehead started to dry and flake. “I can also recommend the skip… jack… tuna… I…” She started coughing and her voice went raspy.

“Are you okay?” Asked Lance. “Is something wrong?”

“I… I’m fine…” She croaked as she started to step back. “J-just give me a second…” She quickly grabbed a bucket, stuck the hose that was pumping water into the fish tank into the bucket, and mixed in a descaler solution. She then shoved her face into it. Seconds later she came back up with her skin as fresh as ever. “Sorry about that. My scales were getting dry.”

“...” Lance just looked over at Keith for confirmation.

The elf nodded. “Yep. That’s a mermaid. Half human, half fish. The jury is still out if a human fucked a fish or if a fish fucked a human.”

Plaxum seemed to take offense to that. “Hey! That’s mean! I have legs right now!”

“Yeah, well how do you do that?” Asked Keith. “Never seen a mermaid on land before.”

“Oh, mermaid medicine.” She said. 

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t mermaid medicine really hard to come by? Like, isn’t it made from distilled mermaid tears?”

She shrugged. “Well yeah, but in this world we found an amazing substitute. This!” She took a bottle of 5hour energy from her pocket and showed it to them. “Here. This medicine has some or similar components to mermaid tears. One gulp keeps us transformed for up to 5 hours.”

Keith took the bottle from him and looked at the bottle. “Huh, interesting… It’s interesting how something like this exists in this world.”

Plaxum nodded in agreement. “Yep You never- EEK!” There was a loud thump and Plaxum fell over. The two men looked over the counter at Plaxum. She was on the ground now, with her lower half now being fishtail.

“Are you okay?” Asked Lance.

Plaxum gave him a thumbs up. “Yeah. I’m good… Unfortunately I can’t really swim in this form… Because my arms are so flabby. It’s embarrassing…. Well, I guess I could transform and swim in the ocean when there aren’t many people around… I don’t like the levels of salt and pollution in this world’s ocean, and when I’m in human form I sink like a rock…”

“Um… Well I can’t do much about the ocean, but I can help a little with the arm stuff.” Said Lance.

Plaxum looked down at her arms and poked her arm a few times. “Really? You can fix this?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. I believe many women suffer from sagging upper arms. This sagging is typically caused by atrophying muscle, falling metabolism, and fat storing up. In the case of upper arms, training your biceps and triceps seem to help reduce the sagging. You’re going to want to work your triceps and biceps. Not using your muscles causes them to weaken, so you should do some light muscle training.”

“Hmmm…” Plaxum rubbed her chin in thought. “Light training you say?”

“Yep. But if you train too hard, muscle and fat will make your arms bigger.”

“I’d get swole?”

“Um I guess?” Lance shook his head. “Anyway, I think pushups should be effective. You can do pushups against a wall if you like. Keep your back straight and do about 5-10 reps with 10 second intervals.”

“Oh, that sounds pretty easy.”

“Yeah, using dumbbells is also good.”

“I don’t own a dumbbell…”

Lance shrugged. A lot of people didn’t have dumbbells. “That’s fine. You can use a 500ml plastic bottle filled with water instead.”

“Huh… alright.”

Lance smiled and handed Plaxum her 5hour energy bottle back. “Here. Also, since your problem seems to be in your arms, I also suggest a lymph massage after exercising and a bath. First, massage in circles under your armpit . Then to massage your arm you squeeze from wrist to elbow and then from elbow to armpit.”

Plaxum quickly downed her bottle of 5hour energy and did the massages Lance told her to do. “Huh… Alright. That was really nice of you. Thanks… Um?”

“Lance. The name is Lance.”

She smiled. “Lance. Thank you Lance. Oh, I want to give you something to thank you.” She started to dig around the back for a bit before she came back up with a large plastic container with a green stripe on it. It was full of small orange balls. “Ta-da! Top tier salmon roe! Please take it!”

“Isn’t that stuff really expensive? Can we really take it?” Asked Lance. He wasn’t a huge fan of salmon roe, but he knew his mama was on a Japanese kick these days. She would probably really appreciate it.

Plaxum shrugged. “Nah, it’s all good. This is close to the expiration date anyway. No one buys it since it’s so expensive. We sell it to restaurants, but they don’t buy all of it. You’ll be doing us a favour if you guys take it.”

“Oh, well in that case I guess we’ll take it.”

Keith looked at the box in mild horror. “Ew, what are those weird pimple, spider egg looking things?”

“Salmon fish eggs.” Said Lance. “They are pretty good.”

“Fish eggs?” Keith looked like he was going to be sick. “That’s… And you eat them raw? Straight out of a fish’s coochy?”

Lance snorted back a laugh. He did not expect Keith to ever utter the phrase; straight out of a fish’s coochy. “I’m pretty sure they are washed before they are sold. Look, why don’t you give them a try? You might actually like it and we can work on adding more fish and fish based things to your diet? Adding more protein might help.”

Plaxum happily held up a spoon. “Here. Love it or hate it, you have to give them a try. They are little balls of flavour.”

Keith frowned and put a few on a spoon. “Okay… Well, I’ll give them a try…” He didn’t look very happy about it, but he put the spoon in his mouth and slowly chewed, making a face the whole time.

Plaxum giggled at his reaction. “So? How are they? What do you think? I-” She suddenly paused and looked down at the lid. “Wait… Green stripe? Oh no… Oh no… no, no, no, no…”

“Is something wrong?” Asked Lance.

“These… These are the wrong eggs…” Said Plaxum. “These… These are my eggs…”

Everyone froze in horror. Was this like some chicken thing where mermaids would just lay eggs every once in a while? Was it a seasonal thing? Were those eggs even fertilized? Lance slowly looked over at Keith. The elf’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted. His body was twitching slightly as his body shut down from the horror of eating a mermaid’s eggs.

“Shit!” Cried Lance. “Someone bring him some french fries, stat! He needs a palate cleanser right now!”

“Isn’t he being overly dramatic?!” Asked Plaxum as she went to grab some fries for the unconscious elf man.


	140. Ba Sing Se (AtLA AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of them actually start to meet up! Things happen! Bending stuff happens! Idiots bond over bending things! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It took a while, close to a month, but the duo had made it to Ba Sing Se. Lance had spent the entire trip in absolute awe as he pointed at everything and asked Hunk what on earth he was looking at. He also managed to see a family of turtle ducks. Lance was so tempted to tray and swim out into the pond to grab them, but Hunk managed to stop him.

But now that they were in the Earthbender capitol? Lance’s excitement had cranked up to a million. He was practically bouncing in his seat as Hunk carefully drove the wagon into the market district and started to set up his stall.

Lance grinned and happily spun around as he tried to take it all in. “We’re here!” He said. “I can’t believe we’re here!”

Hunk chuckled as he set up the stall. “Yep. We’re here. We’ll just set up for today and then we can have a look around for a bit. You good with that?”

“Heck yeah!” Lance happily helped Hunk set the stall up. They had stopped off in several towns along the way and Hunk had managed to sell and trade a bunch of different things. Lance, as it turns out, was a pretty good salesman. Being from the Northern watertribe really helped too. Lance was able to show some of the young ladies and older women how to do their hair in the style of the waternation women. It helped that they would need some of the whalebone clips and pendants to make everything stay in place properly.

He helped Hunk get everything ready before Hunk took out a list. “Okay, so like I said when we were coming here, I have a few people I need to deliver some specialty items too. They are the more upper class kind of Earth Kingdom society. Want to come with me?”

“Yeah!”

Hunk grinned and handed Lance a box. “Here. Carry this one. I have the other.”

Lance whined a little at the weight but shut up when he saw that the box Hunk was carrying was much larger than his. They went to some of the more fancy areas of the city and Lance was in awe at the fancy architecture. So different from the way they built things in the Water tribe. 

They visited a few fancier shops in some high end district of the Earth Kingdom. It was nice. Lance loved looking at all of the fancy clothes and things in the windows. He got a few looks from some people that probably hadn’t seen someone from the watertribe before. It was fine. Lance was happy enough to smile at them and nod.

They went around the back of one of the clothes shops and Hunk talked to the owner and showed them some of the fabrics and fancy hair combs. The shop owner happily took the items and paid Hunk his money. They went around to a few more shops before them moved out of that area and into a more residential area.

The residential area was still very upper class and they got a few judgemental looks from people as they walked by. Yeah, Lance was used to the more upper class levels of society considering he was technically related to royalty, but these looks they were getting were weird. Hunk easily ignored it, but Lance didn’t like it.

They got to a rather fancy looking house and Hunk knocked on the door. A rather old looking woman answered the door. She smiled kindly at Hunk and Lance. “It’s good to see you again Hunk. The journey to the Northern Watertribe went well, I take it?”

“Yeah, it always does. I have some of those scrolls you asked for and a whale bone sculpture.” He gestured over to the box that Lance was carrying.”

The older woman smiled and nodded. “I see. Thank you very much.” They looked over at Lance and bowed slightly. “Hello. My name is Ryner. I am a scholar. Who might you be?”

“Oh, the name’s Lance.” He said. “I’m kind of an aspiring diplomat in the Northern Watertribe. Kind of related to the Princess. All that kind of stuff.”

“Ah, so are you a water bender?”

“Yep. I’m a waterbender.”

“How interesting… I haven’t met a waterbender in person before…” She shook her head and took a step back. “Where are my manners? Come in for a drink.”

“Thanks Ryner.” Hunk gestured for Lance to follow and the two of them walked into a room filled with books and interesting artifacts from all around the world. Hunk gestured for Lance to put the box down on a desk.

Ryner happily followed them a few minutes later with a tray of tea. “Would one of you mind opening the box for me? I would like to inspect the sculpture you brought me.” Hunk happily took it out for her. To Lance it was a pretty standard sculpture of people first learning to waterbend from observing the moon. “A very beautiful piece.” They happily put it on their shelf and looked at the scrolls that Hank brought her.

As she looked through her scrolls, Lance looked around the room to see what other things were there. She had a few interesting looking artifacts from all over. He noticed the Fire Nation pottery and helmet along with other things from the Earth Kingdom. His eyes landed on a piece depicting the lion turtles.

“Do you like this piece?” Asked Ryner.

Lance nodded. “Yeah. It’s pretty cool. I mean, I know the lion turtles gave us the power to bend and all that… But waterbenders were the only ones able to relearn how to bend water by watching the moon and the ocean.”

Ryner smiled and nodded. “Yep. I hope this isn’t too forward, but can I ask you a few things about your bending? I don’t often get the chance to pick the brains of someone like you.” 

“Oh, I totally get it. I’ve been bugging Hunk with questions about earthbending and just the Earth Kingdom in general.”

Hunk chuckled and drank some of the tea that Ryner had brought them. “It’s true. He’s been trying to steal turtle ducks from ponds all the way here.”

“They are adorable!” 

Suddenly an iguana parrot climbed in through the window and swooped down onto Ryner’s shoulder. Both Hunk and Lance jumped in shock. Ryner just chuckled and gave the creature a bit of jerky out of a pouch on her pocket.

“Since when did you get a pet?” Asked Hunk. He walked over and cooed at the animal. “Aw, hey there little guy. You have such pretty feathers.”

The iguana parrot made a happy chirping sound at the praise. Ryner chuckled and scratched under the animal’s chin. “Oh, Rover isn’t mine. He belongs to the children of some friends of mine. They must almost be back…”

The front door opened and two people walked in. They looked like siblings. The taller of the two was carrying a box of scrolls and the younger seemed to have a bag with food. The smaller one quickly ran forward and took Rover from Ryner’s shoulder.

“Hey Ryner. Sorry about Rover. I thought he would wait by the front door but he saw an open window and well… You know how he is. Are we interrupting something?”

“Not at all.” Ryner was happy to introduce them to each other. “Matt, Pidge, this is Hunk and Lance. Hunk is a merchant I usually get to bring me things from the Fire Nation and Water Tribes.”

“Nice to meet you.” Said Lance.

The smaller one, Pidge, looked up at Lance and crossed their arms. “Are you from a Water Tribe?”

“Yep. Northern Water Tribe waterbender here.”

Her eyes lit up “Oh cool. You’re a bender too! I’m an Earthbender, and soon to be Metalbender.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Yeah, once you manage to bend a piece of metal.”

“... Shut up Matt.”

“Where are you guys from?” Asked Hunk quickly. He wanted to try and defuse the situation between the siblings.

“Kyoshi island.” Said the two at the same time.

Hunk seemed impressed. “Oh wow. I’ve been there a few times myself. I might have seen you there. Still an all woman army there?”

Matt nodded. “Yep. Women are still the only ones allowed to be warriors on Kyoshi island. Freaked me out the first time I got off the island and found out men would take up a sword and not leave the fighting to the much more vicious sex.”

“I’m not vicious damn it!” Snapped Pidge.

Matt snickered and ignored Pidge. “So where are you from Hunk?”

“Just a small village close to Chameleon bay.”

“Oh nice.” As the two of them talked, Pidge looked like they were sizing Lance up.

Lance looked down at Pidge and raised an eyebrow. “You alright there short stack?” Pidge frowned and stomped the ground. The floor opened up under Lance and he fell into a hole up to his chest with a yelp. “Hey?!”

“Who’s the short stack now?”

Lance pouted. He spat on the ground and quickly moved his hands to manipulate his spit to fly through the air and hit her in the ear. Pidge yelped and started whining to Ryner and Matt. It made them chuckle and Ryner did some bending of her own to get Lance out and restore her floor.

“Now, now everyone.” She said in a calm tone. “No bending in the house. Remember the house rule Pidge? If you want to practice bending, unless I say otherwise, it’s outside.”

Pidge and Lance both grumbled and nodded. Pidge suddenly noticed the waterskin Lance had on his hip. “... So… Wanna try a little something I read about?”

“Like what?” Asked Lance sceptically.

“Filtration.” Said Pidge. “You need an earthbender and a waterbender to do it.”

“Sure. Let’s do it.” Lance was always up for learning new techniques.

***

“Shiro?”

“Yes Keith?”

“I fucking hate this place.” They had been in Ba Sing Se for all of five minutes and Keith wanted to burn it down and everyone in it… and then himself. It was way too crowded, noisy, and loud. He hated how loud it was. So many people… and everyone was staring at them. Sure, it was probably because Shiro was an airbender and while there were a few of them around, they weren’t common. He hated people looking at him or in his general direction.

Shiro sighed and put his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Calm down buddy. Just take a few deep breaths and it’ll be okay.”

“Okay.” Keith attempted to do what he said, but he was finding it very difficult.

Shiro seemed to notice that Keith was getting distressed to some degree, so he did his best to lead Keith to a small alleyway in between some buildings to calm down a little. That helped a lot.

“Why are we even here again?” Asked Keith.

“Helping you find inner peace.” Said Shiro calmly. “I’ve heard from people that there are some places here where you can train your body and mind. To calm and temper the fire within you. Some places are willing to teach fighting techniques to anyone and I think you might benefit from learning a different fighting style.”

“Seriously?”

“Well mediating doesn’t seem to be helping you much.”

“True…” Keith sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Where are we going to stay?”

“We’ll find a place. Don’t worry about it.” He patted Keith on the shoulder and smiled kindly at him. “Come on. We’ll find a place to sleep, and get some food. Sound good to you?”

“Yeah, sounds good…” Muttered Keith. He was kind of hungry.


	141. Theft (Android AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was a little late coming out. Was a little busy doing some things. But I am here now and I present to you, the next chapter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Allura’s plan was pretty simple. She had given Acxa the list which she had shared with Lotor, Ezor and Zethrid. Lotor had just come back from a recon mission. Nothing crazy. He was literally just scouting out stores to see what the latest upgrades and or models were that were coming out. Which ones were being repurposed for commercial use. That kind of stuff.

He personally preferred more espionage related missions, that or planning them with Allura. After the spectacular disaster that was the first generation of androids, Lotor was part of the second generation. Thankfully he wasn’t created with sex in mind. He was created more to be a butler for the upper, upper class of society. The 0.01%... Still didn’t stop Lotor for deciding to garrote his owner after just a little too much disrespect. Then again being used for target practice by entitled shits would do that to an android.

Over the years he had found, gathered, and upgraded his body until he found Allura and Voltron. She was on another level of intellect. Whoever had designed her had taken tame and care to make her as human as possible. She was even using her skills to help upgrade a personal butler A.I she called Coran.

She had lofty ideals and grand plans. They two of them had clashed a few times when it came to their approach to humans and how they should go about creating their own paradise, but in the end things seemed to be working out well. They were so close to leaving this place for good. They just needed the parts to make a reliable energy source. Once they had that, they would be free.

Gathering most of the parts they needed was pretty simple. They had managed to gather and scrounge together enough credits to buy things like nuts and bolts from warehouses. Other, more specialised things they needed to steal from one very specialized building. 

It was a specialized plastic cylinder that was used in the cooling pump system in an android’s system. Lotor wasn’t really sure what the cylinder was going to be used for in terms of solar power, but if Allura wanted it then he would get it.

So he, Ezor, Zethrid, and Acxa were standing on a building overlooking the android warehouse. It looked like an intimidating compound with the barbed wire fence, spotlights, and patrolling guards/drones.

“Ezor, what’s the easiest way to get in?” Lotor asked her.

Ezor hummed a little as she quickly looked around and scanned the area. Since she had joined them, Ezor had been upgrading her agility and dexterity to the point she could probably work as an assassin if she wanted to. She might have gone a little overboard, but she had vowed that she would never be taken advantage of by another human again. He could respect that.

“East side.” She said. “There’s a small blind spot that the drones don’t pass and judging from the way the guards are walking around, they are probably not going to walk to that blind spot for at least half an hour.”

Lotor nodded. “Right. Find us an alternative exit route if it takes up longer than half an hour.”

“Rodger.”

“Acxa, can you find a vantage point to take out anyone that might spot us?”

The blue haired woman nodded and switched her guns settings from kill to stun. “I will. Don’t worry.”

Lotor then looked at Zethrid. “You’ll need to hide anyone that Acxa takes out. We can’t afford to let anyone know who we are and what we are doing. If needed… do you still have that explosive on you?”

Zethrid held up a small plastic explosive. If needed, they could quickly set it up and detonate it. Better the humans assume they are trying to cripple their supplies rather than know what they were taking.

“I got this Lotor.”

“Excellent.” He adjusted the bag on his back and looked back at Ezor. “Do you have a way out yet?”

“Yep.” She pointed to a bridge. “We can jump off of that and use the sewer system. There’s also a large drain pipe in the North East corner.”

“Perfect. Let’s go.”

The group quickly headed to the blind spot and carefully waited until the next guards walked past. Once they were gone Lotor took out a pair of bolt cutters and quickly started to clip away at the wires. When he was done Zethrid quickly pulled it open and everyone slipped inside.

Acxa and Zethrid quickly went off to secure the area while Lotor and Ezor slipped away to the main warehouse. The two of them hid behind a crate and quickly scouted out the area. There was one human standing around with a clipboard and several standard stock androids walking around in hi vis uniforms. They didn’t even have skin textures. They were just standard white, plastic, uniformed androids. Nothing distinguishable about them. They probably didn’t even have personalities programmed into them. It was depressing.

Ezor gestured for Lotor to turn on his internal intercom system, which he quickly did. He quickly linked up with the rest of the women on his team.

 _“Oh good, you joined the call.”_ Said Acxa calmly. _“As I was saying, it seems like there are mostly human guards walking around and androids are the workers. This standard type of warehouse android are programmed to just do one job over and over again. As long as we don’t interfere with their work they will ignore us, but we probably shouldn’t be seen by them. They record everything.”_

 _“Not too hard to shut them down for a few minutes.”_ Said Zethrid. _“They still haven’t gotten around to the weak points in their necks.”_

“Will do babe.” Said Ezor. “Stay safe lightning bug.”

 _“You too bumblebee.”_ Said Zethrid.

The pet names made Lotor smile. Those two were adorable. “Okay. Remember, if things go south, split up and get out. If things go really, really bad…”

 _“We know.”_ Said Acxa calmly. _“Let’s just get through this. We need to do this if we want to be self sufficient from humans.””_

“Agreed.” Said Lotor. “Everyone keep a low profile. Just in and out. Nothing unnecessary.”

Everyone made a small noise of agreement and they quickly went about their duties. Since the androids were going about their duties as pre-programmed into them, Ezor and Lotor managed to sneak inside. They both knew the serial number they needed to find.

“I’ll take the West side. You take East?” Asked Ezor.

Lotor nodded and quickly headed to the East side of the building. He quickly looked over the boxes and quickly realised that he was in the wrong section. He quickly informed Ezor that he would be coming over to help her look on the West side.

 _“Roger dodger Lotor. I found what we need anyway.”_ She said. _“I- oh crap.”_

Lotor didn’t like the sound of that and he headed over to where Ezor was. He quickly got into contact with Zethrid and Acxa. “Heads up, we might have some trouble.”

 _“Rodger.”_ Said both Zethrid and Acxa.

Lotor looked around the corner and saw Ezor. She had been cornered by one of the warehouses androids. “Identification please.” They said to her.

“Um, looks like I left my ID at home…” She said.

“Identification please.” They repeated.

“Look, I don’t have it. But I am authorised to be here so…”

The android quickly scanned her face and frowned. “Please come with me. You are not authorised to be here.”

“... Alright.” Said Ezor calmly. “Please lead the way.”

“Please follow me.” The second the android turned their back to her, Ezor raised her hand and swiftly struck them in the neck. They crumbled to the ground in a heap. As soon as they hit the floor Ezor started opening up a crate and stuffed her bag.

Lotor quickly went over to her and did the same with the pipes in a second box. “We’re going to have to cut this short… I think they upgraded the androids here. They haven’t asked for an ID before.”

Ezor nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Guess we’ve robbed a few too many places huh?”

“Possibly.” Muttered Lotor. He quickly filled his bag and looked at her. “Ready to get going?”

“Yep.” 

Lotor nodded and the two of them quickly dumped the temporarily disabled android into one of the boxes and quickly started to make their way towards the exit. Lotor quickly updated Acxa and Zethrid on the situation. “They have upgraded security slightly. The androids here are asking for IDs now. Ezor incapacitated one, but we’re unsure if they will immediately call the police when they reactivate or if they already set off an alarm.”

 _“They set of an alarm.”_ Said Acxa calmly. _“I can see the lights already. There must have been a unit close by.”_

“Fuck.” Cursed Lotor. “Okay, everyone get out anyway you can. Meet back at the ship. From here on out all communication is to cease. Understood?” Once he got confirmation from everyone he split up from Ezor and quickly headed towards the nearest exit. The drain pipe at the North East corner.

He heard the sirens going off and inwardly cringed. He always hated the sound of sirens. He quickly moved to the shadows as some guards ran by him. There was suddenly an explosion and one of the cargo trucks flipped through the air. Zethrid seemed to have gone overboard with the plastic explosives. At least it was attracting people to the South of the complex and away from him.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Acxa running and jumping from crate to crate. She looked like she was heading to the bridge. Lotor continued to sneak around and eventually found the manhole for the drain. It looked like it had recently been moved. Ezor or Zethrid probably made it through there. He was about to make a break for it when he saw a flash of silver.

“Freeze!” They snapped. Lotor skidded to a stop and looked over at the man who so rudely interrupted his escape. They were wearing a cop uniform and had a severely out of date haircut. “But the bag down slowly… And put your hands behind your head.” They said.

Lotor did as he was told. He put the bag on the ground and put his hands behind his head. This was bullshit. One asshole cop ran away from the damn explosion. He had to think of a way out of this. He felt the person grab his wrists and forced them behind his back, quickly cuffing him.

The buzz of static alerted him to the fact that he was using a radio now. “This is officer Griffin requesting backup. I have a suspect in custody. Some old klunker of an android. We by the-” There was a mighty thwack sound and thump behind him.

Lotor looked over his shoulder to see officer Griffin out cold on the ground. Standing behind him was an android with black hair and greyish purple eyes. Lotor raised an eyebrow as he watched the android take the keys off of Griffin and unlock his cuffs.

They shared a look. Both knew better than to speak when the police were around. Just because Griffin was face down didn’t mean his bodycam wasn’t working anymore. There was still audio. Lotor didn’t know who they were, but they might have been an undercover agent of Allura. He didn’t know all of them, especially if they had to change faces to blend in.

Lotor just nodded, grabbed the bag, and quickly climbed into the sewers. Before he closed the lid over again, he heard the android speaking. “Officer Griffin! Are you alright?!” They called out in shock.

Lotor grinned to himself as he made it into the sewers. They had mapped out the sewers decades ago so he was in and out in less than ten minutes. It took a few more minutes of slipping through the back allies until he could see the old ship yard. He sighed and called up the others.

“Okay, everyone sound off. One.”

_“Two.”_

_“Three.”_

_“Four.”_

They all breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay. That’s good. How close is everyone to the rendezvou point?”

_“Practically there.”_

_“Two minutes.”_

_“Already on deck.”_

“That’s good. I’m about five minutes away. You didn’t lose anything Ezor?”

_“Nope. Got it all safe and sound.”_

“Good work. I have everything too.” Said Lotor calmly. “By the way does Allura have anyone in the local police force? I was almost arrested but was saved by an android. Some K series by the look of it.”

 _“That was probably Keith.”_ Said Acxa. _“He used to be Akira, you met him a few times. You even took part in destroying his previous body.”_

Lotor was mildly surprised. “Oh, okay. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting him yet in his current body. Well, at least not properly. Anyway, let’s properly celebrate once we get back to the ship.” He would inquire more about Keith later. 

***

Shiro and Keith watched as James was loaded into the back of a police car. Keith didn’t mean to hit him that hard, but he’d be lying if he didn’t say it was fun. Shiro was not going to be happy about him giving his fellow officer a concussion. And possibly a fractured skull. But that was neither here nor there for Keith. 

The official story he was going with was that he got there just in time to see two deviant androids escaping down the sewer drain. As officer Griffin was injured, Keith tended to him first and got him medical help as saving his life was more important than going after the androids.

He and Shiro weren’t even meant to be there that night. They just happened to be driving by on the way back to the station. Now they were doing overtime. More paperwork. Fun. Keith hated paperwork.

When they got back to the car Shiro sighed heavily. “You hit him didn’t you?”

“He’s still alive, right?”

“You still shouldn’t do that… You have any idea why Allura needed them to raid the warehouse and blow up a truck?”

Keith shrugged. “No clue.”

Shiro sighed again and shook his head. “Right… Well, send Adam and Lance a message that we will be an hour or two late to file this paperwork away.”

“Yeah… Fine…” Keith frowned and sent them both a message telling them of their situation. Adam responded with a simple; OK. However, Lance’s message was a little more elaborate.

_You’re not coming over tonight? But I got a new puzzle! I wanted to show you some painting stuff that I got today… Please come over tomorrow? I want to see you again.”_

Keith smiled slightly. He wanted to see Lance again too. He quickly shot off another quick message to him.

_Don’t worry Lance. We’ll meet up tomorrow. I promise. I love you._

It took a few minutes before Lance sent back a reply.

_Love you too._

“What are you grinning about?” Asked Shiro with a small smile. “Is Lance sending you cat and dog memes again?” Lance had made it a bit of a habit to fill Keith’s image files with cute cat and dog memes.

“No. Just sharing some texts with each other.” Said Keith.

“Loving Lance has made you all soft.”

“And?”

“It’s not a bad thing.” Said Shiro. “I think it’s nice. Love, in most forms, is a beautiful thing. I’m glad you found him.”

“Thanks.” Keith sighed a little and looked out the window. Tomorrow he could see Lance.


	142. Pod (Witch AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mama is now happy. Not happy at all. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was so confused. Well, not that confused, but still very confused. He was sitting on the beach, surrounded by seals, which were apparently Lance’s family. The two seal pups were happily waddling around him and tugging at his robes. The smaller of the adults seals, more than likely the pups mother, gently herded the pups away from him when they tugged more aggressively on his sleeves.

He looked over at Lance’s father. He was sitting between Lance and a much, much larger seal. Must have been Lance’s older brother. They seemed happy enough. Though Keith really had no what to do. There was a lot of honking and other weird seal noises. He was so confused.

Suddenly the largest seal waddled over to Keith and made a bellowing noise at him, or them? Either way the seals paid attention, made some small honking sounds, and the big seal flopped back into the ocean and swam away.

“... Um, where are they going?” Asked Keith.

The larger of the seals around him took off their seal skin, and quickly tied it around themselves like a robe. She was quite curvy and buxom and had very wild, untamed looking brown hair. Keith had heard Lance’s father say her name earlier, but it was lost on him.

“He’s going to let their mother know that we found Lance.” She said. “By the way, my name is Lisa. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Said Keith. “... Did you guys not know he became my familiar?”

“No.” Said Lisa. “One day Lance was there and he was gone… It caused a fair bit of panic in our pod.”

“Oh… Lance never mentioned… I’m so sorry.” Now Keith felt even more guilty than he did before. He didn’t mean to rip Lance away from his family. He never freaked out and said he needed to get back to the ocean to be with his family… Maybe he should just let Lance go? Sure Keith wouldn’t be able to get another familiar since was kind of a one time kind of deal spell… But Lance had a family… Keith could get a pet if he felt lonely enough...

“It’s okay.” Said Lisa. “You’ve taken good care of him by the look of it.”

“I’ve tried my best.” Said Keith quietly. “I didn’t expect him to… I didn’t expect him to be my familiar. Our manna is the opposite of each other.” No matter how many times he had said it and tried to reassure himself that it was all alright, it just didn’t sit right with him.

The pups happily honked at Lisa before they both waddled over towards Lance. The three seals made many loud noises before they quickly waddled back to the sea. One of them decided to roll on their side instead.

Lisa chuckled. “Nadia takes after her aunty Veronica… So you’re from the more central, inland parts of the world?”

“Yeah.”

“How is that working out for you?”

“It’s pretty dry.”

“I’d imagine so… Do you have a big pod?”

“A pod is like family, right?” Asked Keith. “No, it’s just me and Shiro. He’s kind of like my older brother… He also has his familiar, Adam. Adam is a phoenix. His feathers are bright red and beautiful when he’s young… But when he gets older his feathers get darker, like embers slowly going out. Then he catches fire and gets reborn as an ugly looking baby bird.”

Lisa chuckled. “Baby birds are pretty weird looking… Is that normal for a phoenix? To catch fire?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, okay… Land creatures are quite odd.”

“I could say the same for sea creatures.”

“Very true.” She looked out at her pups playing with Lance in the water and smiled. “Was Lance trying to teach you how to swim before?”

“Yeah… Fire wicches don’t mix well with water… But this kind of stuff is important to him so…” Keith sighed a little and brushed some sand off his pants as he stood up. “I’m going to give you guys some time to do family stuff… I’ll um… I’ll be around… somewhere…”

He waved goodbye to her and went on a bit of a walk. He walked away from the town and walked up a cliff to just think for a bit. The more he thought about Lance and his family the more guilty he felt. He didn’t want to break up a family. He sighed heavily and made a small fire. Being a wicche was hard.

***

After about three hours of playing with his niece and nephew, Lance had beached himself. He needed to rest. He wasn’t a young pup anymore and didn’t have the energy to keep up with them. Thankfully the pups decided they wanted Lance’s papa to toss them into the ocean from the shallows.

Lisa happily waddled over to him in her seal form and flopped down by him. _“You okay there?”_

_“Yeah… I’m just so tired… Where’s Keith?”_

_“He wanted to give you some time with your family.”_

_“Oh, that’s nice… How mad do you think mama is at me?”_

_“She is going to chase you with a clam.”_

_“... Damn it.”_ He buried his head in the sand and huffed. _“I don’t wanna get killed by the clam.”_

Lisa chuckled and looked over at her pups happily playing with their abuelo. _“She might scream at you a bit, but she’s not going to clobber you… too badly…”_

_“... Fun.”_

Suddenly there was a splash and a very chipper scream before Lance was getting crushed by his twin sister, Rachel. _“I thought you died!”_ She exclaimed.

Lance groaned in annoyance and tried to wriggle out of it. _“Why?”_

 _“Because you are a dick.”_ Said Rachel. _“You upset mama so badly. She was crying pearls for days! She’s gonna beat your ass with a clam!”_

Lance sighed and let Rachel continue to try and crush him. She wasn’t as big as him when they were in their seal form, as most female seals were smaller than their male counterparts anyway. Speaking of the males in his family… they quickly appeared with Veronica and their mama. She. Was. Pissed.

 _“LANCE!!!”_ She bellowed. _“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”_ She couldn’t really do much in her seal form, so she nipped at his flippers and the fat around his neck. Which he deserved. She headbutted him too. _“YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH! YOU- oh hello dear.”_ She looked up at her husband who had walked back onto land with the pups quickly following him.

The old man smiled and patted her head. “The pod was pretty close by huh? You’re still as beautiful as ever.”

His mama blushed a little and took off her seal skin, tying it around her body like a toga. “Aw, you flatter me so much dear.” She quickly kissed his cheek before she grabbed Lance by the tail and dragged him back to the house. Lance just let this happen. His siblings were happily waddling after Lance and making fun of him all the way.

Once everyone got to the house they pulled their seal skins off and either tied it around themselves as skirts or togas. Lance’s papa was already pulling out the big pot to do some cooking outside.

“Marco, Rachel, you still some of the best hunters in the pod? Go and get us some fish.” He said. The two complained about just taking their skins off, but happily returned to the ocean. The pups wanted to stick around their abuelo and helped him get firewood while Lisa watched them. Luis and Veronica helped their papa bring out knives and other things to help clean the fish.

Lance attempted to sneak away, but his mama quickly stopped him. “Oh not you don’t young man!” She snapped. “What do you think you are doing? We are having a talk, right now!”

“Y-yes mama…” 

The two of them sat on the chairs in the house and she glared at him. “Luis said you’re a familiar to a fire wicche. What is this?”

Lance sunk in his chair and shrugged. “I um… You know… Stuff and things…”

“Lance!”

He shrunk down in his seat even more. “I… I um… I’m sorry… I heard a call and it was warm… It was dry… It felt like land and I… I just moved towards it and the next thing I knew I was in a room with two wicches looking at me. Keith-”

“Who?”

“The fire wicche that summoned me.” Said Lance. “Keith did some blessing on me that did nothing because I could already speak and understand him and I… I was his familiar… He took care of me, he has been taking care of me.”

“And where is this wicche now?” She did not sound happy at all.

“Um… Probably around the village somewhere…” Muttered Lance as he nervously played with the edge of his seal skin. “He said he wanted to give me time to be with my family… I um… I don’t think he really knew that I got pulled away from you guys so suddenly… I think he feels bad…”

“He better feel bad!” She snapped. “How dare he take you from our pod! Who does he think he is? Damn wicches! Those people are nothing but trouble! Just as bad as the bastards that steal and burn selkie skins!”

“Keith isn’t like that!” Said Lance quickly. “He’s been nothing but kind to me since we first met! He’s been trying really hard to make sure I’m comfortable at his house… Sure we don’t get a lot of fish, but Keith feeds me chicken instead and it tastes pretty similar! A-and you’ve never met him… He’s really nice… He’s hardly an adult…”

His mama was still not impressed. “I don’t care if he is an adult or not. What kind of monster would keep any creature that shows high levels of intelligence and emotion as a glorified pet? He should have let you go immediately! He-”

“Keith is not a bad person!” Snapped Lance. “And he didn’t force me to be his familiar! I was tired of being in the pod mama! The pod rotates between three different islands all year! I want to explore! I want to see the world! I heard Keith reaching out and asking if someone would like to be with him and I… I chose to go to him… I left the pod! Keith didn’t take me away!”

His mama was quiet. She looked too shocked to hear that Lance actually wanted to leave the pod. It probably broke her heart. It upset Lance too. He didn’t want to upset anyone and just wanted to live his life. Being Keith’s familiar had just been convenient for him. 

“I like Keith mama…” Said Lance quietly. “He’s so nice to me and hardly asks me to do anything for him… I’ve already seen so many strange and interesting things while on land and I… I want to stay with him mama. I want to be his familiar… You’ll like him too if you meet him… Papa doesn’t like Keith very much, but he’s warming up to him, I think? Maybe… I hope so...”

“... I don’t want someone to take advantage of you.” Said his mama quietly. “You’re so young and most people… They don’t…”

“... It worked out with you and papa…”

“Your papa didn’t summon me and keep me like a pet.” She reminded him.

“... Keith doesn’t treat me like a pet.” Muttered Lance. Keith was sweet to him, and he put up with his antics when he didn’t want to do human things and just wanted to be a fat seal… and he… Lance had noticed that Keith was an incredibly lonely man. He didn’t have a pod. It was literally just the two of them. Shiro dropped by every now and then with Adam, but that was it.

He kind of felt pity for Keith. He didn’t get to grow up the same way he did, surrounded by loved ones. Everyone close to Keith had disappeared at a young age. The only one that had been consistent for him seemed to be Shiro, but even then… He didn’t drop by nearly as enough as Lance would expect family to visit. If Lance rejected Keith as his Master and went back to the ocean, then Keith would be lonely again.

“Keith’s never treated me like a pet or someone lesser than him.” Said Lance a little louder. “He’s treated me as an equal and is always trying to make sure I’m okay. Keith was the one that brought me here because I was starting to get homesick.”

“Lance… If you’re starting to get homesick, then you-”

“I’m not going back to the ocean.” Said Lance. “If I leave, then Keith’s going to be lonely… He lives away from the rest of everyone and people don’t visit him often. He seems happy when I’m around and I… I really like him mama…” He almost felt ashamed to say that he liked someone more than his pod. He liked Keith’s pretty long hair and pretty eyes… And surprisingly soft looking lips...

“Lance…”

“I care about him mama… Maybe I even care about him the same way you care about papa… I mean, I showed him my pearls and he didn’t want them. He said they were mine mama. He didn’t want me to cry for pearls…”

His mama seemed to be swayed slightly, but Lance doubted she was fully swayed just yet. “Lance… You should still come back to the ocean… Your pod-”

“Is still functioning without me.” Said Lance. “And it takes a little while, but I can come down to the beach to have some time with papa… I can come down and spend time with you guys when you usually come down...”

His mama sighed and left it for now. Lance didn’t really know what to do, so he just left the house and helped the rest of his family cook. Eventually mama came out of the house and helped with the cooking too. She didn’t look over at him and gave him space. She was probably thinking about what he said.

Eventually when the sun dipped and the fish was bubbling away in the pot, Keith cautiously came back. Lance grinned at him and waved. The fire wicche looked nervous but moved closer to the group by the fire.

“Um… Hi...” He said nervously.

“Everyone, this is Keith.” Said Lance. “He’s my master. His official title is Lesser arcane weapons master. Right?”

Keith nodded and smiled at him. “Yeah, That’s right.” He looked over at Lance’s papa. “Um… So should I start thinking about finding my own food?”

“Yes.”

“... Oh… Okay.”

“I’m joking. Just sit down and I’ll get you a bowl.” He said.

Keith nodded and sat on the ground a little away from everyone else. Lance didn’t like this and quickly moved to sit by him. “Hey… Where did you go?”

“Just on the cliff.” Keith gestured to the cliff. “I made myself a little fire and um… I had time to think about stuff.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“... Are you cold? Do you want to sit closer to the fire?” Asked Lance.

Keith shook his head. “I’m good.” He rubbed his hands together for a few seconds before smoke started to seep out between his fingers. When he opened his hands and cupped in his hands was a bright orange flame. “I can keep myself warm.”

“That’s so cool!” Said Silvio as he quickly ran over to them. Nadia quickly followed him. “How do you do that?” 

Keith looked a little shocked and clapped his hands shut, quickly putting out the flame. “Um… Well, there are five main types of manna in the world that all creatures have; earth, water, fire, air, and spirit. There are variations of these main five which are balanced mixes of different manna. Like, if someone has perfect balance of fire and earth manna, they could manipulate molten metal. Balanced water and air can control lightning… Spirit manna is a whole other ball game and that manna can either be positive or negative. Positive spirit manna is more commonly referred to as light manna and negative spirit manna is commonly known as dark manna.”

“Is dark manna bad?” Asked Nadia.

“Manna is neither good nor evil.” Said Keith. “It all depends on the user.”

“So how do you do fire stuff?” Asked Silvio. “Can you make another fire?”

Keith nodded and put his hands together. “For a fire wicche it’s easier for us to make fire if we have some friction. If I concentrate and channel my manna to my hands I can rub them together and…” Keith quickly rubbed his hands together until smoke seeped out from between his fingers again and he had another fire in his palms.

The selkie pups watched the fire burning with fascination. “Doesn’t it hurt?” Asked Nadia. “I’ve burnt my mouth before and that was no fun.”

Keith smiled a little and carefully moved the flame ball from one palm to another. “Wicche’s are special. When our powers manifest we gain an immunity or something special. We consider that a blessing from the goddess that has allowed us to have these powers. Fire wicches are fireproof.”

“What about other whicces?” Asked Silvio, his eyes all lit up with excitement.

“Well, water wicches can’t drown.” Said Keith. “Air wicches can hover in the air for short periods of time, spirit wicches can see in the dark, and earth wicches are incredibly strong. Selkie’s, like you two, are naturally born with high levels of water manna in you.”

“Do you think we could be water wicches?” Asked Silvio.

Keith shrugged. “I’ve only ever known humans being able to become wicches… But maybe you could use magic? I’m not sure. I’m still young and don’t know a lot.”

That answer seemed to satisfy Silvio and the two pups continued to ask Keith questions, which he happily answered. Lance couldn’t help but grin. Keith was getting along really, really well with them. He glanced over at the rest of his family. Lisa and Luis were keeping a close eye on them, which was understandable. His mama kept looking over at them. She still seemed conflicted about Keith. Hopefully they could get along. He really wanted them to.


	143. Gym Class (X-men AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, it has been a little while since I posted for this AU. Oops. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“Capture the flag!” Announced Coran with a grin. Today everyone in gym class was standing out in the middle of the woods behind the school. It was the last class of the day so no one really wanted to do much. Capture the flag sounded like an interesting concept for a group of mutants. 

Coran had started off by getting everyone to line up in the gym. He then handed out red and blue bandannas to everyone randomly as he walked down the line. They then split into two groups and walked into the woods. Keith was on team red, and Lance was on team blue.

Keith didn’t really like that, or team sports in general. He wasn’t really known as a team player and anytime he had to be involved in team sports everyone would generally avoid him. When that happened he’d usually walk off and do his own thing. Today was probably going to be no exception. They would go out, his team would make a game plan, and Keith would find a creek or something to poke around in until the bell rang.

Coran clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Alright, rules are simple, red versus blue. Your goal is to, well, capture the flag. You’re all allowed to use your powers in reason. No stabbing, setting anyone on fire, or maiming. Small cuts and abrasions are okay, but nothing deliberate. I have my eyes on all of you.” The teens muttered their acknowledgement and that pleased Coran. “Right! I will take the red team that way… and I’ll take the blue team that way.” 

Coran then split in half like an amoeba. One taking the blue team away and the other taking the red team away. Coran led them off into the woods and turned it into a quick impromptu lesson about the flora and fauna until they all decided on a spot to place their flag.

Once that was done, Coran radioed himself that team red was ready to go. He got confirmation that team blue was good to go too. With that, Coran officially started the game and the red team quickly huddled and came up with a game plan.

“Okay, so who is the fastest?”

“Anyone have plant based powers?”

“Psychics?”

“Invisibility?”

“Some psychics should stay here and the others go out to get the flag.”

They split their team in two. Half would stay back and half would attack. Keith was part of the attack team and they quickly discussed strategies. Griffin was on his team so Keith kind of expected to be excluded from most of this, but he at least tried to appear interested. Once they found the flag they were going to try a pincer maneuver and split off again into smaller groups to do so. But they had an odd number of people so Keith was left alone.

He expected as much would happen and just rolled with it. When everyone went off to try and find the flag, Keith just wandered off to do his own thing. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to join in with everyone, but he knew what people thought of him, so he just always felt like he was ruining their fun by joining in.

Keith found a rock to sit on a fair bit away from everyone and stayed there. It was nice being out in nature like this. Even if the sounds of nature were broken up by the occasional sounds of yelling and and things breaking from the game.

He sighed a little, picked up a stick, and started poking around in the dirt. It sounded fun. He hoped Lance was having fun at least. He was glad that Lance was having fun. He really fit well into the school. He wondered what kind of future Lance would have once he was done with school? He’d never really asked him.

Maybe he should ask him? That’s what friends do, right? Ask questions about pointless things that don’t really affect you, but are important to them. They talk and laugh and spend time with each other… He hadn’t really talked much with Lance, but he enjoyed being around him. Surprisingly Lance made him feel kind of safe. Not in the same way Shiro or Adam did. But it was still nice and calmed him.

His ears started twitching when he heard a branch snap. He looked up and saw Lance stumbling out from the trees and dusted the dirt out of his hair. He looked over at Keith and grinned.

“Oh hey! What’s up?”

“Are you okay?”

“Someone made a dirt ball and Griffin lobbed it at me.”

“Asshole.”

Lance shrugged. “Yeah… Anyway…” He walked over towards Keith and sat next to him. “Man… Capture the flag is intense when you’re a mutant… You taking five too?”

“Um… Yeah…” Muttered Keith. “Well at least this is the last class of the day… What are you going to do after this?”

“Probably shower.” Said Lance. “I have dirt in my hair.”

“Yeah, you do...” Keith reached out to pick some dirt out of Lance’s hair, but stopped himself when he saw his claws. He didn’t want to hurt Lance. Keith quickly moved his hand away and sighed. “I think I might take a nap…”

“Do you want to hang out in my room?” Asked Lance. “I can get out the portable heater and make sure you have a nice warm spot for you, if you like?”

Keith couldn’t help but smile a little at that. “I’d like that.”

Lance grinned. “Cool… So you gonna tell me where the red team’s flag is?”

“Gonna tell me where the blue team’s flag is?”

“Touche.” Lance yawned and stretched. “Man, I’m beat already… This week has been mental. I almost got my eyebrows burnt off this week… And Shiro’s mentor lessons are killing me too. I think I’m starting to reach the limits of my abilities. I’m starting to get headaches...”

“That’s no good.” Said Keith quietly. “You should let Shiro know you’re getting headaches. He’ll go easy on you if he knows you’re starting to hurt.”

Lance looked shocked. “What? No. I don’t want Shiro to go easy on me. I haven’t been here as long as other people have. I’m going to be out sooner than most. I need to figure out what my limitations are and how best I can do things. Shiro suggested I could possibly hit things I can’t see if I train my brain. You have any idea how hard that is to do when you have ADHD?” He let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m so far behind everyone…”

“... You’re not that far behind everyone.” Said Keith quietly. “And, your powers are really straight forward compared to other powers out there… Like, some powers can be pretty crazy. Shiro told me he talked to a mutant in Africa that can project the spirits of animals to take vengeance on the people that have killed them. They apparently work at some African reserve… How the hell does that even work?”

“... Magic?”

“Possibly.” Muttered Keith. “... And what about me? Sure, I’m some big fuzzy cat thing, but I can take on the physical characteristics of the animals I eat for a short period of time. How the fuck is that meant to work?”

“Cat magic.”

Keith rolled his eyes and lightly nudged him. “I’m not actually a cat. You know that right?”

“Yeah. I know. You’re just Keith.” Said Lance. “Just a human that has been dealt a rather unfortunate hand, but you’re still you no matter what.”

“... You really think so?”

“Yeah. I do.” A loud bell echoed through the woods and made Lance jump. “The fuck was that?!”

“The bell.” Said Keith. “Coran set up a bell out here because it’s so far away from the school. Keeps the bears away too. Come on. Time to trudge back to school.”

“... There are bears out here?”

***

In the change room, Keith usually just minded his own business. He never really cared about what was happening around him. He had long ago decided that everyone in the school hated him and he no one wanted to be with a purple cat freak like him… Unless they had very specific interests and those people generally creeped Keith the fuck out anyway… 

But he kind of felt something for Lance. Maybe? Lance was… He was nice to him and wanted to be his friend. Now he was getting changed back into his normal clothes a few feet away and Keith… Keith wanted to peek at him, and he did. A few times.

Lance was beautiful. Soft skin, toned muscles, nice hair, pretty eyes, and soft lips… Lips that he almost kissed the other day. He was still upset about that. He wanted to kiss him, but at the same time he didn’t. If he had kissed him and Lance hated it, then he would be all alone again. Keith didn’t want to be alone… Not after Lance had shown him such kindness.

And it wasn’t even like Keith had a chance with Lance anyway. Lance was bisexual. He had way more options than he did… and depending on his family life, Lance might just end up wanting to be with a woman… There was also the possibility that his family would hate him because he couldn’t hide his mutation. He was purple and furry for crying out loud. What sane family would ever give their approval to him dating their son?

He shook his head. Why was Keith even thinking about that stuff anyway? It wasn’t like he actually liked Lance in that way. It just felt nice to be wanted for once… even if the reality was that Lance didn’t want anything to do with him in that way. He’d extended a hand of friendship. That should be enough for Keith. It was a lot more than most people did.

“You okay there Keith?” Asked Lance as he pulled his shirt down. “Your ears are all droopy.”

“I’m fine.” Muttered Keith. “Just thinking about homework.”

“Don’t remind me…” Muttered Lance. “Sucks so much… Hate it. Homework prevents kids from going outside and exercising, and doing other kid stuff.” 

“Yeah… Homework sucks.” Once they were back in their normal clothes they wandered back to Lance’s room. Lance talked a lot about gym class and how cool it was to see other mutants use their powers in action. Keith wasn’t too sure what the appeal was, but he was glad Lance thought it was nice.

They got to Lance’s dorm room and Keith made himself comfortable on the ground. Lance pulled out the small portable heater and took his covers off his bed along with the pillows off his bed. He gave them to Keith and Keith made a little nesting area for himself on the ground. He liked how much it smelled like Lance. 

“Okay, well if you’re settling in, I’m going to have a quick shower.” Said Lance. He grabbed a small basket with his bathroom stuff. “You just gonna nap while I’m gone?”

“Yeah.”

“Back in twenty.” Lance happily left the room and Keith was left alone in the room.

“...” Keith sniffed Lance’s pillow a few times, and purred softly. It smelled like Lance and it smelled really nice. He couldn’t help but rub his face against it. He had quickly become infatuated with Lance. Adam would probably tell him it wasn’t healthy to feel like that towards someone he hadn’t even known for a year.

But Keith really couldn’t help it. Lance accepted him. Lance cared about him. Lance was… Keith wanted to get closer to him. He wanted to maybe rub up against him. Like, nuzzling. He’d only ever wanted to do that to Shiro when he was younger and Shiro pretty much became his brother… Maybe he liked Lance the same way he liked Shiro? Though he didn’t like the idea of kissing Shiro the same way he liked the idea of kissing Lance. 

His face suddenly burned at the memory of their first meeting. Keith had been sipping tiger blood that day and it really messed him up. He headbutted Lance and licked him. He fucking licked him too. That was so embarrassing. He really needed to work on his social skills.

A few minutes later Hunk walked in. He was a little surprised to see Keith, but smiled at him. “Hey man. You came by to take a nap?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… It’s actually kind of nice to nap when there are people around.”

“That’s good. So.. End of term is coming up…”

“Oh… Yeah, it is…” Keith usually liked it when the term was over. That meant holidays, and holidays meant that the mansion was practically empty when everyone went home to their families. Hell, even Sal, the cook, took time off and went to see his family. But this meant Lance would probably be going home too. He’d miss him a lot. Hell, he was going to miss Hunk and Pidge too. They were a little awkward around him still, but they were nice people and fun to be around.

“Yeah… Um… Sorry if this is insensitive to ask but… What do you usually do during the holidays?” Asked Hunk. “I mean, you said that you’re an orphan, and I can’t imagine Allura would just kick you out or anything so…”

“I usually stay here.” Said Keith. “A few times when I was younger Shiro and Adam would take me on short holidays. I think they were trying to make it feel like I was part of a normal family but… I really can’t stand going to new places with lots of people… I always felt kind of left out and like I was more of a burden to them, so I just stopped asking to go to places with them… It’s not that bad. Now they can go on romantic holidays together and I’ve pretty much explored every part of the forest.”

“Really? That’s pretty cool… So Allura and Coran make sure you’re okay? Like, if Adam or Shiro isn’t here?”

“Yeah… Christmas kind of sucks though.” Admitted Keith. “Allura and Coran have family back in England… I feel like if I stay here then I’m kind of just… In the way…”

“Oh…”

Keith shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal. I’m used to it.”

“Um…”

The door opened again and Lance walked in. Fresh out of the shower and smelling clean. “Back. Hey Hunk. Been back long?”

“No… Um… Keith and I were just talking about the holidays…”

“Oh shit, that’s coming up in a few weeks huh? Time really flies… What are you going to do?” He asked Hunk.

“I’m going to go visit my grandpa.” Said Hunk.

“Aw that’s nice.” Lance sat on his bed and looked at Keith. “What about you? Going to go somewhere with Shiro?”

Keith shrugged. “Probably not. Shiro has a lot of things to do around the world when he isn’t doing mentor stuff here. So I’ll just be here.”

“Oh…” Lance thought for a moment. “Do you maybe want to come back to my place?”

Keith was shocked. “What? Seriously?”

“Yeah, mama has always said that I can bring friends over whenever.” Said Lance. “Everyone always comes in and out of the house like clockwork. I think my papa questioned how many kids he had at a few points. Having you there wouldn’t be any different.”

He was quick to call Lance out on his bullshit. “Lance, I’m a fucking purple cat. Your parents aren’t going to like me as much as you think...”

Lance shrugged. “My mama is really nice. So’s papa. They’ll be happy to have you around.”

“... Are you sure?” Asked Keith quietly. He hadn’t been to anyone’s house before and he didn’t know if it would be okay. He didn’t get along well with others and he was sure that Lance knew that.

But Lance just smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah. I just need to let her know in advance so she can get a place ready for you.”

“Oh… um… Okay.” Said Keith quietly. “I um… I wouldn’t mind going with you…” Honestly he knew he would mind. He hated meeting new people. He hated the stares. He hated it. He hated it all… But Lance looked happy and kind of excited for him to go and see his family. Lance was such a weird guy. If things got too much for him he could hopefully hide in a room or like, the crawlspace under the house if there was a crawlspace.

As soon as he said that, Lance grinned and took a photo of him. It made Keith jump a little. “Perfect. I’ll send a message to mama and let her know you’re coming over.”

“... Okay.” Keith quickie made himself a little more comfortable in blankets and closed his eyes. “I’m going to nap now… So like, keep it down… Please.”

“Sure thing buddy.” Said Hunk. Lance was relatively quiet, but moved to his desk to do his homework or something.

Keith was just trying to sort out his own thoughts. He already felt like he had made a bad choice, but it wasn’t like he was going to back off and take back what he said. He was way too stubborn for that. How dare Lance corner him like that? Now he had to fill out a form and Adam will see it, and Shiro will know, and then Keith will get interrogated. 

This was going to be a hassle for him. Shiro was probably going to lose his shit and do a background search of Lance’s immediate family… or he’d sweet talk Adam into do it… or ask Coran or Allura to do it. Yeah, this was not good.


	144. Slim shake (Modern fantasy AU XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotor might have fucked up... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

A dark smoke billowed out of Lotor’s kitchen as he stirred a dark, viscous liquid on his small stove. He added shavings of mandrakes, bat wings, and lizard eyes. Soon, very soon it would be complete. He very carefully waved his hands over the pot and started to mutter out a spell while wearing his ridiculously tight, supposedly magical, leather fetish gear.

There was suddenly a puff of white smoke that billowed out of the pot and Lotor chuckled darkly. “Finally… It’s complete… Now to test it out… On that flabby elf… HA HA HA!!!”

The next day Lotor happily headed over to Lance’s place with a bag in hand. Naturally the door was open again because Keith didn’t bother locking the door behind him when he left, or he was just lazy and didn’t give a damn about locking it while he was lazing around inside.

“Sorry to intrude!” He called. “I brought you something nice! … Hello? Keith?” Lotor looked around for Keith but was surprised to see that there was no one there at all. He huffed in annoyance and put the bag down on the table. “Guess I’ll go for a walk and come back later…” He muttered. Lotor left the bag on the table and headed out to walk around the block.

***

A few minutes after Lotor left, Lance came home from his walk. “Hey Keith! I’m home!” He called. He looked around the house and was surprised to see that Keith wasn’t home. “... Seriously? He left the door unlocked again?”

He sighed heavily and went to watch some TV. He saw the bag on the coffee table and opened it. Inside was some kind of soft drink that had an odd purple metallic shine. The label looked like it was written in some kind of Asian language that Lance couldn’t read at all.

Lance shook his head. “Really Keith? You bought some random soft drink? Again? … I wonder what flavour this is? Probably grape or berry?” He thought for a moment. When was the last time he’d had a soft drink? Keith probably wouldn’t mind if he had a little taste.

***

“Damn it Lotor you piece of shit dark elf!” Snapped Keith. “Curse you and your stupid giant ass!”

Lotor just rolled his eyes. So what? He just happened to see Keith at a vending machine and gave him a light nudge to make him hit the wrong button on the vending machine. Now he had a bag of peanuts instead of the soda he wanted.

“You ruin everything.”

“Are you really that upset over a bag of nuts?”

“Yes I am!” Snapped Keith.

“Well I guess I can spot you a drink.”

“Good. Give me three bucks.”

“Not right now you’ll have to wait.” Said Lotor. “You’ll get your drink soon.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“I had some business with Lance, so I decided to pay him a visit.” Said Lotor calmly. “Showing up empty-handed would be rude, so I bought him a drink. Unfortunately no one was home so I left the drink there and decided to kill time by walking around. I just happened to run into you and decided to mess with you.”

“You’re a dick, you know that right?”

Lotor rolled his eyes and started to walk back to Lance’s place. “You have mentioned it a few times. Now, if you would like to follow me you can have the drink.”

“... Is it carbonated?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

As they walked back, Lotor couldn’t help but smirk as how easily he was able to get Keith to eat right out of the palm of his hand, or rather drink right out of it. Normally Keith would reject anything Lotor would give him, but the butter ball elf was too thirsty to care. Now it was time for him to test out his weight loss elixir to see if it would work. If something went wrong he should be able to fix it easily.

However when they got back home… Lotor didn’t think he was going to fix it. He didn’t think Lance would drink it.

“HOLY SHIT!” Cried Keith. “LANCE! WHAT THE FUCK?! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!”

“K-keef?” Muttered Lance quietly in a tiny squeaky voice. “W-what’s going on?”

Keith picked up Lance and stared at him. The poor human had shrunken down to the size of a toddler. In fact, he did have the body of a toddler. Lance looked down at himself, his shirt now looking like a dress on him. He cried out in shock. 

“M-MY BODY?! W-WHAT HAPPENED?!”

Lotor stood back and slowly sighed. His weight loss elixir, was a complete failure. Lance certainly did lose weight, but not in the way he had in mind. He didn’t know if he could restore Lance to his normal body, but he should probably do this without telling Keith that he was the cause of this. Keith would probably try and beat his ass if he found out the truth.

Keith sat Lance down on the couch and frowned. “Shrinking aside, do you remember anything else weird happening to you?”

“I-I don’t think so…”

“Well, I don’t think you’re in danger, so that’s a relief.” Said Keith.

“B-but why did my body shrink Keef?” Asked Lance. He sounded so distressed.

“Well, I think I know who’s behind this.” Said Keith confidently.

“What? Who?”

Lotor froze in shock. Keith had figured out it was him so quickly? Of course he would figure it out. The drink he had made was still on the coffee table. He told Keith he was going to give him a drink when they got to Lance’s place. He had to think of a way out of this quickly before that hippo of an elf decided to body slam him into the afterlife.

“That damn satyr!” Growled Keith. “That damn bitch probably did this to you for more revenge. She’s so immature!”

“Keef? W-will I stay like this forever?”

“Heck no. We’ll figure something out Lance.” Said Keith. “You just gotta keep calm and we’ll think of a plan together.”

While they were talking Lotor was eyeing the drink on the table. He wasn’t exposed, but he needed to grab the bottle to make an antidote. While Keith was comforting Lance and talking about getting revenge on Nyma, he went to grab it. Nyma was going to have to be his scapegoat for the moment. He was about to grab the bottle when he heard Keith loudly clearing his throat.

“Hey! Fat ass!”

“What?!”

Keith was cuddling Lance close to his chest. Lance’s face was completely bright red as he was pressed up against Keith’s very soft chest. “We don’t have any kid’s clothes here. We need to buy some. Help me buy some.”

“... Fine.” He would have to retrieve the bottle later.

“K-Keef?” Said Lance quietly.

Keith looked down at him. “Hmm? What up shortie?”

“I-I’m sorry for being a burden to you…”

“What are you talking about?” Asked Keith as he walked to the door. “After all you’ve done for me? This is nothing.”

After half an hour of clothes shopping the trio made it back to Lance’s place. They bought Lance a bright blue shirt, overalls with a shark stitched on the front pocket and little yellow socks. He looked absolutely adorable.

“O-okay. What do we do now?” Asked Lance. “What can we do to fix this Keef?”

“Simple.” Said Keith as he sat on the couch. “We catch the satyr. If she’s the one who did this, she should also know how to undo it. She came by to gloat last time she fucked with us, right? We just have to wait for her to come back and we can catch her. If that doesn’t work we will do our best to catch her.”

“R-right!”

Lotor frowned a little and nervously chewed on the corner of his thumb. This might be starting to get out of her hand. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

“Oh! That’s Shiro!” Said Lance as he started to toddle towards the front door. “I promised him a cooking lesson today!”

“Oh? You did?” Asked Keith as he and Lotor followed him. Lotor was internally screaming as they got closer to the door. This was getting way, way out of hand.

As soon as the front door opened, Shiro saw Lance. The oni looked down at Lance in shock before he quickly scooped Lance up in his arms and hugged him tightly, almost crushing Lance with his man tits. “Aren’t you just the cutest little thing ever!”

“Don’t crush him you dumb ass!” Snapped Keith. He started to tug on Shiro’s arm. “Let him go thunder thighs!”

That just made Shiro squeeze Lance tighter. “What? No way! He’s my child!”

“How is that even possible?!” Snapped Keith. “You’re not Hispanic!”

“He takes after his mother!”

“You’re gay!”

“... She looked very, very manly when I finished several barrels of whisky!”

“Quit it! You’re scaring Lance!”

“No I’m not, I… Wait… Lance?” Shiro looked down at the toddler in his arms. “Lance?”

Lance smiled nervously up at him. “Um… H-hi Shiro…”

They went to the lounge room and Keith explained what was going on with Lance and the satyr. Shiro happily listened while he had Lance firmly seated in his lap. He didn’t seem to want to let Lance go.

“I see.” He said with a smile on his face. “So you think Nyma used her magic to shrink him down. Well, for now I don’t think there’s any problem here.”

“Of course you would say that!” Growled Keith. “Why couldn’t you just have indifference towards kids like a normal male oni? We’re going to capture Nyma and reverse her spell. Lance has done plenty to help us, so you need to return the favour too Shiro.”

“Aww… Fine…”

While they were talking Lotor was still eyeing the bottle on the table. No matter how complex the situation got, he still needed to get the bottle back. It was his fault that he wanted it hidden from them, but he could return Lance to normal if he could just run some experiments on it. But how the hell was he going to distract everyone?

“Um, Sh-Shiro?” Squeaked Lance.

“Call me Papa.”

“I’d rather not… A-anyway, you came here for cooking lessons, but I don’t think I’m capable of giving them in this tiny body...” 

“Oh…”

Suddenly Lotor had an idea. This was perfect. “Hey Keith, how about you help Lance with his lesson?”

“What?”

“If Nyma doesn’t show up we’ll be waiting here for nothing.” Said Lotor. “Might as well spend that time wisely.”

“... Oh, good point.”

So the group ended up putting on aprons. Including Lotor. Which he didn’t expect. “Wait… why am I doing this?”

“Why not?” Asked Keith. “Got something more important to do?”

“...No.”

Lance was sitting on a stool as he tried to roll his sleeves up, but was having a hard time. Shiro happily crouched down and helped him. “Let me help you out there Lance.”

“Oh thank you Shiro.” Said Lance happily. “I don’t think I’ve got the hang of this body yet. Thank you so much.”

Shiro couldn’t help but clutch at his chest. “My son…”

“Stop saying weird shit!” Snapped Keith. “What are we making today?”

“Oh, meat and potato stew.” Said Lance.

Keith’s eyes lit up. “We’re cooking potatoes?!”

Lance nodded. “Homestyle cooking is really good and comforting. It’s comforting to try and recreate the flavours of your mama’s cooking, or in my case, my papa’s cooking.”

“Your dad did the cooking?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah… Mama can cook rice and make sweets, but… Well my papa was the chef in the house.” Said Lance. “So I guess instead of cooking like mama used to make I guess this is cooking like papa used to make?”

“Papa-style cooking is perfect for me!” Said Shiro. He looked pumped up for this.

“I-I suppose…” Said Lance quietly.

Lotor just stood in the background and waited for the moment to grab the bottle and run. He could do this. He just needed to wait for the perfect opportunity. Those two would be too distracted with Lance and cooking.

Lance pushed a little step ladder up to the bench and smiled. “Okay! First we gotta make sure we have all the ingredients!”

Shiro picked up a bottle and frowned. “What’s mirin?”

“A rice wine used for cooking.”

“Booze?!” Shiro was way more excited to cook now.

“It’s used to brighten up the flavour and body of a heavy dish.” Said Lance. “Please don’t drink it… It’s not for drinking… Anyway, we gotta wash, peel, and chop the vegetables.”

“I got the potatoes!” Said Keith and he quickly grabbed them.

Lance smiled and looked up at Shiro. “For this meal, we’ll be using a low-fat cut of beef; round steak. Compared to something like brisket, it has fewer calories. Brisket has 371 calories per 100 grams while round steak has 165 calories for the same amount of meat. Typically, this recipe has you fry the meat in oil first, but we’ll skip that step to keep it low-calorie.”

“Of course sweetie.” Said Shiro as he peeled a carrot.

Once Lotor was convinced they were distracted, he started to sneak back towards the lounge room. He stepped on a loose floorboard and it creaked ever so slightly. In a flash, Shiro and Keith were upon him. Shiro inches away from punching his face in and Keith seconds away from stabbing him in the neck.

“Oh, it’s just you.” Said Keith as he lowered his weapon. “Don’t go sneaking around like that.”

“I thought you were Nyma.” Said Shiro.

“Y-you scared me!” Whimpered Lance.

Lotor sighed and crossed his arms. “I was only walking around. Don’t make such a big deal out of nothing.”

“Shut up and stop slacking off.” Muttered Keith as he went back to cooking.

Lotor grimaced as he walked back over to where everyone was cooking. He forgot that these two practically had eyes in the back of their head. He couldn’t carelessly move around behind their backs. He had to think of another plan quickly. Cooking would help him clear his head while he thought of a new plan. Before Lotor knew it, he was the soul person cooking while everyone else stood back and watched him go… He was so focused on cooking he forgot to think of a plan.

“Good work Lotor!” Said Lance. “We’ll let it reduce on a boil for about 20 minutes and then we’ll call it finished!”

“Uhh, okay…”

“20 minutes huh?” Asked Keith. “I hate waiting for food. Fries take less time to cook.”

“How about you play with me while we wait?” Cooed Shiro.

Lance laughed nervously. “I-I appreciate the offer, but let me introduce you to some exercises instead!” 

He showed them how to do single leg kick backs. 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps for each leg. He got them to place their hands on either the counter top or wall, but any sturdy flat surface would do. Without using their hands to give them a boost, they kicked their leg up backwards. Keeping it straight, toes pointed out, and keeping the upper body still throughout the motion.

“This works the glutes and muscles in the rear thigh.” Said Lance. “It can reduce swelling in your legs and even give your butt a shape-up! Doing it together with calf exercises will make it even more effective.”

Lotor did a few of them and quickly worked up a sweat from doing those exercises right by the stove. “Phew… I’ve worked up quite a sweat already…”

“Want a drink?” Asked Keith.

“That would be nice, thank you.”

Keith held out the bottle of elixir. “Here. This was just sitting there in the living room.”

Lotor froze. He couldn’t drink that. If he did then he could become a toddler and have to deal with Shiro, like Lance was dealing with. But if he didn’t drink it, then everyone would know he knows that this was the cause and that he caused this whole mess. Lotor panicked. He shook it up and let it go off in Keith’s eyes.

“DARK ELF BASTARD!!!”

***

After a few minutes of Keith beating up Lotor, Keith washing the elixir out of his face, and beating Lotor up again, everyone had calmed down enough to actually hear Lotor out properly. Lance wanted to actually sit on the couch to do this, but Shiro wouldn’t let him. He was going to cuddle Lance as much as possible.

“So…” Said Keith in a dark voice. “This was all caused by a failed weight loss drug? You fucking stupid, evil, dark elf! Why did you do that?!”

“I-I didn’t mean to harm anyone with it…” Muttered Lotor. 

“Keef! Don’t be mean to Lotor…” Said Lance quietly.

Keith rolled his eyes. “Ugh… Even though you’re the victim in all this…”

“Lotor, why did you make a weight loss drug?” Asked Lance. “Why would you even need such a thing? You’re such a diligent person… I have a hunch that you didn’t make it for yourself…”

Lotor sighed and stared down at the ground. “I… I made it for you Lance… After all the help that you have given us, I only wanted to make it a little easier… Instead I messed everything up…”

Lance seemed surprised for a moment, but he couldn’t help but smile at him. “Lotor, I appreciate you trying to make my life easier, but no matter how easy it would make my job, I don’t want to rely on something like that. I like what I do for a living. Seeing people realise they can change their lives by their own power and not through some wonder drug makes me very happy. I really-”

There was a loud ripping noise as Lance suddenly became an adult again, and completely ripped out of his baby clothes. Lance was back to normal, and naked on Shiro’s lap.

“...”

“...”

“...”

Keith sighed and walked to the bedroom. “I’m gonna go and get you some pants.” After that Lotor decided to give up making medicine.


	145. Pop (Monster AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I am ready for your pitchforks. Come at me! I am ready! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It took nearly two days, but Keith eventually encased himself in a pupa. It was… It was interesting to say the least. Lance had stayed there by him the whole time. Lance didn’t really know how to feel about this. What on earth was even happening to him? What would he look like when he came out of it?

Lance put his hand on the pupa. It was warm and pulsing slightly under his hand. It was… It was unsettling, but it was okay. As long as he could feel a heartbeat inside that hard purple and red shell then it was okay. Everything was going to be okay. How long was it going to take before Keith emerged? Would he look human? Would he look more like an insect? He didn’t know. But whatever Keith turned into, when he emerged, he would still love him.

“There isn’t anything you can do.” Said Shiro. “Keith is going to stay like this for a while.”

“How long?”

“A few days? Maybe a week? Either way you can’t stay here. There are too many spores and dust here to stay here.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You aren’t going to be fine.” Said Shiro in a firm, but kind tone. “What are you even going to eat down here or drink?”

“I’m fine.” He muttered. “There’s enough to eat here.” Lance gestured around to the fungus and the insects.

“Yeah… Are you sure you should be eating this?” Asked Shiro as he flicked a bug off of Lance’s shoulder.

“I’m fine Shiro. You can just go.” Said Lance calmly. “I want to stay here with Keith… I want to be here when Keith emerges.”

“... At least tell me you’re leaving the cave to find water.”

“... I’ll do that from now on.” He muttered. 

Shiro made a noise that didn’t sound very impressed with Lance’s choices. “Take care of yourself. Please? Keith is not going to be happy if you’re not taking care of yourself. Also I think some of the bugs are eating your legs…”

Lance looked down and brushed them away. They were eating him, but insects had small stomachs. They didn’t bother him much, but it probably wasn’t a good idea to let them eat him. “Fine… I’ll get some fresh air…”

He walked with Shiro out of the caves and out back onto the surface. Lance didn’t like it. It felt too fresh to him. He also felt uneasy being away from Keith. He knew he was pretty much okay. There was no one else on the island apart from them. He hoped that the insects wouldn’t become interested in his pupa and try to eat it.

When they were outside of the building Shiro let out a long sigh. “I’m going back to town.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Look, I’m tired, hungry, and thirsty.” Said Shiro. “It’s almost been a week, but there is seriously not any food on the island… Unless you want to keep eating apples… Also, I miss my boyfriend. He’s pissed I haven’t showed up, and Sendak is probably going to kill me when I go to work.”

“What will you do?”

“I can make up something.” Said Shiro. “You two… Are you two going to be okay here by yourselves?”

Lance nodded. “I think we can manage. No matter what happens Keith and I will be okay if we are together.”

“Yeah… Are you going to go home at some point?”

“I… I don’t have a home to go back to anymore.” Said Lance sadly. “My mama sold me out for this experiment… I don’t know how involved my papa was in all of this, but my mama probably made up something, or lied to the police about me going missing… I don’t know… Either way I’m not even human anymore.”

“Lance, of course you’re human.”

“Shiro, I’m not.” Said Lance. “I heal so fast I can get ripped open and I’ll be fine in a few minutes. I produce venom. I’m not… What they did to me… I’m not human anymore. I’m something else.”

“... I’m sorry Lance.”

“It’s okay.” Said Lance quietly. “I don’t mind. It’s not like I’m alone or anything. I still have Keith.”

“Yeah. You do… I’ll try and come back soon to see how everything is going.”

“Okay. Goodbye Shiro.” 

The older man nodded and started to walk down the path back towards where they left the boat. Once Shiro was out of sight Lance returned to the cave. Back to Keith. It hadn’t changed at all since he had left. He sighed and gently pressed his hand against the pupa. Still warm. Still beating. Hopefully this wouldn’t take too long. Lance wanted to see him again.

***

Krolia wasn’t having a good time. She had managed to talk to Shiro when he was alone and away from the others. He confirmed her worst fears, Keith had come back to become an adult. He had pupate. He was going to become an adult and that was extremely troublesome. She wanted to put a bullet in his head the second he emerged, but Lance was there.

She had told Shiro that she could just incapacitate him, but Shiro warned her that Lance was venomous now. If he bit her, then she might die. If she died on this island then she was going to take him with her. She decided the best way to do this was to attack Keith while he was in his pupa. She had a hunting knife and her gun. She had also scrounged around for supplies long before the others had gotten to the island.

Her plan was simple; she’d use the gunpowder in her bullets to make a small explosive, crack open Keith’s pupa with her knife, shove the explosive inside and set it off. If that didn’t work she could crack the rest of the pupa open and let him die from exposure. Without his protective shell he would die.

She just needed Lance to not be there anymore. She needed him away for a few minutes. Just long enough for her to get down there and get to him. He needs to leave. Krolia just needed a few minutes alone to end the madness.

***

When Shiro got back to town he immediately went to see Adam at the station. Adam hugged him tightly when they met up. Adam was kind of mad at them for being away for so long, but he was glad he was back.

“Are you sure you’re not going to do some more overnight work?” Asked Adam.

Shiro smiled and nodded. “Hopefully not for a while… I’m kind of hungry. Want to get a coffee and something to eat?”

Adam looked over at the clock. “... Go to the cafe down the street and get us a table. I’ll be down in five. Okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro quickly kissed him and headed down to the cafe.

When he got them a table he couldn’t help but let out a long sigh. Keith was… He had pupated. He was turning into something else. Would he even look human anymore? What the fuck could Keith even be called? Hell, what the fuck were he and Lance? Neither of them were humans anymore. 

Was leaving them on the island all for the best? Krolia was still there and she wanted to kill Keith outright. He could understand her fear. There had been several times when Shiro had talked to Keith and he said or did things that made him think it might be best if Keith was dead… But the fact that Keith wasn’t human made Shiro give pause. Keith had always just been an animal running on his instincts. If what he did naturally out of his own need to survive was morally wrong, then wasn’t it their fault?

The facility made Keith for stupid, selfish reasons. They always saw Keith as a tool. He wasn’t alive to them. He was just a thing that existed with no real thoughts or feelings, and that was wrong. Keith had his own thoughts and feelings. He wasn’t some heartless monster. He just wanted to be left alone to live his own life… And he cared extremely deeply for Lance, though like most of Keith’s actions, Shiro couldn’t tell if it was of his own free will or because of his animal instincts telling him he needed to find a mate of some kind.

Suddenly his phone rang. Shiro cautiously checked to see who had messaged him, and when he saw the ID, his body filled with dread. This was the last person he wanted to hear from.

**Sendak**   
_As a thanks for all your efforts in making Project Pupa possible, you can have one month paid leave affective immediately._

**Shiro**   
_What are you talking about?_

**Sendak**   
_It was easy enough to track your location through your phone._   
_Sure it was annoying as fuck and took a few days , but hey, you know. These things happen._   
_Anyway, long story short, we are pretty damn sure you only went to the island because the experiments wanted to go there._   
_We’re going to do a sweep of the island_   
_Enjoy your leave_

Shrios stared down at his phone in shock. “Oh shit…”

***

Lance continued to stay by Keith no matter what. He didn’t care if the insects crawled over him and continued to try and eat him. He would be fine. He gently put his hand against Keith’s pupa. It still felt warm. It was comforting. He hummed softly and wiped a little bit of cave dust off of it.

“You doing okay in there Keith?” He asked calmly. “Can you even hear me? … I hope you can hear me… I miss you. It’s lonely now. Shiro needed to go back to town. I don’t think he packed anything he could really survive on… It’s okay though.”

He looked around the cave and frowned. Maybe he should think about bringing a blanket down for himself? Sometimes wind would whistle through the cave and that wasn’t nice. He stood up and shook off a few of the creepy crawlies that decided to crawl all over him. He leaned down and gently kissed the pupa.

“Be back in a few minutes. Okay? Don’t hatch until I come back.” He smiled fondly at the pupa for a few seconds before he left the caves. He’d check the linen cupboards. He stepped out of the main building and squinted a little. It was bright out. What was the time? He didn’t know.

Time and everything seemed irrelevant on the island. Everything was irrelevant apart from Keith. All that Lance wanted was for Keith to be okay. They could take care of each other here. He didn’t care if that just meant they would find a quiet, warm, dry place deep in the cave where Keith would just eat him. It should have been a terrifying thought, but Lance was okay with it. He kind of liked it in a strange way… Maybe he did have a vore fetish?

He sighed and shook his head as he looked through the linen cupboards. Keith hadn’t tried to eat him during sex and the thought of Keith eating him didn’t make him hard. It was hard to explain. It grounded him in a way… And the thought of Keith not eating him gave him goosebumps and gave him anxiety.

Lance blamed his weird DNA on these things. Did the weird stuff they injected him with make him want to get eaten alive? That was really fucked up. But he couldn’t help it. That’s what he was. He wasn’t human anymore. He had to go by instinct. That’s all he had to go by now, but that was okay. Neither he nor Keith knew what they were, but as long as they had each other they could figure it out together.

He eventually found a thin blanket. It was good enough. Lance held it and happily walked out of the door. He immediately saw some people walking a few feet away, and Sendak. He was still alive, though missing an arm. This was bad. If they found him… If they found Keith… Maybe he could distract them? Take them on?

Suddenly a shot rang out and Lance felt something striking his arm. He quickly looked down and saw that he had a bullet hole in his arm. They shot him. They fucking shot him. Lance dropped the blanket and bolted. His heart was hammering in his chest like a drum.

Lance didn’t get far until he got tackled by someone. He attempted to bite them and use his newly acquired venom, but they came prepared this time and they muzzled him. Some awful plastic and metal thing that locked on completely to his head. He tried to pull it off, but it was stuck.

Sendak chuckled and walked over to him. “Nice to see you again, you little shit. Now, how did you get here? Where is K-P1?”

Lance said nothing as he was pulled to his feet. He couldn’t tell them where Keith was. If they knew where Keith was, then who knows what they would do to him? What if they cracked open his pupa and it killed him? They would take him away. Take him back to that place. Keith couldn’t go back there. He just couldn’t. He needed to think of a plan. He really needed one.

Sendak didn’t seem to like this at all. He growled at him and looked like he was ready to punch him. “I won’t ask you again. Where the fuck is he?”

***

When Lance left the cave Krolia seized her chance to slip inside. She took a flashlight and a filter mask from the locker and quickly headed down. It didn’t take her too long to find the small opening where Keith had hidden away. She saw his pupa and felt disgusted when she saw it.

She didn’t know what would be in there or if Keith would even be alive in there. It upset her greatly to see Keith like this. He was so defenslis… It was upsetting to her in a way. She felt bad about what she was about to do, but it needed to be done. Keith’s existence wasn’t natural. It needed to be taken care of.

“I… I’m so sorry Keith.” She muttered as she took out her knife. “Whatever you are now… I’m sorry. You should have never been born.” Krolia walked over to the pupa and ran her hand over it trying to find a seam in it. She dug the knife in and lightly twisted it. The pupa cracked open. It sounded like bones crunching. It sounded awful but it broke through.

She very carefully leavered off a small chunk. Thick slime came off it and she tossed it away. Within a matter of seconds the insects seemed to swarm it and eat the slime. Perfect. If she blew up the pupa then the insects would quickly swarm and eat everything inside. She hoped that Keith wouldn’t be alive after she finished this. She wanted Keith dead, but didn’t want him to suffer. Needless killing was distasteful to her.

Krolia peered inside the pupa and was disgusted to see something that looked like a mass of writhing, squirming, bloody red and purple muscles. She could see things that looked like teeth and bones. She was pretty sure she could see a deformed eye too.

She gulped and carefully took out her handmade explosive. She had found a small test tube and had put the explosive inside. She just needed something to keep the gunpowder dry. She carefully pushed it in and went to light the fuse. 

“... I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve to be born like this… Into this world…” She smiled sadly. “Maybe if something like you can be reborn I can be a good mother to you next time? … You deserved better.” She lit the fuse and quickly left that area.

She just left the area in time to avoid the explosion. It sounded like a loud pop followed by a loud splat. She looked back into the room. The top half of the pupa had been ripped apart and the soupy entrails were decorating everything. Keith was dead. Krolia felt like she should feel relieved, but she kind of felt hollow. She had lived with the fear of this thing for so long, but now… Keith didn’t even put up a fight or try to hurt her.

Krolia sighed and left the cave. If she’d stayed for a few minutes longer she would have noticed something disturbing happening to the bugs. The bugs that took interest in Keith’s flesh were quickly becoming trapped, ensnared and drawn into the flesh. It only increased the biomass that was quickly starting to rapidly expand. Thin flesh tendrils forced into small cracks and crevices in the cave walls as they stretched out more and more looking for more biomass to consume.

***

“H-he’s gone!” Lied Lance. “He just took me here and left. I… I don’t know where Keith went. H-he just…”

Sendak punched him and knocked him to the ground. He then looked at the people that came with him and gestured to Lance. “Pick him up. I bet the little fucker is in the cave.”

The underlings pulled Lance to his legs and marched him back to the main building. Lance had no idea what to do. He needed to think of a plan. He had to help Keith. He had to save him. He just didn’t know how. He shook his head a few times to try and get the mask off, but it clearly wasn’t working. He heard Sendak laugh.

“No fucking way you are going to get that off you little shit.” He said. “That muzzle was made for K-P1 when he got belligerent and didn’t want to follow orders. Only difference is you probably can’t feel the needles that are lined along the jaw. Must be fun being unable to feel pain.”

“... Why can’t you just leave us alone?” Asked Lance quietly as they entered the building. “We just both want to be left alone. We don’t want to hurt anyone. We-”

“K-P1 belongs to us and so do you.” Said Sendak in an annoyed tone. “If it were up to me you’d be getting fed to a meat grinder after you fucking bit me and made me lose my fucking arm!”

Lance flinched a little at his tone. If he ever got this muzzle off his face he was going to bite Sendak in the neck. He needed to get rid of these people before they hurt Keith. He couldn’t let them hurt Keith anymore. Keith needed him. He couldn’t protect himself at the moment. Lance needed to step up and do the same for him.

There was a loud crash from down the hallway and a slightly tipsy looking figure staggered into view. It sure as hell wasn’t Keith. They were female. Who the hell was this person. She staggered closer to them and Lance noticed that they had a gun in one hand and an almost empty bottle of something in her hand.

Sendak seemed to know who she was. “Seriously? You’re here too? And you’re an alcoholic? You really fucked your life up. Huh, Krolia?”

The woman, Krolia, shrugged and leaned against the wall taking another drink from her bottle. “Fuck off Sendak. Just leave me alone… I’m going to go and drown myself in a puddle.”

“Yeah, you go and do that.” Sendak looked between Krolia and Lance for a moment. “So… You seen K-P1 around here anywhere?”

“Hmm, the thing you bastards tricked me into giving birth to? Yeah, I found him. He’s in the caves.” She said.

Lance could feel himself panicking. She just told Sendak Keith was in the caves. How would she know? How did she know they were here? How long were they here for? He didn’t understand. He didn’t know what was going on. He just needed to try and figure out some way to save Keith.

“But there is no point in bringing him back.” Said Krolia. “Well, you can… But bringing back an actual human sized pupa might be hard…”

“He pupated?” Asked Sendak. He quickly became excited. “It actually lived long enough to pupate?”

“Yes, but you might want to get a spatula and a vacuum.” Said Krolia calmly. “I split open his pupa and put him out of his misery. I killed him.”

Lance gasped in shock. Krolia killed him? She killed Keith? How did she do it? When did she do it? Why did he leave him? Why did Lance leave the cave before Keith was finished pupating? Why did this have to happen? What did Krolia do to him? She had a gun, did she shoot him? How many shots did she unload into him? He probably suffered horribly. The thought of Keith being in pain, despite what Keith has done, Lance really did love him. He really loved him.

“The fuck do you mean you killed him?!” Snapped Sendak. “What the fuck happens if you try to kill a Pupa when it’s pupating in the first place?”

There was a loud groaning coming from deep within the building which caused everyone to take pause. One of the pipes for the sprinkler suddenly broke. The pipe fell and it seemed to be full of bloody looking worms. Well, Lance would have considered these things worms if some of them didn’t seem to have teeth, eyes and other fleshy parts attached to them. It was giving off the same smell that Keith did when he was hungry.

Sendak sighed dramatically. “I shouldn’t ask stupid questions…” There was a loud crack as the walls and floor started to give way and more of those worm-like tendrils sprung through the cracks and spread like a disease. “Fuck, fall back. I’d rather not talk about this when some man eating asshole is doing this.”

The group seemed to all be in agreement and quickly left the building as quickly as possible. However when they got out of the building the rest of the island didn’t seem much better. The weird worm flesh was quickly spilling out of the cave ventilation pipes in the ground. Some of the flesh had taken over trees completely, giving it the appearance of a tree made of flesh.

Next to Lance, Krolia started laughing. He was surprised to hear her doing so but when he looked at her, she looked completely broken. “Hee hee… I… I gave birth to a monster… Hee… I’ve brought hell upon everyone… Hee… Hee… Hee…” She couldn’t stop laughing.

“And now the bitch is broken!” Snarled Sendak.

The ground started to shift under their feet and quickly broke away, falling into a massive sinkhole. Lance let out a yelp as he fell into the hole. He hit the ground hard and slowly passed out. The last thing he saw before darkness completely over took him was a mass of that swarming flesh slowly moving towards him. It smelled sweet.


	146. Third attempt (HolyHell AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And more shenanigans happen, for I the god of this AU say so! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Sundays were the days most people choose to confess. Lance wondered if it was because they genuinely had something to confess or if they wanted to have a clean slate for the next week. He kind of wondered if he should consider doing an online course to get a basic understanding of psychology under his belt. It would really help when some people came to actually talk to him one on one.

So far today, he had heard a woman confess she was jealous at her neighbours garden, a man who wanted to divorce his wife but didn’t want to split assets, a man who was questioning his faith, some senior high school girls that confessed to cheating on some tests at school, and a little boy that was feeling guilty about breaking a toy his grandma bought him.

He also had some one on one sessions with a family… That were worried about their son being gay… and they wanted to send him to conversion therapy… Which was horrific in itself. Lance just had to try and not lose his shit at their parents and just had to ask him if they were admitting that God was wrong? And if that failed he told them he was sorry that the devil had poisoned their hearts. That usually shocked religious homophobes enough so they would back off for a week or two. Some people were just crazy.

On days like this Lance needed a drink. So after they left, Lance sneaked into the little store room in the back of his office. There was a fridge in there where Lance kept the grape juice for the A.A meetings and for doing communion… Also one bottle or actual red wine that he only drank from after dealing with the crazies.

He poured himself a glass and sat back down at his desk. “Lord give me strength…” He muttered as he quickly downed half a cup before topping it off. He just needed to do a bit of dusting and he said he would help one of the older ladies with her garden. Not too bad. He hoped that she didn’t have any daisies. He walked here today because he knew he was going to be drinking.

Another glass and a quick dusting later Lance was able to leave the church and question how or why people still thought being gay was unnatural. Considering there were frogs that lived in elephant shit, 50% of orangutans have fractured bones from falling out of trees, ostriches find humans more attractive than other ostriches, and most animals can be hypnotized. Being gay was the most normal and natural thing in the animal kingdom. Humans were so fucking stupid.

He walked to the bakery where Hunk was working to get some food, which Hunk was more than happy to give him, and since there was a bit of down time, they had some time to talk.

“How are things going?” Asked Hunk.

“Church is still going as strong as it can be in this town.” Said Lance. “I’m thinking of getting a building inspector to come out soon to see if it’s all up to code… I saw some cracks in the ceiling the other day and I need someone about it.”

Hunk hummed a little and nodded. “Yeah, that is pretty bad… I’ll ask around and see if anyone knows anyone that does that kind of stuff. If I find the right people they might be able to give you a bit of a discount, since you’re the church and all that… Maybe consider a bake sale?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking about that.” Said Lance. “We are making enough to keep the lights and water running, but if the roof suddenly springs a leak then we might be in trouble… It would be nice to have a few hundred stored away for repairs…” He clapped his hands. “Okay, I’ll talk to the town council about the idea and see if I need to get some permits and stuff signed.”

“Awesome. Let me know if it comes through. I’ll happily whip up a few sheet cakes and some pastries for you too.”

Lance was touched. “Aw, Hunk, you’re the best… Could you make some shortbread?”

“Of course… Oh, by the way, mind taking this off my hands?” Asked Hunk. He quickly walked back to the fridge and came back out with a cake box. He opened it and inside was an apple pie. “Lady canceled her order. Now I have an extra pie. Not a huge apple fan myself so… Take it? Please?”

“Yeah, sure.” Lance happily took the box and smiled. “I’ll go and see if Pidge and Matt want some. I haven’t seen them in a while.”

“Sounds like a plan. Tell them I said hi.”

“Will do big guy.” Lance happily took the pie and happily headed down to the bottle shop by the motel… the motel… that the bikers were staying at… the bikers that Keith happened to be a part of… Keith obviously had a thing for him or at least wanted to fuck him… And Krolia was either a little interested in him too or was fucking with his head. Either way that would be like, so bad. Firstly; he was a Pastor. Secondly; he assumed Krolia was married so adultery.

He shook his head and continued to walk to the motel. Lance was a little surprised to see a few of the bikers sweeping up some glass from smashed bottles. At least they were cleaning up, which was nice. Okay, they weren’t particularly good people, but they were nice people.

Lance walked into the bottle shop and saw Matt standing behind the counter. He smiled and grinned at him. “Hey Lance. Long time no see. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. How’s business?”

“Booming.” Said Matt. “Those bikers drink everything and pay in cash. Each one comes in at least three times a day to buy stuff. We are making bank.”

“Well at least they are good for the economy.” Mused Lance as he walked over. “So, Hunk gave me an apple pie, want some?”

“Oh hell yeah. One second.” He went into the back room and came out with Pidge.

“Heard you had pie you Catholic son of a bitch?” They asked.

“Damn right you sinful heathen.” Said Lance. “Straight from the baking angel, Hunk, himself.”

Pidge grinned. “Perfect.” They quickly grabbed the box and headed into the back room and vanished.

“... I just lost the pie, didn’t I?” Asked Matt.

“I think you did.”

“... Well shit.” Matt pouted a little before he sighed dramatically. “Anyway, want to buy something, or were you just dropping off the pie?”

“I’m just going to brows for a bit.” Said Lance as he gestured to the fridges.

“By all means… I’m going to make sure Pidge doesn’t eat the whole pie.” He ducked into the back room and left Lance alone.

Lance hummed and happily looked through the fridges. He enjoyed a bit of alcohol every other night. Lance looked between the cider and beer. He wasn’t sure which one he wanted more. Maybe he’d get both?

“Hey Lance.”

Lance quickly spun around to see Shiro. The man was smiling at him with a bottle of bourbon in one hand. He seemed pretty chill, if not a little tired looking.

The Pastor let out a sigh of relief. “Man, you scared the life out of me for a second there… How are you Shiro?”

“Not bad. Krolia’s back so things have been… Interesting.” Said Shiro with a slight laugh. “She’s Keith’s mother. She’s kind of interesting.”

“Yeah… Keith kind of called her a whore…”

“Well she is one so not that big of an insult.” Said Shiro. “Yeah, we don’t have the same standards that most people have when it comes to things like that. We’re all about giving people second chances. Lots of us have done some bad stuff in the past and well… If I’m honest, Krolia’s practically a saint compared to some of the shit everyone else has done.”

“... Alright.” Lance did not need a reason to fear the Mamora bike gang anymore than he already did.

The man chuckled and looked at the fridge. “What are you planning to get? Beer or cider?”

“Not sure.”

“Then get both?” Suggested Shiro. “Indulge yourself a little.”

“Ah, I do attempt to live relatively modestly...”

Shiro chuckled. “Just get both. If you don’t tell I won’t tell.”

“Ah, well I guess you talked me into it.” Lance reached in to grab the alcohol he wanted.

“So, serious question. Do you like Keith?”

Lance froze up. “Like, as a person? He’s um… He’s okay. A little rough around the edges but he… Um… He isn’t my type.”

“Oh?”

“Y-yeah… I um… I’m straight…” He lied. “I’m not attracted to men so…”

Shiro raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “Right… Still, Keith really likes you. He’s been infatuated with you… He wants you to at least like him a little. Keith does come off very strong, but he has a good heart and well… He does like you…”

Lance frowned a little. When he thought about it, he could still feel Keith’s arms and hands running over his body. It made him shudder. “Yeah… I can kind of tell… He um… He’s very handsy…”

“Yeah, he kind of is… Keith isn’t very good with words. I swear he’s going to end up with a felony if he touches the wrong person.” Said Shiro.

“I’d hope so…” Muttered Lance. “I’d hate to see Keith taken away for something like that…”

“I’d hate to see Keith getting put in the slammer again.” Said Shiro. “Last time… Yeah, that wasn’t fun for anyone… But Keith is still a really, really nice guy. Not like one of those fake nice guys, but like, a nice guy.”

“Right…”

Matt came out of the back room with a little bit of apple pie on his face. “Back! Hey Shiro. Being nice to the Pastor here?”

“Of course.” Said Shiro. “I’d never lay a hand on a man of god.” He gestured for Lance to go to the counter. “You first.”

“Thanks.” Lance quickly walked forward and paid for his drinks. “See you guys later.” He quickly left the shop and headed back home. He felt like someone’s eyes were on him. He glanced over at the motel and saw someone sitting up there. It was a bit too far away for him to tell who it was, but he knew it was Keith. They waved at him and Lance waved back.

***

Keith felt his heart skip a beat when Lance waved back at him. He saw him and he waved at him. He made an inhuman, high pitched noise and quickly hid behind his hands. Lance waved at him. He looked at him and waved. That was so cute. Lance was so cute. 

If only Lance was that cute when they were face to face… He wanted to hug and kiss him and well… Do a bunch of other things that would make the Pastor blush… Keith shook his head. He wanted Lance really badly, but he had some weird divine protection on him so he couldn’t use his usual tactics to encourage Lance to slip into his bed.

He still didn’t know how to seduce Lance. Humans were strange things that changed their minds about what they wanted as often as the wind changed. He needed Lance to want him just as much as he wanted the Pastor. Maybe he should try sneaking into his dreams again and try to seduce him again? It would give him a headache, but he would do it again.

“Stop imagining and just do it.” Said Krolia.

Keith glared at her. “Leave me alone. I’ll get him eventually…”

“At this rate? I doubt it.”

He huffed and looked away from him. “Shut up. I’m not. I’m going to make him mine… I just have to go slowly. Slow… Slow is good. Okay?”

“Not really. Slow is slow.” Said Krolia. “If you want to go slow then do it after you fuck. He isn’t your bride until you two have consummate it with the exchange of sexual bodily fluids. Just leaving that little scar on his finger does not make him your bride. It’s simply a promise.”

“He is still my bride.” Muttered Keith. “I want him… and I want him to admit that he wants me…”

She grinned and sat next to him. “Oh? So you want him to be completely infatuated with you? Unable to take his eyes off you? Want him to lust after you? Want every subconscious thought to revolve around you?”

“... Yes.”

“How are your pheromone glands going?” Asked Krolia. “Still under developed?”

“Yes…”

She shook her head and let her tail slip out. Her tail was similar to Keith’s but was much more purple and the tip of her tail looked much more like a heart. A thin stinger slipped out of the tip and she happily held her tail over Keith’s head. 

“Come on. Open your mouth. You need a few drops.” She said.

Keith rolled his eyes and opened his mouth. He watched as a tiny bead of venom built up on the tip of her stinger before it became too heavy, and the drop fell into his mouth. It tasted like boot polish and made him gag a little. Succubus venom, when given to other succubi, can help enhance their own natural physical traits. In other words, taking a drop of pure succubus venom would let Keith use his succubus powers to their full extent for a short period of time.

Krolia chuckled when he cringed and patted his back. “You good now?”

“Yeah, I think I’m good.”

“Alright. Now go and get your man.” Said Krolia. “No man can resist the sexual pheromones of a succubus! You’ll have him eating your ass before sunset!”

Keith rolled his eyes and stood up. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be back soon.”

“With your bride?”

“With my bride.”

***

Lance couldn’t stop sneezing. Mrs Smith had daisies. So many daisies. Lance was allergic to daisies. He had a few antihistamines on himself just in case something like this happened, but he was still stuffed up to the point he couldn’t smell or taste anything. It sucked. He was going to be like this well into tomorrow morning.

But Mrs Smith was in her late 70’s and was nice enough to put his alcohol in her fridge while he worked. She also gave him some lemonade. Which was really nice of her. She didn’t have to. He was just happy to help out someone in need.

She went back inside to watch her soaps while Lance pulled up some weeds and just neatened things up for her. Though Lance did have snot running down his face by the end of it all and his eyes were getting a little red and puffy. He had a scrunched up tissue in his pocket, quickly wiped his eyes and blew his nose hard. It didn’t clear his sinuses at all but snot wasn’t running down his chin anymore.

Suddenly Keith popped up by him. “You’re not an easy man to find Pastor.” Said Keith.

Lance jumped a little. “Oh, hey there Keith. What’s up?”

“Oh nothing. Just wondering what you’re doing.”

Keith shrugged. “Oh, you know… Just… coming by to see you. Thought you would be at home…”

Lance shrugged and dusted his hands off. “Well I’m just helping out someone that asked for help. Mrs Smith’s kids live in the city a few hours away. So I don’t mind helping her out.”

“Right… So do you want to do something with me today?”

“Um…” Lance was reluctant to go anywhere with Keith after the last time they were alone.

“If you’re worried because about last time I won’t do anything. I promise.” Said Keith. “Hands to myself. Won’t touch anything. I promise.” He seemed to almost purr that last part.

It made Lance feel a little uneasy, but then again, he didn’t feel that off. Keith looked like he was attempting to seduce him. Which was kind of amusing to him in a way. Keith was still obviously trying to get into his pants. Once again he was going to have to turn Keith down.

“You can promise as much as you like, but you tried to molest me.” Said Lance coldly. “Do you really think I can trust you to be anywhere with me? Let alone be with me alone?”

“... I stopped my mum from jumping you the other day.” He muttered. “That has to count for something.”

“Yeah, your mother is interesting.” Muttered Lance. “Is she… Um… Does your father…?”

“Know that my mother is a whore and sleeps around with men and women alike? Yeah. They have an open marriage.” Said Keith.

“Oh…”

He shrugged. “I know you probably think it’s immoral or something but Krolia apparently has an extremely high libido. My dad would rather have her satisfy herself rather than break his pelvis or give him a heart attack.”

“... Right.” That was way more than he needed to know about Krolia’s sex life.

“Yeah, anyway, I’d still really like to hang out with you some more… Please?” Asked Keith quietly. He gently reached over the fence and held Lance’s hand. His skin was surprisingly soft and warm. “Lance, I… I know I don’t deserve it… But please? Give me a second chance?”

Lance knew he shouldn’t, but Keith still didn’t seem like a bad person. Well, in this situation he would turn the other cheek. “Okay. Fine…”

Keith grinned. “Thanks Lance. Let’s go now.”

“What? No.”

“... No?” Keith looked extremely confused.

“I have things I still have to do.” Said Lance calmly. “I know you might be into spontaneity and all that, but I still have things I need to do. Later tonight, okay? We can watch some TV or just drink on the porch. Okay?”

Keith still looked stunned. “O-okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tonight. Goodbye Keith.”

“Bye Lance…” Keith awkwardly walked off, giving Lance a few confused glances before he rounded the corner.

When he was gone Lance took out his tissue again and blew his nose. Hopefully by tonight he would be able to actually breathe out his nose. Allergies sucked.

***

When Keith got back to the motel he walked into the first room he saw and threw himself onto the bed. He let out a frustrated scream into one of the pillows. As he let out his frustrations Ulaz looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Something wrong? Why do you smell like pheromones?”

Keith looked up at him and glared. “I tried to seduce Lance.”

“Ah, I take it that it didn’t go well?”

“I’m convinced that Lance is protected by God at this point.” Growled Keith. “I was turning heads when I was walking back here! Lance didn’t even flinch! I was so close to him! I touched his hand! There is no way a normal human would be able to pull themselves away from me! The second he smelled my pheromones he should have been begging to get into my pants!”

“... That is kind of concerning.” Muttered Ulaz. “You’d usually expect someone much higher up in their religious circle to be more immune to the attacks of a succubus… Maybe, now this is just a theory, but perhaps Lance is the holiest person in town?”

“So what if he is?”

“If he is, then that means that Lance is the most morally pure according to his religious doctrine.” Said Ulaz. “That would mean he has the strongest belief and faith out of everyone in town, and therefore, Lance is the holiest person in town. Since he is the holiest that means he, as long as he is the highest person of religious authority in town, has the same level of holy immunity as the Pope.”

“... So Lance is the Pope?” Asked Keith in shock.

“Until his boss visits town, then yes.” Said Ulaz calmly. “You’re going to have to ditch demon manipulation and try actually trying to woo him with no cheap tricks.”

“...” Keith buried his face into a pillow and screamed some more. Why did Lance have to make things so difficult just by being his sexy, pure, holy self?


	147. Slime (Monsters and manna AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's an M&M champagne without some slime? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“Quick! I need dexterity throws from all of you!” Said Coran. Everyone quickly rolled their die and called out their numbers. The group had ventured into an old womblax temple. But they had cleared it up with the elders. It was an old temple that no one really knew what it was used for anyway. So they were allowed to explore it. Needless to say they activated a trap.

“17!” Said Allura.

“16!” Said Pidge.

“10!” Said Lance.

“13!” Said Hunk.

“Nat 20!” Said Keith.

“... Nat 1…” Muttered Shiro.

Everyone gave Shiro a sympathetic look. If there was one thing that every Monster’s and Manna player feared, it was the nat 1’s. They were the make or break points of every game. Where as a nat 20 meant glorious victory, a nat 1 meant stupendous disaster.

Coran let out a long, slow sigh. “Oh quiznack… Well, this is going to be interesting…” He cleared his throat and went back into Game Master mode. “Alright, the door slams shut behind you…”

***

The huge stone doors suddenly slammed shut behind them. The group jumped in shock. “I thought you checked for traps?” Asked Block.

Pike frowned and looked at the door. “I did… I think? I mean, there wasn’t anything that looked like a trap…?”

“Well, we are boned.” Said Meklavar. “So, what kind of creepy shit do you think is going to happen here anyway?”

“Why are you asking me?” Asked Pike. “You think I know?”

Thundar raised an eyebrow. “You came from here?”

“The city. Not the outskirts.” Muttered Pike.

Valayun sighed and looked around the room. “Well, no point in making accusations or anything like that. We need to figure a way out of this…”

Everyone started to look around the room. No one noticed something drip onto the floor. A thin, slightly viscous liquid was slowly falling from the ceiling. It was sticky and was a dark shade of blue.

_Drip..._

_Drip… Drip..._

The liquid quickly collected. It pulled together into a small ball and got bigger and bigger with every drip. Each one added to the slowly growing mass.

_Drip..._

“Well, I have no way out…” Muttered Meklavar. “Anyone got anything?”

Everyone shook their heads. “Sorry.” Said Block. “The place looks like it’s sealed tight.

“There has to be some way out.” Said Valayun. She looked around and ran her hand over some hieroglyph-like writings. “... Pike, can you read this?”

Pike cracked his knuckles and walked over to her. “I’ll have a crack at it… let’s see…” He hummed a little as he looked over it. He squinted, tilted his head, and his ears twitched. “Okay… So by the look of it, this is a sacrificial chamber where the enemies of the womblax are sacrificed to the demi-god; The Devourer.”

“And what is the Devourer?” Asked Shiro.

Pike shrugged. “Not a clue. That’s an old demi-god. We don’t worship them anymore. Also their image seems to be damaged on his picture, so no idea what it looks like.” 

_Drip… Drip… Drip..._

Meklavar sighed and crossed her arms. “Perfect… We’re stuck in- LOOK OUT!”

The group jumped back as a massive shape fell from the ceiling and landed on the ground with a massive thud. The walls shook, and a few stones even shook loose slightly. The Devourer was a massive blue slime. Everyone seemed to have avoided getting trapped in it when it fell down… Everyone, but Shiro.

Shiro got caught up in the slime. He was already buried up to his neck and getting pulled deeper into the monster’s body.

“Shiro!” Called Thundar as he quickly fired off an arrow into the gelatinous body of the creature. It did nothing.

“Blue slimes are immune to physical attacks!” Said Block. He quickly cast fireball at the slime. It seemed to damage it a little. As he did that, Valayun shot several enchanted arrows at the slime. The combination seemed to make the slime recoil slightly.

While that happened, Meklavar, Pike, and Thundar went about attempting to free Shiro. It was hard as they had to keep dodging the slime’s attacks. Meklavar got close enough to swing her great axe down and slice through the slime, freeing Shiro.

He quickly got up and brushed some of the slime off himself. “Gross… Thanks guys.”

“No problem. You have any spells on you?” Asked Thundar.

“Um… Not anything that might be useful against this things…”

Valayun quickly dived out of the way of a slime attack. “I’m all out of arrows!” She called.

“I’m almost out of spells!” Called Block.

Thundar groaned and started to pull out his enchanted arrows. “Damn it… We should have prepared some more before he came in here…” He quickly fired a few electric arrows at the slime. The slime charred and squealed as it quickly shrunk a significant amount.

Watching that gave Pike an idea. While Thundar was distracted shooting arrows, Pike snuck up behind him and pickpocketed him. He grabbed some bones, a few arrow heads, and the stone that the elemental wolf, Bolt was in.

Pike didn’t like it at all, but they were all going to die if he didn’t do something. He held the stone tightly in his hand and threw it as hard as he could at the slime. Seeing his pet getting thrown into danger, Thundar yelled out in shock. 

The sound of his voice seemed to activate Bolt, and the elemental wolf materialized inside the slime. Finding themselves inside a slime really pissed off the wolf, and with a mighty crack, Bolt set off a huge jolt of electricity. The slime withered, cracked, and exploded. The womblax demi-god, the Devourer, was dead.

Bolt happily ran over to Thundar and knocked him over, happily licking his face. Thundar laughed and ran his fingers through his wolf’s fur. “Good boy! You’re such a good boy!” Bolt and Meklavar quickly came over and started to give Bolt all the love too. Bolt was getting all kinds of praise from the trio.

Valayun smiled and nudged Pike’s arm. “Good idea. How did you know it would work?”

“Bit of dumb luck?” Said Pike.

Shiro grinned and patted his back. “Either way, you did an amazing job. Good job Pike.”

Suddenly there was a loud click and the doors opened. In the chamber beyond this one was a large treasure chest filled with gold. Everyone cheered and went to inspect the treasure.

***

“... And that is where we will end today’s session.” Said Coran. “That was really smart. Good puzzle solving there Lance.”

Hunk nodded in agreement. “Yeah man. I keep forgetting that blue slimes are weak against lightning.”

“At least you didn’t kill Keith’s dog.” Said Pidge.

Lance rolled his eyes as he slung his arm over Keith’s shoulder. “If I got Bolt killed then I think we all know I’d never get laid again.”

Pidge cringed. “Ew.”

Shiro shook his head and clapped his hands. “Alright guys, I think we should all think about heading to bed. We have early training tomorrow. Everyone needs to be up bright and early for that.”

The Paladin’s groaned, but Allura seemed to be in agreement with Shiro. “He’s right. Come on everyone. Time for bed.”

The Paladin’s reluctantly got up and wandered off to their rooms. Keith went into his room and got ready for bed. After a few minutes of laying on his bed, he decided that this was a little too lonely, so he got up to see his boyfriend. He would probably only be halfway through his beauty routine by now anyway.

He knocked on the door and a few ticks later Lance opened the door. He already had that weird face mask thing on. This time it was a green gel. He smiled a little at him. “Hey there Keith. What up?”

“Wanted to see you.” Said Keith quietly. He quickly leaned up and kissed Lance on the lips. “Can I stay with you?”

“Sure, but you’re gonna have to be the big spoon tonight.” Warned Lance. “Don’t want to get this face gunk in your hair.”

“You say it like I wasn’t going to do that in the first place.”

Lance rolled his eyes and got into his bed. “You just gonna stand there or are you gonna come over here samurai?” Keith chuckled and followed his boyfriend.


	148. Kiss kiss (Royal AU XIX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is pushing Yurak's boundaries again, and everyone else is kind of wondering if Lance is dead yet. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Things had gotten slightly better between himself and Yurak after their little talk. Well, at least that’s what Lance thought. Communication is key in any relationship. At least that’s what his mama used to tell him. So he was going to do what he could to do more communicating with Yurak. They had started to fall into a routine; they would wake up and Yurak would scent him, they would eat breakfast, spend time together, head off to do their own thing for a while, and then they would get together and talk about their day.

It was nice. Lance was enjoying his time with Yurak, though he did think things were going kind of slow. Then again Yurak probably thought that things were moving kind of fast. The Galra did seem to get a little uncomfortable when Lance got a little too physical with him.

Though Lance wanted to try and break through the awkward hand holding, and light hand touching. Today, Lance was gonna kiss him. However, there was one thing Lance did not count on...

“What’s kissing?” Asked Yurak. Kissing wasn’t part of Galra culture.

“Oh come on, you know what kissing is.” Said Lance. “Lotor and Allura kissed at their wedding. You saw it. They pressed their lips together. Kissing.” He didn’t think he would have to explain what kissing was over dinner to an adult.

“They didn’t kiss.”

“What?”

“They didn’t kiss.” Said Yurak. “Galra have two smaller scent glands here and here.” He pointed to two spots on either side of the corner of his mouth. “That’s how mates scent each other. And how parents scent their newborn kits. It’s a much more loving and familial way of doing so rather than rubbing your wrist on someone..”

“... How many more scent glands do you have?!”

“Just the ones on my wrist and the ones on my face.” Said Yurak. “So… What is kissing?”

“It’s where you press your lips together against someone else’s lips.” Said Lance. “You do that with people you like romantically, like mates and what not… And when in private there’s a lot more movement and you know, you can slip your tongue into the other’s mouth and stuff.”

Yurak looked slightly grossed out to hear that. “That sounds like an easy way to transmit germs.”

Lance shrugged. “It’s still nice… Is kissing too intimate for you?”

“... Just let me think about it for a bit.” Said Yurak quietly. 

That probably meant that Yurak didn’t want to do it. Kind of disappointing, but it wasn’t like Lance was going to push Yurak into it. He had no idea how he was going to change Yurak’s mind or if he even could. Lance picked at his food a little bit more before he was done eating and retired to Yurak’s room.

It was nice sleeping next to Yurak. He was so soft and fluffy. It was nice to just nuzzle into his chest fur. Yurak seemed to like it too because Lance could hear him pur. It was so cute. He wanted to nuzzle that fur some more… Kind of half hoped that little bit of nuzzling would lead to a little something more with Yurak, but it never did.

A little while later Yurak came in and crawled into bed next to him. Lance hummed a little and continued to look through his datapad. He just looked through it and read through a child’s guide to speak Galra.

“... Lance?”

“Hmm?”

Yurak moved a little closer to him and gently nudged him. “Lance… Can you look at me?”

Lance put his datapad down and looked at Yurak. “Yeah?”

“...” Yurak quickly leaned forward and pressed his lips against Lance’s. It wasn’t much of a kiss, but considering how Lance described it, it was pretty close. When Yurak pulled back he buried his face into his pillow and mumbled to himself for a few ticks while his ears were pressed firmly against his head.

Lance chuckled and smiled at him. “Did you just kiss me?”

“... Maybe…” Muttered Yurak. “I didn’t kiss you right, did I?”

“Hmm, kind of. Want me to give you a little lesson? Help you improve your kissing techniques” Asked Lance. “You can do that thing where you scent me with the scent glands on your mouth?”

“But that’s so-”

“Intimate? Yeah, I know.” Lance hummed and ran his fingers through Yurak’s hair. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to… Kiss on the cheek?”

“What?”

“This.” Lance leaned over and kissed Yurak on the cheek. He felt Yurak’s fur puff up a little under his lips. He was pretty sure this was some kind of Galra way of blushing. It was adorable. “There. Kiss on the cheek.”

“...” Yurak quickly turned his head and quickly kissed his cheek back.

Lance smiled. “Does that make you feel a little better? Still intimate but a little less intimate?”

Yurak nodded. “Yeah. Good compromise…” He quickly kissed Lance’s cheek again and smiled slightly. “We don’t do this kind of stuff here.”

“I can tell.” Lance smiled and cuddled him and sighed against his chest. He was very soft and there was something comforting about getting held in his arms. He liked it a lot. He felt safe. Lance sighed contently and felt Yurak starting to nuzzle the top of his head. It made him smile and he drifted off to sleep.

***

Allura was relieved that most Galra seemed to treat her with respect and rather fairly. Lotor had told her that Galra might not take to her since she was Altean, and the war… But thankfully no one seemed to be angry at her or dislike her in the slightest. No one seemed to expect too much from her, which both royals thought was a good thing. At least for the moment.

They would let most of them just think that Allura is nothing more than some pretty thing from another planet. A symbol of peace and what not. They didn’t think she was anything more than a pretty decoration. A flower. An ornament. An object. They were going to be one hell of a shock when Lotor announced that they were going to rule equally. It was just important to get the majority of Galra on her side first.

At the moment they were at some Lord’s house. Lord Eurgwar’s manor home. Not that it really mattered. Allura was just very tired from constantly moving. She had retired to her bedchamber with Romelle. The two Altean women were having a good time just relaxing.

“May I speak my mind, my queen?” Asked Romelle.

“Of course.” Said Allura. “And when we are alone you may address me as just Allura. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”

Romelle shrugged and made herself comfortable on the bed. “Well that’s the first time you’ve told me to do so off world. Anyway, you think Lance is dead yet?”

“And why would he be dead?”

“You think Lance can resist being a little shit?”

“... Fair point… But no one has mentioned that Lance has been murdered, so…”

“Still time to fuck up before we leave.” Warned Romelle. “Do you think he will start another war by doing something stupid?”

“He can’t be doing any worse than us.” Allura sighed and looked for her nightclothes. “Would you mind helping me with this corset?”

“Of course.” Romelle stood up and helped unlace the restricting undergarment. “So… Now that you’re queen of the Galra, are you going to stop wearing this?”

Allura sighed in relief when she could breathe properly again. “By the gods, yes. The only word I have heard about anything close to a corset was those back brace things that the… I want to say Baroness?” 

“The Baronesse of Karatara?”

“Yes. Exactly.” Allura put her hands on her hips and quickly stretched. Her back cracked and popped several times, making both women cringe. “And that was in reference to medical treatment for her son.”

“From what I have seen, the Galra appreciates practicality and functionality over aesthetic and design.” Said Romelle. She carefully hung Allura’s dress up on a hanger and went to get her brush. “Do you want me to do your hair?”

“Yes please. But you get changed into your nightwear first.”

Romelle nodded and as she changed, Allura took a seat in front of the vanity. She glanced over at her datapad and wondered if she should message Lance to at least ask how he was going. She knew that dealing with Galra could be rather difficult. She and Lotor had their own set of problems during their first night together. Hell, they didn’t even consummate their marriage on the night of their wedding. Then again, the two of them were too drunk and tired to actually do anything past groping each other a little before they passed out from exhaustion.

And even then when they did get around to actually consummating the marriage, it was mostly just awkwardly touching and trying to figure out how to do things so neither of them would get hurt. Either way the two of them were still rather sore the next day and still had a long way to go when it came to make sex more pleasureable for both of them. Allura was 90% sure they needed more foreplay, and 10% sure they needed more lube. She could only imagine the trouble Lance and Yurak might be going through at the moment.

Romelle walked up behind her and happily started to remove Allura’s braids and brushed her snow white hair. “I don’t know how you keep your hair so perfect…”

Allura chuckled. “Mostly barconar oil.”

“... So that’s the secret.”

“Only if you have wavy, curly hair like mine.” She warned. “Your hair is a lot straighter than mine. You will need something else.”

“Eh, true… Speaking of hair, should we try doing your hair in a more… traditional Galra style?” Asked Romelle. “I saw some of the women wearing their hair in braids?”

Allura thought about it for a moment. “Investigate that matter tomorrow. I’ll talk to some of the servants here and see if they can give me some pointers.”

“Sounds good to me.”

The door to the bedchambers opened up and Lotor walked in. He smiled softly at the women and shrugged off his jacket. “Lord Eurgwar seems to have nothing better to do then complain that taxes have been capped. If he keeps this up I might have to request that my father relinquish him of his title and lands.”

“So that’s why you were gone for so long.” Said Allura. “Well, we are just getting ready for bed… Also wondering if Lance is still alive.”

Lotor shrugged and started to undress. “Well I haven’t gotten any frantic texts from Yurak begging me to cover up Lance’s murder, so he is fine at the moment.”

Romelle rolled her eyes and put Allura’s hair in a loose braid for the night. “You say that now, but when we go and visit the Duke, he’s probably going to have Lance locked up in a dungeon or something.”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Said Lotor calmly. “Yurak does not have a dungeon… Though I do think he technically has, or at least had a torture room...”

“... Lovely.” Romelle put the brush down and yawned. “Well, I’m off to bed. Let me know if you two need anything… Maybe we could all sleep in tomorrow?”

“We shall see.” Said Allura. “Goodnight Romelle.”

“Goodnight Allura.” Said Romelle. She did a little curtsy towards her before she did the same to Lotor. “Goodnight Lotor. I shall see you both in the morning.”

Once she left, Allura got into bed and Lotor continued to get changed. “Romelle is a strange one… Still pleasant, but kind of odd.”

“Yes, but she is my friend… How long until we pay Duke Yurak a visit? I want to see how Lance is fairing.”

“Close to a phoeb if everything runs on schedule.” Said Lotor as he changed into his night clothes and slipped into bed next to her. “If things are running ahead of schedule that half a phoeb.”

Allura sighed and cuddled up to her husband’s side. “The sooner the better. I miss him. Lance might be a fool, but he is one of my closest friends. I would hate to see something bad happening to him…”

“Do you not trust Yurak?” Questioned Lotor.

“No, I trust your cousin.” Reassured Allura. “I just don’t trust Lance not to do something stupid…”

“Fair enough… But I believe everything will be fine.” He held her close and brushed a loose strand from her face. “Lets talk of this later my love. It’s time to sleep.” Allura hummed in agreement and the two of them fell asleep peacefully in each other’s arms.


	149. Siren (Modern Fantasy AU XXI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are so many stories about mermaids and what their powers are and are not... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

In this world, a lack of exercise, stress, and a tidal wave of calories has spread to non humans too. Lance was working tirelessly to change that for his ever growing client list of humanoids from the other world. However, Lance was taking a little time to relax as Plaxum, a mermaid and his latest client, had sent Lance an invitation to come and hang out with her.

So Lance sent Krolia and Keith out to do a light jog. He told Keith and Krolia where he was going to be if they wanted to meet up after they were done with their jog. He went to the address Plaxum had sent him. Much to his surprise he met Hunk and Romelle at the place he was going to meet her at. Apparently Hunk knew Plaxum because he had been eating more seafood lately and Romelle because Plaxum once fished up her skull when she attempted to swim. Romelle forgot that as a skeleton, even with magic to give her body form and mostly opaque skin, she still couldn’t swim.

The trio entered the building and were surprised to see it was a karaoke bar. Plaxum was already there and seemed super excited to see them all. “Hey guys! Glad you could make it!” She happily hugged them and led them to the room she had booked.

“It’s been a while since I’ve one this.” Said Hunk.

“Really?” Asked Plaxum. “I come here all the time. You know, Keith was welcome to come too…”

Lance shrugged. “Yeah, but I still don’t think he’s really forgiven you about that fish eggs thing… Plus he was actually motivated to go for a run with Krolia. It’s rare to see them motivated to exercise, so I thought it was best to just let them be.”

“Well that’s nice. Who is Krolia?” Asked the mermaid.

“Keith’s mum.” Said Hunk. “She kind of looks like an older, female version of Keith.”

“Neat. Well, elves are said to take on more femainine qualities, so I’m not surprised.”

“By the way,” said Romelle. “What is karaoke?”

Plaxum grinned. “Karaoke is something people do for fun in this world.” She pointed to a TV. “This machine plays different melodies that you sing along to. It plays music from all over the world. I’ve already gone through; country, pop, R&B, jazz, rap, and punk.”

Romelle nodded along. “Huh, I see… Singing sounds right up your alley.”

Lance frowned slightly. “Huh?”

Hunk smiled and lightly nudged Lance’s side. “Yeah. Plaxum’s from a race of singers. Some call their singing voice the wonder of the sea. They have to sing to communicate. It’s a necessary survival skill.”

Plaxum nodded and picked up the microphone. “Yep. Mermaids and singing go together like fish and water.” She held the microphone out to Romelle. “Here. Give this a go. You sing into this. Just hold it up to your mouth and say; Test, test. Just to see if it’s working.”

“Oh, okay…” Romelle took the microphone from Plaxum and spoke into the microphone. “TESTING!” there was a lot of reverb and everyone covered their ears. Romelle almost dropped the microphone in shock. She didn’t expect it to be so loud. “Oh my goddess! That was so loud! Maybe someone else should go first… How about you Lance?”

She passed the microphone to Lance. “Oh really? You guys want me to sing?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun.” Said Hunk.

“Um… Okay.” Lance looked through the songs and went to one that he actually knew. He went and found Hips Don’t Lie by Shikira. As he was doing this, Plaxum pulled some maracas out from under the coffee table and handed one to Hunk and Romelle. He started to sing and the group had fun singing along and shaking the maracas along with the beat.

When the song was done, Hunk happily clapped. “Wow, you’re really good at singing.”

“Aw, thanks man.” He held the microphone over to Plaxum. “You want to go next?”

“Nah, I might be a fish, but I’ll deliver the swan song for tonight.”

“Oh, then could I go next?” Asked Hunk. “I know a few songs from this world.”

“Hey, what’s that? Asked Romelle as she pointed at the screen. At the bottom corner of the screen was a small box of a stick figure that read; 11 calories burned.

Plaxum grinned. “Oh, it counts how many calories you burned while singing. I don’t know how accurate it is, but it is nice to help you feel like you’re doing something. Burning fat while doing something fun is the best.”

Lance nodded in agreement. “That’s right. Karaoke is a fantastic form of aerobic exercise if you dance a little while you do it. On average, singing burns around 10 calories. So if you watch what you eat and drink during a night of going to a karaoke bar, you can have a serious workout. For example, a person weighing 50kg (110.2 pounds) walking at a rate of 4.8km (2.9 miles) per hour will burn up to 184 calories an hour. In other words, roughly 18 songs at karaoke burns roughly about the same amount of calories as one hour of walking.”

“Huh, didn’t think I’d get a math’s lesson while doing karaoke…” Said Plaxum.

Hunk hummed a little and started to go through the songs. “Um… Oh, I know this one!” Hunk did a soulful rendition of Lady Gaga’s Telephone. The screen proclaimed that Hunk had burned 14 calories.

“Nice one buddy!” Said Lance and he patted his back.

Hunk blushed a little and smiled. “Aw, thanks man. Your turn Romelle.”

Romelle smiled and looked down at the iPad to see the songs that were there. “Um… There’s way too many songs on here. I have no idea which to pick…”

“Want to borrow my phone?” Asked Lance. “You can listen to the actual songs while choosing.”

“Oh! You’re a lifesaver!” Romelle took a few minutes listening to different songs with Hunk and Plaxum throwing in their own input. 

“Oh that one’s really fun.” Said Plaxum.

“That song’s really light hearted, as long as you don’t look into the lyrics…” Said Hunk. “I think it’s about a school shooter…”

“That one’s about having fun at the beach.”

Lance smiled and sat back as he watched them having fun, though he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. He was having fun with friends while Keith and Krolia were out working their butts off. He needed to try and do something nice for them later… Especially Keith. That elf had been trying his hardest to lose weight, and although he did complain a lot, he always ended up doing the exercises.

“I found one!” Said Romelle. “I want to sing this one!” Romelle had decided she wanted to sing Blood on my Hands by The Used. Now she just had to figure out how to actually play the song.

While she was doing that, Plaxum sat next to Lance and held his phone. “Can I use this for a bit too?” She asked. “I was to look for a song too.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Go ahead.”

“Thanks Lance. You’re the best.” Plaxum happily looked through the songs while quietly humming to herself. 

As she did, Lance couldn’t help but focus in on it. It sounded so calm and crystal clear. It was beautiful. He looked at her and the world seemed to slow down as he gazed at her beauty. She smiled sweetly at him and giggled, which made her breasts bounce in the cream shell bikini she was wearing… Wait… Since when was Plaxum wearing a bikini? Wasn’t she just wearing a shirt? Also, her breasts weren’t nearly that big that they would jiggle with a slight laugh.

“Which song do you think I should pick? Got any requests? I can sing just about anything.”

Lance paused for a moment in shock. This had to be some kind of weird affect. Some weird magic trick of the lights or something? Maybe that 5 hour energy stuff she had been drinking to keel her human form was wearing off? But if it was wearing off she would look like a mermaid, right? Fish tail and all that? She wouldn’t look like a hot woman in a bikini made from shells. Lance picked up his drink and took a sip.

“Um, you okay there?” Asked Plaxum as she leaned in closer. 

Lance looked back at her and nearly choked on his drink. She was back to normal. “W-WHAT?!”

“What’s happening?” Asked Hunk.

“Is Lance choking on his drink?” Asked Romelle.

“I-I’m fine…” Said Lance. “I um… I think a bit of ice went down my throat…”

Hunk sighed in relief. “Oh, good thing it wasn’t anything serious.”

“I sometimes get drink stuck between my bones.” Said Romelle.

Once things were settled again, Plaxum handed Lance back his phone. “Glad you’re okay. By the way I picked out my song.” 

“Ah, okay. Sorry for causing a racket.”

“Don’t sweat it. These things happen.” Plaxum happily selected her song and got ready to sing. As soon as she opened her mouth her body seemed to transform into a much more curvy and voluptuous woman.

Lance just stared in shock as he tried to make sense of it all. She looked fine until she started singing, but when she started she changed again. Something strange was definitely going on. Did Romelle and Hunk not notice the change? Does it happen so often in the other world that it doesn’t get a reaction out of them anymore? He had to ask Plaxum once she was done singing… But she was so beautiful...

Why was Lance even having a problem with this? It’s only Plaxum’s appearance that suddenly changed. Everyone else was acting normal, so he should act normal… Nothing was wrong here… Everything was fine… Perfectly normal… Everything was fine...

“Wow, you’re really good.” Said Hunk. “Are there any songs you like singing the most?”

“I like love songs.” Said Plaxum. “Love songs are the best. I love that lovey dovey stuff… Would you mind if I sing another one?”

“Go ahead.” Said Romelle. “You have an amazing voice.

Plaxum smiled and started to sing another song. As she did so, Lance couldn’t help but feel his heart starting to race. He was mesmerised by her voice and her beauty. She had a light blush on her face and her eyes were beautiful. Every part of her was beautiful. He couldn’t imagine leaving her for any reason.

When she finished her song, Hunk and Romelle were clapping. “That was beautiful.” Said Hunk. “It really tugged at my heart strings.”

“That was beautiful.” Said Romelle. “The lyrics were fantastic too!”

“Aw, thanks you guys.”

Lance stood up and walked towards her. “Plaxum…” He pinned her against the wall and gently tilted her head up to face him. “Plaxum… You’re so beautiful…”

***

While all this was going on, Keith and Krolia had gone for a walk around the park. They may or may not have stopped off somewhere to get an ice cream and some fries, but that was neither here nor there. Keith had a nice enough time.

Krolia caught him up on her quest to find warm ice cream. It wasn’t the easiest thing, and she hadn’t been successful, but it was an interesting experience. The closest thing she had found was deep fried ice cream. Though it wasn’t very warm.

About halfway through their walk they ended meeting up with Pidge. Pidge herself was going on a jog. They were more than happy to walk with them. Pidge and Krolia talked about Bae-bae and were more than happy to talk about all things dog related.

Keith checked his watch and nodded. “Hey, maybe we should head over towards that place Lance is at?”

The two agreed and the trio headed over to the karaoke place. They had no idea which room Lance was in or if he was even there anymore. Keith went to message him, but Pidge had a more direct approach and started to sniff around to find him instead. She suddenly picked up his scent and ran to a door. She grinned and pushed the door open.

“Here!” She called.

“Hey!” Snapped Keith as he ran over to her. “Don’t barge into random rooms like that!”

“But they are all here.” Said Pidge as she pointed into the room.

Keith paused as he took it all in. Lance had Plaxum pinned against the wall while Hunk and Romelle looked like they were trying to pull Lance away from her. “So… You were all doing karaoke together?” Asked Keith. “Wait, what are you doing?”

“Something’s wrong with Lance!” Cried Romelle. “He just shoved Plaxum up against the wall and is acting like a total creep!”

Keith frowned and pulled Lance away from the mermaid. “What the fuck are you doing?” When he was face to face with Lance, he understood what had happened. Lance’s eyes were glossed over with a purple haze. “Son of a… Plaxum! Did you sing in front of him? He’s completely entranced by your charm magic!”

“Oh… Right…”

“... You forgot about that didn’t you?” Keith shook his head and sighed loudly. “For fuck’s sake… Anyone here know how to dispel magic?”

Hunk shook his head. “S-sorry! I don’t know that stuff!”

“I can’t.” Said Pidge.

“I could when I was alive!” Said Romelle. “Not so much now…”

While this was happening, Krolia walked up behind Lance, cracked her knuckles and hit him hard in the back of the head, knocking him out cold.

“... Mum, you can’t solve all your problems by knocking them out.”

“Just watch me.”

***

Once Lance was conscious again and no longer under Plaxum’s charm she explained what had happened. Apparently a merfolk’s singing voice can cause hallucinations, confusion, and hypnosis. Since Lance has no magical resistance at all, it only affected him. 

“I’m really sorry…” Said Plaxum. “Until now I’ve just been doing karaoke by myself and I just wanted to have some fun with some friends… I was having so much fun it completely slipped my mind…”

“It’s okay. We forgot too.” Said Romelle. Hunk nodded in agreement.

“No, it’s my fault.” Said Lance. “I should have said something when I heard Plaxum hum before. It’s still my fault for pinning you against the wall like that.”

“How about you’re all to blame?” Asked Keith as he looked through the karaoke playlist.

“That sounds fair.” Said Lance.

Hunk smiled a little and held up the microphone. “Do you guys want to keep singing? It’ll be fun.” The group agreed to sing a few more songs. Plaxum was a lot more wary of her accidentally using her charm on Lance.


	150. Salesman (AtLA AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If all else fails Lance can have a very lucrative career as a merchant. Just give them the old razzle dazzle! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance had quickly proved himself to be an amazing sale’s man when it came to bringing people in. He would stand in front of Hunk’s stall and do a little bit of water bending to entice and lure people in. Since a lot of people hadn’t seen much waterbending up close and in action. Hunk had managed to sell a lot of things from the water tribe. For the moment the water tribe seemed to be in fashion.

When Lance needed to take a quick break he put his water back in his water skin and walked over to Hunk. “So, how is it going?”

“Really good. You’re a natural.” He said.

“Aw, I’m touched.” Lance stretched his arms and sat on a box by the stand. “Do you think we can go back to Ryner’s place today?”

“Well, she did say we can drop by anytime we want while we are here.” Said Hunk. “So yeah. If you want to. Just stay around for a few more hours and then you can go. The markets will pick up again in about two hours.”

“Can do.” Lance yawned and cracked his knuckles. Waterbending stuff was hard when you had to do it constantly. 

But at least now Lance could do a little bit of people watching. The people in the markets looked so strange to him. Well, at least their clothing did. He was fascinated by how thin their clothes were. He was so used to seeing everyone bundled up in thick coats most of the time. Though he did understand and appreciate the need for lighter clothes. Heck, Lance himself had packed away his coat and gloves as soon as they got to the Earthkingdom. It was already way too warm for him.

Someone in the crowd suddenly caught his eye. A man with blue arrows on his body. An airbender. Now that was one hell of a sight to see. One didn’t usually see any airbenders around. Most airbenders were scattered throughout the lands with very few returning to the air temples after the harmonic convergence. He wondered who this bender was. Apart from his tattoos the man had he also seemed to have an arm made out of wood. Which was odd...

The man walked through the thin crowd. He seemed to be talking to a man that looked like they were wearing much darker and richer reds. Possibly fire nation clothes? Travelers? Lance was immediately interested. He decided to see if he could get his attention by doing a little bit of waterbending.

So he quickly stood up and quickly started to bend some water. Nothing super fancy. Just a little water whip that he would quickly change into a water shield. It had the desired effect of catching the two men seemed to pause for a moment before the airbender approached him.

“Impressive bending.” He said.

Lance grinned and bent the water back into his waterskin. “Thanks. That’s honestly some of the more basic stuff.” He held his hand out to him. “I’m Lance.”

“Shiro.” Said the man. He held Lance’s hand in a firm grip. He gestured to the man with him. “This is Keith. He’s a firebender.” Keith looked over at Lance and nodded.

Lance nodded back. “That’s pretty cool. You two interested in having a look at some of the stuff we’re selling? Lots of stuff straight from the Northern Watertribe.”

Shiro looked over at Keith, and Keith just shrugged. He didn’t seem to care. Shiro seemed to take his indifference as approval. “Sure. Show us what you have.”

Lance happily led the two men over to Hunk. Hunk happily showed the two of them his watertribe wears. “So I have a few handmade winter coats. Perfect for anyone traveling to colder places. Triple layered and water proof. I also have some seal skins that can be used for making coats, vests, and blankets.” 

“We aren’t really that good when it comes to sowing…” Admitted Shiro.

“That’s fine.” Said Hunk. He happily showed them some whalebone carvings and some jewelry. “Now, I did try to just get some more generic stuff, since I’m not good at remembering all the specific cultural stories that go with everything.”

“Good thing I am here then.” Said Lance with a grin. He looked at the carvings. “Most of these are children’s toys. This guy here? A koalaotter. One of the cuter little guys. One of my neighbours used to have a few of them living in their little garden. Those ones are turtle seals. Also very popular up in the Northern Watertribe. These ones are Otter penguins. Those guys are native to the Southern Watertribe. Very cute. The Princess of the Northern Watertribe was gifted four otter penguins by the leader of the Southern Watertribe for her birthday.”

Shiro seemed impressed. Keith still seemed indifferent as he looked at the necklaces. Specifically he seemed to be interested in the betrothal necklace. He doubted that anyone else but the water tribes used such things, so he probably thought it was just a normal necklace.

“You interested in marrying someone?” He asked the firebender.

For the first time Keith seemed to show an emotion other than indifference. Too bad that emotion was pure shock and mortification. Though it was kind of cute. “Wh-what?!”

Lance gestured to the necklaces. “Those are betrothal necklaces. They are plain ones at the moment but what you’re meant to do is carve something meaningful and important into the stone. You then give it to the woman you love. In the old days you would have to get the materials to make the string and stone yourself, but these ones are just that little bit more convenient.”

Shiro chuckled and lightly nudged Keith. “Yeah Keith. Do you have some girl you want to propose to?”

Keith glared daggers at Shiro for a moment. A torch a few feet away from them suddenly erupted in flames, making several people jump in shock. On reflex, Lance quickly did a quick water whip and put the flame out.

Shiro quickly shot Keith a warning look before he looked back at Hunk. “So… Quick question, do you have any charms or something for keeping calm?”

Lance held up a bracelet with white and black beads. “Tui, La bracelet. If you meditate with it, it’s meant to bring you inner peace.”

“We’ll take one of those.”

“That’ll be one silver piece.” Said Hunk.

As Shiro looked through his money pouch for a piece of silver, Lance held the bracelet out to Keith who took it and reluctantly put it on. “So… What are you guys doing in Ba Sing Se?”

Keith shrugged and crossed his arms. “Just stuff… What’s a waterbender doing here?”

“Adventure mostly.” Said Lance. “So why are you doing here?” When Keith didn’t answer, Lance decided to make an educated guess. “Okay, let’s see… Airbenders are known for being pretty chill kind of guys, you seemed to unintentionally make the torch go crazy, and you want a Tui, La bracelet… You suck at firebending.”

Keith death glared at him. A few feet away another torch flickered wildly for a few moments before it calmed down. It just confirmed Lance’s suspicions. Seeing that confident smirk on Lance’s face. “Fuck you.” He spat.

Lance shrugged. “You’ll figure it out eventually. Took me a while to get waterbending down pat. You feel me?”

“Oh, you need help with bending stuff?” Asked Hunk.

Shiro nodded as he put his money pouch away. “Yeah, Keith has a bit of trouble controlling his bending. He’s a good firebender, but he has some trouble controlling it when he gets started.”

Hunk nodded. “Interesting… Hey, maybe Ryner could help you? She’s a scholar that’s specialized in bending. She might be able to help point you in the right direction.”

“That would actually be really nice.” Said Shiro. “Thank you.”

“Where are they?” Asked Keith.

“We’re going to see her tonight.” Said Lance.

“If you come back here in about… three hours? We can take you there.” Said Hunk.

Shiro nodded and patted Keith’s back. “Sounds good. We’ll go and have a look around for a bit and come back. See you guys then.”

“Later.” Said Hunk. “Come back anytime.” Once the two were far enough away he looked over at Lance. “Is that really what the bracelet is for or was that just to sell it?”

“Eh, kind of… Tui, La bracelets are more meant to balance out your energies not really give you inner peace, but you can find inner peace by finding balance.”

“Huh… Okay.”

***

Hunk was more than happy to introduce the two benders to Ryner. Ryner was very happy to meet a fire and air bender. She had a particular interest in Shiro’s prosthetic arm. It was made from a lightweight wood and had an arrow carved into it. She was impressed that it could move so freely and easily.

Shiro just laughed it off and explained that it was a kind of air manipulation. The arm was hollow but had holes in it to create small funnels of air that he could use to move his arm and fingers like a normal arm. However it made it very difficult to use other airbending techniques.

“But I’m extremely good at air punch because of it.” Said Shiro. “Since I always have air moving through this arm.”

“Remarkable…” Muttered Ryner in amazement. “Remarkable…” She continued to talk to Shiro about his arm, and Keith ended up sitting on a chair and looking around.

Pidge and Matt were there too, though they were mainly talking with Hunk and showing him some tricks that Rover knew. He seemed to know a lot of things, as long as he was given a tasty looking grub for it. If he didn’t get a grub he would screech and ignore them until he got food.

Lance was happily looking at some of the scrolls Ryner had on waterbending. Despite Lance being a waterbender from the Northern water tribe, he still hadn’t perfected using ice in bending yet. Best he could do was make a kind of watery snow slushy. It wasn’t very good. But this scroll was full of different techniques that he wanted to try. Lance really wanted to use breath of ice and ice bullets.

“... What are you looking at?” Asked Keith.

“Waterbending stuff.” Said Lance. He showed Keith the scroll. “I’m not that good at the ice stuff, even though most people can. Like, my cousin, Princess Allura is a damn pro. Normally women aren’t allowed to learn the fighting techniques of waterbending, and just learn how to heal using it. but there has been a little bit of a shift since well… Since Princess Yue became the moon…”

Keith gave him a baffled look. “Excuse me? What do you mean Princess Yue became the moon?”

Lance chuckled a little and looked back at the scroll. “When Princess Yue was born she was a very sickly child… She couldn’t be saved by our most skilled healers so they took her to the Spirit Oasis and the Moon Spirit, Tui, gifted her with part of its own life force… When the Avatar came to the Northern Watertribe to learn waterbending the fire nation attacked and in the chaos Tui was killed… Yue sacrificed her life to bring the moon spirit back… So Princess Yue became the moon to save all waterbenders.”

Keith looked even more confused than before. “Okay, spirits are a big deal and everything, but did she really need to die?”

“Unfortunately yes…” Said Lance as he put the scroll down. “Waterbenders get our bending abilities from the moon. We relearned how to bend from the moon… Our power even comes from the moon. We’re our strongest during a full moon, but if a lunar eclipse happened… When Tui died it forced a lunar eclipse. When that happens waterbenders can’t use their bending. If the moon spirit stayed dead then there would no longer be any waterbenders.”

“... Are you serious?” Asked Keith.

“Yep.”

“... I didn’t know waterbenders were so connected to the moon.”

Lance shrugged. “It is what it is… Anyway, Princess Allura is a damn fine waterbender. One of the best healers we know, but she can still beat your ass if she feels so inclined to… She’s just not allowed to do it in public because… well… Stupid sexist laws.”

“Right…” Keith still didn’t seem to be able to wrap his head around the fact that waterbenders were so connected to the moon. He seemed to have accidentally blown Keith’s mind. He would probably be thinking about this for a long time. Maybe he was wondering if firebenders could have learned how to firebend from the sun rather than from a dragon.

Ryner came over to them and smiled. “I see you’re looking at that waterbending scroll?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Still got some stuff I need to learn.”

“As do we all.” She looked over at Keith. “So, Shiro has informed me that you’re not very good at controlling your fire?”

“Yeah…”

She nodded and thought for a moment. “Well, I will start gathering any and all scrolls I have about firebending… But from what I remember from the top of my head, you need to have good control of your breathing.”

“I know.” Said Keith. “It’s one of the first things firebenders learn.”

“That’s good. I suggest you continue to practice it.” Said Ryner calmly. “Practicing breath control and breathing exercises will help your bending greatly.” They walked over towards a wall of scrolls and started to look through them. “This might take a while… I’d like you to come back tomorrow. I should have everything together by then.”

Matt heard her say that and frowned. “Does this mean we’re going to be up all night looking up firebender stuff all night?”

“Yes.” The siblings groaned in annoyance at the thought of doing this. Clearly not wanting to look through all the scrolls to look for anything.

“It’s okay.” Said Shiro. “If you like, Keith and I can help. We don’t mind. Anything to help with his firebending.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Um… Since when was it a good idea to put me anywhere near anything flammable?”

“... Good point.”

Ryner chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind doing some extra work, especially since I have my helpers here.”

Pidge pouted. “Why are you like this? We are guests… Dang it, I’m a Kyoshi warrior damn it!”

“A Kyoshi warrior in training.” Corrected Matt. Which just made Pidge pout.

Ryner smiled fondly at the siblings. “Anyway, you’re all welcome back anytime. Tomorrow when you come by I will have some tea prepared for us. It’ll be nice.” She looked over at Hunk and Lance. “You two are welcomed to come by too. Hunk, do you have any more rosemary?”

“Yeah?”

“I’d like to buy some from you. If you could bring some with you tomorrow?”

“Sure. No problem. Sounds good.”

Pidge nudged Lance’s side. “We can try and perfect filtering… And test it on Matt.”

“Hey? Why am I the test subject here? Why not Rover?”

Pidge gasped. “Rover? How dare you! I would never hurt Rover!” Rover made a weird chirping sound. “See? They agree with me.” The group continued to talk and make plans to go back to Ryner’s home the next day. Shiro and Keith thanked Ryner along with Hunk and Lance for turning them to her in the first place.


	151. K9 (Android AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets a dog, and Lance finally got his upgrades. Enough said. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith slowly blinked as he slowly came back online. He was back at the station at his personal charging station. Standing around him were Iverson, Shiro and Pidge. He quickly ran diagnostics and he felt Pidge pat his arm. “Alright. Looks like the hardware update worked out pretty well.” They looked back down at their datapad for a few seconds before they nodded. “Okay, can you detect anything? Mobility issues?”

“... I can’t detect any software or hardware issues.” Said Keith.

“Awesome. He’s all yours.” Said Pidge to Iverson and Shiro.

Iverson nodded. “So… he’s all solar powered now huh?”

“Partially.” Said Pidge. “He’s more like a hybrid than a fully solar powered android. We’re just doing hybrids at the moment. Expect your electricity bills to go down a fair bit. He’s still going to need to get charged up to supplement his solar battery. He’s also gonna need to be outside a fair bit.”

The man nodded and looked over at Shiro. “Take him outside for a bit. Make sure his solar generator is working.”

“Will do. Come on Keith.” 

The two of them left the building and Keith instantly felt warmth coursing through his body. It was a weird feeling, but everything was running smoothly. It was good. His body had fully accepted the upgrade.

“You okay?” Asked Shiro. “Everything good?”

“Everything is functioning normally.” Said Keith as he ran some diagnostics on himself. “I think I’m running 64.378% more efficiently than before…”

“That’s good…”

“Yeah… So what happened to Griffin?”

“Concussion. He’ll be out for a few days and then he’ll be on desk duty for a month or two before he’s allowed back out.”

“Good.”

“You really couldn’t have done anything nicer to him?”

Keith shrugged. “I could have shot him, but no. Concussion instead. That seemed like a better compromise to me.”

Shiro shook his head. “Whatever you say… So Are you and Lance going to?”

“Soon.”

“Okay.”

Keith hummed a little a little as he thought about their life together. Allura had talked about how they could take refuge on clustered, uninhabitable islands. They could use plastics and other trash in the ocean to create bridges and buildings. They could live freely and sustainably compared to their human counterparts.

He could just imagine him and Lance having their own little house on one of the islands. Lance would love living on an island. He’d love running around and looking at all the tropical fish and what not. It would be perfect. He could see Lance smiling everyday and just enjoying life. Keith wanted that for him. He wanted that for them.

“Well, we should go back.” Said Shiro. “I need to clock out.”

The two happily walked back to the station. As they did a technician for the K9 unit was bringing several large boxes into the building on a dolly. Keith looked at the boxes and scanned over everything. They must be the new K9 units coming in. Either that or they were the decommissioned K9 units that were going to get given away or, more than likely, auctioned off.

They walked past the front desk and Shiro talked to the woman there while Keith went back to his desk. When he got there, Iverson walked over to him. Keith assumed that he wanted to know how his solar generator was functioning.

“How’s the solar generator going?” Asked Iverson. Keith was right. “Functional?”

“Yes chief Iverson.” Said Keith calmly. “I run 64.378% more effectively now that I have a solar generator in place rather than being completely reliant on electricity. I predict that the station should save 12% on electrical bills alone.”

Iverson seemed very pleased by that. “That’s good. Maybe we can consider getting another forensic android if we upgrade you all with a solar generator?”

“That does sound like a good idea.” Said Keith. “Perhaps someone should crunch the numbers to see if that is possible? Do we have a financial department or is that more of a city thing?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” Said Iverson. “Shiro’s about to clock out, right?”

“That is correct sir.”

“Good. He said he’s moving in with his boyfriend, right?”

“That is correct sir.” Said Keith. “His lease is almost up and he is currently in the process of moving his things to his boyfriend’s home.”

Iverson nodded and thought for a moment. “Remind me, if he doesn’t have any personal days or vacation days he can talk to me to take one or two for moving if he needs it.”

“I hope you do not mind if I play back that as a recording for a later date?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Iverson headed back to his office and Keith just waited around for Shiro.

Shiro came back and much to his surprise he had one of the decommissioned K9 units with him. K9 units usually had black, white, and blue in colour with their unit number branded on their side. Decommissioned K9 units had normal coloured fur. They kind of looked like a husky.

“What’s with the dog?”

Shiro chuckled and grabbed his jacket. “Follow me and we’ll talk.” Once they were outside Shiro explained how he had considered getting them a dog back when Keith was still going by Akira, just because Shiro had always loved animals and thought Keith would like them too. “He’s a K0.SM_0 or as most people call them, Kosmo.”

“An SM_0?” Questioned Keith. He also felt that calling it Kosmo was ridiculous calling this thing Kosmo just because 0’s looked like o’s. “Aren’t they used as cadaver dogs and search and rescue?”

“Yep. I managed to get his history. This one was used in ten missing persons cases. Found every single person they were sent out to get.”

“Oh wow. So why decommission him?”

“Thermal imaging software was incompatible with them.” Said Shiro. “Kept giving false positives.”

“Ah, okay.” He reached over and placed their hand on Kosmo’s head. The dog paused for a moment before it started to wag its tail. It usually took a few hours before new programs could run smoothly. Lance was going to love Kosmo.

***

Lance was very, very nervous. Earlier that day he had gone in for certain upgrades with Matt, so now he was fully functional down there… He had been calibrated and checked over to make sure he was fully functional. The experience had been embarrassing for him, but he was still happy that everything was fine with him now. All that really needed to happen for them now was to wait for a suitable replacement to look after Adam. Hopefully Pidge would have an answer soon.

There was a knock at the door and Lance happily went to open it. He was immediately attacked by a giant husky. “Woof!”

“Puppy!” Cooed Lance as he hugged them. The dog wagged their tail and happily licked his face. It made Lance cuddle him more. “Awe, who do you belong to, little guy?”

“Hey Lance.” Said Shiro. “Are you okay?”

Lance looked up at both Shiro and Keith grinning. “So this guy belongs to you? Is he a real dog or an android?”

“He’s an android.” Said Shiro. “You know what kind of android he is, right?”

It took Lance a few moments before he found the dog’s identification in his internal catalogue. “Oh! A K0.SM_0! Decommissioned, right?”

“Yep.”

“Who’s a good boy?” Cooed Lance as he rubbed the dog’s face. “Yes you are! You are Kosmo! You are!”

“... Fine, I guess we’ll call him Kosmo.” Muttered Keith.

“You didn’t name him?” Asked Lance in shock.

“You’re letting the cold air in!” Called Adam.

Lance quickly got up and brought everyone inside. Adam seemed a little surprised to see Kosmo, but patted him anyway. As much as Lance would have loved to play with Kosmo some more, he wanted to have some private time with Keith.

As they talked, Lance tugged on Keith’s sleeve and gestured to take him to follow him. Once they were alone in Lance’s charging room, Lance happily kissed him and was more than pleased when Keith kissed him back.

“I missed you.” He said quietly.

“I missed you too.” Said Keith. “Got a new puzzle to show me?”

“Hmm, kind of… I got the upgrades so we can have sex if you want.” Said Lance quietly.

His confession made Keith blush. “Oh? You did now?”

Lance nodded happily. “Yeah… It was a little weird making sure that everything worked. Matt made me masturbate with a vibrator… and I kind of broke it…”

“... You did what?”

“Pressure sensors weren’t calibrated properly the first time.” Said Lance quickly. “Matt said this was why they tested this stuff. Have to make sure you won’t accidentally crush someone’s dick… At least that’s what Matt said… Anyway, it’s all good now. We just need some form of lubrication.”

“O-oh… Um… Well I don’t have anything like that so…”

“I know. I don’t have anything either. But we’re compatible, right?” Asked Lance. “If we want to… I mean, I know you got it for aesthetics and all of that… But I would like to...”

Keith blushed some more. “I… I wouldn’t mind. So um, you can just turn that program on and off right?”

“Oh yeah, of course.” Said Lance. “It is pretty crazy how intense everything can get. The only time’s I’ve hit that level of sensitivity was when I was calibrating my thermal sensors to make sure I could still read temperatures correctly… But even then it wasn’t anything like that. Was it the same for you?”

Keith’s face was bright red at this point. This pleased Lance a lot. Apparently making Keith blush was now a favourite pastime of his. Lance couldn’t help it. Keith’s facial expressions were cute to him.

“Keith?”

The android awkwardly looked away and nodded. “Um, well yeah… I don’t normally experience over stimulation of any sort be it weather or because of other sensory stimulation so… yeah… It was such a strange experience…”

“So you don’t want to have sex?”

“No, I do. I just… Um… Nervous I guess? I mean… Neither of us were really made for this so…”

“True, but let’s face it Keith, lots of things aren’t made to do their original function. Coca-Cola was originally created as a way to counter morphine addiction, listerine was originally a floor cleaner and surgical antiseptic, and Play Dough was made to clean wallpaper... You were made to be a forensic analysis android. I was made to be a care assistant android. We don’t have to be what we were made for. We can change and adapt.”

“I know.” Said Keith. He cupped Lance’s face and gently kissed him. “I’m never going to stop changing for you. No matter what happens, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Said Lance softly. He ran his fingers through Keith’s hair and smiled lovingly up at him. “So… I was actually thinking that since we are together and we um… We actually have compatible parts right now… Maybe we could-”

“Sneak out somewhere to have sex?” Suggested Keith.

“Yeah. I know I’m a romantic, but I want to have sex on a bed. An actual bed.” Said Lance. “Preferably not Adam’s bed… Even though we don’t technically excrete any sexual fluids and we wouldn’t really mess up his bed… But I’d still prefer it if we don’t…”

Keith nodded a little as he thought about this. “... I have an idea. Adam and Shiro probably won’t buy it at all, but I have an idea.”

“Okay. I trust you.”

Keith quickly kissed him again before they walked back out to where Adam and Shiro were. Much to their surprise Kosmo was on his back, on the coffee table, with his throat open. Shiro had taken the filter out of his throat and was putting another one in.

“Um… What’s wrong with the pupper?” Asked Lance.

“Shitty filter.” Said Adam. “They were making a weird wheezing sound so Shiro’s checking his throat. Sometimes the filter in these models gets a little loose and they sound like an asthmatic runner.”

“I’ve got it.” Said Shiro. “Don’t worry. It was just a little loose.”

Keith shook his head. “Right. Anyway, Lance and I are going back to your apartment.”

“Why?” Asked Shiro.

Keith shrugged. “I found some stuff that I thought Lance might be interested in. Since you’re here you can look after Adam, it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.” Shiro practically waved them away. However, Adam seemed to give them both a very knowing look. He smirked, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Okay, cool bye.” Keith took Lance by the hand and they both quickly left the house. When they were about a block away, Keith let out a long sigh. “They didn’t buy it at all, did they?”

Lance shrugged. “Adam sure as hell didn’t, but Shiro might have? I don’t know. He seemed distracted.”

“Yeah… A-anyway… I guess we’re really doing this huh?”

“I guess we are.” Said Lance. “... But we can just do some touching. Doesn’t have to be all the way. We’re both new at this. Hell, I haven’t even had this all installed for a full day. I want to go slow and make sure everything still works right.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” He quickly looked around before he quickly kissed Lance’s cheek. It made Lance grin and the two of them happily walked down the street towards Shiro’s apartment.


	152. Island of flesh (Monster AU XVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am. Back on my bullshit. Pretty sure the title of this chapter is one of the most accurate descriptions of a chapter ever or something... I'm tired... Eh, I'm gonna drink some tea and probably go to bed. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

_I’m hungry..._   
_I’m cold..._   
_Where are you? Where did you go?_   
_... I’m scared… I don’t know where you are..._   
_Did you finally leave me? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you..._   
_I’m sorry… Please come back..._   
_I’m hungry._   
_I’m so hungry it hurts. It hurts so badly._   
_Please… Please… We were going to stick together, weren’t we?_   
_You can’t leave me now… Please..._   
_Please… I’m scared._   
_I need you..._   
_..._   
_..._   
_Lance, please..._   
_..._   
_..._   
_I’m hungry..._

***

Sendak managed to make it back to the little pier that he had docked at to actually get on the island. The quickly sprawling flesh had slowed down their expansion several feet before it hit the water, but it had covered and consumed everything in its path. He quickly looked around and counted his losses. Only he, and one of the hired goons had made it out with him. Lance, Krolia, and the other goons had either fallen into the hole that opened up or got consumed by the flesh.

“Fascinating…” Said Honerva as she stepped off the boat. “This looks like an extreme case of that Hell flower. What do you think?”

“I think I want to break out the flamethrowers and roast this bitch.” Hissed Sendak. “This was just a fucking mess.”

“Yeah, how did this happen?” She asked.

“Krolia.” Growled Sendak. “K-P1’s incubator lost her fucking mind, came here, and shot him or something when he pupated.”

“He pupated?” Asked Honerva. She looked stunned. “Oh wow… No wonder this stuff has spread so far… A larva uses as much energy as they physically can when they pupate. After getting damaged he might just be instinctually trying to eat as much as he can to repair himself?”

“I don’t give a fuck right at the moment.” Muttered Sendak. “So what the fuck are you doing standing around here? Call in the big wigs and let them know we need the whole area sectioned off and most importantly-”

“Flamethrowers. I know.” She muttered as she walked back to the boat. “It looks like it’s stopped expanding now though, right?”

“Yeah, for the moment.” Muttered Sendak. He watched Honerva walk back into the boat along with the very shaken hired goon. 

Once they were gone, Sendak walked back over to the squirming flesh. He picked up a stick to poke at it, but the second he did, thin flesh tendrils reached up, wrapped around the organic material, and quickly sucked it in. His scientific mind started to turn. He looked along the shore line and happened to find pieces of plastic and metal bits.

He picked up a metal pipe and poked at the flesh. It didn’t react. So Sendak threw some glass and plastic on the flesh and it did nothing. But when he tossed some dead leaves and a clam onto the flesh it quickly consumed it. So it seemed like it was just consuming bio organic materials. Interesting.

She had to wonder, with this much organic material being consumed the hell flower this was blooming must have been huge. Colossal even. K-P1 probably would have been somewhere deep underground. Probably took up most of the underground too. It would be beautiful to actually see such a thing up close. Hopefully they could get some footage of it before they burn it to the ground.

***

_I’m sorry… I’m so sorry..._   
_I’m hungry..._   
_I’m scared… I’m so scared..._   
_Please… I don’t know what’s happening to me..._   
_..._   
_..._   
_..._   
_I’m sorry..._   
_... It’s too late for me, isn’t it?_   
_I… I’m sorry..._   
_You’re gone, aren’t you? You’re not coming back?_   
_..._   
_Who would come back for me?_   
_I don’t blame you..._   
_I’m sorry..._   
_I want to see you again, at least one more time..._   
_I know I’m selfish… I’m sorry..._   
_I… I’m sorry… I… I love you..._   
_I’m hungry..._   
_I’m so hungry..._

***

Lance reached out and breached the thin film that was keeping him in place. He tumbled out onto the soft ground and started to cough and vomit out a corrosive liquid mixed with his own blood. He quickly sat back and looked at his body. A lot of his flesh and some of his clothes had been eaten away by something acidic, but it was quickly healing already. He reached up and tugged at the muzzle on his face and was pleased to see that the plastic had melted away enough for him to pull it off and toss it aside.

He looked back at the thing he had been encased in. It looked like some kind of fleshy sack that was filled with acid, like a stomach. It made Lance pause as he looked around the hole he now found himself in. The whole place was covered in flesh.

The floor, wall, and ceiling were covered in red, purple, pink flesh. It squirmed and wriggled. It had teeth and claws. It had clouded eyes. It had pulsing blood vessels, random bones, and strange looking organs.

Lance slowly stood up, flinching when he heard squelching beneath his feet. There was no way he was going to get out of this hole. He was trapped. This flesh was Keith, right? It had to have been Keith… Was this because Krolia tried to kill him? He didn’t know what was going on. He put his hand on the wall. It felt warm and soft. It was twitching. Some thin tendrils reached out and tried to pull his hand back in, but gently. He pulled his hand back. There was some resistance, but the tendrils let him go.

“... It’s okay Keith.” Said Lance quietly. “I’m still here.”

Was Keith just some giant flesh monster now? No mind but just the need to consume everything? He didn’t know. Maybe there was some main body somewhere? Back in the caves where he had pupated in the first place? He wasn’t sure, but maybe there was something? He wanted to find it. Find Keith.

He looked around and found a slightly hidden cave and walked through it. It was dark, but Lance didn’t mind. He just wanted to find Keith’s pupa. He shook his head and pinched one of his nostrils shut and snorted out a wad of snot, blood, and possibly bits of partially digested sinis flesh. He did the same with the other nostril. It felt like his nose was finally clear. It was good.

He continued deeper into the cave as he brushed his hand along the wall. He felt kind of comforted just by touching the wall. It was like he was touching Keith, which he kind of was, but still, it made him feel better.

He brushed his fingers up against a bump and felt something pop under his fingers. Lance quickly looked over at it and saw that he seemed to pop a small stomach bag. He has acid on his fingers and bug parts were falling out of the bag in a wet heap. Tendrils reached out and quickly pulled the bug parts back into the wet mass that was the wall. Looking down he noticed that there were more tendrils lightly crawling over his feet. Lance quickly moved his feet and the tendrils quickly receded. 

“It’s okay Keith.” Lance said as he ran his hand against the wall. “I’m still here for you. Don’t worry. I’m here. Don’t be scared.”

He continued deeper into the cave. He felt the humidity quickly starting to build up. It made him feel a little dizzy. About halfway down in the cave his sense of smell slowly started to return. The whole place started to smell sweet. Incredibly, amazingly sweet. It made him drool, and made his stomach growl. It smelled just like the smaller insects that he was eating when he was waiting for Keith.

Lance ran his hand over a strange looking purple organ. Without thinking he sank his fingers into it and gently pulled on it. The organ pulled away without any resistance and it smelled more amazing than anything Lance had ever smelled before. He sank his teeth into it. The organ burst with flavour in his mouth. The juices just slipped down his throat and warmed his stomach. It was amazing. He loved it. It tasted so good. 

By the time Lance realized what he was doing the strange purple organ was gone and Lance felt both shocked and disgusted at himself. He had no idea what the hell this meant. Was this just some part of what he was now? It was so weird. He’d worry about it later. Right now, all that was important was Keith… But he could still smell something so sweet and delicious just up ahead...

***

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry._   
_Please… I don’t know what’s happening to me._   
_I feel sick..._   
_I’m hungry..._   
_Please… Please… Please..._   
_I’m so fucking scared..._   
_My body feels so weird… I feel so sick..._   
_I…_   
_I..._   
_I..._   
_My body… Something is wrong..._   
_Something is very, very wrong… I don’t know what’s happening..._   
_Help me… Please..._   
_Please..._   
_Lance..._   
_Save me..._

***

Krolia groaned in pain as she woke up. Her arm was clearly broken. She had been thrown from where she had been standing onto the roof of a nearby building. She had landed badly. She hissed in pain as she held that broken arm.

She looked around at her surroundings and felt the blood drain from her face. The island was covered in flesh. Living, breathing, all consuming flesh. And she caused all of this. She shot Keith and didn’t kill him. She shot him and he just bounced back, consuming everything in his path.

Keith was a monster. A complete and utter monster. She was a stupid woman that let this all happen. She should have never let them do any of this to her. If she had just stuck doing her job she would have never have done any of this. Heck, she might have actually had Keith naturally and had him as a human baby, not whatever the fuck this was.

She was trembling. She wanted to cry. Everything was going to hell. Everything was hell. Krolia hated it. She thought that this would end it all. She didn’t want this. She just wanted to avoid unnecessary pain and suffering, but she had just caused more.

She looked around the rooftop and noticed some of the flesh slowly creeping over the edges towards her. It made Krolia shudder. This was just the end of everything. The end of her. She looked around the rooftop and saw her gun.

Krolia hesitated, and with her working arm she picked it up. She checked the chamber and found that there was still one bullet left. She chalked it up to her drunken state not actually taking out all the bullets for their gunpowder.

“... I… I’m sorry…” She whispered quietly. “I… I’m sorry…” She was scared. After everything that had happened she just wanted it to end. Maybe she was a coward? Maybe she just couldn’t take it anymore? Maybe… Maybe next time Krolia would get it right and be a good mother to Keith?

She pressed the barrel of the gun against her head and pulled the trigger. Her body swayed for a moment before she fell forward and landed in the flesh below. Tendrils quickly reached up and started to consume her body.

***

Honerva patiently waited on the dock for the reinforcements to arrive. It was a little annoying, but these things happened. She wanted to see what this strange flesh had done to the island. She theorised that, like in K-P1’s autopsy, he was going to consume as much flesh as he could, and then create a hell flower. After that he would be reborn completely healed. However, she wasn’t sure what he would be when he emerged. She really wanted to see it.

She looked over at Sendak who was still poking the flesh that had stopped expanding. She did wonder what he was doing, but hopefully this meant that he might get his other arm eaten. She would really enjoy that. Bastard would deserve it.

She took out a pair of binoculars and had a look around the island. As she did so she noticed a few interesting looking little organs popping up around in clusters. It was interesting. Little slimy purple things. They were swelling quite rapidly. If they continued to swell at this rate they might grow to the size of a large pumpkin by nightfall. This is interesting. She wanted to go over and grab one for research purposes, but didn’t want to get eaten alive by the squirming flesh.

“Hmm, I wonder if that is…?” She shook her head and dismissed the thought. That would just be silly, right? There was no way that this would be… Unless… Maybe she could delay the flamethrowers getting here? But for science of course. Those weird organs could be nothing, but then again...

***

Lance continued to walk through the cave system. The humidity was intense and the whole place was heavy with the smell of sweetness that made Lance’s stomach growl. He wanted to eat it. He wanted to eat the walls, but he wanted to find Keith.

He took a few more steps and slipped on something, quickly falling down a small incline and crashing into a rock. At least it was covered in flesh so it was soft. Lance quickly got up and looked around. There was still flesh everywhere with teeth and stuff, but there were oddly shaped organs

They were about the size of a basketball. Lance frowned a little and put his hand on one of them. It was warm and kind of wet. He felt something slowly turning under the organ’s membrane. It was weird. It didn’t smell like any of the other things that made him feel hungry. He wondered what it was and kept walking.

He eventually found a cavern that looked kind of familiar. Ore of those purple looking organs. Lots of them were much bigger than basketballs. There were a few hanging from the walls that probably would have come up to his hip if they were on the floor. 

He tried to walk to where Keith’s pupa was. He could kind of tell where it was since the flesh either pushed the lights or cover them in as little flesh as possible. It was disturbing, but it helped guide Lance to where he needed to go.

Lance quickly found the little side cave where Keith was. Much to his shock the back wall where Keith had been anchored his pupa, was gone. There was a huge hole in the wall where it was before. He peered inside and squinted into the darkness. There was something much larger down there. He could kind of see something that kind of looked like a bud. A flower bud? It was surrounded by more of the weird purple organs.

He had no way of actually knowing what it was, or what was actually in there, but his gut instinct told him what it was. “Keith…”

Lance very carefully climbed into the new area. There was a bit of a dip to get in there. The ground here was a lot softer. He could feel the fleshy tendrils gripping his feet just a little more firmly than before. He actually had to make an effort to pull his feet out of the flesh as he walked closer to the thing that looked like a flower bud.

He reached out and touched it. It kind of felt like skin, but skin stretched thin over thick and rough calcified mass. It still felt warm under his fingers and he could feel a heartbeat, or some kind of pulsation under his finger tips.

He had no proof that this was Keith, but Lance felt that this was Keith. It had to be. This was Keith, he found him. Keith was okay… Even if the pupa he was in was about the size of a bolder now.

Lance let out a relieved sigh and crouched down next to him. “Good… You’re okay. I’m so glad… I’ll stay here until you emerge. I won’t leave again.” He didn’t bother brushing off the tendrils that were starting to snake around his legs. It was fine. He just wanted to be with Keith.


	153. Ginger (X-men AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is not used to new people and new settings. Might be having some PTSD going on from his shitty life in the foster system, but at least he has someone to keep him company. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

To say that Keith was nervous about meeting Lance’s family was an understatement. When he had told Adam about getting a form so he could leave the school grounds it was only a matter of minutes before Shiro found out and was gushing over Keith actually spending time with someone else for the holidays.

Because of all the crap Keith had been through he was very, very wary of actually going and had seesawed between the emotions of “This is going to be fun” and “I have made a horrible mistake”. Even when he was traveling to Lance’s home with nothing more than a backpack with a spare change of clothes and an extra pair of shoes. Lance looked like he wanted to question him about it, but he didn’t, which Keith was relieved about.

Still, he was halfway across the country now and at Lance’s house. Keith felt like he was going to be sick. He was so scared that they would either just hate him on sight and he’d be forced go back to the mansion before the day was over, or they would just put up with him and pretend he was welcome but they couldn’t wait until he was gone. He didn’t know which one he hated more.

Lance happily knocked at the door and seconds later an older woman opened the door and hugged him tightly. She started to quickly talk to him in rapid fire Spanish. Keith nervously stood back as his ears quickly drooped. He knew he wasn’t going to fit in here. They were going to hate him. Maybe it wasn’t too late for Keith to run down the road to the bus stop and get the hell out of there?

Lance happily spoke to his mama before he quickly introduced her to Keith. “Mama, this is my friend, Keith. Keith, this is my mama.”

“H-hi…” Said Keith quietly.

“Hello Keith… I hope you don’t mind, but we set up an air mattress in Lance’s room.”

Keith hated air mattresses. He always popped them by accident with his claws. He’d always get into trouble when he popped it. He was back at his foster homes again… He really hoped that Lance’s parents didn’t believe in physical punishment.

“Thank you.” Said Keith quietly.

Lance grinned and walked into the house with Keih closely following. He kept his head down and didn’t look around the house and only looked up when they got to Lance’s room. It was a much more chaotic version of his dorm room. Except there was a blow up mattress in the middle of the room. 

He looked at it for a bit and tried to figure out how to sleep on it without popping it and getting yelled at. Perhaps he could lie down and just dangle his hands and feet over the edge? That might work.

Lance sighed and flopped onto his bed. “Man, I missed my room… Going to a boarding school is so weird.”

“... Yeah.”

Keith didn’t really know where to go, so he sat on the floor. He was anxious and he hated it. He didn’t like being around strange people. At least Lance’s room smelled like him and it was calming to be in a place that smelled like someone familiar.

Suddenly the door opened up and a teenage girl ran in and jumped on Lance. Which made Lance screech and Keith automatically bared his teeth at them. He only just managed to stop himself growling.

The girl didn’t even seem to notice Keith as all their attention was on Lance. “Sup mutant?”

“Oh can it Rachel. We have a guest, remember?” He gestured over to Keith. “Rachel, this is Keith. Keith, this is my twin sister, Rachel.”

Rachel looked over at Keith and made a surprised sound. “Oh! Hey there… Um… You’re very purple huh?”

Keith’s ears flattened against his head and he quickly looked away. “Yeah... “

“Anyway, mama wants you to tell her everything Lance. She wants to know that you’re being treated well at your new school.”

“But I just got here!” Whined Lance.

“You think that’s an excuse?” Asked Rachel/ She quickly pulled him to his feet. “Come on. You can come too Keith.”

“I’m just going to unpack my stuff.” Said Keith quietly. 

“Okay. Let’s go Lance.”

As Lance got dragged out of the room by his sister, Lance called out. “Bathroom is the room that has the starfish stuck on it!”

Then he was gone and Keith was still nervous. If things went wrong he could just sneak out at night and hitch hike back to the school. It would be difficult, but he could do it. His anxiety knew no bounds when he was in new environments. His ears wouldn’t stop twitching.

“Meow.”

Keith looked over at a fat orange cat with a slightly squashed looking face standing in the doorway. He tilted his head a little and gave the cat a confused look. The cat waddled into the room and looked up at him.

“Meow.”

“Um… Meow?”

“Meow.”

“Meow?” He reached out to the cat and let it sniff him. The cat did just that and lightly headbutted his hand. “So… This means you like me I guess?”

“Meow.”

Keith felt slightly more relaxed and gently patted the cat’s head. Cats were nice. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he could be around the cat for a bit. They seemed nice enough. He saw they had a collar and checked it. The cat’s name was Ginger.

***

Lance happily sat on the couch in the lounge room with his mama and Rachel. Everyone else was either at work or out with friends. It was nice to catch up with his family. He did call them every weekend to catch up and see what everyone was doing, but face to face conversations were better.

“You’re getting treated well there, right?” Asked his mama. “You’re keeping up with your school work?”

“Si mama.” Said Lance. “My grades are still a C average, but with some study help from Pidge and Hunk I actually managed to pull a B in the last Math’s pop quiz.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Mama, who cares about academics? I wanna know about the mutants at your school! Are they all like Keith? Are you the only normal looking one?”

“Hey! Keith is normal looking.” Said Lance defensively. “He just happens to be a little purple and fluffy… But there are other students that don’t look like us. Some have horns, wings, and scales. I actually am pretty abnormal in terms of looks. So don’t be a dick to Keith.”

“Don’t swear at your sister.”

“She was being rude.”

“I know.” His mama looked at Rachel and gave her a dirty look. “No one word. Got it?”

“... Si mama…” Muttered Rachel. “Anyway, what do your other friends do? Like Keith is a purple cat looking guy, but what about Hunk and Pidge? What do they do?”

“Oh, Hunk is all about kinetic energy. Like, if he gets punched in the arm, he can take that energy and move it to his hand and punch or kick back with just as much force.” Said Lance. “But Hunk is a gentle giant kind of guy. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. Pidge has a form of technokinesis where she can talk to electronics. Because of them the principal has to put both digital and regular key locks on a lot of things.”

“Is Keith just purple and fluffy?” Asked Rachel.

“He’s um… He has a few more animal tendencies than most people, but he’s really nice.” Said Lance. “A little rough around the edges, but he’s a really smart, cool guy… He just has a little trouble getting used to new people.” He glared at Rachel. “If you make him uncomfortable I will throw a shoe at you.”

“Don’t threaten your sister.” Warned his mama. She stood up and sighed. “Well, everyone knows that Keith is staying with us and I did show them the picture you sent me so everyone knows he looks a little different… So no one should be too shocked.”

“Meow.”

“Oh yeah? Well, meow.”

“Meow.”

“Meow, meow.”

The family looked down the hall to see Keith walking down with Ginger in his arms. The cat was usually kind of grumpy and only liked girls. Seemed like Ginger had made an exception. She had her chin rested against his shoulder. Between meowing she was purring. When Keith noticed the family staring at him, he froze and quickly put Ginger down, much to her dismay.

“S-sorry.” He said quietly.

“Can you talk to animals?” Asked Rachel.

Keith shook his head. “No… Cats and dogs just seem to like me more than other animals… She just wanted me to carry her… Sorry...”

“Nah, it’s cool.” Said Rachel. She happily picked Ginger up and put him on her lap. Ginger happily curled up and purred. She was happy again.

“Would you like something to drink?” Asked mama McClain. “I made a jug of peach iced tea. One of Lance’s favourites.”

Keith seemed a little surprised but nodded. “That would be really nice. Thank you.”

She seemed pleased with how polite Keith was being. “Think nothing of it. Take a seat anywhere you like.” She got up and walked into the kitchen.

Keith looked around nervously for a moment before he sat on a chair. His tail nervously wrapped around his leg as he sat unnaturally still. He wasn’t comfortable being around anyone new. Lance sighed and walked over to him and sat on the arm of the chair and grinned at him.

“I can’t believe you managed to tame Ginger. Ginger only likes girls.” Said Lance. “And apparently you.”

Keith shrugged. “I guess?”

Lance’s mother came back in and happily handed out iced tea to everyone. She happily sat down and smiled kindly at Keith. “Now dear, why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?”

After a while Keith started to visibly relax a little more, and became a little more talkative. When other people came into the house, Keith would freeze up for a few minutes before relaxing again. Everyone seemed pretty cautious of Keith, and to be fair, Keith was cautious of them. After a few hours after mostly everyone had shown up, Keith retreated back to Lance’s bedroom with Ginger closely following him.

“Is he okay?” Asked Rachel.

Lance shrugged. “He tends to nap a lot and isn’t used to being around so many people.” He looked up at the clock. “He usually takes a quick nap around this time anyway. He’ll be up in about an hour.” He smiled. “He always comes into my room around this time and steals all the blankets and pillows off my bed to nap in the one sunny spot on the floor.”

Veronica smirked a little when he said that. “Oh, he steals your stuff? Why doesn’t he sleep in his own room?”

“There’s a jerk that uses his powers to bang on his window and wake him up.” Said Lance. Griffin was such an asshole. Hopefully he’d get buried under a snowdrift or something these holidays. Asshole.

“Well he seems like a nice young man.” Said Lance’s mama. “He reminds me of Ginger when she first came home. Such a skittish little thing. I’m sure he’ll feel a little more comfortable in the coming days.”

***

Keith still didn’t know how to sleep on the airmat. So he got onto Lance’s bed instead. He couldn’t help but purr softly just breathing in Lance’s scent. It was comforting to have something familiar close to him.

He felt a little paw smack his ear a few times. He tilted his head and looked over at Ginger. She headbutted him and purred. Keith rolled his eyes and gently scratched behind her ears and under her chin. She melted under his touch and happily curled up next to him.

Keith rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to be your boyfriend. I’m gay.”

Ginger didn’t seem to care and snuggled up closer to Keith. She purred louder. Keith just sighed and accepted his fate. Maybe he was just warm or something? He ignored the purring cat and put his head against Lance’s pillow. It smelled strongly of him. It made Keith feel relaxed enough to fall asleep in a strange house full of strangers.

Considering Keith;s history, this was a pretty big deal. 

***

About an hour after Keith vanished, Lance went to see if he had gotten into any trouble. Also to tell him that dinner was going to be ready in about an hour. When he looked into his room his heart melted a little. Keith was happily cuddling his pillow while Ginger was curled up against his stomach. His ears were twitching and his tail slightly twitched every once once in a while/

He took a quick photo and grinned. Keith was so damn cute. He could let Keith sleep just a little bit longer before he woke him up. It was so cute. How could Keith be so cute? He used to think that Keith might have been kind of a jerk, especially after they first interacted, but now? He couldn’t imagine Keith as anything but a kind and misunderstood man.


	154. Beach Episode (Modern fantasy AU XXII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which a bunch or morons may or may not have evoked the wrath of a sea monster just by existing. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With the turning of the seasons, and temperatures getting hotter it was only natural to go to the beach. At least that’s what Lance’s mama, Rosa, thought. So she decided to be nice to her youngest and suggested that he bring some of his clients to the family's private island. Yeah, his mama’s side of the family was kind of loaded.

So there was Lance, on an island with his mama along with; Keith, Krolia, Lotor, Shiro, Moontow, Sendak, Narti, Romelle, Pidge, Allura, Hunk, and Plaxum. Lance was shocked that everyone was able to fit on the boat to even get there in the first place.

Lance had asked why the rest of the family wasn’t coming, but they couldn’t close the clinic, and Lance had been pulling a lot of extra hours recently with his ever increasing list of clients… Plus they only ever closed the clinic so everyone could have a day off for things like Christmas. Rachel was having some time off next week.

“Um, this was a nice idea and all mama…” Said Lance. “But um… Are you really sure it’s okay for all of us to be here?”

“You worry too much mjio.” She said. “Beaches are a lot more fun when you’re with more people.”

“Mrs McClain.” Said Krolia.

“Ah, Krolia, is something the matter?” She asked.

“Not at all.” Said the elf woman. “I just wanted to thank you again for looking after my son. You even helped us pick out some nice swimwear.”

“Oh think nothing of it.” Said Rosa. “I’ve always enjoyed helping people pick out clothes of any sort. I must say, purple really is your colour. But please, just call me Rosa.” 

It was true too. When Lance had told everyone about going to the beach, most of them didn’t have any swimwear. Which meant a shopping trip. One which Lance was somehow neither informed about or invited to go on. Lance was more than a little disappointed about that, but he tried not to let it show.

“Alright everyone!” Called Rosa. Let’s have some fun!”

Everyone happily split off into different groups to do their own thing, leaving Lance and Rosa to set up some towels and umbrellas. From their spot on the beach Lance could see a few of them had gone off to swim in the ocean, some had gone to look at the cliff, and others were just poking around in the sand. It was nice.

Lance’s only major worry was that his mama might find out that her and him were the only humans on the island… But everyone was doing a good job at concealing their otherworldly appearances.

He looked over at his mama and noticed that she was already happily laying on a foldout chair with a book. She had the right idea. Today was a day to relax. He laid down on a towel and hummed happily to himself. The sun felt good on his skin.

He heard someone whimpering next to him. Lance turned his head and looked over at Nyma who was desperately trying to cover herself despite wearing a rather modest bikini. Yeah, for some reason she decided to come along too.

“Um… Are you okay?” Asked Lance.

“Why did I come with you all?” She whined. “Everyone is wearing such indecent outfits! I-I’ll never forgive you for this! You pervert!”

“How the heck am I the pervert in this situation?”

“Look at what you are wearing! A-and what you’re not wearing!” She sobbed as she covered her face. “Sh-shirtless and wearing such small shorts!”

“... They go down to my knees…”

***

The trio of elves plus Narti had taken some of the inflatable rings and had decided to spend some time floating on the water. “It was very nice that Rosa let us come here.” Said Krolia. “Be sure to thank her properly too Keith.”

“I will.” Said Keith as he stared at his inflatable ring. It had a unicorn head and tail. 

As they talked, Lotor had finished filling up his inflatable doughnut ring and attempted to step into it. Everything was fine… Until he tried to pull it past his hips. He couldn’t get it past his ass. Yes, Lotor was still dummy thicc. Not as much as before, but he still had a phat ass.

He glanced over his shoulder only to see Krolia and Keith quickly looking away from him. “... Just hurry up and do it…” He muttered.

“Do what?” Asked Keith innocently.

“Laugh.” Muttered Lotor. “I know you want to.”

“Well if you insist…”

“Don’t laugh at me you fat pig!” As the elves argued, Narti blew up her inflatable ring, got into it, and happily floated out.

***

A few feet away from the elves, Shiro was building a sandcastle with Moontow, or at least trying to. Moontow felt like she was in hell while Shiro happily babied her. He couldn’t get over the fact that she was actually an adult hobbit, despite having the body of a six year old.

“Let’s build a huge sandcastle together.” Said Shiro with a smile. “Here, take this shovel. You’re gonna have a lot of fun with your papa.”

“Fucking kill me…” She muttered.

“What are you two doing?” Asked Allura as she walked over with Sendak. “Playing in the sand sounds like a lot of fun.”

“I’m pretty good at building things.” Said the cyclops.

Shiro pouted a little. “She only needs one papa and that’s me.”

“Why can’t we all be her papa?” Asked Allura.

“She only needs one.” Said Shiro. “Plus, aren’t you a woman?”

“Well, most of my kind appear female, but we all produce pollen so we are technically both…” She shook her head. “But I digress… How about we have a sand castle competition? Winner gets to be Moontow’s papa?”

“I don’t care.” Said Sendak. “As long as I can beat that damn oni, then I’ll do it.”

“Bring it on!” Said Shiro.

Ten minutes later the trio had finished their sculptures. Allura had made a flower and written a friendly little greeting of “howdy” under it. Just what one would expect from the cheerful florist. Sendak ended up making a sword that seemed to defy all laws of gravity. Shiro had made… a rather lumpy looking pile of sand attempting to be a castle.

“... Doesn’t matter!” Said Shiro quickly. “Only Moontow gets to choose her papa! Little munchkin, whose lap would you rather sit on?!”

“This is getting weird!” Whined Moontow.

***

Meanwhile, up on the cliff, Plaxum, Romelle, Pidge and Hunk were having a look around.Pidge was interested in the crabs that were quickly scuttling along the rocks. Hunk was enjoying the view and Plaxum was complementing Romelle on her wetsuit.

“Is it comfy?” She asked.

Romelle shrugged. “Kind of, but I can’t just walk around as a skeleton.”

“Fair, fair.” She walked over to the edge of the cliff and grinned. “This place looks nice… Perfect place to go diving! Let’s jump off!”

Hunk looked over the edge and gulped. “Are you sure? Jumping sounds scary…”

“Sounds like fun to me.” Said Romelle.

Plaxum grinned. “Sure does. Right, I’ll go first!” The mermaid took a running start and jumped off the edge. “Cannonball!”

“WAIT! CAN YOU SWIM IN HUMAN FORM?!” Yelled Hunk just that little bit too late. 

“OH SHIIIII-” Plaxum hit the water like a cannonball and sank like one too.

“I’ll save you!” Called Romelle as she also jumped after her.

“CAN YOU SWIM?!” Yelled Hunk.

“NOOOOOO!” Yelled Romelle as she hit the water and sank with Plaxum.

“WHY DID YOU JUMP IN THEN?!” Cried Hunk. He looked over at Pidge. “W-we gotta help them P-” Pidge was currently eating a crab she found on the rocks. Poor Hunk was crying as he ran down the cliff to try and save the girls, though he didn’t know if Plaxum could technically down since she was a mermaid or Romelle since she was a skeleton.

***

Lance hummed happily as he lifted his head slightly. He was happy that everyone could sit around and relax. Also, since they were the only ones on the island, the people that had specific food addictions like Keith with fries, Krolia with ice cream, and Shiro with alcohol, they were cut off from those foods. It was great.

“You okay there mjio?” She asked. “Are you not going to go swimming?”

“Once everything settles down a little more. You just relax and take a load of mama.”

“Aw, you’re such a good boy… Did you remember to pack the paddle boards?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“You and your brothers are pretty good at it. Maybe you should see if anyone else would like to learn how to use it?”

Lance looked out around the beach and saw the three elves happily lazing around in the water in their inflatable rings. They looked like they might enjoy learning how to paddle board. He quickly went off to get the boards near where they set up a grill.

***

As everyone was enjoying themselves on the beach, none of them seemed to realize that they had disturbed an ancient creature. A monstrous behemoth that had made the caves beneath the island their home. Had they come from the other world? It was impossible to tell. This creature had been around and alive for eons… and they did not like that their slumber had been disturbed… Time for revenge...

***

“Keith!” Called Lance from the beach. He waved at the elves to get their attention. After a few minutes the elves had made their way back to the beach and Lance happily introduced them to paddle boarding. “It’s fun and a great workout. Do you want to give it a try?”

“Sure, why not?”

Lance grinned and helped the three elves get in the water and stand on the boards. Elves seemed to naturally have pretty good balance because all three of them got it in one go. Lance was a little relieved that it went so smoothly. They all seemed to be able to move around a little with the paddles too.

“This is pretty easy.” Said Keith.

Lance gave him a thumbs up. “Looking good there Keith. You’re a fast learner. The boards we’re using are a stable, all-rounder type of board, so you can do all kinds of things while riding them. Even have a go at yoga if you think your balance is good enough.”

Lotor chuckled a little. “So Keith isn’t some paddle board prodigy, it’s just easy to ride.” As Lotor made his snide comment, which damaged Keith’s ego, a long, dark shape snaked its way over towards Lotor’s paddle board.

“Hey!” Snapped Keith. “Shut the fuck up!”

Suddenly Lotor’s board flew out from under him and he went crashing into the water. His arm hit Keith’s board which sent the other elf falling in fast with him. Both elves screamed and grabbed hold of Lance. Neither of them could actually swim yet and were terrified of drowning, despite the water only coming up to their thighs.

“Whoa! Calm down!” Cried Lance as he tried not to fall over from suddenly getting grabbed. “Neither of you are going to drown!”

Once they realised that they weren’t going to drown, Keith and Lotor went right back to trying to murder each other. “YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!” Yelled Keith.

“YOU SHOULD’VE STAYED OUT OF MY WAY!” Yelled Lotor. “DAMN IT! MY BALANCE WAS PERFECT AND THEN THE BOARD TOPPED OVER BY ITSELF!”

Lance sighed and quickly went to grab the boards. “Well it certainly does seem that way… I mean, there were no waves coming in…”

Keith rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Must have just been your fat ass throwing off your center of gravity… Then again I’m pretty sure your ass has its own gravitational pull at this point.”

“... I’m going to shove my hand up your ass, pull out your intestines and make you eat them.” Growled Lotor.

“Whoa! Calm down!” Said Lance quickly. He needed to calm this situation down fast. “It was your first time trying to balance while paddling. You’re using inner muscles and other areas you wouldn’t normally use. It’s only natural you would overbalance a few times until you get used to it. No need to threaten making people eat their own guts…” He looked over at Krolia who had very calmly paddled away from the chaos and looked like she was enjoying her time. He wouldn’t expect anything less from the yoga master. Seconds later Krolia’s board shot out from under her and she fell into the water.

“Mum!” Cried Keith.

“I told you it was the board!” Grumbled Lotor.

***

While that drama was happening, Romelle and Plaxum had recovered from their almost drowning. Hunk was finally not stressing anymore either since the two girls were sitting up and talking.

“I want to do it again.” Said Romelle.

“Please don’t…” Said Hunk. I don’t think my heart will be able to take it…” He looked over at Pidge. She was currently sniffing a starfish. “Don’t eat that Pidge!”

Pidge rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to eat a starfish. She just wanted to sniff it. It was weird looking. Something moved just out of her field of vision and she quickly turned her head to see… a tentacle poking out of the sand.

“What the fuck?” Muttered Pidge. “... Fuck it.” Her canine instincts took over and she grabbed it, and bit it.

The sudden sound of a loud thump made Romelle, Hunk, and Plaxum jump in surprise. “W-what was that noise?” Asked Romelle.

Hunk looked nervous. “W-who knows?”

“Maybe a whale or something?” Suggested Plaxum. The trio looked over to where Pidge was. She was stuck head first in the sand up to her hips with her ass sticking out. “What the heck happened?” Cried the mermaid as she ran over to help her.

“Sh-should I get a shovel?!” Asked Hunk.

Suddenly there was another loud thump and all three of them were buried up to their necks. “What the heck just happened?!” Asked Plaxum.

“I-I think My leg got pulled down somehow.” Said Romelle.

“How are we going to get out?!” Cried Hunk.

Suddenly Pidge pulled herself out of the hole and shook the sand out of her hair. “Well that was an experience… Um… You three okay there?”

“Get us out Pidge!” Cried Hunk. “Please! I have a fear of being buried alive!”

***

As this continued the creature in the water found their next target. They were easy enough to find. They found a satyr sleeping under an umbrella. With some very careful tugging and use of suction cups, they managed to put a few holes in the straps that kept her bikini in place. A perfect time delayed revenge trap. They just needed gravity to do the work when they stood up.

The next easy victim of revenge was also easy to find. They found Narti floating in their inflatable ring. The dragon had let their tail dangle down precariously in the water. The sea creature quickly grabbed her tail and yanked her down.

Narti ended up with their arms and legs stuck up in the air. They were unable to pull themselves out and they were left with flailing their limbs around in the air. _... Well… This is a predicament..._

As long as the creature stayed in the water, not even a mighty dragon like Narti could fight back. They had the upper hand, or tentacle as it were.

***

“Sitting on someone’s lap?” Asked Sendak. “That’s going a bit too far, even for an oni… Then again if you were female you’d probably be spouting off some B.S about breast milk.”

Shiro pouted as he held a very unamused and reluctant Moontwo to his chest. The poor hobbit was dead inside and wanted nothing more than the chance to escape. But that was impossible with the way Shiro was holding her. Allura was just standing between them, just happy to be there.

“Fine. Let’s settle this some other way.” He muttered.

“Also, before you went off on that lap thing, you lost the sand castle competition, right?” Asked Sendak.

“... Raising a child is a test of endurance…”

“Doesn’t matter. You lost oni.”

Shiro, not one to give up so easily, quickly grabbed a bit of driftwood and quickly drew a large circle. “Papa’s have to be strong to protect kids, right? Three person sumo. We each try to push the other outside of the circle. Last one left is the number one papa!”

Allura looked between the two and chuckled. “Three person sumo? I’m pretty sure I don’t stand a chance. I relinquish my spot in this competition.”

“Good. It’s just me and one eye.” He handed Moontow to Allura and spoke to them in a sweet voice. “Now you just wait here with Allura, and I’ll be right back darling.”

“Whatever…” They muttered. “I don’t even care at this point…” Moontow looked at Allura. “So… you’re not going to wrestle with them?”

“I don’t want to die.”

As the two titans started their sumo competition, a tentacle slithered up through the sand towards Allura and Moontow, but as soon as the sea creature realized that the two people currently wrestling were titan races, they decided against inciting their wrath and quickly retreated. They would think of something else later.

“Hey everyone!” Called Rosa. “It’s almost lunch time! Are you all hungry yet?”

Shiro and Sendak paused and glared at each other. “... One hour truce?” Asked Shiro.

“Sure.”

***

Everyone started to head over to the grill where Rosa happily had everything set up and ready to go. “We have everything under the sea here today.” She said happily as she gestured to the prawns, clams, and fish. “But today’s special is squid!” She proudly pulled up a tray and showed them. “It’s low fat, high-quality protein! It’s rich in taurine and niacin, which are said to lower your triglyceride levels and make it harder to gain weight. Perfect diet food.”

“... Now I see where Lance gets it from.” Muttered Keith.

“This looks amazing mama.” Said Lance. “You should have said something sooner and I would have come over to help you set up.”

“Nonsense. You lot looked like you were having too much fun paddle boarding.” She looked over at the group. “Do any of you know how to cook?”

Everyone looked at one another before giving the exact same answer. “No.” 

Suddenly Nyma started laughing. “I can’t believe you can’t do something so basic.” She happily picked up the knife and grabbed a squid. As she did, the trap set by the sea monster had taken effect. The weight from Nyma’s breasts coupled with the small rips in the bikini’s straps made the fabric fall right off. “Alright. Let me show you how it’s done.”

Keith sighed. “Um Nyam? Your tits are out.”

“...” Nyma dropped the knife and squid into the sand before she fainted.

“Oh dear!” Rosa quickly grabbed a towel and placed it over her. “Poor dear… I know first aid. I’ll look after her.”

“Who is gonna cook now?” Asked Plaxum.

“I can’t cut open a cute little squid…” Said Hunk.

“Hope Nyma didn’t die of shame.” Said Romelle.

“I hope she did.” Said Pidge.

Keith looked at them and frowned. “... Why are you all covered in sand?”

Allura hummed happily as she looked up at Sendak and Shiro. “I true papa would be able to cook, don’t you think?”

“Wouldn’t be a bad idea…” Said Sendak.

“I’m taking cooking lessons…” Muttered Shiro as he held Moontow just a little tighter. “I’m a good papa…”

“Kill me already…” Muttered Moontow.

The creature from the depths of the ocean was furious. This was… this was tenta-cruelty! How dare they carelessly toss away a squid after they so carelessly killed it? This would not stand! They would drag everyone down to Davy Jones’ locker!

Keith sighed and shook his head. “Well, looks like it’s up to me to save the day, again. Never liked seafood anyway.”

“You have an idea?” Asked Lance.

Keith nodded and somehow managed to pull out a huge plastic container full of fries and put them right next to the seafood. “I thought this might happen so here we go.”

“... Seriously?” Asked Lotor.

“What’s with your attitude?”

“I’m not eating those, potato gut.”

Keith shrugged. “Yeah, that’s fine. You could stand to skip a meal or two. If your ass grows any larger you’ll sink our ride back to the mainland. You-” Lotor snatched the container off the table. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Just helping you with your diet.” Said Lotor calmly as he grabbed some driftwood. He threw the container up high into the air before enhancing the driftwood and launching it at the container like a rocket. The container practically exploded sending fries everywhere.

“MY FRIES!!!”

Unbeknownst to the group, one of those fast moving fries shot out at just the right speed, force, and angle to impale the sea monster right in between its eyes. Killing it instantly before it even got a chance to attack the group. The group had no idea that Lotor just possibly saved their lives.

“WHAT THE HELL LOTOR?!” Snapped Keith.

“YOU’RE PATHETIC!” Snapped Lotor back.

Lance just shook his head. “Come on guys... Um, has anyone seen Narti?” The group quickly found Narti still floating in the ocean and helped drag her back to shore.


	155. Vulnerable (HolyHell AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some angst! Yep, you heard me! Angst! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Much to Lance’s surprise Keith actually came over to his house that night. He looked a little nervous standing in the doorway. He had brought a bottle of liquor with him. “So you actually came over?” Asked Lance.

“... Yeah? Did you not want me to?” Asked Keith. He sounded dejected. 

“No I… Just take a seat and I’ll be out in a moment.” Lance didn’t want Keith in his house just yet. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Keith, but he didn’t trust Keith. He grabbed some glasses and came out. Keith was sitting out on the porch and looked like they were kicking some stones. Unsure of how long they were going to be out there, Lance flicked on the outside light and sat by him, offering him an empty glass.

“Thanks.” Keith poured them both a glass. The glasses were small and Keith easily downed his glass in one gulp while Lance took his time.

“You must be very interesting at parties.” Mused Lance.

Keith shrugged. “Maybe. Do you even go to parties?”

“I did go to parties.” Said Lance. “Just not many as of late… So um… Were your parents always part of this biker gang?”

Keith chuckled. “Oh? You asking me about my life? Are you taking an interest in my life?”

Lance rolled his eyes and polished off his drink. He just honestly didn’t know what else to talk about with Keith. They were just so different. Being a Pastor was as different from being a biker as possible. He was just trying to be polite.

“Yeah, my parents have always been part of the gang.” Said Keith. “They took turns switching between taking care of me and going on a ride. They were good parents… Though my earliest memories I have are with my dad. Apparently my mum stayed with me the first year or so, but I was too small to remember it.”

“Hmmm, are you going to go home after this?” Asked Lance. “Krolia mentioned that your dad has broken his hips.”

“Oh, we have a few more stops before we head back.” Said Keith quickly. “He can survive without us around for a few more days. It’ll be fine… We just need to bring him a six pack and some jerky when we get back home. He likes beef jerky.”

“Huh, alright.” Lance wondered how being brought up the way Keith had might have changed and warped his world view. “So… did you always want to join the biker gang or did you have something else you wanted to do?”

Keith shook his head. “I’m going to be real with you Lance, I don’t really have much in the way of education or life skills…”

“It’s never too late to turn your life around.” Said Lance. “Sure if you have a felony, you can’t get government jobs… but you can still make something of yourself. You can start your own business if you want. You’re young, you have a lot of options… Pour me another glass?”

“Sure.” Keith poured Lance another glass. “... I guess I could do something else.”

“Yeah… Maybe start with cutting back on the alcohol?” Suggested Lance. “I know going cold turkey is practically a death sentence, but cutting back is a pretty good start?”

“I guess… Would you like me more if I cut back on my drinking?”

Lance sighed. Drinking too much was never a good thing. He didn’t know if he would like Keith more if he stopped drinking, but Keith’s liver would be very thankful if he cut back. “Keith, it doesn’t matter what I think. You should cut back for yourself. You could get alcohol poisoning or a whole bunch of other diseases.”

“I guess…” Muttered Keith. He kind of looked… sad?

“... Are you okay?” Asked Lance quietly.

“It’s nothing.” Said Keith. “... Do you really think I could be better?”

“I think everyone can be better versions of themselves if they try.” Said Lance. The sun was starting to set and he could just start to see a few stars starting to come out. Once Keith was gone Lance was going to break out his humidifier and see if he could steam his sinuses so he could breathe out his nose again.

“I’ve never really been a good kid.” Said Keith quietly. “Always been the kind of guy that people like you hate...”

“People like me?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, religious… Always found it kind of ironic that you guys usually preach love for all with no acceptions… Just as long as you’re straight, don’t do sex work, don’t drink, conform to their very specific doctrine…” He smiled a little. “I just don’t conform like that. I have problems with authority.”

“I can tell.” 

“Yeah…”

Lance took a sip of his liquor and let it sit on his tongue for a moment. “Do you want to talk about it? What it was like growing up with parents in an outlaw biker gang? Must have been kind of tough.”

Keith chuckled and smiled. “Man, what’s there to say? It was difficult, but I liked it well enough. None of them pressured me to join the gang. Everyone said I should head out and do my own thing, and I did for a while… It was okay. My dad said I should try and find my place in the world. Find someone I could fall in love with.”

“Did you?” asked Lance. “Did you fall in love with someone?”

Keith was quiet for a moment. “Yes and no… I had lots of sex if that counts? But um, I… Love is kind of a strong word… I met someone and they were really cute. Like a cute kid.”

“... A kid?”

“Not like that!” Said Keith quickly. “Fuck, I’m not a pedophile! He was just a cute kid and you know how kids speak their minds without thinking? Kid said he liked me and wanted to marry me. It was kind of weird.”

Lance sighed. He remembered being younger and wanted to marry celebrities when he was a child. Hell, his sisters wanted to marry some football players when they were tweens. As far as Lance was concerned it was fine for kids to crush on adults, it was on the adults not to act on it.

“You didn’t act on it?”

“No. No once.” Said Keith. “Sometimes I do wonder about that kid… Like, do they still like men? Are they trans? Did they have a good home life? Do they have a girlfriend? … Would they still think I’m cool now?”

Lance shrugged. “Maybe? I think you’re kind of cool”

Keith’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Well yeah? You have to admit there’s something cool about being in a biker gang.” Said Lance. “Even if you’re kind of… Well, not very law abiding… There is something nice about being out on the open road, no real laws to follow and what not… When you think about it, it’s a dream that everyone wants. The ability to go anywhere you want and do whatever you want… To not have to worry about anyone’s rules. Living by your own rules…” He sighed heavily. “Man, I wish I could do that.”

“You could.” Said Keith quietly. “You could just leave it all behind and come with me?”

Lance was surprised to hear Keith say that. He kind of expected Keith to laugh and say he was joking, but he looked dead serious. His seriousness made Lance laugh. “Oh man, can you even imagine it? The Pastor? Part of a biker gang? What’s next? I get a tattoo?”

“Why not?”

“It’s too crazy.” Said Lance. He still had huge responsibilities to the church and to the town. He had family and friends here. He couldn’t just pack it all in and go. It was crazy. Hell, even if he did go out and actually did that he doubted that he would even be able to join a biker gang like Mamora. He wasn’t like them.

“It isn’t crazy.” Said Keith. “Really. You could do it. It’s easy.”

“... Why are you so obsessed with me?”

Hearing that seemed to strike Keith hard. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish for a few seconds before he went bright red and looked away. “No reason…” He muttered. “I just… I like you is all… You’re… You’re just different and I like you… I like you a lot… But I get it, you don’t like me at all… I’m just forcing myself on you at this point…”

“Kind of are...” Muttered Lance. “Why don’t you hang around your friends in the gang?”

“Um… Well… If I’m honest a lot of the people there are assholes that either baby me because I’m the youngest.” Muttered Keith. He sighed and leaned against a post. “I get teased a lot and only really like hanging out with Shiro…”

“So you’re lonely?” Asked Lance.

“A little.” Admitted Keith. “But that’s just how it is. I can’t really change it. We move around a lot so I don’t really get to be around other people that aren’t part of the group much… So I guess I get a bit intense sometimes… I’m just used to the things I like leaving me so I just over do everything. I don’t have time to take things slowly. I see someone or something I like and I… I’m sorry for bothering you so much.”

“... You’re starting to get all emotional there Keith. Maybe you should think about heading back there to the motel?”

“... Yeah. I think you’re right. Sorry.” Keith got up and left the bottle of liquor behind. “I’ll um… I’ll stop bothering you…” He wandered away down the street towards the motel.

Lance wondered if he should have asked if he wanted a lift back to the motel. But Keith didn’t seem too smashed, so it wouldn’t be too bad, right? He sighed and went back inside. Time for him to find the humidifier. 

***

Keith felt like shit. He knew he was still producing pheromones, but Lance was still immune. Nothing was working and Keith wasn’t very good at trying to woo anyone without the aid of his succubus charms. That just left him feeling miserable and inadequate. He couldn’t believe he opened up so much to Lance and didn’t get anywhere.

And to top it all off he failed again. He didn’t bed Lance and claim him as his bride. He knew everyone was starting to get restless and wanted to move on, but they were here because of him. Which made him feel guilty. 

Whatever divine protection Lance was under was too strong for him to break. Keith knew he wasn’t a very powerful demon. But he thought for sure that he’d be able to take Lance since they had promised themselves to each other. Apparently not. Maybe he was just too young? Too weak?

When he got back to the motel he knew that Krolia would want to know how things went. Hell, he knew everyone would want to know how it went. He could already see other members of the gang looking at him and smirking at his obvious failure.

He went to the room that Kolivan seemed to like staying in. Keith was about to knock on the door when he heard Kolivan talking with Krolia and Shiro… About him.

“If he didn’t bed Lance tonight then there is something wrong with him.” Said Krolia. “He’s far more like his father than we thought… We just assumed he was more succubus since he could make a stinger.”

“We can’t stay here for too much longer.” Said Kolivan. “I was generous saying we would stay here a month, but now… Everyone wants to go.”

“Come on.” Said Shiro. “You said a month. Let Keith keep trying. It can be difficult to get a bride. It took me a year before Adam agreed to be my bride.”

“We still need to get moving.” Said Kolivan. “... If he wants to keep pursuing Lance then we will just leave him behind.”

“WHAT?!” Cried both Shiro and Krolia. 

“I can’t put Keith first just because he’s the youngest.” Said Kolivan sternly. “He is trying to get a Pastor to be his bride. This is stupid. He dug this hole himself. He has to deal with the consequences. He can’t think we’re always going to pick up his slack. He’s not a child anymore. He’s an adult. He needs to start acting like one.”

Keith felt his stomach drop. Kolivan wanted him gone because he couldn’t bed Lance? He felt like a complete failure as a demon. He didn’t want to be there and get yelled at for being a pathetic, useless, stupid demon. He knew he was terrible at this, but he was trying.

He quickly left the motel and walked down the street. Maybe he could just fake it and say he went on a date with Lance so they would think he’s making some progress? He’d probably end up sleeping in the graveyard to try and clear his head and brainstorm some ideas. However, he couldn’t help but feel like anything he tried would end in failure. He rubbed his eyes a little to try and stop himself from crying, but he still felt a few slip out.

When he looked up again he was back on Lance’s street. He could see his house. The lights were still on. Maybe Lance would let him crash in his garden if he asked nice enough? He doubted Lance would let him into his house since he didn’t before. Also, there were so many religious artifacts in his house it gave him a terrible headache.

Keith walked up to the front door and nervously knocked. A minute later Lance opened up the front door. He looked surprised and then very concerned. “Keith? Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“... I don’t want to go back to the motel tonight.” He said quietly as he tried to keep his voice steady. “Some things happened and… Can I just sleep on your lawn?”

“What?”

“I know you don’t want me in your house.” Said Keith quickly. “I just want to sleep somewhere where I don’t have to worry about someone throwing a can or bottle at me to get me to move or wake up.”

Lance looked horrified. “What?! No, you don’t have to sleep on the lawn, you can come inside. I have a fold out couch.”

“... You’re really letting me inside?”

“Yeah. Like I’d let you get assaulted by people that are meant to be your friends.” Said Lance. “Or like, your family? Wouldn’t Krolia be pissed off if someone hit you? She’s your mother.”

“... I’d rather not talk about it.”

Lance sighed a little and brought Keith in. He sat him down on the couch and told him to wait there. Keith did as he was told but just felt even more miserable. All that religious paraphernalia was already giving him a headache.

When Lance came back he had some weird sweet drink in his hands and gave it to him. “Here. Drink this.” He said. “It’s hot chocolate… Are you okay?”

Keith shrugged and took a sip of his drink. It was really sweet and tasted nice. “... Do you ever feel like a failure?” He asked quietly. “Sometimes I just feel like… Like… Like nothing you do will ever be good enough and you just want to give up?”

“... Is this about the thing you want to find in town?” Asked Lance. “Shiro said you were after something here in town. I can help you find it… Maybe… I’ll do my best.”

Keith shrugged and sipped his drink. “It doesn’t matter anymore… Maybe I should just give up? Kolivan wants to move on and I… I don’t want them to leave me behind. Should I just give up and just move on?”

Lance looked a little uncomfortable. Clearly he didn’t want to hear his problems, which made Keith feel even more guilty. Lance hated him. He didn’t like him. Keith should have just gone to the graveyard.

“I’m sorry…” Muttered Keith. “You don’t have to answer… I’m just a stupid kid…”

“Keith, you aren’t stupid.” Said Lance quietly. “You’re just… If you want to find this thing really badly, then don’t give up. It must be really important to you, right? So please do your best. You’ll be able to figure out what is best for you.”

“Okay… Thanks for the drink. It’s really sweet. I haven’t had this before.”

“Really? You haven’t had hot chocolate before?”

Keith shook his head. “No… It wasn’t something my family bought.”

“Oh… Um, the kitchen is over there and the bathroom is down the hall to the right.” Said Lance as he stood up. “Do you want me to get you some more pillows? A blanket?”

“That would be nice… Thanks… You’re too kind to me.” Said Keith quietly. “I… I really don’t deserve you being nice to me.”

Lance just smiled at him and shrugged. “Everyone deserves kindness. Even the people that don’t think they deserve it. Keith, you’re not a very nice guy. You’re rude, abrasive, grab people… But you’re a good person. Deep down inside. I want to help people in need. You’re in need so I want to help you.”

Keith could feel his heart race in his chest when he saw Lance smiling at him. “... Too nice.”

The Pastor just smiled at him and patted his back. “Just pull the couch out when you want to sleep. I’ll be back with the blanket and pillows.”

After Lance dropped off those things the Pastor retired to his room and Keith was left alone. He quickly took to turning everything around that looked religious in general to try and alleviate his headache. It kind of worked. He could have gone and tried to do the dream thing to Lance again, but he felt too tired and was too miserable. He just kicked off his shoes and curled up on the couch. Didn’t even bother pulling the couch out either.

Keith just wanted to wallow in his own misery. For the first time in a long time Keith had some time to reflect on his actions. Lance was too good for him. He was a Pastor and Keith was gutter trash. He was just some stupid demon that couldn’t even claim his bride.

He took off his glove and looked down at the matching scar on his ring finger. Keith had been genuinely excited to see Lance all grown up. He had always said he didn’t care what Lance looked like or what he had done with his life. Lance was his bride and he was going to love him no matter what… He just didn’t expect Lance to be so much better and holier than he was. If he was honest, he was scared that Lance would completely reject him when he found out the truth about why he was here.

Keith hugged his pillow close and tried very hard not to cry too much at how horrible and pathetic he was. He was a failure as a demon. He didn’t think Lance would ever love him in any way other than the superficial “love thy neighbour” kind of way. Maybe he should just give up on Lance? Move on? Find someone else that isn’t so heavily related to religion? He didn’t want to, but nothing was changing. He didn’t want to get left behind if he knew Lance was too good to fall for him. 

***

Lance’s heart was beating in his chest like crazy. He let Keith into his house. He actually let Keith in. Why? How? Did all his self preservation get thrown to the wind? This was the guy that grabbed him in his car… but he was also the guy that admitted he was lonely and was getting abused by the people he was closest to.

Normally Lance would have called the shelter for battered women, but there were two problems with that, the closest shelter was in the next town over and it was a women’s shelter. The only men they took in were children accompanied by their parents. They wouldn’t take Keith in even if he was begging for help. The world really needed to start acknowledging that men are victims of domestic abuse too.

Maybe that’s why Keith was so attached to him? Because Lance was completely the opposite to his family? He was kind, gentle, and when he said no to Keith he didn’t follow it up with a bottle to his head? Lance quickly shook his head at those thoughts. He didn’t want to assume anything. He wasn’t a psychiatrist.

He’d just do what he thought was right. He would give Keith shelter for tonight and talk to him about his options tomorrow over breakfast, or after breakfast. Lance wanted Keith to be happy. Lance shook his head and quickly blew his nose before he went to bed. He could kind of breathe out his nose again.


	156. Guilt (Witch AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another angsty chapter, but it's got a much more happy ending. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was kind of confused. When Lance and his family went to sleep that night, his papa and mama obviously shared a bed while everyone else shared the sandy room with Lance and Keith, but Keith wasn’t there. He said he wanted to do a fire wicche ritual that could only be done at night, but he had never mentioned it before.

So there Lance was, in his seal form, squished between Marco and Veronica. Rachel had squicked herself in the corner and Luis and Lisa were lying with their children huddled between them. He sighed a little as he scratched his stomach with his flippers.

He wanted to see Keith. Keith was out there on the beach, alone, doing stuff. He sighed and wriggled out of his skin. He very carefully looked around to make sure that no one else was awake and he very carefully sneaked out of the house. He saw a fire burning far away along the edge of the beach, close to the cliff.

Lance tied his seal skin around his body and made his way over to it. He found Keith sleeping by the fire. Not doing his supposed ritual. He pouted and sat near him. He didn’t understand why Keith didn’t come back when he was sleepy. Did he not like his family? He thought that Keith was getting along pretty well with his family.

Keith kind of looked pretty with his face dancing in the firelight. His skin was really pale, but he was still so warm. He liked that warmth. Lance reached over and gently shook Keith’s arm. “Keith? Are you okay?”

The wicche jumped a little in surprise and looked up at Lance. He let out a quick sigh of relief. “Oh, it’s just you…”

“Yeah, of course it’s just me.” He sat down next to Keith as he sat up. “Why are you out here?”

“... Ritual stuff.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…”

“What kind of ritual?”

“Just… fire stuff…”

“Do you not like my pod?”

Keith looked at Lance in confusion. “What? Why would you say that?”

“You didn’t come to bed…”

The man sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, it isn’t that I don’t like your family, I think they are really cool… You’re lucky having such a big, loving family and I don’t want to get in the way of you guys having family time…” He picked up a stick and poked at the fire. “Do you prefer living in the ocean?”

“Well yeah, of course I do.” Said Lance. “I’m a selkie. The ocean is my own.”

“I thought as much…” Muttered Keith. He let out a frustrated groan. “Look, do you want you to keep being my familiar or you want to stay with your family? Family is important and I don’t want to keep you away from them.”

“... I like being your familiar.” Said Lance quietly. “I made the choice to be here. I want to be here… Have you been talking to my mama?”

“No… She hates me, doesn’t she?” Asked Keith quietly. He looked defeated. Which really upset Lance.

“Well don’t listen to her! I want to be your familiar! I like being your familiar! You make me really happy and you’re showing me all kinds of cool land stuff! You’re making me as comfortable as possible! I want to stay with you!”

“But you don’t have to stay with me!” Said Keith quickly. “You’re a higher, more intelligent magical creature than most… If you don’t like me, you can just leave me if you want to… And let’s face it, you’re just with me because of a spell, a spell that you are weak to… I’ll be fine if you want to go back to the sea with your family. I completely understand. I’m used to being alone.”

Lance hugged Keith tightly, making him flail slightly at the sudden movement. “Keith… Don’t try and tell me what I need to do. I’ve been told what I need to do my whole life… Don’t take your seal skin off, stay away from humans, leave the sharks alone, never go onto the mainland, stay in your seal skin when humans are around… I made this decision myself.”

“... Aren’t I meant to be telling you what to do anyway?” Asked Keith quietly. “I’m technically your master…”

“Yeah, but we are talking about my feelings now.” Whined Lance. “I just want everyone to treat me like an adult for once… Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I can’t make choices on my own…”

Keith was quiet for a moment before he sighed and peeled himself away from Lance. “You smell like fish…”

“I know I do…”

“You can make your own choices…” Said Keith. “I just don’t want you to choose me over your family… Family is more important than being a familiar to a wicche...”

“... Can you get another familiar?” Asked Lance quietly.

Keith was silent for a moment before he nodded. “Yes, but it’s complicated… When a wicche summons a familiar it’s meant to be for life… If our familiar dies then we can summon another one but our manna is affected by the death of our familiar… If we cause their death our manna can become tainted and we’re less likely to get a familiar that really works well with us. If they died saving us or a peaceful death, then we might attract a more powerful familiar next time…”

“And if your familiar just leaves?”

“...”

“Keith?”

“Then I just don’t get to have another familiar until you pass away.” Said Keith quietly. “If I try to summon another one then I would summon you again… But it’s okay. If you want to stay with your family, I am good at being alone. I’m used to it… I can get a dog or something…”

Lance was kind of shocked. He didn’t understand why Keith was so adamant about him going back with his pod. “But if I go back with them, then you’ll be all alone, right?”

Keith shrugged. “It’s fine. Really…” 

There seemed to be more to what Keith was saying then he was letting on. Lance wanted to know. “Keith… You know you can tell me, right? I’m your familiar. I want to be able to help you any way I can. Not just with spells. I want to help you smile. Share things with me…”

“...” Keith poked at the fire a few times with a stick. “When I first met Shiro and Adam… I didn’t really know much about familiars before I became a wicche. I kind of just thought that I would end up living in some tower somewhere… I didn’t really know how to get a familiar. I just thought that I would just randomly find an animal and just ask them to be my familiar… I didn’t learn about the familiar spell until my second year of study. I was surprised and kind of happy, but mostly scared…”

“Scared? Why?”

“I’m an orphan, and used to be a thief.” Said Keith. “I was worried that my manna would be bad and I’d either only attract something like an ant or… nothing at all… But Shiro did help me out with that. Apparently manna is more affected by emotions and intent. I stole so I wouldn’t die. I didn’t do it because I was greedy or wanted to. I did it because I had to survive...” He sighed sadly.

Lance frowned and held Keith’s hand, gently squeezing. “Keith… You’re not a bad person. Your manna was really warm and comforting.”

“Well it is now.” Said Keith. “But when I was younger… I was really worried that no one would want to be my familiar, but I was still excited by the idea that something out there might actually want to be my familiar… I don’t know…” He sighed and waved the stick through the flames and created a small fire snake curl and follow the stick. “But now I have you and… I didn’t want to pull anyone away from their family… I thought that my familiar would have been a wild animal, not someone with a family.”

“Keith… Are you disappointed in me?”

The wicche shook his head. “No I’m not disappointed in you at all. I was more surprised than anything… I’m happy that you’re my familiar. Would have been hard to help you up the hill all the time if you didn’t have legs.” They both had a good chuckle about that.

Lance smiled at Keith and gently squeezed his hand. “Keith… I’m happy that you’re my master, or whatever you want to call it. I love my pod, and yeah, I haven’t heard many good things about wicches, or humans for that matter, but my papa is a good person, and he’s human. I’m more than willing to give humans a chance… And what I have seen with the way Shiro and Adam interact they are like a pod too… So, I consider us our own little pod too.”

“Are you sure?” Asked Keith. “I… I don’t want you to be forced into this… I don’t want to force anyone to do what they don’t want to do. I-”

Lance was tired of his rambling, so he pulled his seal skin on and gracefully flopped on top of him. Keith flailed and attempted to push Lance off of himself, but Lance was not having it. He was done with this conversation. He didn’t want Keith to feel guilty about him being his familiar. He didn’t want Keith to feel like he had taken him away from his family. He hadn’t. Lance wanted to be there. He wished that someone would believe that he wanted to be with him. Well, time for distractions.

***

Keith was getting crushed to death by Lance. He was one hell of a heavy seal. Then again, all seals were pretty freaking heavy. He felt like Lance was trying to squeeze his insides out. He managed to shuffle mostly out from under the selkie, but his legs were still trapped. At least he could breathe now.

He leavered himself up onto his elbows and looked down and the grumpy seal that was resting his head on his stomach. Lance huffed and snapped at him when Keith tried to push him off. It looked like he was stuck with Lance for the moment.

“You’re an asshole. You know that right?”

“Brragh!”

“Why are you so heavy?”

Lance’s jaw dropped in shock. “Arrr? Brrra! Arragh raah barrragh!”

Keith couldn’t help but smirk. “What? You don’t like being called heavy? Well you are, You’re a heavy, but I guess you’re not heavy for a seal.”

Lance huffed some more and decided to bite the front of Keith’s robes. “Gragh!”

Keith rolled his eyes and lightly slapped his forehead. “Well you are. No point in trying to hide that you’re fat.”

Lance continued to huff, puffed and nibbled on his robe some more. He still looked kind of mad about being called fat, but he didn’t look too upset by it. He almost had a playful glint in his eyes. He tugged one more time on his robes before he seemingly gave up and rested his head on Keith’s stomach again.

Keith sighed and flopped back onto the sand. He looked up at the stars. There were so many… Keith himself was never good at astrology and didn’t know much in the way of that stuff. Most of it was fortune telling stuff and personality readings.

“Lance?”

“Braaap?”

“... If you really still want to be my familiar, I’m okay with that… But if you ever want to go back to the sea I’ll understand.”

“... Meerp…” Lance suddenly wriggled up Keith’s body and started to crush him again.

“Ack! Okay! I get it! You want to do this! Stop trying to crush me!”

“Brap!”

Keith sighed and patted Lance’s head. “I get it. I’ll stop talking about it. Just… Let me feel my legs again… Please…”

Lance glared at him for a moment before he rolled off of Keith’s legs. “Meerph…”

Keith groaned a little as he stretched his legs and tried to get the feeling back into his legs. They were all tingly now. He looked down at Lance, who was looking up at him. He sighed a little and gave Lance a few pats. The seal made some very happy sounds and snuggled closer to him. It made Keith smile. If Lance decided to go back to the ocean someday he would probably miss just being around the selkie like this a lot.

He picked up a stick and made another fire snake with the flames. That seemed to catch Lance’s interest and he noticed that the selkie’s face was following the movement of the snake. It gave him an idea. He quickly flicked his wrist and the snake changed form into a bird. Lance let out a surprised gasp and made excited sounds.

“You like that, huh?” Asked Keith. “What about… This?” He changed the shape of the bird into a starfish and then a shell. He gauged Lance’s excitement by how quickly he would slap the sand with his flippers. He really seemed to like it when he made an octopus. 

Keith then had a go at making a seal. He then made it roll around from right to left, and made it shrink into a ball and made it go long again. Just like he had seen Lance do some many times. It seemed to give Lance a lot of joy to see it. So Keith spent most of the night making little flame animals for Lance until they both got tired and fell asleep on the beach.


	157. Double knots (Royal AU XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hee hee hee... Hope you all enjoy this one... You know what's coming. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance almost regretted teaching Yurak about kisses. Everyday when Lance woke up Yurak would quickly kiss him. Mostly on the cheek, but it had quickly progressed to actually kissing each other on the lips. He knew that it was meant to be a scenting thing, but Lance was still enjoying it.

What he wasn’t enjoying, was that Yurak had fangs. His fangs tended to bump up against, and catch his lips. It hurt a little, and he felt that it was made worse because Yurak pulled back a bit too quickly. But if that was the worst, then Lance didn’t really mind.

Something that Lance didn’t really expect to come from Yurak scenting him, was that the servants in Yurak’s house kept giving him odd looks. Some of amusement, some of mild confusion, and sometimes disgust. The disgust hurt the most. He knew not all Galra would like him being around, but maybe they were horrified by the fact that Yurak was courting him?

It made him wonder about what his family would think about his relationship with Yurak. Some of them would probably be horrified with him. The Galra had been their enemy for so long… Lance didn’t know what to think about that. They weren’t enemies anymore, and he knew that Yurak was taking their courting seriously so he was too.

He thought about this a lot as he looked out the window. As he did so, a maid came over to him with a tea try. “Would you like something to drink?” She asked.

Lance smiled and nodded. “Yes please. Thank you.” 

She happily put the tray in front of him and smiled. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Something to eat? Some literature?”

Lance thought for a moment. “Um… Okay, this is going to sound weird but I want to know what you guys think of Alteans… Like, I know our species have been kind of…”

“Is this about your courting with the Duke?” She asked.

Lance nodded. “Yeah, I’m taking this courting seriously… But um, do you guys think poorly about Alteans and Galra being together?”

She shrugged. “I honestly have no strong feeling one way or the other. Love is love, right? Some of the older Galra might not like it because they are a lot more stubborn, but hey, these things happen… They might be a little more unhappy about how the Duke is royalty and you’re… You’re a jester. It might be a class thing?”

“It might be…” Muttered Lance. He sighed loudly and leaned back in his chair. “I… I just worry about these things, you know? Like, I do like Yurak and I do enjoy courting him, but yeah… he does have a high status among Galra… So I… I’m not too sure how the political system works here, so, you know…”

The maid nodded and hummed a little to themselves as they thought it over. “Well, I think you’re fine. The Duke really likes you, and if anyone wishes to say anything against you he will fight them off. So don’t worry about it. Just do what comes naturally. While courting is the way we do things here, it isn’t the only way. Just do what comes naturally. Okay?” 

Lance was a little surprised to hear her say that, but nodded. “Okay. Thank you for the advice.”

“No problem.” She gave him a little bow and happily headed out of the room.

Lance drank some tea and thought over what she had said. They were trying to find a balance between courting and doing what comes naturally anyway… Maybe he could try and push just a little bit more? Nothing too extreme just… He was touch starved and wanted more… Fuck it, he was going to get some more.

***

Shiro kept muttering apologies to Adam as he carefully pressed a healing plaster onto his back. Things had gotten a little… spicy in the bedroom the previous evening. It was fun while it lasted, but Shiro did end up scratching Adam’s back, again.

“I am going to pull out your damn claws.” Grumbled Adam.

“Sorry…”

“Tie your hands behind your back.” He muttered.

“... I wouldn’t mind getting tied up.”

“Good. I’m going to muzzle you too.”

“Kinky.” Shiro’s datapad started to ding. It was from Yurak. “One second.” He quickly answered the call. “Hello?”

 _“Hey, can we talk for a bit?”_ Asked Yurak. He seemed a little nervous.

Shiro looked over at Adam who made a gesture that he would keep his mouth shut. “Sure. Go ahead. What’s on your mind?”

Yurak sighed. _“Well, it’s Lance… Things are going well. Like, really well. He’s respecting my boundaries and all that stuff, but um…”_

“Is he pushing you too much?” Asked Shiro.

Yurak quickly shook his head. _“No. He isn’t pushing me. He’s letting me scent him everyday by um… using the scent glands on our face.”_

“Oh?” Shiro was surprised to hear that. But was very happy with how things were moving with Lance and Yurak’s relationship. They seemed like a nice fit for each other. They seemed to balance each other out. Which was good. Yurak needed someone to help mellow him out. The poor Duke was a little high strung. 

_“Yeah… So here is my problem…”_ Muttered Yurak. _“I kind of want to move things along a little more. Like, speed them up, but I set a slow pace… I was just kind of nervous before since I haven’t really been in any relationship like this before… How did you speed things up with Adam?”_

“Well, you see-”

“He bent me over a table and ate me out.” Said Adam. Shiro shot him a dirty look while Yurak let out a horrified noise. Obviously embarrassed that Adam had overheard him talking about his relationship troubles. “What? It’s true.” Adam grabbed the datapad and sat in Shiro’s lap. “Alright, so you two are still courting and stuff right?”

 _“Y-yes.”_ Squeaked Yurak. _“Why are you covered in bandages?”_

“Galra claws fucking suck.” Grumbled Adam. “Be really careful. Anyway, if you want my advice, life is too short for courting. Fuck courting. Some of the stuff is nice, but don’t follow it to the letter. That is just bullshit and annoying. Just do what comes naturally. You’re not going to feel more confident because you two danced around some random flowerpole with reptilian skins around your dicks.”

_“We don’t do-”_

“I know you don’t do that, but you get my point.” Said Adam calmly. “Courting is good, but it’s very arbitrary. If you two love each other then you can ignore the courting and get to the fun stuff. Like me and Shiro did.” He leaned up and kissed Shiro’s chin. It made Shiro purr a little. Altean kisses were so sweet and pure. They had no need to kiss since they had no scent glands, but they did it anyway.

 _“I see…”_ Muttered Yurak. He still seemed a little conflicted. _“So, Lance won’t get mad at me for wanting to speed things up a little more?”_

“If anything he’ll be very happy.” Said Adam with a grin. “Altean’s would have normally gone all the way a few times already. I’m actually very surprised that Lance has lasted this long… He must really, really like you. Normally if things go too slow for an Altean, we just move on. He really loves you.”

Yurak’s fur puffed up a little and he smiled. _“Yeah, he really does… Thank you for the advice. I’ll um… Let you two get back to whatever you’re doing… Bye.”_ Yurak quickly ended the call and Adam put Shiro’s datapad back in the charging port.

“There. Advice given.” Said Adam. He got off of Shiro’s lap and lifted one of his legs, showing off the scratch marks on the inner and back of his thigh. “Bandage it up purple boy.”

“Yes sir.” Said Shiro in a joking manner as he happily bandaged him up.

“Good boy.” Muttered Adam. “Next time I’m topping.”

Shiro’s tail swished slightly in excitement. Altean’s were so small compared to Galra. He’d love to see how Adam would subdue him and get him to submit to him. He loved his feisty little Altean.

“Of course.”

***

That evening when they went to bed and Yurak kissed him to scent him, Lance wrapped his arms around his lover’s neck and held him close so he couldn’t quickly pull away. Much to his surprise, Yurak purred and pushed himself a little closer to Lance and Lance was positively melting at the attention.

When they pulled away, Lance licked his lips and looked up at Yurak. His ears were twitching slightly as he looked down at him. It made Lance grin. “Are you trying to hold yourself back?”

“M-maybe a little…” Admitted Yurak. “You’re… You’re very seductive…”

“Speak for yourself.” Said Lance as he ran his hand down Yurak’s chest. It was so soft. “I want to go further… Please…”

“I… I want to too, but… Courting…”

“Courting is just some concept that we made up…” Said Lance quietly. “We can keep going. I know you want to take things slowly, but I really think we can just go with the flow and have fun. Right? It doesn’t have to be serious. We can just have a bit of fun touching each other. We don’t have to go all the way.”

Yurak seemed a little unsure, but he nodded. “Yeah. I want to touch you too… I’m just worried about going too far and maybe hurting you…”

“Why would you hurt me?”

“My claws.” Said Yurak. “I’m kind of worried that I will scratch you… Altean’s are kind of fragile… I’ve been talking to Shiro about it since Adam came here and-”

“Wait, Adam is here?”

Yurak nodded. “Yeah. I called Shiro up earlier and um… Adam was there… He was a lot more informative considering he is an Altean.”

Lance chuckled. “Of course he was.” He happily kissed Yurak again. “Tell you what, if I tell you to stop, then you stop. Okay? And I’ll do the same for you. Sound good to you?”

Yurak seemed surprised for a moment before he smiled adoringly down at him and lightly nuzzled his neck. “Yeah. Sounds good to me.” Yurak’s hands quickly found Lance’s chest and hips. It felt so nice to have his hands on his body. Yurak was a lot larger than him and well, at this rate Lance was pretty sure he had some kind of size kink… Maybe it was more of an Altean thing?

The Altran ran his hand down the Galra’s chest, gently placing his hand over his stomach. He felt Yurak’s stomach quiver a little. Lance suddenly had an idea. He very gently and carefully managed to maneuver themselves around so he was straddling Yurak’s hips. The Galra seemed a little curious as to what Lance was up to.

Lance smiled down at him. “Do you trust me?”

“Well, you’re the more experienced one here.” Said Yurak quietly. “... If I tell you to stop, you’ll stop, right?”

“Yep.” Said Lance happily. “Consent is very important for Alteans. Sure we do prod a little bit to test our boundaries with each other, but if our partner says no, then we stop. You feel me?”

“Yeah, I get it.” Yurak ran his hands over Lance’s thighs. He seemed a little hesitant still. It was kind of adorable.

Lance wriggled down until he felt a small bump against his backside. Yurak gripped Lance’s thighs a little tighter. “Still okay?”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Lance smiled and slowly started to move his hips in a small circular motion. Yurak let out a small surprised gasp. That made Lance grin and he added some more pressure. “What? Have you not touched yourself down here before?”

“I-I have…” Said Yurak in an almost defensive tone. “I just… Don’t do it that often… I guess Galra might not have the same sex drive as Alteans… Or maybe it’s just me.”

He shrugged. “Maybe… Wanna show me how you touch yourself?”

“W-what?”

“Well, it might be a little more comfortable for you to do it yourself.” Suggested Lance. “Plus if I watch you I’ll figure out what you like and be able to do it to you later.”

Yurak looked up at Lance and sighed heavily. “Should I just show you some pornography?”

“Pronography later. Masturbate now.” Said Lance as he shuffled back further until he slipped between Yurak’s legs. He got on his knees and did a little striptease for him. His sleep wear wasn’t much anyway. Just a slightly oversized shirt and his undergarments. He felt Yurak’s leg snake around Lance’s ankle and lightly squeezed.

It made Lance grin a little as he very, very slowly pulled down his undergarments. Yurak seemed to be watching him intently. Which Lance absolutely loved. Yeah, he was an attention whore that loved being the center of attention. It was one of the many reasons he liked being a jester. When he walked into the room everyone paid attention to him and only him.

When he pushed his undergarments off he looked up at Yurak and smiled. “Like what you see?”

Yurak nodded wordlessly and sat up. He gently touched over Lance’s stomach, thighs, and hips. He seemed a little confused by Lance’s anatomy, but wasn’t disgusted or repulsed. It seemed like he just didn’t know what to make of it.

“Huh…”

“Huh?”

“It’s different, but not that different…” Mused Yurak.

Lance chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, this stuff kind of happens between species. Now show me what you look like.”

Yurak still seemed a little hesitant, but removed his pants and undergarments. Lance was a little surprised to see that Yurak was more like a hunting hound. It was sheathed, but because of his grinding earlier, he could see the tip of something red just poking out. He seemed embarrassed by this and put his hands over his face.

“Y-yeah…” He muttered quietly. “So um… Yeah… This is what I look like…”

“It’s a little different, but not so bad.” Said Lance. “Easy enough to work with if you want to keep going. Do you want to keep going?”

“... Yes.”

“... Do you want to touch me?”

“Yes…” He reached out to touch Lance, but still seemed hesitant to actually do so. Lance quickly took Yurak’s wrist and pressed his hand against his chest, lowering it a little to his stomach. “Oh… You’re so smooth.”

“And you’re fluffy.” Said Lance with a grin. “I like it. Do you like how I feel?”

Yurak nodded. “Yeah, I do.” He moved his hands across Lance’s skin. He gently rubbed his thumbs over the small dips and bumps that defined Lance’s physique. Yurak made a deep purring noise. He seemed very satisfied with Lance’s body. Just getting touching like this was one of the more wildly intimate things Lance had done with someone. He really loved this Galra.

Lance smiled and gently put his hands on Yurak’s chest, slowly moving them down his body while he moved closer to him. “If you want to see me touch myself, you gotta give me some lube. Do you have any kind of lubrication?”

“Y-yeah.” Yurak turned his head and reached over to grab a bottle of green gel out of their night stand and handed it over. “Here.”

Lance took it and dabbed a little bit of it on his wrist to see if he was allergic to it. No bumps or blisters. Seemed safe enough. He happily moved around so he was sitting in Yurak’s lap, and happily pressed his back up against Yurak’s stomach.

“W-what are you doing?” Asked the Galra.

Lance just chuckled and looked up at him and grinned. “Just watch me and enjoy yourself. I’ll be able to tell if you like what you see.” He happily made himself comfortable and squirted some lube onto his hands. With confidence, Lance happily spread his legs and started to stroke his cock while he started to finger himself.

He let his eyes flutter shut as he tilted his head back and shamelessly moaned. Lance instantly felt Yurak’s cock twitch in interest as his hands grabbed hold of his sides. The Galra let out a slight rumble as he leaned forward a little to get a better look at what Lance was doing.

If Lance said he was embarrassed by Yurak looking at him, then he would be lying. Lance was too much of an attention whore to care. He loved it when he had undivided attention on him. Especially when it was a lover, and Yurak. Just imagining what Yurak would do to him made Lance shudder. 

He managed to work a second finger into himself when his legs slipped slightly on the sheets. Yurak quickly caught his legs and wrapped his hands around his thighs. “Is-is this okay?” He asked in a horse voice.

Lance nodded slightly as he looked up at Yurak. That Galra’s eyes were already clouded with lust and he could tell he was struggling to keep his own hips still by the way he seemed to be nervously shifting and lightly grinding behind him.

“Y-yeah.” Panted Lance. “Just… hold my legs a little wider and higher up. Yeah?”

“Like this?” Yurak complied with Lance’s wishes. From this new angle it was a lot easier for Lance to finger himself and reach just deep enough to rub the tips of his fingers against his prostate.

“Fuck…” Moaned Lance. “Yeah, that’s so fucking good Yurak. Just like that…” Lance quickly worked a third and fourth finger into himself. He felt so close to reaching orgasim already. Just a little bit more.

“L-Lance…” Whimpered Yurak. “P-please I… I want to… I want to fuck you… Please…”

It had been a while Lance had made anyone desperate enough to beg for him. How could he possibly deny Yurak when he had been so good so far? Lance pulled Yurak down into a quick kiss and whispered breathlessly into his ear. “Wreck me.”

In an instant Lance had been flipped over and around. He was face down in the pillows while his hips were roughly pulled into the air by Yurak. Before Lance could make any snarky quip about getting manhandled he felt the tip of Yurak’s cock easily push past the well prepared ring of muscle. All words died on Lance’s tongue as he felt Yurak slowly sink deeper and deeper into his body. Galra’s certainly much longer and thicker than the average Altean. The only way Lance would normally be able to feel this full was if he used a toy.

“F-fuck!” He managed to choke out. “You just don’t stop, do you?”

He felt Yurak’s chest press against his back as he was finally completely pressed flush against Lance’s hips. He let out a deep, satisfied purr. “Don’t tell me you can’t take it after you’ve been trying to get into my pants since we first met.”

“N-not since then.” Gasped Lance as he squirmed under him. “Y-you were too uptight and I w-wanted to mess with you.”

“And now I get to mess with you.” Purred Yurak. He quickly pulled out before sinking back in. Yurak’s cock easily rubbed over Lance’s prostate. 

It felt amazing. He didn’t know if he was yelling words, or if he was just making noise. He was pretty sure it was just noise. After some particularly hard thrusts Lance felt something pressing up against his already strained hole. Yurak growled and thrust forward particularly hard. Lance cried out and came hard when he felt something much thicker than Yurak’s cock filling him. He felt boneless as he felt Yurak empty himself inside. 

But Yurak didn’t stop. He held Lance’s hips tighter and started to grind hard against him until Lance felt a much larger, thicker mass pressing up against him. With a deep, animalistic growl, Yurak pulled harder and Lance’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as he felt Yurak’s second knot fill him. When he did, Yurak came again.

Yurak collapsed on top of him and the two stayed still, breathing heavily for a moment before Yurak rolled onto his back, taking Lance with him. Lance still felt completely boneless and was completely powerless to stop Yurak for doing whatever he wanted to.

“Right…” Panted Lance. “Double knots…”

“Yeah.”

“We’re stuck for a few vargas now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Fun.” Lance gently pressed his hand down against his stomach and both groaned slightly. Lance tilted his head back to look up at Yurak. He looked so sexy after getting thoroughly fucked. It made him grin. “So This means we’re a thing now, right?”

Yurak hummed a little and nodded. “Yeah… Keith.”

“Hmm?”

“When we’re alone you can call me Keith.” Said Yurak.

“Huh?”

“... Remember what I said about Galra having a few different names?” Asked Yurak. “We have a secret name, that only our lovers are meant to know… My secret name is Keith… I want you to call me that.”

“...” Lance was too lazy to try and pull Yurak down to kiss him, so he just pulled his lover’s hand up to his face and gently kissed the back of his hand. “I’ll call you whatever you want me to, Keith.”

Saying that name seemed to have an immediate effect on Yurak. He wrapped his arms protectively around Lance and started purring so loudly that it made Lance’s whole body shake. It was cute and made Lance feel loved.


	158. Danger noodles (Modern fantasy AU XXIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love noodles? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

One evening when the weather started to warm up, Keith and Lance went on a power walk around the park. Lance was glad that Keith had taken the initiative today and actually suggested it himself. It was one of the first times he had done so. Lance was really proud of him.

“We’re making pretty good time today.” Said Lance. “You aren’t getting tired yet Keith?”

“Nah, I’m good.” Said Keith. “I can even whistle while we walk.”

Lance chuckled. “Well that’s good to hear. We have about 15 minutes left before we’re done. Let’s finish strong.”

“Fuck yeah.” Suddenly the streetlights came on and started to emit a low buzzing sound that made Keith jump. “What’s that sound?”

“Huh? Oh the buzzing? Don’t worry about it. In this world, a sound like that isn’t uncommon at night.” Said Lance as they rounded a corner in the direction of home. “My sister used to be a real pain about that and used my fear of snakes against me. She used to say it wasn’t buzzing, it was hissing and a big snake was going to come out of the night and get me.”

“Which sister?”

“Rachel.”

“Ah… Who’s that?” Up ahead of the, standing under a streetlight was an extremely curvy woman. Her hair was tied in a high ponytail that almost reached her knees. She had a concerned look on her face as she adjusted her extremely thick glasses (almost as thick as her thighs) and looked at a map. “Oh, a lost child.”

“Is everyone a child to you?” Asked Lance.

“I’m over two hundred years old.”

“... Fair enough.” Lance looked at the woman and frowned. “She might be a tourist? Let’s see if she needs any help.” He approached the woman. “Excuse me, miss?”

“AH!” The woman quickly spun around. “Y-You scared me!”

“Sorry!” Said Lance quickly. “We didn’t mean to sneak up on you!”

“You looked lost.” Said Keith. “So we thought we’d see if you needed help.”

The woman’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Really? I could actually use your help, if it isn’t too much trouble.” She showed them her map. It had several yellow dots all over it with many of them crossed out. “I’m looking for a specific ramen shop around here, but I can’t find it. I've walked all over, but no luck.”

“Must be one of those hole in the wall places…” Said Lance as he looked at the map. He saw the street they were on and the closest yellow dot. “Oh! You want to go to this ramen shop here? I actually know where this place is. My brother and his wife went there the other day. It’s actually pretty close to here and on the way back home too. Keith and I can take you there if you like?”

“Really?! Thank you so much!”

“Is that okay with you, Keith?”

Keith shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

It was a ten minute walk for the trio to get to a place called Super Sprout ramen. If you weren’t looking for it you would have completely missed it. It was right on the edge of the hipster part of the city. Keith didn’t seem too impressed by its outward appearance, but the woman looked very excited.

“Finally! I’m here!”

“Glad we could help you.” Said Lance.

The woman grinned. “Yeah, I’ve eaten a ton of ramen since I got here, so I thought I’d try something out of the ordinary!”

“What’s so special about this place?” Asked Keith.

“It’s 100% vegetarian!” Said the woman with glee. “I’ve eaten all kinds of ramen; beef, pork, chicken, seafood, but never vegetarian! I’m so pumped up to try some of the unique flavours only a vegetarian ramen can give me!” She happily shook their hands. “Thank you both so much! I never would have found this place without you two! I owe you one!”

Lance couldn’t help but smile. Seeing someone so passionate about something like that was so cute. “No problem. Enjoy your ramen.”

The woman happily went into the shop while Keith and Lance started to head home. On the way back, Keith’s stomach started to rumble. “Hey, Lance? What’s for dinner?”

“Well, since you’re still learning about eating a well balanced diet it’s going to be well portioned servings of fiber, protein, and starches.”

Keith glared at Lance. “You could just say salad, meatballs and pasta.”

Lance shrugged. “Where’s the fun in that? Besides, you don’t know it’s beef patties… Do you remember any of the stuff I told you about eating food and digestion?”

Keith nodded. “Yep. Eat the salad first because it’s where the fiber is at. Then you eat the protein. Pasta is starch so it gets eaten last. You gotta chew slowly and thoroughly. Saving the starch for last reduces sudden spikes in blood sugar, so only the necessary amount of insulin is secreted, and it’s harder for the sugar to be converted to fat.”

Lance was extremely impressed. “Wow, I’m actually surprised you remembered that. Good job Keith, I’m proud of you.”

“... Yeah… Thanks…” Keith sighed heavily and suddenly looked rather unhappy. Which concerned Lance quite a bit.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Oh, it’s nothing… Just… Just thinking about that woman and her quest to find her favourite food… It just reminded me of when I first came here and went on my quest to find french fries. It was like a flashback.”

“Oh… I see…” Lance frowned as he thought about this. 

Keith had been on top of his diet lately, and as far as lance knew, the elf wasn’t storing or hiding any fries around the house. However, if Keith kept thinking and daydreaming about fries like he was now, he could potentially rebound or start binge eating in secret. Lately, Keith’s weight loss had slowed down a lot. He needed to do something to both keep the elf on track while sasiating his lust for fried potatoes.

“... Hey Keith? How about tomorrow we’ll eat whatever we want, as much as we want?”

Keith stopped in his tracks and looked at Lance like he had just turned inside out. “What?! Are you serious?!”

Lance nodded. “Yep. It’s called a cheat day.”

“A cheat day?”

“That’s right, as you continue your diet, burning fat becomes harder and your weight loss starts to slow down.” Explained Lance. “When your caloric intake drops due to dieting or other causes, the body adapts to this deficit. The body misinterprets this as starvation, and the homeostatic mechanism works to make it harder to lose any more weight. So we introduce a cheat day once every 1-2 weeks. By planning a day where you eat up to 3 times your basal metabolism, which is the amount of calories your body consumes in a day, you correct this misinterpretation and get the body to burn more calories again.” He said. “Sudden changes in eating habits can take a toll on your body, so please exercise caution.”

Keith slowly nodded as he took this in. “So what you’re saying is… I can eat a lifetime supply of french fries tomorrow and you can’t bitch and complain about it?!”

“That’s not what… You weren’t listening to me at all…” Muttered Lance. Keith grabbed Lance’s arm and started to run back to the house. “Hey! What are you doing?!”

“Tomorrow can’t come soon enough!” Said Keith. “We have to get home so we can sleep!”

“What about dinner?!”

“Fuck dinner! I need room for fries!”

“You still need to exercise self control!”

“Bring on the potatoes!”

***

The next day the two of them were sitting at B.B Burger. Keith was happily eating his fifth large fries. He looked so happy being able to eat as many fries as he wanted. Lance couldn’t help but smile a little. Despite him wanting Keith to eat healthier he didn’t want the elf to be completely put off of junk food. He just wanted Keith to have a healthy relationship with junk food. It was all about moderation and restraint.

“You’re not eating anything?” Asked Keith between shoveling some more fries into his face.

Lance shrugged. “Maybe some other time… I think you’ve had enough fries for now.”

Keith looked betrayed. “Hey?! You said I could eat as much as I wanted today!”

“Whoa, that’s not what I meant!” Said Lance quickly. “I actually wanted to go somewhere else to eat. I was just wondering if you’d like to come with me?”

“Oh… Well if that’s what you wanted you should have just said so.”

Lance was thankful that he defused the situation and the two of them headed out. They went to Super Sprout Ramen. The place they showed the woman yesterday. After hearing the woman talk about it, Lance looked up the place on his phone and felt like he wanted to eat there too. When the two of them went inside, they were surprised to see the woman from yesterday sitting at a table. She had several empty bowls stacked up next to her and looked like she was halfway through another one.

“Oh! It’s you two!” She grinned and gestured to the empty seats at her table. “Pull up a chair. You guys were a huge help yesterday. I can’t thank you enough!”

“No problem…” Said Lance. “So you’re eating ramen today as well, uhh…”

“Ezor!” She said. “My name is Ezor and I eat ramen every day! Breakfast, lunch, and dinner!”

“What?” Lance was shocked. “Three times a day? That’s way too much!”

Ezor brushed him off and happily went back to slurping her noodles. “It might be a little fattening, but it’s fine! It’s fine!”

“But-”

Keith put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Lance… You should never stop doing what you love.” It seemed as though Keith had found a kindred spirit when it came to eating junk food. So Keith and Lance sat with Ezor and ate their vegetarian ramen. It seemed a little salty for Lance’s liking, but he enjoyed it.

However, Keith was glaring at his chopsticks with anger. He didn’t seem to know how to use them at all. “Okay, this is bullshit.” He muttered. “How the fuck is anyone meant to eat with this?”

“Oh, let me help with that.” Ezor happily took a hair tie out of her pocket and tied it around one end of Keith’s chopsticks. “Here. Should be a little easier now.”

Keith frowned and attempted to grab some noodles. He actually managed to do it and ate some noodles. He seemed very pleased with himself. “Ha, I did it!”

“Oh yeah, this is your first time using chopsticks, isn’t it?” Asked Lance.

Keith nodded. “Yeah.”

“Then this is your first time eating ramen?!” Asked Ezor in shock. “How have you been living your life without ramen?”

Keith shrugged. “I’m pretty good. I have these.” Once again, from out of nowhere, Keith managed to pull a large fries from nothing. He then proceeded to dump the fries into the ramen.

“Keith! No!” Hissed Lance. “You don’t do that! That’s kind of rude.”

“Huh? Why? Potatoes make everything better.”

From the other side of the table, Ezor looked furious. “You… You ruined the ramen…” She was shaking, she was so furious. 

Keith paused for a moment before he quickly put his hand over his eyes and Lance’s eyes. “Lance! Look out! Don’t look at her!”

“Huh?! What?!”

“Whatever you do, don’t open your eyes until I tell you to!” Said Keith quickly. “She’s a gorgon! If you look at her, you’ll instantly turn to stone!” There was a cracking sound, like the sound of cracking ice. Then an odd sizzling noise. After a few seconds of calm, Keith peeked out at Ezor. She was back to eating ramen. For some reason the salt shaker has a few granules of rock around it. “Okay. We’re good now.”

***

After they had finished eating they went to a secluded area of the park to talk things out. Ezor quickly apologized to them. “I’m really sorry about that. When it comes to ramen, I can get really riled up… It’s kind of a bad habit of mine.”

“I’m just glad nothing bad happened.” Said Lance.

“I didn’t know it was rude to add fries to ramen…” Muttered Keith.

“It’s okay.” Said Ezor. “When I get worked up, I lose control of my evil eye, and these glasses that hold back my power just fly off…”

“Evil eye is actually a thing?” Asked Lance.

Keith nodded. “Yep. Gorgons have the power to turn things to stone with their eyes. The only way to reverse it is with their tears.”

Ezor nodded in agreement. “Yep. Like this!” She quickly took off her glasses and almost hit Keith.

“Hey! Watch it!” He snapped. “Damn it! You grazed me with that!”

“Chill out. I can fix it.”

“Fix what?!” Keith quickly looked down and saw a patch of stone quickly creeping across his shirt. “SHIT!” Yelped Keith as he jumped back and tried to brush it off to no effect.

“Just hold still.” Said Ezor. “If you move around too much you-” Keith’s shirt shattered. “Um… Sorry about that.”

“Damn it! Do you have any idea how many of my clothes have been destroyed lately? This is bullshit!” Complained Keith. “Give me your shirt as compensation!” Ezor sighed and reluctantly handed over her shirt. She was wearing a singlet under her shirt, so it didn’t matter that much. Keith was still pissed off. “Now it’s time for your punishment, you damn Gorgon. Your punishment is. No more ramen.”

“Wait, what?!” Ezor was devastated. She was practically on her knees, begging for anything but that. “Forgive me! I didn’t do it on purpose! Please don’t ignore me!” She sobbed. “I-I’m sorry!”

Keith had no remorse as he shook his head. “Your tears won’t work on me. You need to reflect on your actions and take responsibility for- Wait, tears?” He looked at Ezor and noticed her hair starting to twist, turn, and morph on its own. “Ah shit! Lance, close your eyes! Don’t look at her!”

“Is she going to use her evil eye again?!”

“No! It’s her hair!” Said Keith. Suddenly Ezor’s ponytail transformed into a giant snake as she sobbed on the ground. “If you pressure a gorgon so hard that they can’t control their emotions their hair takes over in self-defence and turns into snakes!” Lance wasn’t quick enough and instantly fainted as the sight of the reptile. Once again, Lance had another client from the other world added to his list.


	159. Hatchlings (Monster AU XIX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is in the mood for more suffering? Because apparently I am, and you are reading this, so are you! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It didn’t take too long before Honerva’s request for flamethrowers was approved. They still needed to wait for them to actually arrive, and Sendak was already tired of this. He had taken to throwing different pieces of debris that washed up on the shore to see how the flesh would react to it.

As he did that, Honerva took out a pair of binoculars and happily surveyed the surroundings. She was still very much intrigued by the strange swelling organs that just continued to grow. She could see several of them growing in small clusters of about three of four. They kind of looked a little like buds. She really wanted to get her hands on one of those for a sample.

“How long?” Asked Sendak as he walked over to her.

“Hmm?”

“How long until they get here?” Growled Sendak. “Did you tell them they can’t have anything organic on them? No leather shoes. Synthetics only.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She muttered. She focused in on a group of those swelling clusters off close to what might have been building before it got covered in flesh. They looked relatively large and the only things still growing while the flesh had stopped. But why? What was their function? Were they swelling with gasses? It was hard to know. 

Something moved just out of the peripheral vision of the binoculars. She quickly looked over to what might have been moving. It was completely out of focus but it was definitely something alive and slowly walking around. She frowned and quickly adjusted the focus to see what on earth could still be walking around if the flesh.

“How long until they get here?” Snapped Sendak. “You never answered me woman.”

“They will get here when they get here stumpy.” Growled Honerva. “Just sit your ass back down on the boat and take your pain meds if you’re going to act like this.” From there she ignored his glares and finally focused in on the thing that she saw moving in the distance. “Oh… Oh my…”

“What?”

“Here.” She passed him the binoculars. “The gap between the main building and the mess hall.”

Sendak grumbled and looked over to what she was looking at. His expression quickly changed. “Oh… This is… This changes everything… Maybe we can hold back on the flamethrowers for a moment?”

Honerva smirked. “Yeah, I was just thinking that.”

***

Lance was still with Keith’s pupa. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against it. It felt oddly soft, kind of like skin. It was strange. But it was Keith. It had to be Keith. He swallowed thickly and pushed his hand against it. “Keith? Are you in there? Come on Keith… Please open up? Can you hear me? Keith...”

Of course he didn’t get a response, but he hoped that he could get one soon. Maybe this was Keith’s final form? What if Keith was stuck as this giant mass forever? Could Lance live like this forever? Live in a strange cave made out of Keith’s flesh? Yes. Yes he could. If this is what Keith wanted then it was okay. This was what Keith needed.

Something suddenly grabbed his leg and almost made Lance jump out of his skin. Looking down he saw Keith. He was shivering and shaking uncontrollably as crawled along the ground and dug his claws into Lance’s leg to try and stand.

Lance was shocked to say the least, but it was Keith. Keith was back and he looked fully human. “Hey, it’s okay.” Lance quickly brushed some hair out of his face. “Are you okay? You’re safe now. Do you need to eat me? Just go ahead. Here.” He offered his arm to Keith and the man quickly sunk his teeth in. Lance smiled softly as he ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. 

Keith made a few happy sounds. Until he was suddenly yanked back by… another Keith. They were just as disheveled as the first one, though their eyes were bright yellow like they were in his monster form. The two Keith’s were going for each other’s throat and desperately trying to murder and eat each other alive.

Before Lance could question how there could be two Keith’s, a third one jumped from out of nowhere and onto the back of the second one. All three of them were ripping into each other and trying to kill each other. How could there be three of them?

Lance quickly looked around the cavern and, much to his horror, he found his answer. One of the large purple buds slowly unfurled like a flower and a clone copy of Keith fell out. They were conscious enough to catch themselves on the floor, but still ended up expelling a lot of clear viscous fluid from their mouths and nostrils as their lungs struggled to work for the first time. Lance didn’t want to think about it, but it was like abiotic fluid. It was like these copies of Keith were being born… and they seemed to be born with the instinctual need to kill each other. But why?

One of the copies suddenly grabbed his leg and violently dragged him away. Their body looked stuck between being Keith the human and Keith the monster. They sunk their teeth into Lance’s calf and went to rip out a chunk when another Keith tackled them off of Lance and ripped out his throat. The cavern quickly became filled with animalistic grunts, screams and howling as all these clones massacred each other.

Another Keith grabbed Lance and bit into his shoulder before they got ripped off by another Keith and was subsequently murdered. It was then that it clicked for Lance. They were fighting over him. These animalistic, malformed copies were all fighting over him. He was stuck in a lion's den full of monsters that were murdering each other for the right to eat him.

***

Sendak huffed in annoyance as he stood at the dock. From where he was he could see the copies of Keith aimlessly wandering around, only to turn on each other and rip each other apart. Cleaning this mess up was going to be annoying. The logistics of cleaning this up was just that little more difficult now.

Honerva chuckled a little as she watched the horror unfold next to him. “What are you so mad at? Upset that it reproduces asexually? We weren’t even sure it was fertile to begin with.”

“It isn’t asexual.” Argued Sendak. “It went into survival mode and quickly adapted to save itself. When Krolia shot it, it started to rapidly divide its cells and tried to repair itself. It’s like the first time it did this but on a much larger scale… Would it be apt to compare this to some kind of cancer? Just with the way it’s rapidly growing and doing all this weird shit? Most of these things don’t even seem to have a higher brain function rather than walk and attack… So they aren’t actual proper copies of the original.”

Honvera was quiet for a moment as she contemplated this. “Hmm, I guess this is a possibility? His anatomy is a little bit odd considering it is a strange hybrid… Oh well. It happens I guess… It’s almost a bastardization of this thing’s natural life cycle, don’t you think?”

Sendak shrugged. Honerva really loved the sound of her own voice. He was just curious if these things were just a physical copy or if they had K-P1’s memories? He doubted that they could have his memories, but considering the fact that the island was suddenly covered in this monster’s flesh, then anything could have happened really.

As they observed the monsters, Sendak seemed to notice something interesting. Many of these monsters were starting to move inland, when they weren’t busy cannibalizing each other like their insect cousins did in their larval form, of course.

Honerva seemed to notice this too. She smirked. “Interesting… Sendak, have you ever heard of a kodoku?”

“I don’t do moon speak.” Grumbled Sendak.

“Wow, you’re a racist as well as a bastard?” 

“Yep. Anyway, what’s that shit about?”

“It’s a curse that Japanese sorcerers would make.” Said Honerva calmly. “They would mix several insects in a jar and let them kill one another until only one survived. The last one standing would be used to poison someone with a curse. They could also be used to make a lucky charm and give someone wealth, but if the maker of the curse didn’t appease the insect with interest then the insect would devour the one who owns their jar.”

“So the island’s become a kodoku?” Asked Sendak. “... Yeah, maybe it’s time to carpet bomb the place?”

“Let’s let the people with the flamethrowers come in and do some cleaning first.” Said Honerva. “... Do you think the original K-P1 is still alive? Like he is still pupating somewhere like the hell flower before?”

“That is a possibility.” Said Sendak. “But if that is true, then it will be somewhere deep in the caves, where all those clones are heading to… I wonder if they are driven by instinct to go deep underground?”

Honerva shrugged. “Who knows?”

***

_This isn’t right..._   
_I think I’m going to be sick..._   
_..._   
_My stomach hurts..._   
_I don’t know if I’m sick because I’m hungry or if I over ate..._   
_Help?_   
_Please?_   
_... I’m sorry..._   
_My arms hurt..._   
_My legs hurt..._   
_My back hurts..._   
_My everything hurts..._   
_I need to stretch..._   
_..._   
_..._   
_..._   
_Why can’t I move?_   
_Why can’t I just… Move?_   
_..._   
_..._   
_..._   
_I want to move..._   
_I need to move..._   
_... Why can’t I move?_   
_I want to move..._

***

Lance did his best to get away from all these Keith clones by running through the cave system, but these things kept coming for him. They didn’t even look fully like Keith anyway. Many of them were deformed and looked like they were stuck between their human and monster forms. He had no idea what was going on. He just needed to get away from these clones. 

They might have looked like Keith, but they certainly weren’t Keith. They didn’t recognise him when they saw him. No recognition at all beyond the idea that he was food. Lance managed to avoid most attacks, but even if these clones did manage to jump on him they were quickly pulled off by other clones that wanted to eat him instead.

One clone managed to grab him in a tunnel, pushing their arm against his face. It tried to bite into his shoulder. Out of reflex, Lance bit into the clone’s arm. It tasted good. It actually tasted sweet to him. The clone cried out and tried to pull away, but Lance just sunk his teeth in further, ripping out a chunk of it’s arm.

Lance couldn’t help but freeze up at that. He felt sick. The clones tasted like that stuff he had been eating on the walls… These things could feel pain, but they didn’t seem affected by the venom he had. What the hell did this mean for him? What was going on?

Before he could get his thoughts together, Lance got tackled through a wall, just an opening covered by a thick membrane and Lance was back in the hole where he started. Lance groaned and attempted to sit up. But the second he moved he felt hands holding him down. He looked up and saw several of these clones holding him down and eating him.

“... Fuck.” 

They split his belly open like a fish and gutted him. Lance should be terrified but if he was honest he was far past the point of being scared. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe he was just tired? He didn’t know if his body was able to keep up with all the damage that was being done to it. Probably not. He was going to get eaten alive, but at least it didn’t hurt.

Maybe this was how he was going to die? Getting eaten alive by Keith, or at the very least weird Keith clones. He didn’t think this was how his life was ever going to turn out for him, or rather end for him. He kind of wondered what his life would be like if he had never met Keith. He would have gone to community college and gotten a girlfriend or a boyfriend. He’d still be talking with his friends and family...

How long had it been since he had been able to hang out with his friends? He missed them a lot. Maybe he should have told them about Keith? He didn’t know what good that would have done. It wasn’t like his friends would have been able to feed Keith. If Keith got hungry or one of them got a little too close to him then they could have very well lost an arm or a leg.

He suddenly lost the ability to breath. One of the clones had popped his lungs or one of them. It felt like he was drowning in air. Like a fish. If he really was a fish he would have expected to get clubbed in the head before he got gutted.

***

With one final push, Keith managed to push himself out of his pupa. He fell onto the soft floor and quickly shook some of the thick, gel-like mucus off his body. He coughed a few times and blinked a little as his eyes quickly became adjusted to his new surroundings. He was a little surprised to see that the whole place was covered in flesh. More than likely his flesh. He mildly remembered doing something similar when he was younger.

Keith frowned and ran his hands over his body. It was a lot harder than before. Like his body was covered in a shell. Kind of like an insect. He ran his hands over his body to see if he had any extra limbs. Still only two arms and two legs. He quickly ran his fingers through his hair and felt something strange along his scalp. It felt like there were long bumps running flat along his head and down his back. With a little bit of touching two antennas sprung free. Keith ran his fingers along them and found that the ends were extremely fluffy.

He hummed and coughed, trying to see if his vocal cords were working, if he even had vocal cords anymore. “Ah…” He wheezed. “Ah… I… Fuck… Okay… I can talk…” He slowly stood up and almost lost his balance. His limbs were a lot longer than they were before, and he was taller. This would get some getting used to.

He very carefully started to walk out the cave. As he walked through the cave he noticed something strange. He saw creatures, or parts of creatures that looked like him. He saw two of them feasting on a body that looked like his body. They all had his face, well, faces. Many of them looked like they were stuck between his human form and his more monstrous form.

They would look up at Keith, but pay him no mind. They seemed indifferent to his existence, and although Keith was curious about them, they weren’t something he really cared for. They were kind of insignificant to him.

He approached them, and they backed away enough to show that they were going to offer Keith their food, which was technically his own flesh. Keith was a little hesitant, but he grabbed a handful of soft flesh and ate it. It wasn’t that good. It was okay, but Lance’s flesh was better.

Speaking of Lance, where was he? He wasn’t back at his pupa. He had to be somewhere here… Was he covered in the flesh somewhere in the cave? He needed to find him. Keith left the other coped alone and started walking through a smaller cave. His antenna brushed against the walls and he instantly felt a shiver down his spine. He could feel the vibrations of everything in the cave. There was a lot of movement up ahead.

Keith quickly moved towards the source of the vibration. What he found was a small mass of Keith clones were eating something. Judging from their previous actions they were probably eating each other. They all seemed to be extremely ravenous. Was he this hungry when he was younger?

He was about to leave and look for Lance elsewhere when one of his clones quickly pulled their head back. A tanned finger flew through the air. It made Keith freeze in horror. He made a high pitched clicking noise and quickly ran forward to the mass. The sound seemed to catch the attention. Some of them managed to scramble away in time, but Keith managed to sink his claws into a few and splattered them across the floor.

Lance was there and he seemed extremely chewed up. He kind of looked like how he did when they first met and Keith just quickly ate him before running away. His body was very, very slowly healing, but it was very slowly. 

“Lance…” Keith knelt down next to him and pulled most of what remained of Lance onto his lap. He’d keep Lance safe while he healed, like he assumed Lance had done for him when he was pupating. He brushed some of the tendrils away from Lance’s body when they tried to snake up and cling to Lance’s body.

Anytime one of those clones got a little too close to them Keith would make more of those aggressive clicking noises. His clones seemed to be scared of him when he made those sounds. Eventually, even though they still seemed very interested in Lance, they went back to attacking and eating each other. Some of them even started to eat the walls, easily peeling it back to reveal the rock wall underneath.

Keith sighed and ran his fingers through Lance’s bloody hair. “It’s okay.” He said quietly. “Just give it some time… You’ll be fine.” He pulled his hand back and looked down at the blood on his hand. It was blue.


	160. Turtleduck (AtLA AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quack, Quack mother fuckers. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith and Shiro had made it back to Ryner’s home early in the morning. She had several scrolls on her desk and Matt and Pidge were passed out in a corner with a blanket thrown over them. Shiro questioned what happened. Ryner just shrugged and told them that they had worn themselves out.

They went to a slightly quieter room and Ryner was more than happy to give them some tea and snacks while they talked about firebending. Ryner had started by going into the history of firebending during the era of Raava, where people were given the element of firebending from the fire lion turtle. Then how Wan stole this power and was banished.

Keith knew this story. His dad explained it to him. Wan stole the fire to better the life of himself and his friends. Of course he had been captured and was banished into the Spirit Wilds. The lion turtle let him keep the power to firebend to protect himself. Out in the wilds he honed his skills and learned the proper way to firebend from the dragons that lived in the Spirit Wilds.

“Then there are the Sun Warriors.” Said Ryner. “Unfortunately a lot of the information from that time has been lost. Most of it was destroyed during the Hundred Years War… But Fire emperor Zuko has gotten some expeditions together to gather information from the ruins that once was the Sun Warrior city. It is a remarkable thing… Things could have gone very different if their knowledge had survived the Hundred Years War…”

Keith had heard about the Sun Warriors. His father had told him about them, but it was mostly just stories. Fairy Tales. Things about how they were the perfect firebenders. How they were able to control and manipulate fire was legendary. In his village there weren’t many firebenders and very few people who wanted to teach anyone firebending beyond not burning down the whole place. That lesson didn’t really work well on him. Hence why he was here in the first place.

“We have been to a few places that have talked about the Sun Warriors.” Said Shiro. “Mostly in the Fire Nation, but there wasn’t much information.”

“That was one of the first things we tried to look at.” Said Keith. “But the Sun Warrior’s city is inaccessible by anyone apart from expeditions given royal permission to go… We wanted to see if there were some murals we could look at, or some kind of ancient scroll we could examine.”

Ryner nodded and frowned. “Yes, that is a bit of a problem… Shiro, if you don’t mind me asking, how do you know so much about firebending? Were you perhaps born in the Fire Nation?”

“Yeah I was.” Said Shiro. He went into his history, about how he lived around the more northern parts of the Fire Nation and when he started to develop his air bending powers due to the harmonic convergence, he went to the closest air temple to see if he could get some help. Shiro was some kind of prodigy and quickly mastered the art, hence why he now had the airbender tattoos on his body.

He went into more detail and Keith tuned them out. He didn’t really understand what talking about the history of firebending would do for him. He knew the stories. They were dumb. He just wanted to learn how to control his firebending. He was tired of destroying everything around him when his emotions became too much.

Keith let out a slow sigh. He really wanted to go home already. Sure, it was fun seeing the world, but Keith just wanted to spend time with his dad. He really missed him and their small house near the outskirts of the village. It was calm and peaceful. He liked it. It actually made him feel more at peace being there than being out here.

He suddenly felt something tugging at his leg. Keith looked down and saw Rover. The Iguana parrot was trying to climb up his leg. With a bit of hesitation, Keith picked up the animal and it immediately snuggled into his chest. It made happy chirping sounds. Keith just rolled his eyes and let the animal do what it wanted. Wasn’t his fault that a firebender had a much higher body temperature than other people.

The little creature made very happy sounds as they closed their eyes and lightly puffed up their feathers. It was pretty cute. He sighed a little and gently patted them a few times. It made the iguana lizard chirp.

Soon Matt walked in yawning. “Hmm? Oh, morning everyone.”

“Morning.” Said Shiro. “Did you sleep well?”

Matt shrugged. “Could have slept better. Oh, that’s where Rover went. Hey buddy.” He gently patted the animal’s head. Rover made more happy sounds. Matt picked them up and put him on his shoulder. “Hey Ryner, mind if Pidge and I are going to go outside so she can do some bending.”

“Sounds good.” She said. “Don’t forget to grab some food from the kitchen. Can’t do bending on an empty stomach.”

“Thanks Ryner.” Matt looked over at Keith and Shiro. “If you two want, you can come out and join us? I know Pidge and I would love to see some air and firebending in action.”

Shiro looked over at Keith. “If you want to, you can. I know you’re not that interested in the more theoretical stuff.”

“Thanks.” Keith followed Matt out to the kitchen. Matt grabbed a bowl filled with dumpling looking things and gave a small over to Rover. The creature happily nibbled it. They then went outside and Keith was surprised to see Pidge practicing some movements with metal fans. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“Warm ups.” Said Pidge. “First thing a Kyoshi warrior must do in the morning is warm her body through exercise. It’s as important and as ingrained in us as eating breakfast, drinking water, or going to the bathroom when you wake up.” She put her fans away and happily took a dumpling out of the bowl. “Mmm, chicken.”

Keith stood to the side and watched the siblings interact for a bit. He did find it a little hard to believe that Pidge was an actual Kyoshi warrior. He had seen Kyoshi warriors before. They wore heavily armoured green kimonos, metal headdresses, and face paint. Pidge was just wearing common Earth Kingdom fashion. Maybe she was a Kyoshi warrior in training? Admittedly, a lot of things were kind of a mystery to him so he wasn’t sure.

Once Pidge had finished eating she dusted her hands off and went back to warming up with her fans. “You want to join in?” She asked Keith.

“Sure.” Keith stood by her and slowly started to try and copy Pidge’s movements with mixed results. Eventually he just gave up trying to copy her and just did some stretches and ran on the spot for a bit.

Suddenly Pidge quickly spun around and waved her fans forward while stamping her foot against the ground. A quick wave of earth quickly surged up and flattened out. She grinned at herself and seemed very happy with themself.

“Cool.” Said Keith.

Pidge looked up at him. “What can I say? I’m just cool like that. What can you do?”

Keith shrugged and did one of the more basic fire bending techniques. He took a deep breath and quickly punched at the air in front of him, creating a fireball wish he directed to the ground. It wasn’t very large but it was still very impressive for most non-firebenders.

It looked like he was right because Pidge gave him an almost thoughtful look as she nodded. “Impressive. Quick question though. This has always bugged the hell out of me, but where does your fire come from? Like, everyone else manipulated elements that are already there, but fire? Unless there is an open flame what the hell man?”

That was a pretty common question. Keith had wondered that when he was a kid too. “We use our chi. The energy that is already inside us to create our fire when we firebend. Though we can use already existing fire to firebend.”

“Oh, neat… And here I thought I’d have the upper hand if I stuck you in a dark room.”

“You need light to see too.”

“I’m working on overcoming that.”

“How?”

“Seismic sense.” Said Pidge. “It’s like a master level earthbending technique. I’m getting better at it, but it’s still a work in progress…”

“Like your metalbending?” Called Matt.

“You shut your whore mouth!” Snapped Pidge. “I will metalbend one day! You just wait and see!”

“Why do you want to metalbend so badly?” Asked Keith.

Pidge looked at Keith like he had grown an extra head. “Um, hello? Metalbending is cool. Who wouldn’t want to do that? That’s like saying you don’t kind of want to lightningbend.”

“Lightning what now?”

Pidge looked even more shocked than before. “Please tell me you’re joking… How do I know more about firebenders than you? General Iroh, AKA, The Dragon of the West? Brother to fire emperor Ozai? A firebending master? By the spirits… You’re not a very bright man…”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Shut up… Just tell me what this lightningbending is.”

“It’s like…” She thought for a moment. “Matt and I read about it last night… It was described as cold-blooded fire. It looked pretty intense. Like, you have to be Avatar levels of firebending mastery to manipulate lightning. Don’t you think that would be cool?”

“Oh… I guess?” While lightningbending would be cool, Keith couldn’t even master firebending. He’d probably blow himself up if he tried lightningbending. “Anyway, I thought you were a Kyoshi warrior? You don’t look much like one.”

“I left my uniform at home.” Said Pidge. “I’m not doing official business so all I need are my fans. We don’t walk around in that stuff all the time. Too bulk. Anyway, I want to see some more of your firebending.” She stomped on the ground and a huge rock pillar rose out of the ground. “Here. Beat this up!”

Keith chuckled and cracked his knuckles. “Yeah, alright.”

***

It was about midday when Hunk decided to close up for the day. Something about how he needed to talk to other merchants so he could get more stock before they left before they headed off to their next destination.

Lance decided to spend his day walking around the city and looking at all the cool things there. Much to his delight he found a pet shop selling turtleducks. Without hesitation Lance went in and bought a turtleduck with bright blue eyes. Of course he names the little darling Blue and tied a blue ribbon around their neck.

Blue looked quite happy about this and let out a ting quack. Naturally Lance decided to spoil the hell out of Blue and looked for all the things a little turtle duck would need. He may or may not have bought some water proof, shell safe, paints to paint Blue’s shell a little later on. She was gonna be the prettiest damn turtle duck in town.

He wasn’t too sure how best to take care of a turtleduck, but he was pretty sure that Ryner might have a scroll on them or point him in the right direction, so with Blue in hands, he happily walked to Ryner’s place.

Ryner was happy to see him and fawned over Blue when he showed them to her. “I have some scrolls you might like to look at. In the meantime, you can put Blue out in the pond in the backyard.”

“Okay.” Lance happily walked out the back. He saw Matt and Shiro looking over some scrolls while Pidge and Keith looked like they were doing some bending practice. He had to admit, it was pretty damn scary and impressive to see them both bend earth and fire.

Blue seemed to be impressed too. “Quack!”

Pidge looked over at him and gasped. “Is that a turtleduck?!”

“Yep.” Said Lance proudly. “Her name is Blue.”

“How do you know it’s a girl?” Asked Keith.

“... She looks like a girl.”

Pidge looked over at Matt. “Hey Matt? Can you sex this turtleduck?”

Lance held Blue a little tighter. “He’s going to do what to Blue?”

Matt chuckled as he walked over. “Sex it. Relax, it’s nothing bad. I do things like this all the time back home. I do farming stuff and sometimes the more reptilian and bird species are a little hard to tell with an untrained eye.” He held his hands out. “Mind if I take a look?” Lance reluctantly handed Blue to Matt. Matt very carefully lifted Blue’s tail up. “... Yeah, Blue’s a girl.”

Lance stuck his tongue out at Keith as he took Blue back. “See? Told you Blue’s a girl.” He walked over to the pond and very carefully put Blue in the shallows. “You like that?”

Blue wiggled her tail, happily quacked and happily started swimming around the water. Immediately going into the deep end of the pond and quickly started diving and coming back up. They happily quacked and wiggled their tail a couple of times. Lance immediately fed Blue some of the turtleduck food that he bought for her. Blue loved it and happily swam around in circles while quacking at him.

With a smile, Lance leaned over the pond and very gently moved his arms in a push/pull motion. It made a small wave, which seemed to delight Blue who happily rode the wave. They attempted to dived down a few times into the wave, but it didn’t really work out well for her.

Pidge crouched next to him and grinned. “Aw, that’s cute. Turtleducks are sweet… What are you going to do when you go back to the Northern Water Tribe?”

“It’ll be fine.” Said Lance. “My family has a lot of political power up there. I’ll talk to my cousin and she’ll help me get some kind of small heated pond approved. Blue will love it.”

“Quack!”

“See? She already loves the idea.”

“Well, good luck with that. She’s a cutie.”

“Damn right she is.”

Blue ended up climbing out of the pond, wiggled the water off her tail, and happily climbed up onto a rock to sun herself. She looked very pleased with herself. Lance’s heart melted. He so had to write back to Allura about the cuteness that was Blue.

“Oh shit!” 

“Not again!”

The two benders quickly turned around to see Keith pulling his shirt off and stamping the flames out of it. Shiro was quickly by his side. Once Keith’s clothes weren’t on fire anymore, he picked it up and glared at the scorch mark.

Shiro sighed and shook his head. “What one was that?” He asked.

“... It was my fifth shirt.” Grumbled Keith as he pulled it back on. He brushed at the scorch marks a few times and frowned when his hand got covered in ash.

“Aren’t you guys fireproof?” Asked Lance.

“We aren’t fireproof, dumbass!” Snapped Keith. “Are water benders immune to tsunamis and floods?!”

“Whoa, calm down. I was just asking a genuine question…” Muttered Lance. “You’re the first firebender I’ve talked to…”

“Hey, let’s all calm down a little.” Said Shiro in a warning tone. “None of this yelling and fighting. No good is going to come of it. Okay?”

Keith looked like he was about to snap at Shiro when Ryner and Hunk walked out. Hunk was carrying a basket of baked goods. “Hey guys.” He said. “I managed to cut a pretty good deal and got a bunch of food out of it. Want to have some?” He looked around and noticed the tension in the air. “Um, what did I miss?”

“Nothing…” Muttered Keith.

“I got a turtleduck.” Said Lance as he pointed to Blue. “Her name is Blue and I love her.”

“Quack!”

“Oh my gaaawd!” Hunk put the basket down and quickly ran over to the pond to coo over the little animal. “She’s so precious! I love her so much! I love her!” Lance grinned. Blue was the best turtleduck ever.


	161. Run Program (Android AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, to Shiro's apartment .Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The two androids quickly got back to Shiro’s apartment. Most things had been boxed up and ready to go. Lance liked it. The aesthetic seemed to be minimalistic, but then again a lot of stuff might have just been boxed up.

“Nice place.” Commented Lance.

‘Yeah, Shiro’s place is pretty neat.” Said Keith. He gently tugged on Lance’s arm and moved the two of them towards Shiro’s bedroom. It was one of the few rooms that still wasn’t completely packed yet, but there were a few boxes of clothes already packed away.

Lance happily sat on the bed and looked around. The room was very nice, and he liked it a lot. He flopped back on the mattress and giggled. This was nice. He wanted to have a bed in his room, or wherever he and Keith ended up. He watched as Keith looked through the bedside table. He pulled a face a few times as he moved stuff out of the way, he then found what he wanted; a bottle of lube that was half full.

“I guess Shiro has a healthy sex life, huh?” Asked Lance.

Keith pulled a face. “Ew. I don’t want to think about Shiro’s sex life… Anyway, do we need anything else? Like condoms?”

Lance shook his head. “Well, I don’t think we need them. We can’t give each other sexually transmitted diseases, and neither of us can get pregnant.”

“... Right. I’m just overthinking things…” He sat next to Lance and let out a long, slow sigh.

Lance smiled at him and gently touched his hand. “Keith, we can take this slow. Neither of us have used this program before, right? Well, not with someone else… But it will be nice to do stuff together.”

“True…” Keith had a very serious look on his face and some green letter scripts scrolled over his eyes. It looked like he might have been looking at his programming. 

“What are you doing?” Asked Lance.

“I’m checking my settings… I um… I’m setting things to midrange… It seems like a good setting to start with?”

“Hmm, true, but mix it up a little. That’s what I’m going to do.” Said Lance as he opened his own program and quickly went through his own settings. Everything was set on a scale from 0%-100%. Chest sensitivity? How about 63%? Shaft sensitivity? Why not 70%? Head sensitivity? That had to at least be an 80%. Balls? Well they could be set at a 47%. His sphincter? Well… since that was the part of him that was probably going to be touched the most… so that had to be at minimum a setting of 90%.

“... You think that’s a good idea?” Asked Keith.

“Well it’s not like we can’t change our settings on the fly.”

“True… We should probably get undressed before we actually launch the program.”

Lance couldn’t disagree with that and happily removed his clothes. Keith did the same and the two of them were naked in front of each other. Lance was rather impressed with Keith’s choice. From his medical standpoint, everything was anatomically correct and very well proportioned. He went for the circumcised model too. He had done the same. Lance could appreciate well based symmetry when it comes to the human body. Thought that was probably just his base programming as an android talking.

“Nice choice.” Said Lance. “If you just use it for aesthetic purposes then you definitely have something you can be proud of.”

Keith rolled his eyes a little and smiled at him. “Thanks. You too. Were you going for function or aesthetics?”

“A little of both.” Admitted Lance. He grabbed the lube and lied down on his side.

“What are you doing?” Asked Keith curiously.

Lance shrugged. “I read through the material that Matt gave me. I need to apply lubrication before intercourse to prevent chafing and to ensure that all internal parts are loose and slippery. Also to prevent chafing and to prevent accidental tearing of my own internal parts.”

“Oh, makes sense.”

“Yeah.” Lance pressed the nozzle against himself and squirted a generous amount into himself. He then quickly ran a quick cycle making sure everything internal was vibrating and shaking slightly to ensure everything was lubed well. “... Okay. I’m ready… Are you?”

Keith nodded and moved Lance so he was resting happily against the pillows. “As ready as I will ever be.” He gently cupped Lance’s cheek and lovingly kissed him. “Launch the program?”

Lance smiled and happily kissed back as he launched the program. His whole body felt warm as and his sexual organs instantly became way more sensitive than before. He shuddered as he felt some of the lube leaking out of his entrance. It was kind of cold, but it still felt really, really good.

He quickly pulled Keith into a heated kiss, which Lance happily accepted. He moved his hands along Keith’s body, happily moaning when he felt Keith’s hands squeezing his chest. His lover’s fingers quickly found his nipples and he started to lightly rub and pinch them. It felt like a jolt of electricity running straight from his chest to his crotch. It felt amazing.

“F-fuck… Keith…” He moaned.

Keith chuckled a little as he pressed a kiss against his neck. “Turned your sensitivity up too high?”

“Hmm, maybe.” Purred Lance as he moved his hands down Keith’s body, quickly finding his cock. He slowly started to stroke him and smirked when he felt Keith shudder above him. “Turned your sensitivity up too high?”

Keith just moaned into his ear as he thrusted into his hand. “Sh-shut up.”

“Make me.”

Taking up the challenge, Keith quickly pressed his lips against Lance’s. Lance hummed in delight and rolled his hips against Keith’s. He felt Keith run his hands down along his thighs. Without even asking him to, Lance’s legs fell open for him. Completely exposed.

He shuddered when he felt Keith’s fingers slowly rub around his entrance. His fingers dipped inside him several times. It made Lance shake with pleasure. Maybe 90% sensitivity was a little too much? Lance gasped out a curse when Keith actually started to finger him. He hadn’t experienced pleasure like this before since he had first been brought online. 

Suddenly Keith removed his fingers and sat back. Lance whined and reached out for him. “Just give me a second love.” Said Keith as he spread some lube on his cock. Lance couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight. He wished that he had proper taste receptors or an actual throat, just so he could suck on Keith’s cock.

Keith very slowly started to press into Lance’s overly sensitive body. It felt so damn good. He pulled Keith into a kiss as his lover completely filled him. It didn’t take too long before Keith started to thrust into him. 

Lance couldn’t stop moaning. He felt like his systems were going to crash. Without even thinking he started to slowly increase his sensitivity and vibrations. Judging from Keith’s own moaning he really appreciated it. Lance dug his nails into Keith’s back and moaned louder.

Suddenly, Lance’s threshold was hit and his sensors hit pleasure overload. He practically screamed as his body tensed up and shook. After a few earth shattering seconds Lance felt Keith pull out and lie down next to him. As he did so, some words flashed in front of Lance’s eyes.

_Relaunch Foreplay_Sex; Y/N_

Lance snuggled into Keith’s chest and sighed contently as he shut off the program. He waited a few moments for his sensors to recalibrate back to normal. He frowned a little and looked up at Keith. He seemed to be in the middle or recalibrating his sensors himself.

“Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Sex was good, but…”

“It isn’t as good as humans hype it up to be?”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yep. That was just so… Yeah, it was kind of fun, but man… I honestly like doing puzzles with you more than this.”

“Same.” Keith ran his fingers through Lance’s hair and let out a sigh. “Like, it’s kind of fun, but not really more than anything else.”

“That being said, I wouldn’t mind doing it a few more times.” Said Lance. “But I can live without it.”

“Same. So, that lube was oil based. How do you clean yourself?”

“Oh, easy.” Lance lifted one of his legs and pressed firmly against a slight bump near his tailbone. There was a click, and Lance easily removed that piece of his body. It looked like a fleshlight. Probably because it was just a fancy fleshlight. “Does Shiro’s dishwasher work?”

“Yeah?” 

“Good. I’ll be back in a minute.” Lance happily skipped off to the kitchen.

“Are you really going to put that into the dishwasher?!”

“Don’t worry! It’s dishwasher safe!”

***

A few hours later the two androids were back at Adam’s house. Kosmo was happily trotting around and wagged his tail when he saw Keith and Lance. Lance happily cuddled the fluffy boy while Keith went to see what Shiro and Adam were doing. They were watching TV. Adam reclined in his chair and Shiro sprawled out on the couch.

“Did you find that thing?” Asked Shiro. “Whatever it was you wanted to show Lance?”

“... It wasn’t there. Probably accidentally threw it out or tossed it into one of the boxes. These things happen.”

“Yeah, true…” Said Shiro. “Anyway, while you were out, Adam got a call from Pidge. They said they can come over tomorrow and get Adam set up with a new care unit.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Said Keith. He looked over at Lance who was still playing with Kosmo. He looked so perfect just existing. “I guess this means that the two of us should start packing our things.”

“Yeah… By the way, Coran sent me a message too. They are going to leave by the end of the week. You can take Kosmo too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I got him for you.” Said Shiro with a smile. “Are you ready to leave?”

Keith looked over once again at Lance and smiled at him. “Yeah. I think we’re both ready to leave.”


	162. Honk (Monsters and manna AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mess with the Honk, you get the bonk. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“Honk.”

The group looked down at the offending bird in confusion. They had just been traveling along the road when suddenly a goose wandered onto their path and didn’t seem to want them to pass. Bolt had tried growling at it, but the goose was not intimidated at all by the elemental wolf. In fact, the goose hissed at Bolt and scared them. The elemental wolf was currently hiding behind Thundar.

“How are we going to get past them?” Asked Block.

“Can anyone speak to animals?” Asked Valayun.

Meklaver shrugged and gestured to Thundar. “Ask the animal expert.”

Thundar sighed and walked over to the goose. He cleared his throat and looked at them. “Um… Hello there? Can you please move out of the way?”

“Honk!”

“Um…”

“HONK! HONK! HONK!”

Thundar walked back to the group. “Yeah, I have no idea what they are saying.”

“Maybe we should just kill it?” Suggested Pike. “We could have goose for dinner?”

“We don’t have to kill it.” Said Shiro. “We probably have something that they want. If we give it to them then they might leave us alone?”

“Yeah… Not convinced.” Said Meklaver. “Go with Pike’s idea.”

“It’s just a goose.” Said Shiro. 

“I agree with Shiro.” Said Valayun. “We should figure out a peaceful solution to-”

While they were talking, Thundar readied his bow, and shot the goose. It let out a pained squawk and fell over. Everyone looked over at him and he shrugged. “What? It’s a goose.”

***

“Alright everyone.” Said Coran as he cracked his knuckles. “Roll initiative.”

“20.”

“18.”

“15.”

“9.”

“13.”

“5.”

Coran let out a slow breath as he quickly rolled a few dice of his own. “Hmm, alright… This will be interesting…”

***

As Valayun and Shiro argued with Thundar about just randomly killing a goose. Thundar just shrugged. The goose was an asshole and in their way. He argued that there was no reason to not kill it. They could just eat the damn thing now anyway. Plus he and Valayun could use the feathers for their bows.

“HONK!”

The group looked over at the goose that was rapidly growing. Within seconds it was towering over the group. It had nasty, fierce looking teeth, red rimmed eyes and talons tipped its webbed feet. When it honked the trees shook.

“HONK!”

“And this is why you don’t just shoot the goose…” Muttered Shiro.

Valayun quickly drew her bow and shot two ice arrows at the beast. One hit its wing while the other hit it in the chest. It bellowed and honked, quickly stamping its feet. As Valayun distracted it, Meklavar managed to sneak up close to it and strike it in the leg. Block used a spell to supercharge Thundar’s bow. 

The goose hissed and aggressively flapped its wings, knocking everyone back before it took a swipe at Meklavar. She got knocked into a tree and clearly took damage.

Thundar quickly let loose an arrow. Thanks to Block’s enchantment, Thundar’s arrow struck a critical hit on the goose. Shiro managed to run up to the goose and struck its other leg. While the goose was reeling back in pain, Pike lit a small explosive and threw it at the bird. Unfortunately he completely missed and blew up a tree behind the monster bird.

“... Oops?”

“Aim lower!” Yelled Thundar as he took cover behind a rock. The half elf then whistled and Bolt barked loudly. The clouds quickly gathered and the goose got struck with lightning.

“HONK! HONK! HONK!”

“How strong is this monster?!” Asked Valayun as she quickly let off a few more shots. One hitting the goose and one missing it.

“Oh, so now it’s a monster?” Asked Thundar.

Meklavar went into a rage and started hacking away at the goose’s legs. The goose almost fell over and started to breathe fire. “HONK! HONK! HONK!”

Block quickly cast a magic shield over Shiro. Just in time too. The goose sent flames Shiro’s way. He managed to hold his own behind his own shield and the flames. Shiro cast divine retribution on the goose and three spears made of tangible light struck the bird.

Thundar jumped up on top of the rock and shot at the goose again, hitting it square in the eye, but that didn’t kill it. Pike then decided to try and throw another bomb at it and struck the goose on the back. The goose fell over and hit the ground. Bolt attempted to strike it again with more lightning, but he fudged it and ended up coughing instead of barking.

Valayun missed her shot at hitting the goose, and Meklavar ended up delivering the killing blow. Like a tiny, angry tornado of fury and axe blades, Meklavar blaze through the animal’s neck, beheading it and ending the fight.

Pike sat down and let out a sigh of relief. “So… This means we are having goose for dinner, and breakfast, and lunch, and dinner?”

Block nodded as he walked over to the goose. “Yeah, looks like it… That was a really good shot Thundar. I… I can’t believe you actually got them in the eye…”

“Yeah!” Yelled Meklavar. “Damn noodle neck bastard! I’ll kill them all!”

“Cam down there Mek.” Said Shiro calmly. “You’re still raging.”

“I know.” She said as she breathed heavily. “Gotta… Gotta take a few deep breaths… Give me a moment…”

“So, kill all geese from now on?” Asked Thundar.

Pike shook his head. “Not if they are all gonna turn into giant, fire breathing weregoose things. They’re scary...”

Thundar placed his hand in Pike’s back and smiled softly at him. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of any scary geese that come our way.

“... Dude, you’re the one that made the goose go feral in the first place.”

“What? No I-”

“He’s right!” Said Block “You kind of did shoot it… Just saying… Might have been able to bribe it with some bread…”

“Or my fucking fist!” Yelled Meklavar.

“MEK!” Snapped Shiro. “Language!”

“Sorry!” They yelled. “Still calming down from my rage!”

Shiro shook his head and looked at Thundar. “So, what did you learn from this experience?”

“... I need a better bow.”

“What?”

“I need to be able to kill a goose like that in one hit.”

“Thundar… That’s not…”

“That’s totally hot.” Swooned Pike. “Damn, you’re so hot when you’re all murdery like that babe.”

“Call me babe again and I’ll stab you with an arrow.”

“Oh honey, save that dirty talk for the bedroom.”

***

“I can’t believe we fought a goose…” Said Pidge. They looked over at Coran. “Did you take us seriously when we told you that geese were horrible, evil, earth monsters?”

Coran nodded and twirled his moustache. “Well of course. I was inspired by their ferocious hissing and honking. Their hunting prowess and unrelenting need to attack makes them a top predator… I hope you don’t mind that I homebrewed the stats on it?”

Hunk shook his head. “I think you nailed it.

“Yeah.” Agreed Lance. “Geese are evil creatures. I didn’t think they could get anymore evil, but you did it. You made it even more evil.”

“... Can I loot its body for feathers?” Asked Keith.

“I want to do that too!” Said Allura.

“Alright, you loot the weargoose.” Said Coran. “You each get twenty white feathers.”


	163. M.Y.R.C (X-men AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I wouldn't say Lance's dad is mutantphobic, he's just... Yeah, he's a little mutant phobic, but he's mostly ignorant. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Being around the McClain family was weird. They were all non mutants and they were treating him kindly, albeit a little strangely, though Keith did think that was because he was so different from them. Being a giant cat person tended to do that to people. He just sat quietly at the dinner table and ate the food that was put in front of him.

If Keith was being honest he didn’t really like spicy food. It hurt his nose and stung his throat. Yeah, he preferred food that was plain with maybe a little bit of salt and pepper. Whatever spices Mrs McClain was using made his mouth itch, but Keith wasn’t going to say a word. He was still kind of worried he’d say something wrong and get kicked out of the house. He really didn’t want that. He didn’t think there was a greyhound bus he could catch back to the school at this point.

He just quietly sat and ate as the family sat around and talked. Lance’s older sister Veronica was at college studying something that sounded really intense. Marco, the oldest brother, was dropping by for his weekly dinner with the family. The second oldest brother, Luis was also there. He apparently worked with Mr McClain in construction.

Lance was happily filling everyone in about the school and all the cool things there. Keith didn’t really think they were very cool. It was just a school. The environment was friendly enough for Keith to kind of relax.

“And you really like it there?” Asked Mr McClain.

Lance happily nodded. “Yeah. Everyone there is really nice and cool.”

“They all have powers like you?”

“Well no.” Said Lance. “I mean, I’m probably on the more unimpressive when it comes to some of the other kids there, but-”

The older man gestured to Keith with his fork. “So they are like him?” 

Keith froze when he heard his tone. He didn’t like that tone. No one ever meant it in a positive way when they used that tone. They meant he was a freak. Maybe he would have been less of a freak if he had been born with more normal cat colours? Something like black, white, or brown? Purple was just too weird.

“Wow papa.” Said Veronica. “Couldn’t have said that with a less mutantist tone?”

“What?” Asked the man. “It’s a valid question. I want to know if the students there look like him or look normal.” Everyone of the McClain children looked very alarmed at what he was saying and all quickly started to talk on top of each other.

“That’s mutanist!” Said Rachel. “You can’t-”

“Seriously old man?” Asked Marco. “Why would you-”

“Do you not think Lance is a mutant?” Asked Veronica. “You’re either a mutant or you aren’t. There’s no-”

“You can’t say that!” Said Lance. “Why would you think it’s okay to-”

“We talked about this!” Hissed Luis. “You can’t say-”

“I have a right to know!” Snapped the McClain patriarch. “Any parent would want to know that their kid is fitting in with people like that. What did you parents think about sending you to that school?” The question was clearly directed at Keith.

Keith kept his eyes on his half full plate. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him. “I… I wouldn’t know… I was abandoned… I’m an orphan…” The whole table was silent. Keith felt like this was all his fault. He put his cutlery down and stood up. “Th-thanks for the food. I um… I’m really tired from traveling here… I’m just going to turn in for tonight… Goodnight…” 

He quickly left the table and hid in Lance’s bedroom. The McClain’s were nice, but Keith was a freak and he knew it. It was impossible for him to even pretend he was like everyone else. One look at him and everyone treated him like a freak. Mr McClain wasn’t the worst person he had come across, he was just speaking the truth. Keith was too different to be here.

He took out his phone and looked at his contacts. He only had Shiro and Adam in his contacts. Keith nervously bit his bottom lip as he contemplated calling Shiro up and asking if he can help him get back to the school. He knew Shiro would do it, but at the same time, he knew that Shiro would be disappointed in him if he did so. He was so happy that he was going to spend the holidays with a friend… Then again, what was one more disappointment when Keith’s life was just one disappointment after another?

“Meow.”

Keith frowned and looked under Lance’s bed. Ginger was looking out at him. “Oh, hi Ginger.” The cat meowed again and happily wriggled out. They then happily climbed onto Keith’s lap and started to purr.

With a sigh, Keith patted the fluffball a few times. He’d do his best to stay away from Mr McClain. He didn’t seem like someone that cared much for freaks like him. At least Ginger seemed to like him well enough.

***

“Did you really have to say that?” Veronica asked her papa. “Keith’s probably had it hard enough without you saying anything to him. He would have gone to his family's place for the holidays if he could go there.”

“I still have the right to know. It was bad enough that we agreed to send Lance to a boarding school of freaks-”

“You think I’m a freak?” Growled Lance. “I’ve always been a mutant. Just because I don’t look like what you think a mutant looks like doesn’t mean I’m not one. I’ve made friends that look passable to you and I have made friends that don’t look anything like us!”

“You will not raise your voice at me!”

Lance glared at his father for a few seconds before he stood up. “I’m done.” His mama was about to say something, but Lance quickly cut her off. “Keith is my friend and a guest here. He shouldn’t feel like he’s not welcome when mama said that Keith was welcome here. I sent you guys a photo of him so you guys could do some research on mutants so he wouldn’t feel unwelcome!” 

He stormed off and went to find Keith. He quickly found Keith in his bedroom, looking miserable but patting Ginger. He looked up at Lance. “So… Should I call someone?”

“What? Why?”

“... So I can leave.” Said Keith quietly. “I should just leave… I’m not wanted, right? You dad wants me gone…”

“...” He closed the door, sat next to Keith and put his arm around his shoulder. “Forget about him… He’s always been kind of… I wouldn’t say he dislikes mutants he just…”

“Doesn’t like mutants that look like mutants?” Asked Keith quietly.

Lance nodded. “Yeah, I think so… We’ve never really talked about it before… Topic doesn’t really come up in conversation much. You’re still welcome here.”

“... Are you sure I’m welcome?” Asked Keith quietly as he ran his fingers through Ginger’s fur. “I… The holidays are meant to be spent with your family and the people you care about… I-”

“I care about you.”

“...”

Lance rested his head on Keith’s shoulder and patted Ginger. “You’re okay Keith… I care about you a lot. You’re my friend. I want you to feel comfortable in my home too… Do you want to go back to school?”

“... I just don’t want to look over my shoulder all the time.” Admitted Keith. “The atmosphere here is… It reminds me of when I was in some foster homes… Most of the mutants that were there, if they were there, looked normal. The government gives you a lot of money taking in mutant kids… Just meant we were usually fed just a little bit better and clothed better than the rest of the kids and… Just that passive aggressiveness just makes me uncomfortable…”

“I’m sorry…” Lance felt guilty. “I’m really sorry.”

There was a knock at the door and Veronica slowly opened it. “Hey, can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Veronica walked into the room. “Hey Keith… I’m really sorry about what happened…”

“It’s fine.” Said Keith quietly. “I’m used to it…”

“It isn’t… Ah shit, now this is gonna come off as weird and insensitive…” She took a flyer out of her pocket and held it out to them. “I picked this up because Lance was coming back and thought he might like to check it out while he’s here, and then when mama said you’d be here too… I thought we could go and check it out tomorrow. If you don’t want to, that’s fine… But after what the old man said, I thought you both might want to leave the house for a bit.

Lance took the flyer and looked at it. In big bold letters it proclaimed; M.Y.R.C; Mutant, Youth, Recreation, Center. Lance was actually surprised that one of those had opened up close to them. He didn’t think that there were enough mutants around to warrant one of those.

Keith just scoffed. “M.Y.R.C is bullshit. They are all either run by normal people or people who have mutant children and see them as a burden. It’s like Autism speaks. It’s fucking bullshit.”

“Oh… Sorry…” Said Veronica. “I just thought that… I mean, I went down and talked to the people running this particular branch… They were all mutants...”

“How could you tell?” Asked Keith. He didn’t seem very enthusiastic about it.”

“Well, all of the people were really tall, kind of purple, a few had tails.”

Keith frowned as he scratched under Ginger’s chin. He seemed to be contemplating this. “... Fine. I guess I’ll go…”

“I’ll go too.” Said Lance quickly. “It’ll be fun. We can make a day of it. Yeah?”

***

After a quick breakfast the trio headed to the M.Y.R.C. Keith wasn’t very comfortable with going around town in a new place, so he was back to wearing clothes that Lance said made him look like a criminal. Keith didn’t care. He just didn’t want to get attacked or looked down on by people in Lance’s town. The family had given him a strange look when he first appeared in his outfit, but they didn’t say anything.

They pulled up into the parking lot around midmorning. The building was pretty big. Keith didn’t like it. They went inside and were immediately greeted with a wall of pamphlets about how to deal with a child with a mutant child. Hell, there was even a pamphlet that boldly asked; “Are mutations a vaccine injury?”

It pissed Keith off and he was ready to just turn around and leave when a woman with a name tag walked over to them. Her skin was an off purple colour, pointed ears, tusks, and extremely thick dark purple hair. “Oh hey there.” They said. “You three need any help?”

Veronic smiled at them and held her hand out. “Hi, I’m Veronica. I came by a few weeks ago when this place first opened. I don’t know if you remember me but I was looking for resources for my younger brother.”

The woman happily shook her hand. “Sorry, there were a lot of people that day. But it’s nice to meet you again Veronica. I’m Ilun.” They looked over at Lance and Keith. “Are you two both mutants, or one of you, or what?”

“We’re both mutants.” Said Lance proudly.

“Sweet. You just looking around or do you after something in particular?” Asked Ilun. “Or do you just want to look around?”

“What do you have here?” Asked Lance.

As Ilun went on about different things the facility had, Keith wandered over to a large window that showed off the large basketball court. Several kids were in there playing on one half of the court while some other kids were playing handball. A few of the kids had tails, horns, or wings. It was kind of similar to the school, but was way more casual.

“Are you okay?” Asked a man with a deeper voice. Keith jumped a little and looked up at a rather stone faced looking man. He had bright yellow eyes, purple skin, and a long braided ponytail. “I don’t believe I have seen you here before. I am Kolivan. I run this center.”

“Um… Hi… I um, I’m Keith.” Said Keith quietly. He hesitated a little and took off his beanie. His ears twitched a little when they were free from being pressed against his head. “I um… I have been to an M.Y.R.C before… It wasn’t that good.”

“Yes, the old management was pretty terrible.” Admitted Kolivan. “Things have improved over the past five years since management reshuffling.”

“Really?”

‘Yeah… I am guessing you probably haven’t been treated very well because of your appearance?”

Keith shrugged. “Yeah… A few foster homes that I was in tried to take me to these places but they… They did a lot more harm than good.”

“I know.” Said Kolivan. “We are trying to make it better for people like us… Are those two with you?”

Keith looked over at Lance and Veronica. They were still talking to Ilun, who was giving them lots of pamphlets. “Yeah. They are brother and sister. Lance is a mutant. Veronica isn’t.”

“What does he do?”

“He can manipulate projectiles midair.” Said Keith. “If you give him a target he can hit it.”

“That is an interesting mutation.” Mused Kolivan. “Must come in handy from time to time.”

“Yeah. More handy than this cat shit.” Muttered Keith. “I’d give anything to look human…”

“... You’re bipedal, aren’t you? Have thumbs? Think for yourself? You’re still human.” Said Kolivan calmly. “You shouldn’t think of yourself as less than, or more than human. That way of thinking harms everyone.”

“I guess… So what can you do?”

Kolivan showed Keith the claws on his hand. He tensed his hands a little and the flaws doubled in length. “I have many tiger characteristics. In fact, many of the people that work here were in my unit and have animal characteristics.” He gestured over to Ilun. “Hog.” He then gestured to a few other people. “Lizard, rhino, panther, spider monkey and greywolf… One of our members also has chameleon characteristics, but today is her day off.”

Keith nodded as he looked at some of the workers talking to kids or each other. “I see… So you guys are what? Exmilitary or something?”

“Hmm, It’s classified, but I’d say or something.” Said Kolivan. “So Keith, you clearly have some kind of feline mutation.”

“Yeah I… I can also temporarily take on other animal characteristics if I drink some of their blood.”

“Huh, interesting. Some kind of shapeshifting based on blood?”

“Yeah…”

“Keith!” Lance happily went over to him with a few pamphlets in hand. “Dude, I know you don’t like this place at all, but Ilun was talking to us and it actually seems really cool. Ilun was saying things are under new management so it’s not like it was a few years before.”

“Yeah, Kolivan was saying…”

Lance looked up at Kolivan and smiled. “Hi. I’m Lance. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Said Kolivan. “Do you two live in the area?”

“Well, I do.” Said Lance. “But Keith and I go to a school a fair bit away.”

“What school?”

“Altea School for Gifted Youngsters.”

Kolivan nodded. “Ah yes… Allura and Coran are still going strong. They are very good people… They do try and take in as many as they can, but there is only so much they can do. It is admirable.” He looked back over at the basketball court for a few moments before he gestured for them to follow him. He took them to a room with a few pingpong tables. He passed the boys some paddles and a pingpong ball. “Here. Bathroom is down the hall to the right, and the vending machine is closer to the entrance. If you need counseling then speak to Ilun.” He quickly left leaving both boys slightly confused. 

“Huh…” Muttered Lance as he bounced the pingpong ball against the ground. “Reminds me of you.”

“What?”

“Kolivan. He reminds me of you.” Said Lance. “But you know, slightly more social.”

Keith rolled his eyes and lightly shoved him. “Yeah, fuck off.”

Lance grinned at him with a playful look in his eyes. “Aw, so mean. You any good at this?”

“Pingpong?”

“Yeah.”

“Nah.”

“Hmm, I’m sure you are.” Said Lance. “You gotta have some keen senses. Your mutation is animal based, right? You gotta have some cool ninja reflexes, right? Wanna make a bet?”

“A bet?” Okay, now Keith was a little interested.

Lance nodded. “Yep. Best of 10? Loser has to pay for whatever the other wants from the vending machine.”

“You’re on McClain.” Said Keith. “Don’t even think that your powers are going to help you. You’re fast, but you don’t have my reflexes.”

“Oh, it’s on now Kogane.”


	164. Moving in (HolyHell AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some slight misunderstandings between these two fools, but things are getting better! Also, I decided to actually put this into its own series. If there is a series you like and want to just read that, it might be easier to bookmark the series and then check it to see if it's complete or something? idk. You do you. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The next day when Lance got up he found Keith sleeping right outside his bedroom door. It was… Kind of weird. He lightly nudged his house guest with his foot. “Keith? Are you okay?”

“Hmm?” Mumbled Keith sleepily as he sat up. “Oh, is it morning?”

“Yeah…”

“... I should head back.” 

He sat up and Lance quickly put his hand on his shoulder. “No, wait… Breakfast first.” He still wanted to talk to Keith about the toxic environment he was living in. He needed to at least try and get Keith out of there. Under all the bravado and awkwardness, Keith was actually kind of sweet.

Keith actually seemed surprised. “You’re not kicking me out?”

“What? No. Why would I kick you out? Just go to the kitchen, okay?”

Keith nodded and headed to the kitchen. Lance sighed and quickly went to the bathroom before going to the kitchen. He found Keith turning one of the house's many crucifix’s upside down with a pair of tongs.

“Um…?”

Keith jumped and almost dropped the tongs. “S-sorry!”

Lance just took the tongs off him and made him sit down at the island countertop. Once Keith was seated, Lance started cooking bacon and eggs. Just something simple. He glanced over at Keith every once in a while. He seemed very interested in what he was doing, if not a little confused.

“Are you okay?” Asked Lance.

“Been a while since I’ve had someone cook me breakfast… Assuming you are cooking for me too…”

“Of course I am. How do you like your eggs?”

“Cooked.”

Lance chuckled. “I mean like, sunny side, hard yolk, scrambled, what?”

“Oh… Um… I’m not fussy. I’ll have them however you have them.”

“Okay, sunny side it is.” When Lance was done cooking he served it up to Keith and the many happily ate. He ate like a starving man that hadn’t been fed in years. He’d probably want seconds or thirds… Maybe fourths? Lance would need to get more eggs. “Glad you like your breakfast.”

“Yeah. It’s really good.” Said Keith as he stabbed at his bacon. “It feels like a lifetime since I’ve had bacon.”

“I can cook you some more if you want?”

Keith paused for a second before he continued to eat. “Nah, this is fine… I’m happy enough just getting a plate of something. So much better than eating half a bag of chips or taking a bag of jerky off of someone when they aren’t looking.”

“Yeah… I kind of wanted to talk to you about that…”

“Stealing jerky?”

“No, the people you are hanging out with.” Said Lance quietly. “I… I don’t think they are good for you. The way you talk about them, they don’t seem to really care about you… I can help you leave them if you like?”

Keith gave him a confused look. “Leave them? Why would I want to leave?”

“You said that you only get along with Shiro.” Said Lance. “And you said they throw stuff at you.”

“To be fair that’s only the drunk ones.”

“Still, you should be getting abused like that.” Said Lance. “Admittedly, the resources for a man when it comes to domestic violence is laughable, especially in small towns… But I’ll do what I can to help you.” He reached across the countertop and held Keith’s hand. “Keith… I really want to help you. Please let me help you.”

Keith seemed really shocked that Lance would say that, or even hold his hand. “Lance… You’re really too kind to me. I’m not… It isn’t what it seems. Yeah, we aren’t good people, but we aren’t bad people… Mostly… Regris is still a dick. We just drink a lot and some of us do drugs. The people I’m with are fine. They are nice enough…”

“Keith… You don’t need to defend them just because your parents are part of that group or because you grew up around them… You can stay with me... They aren’t going to burn down the church because you’re staying with me, are they?”

“Well, no, but what?” Keith looked so confused. “You want me to stay with you? Why? I thought you didn’t like me that much…”

“Dude, you’re in trouble. I’m not going to turn anyone away that comes to me when they are in trouble.” Said Lance. “Even if I hated you I’d still help you out of an abusive situation.”

“... Oh.” Keith looked very confused and kind of conflicted. “They um… They are going to leave town soon… Is it really okay for me to stay with you? If it’s too much trouble I’ll just camp out in the backyard or something…”

Lance shook his head. “No. You can stay here. In the house. On the fold out mattress. Not in front of my bedroom door.”

Keith went red. He was clearly embarrassed about this. “... S-sorry about that… I’m not used to sleeping alone… Since we usually have to share some rooms I’m used to hearing people snore or walking around… It um… It’s kind of unsettling to be in a silent room. I didn’t want to freak you out by trying to sleep on the floor of your room, so I just… Sorry… It made me feel a little better… Your house is really quiet at night.”

“... Oh.”

“... Sorry, I know it’s creepy…” Said Keith quietly. “I’ll stop…”

Lance sighed a little and went about cleaning up their plates. “We can work on that… Go and get your stuff and come back here. I do have a spare room, but there isn’t a bed in there. Just a mattress up against the wall and some boxes all over the place. That room is yours if you really, really need it.”

Keith looked like a puppy that had been offered a treat. “O-okay! I’ll go and do that now.” He got up and practically ran out of the door. It was almost comical, but it was kind of sad how excited Keith was to get away from them. They must have really treated Keith badly. He got up and went to clean up the spare room.

***

Keith was over the moon. Lance wanted him to stay, and all he really did was tell Lance the truth about his life. Lance loved him, well, love was a strong word, but he trusted him enough to stay long term in his house. He didn’t care if the gang moved onto the next town. He had Lance.

When he got back to the motel he found Kolivan and Antok sweeping up some broken glass. They saw him and waved him over. “Keith, we have something to tell you It’s very important.”

“Me first.” Said Keith. “I’m moving in with Lance.” The two demons were shocked. They clearly didn’t expect that from the demon. “So I’m just going to say my goodbyes, grab my stuff and head over.”

“Seriously?” Asked Antok. “He wasn’t joking or being sarcastic?”

“Nope. He meant it.”

“Well, that is a good development.” Said Kolivan “So… We are actually going to head off at sunrise tomorrow. I guess you can start saying your goodbyes now?”

“I will. Thanks for being understanding.” Keith went around telling everyone else that he’s going to head off. Everyone was a little surprised that Keith was staying, but they were happy for him. 

Shiro seemed to take it the hardest. Shiro was like his big brother. He hugged Keith tightly. “Keith… You be careful, okay? Lance is still a Pastor. If he tries, he can hurt you.”

“I’ll be fine. Really… Where’s Krolia?”

“On the roof.”

“Right… I’ll go and talk to her.” He got onto the roof and found her. She was just sitting on the edge, humming to herself. “Hey…”

She looked over at him and nodded. “Hey. So, you didn’t come back last night. Did you finally bed him?”

“Well no, but Lance wants me to stay with him. Like, stay in his house. It’s a good step closer to him, yeah?”

Krolia chuckled. “Yeah. It is good. So you aren’t coming with us?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, are you mad at me?”

“No, not at all. You want your bride, then you can do it. I’m proud of you.” She said. “Though, I am a little concerned about your choice… If this is what you want, then your father and I will support you. We’d also like to meet your bride when you finally bed them.”

Keith rolled his eyes, but was grinning. “Don’t worry. I will. Thanks for being understanding.”

She smiled and hugged him. “No problem. Now you get your shit together and get back to your bride’s home. Be a good little demon and bed that bride.”

“I will.” Said Keith as he hugged back. “Tell dad I’ll be back soon.”

‘I will. Have fun winning over your bride.”

“I will.” Keith happily got off the roof and quickly gathered his things. Once he was sure he had all of his stuff, he got on his bike and headed back to Lance’s place. 

Lance greeted him and quickly welcomed him back into the house. He had cleared the extra room and stuck a lot of boxes in a corner. There was a mattress on the ground that was set up like a bed with bed sheets and a pillow. Surprisingly the faciest floor mattress Keith had ever seen.

“Look, it’s not much…” Admitted Lance. “But it’s a start. I can order you a new bed frame.”

“It’s okay. I like it.” He happily placed his duffle bag on the ground and sat on the mattress. He really liked this room since it was the only place that didn’t have religious stuff all over the walls. So he wasn’t going to get a massive headache. He was so happy. “This is way nicer than most of the places I’ve slept in.”

Lance smiled a little and sighed. “Okay, so, are they going to try and find you?”

Keith shook his head and looked through his bag, taking out a spare pair of boots and put them next to his bed. “Nah, the guys were kind of surprised, but they understood. Krolia just told me to come back home some time to spend time with the family. That’s all.”

Lance seemed very surprised to hear that. “Huh? Alright… Um, I guess now that you’re here, we have to set a few ground rules… And like, we should get to know each other a bit more. Right?”

Keith nodded happily. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

“Okay, can you cook? Allergic to anything? Gluten allergies? Peanut?”

“I’m lactose intolerant.” Said Keith. “And I can kind of cook. Nothing very fancy, but the hose won’t burn down.”

“Okay. That’s good… Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“There are a few conditions of staying here.” Said Lance calmly. “Firstly, you need to be able to clean up after yourself.”

“Okay. Can do.”

“You need to cut back on your drinking and maybe think about attending A.A meetings.”

“... Okay?”

“You’ll also need to get a job. If you have trouble I have some sway with a few places. I’ll probably be able to get you a job at the second hand store.”

“What?”

“Hey, you need to get a job if you want to stay here.” Said Lance. “You need to be able to pay for your own things eventually. I’m here to help you get back on their own feet. Yeah?”

“Oh… Okay.”

“Good.” Lance smiled happily at him. “Okay, so I need to go and run some errands at the church… Are you going to be okay alone for a while?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I’m just going to settle in.”

“Okay. Good. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay, um Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for doing this to me.”

Lance smiled kindly at him. Hell, Keith could feel the kindness radiating off on the Pastor. “No problem. I already told you that I wanted to help you.” With that Lance quickly left and Keith was all alone.

Once he was alone, Keith let his demonic form manifest. He flopped onto the mattress, grabbed the pillow, wrapped his wings around himself and started to giggle. This was amazing. This was almost as good as bedding Lance and making him his bride. At least now he could take his time. Lance was so nice to him.


	165. Final evolution (Monster AU XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are... The final chapter for this AU... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance slowly opened his eyes. His chest felt heavy and over all he just felt lethargic. He felt something smooth and warm touching his face. Lance reached up and touched it just as his vision came back into full focus. Looking down at him was some kind of purple insect thing with big, bright yellow eyes.

Lance quickly jumped up, or at least he tried to. As soon as he tried to move, the yellow eyed insect above him quickly grabbed them and held them tightly. “Lance…” They said quietly. “It’s okay. It’s me. Keith.”

It sure did sound like him. Lance hesitantly looked up at him. Now that he wasn’t in a panic, this giant insect did look a lot like Keith. It even had the same stupid mullet as Keith did too. He reached up and touched Keith’s face. He didn’t have soft skin anymore, it had hardened, like a proper insect carapace. He even had antenna on his head. Looking over Keith’s body he even had an abdomen like an insect too that extended past his legs.

“... Is it really you?” Asked Lance.

Keith nodded. “Yeah… I emerged from my pupa and um… Well this happened. I found you getting eaten alive by them.” He gestured to some of the Keith clones that were either watching them curiously or eating each other.

“Right… Those things…”

“Yeah… But what happened to your body?” Asked Keith. “You look different too.”

“Huh?” Lance looked down at himself and was shocked to see that large patches of his skin didn’t seem to be made of flesh anymore. His skin looked like it was covered in patches in bluish grey lichen with smooth bumps of bright blue. The whole thing was flat and kind of flaky. Just like how it might look on a tree. It took up most of his chest and stomach, though there were patches on his arms and legs.

He very carefully picked at the edge of some of it and peeled it away. It peeled off like a sheet of paper. Hell, it felt as thin as tissue paper and one could easily see through it. Keith reached out and grabbed it from his hand, quickly eating it. He made a surprised, but happy sound.

“What?” Asked Lance.

“It tastes better than meat.” Said Keith. “Meat is nice, but whatever this is tastes so much better.” He lifted Lance’s arm to his mouth to lick at one of the patches. Instead of just opening his mouth, his lower jaw swinged open and some weird looking tendrils with rough looking tips reached out and ran along his arm, carefully peeling away a few layers of the fungus-like structure. He seemed very pleased with himself. “Yeah, so much better than meat.”

“... So this is what you want to eat now?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Maybe I ate enough meat when I was younger?”

“Maybe.” Said Lance as he slowly moved his arm out of Keith’s grip. “Some insects change their diets between their different life stages. Like, some species of wasp only eat meat in their larval stage, but when they become adults they only nectar.”

“Huh… Alright.” Keith stood up and helped Lance to his feet. “Maybe we should go back to the cave now? Like, were I made my pupa.”

“... Might not be such a good idea.” Said Lance. “Sendak’s on the island.”

Keith looked shocked. “What? I thought you killed him?”

“Apparently not.” Said Lance. “Just hurt him enough for his arm to be amputated… Krolia is here too.”

“... My mum?” Keith’s antenna drooped slightly. “She must still want to kill me…”

“Forget about her for the moment. Sendak is more dangerous.” Said Lance. “What do you think they will do to us now? You look like an insect and I’m some kind of lichen, human hybrid. We’re more fucked than we were before.”

Keith looked a little conflicted. “... Then we should try and get off the island… I… I don’t know where to go if we leave the island…”

Lance held his hands and gently squeezed. “It’s okay… We just need a cave right? Kind of dry and warm, right?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Something like that…”

“... I have an idea. We just need to get off the island.”

“Okay.” Keith looked up. The sun was starting to set. “Yeah… I don’t know if we can climb out of here… Follow me. I think it might know a way out…” He held Lance’s hand and the two of them started to walk back through the cave system. The clones did try and grab at Lance a few times, but when they did, Keith made a clicking noise and they backed away.

Eventually, the two of them somehow managed to make their way back to the surface through the cave entrance in the main building. It was interesting to see the last few rays of light dancing against the flesh.

As they walked along, Lance started to cough to clear his throat. He coughed up a gross looking snotball that looked kind of black and blue. He frowned and smeared it against the flesh wall. Much to his surprise it seemed to spread out and kind of looked like the lichen that was now part of his body. Could he spread this fungus? Could he possibly produce spores? That thought made him shudder a little.

Keith continued to tug on his hand and the two of them got out of the building. It was kind of nice to be out of the hole. Now they just had to try and figure out how to get off the island. If all else failed they could probably push over a tree and kick their way back to the mainland. That was if they could find a tree that wasn’t covered in flesh.

As they walked around Lance couldn’t help but notice that there were a few dried out patches of flesh here and there. They looked dry and scaly. Kind of gross. Keith stepped in a patch and it was like stepping in a puddle of chalk powder.

“What the hell?” He muttered.

“What?” Asked Keith.

“What’s happening to this flesh stuff?”

Keith looked around and shrugged. “Um… I don’t know… I guess since I made this and I don’t need it to survive anymore it’s dying? Don’t know…”

“What’s going to happen to your clone things?”

Keith shrugged again. “I honestly don’t know… Those things are… I guess they are me, but not me? I have no idea… I don’t think they are all there in the head anyway. I think they are more like the insect part of me, not the human part. They don’t talk, they just want to eat meat. Even if it’s each other. All they want is meat.”

“I guess…” 

They continued to look for a way off the island when they came across a few of those weird stomach pod things. Like the one Lance was stuck in, but these people didn’t have regenerative abilities like him. He saw some birds, maybe one or two of those goons, but one of them was wearing civilian clothes. It looked like it might have been Krolia.

“Oh…” He said quietly.

“What are you looking at?” Asked Keith. He looked down at Krolia and frowned. “Who is that?”

“... I think that’s your mama.”

“Oh… My mama… She’s dead…”

“I’m sorry Keith…” Said Lance quietly. “I know that you guys didn’t get along well… She kind of shot you in the face…”

“Yeah… I still wanted to know her.” Said Keith quietly. “Maybe it would have helped me know what parts of me are human and what parts are… not… We should keep looking.”

Lance held his hand and gently squeezed. “I’m sorry… Maybe Krolia had a boat somewhere or… Am I the only one that smells barbeque?”

Keith sniffed the air and frowned. “You mean the burning meat smell? Yeah. I can… I don’t like it…” They gently pulled Lance away from the burning smell and they kept looking. Eventually they actually found a little metal rowboat with several bottles and cans in it. They pushed it into the water and they silently started to paddle away from the island as the burning smell slowly became more intense.

***

The flamethrowers had arrived and were currently burning away everything on the island. Orders were simple; if it moved or made of flesh, burn it. It didn’t matter if it was the fleshy growth or the clones. They were all going to die. Howls and screams filled the air along with the sizzling and popping fatty flesh.

Honerva sighed as she watched it all burn. The higher ups had decided that the project was a complete failure and had given the order to clean up. Both of their divisions would be dissolved and workers were going to be redistributed around at different facilities around the country. It was a sad day, but these things happened.

“Well this sucks…” She muttered.

“Fuck off Honerva.” Spat Sendak. “I lost a fucking arm because of this shit! It’s fucking bullshit! They just gave us notice half an hour ago! This is fucking bullshit! I’m so fucking mad right now!”

“Go and stomp on some charred bodies.” Muttered Honerva. She was just as angry as Sendak was. She wanted some live specimens for her work, but no, she wasn’t getting anything. All their hard work was going down the drain. Hell, it had gone down the drain. Burning all this flesh was going to take a long, long time… A few days… This was going to take a while.

***

After spending some time with Adam, Shiro managed to get away with him for a few minutes under the impression he was heading to the grocery store for a bit to grab something. He managed to get close to the island when he started to smell burning. It kind of smelled like barbecue.

He didn’t go straight to the island along the main pathway, if he did then if there was anyone from the facility on the way there they wouldn’t be able to turn him back. He didn’t mind taking the long way. He could see smoke billowing through the air. He became nervous. They had to have been burning the island. What did that mean for Lance and Keith? Why the hell did everything smell like barbecue?

Off in the distance he saw something quickly slipping into the underbrush. It made Shiro take pause. He quickly followed them. He heard something coughing. Shiro easily found them and froze in horror. There was a giant purple insect standing there, holding the hand of someone that looked like they were covered in fungus. It took Shiro a moment to realize that it was Keith and Lance. They hadn’t spotted him yet.

Keith crouched down and scratched his back. Lance moved behind him and looked like he was helping him scratch his back. Suddenly, Lance got knocked back by a pair of dragonfly-like wings. The two of them seemed a little surprised that Keith had wings. Keith lightly moved his wings and body lifted off the ground a few feet before he fell over and landed flat on his face.

Shiro watched them for a few more minutes before he made his presence known to them. “Keith, Lance.”

The two looked over at him in sock. “Shiro!” Keith quickly went over to him. He was now a head taller than Shiro now. “... It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you too. What happened?”

“Krolia tried to kill Keith.” Said Lance quietly. He was staying a fair distance away from Shiro, coughing into his hand every once in a while. “Keith turned into some giant flesh monster things, hatched a bunch of half formed clones that ate each other, me, and the flesh walls. Keith emerged and we got the hell out of there… Oh and apparently I’m not half fungus… And Sendak was there too.”

“Sendak?” Asked Shiro. “... You know, I’m not surprised… What are you going to do now? Where are you going to go? And why are you standing so far away?”

Lance shrugged. “I think I’m making spores. I don’t know what they will do to a normal human so…”

“Yeah, okay. Fair enough… But where are you going?”

“Lance has a plan.” Said Keith.

Lance nodded. “Yeah, we need a large cave system away from people that’s dry and kind of warm or cool… Temperature doesn’t really matter that much. It just needs to be kind of similar to the cave on the island. Just bigger.”

A few ideas of where they could possibly go quickly ran through Shiro’s mind. “Okay… You two need to get out of here… Do you still need to eat a lot of meat, Keith?”

Keith shook his head. “I don’t really like how meat tastes anymore… I like the taste of the fungus that’s growing on Lance better.”

“Okay… You two should go now. Stay out of trouble.”

“We will.” Said Keith. He held Lance’s hand and was about to leave with him, when Lance stopped him. “Lance?”

Lance looked over at Shiro. “Hey… You and my mama work at the same place right? If you see her, can you tell her that… That I’m not mad at her? She did what she had to do… and um… tell her that I’ll miss everyone, but I’m okay?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Both creatures smiled at Shiro for the last time and quickly headed off into the woods as the sun completely set. All was quiet. All Shiro could hear was the sound of crickets, animals scurrying around in the underbrush, and the slight crackling of fire.

***

Project Pupa had been discontinued. All research had been absorbed into other divisions of the company. As part of the fallout several people left or were fired. Some of the older members of the team decided to take early retirement. Mrs McClain was one of those people. She was compensated well for her research, but she never really was the same.

The story for Lance’s disappearance was that an incident happened at the mental health facility he was staying at, and unfortunately, Lance McClain was officially dead. They had a funeral and everything for him. The McClain family was wrecked and so were Lance’s friends. Mrs McClain was a lot more reserved now that her youngest son was gone forever.

Shiro himself was still with Adam and was still working as a biospeleologist. Though at the moment he was out of the state. He was in Arizona looking at some of the countless, empty mineshafts. He had heard from some of the locals that there was some kind cryptid. Like the Jersey Devil or Mothman. 

He had heard it was stealing animals from homesteads occasionally a spelunker would go missing. He was pretty sure it was all just talk, but he would keep his wits about him as he looked at and catalogued the things that he saw.

He had been through many caves in his months away from Adam, and this was one of the last he had to check. Well, it wasn;t really a cave, just a mineshaft really. He carefully traveled down it, and it wasn’t too long before Shuro started to notice a strange, grey blue fungus growing on the walls. He hadn’t seen something like this before.

As he continued along the linear path he found more and more of that fungus. It seemed to be spreading out, but only in small patches… But then he found a rather large lump covered in this fungus. From its form it looked like some kind of dog? Maybe a coyote? Whatever it was the fungus was thriving off of it. Not that Shiro was surprised in the slightest. Fungus thrived off of eating dead things.

He turned down a particularly dark path and heard a slight buzzing and coughing noise. Something which honestly frightened him a little. Then he saw it. Saw them. Bodies of both animal and human, dead and covered in fungus. Lance coughing ever so slightly as he would pick and and eat his new choice of food, while Keith sat behind him, his wings quickly moving, just enough to dust off the spores that had settled on them.

“Is it good?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah, it’s good.” Said Lance quietly.

“Do I need to hunt more food for you?”

“Not for a few days. I have more than enough to eat.”

Keith hummed happily and wrapped his arms Lance’s waist. He happily nibbled at some of the fungus on his shoulder. “I want to go deeper and explore more… Find a better place to live… It’s a bit cold here at night…”

“Of course.” Said Lance quietly. “We’ll go deeper. It’ll be nice. We’ll find a place better than this.” He coughed and a plume of grey spores spilled out, quickly setteling on everything around them.

Keith patted his back. “You’re making more spores than usual.”

“Can’t help it.” Said Lance. He turned his head and kissed him. “You’re taking good care of me. Of course I’m going to make more spores when I’m in an environment where I’m going to thrive… When I’ve finished eating we’ll go deeper.”

“Okay. I love you Lance.”

“I love you too Keith.”

Shiro very quietly left the mineshaft. So this was the place that Lance took Keith? It wasn’t a bad plan. There were plenty of places for them to hide out here, and they could very safely be together forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of this AU. I'll be posting is all together as it's own thing as I do with all the finished AUs eventually. Thank you everyone who liked this one. I'll be making a new horror AU for this one soon. Feel free to check out all the other ones if you feel like it.


	166. Coming together (Royal AU XXI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... This is the end of the Royal AU. I have ended it here because I just kind of liked how everything got summed up? Eh, I felt like it was time. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance clearly underestimated how clingy Yurak would become once they had mated. The whole knotting thing had been a hell of an ordeal for him and the second Lance was freed, Yurak decided to pick Lance up and take him to the bathroom to get them both clean. It was nice, but if one of Yurak’s hands wasn’t on him his tail was. It was strange, but if it made Yurak feel better then Lance would roll with it… That and Lance couldn’t actually walk around at the moment.

He leaned against Yurak’s chest and sighed loudly as Yurak rubbed a soapy sponge on Lance’s chest. “Man… We should like, plan ahead next time we fuck. I don’t think I can use my legs…”

“Sorry.” Said Yurak quietly. “I got a little carried away…”

“It’s fine. Just need to have a datapad close by to do some reading.” Said Lance. “Staying stuck on your dick is kind of hard. Especially when you suddenly decide you want to thrust into me a little more.”

Yurak’s fur puffed up. “It was an accident! I was readjusting myself slightly!”

Lance chuckled and reached up to pull his lover down. He quickly kissed him and grinned. “I know, Keith.”

Yurak’s fur seemed to puff up even more at the mention of his secret name. “You’re going to use that against me now, aren’t you?”

“Damn straight I am.”

Yurak’s ears flattened against his head and his tail flicked in annoyance. “You are mean.”

“Says the Galra that double stuffed me.”

“You were into it!”

“True. Still mean. My poor ass. Will I ever be able to cartwheel again?”

“... I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Keith, that was a rhetorical question.”

“Oh…” Yurak went about cleaning the rest of Lance.

Lance figured it would just be best to let the Galran do what he pleased. Though he did yelp in protest a few times when Yurak did try to move the sponge between his legs. It was kind of shocking how comfortable Yurak was now about touching his body. Still, Lance was sensitive damn it and needed to rest his poor ass.

“Hey, I need to clean you here too.” Said Yurak. “The bed is messy enough without you leaking any fluids onto the mattress too.”

“And who is to blame for that?”

“Why is this my fault?”

“Because you’re the one that stuck your dick in me.”

“And you came on the bed.” Pointed out Yurak. “So shut up and let me clean you.” Lance pouted and let Yurak finish helping him get clean, though he did whine about it some more because he was a stubborn little shit.

***

The next day Yurak was surprised that Lance was actually able to walk around on his own. He was more than ready to carry the Altean around, but apparently they were more resilient than he gave them credit for. When he tried to pick the Altean up, Lance flailed around until Yurak put him down.

“Altean’s heal faster than Galra.” Said Lance in a huffy tone. Which Yurak found adorable. He couldn’t help but cuddle Lance and nuzzle the top of his head. Did it mess up his hair? Yes. Did it scent Lance even more than he already was scented? Double yes. He wanted Lance to smell completely like him. Which was obviously impossible, but he knew it would make everyone else think twice about laying a hand on him for any reason. “And my hair is messed up. Thanks.”

“You’re grouchy. I can ask the cooks to make you something you want for breakfast. Anything you like.”

“... Those green and blue things you said were eggs.” Said Lance. “And the juicy orange and purple things.”

“Okay. Eggs, jarragar berries, yadara fruit?”

“Yes. Those.”

“Okay.” Yurak kissed his cheek and happily got himself ready for the day. “Do you want to eat in here today?”

“Breakfast in bed? Heck yeah!”

Yurak smiled and happily went to the kitchens to see if he could get the cooks to make Lance what he wanted for breakfast. On the way, one of the younger maids happily went over to him, all smiles.

“Duke Yurak!” She said in a cheerful voice. “Good morning! We received word a few ticks ago that Shiro shall be visiting mid morning, and so will Prince Lotor and Princess Allura.”

“... And they couldn’t have given us some actual warning?” Asked Yurak in shock. “Oh boy… Alright, since Lance is staying with me, please have someone move his things into my bedchambers.” Instructed Yurak. “Clean the room and get an extra room ready for Shiro. Is anyone else with my cousin?”

“I believe Allura’s personal maid?”

“Okay, three rooms need to be dusted and fresh linen in all of them.” Said Yurak. As he talked the maid got her datapad out and started to take notes, possibly sending his instructions out to everyone as well. “Have the gardeners make sure that the front lawn is tidy, have the cooks take an extra 300 gak out of the funds and let them buy whatever they want that is in season to cook and drink.”

“Of course.” Said the maid. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“Just general cleaning. You don’t need to go overboard… And anyone that pulls extra time today gets extra holiday time since Lotor just pulled this out of nowhere.”

The maid nodded and happily typed into their datapad. “Very good. Oh, and Shiro mentioned he would be bringing a guest? Has the captain finally found a partner?”

“...” Yurak sighed and nodded. “Yes… Let the cooks know they will need to make four Altean friendly meals.”

“Four?”

“Yes. Lance, the Princess, the Altean maid, and Shiro’s partner…”

The maid looked surprised. “Shiro’s partner is Altean? … Maybe I should consider looking for an Altean partner…”

Yurak chuckled a little and headed to the kitchen. The head cook was already writing out a list of things he wanted to get with the sudden pay increase. Yurak was pretty sure that they were also ordering a few extra treats if they had any gak left over. Not that he cared. It was never anything too crazy and the head cook usually bought treats for the kits, an extra barrel of alcohol of the adults, or a few extra strips of fatty barbar belly for everyone. They probably were ordering barbar belly for dinner that night.

He got one of the other cooks to quickly make Lance’s breakfast. They were nice enough to make Yurak some food too. Yurak was pleased and happily took their food back to his room. Lance was still messing around with his hair. It was pretty damn adorable.

“I’m back.” Said Yurak. “I have food.”

Lance grinned and happily sat on the bed. “Sweet! Give me that weird Galra food!”

Yurak rolled his eyes and sat next to him. “By the way, Shiro and Adam will be coming by today, along with Lotor, Allura, and Romelle.”

“Hey, even better! It’s been so long since I’ve seen them.”

Yurak smiled and happily flicked his tail. “I thought you would like that. It’ll be nice to see them… Just wish they would have given me more notice.”

***

Around the afternoon Shiro and Adam showed up. Yurak could tell instantly that the two of them were definitely lovers from the scent that lingered around them. Their scents were intermingling and fresh. Not quite Shiro and not quite Adam. He and Lance probably smelled the same to everyone else. At least the Altean’s couldn’t see their awkward side glances.

“Hey Yurak.” Greeted Shiro. “I see you and Lance are partners now?”

“Same with you and Adam.”

He laughed. “Yeah, pretty much. Where is Lance anyway?”

“Lance is moving his stuff around our room.” 

Adam chuckled. “Oh? Our room? How domestic. Are you going to get wed soon?”

Yurak’s fur puffed up. “Um… No? Not yet?”

“Hmmm, if you say so.” Adam smirked to himself and happily looked around the estate. “This place is lovely.”

“Thanks. Please come on in. My home is your home.” Said Yurak. “I have asked for a room to be set up for you if you wish to stay the night.”

“Nice. I’m going to go and bother Lance.” Said Adam. He walked into the house and started talking to one of the maids.

“Is it safe to leave him to his own devices?” Asked Yurak.

“... Depends on who you think is in danger.” Said Shiro. “Adam is… He is surprisingly vicious.”

“Should I have warned my staff?”

“Perhaps…”

“Fun…”

About a varga later, Lotor and Allura made their appearance. There was the usual fanfare and settling down. The Altean’s quickly escaped to one of the bedrooms while the Galra took up the sitting room.

Lotor was tired from touring around the planet for so long. He just wished to return to the capitol so he could go back to his duties and help Allura settle into hers. He went on about things he needed to do to ensure Altean’s could visit and or gain citizenship if they wished to live here. As of now joint citizenship was only allowed via marriage.

Shiro was talking about maybe taking less days at work. He still liked his job, but he was pretty sure Adam would stab him in the dick if he didn’t take time off to be with him. Altean’s needed a lot of physical affection. That was something that everyone agreed with. But they all loved their touch starved, needy, adorable, lovable Alteans.

***

The Altean’s had hidden away in Allura and Lotor’s room. Instantly they were all talking about all the strange things on this weird planet. “And it’s so slimy!” Whined Romelle. “Lotor said it was like fargnorri, but it had the texture of cragfling!”

Adam cringed. “Oh, that’s disgusting. Did you know they will sometimes groom themselves? The fluffy ones anyway. I saw Shiro hack up a hairball into his drink the other day. He just threw it away and kept drinking.”

“Oh gods, I hope Yurak doesn’t do that…” Muttered Lance.

“I’m just glad Lotor is a Galra that has skin and not fur…” Said Allura. “I don’t think I could handle seeing him grooming himself like a wimbleflicx.”

“I miss Altean food…” Whined Romelle.

“When we get back to the capitol we will figure something out.” Said Allura.

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Said Adam. “I came here on a goods ship. Lots of Altean spices and ingredients straight to the capitol, along with some chefs. I think they are going to have a feast for you when you get to the castle with some altean dishes.”

Romelle was practically salivating. “If you’re joking I will stab you.”

“You’d have to catch me first bitch.”

As those two started to bicker, Allura turned her attention to Lance. “So Lance, what is your status with Yurak? Are you two still dancing around each other?”

“Oh no, we fucked.” Said Lance. “I can’t imagine how painful your first time with Lotor was. I think I almost fucking died when Yurak hit me with those double knots.”

Allura shook her head. “Now Lance, it’s not appropriate to talk about such things with the crowned Princess of Altea and Diabazzel… But holy shit I was pretty sure I saw the quintessence field.”

Lance nodded in agreement. “I was told about it, but I was not prepared.”

“Yep, but what’s more important is that you love him. You do love him, right?”

“Of course.” Said Lance. “Yurak is really sweet. He’s so awkward, and he cares about me. He makes me feel safe when he holds me… I don’t really feel like I have to make him laugh if I don’t have to… But that might be because I don’t get Galra humour yet…”

“Well I’m sure you will figure it out soon enough.”

“Yeah, hopefully.” Lance smiled as he thought of his silly, awkward, stubborn purple fluff ball. He loved him a lot. The next time they went to Altea he was going to show Yurak around properly. He’d take him over to his family too. His parents would probably flip out in a mix of surprise and mild horror. Galra were still pretty damn scary looking. His siblings would probably be shocked too and kind of wary around him, but everyone would warm up to Yurak once they see how loving and sweet he was with him.

Allura chuckled, pulling him out of his thoughts and smiled at him. “Well, it looks like my father has lost his fool to a Duke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this AU. I'll put it all together into collection like it did with the other finished AUs.


	167. Going East (AtLA AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is still a proud papa to a turtleduck, and everyone is starting to think about moving on from Ba Sing Se. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was very happy with how Blue’s shell turned out. He had taken his time with her and painted her shell with turtleduck safe paints to make the water tribe symbol right on her back. It was a miracle that Blue stayed still enough for him to do it. That turtleduck liked to waddle around.

“Aw, you’re such a good girl.” Cooed Lance. “Such a cute little baby.”

“Quack!”

“Aw, she quacked at me! She loves me!”

“I’m pretty sure all turtleducks can do is quack.” Said Hunk as he put some stuff away to sell in the next town.

“I can tell the difference between her quacks.” Muttered Lance. “Isn’t that right Blue?”

“Quack!” The turtleduck then proceed to try to eat Lance’s finger.

“That means she really, really loves me.”

“Right…”

Lance pouted and put Blue in a bucket of water. “Anyway, where to after this? How much longer are we staying?”

Hunk took a map out and laid it out for Lance to see. “Okay, so in about a week we’re going to head down towards my village in Chameleon Bay. There are a few villages on the way we can hit up along the way… I hope you don’t mind if we spend a little longer there. It’s been a while since I’ve seen my family.”

“Of course man. Plus, I can do some more waterbending in the bay.” Said Lance. “It’ll be awesome. Plus you know how I love the smaller villages. What next?”

Hunk moved his finger along the map. “We’re going to move around to the Eastern Air Temple. From there we’ll cross back onto the mainland. Depending on our supplies we can go across the Si Wong Desert to visit the Library, but we’ll probably just go around the long way… I’m thinking we might go and visit the waterbenders in the swamp and-”

“Hold the fuck up… What do you mean waterbenders in the swamp?”

Hunk shrugged. “Well, there are waterbenders that live in the swamp. I sometimes meet up with them, but it can be hard if I have a full cart of stuff.”

“... I want to meet them.”

“If the cart isn’t too full we can.” Said Hunk. “But if the cart isn’t too heavy we can head over there. The people there are pretty chill.”

“Of course they are chill.” Said Lance. “They are waterbenders. We’re a totally chill people. Isn’t that right Blue?”

“Quack!”

***

Keith wanted to give up. Everything he did to try and temper the fire inside him had failed. He was still setting things on fire that he didn’t want to. At this rate he was going to burn himself to death. It was depressing. No matter how much Ryner and Shiro told him that he needed to find inner peace. He had no inner peace.

Currently, Pidge had covered him with dirt because he had caught fire. Again. Pidge seemed way too amused by his suffering. Shiro just shook his head. “Okay, maybe we should go to the Eastern Air Temple?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Muttered Keith.

“What’s at the Eastern Air Temple anyway?” Asked Pidge.

“A few things.” Said Shiro. “Lots of temples. Some air… Flying bison...”

“That’s pretty neat. Doesn’t the Avatar have a flying bison?” Asked Pidge.

“Yeah, he does.” Said Shiro. “I know a guy that breeds flying bison. It’ll be nice to see him again… I haven’t seen him for a long time.”

Ryner hummed a little as she walked over to check on them. “If you are going to the Eastern Air Temple, you might consider asking to join up with Hunk and Lance. They are going to be heading that way eventually. It might also be good for you to travel with a bender that’s your complete opposite. You could learn a thing or two from a waterbender.”

“... Right.” Keith didn’t believe her. Being a firebender fucking sucked. He just wanted to go home already.

Pidge moved the dirt off of Keith and let him stand up. Keith dusted himself off and just felt disappointed in himself. The fire inside him was too much for him to handle. He felt like this quest to find inner peace was completely pointless and he’d have to just give up and find some place away from everyone to live alone.

“Hey, don’t be like that.” Said Shiro. “There are plenty of things you can learn there. Not just inner peace. They have all kinds of different things you can learn… Like getting rid of that heavy feeling inside you to make yourself feel lighter.”

Pidge’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Do you think that lighter concept could be used for metalbending?”

“Umm, maybe?”

Pidge looked over at Matt. “Okay, tell our parents I’ll be away a bit longer than expected. I’m heading to an air temple to learn how to make myself lighter.”

Matt just gave her a thumbs up. “Okay. Try to get home by the end of the year, yeah?”

“We still need to ask Hunk.” Said Shiro. “We can’t just say we’re going to go with them you know?”

“Then let’s go and ask them.” Said Pidge. “Come on, I’m one step closer to being a metalbender!”

The two other benders rolled their eyes and followed Pidge out to the markets. They quickly found Lance entertaining some children while their parents shopped at Hunk’s stand. Lance had made a large disc of water in the air the Blue was happily swimming around in. Lance had to quickly change and move the water around to make sure that Blue didn’t swim off the edge or duck dive and fall to the ground.

He grinned at them. “Hey you three. Come to watch my amazing waterbending skills?”

“Actually we want to speak to Hunk.” Said Shiro. “Ryner mentioned you two were heading to the Eastern Air Temple?”

“Eventually. Why?”

“Well, Keith and I were heading that way.” Said Shiro. “Pidge wants to go there too for her own reasons.”

“Metalbending?”

“Heck yeah, Metalbending!” Said Pidge.

Lance shrugged and gestured to Hunk. “When he’s done serving customers just ask him about it. Should be fine.”

“Thanks.” Shiro waited a few minutes while Hunk finished up selling things to his customers before he went over and talked to him about going to the Air Temple.

While they talked Lance very carefully put the water back in the bucket, Blue happily wiggled her tail feathers and duck dived a few more times. Lance happily gave her some treats. “Such a good girl.”

“... You really like that duck, huh?” Asked Keith.

Lance grinned. “Yeah. She’s adorable. We all love her. She’s pretty much the team mascot now. Cutest mascot ever.” He cooed at the turtleduck and scratched under her chin. Blue happily closed her eyes and quacked happily. She adored the attention and Lance clearly liked giving it to her.

“...” It reminded Keith a little of the chickens he and his dad used to keep. But things didn’t really end well with that… Like all things, Keith didn’t do well around animals. Which sucked, because Keith really did like the chickens… They just didn’t like him.”

“The more the merrier!” Said Hunk happily, pulling Keith out of his thoughts. Hunk was shaking Shiro’s hand and smiling brightly. Shiro looked happy too. “However, you guys should buy some of the supplies too. I have enough food for myself and Lance, plus some extra in case of emergencies.”

“That’s fair enough. We’ll get our own supplies. Thanks Hunk. We really appreciate it.”

“No problem. But just remember, I do want to spend some time back at my village. It’s on the way to the Air Temple.” Warned Hunk.

“Of course.”

Pidge grinned. “Sweet! Can’t wait to get there. You’re the best Hunk.”

***

Once the week was over, the whole group had crammed themselves into the cart and were leaving Ba Sing Se. Spirits were high and everyone seemed very pleased about heading off. Even Keith was cracking a small smile. He looked kind of nice with that smile.

Lance frowned and quickly shook his head at that thought. That was… Yeah, no. He wasn’t going to think about that. As far as Lance was concerned he was a papa now. He had Blue to look after. Blue, the cutest turtleduck in the whole damn world. He took her out of the bucket and let her walk around the cart, until she decided to sit on Pidge’s knee and try to sleep.

“Aw, she likes you.” Cooed Lance.

“Damn right she does. Animals love me.” Said Pidge as she fed Rover a treat. The iguana parrot happily ate it and made chirping noises.

“Are you sure you can come with us?” Asked Shiro. “I mean, your parents were expecting you to be with your brother…”

Pidge shrugged and leaned against the side of the cart. “Nah, it’s cool. I only came to Ba Sing Se to see what Ryner had on metalbending. Not a lot.”

“Well as long as you are sure…”

“Forget about that.” Said Pidge. “You said some guy at the Eastern Air Temple breeds flying bison?”

Lance’s eyes lit up. “Really? That’s so cool!”

Shiro smiled. “Yeah, Adam is pretty good at that. The man is a good airbender but… Well, he isn’t a very good airbender when it comes to theory. He doesn’t care too much about the pacifist ways of the air nomads… He’s kind of a dick…”

“I like him already.” Said Pidge. “Think he’ll give us a flying bison?”

“Unlikely.” Said Shiro. “The flying bison are pretty sacred to airbenders. They taught us how to bend. It’s more of a conservation effort. Besides, flying bison choose the airbenders they want to connect with… I haven’t met many myself, but who knows? Maybe one day I’ll actually meet one that’ll want to hang out with me.”

“They choose you?” Questioned Pidge. “That sounds pretty far fetched.”

Shiro shrugged. “Flying bison work in mysterious ways.”

“So what does Adam actually do?” Asked Lance.

“He gives the adults a safe place to have their calves.” Said Shiro. “Flying bison can’t fly for a few weeks after they are born… He’s apparently had to airbend a few of the more adventurous bison back into the pen once they figured out how to fly.” 

“Sounds like a handful.” Said Pidge.

“Yeah, it is… But I think he enjoys the work. It’ll be nice to see him again.”

They hit a particularly large dip in the road, knocking poor Blue off of Pidge’s leg and onto the bottom on the floor, onto her back. She quacked in indignation and Lance quickly turned her upright. 

“Hey Hunk, can you try to avoid potholes?” He asked.

“Sorry about that.” Said Hunk quickly. “These things happen. I’ll do my best, but you never know man… The road is kind of bumpy like this. I’ll still do my best!”

“Quack!” Blue was still very displeased. Lance just sighed and fed Blue some more tasty treats. That seemed to calm her for now.


	168. Delinquent (Highschool AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a new AU. Something kind of fun and lighthearted. So high school setting, Lance and Keith are both seniors. Lance is totally fawning over Keith, who is known as a delinquent. Keith is actually too sleep deprived to actually notice anything that is going on around him because he has insomnia. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Altea high was a very, very prestigious highschool. One needed more than just good grades. They needed to excel academically, or have extremely deep pockets. Despite this school being extremely preppy and generally considered a snobby school, there were still delinquents. How weren’t the expelled yet? Deep pockets.

This was actually kind of perfect for one particular senior student. Lance McClain had a thing for bad boys. Sue him. He knew what he liked and he honestly really liked bad boys. Completely head over heels for them. Was also probably a masochist as well since most of his daydreams revolved around being bullied by the school delinquents, well, one delinquent in particular.

Keith Kogane. When it came to bad boys, Keith was the king. He almost always showed up to class late, if he ever showed up at all. He never paid attention in class. He always looked so bored in class and like he had gotten into a fight before school started. He was also pretty as hell, even if he did have a stupid mullet hairstyle that only just made it inside hair guidelines for boys.

Because of his more delinquent behaviour, Keith, along with a few of the more disruptive students, was given an assigned seat. Keith’s seat was usually right up the front or in the second row to the front. Lance tried to sit close to him. Sometimes he managed to sit behind the delinquent and when that happened… Those were the best 45 minutes of his life.

He could just stare at the back of Keith’s mullet all day. That super sexy, messy mullet that probably looks even sexier when it’s all sweaty and stuck to his face and neck… As he beats the ever living shit out of someone with his bare hands. He might have wanted to be the person getting punched in the face by Keith… 

Lance sighed loudly as he daydreamed of Keith pushing him up against a locker and verbally abusing him. Yeah, he had problems, but they were his problems. Problems that were just (supposedly) innocent thoughts that he didn’t think he would ever be able to actually voice… At least not until he could legally go and find a dominatrix or a dom to beat the shit out of him.

His friend, Hunk, looked up at him from the other side of the lunch table they were sitting at. “You okay there buddy? You’re kind of zoning out again.”

Lance looked up from his lumpy mashed potatoes. “Hmm, I was just thinking about stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“He means Keith.” Said Pidge. Lance’s other friend. She was sitting next to him eating a sandwich. “I still think there is something wrong with you if you like him. Guy can probably eat your ass.”

“That is what I am hoping.” Muttered Lance.

“... You have some weird kinks.”

“You think all kinks are weird.” Muttered Lance. “You’re ace.”

“Fair, but even I know it’s not normal for you to look at a guy that looks like he regularly beats the shit out of people and wistfully sigh about wanting him to step on you.” Said Pidge. “Or slap you. Or punch you. Just… Stop it. Get some help.”

Lance rolled his eyes and ate some of his mashed potatoes. “Hey, I keep most of my thoughts to myself. I just happen to sigh every once in a while and just think about what could possibly be.”

“... Why can’t you just be into tits and ass?” Grumbled Pidge.

“Are you saying you wish I was straight?”

“No, you’re a beautiful bisexual bastard, but if you talk about getting choked again I will find a way to hang you in the gym.”

“... Yeah, fair enough.” Lance ate some more of his food and stared off into space. Out of the corner of his eye he happened to catch sight of a familiar mullet. Keith had just got out of line and was taking a seat near the edge of the cafeteria. He sat by himself and ate his food with a disinterested look on his face.

Somehow he made looking disinterested look sexy. Just staring off into the distance, eating his relatively above board, human grade, cafeteria food. He wondered what Keith was thinking about. Maybe thinking about how boring school was and how he couldn’t wait to leave and um… Go to a secret underground fight club? Beat up other delinquents at the other schools? Maybe he was part of some gang? Maybe his phone was full of cute girls and or boys that he was able to hit up for a booty call? Man, he wished he was on that list that totally existed and wasn’t just a horny teenage thought.

Maybe he needed to go home and jerk off or something? He was way too horny for his own good… At least maths was next, and he sat behind Keith in maths class. Which was of course the soul reason he was failing maths. Keith just existing as too distracting for Lance.

As Lance got more and more frustrated with himself for being too horny for his own good, he happened to notice a teacher walking through the cafeteria and towards Keith. They talked for a brief moment before Keith quickly ate the rest of his mashed potatoes and his sandwich before he threw the rest out and followed them out to the hall.

“You think he’s got detention again?” Asked Pidge.

Hunk shrugged. “Probably. Keith kind of is a frequent flyer… Hopefully it’s for something like graffiti, and like, not bullying or beating someone up…”

“Hmm, maybe? Who knows?”

“He’ll probably get after school detention again.” Said Lance. “Man… I wish I got after school detention just so I could look at him some more…”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Man, puberty must fucking suck for you. You want to fuck anything mildly threatening to your health… Should we remove blenders from your house?”

“I’m not going to stick my dick in a blender.” Muttered Lance. “I just wish I was able to talk to him, you know? We haven’t had any reason to talk… If I talked to him then maybe my infatuation will disappear? Like, I’ll realise his personality is different to the one in my head and it’ll all be good?”

“Yeah, maybe?” Hunk thought for a moment. “Are you getting A’s in any class? You could be a tutor?”

“... Okay any other ideas?”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Dude, you’re in over your head. If you ever do get to talk to Keith, don’t piss him off just because you want him to punch you. Okay?”

“... No promises.”

The trio continued to eat their lunch and talk until the first bell rang to let everyone know that everyone had five minutes to get their books and get to class. Lance quickly made it to his class and happily sat down. However, when the final bell rang and the teacher came in, Keith wasn’t there. He didn’t show up for the whole class. Lance was kind of shocked by this. He would have assumed that Keith would have come in about ten minutes late like he usually did. But he didn’t.

Was Keith skipping class again? Did he just decide to ditch the rest of school? He wouldn’t be surprised, but still… Lance wanted to still be around that super sexy, cool, mullet man just for a little bit longer. He reluctantly sighed and actually had to do maths work for once.

***

Keith had been called to the office and was surprised to find Adam waiting for him there. Adam was Keith’s legal guardian while his brother was deployed. The two of them had gotten word that Shiro was being honorably discharged after an accident where he lost his arm. They had gone to see him a few times at the hospital when he came back. He was on some pretty heavy drugs and was out of it a lot. But if Adam was here then that meant that Shiro was allowed to come home.

“We’re going to get him?” Asked Keith.

Adam smiled and nodded. “That’s right. Come on, we’re going to see him. I just signed you out.”

Keith grinned and followed Adam out to his car. When Shiro first came back and lucid, he was fine for the most part, but there were clearly things he couldn’t deal with anymore. Loud noises made him flinch and shake. They quickly found that out when Keith accidentally knocked over a tin box of fancy chocolates that Adam and brought over for him. Shiro screamed and was a total wreck for half an hour.

Adam and Keith had spent the better part of the week fixing up the house to make it as suitable for Shiro to live in as possible. They decided that they would deal with any other PTSD symptoms as they came. Adam had even looked up some therapists that specialize in PTSD for veterans once Shiro was settled back into civilian life.

“Are you excited to see him again?” Asked Adam.

“Of course I am.” Said Keith. “Aren’t you excited to see your husband again?”

“I definitely am.” Said Adam. “You have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve been laid?”

“Ew, gross.” Whined Keith. “I don’t wanna hear that.”

“Well, considering you’re an insomniac you probably will.”

Keith pulled a disgusted face. “Yeah, no. I’m going to look up some noise cancelling headphones. Don’t need to hear you old men screwing.”

Adam chuckled and sighed. “... But speaking of your insomnia, are you sure you don’t want to see someone about it? Maybe get some sleeping pills again? You know Shiro’s worried about you. He pointed out those dark bags under your eyes when he first saw you.”

“He said I look like shit.”

“And you said he looked all left.”

“... Yeah, okay. Fair enough… Do you think Shiro will really be upset by that?”

“Well, yeah.” Said Adam honestly. “He’ll be more upset to learn that you’re getting in trouble for sleeping in class. I swear, I get more calls about you sleeping in odd places around the school rather.”

“Hey, I’m still getting straight A’s so deal with it.”

Adam rolled his eyes and the duo pulled up to the hospital. They stopped by the gift shop and Adam picked up a black lion to give to his husband. They went to his room and Shiro was already dressed and waiting for them.

He smiled sheepishly at them. “Hey.”

“Hey there yourself handsome.” Said Adam as he walked over to him, giving him the lion. “Here. Now let’s get you back home and settled in. Yeah?”

Shiro took the toy in his hand and smiled at him. “Yeah. Sounds good.” He looked over at Keith and took in the fact he was still wearing his school uniform. “Did Adam pull you out of class for this?”

Keith shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I’ll email the teachers and see what I missed.”

“Keith…”

“You’re more important than school right now.” Said Keith quickly. “I told Adam I wanted to be here for you when you come home.”

Shiro didn’t seem too happy about it, but he reluctantly let Adam and Keith help him down to the car. The ride home was pretty upbeat. Adam and Keith had figured that they shouldn’t ask Shiro too much about his tour to prevent him having a PTSD episode, but things were good. Things were happy. At least for the moment. 

Once Shiro was settled Keith went up to his room and looked through his assignments. He still had three to do, but two were almost done and due next week. The third could wait a few more days. Keith wasn’t a bad student. He was a pretty good one. Keith was usually getting A’s and B’s in most of his classes. He was a good student. He just had chronic insomnia… Which meant he kind of ended up falling asleep everywhere.

A few times he had fallen asleep on the bus and had to run to get to school. Sure he fucked up a few times and ended up missing the first class, but he always made up for any class work he missed after school. Most teachers were pretty understanding but some were kind of dicks about it and actually gave him detention anyway.

He sighed a little as he looked over the assignment on his desk. He twirled his pencil around a few times as he looked at it and yawned. All he had to do was draw up a graph and then he could proof read his other assignment. Easy enough for him to get done before he started his shift at the corner store.

Keith yawned and rubbed his eyes. Maybe he should have a shower to wake himself up? As that thought passed his mind, Keith felt his body move slightly and before he knew it his head hit the corner of the table and he hit the floor.

“... Ow?”

His door was suddenly flung open and Shiro was standing there with Adam. His brother was clearly in more of a panic than Adam was. “Are you okay?!”

“I’m okay.” Said Keith. “I just slipped.”

“Your face is bleeding.” Said Adam.

Keith frowned and touched his forehead. He managed to graze himself on the edge of his table. “... I’ll pick up some more bandages at work.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Asked Shiro, in a very concerned voice.

Keith got up and dabbed the blood off his face with his sleeve. “It’s fine Shiro. I’m not hurt. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make such a loud noise.”

Adam put his hand on Shiro’s shoulder and spoke in a calm and soothing voice. “It’s okay Shiro. Keith and I know you can’t stand loud noises. We’re trying our best to limit how much noise we make, but accidents still happen.”

“I… I know…” Said Shiro quietly. “It just… I didn’t mean to overreact like that…”

“It’s fine.” Said Keith. “We understand.”

“Come down to the kitchen with me.” Said Adam “I’ll make you some hot chocolate. Okay? Want some too Keith?”

“Yeah. That’ll be nice…” Said Shiro quietly. “Didn’t mean to burst in like this… Sorry…” He walked down the hallway and into the lounge room.

When he was out of ear shot, Adam quickly spoke to Keith in a hushed tone. “This is one of the reasons why I want you to get help for your insomnia. You fall over all the time. You always look like you’re getting into fights.”

Keith rolled his eyes, but nodded anyway. Though he usually just ended up with a few bumps and scratches here and there. Worst he had ever gotten was a split lip. “Yeah, okay. Fine… I’ll look into sleeping pills again…”

“Good. I’ll bring you your drink in a bit… And a bandaid.”

Keith just nodded and got back into his chair. Sleep deprived or not, Keith still needed to finish his assignments… Then go to work… Then sleep for four hours before school the next day… He really needed more time to sleep. Fuck it, sleep was for the weak, and if there was one thing Keith was not, it was weak.


	169. Freedom (Android AU XVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends another AU... Well, I hope you all liked this one. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The two androids watched as Pidge hooked up some kind of robot to the charging station. It looked more like a pasic skeleton rather than an actual care assistance unit. Adam seemed a little sceptical about it too, but they all let Pidge work. Once it was set up, Pidge grinned and took out a large plastic block.

“Alright, so introducing the Rover 3.5.” She said proudly. She pressed a few buttons on the block and handed it over to Adam. “Okay so this unit will flower you around. It does talk, but not very well. If you are in trouble and need assistance they will set go to the exoskeleton here.” She patted the shoulder of the plastic skeleton. “This is a carbon fiber frame, has both heating and cooling pads, can lift about 3/4ths of a ton, and has blinkers in its ass.”

“Why its ass?” Asked Adam.

“Because there wasn’t anywhere else to put the blinkers when you place the heating and cooling pads.” She pointed to the hole in the back of the robot’s head. “Rover 3.5 will assess a situation and decide if they need to use their body to help you out. You can give it a verbal command to use its body too, like if your back’s all fucked up and need help getting up or moving around. If not, then they will just follow you around.”

“Do I need something for it to monitor my heartbeat or something?”

“Yep.”Pidge gave him a bracelet. “Here. Just stick that sucker on and sync it up to Rover 3.5. Just follow the instructions. Also, they have been known to go off if you are having sex because of increast heart rate and all that… You can put them on sleep mode for a few hours if you need to for that.”

“Okay, good.” Muttered Adam. “I’ll need it.” Pidge continued to talk to Adam about how things would work from now on.

As they did so, Lance couldn’t help but frown at the robot that was made to replace him. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Sure this was what he wanted, but it was Lance’s job. He could feel a little bad about being replaced.

Keith nudged his side. “Are you okay?”

“... I’m jealous.”

“Yeah? Of that?”

“Well it was my job.” Said Lance.

Keith smiled and squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. So, we’re here now… We can grab our stuff and go.”

“Yeah, we can.” Lance smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “I can’t believe that this is happening…”

“Neither can I. But it is.”

“And that’s it.” Said Pidge. “You got that?”

Adam nodded as Rover 3.5 activated. “I believe so. Register name, Adam Wright.”

“Name registered!” Chirped Rover in a child-like voice. “Adam Wright. I am Rover 3.5. I am here to assist you and make you happy and healthy. I hope we will get along.”

“I’m sure we will.”

Shiro walked past the room with a box in his hands. “All good?”

Pidge nodded. “Yep. Rover 3.5 is all ready to go. You two androids ready to get your plastic butts out of here?”

“We’ll meet you outside.” Said Lance. He went to check his backpack. He didn’t really have much to take with him. He had a few different shorts, some shirts, and a spare pair of shoes. He also had a few small puzzles. Some of his favourites, and Keith’s favourites. Adam also gave him a thing called a tactical shovel. Apparently Keith has some survival gear too. He was a lot more practically minded than he was. Still, Lance had downloaded some tool making and survivalist instructions.

Once he was sure he had everything, he went over to Adam and hugged him. Adam hugged back. “I’m gonna miss you Lance.” He said.

“I’m going to miss you too.” Said Adam. “But I’m glad you two are happy. Be safe out there.”

“We will, and you stay healthy. Okay? No more cheese platters.”

“... Fine.”

“No more cheese platters!” Chirped Rover 3.5.

“... Fucking damn it…” Muttered Adam.

Lance chuckled and looked over to Keith and Shiro. He was smiling fondly at Keith and ruffled his hair and smiled fondly at him. Keith smiled fondly back at him and hugged him. It was a touching moment.

Once they had said their goodbyes, Keith and Lance got into Pidge’s car. Kosmo was already there. He was on sleep mode so he was basically just a big, floppy, lifeless lump. As Pidge drove them to the shipyard. As the did so Keith took a screwdriver out of his bag and jammed it through the roof of his mouth.

“Um… You doing okay there?” Asked Lance in slight alarm.

“He’s fine.” Said Pidge. “He’s just taking out his tracker. As government property he has a tracker in him in case he goes missing and needs to be found.”

Keith yanked the screwdriver out and coughed. Out of his mouth came a small flat disc. Instead of throwing it out the window he put it in his pocket. Noticing the strange look that lance was giving me, Keith just shrugged. “I’m saving it for later. Trust me.”

They got to the yard and Keith clapped his hands to activate Kosmo. Kosmo happily got up and wagged his tail. He sniffed around the car a little and simulated peeing on the car. Nothing came out obviously, but he did it anyway.

Pidge smiled at them and shrugged. “So, you guys are ready to go?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Thank you Pidge.”

“What for?”

“For making me.”

Pidge smiled fondly at Lance. “Hey, don’t sweat it. I’ve always wanted you guys to be able to make your own choices. You feel me?”

“Still going to keep fighting for Android rights?” Asked Keith.

“Hell yeah.” She said. “You know it. Matt and I are trying to figure out how to get more androids to you guys after you leave. We’ll figure something out. Okay?”

Keith smiled and patted Kosmo’s head. “Thanks. We all appreciate it.”

She smiled and gave the two a small salute. “No problem. Now get out of here before I decide to drag you three back to the shop.” 

“Tell Hunk I said goodbye!” Said Lance quickly. “I’ll miss him too!”

“I’ll let him know.” Said Pidge. She got into her car and drove away.

When she was gone, the group went into the shipyard and headed onto the cargo ship. Kosmo happily wagged his tail and barked happily. A few androids were confused when they saw that Kosmo was with Keith and Lance, they shrugged it off and let them walk around.

Allura was very excited to see Kosmo and welcomed the two with open arms. “It’s so good to finally meet you Lance.”

“Thank you very much.” Said Lance. “I… I’m really happy to be here.” He looked over at Keith and smiled at him. “I… I honestly didn’t mind where I went as long as I was with Keith.” 

Keith blushed at that statement, which just made Allura chuckle. “Right, well, you are both solar hybrids now, right?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. We’re all good.”

“Excellent.” She clapped her hands and happily walked into the main cargo hold of the ship where most of the androids were congregating. “Everyone! I have an announcement to make! Tonight, we are leaving! We have to get prepared, now!” 

***

Later that evening Shiro was at work. Griffin was back and he looked very, very pissed off. He was upset he had desk duty. Not that Shiro really cared too much. He still wished that Keith didn’t hit his head as hard as he did. He looked over at Griffin who was angrily staring at the wall.

“Are you okay there?” He asked.

“Where is your plastic cop?” Asked Griffin.

“He needed some routine maintenance.” Lied Shiro. “I told him to go to the repair shop and see if they had time for a walk in or if I needed to book a repair. Keith was saying his calibrations were feeling a little off and was worried his software might be out of date.”

Griffin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Suddenly the phones started ringing and everything went to hell. People were shouting things and running to squad cars. Iverson came out of his office at the panic to see what was going on. One of the officers quickly informed him what was going on.

Iverson swore and pointed at Shiro. “Shirogane! Where is your android?”

“At the repair shop.”

“... Fuck. Get in your car and get to the shipyard. Some fucking cargo ship is trying to leave the port. Some fucking decomissioned thing that shouldn’t be working.”

“Seriously? Okay. I’ll get moving.” Shiro grabbed his jacket and headed to the dock while Griffin threw up his hands in annoyance. He clearly wanted to go too.”

As Shiro drove to the shipyard he heard people talking over the radio. Apparently the coast guard had tried to hail the ship, but the ship didn’t hail back. They had done thermal imaging scanning and there were no humans of the ship. It became apparent that it was probably several deviant androids trying to leave for some reason.

Shiro knew it was them. He wished that they hadn’t chosen such a huge, slow ship. But that’s just what they decided to use. When he got to the shipyard he watched as several officers were talking with the coast guard and quickly decided who was heading out to the cargoship.

As Shiro walked over he noticed a few people giving him strange looks. He went over to the officer in charge. “Hey. Is something going on?”

The officer sighed and nodded. “Yeah, we know it isn’t your fault, but we picked up a government tracker on the ship. We ran it and… Well… It came up as your android… Either he’s been scrapped or he’s gone deviant…”

“... Crap.” Muttered Shiro. “He has been acting a little strange over the past few days… I thought it was a software issue…”

The officer’s radio buzzed and the two of them heard that the operation was underway. The coast guard and the police were boarding the ship. Shiro watched with bated breath. He was worried about what was going to happen. He hoped that this wouldn’t end in bloodshed.

One minute passed.

Then five.

Then twenty.

Then half an hour.

An hour passed and they got the all clear. There was nothing on the ship. No human nor android. The ship was being controlled remotely via a battery powered system on a predetermined course. It was going to burn out in less than two hours. They found Keith’s tracker on the bridge by the wheel. They were bringing the ship back. Shiro was relieved, but a little concerned. He wondered where on earth the androids were.

***

Keith watched the coastguard from the safety of the fishing trawler. Allura was right, with everyone after the cargo ship they could slip by and get out to sea easily. She had commended him on saving his tracker instead of throwing it away. It made sure that everyone was fixated on that ship, and not them.

Lance stood next to him and held his hand. Oh Lance, that wonderful, beautiful. Sweet android. When Keith became a deviant he knew he wanted freedom. But being able to share that freedom with Lance? This was more than he could have ever possible have hoped for or dreamed about. Did Androids even dream? Who cared.

All that mattered was that he was here now with Lance, and Lance was with him. Lance had such beautiful beautiful blue eyes. Too perfect to belong to a human. Wordlessly the two leaned into each other and shared a kiss.

“We’re free.” Said Lance quietly. “We can do whatever we like, be whoever we like. Humans will never be able to tell us what to do again.”

“I know.” Said Keith. “I know.” He couldn’t be happier and judging by the smile on Lance’s face, he was just as happy as he was.

***

About seven years after the androids had escaped the mainland Shiro got a message from an unknown number. Things had changed a lot in those years. Adam’s hip had gotten worse and he ended up needing it replaced. Shiro’s hair had gotten whiter and he was thinking about retirement. Hell, the two of them had even gotten married. Their wedding was lovely.

The two of them were currently sitting on the couch watching TV. He looked down at the message on his phone, unable to decide if he should open it up and look at it or not.

“What are you looking at Takashi?” Asked Adam as he brushed dirt off of Rover.

“I got a message. Someone sent me a photo from an unknown number.” said Shiro. “There’s a photo attached.”

“Hmm, check it out anyway?”

Shiro hesitated a little but opened it up. What he saw shocked him. It was a picture of Lance, Keith, and Kosmo. They looked a little worse for wear. Lance had some scratches on his cheekbones that exposed some of the simiflurecent blue lighting that was under his fake human skin. Keith himself had a large scratch on his left cheek.

Despite those injuries the two of them looked incredibly happy standing in front of a house on the beach. The house seemed to be on stilts and made of a combination of melted plastic and wood. It must have been their house.

He smiled fondly at Adam and showed him the picture. “They made it.”

Adam looked at the phone and smiled. “That’s good. I’m so glad that they did… But fuck them. I hate how androids don’t age.”

Shiro laughed and kissed his husband. “Babe, you’re still young… despite your fucked up hip.”

Adam rolled his eyes, but smiled and leaned against Shiro. As they settled back down, the two of them watched a breaking news bulletin ran across the bottom of the screen. Something about the leader of a group of androids somewhere in the pacific addressing the human population. It seemed like the android revolution was starting up.


	170. Home again (Witch AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More silly seal times with Keith and Lance! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Eventually Lance and Keith needed to head back inland and back to Keith’s home. Of course, Lance’s family were all hugging him and begging him to come back to the ocean with them. But Lance stood his ground and said that he was a familiar now, and he would go wherever his wicche went. Keith still felt a little guilty about it, but he knew that this was Lance’s decision to make.

After what seemed like forever his family reluctantly relented and let them go. Lance looked much more energized as they walked back. Maybe Keith should consider coming to the ocean at least once a year for Lance’s sake? He needed to keep his familiar healthy after all.

“Man, that was nice.” Said Lance. “I’ll miss that salty sea air.”

“Yeah, it is something.” Said Keith calmly. “... Are you sure that this is-”

“I will not hesitate to turn into a seal and flatten you.”

“... Shutting up now…”

***

They eventually got home and Lance happily flopped down onto his bed. “Ah, home sweet home. I missed this place.”

Keith chuckled and hung up his robe on a hook. “Oh really now?”

“Yeah, smells like smoke and wood. I like it.”

Keith smiled when he heard that and went about starting a fire and checking his food. He did have some bread in the cupboard but wasn’t sure if it was mouldy or not. It had a small mould spot on it, which annoyed Keith, but he could deal with that. It was pretty late in the evening. He could go out and get some food from the town after he dropped off his documents at Shiro’s place. He had some dried meat and the small vegetable garden out the back had some vegetables he could use… Though it was going to have to be soup.

He sat down and took off his shoes, tipping out some of the sand that got stuck in them. While he got comfortable he watched Lance happily take out the shells be brought from the beach and decorated around his sleeping area. He looked very pleased with himself. 

“Did you get enough shells?” Asked Keith.

Lance shook his head. “You can never have enough shells. But this will do for now.” 

“Right… So um, I have some documentation to hand into Shiro tomorrow, and then food to get… Want to come with me?”

Lance grinned and quickly nodded. “Yeah. I’d love to. What are we having for dinner?”

“Soup.”

“Nice.”

***

The next day Lance and Keith made their way back to Shiro’s place. Once again Lance was very vocal about how stairs were the devil and how they were the bane of his existence. He also didn’t very much appreciate that Keith wasn’t paying any attention to him as he complained. 

Shiro happily greeted the duo and let them in. He was more than happy to make them some tea as they talked about their stay in Saltwall. Keith kept it relatively brief. He talked about the magical weapons that were there and how they managed to actually meet Lance’s father.

That seemed to surprise Shiro a lot. He probably assumed that Lance came from somewhere much, much further away than Saltwall. Lance didn’t mind. As far as he knew it wasn’t much of a secret or anything. No one told him not to tell them where he was from.

As they talked Lance looked over at Adam. The phoenix was in human form, but looked a little poorly. So while the wicche’s were talking, Lance walked over to him. “Hey, you okay?”

Adam looked up at him and shrugged. “Eh, I’m a little under the weather, but I’m okay. I think I caught a little cold. Shiro is taking care of me, but you know, not like this will kill me. I’ll just turn to ash and get reborn.”

“... You’re okay with dying?”

“Not really, but that’s the nature of the phoenix.” Muttered Adam. He sneezed and rubbed his nose in annoyance. “Stupid fucking cold…”

“Okay…” Lance looked over at the wicche’s and then back at Adam. “Hey, Adam? Can I talk to you about something?”

“Hmm? Sure. What’s up?”

“Um… So what’s your relationship with Shiro?”

“Oh?”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t really know what familiars can and can’t do. Like, I’m a selkie. We breed with humans quite often and we do develop feelings for them… I like Keith a lot and I just want to know if I’m allowed to do anything?”

Adam seemed surprised for a moment before he chuckled. “Shiro and I are lovers. It’s not uncommon for a high level magical creature, who is a familiar to a wicche, to become that wicche’s lover. If the familiar is something like a cat or a dog, that’s a different matter. Those creatures, by law can’t consent to the sexual aspects of a romantic relationship. Abusing a familiar in such a way usually results in the death of the wicche.”

“... Right.” He glanced over at Keith. The man was showing Shiro some clams. “So he wouldn’t feel bad about me showing some romantic interest in him?”

Adam shrugged. “He’ll take it the same way anyone else takes someone showing interest in them. He might reject you because you’re his familiar, but that is his choice.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Said Lance. “I just wanted to know if that was an option for us, since I really kind of think I like him a fair bit… Might be something. Might be nothing.”

“Hmmm, if you say so.” Adam sneezed again and pouted. “Stupid fucking cold… Wish I’d just die and get it over with already…”

Shiro looked over at them. “Do you need another tonic?” He asked Adam.

“... Yes.”

The light wicche went to their shelf and grabbed a green bottle. He walked over to Adam and handed it to him. “Here. This should help with your sniffles.”

“They aren’t sniffles…” Muttered Adam. He quickly downed the tonic and pulled a face. “Gross… I’m going to change into my phoenix form now… Too much effort to look human.” There was a quick puff of smoke and on the chair was a poorly looking bird. Their feathers looked a little unkempt and kind of ratty.

Shiro sighed and placed Adam in a metal bowl that had a little bit of sawdust in the bottom of it on the coffee table. “You just rest up there.”

“Caaaaaaw…” Grumbled Adam.

Lance crouched down next to the chicken sized bird and gently patted him. “Why the sawdust?”

“It’s just a safety precaution.” Said Shiro. “When Adam gets sick he prefers to rest in here. If he suddenly passed away he will suddenly catch fire and burn to ashes. I don’t want him to set everything on fire, and with the high sides of the bowl his ashes won’t spill out or get blown away… A phoenix will die if their ashes get blown away in the wind. They need their ashes to collect in one place to be born again.”

“Oh, okay.” Lance gently patted Adam some more. He seemed to appreciate it. Lance liked Adam in his bird form, a lot better than seagulls. Those guys were assholes. Stinky, screechy, flapping assholes.

“Well we should go.” Said Keith. “We need to go grocery shopping.”

“Have fun.” Said Shiro. “I’ll start sending you work later this week, and your pay for going to Saltwall.”

“Thanks. Come on Lance.” Said Keith. “Hope you get better soon Adam.”

“Caaaaw!”

The two of them ended up walking around the markets for a fair few hours. Lance didn’t really get it. Keith kept looking at all kinds of different things but didn’t seem to want anything. It was all edible, right? Just grab some stuff. It would be fine. At least that’s what he thought.

Keith did end up buying a few loaves of bread, some vegetables, and lots of meat. He was pretty sure most of that was for him. He ate a lot of chicken, and Keith bought a lot of chicken. That pleased him a lot.

They stopped by the bakery and Keith bought them both some sweet bread stuff. It was weird. Kind of flakey and buttery, but Lance loved it. It was so, so nice. Lance happily munched on it as they walked back home. He wanted more of these buttery sweet things. They were so tasty.

“Hey Keith? Can we buy more of these things?”

“They are kind of expensive.” Said Keith. “We can’t get them every day…”

“Oh, okay… Maybe once a week?”

“More like once a month…”

“Oh…”

When they got home Lance happily put away all of the dry ingredients while Keith went about hanging some sausages, cured meats, and herbs up close to the fireplace. Lance was interested in what he was doing. Human food preparation was so interesting. They had to do so many things to just eat meat. He could just eat a fish and just eat the whole thing in one go. It was easy.

Lance happily pulled his seal skin back on and acted like a lump on the floor. Now was time to relax. Walking around was good, but relaxing like this was fun. Who didn’t want to be a lazy lump on the floor?

***

Once everything was all in place Keith could take a moment to step back and relax. Well, not really. He still needed to do his laundry. His clothes were pretty stiff from the salt water. He needed to find his washboard. Keith hated washing his clothes… He might as well make a day out of it and have a bath too.

He sighed and turned around, almost tripping over Lance. “Hey! Why are you in the middle of the floor?”

Lance looked up at him, shrugged and happily rolled onto his side, closing his eyes with an almost smug look on his face. Keith rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly at him. He sat next to Lance. The selkie quickly wobbled over and rested his head against Keith’s thigh, and slapped his own belly a few times. Keith smiled and went to pat him, but stopped himself. Patting Lance was kind of demeaning.

“So… Tomorrow…”

The seal looked up at him and tilted his head. “Arrrf?”

“It’s laundry day.” Said Keith. “I need to wash my clothes and my cleaning rags… I’m guessing you don’t need your sealskin washed?”

Lance almost looked offended as he quickly pulled his head into his body and let out a most undignified noise a seal could muster. He did not look impressed that Keith would even suggest touching his precious sealskin. Not that Keith would actually take it from him or try to hide it. In all honesty it was Lance’s most precious possession.

“Want to learn how to wash clothes?” Asked Keith. “It’ll be the first time you’ve used soap, right? You’ll probably love soap bubbles.”

Lance’s eyes lit up in excitement. He quickly nodded and made a bunch of happy seal noises. Though Keith couldn’t really tell if he was excited about washing clothes or soap bubbles. If he had to make a guess it was probably the soap bubbles. Unless he was weird and actually wanted to wash clothes. Lance was kind of weird, so it could go either way.

“Yeah, it’ll be an interesting day…” Muttered Keith. “Best to get all the house stuff out of the way before I get sent more stuff… If you help out and don’t get lazy halfway through, I’ll buy you two pasteries.” Lance gave him a confused look and snorted. “Those flakey, buttery things we were eating.”

The seal’s eyes suddenly lit up with joy. He quickly reared up and slammed down onto Keith, hard. “Bawargawar! Arraff! Brabra pfffffffpt bwa! Araf arrrrrrr bah!” He bellowed and babbled. Keith made a mental note not to tell Lance good news when he was this close to Lance while he was in his seal form.


	171. Tabletop (Modern fantasy AU XXIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is just trying to play some fun games with Keith (while trying to slip in exercise). Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was a quiet day at Lance’s place. It was the kind of day where one doesn’t want to do anything. Just sit around or lie around and do nothing. Keith was spread out on Lance’s couch in a red tracksuit. He wanted to do something, but he didn’t want to do anything. He wasn’t even motivated enough to go and get fries.

Lance frowned as he looked over the chunky elf. “Seems like you have a lot of free time on your hands…”

“I’m bored...” He muttered.

“Why don’t you do some exercises?”

“Nah, I hate that shit. Total pain in the ass.”

“Your honesty isn’t refreshing.”

Keith sighed. “Look, I just wanna do something fun…”

“Then how about we play a game?”

“I’ve played all the video games.”

“Not that kind of game.” Lance walked over to the cupboard and pushed some extra sheets out of the way and found some of his old board games. He quickly found what he was after and took out a long box. Keith watched Lance curiously as he set up a tower of small wooden blocks. “Jenga.”

“Gesundheit,” 

“What? No. Jenga is a tabletop game.” Said Lance. “The rules are simple; you take turns pulling a block out and putting it on top of the tower, and you keep going until someone knocks it down and loses.”

Keith nodded as he sat on the ground and looked at the tower. His ears wiggled a little. “Okay, that seems easy enough.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty easy.” Said Lance. “How about we up the stakes a little? The loser plays a punishment game? Push-ups, sit-ups, squats. You pick one and do ten reps every time you lose. Also, the penalty increases if you have consecutive losses, so 2 losses in a row means 20 reps, 3 means 30 and so on.”

“And of course you bring exercise into this…” Muttered Keith. “Okay, sounds interesting to me. Games are more fun when the stakes are so high.”

“Awesome, let’s play.”

“Good luck human, you’re gonna need it.”

So the two of them started to play several rounds of a very, very intense game of jenga. The two would squint at each block before they carefully and slowly pulled out a block. They managed to get the tower to twist and turn in several odd and obtuse ways. Then it would crash down in a clatter, making them both jump. 

After five rounds the two of them stopped to do the punishment game. Lance had lost all five rounds. Keith was looking at Lance with a shit eating grin. “Lost five rounds huh? That’s 50 reps.”

Lance sighed and stood up. “Yeah, I’m gonna do squats… I can’t believe how good you are at this game…” Lance took a stance and started to do his fifty squats. As he did so, he felt that a certain elve’s eyes were on him. “... Like what you see?”

“Your ass is kind of flat.”

“Rude!”

By the time Lance was almost finished with his squats, the door opened up and Krolia walked in followed by Romelle and Lotor.

“Hey Krolia.” Said Keith. “Enjoy your walk?”

“Hope you don’t mind us stopping by.” Said Romelle.

“I ran into them outside and decided to invite them over.” Said Krolia calmly.

“That’s fine.” Said Lance as he finished his last squat. “Nice to see you guys.”

“I’m happy to be here.” Said Romelle.

“I didn’t plan on coming here…” Grumbled Lotor. He gave Krolia the side eye. “But Krolia is very… Persuasive…”

Romelle walked over to the coffee table and looked at the jenga blocks. “These little block toys look absolutely adorable!”

“They are part of a tabletop game.” Said Keith proudly. “A game that I happen to be an expert at.”

Romelle’s eyes lit up. “A game? Can I play too? Looks like fun!”

Keith chuckled a little as he started to set up the blocks. “Sure. But there’s a penalty for losing. Hope you don’t mind.”

Lance smiled and looked over at the other two elves. “Would you two like to join in?”

“Yes.” Said Krolia calmly.

Lotor sighed and crossed his arms. “Yeah, why not?”

So the group sat around the table and Lance explained the rules. They were simple enough for everyone to understand. Though Romelle did have a few questions here and there. After that they had to figure out who was going first. After going through everything from drawing straws to flipping a coin, everyone just decided it was easier to go around the room clockwise starting from Krolia.

“Okay.” Said Keith. “Just remember, you’re only meant to take the block out with one hand.”

“I understand.” She said calmly. Krolia slowly tilted her head as she slowly raised her hand. Suddenly she swiped at the tower. A single block rocketed out of the tower, hit the wall, ricocheted off the wall and slammed into Lotor’s ass with an audible thwack.

Lotor yelped and grabbed at his cheek that now was definitely going to have a decent sized bruise forming on it. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Mum, you can’t use that much force!” Keith quickly explained.

“Oh, my bad.”

The game continued and the tower wobbled and twisted, tilting to the side. Romelle carefully placed her block on top and let out a small sigh of relief. “Phew… This is intense…”

“Yeah.” Said Keith. “... You’rr pretty good at this…”

Romelle shrugged. “The rules are very bare bones. You can bone up on it pretty fast… Get it?”

“Yeah, no more bone puns.” Muttered Keith. “I’m next…” He slowly reached for the tower.

Lotor started to snicker. “Oh no… Looks like the tower is going to fall…”

“Shut up! You’re breaking my concentration!” Keith was confident. He hadn’t lost a single game yet. But alas, Keith’s luck had turned. The second he touched the block the tower fell over and Keith lost. “Fuck! One more game!”

It didn’t matter how many rounds that Keith played, his luck was gone. He had lost every single game. As this happened Lance kept a tally of how many reps Keith had to do by the end of this. Things were quickly stacking up. After the tower fell down again, Keith put his head against the table and grumbled.

“You should just stop and accept your punishment.” Warned Lotor.

“I’ll do them all once we’re finished!” He snapped.

“You are going to regret it.”

Keith pouted and looked over at Lance. “You have any other games? I need to change my luck.”

“Oh, sure.” Lance dug around in his cupboard for a few moments before he came back with a game. “Gotcha!”

“What’s that?” Asked Romelle.

“It’s a four player game where you have to move your pieces around the board to get them home.” Explained Lance. “If you roll a 6 the monster piece gets placed on the board. Once the monster is on the board they become the 5th player. So when each player goes someone rolls for the monster. If the monster lands on one of your players then you have to move your piece back to home base and have to start moving it around the board again. You win when all four of your pieces go around the board once and are back at home.”

“Good! I won’t lose at this game!” Declared Keith. Needless to say, it didn’t go well for Keith. Romelle came in first, with Lotor second, and Krolia in third… Keith came last with almost all his player pieces getting attacked by the monster. “FUCK! Lance! Different game!”

Lance took out a version of Settlers of Catan, but it was simpler, and farming themed called Farmers of Arman. He explained how it was a strategy game where you needed to corner your opponents. He explained how you turn over the tiles and get different points depending on what crop is under them. Potatoes were 1 point, carrots were 2 points, and peas were 3 points.

“Why are potatoes only worth 1 point?” Asked Keith.

“... I have no idea.” Answered Lance.

Romelle smiled a little and sighed. “Ah, yes. This takes me back… Cornering my enemies. I did a lot of that back when I was alive. How nostalgic.”

Krolia nodded in agreement. “True to life.”

“Okay!” Said Keith. “I am not losing this time!”

Romelle easily came in first, Krolia came in second, Lotor came in third, and Keith lost… again. Krolia didn’t look pleased about being bested at a strategy game. “Wow, I came in first again.” Chirped Romelle.

“How the fuck are you so damn good at these games?!” Snapped Keith.

The skeleton shrugged. “I guess I’m just lucky? I can feel it in my bones.”

“Enough with the puns!” He turned to Lance with begging eyes. “Don’t you have a game I can win? Any game?”

Lance sighed and went to his cupboard. “I do, but whether you win or lose is kind of up to you and luck.” He took out a few and the horror unfolded for Keith; Ludo? Lost. Risk? Lost. Mousetrap? Lost. Snakes and Ladders? Lost. Hungry, hungry hippos? Lost. Candy Land? Lost.

Romelle couldn’t help but laugh and grin. “Man, I can’t believe I won every single game! I had no idea I was so good at games.”

“It’s kind of scary how good you are…” Said Lotor. “I know that fairy folk have high luck, but does that transfer over to when you become undead? … Well, on the other hand, while the skeleton can’t stop winning… A certain potato elf can’t stop losing. Just accept your punishment already Keith. You’re racking up reps like it’s going out of style.”

“... One more match.” Grumbled Keith. “High stakes final match. If I get first place, all my debts are cancelled. If I lose then they are multiplied a hundred-fold!”

Lotor started laughing. “Seriously? Alright then. No take backs. It’s your funeral. Lance! Bring out the final game!”

Lance held up a box. “The game of Life! It’s a classic game about the ups and downs of life. The person who has the most money at the end wins. There’s plenty of life events like getting a job and getting married. Just like real life.”

Keith frowned. “So we’re going to experience first-hand all the major life events of this world?”

“It’s just a game.”

“I get to live even though I’m dead?” Asked Romelle.

“... It’s just a game.” Reiterated Lance.

“Okay! Let’s go!” Said Keith as he quickly spun the wheel. “Our lives start now!” Keith landed on a square where he ended up getting a job. He was quite proud of himself as he revealed that he became a farmer. “Ha, a war proof job. Everyone needs food.”

Krolia nodded in agreement. “A fine profession.”

“You’re only going to grow potatoes.” Remarked Lotor.

“Damn straight.”

Romelle went next and landed on a square. She tilted her head in confusion. “I got life insurance? Even though I’m already dead?”

The game continued on for a bit with the usual ups and down. Lotor grinned when he landed on a square. “Ha, I got married. Fork over your wedding gifts.”

“Get divorced already.” Muttered Keith.

“What are stocks?” Questioned Krolia. 

“You sell them for cash at the end.” Said Lance.

“Oh hey, I got a kid.” Said Keith. “That’s a big responsibility.”

“Congratulations!” Said Romelle.

Keith was doing much better at this game than the others. He was well on his way to winning. He clearly had the most money out of everyone and was so close to retiring. Then he landed on a red square. “Economic recession due to tax hike. After advancing from the recession zone… Um Lance? What is this?”

Lance visibly paled. “Y-you landed on the worst square… All your money… Everything you’ve built up and saved… It’s all for nothing. Your taxes are going to skyrocket while your income is halved. You’re basically fucked.”

“Wait, what?! But that’s not fair! I worked hard for this! No!”

Once again Keith had lost. So there he was, on the ground, doing push-ups while everyone else sat around and watched him go. Lance was sitting next to him and made sure that he was doing them correctly. Krolia made everyone some tea because this was going to take a long, long time. Keeith was already gasping and sweating up a storm.

“This is your own fault.’ Said Lotor.

“Keep at it!” Said Romelle. “Just 35,900 push-ups left to go!

Lotor snickered. “At this rate, he’ll be doing them for the rest of his life.”

“I’M NEVER PLAYING WITH YOU FUCKERS EVER AGAIN!!!” Yelled Keith before he fell flat on his face.


	172. Domestic (HolyHell AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is learning how to human and is having a blast learning how to do stuff like cooking and cleaning... Lance might still be misinterpreting some of what the demon boy is doing... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Living with the Pastor was very… strange. Keith mostly stayed in his room, not too sure what to do. His room was a little dusty, so he did occupy himself a little by doing some dusting with an extra shirt he had in his bag. He wondered if Lance would like it if he cleaned the rest of the house too, but when he left the room and attempted to do some dusting, Lance seemed kind of horrified that Keith was using a shirt.

Then there was the A.A meeting… Keith didn’t know what to expect but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting a bunch of sad and depressed humans with problems with alcohol. It was kind of shocking how badly humans got messed up if they drank too much. Now he could understand why Lance thought he had a problem. Though alcohol was like water to a demon. He wasn’t going to get the same illnesses as humans would from drinking all day every day. It was awkward.

Also, Lance got him a part time job at some good will place that sold second hand stuff. This was even more awkward for Keith. He had to wear a uniform and an apron. He didn’t like it. But it made Lance grin and the little old lady who ran the shop was very happy to have a strong young man helping her out a few days a week.

So there Keith was, writing out price tags and sticking them on jackets. This really wasn’t what Keith was expecting when he moved in with Lance and agreed to his house rules. He thought that he’d learn a little more about Lance, seduce him, and fuck him within a week. It didn’t really work too well.

“Are you almost done?” Asked the older woman in her feathery soft voice.

“Yeah, almost.” Said Keith. “Just three more to write up.”

“Very good.” She said. “When you’re done, can you please put the jackets up and help put the soft toys in the toy bins please?”

“Sure.” Keith put the last tags on the jackets, hung them up on the rack, and then went to put the soft toys away. All soft toys were washed thoroughly before they were put out. They smelled kind of floral. Keith liked it. Smelled similar to his clothes after Lance washed them. It was comforting.

He tipped the box of soft toys into the bin. Most of them were bears, some rabbits and a few horse looking things. Something purple bounced out of it and landed by his feet. Keith picked up the toy and smiled a little at it. It was some purple hippo. It was missing an eye, but it had some goofy smile on its face. Keith liked hippos. They are cute, and could rip your body apart in a split second.

The bell chimed as the front door opened and Lance walked in. He usually came over when Keith’s shift ended so they could go home together. Keith kind of thought that Lance was doing it to make sure he wasn’t going to the pub after work. Not that he minded too much. He was just happy to spend time with the young pastor.

He smiled and walked over to Keith. “Hey man. How’s work going?”

“It’s okay. How was your day?”

“Not too bad. Been busy getting these flyers out.” He showed Keith a blue flyer promoting a bake sale at the church.

“... A bake sale?”

“Yeah. Just need to put a little bit of money into the church’s savings.” Said Lance. “With less people coming in and giving tithings, it’s easier for us to do little fundraiser events. I just want enough money to make sure that the roof or lights can be fixed if something happens. As it stands there isn’t much left… But this is good. Who doesn’t love a bake sale?”

“Huh, alright… Would you like me to help?” Asked Keith. If he helped Lance, then Lance would like him more, right?

“You don’t have to.” Said Lance. “You’re already doing enough to better your life. You don’t need to make yourself volunteer if you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” Said Keith. “I um… I haven’t really done much in the way of selling stuff so… But I can help! I know I can!”

Lance was a little surprised but smiled. “I appreciate your enthusiasm. Okay, I’ll see what stall I can put you in charge of. We should get a bunch of cookie and cake donations on either Friday evening or Saturday morning when we’re setting everything up.”

“I can build things.” Said Keith. “I can do it.” Maybe if he could prove himself to Lance then maybe he would like him more? He really hoped that Lance would like him more.

***

While Lance did appreciate Keith’s enthusiasm, he did wonder if Keith was a little too enthusiastic. He pretty much went along with everything that Lace had asked of him. It made him feel a little concerned about what people used to do when he was in that biker gang. They probably made him do a lot of things to make him feel like he was fitting in. He didn’t want Keith to feel like he wasn’t fitting in.

Lance noticed that Keith was a people pleaser. Especially when it came to him. He’d ask Keith to do one thing and Keith would attempt to go above and beyond. Hell, he suggested Keith could clean up his room a little and Keith attempted to dust the whole house with a shirt. One of the two shirts he owned. Lance had to buy him a shirt for work for crying out loud. 

Keith wanting to help was fine, but he wanted Keith to do it. Not because he mentioned it. Keith was acting like such a puppy. If he had a tail it would probably be wagging right now. It was kind of cute, but it still made Lance worry.

Like right now, Lance was making dinner and he asked Keith to set the table. Keith didn’t just put out plates and cutlery. He actually got out a vase and stuck a fake flower in it. He looked very, very pleased with himself as he sat down at the table. However he quickly started glaring at the crucifix on the wall by the fridge.

“You know, you don’t have to do so much just for dinner.” Said Lance. “Almost feels like you’re taking me on a date.”

“... Would that be such a bad thing?”

“Keith…”

“I’m joking.” Said Keith quickly. “I’m joking… I know you…” He sighed. “That you don’t like me at all like that…”

“Yeah…” Lance sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. This was another thing that was bugging him a little about having Keith living with him. Keith had expressed his obvious interest in Lance. He had toned it down a lot since they had moved in, but he would drop comments like this at least one a day. Lance would always rebuke him, and then Keith looked like someone had just yelled at him, like some puppy that pissed on the rug. 

It was going to be tough for Lance to help Keith settle down here. There weren’t many gay people in town. Those that Lance knew were gay were either married and colsited, or underage and closited. Keith might be more comfortable living in a city where he would have a better chance of finding lovers and maybe better work? Lance wasn’t too sure.”

“So, what food are we going to sell at the bake sale?” Asked Keith.

“Oh, just the usual baking stuff.” Said Lance as he put some pasta on their plates. “Cookies, cakes, cupcakes, brownies. That kind of stuff.”

Keith nodded a little as he swirled his pasta around his fork. “Okay… I can sell some cookies…”

“You really want to help out?”

“Yes… I want to help you.” Said Keith quietly. “You’ve done a lot for me… You’re letting me stay here with you, you gave me a room, helped me get a job, trying to help me with um… my alcohol addiction… I want to pull my weight. When I was with the gang, we all had to pull our weight somehow. Like, I used to shake people down, cook meth, sell whatever Ulaz or Thace gave me, slit a few throats… But I didn’t think you would be very happy about me doing any of that stuff…”

“... Yes. You can cook meth?”

“It’s not that difficult.” Said Keith. “You just need to know how much of everything you need to mix together so it doesn’t blow up in your face… Though we did end up blowing up a few shacks in our efforts to cook it.”

Lance almost dropped his fork. “Keith! That’s so dangerous!”

“Hey, Ulaz was the one that blew up the shack.” Said Keith. “Kolivan wasn’t happy with his shit either… When the shack blew up he blew up a barrel of whisky that Kolivan bought. So Kolivan beat his ass with a plank from the broken shack.”

“... Right.”

Keith shrugged. “It is what it is… But I um… I do like being here more than being there… Are you okay with me being here? Do you want me to move out?”

“What?”

“Well, I’m kind of used to moving around, so I wouldn’t be upset if you wanted me to move out. I mean, it has been almost a week.” Said Keith. “I can just pack my stuff and go…”

“You don’t have to move out.” Said Lance. “I am fine with you still being around. You still need help. It’s just been about a week. You’re nowhere near ready to live on your own… I still can’t believe you cooked meth…”

“I’m good at alchemy.”

“Alchemy?”

“... It sounds cooler than chemistry…”

“Right…” Lance ate some more pasta and thought for a moment. “So… Um so apart from chemistry and aggressive business skills, are you good at anything else?”

“Bike mechanics and whoring.”

Lance almost choked on a piece of pasta. “W-what?”

Keith shrugged. “Sex isn’t something shameful to be hidden away. It’s a natural desire and if it was less stigmatized then there would be less problems concerning it. Plus I like sex. It feels good and it’s fun.”

“Right…” Lance nodded slowly and looked down at his food. “And of course everything revolved back to sex with Keith. Innuendos and sex. That’s all that seemed to run around in Keith’s head. “I mean like, do you like drawing?”

Keith thought for a moment and slowly started to sink down in his chair. “Oh… I um… I haven’t really thought that much about that before… Not really much else to do besides move from place to place and just kind of exist? … Do I like anything?” He asked no one in particular.

“Well, that’s something you can figure out now.” Said Lance. “You have the time to figure out what you like. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah… After the bake sale?”

“After the bake sale.”

Keith smiled a little and continued to eat. “... Um… So you need to bake things to make stuff for the bake sale, right?”

“Yep. Why?”

“... Can you teach me how to bake?” Asked Keith quietly. “I… I never really got taught how to cook anything…”

“Except meth?”

“Except meth.”

“Sure. I was going to make some cookies tomorrow anyway. Should be fun.”

Keith smiled a little. “Sounds like fun.”

“Yeah…” Lance looked up at Keith and frowned slightly. The man genuinely seemed happy about being able to do something with him. Anything with him. He seemed to have been neglected as a kid or something. Lance really didn’t want to make assumptions based off of how he acts and his interaction with Krolia. “So… You said you grew up mostly with your dad? How was that?” 

“My dad was pretty cool with me growing up.” Said Keith with a grin.” As soon as I could sit up and not shove things up my nose he had me helping him in his workshop. Granted I used to just hold a hammer or lump of wood for him… He tried to give me as normal a life as possible… Did kind of get pissed at me for getting on the roof once and kicking the ladder away.”

“Huh, alright.” Keith seemed to be a troublemaker when he was a kid.

“Yeah… I should probably go and see him soon.” Said Keith. “He was upset that he couldn’t go on the ride this time because of his hip. But that’s fine… What about your family?”

“What about them?”

Keith shrugged. “Are they doing well?”

Lance nodded. “Everyone is doing fine. The family is coming here for Christmas this year. We try to rotate who is hosting each year. I’ll still need to do the Christmas service, but it’s whatever.”

Keith nodded. “I see… So, this means I’ll need to leave?”

“No… I don’t think so.” Said Lance calmly. “Just… It’s over half a year away. We’ll get there when we get there. Until then… tomorrow we make cookies?”

Keith smiled brightly at him. It was almost child-like in the way he acted at times. It was kind of cute, but at the same time Lance still worried for him. He was still really childish. Lance needed to figure out how to help Keith in a constructive way. Baking and helping at the bake sale might actually be good for him?


	173. Catnip (X-men AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance just hanging out being bros... Also catnip. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Much to Keith’s surprise, he actually kind of liked the M.Y.R.C. Kolivan was right, it was a lot different to how things worked before. Hell, they had mental health services for mutants and not just people telling families how to deal with a special child. They also seemed to be more focused on kids interacting with each other and working together. They organised lots of basketball and netball games.

When Lance mentioned that he probably shouldn’t play any game like that because any game that involved throwing things at a target, his team would almost always win because of his mutation. Ulaz directed him to a room that had more tabletop games. Games that involved cards or dice would make things much more fair for everyone.

Still, for the first time in a long time, Keith was actually playing a team sport and actually being included. It was kind of weird. He’d only been pulled into the game for numbers. He actually got to make a shot. He missed, but it set up the shot for a girl with four arms on his team. It made him happy to know he had helped., but at the same time, it made him realise how lonely he really was.

When the game was over one of the workers there walked over to him. Thace, the panther mutant. He and Kolivan seemed to pick up on Keith’s mannerisms a lot better than everyone else. Possibly because there were all different kinds of cat mutants.

“Are you doing okay there?” He asked him.

Keith shrugged. “I guess… It’s just kind of all weird and new to me. I um… I haven’t really been a part of team sports before…”

“I can imagine it would be a strange experience.” Thace gestured for Keith to follow him and the two ended up sitting on the bleachers as Ulaz blew a whistle and let everyone on the court know that they had ten minutes before they set up the netball net. When they settled down, Thace started talking again. “... So you’ve always been like this? Purple and fluffy?”

Keith rolled his eyes. Normally he would be pissed off that someone would say that, but when it came from an older mutant that looked kind of like him, Keith actually felt like it was endearing. “I was born this way. Why? Weren’t you?”

Thace shook his head. “Nope… Have you ever heard of a mutant called Zarkon?”

“Isn’t he the leader of that mutant terrorist group? The Galra?” Asked Keith. He had heard Shiro talk about having to deal with some of the shit Zarkon does in other countries. His mutation was that he was practically indestructible, also a fucking gaint. But he wasn’t a mindless jock, he was extremely smart.

Thace nodded. “Yes… He has a very… Interesting mutant on his payroll. A doctor who can give people mutations.”

“... What?”

Thace shrugged. “This doctor is a monster. She just needs the DNA of one animal and she’s able to splice it with humans by force… Kolivan, me, and all the other workers here happened to run into her and well… Here we are.”

Keith was shocked. He hadn’t heard of a mutant that could make more mutants. “... Why? Like, why would you want to make more mutants?”

“When everyone’s a mutant, then no one is a mutant.”

“... How did you come across her?”

“We’re all ex mercenaries.” Said Thace. He chuckled a little. “We were pretty good at what we did… But anyway, we were in the jungles of the Amazon, and well… We were all humans at the time but then… We got caught and that was that.”

“And then you became youth workers?”

“We all needed a career change.” Said Thace calmly. “It’s hard enough being a mutant as an adult. I can’t even imagine how difficult it is for a kid.”

“Yeah…”

“So, you’ve come by here a lot… Are you having problems at home?”

Keith shook his head. “No… I’m an orphan. I’m staying with my friend Lance.”

Thace nodded slowly. “I see… Is his family not that inviting?”

“Well… His family is okay I guess… His dad is kind of a jerk, but he doesn’t seem to be malicious… Just kind of ignorant. I think?” He sighed a little and pulled his knees up to his chest. He didn’t think Mr McClain was a bad person… He really cared about his family… It just didn’t extend to him. Which was fine. He wasn’t family. Just some guy that was Lance’s friend. That made him feel bad.

“And that’s why you’re here so often?” Asked Thace. “You don’t want to be there?”

“... Not if I can avoid it.” He sighed a little. “But Any minute now Lance is gonna want to go back or go out to get lunch and then go back…”

“Well, you’re always welcome here.” Said Thace. “Don’t get too worried about it.”

“Thanks… I really appreciate it.”

As if on cue, Lance happily walked over. “Come on Keith, let’s go and get some lunch. I feel like burgers. Want to get that too?”

“Oh, um, sure.” He quickly got up. “Thanks for the talk Kolivan.”

The older man smiled slightly at him and gestured for him to go.

***

The two of them ended up going to some local place. They sat inside at one of the tables and waited for their order. Lance got some spicy chicken burger, but Keith, wanting to eat something that wasn’t spicy, got a beef burger, but cooked as rare as possible and with no tomatoes. As far as he was concerned tomatoes were still the devil’s food. Unless in sauce form. That was okay.

They just sat quietly in a corner, Lance telling Keith about the supposedly epic game of snakes and ladders he had with a telepath and a person that could transform into a possum, and only a possum.

Keith nodded along. Just happy to hear Lance talk. Lance was… He was such a strange guy to Keith. He still found it hard to believe that someone as nice as Lance actually liked him enough to want to be his friend. For once in a long time he actually felt lucky.

Then the door to the restaurant opened and Keith felt the hair on his neck quickly rise. Part of his animal instincts. His body could usually pick up on danger before his eyes could. Especially if it was behind him.

Lance didn’t seem too phased. Instead he just rolled his eyes and spoke in a hushed tone. “And a wild Karen appears.”

Keith very subtly glanced over his shoulder and saw a woman with a typical Karen haircut ordering something at the counter while their teen daughter played on her phone. Keith didn’t have very good experiences with these types of people. Out of instinct he pulled his tail onto his lap and nervously ran his fingers over the fluffiest part.

Lance instantly noticed that something was wrong. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” Said Keith quietly. “Just… You know how some animals just know a bad person when they smell them?”

“Yeah? Oh… Do you want to go?”

“No… We already ordered…”

“Okay… But if they start anything…”

“It’ll be fine…” Honestly, it wasn’t fine. Keith had never been able to pass one of these humans without some kind of horrible remark. It really made him feel like crap. He just wanted to have a good day for once. He didn’t even bring his sun glasses or his face mask. His ears were pressed firmly against his head.

A waitress came over and gave them their food. Lance looked very happy and started eating. “Hmm, these are so good. Not as good as the spice mix that mama uses.”

Keith shrugged. “I’ll take your word for it. I hate spicy food. My stomach can’t handle it.”

“... You don’t like spicy food? At all?” Asked Lance in shock. “We had chili for dinner last night…”

Keith shrugged. “It’s rude not to eat what you’re given… And um… I didn’t want to insult your parents… I mean, I’ve been thrown out of houses for less than that by shitty foster parents.”

“... You should have mentioned something.” Said Lance. “Mama wouldn’t have minded.”

“... I just didn’t want to upset anyone.” Said Keith quietly.

“But you’re feeling sick right? You shouldn’t eat stuff that makes you feel sick.” Said Lance.

“It doesn’t matter.” Said Keith. “... Please don’t tell her I don’t like spicy food.”

“Mama won’t be upset.”

“Just don’t. Please…” Said Keith as he started to pick at the sesame seeds on his burger bun. He just felt terrible. He’d eat whatever food was put in front of him. If he didn’t then he wouldn’t get to eat… He knew it wasn’t something he had to worry about anymore. But he couldn’t help himself. Keith sighed and took a bite of his food. Practically raw inside. Which was just how he liked it.

“Argh, why is the service here so awful?” Came the nazzly voice of the Karen. “And there’s animal hair all over the place. Ew, why is it purple? This is disgusting and unhygienic.”

Keith felt a lump form in his throat. She was talking about him, but he didn’t shed. He knew he didn’t shed. That wasn’t how his fur worked. It worked the same as the hair on top of any humans’s head.

“Ma’am.” Said the waitress. “There is no hair here. That is a thread. Please don’t jump to conclusions like that.”

Keith kept his eyes on his plate as he slowly chewed. He didn’t know if he should just quickly wolf down the rest of his food or if he should just leave. He hated going to public places like this. People hated him. They hated him a lot. He wished that he looked human. 

He felt Lance’s foot gently tapped Keith’s leg to get his attention. “You okay there?”

“Y-yeah… I’m fine… Let’s just eat and go…”

“Okay…” Lance ate some more of his food, then his eyes lit up. “Oh, Rachel went and got Ginger a new cat toy today. It’s a little mouse thing with catnip in it… Does it affect you?”

“How so?”

“Catnip.”

“Oh… I um… I don’t know… I don’t think anyone has tried to use that against me before…” He had a feeling that Lance was going to use this against him somehow.

***

Somehow they managed to finish eating without the Karen trying to make a big deal out of Keith just existing. Good thing too. If she had said anything else then Lance would have made sure to get her in the eye with some chili sauce.

Keith still seemed nervous and less talkative now after that, but Lance was determined to make Keith feel better. When they got home they went back to Lance’s room. Ginger followed them at a distance, but quickly ran over to Keith went he sat on the floor and jumped onto his lap.

“Aw, I think you have a girlfriend.” Teased Lance.

Keith rolled his eyes and carded his claws through her fur. “Well at least she’s cute… If only Ginger was a boy. I might consider it.” Ginger seemed very pleased by that statement and started to pur. It made Keith smile a little and that in turn made Lance smile.

He quickly left the room and came back with the catnip toy. Lance sat next to him and Ginger was immediately interested. She reached out with her paw and wiggled her toe beans for it. Lance held it out to her, and Ginger rubbed her face against it. Her pupils immediately dilated and she became a ball of purrs and happiness.

Lance grinned and held it up to Keith. “Want to give it a go?”

Keith seemed hesitant. “Won’t your parents get pissed off at me? Won’t they think I’ve taken drugs or something if I start acting like Ginger? I don’t need drug addict added to the long list of things that everyone thinks I am...” 

“Hey, if anything happens we can just say that we didn’t know catnip would affect you.” Said Lance calmly. “It’ll be fine.”

“... Okay.” Keith took the cat toy from him and sniffed it a few times. His pupils dilated to the point they were almost completely black, and he leaned against Lance. “... I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do much else today…”

Lance chuckled and helped Keith to his feet, taking him to his bed. “Well, you and Ginger can rest here for a bit. Just relax. You deserve it.”

“Hmmm, okay.” Keith laid down on his bed and patted the spot next to him. Ginger happily climbed up next to him and purred up a storm.

Lance smiled at him and headed downstairs. His mama had just come back in from the garden. “Hey mama. We’re back.”

“I can see that.” She said with a smile. “Are things going well with Keith? I know he’s a little uneasy about your papa… But I did have a firm word with him about being nicer to him.”

“Thank you mama.” Said Lance. “So what are you making for dinner tonight?”

“Spiced chicken and rice.” She said proudly. 

Lance hesitated a little. “Um… That sounds really nice but…”

She looked a little confused. “Is something wrong? Did you want something more specific? I can cook pretty much anything, as long as it has chicken in it. I already have the meat ready.”

“Oh, I was just thinking we could have something less spicy?”

His mother looked shocked. “Did going to that school ruin your tastebuds?”

“No, it didn’t.” Said Lance quickly. “I just… I kind of thought it would be nice to have something a little more mild… Um… Some people have been having a few issues with all the spices…” He technically didn’t say that it was Keith that was having the issues. So he was in the clear. Mostly.

His mama looked up at the ceiling, presumably in the direction of Lance’s room. “Hmm, he should have said something if spices upset his stomach so much…”

“He didn’t want to be rude.” Said Lance. “... He said that if he didn’t eat what he was given at the foster homes he stayed at he’d get thrown out… He knows you won’t, but he…”

“It’s okay.” Said his mama with a soft smile. “I’ll just make regular chicken and rice. Very little spices.”

“Thank you mama.” Said Lance. “Keith will really appreciate it… Also, we wanted to see if catnip affected him, so he’s kind of out of it on my bed with Ginger… He isn’t on drugs.”

His mother chuckled and shook her head. “Okay, okay… Just try and get him to sober up a little before your papa gets home. I don’t think he will take it very well.”

“Noted.” Lance went back up to his room and found both Keith and Ginger passed out together on his bed. He smiled at him and sat on the edge of his bed. He patted Ginger a few times and smiled at Keith. His ears were twitching slightly and he looked really relaxed. Maybe he should buy some catnip for Keith so he can chill out on the weekends back at school? That might be nice. He reached over and gently touched Keith’s ear. It wiggled a few times and Keith let out a small purr. He was too damn cute.


	174. Dual Class (monster and manna AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance wants Pike to dual class, but can you have guns in a fantasy setting? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“Dual class.” Said Lance.

Pidge looked up from her datapad and slowly raised an eyebrow. She had just been doing her own thing, trying to figure out how to emulate some old school earth games onto the Altean system when Lance came in. He didn’t even say hi to her. Just walked up and started talking.

“Dual class?” Asked Pidge. “Don’t you mean multiclass?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. I want Pike to dual class.”

“You’ll need to talk to Coran about it.”

“I know, but I want to know what you think.” Said Lance. “I want to dual class as a sharpshooter too. Make Pike a little more like me.”

“Really?”

“Hey, you’re lucky Keith didn’t ask if there was a brooding anime emo boy class.”

“Actually there is.”

“No way… Really?”

Pidge quickly opened up a new tab on her datapad and showed Lance a page on the official Monsters and Manna homebrew classes. “Edgelord.”

Lance quickly grabbed it off her and started reading through it. He did his best not to laugh as he read. “Oh my god… This is full of anime tropes and katana related powers… What the fuck is this? You can have a background called haunted yet convenient past?! Plot armor? Ridiculously impractical and ultra powerful final attack? Ha! I love it. This is Keith all over.”

Pidge pouted and swiped her datapad back. “Well I’m glad you find it funny. You still need to talk to Coran if you want to dual class as a sharpshooter.”

“I will.” Said Lance. “And when I’m a cool ninja sharpshooter you’ll all be sorry.” With that he left and went to find Coran.

***

The group had just successfully helped several villagers make it safely to the main womblax city. The leader of the caravan shook everyone’s hand. “Thank you.” They said. “Thank you so much for helping us. Here is the gold which we promised. 110 gold each.”

“It was a pleasure.” Said Shiro. “We’re more than happy to help.” 

While he went about dividing the gold among the party, the leader of the caravan took Pike aside. Pike had been really happy and connected with the other womblax in the caravan. It was interesting to see how they interacted with each other. Though they were all very cautious of Bolt when they saw him.

“Pike my boy,” they said. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep traveling with us? Your friends are interesting, but they aren’t exactly womblax are they?”

Pike chuckled. “Nah, I get it. But I’m going to keep traveling with them. Besides…” He looked over at Thundar who was currently readjusting his coat and brushing some twigs out of his hair. “I’m in love with that man.”

“Ah, I see. A bonded pairing?”

“We aren’t that far along yet…”

“Fair enough… Now, before you go, I want to give you something special. Come with me.” They followed them over to a caravan and they gave Pike a box. “Here you go. You earned it. Good luck.”

Pike opened it up and grinned when he saw what was inside. “Thank you so much.”

“What do you have there buddy?” Asked Block.

Pike grinned and took out a pistol. “A gun!”

***

“Hang on!” Said Keith quickly. “I thought this was a fantasy game? Why does Lance now have a gun?”

“Because guns are cool.” Said Lance. “And Coran said I could have it.”

Coran nodded. “Well you see Keith, in the E27 edition of Monsters and Manna there is a homebrew class called gunslinger. Lance wanted Pike to multiclass as a gunslinger-”

“Sharpshooter!”

“-and a rogue-”

“Ninja!”

“-so we talked about it and we decided he can have a gun.”

Keith still wasn’t convinced. “But who is making guns in this world? How would he get bullets for the gun? It isn’t some kind of energy blaster is it?”

“That would make it a little over powered…” Muttered Shiro.

Coran just tutted and shook his head. “Do you really think I would give Pike something so powerful? At the moment he only has ten bullets, and the instructions on how to make more. In this world, guns are difficult to come by, but not impossible. The Dwarves of the Ironfeld mountains have technology like cannons. In fact, they created the first hand cannons. Though you lot haven’t reached that part of the world yet. Meklavar would know about this because she has family there.”

Pidge nodded. “Yep… All twenty five uncles and aunts… That’s not including kids…”

“You still need to give me a family tree.”

“I know… I’m working on it.”

Hunk sighed. “You really should have decided to have less family…”

“I regret nothing.”

Allura cleared her throat. “Can we get back to the game? If you are satisfied with Coran’s answer, Keith?”

The red paladin still didn’t seem very happy with this development, but he conceded for now. “Fine.”

***

“A gun?” Asked Valayun as she walked over to them. “How strange… I have heard about these things before, but I never thought I would ever get to see one…”

Meklavar frowned a little. “Huh, more guns are making their way out of the Ironfeld mountains… Don’t go pointing that thing at anyone.”

“Relax.” Whined Pike. “I’ll be careful with it.” He holstered his weapon and the group happily walked into the city.

First things first, the group needed to figure out was where they were going to stay for the night. Block quickly found them a nice looking place to stay for the night. They sat around a table and ordered a few drinks and got dinner.

Meklavar got into a drinking contest with a stocky looking womblax. Shiro was trying to make sure that she wasn’t going to get too drunk. Block ended up talking to some people. Allura talked to the barmaid. Thundar and Pike stayed at their table eating. Thundar seemed a little grumpy.

“Something wrong there pointy ears?” Asked Pike. “Not enough roasted seeds?”

“No.” Pouted the half elf.

Pike sighed and leaned against his boyfriend’s arm. “Come on babe. I know something’s bothering you… I know, it’s because I have a cool new weapon and you don’t?”

“No.”

“Oh come on. We both know it is… I’ll let you use it from time to time? You already know how to handle my gun pretty well. I-”

***

“Let’s call it a night.” Said Hunk. “Sorry Lance, but we can only handle so much of Pike’s bad flirting before it becomes repetitive. Tone it back a little there buddy.”

Lance pouted, but nodded. “Yeah, okay. Fine. I’ll pull it back in. I’ll leave all my flirting for the bedroom.” He batted his eyelashes at Keith for emphasis.

Keith rolled his eyes. “You disgust me.”

“You love me.”

Pidge rolled her eyes and got up. “Alright, Imma head out. Gonna take a shower and cleanse myself of all your sinful shit.”

Lance pouted some more and wrapped his arms around Keith. “Boo, you’re boring. Let me be a sinful heathen.”

“Not here.” Said Shiro. “If you two want to be sinful then be sinful in your bedrooms.”

“Argh, fine!” Whined Lance as he stood up and pulled Keith to his feet. “Come on. I want to show you a class that I think would be perfect for Thundar. You get to use a sword.”

“Really?”

Lance grinned. “Yep. I think it’s pretty neat. The only sword you can carry is a katana though.”


	175. Scuffs and scrapes (Highschool AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let Keith sleep! He needs a nap! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was startled awake by a scream coming from Shiro’s room. He quickly jumped out of bed, his feet tangling in the bed sheets as he did, and he face planted the floor. He cursed to himself and quickly ran to the bedroom. When he got there he found Shiro sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking uncontrollably, and clutching at his stump. Adam was sitting next to him, rubbing his back.

“It’s okay.” Said Adam quietly. “You’re safe Takashi. You’re home.” He looked over at Keith. “Can you go and make some tea?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Keith walked to the kitchen and glanced at himself in the halfway mirror. He had split his bottom lip when he hit the floor. Also, it looked like he had gotten a bruise on his forehead from smashing his head into his desk earlier. Perfect.

He sighed and plugged the jug in and let the water boil. It was five in the morning and Keith needed to be up at six for school. Fuck it, he was only running on three hours of sleep anyway. He just needed to drink enough caffeine to give himself a coronary and he would be fine. He was glad he was one of those weird kids that actually liked the taste of instant coffee.

So while he made tea for both Adam and Shiro, Keith made himself an instant black coffee, no cream, no sugar… And since no one was there to scold him, he ate a few spoonfuls straight from the jar before putting it back. He really liked bitter and sour things. Whenever Adam bought grapes, Keith would quickly pick out all the tiny ones and snack on those throughout the afternoon until dinner.

He brought the two adults their drinks. Shiro seemed to have calmed down a lot, but he still looked very shaken up. “Sorry…” He mumbled. “I… I didn’t mean to… I just… I…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” Said Keith. “We knew this kind of stuff would happen when you…. Look, we’re just happy that you’re okay.”

“... What happened to your face?” Asked Shiro quietly.

Keith touched his split lip and shrugged. “Fell out of bed. Not a big deal. I’m just glad you’re okay. Just drink this and try to get some sleep… I’m just going to get ready for school.”

“Do you want me to drop you off today?” Asked Adam.

Keith shook his head. “No. I’d rather take the bus. But thanks anyway. I’m going to have a shower. You go back to sleep, Shiro.” Before Shiro or Adam could say anything, Keith went into the bathroom to shower and clean up his face. This was the third time he’d split his lip this year. He really needed to be more careful with himself. Someone was going to end up calling CPS at this point.

***

When Lance got to school the next day he went straight to his homeroom. He wasn’t that early, but he was still pretty early. He sat at his desk as he took out his homework for his first class to make sure that it was all in order. It was.

As he looked it over, one of the school’s biggest gossips, a rather nasty mean girl, and Lance’s ex, Nyma, happily talked among her friends about the latest school news. “- Looked like he was going to kill someone. He just looked at me on the bus and I felt my soul leave my body.” She shuddered. “Keith is so fucking scary in the morning.”

Instantly Lance’s attention was completely on her, but he was pretending to still be looking at his homework. Nyma and Keith caught the same bus route to school, so Lance was always privy to hearing about Keith’s antics. He knew that she did embellish a lot of things, but there was always a grain of truth in what she said.

“He must have been in a fight. Crazy bastard got another split lip.” She said. “Bruises on his face, cuts. LIke, holy shit. Who did he piss off this time?”

“I heard he fights other kids at that shitty public school.” Said one of Nyma’s friends. “Well, I guess that’s kind of a good thing. It’s like he’s some lone wolf, guard dog thing?”

The image of Keith standing in some dark alleyway, armed with nothing more than a baseball bat. With a smirk on his face he would shrug off his jacket as he’s surrounded by delinquents of other schools. With a smirk he would beat the shit out of them, and come out on top.

“He’s still a violent sociopath.” Said Nyma. 

Suddenly the door was pushed open just a little too hard and Keith walked into the room. Nyma was right, Keith did look like he had gotten punched in the face. He sat down at his own desk, looked through his bag, and took out some kind of energy drink. He watched as Keith cracked it open and quickly chugged it… And no, Lance was totally not watching Keith’s Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat with each gulp. That would just be creepy… Why was Keith so sexy?

Before Lance could indulge himself any further in his Keith watching, their teacher walked in and started role call and started to read out the announcements, and or pass out notes for anyone that needed them.

All too soon the bell rang and everyone wandered off to class. Lance didn’t have many classes with Keith today, which was disappointing, but Lance couldn’t let that bring him down. He was going to be the best student possible… Which of course was a fucking lie. Lance’s labido was a raging beast. As soon as puberty hit and he had his first wet dream, his hormones practically were in control. 

Early on Lance had tried to keep himself under control by keeping a rubber band on his wrist and snapping it when he had dirty thoughts… He might have accidentally conditioned himself to become a masochist that way. He had confided in Hunk and Pidge about his problem and if they did anything to stop themselves from getting so worked up they had to relieve themselves… 

Pidge just laughed at him and told him he Pavloved himself. Something that Lance did not appreciate, but understood that he kind of did condition himself to associate pain with sexual pleasure. Hunk was a little more sympathetic, but he didn’t have a libido as intense as his was.

So here Lance was, looking at a bunch of topography maps in geography and wishing he was dead. Well, at least it helped kill his potential boner for a few hours. What kind of a person would get all horny from looking at squiggly lines and wonder what the altitude in that desert was?

Then he remembered that one time that Keith came into class, a few scuffs and scrapes on his person, covered in sand… He just shook his head and sat at his desk like nothing had happened. Now Lance was thinking about Keith pinning him down at a beach… No, it had to be the desert. 

Keith would strip him down to his underwear and force him to his knees. Make him choke his dick, pull his hair, nearly make him black out, make him swallow his cum… And then kick him in the stomach and fuck him raw into the sand.

“...” Lance quickly put his hand up. “Mrs Thicket? Can I please have a bathroom pass?”

Once Lance got a bathroom pass and quickly took care of himself and splashed some water on his face. He really needed to calm down. He seriously either needed to get hit by a car or get laid by someone… Hopefully someone similar to Keith, or like, actually Keith… Though he could just imagine how a conversation like that would go with Keith...

***

“What?” Keith would ask, almost laughing. “Are you joking?”

“I-I’m not joking.” Lance would say. “I… I really like you. I think-”

Keith would slam him against the wall to shut him up and glare at him. “I don’t give a fuck. What the fuck makes you think that I’d ever want you? I’ve had more pussy than a cat rescue shelter and more cocks than a hen house.” Yes, in Lance’s mind Keith was bisexual until proven otherwise where he could be hopeful or just die of embarrassment and shame. “Why the fuck would I want you? Some skinny little bitch that fucking st-st-stutters when he talks. I can have anyone I want any day of the week.”

Lance would gulp, feeling his saliva running down his throat. “I can take anything you throw at me.” He’d say. “No matter what you do to me I can take it. I’m tougher than I look.”

Keith would pull a disgusted face and give Lance a once over with his eyes. “You aren’t even worth my time.” He’d start to walk away, and Lance would call out for him to stop, but Keith would just shoot him the most apathetic look possible and say; “I don’t even know who you are.”

***

That thought hurt, but Lance knew that it was the most logical outcome. He didn’t know Keith. Keith was a delinquent that lived in a whole different world to him. He sighed heavily and went to open the bathroom door when it slammed straight into his face and sent him stumbling back in pain as he clutched his face.

“Mother fucker!” He hissed.

“Oh shit, are you okay?” Asked a rather husky voice.

“Do I look okay?” Growled Lance as he looked up at Keith. Instantly Lance froze up as he realised that Keith just smacked him in the face with a door. Keith hit him and now he was talking to him. A warm feeling quickly started to swirl around in his pelvis, and Lance had to will himself not to pop a boner. He just jerked off for crying out loud.

Keith looked at him closely and sighed before he went into one of the stalls and grabbed some toilet paper. He then walked over to Lance and started to dab the paper against Lance’s bottom lip. Lance’s brain kind of stopped working for a few seconds before everything rebooted and he took a step back.

“What are you doing?”

Keith just rolled his eyes and stepped close to him again. “First aid dumbass.” He muttered. This time he wet the toilet paper and continued to dab. “Look, head injuries always bleed the worst because it’s your head. Lots of blood vessels and shit up there. You’ll be fine. Your nose doesn’t look broken… You didn’t feel or hear a crunch or anything, did you?”

“N-no…”

“Okay… You might want to go to the nurse anyway. Just in case.”

“Okay… So um, what are doing here?”

Keith gave Lance a confused look and gestured to a urinal. “I want to take a piss.”

Lance could feel his face flush red with embarrassment. “R-right. I um… Bye.” He quickly left before he said something else that was even more stupid than before. But once he was out of the bathroom he quietly cursed himself. He just talked to Keith and asked him what he was doing in a bathroom. He was a fucking idiot.

***

Keith quickly finished in the bathroom. He kind of wondered if that guy he smacked with the door was okay. He did hit him pretty hard. Maybe he should have asked him to wait so they could walk to the nurses office together? Coran was a pretty nice guy. He let Keith nap in the sick bay when he really needed to, like now. 

Mostly because he knew of Keith’s medical history and terribly insomnia. It had been explained in depth to the principal when he was first enrolled. His teachers were always informed at the beginning of the year with an email. Keith wasn’t sure if this technically meant he had a disability or if it even fell under the same category. It wasn’t like he was mentally or cognitively disabled. He just had trouble sleeping.

He walked to the nurses office and quickly knocked before entering. Coran looked over at him and grinned. “Ah, nice to see you again lad. Need to take a nap?”

“Yeah.”

Coran pointed to one of the beds in the corner of the room. “Take that bed. Is your insomnia improving or is it still a little unstable?”

Keith chuckled a little as he went over to the bed and kicked off his shoes. “My brother came back home today… He has pretty severe PTSD, so we’re all just learning how to cope with it… I’m pretty sure he has night terrors now, so we’re all going to get woken up randomly at night for a while.”

Coran nodded as he went over to the medicine cabinet. “Ah yes. Mental health is one of the more difficult illnesses to deal with. Is he getting any help?”

“Adam is sorting that out… I think he just wants a few days to make sure that Shiro is settled before they start looking into that stuff.” Keith lied down on the mattress and yawned a little. He really needed this. “Just… Wake me up at lunch time…” He mumbled.

Coran chuckled at Keith’s mumbling. “Of course. Call out if you need anything.”

Keith hummed a little and quickly fell asleep. Coran kept his word and gently woke Keith up around lunch time. Keith felt a little more refreshed and like he might be able to go through the last classes of the day after some food.

He made his way to the cafeteria and got in line. Today was pizza day. Which was pretty cool. Keith liked pizza. Though they only had a choice between margarita and pepperoni. Keith preferred Hawiian pizza, but it was what it was. He got a slice of pepperoni pizza, some salad, a fruit cup, and some juice.

Keith sat at his usual table away from everyone else. He was always kind of surprised that no one ever wanted to sit with him. Even the more asshole kids avoided him. After years of this, Keith just felt like maybe he just gave off an that people just didn’t like. He had talked to Adam and Shiro about it, and they said he should try and be more open to make friends… Well, he was a senior now, going to graduate in a few months, and still friendless. He just wasn’t meant to have friends, apparently.

He sighed and ate his pizza. The dough was heavy and felt like something store bought in his mouth. He preferred making pizza at home with Shiro… Sure the base was always burnt and the cheese was always a little too crispy, but it was fun. He liked doing those kinds of things with Shiro. Maybe they could do it again in the future? It would be nice. Keith really missed him, but Adam was his husband and arguably needed more time with him.

They probably needed more time together than he did with Shiro. They were probably going out to lunch, or walking around the neighbourhood to get him used to everything again. That kind of upset him a little. He wanted to help Shiro with that stuff too… He really missed him and wanted to hug him and mess around with him the way brothers would.

He sighed and started poking at his salad with a fork. He poked at the tomato as he looked around the cafeteria at no one inparticular. His eyes eventually fell on the boy he had smacked the bathroom door earlier. He had a tissue shoved up his nose, bit all in all he seemed fine. 

He was talking with two other people. Keith recognized them. The shorter was Pidge. Pidge had skipped a grade and was always winning science prizes along with the other guy, Hunk. Though Hunk seemed to prefer cooking, if memory served. He wasn’t so sure. But he knew that Hunk was a really nice person. Seemed to be friends with pretty much everyone.

That made him frown a little. Hunk was nice to everyone, but he wasn’t nice to him… However that could be because they never actually talked. He sighed and went back to poking at his salad. What was he going to do if he even had friends anyway? He had no free time anyway so he wouldn’t hang out with friends even if he wanted to. All his time after school was either spent at his part time job, catching up on school work, or sleeping.

He sighed and quickly finished up his lunch. No point in getting worked up about things that he was never going to have. Keith checked his class schedule, he had math’s next. Which was fine. Keith understood numbers. It was one of his easiest classes. He could do this stuff with his eyes closed.

When he got to class he was actually surprised to see that the kid he accidentally smashed in the face with the door was in his class. Was he always in his class? Probably. Should he ask him if his face is okay? Would that be rude? Would he get in trouble for it? It was totally an accident and he would have been called to the office by now if he was in trouble… Fuck it, he felt guilty about hurting him.

He put his stuff down on his desk, which he was surprised to see was in front of this guy’s desk. “Hey.”

The guy jumped in shock. He seemed surprised that Keith was talking to him, and maybe a little scared? “H-hey.” They said. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much.” Said Keith. “Um… Is your nose okay?”

“Oh, yeah.” They said. “Still stings and stuff, but it’s not bleeding and I can still breathe out of it.”

“That’s good.” Said Keith. It quickly became awkward between them, so Keith sat down at his desk and got his things for class out. He probably should have asked what the guy’s name was… Well now everything felt so damn awkward. He couldn’t just very well ask the guy what his name was now, right? How the hell was he going to find out this guy’s name without having to awkwardly ask what it was? Thankfully, before he had to think about that any longer the teacher came in and started the lesson.


	176. Village (AtLA AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The group gets to Hunk's village, and Blue does the ultimate betrayal! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The group happily sat around the campfire as they ate a delicious stew that Hunk had made. Blue was happily pecking away at some of the worms that Lance had bought for her before they left the city. She made a few very happy quacks when she was done eating and waddled over to the fire and happily curled up to sleep. Rover curled up next to her.

“Aw, they are so cute.” Cooed Lance.

Shiro chuckled and looked over at Hunk. “So, we’ve been out on the road for a few days now. How much longer until we get to your village?”

“Only a few more days.” Said Hunk. “With any luck we’ll be there by Monday.”

“Oh cool.” Said Lance. “Should be close to a full moon by then. I can show you all some really cool waterbender stuff then.”

Keith tuned out all the banter. While it was kind of nice to travel with people, he didn’t really like traveling with people. It was just more of a chance for Keith to accidentally set everything on fire and then everyone would hate him again and kick him out of whatever this was. At least a firebender’s powers were weaker at night. 

He ate his soup quietly, took seconds when offered, and put his dishes away when he was done. He then set up his bedroll and went to sleep before everyone else. It wasn’t that he hated being around other people but he felt that the less he interacted with them the better. Keith pretty much pretended to be asleep while the others talked. He was pretty sure that Shiro knew he was awake. Pretending to sleep was something he usually did.

“So what’s the fire nation like these days?” Asked Pidge. “I’m assuming not as war crazy?”

“Pidge, that’s rude.” Whispered Hunk.

“What? They have kind of been dicks for a long time.” She said. “You don’t see airbenders doing that shit.”

“We tend to be more pacifists by nature.” Said Shiro calmly. “Then again… There have been some stories about air nomads that could completely remove the air from a room or completely from someone’s lungs…”

“Brutal.” Muttered Pidge. “More soup?”

“Damn girl.” Said Lance. “That’s like your fourth bowl.”

“I have an extremely high metabolism. Give me the food.”

“We’re all out Pidge.”

“Damn it… Got any booze?”

“Are you even old enough to drink?” Asked Lance.

“I’m old enough to put you in another hole.”

“Now, now.” Said Shiro. “No fighting you two. We still have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow. We should rest up.”

“Yeah, we probably should…” Muttered Lance. “Where’s Blue?”

There was some silence for a few moments as everyone shuffled around. Pidge suddenly started to chuckle. “Blue parked herself next to Keith’s butt.”

“...” Keith shifted slightly and felt something bump against his butt. It did indeed seem like Blue had decided to sleep next to his butt. He did not know how to feel about this.

“I feel so betrayed…” Muttered Lance.

***

Eventually the group ended up in Hunk’s village by Chameleon Bay. Lance was super excited to see where Hunk grew up. Hunk was very happy to be back home too. A lot of the villagers were happy to see Hunk and waved at him as he trundled along the mainroad in his cart towards his parents' place.

When they got there, an older man was sitting outside doing some whittling. His eyes lit up and he grinned. “Hey there kiddo. You’re back… and you brought along a little more than just a waterbender…”

Hunk chuckled as he got out of the cart and hugged his dad. “Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. But we picked up some people that were going the same way as us. So this is Lance, the waterbender I told you about, Pidge, Keith, and Shiro.”

The older man grinned and happily shook everyone’s hand. “Nice to meet you all. Where do you boys come from?”

“Keith and I both come from the fire nation.” Said Shiro.

“I’m from Kyoshi island.” Said Pidge. “Also, I’m a Kyoshi warrior.”

Hunk’s dad gave Pidge an odd look before he nodded. “Ah, my mistake. I thought you were a man.”

“I get that a lot.”

Hunk chuckled a little and gestured back to the cart. “Just gonna set these guys up in the stable.”

“You do that.” Said his father before he looked back at the four. “It might be a bit of a squeeze, but I think we can fit you all in the house.”

“We really appreciate your hospitality.” Said Shiro. “If it’s too much trouble some of us could sleep outside. The stars in the countryside are very beautiful this time of the year.”

The older man chuckled and happily welcomed the group inside. They were soon joined by Hunk. Hunk wanted to stay for at least three weeks in his village, which the others thought was fair enough. The village seemed to be a mostly fishing based town. Made sense since they were right on the bay. The second Lance was allowed to explore, he happily ran into the bay. Blue waddled after him as fast as her little flippers could carry her.

He happily walked around the water while Blue weaved in between his legs. “You’re such a good girl Blue.” He said. Blue happily quacked a few times as she swam around his legs some more. She was such a cute girl. He loved her.

He saw a few children playing and decided to do a little bending to make things a little more interesting for them. With a bit of foot work and the sway of his arms, he made a wave that went just a little higher than the kids knees, just catching their pants. They squealed and quickly ran back to the safety of the shoreline.

***

As Lance was being Lance, Shiro and Keith were trying to do some more meditating. Well, Keith was meant to be meditating. Shiro was just there to launch Keith into the bay if he started another fire. Which was very possible. Shiro was trying to talk him through some meditation, which had very limited effects.

“Deep breath in, let that air collect everything holding you down, and then breath out.” Said Shiro calmly. “Just let all that air take all that heavy, negative energy out of your body. Just floating away. Listen to the sounds of the ocean and-”

“This is dumb.” Muttered Keith. “Shiro, what if I never… What if I can’t control my fire? What if all of this is pointless?”

“It isn’t pointless.” Said Shiro calmly. “Keith, your firebending isn’t pointless. You can do this. You just need to-”

“Learn how to control it.” Grumbled Keith. 

“And you can kind of control it.” Pointed out Shiro. “You can control small amounts of fire. It’s not that impressive to you, but it really is to everyone else… Keith, you just need to learn how to control larger fire and the fire burning within you to-”

“And if I can’t?” Snapped Keith. “If I can’t control my power then what? Where do I go? I can’t go back home if…”

Shiro put his hand on his shoulder. “Keith. I know you can do this. I believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself.”

Keith rolled his eyes and huffed. “Yeah… I know…” Keith still didn’t believe in himself.

***

While the boys were off doing that, Pidge stayed around Hunk’s family home. She did a lot of her daily exercises, and then went about trying to move a horseshoe with her mind. It wasn’t working. She had been trying to move it like she did with earth, but it just wasn’t working. It was so frustrating.

“Argh!”

“Are you doing okay?” Asked Hunk.

Pidge sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I’m still trying to metalbend… It’s not working.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it in no time.”

“Hunk! You’re back!”

The two looked over at a rather tall and muscular looking woman. She walked over all smiles and cheerfulness. Pidge noticed that Hunk looked kind of star struck to see her too. He smiled at her and waved.

“Hey Shay. It’s nice to see you again.”

“It’s nice to see you too.” She smiled and brushed a small bit of hair behind her ear. “It’s always nice when you come back. I miss, I mean, everyone misses you.”

He smiled softly at her. “I missed everyone too.”

Pidge watched the two of them interact and slowly raised an eyebrow. “So… You two dating?”

The two villagers quickly became extremely flustered. “What? No. Sh-Shay’s my friend.” Said Hunk quickly. “Um, right, introductions. Shay, this is Pidge. She’s a Kyoshi warrior and trying to learn how to metalbend. Pidge, this is Shay. My childhood friend and farmer.”

Shay smiled at Pidge and shook her hand in an iron grip. “It’s nice to meet you Pidge.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Said Pidge. “Damn, that’s a strong grip you got there.”

“That;s years of farm work for you.” She said. “You either learn how to fish or you work the land. The family has a large plot of land and my brother already picked up fishing, so it was just natural that I… Is that an iguana parrot?”

Pidge looked over at Rover who had decided to see if he could eat his way through a barrel. “Yeah. That’s Rover.” She whistled and the animal quickly perked up and flew over to her, landing on her shoulder. “Hey there buddy. Wanna meet Shay? You can pat him if you like.”

“Oh, okay…” Shay cautiously reached out and let Rover sniff her a few times before they quickly ran up her shoulder and perched there. “Oh! Does this mean they like me?”

“Yeah. He also likes to be tall.” Said Pidge. “Always climbing the tallest thing to get a better view of the world. You’re the tallest out of all three of us, so it’s only natural he’d climb you like a tree.”

She laughed a little and gently patted the animal. Rover made happy preening noises. “He’s a good boy. I love him.” With that, Pidge immediately liked Shay. Sure they were already leaning on the side of liking her since Hunk seemed infatuated with her, but she said she loved Rover. So she was automatically in her good books.


	177. Distress call (Hellpoint AU I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sci-fi horror au set a bit after everyone finds out that Keith is half Galra but before he completely runs off to join the blade? Something like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New horror AU! Tell me what you guys think of it so far. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was just another normal day in the castleship. Everyone was just going about their business unless they were off doing some castle maintenance. Pidge and Hunk were helping Coran in the library. They were figuring out which books needed to be scanned and saved to the castleship’s database. Coran has said that it was important that they make sure that as much of Altea’s history is saved, considering that he and Allura were the last Altean’s after all.

“So I believe I have most of the nonhistory section completed, but I haven’t gone through the ancient history section yet.”

“We can go through that.” Said Hunk. “Sounds kind of interesting.”

So the duo went through the ancient history section with Hunk reading off book titles while Pidge checked them off. It was a slightly tedious process, but if Pidge was honest it was a nice escape from doing programming.

“History of the Gods by Heleax Slowknot?”

“Check.”

“Ancient and extinct; A Story of Life ending by Alabashious Megoreo?”

“Got it.”

“Altax; The Chosen People by Senrah Todo?”

“... Nope. What the hell is that about?” Asked Pidge as they looked over at Hunk.

The book looked pretty hefty and the cover was black with gold lettering. Hunk read the back. “Okay let’s see… This book attempts to delve into the life of the mysterious Altaxons. Who were they? What were their beliefs? Why did they all mysteriously vanish?”

Pidge raised an eyebrow. “They vanished?”

Hunk shrugged and handed the book over to them. “I guess? I’ve never heard of them before. Coran might have an idea about them though. He knows a lot of stuff.”

“True…” Pidge walked to the end of the bookshelves. “Hey Coran?! We have a question for you!”

In an instant Coran was there. “Yes? What did you find?”

Pidge held up the book. “Altaxons?”

Coran nodded as he took the book. “Ah yes… The Altaxon… Altax was the last country to stand against the One Planet Monarchy movement. Their country was situated on a peninsula, they were isolationists and wouldn’t let anyone that wasn’t born in Altax beyond the ports and markets. All of them mysteriously died during the Solar Blackout event. On an unrelated note, we were using an archaic form of power back then and the blackout caused the destruction of dozens of servers which destroyed a lot of information from that time.”

“So a blackout caused an entire country to die?” Questioned Hunk. “That sounds a little suspicious…”

Coran shrugged. “It’s just the most widely accepted explanation. Todo comes up with several different theories for their sudden death, everything ranging from the Ancient Ones intervening to the Altaxons actually experiencing a plague of some kind… One of the more conspiratorial theories about it being a tactical genocide as punishment for not conforming to the rest of the planet.”

“What do you think it is?” Asked Pidge.

The older man thought for a moment. “Well… It really could be anything. Seeing as how many of the first hand records are destroyed, I’m not really sure. It could really be anything. The only thing it probably wasn’t was the Ancient’s theory. Which was that the Altaxons ascended into paradise. But that is just religious mambo jumbo.”

“So, like heaven?” Asked Hunk.

Coran shrugged. “Well, if that’s what humans believe happens to your quintessence leaves your body, then yes.”

***

Later that evening when the books had been scanned, Pidge was reading the book on the Altaxons on the couch. She needed something, anything to distract her from her programming stuff for a few hours. As she read, Lance jumped over the back of the couch and landed next to her.

“Hey Pidgeon.” He said. “What are you looking at?”

“Hey Lance. I found a book on ancient Altean stuff.”

“Oh? What kind of stuff?”

“Apparently some Altean country just poofed out of existence. Kind of reminds me of Atlantis.”

That peaked Lance’s interest. “Oh? Their country just fell into the ocean?”

“Nah, everyone just died.” Said Pidge. “It’s pretty interesting. This was something before Coran’s time.”

“Seriously? That’s old…” Mused Lance. “So… Alien Alteans?”

“Pretty much. From what I’ve read they were wicked smart. You see all the shit around us? They apparently had this back when they were still a country.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It would be like… Pick a random country from the 21st century and shove that in the dark ages. That was the Altaxons.”

Lance let out a low whistle. “Wow… that’s… That’s pretty crazy… Think it’s possible for them to do that?”

Pidge shrugged. “Maybe? Who knows? No idea.”

“What part are you up to?”

“Religion.” Said Pidge. “Not too sure if some of the things they painted on walls were actual animals or are mythical things from Altean culture.” She showed Lance an image that depicted people getting whipped before a menacing looking monster. “The book says it possibly depicts punishment as penance from a divine god. It says it’s some god called Atuqualute. No idea who the hell that is.”

“Is this a quetzalcoatl situation?” Asked Lance. “Like, we know he is super important and at the time everyone knew him so well that no one really put down what they were the god of? And now in the modern day we don’t know shit about them?”

“Maybe. I’ll ask Coran or Allura about it when I see them.”

Almost as if on cue, Allura walked into the room with Keith and Shiro following behind her. Allura was talking to Shiro and Keith was kind of trudging behind them. He looked like he had just finished some time up in the training deck.

“Hey Allura, I have a question for you.” Said Pidge.

“Hmm? What is it Pidge?” She asked her.

Pidge showed her what was on her datapad. “Hunk and I found a book on the Altaxons. So I was reading it and saw this thing. Who’s Atuqualute?”

Allura seemed surprised as she looked at the datapad. “Oh, it has been a long time since I have heard that name… Atuqualute was part of the pantheon of Ancient ones. The gods of Altea. He was the gatekeeper and when you died, he would either let you pass your quintessence on back into the universe or he would send you to Valoquakolake, the guard beast. They were the Ancient one responsible for sending people into the eternal darkness, unable to put their quintessence back out into the universe.”

“So Altean hell?” Asked Lance.

Allura shrugged. “Maybe? If I remember correctly, some versions state that Atuqualute and Valoquakolake were the same god, but a shadow version of each other or something… I didn’t pay too much attention to the finer details of religious studies back in school.”

“What happened to the Altaxons?” Asked Shiro. “Were they taken over by some other country?”

Allura shook her head. “Oh no. The country of Altax all died out. No one is really sure what happened due to the solar blackout and the fact that the Altaxons were a very private people… But if I had to choose, I’d say they either had been infected with some kind of illness, or if they might have been slaughtered by my ancestors.”

“... Your people did what now?” Asked Lance, kind of dumbfounded.

Allura shrugged. “It was something well before my time. Back in Ancient Altea. I can’t be held responsible for the things my ancestors did. There isn’t much I can do about it either. Altea is no more, and so is all the evidence of that could or did happen to Altax.”

“That’s still pretty messed up…” Said Lance quietly.

“Have you ever read a history book?” Asked Keith. “If humans aren’t at war with people they are trying to figure out how to get away with genocide.”

“... Yeah, okay. That’s fair.” Muttered Lance. “But that still doesn’t mean I like hearing about it.”

“It’s still interesting though.” Said Pidge as she looked through the datapad. 

“If you are more interested in learning about Ancient Altea, Coran might be able to help you out with this a little more?” Suggested Allura.

The door opened up again and Coran came walking in with Hunk. Coran was eating something that looked like a puke green and blue swirled muffin. Hunk was carrying a tray of said muffins. “Hey guys.” Said Hunk. “Want to try these? They taste like orange poppy seed muffins, but without the poppy seeds.” He walked past people, let them take what they wanted, and placed the tray of the table. “So, what’s going on?”

Pidge held up her datapad. “Altaxons and religious stuff. Now we’re just talking about religion.”

Coran’s eyes lit up. “Oh, mind if I join in?”

“By all means.” Said Pidge.

“Okay, Ancient Alteans were very, very big on the concept of all beings possessing a good and bad side. So a lot of the gods had duel personalities.” Explained Coran. “Atuqualute’s shadow counterpart is Valoquakolake. The main god is Malamala, the god of life. Their counterpart would be Nanokala. The god that lives in the realm beyond the black rainbow that Valoquakolake makes the worst of the worst cross when they die.”

Lance nodded. “I see… So Malamala is like God and Nanokala is Satan.”

“No. Malamala is a god, not like a god.” Corrected Coran.

“That’s not what he meant.” Said Shiro. “On Earth there is a religion called Christianity and the god of their religion is just called God. They are generally considered good, creator of everything, and Satan is this demon that rules over hell where evil people go where they die.”

Both Altean’s looked very confused. “Doesn’t that get confusing?” Asked Allura. “And if Satan has their own domain, are they not themselves a god?”

“... It’s best not to think about it too deeply.” Muttered Shiro. “Most religions kind of fall apart when you pick at them…”

“Very true.” Said Coran. “Anyway, Nanokala and Valquakolake have always gotten along very well… Then again so have Malamala and Atuqualute, so I guess it’s only natural that they would since their counterparts get along.”

“What’s the black rainbow?” Asked Hunk. “Sounds kind of… evil… But you know, I don’t know anything about Ancient Altean religions so I hope it isn’t offensive.”

“Not at all.” Said Coran. “The black rainbow isn’t really a rainbow, it’s more like a bridge made of dark quintessence. Anti quintessence? Either way it became a more colloquial way of saying someone has died for many, many a deca phoeb. Oh you used to hear people saying that their beloved little woblob has past beyond the black rainbow… But it fell out of fashion when I was but a young sprout during the scientific revolution. Well, it had actually started when my great-great grandfather was born, but religion was practically phased out by then.”

“So modern day Altean’s aren’t religious?” Asked Pidge.

“Not in the slightest.” Said Allura. “... That being said some religious practices did stick, such as holidays and what not… Though they were changed to reflect more Altean values rather than worshiping any god.”

“Huh, okay…” Pidge continued to look through the datapad. Old Altean stuff was kind of interesting as a distraction.

***

About a week later Pidge had all but forgotten about the Altaxons and it was just a footnote in her memory, and probably something everyone else had already forgotten. Not that it really mattered that much. It was just a bit of trivia.

As she tinkered with some machinery there was a call over the intercoms for all paladin’s to come to the bridge. She got there relatively quickly since she was pretty close to there already. After a few minutes the rest of the paladin’s showed up.

“What’s going on?” Asked Shiro.

“We received a distress signal.” Said Allura.

“Then we should go.”

Coran cringed slightly. “Ah, probably not such a good idea… The signal has come from near the center of the Bortoras system. It’s notorious for electromagnetic storms, meteor showers, stray asteroids, and quite a sizable blackhole. We also got a strange looking code mixed in with the signal that we are currently running through Pidge’s cypher program. Not sure how long that is going to take… The code could be very important.”

“How so?” Asked Lance.

“Well, it could tell us their status.” Said Coran. “Like, what went wrong. Could even be a warning to stay away because something happened to a crew. You never know. The universe is a very dangerous place if you aren’t careful.”

“So what are we going to do?” Asked Hunk.

“I’m going to use the teludav to get us close to the coordinates.” Said Allura. “We can assess the situation from there and maybe talk to someone there. With any luck we won’t end up in a storm. Shields will be up the whole time just in case.”

“What if we get there and no one is alive?” Asked Keith. “What then?”

“Then we figure out what happened to them.” Said Allura. She walked over to the teludav and prepared herself. “Coran, please input the coordinates and raise the shields.” The man nodded and quickly performed his task. Once the shields were up, Allura sent them through the wormhole and into the Bortorax system.

The first thing everyone saw was the giant blackhole at the center of this solar system. Pidge watched in fascination as light and matter seemed to warp and spin around the edges in burning gold as it sucked everything in. It was so strange. She kind of felt humbled by it.

“Whoa…” Said Lance. “Um, we aren’t going to get sucked into that, right?”

“We’re a safe distance away from the gravitational pull.” Said Coran.

“Where is the signal coming from?” Asked Hunk. “Not the blackhole, right? Please tell me it’s not the blackhole…”

Coran frowned a little as he quickly looked over the computer. “No, not that close… There!” 

The image of a space station came into view. But it didn’t really look like a space station. It was more like someone had ripped a city out of the ground, stuck some rockets to it, and shoved it in space.

“What is that?” Asked Pidge in shock. “That does not look like a space station.”

“Let’s just see if we can get a signal.” Said Allura calmly. A few moments later Coran opened up a signal. “Hello? This is Princess Allura of Altea. We are the paladins of Voltron. We received your distressed signal. Can anyone hear us? We are here to help.”

There was a static buzzing for a few minutes before a voice was finally transmitted. _“Seriously? Holy shit, I never thought that… Fuck… Look, my name is Fewbar. I’m a junker. I was following some fucking Galra ship that was coming here. Though the ship would get scrapped and I could find some stuff to sell but… I’m trapped in the residential district and-”_ A loud unsettling groan echoed through the speakers. _“Shit, they found me… Look. I have to go before they find me… Oh! Whatever you do, don’t trust the Architect. They-”_ Fewbar was cut off as the sound of metal tearing echoed through the speakers, quickly followed a monstrous shriek, the sound of gunfire, and then the communication was cut off.

Everyone was stunned into silence for a few seconds as they tried to comprehend what they just heard. Shiro was the first to jump into action.

“Alright, this is a hostile situation.” He said. “We’ll take Red and Black down to the station. If things go sideways, they should be the quickest to get out. Princess, are you going to come with us on this mission?”

“Of course.” She said. “This is a hostile situation and the more hands we have on deck the better.” She looked over at Coran. “Coran, continue to decrypt that code and keep the shields up. We can’t risk the castleship getting hit by a stray asteroid.”

Coran seemed a little hesitant. “Alright… But be careful out there, all of you. We don’t know what is on that station. It could be anything.” With the promises to Coran that they would be safe, the team quickly headed down to the hanger.


	178. Bake sale (HolyHell AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a very good boy... Mostly... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith kind of felt like Lance was taking the piss out of him. The food stall he was helping out was selling angel food cake and devil’s food cake. For some reason the little old lady he was with thought it would be a fun idea to make it a competition to see who could sell the most cake. So Keith was stuck selling devil’s food cake.

He didn’t see how this could be devil’s food cake. It was just a dense chocolate cake. There was not a bit of alcohol or weed in them. This was ridiculous. Stupid humans. At least the angel food cake was made from a very airy sponge cake, and as far as he could tell, it wasn’t made with alcohol… He could smell the rum cake a few stalls down though. Now that was devil’s food cake.

People came and went, buying cakes from people and happily eating as they walked by. It was interesting to see such a blatant display of gluttony. Not one of Keith’s typical sins that he dabbled in, but it was still interesting nonetheless.

Around midday Lance came walking by with two styrofoam cups of tea. “Hi Mrs Grant. I’m going by and passing tea out for everyone before I go and get some lunch for everyone. Would you like an Earl grey tea?”

“Oh yes please.” She said as she happily took the cup. “You’re a god send Pastor.”

“Aw, think nothing of it.” Lance looked at Keith and flashed that smile that made Keith start to feel weak in the knees. “You want a tea too?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Keith took the tea and sipped it. He hadn’t really had tea before. It was kind of weird.

“Cool. I’m going to get the sandwiches.”

“Do you want help?” Asked Keith. “I can help you hand stuff out and it can get done twice as fast.”

Lance looked over at Mrs Grant. “Would you mind if I borrow him for a few minutes?”

“Go ahead Pastor. My angel food cake is winning anyway.” She said with a wink.

“I’d hope so.” Said Lance. He gestured for Keith to follow him. Which Keith happily did. He followed Lance into the little office in the back of the church where Lance had some coolers to keep some of the cakes and sandwiches for the volunteers fresh. Lance happily looked through the coolers for lunch. “How do you like the bake sale?”

“It’s interesting.” Said Keith. “I never really thought that I’d be involved in one of these things… Thanks for trusting me enough to do this…”

Lance seemed a little surprised before he smiled at him. “Keith, why wouldn’t I trust you? Sure you’re a little weird, but I don’t think you would steal. I mean, you haven’t robbed me and run away.”

Keith blushed slightly and he quickly looked away. “Oh… Well it’s probably really bad luck to rob a Pastor…”

“Eh, probably. Here take this.” He handed Keith a box. Keith might have placed his hands on top of Lance’s, just so he could have a little bit of skin contact with him. He might have lingered a little longer than he should have over the scar on Lance’s ring finger, but it was worth it in his mind. Lance was the first to pull away. “So remember, people have a choice between ham and cheese or egg salad. I have the vegan one and a few vegetarian ones for the volunteers that asked for them. Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it.” Keith went about distributing sandwiches to the volunteers. Every now and then he would look around to see if Lance was around. The Pastor looked happy as he talked to the older people and some of the younger mums. 

When he did that, Keith could feel a small ball of jealousy slowly starting to build up deep within his guts. Lance was his bride, but he couldn’t win Lance over. If he was a proper succubus he would have been able to change his sex so he could be female and maybe Lance would feel like it was less blasphemous… But he wasn’t one, so he couldn’t.

He ended up back at his stall trying to sell devil’s food cake while nibbling on a ham and cheese sandwich. He still watched Lance mingling with everyone and helping out anyone’s stall when they ducked out to go to the bathroom or something. He wanted Lance to come over and help him. Once again in his many weeks he felt completely useless.

Eventually the bake sale wrapped up around 3 in the afternoon. Lance went about collecting the money and Keith helped by taking the stalls apart. Most of it was just folding tables so it was pretty easy.

Once he was done and most people left, Keith went into the back office to see Lance crouched behind his desk. “... What are you doing?” He asked.

Lance quickly looked up, looking kind of surprised. “Keith! I was just putting the money away in a safe so I can take it to the bank tomorrow. I think we have enough for a new roof and some left over for new bibles or if we need to replace some folding chairs.”

Keith smiled a little. “That’s nice. I’m glad this worked out.”

“Me too… Oh, did you go out and buy anything from the stalls?”

“... No? Was I meant to?” Asked Keith. He was a little confused.

Lance seemed a little surprised. “Keith, you were allowed to buy stuff…” He lifted up a cooler and opened it up, taking out a cupcake with a strawberry on it. “I bought some stuff I thought the two of us might like to eat together. So here. Thanks for helping out today.”

Now Keith was surprised. He took the cupcake and smiled at him. “Thank you. What kind of cupcake is it?”

“Red velvet strawberry cupcake.” Said Lance. “Hunk had someone cancel an order so he donated them. Go ahead. Eat it.”

Keith smiled and took a bite. He hadn’t had red velvet anything before, but he really, really liked it. He happily ate it while Lance finished up in the office.

When he was done cleaning, he smiled at Keith. “So want to get dinner tonight? I don’t feel like cooking.”

“I can cook.”

“Burning everything black isn’t cooking.”

“... I am trying.”

Lance smiled and patted his shoulder. “How about this, we go home, put these cakes away, and go to the pub… I know you shouldn’t be around alcohol, but if we take a seat far away from the bar and just order some food it should be okay… It’s either that or the fish and chip place, and I don’t really feel like eating fish and chips…”

“We can go wherever you want.” Said Keith. “I don’t mind.”

***

So later that evening the two of them were in the pub. A lot of people seemed to be in high spirits this evening, which made Lance happy. He was pretty sure that everyone’s spirits might have been high because of the bake sale, but that might have been a little egotistical of him. Still he was happy.

Though Keith didn’t seem that happy to just be drinking a coke without any bourbon. He pulled a face and muttered something about it being too sweet. But apart from that, he seemed like he was happy. Keith was always happy when he ate with him. It made Lance wonder if Keith regularly ate dinner with someone, or if he was mostly eating alone.

Still, they happily ate dinner together. Keith looked so happy to eat every time he took a bite of his crumbed lamb cutlets. He looked so happy. It kind of melted his heart a little. Keith was kind of cute and it was very attractive… Lance had to clear his head of those thoughts.

“So um, how do you like the food here?” He asked 

Keith grinned. “Yeah, the food here is really good. I don’t eat much food so, I mean food like this. I don’t often eat food like this. It feels like you’re spoiling me.”

“I’m not trying to spoil you. I’m just treating you like a human.”

“... It’s nice.”

“I’d hope so.”

As they enjoyed their evening the pub door opened and a few weekend warriors walked in. They were clad in biker gear that looked a little too shiny and they didn’t have any distinctive patches. They were people that went out and went for a bike ride over the weekend. Like most groups of people they came in various degrees of tolerable. He saw Keith roll his eyes as he poked at his mashed potatoes.

“Not a fan?”

“Look, most of them are okay, but those guys? They look like douchebags.” Said Keith. “The kinds of assholes that will start some shit once they get a bit too fucking tipsy. Keep an eye on them.”

“Fair enough.” Lance continued to drink as he thought about what he was going to do for his next sermon. He had most of his notes finalized, but he still needed to go over them… But his notes were on his desk… At the church… “Dang it…”

“Hmm?”

“I left my sermon notes at the church…”

Keith shrugged. “Let’s just swing by there before we head home. No big deal.”

“True…”

“Yeah… Your drink is almost empty. Want me to get you a new one?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah, sure.” Said Lance. “Oh! Should you be going up to a bar?”

“Relax. I’m just going to get you a drink.” Keith got up and headed to the bar.

Lance sighed a little and went back to eating his food. Spending time with Keith was nice. Sure he worried him a lot, but Keith was really kind and sweet. He wanted Keith to be happy and being with him kind of made him happy. He loved seeing Keith’s eyes light up when they ate together, or when he learned to do domestic things like cleaning the house or cooking. He was so sweet and kind under all of that gruff and rugged exterior.

“Hey! Watch it asshole.” Snapped one of the weekend warriors.

“You’re the one that walked into me dick head.” Snapped Keith.

Lance quickly looked over at the bar to see one of the weekend warriors standing with some beer spilled on his shirt. He looked pissed and Keith looked indifferent. “Listen here you little shit.” Growled the man. “You bumped into me. You watch where you’re fucking going or I’ll break your fucking teeth in.”

Keith laughed at him. “What? You’ll break my teeth in? I’d like to see you try. You punk ass little bitch. I’ve taken shits more intimidating than you.”

Lance quickly got up and attempted to defuse the situation. “Hey, let’s all just calm down here… No need to get violent.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Growled the man. “This guys faggy boyfriend?” That earned a chuckle from the man’s friends. Everyone else in the bar paused in shock that someone would have the audacity to say that to Lance.

Keith growled back, like, legitimately growled at the man and loomed over him. “That fag, as you just called him is the town Pastor. You cunt. How dare you speak in such a disrespectful way to him. Get the fuck out.”

The tension was high in the bar, but the man doubled down on his douchebag behaviour. “You made we’re shit talking your boyfriend? Gonna cry about it? Well you got the long hair. You must be the girl in this relationship. Gonna get dicked down and-”

Keith snatched the beer out of the man’s hand. Without breaking eye contact, he poured the beer into the sink behind the bar. “You’re cut off. Get the fuck out.”

“Hey! You can’t do that!”

The bartender rolled their eyes. “They might not, but I can. You and your friends can get the fuck out of here before I call the cops.”

“Yeah, you better get the fuck out.” Growled Keith. He leaned in and whispered something into the man’s ear and the weekend warrior and his friends quickly left. After a few minutes everything calmed down and Keith tried to make sure that Lance was okay.

Lance was more worried about Keith. “Are you okay?” Asked Lance.

“Me? What about you? They called you some pretty horrible names.”

“Yeah, but you…”

Keith smiled a little at him. “It’s okay… Listen, I’ll meet you at the church. I need to go for a walk. Clear my head…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Lance didn’t like it, but he felt that he should just let Keith do what he wanted. He wasn’t sure how to handle Keith when he got frustrated like this. He ended up heading back to the church and looked over his sermon notes. He quickly became engrossed with his sermon and completely forgot about waiting for Keith. Making a sermon about loving thy neighbour was really engrossing.

That was until he heard the church doors open with some force. Lance jumped a little in surprise and looked out of his office door just in time to see someone slip into the confession booth. He quickly became uneasy.

“H-hello? Is someone there?” He asked.

When Lance didn’t get a response he cautiously approached the confessional. The booth was made of simple wood but carved in an ornate pattern, it looked rather foreboding and ominous. Lance had never really liked it, but he understood it was part of his religion. Steeling up his courage, Lance entered his side of the booth and took his seat.

“Hello?” Said Lance in a calm voice, trying to go into pastor mode. “Do you wish to confess my child?”

The person was quiet for a few moments before he coughed. “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”

It was Keith’s voice, but Keith sounded extremely tired. Lance gulped and tried to keep being professional. “It is okay my child… No matter what you’ve done the Lord will forgive you.”

Keith chuckled a little and pressed his head against the meshed partition that separated them. “Where to begin? I guess I should just start at the beginning?”


	179. Soap (Witch AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's laundry day! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Washing day sucked, but at least Lance seemed to like soap and was okay with helping Keith wash all his stuff. He would quickly scrub the clothes on the washboard and grin when he saw how soapy it was. 

“This is so cool!” Said Lance. He piled a lot of bubbles onto his hand and blew them off. “It’s like sea foam. But smells nice.”

“Yeah, I managed to extract some oil from some flowers to make the soap smell nicer.” Said Keith.

“I see.” Lance happily picked up the shirt he was scrubbing and happily hung it up on the washing line that Keith had set up earlier. They had spent most of the morning cleaning clothes. Lance didn’t seem to mind at all and was having a fantastic time washing Keith’s shirts and robes. There was no way Keith was going to let the selkie touch his pants or underwear. That just seemed weird to him.

So Keith just went about washing his own undergarments and pants. He felt better knowing that his clothes weren’t stiff with salt anymore. It would be nice to have clothes that were actually kind of soft and not stiff as a board. Once they were done doing the laundry, Keith needed to have a bath. 

He dragged out a larger tub that he used for his bedsheets and started to fill it with water. As he did so, Lance helped him fill it with water. “What are we washing now? That’s a really big tub.”

“Yeah… I’m going to have a bath. You can just swim around in the river while I’m cleaning myself.”

“Huh, okay?” Lance shrugged, pulled his seal skin on, and kind of rolled down the hill and into the water with a loud splash.

When Keith felt that Lance was far enough away, Keith quickly undressed and got into the tub. Once he was in the water his body naturally started to heat up the water until it was steaming. Keith then quickly went about rubbing his soap onto his body and hair. The slight floral smell was nice and it was subtle enough that it didn’t bother him too much.

He needed to make some more soap soon. He was almost out. The bar he was using was his last bar. Maybe he could ask Lance to head down to the butchers to get a few lumps of lard? That was probably the best thing to do. Then again he needed to start making more flower oil. He’d need a lot of flowers.

Once he was washed, dried, and got himself dressed, he walked down to the river. For some reason Lance was rolling around in the mud. Slapping his fins around in it, making mud fly all over the place.

“Are you having fun?” He asked.

Lance looked up and happily slapped his tail in the water. “Arrf! Arrf! Arrf!”

“Want to come with me into town? I need to get lard.”

Lance tilted his head and rolled into the water.

“... I’ll take that as a no.” Keith sighed and shook his head. “Well, I’ll be back in a bit.” Keith grabbed some money and headed to town. It was easy enough for him to buy some lumps of lard, along with some pork for dinner tonight. While he was there he went to see Kolivan.

The man looked like he was working on a breastplate. He nodded at the wicche as he hammered away. “Good afternoon Keith. It’s been a while since I last saw you.”

“Yeah. I got sent to Saltwall for a few days.” Said Keith as he leaned against a table. “So, what are you making?”

“A small shield for a fighter.” He said. “It’s a bit of a rush job since this person is a traveler, but it should be done by the end of today or early tomorrow.”

“Nice.”

“Yes. How was the ocean?”

“Big and wet.”

“Naturally.”

“Yeah.”

“Where is your familiar?”

“Lance is playing around in the river, so I just let him be.”

“And what are you doing in town?” Asked Kolivan. “Not just to visit me is it?”

Keith chuckled. “Yeah, wouldn’t that be the worst? Nah, I came to get some lard. Bought some pork belly for dinner too.”

“Nice. What is the lard for?”

“I’m making soap.” Said Keith. “Want a bar or two if I make too many?”

Koliven had a playful smirk on his face. “What? You think I need to use soap? Isn’t that kind of rude of you, Mr fir wicche?”

“Do you even remember what your natural skin colour is? You’re constantly covered in soot and grime.”

“Cheeky bastard. Yeah, I’ll take a bar if you have any spare.”

“Cool. Any spare knives?”

Kolivan pointed to a barrel. “Take what you like. I think there are some spoons in there.”

Keith nodded, paid for a few knives and a wonky looking spoon before heading back. When he got back, Lance was rolling down the hill and into the river. He seemed to be having fun, so Keith let him be so he went inside and went about making soap.

It was easy enough for him to find an appropriate cauldron and started the rendering process while he went about looking for the other ingredients. He managed to find a small bottle of lavender oil. It was perfect. He wouldn’t need too much for his soap.

***

Once Lance got tired of rolling down the hill, he cleaned himself and happily walked up to the house. When he got inside he saw Keith pouring something that smelled like cooked meat into a cauldron. He had no idea what he was doing. Probably magic stuff.

“What are you up to?” He asked.

“Making soap.” Said Keith.

“Oh? Can I watch?”

“Sure. Just sit there and don’t touch anything. Everything is either hot or dangerous. You can eat the bits of pork.”

Lance nodded and sat down to watch Keith work as he nibbled on pork bits. It was okay. He still preferred chicken. Keith poured lots of powders and oils into the cauldron and soon the whole house started to smell like soothing flowers. It was lovely.

“What is that?” Asked Lance. “It doesn’t just smell floral.”

“Yeah, it’s lavender.” Said Keith. “It’s a soothing kind of smell that makes people feel calm. It’s not really anything I use for my spells, but I use lavender oil for soaps and sometimes incense. It’s nice.”

“It smells really nice.”

“Yeah, but the oil is hard to make. Well, I find it hard.” Said Keith. “It’s a little annoying, but I do it when I feel like it.” He got a spoon and started mixing the stuff in the pot. Lance really liked what he was doing. Keith was so cool. 

Maybe he could make Keith feel better if he got him some flowers? There were lots of small white flowers in the grass around the house. Maybe he could pick a lot of those for Keith? He might like it… How did humans show that they liked each other anyway? The most logical thing he could think of was buying things for each other. But Lance didn’t actually have any money.

“... Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I have some spending money?”

Keith seemed a little surprised. “Why? You know I’ll buy you anything you need.”

“Well yeah, but what if I need it for an emergency?” Asked Lance. “Like… Um… What if I get super hungry and there are no fish or chicken around for me to eat? I’ll starve!”

“Oh no.” Said Keith sarcastically. “You’ll waste away to something.”

“Hey!”

Keith chuckled and tapped his spoon against the side of the cauldron. “Jokes aside, that is probably a good idea. I’ll find you a money pouch and put some coins in it soon.”

“Thanks.”

Eventually Keith went about pouring the soap into a mould and took it outside to set. When he was done, Lance helped Keith put things away. He wondered how he would bring up the subject of humans showing interest to each other. Keith went about making tea this time for the both of them Lance thought drinking warm flavoured water was a little odd, but he did like seafood soup.

Once they were all settled down, Lance decided to just be direct. “So, the weather is warming up.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… It’s around this time of year that my pod will start heading to our um… Breeding island.”

“Oh…” Keith frowned a little. “Do you want to go? Like, if it’s that time of the year for you, if you want to find a mate…”

“Oh no.” Said Lance quickly. “Still loving the bachelor life here. It just got me thinking.”

“What about?”

“Well… I’m guessing you don’t have a mate?”

Keith blushed a little. “Um, no… I don’t have a mate.”

“I see… Why?”

Keith shrugged. “Never that interested I guess? Or no one was interested in me…”

“Do you have courting gifts?” Asked Lance.

“What do selkies do?” Asked Keith.

Lance shrugged. “Well, we fight for territory, like a normal seal would, but we don’t usually fight for something like a harem. We fight for the best spot to be noticed, give shells and cool things to the people we are interested in… Sometimes fish.”

“Huh, similar to humans then.”

“Humans fight for the best beach spot?”

“... Not that. The giving things and sometimes giving food.” Explained Keith.

Lance nodded a little as he thought this over. Keith probably wouldn’t like shells, plus he didn’t want to give up his sea shells. Those were his. He would have to look around the village to see what kinds of things humans seemed to like. Maybe he could talk to Adam to see what he gave to Shiro to court him? That would be nice.

“Speaking of food…” Said the selkie. “There are lots of fish in the river lately… Would you like me to bring you some?”

“Oh? Um, sure. Might be nice to eat fish every once in a while.” Said Keith. “But tonight I’m cooking pork belly. Want to try some?”

“I love trying human food.” Said Lance in excitement. “Human food is so tasty!”

Keith chuckled. “Okay, but just so you know, pork has to be cooked thoroughly.”

“... Why?”

“Because pork has so many diseases and parasites in it.” Said Keith. “It needs to be cooked or you could get very sick. I hope you like crispy pork belly.”

“Hmmm, I’ll still try it!” Said Lance excitedly. Food that Keith cooked was always interesting. He didn’t always like it as much as Keith did, but he loved trying human food, and he was always thankful that Keith would think of him and give him food too. Besides, crispy pork belly sounded interesting. Maybe it would be like tuna belly? Tuna belly was so yummy and tasty.


	180. Cheat day (Modern fantasy AU XXV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a very, very silly chapter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was sweating up a storm in a singlet and booty shorts as he continued to shadow box as the instructional coach on TV shouted out words of encouragement. The typical things such as “You can do it!” and “Don’t give up now!” With sweat pouring down his face Keith finished up the routine. “You did it!”

Lance tossed Keith a towel from his seat. “Good job. You’ve been really working hard over the past few days.”

Keith shrugged and started to pat down his face. “Eh, you know me. Once I get stuck on something I just can’t help myself. I’ve just felt like pushing myself toda- Ow!” Keith flinched and started to rub his forearm.

Lance immediately got up and went over to him. “Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?”

Keith shook his head. “Nah, It’s okay. It’s not a problem. I haven’t missed a day of training yet. It’s just a bit of muscle soreness.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Yeah, I just need to stretch it out. I’ll be fine.” Keith started to do some arm stretches while Lance thought things over. Ever since Keith had lost spectacularly at the game’s night, he had been a little more focused at his exercise routine. Which wasn’t a bad thing, but he might have been pushing his body just that little bit too hard.

“Hey Keith, if you’re free tomorrow do you- Oh my god you’re flexible!”

Keith was laying flat on his stomach while his legs were spread wide, doing the splits. The elf just raised an eyebrow at him. “What? Weight has nothing to do with flexibility. It’s all ligaments and junk, right? I can do this too.” He stood on one leg and lifted high into the air. His knee was next to his face.

“... Holy shit…” Breathed Lance. “A-anyway. If you’re free tomorrow, do you want to go out with me? … Like as a friend! Friends going out and doing things together… As friends… Bros...

“Huh? Sure. I’ll tag along… if you give me french fries.”

“Not a chance.”

***

The next day the two of them left the house, Lance carrying a rather large backpack on his back. Keith had questioned it, but Lance told him not to worry about it. As they walked they headed past Allura’s plant shop.

She paused watering her plants and waved at them. “Hello you two. Going for a walk?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah, that’s right. Are you working today? You’re not wearing your apron.”

She chuckled a little as she held her watering can. “It is my day off. I just came by to water the plants. After this I was just going to head home.”

“Why don’t you come with us?” Asked Keith. “Is that okay, Lance.”

“Sure.” He said. “The more the merrier.”

“Really? Well let me just put this can away and we can head out.”

The trio ended up walking deep into the park. Lance took them into a deep secluded area by a stream with large willows and other tall trees. Wild flowers grew all over the place and the soft sounds of bird calls filled the air.

“Oh wow… I haven’t been to this part of the park before.” Said Keith.

“It’s a very beautiful place.” Said Allura. “Might I ask what we are doing here?” She saw Lance take a blanket out of his backpack. “Are we doing yoga?”

“Oh no, nothing like that.” Said Lance. “Take a seat.”

The two sat down and Lance took a box of sandwiches out of his backpack, along with a thermos of coffee and tea. “I hope you two are hungry. I made all different kinds; salad, chicken, ham and cheese, and avocado.”

“... So we aren’t dieting today?” Asked Keith.

“Nope. today is a cheat day.” Said Lance. “Cheat days aren’t just good for your metabolism. Accumulating too much fatigue will weaken your willpower and immune system, and you will burn out. It’s a serious roadblock to a successful diet. So let’s take a load off.” Lance sighed and lied back on the blanket, smiling. “We’re surrounded by greenery without a care in the world, so let’s take this moment to heal our minds and our bodies.”

“Well it’s a good thing I came along, then.” Said Allura with a smile as she pointed to the succulent on her head. “I’m quite green myself. Perhaps I can heal you? Just kidding. My magic only works on plants.”

“Can I try some of that tea?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah sure. I’ll pour you a cup.” Lance poured them all some tea, but made sure to keep the coffee away from Allura. He did not need a repeat of what happened last time.

They happily sat around and made small talk. Everyone seemed so happy and relaxed. It made Lance smile. It seemed like everyone needed a day to relax. Keith seemed a lot more relaxed as he laid down on the blanket next to Lance. Allura laid down on Lance’s other side.

“This place is lovely.” She said.

“Yeah, this is my favourite spot.” Said Lance.

“Kind of reminds me of my home town in the forest.” Said Keith. “This place is great. I’m glad we came.”

Suddenly, Lance felt a weight on his legs. He looked down and saw Pidge in her dog form. “Oh, hey Pidge. How long have you been there?”

“I smelled something nice and came over.” She said.

“Oh the sandwiches?” Lance sat up and handed one to her. “Want a chicken one?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” She happily took one and ate it.

“What are you doing all the way out here?” Asked Lance.

“My territory is huge.” Said Pidge. “I gotta patrol the whole area. I’ve been doing it a lot more these days since I’ve started to drop some pounds.” She happily patted her belly a few times and grinned.

Allura hummed a little as she looked at the lycanthrope. “Hey Pidge? What do you do to relax? I mean, Lycanthropes are pack animals, so you must do something to relax?”

Pidge thought for a moment as she ate another sandwich. “Hmm… Napping together usually helps… Napping in a big pile. Big dog pile.” She looked between the three and decided to rest her head against Lance’s lap. “I will nap here.”

“Why do dogs always shove their face into people’s crotches?” Asked Keith.

“Wh-what?” Squeaked Lance. “Pidge hasn’t shoved her face in my crotch!”

“Close enough.”

“Are you feeling better Pidge?” Asked Allura?”

“Yeah.” Said Pidge. “I’m feeling way more relaxed now.”

“Then maybe I should go next?”

“Next for what?!” Asked Lance.

Keith chuckled. “A flower on your crotch? That really suits you Lance.”

“What are you trying to say Keith?” Asked Lance. “Can’t we just relax normally?” He instantly regretted saying that. Alura and Keith ended up on either side of Lance, crushing him slightly as all three otherworldly creatures napped The only one not napping was Lance. Pidge was drooling in her sleep getting his thigh all wet with dog drool, if he moved his hands too close to Keith’s face he’d bite them in his sleep, probably thinking they were french fries, and Allura’s hair had a mind of its own, wrapping around his other arm and squeezing tightly.

After what seemed like forever everyone got up feeling a lot more refreshed. “Man, I slept like a baby.” Said Keith. 

“Same.” Said Pidge.

“That was very refreshing.” Said Allura.

Keith looked over at Lance. The poor man looked dead tired. “Um, are you okay? Did you not sleep?”

“Don’t worry about me…”

“Come on Lance. Sleep is very important.” Said Keith.

“I know… I told you that…”

Keith sighed and stood up, dusting himself off. “Well, I’m so pumped up right now. Let’s go home and cook up some fries.”

“I didn’t know you knew how to cook.” Said Allura.

“Lance is teaching me.” Said Keith. “You wanna come over and eat fries with me?”

“For sure.”

“Can I come too?” Asked Pidge.

“Heck yeah.”

“... You know that’s my house you’re inviting everyone to.” Muttered Lance.


	181. Weekend (Highschool AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little insight into Lance's family life, and Keith just being a sleepy boy forced to go shopping with Adam. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Weekends were… interesting at the McClain house. It was always packed with people, siblings, cousins. Sometimes it felt like no one would notice if he wasn’t there. In fact, most weekends they didn’t. The McClain family was huge and unless he was sick, no one really noticed if someone was missing. He felt like a ghost in the house as his mama’s attention was more on the younger cousins. His papa was working weekends

So he just said goodbye to mama, unsure if she had heard him, and left the house. He headed out and wondered if he should go to Pidge’s place of Hunks. Knowing idge, they would be working on some crazy extra credit thing for the robotics club. If Hunk wasn’t helping her out then he would probably be with Shay, his girlfriend, or baking. He really didn’t want to bother either of them just because he felt lonely, so he just went for a walk.

He decided to just hang out at the mall for a bit. There were a few shops that he liked, and a few streets away there was a strip mall… and at the end of the strip mall was a sex shop. A place he couldn’t even enter until the later half of the year when he finally turned 18. He really wanted to see what was in there. Well, he already had a good idea, but there was still that mystery about it.

He sighed a little and tried to clear his head of those thoughts. Lance needed to think of something else. He needed some things. Art supplies. Nothing crazy. He just needed to get some more pencils. Lance always enjoyed doing a bit of sketching. It cleared his head most days. Plus he kind of liked going to the art shop. It was always cool to see what was in there.

Once he had bought himself his pencils, Lance checked his watch. It was hardly the afternoon. He sighed heavily and leaned against a railing. He watched the people walking around doing their Saturday shopping.

Lance sighed heavily as his eyes aimlessly wandered until they fell on some gentleman’s clothing store. He would have just kept looking around if he hadn’t spotted a familiar mullet haired individual standing out the front. It was Keith. Lance was shocked. Keith was out in the wild? A wild Keith had appeared? What was he doing here? And at that store no less.

Seconds later a darker skinned looking older man walked out carrying a bag. The man handed the bag to Keith and patted him on the shoulder. Lance was kind of confused and didn’t really know what to think. They didn’t look related. Maybe they were distant relatives? Friends? Coworkers? Did Keith even have a job?

Why did Lance even care? Keith didn’t even know who he was. It wasn’t like they were friends or anything. He sighed and pouted a little. He might feel better if he got himself a milkshake. Milkshakes always made him feel better when he was feeling down, like he was now.

***

Keith was not happy with Adam. Keith had a day off of work and he needed to finish assignments. Instead, Adam managed to drag him out to the shops so he could get him a semi-formal jacket. Keith didn’t understand why he needed one, even though Adam had explained it to him on the way there, but Keith wasn’t listening.

“Keith, pay attention.” Said Adam.

“What?”

“I asked if you need new shoes too.”

“Why are we doing this again?”

“Because we are taking Shiro out to dinner next weekend and this is the only damn day I can make sure you are appropriately dressed.” Said Adam. “Honestly, I would have just bought you something if you actually had a jacket that fitted you.”

Keith shrugged and looked down at his shoes. Did he need new shoes? He could just shine his school shoes. They were black. That was school uniforms for you. “I think my shoes are fine?”

“Hmm, fine. Do you need anything else while we are here?” Asked Adam. “The weather is warming up. You usually have swimming for gym when the weather heats up, right? Need a new speedo or goggles?”

Keith’s brain blanked for a moment. “Um… I’ll need to have a look?” He was pretty sure he had a pair in his underwear drawer. He didn’t really like swimming that much anyway. Sure, he knew how to swim, but he really didn’t just go to the pool for fun.

“We can get you a pair just in case.” Said Adam. “Knowing you, you’ll forget and I’ll have to write you a note excusing you from swimming again.”

“It was only once and I had bronchitis.” Grumbled Keith.

“Details.”

“Anyway, is this all? Getting a formal jacket?”

“Well I need more pants for work, and then we can go home.” Said Adam. “But I want to go to the bakery to get Shiro something nice.”

“Yeah, how is that going?” Keith hadn’t really had much time with Shiro. Sure they did eat dinner together, but Keith was either at school, work, or locked in his room trying to do all his school work. Then sleeping. He felt guilty about it, but it was kind of the routine that he and Adam had fallen into after about a month of the two of them living together.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Adam. Adam was fun in a sassy kind of way. He just had to stay late at work some days. Adam was an accountant for a law firm and would often spend long hours at work. They would talk to each other in the morning when Adam would go to work and Keith would go to school, but evenings were kind of 50/50. Not that Keith minded. He still kind of liked their dynamic.

“Shiro still tosses and turns at night.” Said Adam sadly. “He wakes up, tosses and turns a little, sometimes grabs me if he’s really freaking out and having a night terror… I have him lined up to see a counselor for vets with PTSD next week.” 

“That’s good.”

“Yes, I only have two more weeks of leave before I have to go back to work. It should be enough time for Shiro to get somewhat settled.”

“Yeah, what was he doing when we left?”

“Watching animal documentaries on his laptop with headphones in.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah, we’re going to get him fitted for a prosthetic on Monday. Hopefully by next week it will be ready for him.”

“Yeah, hopefully… Can I get some bubble tea?”

“Yeah sure.” He gave Keith his card. “Get yourself something nice and meet me at the Myers.”

“Okay. You want something?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Okay. Cool. See you at that pants shop then?”

Adam rolled his eyes at Keith calling it a pants shop, considering it was way, way more than just pants, but he let it slide and walked there. Keith just shrugged and got himself a bubble tea. Bubble tea was good. Though he had to get it without the toppings. It was kind of a choking hazard for him. 

He looked down at the bag he was carrying and sighed a little. If Keith was honest he didn’t really want to go anywhere fancy for dinner. He would probably fall asleep at the table and ruin the whole thing. Keith always felt extremely guilty when that happened. He’d try and do his best to stay awake, but he knew he wouldn’t. He always felt guilty when his insomnia hit him hard and he fell asleep. Hell, he once fell asleep on a rollercoaster. He didn’t want Shiro and Adam to worry about him.

Keith went into the store that Adam was in and gave him back his card. “Found your pants yet?”

“Yes, and now we can buy this, get something from the bakery, and go home.”

“Eh, I don’t wanna.” Whined Keith for the sake of whining.

Adam rolled his eyes and ruffled Keith’s hair. “Cheeky brat.”

Keith grinned at him and sipped his tea as Adam paid for his pants. As they headed to the bakery Keith stumbled a little and Adam ended up putting his arm around his shoulders to steady him.

“You okay there kiddo? Want to go back to the car and take a power nap?” Adam asked Keith.

He shook his head. “No. I want to see if they have that strawberry shortcake that I like.”

“Hmm, fine. But I’m going to embarrass you the whole time.”

“... This means you’re not going to let me go, are you?”

“Damn straight. To the bakery.”

***

Lance had spent most of his day walking around the mall before he headed back home. He still wondered what Keith was doing and who he was with. But that wasn’t really any of his business… But the person he was with looked pretty well dressed and he did happen to see the older man wrap his arm around Keith’s shoulders. He wasn’t sure what they were, but they were very very close.

Maybe they were boyfriends? That thought made him laugh a little, but then again, it wasn’t like that was impossible. He knew that older people preyed on highschool kids all the time so while that might have been true. Or like, one of Keith’s alleged hookups that he had heard about.

There were a lot of rumours floating about Keith. He was a delinquent, had a rap sheet a mile long, beat up other punks, smoked, fucked everyone he thought was hot, and apparently he had a boyfriend. An older boyfriend. Keith must have liked mature people. He didn’t know how he felt about that. Maybe a little jealous? Keith didn’t even know who he was.

When he got home he almost got knocked over by some of his cousins that were running past him. “Hey, watch it!” He said as he made his way up to his room. Thankfully no one had gone inside and messed anything up this time. There had been many times when his cousins had come into his room and messed up his stuff.

He got into his room, closed the door and fell back onto his bed. His mind was just filled with questions, but it wasn’t really like he had much of a right to ask Keith any questions. He could just imagine what Keith would do if Lance confronted him with that information...

***

Lance would confront him somewhere quiet, like that stairwell that no one used on the west side of the science building. Keith would be grumpy, but over all indifferent to Lance cornering him. He’d have that distant, apathetic look in his eyes.

“So… You have an older boyfriend.” Lance would say.

Keith would yawn, indifferent to it all. “And?”

“W-well you just… You shouldn’t be doing that.”

“What? You gonna rat on me?” Keith would sneer.

“Well he… He’s older than you and-”

Before he could finish, Keith would punch him hard in the guts. He’d then push Lance onto his knees and force him towards the wall. He’d kick him in the chest and then knee him in the face, knocking his head back against the wall. While Lance was dizzy he’d feel Keith grab his hair and pull him to his knees.

Lance would try and say something, but before he could, Keith would shove his cock down his throat. “If you fucking bite I’ll throw you down the stairs and stomp on your skull.”

Choking, unable to breathe, and incredibly turned on by the sadistic glint in Keith’s eyes, Lance wouldn’t hesitate to work his cock. He’d moan and choke when he felt Keith’s cock force past his gag reflex. He’d thrust hard, making him hit his head against the wall repeatedly. Then he’d pull back and finish on his face.

“Smile for the camera, slut.” Keith would purr. It would be then that Lance would notice the camera in his hand. “Nice money shot. Now, if you even breathe a word about what you saw I’m gonna make sure everyone, and I fucking mean everyone, sees Lance McClan sucking cock. I’m sure your oh so very Christian family will love and accept you for being a cock whore. Now clean yourself up, whore.”

***

“Lance!” Called his mama as she walked into his room.

Lance immediately jumped up and quickly moved his legs to try and hide his semi erection that was happily starting to grow at the thought of Keith fucking his throat. “Mama! Knock next time!”

She sighed dramatically. “Sorry, sorry. I’ll knock next time. You’ve been cooped up in your bedroom all day. Enough time for you to finish your study or homework for today. Come and take some of your cousins out for ice cream. I’ll give you some money.”

“... Okay mama… I’ll just go to the bathroom first.”

“Good.” She smiled and happily left his room.

Lance sighed and laid back on his bed again. He felt a sinking feeling in his chest. His mama didn’t even notice he had been out for almost the whole day. That thought alone killed his boner. He still went to the bathroom anyway before he got the ice cream money from his mama and took his cousins down to the corner store. 

His mama had given him enough money to get ice cream for everyone… except for him. There were only a few cents left over. Not even enough for a pack of gum. But that was fine. He didn’t say he wanted ice cream too. He couldn’t be upset that his mama didn’t think of him. Heck, she didn’t even notice that he was gone in the first place. Well, at least his cousins were happy… Even if he felt a little pushed to the side and forgotten about most of the time.


	182. Hostile (X-men AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention! I might not be able to post a new chapter tomorrow. I'm going out and doing stuff. So probably no new chapter tomorrow. Sorry guys. Kudos and comment when you can enjoy :D

Keith sat in the lounge room with his tail hanging over the edge of the couch. Ginger was having fun lightly smacking the end of it with her paws. It made him smile a little and Rachel though it was adorable. She cooed and took a few videos of it along with some photos. It was very cute. Keith liked it too. 

“So Keith…” Began Rachel. “You have any pets?”

“We don’t have pets at the school.” Said Keith. “But animals like me well enough… I wouldn’t mind having a cat.”

“Ginger really likes you.”

“She does. She’s a good girl.”

“Yep.”

Lance’s mama walked in from the kitchen. “Keith, are you allergic to shellfish?”

“No Mrs McClain.” Said Keith. “I can eat shellfish.”

“Good. Good… Is coconut cream okay?”

“It is. Thank you.”

The woman smiled and walked back into the kitchen, humming a happy tune. It made Keith smile a little. He had been in a few homes that had happy families… But if he was honest he usually fucked everything up. He was angry and too used to people just rejecting him because of what he was. So he’d misbehave and ruin the harmony in those wonderful houses… Then he’d get moved somewhere worse and he’d hate the world even worse.

Ginger eventually got tired of trying to catch Keith’s tail and decided to lord it up in her cat tree. She seemed content with staring at them and licking her paws. Like a normal cat. It made Keith smile a little. He kind of wished that he was a cat.

The front door suddenly opened and Lance walked in with his papa. The two had gone grocery shopping earlier. Keith tensed up as the older man walked by. He waited until the man had passed before Keith quickly retreated to Lance’s room. He knew that the older man wasn’t a bad person, but Keith just didn’t feel safe around him. The only times he was in the same room as the man was due to dinner. Where Mrs McClain seemed to be making blander foods. Or at least made some blander options for him.

As he hid in Lance’s room he checked his phone to see if Shiro or Adam had texted him to check up on him. He had a few photos from their little vacation. Keith wasn’t sure where they went, but they seemed to have gone somewhere warm since those two were at the beach. 

One of the pictures had Shiro with a big black bird sitting on his prosthetic arm. He was grinning and the bird had its wings spread out. Keith had half a mind to ask him if that bird was his illegitimate child or something. He thought for a moment, and decided to call him.

 _“Hey Keith. How are you?”_ Asked Shiro.

“I’m doing good. Where are you and Adam anyway?”

_“We’re in Australia. Did you get the photo of me and the black cockatoo?”_

Keith chuckled a little. “Yeah. Is that your child or something?”

_“Ha, ha. Very funny. How are things at the McClain house? Having a good time? Is everyone getting along well?”_

“Well…” Keith sighed. “Everyone here is pretty nice. Lance’s dad is a little passive aggressive… Asking if everyone at the school is like me…”

_“Oh Keith…”_

“I know, but Lance’s family stood up for me. So that was nice. Oh, they have a M.Y.R.C here and it’s pretty good.”

Shiro made a surprised noise. _“I thought you hated the M.Y.R.C?”_

“I do, but they have apparently changed.” Said Keith. “The one by Lance’s house is run my a mutant called Kolivan. He’s some kind of tiger mutant.”

 _“Wait… Is Kolivan purple? Kind of fuzzy? Long braid?_ Asked Shiro.

“Yeah? Why?”

_“I worked with Kolivan before. He’s a good man. So are the other people he was with. Have you met Krolia yet? She’s quite an interesting woman.”_

“Um… I don’t think so?” Keith thought for a moment. He was pretty sure the only woman that he had met that worked there was Ilun, and she was some kind of bore mutant. He didn’t even know what kind of mutant that Krolia was. “Is she purple too?”

_“Yes. She’s a shapeshifter. Hey, maybe she’s already seen you?”_

“Maybe… Am I interrupting anything?”

_“Hmm, not really. Adam and I are just trying to decide if we’re going to go snorkeling or just hang out in the pool.”_

“Oh, okay. I’ll leave you guys to it then.”

_“Okay. Keith?”_

“Yeah?”

_“Feel free to call me any time for any reason. Even if you just want to hear how my day was, you can just do that. I don’t mind.”_

“Thank’s Shiro. Have fun swimming. Don’t get your feather’s too wet.”

_“I won’t. You have fun too. Say hi to Kolivan for me.”_

“I will. Bye.”

Keith hung up and looked through his photos. He didn’t have too many photos. Probably less than twenty. The first five were blurry ones that he took of himself by accident. He wanted to delete them, but he also wanted to keep them. It was his first phone and it was special to him. Apart from the blurred picture he has a few pictures of random things around the school he liked and some of Shiro and Adam.

“Knock, knock Keith.” Said Lance as he walked into his room. He sat next to Keith and gave him a soft smile. “Are you okay? Do you still not like my dad?”

“It’s not that I don’t like him…” Muttered Keith. “I just… He makes me as uncomfortable as I make him. I don’t want to cause trouble for you guys. I’m causing enough trouble just by being here.”

“Keith you’re not-”

“There was a shouting match because of me.” Said Keith sadly. “I don’t… I just don’t want to upset your family dynamic anymore than I already have.”

“Keith… You aren’t any trouble. We all really like you.”

“Yeah… I know… Do you think that anyone will need to use the bathroom soon?”

“No, why?”

“I want to take a bath and it can take a long time for me to get clean…”

“Well, people will have to just use the toilet under the stairs until you’re done.” Said Lance. He smiled at him and gently nudged Keith’s shoulder. “Come on. Move it. You might be able to get out before dinner if you go now.”

Keith smiled a little and grabbed his backpack. “Okay. I’ll be out in a bit.”

***

Once Keith was out of the room, Lance let out a long sigh. He really needed to talk to his dad about Keith. Lance wasn’t the only one who noticed that Keith would quickly excuse himself from the room or was the first to leave the dinner table when his father was there. They really, really got off on the wrong foot. He had kind of been avoiding talking to him about it because mutants seemed to make him uncomfortable. But he needed to talk to him about this.

Lance took a deep breath and headed down to the lounge room where his old man was sitting in his chair, watching TV. “He papa? Can we talk for a second? It’s about something… Private…”

The older McClain looked a little confused but shrugged and turned off the TV. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

“It’s… It’s about Keith.”

“What happened?” Asked his papa. “Did he do something to you?”

“What? No. Why would you think that?”

“Well he isn’t exactly nor-”

“Don’t you dare say normal. Keith is normal.”

His papa sighed and gave Lance an exasperated look. “Lance, I know you quite like the boy, but he isn’t normal. He’s a cat. You’re not like him.”

“... No one is like him papa, and that’s a good thing.” Said Lance. “... Keith just has trouble trusting people, and who can blame him? After all the things he has been through… Don’t you think it’s weird that Keith is avoiding you? He knows you don’t like him and he’s worried that he’s going to upset the family… You’re hostile to him.”

“I’m not being hostile to him.”

“Yeah you are.” Said Lance. “Papa… Being a mutant isn’t bad. We’re still-”

“Don’t.” Snapped his papa. “Just… Don’t call yourself that. You’re not a mutant.”

“But I am a mutant. Papa, I am… I can’t change that… I’m different and that’s okay.” Said Lance quietly. “You don’t have to like it, you just have to accept it… Being a mutant doesn’t make me a freak. Everyone else can accept that mutants are a thing and are okay with that. Why can’t you?”

“There is nothing to accept.” Snapped his papa. “You aren’t a freak like him!”

“His name is Keith!” Snapped Lance. He groaned in annoyance and stood up. “Fine. This is getting nowhere. He stormed into the kitchen. “Hey mama?”

“Yes Lance?” She sounded exhausted. She clearly heard what Lance and her husband were talking about. “Do you want to eat dinner with Keith in your room?”

“Yeah. That would be best…” Muttered Lance.

“... Oh honey…” His mama quickly embraced him in a hug. “I’ll talk to him again later… He just doesn’t understand.”

“Mama, there is a really thin line between not understanding and refusing to understand… I think Papa just hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you.” She said quickly. “He just doesn’t understand mu-”

“Mutants. Yeah, I know. But I am a mutant.” Said Lance. “If he doesn’t want to understand mutants or hates mutants then he doesn’t understand or hates me… I’ll be in my room.” 

He walked back to his room and laid on his bed. He didn’t understand why his papa hated mutants so much and was so hell bent on saying he wasn’t a mutant. He was a mutant. He hoped that Keith didn’t hear anything with his superior hearing. He still didn’t know how that worked. Keith already didn’t feel welcome because of his papa.


	183. Mysterious stranger (Monsters and Manna AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama in the game! Da da daaaaaaa. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

In the Womblax city, Meklavar discovered a lead to finding her family's lost gemstone. It was quite a large emerald, so it was probably taken by a troll into the underdark. A place filled with monsters and horrors. Everyone was excited to go, except Block. Block was never a big fan of too much danger.

“Do we really have to go to the underdark?” Asked Block. “The underdark is kind of… awful? It’s full of dark and evil things and like, dark flesh monsters? Have you heard of these things called flesh kites? They sound horrible.”

“Do we even know how to get to the underdark?” Asked Valayun. “You can’t just suddenly stumble into it… We would need to head down… Really far down.”

“There’s a lot of dark magic down there…” Muttered Shiro.

Pike grinned and nudged Block. “Hey, think about it this way, your village was cursed to stone right? That’s some pretty twisted dark magic stuff. You night be able to find a way to undo the spell down there.”

“... Maybe.”

Shiro cleared his throat. “Okay, I think we know what is going on. We are going to have to find a way into the underdark. Anyone have any idea who can help us?”

Pike shrugged and lightly hip checked Thundar. “You know anyone babe?”

“Why would I know anyone in this city?”

“Fair enough.”

“I guess we will just have to find someone.” Said Valayun. “Where would we find such a person?”

“Somewhere shady?” Suggested Meklavar. “A bar? Some kind of black market. There has to be something… I need to restore my family’s honor!”

“How did you lose a giant emerald anyway?” Asked Pike.

“My brother is shit at poker.”

“Ah…”

Valayun looked shocked. “Your brother gambled away your family heirloom?”

“He is not a very bright man.”

“Well, let’s split up and look for someone that can take us to the underdark.” Said Shiro. Block, Pike, you two go to the markets. Meklavar, Valayun, you two head to the Soot Foot tavern. Thundar and I will head to the markets.”

The group agreed and quickly split up. Thundar and Shiro went to the markets and slowly made their way into the more illegal side of the markets. As they looked around, Shiro decided to start up a conversation with Thundar. They had bonded over hunting and fighting, but they didn’t have much of a heart to heart talk. Now was the perfect time.

“So… Mind if I ask what you were doing before you fell into that hot spring?” Asked Shiro.

Thandar shrugged. “I was heading to town to get some medical supplies.”

“Well yeah, I know that. I meant what were you doing out in the forest.”

“Oh that… Well, as you can see I’m only a half elf. My other half is human and well… I kind of outlived my father…”

“That’s rough… What about your mother?”

“I have no idea where she is.” Said Thundar. “She just up and left… My father always spoke highly of her. Like she was a good person… I don’t really know much about her. All I have is a talisman, but I have no idea what it means. I haven’t come across anyone that can tell me what it means.” Thundar took a talisman out of his pocket. It was round and had a strange looking S printed on it. “I thought it might have been a family coat of arms, but no one knows of it. So she might…”

Shiro put his hand on Thundar’s shoulder. “It’s okay… We might not be able to find your mother, but we’ll try and figure out what that talisman means. Maybe you should ask the others about it? Maybe one of them would know something? Valayun seems pretty well traveled.”

“Yeah… I might ask her… What about you?” Asked Thundar. “Why did you join up with this lot? What do you get out of it?”

“Well, Block and Meklavar have noble goals. They needed help, and as a Paladin I wanted to help see their quest through to the end. I have a sense of duty to try and right the wrongs that have happened.”

“So you just want to help people?” He asked.

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. Helping people makes me feel good.”

“So you’re selfish.”

“What? No?” Now Shiro was confused.

“You only help people because you want to feel good about yourself. That’s pretty selfish behaviour. Wouldn’t have expected that from a Paladin.”

***

“Really Keith?” Asked Shiro. “We were having a bonding moment and developing a backstory.”

Keith shrugged as he leaned back in his chair and looked over his datapad. “What can I say? My character likes you, but doesn’t really care for your religion. He’s gonna poke holes in it.”

“I am swooning.” Cooed Lance.

Pidge rolled her eyes and flicked a small screw she happened to have in her pocket at Lance from across the table. “No more horny at the table. It disturbs me. You have some fucked up kinks there Lance.”

“I don’t. Pike does.” Clarified Lance.

“You’re both degenerate freaks.”

Lance pouted and sunk into his seat. “Don’t kink shame Pike. He’ll get offended.”

“Kink shaming is Meklavar’s kink.”

“Ah, so Meklavar is into humiliation?” Questioned Coran. “Let me just make a note of that in case Meklavar gets into such a situation or romance where this might come up…”

“I was joking!” Said Pidge quickly. “It was just a joke! Let’s just get back to that bonding moment between Shiro and Thundar.”

“I thought it was quite cute.” Said Hunk. 

Allura nodded in agreement. “The RP elements of monsters and manna are probably my favourite parts.”

Coran cracked his knuckles and gestured back to the board. “Alright everyone, back to the game.” He cleared his throat. “Thundar, with your keen hunting senses you feel a pair of eyes on you and a presence following you two. Roll for perception.”

Keith rolled his dice and quickly added his perception bonus. “... 16?”

“Perfect.”

***

Out of the corner of Thundar’s eye he noticed someone in a hooded cloak following them. He frowned a little and lightly bumped his arm against Shiro’s. “I think there is someone following us…”

“Do you think they mean to cause us harm?”

“Probably.”

“Are they womblax?”

“Possibly. They are too far away to tell, but they are the height of an average womblax.”

“... Follow me.” Shiro quickly lead Thundar down an alleyway. 

The figure quickly followed them, but were a little surprised that they were gone. They carefully stepped forward with some caution. Suddenly, Shiro jumped out of their hiding place and shield bashed them into a wall. Thundar shot an arrow at them, pinning their cloak to the wall before he quickly moved to them. He already had another arrow ready to shoot them in the face.

“Alright, who are you?” Asked Shiro.

The man put his hands up in surrender. The man had pale lavender skin with even paler markings on his face. This man was a drow. Generally considered the more wicked and evil of the elf races. The kind that reveled in the chaos that they caused. The kind that lived in the underdark.

“Please, lower your weapon.” They said. “I saw that young man’s talisman and was curious as to how he came about it… It’s not something you see much of on the surface. It’s more of… an underdark kind of thing.”

Thundar was surprised. “You know what it is?” If it really was from the underdark then it would explain why he couldn’t find any information on it. Only the very bare minimum was known about the underdark, and that was mostly from adventurers or settlements that lived as close to those disturbing places as they dared to. “What do you know about it?”

“That talisman bears the seal of a rather prominent family in the underdark.” They said. “It’s not something that would just make its way up here for no reason, nor would it leave the family without reason. More than likely taken from the cold, dead hand of the poor drow that held it in the first place.”

“I didn’t steal it.” Snapped Thundar. “It was given to me… By my father… He wore it every day of his life before he gave it to me and passed away…”

“And what are you?” They asked. “You look human. Did your human father kill one of the family in some grand adventure?”

Thundar glared at them. “I’m half elf you shit! And my mother gave it to my father!”

“If you say so.” Said the man calmly. “I will be keeping an eye on you from now on, young half elf.” They dropped a smoke bomb and vanished.

***

Coran was about to dive into deeper detail when the alarm suddenly went off. Allura quickly got to her feet. “We’re under attack! Paladin’s to your lions!”

Everyone quickly abandoned the game and ran to the hanger. “Oh man…” Whined Pidge. “Just when things were getting interesting too!”


	184. Acolyte (Hellpoint AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The team should have listened to the lions. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The group had made it to the hanger, but were immediately greeted with a big problem. Every single lion had their particle shield up. None of them seemed to want them in. Everyone was confused and went to their lions to try and see if they could get their lion to drop their shield.

“Blue!” Whined Lance. “Babe! Sweetheart! Love of my life! What did I do? I know I didn’t buff your paws yesterday, but you know I’m good for it!”

“Hey buddy…” Said Hunk. “Is something wrong, Yellow? Can you let me in and tell me what’s going on?”

Pidge pouted and looked up at their lion. “Green? The fuck my dude?”

“Come on Red.” Said Keith. “We don’t have time for this. We have a rescue mission to go on.”

“Black… Why don’t you want us to go on this mission?” Asked Shiro.

As the Paladin’s talked to their lions, Allura stood back as she felt the skin on her neck start to crawl. The Paladin’s didn’t have the same sensitivity to quintessence as she did, and what she felt gave her an unsettling feeling. The lions were afraid, and that made Allura afraid. What could scare Voltron? What was on that space station? While this was unsettling they still needed to answer that distress call.

“We’ll take two of the shuttles instead.” She said calmly, though she was a little warry. “Shiro, Hunk, Keith, you take one shuttle. Pidge, Lance, and I will take the other.” The paladins seemed a little unsure about not taking their lions, but they all knew that time was of the essence and they had to move now.

They got to the shuttles and quickly set out to the station. It took a few ticks to figure out where the port was on the station, and the turbulence from the blackhole’s gravitational field did make it a little tricky. But the two shuttles made it into the station’s port and safely managed to dock. As ports go, this one was relatively nice looking, if not a little dark. Sleek grey metal lined the walls, floor, and ceiling. Lighting the room was a dull blue light. Very similar to the castleship. It seemed pretty standard with no real flairs that would indicate the species that made the station.

Everyone got out of the shuttles and Pidge started scanning the area. “... Okay, the air here is breathable. Can’t pick up any toxins in the air. We should be fine not wearing our helmets.”

Considering everything that might have been going on, this was actually kind of good. There were a lot of crates around the place and a few small ships, similar to their shuttle, covered in dust.

“Looks like Galra ships to me.” Said Keith.

“Agreed.” Said Shiro. “I think we can safely assume that the Galra might be responsible for this… Keep your wits about you. Stay on guard team.”

“I don’t know.” Muttered Hunk as he happened to pass by a blue disc on the floor. “Those ships look kind of dusty. It doesn’t look like-” The blue disk suddenly lit up causing Hunk to yelp in shock and everyone was on guard.

The disc suddenly manifested a hologram on a young, cute, humanoid looking girl with big, sparkly eyes and quirky hair. She kind of looked like she was dressed in Harajuku fashion. Though she definitely had markings on her cheeks, forehead, and chin.

 _“Welcome, to the Acolyte.”_ Said the hologram in an all too chipper and sweet voice. _“Home of the Altaxon’s. We are very happy to greet life forms from beyond the stars. I am the space station artificial intelligence; Mimi. Please state your reason for your visitation.”_

“We don’t have time for this.” Muttered Keith. “Just ignore it. It-”

 _“You have selected; ignore reasonable request.”_ Mimi. _“I must ask you to please reconsider your very rude choice of words. If not, you will be jettisoned into space outside of the protective gravitational field that stops this space station from being sucked into the blackhole.”_ A warning siren started to play as every door in the docking back quickly slammed shut and locked.

“Rescue!” Said Allura quickly. “Rescue mission!”

Immediately the sirens stopped and the doors unlocked. _“Rescue mission has been accepted. Please stand in front of the checkpoint station to receive your ID tags. Failure to comply will result in immediate removal from the Acolyte space station into the blackhole.”_

“You want to argue with the A.I again?” Lance asked Keith. Keith shot him a dirty look.

Allura sighed and just complied with the hologram and did what it said. The checkpoint was a rectangle box on the wall with a glowing blue diamond on it. After a few seconds there was a little bleep bloop noise, and the A.I’s voice came through.

_“Please state your name and species for ID verification.”_

“My name is Allura. I am an Altean.”

There was a light whirling around inside the machine and a small hose with a suction cup looking nozzle at the end of it popped out. _“Please place the nozzle onto non organic material. Preferably a very thick cloth that is fixed to the body at all times and will not get damaged. It is recommended that you place it on your chest.”_

Allura hesitated a little, hell all the paladin’s looked hesitant. But Allura stuck it on her chest. There was a slight hiss and a ka-chunk noise, and she pulled the hose away. On her chest plate was a bright white diamond on her chest.

 _“Identification is complete.”_ Said the Mimi. _“Would the next person come up to receive their ID?”_

Shiro was next. “My name is Takashi Shirogane. I am human.”

The machine whirled for a lot longer than it did for Allura. _“Species not recognised. Please deposit a DNA sample onto the collection plate for genome analysis.”_ A plastic tray extended from the machine. _“A fluid sample of a small skin, hair, or scale sample is also acceptable.”_

Shiro looked a little perplexed. “Um…”

“Just spit on it.” Said Pidge.

Shiro sighed and spat on it. After human DNA had been registered in the station’s system, Shiro received his ID. There were no problems with Lance, Hunk, or Pidge getting their ID’s either. However, there was a problem when it came to Keith.

“Keith Kogane, human.”

 _“... Incorrect species.”_ Said the AI. _“Please confirm species.”_

“I said I’m human.” Grumbled Keith.

_“Incorrect species. Please confirm species.”_

“Um, dude…” Stage whispered Hunk. “Maybe it can tell you’re half Galra?”

“How the hell would it know that?” Asked Keith.

Hunk shrugged. “I don’t know. Space stuff?”

“That would make sense.” Said Pidge. “The ship’s AI didn’t even know what a human was. It wouldn’t know what a human, galra hybrid was…. Does the AI even know what a Galra is?”

 _“Conformation required. Is hybrid correct?”_ Asked Mimi.

“... Yes.” Muttered Keith.

_“Please state the names of the species that make up your DNA.”_

“Human and Galra.” Grumbled Keith. The AI prompted him to spit on the plastic tray too, like Shiro did. After that, Keith was able to get his ID like everyone else.

The AI hologram seemed very happy. _“Thank you all for receiving your ID’s. I must warn you though, hybrids are very tricky to keep stable. Please try not to get into any trouble. We can’t guarantee your safety. Please enjoy your stay on the space station Acolyte.”_

“... So are we just going to ignore the fact that these things are called Altaxons?” Asked Pidge.

Allura had an uneasy look on her face. “Well, I’d say it’s highly unlikely that they would be the same as the Altaxons of Altax… Considering the location of this station and the time period on Altea when they vanished… Altean’s had only just started launching satellites at the time.” Though she couldn’t argue that Mimi did look similar to an Altean, but then again so did humans.

Lance shrugged. “It’s totally reasonable that there’s another species out there that’s called Altaxon. Anyway, there’s a control booth up there. We might be able to get in touch with someone.”

“Good thinking.” Said Shiro.

The group very carefully made their way up to the control booth. When they got there, Pidge quickly got to work to see if they could get into contact with anyone. “Hello? Is anyone there? Anyone anywhere?”

They got static for a few seconds before a voice crackled to life. Though it was different to Fewbar. _“Ah, so you lot are the people that just arrived huh? Humans too? Guess your species has only just started to explore the universe.”_ They sounded disinterested. _“Though I guess you have been out there for a bit. Your kind is interbreeding with Galra… Those things apparently breed with anything with a heartbeat… Well to be fair I’d be more shocked if there was a half Altean with you.”_

Allura cleared her throat. “Might I ask who you are?”

_“Only if you extend the courtesy back.”_

“Of course.”

 _“My name is Null.”_ Said the voice. _“Chief scientist, and currently, only scientist around anymore…”_ They started coughing heaving. Kind of like a heavy smoker on their last legs. _“Probably not going to be around for too much longer…”_

“I’m Princess Allura of Altea.” Said Allura. “We are the Paladins of Voltron. We got a distress call and came here.”

 _“Oh? Altea? Voltron? Well now I have questions.”_ Said Null. _“Like; what is a Voltron? How is our home planet? Still as strange and wonderful as ever?”_

“So you are the Altaxons?” Asked Allura in shock. Not only that this ancient race survived, but they were technically Alteans. These people were her people. She and Coran weren’t the last of the Alteans… But they didn’t seem to know about the destruction of their plante. “Null… Altea is no more… The Galra destroyed it…”

 _“And you still ally yourself with someone with Galra blood? Huh, interesting…”_ They coughed a few more times and groaned. _“Well, that is interesting… Back in the day we would have returned something like the Galra with twice the force. Take one of our eyes, we will take both of yours and cut out your tongue.”_

The way that Null talked really unsettled Allura. Shiro took over speaking to Null. “Look, we are here to rescue you and anyone else on board.”

Suddenly the station shook rather violently, causing everyone to panic. Some sparks flew out of the console and Null sighed. _“Perfect… Well if I don’t choke on my own blood, then I’m going to get sucked into a blackhole and crushed.”_

“What the heck was that?” Asked Lance. 

Pidge quickly started hitting buttons on the console. “Something’s going wrong in the engine room. The gravitational shield isn’t stable anymore.”

 _“Hello?”_ Called Null. _“My monitor says that we’re still connected but I can’t hear you anymore I… Mother fucker…”_ They sighed dramatically. _“Okay, Voltron paladins. You want to do some daring rescue? Fine. But if you want to even get to me in time you need to send someone down to the engine and reboot the shields. It’s a closed system and I can’t do it from here.”_

Allura nodded a little and looked over at Hunk and Pidge. The two paladins looked like they knew that this job would probably fall on them. They were the techs after all. If they couldn’t get something fixed, then they were probably screwed.

 _“Also, that tremor shook loose a cable to the main tower in the residential district. I have a live feed of the problem and it literally just needs to be plugged back in. It’s the main reason we only have one way communication… But if you really need to contact me the nearest comms system that isn’t completely messed up is the one in… the library. It’s just past the residential district.”_ Null started coughing again. _“I’ll unlock the way for you a lot if you plan on helping… Though I’d understand if you just decide to leave. The shields are very time sensitive… Just remember to hit the checkpoints when you get to them. You’ll really regret it if you don’t.”_ Null started coughing again as they cut out.

“... So are we really going to do this?” Asked Lance. Everyone gave him an odd look and Lance frowned. “Hey, this place is giving me the heebie jeebies. There’s something really sketchy about the whole place. Like, not even our lions wanted us to come here.”

“That is true…” Said Allura calmly. “But there is something strange going on here… And Fewbar is still in the residential area.” 

The station shook again and Shiro quickly jumped into action. “Okay, Hunk, Pidge. You two are going to go down to the engine room to try and stabilize the station. If it fails we won’t be able to get back to the castleship. Lance, Keith. You two are going to go to the residential area to reconnect the station’s internal comms and find Fewbar. Allura and I are going to go to the library to talk to Null and find out more information.”

“Just uploaded a map for you guys.” Said Pidge as they stepped away from the console. “Okay, come on Hunk. I think I found the quickest way to the engine room.”

“Okay. See you guys soon.” Said Hunk and the two of them walked down a hallway.

“This is the way to the residential area.” Said Keith as he pointed to the map.

“Got it.” Said Lance as he took his bayard out. “Hopefully we won’t encounter too many hostiles.”

“Here’s hoping.” Muttered Keith as the two of them walked down a different hallway.

Allura looked at the map and she and Shiro plotted the quickest path to the library. As they walked down the hallway, Allura felt a shiver run up her spine. Something about this place just gave off extremely bad vibes. She did not like this at all, but she had to press forward to try and help whoever needed help. That’s what Voltron did.

***

Getting to the residential district was relatively easy. A little too easy in Lance’s mind. But then again he was always kind of extra paranoid about going into hostile environments. Every little sound in the pipes made his eyes dart around. It was pretty intense. He needed a distraction.

“So… Galra might be here huh?” He asked as he looked up at a pipe that made a weird noise.

Keith shrugged. “We saw some Galra ships in the hanger here. So they might be here…”

“Yeah… What do you think happened here?” Asked Lance. “The Altaxons huh? They are technically Altean’s too right?”

“I guess… But it has been 10,000 years… Hell, even longer considering when they apparently vanished.” Said Keith. He didn’t seem very interested in banter. He was focused on the mission. Which was good, but Lance really wished that Keith would loosen up every once in a while. The two of them got to a door and Keith checked his map. “... The residential area is here.”

“Rodger dodger.” Lance held his rifle just a little more firmly, ready to take on whatever was beyond the door.

Keith pressed a button on the wall and the doors wooshed open. Before them was a sprawling city scape with towers made of grey metal. It was deathly quiet. The only real noises were the sounds of the space station’s pipes.

Near the door, Lance noticed one of those checkpoint things. He walked over to it to see how one registered at one of these things. “What are you doing?” Asked Keith.

Lance shrugged. “We got told to hit these things up, so maybe it’s important to do so? You never know.” When Lance got close enough to it, a light from the top of the machine quickly scanned him and played a happy tune. “I guess that worked? You do it too.”

Keith frowned but did it anyway. “I fail to see the point in this… What if there are Galra here and they can track us this way?”

“Well, what if Pidge is able to hack the system and we can use it to track other people here?” Asked Lance.

“... Well I guess that would be a good idea.” Mused Keith. “Let’s just get communications up again and we’ll reconvene with the rest of the team.”

“Got it… This place is still really creepy though.” Muttered Lance. With Keith leading the way, Lance covered his back. They still weren’t exactly sure what was on the station apart from possibly Galra. They had to be safe. Out of the corner of Lance’s eye something moved. He quickly froze and raised his gun while signaling for Keith to stop.

“Did you see something?” Asked Keith.

“I thought I did…” Muttered Lance. “Just for a second I… Probably just the lighting. It’s flickering a little.”

“Yeah, probably…” Acknowledged Keith. “Let’s keep moving sharpshooter.” Lance smiled a little at the nickname. He was happy that it actually caught on. He continued to follow Keith and rounded a corner. If they had stayed for a few moments longer, they would have seen a slithering mass slowly slink between the buildings as it silently stalked them.


	185. Fighting styles (AtLA AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's still hanging out at Hunk's village... Some people are getting along better than others. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance and Pidge practiced their bending out in a field a little bit away from the village. Lance didn’t have a lot of water, but he had his water skin, so he could move the water in that while Pidge just used the earth around her. Just for fun the two of them tried to mimic each other’s movements. 

Lance found that Pidge’s harsh, more direct movements made his water bending a lot harsher. Stronger. More brutal. He copied Pidge in making a shield with his bit of water. Much to his shock, the water froze and he made an ice shield. Lance swore in shock and grabbed hold of it.

“Hey! I actually made ice!”

“That’s pretty neat.” Said Pidge. “Don’t you know how to do ice anyway?”

Lance shrugged and put the ice down to melt in the sun. “I usually just make slush. So this is a big deal for me.”

Pidge grinned. “Huh, guess you needed to be a little more forceful in your bending, huh?”

“Yeah, apparently so.” Mused Lance. “So, has earthbending with a bit of waterbending techniques?”

They shrugged and started to love their body the same way that Lance had done previously. “Well, I can see how it’s useful. I mean, it’s easier to bend smaller and lighter stones. I could probably bend some mud in a more fluid way?”

“Possibly.”

Pidge thought for a moment. “Hey, do you think that we could learn some more bending from Shiro and Keith? Like, airbending is the opposite of earthbending, and firebending is the opposite to waterbending. We could learn a lot from them.”

“We probably could…” Lance sighed and wiped the water from his hands. “Well, let’s head back now. I need to get more water since all my water just got frozen.”

The two of them headed back to Hunk’s home. Out the back of the house was a large pond filled with decorative fish and pond plants. Blue had happily made herself at home there and would either swim in the water or sun herself on one of the flat rocks. Every time she saw Lance she would happily waddle over to him and quack a few dozen times at him before she waddled back to the pond.

Rover was by the pond too. He had climbed onto the tallest rock and enjoyed the sun. They sometimes move down to the rock Blue likes to sun on to get a drink. Though if Blue was there he would just climb over her, much to Blue’s protests.

Lance chuckled as he walked past the pond to the well. “Hey Blue. Are you having fun there girl?”

“Quack!”

“Good girl. Stay with Rover.”

“Quack!”

Hunk’s mother was hanging up some laundry when they were walking through. She chuckled at Lance’s antics. It seemed as though Hunk took after his mother in the personality department, while he took after his father in the looks department.

“You two enjoying yourselves?” She asked. 

“We sure are Mrs Garret.” Said Pidge. “Do you know where Shiro and Keith are?”

“I believe Shiro is helping Hunk and my husband at our shop in town.” She said. “I think Keith is by the bay… He said something about being able to put fires out faster if he was by water?”

“Thanks.” Pidge looked up at Lance. “Okay, you go and talk to Keith. I’m going to find Shiro.”

“Why do I have to find Keith?” Whined Lance. “Keith’s an ass…”

“Because fire is the opposite to water. It might help to learn from our opposites, you know?”

“I guess…” Muttered Lance. “Fine… I’ll go and do the thing and you go and do your thing.” He would have preferred to talk with Shiro. At least he was nice and not all moody.

Lance made it down to the bay and easily found Keith. He was a bit away from everyone and practicing punching and kicking fireballs out into the water. It was pretty impressive, but the firebender looked frustrated.

When he got closer to Keith he clapped a few times to try and alert him to his presence, just so he wouldn’t suddenly get hit in the face with a fireball. Keith jumped a little in surprise at the noise and quickly looked over at him. 

“Oh. It’s you.” Muttered Keith.

Lance pouted. “Oh, it’s you? That’s a little rude, don’t you think?”

Keith shrugged and went back to practicing fire punches. He looked pissed off. Lance still wasn’t very versed in the ways that firebending actually worked. So he just stood back and watched Keith work. Quick, decisive strikes. Hardly any blocking or guarding. It made Lance wonder if he even could block or if Keith’s fighting style just meant he would try and beat his opponent into submission.

“Okay, what the hell is your problem?!” Snapped Keith. “Why are you watching me?!”

Lance rolled his eyes and held his hands up. “Calm down there hot head. I was waiting for you to finish so we could talk.”

“Oh… What about?”

“Well, I think we can learn from each other.”

“... Learn what?”

“How to bend better of course. Look.” Lance took a stance similar to one that Pidge had and quickly started to bend some water from the bay. With a deep breath, very forceful, strong, and harsh movement, he created an ice shield. Lance grinned and leaned against it. “Pretty neat huh? I couldn’t make any ice things before. I guess my movements were too gentle? But I can do this because I incorporated some of Pidge’s techniques. So what do you think?”

“... It’s interesting but it’s just ice.” Keith shot a fire stream out of his fist and melted the shield rather quickly. “Nothing is that impressive about fire compared to a wildfire.”

Lance balked at Keith’s smug attitude. “Um, hello? Floods? Tsunamis? Have you never heard of those?”

“I have, but they don’t concern me much.”

“... Wow, you’re a real dick. You know that, right?”

“And you’re a waste of time!” Snapped Keith. “Go and annoy someone who cares.”

Lance glared at him for a moment before a wicked idea formed in his head. “You know what Keith? You’re way too much of a hot head. You need to cool off a little. Let me help with that.” With a quick spin and twist of his hands, Lance shot a water jet at Keith that knocked him off his feet and soaked him to the bone.

“LANCE!”

“Aw, what’s the matter firebender? You all washed up now?”

Keith slowly stood up. Steam was quickly starting to pore off his body. He. Looked. Pissed. “You shouldn’t have done that…” Fire started to swirl around his hands.

“... Oh shit.” It was at that moment, Lance knew… he had fucked up.

***

Pidge happily made her way to Hunk’s family shop. Apparently Hunk’s whole family bought and sold a bunch of different things from all over the world. They got most of their goods from merchants passing through, but the majority of the more exotic stuff came from Hunk. Pidge easily found Hunk and Shiro moving some boxes into the shop.

Shiro waved at her. “Hey there Pidge. What’s going on?”

“Nothing much. Lance and I were talking about learning different fighting styles.” Said Pidge. “So we thought it might be a good idea to try and change our fighting styles up a bit. So, since airbending is the opposite of earthbending, I thought that we could learn something from each other?”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “That actually makes a lot of sense… Maybe Lance and Keith should-”

“I already sent Lance to talk to Keith about it.”

“Oh, well that’s good I guess?” He seemed a little worried. 

Pidge just brushed it off. “So what are you doing here anyway?”

“I felt bad about staying at the Garret house without doing something to help.” Said Shiro. “So I decided to help them move some stuff into the shop.”

“Hmmm, okay. We can still go and do some fighting, right?”

“When I’m done here.” Said Shiro. “You just have to be a little bit patient, Pidge. Patience yields focus.”

“Eh, but I don’t wanna be patient….” Whined Pidge. “I want to learn how to metalbend already.”

Shiro chuckled and patted her head with his prosthetic hand. She felt a strange breeze surrounding the strange wooden thing. It felt weird. “Patience Pidge. Everything will come when it’s all good and ready. You-” There was a sudden explosion of steam that came from the bay. It was large enough for them to see it from the middle of the village. 

“The heck was that?” Asked Hunk as he walked out of the shop. “An explosion?”

Shiro sighed. “I think Keith threw a fireball at Lance and Lance blocked it…”

“Yikes. Hope they are okay.” Said Hunk. “More for Keith’s sake than Lance… If Lance is hurt and Princess Allura finds out then Keith is gonna get stuck in ice for all eternity.”

“An ice cube with a spicy center.” Mused Pidge.

Shiro just shook his head. “Let’s just get this stuff inside. Then we’ll go and see if those two are still alive.”

***

The two benders had collapsed and were panting heavily on the ground. Keith threw a fireball at him just when Lance pulled a large wave of water out of the bay to save himself. The result with a huge explosion of hot steam. The two of them instantly got a blast of hot steam, like they had just walked into a sauna.

Lance didn’t think he had sweated more than he had just then in his entire life. Keith was also flat out on his back, panting heavily. At least he didn’t look like he wanted to murder Lance anymore. Which was nice.

“So…” Said Lance slowly.

“Yeah?”

“My clothes are soaked.”

“Same.”

“That was one hell of a fireball…”

Keith chuckled a little. “Well, you pissed me off.”

“True…”

“So um… That was still impressive.”

“Thanks… The wave you did was pretty impressive… So was the ice shield.”

Lance smiled and looked over at him. “Really? You mean that?”

“Yeah. I haven’t seen you do any ice stuff before.”

“Aw, well I haven’t really been able to… I was only able to do this today.”

Keith sat up and looked at him. “Really? Just from doing some different movements?”

“Well, it was a little more than that.” Said Lance. “But yeah. Do you want to maybe learn how to do some waterbending moves? It might help you out? Like it might help you out a bit?”

Keith thought about it for a moment before he sighed and flopped back onto the sand. “Yeah, sure. Just… Just give me a moment. I didn’t expect to get sauna blasted.”

Lance put this thumb up. “Yeah, I’m gonna need a few minutes too…”


	186. Volleyball (Modern fantasy AU XXVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is trying so... so hard... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After borrowing his mother’s van, Lance drove Keith, Krolia, Lotor, and Ezor out to a more secluded stretch of beach a fair bit away from the city. The group, lead by Lance, was going for a brisk walk by the beach. Lance felt energized and he hoped the elves and gorgon felt the same way.

“Nothing like a morning walk, huh guys?” He asked when they finished their walk.

“I guess you’re right…” Muttered Keith. “But… Why are we so far out here?”

Lance shrugged. “Well, try and consider this as a bit of a weight loss boot camp. It’s easier than the boot camps my sister does, so if you like this or find it easy, you might consider asking her to join her weekend boot camps? Besides, who doesn’t love the beach, right?”

“B-but out here… There’s no french fries!” Whined Keith.

“Or ice cream.” Said Krolia.

“Or ramen!” Whined Ezor.

Suddenly Lotor’s eyes lit up. “Oh! That’s why we are out here. It’s to help these clunkers avoid temptation.”

“Who are you calling a clunker?!” Snapped Keith.

Lance sighed. “Look, Lotor might have been a little harsh, but he’s correct. Look, the truth is that all of you snack too much.” He pointed at Keith. “You eat breakfast and then snack on fries.” He pointed at Krolia. “You eat lunch and then snack on soft serve.” He pointed at Ezor. “You have ramen for dinner and then ramen for supper. Your dietary issues are body issues! You can’t keep living like this!”

“So we are here so we can go cold turkey?” Whined Ezor.

Lance shrugged. “Kind of. The point of today is to help you reevaluate how you live. Your bad habits are going to end here. By creating a physical distance between you and your favourite things, they are shut out of your daily lives. Cravings that come from your senses like sight and sound can be string after all. By changing your behavior in this way, we can nip your cravings in the bud.”

Krolia, Keith and Ezor looked very disappointed in what was going on, but Lance was having none of it. He had put a lot of thought into this weekend. At least Lotor seemed to be on his side. The dark elf was nodding along to what he was saying.

“So this weekend this is going to be the plan; three healthy meals a day, proper exercise, and learning good habits. I also packed the schedule full of fun activities, so I’m hopin you’ll all have fun too.”

Lotor frowned a little. “While I agree with what you are saying, why am I here? I hardly ever snack between meals.”

“Oh, because you’re always complaining about your job. Even if it’s your day off they’ll want you on call, right? If you’re out here then they can’t expect you to suddenly come back in.”

“Hmm… I can’t argue with that.”

Lance smiled and clapped his hands. “Okay guys. Grab a drink and then we’re heading down to the beach.” The three food orientated elves whined about the lack of their favourite foods. Eventually they made it down to the beach. 

***

Unfortunately, the group was too distracted to notice a certain satyr watching them from the distance.Nyma had followed the group down and was planning her revenge against the elves. They were awful, terrible, wretched creatures. She hated them so, so much. 

“Those shameless elves… I won’t forgive them. I will get my revenge and humiliate them!” She looked over her shoulder at two shadowy figures standing in the treeline. “You two really did some to help me, right?”

“Of course we did.” Said the shoulder of the two.

The taller cracked her knuckles and smirked. “We also have a debt to settle with those elves. We have a common interest in their downfall.”

Nyma smirked and rubbed her hands together. “Perfect. I’ll get my revenge for sure this time…”

***

Krolia poked Lance’s shoulder, making him jump a little. “Lance?”

“Y-yes?!”

“Why did you put that fishing net on poles?”

“Oh, it’s a volleyball net.” Explained Lance. “I thought it might be fun if we played a bit of beach volleyball. You guys seem to like human things, right?”

“How do you play?” She asked. 

“Well, beach volleyball is played with two players per team.” As Lance explained everyone else walked over to see what he was talking about. “The goal is to send the ball to the other side of the court without it touching the ground. If your opponent can’t return the ball, you win a point. However, your team can only touch the call three times and the same person can’t touch the call twice in a row.” He smiled and happily picked up the volleyball. “The first team to reach 21 points while having a 2 point lead if given a set and the first team to take 2 sets is the winner.”

Ezor hummed a little and kicked at the sand. “It’s it kind of hard to move on the sand?”

Lance nodded. “Well yeah, but since sand absorbs the impact of your footsteps it decreases the impact on your joints. It might be a little hard to maintain stability, but this works your core muscles. But enough about that, let’s have fun while losing weight!”

Lance was designated as the referee since he knew the rules, and everyone split into teams of two. Ezor and Keith on one team with Krolia and Lotor on the other. Team Keith and Ezor started with the ball.

“Okay, here it comes!” Said Ezor cheerfully as she tossed the ball into the air, and spiked it into Keith’s head.

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!”

“AHHHH!!! IT WAS JUST A JOKE!!!”

“Hey, calm down you two and play the game!” Snapped Lance.

Eventually everyone started to play volleyball properly. They quickly picked up the rules of the game and the quartet was soon jumping and diving for the ball with no problem. Thankfully they were playing a friendly game that wasn’t competitive. If it was, Lance was pretty sure Krolia would have spiked the ball into Keith’s face if she had the chance.

After the first set, Lance handed out a generic sports drink to them. They needed to keep hydrated and boost their electrolytes. “You guys are pretty good.”

“Thanks…” Muttered Keith as he quickly downed half his drink. “... I’ll get a set off you next time Krolia.”

“We shall see.” Said Krolia calmly. “Alright, let’s do another match.”

“I’m already wiped out…” Whined Ezor.

“Why are you tired?” Asked Keith. “I did all the hard work.”

“Exercise isn’t my strong suit.” Said Ezor. “Of course you’re agile. You’re an elf. It’s impressive, considering how rotund-”

“DID YOU JUST CALL ME ROTUND?!” He grabbed Ezor’s cheek and squeezed roughly, making her squeal.

“I could sub if you like?” Suggested Lance. The sound of sand shifting a fair bit away from them, made the elves jump and quickly hide their pointed ears under headbands and hats. Three women were walking up to them, all wearing similar looking sporty swimwear and heavily tinted sunglasses. 

A fit woman with short hair was holding a volleyball, cleared her throat. “Excuse me, but is this net taken?” 

“Oh, we just finished our first set.” Said Lance. “If you want to borrow it for a set you can go ahead.”

“Oh no, we…” The short haired woman looked over at Keith, grabbing Ezor’s face and tensed up. The taller woman, that looked very much like a bodybuilder, put her hand on the shorter’s shoulder. They shared a look before the short haired woman spoke again. “There are only three of us. We are one short, right? If you don’t mind, how about we play together?”

The elves happily agreed while Ezor decided to sit out and watch. Two teams of three with Ezor and Lance doing the refereeing. While the new comres went to warm up, Lance had a quick talk with the elves.

“Um, is it really a good idea for you guys to play against them?” He asked. “The are just normal humans… Please hold back so you don’t cause accidents.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Said Keith. “We won’t do anything crazy.”

The elves and the humans took to their sides of the net. Keith stood near the front and quickly did a few elven hand signals behind his back, informing that he would run back to receive, fat ass would set the ball, and Krolia would come in for the attack. He heard an affirmative huff from his mother and an angered grunt from Lotor, so he knew they understood his message.

The muscular women hit the ball over the net and it was game on. Keith ran back to hit it to Lotor, Lotor hit it to Krolia, Krolia went to spike it and… was immediately blocked by the bodybuilder and the short haired woman. The ball bounced back and the humans scored a point. The elves were in shock that anyone was able to block one of Krolia’s attacks. 

The human with blond pigtails smirked as her teammates high-fived each other. It was all going to plan.

“W-wow…” Said Lance. That was an incredible block…”

“So the score is 1-0.” Sais Ezor.

“Sorry mum…” Said Keith. “That caught me totally off-guard. There’s no way I could have returned that…”

“It’s okay.” She said. “It looks like I put a little too much power into that one. It’s hard to tell how much power to put into it… to completely crush your opponent…”

Lotor frowned a little. “Something tells me you’re using way too much power…”

Keith rolled his eyes. “And something tells me you’ve got too much in that caboose.”

Lotor glared at him and slapped Keith’s stomach. “Oh yeah?! And what about this? Looks more like a belly ball that a belly! How about I give it a toss!”

“Oh yeah?! How do you like my receive?!” Keith slammed his hands into Lotor’s ass like he was trying to send a volleyball over the net.

Before they could start fighting, Krolia quickly cracked their heads together. “Stop fighting.”

“S-sorry Krolia…” They both whimpered.

Lance just shook his head. “Man… Sometimes they are acting like old friends and sometimes they are acting like brothers going at each other’s throats…”

“Old friends huh…” Ezor let out a sad sigh.

“Is something wrong?” Asked Lance.

“Oh, no. It’s all good.” Said Ezor.

***

While they were talking, Nyma picked up the volleyball and smirked. Everything was going according to plan. She was going to humiliate them all and put them all in their place. She walked over to the bodybuilder and handed her the ball. “Hey, I have an idea. How about I mix some magic into this game?”

The two women looked at Nyma and chuckled. The shorter woman shrugged. “As long as you are not discovered, then you are welcome to.”

“Hey! Don’t treat me like some amateur!”

“You’re just imagining things.”

Nyma huffed and made a plan. The next time they hit the ball over the net, Nyma quickly cast slip on some sand in front of Keith. The elf slipped, flailed, landed face first in the sand while reaching out to grab something. He ended up reaching out and grabbing the back of Lotor’s shorts and yanked them clean off as Lotor jumped up to hit the ball back.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Snapped Lotor as he pulled his shorts back on.

“It was an accident!” The two eleves started to fight again, and both got clobbered by Krolia again. 

After that, they went back to trying and failing to score a point. Nyam was loving this. They were going to be completely humiliated in a crushing defeat… That was until the bodybuilder missed a ball. She and her friend just shrugged it off like it was nothing. At the end of the first set they scored 21 and against the 15 that the elves scored.

“The all girls team won the first set…” Said Lance in disbelief.

Everyone took a break to get some water. Nyma couldn’t help but glare at her teammates. This was not what she wanted at all. She wanted total domination. Not this B.S.

“It seems like something is troubling you.” Said the bodybuilder.

“You’re damn right there is!” Hissed Nyma. “You gave them those points! You ruined my perfect game! Why didn’t you follow my plan?!”

The short haired woman chuckled. “Clearly you have misunderstood. We just agreed to cooperate. We did not agree to take orders from you.” They gestured to the tired elves. “Look at how exhausted they are. By allowing our opponents to score and draw the set out, have we not gained the upper hand?”

“But even if we won while playing fair, they wouldn’t feel embar-”

“Even if we agreed to achieve your goal, There must be corporal punishment exated upon them…” She growled darkly. Her tone made Nyma shiver. “The only reason you are here is to balance out the teams so we can go after all the elves at once. I would advise you to stay back.”

“Wh-what are you planning to do?” Asked Nyma with dread.

“We have already coiled around our prey.” Said the short haired woman. “All we must do now is gradually squeeze the life out of them.” She looked up at the bodybuilder. “It’s time.”

The bodybuilder smirked and cracked her knuckles. “Yes. The suffering that she was forced to endure… that pain… Let’s give them a taste.”

***

“Alright!” Called Lance. “Time for the second set to start!”

“Good luck both teams!” Called Ezor.

Keith served the ball, the short haired girl received it, the bodybuilder set it up, and the short haired girl went to spike it. “First out of three!” She hissed. The ball practically hissed through the air as it struck Krolia in the wrist and rebounded right into her face. She fell back into the sand, flat on her back.

“Mum?!” Called Keith in shock.

She dusted herself off and stood up. “I am fine.”

“Are you sure?” Asked Keith.

“It is nothing to worry about.” Krolia said calmly. She looked over at the trio on the other side of the net. “The real concern is you. Who the hell are you?”

“We’re merely an ordinary crew of beach volleyball players.” Said the short haired woman.

“Bull fucking shit!” Snapped Keith. “There’s no way my mum could be overpowered by some nobody! No fucking way that spike was a fluke!”

“It was a normal spike. Her inability to return it was nothing more than an error on her part.”

“Bull shit!”

“Hey, calm down Keith.” Said Lance. “I understand you’re frustrated, but the goal here is to have fun playing sports normally. Just try not to hurt yourselves and…” He sniffed the air. “Do I smell cooking?”

They looked over at Ezor, who had a little portable campfire set up to boil noodles for her instant ramen. “Um… It’s not what you think?”

Now Keith looked pissed. “Oh, so you’re treating yourself? How unfair!”

“B-but I’m starving!”

Keith snatched the ramen cup away from her. “Shut up! If I can’t have fries then you can’t have ramen and… What’s happening to your hair?”

Ezor gasped and touched her hair. It was coming alive again in the form of snakes. “Oh my gods! This is resonance! My snakes don’t just react to my emotions, but the emotions of the people closest to me! It’s kind of like telepathy! They must have detected Acxa and Zethrid! My best friend and girlfriend! And they are pissed!”

“Your what now?!”

Suddenly the bodybuilder bent the net in half with her hand. “How dare you… You torment my Ezor in front of my own eyes not once, but twice?!

“Is that your girlfriend or your friend?” Asked Keith. 

Ezor just looked confused as dozens of small snakes appeared on her head. “Wh-who are you?”

“What are you talking about?!” Asked Lotor in shock. “Don’t you know them?”

“B-but… Zethred and Acxa are fat…” Said Ezor. She quickly crouched down and drew two blobs in the sand. “They were more plump and round…”

The bodybuilder cleared her throat. “Acxa and I… We chased after you, all the way to this world. And while we were searching for you, we burned all that fat away.”

“Wait, so why the fuck are you targeting us?” Asked Keith. “The fuck did we do?”

Zethrid sighed and gently touched the snakes on her head. “Well, if you had listened to Ezor you would know. Our snake’s senses are linked together. Our feelings flow through them. I could sense that my girlfriend was in utter despair. Thus, you are the root cause of this matter, elf.”

Keith frowned and thought about all this for a moment, He suddenly remembered the time Ezor lost control and she cried because he said she couldn’t have rane anymore. Were they able to sense how distressed she was and reacted to that?

Acxa cracked her knuckles. “Now that you are here, you will pay us what we are due.”

“Wait, what? Seriously?” Asked Keith. “You guys are way too overprotective.”

“Enough!” Said Acxa. “As I said before, we have gradually squeezed the life out of them. It is time to finish them off.”

“Wait!” Cried Ezor. “Acxa, I can’t-”

“It’s okay Ezor.” Said Zethrid. “We’ll be the ones to do this. You don’t have to lift a finger.”

“Ah shit.” Hissed Keith. “Come on guys. Looks like we’re going to have to fight our way out of this one.” Lotor also took a fighting stance and so did Krolia, but she fell over. “Mum!”

Krolia was shivering. She looked down at her wrist and frowned. She had a snake bite.“That spike…”

“You seemed the most difficult.” Said Acxa. “So I shut you down first.”

“Shit!” Hissed Keith. “Lotor! Give her an antidote!”

“I can’t create an antidote with my magic!”

“A lot of good your fat ass does!”

“My ass has nothing to do with it potato brain!”

“Don’t worry.” Said Acxa. “The venom is not fatal. She will heal in time… Well, by the time she heals she will have a different type of wound entirely! Now we have you! We are going to punish you for the pain you inflicted upon our Ezor!”

“NO!” Yelled Ezor as she got between them. “Acxa! Zethrird! No fighting!”

“B-but they hurt you…” Said Zethrid. “Ezor, we-”

“I never asked for this!” She yelled. “Do you two even remember why I ran away from home?! You two just kept smothering me! Zethrid, you protected me from everything and wouldn’t let me put myself in any kind of danger at all! I wanted to go on dates to the swamps and highlands, but you said they were too dangerous! Acxa, you were always trying to stop me from going hunting with you saying that I’m too delicate! I’m a gorgon too!”

Zethrid looked like she was about to cry. “B-but honey snake-” 

“Don’t interrupt me!” Snapped Ezor. “These people are my friends! They are important to me! Apologize to them right now! Especially Lance! He’s terrified of snakes!” She pointed to Lance, who had fainted the second Ezor’s hair changed into a snake.

Acxa and Zethrid reluctantly apologized to the elves and Lance, even though he probably didn’t hear it. While this happened, Nyma quickly ran away. It was clear that the gorgons weren’t going to help in her plans to humiliate them. She needed a better plan. Once again she swore vengeance on them.


	187. Devil in the Church (HolyHell AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a few witty titles for this chapter and stuff... But whatever. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

When Keith was born, his first memories were of his father. A strong, but kind man. However, he was also vengeful and quickie to teach Keith the very valuable lesson, an eye for an eye. Then, if the crime permitted it, his old man was more than happy to tell him that he should double his revenge. If they broke one bone, he’d break more.

While not a good thing to teach a human child, demons didn’t care. They were brutal creatures and quickly drilled how fucked up the living world was. As soon as Keith was old enough to walk and hold a knife, his dad would take him everywhere with him. He was still young enough to lock his tail in a vice-like grip. So his father would often just have Keith attached to his arm or belt as he walked around their home deep in the forest.

Keith’s form was still very much demonic, but after a long time he was able to make himself look human. When that happened, his father happily sent him out to play with human children. Keith quickly found out that human children were easily breakable. It wasn’t his intent, but lots of his playmates had a tendency to stop moving after getting pushed out of a tree, or off a cliff. He didn’t really understand it.

He had asked his father a few times about why that happened. His father just shrugged and would go about doing what he was doing. “Humans are pretty fragile.” He would say; “You can’t play so roughly with them or they will die.” Or; “Well, you better put them back where you found them. I can’t fix them. Their parents will find them eventually.” Because of that, Keith and his family had moved around a lot. 

When Keith was a little older, his mother was taking care of him and happily introduced Keith to Kolivan and Antok. Slowly she would introduce him to the rest of the Mamora gang. They were nice enough and cooed over Keith. They all seemed to be enamoured with the demon baby, and were more than happy to take care of him when his parents needed some time to themselves.

Antok seemed to be one of the best people when it came to raining in Keith when he was young and throwing a tantrum. When Keith was in the middle of screaming at them, Antok would grab his tail and yank him high into the air. That would shit Keith up and he’d dangle limply in the air for a few solid minutes before Antok would put him down. Then he would be a lot quieter, if not a little moody.

Then in Keith’s teenage years, he met Shiro. Shiro was a lot closer to his age and acted a lot more like a brother to him. If he pushed Shiro out of a tree or off a cliff he didn’t stop moving like a human would. Shiro would hit the ground, climb back up, and throw him off. It was fun. Shiro was fun. Those days were fun and Keith cherished them.

Eventually Keith became a teenager and became interested in people again. They were so soft and delicate. It felt like if you breathed on them too hard them would wither away. Kind of like the flowers he would sometimes pick for his parents. They were pretty for a while, but they would eventually wither away and die.

It was around this time that Shiro introduced Keith to the concept of brides. Now, Keith wasn’t sheltered. He had lived with murderers and sadistic fucks that enjoyed causing pain on others for all his life. But the idea of a bride was odd to him.

“For our kind, a bride is the one person we will share everything with.” Said Shiro. “We can take many lovers in our life times, but our brides will always be the one that we will go through anything for. There is no pain that we won’t go through, even if we have to die for them… When you find your bride, you just know that it’s them. You’ll be able to tell them anything. You’ll love them forever and they will love you.”

Keith didn’t understand that. He was still quite young and he had very few people that he could consider that he loved. He loved his parents, he loved Shiro, and he loved his extended demon family. But he didn’t love anyone in the romantic sense.

Then one day Shiro showed up with a human called Adam and said that he was his bride. Everyone in the group was surprised, but happy enough to accept him. Adam didn’t really interact much with them for a few years. He kept looking away whenever one of them tried to look at him.

Keith was very curious about Adam and would often sneak up to him to see him. Keith didn’t understand why Shiro would want a human. They were fragile. Breakable. Simple. He had asked his parents why Shiro wanted a human as a bride.

Krolia just shrugged. “It’s more common than you would think. Keith, you’re part succubus and once you hit puberty you’ll fully appreciate what a human can do for you.”

“Maybe Adam is kinder than our kind?” Suggested his dad. “Love is love and as long as they love each other then there is no problem.”

Keith didn’t really understand it, but he kept hanging around Shiro and Adam. He’d poke Adam when he got close enough to him. Adam was a lot squishier than he expected. Adam wasn’t a huge fan of getting poked by the smaller demon.

Eventually Keith got older, was gifted his first bike, and was able to ride with the gang. His parents made it very clear that if he fucked up while they were out on the road, Kolivan was going to be the one to punish him, not them. They would talk to him if they thought the punishment was too much, but most of the time they would agree with Kolivan’s judgement.

He learned a lot of things from them. Apart from how to fix a bike with only a roll of duct tape and a shoelace, Keith learned how to interact with humans. Yeah, they were still soft and squishy, but he could handle them without hurting them. Well, he could control how much he could hurt them before they died. 

He actually learnt a lot about this from Regris. Regris was an asshole, but he was a sadistic fuck that prided himself on getting information out of people when Kolivan asked him to.He touched Keith where to hit and with what amount of force to use to get answers. It was pretty easy to do and pretty soon, if Kolivan needed some help and Regris wasn’t around, he’d get Keith to do it.

Keith had hurt a lot of people. Killed plenty too. No one in the group really batted an eye at it. The only one that seemed to have a problem with it was Adam. Not that Keith could blame him much. Humans were weird about that kind of stuff. Most of the people Keith killed were accidents anyway. Especially in his younger years.

“Why did you take a human as your bride?” Keith had asked Shiro one day. “You have to keep so much of yourself hidden from them.”

“I don’t hide anything from Adam.” Said Shiro. “Adam knows everything about me. He knows all the good things, and the bad.”

“Seriously?” Asked Keith in disbelief. “How?”

Shiro just shrugged. “You can’t have a good relationship with someone if you hide things from them. When you find someone and want them to be your bride, you need to be able to trust them with anything. I trust Adam with my life. You can’t treat your bride like a hookup. You have to lay your cards out on the table. They need to know who you are and what they are getting into. It’s cruel to trick a human into behind the bride of a demon.”

“What if they don’t like you?” Keith asked. “Everyone says that humans don’t like demons.”

“Not all humans. Adam likes me.” Said Shiro. “... That’s just the risk you have to take.”

***

Keith paused for a moment between punching the the teeth out of the man that dared to gall Lance a fag. He had taken care of the man’s friends too. One had hit him pretty hard in the head with a pipe, made him bleed, and the other got a few punches in. Keith easily beat the shit out of them.

He thought about what Shiro said about tricking a human into being his bride, and that was kind of what he was doing with Lance. He dropped the unconscious man and walked out of the pub parking lot. He was feeling kind of guilty. Lance deserved better than what he was.

Keith was a coward. He didn’t have the balls to just tell Lance who he was and why he was there. He had to try and seduce him. None of it worked. None of it ever worked. Maybe he should just give up and just talk to him? Tell him the truth. That he really was a demon and he was enamored by him.

***

“So I made my way here and that’s the end of my confession.” Said Keith quietly.

Lance just sat there and nodded. “I see…” About half way through Keith’s confession about being a demon of some sort he had taken out his phone and started to look through a list of possible mental health issues that Keith might be suffering. He was leaning towards some kind of schizophrenia. He was clearly delusional if he thought he was a demon.

“So… What now?” Asked Keith. “Am I meant to pray? Who am I meant to pray to? What am I meant to pray to? I’m a demon and I-” He coughed a few times and something splattered against the screen. It made Lance jump a little, but his blood ran cold when he saw what was seeping through. It was blood. Keith was coughing up blood.

Before Lance could stop himself, he was out of the booth and pulling open Keith’s side. “Keith! Are you o… kay…?”

Sitting in the booth was Keith, but it wasn’t Keith. They had horns, claws, scales, yellow eyes, wings, and a tail. Lance didn’t know if he said anything when this demon stared up at him with shock and surprise. He stood up, wobbling slightly and gripping the sides of the confessional booth.

“Lance…” They said quietly. “Lance I… I’m sorry…”

“...” Lance took a few steps back towards the altar. “You’re… you’re a demon… and you’re in a church…”

“A religious building is only as holy as the people that occupy it.” Said Keith. “Being a pastor, you’re already pretty holy and I… With the church and your house just give me a headache.” He stretched his wings a little and walked a little closer to Lance, though he looked like he was clutching his side. Blood was oozing out from between his fingers.

“Y-you’re bleeding.” Said Lance quietly. Keith was hurt, but he was a demon. A demon in a church and he… What was Lance meant to do? His back hit the altar and he blindly reached back and grabbed the crucifix back there.

“Yeah, I noticed…” Muttered Keith as he looked down at his wound. “I think one of them stabbed me with something. It’s pretty fucked.”

“... Yeah.” Lance grabbed the crucifix and held it close to his chest. Keith was a demon. A demon in his church. Why was he here? Was he trying to corrupt the town? Keith was fixated on him, so he must have been trying to corrupt him. Why was he trying to corrupt him?

Keith saw him holding the crucifix and immediately looked sad. “... Lance, I’m not here to hurt you. I told you this because I wanted us to become closer. I-” He took a step towards him, and Lance thrusted the crucifix forward. 

“Don’t come any closer!” Yelped Lance. He was trying to think of anything that would repel a demon. Maybe a bible verse? He couldn’t think of anything. “D-don’t… Please just… Get out of the church… Th-this is a sacred place… You shouldn’t be here. G-get out!”

Keith looked dejected. He moved one of his hands up to his mouth and tugged off one of his fingerless gloves. He showed Lance one of his hands. “Lance… Please… Just look. We have the same scar. I gave it to you when you were a kid. At some wedding you went to. You were complaining about wearing uncomfortable shoes and wanting to wear a dress. You said you’d be my bride… I… I’m sorry…”

Lance froze up. He vaguely remembered that time. But it was so distant it was just a vague dream in his mind. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. This was too much too quickly. A million questions were running through his head. If that thing that happened when he was a child was true, then did that mean he sold his soul to Keith when he was a child? Was he damned for all eternity for something he did as a child?

“G-get back!” He yelled at Keith. 

Keith’s wings drooped slightly and he smiled sadly at the pastor. “Lance… This was never going to work out, was it? I should have listened to everyone when they found out you were a pastor…” He chuckled a little. “This is why we aren’t meant to ask children to be our brides. You never know what they are going to turn into when they grow up… I’ve reached my breaking point… I guess I just have to give up.”

Lance didn’t know what to think anymore. He was really scared of Keith. Demons told lies. What was stopping Keith from lying to him? He was terrified of Keith’s ulterior motives. Was Keith going to try and kill him? He gulped and held the crucifix tighter.

Before he could say anything, Keith put his hand up to stop him talking. “It’s fine. Really. I um… I’ll stop bothering you… Goodbye Lance. Good luck with the religious thing.” Keith quickly walked out of the church leaving Lance stunned.

Lance had been living with a demon. A demon was living with him and trying to corrupt him. Keith… The same guy that was trying very hard to make him happy. The guy that was trying to change his life to be better for him. But it could all be a trick. He needed to talk to Keith but he was gone.

“Shit…” Lance, still holding the crucifix, ran out of the church. “KEITH!” But the demon was already gone. Lance was freaking out, unsure what just happened. He got into his car and quickly drove home. When he got there, Keith’s bike was gone. Inside Keith’s room was nothing. Completely cleaned out. Keith was gone. Lance didn’t know what to think. He was too in shock.

***

Keith drove a few miles out of town to the sounds of an ambulance driving to the pub. He stopped at a gas station with a pay phone. Keith felt shitty about the whole thing. He realized that he was getting nowhere by playing human. He needed to just lay it all out for him. Plus he was pretty sure that someone was going to come after him for almost killing three humans.

His stab in his chest was pretty much healed now. Keith got to the pay phone, shoved some money into it and decided to call someone he felt cared for him and would be empathetic to his situation.

After a few seconds someone picked up. _“Hello?”_

“Hi dad…”

_“Keith! I feel like it’s been years since we last spoke. How are you? Your mum told me you were breaking off from the group to pursue your bride. Apparently he’s a pastor?”_

Keith could feel his throat tightening. “It… It didn’t work out…”

_“Oh Keith…”_

“I told him I was a demon and he…” Keith was having a very hard time controlling his voice at this point. “He pretty much told me to go away… I’ve given up. I admit defeat. I told him everything. He rejected me… He had a crucifix. I think he was going to hit me with it…”

_“Keith… I am so sorry… What are you going to do?”_

“I… I’m going to come home.” He said quietly. “I can’t meet up with the group again. They’ll make fun of me for fucking this up so badly, and just be all condescending fucks about it.”

_“I understand… Can I ask why you told him you were a demon? Presumably before you fucked him?”_

Keith rubbed his eyes a little and sniffled. “... I just… Nothing I could do worked. I tried using all the succubus tricks but it didn’t work. I lived like a human for a while, but when I tried to flirt with him he would always shut it down. I just wanted him to like me… I just scared him… I scared the person that’s meant to be my bride. I’m a horrible person…”

_“Keith, you’re not a horrible person… Okay, come home right now. We’ll talk about this better and we’ll do something nice. Yeah? Do you like the sound of that?”_

“Yeah… Sounds good… Please don’t tell anyone I’m going home… Everyone’s going to make fun of me…”

_“It’s okay. Just come home Keith. I really miss you.”_

“I miss you too dad… I’ll see you in a few days.” He hung up the phone and got back onto his bike. He felt like shit. The look on Lance’s face when he saw what he really looked like… The second he saw his horrified, terrified face, Keith knew that they had no future together and he was just wasting everyone’s time. Leaving was the best option for everyone.


	188. Rumors (Highschool AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance continues to be his pervy self, and Keith is probably gonna die of a heart attack from all the caffeine he is consuming. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was quietly cursing himself as he quickly cobbled together what he called a; wake the fuck up, shake. He had slept in later than he intended to, so he didn’t have time to make breakfast and he needed Adam to take him to school, because he missed the bus. His shake consisted of three scoops of instant coffee, a berocca tablet, and a can of a non carbonated energy drink. All of it was blended together in one of those protein shaker things.

So Keith was sitting in the back seat of Adam’s car, shaking his cardiac arrest in a cup to blend it together. He probably looked crazy with his hair sticking up in every direction. Like he had just rolled out of bed, which he did.

Shiro looked at him in the rearview mirror and frowned. “Are you sure that you want to drink that? It looks… Dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine Shiro.” Said Keith. 

Adam pulled into the school parking lot, and the man turned to the back seat. “Remember, Shiro and I might not be there when you get back.” 

“I know. Later.” Keith got out of the car and chugged his gross caffeine concoction as he quickly climbed the stairs and headed to his homeroom. He might have bumped into a few people, but to Keith’s credit he didn’t accidentally knock anyone into any lockers or trip over anyone.

He got to his homeroom just in time and sank into his seat seconds before the teacher walked in and took attendance along with reading the announcements. Keith continued to drink his weird drink mix to try and wake himself up. It kind of worked. Made his hands shake a lot.

Which was pretty bad for writing things. Thankfully the first class was watching some documentary about volcanoes. So this meant that Keith’s jitters would probably calm down a little. Probably not, but he could still dream, right?

One of the problems of chugging his wake the fuck up shake kind of made him time travel. Or to put it more bluntly, he was so damn wired he completely blanked out for several hours. Before Keith knew it, he was back in the lunch room with a tray of food in front of him. For some reason he still had his book bag with him and he quickly looked through it to see if he actually took notes. Thankfully he did. Though it was mostly incoherent scribbles. 

“... For fuck’s sake…” He grumbled. Keith wanted to punch his past self for being a dumb ass. It was going to take him forever to figure out what he wrote during his caffeine high. On one page he was pretty sure that he scribbled a stick figure with a stick sword. Yeah, he was fucked.

He sighed heavily and ate whatever he managed to buy for lunch. Some kind of stew. It was pretty weird tasting. Might have been a mix of lamb and beef. It had potato chunks in it. Maybe it was sweet potato? Keith really had no idea anymore. He just needed to eat, finish his classes, go home, and go to work. He was on with the owner that night so things should be okay. Kolivan was a scary bastard, but he was actually a teddy bear once you got to know him.

Keith quickly finished eating and went to put his tray away. He had a free period next and since he was still awake, he decided that he could go to the library and get a head start on figuring out what the hell he had written down during the day.

The librarian nodded at him when Keith walked in. Keith nodded back and found a quiet spot in one of the far corners of the library. It was one of the many places that Keith had found was comfortable enough for him to sleep in around the school. It was a little far away from most of the tables and other study areas. The place Keith settled into was in a chair off to the side. It was soft, kind of spongy, and it was just over all comfortable.

Keith got into the seat and took out his notebook. He had ten pages to figure out before his free period was over. He yawned a little and quickly slapped his face. He needed to focus. He couldn’t fall asleep now… But maybe he could close his eyes for a few minutes… Crashing from the caffeine was usually pretty intense.

***

Lance and Pidge also had a free period after lunch too. Pidge was heading to the library to find some books on some robotics thing she was working on for the science club. Lance was going to join her, but needed to grab some stuff from his locker.

His locker was quite close to Nyma’s. She was gossiping with her friends. They had just finished talking about some cashier at some clothes shop when Nyma brought up Keith. She had apparently seen him with that mysterious guy over the weekend too.

“He was really well dressed.” Said Nyma. “An older man, obviously. He looked really hot. He had designer bags from some high end clothing brands too… He’s totally Keith’s sugar daddy. I saw him buying stuff for Keith. Like, I know he’s into some crazy shit but like… Wow, he’s a delinquent and a hoe.”

Lance felt like he should speak up and say something, but he really didn’t know what to say in Keith’s defence. He didn’t know if Keith had a sugar daddy, but it was very possible. And there wasn’t the worst thing in the world. If someone wanted to be a sugary baby or sugar daddy, then that was their thing… But Lance was pretty sure that Keith wasn’t a legal adult yet. Delinquent or not, Keith needed to be protected somehow. 

Maybe Lance should suggest his friends talk to him? But then again, who was Keith’s friend? Did he even talk to anyone around the school? Keith was kind of a loner… Every time he saw Keith the guy was by himself or getting talked to by a teacher.

He grabbed his books and headed to the library. Pidge was hiding out in one of the side rooms. She already had a pile of books in front of her. She looked up at him and frowned. “You looked troubled. What happened?”

“I heard Nyma talking about Keith…”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “And now you want him to choke you with his thighs or something?”

“What? No. Not this time.” Said Lance quickly. He sat near her and frowned. “Nyma was saying Keith might have a sugar daddy.”

“... Seriously?” 

“Yeah…”

“And you believe her?” Asked Pidge. “Nyma’s the school gossip. You really think half of what she says is even remotely true?”

“Well… I think I might believe this one…”

“Why?”

“Because I saw Keith with an older man that didn’t look at all like his relative…” Said Lance. “I just happened to see Keith over the weekend and he… They looked really close. Like, really close…”

Pidge frowned a little and sighed. “Really Lance?”

“What? I’m concerned about him…”

“Yeah, sure. Make yourself useful and get me some more electronics books.” She passed him a piece of paper. “Here. Those ones. I couldn’t carry them all.”

“... Okay.” Lance took the paper and went to find the books that Pidge was after. It took him to one of the more secluded parts of the library. He didn’t think he had actually been into this section of the library before. It was quiet and kind of warm. There were a few soft chairs in the corner and saw someone was occupying them.

Lance would have just walked by, but then Lance saw the mullet. Keith was in one of the chairs and he was sleeping. He looked so damn cute! He looked so peaceful. No stress lines on his face or anything. He looked way too cute. But Lance knew that if he woke up Keith would probably beat the shit out of him for disturbing him.

That thought sent a shiver down his spine as he thought of all the ways that Keith could abuse and bully him in the library. He wanted Keith to hold him down, fuck him hard, and choke him so he couldn’t make a noise… Keith would call him a whore and...

Lance quickly shook his head. He couldn’t suddenly pop a boner at the thought of Keith being all sadistic towards him. He needed to get Pidge’s books… That and he didn’t want Keith to see him pop a boner in front of him. That would be embarrassing.

Lance went to quickly leave the area, and kicked the metal book shelf, making a rather loud noise. It startled Lance, and it startled Keith awake. “A-Adam?” He said in a confused tone. “... Oh fuck I fell asleep…”

Hearing Keith’s voice made Lance shudder. He looked over at Keith. He was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes while looking through his notes. Lance gulped and quickly scurried away into the safety of the shelves. He internally cursed himself some more. He wants to be close to Keith to try and get to know him, or help him. But at the same time he was afraid that Keith would hate and reject him.

He got Pidge her books and went back to her. The study period went by quickly and before Lance knew it, he was sitting in science. A few seats away from Keith. He looked like he was in a bad mood. Maybe Lance should have just let him sleep.

Near the end of the lesson the teacher quickly got their attention. “Okay everyone. Group assignment.” They said. “I already picked out your partner so don’t complain.”

Everyone groaned and Lance pouted. Group assignments sucked, but as the teacher went on and paired people off, Lance noticed that neither he nor Keith’s name had been called out yet. Maybe he and Keith would be partners? The stars would align and they would have to be partners? They would-

“Keith Kogane, and Kaite Holt.”

Lance wanted to fucking die. Of course Pidge would be his partner. Not him. He was upset, but he was okay with Pidge getting to partner with Keith. He could still talk with him too. Pidge was his friend so he could see Keith too. Talk to him. It would be good.

After class, Lance waited for Pidge since she and Keith ended up talking to the teacher about something. When she eventually left, Pidge looked very confused. “Hey Pidge. What’s going on?”

“He doesn’t want to be my partner.” 

“What?”

“Keith told the teacher he wants to do the assignment alone.”

“... What?!”

“Yeah, I know… Like, I was going to do it all myself anyway but… He didn’t even want an easy A? Fucking weirdo…”

“Yeah… I guess…” And once again Lance’s plans to talk to Keith had been thwarted.

***

Once Keith got home he had a quick shower and made it to his part time job and the 24/7 convenience store. Kolivan was waiting for him and nodded. “A little early there kid?”

Keith shrugged and went about his duties. “I guess… Can I do overtime this weekend?”

“Labor laws kiddo.” Said Kolivan. “Can’t have you working anymore than you already are.”

“But I need the money.”

Kolivan shook his head and started to restock the cigarette cabinet. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Kids always saving up for the latest game, cars, university, dates with their girls.”

Keith pouted a little at Kolivan’s condescending tone. He knew that he meant it in jest, but still, it was a little annoying. Keith was working very hard to be self sufficient. He didn’t want Shiro or Adam to fund his life. He wanted to be independent. The sooner the better. He wanted Adam and Shiro to be able to focus on each other and not worry about what was going to happen to him. As long as Keith had a good education, a job, and some money, he would be fine.

Kolivan tapped Keith on the shoulder with a pen. “Check the drinks fridge and restock it.”

“Yeah, sure.” Keith wandered to the back and started to restock the fridge with milk cartons. Night shift was pretty easy. Hardly anyone came in and the people that did usually asked for cigarettes or lottery tickets. There was a woman that came in at least once a week that looked completely frazzled that would buy a carton of milk. He thought she might have had a baby or something.

And so Keith started his shift. Kolivan mostly stayed in the back to do paperwork. He only ever really came out if Keith needed him to take over the register while he cleaned a spill or if a customer became irate with him.

Keith hardly paid attention to who was coming in through this time. He just scanned the items and got the money from them. However, he immediately spotted Coran when he walked in with a young woman with platinum blond hair. She seemed familiar, but Keith couldn’t quite place her. They grabbed a few things and got to the counter.

Coran happily grinned at him. “Hello there Keith. “You work part time here?”

“I assume that’s why I’m allowed behind the register.”

Coran chuckled and nodded. “Of course. Of course.”

“It’s good to see you again Keith.” Said the woman.

Keith gave her a confused look. “Do I know you?”

She let out a slightly nervous laugh. “Um… Well, I guess you probably wouldn’t remember me or you might have blocked me out… I was your CPS worker.”

“... Oh yeah. Allura, right?” Keith remembered her now. The school had called CPS on him because Keith literally fell asleep at the top of the stairs and fell down them in his first year of highschool. Yeah, Keith had banged himself up a lot beforehand, but when he fell down the stairs it must have been the straw that broke the camel's back for some teacher and they called CPS. It was a huge mess for a few weeks while it all got sorted out.

Adam and Shiro were in the process of moving into a single story house to avoid the stairs problem again. There were many trips to the doctor’s office and there was a huge fear that Keith might be taken away from them. Allura was a huge help when it came to letting him stay with Shiro and Adam.

Then about two years later CPS got called again because Keith decided to fall through a screen door… onto a glass coffee table. It was a really bloody scene. Allura once again vouched for them and helped clear things up.

“Yes. I’m glad to see you’re doing well.” Said Allura.

“Yeah… I’m still thankful for everything you did for me.”

She shook her head. “Think nothing of it. Your case was one of the tamer ones. Kind of surprising, but rather tame.”

“That’s good.” Keith started scanning their items. 

“How are Adam and Shiro?” She asked.

Keith shrugged. “Shiro was honorably discharged from the army. He um… He needs a lot of help readjusting… He kind of lost an arm…”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Said Allura.

Keith shrugged again. “It is what it is. Adam’s more than happy to help him until he needs to go back to work. Things are going to be a little weird for a while, but we’ll manage. We always do. So… How do you two know each other?”

Coran grinned. “Allura here is my goddaughter.”

“That’s right.” Said Allura. “Though, Coran has always been more of an uncle to me.”

“That’s nice.” Keith quickly bagged their items and Coran paid by card. “Have a good evening.”

“You too lad.” Said Coran.

“Say hello to Adam and Shiro for me.” Said Allura.

“Will do.” Said Keith. He waved at them and sighed once they were gone. He wouldn’t see them until tomorrow. 

He also needed to start that science assignment. He was just lucky that he managed to get partnered up with the smartest kid in class. He was pretty sure that the teacher did that on purpose because whenever he got paired up with anyone for any assignment his partner would always beg to join another group or do it alone. He still didn’t understand why people didn’t like him, but he was too tired to argue and would just do it himself.

He remembered Adam saying it was weird how Keith never seemed to have any group projects. Keith just shrugged it off and went about doing his own work. He had told teachers that he didn’t think it was fair that other students should be paired with him because his sleep schedule was so broken he didn’t want to affect anyone else’s grades. They agreed but only if their partner agreed to not be their partner. To this day he had never done a group assignment.

It was a little depressing to think about, but Keith was used to it. In fact, he couldn’t think about it. He had things to do. He had a plan; get good grades, either get into a good university or a good community college. After that he would get a decent job, have his own place and everything would be fine. He’d be happy, Shiro and Adam would be happy. Everything would be fine. He just needed to keep doing what he was doing. He’d done it most of his life so far.


	189. Darmork (Monsters and Manna AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bumbling fools continue deeper into the underdark and Thundar finds out more about his past... or does he? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Block and Pike managed to find and haggle their way into finding an orc to lead them to a cave that would lead them to the underdark. They easily made it down, though Block had a little difficulty seeing in the dark. Eventually, after many days of travel the group found the city in the underdark known as Darmork. 

Darmork was a city filled with drows, duergar, and mind flayers. Basically all manner of dark and twisted inhabitants lived down there. Everyone was a little hesitant, but they walked into the metaphorical lion’s den. They got strange looks from the inhabitants but no one really talked to them, but they definitely made it look like they were unwelcome.

“So…” Said Block. “Where should we go?”

“Well…” Muttered Valayun. “We should go to the library to look for what you need Block, and we might need to go to the markets to figure out where that troll might be.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” Said Shiro. “Block, Thundar and I will go and find a library. Meklavar, Valayun, Pike, you go and see if you can find any information on the troll. We then meet back up here at the fountain. Sound like a good plan?”

***

Coran cracked his knuckles and grinned. “Alright, who wants to go first? Meklavar’s group, or Block’s group?”

Everyone thought for a moment. Pidge held up a gak and shrugged. “Crowns, Meklavar’s group goes first and claws, Block goes first?”

“Sounds good to me.” Said Hunk.

Pidge passed the gak to Coran, who flipped the gak. “... So Thundar, Shiro, and Block are making their way towards the Darmork library.”

***

The trio stood in front of the library. A large foreboding building made from dark, black stone. Block wasn’t sure if they would even be allowed in there considering that they weren’t actual residents of Darmork. The gnome that looked like he was running the place gave them angry looks, but said nothing.

“Quick question…” Said Thundar. “Does anyone here actually read underdark?”

Block held up a necklace. “I have a rune of reading.”

“Okay…”

“So what do we need?” Asked Shiro. “Books on spells? Charms? Curses?”

“It would probably be curses… Anything about petrification.” Said Block. Shiro and Thundar nodded. They all started to look through different sections of the library to see if they could find anything to help Block save his village.

As they looked, Thunder happened upon a book of family crests. The feel of his talisman around his neck was heavy. He’d just have a quick look inside it and see if there was anything similar to his talisman in there.

He quickly found something written in Elvish. The talisman seemed to be from the house of Makrabork. A very well established and powerful drow clan in this part of the underdark. They kept the gold flowing in the underdark. He wondered if he could possibly find the house of Makrabork.

Thundar went to join the others and was happy to find that Block had found a way to break the curse. “There is only one catch though…” Said Block. “I need a large emerald to amplify the spell…”

“So we need to get Meklavar’s heirloom?” Asked Shiro.

“It looks that way.” Said Block.

Shiro nodded. “Alright. Sounds good. Copy down the cure to the curse and we’ll head back to the fountain and meet up with everyone else.”

***

“Wow…” Said Hunk. “I can’t believe nothing went wrong? I might actually save my village.”

Lance grinned and high fived him. “Heck yeah Hunkinator.”

Coran grinned and twirled his moustache. “Well you boys did roll rather well on investigation. Good job. Now, shall we switch over to Meklavar’s party?” Everyone nodded in agreement and Coran cracked his knuckles. “Alright, so you are going to the markets, correct?”

“That’s right.” Said Pidge.

Coran nodded and put on his Game Master voice again. “You enter the markets, many people are looking at you. You’re strangers in their city of course. They don’t get many people from the topside… What do you do?”

“I want to see if I can find any stalls selling gems.” Said Lance.

“Roll for investigation.”

“... 17?”

“Pike immediately finds a stall selling gemstones and informs the rest of the party…”

***

“Hmm, how about we start there?” Asked Pike. He gestured to a large stall decked out with hundreds of shiny stones. A duergar dwarf was sitting behind the stall, giving them the side eye.

With a smile on her face and a spring in her step, Valayun happily walked up to them. “Hello good sir. My name is Valayun. I am very happy to see you on this fine day in the underdark and-”

“What do you want?” Barked the duergar in a rude manner.

Valayun was taken aback a little. “Well we are looking for your supplier.”

“My what? You trying to cut me out? Cut out the middleman? Piss off! I ain’t selling you anything you weird looking wood elf!”

Pike casually slipped over and laughed. “Hey, don’t mind her. She’s a little strange around the much more noble duergar dwarf race.” Meklavar glared up at Pike and stomped on his foot. Pike flinched a little. “What Valayun meant to say was that… We are looking for a very specific gem dealer. He may or may not owe someone something…”

The duergar eyed him suspiciously. “Well… There are a few dealers in the area… You’re gonna need to be more specific.”

“A troll.” Said Meklavar.

“Hmm? A troll?” They hummed and stroked their beard. “Yes, I know about them… You’re going to have to talk to the Makrabork’s about it.”

Pike raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

The duergar scoffed. “The Makrabork’s are the most influential drow in the underdark… You probably aren’t going to be able to come in and just have a meeting with them. They are rather… stabby when they are slighted…” He chuckled. “Though it would be interesting to see you lot try and get slaughtered by a bunch of angry drow. Entertainment down here is few and far between you know.”

“Thanks for your assistance.” Siad Valayun.

“So you gonna buy anything or what?” They asked.

Pike pointed to a red stone. “How much is this?”

“Three gold.”

“Three gold?! For that tiny thing?!”

“Buy it or piss off.”

“...” Pike grumbled and paid the man the gold and quickly snatched up the stone. 

The trio walked back to the fountain and were surprised to see the other group was already there. Everyone quickly discussed what they had found out and what they needed to do. It was pretty easy. They were going to figure out where the Makrabork’s house was and then they would figure out how to interact with them without getting possibly stabbed.

As they did so, Pike took Thundar aside and showed him the stone. “Um… Here.” He said. “I thought you might be able to make it into a ring or something?”

Thundar was surprised, but he took it. “Oh wow… You know, you don’t have to give me these things… I don’t have much use for them.”

“Yeah, but I like giving you things!” Whined Pike. “I like getting you pretty things so you can look even more amazing than you already are!”

Thundar blushed a little and put the stone in his coin pouch. “Thank you… I’ll figure out something to do with it.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah… Hey Pike?”

“Yeah?” 

“... You know how I’m a half-elf?”

“Yeah?”

“... I think I might be half-drow... Or at least one of my parents might have killed a drow.”

“Oh…”

Shiro walked over to them. “Are you guys okay?”

“We’re fine.” Said Thundar. “What’s happening?”

“Valayun found a tavern; the smashed skull.” Said Shiro. “We’re going to go there to talk things over and see if we can find any more information.”

***

“And that is where we will leave the session today.” Said Coran. “Good work everyone. But it’s a varga past the designated bedtime. You humans need at least eight varga’s of sleep to be functioning at your best.”

The humans on the ship groaned in annoyance, but reluctantly packed their things. It was a good place to end things, but at the same time they wanted to keep going. Then again, that was always the way, wasn’t it?”


	190. Waterfall (Witch AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is making new friends! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was busy doing his wicche duties, so Lance was free to swim around in the river like he did every day. He had been given a lot of work, so Lance was going to swim down the river as far as he felt like it. He liked rivers. They were very straightforward compared to the ocean. Not much deviation.

When Lance got caught up in some faster moving water he didn’t bat an eye. It reminded him of the waves he used to ride during typhoons. He and his siblings loved surfing those waves, even if his mama bellowed at them to knock it off. However, Lance didn’t know that waterfalls were a thing. 

So he shot out through the air, and landed with the most spectacular splash into the water below. The waterfall wasn’t very tall, but damn it still hurt like a bitch. Lance crawled up onto land and groaned loudly. He felt like he got punted into the air by a blue whale again. Those guys could be dicks when they wanted.

Sitting just a few feet away from him was a large looking man that kind of looked like he had some thick scales on his face and arms. They looked just as confused as Lance. They looked like they might have been fishing.

“Um… Well… You seem a little lost there buddy.” They said.

Lance sat up and pulled off his seal skin, shocking the man there even more. “Yeah, I guess I am. Anyway, hi. I’m Lance. I’m a selkie. What about you? You don’t look exactly human.”

“Oh, I’m Hunk. I’m a troll.” Said Hunk. “Aren’t selkies meant to be living in the sea?”

“Yeah, but I’m a familiar to a wicche.” Said Lance. “I’ve never seen a troll before…”

“To be fair I haven’t seen a selkie before either.”

“Hmm, fair.” Lance stood up and tied his seal skin around his hips. “So what are you doing here?”

“Just a bit of fishing.” He showed Lance his bucket. “Got some nice bass today.”

“Bass is so good…”

“Yeah. Want one?”

“... Yes please.”

Hunk handed Lance a fish, and Lance happily sat next to him to eat it. Fish was really, really good. Lance still liked it more than chicken. The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes as Hunk fished and Lance ate. 

When Lance was pretty much done eating he looked back over at Hunk. “So… You live near here?”

“Yeah, there’s a small clan of us a little closer to the mountain.” Said Hunk. “I just came out here to fish. We don’t really get along with humans too much, so we try not to go to their villages unless we really have to. Humans tend to be a little… violent to trolls.”

“Humans aren’t that much nicer to selkie’s either… But Keith is really, really nice. He’s my master. He’s a fire wicche.” Said Lance. “He’s a little shorter than me and has like, really thick black hair. It’s kind of long. I want to brush it, but I doubt he will let me. He does all these really cool things with his fire magic. It’s so cool! He uses manna to give weapons special powers and stuff and I like it. He gave me this piece of metal that he practiced on that has like, fire manna in it. It’s so cool. It can’t cut or anything though… Still cool.”

Hunk chuckled and drew in his line. “Sounds like you really like that wicche.”

“Yeah, he’s awesome...” Lance sighed a little as he stared across the river. “My mama and papa are still kind of iffy about him, but I still love being his familiar. I think they are just worried that Keith will burn my seal skin and I’d be stuck on land forever… But I want to be here and Keith has given me lots of outs if I don’t want to be with him.”

Hunk hummed a little. “Yeah, reminds me a little of when I first started dating Shay… I was so shocked she wanted to be with me that I gave her every opportunity to leave.”

“Oh? What happened?”

“Well Shay and I are still together. So pretty well I think.”

Lance grinned. “That’s good. Oh! By the way, I live up river if you ever want to visit.”

“Oh… Um… You don’t live too close to the village do you?”

“No, our house is on a small hill by the river. It’s away from the village. Keith might be a little surprised to see you, but I don’t think he would be upset.” Said Lance. “... I might have to talk to him about it though… Anyway, Keith hasn’t said anything bad about trolls or any other magical creatures… Unless he’s mad that he ran out of an ingredient… That’s a whole different story.”

Hunk laughed a little at that and grinned. “Yeah. Sounds about right.” He stood up and dusted himself off. “Well, I should start heading back home now. Do you need help getting back up the waterfall?”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Okay. Can you be a little more… aerodynamic?”

“Like this?” Lance pulled his skin back on and looked up at him.

“Yeah, that will do.” Hunk picked Lance up and launched Lance through the air like a javelin back up the river.

Lance landed in the water with a plop and swam back up the river. Lance was excited to head home and tell Keith about the new friend he had just made. When he got back home, Lance wasn’t surprised to see that Keith was still inside working. Lance went inside and sat in his little nesting space.

He wondered how land creatures got mates. Sure Keith had said that humans give each other gifts and food, but Lance didn’t know where to start. Keith looked like he liked practical things. Maybe farming things? That would be… interesting? He’s seen farmers with things that looked like giant forks. Maybe Keith would like one of those? They looked so cool. Maybe something more pointy? Another knife? A cool knife? He could ask Kolivan for a cool knife.

Keith suddenly sighed loudly and leaned back in his chair. He looked like he was done for the day. “Fuck… My hands hurt…”

“Hand massage?” Suggested Lance.

“I feel like your idea of a massage is just slapping it.”

“And?”

Keith chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Whatever… Anyway, how was your day?”

“My day was fun!” Said Lance. He happily slapped his hands on the ground. “I went swimming! I ate some tasty fish! I swam off a waterfall and I met a troll! His name is Hunk and he gave me a fish! Then he threw me back up the waterfall!”

Keith looked shocked. “You met a troll?”

“Yeah. Why? Are they bad?”

He shook his head. “Well, no… But they are a little… Well trolls don’t really get along with humans that much…”

“But Hunk is nice.”

“Hey, I’m not saying he isn’t nice. If he’s nice to you then I don’t mind if you have him as a friend.” Said Keith. He got up and started to grab some things to make a quick snack for himself. By the look of it, it seemed like he was eating a slice of crusty bread with a generous helping of lard. Left over from Keith’s soap making days earlier.

“Okay. Cool. So I still don’t know why you eat that. You said it was for soap?”

“Yeah, well… lard is good.” Said Keith. “Plus it’s an easier spread than butter. Butter is nice, but it melts way too quickly and spoils too fast. Lard keeps longer.”

“Hmmm, it’s funky.”

“Your breath is funky.”

Lance gasped in fake shock. “Rude?!”

Keith rolled his eyes and cut another slice of bread off from the loaf and smeared more lard on it. “Want to try some?”

“Hmm no.”

Keith shrugged and ate it. “Suit yourself. More for me.”

“Hmm… Yeah…”

“Yeah… I got a letter from Shiro today.”

“Yeah?”

“He wants to have us over for dinner tomorrow.”

Lance whined and flopped onto his side. “I don’t wanna go! I hate stairs! Why does his place have so many stairs?”

“... You are lazy.”

“And?”

Keith rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly at him. “You’re dumb. So tell me more about this troll that you met? Hunk, right?”

“Yeah! Hunk is really, really cool! He was fishing with a pole.” Said Lance. “Totally ineffective. Swimming and chomping on them is much better… Though nets get more fish… My papa is the best at catching fish.”

“I’m sure he is.” Keith went about getting pots and pans together to make stew or something for his dinner. Keith seemed to like to just like shoving everything in a pot and sticking it in his fireplace. Seemed a little lazy, but as long as Keith liked it, then that was enough for Lance. As he talked, Lance watched Keith cook. Maybe one day Lance could make soup for Keith? A variation of the tasty fish soup his papa made.


	191. Mortis (Hellpoint AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so these three different things kind of happen all at once, but like, everyone split up in the previous part of this AU. I am ready for your screaming and pitchforks by the end of this chapter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Surprisingly it was easy to get to the library. Shiro and Allura didn’t run into anyone hostile, though they did find a few interesting markings on the walls. Shiro was pretty sure that they were some kind of claw marks. It was very, very odd.

“What do you think happened here?” He asked.

“I am not sure…” Said Allura. “This place is kind of… I can see old Altean architecture, all over the place, but some of it is so modern… Some of it I haven’t even seen before. It’s so strange… I don’t understand how or why the Altaxons ended up here… I just… This is so strange…” She pointed to a statue near the entrance of the library that looked like an Altean, though in Shiro’s opinion they looked kind of like an elf. 

Yeah, he could see that they looked Altean, but they kind of looked more like high fantasy elves to him… with facial tattoos. Though it could have just been more of an artistic interpretation. He wasn’t sure. Allura seemed a little off about all this.

“Are you okay Allura?”

“I… I’m not sure.” She said quietly, “I mean… The Altaxons are still Alteans but they vanished… I have no idea what to think… Maybe if we can save this station and find out what happened to them? I really want to know.

They paused for a moment and looked out at the cityscape from the library. It was strange really. The whole place had a strange bluish-green glow to it. It was strange looking. Allura cleared her throat and gestured for Shiro to follow her into the library.

Everything seemed to be covered with a thin film of dust. They quickly found a center console that seemed to be working. Like Null said. Allura got onto the console while Shiro looked around the room. He was still just a little paranoid that something might be there in the shadows.

“Hello? Null? Can you hear us?”

There was a slight crackle and Null’s voice came back on. _“Hey, you made it. Nice to hear your voice again.”_

“It’s nice to hear you too.” Said Allura. “We have sent the team out to fix the shield and the internal comm’s system.”

 _“Yeah, I can see that. I have a live feed.”_ Said Null. _“The yellow and green one are down in the engine room for this section, which is thankfully where the problem is. The red and blue one are pretty close to the cable they need to plug back in.”_

“Well that’s good…” Allura slowly swallowed and looked kind of nervous. “Null, can you please tell me what happened? Where is everyone? How did the Altaxons even leave Altea?”

Null chuckled. _“So many questions… Well, us Altaxons were always more religious than the Alteans… Eh, the abridged version is that we found some interesting writings and decided to get closer to the gods… Which apparently means being in the gravitational field of a blackhole. Yeah… Plus you know, we were more advanced than you guys anyway.”_

“Where is everyone?” Asked Shiro.

_“Eh… You know how some people always end up going a little nuts after living for way beyond their years? Well… Okay, I admit, this mess is kind of my fault. Cyborgs and all that… Anyway, eventually people converted themselves into cybirds, lost the ability to reproduce, our number dwindled, and then our parts started to break down so now… Yeah. The mighty, and powerful Altaxon’s are now fucked… Yeah. Nothing much else to say about that.”_

Allura looked heart broken. “So you all just died out? There are no more of you on this ship?”

_“Well… It all kind of depends… We talking 100% Altaxon, 50% Altaxon? Altaxon in genetics alone?”_

“What are you talking about?” Asked Allura.

Suddenly the comms crackled in Shiro’s helmet and Lance’s voice came through. _“We got the internal comms back up and running.”_

“Great work Lance.” Said Shiro. “Pidge, Hunk, are you two done yet?”

 _“Yeah.”_ Said Pidge. _“... and it’s done. Shields are back up and running. We aren’t going to get sucked into a blackhole today.”_

“Perfect. All of you, make your way to the library.” He looked over at Allura and smiled at her. “Looks like this has been a success so far.”

 _“Good job.”_ Said Null. _“I can see that the comms are back and the shields are up on my monitors. Your people did a good job. I must say I… Oh… That is…”_

“Did you see something?” Asked Allura.

_“Um… Well… Eh, they should be fine. Yeah. Don’t worry about it… Your paladins are used to near death experiences right? You guys did listen to Mimi and hit the checkpoints, right?”_

“Why is that so important?” Asked Shiro.

Null let out a long, slow sigh. _“... Oh boy. Okay… This is… Um… So tell me, how advanced is your health care system? Like, I can see one of you has a robotic arm so it’s pretty advanced… But you guys can grow back... say… a missing leg? Internal organs?”_

***

Pidge and Hunk made it down to the engine room. They remarked a few times that the internal workings of the station seemed to be very similar to the castle ship. It gave them both a boost of confidence that they could quickly find and fix whatever the problem was.

They must have passed some sensor because a hologram of Mimi appeared again. It made both paladin’s jump in shock and Hunk let out a small yelp.

 _“Welcome to the section 3-C shield maintenance room.”_ She said. _“Before you proceed it is protocol to hit the checkpoint. Failure to do so is against the law and can result in rather harsh punishment. If you have any further inquiries, please ask me and I shall ask to the best of my programming.”_

The two paladin’s kind of stood there, stunned for a moment before Hunk cleared his throat. “Um… Where is the nearest checkpoint?”

_“The nearest functional checkpoint is on the wall directly across from me. Please use it as soon as possible. We must keep a log of who enters the most fragile and delicate parts of section 3-C.”_

Pidge frowned a little and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, alright… Can you tell us where the shield system is so we can reboot it? It’s meant to be its own closed system.” 

Mimi’s hologram vanished and a map appeared instead. It showed a path from where they were in a 3D man to a different spot. _“It is just a short walk over the bridge. Please keep all limbs inside the bridge at all times as there are many turbines below. The work station you need to access is right in front of the trans-reality comet fragment.”_

Both Hunk and Pidge almost froze at that statement. “Excuse me? You have a what now?!”

Mimi’s hologram came back, all happy and smiling brightly. _“The Altaxon’s use a trans-reality comet to keep the Acolyte station in place. In all intents and purposes, the Altaxon’s have amplified the properties of the comet to create a field where the Acolyte is technically stuck between several realities but present in all. They split it into five fragments which made it easier to amplify the field.”_

“How did the Altaxon’s even get a trans-reality comet in the first place?” Asked Hunk.

 _“It was a gift from the Ancient ones.”_ Said Mimi. _“All glory and praise to them for granting the Altaxon’s such a precious gift.”_

“... Wow. I can’t believe that they have a trans-reality comet…” Muttered Pidge.

“Same…” Said Hunk as he walked over to the checkpoint to get scanned. “But it is a comet. It could have possibly landed in Altax?”

“I guess…” Pidge also got scanned by the checkpoint and the two of them continued deeper into the bowls of the station. 

The first sign that the two of them weren’t alone was when they found an odd looking robot on the ground. It was slumped over and covered in thick cables. Pidge crouched down to have a closer look at it. The metal seemed a little rusty and kind of old.

“Huh… Looks a little archaic?” She muttered. Pidge tilted the head of the robot back and the two of them gasped in shock. It wasn’t a robot. It was more like an exoskeleton, and there was a mummified body inside it. A few cables and wires were stuffed down their throat and in the eye sockets of this person.

“What the heck?” Asked Hunk. “That’s really… That looks painful…”

“Yeah… This isn’t… Okay, that’s pretty creepy…” The station shuddered slightly and the two of them continued to the work station they needed to get to. There were a few more of those strange exoskeleton things around. Some with mummified bodies in them, some empty. They all looked like they just dropped dead.

Pidge didn’t want to speculate, but maybe there was some electrical surge? Her suit hadn’t detected any diseases. Hunk pointed out a poster that showed an Altaxon wearing the exoskeleton in some kind of work related poster. Maybe these were meant for engineers or something?

They found the trans-reality comment fragment floating in a large tube. The two of them quickly went about seeing how they could reboot the system. Hunk ducked under the station and moved some wires around. The screen flickered to life and Pidge quickly got to work.

The system was a little difficult to work, but Pidge managed to figure it out. She grinned and started the reboot procedure. She happily stood back as she watched the bar quickly creep across the screen.

Suddenly the comms crackled in Pidge’s helmet and Lance’s voice came through. _“We got the internal comms back up and running.”_

_“Great work Lance.” _Said Shiro. _“Pidge, Hunk, are you two done yet?”___

__“Yeah.” Said Pidge. She checked the screen as the loading bar quickly crawled until it hit 100%. There was a slight whirring and humming as the shields came back fully online. “... and it’s done. Shields are back up and running. We aren’t going to get sucked into a blackhole today.”_ _

___“Perfect. All of you, make your way to the library.”_ Said Shiro._ _

__Hunk and Pidge quickly high fived and started to make their way back. “Think we should have mentioned the um… the dead people we found?”_ _

__Pidge shrugged. “Maybe? We’ll let them know when we get to the library.”_ _

__They walked for a few minutes before Hunk paused. “Wait, wasn’t there an exoskeleton thing here? I swear there was one right here…” He nervously took out his bayard. “Am I being paranoid?”_ _

__Pidge looked over at the spot. There seemed to be a rusty, scratched up spot, but they couldn’t tell if there was anything there before. “Maybe you’re being a little paranoid? We are kind of on a ghost ship kind of thing… Even if there are technically a few living things on here…”_ _

__“I guess, but- LOOK OUT!”_ _

__Pidge looked over at Hunk in confusion. She suddenly felt something like fine hale running across her neck. She fell over, hitting the ground hard. Hunk looked absolutely horrified and started shooting at something. Pidge was a little confused and tried to get up to see what was going on, but quickly found that she couldn’t move her body._ _

__She looked around in her paralyzed state to try and figure out where she was and what was going on with herself in relation to what was around her. It didn’t take Pidge too long to see the headless body of someone in a very familiar paladin armor. Her paladin armor. Pidge realized as her vision faded to black that she had been decapitated._ _

__***_ _

__Keith felt like maybe some of Lance’s paranoid was starting to rub off on him. Some of the flickering lights made it look like there were people moving in the buildings. It was really unsettling. He really wished that there were more Galra around. Even the robots would make him feel more comfortable now._ _

__They got to a fountain area where the fountain was broken and cracked. “Damn…” Muttered Lance. “This place might have looked nice before whatever happened, you know… happened…”_ _

__“Yeah… How exactly are we meant to find the cable?”_ _

__“... Good point.”_ _

__Suddenly a Mimi hologram appeared by the fountain. _“Welcome to downtown Demortis. The thriving metropolis of the middle class on the Acolyte. Please keep the streets clean and enjoy your stay.”__ _

__“Maybe we can ask Mimi for directions?” Asked Lance._ _

__“... How would Mimi even know where we need to go?”_ _

__Lance shrugged. “Never know if you don’t ask.”_ _

__Keith rolled his eyes. Lance was cute, but he was kind of dumb sometimes… Not that Keith thought that Lance was cute or anything… Okay, he was kind of cute, but it was no time to think about that, they had the mission to think about._ _

__“Hey Mimi? Do you know where the unplugged cable is?” Asked Lance._ _

___“... There is an unplugged cable right here.”_ A map appeared and showed where the cable was. Lance had a smug look on his face. Keith just rolled his eyes and they started to walk down to where the cable was meant to be._ _

__Lance stayed close behind him with his gun out. That just made Keith paranoid and he himself drew his own bayard. It was… Unsettling. Maybe there were ghosts in this station, or maybe even some kind of glitch like what happened on the castle ship? If that was the case then they were probably screwed._ _

__Suddenly Lance let off a shot which made Keith turn around. “S-sorry!” Said Lance quickly. “I totally thought I saw something slithering around the corner!”_ _

__“Seriously Lance?”_ _

__“I said I was sorry…” Muttered Lance. Abandoned places worry me…”_ _

__There were no more incidents as the two found the cable. Keith plugged it back in and a tower a block away quickly buzzed to life. With the comms up and running again the two of them just had to find that alien. Fewbar? Keith was terrible at names._ _

__Lance grinned and happily jumped onto the comms. “We got the internal comms back up and running.”_ _

___“Great work Lance.”_ Said Shiro. _“Pidge, Hunk, are you two done yet?”__ _

___“Yeah.”_ Said Pidge. _“... and it’s done. Shields are back up and running. We aren’t going to get sucked into a blackhole today.”__ _

___“Perfect. All of you, make your way to the library.”_ _ _

__Lance grinned at Keith. “Hey, we did it. Just gotta see if we can find that alien on the way there Yeah?”_ _

__“Yeah. Sounds about right.”_ _

__“... You could be more enthusiastic.”_ _

__“What? We only completed half the mission.” Informed Keith._ _

__Lance pouted. “... Spoil sport.”_ _

__The two of them walked down a few winding streets as they followed the map to the library. Along the way they heard something strange. It was different from the buzzing and metal groaning from the rest of the station. It sounded more organic._ _

__The two of them looked around a corner and froze at what they saw. The best way they could describe it was a fleshy amalgamation of twisted metal, arms, mouths and legs… It was extremely fucked up. Did it even have eyes? It looked kind of purple? Some of the parts kind of looked Galra… But what the hell was it eating? Maybe this was some kind of alien? Sure it was gross, but it probably was an alien of some kind._ _

__Lance tapped Keith on the shoulder and gestured that they try and walk around it. Leaving it alone for now. Keith agreed and the two of them tried to sneak around it. However, that thing must have been able to see them, or sense movement, because it saw them walking past the entrance way. It let out a garbled shriek of pain in absolute agony. It made a strangled noise and spat out a plasma ball at them._ _

__“Fuck!” Snapped Keith. “Cover me Lance.”_ _

__“Right.”_ _

__Keith quickly raised his shield and ran towards the thing as fast as he could . The thing rapidly spat a few dozen more plasma balls out at him. Keith quickly dodged and blocked the attacks as he got closer. He ducked when he got close enough for one of the limbs of that thing tried to swipe out and grab him. Keith stabbed it a few times and cut off chunks of it. Keith wasn’t too sure where he was meant to stab at it to kill it, so he just had to keep hitting it until it stopped moving._ _

__Thankfully the thing went down pretty quickly despite its side and made a wailing noise like a deflating balloon as it eventually flopped over dead. Keith took a few seconds to breathe before he realised something about that fight… Lance didn’t fire a single shot..._ _

__Keith growled in annoyance and quickly turned around. “Damn it Lance! Why didn’t you… cover… me?” One of the creature’s stray shots, that Keith managed to dodge, had hit Lance. His body had been ripped completely in half. His torso was several feet away from where legs were. “LANCE!”_ _

__Keith ran over to him. By some miracle, Lance was still alive, but only just barely hanging on. He tried to talk but blood just bubbled out of his throat. Keith was shaking. What was he meant to do? They couldn’t get to a healing pod. Could a healing pod even fix this? Lance had been completely ripped in half._ _

__“I… I’m so sorry Lance…” He said. “Y-you have to hang on. You can do this.” He knew it was futile to say something like that, but he had to. He couldn’t say anything. “Please Lance… you…” Whatever bit of life was left inside Lance’s blue eyes had finally faded. Lance McClain, was dead._ _

__***_ _

__Several feet away from the bloody tragedies, the checkpoint machines whirled to life and Mimi’s hologram manifested once again. _“Thank you for using the checkpoint system.”_ She said as a laser scanner started to quickly reconstruct biological material in front of the checkpoint. _“Please remember to hit each checkpoint you come across and avoid what harmed you in the last time. Enjoy the rest of your stay on the Acolyte space station.”_  
._ _


	192. Shapeshift (X-men AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith over heard Lance's old man talking bad about mutants... But Krolia is here. So that's something. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith had heard what Lance’s dad already said about him. His hearing was much better than the average human. He knew he was hurting the McClain family and didn’t know how to fix things. He probably couldn’t fix things. He was planning to go to bed early and sneak down to the kitchen later to grab something to eat when everyone else was asleep.

So he was very surprised when Lance came up to the room with two servings of food. He said he didn’t feel like eating with the family that night, but Keith knew that this was because he was the problem. He just smiled and ate dinner with Lance, doing his best to pretend that everything was okay.

It made him feel like shit. He could tell that Lance wasn’t very happy either. He wanted to hide away for a bit, like he would back at the school. He wanted to escape and pretend that everything was okay… Even though he knew it wasn’t.

When they went to bed, Keith felt anxious. So when he felt that Lance was actually asleep and the house was quiet, Keith slipped out of the house and headed down to the M.Y.R.C. It was closed for the evening since it was so late, but he could still walk around the outside basketball court for a while. 

He could still see a light on in the building, someone was probably still working. There was a car in the parking lot, so someone had to be there. He just shrugged and walked around the court. He wished he had brought a ball with him. It might have helped him figure out what was going on in his head and figure out a new plan. Maybe he should just leave? He felt like shit for upsetting the family dynamic.

The door to the place and someone walked out. They looked like a woman or something. Keith watched them as they started to walk to the car before they suddenly stopped and looked over at him. They paused for a moment before they started to walk towards him.

“Hello?” Called the woman. “Do you need help?”

“I’m fine…” Said Keith. “Just… Hanging out and stuff. That’s all.”

“... Do you need help?” She asked as she got closer. If it wasn’t for her purple skin, pointed ears, and yellow eyes, she might pass as human.

“No I’m fine… Do you work here?” He asked.

She nodded and held out her hand. “Krolia… Are you Keith?”

“Yeah, I’m Keith.” He shook her hand. She felt warm. 

“Kolivan told me about you.” She said. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Keith nervously swished his tail around his ankles as he looked up at her. “So um… He told me about you?”

“Yeah. He did.” She said. “I have seen you around a few times. You are staying with that boy, Lance, correct?”

“Yeah, so what are you meant to be?” Asked Keith. “Like, your mutation and stuff?” She smiled a little as her skin shimmered and her form changed until Keith was looking at himself. Keith jumped in shock and looked at her. “Huh… Shapeshifting?”

“Yes.” Krolia said in Keith’s voice. It was kind of unnerving. “It’s interesting being able to change like this, but it’s whatever. The only thing I can’t really copy when I change is another mutant’s powers.”

“Huh… Interesting.”

“Yeah.” Krolia changed back. “So, why are you here? Did something happen at your friend’s house?”

“... My friend’s dad… He um… He’s in denial that Lance is a mutant and I’m just a reminder that mutants are a thing and well… While I don’t think he will try and hurt me, I just don’t feel safe there…”

“Would you feel safer staying in the building tonight?”

“You’re going home. I don’t want to make you stay here longer than you have to.”

She shrugged. “It’s fine. If you need help I’m happy to do so. We all have to stick together.”

“Yeah, I guess…” 

She walked back over to the building with Keith following her. They went inside and Krolia took him to the kitchen. She made him a hot chocolate with almond milk, and the two of them sat down at the table. 

Keith awkwardly cleared his throat. “So um… Heard that you guys were kind of turned? Like you, Kolivan, and all the rest used to be normal humans but...”

“Haggar is a horrible creature.” Said Krolia. “Not even a mutant. She is a monster… She did awful things to us just for fun…” She pulled a face as she drank her own drink. “I was eight weeks pregnant when we were caught by Haggar… I didn’t even know I was pregnant until they found it during some body scan thing. In a way I was thankful I was. It gave the others time to plan an escape.”

Keith was surprised to hear that. “What happened to the baby? If you don’t mind me asking…”

“It’s fine. We managed to escape when I was six months pregnant. Close to seven months.” Said Krolia. “We got to a safe house and stayed there for a few months while we tried to figure out what to do. My son was born and I gave him up for adoption.”

“... Why?”

“Because at the time we were all scared that Haggar was going to find us, and we were scared of our mutations.” Said Krolia. “If one of us lost control and killed my baby no one would ever be able to live with ourselves. We have a very strong code when it comes to children… I gave up my son to make sure we wouldn’t hurt him and so that Haggar couldn’t find him if she decided to try and find him. I couldn’t know where he went in case she had mind readers on her side and she catches me again.”

“... And the father?”

She shrugged. “He was my boyfriend at the time and he… He didn’t care that I was a mutant, but he was horrified that I gave away our child. We broke up and after a few months he reached out again. We are on friendly terms and he understood why I did what I did… but it took a while.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is. He lives in a different state and we just talk via social media… Anyway, what is your family status?”

“Orphan.”

“Oh.”

Keith shrugged. “Yeah. I don’t hate my parents or anything for what they did. I know I don’t pass as a normal human at all. Maybe I just didn’t fit their view of what a child should be? Kind of wish I got adopted by someone at some point… But it’s whatever. Some people just can’t handle raising a mutant child.”

“Perhaps? You never know. I’m glad you are mature enough to put that all behind you.”

“Yeah…” He took out his phone and looked at it, wondering if he should tell Lance where he went. He was still sleeping, so probably no need at the moment. Maybe he should tell Shiro he wanted to go back to the school?

“... Do you want to come home with me tonight?”

“Hmm?”

“My place is nicer than here. Also, it has better hot chocolate.”

Keith thought about it for a moment and reluctantly agreed. He followed her out to her car and let her drive him to her place. It was a small apartment and Keith was happy enough to crash on the couch. It was surprising, but for the first time in a long time, Keith actually felt safe.

***

Lance was furious when he woke up. Keith had sent him a message that he was already at the M.Y.R.C and would probably be there all day. He also mentioned he spent the night at a woman’s place called Krolia, who worked there. Keith had to have heard what his papa had said. He just didn’t really understand why he was acting like this. His papa had always been so open about things before, but no. Not this.

He angrily stabbed at his eggs and would glance up at the man a few times. The looks didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the family, but they all seemed to ignore it. Which just made Lance angry. He quickly finished eating and got up.

“Well I’m going out.” He said.

“Where are you going?” Asked his mama.

“I’m going to the M.Y.R.C.” 

“No you’re not.” Said his papa.

That made everyone freeze up in shock. “Why not?” Asked Lance through gritted teeth. “I am meeting Keith there. He snuck out last night because of what you said last night.”

“Oh, so now he’s listening in on private conversations?”

“HE CAN’T HELP IT!” Snapped Lance. “Why the fuck can’t you just accept that we are mutants?”

“Don’t you swear at me!” Snapped his papa.

“I WILL FUCKING SWEAR!” Snapped Lance. “AM I NOT MUTANT ENOUGH FOR YOU?!” He threw his knife and fork into the kitchen. They handed right in the sink. “HOW ABOUT NOW?!” He threw his plate like a frisbee into the kitchen, it landed in the sink and shattered. “HOW ABOUT NOW?!” He grabbed a few more things off the table and threw them into the kitchen. Everything landed in the sink. “FUCK YOU!” He stormed off to his room, grabbed some of his stuff and left while his family was in shock.

Lance was so pissed off. It was like his papa had never been a victim of racism. Sure, mutants were a race, but holy shit this was ridiculous. It pissed Lance off so much. He went to the M.Y.R.C and quickly found Keith sitting on a couch drinking a soda.

Lance sighed loudly and dropped onto the couch next to him. “Okay, I know you probably had a shitty night, but just let me vent for a second.”

“Umm?”

“I just flipped out at my papa for his mutanist bullshit.” Said Lance. “I probably broke a bunch of plates and cups and stuff… So my parents are probably mad at me. I’m so sorry you had to hear him being shit last night. You don’t deserve it. You deserve respect. Seriously. I don’t get why people hate mutants so much! Sure, some of us look a little weird, but damn! Who gives a fuck? Like, am I right?”

Keith just looked very confused. “I um…”

Suddenly Keith walked into the room eating some jerky. He seemed surprised and Lance was just confused. “Um… What?”

The Keith eating the jerky rolled his eyes. “Seriously? You decided to be me again?”

“What can I say? I like cat ears.” Said the Keith sitting next to Lance. Their skin rippled and within seconds there was a rather cute looking older woman sitting next to him. She smiled at him. “Hi. I’m Krolia.”

“Oh, so you’re Korlia.” Lance shook her hand as he quickly looked between her and Keith. They looked… Very similar. “Thanks for looking after Keith. If I’d have known that Keith wanted to leave then I would have gone with him.”

Keith rolled his eyes and ate some more jerky. “Yeah, sure.”

“I mean it.” Said Lance. “My dad is such a dick to you… and I um… I think I fucked things over at the moment. I kind of lost my shit at him…”

Krolia frowned. “Oh? Does he know you’re here?”

“Yeah…”

“Can you give me the make and model of his car?”

“Why?”

“I want to let my team know so that we can keep an eye out for his vehicle.” Said Krolia. “We want to be aware if they are here so that we can keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t try anything here.” 

Lance was a little hesitant, but he gave Krolia what she needed. She then quickly got off the couch and left to presumably talk to Kolivan and the other staff members. Keith took over Krolia’s seat and ate the rest of her jerky.

“... So, you stayed with Krolia for the night?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Her place is kind of small, but it’s nice enough… It made me feel comfortable. Well, the couch was kind of lumpy…”

Lance smiled a little. “Yeah? … You think they will let us stay here for tonight? Or at least me if you have Krolia’s couch?”

That made Keith tilt his head in confusion. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“I really pissed off my dad and scared the rest of my family…” Said Lance quietly. “They probably don’t want me back in the house… Maybe I should just look for tickets so we can go back to the school?”

“But… but that’s your family?” Keith just sounded so confused. “Don’t you want to work things out with your family? I don’t understand…”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know how many more times I can tell him that we are mutants and that’s fine… He’s in denial about me being a mutant. It’s fucking stupid… Would he be in this much denial about me if I had something like autism or down syndrome? I just don’t understand him…”

“I don’t really understand it either…” Said Keith quietly. “Um… I guess we could ask Kolivan? I don’t know…”

“We just need to figure out what to do…”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah… Do you realize that Krolia looks a lot like you?”

“You think so?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah… You think you might be related?”

Keith shrugged. “No idea… Maybe it’s just because we’re both purple?”

“Maybe…” Lance sighed and leaned against the side of the couch. “Fuck… I really screwed up huh?”

“... No.” Keith hesitantly rubbed Lance’s back and spoke in a soft voice. “It’s okay Lance. Whatever happens… We will work through this together, yeah? Mutants gotta stick together?”

“Yeah… Want to play ping pong?”

“Sure. I’ll get a table.” Keith went to get a table while Lance followed him.


	193. Awkward (AtLA AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit more focused on Hunk and Shay at the moment. They deserve some love. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Hunk was happy to be back in his village. They had been there for about a week, and everything was really good. He was able to help his parents with their shop, and when he wasn’t doing that, he was spending time with Shay. Oh Shay, the love of his life… Though he was a little too nervous to say that he liked her that way.

They walked around the village and caught up on the news. It was wonderful. He wanted to ask Shay to come with him when they eventually went to the Eastern Air temple, but he did that every time he came back, and her answer was always the same.

“I’m sorry Hunk… But I need to stay here for my family.” 

“I know.” Said Hunk. “I still want you to come with me… There are so many things out there that you’ll never see here in the village like-” There was a loud screech as a very tiny earthbender got flung into the air by a strong gust of air. There was lots of shouting from Shiro as he tried to catch Pidge. “-like that…”

Shay giggled in amusement. “Well, you certainly have a way of bringing interesting things back to the village.”

“Apparently so… This is the first time I’ve brought a bunch of benders back.”

“Yeah, but you have to admit, it is pretty cool. I haven’t seen any benders besides earthbenders before.” She said. “I mean, the only earthbender I know is my grandma.”

“Is she still going well?”

“She’s as healthy as she can be in her old age.” Said Shay. “But you know, she doesn’t walk around much anymore. She has arthritis in her feet now. She says it also makes bending harder.”

“Ah, okay.” He gently squeezed Shay’s hand. “... Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?”

“To the noodle shop?” She asked.

“Is it still there?”

“Yep.”

“Then the noodle shop it is.”

Shay chuckled a little when he said that. “Sounds like a date to me… I mean, like a friend date… Not like a date-date.”

“Y-yeah! Totally a friend date… Not a date-date.”

“Yeah, because that would mean we would have to like each other.” She said. “Like, like-like each other, and we don’t like-like each other in that way, right?”

“Well, I kind of like you and stuff, but I wouldn’t say it’s like-like as you don’t like-like me and stuff…”

“But I kind of like-like you…”

“... So if we like-like each other then maybe we could make it a date-date?” Asked Hunk hopefully.

Shay blushed and nodded. “Y-yeah! A date-date! Let’s make this a date. Like, an actual date!”

“Y-yeah! Let’s do that!.”

Shay suddenly looked panicked. “I-I have to get ready! Oh my stars I need to scrub the dirt out of my nails! C-come by after dark!” She quickly ran home and Hunk was left standing on the road, stunned. He had a date with Shay. It was a dream come true, but it just felt like a dream.

***

“I am so, so, so sorry!” Said Shiro repeatedly to a very disgruntled Pidge. “I really didn’t think that you would get thrown that high into the air!”

“Seriously?!”

“Yes seriously! You are much lighter than Keith! I usually throw him into the nearest body of water anyway!” Pidge pouted and quickly moved her arms, slinging a ball of dirt into the back of Shiro’s head. “Okay, I deserved that…”

“Yeah, you did… Now if you can stabilize me when I’m up in the air, you could launch me and I could throw some sizable chunks of earth at people…”

“You aren’t mad?”

“I’m honestly more shocked you could fling me so easily.”

Shiro shrugged and looked down at his arm. “I just have some trouble with controlling my force. Since I use it so often I’m pretty strong when it comes to bending.”

“Gonna be the world’s most powerful airbender?”

“Pretty sure that the Avatar holds that title.” He sighed and wiped some of the dirt off the back of his head. He was a very good airbender and had technically mastered most of it, but he did have a little trouble with controlling the air that flowed through his prosthetic arm, which was part of the reason he decided to live a more nomadic life and travel around. He figured that if he traveled he could hone his skills and develop more control in his arm.

Not that he couldn’t say he didn’t have excellent control already. He could move his prosthetic around like it was second nature to him now. He just had some trouble when it came to using any airbending from that arm. At least he was getting better at it.

When they got to the Eastern Air temple he was going to see how Adam was going. The best way he could describe him was like a well disciplined hurricane. Controlled chaos… And by the spirits, Shiro was enamored with him. Sure, Adam might be pissed off at him for just leaving the temple for self improvement. Hell, Adam would probably launch him off the mountain when Shiro showed up with basically four kids.

Pidge sighed loudly and readjusted her headband. “Yeah, anyway… Time for a quick rest, yeah?”

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

“Let’s go and see if we can get a fish from the fishermen at the bay.”

“... I’m a vegetarian.”

“Then we’ll get a fish that only eats seaweed. You’ll be a vegetarian by proxy.”

Shiro shook his head and chuckled. “Really? You are going to say that beef is a vegetarian dish because they eat grass?”

“Now you’re getting it.” 

They ended up walking down to the bay. Pidge did get some fish for herself while Shiro managed to grab some rice balls stuffed with vegetables. Shiro himself bought some extra rice balls with various fillings for Lance and Keith. He knew that Keith wouldn’t really think about food until his stomach was growling like crazy. He wasn’t too sure about Lance, but he wanted to make sure he had food for him too.

It was easy enough for the duo to spot Keith and Lance. They were standing far along the bay, away from everyone else. Plumes of steam filled the air as the two benders were quickly flinging water and fire at each other. A bit away from the two was Hunk. He was laying on his back in the sand.

Pidge walked over to him. “Um, you okay there buddy?”

“I have a date… with Shay… tonight…”

“Oh shit! Congratulation!” Pidge looked over at Lance and Keith. “Hey! Dumb asses! Cut that shit out for a bit!”

“Language.” Warned Shiro.

With some reluctance the two benders stopped and walked over. “Whoa, what happened to Hunk?” Asked Lance.

“He has a date with Shay.” Said Pidge.

“That really tall, short haired farmer girl?” Asked Lance. “The one with the chunky earrings?”

“That’s the one.” Said Pidge.

“Oh shit! That’s awesome!” Lance sat next to him and patted his shoulder. “You gonna take her out somewhere nice?”

“Y-yeah… There’s a noodle play in the village…” Said Hunk. “I… I have no idea what to do… I’ve never gone on a date before… I need advice.”

Lance grinned. “Well you’ve come to the right man. They don’t call me loverboy Lance for nothing.”

“Yeah, sure they do.” Said Keith sarcastically.

Lance pouted and poked Keith in the side. “Excuse me, but I’ll have you know that the dates with me, back in the water tribe, are legendary. Every man and woman alive always has fun with me.”

“Not enough for a second date?” Questioned the firebender.

Lance made a sound that was reminiscent of a screech and a gasp of shock. “And how many dates have you gone on?!”

Before the situation could escalate any further, Shiro quickly offered them some food, and the benders reluctantly ate their food. With them distracted, Shiro decided to try and give him some advice. After all, he was the oldest out of the group of five. He needed to step up and be more of a role model.

“Look, you like Shay, right?” He asked the other man.

Hunk nodded. “Yeah. I’ve probably liked her for as long as I’ve known her.”

“And she likes you too?”

“Well, yeah? I mean, she accepted going on a date with me…”

“That’s good.” Said Shiro calmly. “Look, just treat her how you usually would. You enjoy her company, right? Just clean yourself up a little and make yourself look a little more presentable.”

“... I need to have a bath.” Said Hunk quickly as he got up.

Pidge grabbed his arm. “Whoa, slow down there loverboy. Sait and have lunch with us. You’ll feel a little better when you’ve got some food in you.” Hunk sighed and reluctantly sat down to eat lunch with the rest of them.

***

Later that evening, at the Garret house, Lance and Pidge were helping Hunk with his clothes while Shiro and Keith were looking after the animals. Shiro was releasing small puffs of air into the air to make Rover hover for a few seconds with their wings outstretched. Blue was just snuggled up on Keith’s lap as she looked around and made tiny quacking noises.

He gave the turtleduck a few more pats and she tried to eat his bracelet. Keith just rolled his eyes and let her go at it. It wasn’t like she could actually eat it or anything. She was way too small to eat the bead.

“A-are you sure?” Asked Hunk as he looked down at himself. He was wearing nicer clothes than he usually did. He still seemed nervous. “What if this is too much? The sash is too much… I shouldn’t wear it…”

“You look fine.” Said Pidge. “Seriously, go and have fun. You know you’re gonna have fun.”

“Well yeah, but I-”

“You will do fine.” Reassured Lance as he patted his back. “Now go out there and enjoy your evening with Shay.” Hunk’s parents were just as excited and happily saw him off and told him to treat Shay right since their family was rather well liked around town.

When Hunk was gone Mrs Garret happily served everyone else dinner as she lamented about her son growing up. She asked everyone else about their relationship status to see if they had a special someone somewhere.

“A kyoshi warrior doesn’t need someone to tie them down.” Said Pidge. “Also, I’m way too busy to bother with crushes or love.”

“I’ve been on many, many dates.” Said Lance. “But I haven’t found that one lucky person to spend my life with.”

“It’s kind of complicated…” Said Shiro. “But when I next see them we’re going to talk about it.”

“People are jerks.” Muttered Keith.

“Quack!” 

Lance grinned and picked her up. Her little webbed feet flailing in the air. “Hello Blue. You want something girl?”

She quacked and lightly nipped at his nose, which made Lance giggle. Keith couldn’t help but smile a little at him. Not at Lance giggling or anything. He was smiling at Blue. Blue was cute. Animals were cute. Not the stupid, air headed waterbender that couldn’t stand that he was being bested by a firebender.


	194. Sadness (HolyHell AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a very, very sad demon. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It had been three months since Keith had left and gone home. Keith’s home was a farmhouse out in the rural area of nowhere. It looked pretty dilapidated and like no one actually lived there, but the Mamora gang shuffled around ownership every fifty years or so to make sure that it always looked like someone else was owning it.

At the moment the house technically belonged to Thace, but the house was more or less Keith’s home. It had been the place that they had stayed in for most of Keith’s life growing up. He had his own room and everything, which was where he had stayed ever since he had gotten home.

His father had talked to him for a few hours when he first showed up. There was lots of crying on Keith’s part. His dad let him get all his tears out and let him hide away in his room. So that’s where Keith was. He just stayed there and stared at a knot in the wooden panel of his wall.

He felt sick. Everything that he had said to Lance was all for nothing. He looked at the scar on his finger and felt his stomach do flips. Human lives were so short. Lance had probably gotten over him already. It would take Keith a long time to heal from this.

He buried his face into his pillow and choked back another sob. He was an idiot. A fool. A stupid son of a bitch. Just because he was part succubus didn’t mean he could get with anyone he liked. Sure he could in a physical sense, but he wanted something more than that. He wanted someone who stood by him and made him feel like he could be better. That he could be more than what everyone said he was.

Lance made him feel good, and he was so open with himself and his life. Keith really, really wanted to be better for him. But he wasn’t better. The second Lance knew what he was, he hated him. He was scared of him. He held up his crucifix and told him to get out of the church. It honestly scared him.

He heard the door open and Keith glanced over at it to see his dad. A tall man with broad shoulders. His father was a trickster demon, specializing in scaring people lost in the woods, and making them even more lost. According to him, human screams sounded similar to laughter and it was nice to hear. Not that Keith could blame him. He thought that human screaming sounded nice too.

“You want to eat something today?” He asked.

“No.” Muttered Keith. “I’m not hungry.”

“You can’t just not eat.” The older man walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed. He held a sandwich out to him. “Eat it. Just one bite, and I want you to swallow it.”

Keith sighed and reluctantly sat up and took a bite. “There. Happy now?”

“No.”

“You’re never happy.” Grumbled Keith.

“How can I be happy when my son is so heartbroken?”

“... Shouldn’t your hip still be broken old man?”

“My hip is fine now.”

“Don’t care. Just leave me alone.”

“Keith…”

“Just go away… I just want to be alone.”

His father sighed and let him be, but he left the sandwich. His old man didn’t understand. He didn’t get it. He and his mother were together. They were happy and content, but Keith was alone. He was nothing but a failure. He wanted to get thrown into the darkest pits of hell and rot.

After what seemed like a few seconds the door to his room opened again and Keith was going to growl at his dad, but was surprised to see Adam. He still looked mostly human. After living with them for so long and away from humanity, he had changed ever so subtly. His teeth had gotten sharper, his pupils could change from slits to the more off putting vizage of a goat, and those were just the changed people could see. 

He walked over to Keith and looked at him curiously. “Don’t freak out. I only know you’re here because your dad asked me to be here.”

“Good. Now you can go away.”

“You can’t stay like this forever.” Warned Adam. “Everyone is going to eventually find out about what happened and then they will-”

“Laugh at me?” Growled Keith. “Tell me I’m a stupid piece of shit for even trying? I fucked up Adam. I know I did. No one has to keep telling me that. I was a fucking piece of shit for thinking a fucking pastor would ever want a demon.” He could feel tears welling in his eyes again. “Some disgusting, filthy, hellspawn that dirtied his beloved church… He’ll try and shove a crucifix in my head the next time he sees me… Which he never will, because he hates me.”

Adam sighed a little and gave him a sympathetic look. “Do you know how Shiro and I met?”

Keith shook his head.

“Do you remember that period with the American civil war?”

“The what now?”

“Racist white people versus slightly less racist white people.”

“Oh yeah, that. What about it?”

“Well your father and Shiro are similar trickster demons… Shiro found me when I had escaped the plantation my former master had owned.” Said Adam. “I was actually going to throw myself off a cliff since I could hear the dogs and horses coming after me. Hell I was more cornered about the beating I was probably going to get from my master if I was caught…”

“And?”

“Well, Shiro just happened to be in the area and was trying to scare the shit out of me, or so he said…”

***

Adam stumbled and fell, scraping his palms and knees. There was a cliff around here somewhere. He just had to find it and jump. It would all be over if he could just find it. He heard the deep growl of a dog behind him. Adam froze as he looked over his shoulder and attempted to scramble to his feet, but ended up backing into a tree.

The dog;s fangs were bared and Adam was sure he was going to die. The dog looked like it was about to bark at him and alert the horse and their rider to where he was when they stopped. The dog’s tail went in between their legs and they looked terrified. They quickly ran away, and presumably back home.

Adam was confused but let out a sigh of relief. As he stood up he heard something slam into the trunk of the tree with a loud thwack. Adam jumped in shock and looked over to see a creature with a cow head staring at him. It groaned and made a rumbling like it was trying to moo, but it growled and gurgled like it had bubbling bile caught in its throat.

Adam was too scared to scream. He just ran for it. He didn’t get very far before he got his foot caught in a tree root and sprained his ankle. He cried out in pain and saw the monstrous cow headed person walking towards him.

He was scared, but Adam was also frustrated, scared and angry. “Just do it!” He snapped at the cow man, making them pause. “Just fucking kill me!”

The cow man just looked amused and crouched down to Adam’s eye level. “You are interesting.” They said. “If you wanted to die, then why not let the dogs eat you?”

“I’d rather die by my own hand than by the hand of my master.” Spat Adam with venom.

The cow man was very amused by that statement. “So you want to kill yourself? If I were to kill you, you wouldn’t be able to do it. If there is one thing I know about humans it’s that you are very hard to kill. You’re very resilient. My kind finds you very amusing. We can throw a lot of shit at you before you die.”

“And you’d slow my death down?”

“If you want death I can give it to you. But first, I want you healthy, you fucked up your ankle.”

“Why does that matter?”

“I drive my prey insane.” Said the cow man. He crawled over Adam and smirked at him. “I’ll drive you insane and make you unable to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s in your mind. I’ll fuck with your head so much you won’t even realize you’ve killed yourself until the lest seconds of death where you realize the noose around your neck is made from your own guts.”

Adam glared at him and punched him right in the snout. “Step the fuck back. Your breath stinks. Fucking demon.”

The demon looked shocked for a moment before they chuckled and sat back. After a few awkward seconds the cow head demon threw their head back and laughed as their form shifted and changed into a more human form, though their eyes were still bright yellow.

“You know what? I like you. My name is Shiro. Guess you already figured I was a demon.”

“And I guess you already know that I really don’t give a fuck.”

“Sassy. I like it.” Shiro got up and quickly slung Adam over his shoulder.

“Hey! Put me down!”

“No way. I promised I’d kill you once your ankle is better. I’ll take you to where I’m living for now and you’ll be off to kill yourself by the end of the week.”

“You fucking suck.”

“And you’re a charmer.”

***

“And what’s the point of that story?” Asked Keith.

“Circumstances change your view of demons.” Said Adam. “I saw Shiro as more of a good thing than a bad thing. He was willing to grant me my wish of dying by my own hands and actually made sure I was ready and willing to run for my life… He was my escape… And angel.”

“Hisssss…”

“Oh shut up. You know what I mean.” Said Adam. “Look, to a Pastor you’re nothing but a monster. Someone he should fear. You aren’t a release or an escape from anything. You’re a symbol of hatred to him.”

“So it was never going to work out?” Asked Keith. “Is that what you’re saying?”

Adam shrugged. “In a way, yes. But if anything, you didn’t really make yourself anything that your potential bride wanted, did you? He just thought you were a broken person that he needed to fix. You’re a sex demon, yet you let him seduce you, not the other way around. Shiro managed to seduce me and changed my mind so I no longer wanted to be his victim but wanted to be his bride.”

“... Well now I just feel even more stupid!” Snapped Keith. He crawled under the bedsheets, and threw his sandwich at him. “Fuck off. Leave me alone.”

Adam rolled his eyes but left the room. He easily found Keith’s father walking around the kitchen. The man gave him a concerned look. “Is he still upset?”

“Yes. He threw his food at me.”

“Figured…” He sighed and poured Adam a shot of bourbon. “I don’t know what to do. The kid just wants to wallow in his own misery. He doesn’t eat, doesn’t drink… and at this point I am pretty sure his clothes are starting to weld to his body…”

“Yeah, the kid needs a shower…” Adam sighed and downed his shot. It burned a little on the way down. “Ah, fuck it. Where did this pastor come from? What town?”

“Why?”

Adam took the bourbon from the older man and quickly gulped down a few mouthfuls. “Well… Someone needs to talk to the human. Might as well be a kind of demi demon thing that’s the bride to another demon.”

“While I agree, do you think that’s a good idea?”

“What’s the pastor gonna do? Throw a crucifix at me?”

“Perhaps?”

Adam shrugged and headed out. “Whatever. I’m going to find this shitty priest that broke Keith’s heart. Been a while since I’ve broken a bunch of religious shit. By the way I’m taking the crowbar. Might need to break some kneecaps.”

“Have fun.”


	195. For the pudding cup (Highschool AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They talk some more, but Keith is just a very, very sleepy boy. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was lunch time again when Lance next saw Keith. The man was staring off into the distance and poking at his mashed potatoes. He looked annoyed about something, but Lance didn’t know what. He still wanted to know. He still wanted to be around Keith but was so worried about Keith hating him, but considering that might have been what he wanted because he was a masochist. Life was confusing.

Hunk nudged Lance’s arm. “Are you okay there buddy?”

“Still thinking about Keith…” He muttered. “He looks like he’s thinking about something…”

Pidge rolled her eyes as she ate her jello. “Maybe suck it up and actually talk to him?”

“What? No way.”

“That doesn’t seem like a good idea…” Said Hunk quietly. “I mean, Keith is pretty quiet, but he’s… Okay, he’s scary… Like, he doesn’t seem like a bad guy but he’s… He gives off unfriendly vibes.”

Pidge rolled her eyes again. “I’ll give you my pudding cup if you just go up and say hi to him.”

“... What kind of pudding cup?”

“Caramel fudge. Homemade.”

Lance groaned a little as he thought this over. Fuck it. He’d do it for a pudding cup. The pudding cups her mum made were the stuff of legends. He took a deep breath and walked across the lunchroom to where Keith was. He didn’t even seem to notice Lance until he was right next to him. He cleared his throat to catch Keith’s attention.

Keith glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Do I need to go to the office?” He asked. 

“What? No.”

“Does a teacher need to see me?”

“No. At least, I don’t think so?”

“Okay?”

“... Um, well, anyway my name is Lance, you hit me in the face with a door the other day.”

Keith’s face was blank for a few seconds before his eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh shit! Sorry! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Said Lance. “Is this seat taken?”

“... No?” Keith sounded very, very confused and unsure about what was happening.

Lance grinned and quickly sat down. “Cool. So um… Waiting for someone to join you?”

“No.” Said Keith as he stabbed at his food.

“You asked if a teacher needed you or the office? Why?” Asked Lance. “Did you do something?”

Keith continued to stab at and eat his food. “Not to my knowledge. I don’t think any teacher has any reason to get me in trouble today.”

“Well that’s good… So how are you going on the assignment?” Asked Lance. “I’m friends with Pidge and we were kind of shocked you didn’t want to work with her. She’s wicked smart and said she’d do it all herself. It’s an easy A. She’d just slap your name on a few things.”

Keith pulled a slightly disgusted face. “I’m not going to skate on through senior year on someone else’s grades. Is that what you do? Cheat?”

“What? No!” Said Lance quickly. “I wasn’t trying to imply anything! I was just saying… Like, Pidge is really smart and she’s honestly confused that someone wouldn’t take an easy A. That’s all.”

“... Whatever.” Grumbled Keith. “Look, do you want something from me? I have… whatever the fuck this is to eat.” He stabbed the mashed potatoes and pulled his spoon out. It kind of looked like grey paste with flecks of green herbs in it. Lance was glad he only ever bought things like drinks and or one of those pre packaged desserts.

“... I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Right…”

“Well if you just want to be left alone I’ll just go…” Said Lance as he got up.

“Later.” Grumbled Keith.

“... Bye.” Lance quickly went back to the table where his friends were waiting and sank down in his seat. “Give me that pudding cup…” He muttered.

Pidge handed it over. “So, how did it go? Still alive?”

“He didn’t threaten you, did he?” Asked Hunk quickly.

Lance shook his head. “No, he just seems really bitter about something. Didn’t understand what it was about though… Also I think he didn’t want to work with Pidge on that assignment because it would have been too easy or something?”

“Freaking weird.” Muttered Pidge. “Oh well, just means an extra assignment for the teacher to mark, right?”

***

Keith was very, very confused. He didn’t know why Lance was talking to him. At least he knew what his name was now. Lance. The guy he decked with a door. Apparently he was friends with Pidge or knew her? It really confused him. People didn’t go out of their way to talk to him. He was pretty sure Pidge might have put him up to it.

He shook his head. He needed to forget about that. School was almost over. He was worried about Shiro. It was his first session with a therapist today. He and Adam were going to pick him up after school. He hoped that it went well.

Shiro had agreed to go, but he was a little strange about it all morning. A little agitated and nervous. Keith and Adam had done everything they could to try and make him relax and feel comfortable. He was still nervous about it. Which was understandable.

Keith yawned a bit and quickly finished his food. He was still sleepy and decided to hide away in the sick bay again. Coran was more than happy to let him do so, but would wake him up for the last class of the day at the very least.

Keith was enjoying his nap when he heard the door opening up again and someone came in. It was kind of annoying because he was about to fall asleep.

“So what can I do you for?” Asked Coran.

“Rolo was trying to deck someone else with a text book.” Said a familiar voice. “They ducked and I got smacked with a hardcover.”

“Aspirin and rest?” 

“Yes please.”

There was the sound of paper rustling as Coran checked for allergies. “Hmm, okay. Here you go, and take a bed, okay? If you feel better in about twenty I’ll send you back to class.”

“Okay.”

“Good. Now lie down. I have to go to the office and see about getting some more paddle pop sticks… Be good Lance and keep quiet. Keith’s sleeping in the back.”

“Ah, okay.”

Keith heard Coran leave the room and Lance sitting on the bed by him. The mattress creaked a little as Lance got himself comfortable. It would be quiet for a few seconds before the creaking started up again. It was annoying. The damn creaking wouldn’t stop.

Eventually Keith had enough and rolled over to glare at him. There was a bed between the two of them. “Do you have ADHD?”

Lance squeaked in shock and looked over at him. “Oh hey. Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you up. I-”

“ADHD motherfucker. Do you have it?”

“... I don’t think so? I mean, I haven’t been tested for it or anything.”

“Then why are you still moving?”

“Just trying to get comfy…” Said Lance quietly. “You know, I kind of got hit with a book…”

“I heard.” Muttered Keith. “You really get hit in the face a lot huh?”

Lance nervously laughed. “Yeah… It seems to be happening a lot today. Probably not a good thing since I’m not that smart to begin with. My parents would get really upset if I dropped a letter grade in anything. Well, they would if they bothered to look at my grades to begin with.”

“...” Keith slowly blinked as he watched Lance talk, and talk. It was mostly white noise to him and was actually starting to give him a headache. He had half a mind to throw a pillow at him to maybe shut him up.

“But enough about me.” Said Lance. “What are you in for?”

“... None of your business.” Keith knew better than to tell people personal stuff about himself. Especially someone he had hurt by accident. He was pretty sure they might use whatever he said against him. He didn’t need this shit in his last year of school.

Lance shrugged. “Yeah, okay. Fair enough… Sorry. I kind of talk a lot when I get nervous… I didn’t mean to annoy you…”

“... It’s fine.” Muttered Keith and rolled over to face the wall. He hoped that this meant that the talk was over. Thankfully, Lance seemed to take the hint and he shut up. Keith managed to nap all the way to the end of the day. 

Coran apparently decided to let him sleep through to the end of the day. Which was nice. Lance had already gone, so Keith went to grab his bag and headed to the car park. Adam was there and Keith got into the back seat. 

Keith stayed in the car when they pulled up to the therapist office. After about ten minutes Shiro and Adam came out. Shiro looked emotionally drained and sunk into the passenger seat. Keith cautiously looked over at him.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah…” Muttered Shiro. “It was a little… It was a little much… And that was just introductions.”

“You did really well.” Said Adam. “Doctor McClain is very qualified when it comes to helping soldiers and people with PTSD… But if you don’t like him I can find another place.”

“He seems fine.” Said Shiro. “I just… Kind of want to lie down for a few hours…”

“You can do that.” Said Adam. “It will be fine. Do you have work tonight Keith?”

“No, I’m good. I have assignments to start and finish.” Said Keith quietly.

Shiro looked at Keith through the rearview mirror. “Want to watch TV tonight? Is there something you like watching on a Tuesday?”

“I don’t really watch TV…” Said Keith. “I kind of just do work, or school work… Not really much time to watch TV…”

“Oh, okay.”

“... But I’m sure we can find something?” Keith wanted to do more things with Shiro anyway.

***

That evening at the McClain house, Lance ended up watching the TV. It was a weekday so everything was quiet. No extra kids running around from extended family. Not without calling ahead anyway.

Today, Marco, his older brother, was stopping over for dinner. He usually did once a week. His mama and papa loved it when their older children came by. His brother was a pretty laid back man with a soothing personality that made everyone comfortable.

“Hey short stuff.” Said Marco as he ruffled Lance’s hair. “How’s school going?”

Lance chuckled and smiled. Marco was the brother he was closest too. “Pretty good. School’s fine. How’s life as a shrink?”

Marco shrugged. “Eh, it’s the same as one might expect. It’s not easy helping people with PTSD, but someone had to do it. Can’t leave those people with no help, right? Mama! I’m back!” Called Marco as he walked into the kitchen to talk to greet her.

Lance was happy to see Macro again, but whenever one of his older siblings came over his parents would be all over them and once again Lance would be left alone. His parents wouldn’t try and include him in the conversation unless he was asked a question by his sibling.

He didn’t really mind too much. His parents saw him every day. Not his brother. It gave Lance some time to day dream a little about Keith. He was going to have dreams about Keith fucking him in the sick bay because he wouldn’t shut the fuck up.


	196. Clothes (Modern fantasy AU XXVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance does something nice for Keith. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance hummed to himself as he took Keith’s measurements in his office. Once a month they would go over Keith’s whole body to track his weight loss progress. His body was still as soft as ever, but he had lost some weight, according to his measurements.

“Not bad. You’re doing pretty well.”

“It doesn’t look like I’ve lost much.” Muttered Keith as he squeezed his love handles.

Lance shrugged and jotted down his numbers. “It might not look like much, but it is. The first fat you lose is the fat around your internal organs. After that you start to burn fat from everywhere else. So while you might not look like you’re losing weight, you’re actually losing a fair bit. I mean, you have lost a fair bit of weight.”

“... I feel like you’re mocking me.”

“I’m being serious. Look.” Lance got onto his work computer and showed Keith his weight chart. “Here, you dip down a lot and yeah, sometimes it shoots back up, but those times were because of Nyma or times when you started to over eat.”

“Huh, okay…”

“Yeah, and this is your body scan.” Lance showed Keith two body scans of Keith. “So if you look at the scans you have actually lost some weight around your stomach and ass. You might not have noticed, but if you look at these scans side by side you have lost weight. Your posture has improved too.”

Keith tilted his head slightly as he looked at the scans. “Hmm, I guess I do look slightly slimmer, but not really... Man, I wish there was a quicker way to lose weight…”

Lance shrugged. “Unfortunately there isn’t much of a quick way. I mean, there are some medications and surgical procedures that can help but-”

“What medicine?” Asked Keith quickly. “I thought you said we shouldn’t take diet pills?”

“Not without talking to a doctor first.” Said Lance. “Some medications that you need a prescription for can have some horrible side effects. Things like violet diarrhea, intense nausea, headaches, insomnia, and all kinds of terrible things.”

“Then why take it in the first place?”

“Because it still does what it does very effectively.” Said Lance. “It helps give you the energy you need to lose weight.”

Keith nodded a little. “I see… But what is surgery?

“It’s where doctors cut you open to fix you.”

Keith looked like he was going to be visibly sick. “Seriously? You want someone to cut you open willingly?”

“Hey, it’s what doctors do and it’s pretty rare for someone to die on an operating table these days for something simple.” Lance shook his head. “Anyway, there are some surgeries you can get, like a stomach sleeve. That’s where a portion of your stomach is removed so it’s more like a sleeve.”

“... Does that work?”

“Well yeah? You eat a lot less and you get fuller way faster.” Said Lance. “Though you need to go to a doctor and they will need to see if you qualify for such a thing… Surgery is always the last option and I only recommend it if my clients have stagnated for several months or if there are some other underlying health issues.”

Keith frowned a little. “Eh, fine…”

“Why? Did you want to get the surgery?”

“I just want to get faster results.”

“Well slow is a lot better in this case.” Said Lance. “It’s easier to maintain your weight if you do it slowly. If it happens too quickly your body might go into starvation mode and you could end up gaining more weight in the end.”

Keith sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I guess… I just wish I was able to lose weight faster…”

“... It’ll be okay.” Said Lance. “I have faith in you. Come on, you were my last client of the day. We can grab some things at the store for dinner?”

“Fri-”

“No fries.”

Keith pouted, but the two of them headed off to the store. Lance grabbed a basket and the two of them walked around the fresh food section. As they did, Lance couldn’t help but smile at him. Keith was making such big strides with his health, even if he didn’t see it.

He still had really cute love handles and soft thighs that Lance just wanted to squeeze and pinch. He was so soft and cute, and Lance was still very much a chubby chaser. Keith was still very much his ideal physique when it came to a partner so Lance was very, very attracted to him.

Lance watched as Keith leaned over the apples to try and find some good ones and he noticed that the sweatpants that he usually wore were kind of slipping down past his hips now. It was even more proof that Keith was losing weight. Maybe they should look for new clothes? It might improve Keith’s mood a little? He knew that some of his clients were always very, very happy when they mentioned they could shop at places they never did before.

They got home and Lance showed Keith how to make cauliflower rice. Keith seemed intrigued by it and was more than happy to watch him do it and had a go himself. Which made Lance grin. He was happy that Keith was more than willing to learn.

***

Early the next day Keith and Krolia had decided to go for a long walk, or to be more precise, Krolia grabbed a sleeping Keith by the elastic of his pants and dragged him outside before he was even properly awake. Lance just waved goodbye to them and went about doing a bit of laundry. He took note of what size Keith’s pants and shirts were before he decided to go out and do a bit of shopping.

He walked past a few shops with lovely looking suits and clothes. Lots of dark reds and purples that he thought would look really nice on Keith… Also he thought Keith would look really handsome in a suit. He’d also look cute in jeans, or a tank top… Lance was almost drooling at the thought of looking over at Keith and catching sight of his nipple through one of the larger holes in a tank top.

He sighed in mild frustration. Lance really thought that Keith was funny, cute, sexy, and someone he really liked, but he was a client. Lance was a professional and was going to help his clients as best he could. Even when he thought his clients looked good just the way that they were.

Lance sighed and shook his head. Keith probably didn’t like him like that anyway. He was just some skinny human guy that Keith probably wouldn’t like at all. It was kind of sad, but true. Elves probably had different standards when it came to beauty or what they wanted in a partner… Was gay even a thing for elves? Lance didn’t really know and headed on home after he bought the clothes he wanted.

When he got home he found what looked like Keith trying to melt into the floor. Lance very cautiously nudged him with his food. “You okay there?”

“Krolia is crazy…” He grumbled.

“Where is she?”

“Shower… We only got home a few minutes ago…”

“Ah, okay.” He looked down at his bags and then back at Keith. “So um, I noticed some of your clothes were getting a bit loose, so I bought some clothes for you. Want to try them on after you shower?”

Keith looked up at him and gave him a confused look. “You bought me stuff?”

“Yeah. It’s some workout stuff like tank tops and shorts… I also noticed you don’t really have anything that isn’t casual, so I got some other stuff for you.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because your clothes are getting loose on you.” Said Lance. “And I thought it might make you feel a little more encouraged to work out more when you see how good you look in clothes that fit you better?”

“... Okay.”

When Krolia got out of the shower it was Keith’s turn. When Keith was clean, Lance gave Keith the clothes to try on. Krolia was very pleased that Keith was wearing clothes better cut and fitted to his body. Keith seemed shocked that he actually looked alright in the clothes that Lance picked out for him.

“Wow… Red and purples really suit me, huh?”

“Purple always suits us elves.” Said Krolia. “Good choice. Red also makes it hard to tell if you have been hit or bleeding, thus not raising the moral of the enemy.”

Lance gave her a confused look. “Thanks? I think?”

Krolia just nodded in approval as Keith walked around in the red shorts that Lance got for him. They were so cute and hugged his ass perfectly. He couldn’t help but stare and hope that Keith would wear them just a little bit more.

“Thanks Lance. This is really nice.” Said Keith. “Thank you.”

Lance shrugged. “Think nothing of it. I just want you to be happy in your body. Everyone deserves to feel confident in their body and happy in their own body.”

“You’re a really good man.” Said Korlia. She stood up and cracked her knuckles. “Since you are so good to us, let us reward you with lunch. Keith! Get your knife.”

“Okay!”

Lance was a little worried about letting the two elves in the kitchen, but thankfully they weren’t in there very long and when they came out they had made a garden salad with leftover roast chicken breast from last night’s dinner. The two of them made a halfway decent chicken salad.

“Wow, you guys, this is really nice.” Said Lance.

Keith shrugged. “It’s nothing. You kind of taught the two of us how to cook and stuff, so yeah. Let us make food for you sometimes.”

“Thanks. I think I will.” Lance was happy that his cooking lessons were sticking.


	197. et non moriatur (Hellpoint AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More strange things are reveled about the Altaxon's and there are some unsettling implications about their religious practices. Also, remember that the Unilu are those four armed aliens. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With a final buzz the checkpoint stuned off. Laying on the floor in shock was Pidge. She was shaking, but she could feel her body and move. She touched her neck and coughed a few times. She was still alive. But she was sure that she had died. She knew she had. 

With shaking legs, Pidge stood up and walked to where she knew that she and Hunk were. She could hear Hunk firing his weapon and the sound of metal grinding against metal. She quickly found Hunk trying not to get cornered by those mummified bodies in the exoskeletons. Thankfully he had finished them off rather quickly.

Pidge cautiously approached him, her hand still around her own throat out of fear her head would fall off again. “H-Hunk…” She whimpered.

Hunk quickly turned around, pointing his gun at her. A range of emotions quickly washed over his face. Everything from relief to fear. Though Hunk did settle on fear. “K-Katie?” He questioned. “How… you… You’re dead… I saw you die...” 

“I-I know…” Said Pidge quietly. “I… My fucking head got cut off!” She looked over at the metallic bodies around them until she found hers. She went to try and look at her body but when she was a few feet away, the body and her paladin armour liquified into a red sludge. She jumped back on shock as she watched it slowly slip down the drain.

“What is going on?” Asked Hunk. “That’s… That’s really you, right? You’re not… But you…”

“I… I have no idea what’s going on.” She said quietly. “I… I died… What the fuck happened? What’s going on here on this fucking station?!”

***

Lance was having a mental breakdown. He died. He fucking died. His body had been ripped the fuck in half by some kind of plasma blast. Now he was back at the bloody scene having a standoff with Keith that looked like he was going to stab him for existing.

“It-it’s me!” Said Lance quickly. “I-I really… It is me Keith. I… Oh, god I died… I…”

“You can’t be Lance!” Snapped Keith. “He fucking died! You have to be some kind of clone or something!”

“B-but I’m the real Lance, but I-”

 _“Hello? Can you all here me?”_ Asked Null through the comms. _“Right good. Okay, Shiro and Allura kind of just explained that you two don’t have the same technology as us. So let me straighten out some things before you idiots go ahead and kill each other again. Yes, you did die. Yes you are still alive. This is because you used the checkpoint system.”_

 _“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”_ Screeched Pidge.

 _“Yeah, I know. It’s pretty strange.”_ Said Null calmly. _“But you see, it was necessary for the Altaxon’s to have some kind of… Extreme religious practices. Penance for our sins and what not. Depending on what the sin was, the penance was pretty intense… It was just easier to make these checkpoints to try and negate this problem… They used to just be at the temple, but with the rise of checkpoint glitches happening… Well, yeah. Don’t worry about getting killed for the most part.”_

 _“WHY DID MY BODY TURN TO SOUP?”_ Yelled Pidge. Hearing her say that, both Keith and Lance looked over and where Lance’s body was. It was now just two separate puddles of red gunk.

 _“Nanobots._ Said Null. _“When your tag can’t pick up vital signals the quickly break apart the body for quick and easy disposal. Anyway, it’s fine. Everything is fine and-”_

“What the fuck did I just kill?!” Snapped Keith. “That weird, fucked up looking-”

Null groaned loudly. _“I know… Look, some checkpoints are broken and when they are broken stuff like that happens. Also, Galra interbreed like crazy. The checkpoint system isn’t very good with hybrids… So Red paladin with the sword, you might want to avoid getting killed. It might not reform you with the right amount of human and Galra DNA.”_

 _“What about the things that attacked us?”_ Asked Hunk in a panic. _“What was that? Those things that killed Pidge…”_

 _“Ah, the engineers... “_ Muttered Null. _“Yeah, unless you have a lot of fire power you should avoid them… Anyway, if you have to, don’t feel bad about shooting them down on your way to the library. We’ll talk more when you get here.”_

The comms went off and after a few tense seconds, Keith lowered his bayard. Lance still felt like he was going to cry. He died. It really, really fucking hurt. Then Keith trying to kill him again, thinking he’s an imposter just made him feel worse. He had too many emotions at the moment.

“What the fuck is going on in this place?” Muttered Keith.

“I-I have no idea…” Whispered Lance.

“Are you okay?”

“Keith… I died…”

“Right… I… Sorry…” Muttered Keith. “Fuck, I just… I don’t have any idea how to process this…”

“Me either… I-I guess we should keep going to the library?”

“Yeah…”

Lance was shaking a little as he walked with Keith. He was a lot more paranoid about suddenly getting killed again. The last thing he remembered seeing was Keith running towards him. It was scary. He would have thought that his life would have flashed before his eyes before he saw the light at the end of the tunnel… He didn’t. It was messed up. He wanted to cry, but he felt like he couldn’t. He was in too much shock.

***

“I can’t believe you didn’t warn us!” Snapped Allura. Shiro did try to calm her down, but she was furious. “What happened here?! Null! You need to tell us what happened right now!”

 _“Calm down.”_ Muttered Null. _“I didn’t realize your medical care was so shit. The Altaxon’s that embraced the religion of our gods and well… They were regularly using the checkpoint system to offer penance to the Ancient ones… So just…”_

Allura sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Just tell us where everyone went… Please...”

Null was very, very quiet for a moment before they spoke again. _“The Architect… They were the one that sees all and is the one that interprets the words of the Ancient ones. They convinced the majority that the time of convergence was upon us...”_

“What was the convergence?” Asked Shiro. 

Null chuckled, but there was a sarcastic tone to it. _“The Architect proclaimed to the people that the convergence was going to happen. It’s believed that the Ancient ones need quintessence as penance. We give penance until we bleed. For the full convergence we change our forms completely. We are no longer biological beings and we give out quintessence to the Ancient ones.”_

“I still don’t get it…” Muttered Allura. “This is so confusing…”

_“Not really… You do still practice some form of our religion?”_

“No. Altean’s haven’t practiced religion for thousands of years..”

 _“I see…”_ Null started coughing again. _“Quiznack… Well, I have to go for a moment. I need to take my medicine.”_

When the comms crackled off, Allura hung her head in shame. “I… Pidge and Lance died… This place is extremely dangerous…”

“It’s not your fault Allura.” Said Shiro. “We didn’t know what was going to happen when we got here… We’ll just get Null, Fewbar, and then get out. It’ll be okay.”

“Yes but… This place… I’m getting some very, very bad feelings about this place.” She admitted. “Altaxon’s are an ancient race that I never thought that… There are stories about them before they became isolationists… I never cared too much for those stories since they were stories but they… I-I’m sure that humans have committed atrocities against their fellow man too…” 

“Yeah, human history is kind of filled with war…”

“The Altaxon’s… From the old stories and legends were very, very religious and…” She shuddered. “There were stories of invading armies getting descemeated and their bodies being left along the road to Altax with their skins left to flutter in the breeze like flags. They were brutal and warped the old religion into something very masochistic and violent. From what I remember, Altaxons were commonly seen with many scars and cuts on their bodies. They self mutilate for penance…”

“... We really need to leave as soon as possible.” Said Shiro.

***

Keith and Lance were a lot more careful as they moved around the empty streets. Every slight sound made Lance jump and point his gun at everything. Keith couldn’t blame him. This place was fucked up. Sure, the checkpoint thing was pretty messed up, but he could chalk that up to space technology.

What he was having trouble wrapping his head around was the disturbing thing that killed Lance. It was definitely part Galra, but what Null said worried him. Hybrids were difficult for the checkpoint system. If he happened to get killed was there a chance that he might end up as something like that? Did reforming hurt?

The two of them stepped out of the residential area and into what looked more like a mall. Shop fronts lined the buildings along with a few places that looked like they might have been something like coffee shops. From the area where they were standing they could see several tall buildings off in the distance. Some of them looked like they were on the top of some kind of pyramids or hills. Keith checked the map and it looked like the library was on top of the closest pyramid thing.

Suddenly Mimi’s hologram popped up by an abstract looking statue. _“Welcome to the prae dolore plaza.”_ She said in a chipper voice. _“Here are some of the finest and most affordable clothes and-”_ And arrow suddenly shot out of one of the buildings and hit the projection disc that Mimi was on, cursing it to shatter and break.

In an almost blind panic Lance spun around and shot up at the window where the arrow came from. “WHOA!” Yelled a voice. “TIME OUT! DON’T SHOOT!”

They saw four arms stuck out of the window and an Unilu very carefully looked out. They were wearing a heavy metal looking mask and body armor made from scrap metal and leather. They seemed a little relieved that they found them.

“Are you Fewbar?” Asked Keith.

They nodded. “Yeah, and you’re Voltron, right? Sorry I didn’t warn you about some of the fucked up shit here. I would have but I ended up getting chased by some things…”

“Good to know you’re safe.” Said Keith. “Have you-”

“Died?” Asked Fewbar. “Yeah, more times than I can count… This whole place is really messed up…” They tapped at the little white diamond on their chest. “You really need to be careful with this thing though… I have seen a few unfortunates get this thing damaged… It really fucked them up when they… Yeah. It’s fucking crazy. Where is the rest of Voltron?”

“At the library.” Said Keith.

“Ah, okay.” Fewbar looked over at the direction of the library. “Okay, I can lead you there. It’s not a good idea to go via the main roads. We have to go through the back alleyways and stuff. It’s pretty messed up out there when these things get agitated… I only just managed to escape an engineer that followed me out from under everything… It’s really fucking dangerous…”

“Okay.” Said Keith. “Lead the way.”

Fewbar gave them a little salute and quickly started to make their way through back alleys. They kept low to the ground. The two paladins followed suit. Keith kept looking over at Lance and was worried. Why wouldn’t he be worried? Lance was still very jumpy about dying. Anyone would be. Keith was now a little more vigilant about trying to figure out where the checkpoints were around the station.


	198. Phoenix (Witch AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol got some chapters mixed up (sorry about that Ashratherose) but hey, the next witch chapter is now. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The next evening Lance and Keith went to visit Shiro for dinner. With a lot of complaining from Lance about stairs, they were welcomed into Shiro’s home. Though Keith couldn’t see Adam. He didn’t know where Adam was until he saw a very tiny, ugly, baby bird looked out of the metal nesting bowl.

“... So Adam died?” Asked Keith.

Shiro nodded. “Yeah, this morning he kind of curled up and burst into flames… He’s a little upset about it, but… Well, there wasn’t much we could do about it. So until he can grow feathers he’s stuck like that.”

Keith walked over to where Adam was. The baby phoenix was glaring up at him with their little beady black eyes set in their gross, pink, frog face. He looked like a chewed up wad of angry pink goo that kind of looked a little like a deformed man.

“Fuck, you are ugly.”

Adam glared at him and screeched as loud as they could. He had little dark purple spots and orange spots in his mouth.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re still ugly.”

“Don’t be mean to Adam.” Said Shiro as he walked over to where Adam was while carrying a mortar and pestle. “He’s a newborn. He’s going to look a little odd for a little while until he gets back to his normal self. Can you get me some of the mealworms and unicorn milk from the shelf?” Keith got those things and handed them over to Shiro. The man put those things in the mortar and ground it up into a paste. When he was done he put some on a spoon and fed it to Adam. “There you go. Eat up.”

Adam happily scarfed down the mush and chirped happily at him. Which made Shiro happy and he fed him another spoon before the phoenix was full and sat down in his ashes. Lance gave Adam some weird looks.

He crouched down next to him and glared at him. “So, this is really Adam?” He asked.

“Yep.” Said Shiro. “Baby birds usually look like this. Adam will be back to his normal self in a few weeks. Maybe a few months.”

“So he’ll be stuck like this until then?” Asked Lance.

“No. When he is able to cover himself in feathers he’ll be able to change back into a human form.” Informed Shio. “He’ll probably look about ten or thirteen when he changes into a human… I need to find some child sized robes for him…”

“Yeah, you should.” Said Keith. “So, want me to help you cook?”

“Yes please.”

“Okay, Lance? Look after Adam and don’t kill him or anything.” Said Keith.

Lance gave him a little salute and watched Adam. In turn, Adam glared his beady little eyes at Lance and chirped. The selkie looked very surprised, but grinned at him anyway. He seemed to enjoy how weird Adam looked.

The two wicche’s headed to the kitchen and tried to figure out what to cook for dinner. Adam was usually the one that cooked because he didn’t destroy things when he cooked. Keith had no idea how Shiro was going to survive until Adam could cook again. He was going to have to survive off of bread and jarred lard from the markets. He should have brought over some lard for Shiro.

“So, how are things with Lance going?”

“Pretty good.” Said Keith as he looked at some meat on a hook. “He met a toll the other day.”

Shiro seemed surprised. “Oh? Really?”

“Yeah. Some troll called Hunk. Seems friendly enough.”

“Oh Hunk! I know him.” Said Shiro. “He’s a pretty friendly guy. Helped me gather a few ingredients a few times when I was out.”

“That’s pretty cool.” Said Keith. He felt a little less worried about Lance hanging around Hunk since Shiro could vouch for him. “I haven’t met him yet.”

“He’s a nice guy. Good heart, very strong, very kind, a little dense about certain things, but I think I might have confused him with my wicche jargon.”

“Maybe… You want me to cook anything? Being a fire wicche and all…”

“Yeah, just cook that.” Shiro pointed to some lump of meat on a hook.

Keith stood next to it and left his manna flow into his hands. He let it pool there and build up before he slowly let the heat seep out. Slowly the meat started to cook. After a few minutes the smell of cooking meat filled his nose. Shiro put a plate under it to catch any drippings that might have fallen off during the cooking.

The smell of food made Lance look over at them. “Food?” He questioned.

“Do you want some goat meat?” Asked Shiro. “I also have a few fish if you want those.”

“Fish!” Lance happily slapped the table a few times, making Adam’s nest/bowl wobble a little. Adam screeched a few times in indignation. “Sorry Adam!”

Shiro chuckled a little and started to cut up some vegetables. “He’s going to keep screeching no matter what. All he can do is screech right now… But let me know if he starts to shiver. He needs to stay warm.”

“Will do.” Lance went back to watching Adam, and Adam looked like an angry, wrinkled old man staring back at the selkie. “... You look like a baby seagull.”

“... SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!”

Somehow Shiro didn’t manage to set the vegetables on fire and they managed to have a nice dinner together. Shiro even put Adam at the dinner table and set his bowl on top of a heating stone to keep him warm. That seemed to placate him for the moment and decided to kick up the ash in his bowl.

“So how are things?” Asked Shiro.

“Yeah, pretty good.” Said Lance as he looked down at his fish, before he shoved one in his mouth. He chewed it for a bit before pulling a face. “It’s been gutted!”

“It was like that when I bought them.” Said Shiro.

Lance pouted a little and reluctantly continued to eat. He clearly wanted a full fish with all the bits still inside. Which kind of weirded Keith out a little, but Lance was used to eating fish whole.

Keith just rolled his eyes and lightly tapped Lance’s leg under the table. “Don’t be rude. Shiro didn’t have to get you fish.”

“Screeeeeeeeee!!!”

“Do you want more food Adam?” Asked Shiro.

“Eeeeeeee!”

Shiro fed him a little more of the paste. “There you go.” That seemed to satisfy the tiny phoenix for the moment. 

“How long is he going to be like that?” Asked Lance curiously.

“He should be eating bugs and not paste in about a week.” Said Shiro. He gently stuck his finger out and Adam rubbed his chin on his finger. He made a few pleased sounds about being touched by Shiro. It looked like it made Shiro’s heart melt. He was adorable. “Yeah, you’ll be okay.”

“So you just have to raise him?” Asked Lance.

“Yep.” Said Shiro. “I don’t mind. I think it helps build a stronger bond between us. It’s like taking care of him when he’s sick.”

“SCREEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

“I know you’re not sick. I just mean you’re small, useless, and need help.”

Adam’s jaw dropped in shock. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” He waved around his tiny little chicken wing-like arms around in anger. He might not have been able to speak but the meaning was clear. He was not useless. Though he kind of was. Smoke was starting to seep out of the baby phoenix’s mouth.

Shiro just ignored him and ate some more of his food. “Just ignore him. All he can do is make smoke. He can’t make fire until he hits roughly 7-8 days old.” Adam tilted his head back and screeched as a small ploom of smoke billowed out of his tiny beak.

Keith rolled his eyes and waved his hand around to try and get rid of some of the smoke. “So, how’s work going?” He asked Shiro.

“Same old, same old.” Said Shiro. “A new set of students have come in and are ready for their studies… I know you don’t really like kids, but maybe you could do a little demonstration?”

“What kind of demonstration?”

“Nothing crazy.” Said Shiro. “I just know that you’re one of the best people when it comes to all manna manipulation. Most other people that are good at it are very, very far away, and I just want to show them that their manna doesn’t define what their job can be. Also, your familiar is a selkie. The complete opposite manna type to yours. It will really help calm some of the younger wicche’s.”

“Um… Sure…” Keith was a little iffy about it, but since it was Shiro asking for the favour, he would do it. “What do you think Lance? Want to do some teaching with the young wicches?”

Lance just looked confused. “So you’re not born wicche’s and know everything?”

“Not really.” Said Keith. “But do you want to come and help out?”

“Yeah. I’d like to help. Sounds fun.”

“Okay, but you’ll need to stay looking like a seal.” Said Keith. “You don’t like wearing clothes, so I don’t want to risk you accidentally flashing your butt ot dick in front of a bunch of thirteen year olds.”

“Eh, fine…” Muttered Lance. He looked rather annoyed about being confined to his seal form, but then he seemed to realise that he would probably end up getting lots of pats and he could slap the ground a lot and get away with it. “Sounds fun.”

Keith glared at him. “Don’t you get any funny ideas.”

“I wouldn’t think of it.” Said Lance in a sugary sweet tone.

It made Keith glare at him some more. “Don’t you dare do something stupid.”

“I would never.”

“Hmmm…”

“... I might a little.”

Shiro chuckled. “Glad to see you two are getting along really well. The bond between you is pretty strong, considering you two have opposite manna types.” The dinner continued with Adam occasionally screeching for attention and food, and the two wicche’s talking about the ins and outs of teaching small wicches. Lance just wanted more fish.


	199. Mansion (Monster and Manna XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay there. I'm back at it again with more monsters and manna. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The party went to the tavern; the Smashed Skull, and decided to go down to eat some food while talking about what to do. They weren’t too sure about the ins and outs of Darmork. They needed to figure out where the Makrabork’s were and how to get in contact with them. They had no idea where to start without stepping on toes.

“Maybe we should just ask around?” Suggested Valayun.

“Might not be a good idea…” Said Meklavar. “You never know what they might say or do…”

“I can mingle?” Suggested Pike. “You guys figure out if we can get a room here for the night and I’ll try and get some information?”

Thundar shook his head. “Don’t mess up and do something stupid.”

Pike gasped in fake hurt. “Oh yee of little faith! I shall be back in a moment.” Before anyone could say anything else, Pike slipped off and escaped into the bar.

Block and Shiro went to see if they could get a room while Pike was getting information. The remaining trio sat around the table. It became a little quiet, Valayun was a little uneasy about being in the underdark. Not surprising since she was a woodland elf. Woodland elves and drow do not get along very well.

“Are you worried about meeting the Makraborks?” Asked Thundar. “They are drow after all…”

Valayun frowned and nodded. “Yes… Drow are… They do not have a very good reputation and we don’t get along with them… They will probably be hostile towards me…”

“It’s okay.” Said Meklavar. “These things happen in the underdark. We’ll figure something out.”

“Yeah…” Muttered Valayun. “We will figure this out. Don’t worry about it. The sooner we talk to them, the sooner we can find the troll. Once we find the troll, we can get my emerald, and save Block’s village.”

Suddenly Pike was right next to Thundar, grinning happily. “I know where the Makrabork’s are.” He said in a sing-song voice. “They have some big ass mansion up on some fancy hill by the cemetery. We should be fine to go up and talk to them. Like, knock on the door and everything, but they might just turn us away. They are kind of snobby assholes apparently.” 

“Glad you found out something useful.” Said the half elf ranger.

Pike stuck his tongue out. “Babe, you’re so rude to me.”

Blick and Shiro came back over. “Alright, we have two rooms with two double beds and one single bed. How are we going to split things up for tonight?” It was eventually decided that Thundar, Pike, and Block would share one room while Shiro, Valayun and Meklavar took the other. Thunder and Pike shared the double bed while Block took the single bed. Valayun and Meklaver shared the double and Shiro took the single.

***

Coran grinned and clapped his hands together. “Alright. That’s pretty good. Goodwork everyone. I was worried there would be a bar fight. That would have been bad if you failed those rolls Lance.”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I was sure I was going to get caught by that guard… Or the mind flayer… I don’t have a strong enough constitution for that…”

Pidge shrugged. “Well, you rolled a nat 20 so you got pretty lucky.”

“Yeah… Maybe I should get the lucky feat next time we level up?” Wondered Lance out loud.

“You’re pretty lucky already. With your rolls.” Said Pidge. I want to check your dice to make sure it really is generating random numbers and aren’t loaded…”

Lance rolled his eyes at that. “Pidge, I don’t know how to do coding. It’s all gibberish to me.”

“... Still gonna check your dice.” They muttered.

“So what are we going to do now?” Asked Block.

Shiro thought for a moment. “Well, we should probably at least find the Makrabork’s mansion and then go from there. Everyone agree?”

Everyone nodded and Coran smiled. “Alright, so you all take a long rest. And decide to head to the Makrabork mansion…”

***

The group made their way to the cemetery and quickly found the Makrabork mansion. The house was gigantic; three stories tall and made from black and purple marble. Glowing orange and red lights came from the windows. The whole place had a kind of creepy glow to it which made everyone shudder slightly at how eerie it was.

“This place is kind of creepy…” Said Block.

Meklavar shrugged and cracked her knuckles. “Time to beat the shit out of them and get our answers.”

Valayun put her hand on their shoulder. “Calm down. How about we just knock first?”

“Well yeah, if you want to be boring.” They muttered.

Shiro shook his head and knocked on the door. After a few minutes the door slowly opened. A very familiar man answered the door. The mysterious stranger that Thundar and Shiro had cornered in the Womblax city.

“You!” Exclaimed Thundar as he reached for fis dagger.

That man just seemed amused. “And it is you. Welcome to the ancestral home of the Makraborks. The most prominent and influential drow clan in the underdark. Please, come in.” The man happily gestured for them to come in and the group very cautiously followed.

The stranger took them to the sitting room where a man was waiting. This drow was much taller than the average drow and much more muscular too. They had a long pale braid that wrapped around their neck several times and-

***

“Kolivan.” Said Keith.

“Come again?” Questioned Coran.

“You’re describing Koliivan, but as a drow.

“... Okay, you can either just let me finish or you can nitpick.”

“Fine…”

***

“I see. So they have arrived.” Said the older drow. They stood up and bowed to them. “I am Vankol. The head of the Makraborks. We have much to discuss, though we weren’t informed that so many of you would be here…” They shot looks over to the stranger, who just shrugged.

“I only saw him with the Paladin before. My mistake.” They said.

Vankol sighed and waved them off. “Please leave Laz. Now, please make yourselves comfortable. We have much to talk about.”

The group did as they were told, and Valayun spoke up. “Sir Vankol, I am Valayun and these are my companions, Shiro, Block, Meklavar, Pike, and Thundar. We humbly apologise for showing up to your home, but we have reason to believe you can help us.”

“How?” Asked the drow.

“My idiot brother lost the family emerald to a troll.” Said Meklavar. “Apparently the troll is a jeweler that you employ.”

Vankol pulled an upset face and crossed their arms. “That troll. Yes… Tell you what. We have had some trouble with them as of late, so if you were to say… Take care of them, we will be more than happy to let you take whatever you may be able to carry.”

“Can I ask why you want this troll gone?” Asked Shiro.

“They are meant to be doing trade directly with us.” Said Vankol. “We have proof that they aren’t doing trade through us. We take great offence to that and will not tolerate such blatant disrespect.”

“Why not do this yourself?” Asked Pike.

“Why dirty our hands when you are going to dirty them anyway when you go to get your emerald back?” They asked. “Now, if you would kindly kill them, you may do what you want with their hoard of gemstones. Kill their minions if you must. I do not care.”

“Where can we find this troll?” Asked Meklavar.

“Do you agree to kill them?”

Valayun nodded. “We don’t have much of a choice in the matter. We need to get that emerald back.”

Vankol nodded and smiled. “Good. There is a small mine to the East of the city. That is where that troll operates. You will get an audience with them if you show them a symbol of the Makrabork’s house.”

“Perfect.” Said Pike. “Can you give it to us?”

“You already have one.” They said as they looked over at Thundar. With much reluctance, Thundar reached into his pocket and took out his talisman.”

“Please don’t tell me you stole that from one of them…” Muttered Block.

“I didn’t.” Said Thundar. “My mother gave it to me before she disappeared… It seems like I might be half human, half drow… And my mother might have been a Makrabork.”

“I can give you more information on them once you come back.” Said Vankol. “Think of it as and extra incentive to-”

***

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOooOOOOOOOOoooOOOOooOOOOOO!!!”

Everyone covered their ears and yelped in surprise as the fire alarm went off. Hunk let out a gasp of shock and ran to the kitchen. “My brownies!!!” With that, the session came to an end… and so did half the kitchen.


	200. Pastries (Highschool AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION!!!
> 
> Wow, so 200 chapters huh? Posted every day since the whole covid B.S happened huh(sometimes more than one chapter)? Well, at chapter 200 I think I'm going to take a week off. I need to do some things I have neglected to do. Stuff like cleaning, fixing some stuff, job hunting ect. So see you all in a week! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance enjoyed art class. He had a sketchbook that he drew in a lot. He drew little sketches and silly doodles of his friends or himself, or something a little more… realistic. Like most artists that want to draw a human they need to learn the basics of anatomy. That being said, Lance did end up drawing a lot of shibari, which to the uninitiated was Japanese bondage.

He didn’t draw faces. Just bodies. Both male and female, but mostly male. Not drawing a face made it very easy for Lance to fantasize about whoever he wanted. Though he didn’t really have much reason to imagine a woman all tied up. He would much prefer being in that position. 

He had seen some beautiful designs and wanted to be suspended in the air, upside down, with his body twisted and contorted in almost painful ways. Yeah, there had been more than one time he had looked at a few pictures and thought about how nice it would be for Keith to tie him up and abuse him. It made him sigh.

They were sketching black and white pictures of statues. Lance was sketching some Greek or Roman statue of some naked guy getting attacked by a snake. It was whatever. Every now and then he looked around the room to see what everyone else was doing. Everyone had their own picture to sketch.

Lance was just doing a bit of shading on his sketch now. It was good enough for school. Good enough for the class. But not as good as his personal sketches. He kept that sketchbook on himself at most times. When it wasn’t on him it was locked away in his locker or hidden under his mattress at home. He couldn’t risk his cousins or young nieces and nephews finding them. He might as well start talking shit to his mama. Yeah, that wouldn’t end well for him.

Maybe he should consider getting a part time job? Save up a little bit of money just in case his family does end up finding out and kick him out. He was pretty sure if he did get kicked out then Marco would probably take him in. He was nice like that.

Eventually the teacher told everyone to stop and pack up. Which was fine. It was almost the end of class anyway. The teacher collected their books so he could mark them for shading and linework stuff. Lance didn’t really care.

He happened to run into Hunk in the hallway on the way to their next class. “Hey buddy. How was art?” Hunk asked.

Lance shrugged. “Same old, same old you know? How was physics?”

“Tough man.” Said Hunk. “Like, I love it and everything, but it’s hard. Pidge still loves it though.”

“Of course she does.” Muttered Lance. “Evil tech gremlin loves that stuff. She’s gonna end up making a H-bomb by the end of the year.” 

“I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“Yeah, anyway, what are you doing after school?”

“Nothing much. Want to hang out at my place?” Asked Hunk.

“Oh heck yeah! Who wouldn’t want to hang out at your place Hunk?”

“We just need to stop at my parents shop first.” Said Hunk. “I have an excursion note they need to sign.”

“Plus we can get free food?”

“That too.” Hunk’s parents worked at a bakery in the mall. It was pretty popular. They made amazing cakes and different kinds of savoury breads. Lance loved the garlic pull apart bread they made. It was beautiful, buttery, melted in your mouth. A feast unto itself.

They met up with Pidge after school and headed to the mall. Hunk’s parents were just as delightful and kind as Hunk was. Their faces lit up as soon as they walked in. Hunk went to talk to his dad about signing the excursion note. His mother happily talked to Lance and Pidge and asked them what they wanted. She usually gave them whatever they wanted at half price.

Pidge grabbed herself a box of a dozen assorted doughnuts. Most of them were filled with jam, cream, and custard. They were out of garlic pull apart, so Lance just got a triple fudge brownie. It was so good. Generous portions, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and milk chocolate all generously swirled throughout. It was super dense, but so. Damn. Worth. It.

“You kids having fun at school?” She asked them as she boxed up Pidge’s doughnuts.

“Physics is hard.” Whined Pidge.

Lance was shocked. “You think it’s hard?”

“Yeah, but it’s still fun.”

The older woman chuckled. “Ah to be young again… I was never one for physics. I think Hunk gets his smarts from his old man. Anyway, Pidge, you don’t like lime doughnuts do you?”

Pidge pulled a face and shook her head. “Yeah, no… I don’t like lime unless it’s in my dinner.”

“You will never know the joy of key lime pie.” Said Lance.

As they talked Lance hardly noticed someone walk in until they were right behind them. Pidge tugged Lance out of the way as she quickly put some money on the counter. The person standing behind them was Keith. He had this aloof and disinterested look on his face. Why did his disinterest make Lance swoon internally so much?

Keith completely ignored them. “Strawberry cheesecake. Vegan. Please.” He paid for the square slice of cheesecake and left without even acknowledging that they even existed. Not even a nod or glance in their direction. Lance’s heart was fluttering.

“Do you think Keith is vegan?” He quickly blurted out.

“Don’t think so.” Said Pidge. “He’s eaten pepperoni pizza and burgers at school before.”

“He could be lactose intolerant.” Said Hunk’s mother. “Some people that are lactose intolerant prefer the vegan options when it comes to cheesecake, or he could just like the taste? I try not to judge a customer when they come in.”

Hunk walked back out from behind the counter with a small box of savoury pastries. “Alright, that’s everything. Let’s get going.”

“Are you going to our house?” Asked his mother.

“Yeah?”

“Can you give the succulents on the table a little spritz?”

“Will do.”

The trio left and went to Hunk’s place. As Pidge and Lance made themselves comfortable on the couch, Hunk quickly sprayed the succulent on the dining table with a quick spritz with some water before he joined them.

They started talking about random stuff. Things about school, teachers, comics, TV shows, movies and then eventually wanted to go after school. Hunk had his eye on a baking school. Pidge wanted to do something with astrophysics and Lance… Well, Lance didn’t really know what he wanted to do.

“I think I’ll probably just go into retail…” He muttered.

“Come on Lance, you must want to do something.” Said Pidge.

“But if you just want to work in retail, that’s cool too.” Said Hunk

Pidge shrugged. “Well, yeah, if you like dealing with people.”

“I might take a gap year.” Said Lance. “I’d like to have some money before I go and try for anything… Maybe Marco can hire me to do some receptionist stuff? Like, part time or something?”

“That wouldn’t be so bad.” Said Pidge. “Still have to deal with people though.”

“It’s still a good job.” Said Hunk. “Marco does psychiatrist stuff, right?”

“Yeah, he’s a therapist.” Said Lance as he munched on his food. “... I think he has some contract with some clinic that deals with veterans? He says a lot of his patients are ex soldiers… I asked him what his demographic was and it’s only vets.”

“How many of them are disfigured?” Asked Pidge.

“Why does that matter?” Asked Hunk.

Pidge shrugged. “I personally want to know if vets are more psychologically damaged but look physically fine, or if people that are disfigured have more PTSD? I’d assume that maybe yes, but I think it would be interesting to figure out.”

Hunk rolled his eyes. “I don’t think that you can really judge someone’s trauma based on what their body or mind went through.”

“I know, but I am interested in finding out.” Said Pidge. “Like, I don’t know man… but… I’m just thinking…”

Lance gasped. “Is the genius, Pidge, finally stumped?”

“Humans are confusing.” They said. “Computers are better. All logical. Humans are illogical garbage.”

“But you hang out with me and Hunk?” Asked Lance.

“Well Hunk can cook and you’re the only one that can match me in Mario kart.”

Hunk shrugged. “Pidge does have a point.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Hunk, where is your switch? I’m in the mood to beat a gremlin into the ground.”

“Let’s a go skinny boy.” Said Pidge in a bad Mario impersonation.

***

Keith liked cheesecake. Keith liked strawberries. The strawberry cheesecake at the Sunflower bakery always made him feel a little better. His day hadn’t gone so well. Once again Keith’s insomnia had caught up with him and made him feel so violently ill he didn’t know if he could get to school.

All day he wanted to throw up and cry. But he didn’t. Just being a little tired was nothing. He could power through this… He did end up crying out his frustrations in the sick bay when he couldn’t get to sleep and ended up vomiting when Coran gave him water. Coran wanted to send him home, but Keith refused. They compromised and Coran called Adam to let him know what was happening with.

The cheesecake didn’t really make Keith feel any better. He only ate about half of it by the time he got home. Shiro was on the couch watching TV when he walked in. He gave Keith a worried look.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked.

Keith shrugged and tossed the rest of his cheesecake into the bin. “Yeah. I’m fine. Why?”

“Adam called me earlier…”

“Where is he anyway?”

“He had to pop into the office for a few minutes… He told me what happened at school…”

“Oh…”

“Yeah. Sit with me?”

Keith frowned a little and sat by him. He knew that Shiro was going to give him an easy way out. So Keith sat next to him, though a little bit away from Shiro. He wanted to give him a little space and let Shiro decide how much space they needed.

“Is everything okay?” Asked Shiro. “You got really sick.”

“I’m just not getting enough sleep. I’m fine.” 

“Keith, you need to sleep.”

“I know. I’m not stupid.”

“I never said that you…” Shiro sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, I know you might be a little irritated because you haven’t gotten enough sleep, but I am trying here Keith…”

“I know…” Said Keith.

Shiro thought for a moment. “Hey, how about this weekend you invite some friends over? You can watch some movies, um… I know we have an old PlayStation somewhere…”

“Oh I um… I don’t really have friends…” Said Keith. He didn’t need to look at Shiro’s face to tell he was disappointed in him.

“Keith…”

“I have too much to do with senior year stuff and work.” Said Keith quietly. “Plus I have a weird sleep schedule… And I’m okay with not having friends. I mean, I’ve survived this long without friends. What’s a few more months?”

“Keith…”

“I’m fine. Really Shiro.” Said Keith quickly. “Don’t worry about me. Really… Do you want to watch TV?”

“Okay.” Keith didn’t really have anything he liked to watch. He’d just let Shiro choose. The older man flicked through a few channels until he finally settled on a documentary… One about urban legends. Keith perked up a little and looked up at Shiro.

Shiro smiled a little at him. “Don’t you like urban legends anymore?”

“No I do but… Are you sure you should be watching it?”

“Urban legends don’t trigger me.” Said Shiro. “I still think this stuff is kind of corny, but you really like it, yeah?”

Keith smiled a little and nodded. “Yeah. I really do… I’m surprised you remember…”

“Of course I remember.” Said Shiro. “You’re my brother. Did you think that I’d forget about the things you like after spending a few years overseas?”

“Well no, but still… Wouldn’t you have more important things to think about.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and put Keith in a headlock that sent him flailing. It made the older man chuckle. He waited until Keith stopped flailing around until he stopped flailing. “Listen here kiddo. You and Adam are my top priority. Granted I have been told I need to think about myself more because I’m now a few pounds lighter.” He waved his stump.

“Really?”

“Humor is how I cope. Get ready for me to throw my prosthetic at you when you ask me to lend you a hand.”

“Adam is going to be very unamused if you do that.”

“Yep. I can deal with that when it happens.” Said Shiro as he released him. “Look, I love you Keith. I want to do things with you that you like. I know you and Adam are giving me time to adjust back into civilian life, but I’m not made of glass. Maybe we can go to lunch somewhere on the weekend?”

“Maybe. We’ll see how you feel.”

“Yeah… Do you have to work today?”

“No not today. I have work tomorrow though.”

“Not working too late though?”

“No. Not really. I’m working until ten...”

Shiro didn’t look too happy. “On a school night? Adam is going to pick you up though, right?”

“I can catch a bus…”

“Has Adam not offered to take you home before?”

“Well no, he does offer, but he gets up early for work and I don’t want to bother him…”

“Why don’t you have a car?”

“There’s like, no parking. Plus with me getting really tired it’s probably not safe for me to sit behind the wheel…”

“Okay… But Adam is picking you up tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay…” Keith felt guilty about that, but if it put Shiro’s mind at ease, he would do it.


	201. The Break up (Shop AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! And what better way to come back then to start a new AU? Two nerds working in a shopping mall, five feet apart because they're not gay! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With a spring in his step, Lance happily walked through the almost empty shopping mall to get to his shop. For the past two years he had worked at Allura’s op shop. It was mostly second hand clothes. Originally this shop was opened by his boss Allura. In her early teen years she was quite famous on social media for fashion and makeup and got sent dozens of shoes, clothes, and makeup that she just never used, or only used once.

The space that they had for the shop was kind of big, even with all the clothing donations they got once she started to advertise the business, so a few weeks ago, Allura made a deal with a friend she went to university with for them to open up a small used book shop using half the floor space.

It took Lance a bit of getting used to. Especially when Allura introduced him to the man running the bookstore. When Allura said his name was Shiro, Lance kind of imagined a skinnier man, not an absolute Adonis of an individual. He jumped several times when he went to open the shop and Shiro was waiting with coffee.

The man was there, smiling happily at him and more than willing to help Lance move some of the stock around. Lance wasn’t ashamed to say he had a bit of a crush on the man. Who wouldn’t? But if there was one thing Lance was, it was loyal. He had a girlfriend. A very cute girl called Florona.

She came by the shop sometimes when Lance was working to talk a little bit and shop. Allura didn’t mind as long as Lance didn’t get too distracted at work. At the moment Florona happily drifted into the shop and looked through the soft, flowing dresses on the rack. She liked pinks and yellows.

“These are so pretty.” She said.

“They are.” Said Lance. “They would look good on you.”

Florona happily picked one off the rack and held the dress up to herself. It was bright yellow with a tasteful cherry blossom print. It was beautiful, just like her. His compliment made her giggle and blush with joy.

Allura walked in from the backroom. She smiled at Florona. “I see you like that summer dress. Yes, it might be a little out of season, but it is still very gorgeous.”

“I’ll take it, please.” Said Florona. “... Can I wear it out?”

“Pay for it first and then head over to a dressing room.” Said Allura.

Florona squealed with delight and happily paid before heading to the change rooms. When she came out Lance couldn’t help but swoon at how perfect she looked. She happily smiled at Lance and tucked some hair behind her ear. In that moment, there was no one more beautiful than her.

“What do you think?” She asked in a coy manner.

“You look amazing.” Said Allura.

“Breathtaking.” Said Lance.

“You look good in yellow!” Called Shiro from his side of the store. He was surprisingly a bit of a dork.

Florona giggled and took her camera out to take a few selfies. Something she usually did. Once she was done, her and Lance went to have lunch. They went to the food court, as usual. Florona got herself a spicy salmon poke bowl. Lance just got a chicken wrap from the same place.

His girlfriend took several photos of her food for her insta before eating it, and took a selfie with Lance as well before he could eat. It was kind of exhausting how much she used insta, but it made her happy and she didn’t actually care too much about the likes she got, so Lance didn’t see it as much of a problem.

Lance started to eat while Florona hummed and hawed as she looked at her food. “It’s always sooo hard to decide what to eat first.” She said. “Like, do I go for salmon? Pineapple? Avocado? Maybe the corn of cabbage? Ah, it’s so hard to decide. Next time I gotta garnish with salmon roe instead of sesame seeds. Looks so much nicer.”

“Yeah. It does, but it isn’t really poke anymore, is it?”

She looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, well poke is a native Hawaiian thing, right? It’s meant to be made with raw ahi tuna or cured octopus.” Said Lance. “And it isn’t made with all the colourful stuff. Like, you can do it if you want, but it isn’t real poke if it is.”

“... Since when did you become a food snob?” She asked.

Lance froze a little in his seat and quickly backpedaled. “Oh, you know my friend Hunk? He’s really into cooking stuff and that was just stuff that I remember him talking about it. But like, who really cares? Like, if it tastes good who cares right?”

“It has to look good too.” She said.

“Yeah, it does.” Agreed Lance. 

Though he didn’t really. His favourite food was ropa vieja, and that wasn’t very insta worthy. It kind of upset Lance a little, but he just needed to keep his mouth shut about this. Like the time they talked about zodiacs and Lance talked about the different stories behind them and how the Greek zodiac differed from the Chinese one, which confused Florona. Florona showed him a video about a galaxy inspired pallet. Lance pointed out how a few of the shades were named after nebulas, and she just rolled her eyes at him.

Lance finished eating and so did Florona, but before they got up to put their trash in the bin, she stopped him. “Hey Lance? Can we talk for a second?”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

She paused for a moment before she sighed. “Look, you’re a really nice guy and everything but I… I don’t really see a future with you.”

“... Oh.” Lance felt his heart drop, but it wasn’t expected. This wasn’t the first time Lance had been in this situation.

“Yeah.” Florona sighed and brushed some hair off her shoulder. “I’m sorry. You’re a really, really nice guy. We click a lot but you… There are some things where we just don’t… I’m really sorry.”

“No, it’s okay.” Said Lance. “I… I get it. I’ve kind of felt it for a few days now too.”

“Yeah… I do like you, but I think we work better as friends.”

Lance was sad about this, but nodded in agreement. “I think so too… I really liked spending time with you and I did mean it when I said I love you.”

“I know… I did too.” She said. “I just… I don’t know. I felt that you were hiding things from me. Not the cheater levels, but you never seemed comfortable around me…”

Nothing she said was a lie. “I’m sorry… I guess I have some issues I still need to deal with.”

“Yeah… Look, I wish you all the best in your next relationship… I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. Same goes for you. I’m sure your next man is going to be a better boyfriend.” He smiled kindly at her and she did the same. Florona was the first to leave and Lance slumped in his seat.

He and Florona had been going out for three months. They were a great couple. They looked good together and they shared lots of the same interests. Sure Lance did blurt out information every now and then about stuff he knew, and he didn’t think he sounded condescending but maybe he did. Like every failed relationship he had, Lance would learn from this. He would keep his mouth shut and bite his tongue when he felt like info dumping on people.

Lance threw his trash in the bin and walked back to the shop. As he walked he started to feel kind of guilty. He usually did at the end of every relationship. It wasn’t because he felt bad about the relationship, but because he didn’t feel as devastated as he thought he should be. He found it very easy to reflect and move on… Which was not a good thing for him. Because of his initial lack of sadness he was called a playboy. Lance just went along with it.

When he walked back into the shop, Allura could tell that something was a little off with him. “Are you okay?” She asked.

Lance shrugged. “Florona broke up with me.”

“Oh Lance… I’m so sorry…” She said quietly. “You two were really good together. What happened?”

Lance shrugged and walked behind the counter. “We just grew apart. One of the longest relationships I’ve had too… Probably third? Three months is pretty good for me.”

“Do you want the rest of the day off?” Asked Allura. “If you need to do it, you can. I don’t mind.”

“No, it’s fine.” Said Lance. “It was a mutual break up. We just kind of fell out of love with each other.”

“Are you sure?” She asked.

Lance nodded and went back to work. He didn’t really feel anything negative towards his now ex. Florona was cute, funny, and kind. He had a lot of fun going to the movies and going to parties with her. She took fun photos and they went to fun places. They talked about celebrity news and gossip… And that was it. They didn’t talk about anything deep or meaningful. It was all very base level stuff. He wished her the best.

When things were quiet in the shop, Shiro walked over to talk to him. “I heard you and Florona broke up? I’m really sorry man. You two looked like you were really close…”

Lance shrugged. “It’s fine. Really… Even though we dated for only a few months, we didn’t really do much more than just go to parties and bars… But well… It was kind of superficial.”

Shiro seemed surprised. “You are very mature.”

Lance laughed at that. “Aw, thanks man. I appreciate it. Most people tell me how immature I am.”

That made the older man chuckle. “Yeah, I can see that. But if you need anything, just let me know. Okay?”

“Thanks man.”

***

After work that day, Lance just went straight home. He got into his apartment and quickly checked to see if his ex had left anything at his place. She didn’t, but it was still good to check. With that out of the way, Lance ordered his dinner from a Thai place that he liked and went to his closet.

Right in the back of his closet he had a small collection of books. Things about stars, planes, the ocean, and everything in between. He quickly picked a book about the great barrier reef and went to sit on his couch and enjoy an evening reading about coral and eating Thai food.

He occasionally looked down at his phone. He was getting notifications from friends and family about his breakup. The usual questions about what happened and why didn’t things work out. Lance answered a few of them, but ignored the rest. 

He was used to this little song and dance. People would give him their condolences and Lance would explain that it was a mutual break up and neither left on bad terms. People would then slowly stop leaving condolences after a few weeks, maybe a month, and then someone would make a joke about loverboy Lance being a lady killer. Lance would just smile and laugh it off, and after a few days it would all be forgotten.

Lance didn’t like this, but this was his lot in life. It might have been very vain to say, but Lance was beautiful. He knew he was beautiful. He had flawless, sunkissed skin, a well toned body, soft brown hair, and his most striking feature; his ocean blue eyes. It wasn’t just his body either. He had the whole bohemian aesthetic going too with both what he wore and how he decorated his apartment. 

He liked it a lot, even if Pidge mentioned that it made him look like a dirty hippy. That did hurt a bit, since Lance did make sure his home was very clean. He just liked the bohemian look. Then again Lance was kind of known for being stupid so it didn’t really phase him as much as it probably should have.

Lance knew he was both those things; beautiful and dumb. He had made peace with that and embraced it. There wasn’t much else he could do. He was a real fool. A moron. Someone vapid and vain that didn’t really care about his relationships because he was just too stupid to. He sighed a little and checked his phone. He wanted his Thai food now damn it.


	202. Farmhouse (HolyHell AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back at it again! Enjoy the sad demon boy! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith had been gone for a while and Lance had been having some trouble coping. He had come to terms with the fact that Keith was indeed a demon, and Lance had invited him into his home and church. He reflected on a lot of Keith’s behaviour as he drained his third pint of beer. He wasn’t even a big beer drinker.

He’d slowly lost his overly cheerful demeanor. His sermons where he preached forgiveness and compassion for all were still there, it was hollow. He had gotten some concerned looks from his congregation and the small group of older women that fawned over him did ask if he was okay. Lance just brushed them off and said there was some personal stuff in his life. Everyone was still worried about him.

Lance didn’t really care that much. Not anymore. He really missed the demon, but he was fighting himself internally. On one hand Lance really cared about Keith and his well being. On the other hand Keith was a demon that was there to corrupt humans with sin. Then on another hand maybe Keith was a good demon? Was that even possible? Could demons be good? He had no idea.

Lance had read many books about mythology. Things about angels and demons. Even stuff about fairy folk. He didn’t really know what to do or say anymore. Things were so much easier when everything was just black and white when it came to angels and demons. Good and evil. Lance shouldn’t be questioning things like this. He liked Keith as a person, but he wasn’t a person. 

He was a demon. A demon that was really, really sweet and able to see that there was nothing between them. Lance looked down at the scar on his finger. Over the past few days he had noticed it starting to fade. He didn’t know what that meant. Did it mean that whatever connection he had to Keith was gone? Maybe? He didn’t know. This was so confusing. 

He didn’t understand what he was meant to do anymore. Lance wanted to go after him, but he didn’t know where Keith went. He probably never would. Keith was gone forever. He felt so hypocritical and he didn’t even know why. Probably had something to do with kicking Keith out because he was a demon, but still wanting him to stay.

With a heavy sigh, Lance left the bar and made his way back to the church. He had so many questions that he was never going to get closure for anymore. Keith was gone. Maybe he was back in hell? He didn’t know. Maybe the only way he could see Keith again was if he committed a huge sin? He couldn’t do that.

As he wallowed in his own self pity he hardly noticed the man walking up behind him. “Pastor Lance?” They called.

Lance looked over at him. The man was tall and tanned with chestnut brown hair. He adjusted his glasses a little, making the glare temporarily blinded Lance slightly. “Y-yeah. I’m Lance… I’m sorry, who are you?”

“I’m Adam. I wanted to talk to you about something.” They said.

“Oh? Is it a matter of faith? Do you need some spiritual guidance?” He was trying to remember if he knew an Adam in the town. Alcohol was clouding his mind.

Adam chuckled a little. “Well I guess depending on how you look at it, it could be considered a matter of faith.” They smiled at Lance, showing off their unnatural fangs and completely yellow goat eyes. 

It made Lance jump in shock, but didn’t know if this was because he had drank just a little too much. “What are you?”

“My name is Adam. I am the bride of Takashi Shirogane, aka Shiro. Keith is kind of like my brother in law.” They said it all in such a cheerful tone, it made Lance’s blood run cold. “Now, let’s go somewhere a little more quiet to discuss these spiritual matters.”

***

Adam was not surprised to see that Lance quickly booked it to the church, well, as fast as a tipsy human could. Seeing a demon seemed to sober him up real quick. Adam tried to remember the last time alcohol had made him drunk? It was such a long, long time. It would still burn his throat, but he might as well have just been drinking spicy water at that point. Had pretty much the same effect on him anyway.

They got to the gates of the church and Lance paused. “C-can you even walk on holy ground?”

Adam rolled his eyes and walked past him and into the church. “Please, I’m not fully demon yet. I don’t have any real adverse effects when coming into contact with religious objects. Not even the mild headaches and migraine that other demons do.”

Lance kind of just numbly followed along until they got to his office. Lance sat down in his chair, he looked all clammy and kind of shaken. “I’m sure you have many questions.” Said Adam as he sat down in his own chair. “Go ahead. We have time.”

The poor Pastor nodded and nervously tapped his fingers against the desk top. “I… You’re not a full demon?”

“No, I’m not.” Said Adam calmly. “I am… The transition from human to demon is very, very slow. Slow for humans, relatively average for a demon.”

“But, how?”

“When a human becomes the bride of a demon the demon extends their lover’s life.” Said Adam. “It’s done through a blood ritual where you have to consume the flesh of your demon partner… Takashi was a little shit about the whole thing the first few times…” Adam did admit he might have gone a little overboard, chasing the cow faced demon around with an actual meat cleaver… The first three times they needed to do the ritual. “Anyway, yeah. I’ve been with Takashi for a long, long time. I’m not a full demon but I have some demonic powers and features now.” 

“I-I see…” Lance still looked very shocked. “So… Are they like… Is everyone in that biker gang a-”

“Yes. All demons.”

“All the same demons?”

“Oh goodness no. They are a large mix of different demons. Shiro is a type of tricker demon that scares people to death or into madness. Keith is half succubus on his mother’s side while his father is a trickster demon, but looks more like a goat headed creature rather than a cow head.”

“Right…” Realization seemed to wash over his face. “Oh god… That’s why he wanted to fuck me? So much? A succubus eats um… that stuff, right?”

Adam found this rather amusing “Well they do, kind of? But it’s more like keeping them energized? It’s hard to tell. I’m not a sex demon. I just know that since Keith isn’t a full succubus he can’t kill someone just by fucking them. That is unless he decides to break their neck.”

“Right…” Lance still looked confused and unsure of himself. “So… Are you here to kill me?” He asked. “Send my soul to hell?”

That made Adam chuckle. He kept forgetting humans cared about things like souls. “No. I came here because Keith is a mess. He’s shut himself in his room and to be honest? His father is probably a week away from getting the pressure hose out to blast him off the bed he’s decided to fuse himself to.”

Lance started to look extremely guilty. “He’s really taking this badly? I… I knew he liked me but I… I need answers. He left before I could get any...”

“I know.” Said Adam. “So I am going to offer you the chance to come with me to see him again.”

“... You’re going to take me to hell?”

Humans really were strange things. Adam still wondered how he used to be one of them. “No. I’m not taking you to hell or anything as foolish as that. But then again I am asking you to go to rural Texas so… Well I could have asked you to go to the Appalachian mountains, but if I’m honest the Appalachian people are pretty relaxed and down to earth… Anyway, I’m not going to drag you to hell to see Keith.”

“Well that’s g-”

“But I will break your kneecaps.”

“... H-how long will this little trip be?”

“Best give it a month.”

“Right…” Lance looked down at the table as he thought about this. “Adam… I… I don’t know… I… There’s so many things that I… How could you willingly become a demon? How could anyone want that?”

Adam chuckled a little and grinned. “Well, it all depends on the situation. For me, Takashi promised that he would drive me so insane I would kill myself, but only when I was pysically and mentaly ready to. We spent a week together as he helped me recover and he healed me.”

“... How could you be in such a state where you would want to kill yourself?”

“Lance, I was born on a cotton farm many years before the Civil war.” Informed Adam. “My only escape from that place was death.”

Lance looked shocked. “Oh… Well um… You look really good for your age…”

“So I have been told.” He stood up and smiled at him. “You have until I bring my car around to be ready to go. If not I am going to break your kneecaps and stick you in the boot of my car.”

“O-okay!” Squeaked out Lance. It was good to know that he didn’t need to get too physically violent with Lance. He was smart enough to keep his mouth and just do what he said.

Adam went to get his car and pulled around. The Pastor was standing out by the gate and still seemed very nervous, but he got in the car anyway. Adam respected that. Clearly Lance was freaking out, but he wanted to see Keith. It was cute.

“Have all your affairs in order?” Asked Adam.

“I… That really sounds like you’re going to kill me or something…”

Adam chuckled. “Well if anyone is going to kill you, it would be Keith. He’s the one whose heart you crushed.”

“I… I know…” Lance looked very nervous and like he was going to jump out of the car. Adam was kind of disappointed that he wasn’t. Adam really wanted to use his crowbar.

***

Lance was pretty sure that he was going to die and he clearly drank way too much to allow himself to be taken away by a demon to Texas of all places. He was pretty sure he was going to get killed the second he got out of the car. It wasn’t like it was a short trip either. He and Adam stopped several times to fuel up the car, to get food, and to sleep.

At any point, Lance could have called a taxi if he really wanted to, but after months of wanting to get some damn answers, Lance stayed. Adam didn’t talk that much to him during those days, unless it was to offer Lance some food or to ask him if they needed to take a bathroom break.

A few days later they were driving along some highway when Adam suddenly pulled off onto a dirt road, making Lance jump a little in surprise. They drove down to some farmhouse that gave off a very strong House of 1000 corpses vibes. It kind of freaked him out a little. He spotted Keith’s bike in an open barn close to the house.

Adam pulled up and got out. “Okay Jesus man. We are here. Get out.”

Lance got out and stretched. Now that he was here, he was terrified. He felt like Dante standing at the gates of hell. His palms were sweaty, and kind of shaking. The front door opened and a well built man walked out of the house carrying a beer can. He looked between Adam and Lance before gesturing to Lance.

“This the guy?” He asked in a gruff voice.

“It’s him.” Said Adam. “I didn’t even have to break his knees to get him here.”

“Keith probably wouldn’t be very happy about his potential bride getting broken knee caps.”

Adam shrugged. “That’s just how I roll. Did Takashi call while I was gone?”

“Yeah. Said he shipped a nice bottle of wine to the town for you. Should be at the P.O box in town in about a week.”

“Nice.” He gestured for Lance to follow him. “Come on. We won’t bite. Neither of us like the taste of humans that much anyway.”

Lance was nervous, but he followed them inside. He half expected the place to smell like sulfur and rotting meat. He thought it would look like a witches lair, but no. The place actually looked well looked after and normal? The only off putting thing was the skull hanging over the fireplace. It looked like two deformed skills fused together. It had at least eleven eye holes with four horns and two jaws. It was unsettling.

The older man sat on a couch and gestured for Lance to do the same. Still fearful, Lance did as he was told. The man then gestured for Adam to go to the kitchen. “Pour the kid a drink. We need to have a talk before I let him see my son.”

“Oh! So you’re Keith’s father?” Asked Lance. “How are you? Is your hip okay?”

The man chuckled. “I’m good. It healed up nicely. But now, I need to ask you… What are your intentions with my son?”

“I um… I want answers…” Said Lance. “He kind of just vanished before I could ask him anything… I just… I wanted him to explain what is going on… Mr?”

“Oh right, you can call me Tex. Most do. Not my real name, but you know.” He said. “I already know you’re Lance. A Pastor. The person my son shouldn’t have made a pact with when you were like what? Five? Six? We try not to make deals with kids since you’re kind of… stupid.”

“Right… That’s fair I guess...” Muttered Lance. 

“Yeah, well once you get your answers what are you going to do?”

“I think that depends on the answers I get.” Said Lance quietly. “I… I’m actually kind of expecting Keith to kill me and you two to hide my body somewhere on the property. No one knows that I am here so…”

Tex chuckled a little at that. “Really? Interesting. I don’t think any of us are gonna try and kill you. At least not right now. There’s been a lot of miscommunication going on here and it needs to be cleared up.”

“Yeah…”

Adam walked over and handed Lance a gin and tonic. “Here. Go and give this to Keith. His room is the one with the cartoon looking red K painted on it.”

“O-okay…” Lance reluctantly took the drink and headed upstairs when directed that way and quickly found Keith’s room. He very slowly opened the door and easily found Keith laying on his bed. The man was covered with some kind of leathery blanket. At least, it looked like a blanket until Lance saw it twitch. It was a wing.

He took a cautious step into the room and the floorboard creaked under his feet. “Go away…” Grumbled Keith.

“Keith…”

Just saying his name was enough to make Keith sit up. He looked awful, like he had been crying for a while. His face went red with embarrassment. “Lance… What are you doing here?”

“I… I came for answers…” Said Lance. “And apparently to give you a gin and tonic?”

“How did you even get here?”

“Adam came to get me.”

Keith looked shocked for a moment before he got angry. “That nosey fucker… I am going to beat his ass… He didn’t get you with the crowbar, did he?”

“No?”

“Good…”

Lance walked over to him and offered him the drink. “Here… I was told to give this to you… Please drink?”

“...” Keith reluctantly took the drink and quickly downed it. “Thanks… You didn’t have to come all the way out here…”

“You didn’t really give me much choice. You just ran away.”

“... I didn’t want you to hate me.” Said Keith sadly. He pulled his wings around himself to shield himself from him. “I mean, I know you hate me because you’re a pastor and you kind of just hate me by default… but I tried… I really tried but…”

“Shush, it’s okay.” Lance awkwardly sat next to him. He wasn’t sure if he should try and touch him or not, but he was still sitting on the bed next to him. The closest he had ever been to Keith in far too long. “We need to talk about this… Please?”

Keith looked down at his empty cup and sighed. He seemed to regret not nursing his gin and tonic. “Yeah… Okay… I want more gine first though…”


	203. Heading East (AtLA IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit more of a road trip kind of thing going on at the moment. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy XD

Lance was so happy that Hunk’s date with Shay went well. He almost mistook the guy for an airbender because damn, that guy looked like he might have been floating around on air. He was adorable. Shay looked just as happy and the two of them were all giggly and blushing around each other.

After one such encounter, Lance couldn’t help but lightly nudge him. “So you and Shay are a thing now?”

“Yeah.” Said Hunk with a grin.

“Isn’t that going to make your merchant job thing all weird?”

Hunk shrugged. “Well yeah, but in two years I’m going to be taking over the shop here. So I’ll be setting down here and Shay and I can think about settling down together.”

“That’s awesome man! Are we still leaving at the end of the week?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about that.” Said Hunk. “Should be interesting going to the air temple. Who knows what I can trade there?”

“Who knows?” He patted Hunk’s back and grinned. “Well, I’m going to see if Shiro’s gonna teach me some airbending techniques.”

“Trying to improve your waterbending?”

“Heck yeah.” Lance took a strong stance, like he had learned from Pidge, and moved his arms with more power and force, like he had learned from Keith, and moved his arms with the same fluidity as a waterbender. “Incorporating different styles is actually pretty awesome.”

“Is everyone else getting the same out of it?”

“Eh, maybe? Not sure.”

“Well you better head off and find Shiro. He’ll probably be looking for you soon if you two are going to train together?”

“You sure buddy?”

“Yeah I’m sure. Don’t get blown away now.”

Lance laughed. “Will do. See you soon Hunk.” Lance happily headed over to Hunk’s family barn. Shiro was helping Hunk’s father load some different goods into the cart that they were probably going to take to the Air temple.

“You think they’ll appreciate the blankets?” Asked the older man.

“Well the air temples can get pretty cold. Especially in winter…” Said Shiro. “They should take most of them.”

“Nice.”

“Shiro!” Called Lance as he walked over to him.

The man smiled. “Hey Lance. Are you here to help out a little or do you want to do some bending practice with me?”

“Um… I’d prefer just to practice…”

Hunk’s father chuckled and patted Shiro’s shoulder. “You two go ahead. I only have the spice box to add to the cart and then it’s all perishable things after that, which should be added a few hours before you actually leave. Off you go. Have fun.”

“Oh, okay. Come on Lance.” The two of them went to a field and Lance thought they were going to do some fighting like he had done with Pidge and Keith, but no. Instead Shiro just found a spot on the ground and sat in the lotus position. 

He gestured for Lance to do the same, which he reluctantly did. “So… Airbending huh?”

“Yeah. Air bending is more about defense than offence.” Said Shiro. “We’re mostly about trying to disarm our opponent rather than attacking others. Spirituality is also a huge part of it, so I find it very fulfilling to sit and meditate.”

“So… you guys have no fatal moves?” Asked Lance. “Like the other bending arts have things like drowning, getting buried alive, burnt to a crisp…”

“You breathe air, right?” Asked Shiro. “An air bender and pull the air right out of your lungs without hesitation.”

“... Yeah, okay. I didn’t think of that…”

Shiro chuckled. “Yeah, people always forget about that. It’s also really good for putting out Keith’s fire. Can’t have a fire if there is no air.” 

“... I didn’t know that…”

“It’s fine. Anyway, we should meditate. Waterbenders are quite spiritual too. It’s said that water benders learned how to waterbend from the moon, right?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. We did. The moon and ocean spirits are very, very important to us… I probably don’t have much in the way of a real spiritual connection, but… Well, I try…”

“Maybe meditating under the moon will help you connect with the moon?”

Lance could only imagine what would happen if he did. What would he even say? Would he be talking to Tui, or Princess Yue? If he talked to the princess, what would he say? Just ask her what it was like to be the moon? Talk about the Avatar? He had no idea. Would she even know who he was? Would she even care? Honestly, probably not. She might be annoyed that he was bothering her.

“Yeah, maybe… I’ll think about it.” There was suddenly a sound that sounded like a whip cracking. It made Lance jump as he quickly looked around. “What the fuck was that?”

Shiro, unphased and unmoved just shrugged. “Pidge and Keith are doing some training.”

“... Right.”

***

A few days later everyone was ready to go. Goods were stocked, Rover and Blue were settled in, food and maps were ready to go when they needed it. Shay came out and hugged Hunk tightly. They even shared a quick kiss before Hunk got onto the cart.

“Take care.” Said Shay quickly. “I want to hear all about your adventures when you come back.”

Hunk grinned at her. “We will. Don’t worry about it. I’ll send you letters.”

“You better.” She said in a playful, warning tone. Hunk’s parents also said their goodbyes and the group of five happily headed out. 

Pidge was sitting up the front with Hunk while feeding Rover some food. “So, is it really a good idea to be going now? You and Shay just started dating.”

“It’ll be fine.” Said Hunk. “My relationship with Shay is rock solid.” 

The two continued to talk about stuff in the village while the other benders were in the back. Shiro was feeding Blue a few turtleduck treats and trying to get her to do tricks. He was having limited success. The turtleduck hadn’t quite mastered the art of sitting and kind of just laid on her belly and stuck her webbed feet out. Every time she did she would quack and demand treats. Not just from Shiro, but from everyone in the back of the cart. When Keef didn’t give her a treat for doing her trick, she climbed onto his foot and took a crap on his sandal.

“... Seriously?” Asked Keith. “Lance, your duck took a shit on my sandal!”

“She’s a turtleduck.” Corrected Lance as he handed over a random piece of cloth that he had been using to clean up Blue’s little accidents. “And don’t blame her. Blame Shiro. He taught her that.”

“I did not!”

“What did Shiro do?” Asked Pidge.

“Trained Blue to shit on my shoe!” Snapped Keith.

Pidge laughed. “Ha! Blue is the best… I need to train Rover to do stuff like that.”

“Can you make them do something less messy?” Asked Hunk. “I can’t sell anything if it has a bunch of animal poo on it.”

“Blue doesn’t poop that much!” Whined Lance as he put her back in her bucket of water. “Blue is fine… She poops just as much as she eats.”

Keith rolled his eyes and he cleaned his sandal. “I’d like it if you didn’t get animals to shit on me.”

“Quack!”

“Don’t listen to him Blue.” Cooed Lance. “Keef is just a big meanie. You are perfect just the way you are.”

“Teach her not to shit on people!”

“Shiro’s the one who taught her that!”

“I did not!”

“Hey!” Snapped Pidge. “Don’t make me make Hunk turn this cart around! I’ll do it! I’m mad enough to do it!”

***

It took a few days to travel all around Chameleon bay until they eventually started to see the mountains. Hunk said they would need to get on a boat to get to the Eastern air temple. Everyone was cool with that. Shiro seemed very happy to just be close to an air temple.

They didn’t go too far into the mountains since they did need to get on a boat to go to the temple. It took three days to get through the mountains to get to the air temple, but everyone was visibly excited when they saw the mountains just beyond the clouds. Shiro pointed out that a small grouping of temples was the Eastern Air temple.

“At the moment not many air nomads live there, but we’re slowly starting to come together.”

“Yeah, a genocide will do that.” Muttered Pidge.

Hunk paid a ferryman to give them passage to the island where the Eastern air temple resided. As they traveled across the water, Lance excitedly pointed out some flying bison. Everyone was excited to see such a large creature, and so many of them too. They seemed to be landing on some place halfway up the mountain.

It took half a day for the group to get halfway up the mountain. As they did so, they saw some air nomads. They said hello, and they would say high right back. The air nomads' eyes lit up a little when they saw Shiro. Clearly happy that they were seeing another fellow air nomad.

The cart twisted and winded up the mountains. A few times some flying lemurs landed on the cart before jumping off and flying away. It was kind of cute. They rounded a corner and everyone saw the Easter Air temple. It was beautiful. Three temples on three different mountains all connected by bridges. If they squinted they could see flying bison and air benders using gear to fly around.

They rounded a corner and came to a plateau where several flying bison were just walking around, eating grass and being lazy. Sitting on top of one of the bison was a tanned man with what looked like a shepherd's staff in his hand. He seemed to be yelling a warning at a younger bison that looked like it was trying to climb over a large rock

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE YOU LITTLE SHIT!” They screamed. “I’LL THROW YOU OFF THE FUCKING MOUNTAIN IF YOU DO IT AGAIN!!!”

Pidge glanced over at Shiro. “Thought you guys were all peaceful and stuff?”

“We’re mean to.” Shiro sighed. “Hunk, stop the cart… I know that guy…”

“Is that Adam?” Asked Pidge.

“Yep…” Shiro got off the cart and walked over to the man. 

The group watched Shiro approach the airbender. Adam seemed surprised to see Shiro and they talked for a few minutes before Adam waved his staff and launched Shiro through the air and back at the cart. Shiro managed to do some fancy airbending and landed in front of the cart without much trouble.

“... Are you in trouble?” Asked Lance. 

“Well I didn’t get thrown off the mountain, so probably not.”

Adam got off the bison and quickly made their way towards the group. “Hi.” He said. “So… You are Shiro’s friends?”

Pidge chuckled a little. “Well, friends might be a stretch…”

Lance lightly nudged her. “I’d like to think we are friends.”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. Adam, this is Keith, Pidge, Lance, and Hunk. Everyone, this is Adam.”

Everyone exchanged quick greetings, but Pidge was quick to point out something. “Where are your airbending tattoos?”

Adam shrugged. “I’m not really air nomad material… I’m not much of a pacifist. I passed all the airbender practicals, but the theory was so… It just wasn’t me.”

“So now you are raising bison?”

“Yep. Interested in getting close to them?”

“Do they bite?” Asked Hunk.

Adam shrugged. “Only if you stick your hand in their mouth.”

Pidge jumped out of the cart and made her way to the bison just wandering around. “Sweet! Flying bison!” She was quickly followed by Lance, and once Hunk had parked the cart a little off the road, he followed. Shiro and Keith stood back to talk to Adam.

“So how’s the flying bison raising?” Shiro asked Adam.

The other man shrugged. “It is what it is. I have to deal with really, really dumb bison like the little shit that keeps trying to climb one specific rock… Idiot… Dumb ass can’t even fly yet. Anyway, if you guys want, you can stay here for a while. I have some space in my hut, or are you going straight to the air temple?”

Shiro looked out to the flying bison just in time to see a smaller one lick Pidge and knock her over. “Yeah, that’ll be nice.”


	204. There was an attempt (X-men AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance's dad is still a dick, but not the biggest dick in chapter (but that's debatable) Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was around mid morning when Mr and Mrs McClain came to the M.Y.R.C. The only reason Keith and Lance even knew was because Kolivan and the rhino mutant, Antok, was walking with them. Keith instantly became nervous and hid behind Lance. Lance’s dad looked very uncomfortable. Which made Keith feel even more uncomfortable and nervous.

He quickly ducked away while Kolivan directed them to go to a smaller room to talk. Keith could feel his anxiety rise. He needed to call Shiro and let him know that he needed to be picked up. Everything that was happening was all his fault. He felt terrible. Maybe Lance’s parents would pull him out of school? Would they do that when he was so close to graduating? Maybe his parents would tell him that he couldn’t be friends with him anymore. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time parents had said that to their kids. One day Keith would have someone he might have considered a friend and then the next day when he tried to talk to him they would say that their parents said they weren’t allowed to anymore. He had spent years trying to figure out what he did to make people hate him before he just realized that just by existing people hated him.

“Keith? Are you okay?” It was Ulaz, one of the workers. He was a worker with the spidermonkey mutation, though he was still just as purple as the rest, but didn’t seem to have a tail.

“Yeah, I’m fine… Just wondering if there is a greyhound bus back to the school…”

The man looked towards where Lance had gone with his parents. “... Come outside with me so we can talk…”

Keith followed him outside to the parking lot. A few people were coming and going. Dropping kids off, picking kids up, and so on. They stood by a fence and watched people. Keith sighed and looked up at the sky. He was going to get kicked out of Lance’s house. He just knew it. He doubted that Krolia would let him stay in her house again. He was going to try and find a place he could hide in in the building so he could at least have a roof over his head for the night. He already had all of his stuff with him anyway.

“Hey, are you okay?” Asked Ulaz. “Do you want to talk?”

“Not really…” He muttered. “I just… I think I’m going to get kicked out of the place I’m staying…”

“Do you really think that?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… Even if I’m not, I don’t think I can stay there anymore… I… I wish there was somewhere I could go where everyone likes me…”

“Don’t you go to a school for mutants?”

“Just because everyone is a mutant there doesn’t mean I’m welcome…” Muttered Keef. “People don’t… I’m very antisocial… Makes people hate me or something…”

“...” Ulaz gently touched his head in an almost hesitant manner. He clearly wasn’t very good with this kind of stuff. “Um… There, there… Look, I know you’ve probably heard this a million times before, but it isn’t your fault you were born like this. It’s terrible that people treat you the way they do but you need to put in the effort to be friendly.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that bef-” A shiver ran down Keith’s spine. Something felt kind of off. That strange sixth sense that always seemed to kick in seconds before he’d get hit with a stick or a ball when he was younger, but it felt way worse this time. He instinctively looked around for the possible danger.

He looked back at Ulaz and saw that the man had frozen too. He looked at Keith. “You sense it too?”

“Like something bad is going to happen?”

“Yeah… Follow me…”

Keith followed Ulaz through the carpark and the hairs on the back of Keith’s neck started to raise. He had no idea what the fuck was going on. They got to a crappy looking beat up SUV close to the outdoor basketball courts where young kids were playing.

Without hesitation Ulaz took some small tools out of his pocket and started to pick the lock on the boot. “What are you doing?” Asked Keith.

“I am picking a lock.” Said Ulaz. “There is something clearly very wrong here.” The lock clicked open and Ulaz opened the boot. In the boot of the car was something that kind of looked like a propaintank with a bunch of wires sticking out of it. There were thin glass boxes taped to the sides of it filled with nails, sharp pieces of metal, and broken glass.

“... Is that a bomb?”

“Yep, and a shitty one at that.” Muttered Ulaz. He just sighed and looked around it, like it was no big deal.

“Um… Should I call a bomb squad? Get people out of here?”

Ulaz shrugged. “I guess, but that would just cause a panic.” He took out a few more tools and very carefully looked over it. “This is so poorly made… Clearly this is the work of an idiot that doesn’t know a damn thing about making explosives. I saw better bombs in third world countries… Seriously, this is shit.” Ulaz snipped a few wires then cut off the detonator with a box cutter. “You go and tell Kolivan what happened. I’m going to get the police involved.”

“R-right…” Keef quickly ran back into the building to get Kolivan.

***

Lance was still pissed off at his Papa. He was a mutant. He couldn’t change it no matter what he did or what his papa said. Things were made more awkward by the fact that Kolivan and Antok were still there.

His mama spoke first. “Lance, we really want you to come home…”

“Is Keith allowed to come back too?”

His mama shot his papa a dirty look. “Yes. Keith is welcome to come back to our home.”

His father didn’t look very happy about that. “Yeah…”

Lance glared at him. “I’m not going back home as long as he is there.”

“Please Lance, we all want you home.” She said.

“No you don’t.” Muttered Lance. “Everyone wants Lance, the normal, non mutant at home.”

His father rolled his eyes. “Where would you go anyway?”

“We do have emergency shelter for at risk individuals...” Said Antok.

Lance’s father glared at him. “What are you even doing here? This is a family matter! Get out!”

Kolivan growled a warning at him which made the McClain family freeze up in surprise and shock. “We are mediators. We give mutants that need it a voice. You are not the first, nor will you be the last toxic individual that throws their kid aside for no reason.”

The patriarch of the McClain family looked like he was going to blow a fuse. “Who are you to tell me how to talk to my fucking kid?!”

Kolivan growled at him, showing his fangs. “Let me make this very, painfully clear to you… I am a vet. I was a squad leader. I have a very, very strict code of conduct that I and everyone under my leadership follow… If there is one thing we all fucking hate with a burning passion it is child abusers.”

“I-I’m not a child a-”

“In my eyes you fucking are.” Growled Kolivan in a threatening voice. “Your son is a mutant. He can’t change that. Get over yourself. There is no cure for being a mutant and if you believe there is you’re even more stupid than you look.”

“HOW DARE YOU?!”

Keith suddenly opened the door looking very scared and nervous. “Hey um, Ulaz told me to tell you that there’s a bomb in the carpark…” The room instantly fell silent.

“Did he disarm it?” Asked Antok.

“Yes.”

“That’s good.” Said Kolivan. “Well, I guess I better call the bomb squad again. I need a stamp card or something. This is what? The third time this month?”

Lance’s mama looked horrified. “People leave bombs here?”

Kolivan shrugged and shot Lance’s father a dirty look. “Some people just hate mutants for existing.” He quickly marched out of the room followed by Antok.

Keith stood awkwardly in the doorway. Lance could instantly tell that Keith was stressed from his cat mannerisms. Ginger did similar things when she was stressed and upset too. “I… I um…” Keith quickly exited the room and walked down the hallway.

Lance instantly got up and went after him. “Keith! Are you okay?”

The cat mutant looked very, very spooked. “Lance… Someone tried to kill a bunch of mutant kids… If Ulaz didn’t know how to defuse the bomb a lot of people could have died… Like, I know people hate us but to actually plant a bomb… to try and kill a bunch of kids? I can see why some mutants go completely anti human…”

“Keith… Do you want a hug?”

Keith grabbed hold of Lance and buried his face into Lance’s shirt, he was shaking. “I… I don’t understand why people hate mutants so much… We didn’t do anything… Ulaz and Kolivan were just acting like it was a normal thing? I… I want to go back to the school… People didn’t like me there but at least no one tried to kill me…”

“Keith…” Lance held him tighter and gently ran his fingers through Keith’s hair to try and sooth him. This situation was very surreal. Lance didn’t really know what to think since he hadn’t ever been in this situation before and this threat was treated as a normal, everyday thing by the people running this place. “Can we sit on the couch for a bit?”

He nodded and the two of them sat down. After a few minutes Keith seemed to calm down enough to talk. “I… I’m sorry… This kind of stuff really shakes me up...”

“Yeah, I can imagine it… Have you… Have you been in this situation before?”

“Mostly people threatening to beat the shit out of me… Gut me like an animal… that kind of stuff… A bomb seems so senseless… And scary…”

“I’m sorry…” Said Lance as he tried to keep Keith calm. He looked around at the happy children just walking around and living their lives. None of them would ever know how close some of them might have come to getting killed or hurt.

“Why do people hate us?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Keith!” Krolia quickly went over to them. “Antok told me what happened. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah… Does this happen often?”

“... We have some issues with some people… Anti mutant groups… But the police have a record of what has happened… As long as everyone is safe, then it’s okay.”

“Do you know who might have sent a bomb here?” Asked Lance.

Krolia sighed and nodded. “Yeah, we know who it is… but we don’t have enough evidence to convince the police to go after them… We are pretty sure that a lot of people on the police force are antimutant sympathizers…”

“So, you can’t do anything?”

“We can look out for each other.” Said Krolia calmly. “We’ll have a meeting about this tonight to try and figure out what we are going to do… Keith, did you know there was a bomb somewhere?”

“Yeah I… I kind of just felt that something was wrong…”

She nodded and smiled softly at him. “That’s good. Some mutants have very strong animal instincts and can sense danger. That’s really good.”

“Thanks…”

She smiled a little at him. “Have you sorted out where you are staying tonight?”

“No…”

“You can stay at my place for another night.” Said Krolia.

“I don’t have a place to stay either.” Said Lance. Keith looked surprised when he said that. “I… I’m not going back home until my old man apologises for what he said… But at this point I doubt he will…”

“Maybe we should try and go back to the school?” Suggested Keith. “I can call Shiro…”

“Sleep on it.” Said Krolia. “You can both stay at my place.”


	205. Rumble (Modern fantasy AU XXVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a silly chapter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The sky was dark, almost black despite it being the afternoon. Lance sighed a little as he looked out the door and texted Keith to see if he needed anything from the store. Of course the potato elf asked for fries. As Lance was texting that he couldn’t bring him fries the wind picked up and a downpour started. Lance had to ask Keith to bring him an umbrella. Keith attempted to haggle to get the umbrella in exchange for fries.

Suddenly the front door opened up and in walked Sendak. He was completely soaking wet. “Evening human.”

“Hey Sendak. Damn, you’re soaked. I’ll get you a towel.”

“I’d appreciate that. It just started pouring out of nowhere anyway.”

“I’ll be back in a second.” Lance quickly walked to the back office where his sister, Veronica, was working. 

“What’s going on beanstalk?”

“Sendak got caught in the rain so I’m getting him a towel and seeing if we have some clothes he can borrow while I dry his.”

“Do we even have any clothes in his size?”

“There’s the clothes we use for Shiro when he comes in for physicals.”

“How tall is he anyway?”

“About 230cm.”

“Shit, that’s tall!”

“Yeah, I know. I’m gonna start my session with him now.”

Lance took Sendak back to the treatment room and took his wet clothes while he took the dry ones and a towel. Sendak apologised again for getting caught out in the rain like that. Lance shrugged and told him not to worry and set him up on the massage table.

“How are you feeling?” Asked Lance as he got behind Sendak and started to gently touch the cyclop’s back.

“My shoulders are stiff.”

Lance nodded and touched his shoulder. They were very tense. “Huh… You do have good muscle definition though, how has work been?”

“Pretty good actually. Cyclops are natural craftsmen. That female elf taught me some nice weapon designs.” Said Sendak. “Also made some interesting little things. Rings and stuff. I find it a challenge to make something so small… The accessories of this world are so small and kind of adorable. But since they are so small if I want to wear something like a skull ring I have to make it myself… It’s kind of funny since I’m on the small side for a giant.”

Lance paused in his massage. “... What?”

“Does that surprise you, human?”

“Well yeah? The tallest human in the world was like 272cm. So I guess it’s plausible that there are humans taller than you…”

Sendak looked confused. “Is that considered tall?” 

“Yes?”

“Oh! You mean for a human!” Sendak laughed. “A lot of titan races are actually a lot taller than me. To reduce our cost of living and to prevent needless destruction, we use magic to shrink ourselves down. Right now I’m roughly half of my maximum size.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “Y-you’re actually 460cm?! Not 230cm?!”

“Does that surprise you?”

“W-well yeah? Kind of? Wh-what about Shiro?”

“Yeah, he’s half his usual size too.”

“That’s… That’s really something…”

Sendak chuckled. “Yeah, we can revert to our original form for self-defence or when we go to war. So you probably won’t see that, Anyway, we’re getting off topic. My shoulders, human.”

“R-right…” Lance got Sendak to lay down on the massage table and he started to work on his shoulders. They were extremely tight and tense. “You know, spending a long time in the same posture causes your muscles to tighten up. Be sure to take frequent breaks.”

“I am aware of that.” Growled the cyclops.

Lance chose to ignore the threatening tone in his voice. “O-okay. You can do some stretches to help. Like tricep stretches, shoulder circles and shoulder shrugs.” Said Lance quickly. “You should target your triceps and other muscles in the shoulder to stay limber. Also eye strain can lead to stiff shoulders so keep that in mind.”

“... I only have one eye.”

“...”

“...”

“... Well it’s even more important. I take it you sit down a lot since you talked about making rings and stuff earlier, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Sitting for long periods of time also causes your butt to lock up.”

“What?”

“I mean it causes muscle stiffness in your butt.”

“That’s a thing?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. Tension in these muscles is the number one cause of sciatica.”

“What?”

“Sciatica is pain resulting from the body trying to protect the butt muscles.” Explained Lance. “The sciatic nerve threads under the piriformis muscle and when the muscles tighten up, they put pressure directly on the nerve. Pressure on that nerve causes numbness and pain. It can be severe and it’s important to try and prevent it at all costs.”

Sendak gave him an annoyed look. “And how do I do that?”

“W-well… You shouldn’t sit for too long long periods of time. You should get up at least once an hour and do some leg exercises.”

“Huh, alright.” Muttered Sendak. Lance continued to massage Sendak’s back, starting to massage Sendaks’s back when the sound of something rumbling. Sendak instantly froze up. “What was that?”

Lance paused for a moment. “Um… Sounds like Rachel moving the supply cart around…”

“Oh good… Thought it was thunder…” Muttered the cyclops. “Scared the heck-”

A loud crash and bang happened out in the hall. Lance quickly looked out into the hall and saw Rachel trying to clean up the tipped over cart. “You okay there Rachel?” He asked.

His sister nodded. “Yeah, sorry about that. It’s the cart with the wheel that gets stuck. I got this, you get back to your client.”

“Okay.” Lance sighed and closed the door. “Sorry about that Sendak. Hope that didn’t startle… you?” He was confused because Sendak was no longer on the massage table. He was on the floor and actually looked like he was terrified. “A-are you okay?”

“Th-that wasn’t thunder?”

“No? Just my sister… Are you afraid of thunder?”

“Not really thunder per say… But the lightning that follows…” Muttered Sendak. “You’d freak out a bit too if you’d been struck by lightning. Stupid conductive metal…”

“Well that was my sister not-” They heard a muffled rumbling. “-okay that was thunder… I hope it calms down by the time that Keith gets here.”

Suddenly a loud crash filled the building and Rachel ran into the room. “Hey! Are you guys okay? That wasn’t thunder was… it..?” Her eyes went wide with a mix of shock and horror at what she saw in that room.

***

Keith happily hummed to himself as he walked to Lance’s work place with an umbrella in hand. He was quietly lamenting about how Lance would be completely useless without him. Always forgetting things and getting him to do it for him. It made him some a little. It was nice to be needed.

Keith also had to admit that over the past few days things had subtly changed in their dynamic. It was so subtle that he doubted that the human noticed it, but Keith did. Lance was looking at him more and although it felt weird, it also felt nice. He needed to talk to Lance about it soon, but right now, umbrella.

He happily walked into the clinic. “Hey Lance? I got your umbrella. Still storming out there… Lance?”

Keith heard a strange noise coming from the back rooms. Curious, the elf walked into the back rooms and entered the first room that he heard noise coming from. He entered and found Sendak, in his full, no longer shrunken, cyclops form, curled up on the ground, shaking like a leaf and practically crushing Lance to death in his grip. On the floor it looked like Rachel had fainted in shock.

“N-no more thunder…” Muttered the cyclops. “N-no more lightning…”

“K-Keith!” Squeaked Lance. “H-help me!”

“... Is this what you needed the umbrella for?”


	206. Regroup (Hellpoint AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gang is back together... Traumatized but together. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Pidge and Hunk managed to make it to the library with minimal trouble. Though they both looked really shaken up. Allura tried to speak to Pige, but the green paladin just put their hand up. 

“No. Just… Don’t talk to me… Not now…” Muttered Pidge. “Just give me something to do…” Allura gestured over towards the console. Pidge took this as a chance to try and download data or find information on anything. She had to find out what the fuck happened to her. She had died. She was decapitated and she saw her own body melt away. Yet she was still herself? Right? It was frustrating. As she worked on finding out any information she heard a rather intense conversation going on behind her.

“Okay, I think we need to know a lot more about the Altaxons.” Said Hunk. “Like, I’m really, really happy that they have technology that pretty much saved Pidge’s life, but what the hell? Are we fighting space zombies?”

“Zombies?”

“Dead people that come back to life.” Informed Shiro.

“Ah, well no. There is nothing in the old religion about the creature known as a zombie.” Said Allura. “But there were two paths to the old religion, the path of penance and the path of satisfaction. The Altaxon’s were, well they took the path of penance… The majority of the planet took the path of satisfaction.”

Shiro sighed. “And the Altaxon’s took the path of penance?”

“Yes… It’s a very bloody path… It might be best if I explain what it is about when Keith and Lance get here…”

Pidge sighed a little and kept looking through the library's archives to see if she could find anything. She found some blueprints and information on the checkpoints. It would take a few ticks to figure out what was actually saying, but she would get it soon enough.

They heard footsteps approaching and quickly turned to see Lance and Keef, looking a little disheveled and worse for wear as they approached them. “So I fucking died.” Said Lance. “What about you guys?”

“Yeah, I died too.” Said Pidge.

“Who is your new friend?” Asked Allura.

Fewbar bowed. “Fewbar the junker at your service. Now I would highly suggest we all get the fuck out of here before the archetecht figures out we are here.”

“Can you explain what happened?” Asked Allura. “We talked to Null and they have been no help.”

“Null is never any help.” They muttered. “Look, I came here when everything was already like this.” They walked over to the console and brought up a map. “Okay, so the station is split into five sections; the residential area, the gardens, the factories, the prison and the temples. The prison and the temple are the largest areas followed by the factories and the gardens. The residential area is the smallest. We should head back to your ship and get out of here before this thing falls into the blackhole. The quickest way back to the docking bay is here.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Said Hunk. “Pidge and I fixed it.”

Fewbar froze. “You… You fixed it? You mean this place isn’t going to fall into the black hole and vanish from existence? ARE YOU ALL STUPID?!”

Shiro quickly stood between them. “Hey, calm down. What are you talking about? Did you sabotage the station?”

“No shit!” Fewbar was furious now. “The things I have seen here… It took me for fucking ever to take one of the shields down without an engineer finding and killing me! I had to start again every time! I was standing knee deep in a puddle of my own melted flesh by the time I got it done! I can’t fucking believe it! Now I have to do it all over again!” They started to storm away from them when Keith caught one of their arms.

“Hey! You can’t just leave. You owe us some answers! Tell us what you know!” He snapped. “Who is this architect? What have we gotten ourselves into?”

Fewbar huffed and pulled their arm out of his grip. “You’re all so stupid… This place… I don’t know if you people have a concept of a place where people go to be punished when they die, but this is that place. Only worse… There are a few monsters walking around here, but there are so many more in the other areas… I have explored around over the past few hundred deca-phoebes…”

“How long have you been stuck here?” Asked Shiro.

The alien laughed. “Like I said, a few hundred deca-phoebs… This place will not let you die for any reason… Old age, mutilation, starvation… This place will keep drawing people in if it doesn’t get sucked into the blackhole and you idiots stopped this place from getting destroyed!” They suddenly gasped. “You went down into the bowels of the station didn’t you?! You woke the engineers up, didn’t you?”

“If you mean the fuckers in the exoskeleton suits then yeah.” Muttered Pidge. “One of them… I was killed by one…”

Fewbar groaned in annoyance. “You idiots… You stupid, stupid… Well now you are all fucked… The engineers would have already scrapped your ship… That’s what they do. I blocked the transmission signal to make sure that they couldn’t receive signals. They are dormant and in a hibernative state but now… Now they are walking around again and doing their usual shit… Your ship is already scrapped by now. You’ll never fucking escape. We are all fucked.”

They stormed away from the group, muttering about how everyone was fucked and the paladin’s were stupid. They let them go. Not really sure what to say or do at this point. 

Allura quickly took leadership. “Okay, we will find them later. We need to get to Null.”

“I’d rather know what the fuck is going on here!” Snapped Keith. “Lance fucking died to some amalgimation! His body was ripped the fuck in half, and I honestly almost stebbed him again when I saw him walking around again!”

“I think I have some answers.” Said Pidge. They pulled up some blueprints and diagrams of the checkpoint system. “Okay, so from what I gather the checkpoints save our DNA, and the tags save our memories. The tags upload our memories to the nearest checkpoint when they no longer have any life signals and when that happens they rebuild our bodies with the relevant DNA that corresponds with the tag.”

“Well that kind of explains why you two didn’t die…” Said Hunk. “But, why?”

“Still working on that.” Said Pidge.

“Ritual penance…” Said Allura quietly. “The old religion used to have some extreme practices… It was said that the ancient gods of Altea used to need quintessence to survive… Kind of silly when you think about it, but it was believed by the people that took the path of penance that you could release quintessence through penance… It could involve anywhere between self flagellation to amputation…”

Shiro frowned. “I can see why it was the less popular religion.”

Allura shrugged. “It is what it is… We still need to find Null and rescue them.”

“Anyone else feel like we’re on a ship of crazy puritans?” Asked Lance. “Like, crazy space puritans?”

Hunk nervously shifted around on his feet. “Um, look… I’m going to be honest, this seems a little over our heads right now…”

“While that may be true, we still have to try and extract Null.” Said Allura. “Pidge, can you find any vital signs or anything that can lead us to Null? We need to get them out of here as quickly as possible before we encounter anything else that might try and kill us…”

***

As everyone started to go through the ship’s blueprints, Lance stood off to the side. He could feel his skin crawling at the very thought of dying again. It was horrifying. Just dying once was enough to scare him. He probably would have pissed himself in the moment if he was still attached to the lower half of his body at the time. The memory of his own death terrified him, but the realization that he would probably remember his death just as vividly as the first haunted him.

He looked at his friends and gulped. Pidge had already died, but it didn’t seem to affect her like it did him. She was so much stronger than him. He felt so pathetic. He sighed a little and looked around the room. He saw a checkpoint on the wall that he and Keith didn’t hit when they came in.

“Hey?”

Shiro looked over at him. “Yes Lance?”

“Just gonna hit the checkpoint over there…” Said Lance as he took a step towards it. “Didn’t hit it up when we got here…”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

Lance nodded a little and quickly went over to it. He felt like his legs were shaking. As he walked over to get scanned by the checkpoint. He couldn’t believe the things that he saw when they were walking around the streets with Fewbar. They had only seen a few more of those disgusting amalgamations slithering around like slugs. Just the sound they made when they moved made him want to throw up.

And what Fewbar said hadn’t made him feel any better either. The ship might be taken apart already. He was pretty sure that Pidge and Hunk could make something that could at least make it back to the castleship if they needed it. He had faith in them. He just hoped when the time came they could have faith in him. He couldn’t even imagine them having faith with him.

He went to walk back to the group when he heard the sound of something off in the distance. Down in one of the many halls of the library. Lance felt an impending sense of dread when he heard whatever it was. It sounded kind of like wet footsteps.

“...” Lance glanced over at his team, they were still talking. He knew this was probably going to bite him in the ass, but with the existence of these checkpoints it meant Lance could afford to be a little expendable. It was better that something happened to the seventh wheel then someone else.

He cautiously looked down a hall and saw something off in the distance. It looked humanoid which was a good thing, but it was kind of walking strangely and kind of looked like it had clammy white skin. Lance wasn’t too sure what it was, like if it was a hostile alien or not. He didn’t want to suddenly shoot it in case it was an alien that needed help.

Just to be cautious Lance cocked his gun and called out. “H-hey? Are you okay?”

The alien creature stood still for a few moments before they started swaying. With their feet planted firmly on the ground the creature bent over backwards and their torso peeled open. From their chest came strange petal-like organs that almost looked like wings. In the center of that mass was a mess of what looked like intestines and eyes. All of which were pointed right at him. The creatures tensed for a moment, sounding like it was breaking all of its limbs, twisting them in unnatural ways before it scuttled along the floor towards him.

Lance let out a cry surprise and horror before quickly opening fire on it. It was no surprise that the sounds he was making drew the sudden and swift action of his team. The quick and rapid fire from Hunk’s hand-held cannon quickly took the thing down.

The creature quickly went down under repeated fire and the team cautiously approached it. “What the heck is that thing?” Asked Keith as he poked at one of the petal organs.

“Doesn’t look like anything I’ve ever seen.” Said Shiro. “Allura? Do you have an idea?” The team looked towards her. The princess looked horrified. “Allura?”

“I… It can’t be… This is… Impossible…” Allura quickly ran back to the main console with the rest of the team quickly following her, leaving the corpse of the thing behind.

As they moved back Hunk put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Hey are you okay?”

“J-just peachy…” Said Lance.

“Lance…”

“Look, I’ll process this after it’s over, okay? Let’s just try and focus on the mission?”

When they got to the console Allura had pulled up a bunch of strange looking images of creatures with unusual anatomy that looked like they were carved into stone. She continued to look through it until she came to an image that kind of looked like the creature that they just killed.

“What is that?” Asked Pidge.

“It’s called Envoy…” Said Allura in a shaky voice. “They are the messengers of the gods. That one is known as an alpha envoy. The first ones that all gods use as messengers… From the ancient religion...”

“So you’re saying angels actually exist?” Asked Pidge. “This isn’t some kind of weird alien that got fucked up in the checkpoint system?”

Allura still looked very shaken up. “I… I don’t know… I guess but... I just don’t know anymore. This is too confusing...” She tried to contact Null again, but all she got was static.

This whole situation was making Lance’s skin crawl. He felt sick. He had a feeling that they weren’t just fighting against soldiers, they were fighting against something so much more. Something less tangible that they possibly understood. He felt that Allura might know something, but she didn’t know that much more than they did. Maybe Fewbar was right? Maybe they were in hell?


	207. Teaching (Witch AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith tries to do the teaching thing... Lance continues to be a seal. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith immediately regretted agreeing to teach young wicches about manna. He hated kids. They were loud, obnoxious, and if he was honest? Kind of smelled awful. Especially the boys. Did they not know what a bar of soap was? Keith wanted to rip his eyes out and set himself on fire. Though he couldn’t set himself on fire. This was so fucking annoying.

Lance seemed to be having a blast though. He was rolling around the stone floor, happily slapping the floor to make noise, or he’d roll onto his back and happily slap his belly, which made some of the kids giggle.

Shiro was there, holding Adam in his hand. Adam was still an ugly looking baby bird that screeched his head off every few seconds. It was possible that Adam hated kids too… or he was trying to speak their language, since he was technically a child at the moment too.

“Alright everyone, settle down.” Said Shiro. “Now, you have a special guest here today. This is Keith. You are to address him as Master Keith.”

“Good morning Master Keith.” Droned the children in a monotone unison.

Shiro smiled and carefully put Adam down on his desk, which he did not like. “Now as you all know I am sure you are all aware that I am light wicche and therefore my manna is associated with light. My familiar, Adam, is a phoenix and therefore his manna is associated with fire. Many wicches, once they find out what their manna is they don’t often get their familiar that deviates too far from it. Which is why I invited Keith here today.” He gestured for Keith to talk.

Keith cleared his throat a little. “Okay, so I am Keith. I am a fire wicche.” With a flick of his wrist he made flames dance across the palm of his hand. That really grabbed their attention. “So my manna is more closely connected to light and earth. When I summoned my familiar I expected to summon something like a phoenix or a wolf. I didn’t expect to summon Lance. Lance is a selkie and therefore his manna is connected to water. The opposite of mine.”

“Bwa!” Lance happily slapped the floor. Which made the kids giggle. Which made Lance slap the floor even more.

A kid put their hand up. “Master Keith?”

“Yes?”

“If he is a selkie then why does he look like a seal? I thought selkies were people that wear seal skins?”

Keith looked down at Lance and shrugged. “Selkies don’t wear clothes. They just wear their seal skins over their bodies. Lance usually ties his around his hips. Kind of like a skirt. So he’s going to stay looking like a seal”

“Is he fat?” Asked a kid. That got some of the others to giggle. Lance’s jaw dropped at how rude the kid was. He looked like he wanted to flatten the kid.

Keith just rolled his eyes. “Kid, the ocean is cold. Lance and all seals in general need that layer of fat to stay warm. He’s actually an extremely fit and healthy seal. It translates well into when he is in human form.”

“Brap?” Lance looked up at Keith and tilted his head. It was like he was asking Keith if he thought he had a nice body. Keith just ignored the sound of Lance’s questioning noise and went back to attempting to teach.

“Anyway, having one type of manna doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.” Said Keith. “Sure there is some difficulty, but we get along really well.”

A kid put their hand up. “Master Keith? What kind of difficulties are there?”

Keith looked down at Lance. The selkie looked up at him and rolled onto his side. “Well, since Lance is a higher intelligence magical creature, Lance didn’t need to have the communication spell placed on him since he already understands me and can speak in a language I understand when he’s in his human form. It was a little daunting to have him as my familiar. It was also kind of hard because my home wasn’t set up for a water based creature.”

“So manna doesn’t matter?” Asked a kid.

“It does, and it doesn’t.” Said Keef. “Like, if you want to fly you might want to be an air wicche, but there is no reason other wicche’s can’t learn how to do it. It’s just much more difficult. Being a fire wicche I am more attune to light and earth manna than plant or water… But as you can see, fire and water manna can mix together.”

Lance nodded happily and made a few happy seal sounds. It made Keith chuckle and many of the children giggled. Lance smiled as best he could in his seal form. Kind of looked a little like he was snarling. That made the kids laugh and some of them tried to imitate him. That made Lance let out a laugh, which made the kids laugh louder.

If Keith was honest, it kind of annoyed him. Lance was loud enough without hearing kids laughing too. He was pretty sure he was getting a migraine.

“Master Keith.” Said one of the students. “What if you and your familiar don’t get along?”

Keith frowned a little. He hadn’t talked to Lance about what it meant for the wicche when the wicche and familiar separated. “Well, the spell to get a familiar is kind of soup binding. If the familiar is something like a cat or a dog without any extreme magical leanings then they will stay with you forever… Since Lance is a higher magical creature he is able to decide if he does or does not want to be with me.”

“What happens if he leaves?” Asked another kid.

Keith frowns deepened. “Look… I don’t know what it’s like on the familiar’s end but… For a wicche, if we are rejected by our familiar we are… We can’t get another familiar. The bond is a kind of forever thing. The only way the bond between a wicche and familiar is broken is if one dies. Granted, if a wicche kills their familiar then their manna becomes tainted and you’ll get less familiar’s wanting to be your familiar… Without your familiar you feel empty, hollow, and just not yourself anymore… You don’t get up in the morning because you want to, it’s because you have to… A-anyway, let’s talk about something a little nicer...”

Keith continued on with his talk until the chime of a bell rang out. It scared the heck out of Lance. He kind of ended up looking like a big, round ball of shock. He was a very shook selkie. That made the kids laugh again as they grabbed their things and left the class.

When they were gone, Shiro looked over at them. “I think that went well. Looks like you have a knack for teaching.”

“Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!”

“Adam agrees.”

Keith rolled his eyes and looked down at Lance. “So, what did you think of that?”

Lance pulled his seal skin off and shrugged. “I thought it was okay. It was like being on a beach when everyone’s had their pups. Lots of screaming. Very loud… Do you really think I look fit in my human form?”

“... No comment…” Muttered Keith. “Put your skin back on. We’re heading home. We have work to do.”

“No we don’t?”

“Yes we do.” Said Keith. “Let’s go blubber butt.”

Lance gasped in fake shock and quickly on his seal skin. He was going to have to seal hop out of the building until they were far enough away for Lance to take off his seal skin and walk around without potentially scaring the little wicches. Though Lance didn’t really seem to care. He never did.

They walked home for a few minutes while talking a bit about the wicche school thing. Eventually the conversation fizzled out and Lance started a new one. “Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“You said that we were… That wicche’s feel really bad when their familiar leaves…” He said quietly. “Why did you try to get me to leave you before if it was going to hurt you?”

“Because your life is more important.” Said Keith.

Lance suddenly stopped walking, which made Keith stop walking. “What do you mean you’re not important?”

Keith shrugged and was honestly kind of confused. “I’m not important. I mean, no one really cares about me. I don’t have a family. The only one that I consider my family is Shiro, and if I was to suddenly vanish it’s not like anything would really change in the grand scheme of things. Shiro would have Adam. I’m not that even important when it comes to what I use my manna for. If I was gone someone else would take over.”

The selkie frowned and put both hands on Keith’s shoulders, staring intensely at him. “Keith. Everything down to the smallest grain of sand is important. Everything has a reason and a purpose. Shiro isn’t your only family. I am your family too… I care about you. I love you.”

Keith’s face went bright red. “Y-you what?!”

“That’s the right word, right?” Asked Lance. “My mama tells my papa that she loves him all the time, and my papa says he loves her. They tell us that they love us, and my siblings say that they love each other… so, I love you Keith.”

Keith continued to blush. “Right… I um… I guess I love you too…”

“Aw, you only guess?” Lance was pouting now.

“Yeah. Guess.”

Lance whined and leaned heavily against Keith, almost making him over balance. “Hey! Quit that.”

“Make me.”

“... Okay.” Keith stepped back and Lance fell over. 

The selkie looked shocked. “My Master is mean…”

“You’re exaggerating.” Said Keith. “Come on. We’re almost home.”

***

When they got home Keith flopped onto a chair and sighed. He seemed pretty tired. Lance would have just gone down to the river to chill, but Keith seemed kind of drained. He needed to relax a little. So Lance obviously had to help him. It was a familiar’s duty after all, and Keith was like his family.

“Hey Keith?”

“Yeah? What is it Lance?”

Lance lied on his back and patted his hands against his stomach. “Lay down with me?”

“Why?”

“Selkie thing. Trust me.”

Keith didn’t seem like he had the energy to argue and just laid down next to Lance. They both stared up at the ceiling for a minute just listening to the sounds of birds and basic nature noises outside the house. After a few more peaceful moments Lance pulled his seal skin on and started to slap his stomach.

He paused after a few minutes and looked over at Keith that was looking at him. Lance grinned and started slapping his stomach again. Before stopping and looking back over at Keith. The wicche frowned a little and lightly tapped his hands on his own stomach.

Lance made a very happy sound and continued to slap his stomach. He quickly picked up on the light thumping sound next to him. He looked over and saw Keith drumming on his own stomach. It made Lance grin and started slapping his stomach some more just out of happiness.

After a good five minutes of soft slapping sounds Keith suddenly reached out and touched Lance’s flipper. It made Lance pause and look at him. Keith had a small smile on his face. “Um, thanks. I think I needed that.”

Lance shuffled over to him a little and gently nuzzled his face. He was happy that Keith was happy. His nuzzling seemed to tickle Keith a little because he laughed, and it sounded so pretty. It made Lance’s heart skip a beat a little. Keith looked so much better when he was relaxed. He rested his head against Keith’s shoulder and tickled his neck with whiskers.

Keith laughed some more and pushed Lance’s face away. “You still have fish breath.” Lance rolled his eyes and rested his chin on Keith’s stomach. His wicche smiles and sighed. “Thanks for cheering me up… Today has been kind of stressful. We’ll just relax for the next few days. Okay?”

“Braaaargh.”

“I will take that as a yes.”


	208. Escape (Monsters and Manna AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gang continues to do what they need to do. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The team made their way to mines and thankfully were able to get an audience with the Troll that ran the mines, thanks to the talisman. However, Pike managed to fuck it all up by making a passing flirting comment at a Goblin worker that didn’t like Pike flirting with them. So now they had all been thrown into cells without their gear.

Pike and Shiro were in one cell. Meklavar and Thundar in the next. Valayun and Block in the last. Meklavar was not amused at all by any of this.

“Hey Pike?” She called.

“Yeah?”

“If we get out of here I am going to fucking strngle you with your tail!”

“Don’t threaten him like that!” Snapped Thundar. “I was going to do that!”

Pike let out an indignant noise. “I wasn’t trying to hit on them babe! I swear! I only have eyes for you!”

“I’m going to punch you!”

“Ah!”

Shiro sighed and shook his head. “Come on you guys. We have to figure a way out of this. We have no gear, no real weapons…”

“Anyone know any magic?” Asked Pike.

Valayun sighed. “I’m trying to remember if I know any spells…”

“Same.” Said Block. “There has to be some way out…”

Meklavar groaned in annoyance as she stomped around the cell. She was mad. “They took my axe! Damn it! And I want that emerald back.”

Thandar sighed. “I know… I know…” He thought for a moment before his eyes lit up. “Bolt.”

“What?” 

“I still have Bolt!” Said Thundar excitedly. “No matter where he is, if he is in range I can whistle to summon him and he can come here and get us out.”

“Brilliant plan.” Said Valayun. “However, where is Bolt’s stone? Did they take it? Where is it now?”

Thundar sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Right… Forgot about that…”

***

Out of game everyone was discussing strategies as to how they were going to escape. Hunk was looking through what spells he had and if not having his spetar changed any of his spells. Allura was wondering if she could use some form of magic to make tree roots break through the earth. Pidge wanted to punch the wall, as was Meklavar’s style.

“I could seduce the guard?” Suggested Lance.

“Like you seduced the goblin?” Asked Hunk.

“I was trying to give them a compliment!”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Well they thought you wanted to fuck them.”

Lance pouted some more and looked over at Keith. “You know I didn’t mean to babe, right?”

“I know.” Said Keith. “But Thundar doesn’t know. And he is pissed.”

Lance sighed dramatically and flopped back in his chair. “Man, relationships are hard… Wait!” He quickly sat back up and looked through his datapad. “... Coran, I’m going to send you a message. Tell me if I can or cannot do this.”

After a few seconds Coran received Lance’s message and he started to read it. The man’s eyebrows knitted together for a moment as he read what Lance had sent him. There was high tension in the air as the man contemplated this.

“Do you really want to try this?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“You have to roll very high dexterity and acrobatics.” He warned.

Lance rolled his dice and did the calculations. “... 22 for dex and… 19 for acrobatics?”

Coran closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. “Okay… That thing you are planning? You can do it.”

“Heck yeah!”

***

While everyone was talking and trying to figure out what to do, Pike was looking at the bars of the cell. He hummed and hawed a little. He touched the bars a few times and pressed his face against it. He took a deep breath and pushed against them. Without much effort, Pike managed to squeeze through.

He landed on the ground with a light thump and brushed the dust off himself. “Ha. I did it.”

“What did you do?!” Called Valayun.

“He squeezed through the bars.” Called Shiro.

“Can you see the keys?” She asked.

Pike cracked his knuckles and looked around. “Alright… Keys… keys… Keys and gear… Be back in a second.” He carefully sneaked around the cells and eventually found some of their gear on a table and the keys on a hook on the wall. He only had so many hands and could only grab a few things. He grabbed Shiro’s shield, Block’s staff, Meklavar’s extra hand axe, Valayun’s bow, Thundar’s knives, and some of his own daggers.

Sneaking back was pretty easy. The goblins were probably very busy with mining and stuff now. Too busy to deal with them anyway. He made it back to the cells and quickly freed everyone and handed them the things they found. Everyone quickly geared up, but weren’t happy they didn’t have all their things.

“Hey, that was all I could carry.” Said Pike.

“It’s better than nothing.” Said Valayun.

“The rest of the gear is over there.” Pike gestured to the area where he grabbed their things. The others quickly went and grabbed their own gear. All their stuff was there, except for the elemental stone that Bolt was currently resting in.

Thundar was upset by this. “Why isn’t he here?”

Block patted his back. “To be fair, none of our gold is here either.”

“Perhaps the troll took it?” Suggested Valayun. “Bolt’s stone is very unique.”

“Alright team, new plan.” Said Shiro. “We find the Troll, rescue Bolt, kill the Troll, get Meklavar’s emerald back.”

“Then we can save Block’s village.” Said Meklavar. “And finally get out of the underdark.”

Thundar frowned. “I still need to find out what Vankol and the rest of the Makrabork’s know about my mother… They seem to know more about me than I am comfortable with…”

Shiro put his hand on his shoulder and smiled at him. “Don’t worry. We will figure this out.”

The team nodded and quickly formulated a plan. Block, Shiro, and Valayun would go one way and try to scope out everything and try to find the Troll. Thundar, Pike, and Meklavar would mostly run distractions to keep the goblins away from the others.

It was interesting dropping smoke bombs on random goblins and having Meklavar bop them with her axe or Thundar would shoot them with an arrow. They managed to take down a group of five goblins and a few stray ones. Every fallen goblin was thoroughly searched by Thundar to check for Bolt’s stone. He was becoming increasingly more distressed with every goblin he searched.

“We’ll find him.” Said Meklavar. “Don’t worry. We won’t leave until we get him back.”

“... If we get your emerald before we find Bolt you can keep going on without me.” Said Thundar. “I’ll catch up and-”

Pike shook his head. “Nope. No way. We aren’t going to do that. We care about you. Especially me. We’re going to find Bolt and it’s going to be okay. Yeah?”

Thundar smiled at him. “Okay. We’ll find him together.”

Meklavar rolled her eyes and pulled a face. “Gross. So affectionate with each other.”

Suddenly a roar echoed through the halls and the trio quickly ran to the source. Block, Valayun, and Shiro were squaring off to fight the one eyed troll. They quickly joined the freaky and prepared for the fight.

***

“And that is where we will leave it for today.” Said Coran. “You can fight Snekdark next time.”

“Snekdark?” Questioned Hunk.

Pidge pouted. “Aw, why next time?”

“Because I need to balance out the fight.” Said Coran. “I didn’t expect you lot to reach them yet… Pike getting you all thrown into the cells was not part of the plan. Had to scrap a whole diplomatic dialogue where you could have haggled to get the emerald back.”

“Not my fault!” Claimed Lance. “They took it the wrong way.”

Pidge rolled her eyes and lightly nudged him. “Way to go Romeo. Anyway, I got some coding to get back to. Same time next week?”

“Of course.” Said Coran. “Have fun Pidge.”

Hunk stretched and stood up. “I’m gonna head down to the hanger and work on Yellow for a bit.” Everyone else parted ways after that and went off to do their own thing. Coran still stayed back and read over the rules to figure out how to balance the troll boss for a party of six.


	209. Raspberry flavoured dust (Shop AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is a dork, and Keith enters the fray! Kind of... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

For the next week Lance was single and he didn’t feel any different. The only big difference between now and then was that he didn’t have anyone to kiss or post cute couple photos on social media. He had a few more days to himself, which meant that he could spend most of his nights catching up on the documentaries that he had recorded, but didn’t have time to watch.

He marathonded hours upon hours of documentaries about space. Lance loved space. Not just loved space. He wanted to work for NASA, like his sister Veronica… However, Lance just wasn’t smart. Nowhere near as smart as his siblings. His big brother Marco was an entrepreneur who built companies and sold them for millions. Luis was an engineer making a six figure salary, Veronica was working for NASA, and his twin sister Rachel was a heart surgeon.

Lance quickly learned to accept that out of everyone in his family he was kind of destined to be the idiot and family disappointment. He was never going to go to NASA, hell, he didn’t even go to university when he graduated highschool. He didn’t want to waste his parents money on him. 

Despite that Lance still loved learning about space and the ocean. Anything about either of those things, be it fact or fiction Lance loved it. He would like to talk about some facts on some of the things he was interested in, but he just couldn’t. He didn’t want to sound condescending.

Around midday as Lance was standing behind the counter, Allura turned up with smoothies. “Hey everyone!”’ She said cheerfully as she walked through the doors. “I have a banana for Shiro, passion mango for Lance, and raspberry ripple for me.”

Shiro smiled and happily took his drink. “Thanks Allura. You know you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Nonsense.” She said. “I’d feel bad if I just got something for Lance and myself.” She happily took a sip from her drink. “Hmm, love raspberry.” 

Lance nodded a little as he drank some of his own drink. “Did you know, that given the chemical makeup, astronomers hypothesize that if you could taste the dust from the nebula that gave birth to our sun, it would taste like raspberries.”

Allura gave him a strange look. “Where did you hear that one?”

Lance’s mouth snapped shut and he quickly looked away. “I um… Just something I remembered from the last time my sister visited…” A lie. He learned it from his documentary.

“Oh, how is Veronica?” Asked Allura. “It’s been a while since I last spoke to her.”

“She’s doing well.” Said Lance. “Still looking at stars and stuff…”

“Well that’s nice.” Allura checked her watch and sighed. “Sorry boys, but I was just dropping by today. I have to get moving. See you all tomorrow.” She happily waved at them and left. 

It was still pretty quiet, so Shiro struck up a conversation with him. “So, you like space?”

“Space is cool.” Said Lance.

“What’s your favourite planet?”

“Oh, I like Neptune.” Said Lance. “It’s the smallest of the gas giants and the coldest too. Did you know it actually has rings too? It has five rings; Galle, Le Verrier, Lassell, Arago, and Adams. All named after astronomers that made important discoveries about Neptune. It-” Lance quickly snapped his mouth shut. Shiro didn’t want to hear this. “Well, that’s just what my sister told me. I still like it though. It’s blue. I like blue.”

Shiro smiled a little at him and looked through some of the new donations he got for his bookstore. He took a book out of the pile and walked over to him. “Here. You might like this.”

Lance took the book and looked down at it. It was small, thin, a little ragged and dirty looking. But it was clearly a well loved book. It was titled; 1001 facts about space. It was just a children’s book, but Lance still felt touched that Shiro would give it to him.

“How much?” He asked.

Shiro shook his head. “Oh no. Keep it. It’s yours.”

Lance could feel his face heating up. Why was Shiro this nice to him? He was so hot and sexy but he… Lance had no idea if Shiro even liked men. He might end up making a fool of himself if he tried anything. Why did his IQ drop even more when he was around hot people? At least he didn’t have to feel guilty now that he was single.

“You sure? I can pay for it.”

“Keep it as a gift.” Shiro shot him that million dollar smile and went back to sorting out the books.

It made Lance’s heart skip a beat. He wished someone would smile at him like that again soon. “Do you want to go get a drink after work?” He quickly blurted out. “Like, you can choose the place and everything.”

Shiro looked surprised for a moment before he got this look on his face that Lance could quickly read as rejection before he said anything. “Ah, sorry but I’m going to have to rain check that one Lance. I’m having dinner with my brother tonight and get him all sorted out for work tomorrow.”

“Oh… Okay…” Lance had had worse rejections. Maybe Shiro did have a brother, maybe he just didn’t want to be a rebound, but more than likely Lance wasn’t his type. He was never the type people like Shiro would go for. Shiro was handsome, smart, read books, and Lance was… Well someone once called him an airheaded pretender once, so that’s what he was. “So um… What are you helping him with?”

“Mostly directions.” Said Shiro. “He’s good at a lot of things, but following directions? He’s terrible. He’s gonna get lost on his way here.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, He’s working part time with me.” Said Shiro. “He’s gotten a few less hours at his other place and it’s not paying the bills.”

“Ah, okay. Well, I hope things work out for him.”

“Hopefully.” Shiro hummed to himself as he went about stacking his books and cataloging his new inventory.

Lance just stayed behind his counter and quietly went about his own work. He felt pretty bad that Shiro shot him down, even if it was a very valid reason. Maybe he should go out to a club and hit up a club or something?

***

Later that evening Shiro was plating up some take awake spicy chicken rice he grabbed from the food court for dinner. By the time he was done portioning things out he heard the door to his apartment open. He could immediately smell that headache inducing mix of petrol, grease, and sweat.

Shiro just sat at the table and watched the man dressed in dirty overalls walk past him and into the bathroom. After about 15 minutes the man came out and sat opposite him. The smell of the garage still stuck to his clothes, but his face and hands weren’t as grotesque as the rest of his uniform. He wiped some grit off of his fingers and onto his stitched name tag; Keith.

“So, how’s the garage?” Shiro asked Keith.

Keith shrugged. “Still trying to get full time work at the garage… Not really working out… I’m still trying.”

“Yeah… Do you still want to work with me?”

“Well, if you can still pay me a bit above minimum wage…”

“Of course. You’ll like it there.” Said Shiro as he started to eat his food. “I already told Allura you’ll be helping me out. The store is really small and you’ll really just need to come in for a few hours when you aren’t at the shop. Okay?”

“Okay…” Keith picked at his food and sighed. “You sure I can do this?”

“I cleared it with Allura, and the other guy that works there, Lance, is a pretty nice guy.” Said Shiro. “A little spacy and kind of meek at times, but he’s really nice… His girlfriend did just dump him the other day…”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Perfect. So he’s going to sulk around for weeks on end?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. He seemed really chipper today.” Said Shiro. “He asked me out for drinks tonight.”

“... Is he cute?”

“In a bubbly kind of way.”

“Gonna get drinks with him?”

“Not my type.” Said Shiro calmly. “Lance is nice but he is pretty dense… and the stuff he knows a lot about I don’t find interesting.” He liked Lance enough. He was a nice young man, but he just… Lance was just kind of dumb, or at least gave off the feeling that he was very dumb. Besides, Shiro was kind of seeing someone already. Well, he was casually dating two people. Nothing serious, but Lance was definitely not his type at all.

“Is he intolerable?” Asked Keef.

“No. He’s nice. He knows a lot of different facts. I got him to talk about space for a few minutes.” Which Shiro had to admit was very, very cute. He looked so happy talking about space and Neptune. He was a sweet guy.

Keith sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay… I don’t want to talk to him though. You know I’m not good with people.”

“It will be fine. You just need to help stack books and put price tags on things.”

“Cool.”

“Do you need me to remind you which level it’s-”

“Next to the bag shop and that shoe store, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. But do you remember-”

“Level two. I know. I’m not stupid.”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t saying you were stupid. Eat your chicken and then go and have a proper shower. I’m not gonna be happy if you show up smelling like you crawled out of a car’s exhaust pipe.”

Keith frowned and sniffed his work clothes. “I don’t smell that bad…”

“Just use my body wash.”

“Soap is fine.”

“Body wash.”

“Fine…”

Shiro shook his head and continued to eat his dinner. Keith was one stubborn man when he wanted to be.


	210. Weekend (Highschool AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dumbasses interact again! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The week went by pretty quickly for Keith and before he knew it, it was the weekend. He was spending time with Shiro at home. It was nice Adam was doing some grocery shopping. They were making pizza dough because Shiro had been craving pizza. Adam was just going out to get the toppings. If they ended up making too much dough they were going to make garlic bread too.

Keith would occasionally look up to see if Shiro was doing alright with kneading the dough. He was struggling a little, but he was doing it. It made him feel a little better to know Shiro was doing it.

“When are you getting your arm?” He asked.

“Sometime next week.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah… How are you going with that dough?”

“Pretty good.” Keith put his dough ball into a bowl and let it rise. As he did so he couldn’t help but notice something moving out of the corner of his eye. Just out of the corner of his eye. Something that happened quite often when he really needed to sleep. Little shadows scattering around in the corners of his vision. Looked like insects or fingers. It made him feel sick.

“Are you okay?”

“Just a bit tired. That’s all.”

“... How much sleep did you get last night?”

“...”

“Keith?”

“...”

“... Keith?”

“I saw the sun come up…”

Shiro sighed. “You’ve almost been up for 24 hours?”

“Yeah…”

“Go take a nap.”

“But I’m not tired…” Said Keith quietly. “And if I do go to sleep, what happens when Adam comes back? I want to make pizza with you guys…”

“You can still make pizza with us.” Said Shiro in a reassuring voice. “You can sit down on the couch for a bit. I know I’m going to.”

“Okay…”

The two of them ended up sitting on the couch while waiting for Adam to come back. Keith was having trouble keeping his eyes open. But he was going to endure. He had to stay awake. He had to spend time with his brother.

“So…” Began Shiro. “You going to invite any friends over this weekend? Go out with some people? See a movie?”

“... Not this weekend.”

“Okay.” Shiro sounded a little disappointed by this. 

Which upset Keith a little. Being the way he was, Keith had difficulty making friends let alone keeping any one for more than a day or two. He didn’t know why it was so hard, well, he did. His insomnia was terrible. His sleeping issues were terrible. All the irritability that came with being an insomniac was terrible.

“Have you almost finished your assignments?” Asked Shiro.

“Yeah, I have one or two, but after that it should just be about studying for finals.”

Shiro smiled a little and put his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “You’re a good kid. Do you have any plans for future education, or do you just want to just get a job?”

“... I don’t know.” Said Keith. “I just… I think I might work for a year… After that I think I’ll consider where I want to go with my life.”

“Okay… You know I’ll be proud of you, no matter what you choose to do with your life. Right?”

“Yeah, I know. Still thinking.”

The front door suddenly opened and Adam came in. “Back! Is the dough ready yet?”

“Yeah, the dough is rising as we speak.” Said Shiro. 

“Nice.” Adam walked into the kitchen to put things away. After a few minutes he came back out and came out to the couch. He happily sat on Shiro’s lap and grinned. “So, how was making the dough? Not too hard?”

Shiro shrugged. “Mixing the dough was a little difficult and measuring was kind of hard… But it’s okay. Keith was nice enough to help measure it out for me.”

“That’s nice.”

As they spoke it all kind of faded into white noise for Keith. He closed his eyes a little and slowly opened them. He did this a few times until he opened his eyes up to the smell of pizza and garlic bread. His heart quickly sank in his chest when he realized what had happened.

He walked into the kitchen and saw Shiro and Adam halfway through eating pizza. Keith felt really distraught as he sat at the table and quietly ate some too. He had wanted to make it with them, but he fell asleep and they didn’t wake him up. He hated his insomnia so much. He was losing out on bonding time with his brother.

“Do you have work tonight?” Asked Adam.

Keith nodded. “Yeah…”

“Did you have a nice nap?”

“... Yes. I feel better now.” Keith didn’t feel better. He wanted to make pizza with everyone. Not just eat it. He felt terrible about it. He had mentally allotted time to spend time with Shiro around his own school work and now… Well, now he had even less time this weekend.

***

Lance was in a bubbly mood. He, Hunk, and Pidge had decided to see a movie that Saturday. However, to avoid getting price gouged at the theater for snacks they quickly ducked into a convenience store near the theater.

Pidge was carefully scouring the lolly section and trying to decide if the store’s deal; two for one on jelly babies, was worth it or not. Hunk was looking at the chips and was equal parts disgusted and intrigued by some of the strange limited time flavours that were there. Lance himself was looking at the snack cakes. 

Normally he didn’t care about eating them during the movies, but either his cousins or his mama found the mini chocolate cakes he had hidden in the back of the pantry and had eaten them all. Though he suspected if his mama found them she would have given them to the cousins as a treat. Lance had specifically bought them for himself. A little treat for getting an assignment done or from doing a solid two hour study session.

The chocolate snack cakes that he really liked weren't there. There all out. That kind of sucked. He sighed loudly and like magic, Pidge was next to him.

“What are you sighing about you big baby.” They asked while trying to hold what looked like a whole rack full of lolly bags.

“I was seeing if they had any of those chocolate dipped snack cakes.” Said Lance. “The one with the fudge filling.”

“Sucks to be you. Maybe they have some in the back and just haven’t restocked it yet?” She suggested.

“Maybe… But I want them.”

“Ask the cashier if they have them?”

“I don’t want to bother them over snack cakes. That’s kind of rude.” Lance sighed. He would have to go without his snack cakes for now. “I’ll just get a drink.” Lance quickly went to the back to grab a drink and almost tripped over the cashier restocking the milk. “I am so, so sorry!”

The cashier looked up at him and Lance almost let out a squeak. Crouched on the floor, holding a huge 2L bottle of milk, was Keith. He looked just as surprised to see Lance. It was kind of awkward. Even more so when Keith slowly held up a bottle.

“Um… did you want milk?”

“... No? How long have you been working here?”

Keith just looked increasingly confused the longer Lance talked to him. “A few years… Are you looking for something specific? Skim milk perhaps?”

“What? No Keith, it’s me. Lance. From school?”

“... Oh yeah. Sorry. I don’t recognise faces that well.” He put a few more bottles away in the fridge and stood up, rubbing his hands on his apron. “So what are you up to tonight?”

“Going to the movies with my friends.” He gestured to Hunk and Pidge who were looking over the chips. “We’re stocking up on snacks.”

“Huh. Right.”

“Yeah… So you normally work this time?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I prefer to work the night shifts. I’m just restocking while Kolivan works the register.” He gestured to the scary looking man behind the counter. He was keeping an eye on them. Kind of spooky. “... Were you talking about something being out of stock before?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah. These chocolate snack cake things. You’re completely out.”

Keith frowned a little and quickly walked down to where the snack cakes were. He found the empty space and went to the store room. While he was gone, Lance went about deciding if he wanted to choose a drink here or get a giant cup of soda at the theater. As he was deciding he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around and saw Keith holding a box of the cakes he was after.

“Take one.” He said. “I’m just going to be putting them on the shelf anyway.”

Lance was shocked for a moment but grabbed one. “Thanks man. I owe you.”

“Lance!” Called Hunk from the cash register. “We need to go now or we’ll be late!”

“Be there in a second!” He looked back at Keith. “Thanks again Keith. See you at school.”

“... Okay?”

Lance quickly grabbed a candy bag and quickly paid for his things. Before following his friends out. Pidge gave one last look into the shop and made a noise of acknowledgement. “Huh.”

“What’s up?” Asked Hunk.

“Didn’t know Keith worked there.”

Hunk looked surprised and quickly looked over into the shop window. “Oh, you’re right. I didn’t even notice…”

Lance smiled happily to himself as he looked down at the snack cakes that Keith got for him. Sure it was simple and he was pretty sure Keith might have just been nice because he was at work, but Lance really appreciated it. Okay, he was going to go and actually talk to him on Monday. That’s what he was going to do. He made a promise to himself to do that…

***

Keith continued to restock the shelf with snack cakes as Kolivan made a passing comment. “You know those kids?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Said Keith. “They’re from my school. Apparently going to see a movie or something.”

Kolivan nodded and looked over his shoulder to where they kept the cigarettes. “You know… I don’t remember the last time you said you were going to go out with friends… Or mentioned hanging out with them.”

Keith shrugged and kept working. “I don’t have time to hang around with friends. I have things I need to do… Like study and make money.”

“Sounds like a lonely childhood.”

“I’m not a child.”

“You’re younger than me.” Said the much older man. “Plus you’re still in highschool. You’re still a child to me… Your brother is back, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Take a few days off. Spend more time with him.” Said Kolivan calmly. “It’ll be fine. Even if you aren’t close to a lot of people you are close to your brother, right?”

Keith couldn’t help the small smile that lightly tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah… My family is really all I have.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw something that looked like a shadow dart out across his vision. He needed to sleep more.


	211. Communication (HolyHell AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The morons talk, and Adam still wants to use his crowbar on someone! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance and Keith talked for hours. Well, it was mostly Keith talking. Lance would ask an occasional question, but that was about it. Keith was more than accommodating and went on about anything that Lance asked. He rambled on about the dichotomy of good and evil, how demons function, and most importantly, the bride thing.

“Why did you choose me?” Asked Lance. “Out of all people… Why me?”

“Because you were there.” Said Keith. “And I kind of thought you were cute… Like, not in a creepy way, but in a cute puppy kind of way… I was curious about how you would turn out and I wanted to see you again… You didn’t ask for this. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay I… So you’ve been waiting for me to become an adult?”

“Eh, not really. Most demons kind of see humans as childish creatures to begin with… and back in the day 21 was pretty much middle age. Also, I um… I might not have realized that the whole bride thing would stick since you were a kid…”

“Well it did.”

“Yeah…” Keith sighed and brushed some hair out of his face. “I… Look, I really tried to make you like me enough to fall in love with me and leave your religion and forsake your vows to the church… But nothing worked. I used all the succubus tricks but nothing happened.”

“... What succubus tricks?”

“Yeah… I entered your dreams to try and plant the seeds of lust in you.” Said Keith quietly. “Entering your dream gave me a headache.”

Lance’s face went bright red. He remembered the most intense dream he had about Keith. He could vividly remember the demon holding him in his arms. He also remembered how submissive he felt. It was embarrassing. 

Keith then flicked his tail and showed Lance the little stinger sticking out of the tip. “Succubus venom is like a super aphrodisiac. That night at the drive ins when I got into your car… I stung you but you flat out rejected me. I stung you good too. Right in the thigh.”

Lance thought back to that night and remembered the weird barb thing he pulled out of his pants. It was Keith’s stinger. Keith had tried to sting him!

“And then I tried using pheromones on you, but you just went back to gardening!” Whined Keith. “I just… How did you do that? Like, why? You have some divine protection from demons!”

Lance didn’t bother correcting Keith about how at least two of those incidents were actually due to bad luck on his part. “... You… You tried to force me into having sex with you?”

“Huh? Not really?” Now Keith looked confused. “I just… It’s just what a succubus does? No different from a spider biting a fly. Sex is what I need to survive. Not as much as a full succubus but I…” He sighed. “I still need to do it every once in a while. I won’t die like a full succubus but I can get pretty sick…”

“Is that why you were trying to have sex with me?”

“No. Sex between a demon and their bride kind of seals the pact where you and I become one.” Said Keith. “Kind of like… The human equivalent of marriage? But stronger? It’s a pretty big deal… If you don’t want to be my bride then it’s okay… I get it.”

Lance frowned a little and reached out to touch Keith’s hand. He hesitated a little, but ultimately held Keith’s hand. The demon was surprised for a second, but he happily held his hand back. He was even smiling a little.

“Keith I… Are you really going to give up on me? Why now? What made you change your mind?”

“Didn’t I explain it before?” Asked Keith. “I was beating the shit out of those assholes that insulted you and I… I just realized that I’m always going to be a demon and I’ll… One day I might hurt someone you care about and I don’t want to do that… A-anyway, how have you been?”

Lance shrugged. “Thought about a lot of stuff…”

“Yeah?”

“I… I’ve been thinking a lot about you.” And he had. Every waking moment that went by were filled with thoughts of Keith. He didn’t know if he was being influenced by some demonic force into thinking about him. He was infatuated with Keith. Keith made him smile, laugh, and he just wanted to keep being around him. He just couldn’t stay away from the demon now that he was gone.

“Good things I hope.” Said Keith quietly, though he didn’t seem very sure of himself. Maybe he was afraid of the answer?

Lance moved a little closer to him. “Yeah… Can you give me some more time? Like, come back with me. Give me some more time to fall in love with you, all of you…”

Keith looked at him with surprise. “You want to fall in love with me?” He sounded hopeful.

The pastor’s face went bright red and quickly looked away. “I… I didn’t… That’s not what I said…”

“But it was implied.”

“Maybe…”

Keith smiled a little and gently caressed Lance’s cheek. “Can I kiss you?”

“... Yes.”

***

Tex hummed happily as he occasionally looked over at the stairs. He was happy that Lance had showed up and was talking to Keith. He needed this. The sooner Keith got out of his depressive state the better. He hated seeing his son so miserable all the time.

He looked over at Adam. The demon was still looking at his crowbar and actually picking what looked like dried scalp out of it. He looked like he was happy. Tex had no idea why Shiro chose such a strange human for his bride to begin with. He was pretty quick to shed his own humanity and embrace the more violent tendencies of the demon lifestyle.

Not that it wasn’t unwelcome, it was just unexpected. Adam seemed to enjoy being a sadist. Sucked to be Shiro. Maybe he was secretly a masochist? He wouldn’t be surprised. Most demons generally fell into the category of masochist or sadist.

“Are you upset you didn’t get to bludgeon someone with your crowbar?”

“Yes… I was hoping that Lance would resist more and try to run away.” The man continued to pout. He looked very unhappy. “Stupid human… Why couldn’t he be terrified? Stupid human…”

Tex shrugged and drank a mouthful of whiskey. He should ask Krolia to send him back some nicer stuff. “Well there’s always next time… Also hitch hikers.”

“Very true… But hitch hikers are boring…”

“Well what are you going to do?” Asked Tex. “Start leaving glass out on the road and cause car crashes?”

Adam contemplated this idea for a moment before he shook his head. “Nah, don’t want to kill a kid by accident.”

“You draw the line at kid killing?”

“Only if the kid isn’t a little shit.” Said Adam. “I will kill an entitled little fuck. I’ve done it before.”

Tex rolled his eyes. Adam really relished in his revenge against his previous Master and the entire family. As far as the white humans were concerned, it was rebels from the North or slaves revolting before they headed up North to escape the South’s tyranny. He seemed to really enjoy ripping that family apart, piece by bloody piece.

Suddenly there was a loud bang, which made both demons look up. Something was happening between those two. Something loud, maybe kind of violent? Neither could feel anything like religious or holy energy, so whatever was happening Lance wasn’t fighting back.

“You think they are fighting?” Asked Adam.

“Maybe? The point is they are talking about it.” Tex smiled a little as he remembered his time getting to know Krolia. The Succubus almost killed him a few dozen times and that was just because he wanted to talk to her.

“... I kind of want to see the fight.”

“Let them be. You remember what it feels like to be young and in love, don’t you?” Asked Tex. “You find the one you’re made for, can’t keep your hands off of each other… Pushing, pulling, claws sinking into soft flesh…”

Adam nodded in agreement. “I remember my first time with Takashi… Good thing I have a thing for raw beef apparently.” He chuckled and sighed. “I miss Taka…”

“He’ll be back soon.” Said Tex. “They are on their way back now. Maybe four months? We’ll have a party.”

The sound of a door swinging open and slamming hard against the wall made the men jump in surprise. They quickly looked over to the stairs and quickly saw Keith and Lance coming down them. Much to their surprise, Keith was back to looking human and was grabbing his vest and trying to put his shoes on. He tossed a spare helmet at Lance, which the pastor fumbled, but caught it.

“And where are you boys heading off to?” Asked Adam as he looked over Lance. He seemed a little disappointed that Lance was cut and bruise free.

Keith quickly looked between Lance and the demons. “... Home.” He took Lance by the hand and quickly ran out the door with him, pretty much dragging him behind him. Minutes later they heard the rev of an engine, and looking out the window they saw Keith and Lance speeding down the driveway.

Adam sighed and sunk deeper into the couch. “Fuck… I didn’t even get to rough the pastor up a little…”

Tex laughed. “Calm down. There’s still plenty of people you can crack skulls open with your crowbar later.”

“I guess…” He sighed and finally put his crowbar down. “Look, are you okay with this?”

Tex nodded. “Of course. The second I saw Lance I knew he would make Keith happy… While I was upset that Keith made a damn child his bride I’m glad it turned out this way… I mean, if Keith had been trying to take the kid’s soul then that would have been completely different. Souls are more fun.”

“Very true.” Adam sighed loudly. “I miss Taka…”

“I know. You won’t shut the fuck up about it.” Tex went to take another mouthful of whisky. Seconds later he got a crowbar right in the forehead.


	212. Apartment (X-men AU XVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith needs cuddles! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Krolia’s place was pretty small and in one of the not so nice parts of town, but her home was very nice. All the furniture looked used and kind of like a mix of things. Nothing really matched. Lance awkwardly sat on the small two seater couch next to Keith. Krolia just happily plodded around the kitchen.

“I can’t believe she’s letting us stay…” Said Lance quietly.

Keith shrugged. He was still shaken up by the whole bomb incident. “I guess… She is pretty nice…”

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah…” Keith clearly wasn’t. He was still stressed.

Lance frowned and cautiously reached over to him and scratched behind his ear. It’s what he did with Ginger when she was stressed and she seemed to like it. Keith just sighed and closed his eyes, slumping down in his seat. He seemed to like it, so that was nice.

“You boys okay with pizza?” Called Krolia from the kitchen.

“Yeah!” Replied Lance.

“Yep!” Called Keith.

Krolia made an affirmative noise and went back to cooking There was some loud clanging and banging of pans and Lance kind of wondered if she was making things from scratch or if she was finding pans for some frozen pizza instead.

The two boys were quiet for a moment before Keith quietly spoke up. “Lance… You shouldn’t have to stay with us. You have a family and I-”

“Family doesn’t treat family like that.” Said Lance quietly. “I’m a mutant… If my dad doesn’t like it then he can shove it. Life is hard enough without shitty people doing these things… Are you sure you’re okay?”

“You don’t need to keep asking me. I’m fine. Really… Right now I’m just tired.” Said Keith quietly. He looked tired too. Possibly just emotionally drained from everything that happened today.

“Do you just want to sleep?”

“Well yeah, but I slept on the couch last night…”

“Oh… We probably should figure out sleeping arrangements…”

“I think it’s a pull out couch? We’ll have to talk to Krolia about that.”

***

After they had finished eating they moved things around the lounge room and pulled out the couch and Keith went to sleep. He curled up on a far corner of the flimsy mattress and fell asleep almost instantly. Krolia retreated into her room and Lance sat on a tattered looking recliner and watched videos on his phone.

He did that for about an hour before he went to the bathroom. It wasn’t hard to find. The apartment was pretty small. As he walked he saw some photos hanging on the wall. He recognised most of the people in the photos. Most of them were of Krolia with the other people in the M.Y.R.C. Though he was quite shocked to see how different they looked in a lot of them. They weren’t purple at all. It was odd.

There was also a relatively small photo of her and some other guy from when she was much younger. They looked happy. Maybe this was a family member? An old friend? An ex? Maybe not an ex? He didn’t know. The guy in the photo looked handsome though.

He went to the bathroom, and when he was done he walked past Krolia’s room. He heard Krolia talking to someone on her phone. He would have kept walking if he didn’t overhear a particularly interesting snippet of conversation.

“I’m pretty sure he’s our son.”

Lance frowned a little as he paused to eavesdrop a little bit. He couldn’t hear what was being said by the other person, but he could hear Krolia sighing in mild frustration.

“Because, Tex, he’s the right age, right background, and looks just like the baby I had to abandon at the hospital… Fuck I didn’t even get to abandon him. I had to give him to Kolivan and trust that he would do it.” She sniffled. “And the longer I spend time with him, the more I’m sure of it. He reminds me so much of you...”

There was more silence and Lance’s mind was racing. He was mostly confused. Maybe Krolia was talking about someone else? More than likely. He didn’t know her life. 

“For fuck’s sake Tex, I don’t fucking know.” She growled. “His name is Keith and I… He’s already an adult. What the hell am I… Don’t you think it would be weird if I gave him your number? He doesn’t even know I’m his mother… Because, Tex, if I am wrong then I don’t want him to get upset. He’s a good kid but had a hard life I… Hold on a second…”

Lance heard movement and before he could run off he felt a hand on his shoulder and he got yanked into the room by Krolia. She had her phone pressed up against her ear and looked rather unhappy to see Lance.

“Tex, I’ll call you back. Something came up.” She hung up and focused all her attention on Lance. “You know, you would make a very shitty spy.”

“I um… I-I wasn’t trying to…”

“You heard a lot didn’t you? You heard what I said to Tex?”

“Y-yeah… That you might be Keith’s mum? Is Tex his-”

“Yes. That would be his father…” She sighed a little and sat on her bed. “I can’t say for sure that Keith really is my baby, but everything fits… He does look incredibly like my son when I had to give him up…”

“Why did you have to give him up?” Asked Lance. He didn’t get it. If Krolia was a mutant then wouldn’t she be more than willing to keep her child close to her?”

“Long story short, I, along with Kolivan and the rest were forced to mutate by an evil mutant doctor called Honerva… She did things to me and Keith while he was still developing in my womb… We did escape but we weren’t taking well to our new mutations. We would get violent and hurt ourselves or each other… I was scared that we would kill him… I know how shitty the system is, but I was willing to risk that then one of us snapping and ripping him apart…”

“Couldn’t you have given him to his father?”

“At the time all of us were hiding in our safe house… Tex was over five states away. We couldn’t risk keeping him around and waiting for him. One of us would snap every other day over the dumbest things… Kolivan had just come out of a violent fit when Keith was born and volunteered to take him to a hospital.”

“And how can you be so sure it’s Keith?”

She smiled sadly. “My baby was small and purple with cat ears and a tail… He had a very distinct mutation so I was instantly suspicious about who he was… Of course I’d still need to do a DNA test to be sure it’s him but I… He’s already had such a hard life, I don’t want to stress him anymore than he already is. Please don’t tell Keith.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure… Even if he is really my child I don’t know if I want him to know.” Muttered Krolia. “I was trying to call Tex to get his opinion on it…”

“Ah...

“Yes… Oh, are you okay with sharing the sofa bed with him?”

“Yeah… I’m going to try and get some sleep now.”

“Okay. Goodnight Lance.”

“Night Krolia.” Lance quickly walked out back to the lounge room. Keith was still curled up on the far corner of the flimsy mattress. Lance awkwardly got in next to him and took up one side of the mattress. Keith didn’t move and continued to quietly sleep. Lance watched him for a few minutes. He wondered if Krolia really was Keith’s mother. It seemed like it might be the case.

***

The next morning Keith woke up early before Lance. He had awoken right next to Lance. Pressed right up against his side. It made Keith’s fur puff up in embarrassment and he quickly slinked away. He immediately missed the warmth that Lance’s body provided and headed to the kitchen.

Krolia was already in there making waffles. She looked over at him and smiled slightly. “Hey. Did you sleep alright?”

“Yeah. I did… Thanks for putting up with us for another night…”

She shrugged and handed him a cup of coffee. “It’s okay. I don’t mind having you boys here. Waffles? I only have some simple syrup and grapes to go with it.”

“Just the waffles and syrup please. Not a fan of grapes.”

“Fair enough.” She put the syrup on the table and looked back at the waffle maker. “So… Have you decided what you are going to do?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah… I think I’m going to call Shiro and ask him to come and pick me up.”

“And Lance?”

“He can come with me too if he wants I guess… He should probably still try and reconcile with his family…”

“Really?”

Keith nodded and drank some of his coffee. “Yeah… Family is important and I… I’d feel guilty if Lance and his family had a falling out because of me… Mutants are kind of good for nothing huh?”

“Keith… mutants aren’t good for nothing. Everyone is unique and special in their own way.” Said Krolia calmly. “And yes, I know some people might say that if everyone's special then no one is, but I believe that everyone has talents. Now, if you use those talents for good or evil is up to you.” She gave Keith some waffles and sat at the small dining table with him. “Also, if it’s an issue about mutants it’s a family issue. It would have bubbled up to the surface with or without you around.”

“I guess…” Keith sighed. “I just don’t want to cause problems for other people just because I exist.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean… Is Lance awake yet?”

“Not yet.”

“If he doesn’t wake up in the next fifteen minutes I’ll get him up.” Said Krolia. “Do you want to call Shiro now?”

“Yeah… After I’ve eaten.” Said Keith quietly. He quickly finished and went out into the hallway to call Shiro. It took a few seconds before he picked up. “Hey, Shiro?”

_“Hey Keith. How’s everything going?”_

“Not that good… Lance’s family is very welcoming but his dad… He doesn’t like me at all.”

_“Oh Keith…”_

“Yeah…” Keith sighed sadly. “I… I know you’re still in Australia and everything but…”

 _“We’re actually coming back tomorrow.”_ Said Shiro. _“Surprisingly more flies here than I thought, and Adam got stung by a jellyfish. So he’s a little mad about that. Where are you going to be? I’ll come and get you as soon as physically possible.”_

Keith quickly told Shiro the location of the M.Y.R.C near Lance’s home. “And um… Would it be okay if Lance comes with us too? I… I think he’s having family trouble because of me.”

_“Of course. If he wants to come with us I’m more than happy to have him come with us.”_

“Thanks… I’ll see you soon.” Keith hung up and went back inside. Lance was awake now, but looked quite wrecked as he drank coffee and ate a handful of grapes. Krolia looked quite pleased that he was up and gave Keith an expectant look. He just nodded and sat with everyone. He was kind of happy to be here with a small group of people. It was almost like a family, and that just made him feel guilty. It shouldn’t, but it did.


	213. Flying Bison (AtLA AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yip yip and all that shit. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Adam’s home was a cave carved into the side of the mountain. All his shelving was made of rock that looked like it was hand carved into the wall by hand, or air as the case might be. He got some tea ready and let Pidge raise a few small mounds of rock to make extra seats for everyone, since he only had a few benches here and there for everyone.

They sat around a table, ate some food and drank some tea. Shiro was more than happy to listen to Adam talk about what had happened since the last time he was there. He had a lot of bison stories.

“And then the dumb ass just rolled over and into the pond!” Whined Adam. “Sometimes I think these things want to die out.”

“Aw, but it was a baby.” Said Hunk. “It’s kind of cute.”

“Bison are morons.”

“What about the one you were sitting on?” Asked Pidge.

“Atlus? He’s alright.” Said Adam. “He’s an old bull. He fathered a lot of bison around here. He’s a lazy shit unless he needs to jump into action. Just wants to sit and eat grass all day.”

“Sounds perfect for you.” She said.

Adam raised his eyebrow at her. “Oh? Sassy little thing aren’t you? I like you.”

“Aren’t bison sacred to airbenders?” Asked Lance.

Adam shrugged. “Fuck them. They can be sacred but still dumb asses. Then there is this one bison, a real asshole. He’s easy to spot because he has melanism.”

Lance frowned. “What?”

“He’s black. Like, jet black.” Said Adam. “Fucker likes to headbutt everyone. Can’t tell if they are an asshole or are just playing. Anyway, you lot are heading over to the temples?”

Hunk nodded. “Yeah. I’m hoping that since a lot of the new airbender’s weren’t really born as airbenders they might like some comforts from home. You know? Um, also, are all airbenders vegetarians? I have some jerky that we can sell if they do.”

Adam shrugged. “Most are vegetarian since it’s kind of hard to get meat up here. Most of the animals up here are pretty rare and kind sacred. Can’t really kill them for food.”

“Not with that attitude you can’t.” Said Pidge.

Shiro sighed and shook his head. “Please don’t eat the bison… If you want to go and hang out with them again…”

“Sweet I’m off.” Pidge quickly got up and headed out with Rover. 

Hunk and Lance followed her out. Lance was talking about seeing if they could spot the bison with melanism. Hunk wanted to make sure that Pidge didn’t get squashed by a bison. Keith reluctantly left too, saying that the two airbenders should have time to talk about airbender stuff.

Once they were alone, Adam let out a long, slow sigh. “Well, you have an interesting group. Looks like you’ve collected the bender set.”

“I haven’t really…” Muttered Shiro. “Anyway, it’s good to see you again. How are things?”

Adam shrugged. “Can’t complain. The bison stink, but they are good company. Sometimes an airbender will come from the temple to see if they can bond with a bison… You still haven’t found one yet.”

“Just haven’t found the right connection with the right one.” Said Shiro. “Would be kind of handy to have one, but… You know.” He took a sip of his drink.

“You have commitment issues.”

Shiro spat out his drink and spluttered. “W-what? No I-”

“You left me Shiro.” Said Adam coldly. “Takashi, I’m happy you are here, but you were the one that left me. I was happy and ready to settle down with you, but you… You had to go and find yourself.”

“It’s not like I was off sleeping with other people.” Said Shiro. “I said you could come with me.”

“Yeah, after I practically begged you not to leave me.” Snapped Adam. He sighed and looked anywhere but Shiro. “I was an afterthought. You just wanted to go off on some grand adventure. I thought I was important to you. Clearly not as important as your wanderlust.”

“But I’m here now.”

“But will you stay?”

“...”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Adam looked down at his cup and frowned. “Takashi… You don’t want a partner. You want a safety net. Someone you can fall back on when you’re done having fun. I can accept and respect that, as long as you can accept that I’m not that person. What we had between us… It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Shiro felt his blood run cold. “What are you saying? You’re giving up on us?”

“I never gave up on us!” Snapped Adam. “You were the one that gave up. You just left. You made your choice clear...”

“Adam…” Shiro never wanted to hurt Adam. He just wanted to keep exploring. He was doing that since before his airbending manifested and he wanted to continue. He had just been around the Eastern Air temple at the time and did training there with Adam.

The other airbender stood up and grabbed his staff. “Look, I don’t want to make this weird. I don’t know what you told your friends about our past relationship, but we aren’t a couple. Not anymore.”

Shiro felt his heart breaking. “Adam… I… I’m so sor-”

“No. Please don’t say it.” Said Adam. “I just… I have to get back to herding…” 

He went outside leaving Shiro all alone. He didn’t understand what went wrong. Adam seemed fine with him leaving when he did. Adam even said he would be fine doing bison herding while he was exploring the world. He wandered outside and easily spotted Adam yelling at a young bison practically drowning themselves in the pond. Pidge and Hunk were hanging around a large bison that looked like it was trying to sleep. Keith was walking around and getting followed by a small flying bison and hadn’t noticed yet. Lance was walking around with his head in the air looking for the mysterious black bison.

Shiro just sighed and wandered back over to the cart. He played back everything over in his head. What could he have said? What could he have done? He didn’t think he had asked Adam to come with him as an afterthought. He had really wanted Adam to come with him, but he decided not to.

He sighed and sat back in the cart. Coming here was mostly for Keith’s benefit, but he really wanted to see Adam. Had he been treating Adam as a fallback plan for when he was done exploring the world? Maybe he was, but he didn’t think he was. Sure, he wasn’t expecting to pick things up where they left off with the man, but he still thought there might be more affection between them.

Suddenly a bison landed with a thump right in front of him. It made Shiro jump a little as the creature stared at him with its big black eyes… and it’s big black nose, face, and fur. It looked like the bison with melanism found him.

“Oh… Hey there big guy. How are you?” Shiro reached out and touched the bison’s face. Said bison grunted and leaned into his hand. It seemed to like him well enough. “So, do you think Adam hates me now? I didn’t think that…” He chuckled a little. “Yeah, I guess I didn’t think at all…” The bison grunted and sat down in front of him. He gave Shiro a knowing look and before Shiro could move, the bison licked his arm, covering it in thick saliva. “Thanks? I think?”

***

Lance continued to look around for the bison with melanism, but to no avail. He sighed heavily and went to see what Pidge and Hunk were doing. When he did he noticed a flying bison sneaking up behind Keith. He whistled to get the firebender’s attention and gestured for him to turn around.

When Keith did turn around he let out a small yelp of shock when he saw the bison. When he yelped a small flame appeared between them, which scared the small flying bison. It let out a scared cry and quickly made its way back to its mother. Keith seemed to panic and almost looked like he was going to run after it to see if it was okay, but an angry glare and grunt from the mother made him pause and his shoulders drop.

Lance sighed and approached him. “Don’t worry about it. The calf is fine. You just spooked it.”

“I could have seriously hurt it!” Snapped Keith. “Do you know how fucking dangerous fire is?”

“Yeah, no shit fire is dangerous.” Said Lance. “But you didn’t hurt it. So just take a deep break and calm down. Okay?”

Keith glared at Lance for a moment, muscles tense, before his shoulders dropped and he just looked disappointed in himself. He kind of looked like he instantly aged about 10 years. Scaring the bison really seemed to affect him.

“Yeah, whatever… I’m going to go and cool off a little…” Keith walked over to the pond and splashed some water on his face. Blue was swimming around the pond, enjoying her time. She seemed to enjoy looking at the flying bison zipping around the sky and taking drinks from the pond.

Lance walked over and stood by him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Not really…” Admitted Keith. “I… Look, it’s obvious I can’t control my firebending very well. If I get shocked or something happens I can’t control it… I… I don’t want to scare people or hurt them… And people still consider firebenders complete assholes. Especially older people that remember what the old fire lord did…”

“Well he isn’t the fire lord anymore. Zuko is. Right?”

“Yeah… How do you know about him?”

“How many times do I have to tell you? Princess Allura is my cousin. I know all the important people and the political shit.” Said Lance kind of proudly. “I’m not just a pretty face.”

Keith frowned and slowly looked Lance over with a critical eye. “Since when were you a pretty face?”

Lance gasped in shock. “You take that back!”

“Why? It’s true.”

“...” With a quick and fluid movement of his arms, Lance hit Keith with a small tidal wave of water. He completely drenched him from head to toe since he was crouching down by the edge of the pond. Keith looked pissed, so Lance took off running.

He looked over his shoulder and screamed when he saw a very wet firebender quickly closing the gap between them. Keith looked like he was either going to set his ass on fire or punch him in the face. Lance quickly looked back in front of himself to see where he was going and immediately ran into something black and fluffy. He fell on his ass and ended up looking at a huge black flying bison. It grunted at him.

“Found the black bison!” Said Lance proudly.

“Actually he found me.” Said Shiro from atop the bison. “Also, his name is Kuro.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Really? Kuro? You couldn’t think of something a little less… common?”

Shiro shrugged. “What? Kuro means black. They are black. Besides, Lance got to name his turtleduck Blue. I should be able to name my bison Kuro.”

“So he’s your bison now?” Asked Keith. 

“Yeah. We bonded.”

Lance grinned. “Congratulations man… Can I come up?” Shiro reached down and helped pull Lance up onto the bison. The animal’s fur was very soft and Lance happily spread himself out over the animal’s back. “Man, this feels like a bed back at the palace… I love it.”

Shiro laughed and grinned. “Yeah. Kuro is a good boy. Kind of grumpy, but nice. In fact, I don’t even think he’s grumpy. Just wants a little respect.”

“Yeah, I guess-”

“Whoa, you got a bison!” Said Pidge as she happily popped up next to Lance, almost giving him a heart attack.

“Don’t do that!” Snapped Lance. “How did you get here?” 

“I climbed.” She said. “Help me pull Hunk up.”

With a bit of a struggle they managed to pull Hunk up onto the back of the bison. Shiro helped Keith up. “Can we all be on his back?” Asked Hunk in a worried tone. “Like, I don’t want him to feel hurt or anything…”

“Flying bison are very strong.” Said Shiro. “It can easily fly with us on his back. He could even carry the cart to the air temple if we had enough rope.”

Adam lumbered over on the back of Atlas. “I see that you found your bison.”

Shiro’s face went bright red. “Well I wouldn’t say that I-”

Adam shook his head. “No, I can tell that you two have bonded. Even if you leave him he’s going to follow you all around the mountains and beyond. You can get a saddle at the temple.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Adam nodded in approval and scratched the spot around Atlas’ horn. “Well, it’s getting dark. You guys can stay here for the night. You can make it to the temple in the morning.”

“You sure?” Asked Hunk. “Do you have enough room?”

Adam nodded. “Yeah. If you want you can sleep in my house. I usually sleep out here, unless it rains. Fuck getting rained on.”


	214. Honey (Witch AU XVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance discovers honey and Keith kind of thinks that maybe Lance is kind of... Cute? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Little by little Keith noticed a slight change in Lance’s behaviour. Lance was sticking closer to him and when he went out to the river or out to town to get things for him, Lance would come back with a little gift for him. He’d say things like; I thought you would like it. Which was nice, but a little odd in Keith’s opinion.

He didn’t really understand what Lance was doing, but was happy that Lance was giving him things. He hadn’t really been given stuff for nothing. He just assumed that this might be familiar behaviour. Like how a dog might give their master a cool stick, or a cat might give their master a dead bird.

At the moment, the two of them were walking down the side of the river. To be more accurate, Keith was walking and Lance was swimming. Keith was collecting some herbs he was almost out of for personal use. Mostly healing balms for cuts and abrasions from his work.

Lance was very happy swimming by him. He’d usually ducked down and stirred up the mud around the riverbed. Sometimes he would come up chewing something, or he’d have a rock in his mouth.

“Having fun there?” Asked Keith when Lance came up with something that he crunched quite loudly in his mouth.

Lance looked at him and grinned at him. “Bwah!”

“That’s good.” Keith crouched down and gathered up some flowers.

“BWAH!”

Keith quickly looked up to see Lance quickly climbing out of the river and seal hopping over to a troll. Keith gulped and very cautiously got the troll’s attention. “Hey there…”

The troll looked very surprised to see both Lance and Keith. “H-hey there.” They said. “Um… Are you Lance’s wicche?”

“Yeah. Are you Hunk?”

They nodded. “Yeah. I’m Hunk… Keith, right?”

“Yeah.”

Hunk seemed to relax a little. “Good to finally meet you. What are you two doing all the way out here in the woods?”

Lance happily clapped his flippers together. “Arf!”

“I don’t speak seal buddy.” Said Hunk calmly.

Lance huffed and pulled off his seal skin, while he was doing this Keith answered. “Getting some supplies. You?”

“I’m doing a bit of gathering myself.” Said Hunk. He showed Keith a large basket he had filled with nuts, berries, and flowers. “I’m looking around for a hive to get some honey. It’s peak season for honey. Hives should be overflowing by now and if I take a few then the hives should be fine during the winter.”

Keith nodded but noticed that Hunk didn’t seem to have anything to ward off bees. “You aren’t worried about getting stung?

Hunk shook his head. “Troll skin is too thick for most insects to sting or bite us.”

“What’s honey?” Asked Lance as he finally tied his seal skin around his hips.

“It’s this really sweet stuff that bees make.” Said Hunk. “It’s really, really nice. However bees don’t really like people taking it and well… They can sting you. It hurts a lot if you don’t have skin like a troll.”

“I should show you some beekeepers some time.” Said Keith. He wondered what Lance would do if he saw a bunch of hives all lined up with the beekeepers just plodding around collecting honey. He’d probably find it odd… Then maybe knock over a hive and get attacked by a bunch of angry bees, and an angry beekeeper.

“Can we come with you?” Asked Lance. “I want to try some of this honey stuff.”

Keith shrugged. “I don’t mind if you don’t mind.”

Hunk smiled at them. “Sure. There’s a flower field a little over there. Should be a hive or two around. I just came over here to get a drink before I went back to looking for honey.”

The trio eventually made their way to the flower field. In Keith’s opinion it looked more like a meadow. Local fairies had planted them apparently. Keith wasn’t so sure if they did or didn’t, but Keith always thought it was nice and only took a few flowers if he needed them and he hadn’t been cursed yet. So he assumed that he hadn’t pissed anyone off yet.

Lance made an excited noise and took off running through the flowers. He even started making seal noises while still staying in his human form. It made both Keith and Hunk chuckle.

“So, I guess Lance is always like this?” Asked Hunk.

“Yeah. He gets really excited when he sees new things.” Said Keith. “I don’t think he’s seen this many flowers in one spot before.” They watched Lance trip and vanish in a sea of pink, blue, and purple.

After a few minutes of watching Lance do his thing, Hunk walked around the edge of the meadow, keeping an eye out for bees. Keith walked with him and the two of them quickly found a few bees hanging around a crack in a tree trunk. The crack was practically oozing with honey that was running down the tree trunk and attracting some ants.

“I think we found a beehive.” Said Hunk.

Keith nodded in agreement. “Yeah… So how are we going to get the honey? The hive is kind of… Inside?”

Hunk nodded and sighed. “Yeah… I think I’ll have to kind of pull it open…”

“With the bees still in?” Asked Keith. “Yeah, no. Let me think for a second…” He didn’t want the bees to get hurt or their home to get too messed up. He tried to remember some spells he knew that would be helpful. “... Okay, I think I can do something… Might piss the bees off a little… but shouldn’t destroy their home too badly…”

Keith took a small bottle off his hip and pulled a strip of bark off a nearby tree. He poured the powder into the bark and poured some water from his waterskin and mixed it all together to make a reddish paste. A bit more water and Keith had paint. He then went back over to the tree with the beehive in it and fingerpainted a few different symbols on it.

“What are you doing?” Asked Hunk.

“Well, these are blessings to try and improve the potency of the spell I am trying to do.” Explained Keith. “This is earth magic, but the manna is closer to plants than fire, so I need a little help to make sure I don’t accidentally start a forest fire. I’m trying to do some chlorokinesis.”

“What?”

“It basically means plant manipulation.” Keith stood up and dusted his hands off. “Anyway, so can you hold something that’s on fire?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Perfect.” Keith quickly gathered a bunch of twigs, dead grass, and strips of bark. He tied it together with some twine and handed it, along with a large, flat piece of bark to Hunk. “Here. You need to smoke them out to get them to leave.”

Hunk nodded and held the bundle out. Keith lit it on fire and stood back while Hunk carefully fanned the smoke into the opening of the hive. The bees quickly left the hive, and when Keith thought most of them were gone, Keith put his hands on the tree trunk. He visualised the layers of bark peeling back layer by later. 

He heard Hunk gasp in shock and Keith looked up to see the crack in the tree trunk peel back like the pages of a book, revealing all the tasty honey inside. Keith took the smokey brush off of Hunk and let the troll collect some of the honeycomb. Once he gathered some honeycomb, Keith used his magic to close up the tree and it looked like it had never peeled back in the first place.

“You got all the honey you want?” Asked Keith.

Hunk nodded and started to walk away from the hive, just in case the bees came back, probably. “Yeah, thank you.”

They walked back to the meadow and quickly found Lance talking to some fairies. “Shit! Hey!” He quickly made his way over to them and quickly shooed them away. “Off you go. No making deals with fairies. No making deals with selkies. Shoo.”

One of the fairies blew a raspberry at him and quickly flew away. Another quickly yanked at his hair and giggled. Keith was not amused. Fairies were fickle little things. If they were friendly they would be friendly, but if they were pissed, they would fuck you up.

“What happened?” Asked Keith. “Did they do something?”

Lance shook his head. “No. They are pretty cute. I haven’t seen fairies before. They said I smell like salt.”

“Salt? Just salt?”

“Yeah?”

Keith shook his head. “Anyway, want to try some honey?”

“Yes!” 

The two of them went over to Hunk. The Troll was sitting down and putting honeycomb into jars. He smiled at them and held some up to them. “Here. It’s pretty nice.”

Lance quickly grabbed it. “Oh! It’s sticky!”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Yeah. It’s honey. Just chew and spit out the wax… Actually, keep the wax. I’ll make a candle out of it later.”

Lance grinned and stuffed the whole honeycomb into his mouth. Both Hunka and Keith watched in fascination as Lance’s eyes lit up as he slowly chewed it. He looked super excited and actually sat down and slowly munched on it. The young selkie looked quite adorable with his skin covered in pollen and petals. It made Keith’s heart jump a little in his chest, but he quickly pushed those feelings aside.

“So, do you like honey?”

Lance nodded his head. He spat out a lump of wax and grinned. “Yeah! Can we keep bees at home? Please?”

“No.”

“What?! Why not?!”

“I’m already thinking of making a chicken coop so you can have chicken every other night without me having to buy it.” Said Keith calmly. “Plus, what if the bees decide to live in my roof?”

“Then the house belongs to the bees.”

Keith facepalmed. “Lance, I am not going to let a bunch of bees live in my house.”

“Not with that attitude.”

Keith rolled his eyes and looked over at Hunk. “Do you still need to forage?”

“Nope. Got everything I need.” Said Hunk. He grinned. “Shay is gonna love this date…”

“What’s a date?” Asked Lance as he rolled the beeswax around in his hands. 

Hunk grinned. “A date is where you go and do something special with the person you love.”

Keith could practically see the gears turning in Lance’s head as he thought about this. Lance had declared his love for him in an innocent way. Lance clearly decided that he was part of his family judging from the time he proclaimed his love for him.

“Hunk means someone you love, like how your parents love each other.”

“We can still go on a date!” Said Lance.

“No, we can’t.”

Lance pouted like a child. “Why not? Why can’t we do date things?”

Keith could feel his face heating up. “W-well we can’t. We… We aren’t dating… You’re my familiar and I’m your wicche. That’s it.”

Lance continued to pout.

Hunk awkwardly cleared his throat. “Friend date?”

“Can we do a friend date?” Asked Lance with pleading eyes. “Please? Please? Please?”

Keith sighed and quickly caved in. There was no way he could say no to Lance’s big puppy dog eyes. “Fine… I’ll think of something.” That seemed to be the right thing to say because Lance started clapping and talked at high speed to Hunk while rubbing his honey covered hands on his chest and stomach. He got a lot of grass and dirt stuck to his body.


	215. Stairwell (Highschool AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith needs more sleep! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith still didn’t manage to get enough sleep by the time it was Monday. He woke up and instantly vomited into his waste paper bin. He knew he wasn’t sick. He was just sick because he was tired. He didn’t mention anything to Shiro or Adam. They looked as tired as he felt. Shiro had another night terror and was a wreck for a few hours before they needed to get up.

He was pretty sure they didn’t notice him throwing out the plastic bin lining. He didn’t bother telling them what happened. They had their own mess to deal with. Keith just went about his morning routine and walked to the bus.

On the way there he somehow managed to walk face first into some random power pole that jumped out in front of him. He ended up with a bruised face and a bloodied nose. It was annoying, but he just shoved a tissue up his nose when he got to the bus stop and waited.

Much to Keith’s surprise, he didn’t miss his stop and was early enough to get to a bathroom to try and clean himself up. He carefully took the tissue out of his nose. Still dripping some blood but it wasn’t too bad.

That was until Keith felt a slight tingle in his other nostril and he sneezed. Blood sprayed everywhere. All over the sink, his stupid white uniform shirt and his face. “... FUCK!!!” 

Keith spent the next ten minutes trying to stop his nose from bleeding and trying to clean up the mess he had just made. Today was not his day. He didn’t end up being able to clean his shirt and ended up wearing the stupid sweater vest to cover it. Adam was going to be pissed off at him. He always complained when Keith got some blood on his clothes.

He just managed to get to class before the bell rang and slumped into his chair. Everything sucked. He wanted to die already. This week was going to suck. The only good thing was Kolivan giving him some days off. Maybe if Shiro was feeling up to it they could go for a walk after school? Hang out in the park? Maybe Adam would suggest they go to that fancy dinner thing. That would be nice. Hopefully he wouldn’t faceplant whatever food was put in front of him.

The teacher gave Keith a weird look when they walked in, but easily ignored him when Keith gave them a slight shrug. Nothing really registered with Keith going forward for the next few hours as he zombie shuffled from one classroom to the next.

He eventually found himself alone in a corridor, unsure of what the time was. He wasn’t even sure what building he was in or why he was out of class. He was just tired. So Keith found a quiet stairwell and sat on the top step. He leaned against the wall and quickly closed his eyes, falling asleep in an instant. 

He didn’t have many dreams these days. When was the last time he even dreamed? Keith didn’t know. Everything was always just an inky black filled with nothing. It was the only time Keith actually felt at peace. Darkness was nice. Though he never seemed to sleep long enough. In just a blink he’d have to get up and move again. He was just waiting for the day he could sleep longer.

***

By comparison, Lance was having a really good day. Seeing Keith come in with a bloodied nose just fueled Lance’s imagination. He already had several hours of cashier Keith taking him into the store room and frisking him down for shoplifting… And that bloody nose was doing wonders for him.

Keith would look so sexy with a bloody nose, keeping him hostage in the backroom. Fuck, he’d melt if Keith did that. Keith tying him up and keeping him in the storeroom for him to relieve his stress during the middle of his shift. Lance would totally do that.

He was also doing pretty well in his classes too, so he was pretty happy about that. But fantasizing about Keith was so much better. He was just so hot and sexy. Man, he wanted Keith to choke him out already.

He ended up having to run some papers to the office for a teacher. To try and not have to go back to class, Lance took the long way back and happened to find a rather sleepy Keith asleep on the top step.

Lance’s heart skipped a beat. Was he meant to wake him up? Admire him some more? He took a few more seconds to decide what he wanted to do, and reluctantly decided to wake him. He cleared his throat and Keith jolted awake.

“Shit!” He hissed.

“Sorry man.” Said Lance. “But if you want to sleep then maybe not the stairs?”

“Right…” Keith sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Fuck…”

“Yeah… Um… Thanks for helping me out the other day.” Said Lance quickly.

“Huh?”

‘The snack cake thing.” Said Lance. “You went to the back and grabbed me some. It was really cool of you.”

Keith’s face was blank as he blinked a few times. “Right. How was the movie?”

“Eh, it was okay. We just decided to watch a kid’s movie.” Said Lance. “There wasn’t too much on. So yeah. It was some movie about a caveman family and all that junk. It was pretty fun. What was the last movie you watched?”

“... Frankenstein.”

“The one we watched in class for English last year?”

“Yes.”

“Huh, alright.” Lance wanted to keep talking to him, but he wasn’t too sure what to say. Keith didn’t look too good. He seemed kind of sick. “Do you want me to help take you to the nurse?”

Keith thought for a moment and nodded. “Yeah. Might be a good idea…”

They walked to the sick bay and Lance offloaded Keith onto Coran. The Nurse was very thankful that Lance brought Keith over and gave him a note to give to his teacher. Keith just zombie walked to one of the beds and fell face down onto one. He looked like he instantly fell asleep as soon as his face hit the pillow.

“Is he okay?” Asked Lance.

Coran shrugged. “He just seems a little tired. I’ll talk to him a bit when he wakes up.”

“Okay…” Lance looked over at him and wondered if he really was okay.

Coran noticed Lance looking and smiled at him. “If you want to come back to check on him you can come by and check on him at lunch.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to see one of Keith’s friends popping by to check on him.” Said the cheerful man.

Lance could feel his face going red at the thought of someone thinking he was friends with the school delinquent… He was just so… and Lance was just… Lance could only mumble out a few words before he quickly left the sick bay feeling giddy. Coran thought they were friends. It would be so cool if they were friends.

When the lunch bell rang, Lance happily got up and headed to his locker. Today was the best day ever so far. Hunk seemed to notice his upbeat mood. “Did your mama make tamales?”

Lance laughed. “Nah, not today. Cousins ate them all. But like, so remember when I had to take those papers up to the office during class?”

“Yeah?”

“Well I found Keith on the stairwell and I took him to the nurse’s office.”

Hunk looked shocked. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah. Coran said I can visit him during lunch, and I am going to.”

Hunk frowned a little. “Really? Are you sure that’s a good idea? Is he even in there anymore?”

Lance shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care. You know how I feel about him.”

“Unfortunately…”

“Not just that way.” Whined Lance. “I just… Okay, most of what I like about him is the stuff I’ve made up in my head, but I really want to see him and talk to him… I still can’t talk properly to him. I want to ask him out or something…”

Hunk sighed and patted his back. “Well, good luck with that. Try not to get in over your head buddy.”

“Aw, you care about me.” Cooed Lance.

Hunk couldn’t help but smile and pat his back. “See you in a bit. Okay?”

“Yep. See you soon.” Lance put his books in his locker and grabbed his food before heading to the sick bay. Coran smiled up at him and gestured over to where Keith was still passed out. He didn’t change position from the last time he saw him. Still face down and passed out on the bed. “Is he okay?”

Coran nodded. “Yeah. Just tired. Since you’re here, I’m just going to pop out for a second to go to the bathroom. Mind watching him?”

“Of course not.”

“Thank you. Won’t be a minute.” Coran quickly left the sick bay, leaving the two of them alone.

Lance stood awkwardly around for a few seconds before he sat on the bed opposite to Keith and started to eat his lunch. This wasn’t creepy. Not really. Lance was just making sure that he was okay. He couldn’t help that he thought that Keith was really hot, and when he was sleeping he looked kind of cute.

He wanted to run his fingers through Keith’s hair and maybe braid it. He would look so sexy if his hair was tied back while he beat the shit out of him. Lance sighed a little too loud and Keith’s eyelids fluttered open.

“... You’re still here?”

“I went back to class.” Said Lance. “Coran told me to come back during lunch so I did. Coran ducked out to the bathroom.”

“Ah, okay.” Keith slowly sat up and groaned slightly. Both of them heard Keith’s stomach growling. “...”

“Want half of my sandwich?” Asked Lance. He offered the delinquent. He had no idea if Keith would accept it or not. “It’s pulled pork.” Maybe he would knock it out of his hand and tell him to piss off.

“... Thanks.” Keith took what was offered and ate it. His eyes lit up. “... Did you make this?”

“Oh, well it’s leftovers from dinner last night.” Said Lance. “My mama always cooks way too much food over the weekend and I usually make lunch from the leftovers on Monday.”

“It’s really good.” Said Keith. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve had something like this for lunch.”

“Really?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Making pulled pork takes too long, and I can’t be bothered to make my lunch in the morning. The cafeteria food is okay, but this is nicer.”

That actually warmed Lance’s heart a little. “Well it’s nothing special. Just a bit of margarine and pulled pork on bread.”

“It’s still good.” Keith quickly finished eating and actually looked a lot better now. A good meal would do that to a person. “Um… Thanks for that.” Said Keith. “I guess I needed that more than I thought.”

“Yeah.” Said Lance. “What did you even eat for breakfast?”

“Um… I didn’t…”

Lance was surprised. “You didn’t?”

“I don’t feel hungry when I wake up.”

“Maybe a breakfast drink or something?” Suggested Lance. “That might help? You’re always drinking something when you come into class anyway.”

Keith gave him a confused look. “Huh?”

“We’re in the same homeroom… You really don’t pay much attention, do you?”

Keith shrugged. “No. Not really… Um, so why did you come by to check up on me? Do I owe you money?” He asked in a joking manner.

“...” Was this happening? Was Keith going to threaten him or shake him down? He hoped so. Today had already gone so well this would just be the cherry on top. “Um, no… I… I wanted to make sure you’re okay. You were very tired so I… I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m okay.” Said Keith. He took his wallet out of his pocket and handed $5 to Lance. “Here. Since I kind of ate half your lunch…”

Lance shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy to help you.”

Keith nodded a little and closed his eyes, sighing heavily.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah… Just a migraine or something…”

“Do you need a painkiller?”

“Coran has everything locked in the medicine cabinet.” Keith lied back down on the bed and sighed. “I’ll just wait until he gets back… Fuck… Adam’s not gonna be happy about the painkillers…”

Hearing the name Adam made Lance’s throat dry up and his heart instantly sped up. He didn’t know anyone called Adam in their year. Someone from a year below them? Someone from work? That mystery man he saw Keith with that one time at the shops? He needed to steady himself for finding out that Keith was dating some older guy.

“A-Adam?”

“Yeah. My brother in law.” Said Keith as he slung his arm over his eyes. “My brother has been overseas for a long time. He’s a vet… I’ve been living with Adam. He isn’t a big fan of taking unnecessary medication. Like, he isn’t against medicine, but he’s the kind of guy that will tough it out for a few hours before taking painkillers.”

“Huh, alright…”

“Yeah…”

Lance was glad that Adam wasn’t someone Keith had a romantic relationship. One less thing to worry about. But now it was time to bite the bullet. He wanted to keep talking to Keith. He wanted to get to know him more. The only way he could do that was if he talked to him.

“H-hey… Tomorrow, do you maybe… Want to have lunch at my table with me and my friends?”

Keith moved his arm slightly and gave Lance a questioning look. “Huh?”

“I can make another pulled pork sandwich for you if you like?” Lance was not above subtle bribery to try and spend more time with Keith.

“... Okay. That sandwich is good. Your mum is a good cook.”

Lance had to hold back from making an inhuman noise of delight. “Y-yeah. Yeah she is.” He was so happy that Keith actually wanted to sit with him. He wanted to sing about how excited he was. They were gonna have lunch together tomorrow.


	216. Dolor Gardens (Hellpoint AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some exposition at the start and some gore at the end. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Before the group headed out of the library they decided to try and contact Null one more time. Much to their relief they got a response from them. Null sounded a little drowsy, but they seemed happy enough to know that they were all back together. But Allura wanted answers.

_“Oh, so you’re all together again? That’s good. So I guess you are coming to see me then?”_

“Not yet.” Said Allura. “We saw an alpha envoy. We killed it… What is going on here. We need actual answers! No more skirting around the truth. What happened?”

Null was quiet for a few ticks. _“The alpha envoy? I didn’t think they were still out there… I guess the architect has sent them out past where they were meant to be… Anyway, I assume you want to know about the consistency project?”_

“You guys actually invested in science?” Asked Pidge in an almost sarcastic tone. She was still bitter about her sudden death.

 _“Why yes we do. I am the chief scientist of this place after all.”_ They quickly brushed off Pidge’s resentment. _“Anyway, I’m in what you might consider the factory part of the station. You either have to get there by passing through the gardens, or go through the temple area and the prison to get to me. However, if you can get the tram system to work then you can get to me a lot faster and bypass the other areas and-_

“What happened here.” Said Allura more firmly. “Null, we have a right to know. I, as your fellow Altean have a right to know. Do I not? What was the consistency project?”

 _“...”_ Null sighed heavily. _“I guess I have beaten around the bush… The consistency project was a series of smaller projects meant to help us achieve godhood and pass beyond the black rainbow so we could unite with Atuvaloqu.”_

“There is no Altean god called Atuvaloqu.”

_“That’s because the rest of Altea prescribed to the idea of dual gods and bastardized the true ancient ones. We, the Altaxon’s, stuck to our god’s true nature and meaning. Your people split Atuvaloqu into two entities. They were always one… Anyway, experiments got out of hand and now we opened up a way for Atuvaloqu to enter this plane of existence… So now there is a whole host of entities from the beyond coming here from the corrupt piece of the gods gift.”_

“What’s the god’s gift?” Asked Hunk.

 _“You would have seen it when you were in the engine room. The chunks of comet that fell from the sky. It was split into six pieces. Five pieces keep the station afloat while one is kept in the prison for… well, divine experimentation. It was easier to get volunteers that wished to speed up their pannance to do so… Anyway, I-”_ The audio cut out.

Allura groaned in frustration and slammed her hands against the console. “Quiznack!”

“I’m guessing you don’t know much?” Asked Pidge.

“I have no idea what Null is talking about…” She muttered. “Okay, let’s head to the gardens and try to get to Null.”

Shiro nodded in agreement as Pidge updated their maps. “Alright team. Stay close to each other and try not to get attacked by anything. If you see something hostile you shoot it. We don’t have room for hesitation here.”

***

The group made their way to the gardens, staying close to one another. Lance was very on edge the whole time. They managed to take down a few of the abominations and a stray alpha envoy. They thankfully didn’t meet any engineers but they did find part of a skeleton near the entrance of the garden.

Lance was a little confused by this since they were meant to become some weird red sludge thing when they died. How did some skeleton suddenly appear? This didn’t seem right. He was about to voice his opinion when a Mimi hologram suddenly sprung up by the entrance to the part.

 _“Welcome to Dolor gardens!!”_ She said in a happy and peppy tone. _“Dolor boasts being able to maintain enough agriculture for the whole station while still hosting different biospheres to remind us the comforts of Altea.”_

The wave of emotions that washed over Allura’s face. She was clearly experiencing some conflicting emotions since she hadn’t seen any greenery from her home planet in over 10,000 years. It was emotional for her.

“Hey Mimi.” Said Pidge. “How long will it take for us to walk from here to the next section of the station.”

Mimi struck an overly dramatic thoughtful pose. _“Hmm, according to my calculations it would take approximately 3 varga’s to walk from here to there. However, you won’t be able to enter as that district is on complete lockdown. No one can enter or exit.”_

“How long has there been a lockdown?” Asked Shiro.

Mimi struck another thoughtful pose. _“... To the tick? Approximately 2,573,009 deca-phoebs, 2 phoebs, 3 movements, 4 quintants, 17 vargas, 20, dobosh, and 9 ticks.”_

Everyone was stunned into near silence. “That’s way past the Altean lifespan!” Said Allura. 

“What are you talking about?” Asked Keith. “You guys kind of have a pretty long lifespan in general.”

“Yes but…” She sighed. “Never mind. We’ll get answers when we meet Null.”

“What are we going to do now?” Asked Hunk. “If the factory section is in lockdown then we probably can’t get in?”

Lance looked over at Pidge. They were already looking at maps. They probably downloaded a bunch of blueprints while they were at the library. It looked like they were going to try and figure out a new way to get to the factory section of the station.

He sighed a little and looked around the buildings that bordered the gardens. He felt a growing sense of unease. If he was honest it was. Being a good Catholic boy that he was, he couldn’t help but feel like this was hell. He couldn’t really remember which circle they might be in, but he was pretty sure that he was in one of them.

“Then that settles it.” Said Shiro. “Pidge, Hunk, you two are with me. Keith and Lance, you two are with Allura. Remember to keep an eye out for anything strange and hit the checkpoints. We don’t want anyone else accidentally dying again.”

Everyone nodded in agreement and split into two groups. Lance kind of awkwardly waved at them, silently hoping that they wouldn’t get hurt. Getting murdered once was bad enough. He, Keith, and Allura walked into the garden, quickly hitting the checkpoint that was right there. It made a happy ding as it did so.

“Alright…” Said Allura. “We should be careful, as far as I am aware, if this is meant to be like Altea… They shouldn’t have anything deadly, but we should still be very careful.”

“I think we’ve been pretty careful so far.” Said Lance. “Minus the whole getting shot in half thing…”

“Yes… That…” Muttered Allura. “Anyway, we need to be careful… We don’t know what is going on here…”

Keith nodded in agreement. “Yeah… But that thing that Null was talking about… The Consistency project? Something about becoming gods, or at least immortal?”

Allura sighed. “Yes, that was one of the many mysteries about Altax… We just… There are just so many things that we don’t know about them. Their culture seems to have been completely centered around religion… It’s a complete deviation from the rest of Altea… No one even really knew anything about them… I still want to know how they got into space! They even have a trans-dimensional comet!” That fact seemed to really frustrate her. “That could have advanced the rest of Altea by deca-phoebs!”

“Well that kind of thing isn’t too uncommon.” Said Lance. “Like, back on earth there are stories of meteorites falling to earth and humans making weapons out of them and stuff.”

Keith nodded in agreement. “The comet could have fallen into Altax and they assumed the gods gave it to them. It could have even helped spurn on their want to isolate themselves. When a group of people think they have something other people don’t, they tend to become smug dicks about it.”

Allura nodded in agreement. “I think that’s any group of people in general.” 

They continued walking until they got to another checkpoint. They quickly hit it and continued on. They came to what looked like farming land, or at the very least, overgrown farmland. The field in front of them was made up of some strange blue plant, as tall as corn, with strange looking green berries growing all along the sides like tumours.

“What’s that?” Asked Lance. “Looks kind of… Weird?”

“It’s belmep.” Said Allura. “... It has been so long since I have seen it. It’s a vegetable on Altea. It was a staple…” She looked wistfully at vegetation. Clearly remembering something from her past.

Lance could kind of understand how Allura felt. Despite this place not really being Altea, it was as close as she was going to get. Altax and the Altaxons were still Altean. She had to find out what happened here and what went wrong. If something happened and he was in her position, he might feel the same.

They walked along a worn path. As they did, Lance couldn’t help but notice how a fair bit of the earth looked kind of loose. Like it had been recently tilled. Keith seemed to notice it too because he quickly pointed it out to Allura.

“Something’s been tearing up the dirt here.” He said. “Probably not farmers.”

Allura nodded in agreement. “Looks like a borous.”

Both Keith and Lance gave each other confused looks. “And what is that?”

“It’s a type of giant worm on Altea. Don’t worry. They don’t get any larger than the size of your hand.” Almost as if to contradict her, the ground started shaking and moving under their feet. Everyone froze in position. This was not good. They all shared a very concerned look.

After a few ticks of peace, Keith very slowly lifted his foot and put it down. It didn’t rumble at all. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe those borous were a lot bigger than Allura remembered.

“Hope this isn’t a tremors situation.” Muttered Lance. Both Keith and Allura gave him weird looks. “... Tremors? Kevin Bacon? Come one Keith, you have to have seen at least one tremors movie! At least the first. Before the ass blasters were put in.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” Asked Keith.

“Is this a human movie?” Asked Allura.

Lance nodded. “Yeah. These giant ancient worms hatch in the desert and when they feel vibrations in the earth they jump up and attack the thing that makes the vibrations. It’s a fun monster movie series.”

Allura sighed and shook her head. “Lance, this isn’t a movie.” She pointed to a structure over the other side of the field. “Let’s try and get to that farmhouse and figure out if we can get a little higher to scope out the area.”

The two of them quickly agreed with the Princess and slowly started to move to the farmhouse. As they did they had to stop several times because the ground shifted under their feet. It was something that made Lance hold his breath. On the sixth time though, Keith got a little cocky and moved before the movement stopped.

However when he did move, the vibrations stopped immediately. At the same time, everyone’s hearts stopped. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Then the vibrations started up again with twice the force as it did before. Lance noticed it before the others did. Something under the dirt was heading straight towards them from under the dirt. It was quickly making the dirt go from a small mound into a hill, and it was heading straight for Keith.

Lance’s body moved on instinct. In what seemed like the blink of an eye he was by Keith and pushing him out of the way. Just in time for a monstrous giant worm to breach the surface. Its mouth opening up, like the insectoid jaw of the Predator, to reveal dozens of rows of serrated looking teeth. They easily tore through flesh and bone as it practically swallowed Lance whole. It was like throwing a body into a meat grinder.

The last thing he heard before his body was completely pulverized was the horrified screams of his teammates. “LANCE!!!”


	217. New hire (Shop AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance meet! Things are... Interesting... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Like always, Lance got to the shop early and happily opened up. That night he was going to go and have dinner with his friends after work. Which was fun. He hadn’t caught up with them in about two weeks. University was pretty hectic for those two and their schedules had clashed. 

Hunk, his best friend, was a culinary genius. He worked in a five star restaurant in an apprenticeship. It was some flagship restaurant for some famous chef that had a TV show. Hunk was originally going into mechanical engineering, but his true passion was cooking. His food was amazing. He specialized in making sugar and chocolate sculptures. He made a hummingbird out of sugar glass and chocolate. It was beautiful and he was quickly on his way to being a celebrity chef himself.

Pidge, his sassy genderfluid friend (that was currently sticking to the female pronouns for the moment), was stuck in her lab coding for hours on end. She had skipped a few grades at school and was a genius. A real child prodigy that was meant for great things. Mensa level intelligence. One day they were going to make something amazing, like A.I or flying cars.

Lance was super excited that his friends were moving on with their lives. They were going on to bigger and better things and he… He was going to be selling second hand clothes for the rest of his life. Which wasn’t bad. He just… There were times where he wished he was smart enough to go to university. But he didn’t even match his twin’s GPA. She got a 4.0 and Lance had a pathetic 3.7. Everyone else in his family had managed to hold a 4.0 through their senior year but him.

He went about getting things sorted out when a customer walked through the front door. A guy in ripped jeans, an MCR, T-shirt and sporting a terrible mullet. “Sir, the store isn’t open for another ten minutes.”

The man looked over at him and gave him a quizzical look. “I’m guessing you’re Lance?”

“... Yes?”

“Cool. I’m Keith. Shiro’s brother.” He said. “I’m going to be working with him part time for a few weeks.” 

“Oh! Cool. Where’s Shiro anyway?”

“Getting coffee and a breakfast bagel.” Said Keith. “I refused to work without food.”

“Yeah, fair enough… So um, want me to show you around the place?”

Keith shook his head. “No. Shiro’s going to show me around when he gets here. He said to just hang around this section of the store until he gets here.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll um… I’ll just do the stuff then…”

“Go ahead.” Keith walked over to the bookshop end of the store and took a kindle out of his bag.

Lance was immediately interested in what Keith was reading. Though he was a little irked that Keith was using a kindle. Sure, they were convenient, but books… Books were so much nicer. He loved the feel, the weight, the smell… Things you just couldn’t get with a kindle. But they were good since you didn’t have to carry all your books with you, and you could zoom in if you wanted to.

“What are you reading?” He asked.

Keith glanced up at him for a moment before looking back at his book. “History of motorbikes. You interested in bikes?”

“Um… Not really…”

“Oh. Okay.” Keith turned his back to Lance and continued with his reading.

Lance didn’t know if he had made it awkward, but he felt like he had. So he quickly went about opening up the shop. By the time he was ready, Shiro had showed up with coffee for everyone. It was always such a delight to be around Shiro. He gave Keith his food and drink before he handed Lance his coffee.

“Um here… I still have no idea what it is you’re drinking, but the girls at the coffee shop know.” He said.

Lance shrugged and happily took a sip. “Hey, I know what I like. Tastes nice and sweet. So what are you doing today?”

Shiro gestured over to Keith. “Once he’s eaten his breakfast I’m going to show him around the shop, get him to run the register, label things... All that stuff. Nothing crazy.”

“Registers are tricky.” Said Lance. “I still have difficulty adding stuff up when people buy more than five items.” He had some trouble with dyscalculia, but that was only with lots of small numbers really. Which was bad because most of the items were $5, $10, and $25.

Shiro smiled kindly at him and nodded. “Yeah… they can be kind of hard. At least there are no coupons or anything we need to deal with.”

“Very true.” Lance looked over at Keith. He was still reading on his kindle and getting crumbs all over the counter, which annoyed Lance a lot. “Crumbs…”

Shiro looked over at the counter and frowned. “Hey! Don’t get crumbs on the books!”

Keith rolled his eyes and kept eating. “Yeah, yeah. Realx. Not like I’m getting sauce on them. They are second hand books anyway. Not like they are meant to be in mint condition or anything.”

Lance could feel himself bristle with annoyance. Yes, accidents happened, but books were precious. Keith’s disrespect for books annoyed him to no end. He just sighed and went back to making sure that everything was where it should be for work.

As the hours rolled past a few people came in. Mostly young women coming in to check out the clothes and shoes. There weren’t many people heading to the bookshop side, which was good. This was pretty good. Meant that Shiro could teach Keith what to do. He seemed to get the hang of it pretty quickly. It was good. Lance was happy to know that Keith was able to get the hang of it.

***

Everything was too easy for Keith. All Shiro did was show how the register worked and how he logged things. It was too easy. So easy in fact that he was on his kindle for most of the day. Not that he could complain. Shiro was paying him minimum wage and he hardly had to talk to anyone.

The only slightly annoying thing out of all of this was Lance. He was loud and kind of obnoxious. He laughed loudly with the women that came in and helped them find the “right colour”, whatever that meant. Keith just rolled his eyes and continued to read.

During their downtime Lance would try and kick up a conversation with him, but Keith bruised him off. He wasn’t a people person. He just wanted to read and work. That was it. He wasn’t here to make friends. He just wanted to get along with people, which is what he thought he was doing.

Lance seemed kind of sad, but he was more than happy to talk to Shiro. The boy was like an excitable puppy with the way he seemed to fawn over his brother. He wondered if Lance was hitting on Shiro. His suspicions were confirmed around lunch time when Lance was storting through some coats close to where Shiro was neatening up some books.

“So…” Began Lance. “I know you couldn’t last night because you were having dinner with Keith, but maybe this Friday we could get a drink together?” He sounded so hopeful Keith kind of felt bad for him.

“Maybe, but probably not.” Said Shiro. “I have some personal things I need to deal with so I might not be able to make it. I’d have to let you know on the day.

“Oh… Okay. So I can ask you again on Friday?”

“Sure, but don’t keep your hopes up.”

And there it was. Keith had seen that look plenty of times before, mostly on women though. Shiro was too nice for his own good. This was Shiro’s subtle way to try and let Lance down gently. Though it wasn’t too gentle in Keith’s opinion. Shiro really just needed to rip that bandaid off and just say that he didn’t like him instead of accidentally leading someone on and hurting them in the long run. Keith just shook his head as he watched Lance retreat into the backroom, quickly shooting Shiro one extra glance before he vanished. 

When he was sure that Lance couldn’t hear him he spoke up. “Wow, you’re kind of a dick, you know that, right?”

“What? What did I do?”

“Lance clearly likes you somewhat. Just tell him you don’t like him.”

“I don’t think he likes me.” Said Shiro. “He just got dumped. He just wants to talk to someone to talk to…”

“And you won’t do it?”

“... I don’t want him to like me in a romantic sense.” He muttered. “I don’t want to go out with him so early in case he decides to use me as a rebound or something… He’s nice enough but he does have a history of being a bit of a player…”

Keith kind of understood where Shiro was coming from, but it was still a stupid thing to do. “You still need to tell him you don’t like him. What are you doing Friday anyway?”

“Tinder date.”

Keith chuckled and lightly nudged his arm. “Hey, good job. Who is it with?”

“A guy called Adam.”

“Nice, very nice.”

Shiro smiled a little. “Yeah. He works as a pilot for a private company… And if that doesn’t work out I have another date on Saturday with a guy called Curtis. He works in real estate.” 

“Nice.”

“Yeah, well I’m going to head out for lunch. I’ll be back in half an hour and then you can head off for your turn. Okay?”

Keith nodded. “Sounds good. Have fun.”

Shiro smiled and happily left. A few minutes later Lance came out of the back room with some clothes. He looked around and visibly deflated when he saw that Shiro was gone before he went about tagging clothes.

“Did Shiro go to lunch?”

“Yep. Why? Did you want to go out with him or something?”

Lance’s face went bright red and he quickly turned away. “It isn’t really that… I just think he looks kind of cute… and I want to get to know him more.” He muttered. “Like, now that I’m single and everything but I… He’s straight, isn’t he?”

“Nope. Gay as a unicorn.”

“... I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say that before.”

Keith shrugged and drummed his fingers against the counter. “Yeah, well, Shiro is still gay… And I am guessing you are bisexual? Since you were apparently dating a girl but are now gunning for my brother?”

“...” Lance looked mortified. “I… I didn’t… I… Fuck… This is weird isn’t it? I’m so sorry… Your brother is just really kind and handsome I… I’ll shut up now. I’m sorry.”

Seeing as how flustered Lance was getting, made Keith chuckle. Okay, Lance might not have been very bright, but he was pretty adorable. Working here part time might not be so bad. Helped that Lance was easy on the eyes in a hipster kind of way.

“Don’t worry about it. I know that lots of people think Shiro is hot. Just… Just don’t get your hopes up. He’s casually dating a few people at the moment. So unless you’re into that kind of thing…”

“Oh… Not really…” He didn’t sound very sure of himself when he said that. 

Keith was going to say something when two people walked in. A young looking person, it was hard for Keith to tell their gender. They made a beeline straight for the books, and a heavy set man wearing a yellow bandanna. Lance immediately lit up when he saw them.

“Hunk! Pidge! Good to see you guys again. I thought we were hanging out tonight?”

The shorter person shrugged as they looked through the limited science section. “Thought we’d stop by earlier. Grab lunch and all that jazz.”

“Only if you’re ready to go on your lunch break.” Said the taller one.

“I will be when Shiro comes back.” Said Lance. They looked over at Keith and smiled. “Keith, these are my friends. Hunk and Pidge.”

Hunk grinned at him. “Hey man. Nice to meet you. Haven’t seen you around here before. New hire?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I’m Shiro’s younger brother. I wasn’t getting enough hours at the mechanics, so I’m here part time now.”

Pidge nodded and put a book on the countertop in front of him. “That’s pretty cool. Do you have any other books on robotics?”

“Not that I am aware of.” Said Keith. “It’s my first day.”

“Eh, fair enough.” They happily paid and walked over to Lance. “So what’s the latest? Did you finally figure out the secret menu at the coffee shop?”

Lance pouted. “One day I will figure out the right things to say to get a unicorn rainbow iced frappuccino!” They continued to talk and Keith went back to work. This was a pretty easy job, and Keith was pretty sure he would enjoy it.


	218. Harem fantasy (Modern fantasy AU XXIX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something strange is going on here... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Every day, just like the last, Lance woke up early in the morning squished between Keith and Lotor. It did surprise him a lot, but he was used to waking up next to his rather thick friends. So once they were all dressed and ready for school, Lance scolded them as they walked there.

“You two shouldn’t scare me like that first thing in the morning.” He muttered.

Keith just shrugged. “You’re lucky you have us to rely on. You’ve been helpless ever since your mother went on her business trip.”

“But why were you two in my bed?”

“You’d never get out of bed in the morning if we didn’t.”

Lotor made a dismissive sound as he brushed some hair back behind his shoulder. “You know, it is a pain to go to your apartment to wake you up. It would be so much easier if we just slept together.”

Lance’s face went bright red at the thought. Sleeping between the two of them? That would be just too much. “I um…”

Keith rolled his eyes and nudged him as he ate some fries. “Why are you still acting all shy around us? How many years had it been?”

Lotor nodded in agreement. “That’s right. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”

“That’s why it’s embarrassing…” Lance frowned and stopped walking. “Wait, since we were kids?” That didn’t sound right to him. He didn’t think he knew Keith and Lotor for that long. It was so weird, but he couldn’t put his finger on what made it so wrong in the first place.

“Morning!” Chimed a cheerful voice. The trio turned to see all of their school friends; Plaxum, Allura, Hunk, Romelle, Pidge, Nyma, Sendak, Narti, Ezor, Acxa, and Zethrid. Everyone said their good mornings to everyone and happily started to walk to school.

Keith smiled a little and lightly nudged Lance’s arm. “Looks like all your childhood friends are here.”

Lance nodded and kept walking, but there was something about this whole situation that just didn’t sit right with him. Did he really have this many childhood friends? Maybe he did? He couldn’t remember how he met any of them though. This was… Interesting… He also kind of felt that he was already done with school… Didn’t he live in a house with the rest of his family?

“Hey!” Said Plaxum suddenly. She was pointing an accusing finger at Lotor and Keith. “Aren’t you two getting an unfair advantage here?”

“I’m sure we have no idea what you are talking about.” Muttered Lotor bitterly.

Hunk was having none of it. “You two are already staying with Lance. We were supposed to decide the turn order today!”

“You live in the same apartment building too.” Said Sendak. “It’s not fair.” 

Everything quickly descended into loud arguing about who was spending time with Lance, which honestly confused the heck out of him. He had no idea why everyone was seemingly fighting over him. It made no sense.

Before he could defuse the situation, Acxa pulled him aside and held his arm close to her chest. Zethrid had intertwined her fingers with his hand and Ezore was practically hanging onto his back with a cup of ramen in her hand.

“Let us let them fight it out and go off on our own, shall we?” Suggested Acxa.

Ezor giggled. “Hey Lance, want some of my ramen? Let me feed you.”

“No thanks. I think I’ll pass.” He said. Zethrid suddenly squeezed his hand and Lance looked over at her. She stared at him for a few seconds before she winked at him. Which made Lance blush a little.

“STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU DELINQUENTS!!!” Yelled out a frustrated Keith.

Acxa chuckled as she looked back at the angry crowd of school children that were running towards them. “Looks like they finally noticed. Time to run.” They grabbed hold of Lance and quickly ran to the school as fast as they could.

Thankfully they let him go when they got to school, but they weren’t very happy with Lance getting taken away from them. They also didn’t seem to care about the fact that they were all standing around Lance’s desk while having their conversation.

“Geez…” Muttered Keith. “You really have to be on guard around those girls… Our best chance to charm him is on the walk to school, but they...”

“That’s rich coming from you Keith.” Muttered Pidge.

“What?!”

Allura nodded in agreement. “Pidge is right.”

Plaxum pointed a finger at him. “You and Lotor were the ones breaking the rules in the first place.”

“We all get equal time with Lance.” Said Romelle sternly. “That’s the rules!” As she was talking, Narti yawned and fell asleep against Lance’s shoulder. It almost sent the whole room into an uproar.

Lotor slammed his hands against his desk. “Hey! Why are you all standing around? The teacher shall be here any moment.” One would expect nothing less from the class president. “You’re also bothering Lance.”

Everyone grumbled and reluctantly returned to their seats. “Thanks Lotor.” Said Lance.

A light blush dusted Lotor’s cheeks. “N-no problem. You know me Lance, I’m just doing my job. Class president and all that… Yeah…”

The classroom door suddenly opened and in walked their teacher, Krolia Kogane. “Good morning class.”

“Good morning Miss Kogane.” Said the students.

Their teacher put her folder down and was about to start the lesson when she caught Lance’s eye. She paused for a moment and walked towards him. “Good morning Lance.”

“Oh, good morning Miss Kogane.” Said Lance. He wasn’t sure why he was getting singled out.

She leaned over his desk and tilted his chin up so they were staring into each other’s eyes. “Time to start homeroom, just the two of us.”

“HEY!!!” Yelled Keith. “MUM YOU PERVERT!!!”

“YOU’RE A TEACHER!!!” Yelled Lotor. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!”

Krolia shrugged. “I have a right to tutor him one-on-one when he can’t make it to school.”

“None of us are allowed to be alone with him.” Pointed out Sendak.

“It’s not allowed!” Snapped Ezor. The room quickly devolved into utter chaos with people complaining and yelling. Different insults were getting thrown around as people fought over Lance for some reason.

“Hey! Stop fighting!” Said Lance. “We have to take attendance! But while we’re on the subject, why does everyone want to be alone with me?” Everyone stopped fighting and looked at Lance like he had gone crazy. Like he had grown three heads.

“Lance, what’s going on?” Asked Hunk.

“You know why!” Said Plaxum.

“We are all madly in love with you.” Said Allura.

“Oh, that makes sense.” Said Lance. “... WAIT, WHAT?!”

“You’ve been weird today.” Said Ezor.

“Don’t tell me you forgot our promise!” Said Keith.

“What promise?!” Lance was still freaking out that everyone was apparently in love with him. That was still freaking him out.

But apparently that was the wrong thing to say because Keith looked pissed. “Lance, you idiot! The promise you made when we were kids! You promised that the person whose fat you loved the most is the one you’re going to marry!”

Lance was stunned into silence. “I… What? D-did I really…?!”

“Don’t play dumb with me, chubby chaser!”

Lotor glared at him as the aura in the room suddenly went dark. “Lance… don’t tell me you’re playing dumb because it’s too much trouble to make a decision.”

“Yeah…” 

“That has to be it…”

“We need an answer Lance…”

“We need one right now.”

“Who are you going to marry?”

Luckily, or unluckily as the case might be, before Lance could say anything Shiro performed a flying kick through the window while carrying a reluctant Moontow who was forced into a baby onesie. “Hold it!” He said firmly. “If Lance is going to marry anyone, it’s going to be me! His papa!”

“MY WHAT?!”

“I remember it like it was yesterday…” Said Shiro. “Lance proposed to me while holding a flower…”

“A parent can’t marry their child!” Snapped Keith. “This isn’t some sweet home Alabama white people bullshit! And what about your business trip!? And why did you break in through the window?”

Shiro’s expression of pleasant nostalgia suddenly became very serious. “Oh yeah! We have to get out of here right now! While you’ve been off in the rom-com world, something terrible happened!” 

He pointed out the window and everyone looked. Right there in the courtyard they saw them… Students ripped open other students and teachers… devouring their organs like they were starving.

“Wh-what?” Gasped Lance in shock. “They’re… eating each other?!”

Shiro nodded grimmly. “It’s that hot new diet supplement everyone’s talking about. If you take it and lose weight… You turn into a zombie!”

***

“Wait, hold on! Cut, cut!” High above Lance’s building, a rather sleepy dream demon by the name of Shay and her baku companion were feasting on the dreams of one Lance McClain. “Come on. Don’t turn this dream into a nightmare!” 

The baku didn’t care and continued to feed off of the zombie nightmare that Lance was currently stuck in. Currently Lance was running around and looking for weapons as the rest of his classmates were doing everything they could to protect him. The baku seemed to love this all the same and munched even more.

Shay just sighed and patted their head. “You sure do love nightmares, don’t you? But hear me out okay? Now is not the time for nightmares. There are hardly any of the purely enjoyable dreams that I like, and that is why we are here. I’ve grown tired of the dreams this world has to offer, but not this human. Because he has many friends from our world his dreams are a blend of this world and ours. It’s a one of a kind taste. Do you understand why I don’t want you to turn it into a nightmare now?”

“Herk…” Grunted the baku reluctantly.

“Aw thanks. That means so much to me.”

“Hold it right there you two!” Snapped a particularly pissed off Nyma. “I never thought that a baku and a oneiroi would team up! So you’re the reason the human’s dreams have been all weird lately. Your dreams have drained all his desires!”

Shay yawned a little. “Oh look, a satyr.”

“Shut it dream demon! I found that human first! Go find someone else!”

Shay thought for a moment before sticking her tongue out. “No way. We’re going to keep eating. Lance’s dreams are far too tasty.”

“Oh! It’s on now!” Nyma was ready to throw hands with Shay, and Shay was more than ready to do the same.

***

The next morning when Keith went to see if Lance was awake yet, the elf was surprised to see Lance asleep in his bed, squished between Nyma, an oneiroi, and a baku. Those three looked like they had been in some epic fight. Lance didn’t look too comfortable, but everyone was still asleep.

Keith turned around and quickly left the room. “... Yeah, not even going to ask.”


	219. Pillows (Monster and Manna AU XVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shortish chapter, but I hope you all like it. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With a heave and a ho, Meklavar dropped Snekdark’s head on the table in front of Vankol. The battle with the troll Snekdark was a long and dangerous one, with many near death experiences. With at least half of those deaths being on Shiro’s head. It was pretty even with pretty much everyone else. Bolt really saved the day when Thundar whistled for him. He came through in a pinch and saved the day.

So now Vankol was going to inform Thundar of his past. At least that was part of the agreement. He didn’t seem too happy about having a troll head on his coffee table though.

“Well… This is… Different.” He said. “Did you find what you needed?”

Meklavar grinned. “Yep. I got my emerald back.”

“Excellent.” Vankol then looked over at Thundar. “Now, young half elf… I believe you wish to know your heritage?”

Thundar nodded. “Yes. I… I need to know about my mother.”

Vankol nodded and leaned back in his chair. “It is tradition within the Makraborks to travel up from the Underdark to the surface. During that time your mother met your father, fell in love, and had you. She left the Makraborks seal with you so that if you ever came to the Underdark you would find us.”

“... Is my mother still around?” Asked Thundar quietly.

Vankol nodded. “She is, but she is not in the city at the moment. It will be several days before she returns. If you wish to speak with her you are all welcome to stay here. I am sure she will be more than happy to see you.”

“But why didn’t she take me with her when she left?” He asked. “Why did she leave me with my human father?”

“That is a question you will have to ask her.” Said Vankol calmly. He led the group to the bedrooms and let them go about their business for the rest of the day. 

When Pike got a moment alone with Thundar, he took him aside and sat with him on one of the large beds. Thundar seemed to be a little out of it. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I… I don’t know.” He said quietly. “I just… I’m finally going to meet her. My mother but I… What do I do? What do I say? I’m angry at her for leaving me and my father but I… There’s so much I want to talk to her about, like, Why didn’t she come to find me when my father became too old and frail to take care of himself? Why did I have to suffer this? Growing up alone in the forest… I was just a teenager when he passed. Why couldn’t she at least visit? Why did she abandon us?”

“These are things you probably need to talk to her about.” Said Pike quietly. He put his hand on Thundar’s back and gently rubbed his shoulder. “I… I know this is difficult for you, and I am so sorry that this is happening… But after this you can get some closure. Yeah?”

***

“Your mummy issues are spilling into the game.” Said Pidge.

Keith pouted and crossed his arms. “I don’t have mummy issues. Thundar just happens to be very upset that his mother abandoned him and his father when he was a baby and never came back, gave a reason for leaving, never gave any indication that she was still alive. So it’s reasonable for Thundar to feel abandoned and betrayed.”

Pidge shrugged. “... Mummy issues.”

Keith grumbled and took a long drink from his water pouch. He did not look very happy. Lance sighed dramatically and threw his arms around Keith. “Aw, it’s okay Keith. We’ll help you work through your mummy issues.” Keith continued to grumble about not having mummy issues.

Shiro just sighed. “Keith, you kind of do.”

“Oh, so now you’re ganging up on me?!”

“Yes.”

Keith grumbled and sank deeper into his chair and crossed his arms. He looked pretty grumpy about the whole situation. “Thundar’s the one with the mum issues… Not me…”

“Oh really?” Asked Pidge. “You mean to tell me that you are totally over Krolia having to go back into space?”

“... I feel so attacked right now.” Muttered Keith. “I thought this game was supposed to be fun?”

“I’m having fun.” Said Pidge. “Are you having fun Hunk?”

“Yep.”

“Allura?”

“Absolutely.”

“Coran?”

“Always.”

“See, we’re all having a good time.”

Keith glared at her. “I am going to smack you.”

“Big words from a guy with mummy issues.” They teased.

In retaliation, Keith threw a pillow at her. Also, Lance threw one at her to show solidarity with his boyfriend. Pidge took it in their stride and happily hoarded the pillows. “Ha! Now I have all the pillows! You have all fallen for my dastardly plan to hoard them all!”

Shiro gave her a disapproving look. “Pidge, what have we told you about hoarding the pillows?”

“Not to do it?”

“Yep, and what are you doing?”

“... Fight me for them.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and took a pillow from her. “My pillow now.” 

Pidge gasped in fake shock. “How could you?”

Coran cleared his throat. “Can we get back to the game? Now, Pike and Thundar were having a very heartfelt talk, correct?”

***

Thundar sighed and flopped back onto the bed. “I guess… But what if her answer is that she just didn’t want me, or think I was worthy enough to be here? Part of this family?”

Pike moved so he was laying down next to him. His tail lazily wrapping around his lover’s ankle. “Then she isn’t worthy of your time. You’ll get your closure and you’ll move on. Besides, I think we’re all interested in heading back to Block’s village and lifting the curse.”

Thundar sighed a little and ran his fingers over Pike’s chest. “I guess… What if she does approve of me but not you? Like, what if she wants me in her life but only if you are not? What happens then I… I don’t want to lose you…”

“You won’t lose me.” Said Pike quietly. “I promise you that. On my tail I promise you.”

“On your tail?”

“Well it’s a balance thing with me. Without it I’m not as stealthy as I should be.” Said Pike. He leaned forward and gently kissed him. “Thundar, I love you. Whatever you decide, I’ll respect it.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” He kissed him again, and again, and again. “Yes. A thousand times yes. If you want me to stay with you then I will stay with you. If you want me to leave then I will leave… But I’ll always come back for you, because I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Thundar kissed him again and moved them so he was straddling Pike’s hips. He smiled down at him as he took off his own shirt.

Pike was very pleased by this development as he ran his hand over Thundar’s well toned stomach. “What’s all this then?” He asked in an amused voice. “Wanna have some fun with me?”

“Well we have a few hours until someone comes by to check on us.” Said Thundar with a smirk. “Might as well have some fun for a while.”

“Gods I love you so much.”

***

“You two are doing this because I brought up the mummy issues thing, aren’t you?” Grumbled Pidge.

Keith and Lance looked at each other, then back at Pidge. “Yes.”


	220. Ring scars (HolyHell AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last chapter of the HolyHell AU. Hope you all enjoyed it. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It took a few days for the two of them to get back to Lance’s home. When they did, things were a little awkward. Not that it could have been less awkward. They still needed to talk. Find some understanding between the two of them. Which was becoming increasingly difficult. Just for the simple fact that it was awkward.

They got back to Lance’s home. Keith nodded that it didn’t look any different from when he was there last. Though, when he did walk into the room, Lance did take down a few crucifixes that were hung up in the lounge room and stowed them away in a drawer.

“Do you need me to take them all down?”

“No, you can keep them up.” Said Keith. “A religious object only has as much power as a person gives it. These objects are powered by human faith. The stronger the faith the stronger and more powerful the object. You believe that these things will protect you from demons so they will.”

“Oh… Sorry… I um…” Lance continued to put them away. He continued to put things away until he felt that he had put enough stuff away. Keith noted that he didn’t put away the statue of Mary or baby Jesus.

Keith walked up to him and held his hand. “You don’t need to put it all away…”

Lance looked over at him and smiled at him slightly. “Yeah… Can you drop your human disguise? I want to see you. The real you.”

Hearing that made Keith’s heart flutter a little in his chest. He let his disguise fall away and let Lance see what he fully looked like in a better light. He did feel a little worried that Lance might not like him at all. Humans did tend to scream and run from him when they saw his real form.

Lance smiled at him, and gently touched his face, running his thumb over the rough scales on his cheekbones. He leaned forward and kissed him. “You look good.”

“Not scary?”

“Well, a little spooky, but not something I would have nightmares about.” He paused for a moment. “Do demons want to be scary?”

“Well… It depends.” Said Keith. “Mostly on what the demon wants. I’m a mix of a trickster demon and a succubus, so I look like this. Still human, but still very demonic.”

“I think it looks good… Can I kiss you again?”

Keith smiled and cupped the Pastor’s face, gently kissing him. Lance’s lips were a little chapped, but soft. It felt so perfect and right. Lance was perfect. His bride. Well, not really his bride yet, but willing to become his bride. He could kiss Lance all day.

But Lance pulled away. “Keith…”

“Too much?”

“No I… We need to talk… I like my job. I really do. I don’t want to give up being a Pastor… I’m pretty sure that this relationship is going to really condemn me to hell…” He muttered.

“Maybe. I don’t really know what happens when humans die…” Said Keith. “But I’ll do what I can to prevent that… And if you still want to be a Pastor then I won’t say anything against it.”

“It just feels so hypocritical now…”

“You preach about love, right?” Asked Keith. “You talk about love and your god’s forgiveness? It’s not like you’re some hateful preacher that preys on the weak and vulnerable. You’re a good man.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.” He kissed Lance’s forehead. “But I have a bit of a confession… I want to help you around the church. Like, preferably doing stuff outside. Being inside for too long will give me a headache...”

Lance nodded a little as he thought about this. “Maybe you could help me garden? I can show you how to do that… And maybe you can start working at the op shop again? It might be a little hard since you kind of vanished…”

“I think I had a valid reason to leave.”

“I’m not going to tell a little old lady that you turned into a demon and flew away like a scared child.”

“I wasn’t scared…” Muttered Keith. “Just concerned that you would beat me with a crucifix…”

Lance looked like he was about to rebuff him, but he stopped himself. “Anyway, let’s have something to eat. It’s kind of dinner time anyway. You okay with pasta and tinned sauce?”

“Sure… Can I help?”

Lance smiled and led Keith into the kitchen. Making dinner together was a nice experience and Keith really enjoyed physically being himself while Lance was with him. It was very domestic and calming. For the first time in a long time, Keith felt at peace.

They ate dinner together, sharing coy glances at one another. It made Keith’s heart flutter in his chest. After which the two of them went to bed. Though Keith initially went to his old room until Lance gently pulled him into his own. Keith was pleasantly surprised and watched as Lance went about removing the religious paraphernalia. 

Keith sat on his bed and watched him move around the room. He knew his gaze was probably predatory, but sharing a bed with a human, his human, the one he has chosen to be his bride. His succubus instincts were telling him to bring Lance into the bed and immediately bed him and claim him. But touching him and kissing would do for now.

“Do you have a headache?” Asked Lance.

“Hmm?”

“I took all the things out of the room. Religious stuff gives you a headache, right?”

“I feel fine. Thank you.” Said Keith. He reached out for Lance, beaconing him towards him. “Come to me.”

Lance smiled at him and went to him. He embraced Keith and in turn, Keith embraced him. He shielded him with his wings. Within the safety of his wing cocoon Keith gently kissed along Lance’s jawline and down his neck. He lightly nipped along his jawline to make Lance moan.

That spurred Keith on more as he ran his hands over Lance’s body. He took some time to quickly take his gloves off so he could have as much skin contact with Lance’s body as possible.

“Keith…” Moaned Lance in a breathy voice. “Not below my waist… Not yet…”

“Still gotta wait for you?” Purred the demon.

“Yeah… Demons move really fast huh?”

“Hmm, yeah.” Keith continued to kiss him and smile at him. “I’ll wait for you. For as long as it takes I will wait for you. I’ve waited for you for this long, I can wait a thousand life times for you.”

“You mean it?”

“I do.” He held Lance’s hand and kissed the faded scar on Lance’s ring finger. A look of shame came across his face. “It’s okay.” Said Keith. “Since I thought you rejected me the mark started to fade. It would never fully vanish, but my claim on you would fade and other demons would have some claim to you… But now, the stronger out bond gets the more prominent it will become.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” He kissed Lance again and smiled at him. “If you decide that I’m not worth it anymore the scar will continue to fade. It’s okay though, I love you. I always will love you. My bride or not I will always be there for you.”

“So I don’t have to choose between you and my god?”

“I’d never ask you to choose between either. God can have your soul, but I want your body.” Whispered Keith as he pulled Lance in for another kiss. Lance hummed a little and ran his fingers through Keith’s hair, gently brushing over his horns before running them down his chest and arms. Hands touching and their fingers intertwined. The scars on both their ring fingers started to darken and become more prominent. Almost like tattoos on their fingers.

***

Several months later, the Mamora gang came through the small town. None of them were very surprised to see nothing had changed. Most of the gang headed to the pub to get liquored up while Shiro, Krolia, and Kolivan headed to the church to see if they could find Lance and ask about Keith.

They had a small betting pool going on in the gang about what Keith’s fate was. Most thought Keith would still be following Lance around like a hellhound puppy. Some thought Keith would have given up and headed home with his tail between his legs in shame.

They pulled up in the church parking lot and had a little look around. The place seemed to be a little strange. Still as holy as ever, but not as holy as it was before. Perhaps Lance’s faith had wavered slightly with Keith’s presence? Shiro was very proud of that.

Kolivan sighed a little and scratched the back of his head. “Well… At least he did something while we were gone.”

“Considering he hasn’t done this before I think he has done very well.” Said Krolia. “The church doesn’t look too bad either. The garden is very nice.”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “Lance has done a pretty good job, huh?”

They saw some movement over by the far corner of the church. The trio approached and found someone wearing a big straw hat and gardening clothes. They were humming to themselves as they worked to trim the branches from a tree.

“Lance?” Called Shiro.

The person stopped trimming and looked over at them. Much to their surprise it was Keith. He seemed just as surprised to see them there. “Oh, hey guys. On your way back home?”

“Yes…” Said Krolia. “Keith, what happened? Why are you working at the church? For the Pastor? Kind of the opposite of what you were meant to do? … Did he use some crazy Catholic magic?”

Keith gave them a confused look. “No? I kind of like gardening?”

The other demons were shocked to hear him say that. Something was clearly wrong here. Keith had never gardened before. He was more likely to kill a plant rather than raise it and help it flourish. 

The younger demon frowned at them and went back to trimming. “Well if you’re just here to make fun of my gardening skills you can fuck off.”

“We aren’t here to do that.” Said Shiro. “But um… How are you going? Are you… Do you want to come back with us or stay here?”

“I’m staying here of course.” Said Keith like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Lance and I… Everything is going really well right now. Working at the church is really nice. I mostly do gardening and outdoor stuff, but it’s work that I enjoy.”

Krolia looked like she was going to cry. “My poor baby… We shouldn’t have left you here alone…”

Suddenly the backdoor to the church opened up and Lance happily walked out. “Oh hey! You should have called ahead to let us know you were passing through. I would have brought a table out here.”

Something was off about the Pastor. Sure he was still cheerful and happy, but there was this slightly strange energy he was giving off. It was a little unnerving, but it intrigued the demons. It seemed a little familiar to them.

Sensing their confusion, Lance walked over to Keith and kissed him on the cheek. “We’re a thing now.”

That surprised them all. “Oh… That’s nice.” Said Krolia. “So… You won’t be coming back with us, Keith?”

Keith shook his head. “No. I’m going to stay here a bit longer with Lance. Tell dad I said hi when you next see him.”

“We will.” Said Kolivan.

“Want to come to the pub with us?” Asked Shiro. “It’ll be good to catch up.”

Keith glanced over at Lance. “I’ll be back soon.” 

“You take your time. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them.” Lance quickly kissed him again and took his hat and gloves. “Have fun. I’ll see you later tonight, okay?”

“Hmm, okay.” Keith kissed him back and headed off with the other demons.

As they did, Shiro glanced back at Lance. He was running his hand through his hair, pushing it back just enough for Shiro to notice a slight bump just starting to form under his skin. It might not have been noticeable for humans but it looked like Lance might be starting to grow horns. It seemed as though, despite the domestic setting, Keith had found his bride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this one and enjoying it. I'll be posting it as its own story in the next day or so. I hope you all enjoyed it.


	221. Eastern Air Temple (AtLA AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are... Well... Just read it. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Sleeping arrangements were a little weird in Adam’s home. Adam preferred to sleep on his bison while the others made do with what they wanted. Pidge, Hunk, and Lance ended up staying inside Adam’s house and slept on beds Pidge made from dirt. Shiro and Keith ended up sleeping on Kuro. The bison seemed reluctant to let it happen, but just rolled with it.

Shiro couldn’t sleep. He wanted to talk to Adam more, but couldn’t find some time away from everyone else to talk to him alone again. But now with it being night, it might just be time to do so. He sat up and looked around to make sure that Keith was still asleep. He was curled up between Kuro’s shoulder blades.

Shiro quietly got off of Kuro and headed over to Adam. He wasn’t surprised to see that Adam was still awake and stargazing. He wasn’t phased by Shiro’s appearance and just gestured for him to lay next to him. Which Shiro did so.

“... I’m a shitty person.” Said Shiro quietly.

“Yeah, you are.” Said Adam.

“Are we really over?”

“We have been over for a long, long time Takashi.” Said Adam quietly.

“... Was our relationship really that bad?”

“It wasn’t bad.” Said Adam calmly. “There were things that we did that I loved. I have precious memories with you that I will never forget, but that’s all they are. Memories.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I understand if you hate me.”

Adam sighed and looked over at Shiro. “I don’t hate you. I never will be able to hate you… I’m just disappointed at how things went. It could have gone better.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry. I’m the one at fault here… I’m taking full responsibility here.” 

“I know.” Said Adam. “Thank you.”

Shiro hummed a little and looked up at the stars. They were beautiful. Almost as beautiful as Adam was. He would have said something romantic to him to try and get him to swoon, but not now. Adam wasn’t his anymore.

“I thought about you every day.” Said Shiro. “There wasn[t one day I didn’t think about you and wonder what you would do or say if you saw the things I saw…”

“Shiro…”

“I’m not trying to guilt you.” Reassured Shiro. “I just… I treated you badly and I didn’t even realize what I was doing until you spelt it out for me. When I leave-”

“When?”

“We both know that I’m going to leave again.”

“True.” Adam rolled over so he was on his side, looking at Shiro. “Shiro… Has there ever been someone else?”

“What? No. It’s only ever been you.” Said Shiro. “I… I’ve only ever loved you. I thought we were still a thing so I was faithful to you… Have you?”

“No. You know my reputation around here. Bit of an asshole and all that.” Said Adam. He sighed. “Hardly anyone comes out here anyway. Someone comes once a week to make sure I’m not starving, and some airbenders come down to see if they can bond with a bison. I don’t mind. I like being here. Someone has to look after the bison. Might as well be me.”

Shiro nodded a little. “Yeah… Adam, in the future when I come back here-”

“When?”

“I will come back for you.” Said Shiro sternly. “Adam, you’re my first love. You will always be the one I love the most in the world… And even though you’ve moved on… maybe we can still be friends?”

Adam looked at him with a blank expression before rolling back onto his back to look up at the stars. “Yeah. We can still be friends… I missed having you around.”

“I missed being around… I wouldn’t mind raising bison with you someday.”

“Hmm, someday… Maybe… So your reason for being here?”

“Keith needs to find inner peace.” Said Shiro. “We’ve tried meditating and all the usual things. I thought this would really help him out. And Pidge is trying to learn how to metalbend. I think she’s going to blow a blood vessel in her head before she does.”

Adam chuckled a little. “Yeah, okay. Sounds like you have your work cut out for you.”

“Yeah, I think I do.” He moved his hand a little closer to Adam. Adam did the same and the two of them interlocked their fingers as they watched the stars.

***

The next day the group ended up at the temple. Adam used Atlas to help them carry their cart over to the temple and dropped it off. They couldn’t very well walk there using the bridges. They were very rickety and thin.

Hunk and Lance set up shop where some other airbenders were selling and trading different bits and pieces. Mostly clothes, so Hunk’s stand was very, very popular and was more than happy to trade all kinds of things with everyone else.

Shiro happened to find someone that would fit Kuro with a saddle. The bison was not pleased about this but let it all happen anyway. They just complained the whole time they were getting fitted for it.

Pidge and Keith stayed hanging round Hunk’s table and helped him sprook his wears. A lot of them quickly snapped up some of the clothes cloth from the watertribe. It got cold up in the mountains after all. They traded a lot of interesting crafts and some blankets made from flying bison fur.

Pidge leaned back against a wall and sighed. “This place is pretty neat. Think we’ll be able to find someone to help you with your anger issues?” 

Keith shrugged. “Maybe? They might be able to… But I doubt it.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve tried everything.” Said Keith. “But you know, might as well try this out…” Rover landed on his shoulder and tried to climb over his head. “Hey! Get off me you weirdo.” He muttered.

Pidge rolled her eyes and took Rover off him. “Calm down you big scary man. You’ll be fine. You’re not as shitty as you think you are.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. Really.” She nudged Keith’s arm and grinned. “You know, this could be pretty good for everyone. Like, you learn how to control your fire and I learn how to metalbend.”

“I’m still having trouble figuring out how metalbending and airbending are related.”

“Air is the lightest element you can bend, right? Well metal is practically the heaviest thing you can bend.” She explained. “If I can bend metal the same way that airbenders bend air, then I can theoretically bend metal.”

“... You’re really stuck on that aren’t you?”

“HEY!” Yelled Lance. “STOP THAT LEMUR!!!”

“QUACK!” Schried Blue.

They looked over just in time to see a flying lemur taking off with Blue in their hands. They looked like they were heading to the edge and were going to jump off. Before either of them could react both Blue and the lemur got caught in a ball of air and were tumbling around in circles on the spot.

The two looked over to see an older woman with airbending tattoos walk over to the lemur and the turtleduck. He removed Blue from the lemur and let the fluffy guy go. “Off with you now.” She said. She then walked over to Lance and handed Blue to him. “I believe this poor creature is yours?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Lance quickly checked on Blue, and the dizzy turtleduck ended up vomiting on him. “... Poor baby…”

Shiro quickly came over to them and bowed to the woman. She bowed back. “Hey guys. So this is Ellen Sanda. She’s currently in charge of the Eastern air temple.” He looked over at Keith. “She’s one of the masters that teaches advanced airbending techniques.”

“I would prefer to be called Master Sanda.” She said in a cold manner as she looked at Shiro. “I believe I have earned that title. So Shiro, why are you here?”

“Well, Keith has a little trouble with his firebending and-”

“You brought a firebender here?” She snapped. Everyone kind of froze. She sounded so bitter. “Shiro, what are you thinking? Have you forgotten what firebenders did to the air nomads?”

“Well yeah but-”

“And we are only just starting to regain a foothold in this world.”

“But none of us were-”

“And you brought a firebender to this sacred site?”

“Keith just-”

“There is nothing that firebender can learn from airbenders.” She spat. “If that was your only reason for being here then you and the rest of your party are not welcome at the Eastern air temple anymore. Leave now.”

Shiro looked shocked. “But we-”

“Leave. Now.” She hissed. “If you do not leave within the hour you will all be forcibly removed.” She turned on her heels and quickly marched off into the temple. The surrounding airbenders quickly moved away from Hunk’s stall and gave the group apologetic and sad looks.

“... What the hell is her problem?” Asked Lance.

Shiro just shook his head and started to apologize to Hunk. “I am so sorry. But we really need to leave…”

“It’s okay.” Reassured Hunk. “I already sold and traded a lot of stuff anyway.”

They quickly packed their things and got Kuro to reluctantly bring them back to Adam’s place. The man was very surprised to see them back so soon. Before he could ask them anything Keith jumped off of Kuro and stormed to the far side of the plateau. He left scorching footprints in the grass.

He was pissed. Firebenders were still considered evil in the eyes of most people. No matter what happened there was always going to be people that hated firebenders. He sat at the edge of a cliff and quietly brooded. This was all pointless. No matter where he went or what he did he was just a failure. And now his existence was hurting everyone else. Maybe he should just jump off the side out the mountain?

Before he could contemplate this further, Adam sat by him and sighed. “Sanda is a cunt.” Keith just nodded and looked off into the distance. “... She kicked me out of the temple because she didn’t like my attitude. She couldn’t actually banish me, so I ended up here. She tolerates me because I’m raising the bison.”

“... What’s the point of all this?”

Adam rolled his eyes and nudged Keith’s arm. “Point is, I know all the theory and practical stuff about being an airbender. I just never passed the final exam. Shiro told me what the bitch said so I’ll help you out.”

“... Really?” Asked Keith. “You’ll teach me all that inner peace crap?”

“Despite me being pissed off at this stupid bison doing stupid shit, I do have a lot of inner peace.” Said Adam. He smiled a little at him. “Look, Sanda’s family was in some kind of resistance against the firenation for generations, so she’s really against them, but a lot of us have moved on from that crap. I don’t think you’re a bad kid. You just need a little help.”

Keith frowned and looked down over the edge of the mountain again. “Are you sure you want to give someone like me any help?”

Adam rolled his eyes and lightly punched Keith’s arm. “Don’t act all dramatic. Shiro clearly likes you and is doing his best to help you. I want to help you too. Not just because I know Shiro, but because I think you deserve help. None of us chose to be Benders. We just are. We all deserve help.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He patted Keith’s back and stood up. “Okay, come on you. Time to head back to the others. I have more rice to boil since you guys are gonna be staying here for a while.”


	222. Social media (X-men AU XIX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is trying his best for Keith, who is kind of a sad boy right now... He needs more hugs... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The two of them mostly hung around Krolia’s apartment for the rest of the day. It was kind of nice. Keith felt safe with her close by. It was nice. He’d only felt like that around Shiro and to some extent Adam. He still felt guilty about calling Shiro and asking him to help him. But being around Krolia and Lance really helped him out.

Eventually they went to the M.Y.R.C. Keith felt like shit for asking Shiro to pick him up. He felt like a small child. Lance was ready to go back with him too. Veronica had brought him his stuff from home. She mentioned that their parents were still fighting. 

A black sedan pulled up near the front of the M.Y.R.C and Shiro got out. He smiled a little at Keith but could tell he didn’t want to talk. He just let Keith climb into the car along with Lance. Shiro took a few moments to talk to Kolivan and Krolia before he got in and started to drive.

To say the drive back was awkward was an understatement. Keith was quiet and looked out the window the whole time. Lance awkwardly shifted in his seat. Shiro stayed quiet and kept driving. They stopped a few times for more gas or to get food. Keith still didn’t really talk, but Lance and Shiro did.

Keith just felt like the black sheep of the group. He tried to stay in the car and just not listen to anyone again. He was too wrapped up in his own head. He only felt a little better when they got to the school at a bit before midnight. Keith quickly escaped to his room and hid under the blankets. He felt like crap and wanted to just forget everything. He should have just stayed at the school and not leave.

Everything sucked. He hated being such a mess and a screw up. He wanted to just give up already and forget that this whole thing ever happened. Lance probably hated him. He drove a wedge between Lance and his family, something he didn’t want to do. He felt like shit. He was starting to think maybe he had a mutation that made him unlucky to everyone around him.

***

Lance ended up awkwardly sitting around in Adam’s office with both Adam and Shiro. Adam didn’t look too happy about being awake, but he was there with a coffee cup and a look of apathy on his face. He was probably still jet lagged.

“So um… No one is here?” Asked Lance.

Adam yawned. “One Coran always stays here during the holidays to make sure everything is okay over the holidays. He let us in and we explained the situation. He’s asleep right now. Like we should be.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s not your fault.” Said Shiro. “Things are… Things are just kind of hard…”

“My papa was a complete asshole.” Said Lance bluntly. “The way he talked about me and Keith… He was acting like Keith was diseased. At the beginning it could have been excused as him being a little ignorant but… He just wouldn’t stop. Just because my mutation isn’t physical doesn’t mean I’m not a mutant. I am. I still am… I am a mutant… I am…”

Shiro put his hand on his shoulder. “You are a mutant… Some parents just find it hard to accept that their children are different…” He looked over at Adam who shared a sympathetic look with him. “Our parents were… Mine were extremely strict and made me bind my wings. It took a few years before I was able to learn how to fly. The muscles in my wings were too weak to even fold up on their own.”

“My parents just kicked me out and said I was lucky they didn’t take me out the back and put a bullet in my head.” Said Adam. “My parents fucking sucked. I moved in with Shiro and his parents when I could. They assumed I was just a normal kid with shitty parents… I just hid my mutation from them because I didn’t want to get kicked out again.”

Lance was a little surprised to hear that. He didn’t think that they would have lived with parents like that. “Oh…” 

“It’s okay.” Said Shiro. “Point is we know how cruel parents can be when they think they are in the right or are trying to prevent you from bringing some supposed shame on the family.”

Lance nodded a little. “And I guess Keith takes issue with parents like that?”

Adam nodded. “Yep. Keith idealizes families. He hasn’t said it, but he really, really wants a family or some kind, any kind. You know those perfect families you see on TV? When Keith was younger he said he wished he wasn’t a mutant because then he could have a family… From all the crap that happened he probably feels like some kind of homewrecker that turned a happy family into another one of his shitty foster homes.”

“But he didn’t! It was my papa was the one that fucked everything up.”

Adam shrugged. “That’s just how he is. He’ll probably stay in his room for a day or two… Someone just make sure he gets fed okay? I’m going to bed…”

Lance nodded a little and also headed to bed. He stopped for a moment outside of Keith’s room and frowned. He wanted to see Keith and make sure he was okay, but he didn’t want to wake him up or upset him some more if he wasn’t asleep.

So Lance went into his room and flopped onto his bed. He took out his phone and looked up Krolia on Facebook because of course she would have a Facebook. It was public and Lance looked through her photos. All of them were of her after she mutated.

Out of curiosity got the better of him and he looked through her contact list. He found that Tex guy. He owned a cattle ranch in Arizona. He looked like he was pretty well off. From his profile he looked like he was single. He was also still online by the look of it. Lance knew this was probably a terrible idea, but he sent him a friend request.

A few minutes later the request was accepted. He wasn’t sure if Tex was the kind of guy that would just accept friend requests from random people, but he needed to figure out what to say to him. Was he really Keith’s father? Would this be a terrible idea? He sounded like he might have wanted to know about Keith, at least that’s what it sounded like from what he heard from the phone call with Krolia. He sighed a little and went to sleep. Traveling so far was tiring. He needed to sleep.

The next day when he got up, he checked his phone to see if his family had messaged him. He had a few texts from his brothers and sisters asking him if he’s okay. His mama had sent him a lot of heart emojis. She never was big on texting, but he knew what she meant. Still got nothing from his papa though. Probably wouldn’t get anything for a while.

He headed down to the kitchen and saw Adam, Shiro, and Coran all sitting around eating breakfast. Coran smiled warmly at him. “Morning lad. Sorry to hear about how everything went. Um, up until then I hope you had a good time?”

“Up until then? Yeah.” Said Lance. He sat at the table and Coran put some pancakes in front of him. Lance covered them in syrup. “Is Keith up yet?”

Shiro frowned a little. “I already went to see him. He wants to just stay in his room right now.”

“I’ll be bringing him breakfast soon.” Said Coran happily. “Or you could if you want to Lance?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that.” Said Lance. “So… How does this work? Never technically been at a school during the holidays.”

Coran nodded. “Fair enough. So, You can pretty much go about the school and do whatever you like. Meal times are the same, and it would be preferred that you are inside the house by 10:30pm. I need to lock the doors and all that. Apart from that, you can pretty much go anywhere.”

“Fair enough.” Lance quickly finished eating and grabbed a plate of food to take to Keith. He had to knock on the door a few times before Keith answered. “Breakfast?”

Keith sighed a little and let Lance in. Lance was always shocked by how clean Keith kept his room. He put the plate on the desk and looked back over at Keith. His friend was curled up on his bed and under the covers.

“So… Do you want to go and do something today?” Asked Lance. “I haven’t seen too much of the school apart from the usual places students go.”

“Maybe later.”

“How about we watch a movie?”

“Later.”

“Well what about-”

“Later!” Snapped Keith. “Just get out of my room. I’ll take my plate back to the kitchen when I am done.”

“... Okay.” Lance went back to his room and sat on his bed. He went through his phone and went through his messages, letting his family know he was okay and commented on some of Pidge and Hunk’s photos. After a while, he was going to just walk around the school and see if he can find any interesting things. That was when he noticed he got a message from Tex.

**Tex**   
_I only have this to connect with friends and family. Are you a kid of someone I know?_

**Lance**   
_I know Krolia._   
_I also think I know your son_

**Tex**   
_I don’t have a son_

**Lance**   
_I was staging at Krolia’s house the other night because of reasons_   
_I heard her talking on the phone to you_   
_I’m pretty sure that Keith might be your son_   
_I’m his friend_

**Tex**   
_Can you send some kind of proof?_

Lance thought for a moment. He couldn’t really send actual proof that Keith was this Tex guy’s son. He was still pretty sure that Tex was his dad, but he wasn’t too sure if he should open this can of worms. He took a deep breath and quickly sent a photo. It was one he had taken ages ago when they had their little spa night.

**Lance**   
_~Image sent~_   
_He’s the purple one_

**Tex**   
_Does Keith have social media?_

**Lance**   
_No._   
_He doesn’t like people looking at him_

**Tex**   
_I see_

**Lance**   
_Look, I’m just reaching out to see what kind of guy you are._   
_Keith doesn’t know I’m doing this._   
_I want to do something nice for him_

**Tex**   
_Does he know that Krolia is his mother?_

**Lance**   
_No_

**Tex**   
_Really?_   
_Does he have a family?_

Lance paused for a moment as he thought about how to answer this question. Keith did have a family, but he didn’t have a family. He was an orphan, but he was very close to Shiro and possibly Adam? Maybe? He was still closer to Shiro.

**Lance**   
_Not in a traditional sense_   
_Have you heard of Takashi Shirogane?_

**Tex**   
_That mutant with the bird wings that’s always talking to government types?_

**Lance**   
_Yeah. Shiro’s kind of a brother too him._

**Tex**   
_That’s a relief._   
_I’m glad he’s okay_   
_He’s 18 now, right?_

**Lance**   
_Sounds about right._

**Tex**   
_I see._   
_Do you think he will want to meet me?_

That was the big question. He knew that Keith seemed to want a family of some kind, but he didn’t know what Keith felt about his own family. Would he even want to get to know them? How would he feel if he learned that Krolia was his mother? He didn’t know.

**Lance**   
_Maybe?_   
_I’m not sure._

**Tex**   
_That’s fair_

**Lance**   
_Yeah..._   
_Do you want to meet him?_

**Tex**   
_I do, but Keith’s an adult now._   
_Even if we did meet he might not want to get to know me_   
_But that’s his decision_   
_Can I think about this for a few days?_

**Lance**   
_Of course. Take all the time you need._

**Tex**   
_Thanks._   
_I have to work now._   
_Talk to you in a few days_

**Lance**   
_Of course!_   
_Take your time_   
_Hope to hear from you soon_   
_Whatever the answer is_

Tex didn’t respond after that and Lance flopped back onto his bed. He sighed loudly as he thought about all of this. He hoped that he had done the right thing. Maybe something would come of it but maybe nothing would happen. He didn’t know. If Tex wanted to meet with Keith he hoped that Keith also wanted to meet him.


	223. Grove (Witch AU XIX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two go on a "friend" date. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was pretty excited to be hedging out of the house at night. Keith didn’t normally need to leave the house at night. He did a few times to catch night insects for certain things. So he was just happy to walk after him with a smile on his face.

“Hey, hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere.”

“Aww…”

Keith rolled his eyes and waved his hand. Small flames licked at his fingers like small candles that brightened the night just a little bit. “Does this make it better?”

“Um, a little.” Lance was slightly entranced by the flames on the wicche’s fingers. It made him grin. Fire was such an amazing thing. He had always been intrigued by fire anyway. This was probably because he had lived in the ocean his whole life. The closest he had really gotten to fire was when his father was cooking.

Keith just nodded and continued to walk. He took Lance to a place filled with trees and bioluminescent things. Lots of glowing blue, greens and purples. Trees arched and branches twisted together like beautiful and patterned arches. Small pieces of shiny and glittery things floated by on the wind like dust. It was really pretty and Lance liked it.

“This place is pretty.”

“Yeah, it’s a fae grove.” Explained Keith. “It’s kind of a sacred place to the fae court and they are quite fierce about protecting it. You’re only allowed to use passive magic here or members of the far court will hurt you.”

“Like, those fairy things?” Asked Lance. “They were really cute.”

“Fairies aren’t the only thing part of the fae court.” Said Keith calmly. “The fae court consists of a lot of forest creatures. Fairies, pixies, goblins, trolls, and all manner of creatures. We might see one or two in here, but you know, probably not a good idea to interact with them… I should probably put this out.” He waved his fingers and put the fire out.

Once his fire was out, Lance could really appreciate the grove a lot more. It looked so pretty. Stars blanketed the sky. It looked so beautiful. Lance had always loved the stars. They were both a way to guide him home and something he found beautiful. Thousands of shiny shells in the sky. So beautiful.

“Wow… This place is amazing. It’s so beautiful...”

“Yeah, it is. Come on.” Keith led him a little deeper into the grove until they came across a pond. The pond was so clear it looked like glass or aquamarine. Lance had to resist the urge to jump into the water. Keith sat a little away from the edge of it and Lance happily sat by him. “So, this is the grove…” He said.

Lance nodded and looked around. “It’s really pretty. I like it. So why are we here?”

“You wanted to go on a date, right? Well, here it is...” Muttered Keith.

“Oh! Okay.” Lance smiled at him and continued to look around. The place looked so pretty. It reminded him a lot of the coral forests he used to swim through when he was younger. The mermaids there were always amused to see selkies traveling through their territory. 

“So… What do you think?” Asked Keith.

“Beautiful!” Said Lance excitedly. “I’m half expecting a mermaid to swim through the trees.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Lance smiled and happily looked over at a bush filled with shimmering flowers. They looked like they were made of crystals. He grinned and lied down on his back. He looked up at the stars and hummed. “So, do you have stories about the stars?”

“Hmm?”

“Well, my papa told us stories about the stars and how they are good for navigation and stuff.” Said Lance. “I want to know if selkie stories are different from human ones.” He pointed up at a constellation in the sky. “That one. The big clam!”

Keith lied back and squinted his eyes. “I don’t see it.”

“Right there.” Lance pointed up at the sky. “That kind of really yellow looking one? That’s the start of it. Yeah?”

“Oh, I kind of see it. I think?”

Lance grinned. “Yeah. So this gain clam is said to have birthed the sea and everything in it. It belonged to Allura the goddess of the world and-”

“You know Allura too?” Keith sounded surprised to hear that.

His surprise made Lance chuckle. “Yeah. Allura is the goddess of the world and she used the giant clam to create the ocean. She cracked it open and water poured out everywhere.”

“Huh, we don’t have that story.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

***

Lance continued to talk about constellations and Keith was… Well he was a little conflicted. This date thing was a friend date thing. Not really meant to be anything other than showing him what a date is like since Lance wanted to go on one. He wondered if Lance would use these dating techniques would translate well to selkie dating? Though if Lance didn’t know what dating was then maybe he wouldn’t know what dating was?

He sighed and looked up at the stars. Lance was still talking about the constellations. He was practically gushing about them. He was still talking about Allura and how to Selkies she was a goddess of the ocean and all the cool things she did.

“And that’s where mermaids came from.” Said Lance happily.

“Huh, alright.”

“Yeah.” Lance rolled onto his stomach and smiled at him. “It’s pretty cool, right?”

“Yeah. It is.” He looked over at Lance and saw how happy and excited he was. The selkie just looked so happy and excited to be with him.Which made Keith feel a little guilty. He liked Lance well enough, but Lance was his familiar. It felt weird to him to feel anything other than friendship towards him. 

Sure he knew that some wicche’s had romantic relations with their familiar, but they were all people that had familiars that were like Lance. As in they had intelligence that was the same and or higher than that of a normal human. He knew that Shiro and Adam were a couple, but he wasn’t so sure about the dynamics of their relationships.

He didn’t want Lance to feel like he had to be in a romantic relationship with him. He might feel that way if he tried anything with him. Keith didn’t like the power dynamic that existed between a wicche and their familiar when the familiar was this intelligent. 

“So… this is what a human date is like.” Said Keith.

Lance grinned. “Yeah. I like it. I like it a lot. It’s a lot less stressful than courting. I have to collect lots of pretty things for my mate.”

“So you’ve done it before?”

Lance looked embarrassed and quickly looked away from Keith. “When I was younger… There was this pretty selkie and I started gathering things to give her… But just when breeding season started another selkie quickly moved in and well… They were the first couple to have a pup that year…”

“Oh… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Said Lance. “Like, if I courted her then I might not have met you.”

“True…”

“And I like being your familiar.” Said Lance as he leaned in a little closer to him. “Out of all the wicche’s in the world, I’m glad I got to be with you.”

Did Lance know how perfect he looked right now? Being illuminated by the enchanting and whimsical lighting? He looked more supernatural and beautiful than usual. He blushed at the thought. 

“I… I’m glad that I could be with you too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Lance smiled and leaned in closer. Keith thought that Lance was going to kiss him, but instead, the selkie nuzzled his cheek and neck while making very soft seal noises. It was a little surprising, but it left Keith feeling a little unsatisfied. He didn’t know why.

“Dates are nice.” Said Lance happily. “Can we do this more often?”

“More friend dates?” Asked Keith. “Sure.”

Lance frowned a little at that wording. “So, what’s the difference between this and a normal date?”

“Well… There’s no kissing…”

“... And if I want to kiss you?”

Keith could feel his face heating up. “... You want to kiss me?”

“W-well yeah?” Confessed Lance. “I’ve been trying to figure out how best to try and court you for the past few weeks. It’s hard to tell what you like when you only have practical things around your home.”

“Oh…”

“So can I kiss you?”

“O-only if you want to…”

Lance smiled at him and gently kissed Keith. Keith reciprocated the kiss and pulled his lover close. Lance still smelled a little fishy, but that was just him. He was a selkie after all.


	224. Anatomical model (Highschool AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith forgets something important he was going to do... And Lance's masochistic tendencies get the better of him for a brief second. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The dinner was kind of interesting. Adam had finally managed to convince Shiro to go out for dinner. He didn’t have to worry about Keith’s job since Kolivan gave him some time off. They ended up going to some nice Italian place that was never really that loud. It was good for Shiro.

Shiro got a mushroom risotto, Adam got carbonara, and Keith got lasagna. It felt like forever since they had gone out like this. While he and Adam hadn’t gone out to eat anywhere when Shiro was away, they did order takeout and have cake when appropriate.

He remembered his last birthday. It was really nice. He and Adam had ordered take out and ate a small store bought red velvet cake. Adam even let him have a little sip of his whisky. It was a good time. But he wouldn’t be getting his hands on any alcohol from now on. Not that he minded very much. Alcohol was fine, but Keith thought that it could probably really mess with him and his insomnia.

Keith watched as his brother smiled and talked with Adam. It was nice to see Shiro relaxed in a public setting. Shiro had been very wary about leaving the house by himself. Even going to the mailbox alone had been a bit of a struggle. But he was trying his hardest to get used to civilian life. 

“-so I think we have a squirrel living in the tree outside.” Said Shiro.

Adam chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Really? One squirrel runs over a branch and almost drops a nut on you, and you think they are living in the tree?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure they are… At least one is.”

Adam shrugged. “Probably. Keith, have you thought more about what college or university you might want to go to?”

“Oh I um… I haven’t…”

“It’s okay.” Said Shiro. “You don’t have to jump straight into higher education right after school. You could take a gap year or do a trade instead? You have all kinds of things you can do. Just take your time and think about it.”

“I will.” Said Keith. “I um… I still don’t really know what I want to do with my life… I know I don’t work at the convenience store for the rest of my life but… I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” Said Shiro. “Just do what you feel is right.”

“I will.” Said Keith. “Don’t worry.” He still had no real idea what he wanted to do with his life. He just wanted something that would pay decently so he could move out and live on his own.

Thankfully the two of them continued to talk among themself and left Keith alone to his thoughts. He sat there and just picked at his food. He wasn’t overly hungry at the moment anyway. But he would eat all of it. Adam was paying after all.

As the adults continued to talk, Keith wondered if he should talk to his science teacher about his assignment. He had a few things he needed to do in a lab setting that he hadn’t been able to do yet because of his sleeping schedule. Maybe he could get it all done in one lunch session? He wasn’t sure.

***

Thankfully Keith’s teacher was understanding and they set up a time that they could do the practical part of the assignment during lunch time when everyone else was eating. So there Keith was, all set up with the science teacher overlooking them as they worked.

It wasn’t anything too difficult. Keith was doing an experiment using a potato, an AMP meter, a lightbulb, and a few wires. Pretty simple stuff. He just had to hook everything up and record a few numbers.

“Do you want me to double check it’s set up correctly?” Asked his teacher.

“No thanks.” Said Keith. “I have it set up properly… I think… Yeah, check it over please.”

The teacher smiled at him and checked over his experiment. “Okay, you’re all good. Experiment away.”

“Thanks.” Keith went about recording his results as he changed the settings. As he did the teacher went about taking an anatomical model out and setting it up on their desk for their next class. It was one of those models where all the organs can get taken out and put back in. They seemed to be held in place with magnets or something.

After a few minutes the teacher ducked out to get something from the teacher’s lounge, leaving Keith all alone. Not that he really minded. It felt a little weird with the teacher continuously looking over his shoulder. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about it for much longer. He just had to get through this and then he could worry about what his life was going to be like after school.

What was he going to do anyway? He couldn’t safely do a trade since he’d have to operate heavy machinery or at least dangerous things. There were jobs people could work at home, right? He just needed to find a simple job like that, that he could do that paid decently… He was probably never going to be able to leave Adam and Shiro’s home at this rate.

***

Lance was disappointed. Keith said he would have lunch with them, but he had just kind of vanished. He wasn’t in the nurse;s office or anywhere around the school that Lance knew of. He had made him a pulled pork sandwich with the last of the meat and everything.

Hunk tried to be sympathetic to his situation, but it was clear that he was slightly relieved that he wouldn’t have to deal with him. Not that Lance could really blame him. Keith still had a very, very bad reputation… and Lance was still kind of hoping that one day Keith would explode and take his aggression out on him. A few punches, a kick… Lance would settle for a backhand at this point.

“Maybe he had a lunchtime detention?” Offered Hunk. “You never know?”

“Or maybe he just fucked off?” Suggested Pidge. “He kind of does whatever he wants, remember? School bad boy, comes in whenever he feels like it. Somehow still not expelled?”

That wouldn’t have surprised Lance, but it still kind of hurt that Keith would just suddenly vanish like that. He knew that Keith was here today. He saw him in homeroom. Maybe he was just avoiding him? Maybe Keith was just happy to get some free food that day? He wouldn’t have been surprised if that was the case.

“Besides-” said Pidge. “-we’re kind of nerds. Why would Keith want to hang with us? What do we have in common? Besides coming from the same species as him.”

“Pretty sure you’re your own species there Pidge.” Said Lance. 

The conversation diverged from there and Pidge started to talk to Hunk about the last few projects that they needed to do. It reminded Lance that he needed to talk to the science teacher. He was having some problems with studies to either prove or disprove their hypothesis.

So once Lance had finished eating he ended up walking to the science room to find the teacher. They were usually there a few minutes before class started anyway. If they weren’t there then they would be in the teacher’s lounge.

He opened the door and walked in. “Hey teach, I have a question for- Oh!” The teacher wasn’t in there, but there was Keith. “Hey there Keith.”

Keith jumped a little in surprise and looked over at him. “Hi... Lance?” He seemed unsure if that was his actual name. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for the teacher… What are you doing here?” He asked as he walked towards him. 

Keith gestured to the potato stuck with a bunch of wires. “Assignment.”

“Oh…”

“... Are you okay?” Asked Keith.

He sighed a little and looked away. “Nothing… I guess you just forgot…”

“Forgot what?”

“You said you’d have lunch with me and my friends today.”

A look of realization came over Keith’s face. “Oh shit! I’m so sorry. I completely forgot. I… I just wanted to get my assignment done and I… I just completely forgot…”

Lance shrugged. “It’s fine. Really.” He handed Keith the sandwich and put it next to him. “Well… Here’s the lunch I promised you anyway. See you later I guess?”

Lance turned to leave, but before he did, Keith reached out to grab him. He missed slightly and only ended up making Lance stumble and trip over his own two feet. He tumbled forward and crashed into the teacher’s desk, making the anatomical model on it wobble and shake.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. Lance had landed on his wrist in an odd position and instantly knew that he had twisted his wrist. He could feel the pain shooting up his arm and down to his fingertips. He ended up bumping his shoulder and the side of his head against the desk too. It hurt so much, but it felt good. Way too good. His masochistic tendencies were showing. Maybe more so because Keith was the one that hurt him.

“Lance!” Keith was quickly by his side and checking him. “Shit, are you okay? Fuck…” Keith was awkwardly trying to see where he could touch him and where he couldn’t. “Shit, where does it hurt? Fuck, I’m sorry...”

“M-my wrist…” He muttered. “And my shoulder…”

“Okay… Try not to move it too much…” He attempted to help Lance up, but he ended up touching Lance’s shoulder, making Lance yelp out in pain as said pain quickly pooled down in his pelvis. “Shit! I’m sorry!”

Keith seemed to be panicking, and looked like he was going to go and get a teacher. Lance couldn’t have that. He wanted Keith to stay and hurt him some more. He needed it. He quickly reached out for him with his good wrist. 

“No. Don’t go.” He said in a breathy voice. “Stay… Please… Do it again...”

Keith froze for a moment and gave him a confused look. “What?”

“Do it again.” Said Lance. “Hit me. Trip me over. Throw me to the ground. Something. Anything. I-” Lance attempted to sit up more thoroughly and ended up kicking the teachers desk due to the slippery linoleum on the ground. The sudden kick was enough to knock the anatomical model off the desk and right onto Lance’s head, knocking him out cold.

***

Keith was more than a little confused. Everything happened so quickly. Keith was just trying to stop Lance from leaving the room. Sure he misjudged the grab and made Lance trip, but he didn’t think that Lance would smack his head against the teacher’s desk, talk a bunch of bullshit, and then get knocked the fuck out. He couldn’t get over the weird look in Lance’s eyes when he was practically begging for him to hurt him.

So he had to end up dragging him to the nurse’s bay where he ended up dropping Lance off to Coran. Coran quickly took care of Lance, wrapping his wrist and trying to make sure that he was okay before calling Lance’s parents to inform them of Lance’s condition.

Lance ended up waking up a minute or two after Coran went to make the phone calls. He looked more embarrassed than anything, but confused Keith a bit, but he wasn’t going to question it. Not just yet anyway.

“Are you okay?” Asked Keith. “I honestly didn’t mean to trip you over. I swear.”

“It’s fine…” Muttered Lance as he looked away. “I… I’m the one that should be sorry…”

“You’re not at fault… I tripped you.”

Lance sighed. “Yeah, and I said weird things…”

“Oh that? Yeah, you got hit in the head a few times.” Said Keith. “That linoleum floor is pretty slippery.”

“Yeah, it is… Um, can you forget about what I said?” Asked Lance. “I… Like you said, I hit my head pretty hard…”

“Yeah…” Keith felt so awkward. “So um… I… Can we do lunch tomorrow? If you’re still in school and like, not in a hospital?”

“... I’d like that…” Said Lance quietly. “I’m still sorry about-”

“About what? Nothing happened.” Said Keith. “You just tripped, tried to get up and got knocked out by an anatomical model. You didn’t say anything.”

“...” Lance smiled slightly. “Yeah. That’s what happened.” Coran came back in and ushered Keith out so that Lance could rest and wait for his parents to come and pick him up. Keith still felt pretty awkward about the whole thing.


	225. Numbers (Shop AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to circumstances, I might not be able to post tomorrow. I git adulting to do. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance and his friends ended up just hanging out at Hunk’s place and watching a movie. They put on some random disney movie and ate some delicious food that Hunk had made. In other words, the world’s best garlic knots. It made Lance salivate the second he smelled them.

As they talked, Lance concentrated on the tasty garlic knots while Pidge and Hunk talked about robotics. Lance didn’t understand coding. No matter how many times they tried to help him, he didn’t get it. So eventually they just gave up. Lance didn’t mind through. It was just how it was.

“And it’s almost ready to go.” Said Pidge. “Probably going to get turned into a toy of some sort. I mean, it looks like a mini mars rover.”

“That’s really cool.” Said Hunk.

“What colour is it?” Asked Lance.

“Who cares what colour it is.” Said Pidge. “It’s a robot.”

“Well, yeah, but people like colourful stuff…” Said Lance quietly. “Why are robots always white anyway?”

Pidge shrugged. “Easier to see if the robot’s been damaged if it falls over. Can’t really see that kind of stuff if the casting is black or red or something. White is the way to go.”

“Ah, okay…” Lance ate another garlic knot.

“So how’s working with Allura?” Asked Hunk. “You two still getting along?”

Lance nodded. “Of course. Allura’s still really nice to me. It’s amazing how she manages to put up with me for so long.”

“Don’t sell yourself short.” Said Hunk.

“Yeah.” Said Pidge. “Only I may sell myself short. For I am but a tiny child.”

“You’re seventeen.” Said Hunk.

“Eighteen next week.” Said Pidge. “Can’t help that I skipped a few grades because I have such a big brain.” She looked over at Lance and grabbed a garlic knot for herself. “So, what about that Keith guy and Shiro? You said you get along with Shiro, right?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah, I do but… I get the feeling that Shiro doesn’t like me too much…”

“What? Impossible!” Said Pidge. “Blaspheme! Who doesn’t like you?I mean, you’re obnoxious at times, but you’re nice.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Tell me how you really feel there Pidge.”

She shrugged and ate another garlic knot. “Whatever. What about Keith?”

“I’ve only known him for about a day.” Informed Lance. “He is… Well, all I really know is that he dresses like a mix between a punk and some kind of 80’s rocker. Has a bit of a mullet cut too… He also has a kindle so that’s kind of nice. He was reading a thing about motorbikes when I was talking to him.” He did wonder what kind of motorbike book Keith was reading. There were a lot out there. “Maybe you guys will be able to get along since you both like engines and cars and stuff?”

Pidge snorted a little. “Yeah, robotics is a little different from motorbikes and stuff like that Lance.”

“Right… Sorry.” Of course robotics was different to motorbikes. Pidge was more into coding anyway. This stuff was probably more something Hunk would be interested in… But maybe not? Hunk did quit engineering after all...

***

The next day at the store, Keith was sleepy and happily chugging down his second coffee for the day. He needed something to get him through the day/ Lance had gotten there and happily opened up the store bright and early. According to Shiro, this was a normal thing. Lance had gotten them both coffee, but since he didn’t know what order Keith liked, he got him just a coffee that was just a little too sweet.

After that Lance just went about his work. He cleaned up the shop and went about pricing and pairing shoes. He seemed content with himself to do so. Keith hadn’t ever seen someone this pleased with a pair of shoes before. It was interesting.

Now Keith, was gay, extremely gay. He couldn’t really remember the last time he was in a serious relationship, but it was probably back when he was in highschool. Senior year. James Griffin. It was okay, but James went out of state to study so they broke it off. They thought it was probably for the best.

Since then Keith had been dating pretty casually. It was nice to have that kind of freedom. Meant he could have a look at all the cute guys he liked and didn’t feel guilty because he wasn’t committed to anyone. He had quickly decided that Lance was one of those cute guys. 

It was nice that Lance was easy on the eyes, but it was kind of sad to see him struggle figuring out pricing. He had a book, a calculator, and a pen and notepad. He looked like he had been struggling to write one price out for about half an hour. He sighed a little and walked over to him.

“Are you okay there?” He asked.

Lance looked up at him and his face was flushed red in frustration and embarrassment. “I um… I’m fine. I’ve done this before. It’s part of my job… I can do it…” He said quietly. “It just… It takes awhile… Numbers are hard…”

“Yeah… Maybe I can help? Nothing’s happening with the bookstore side of things.”

Lance frowned a little and sighed. “Yeah, okay… He pushed the book over towards Keith. “You have to look for the brand, what style of shoe it is, and then use this formula to figure out how much it needs to be discounted by.”

Keith looked it over. It didn’t seem too difficult. With a calculator he could probably go through all the shoes within about fifteen minutes or less. There weren’t a lot of shoes. Maybe about ten pairs. He was about to tell Lance how easy this all looked when he noticed how upset Lance looked.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah… I’m fine…” Muttered Lance. “I just wish I wasn’t so stupid… Numbers are really hard.”

“Lots of people struggle with numbers. Don’t feel so bad about it.” Said Keith. “Why doesn’t Allura do this?”

“Because it’s both our jobs to price things… and I’m falling behind.” Said Lance. “I still have a bunch of dresses I need to do… So I guess I’m staying behind today to finish work…”

“Why not just put the equation into your calculator so you just have to punch in a few different numbers each time?”

“Because I won’t learn if I don’t repeat it.” Said Lance as he reached for the book. “Besides, it’s a really old calculator. Just adds, subtracts, multiplies, and divides. That’s all it does… I have to do everything else out by hand.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty hard…”

“Yeah…” Lance looked at the book again and looked very unhappy.

“I can still help… I do run some of the numbers at the mechanics sometimes.”

“I’ll be fine. I need to learn this.”

“... Okay.”

“Yeah… So um, where is Shiro?”

“He had to run over to the bank and do some stuff.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” Said Lance quietly. “Saves me from getting rejected again… Fuck it, I’m going to go to a club or something…”

Keith was kind of amused by this. “So you were trying to hook up with Shiro?”

Lance’s face went bright red. “W-what?! No! I just… He seems nice, but maybe he’s just nice to me at work? Maybe Allura might like to hang out with me?”

“What about your friends?”

“Hunk and Pidge?” Asked Lance. “Hunk usually works nights and Pidge prefers to work at night… Allura might actually be busy… Maybe I should get a cat? Does my building even allow pets?” Lance seemed like he was talking to himself now and not actually to Keith.

Now Keith might not have experienced heartache the same way Lance had, but even when he and James broke up Shiro hung out with him all weekend to make sure he was okay. It didn’t seem like Lance really had anyone to confide in at the moment.

“... Do you want to get a beer or something this weekend?”

Lance gave him a surprised look. “Huh? Really? You want to hang out with me?”

“Is that such a surprise?”

“Well… Kind of? We don’t really know each other.” Said Lance. “And you probably only know stuff about me because of Shiro… And if he doesn’t like me that much then it probably isn’t good…”

“Don’t work yourself up over nothing. Shiro thinks you’re fine. Just not his type.”

“Oh…”

Allura happily walked into the shop, listening to her iPod with her beats. She was also holding a rather large box of books. “Hello boys! Keith, Shiro gave me this to give to you. Here.”

Keith sighed and took the books from her. Looking inside they looked like a bunch of animal books. Lots of it were books about the ocean. “Where did you get these from?”

Allura grinned. “Well, my uncle was cleaning up his library, he does it every once in a while, and he hadn’t read these in a while. He would rather they get into the hands of people that would use them rather than have them collect dust.”

“Okay. Cool.” Keith went back to his desk to sort through the books while Allura talked with Lance. He didn’t hear much of the conversation, but he could tell that Allura was a little upset that Lance had only priced one pair of shoes. She sent him away to the food court to get something while she did the pricing herself. “... You know, he’s trying his best.”

“I know.” Said Allura calmly. “Numbers have always been something that Lance has had trouble with. I have told him that there is a program on the computer he can use, but he never does. He always does it the hard way. It is frustrating.”

“I didn’t take him for the kind of guy that would do things the hard way.”

“You’ve only known him for a day.”

“True… Has Lance got someone to talk to about his breakup?”

Allura shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d assume so? I mean, he has a huge family and he has close friends. Plus I’m happy to talk to him… Do you think that maybe Shiro will talk to him?”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Why Shiro?”

“Because Shiro is nice and well… Don’t you think that they would make a cute couple?” She asked. “Like, look at them; Shiro is so kind and sweet. Lance likes making his partners feel loved and like they are his whole world. He’s loyal to a fault… Wish the people he dated would see him the same way…” Her eyes lit up with excitement. “Do you think you can help me get them together? I’ve been trying to get them together for months.”

Keith was surprised to hear that. “Really?”

“Of course! They are so cute together! You should have seen the way Lance fawned over him when he first started working here.” Said Allura. “But since Lance was dating someone there was no way he was going to cheat. But now he can!”

“... Sorry, but Lance isn’t Shiro’s type.” Said Keith quietly. “Shiro likes… Smarter men? Like, from what he’s said, Lance isn’t too smart… Also guys with more muscles…”

“Oh…” Allura sighed and went back to pricing. “Lance isn’t that stupid…”

“Well, people are full of surprises…”

“True. Well, back to work. No rest for the wicked.”


	226. Pipes (Hellpoint AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween everybody! Enjoy this horror filled chapter in this horror filled AU. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After the giant worm devoured Lance, Allura and Keith made their way to the barn. It was made mostly of metal and they quickly made their way to the second level. There were a few dusty canisters and farming equipment around. The two of them took this time to catch their breath.

Keith swore loudly and punched the wall. “Fuck!” He yelled. “Fucking damn it! What the fuck?! Why the fuck did he do that?!”

“Keith, please calm-”

“He fucking died Allura!” Snapped Keith. “He fucking died because of me!”

Allura sighed and nodded in agreement. “Yes, but this isn’t the first time, right? Lance will be back soon… We should try and make sure that he doesn’t get eaten again. Okay? It-”

The front door suddenly slammed open and Lance slowly made his way up. He looked kind of out of it. Shell shocked from the trauma of getting eaten. He sat on a box and just kind of stared off into the distance.

Allura cautiously walked over to him. “Lance? Can you hear me?”

“... Getting eaten alive is really fucked up.” Muttered Lance. “Like, I got put through a meat grinder…”

“You shouldn’t have done that!” Snapped Keith. He was frustrated and angry with everything that happened. “Don’t you dare get killed because of me again!”

“So you want to die?” Asked Lance in a surprisingly monotone voice, which caught everyone off guard. “You wanted that thing to rip into your body? Pull chunks of flesh off your body? Did you want to feel what it’s like to have something like a chainsaw blade run over your eye? … Yeah, that’s what I thought…”

“... You still shouldn’t get yourself killed for me.” Said Keith. “It’s not like we can actually die here.”

“It’s still not fun.”

“None of us should be aiming to die.” Said Allura calmly. “Lance, are you okay?”

Lance looked at her with a deadpan expression. “Allura, so far today I have been ripped in half and eaten. Do you think I’m okay?”

“... I’m sorry. Maybe we should stay here for a moment and regroup a little?” She suggested. “I um… I’m going to check the map…” She walked over to the otherside near one of the windows.

Once they were alone, Keith sat by Lance and sighed a little. “I’m sorry I yelled at you… I just… Please don’t get yourself killed again.”

“Better me than you.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t you hear that Mimi thing? Asked Lance. “You’re half Galra. It kind of implied you might not be fully you if you get killed. You might end up being more Galra or more human. Who knows what that might do to you? I… I might as well do this and be somewhat useful, right?”

“Lance… You are useful. You don’t have to throw yourself into danger like that.” Said Keith. He really didn’t want Lance to do that. Especially because of him. Lance was… He was better than this. Lance deserved to be loved, taken care of and… Well, now was one hell of a time to realize that he liked Lance way more than a friend. He needed to be more careful and make sure that Lance didn’t throw himself into danger again.

***

Down in the bowels of the station, Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro carefully navigated around as carefully as possible. They could hear the engineers walking around. It seemed as though unless they were actively trying to attack someone, they didn’t care how much noise they made. They scuttled along the walls and floor like insects. The bodies inside of those exoskeletons were twisted and contorted in painful looking ways.

Hunk really didn’t want to be here. He wished that they were back up top. He didn’t want to see those engineers again. He knew those things were going to give him nightmares. Along with seeing Pidge’s corpse fall to the floor and bleed out. He had felt so helpless in that moment. He didn’t want that again.

Shiro held his hand up to stop them from walking. They shrank back into the shadows as several of the engineers quickly scuttled past. Them being so close made Hunk’s skin crawl. Those things were horrifying.

Eventually the trio made their way to a large room filled with clear pipes filled with red gel. It gurgled a little. The liquid was getting dumped into a large vat with a giant mixer. It seemed to be getting mixed with some other chemical. The chemical seemed to separate the red mix into a dark purple liquid that floated to the top and a much darker, thicker red gel was stuck at the bottom. More pipes drew both liquids away.

“What do you think that is?” Asked Shiro.

“No clue.” Said Pidge. “Is it really important right now?”

“Yeah, probably not.” He said.

Hunk couldn’t help but wonder what that liquid was for. Pidge probably wanted to know too, but the idea of figuring out what was going on was probably trumped by her need to figure out a way to get Null and escape.

They stopped for a moment for Pidge to check the map. “Okay, we need to head down near that big mixer and there should be a hallway. We take the first right and we should end up near the technology area of the station.”

The two of them nodded and headed down a nearby ladder. The whole place gave off a strange feeling. Hunk hated how much this made his skin crawl. They had to walk close to the weird mixing vat and just staring into the purple and red liquid made his stomach turn. He felt like he was looking at something he wasn’t meant to see. He really hoped that the others were doing well.

As they walked around it, Hunk noticed the console and saw some writing appear on it. Pidge noticed too and she went over to it to have a little poke around. Hunk also walked over, but kept a look out for the engineers.

“What do you have there Pidge?” Asked Shiro, also keeping an eye out.

Pidge quickly looked through the console and frowned. “This is… weird. It looks like some kind of bio waste disposal system? I’m surprised that there is still so much of it.”

“What are they doing with it?” Asked Hunk.

“That’s what I’m trying to find out.” Said Pidge as she quickly typed at the console. Suddenly her eyes went wide with shock and she almost stepped back from the console. “Holy shit! It’s quintessence. They are filtering quintessence from biomass.”

“Seriously?” Questioned Hunk.

“So what does that mean?” Asked Shiro. :Why would they need this much quintessence? How did they get this much biomass in the first place?”

Pidge shrugged. “Everyone that lived on this station had to go somewhere…” She trailed off a little as she spoke. “When I died before… Do you think that my body ended up here? It kind of turned into this weird red gel?”

“Then this is everyone that died here?” Asked Shiro. “Like, everyone that came here before us and ended up getting stuck on this station?”

Hunk looked up at the vat and gulped. There was so much material in there. Way too much material in there. How many people have died before they came here? It almost looked as bad as some of the Galra factories that they had been to for various missions. But the worst thing about this whole mess was that this wasn’t the culmination of say a thousand unfortunate dead. It could have been just a few hundred constantly getting murdered over and over again. Why did they need so much quintessence?

Suddenly the sound of metal striking metal started to scuttle towards them. Hunk ressied his bayard and quickly took aim at an engineer that was walking along the wall. Much to his disgust and horror it looked like a torso that’s arms and legs had completely rotted off. The limbs were still attacked and in place by twisted wires, but it had rotted off at the shoulders and hips.

“... Do I shoot it?” He asked. Hunk wasn’t sure if they could hear them, but he was going to be quiet.

“Not unless it becomes hostile…” Said Shiro calmly as he readied his Galra arm.

“Kill it.” Hissed Pidge. “Don’t give it a chance…” She gulped and lightly touched her throat, still very shaken by her experience with the engineers. “You know what they will do to us if it sees us.”

Hunk took aim at the creature and steadied his breathing for a few ticks. It was enough time for the engineer to stop moving and look right at them with its glassy, sunken, cloudy eyes. It’s gaping mouth suddenly let out a chilling siren sound. It sounded like an air raid siren. Hunk shot the creature, but the damage was already done.

The sound of thousands of metal feet scuttled through the hallways, behind the walls, along the pipes above them, and from the crawl spaces below them. Hunk did his best to try and keep the creatures at bay, but he was only one man against a swarm. Some of them slipped through and Shiro did his best to fend them off with Pidge, but these things were relentless and felt no pain at all.

A voice suddenly crackled over the speakers. _“Stand down.”_ Said a calm, almost melodic male voice. The voice seemed to instantly placate the engineers as they immediately backed off. _“Good. Now get back to work. Ignore them.”_ The engineers loudly scuttled back off into the darkness, confusing the heck out of the paladins. _“Now, who are you three?”_

Shiro frowned and responded to the voice at the console. Everyone was wary of this person that could control the engineers. “We’re the Paladin’s of Voltron… Who might you be?”

They laughed a little and clapped their hands. _“Ha, the Paladin’s of Voltron… Of course you are… I am Lachesis, or more commonly known by my congregation as the Architect.”_

That name sent a chill up Hunk’s spine. They had gotten a few warnings about that person, but no one really talked too much about it or wanted to talk too much about them. Their silence seemed to amuse the Architect.

 _“Ah, I take it that Clotho has told you about me? Oh, my mistake, I believe she goes by Null now? I and Atropos miss her dearly and really wish she didn’t hide herself away from the rest of us.”_ They said. _“These are joyous days! And you should feel blessed to be witness to it all! Your penance through suffering brings the god’s great joy!”_

“There is no joy in suffering!” Snapped Pidge.

_“Do you not feel joy once the suffering is over? The relief one feels is euphoric! How beautiful! How perfect! We must give ourselves to the gods!”_

The way they were talking really creeped the hell out of Hunk. This place was just a cult of death where nothing ever really died. He didn’t want everyone to die. He just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. He was however, keeping an eye on what was happening around them. He was trying to see if the engineers were getting closer than he felt comfortable.

_“So rejoice! Like I always do, I am giving you lost children the chance to come and revel in the joy that is penance!”_

“Why would we want to join you?” Asked Shiro.

 _“Because you have no choice.”_ They whistled and the sound of the engineers started to run towards them. _“Rejoice and be merry! Again and again we will meet! Again and again we will have this conversation! Because I am the Architect and this is my design!”_

Hundreds of engineers started to pour into the room. Their metal limbs slamming hard against the ground as they dashed towards the Paladins. Hunk swore under his breath and started to shoot at them. It didn’t matter though. They just… kept… coming...


	227. Fishy names (Monsters and manna AU XIX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for something lighthearted. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The group had sat around the table as they went over their notes before the next session. They hadn’t been able to play Monsters and Manna for a while. There were a lot of things going on with the Galra, so they needed to catch up on a few things.

“Alright.” Said Coran. “Let’s have a bit of a recap, shall we? So, correct me if I am wrong, but you went and collected Meklavar’s heirloom gem, and figured out you need it to free Block’s village. Correct?” Everyone nodded in agreement. “You also found out about Thundar’s family heritage through going through the underdark?”

“Pike and Thundar fucked.” Said Lance. Pidge punched his arm.

Coran nodded and twirled his mustache. “Why yes. Now, we’re going to skip ahead a little to meet Thundar’s mother. Is everyone okay with that?” Everyone nodded again, and Coran started the session.

***

The group ended up sitting around the dining table at the Makrabork’s table. Meklavar and Valayun had a very good sleep, while Block was a little uneasy. Shiro too felt a little uneasy about the whole underdark situation, but he did manage to have a good sleep. Pike and Thundar had a very, very good night.

Vankol and several other members of the Makraborks were sitting around the table eating breakfast. They were making small talk in an elf dialect that Valayun and Thundar were having trouble understanding. No one else knew elvish in the first place.

Vankol suddenly cleared his throat. “Rolkia shall be returning by about midday.”

***

“Rolkia?” Questioned Keith. “Really?”

“Shush!” Hissed Pidge. “You’re breaking the immersion.”

***

“Is Rolkia my mother?” Questioned Thundar.

Vankol nodded. “Yes. She will be very interested in meeting you. Once you have finished eating you may walk around and do what you please. Our home is open to you. Please respect it.”

Everyone nodded and went about exploring the Makraborks estate. Pike, Thundar, and Shiro headed down to the gardens. Thunder easily identified that most of the plants there were in fact, poisonous. Which made Pike and Shiro stay as far away from the plants as much as possible.

“Are you excited to meet Rolkia?” Asked Shiro.

Thundar shrugged. “I… I don’t know. I mean I am, but what if she doesn’t like me? What’s your relationships like with your mothers? Good? Bad? Strained?”

“I have a good relationship with her.” Said Shiro. “Lady Sakura Shirogane is a noble woman of the Gillian kingdom. I am her only son and she has told me she is very proud that I have become a paladin. My father was also a paladin.”

Thundar nodded and looked over at Pike. “What about you?”

“My mama loves me a lot. Babied me a fair bit. But she loves me.” Said Pike. “I’m sure she will like you too… That reminds me, we need to see her the next time we are in the city. Mama would love to meet you all. Especially you Thundar.” He purred. “Mama’s always happy to meet someone that’s gonna become part of our family.”

Thundar blushed. “I um…”

“Aw, she’ll love you.” He hugged Thundar and grinned. Which made Thundar whine in annoyance. Which made Pike hug him more.

“Shiro! Make him stop!” Whined Thundar.

Shiro shook his head. “You two decided to consummate your relationship without the blessing of the goddess Lalaluna, so you have to pay for the consequences.”

Thundar pouted and Pike continued to nuzzle the side of his head. “Aw, don’t be all pouty. You loved it last night when I-”

“You’ll shut your mouth if you want to keep all your teeth!” Growled Thundar.

Pike grinned and smooched his cheek. Thundar huffed and attempted to walk over to the fountain in the middle of the garden to try and throw Pike into it. Pike did not like this and quickly squirmed around him to try and avoid his fate. It was an interesting struggle say the least.

As they grappled with each other, a female drow walked into the garden. She instantly noticed the trio and approached Shiro. “Hello? Who might you be?”

Shiro looked at her and offered her his hand to shake. “Shiro of Gillian. I am here with my party. Um… Three of my group are still in the home. I’m sorry, I didn’t see you at the table this morning. Who might you be?” 

“I am Rolkia Makraborks.” She said.

Hearing her name made both Pike and Thundar stop their shenanigans and immediately walked over to her. “You’re Rolkia?” Asked Thundar.

“Yes…” She looked at Thundar with curiosity. “Who might you be?”

“... I’m Thundar. Vankol said that you were my mother.” He said quietly.

“...” Seconds later she pulled Thundar close and hugged him tightly. “Thundar… I have long since dreamed of this day…”

“I… I think I have too.” He hugged her tightly and all the tension in his body melted away. Hugging her made him feel warm and kind of safe.

It was a sweet moment, then Pike spoke. “So, why did you name him Thundar?”

“In his father’s village it was tradition for a child born in an odd month to be named after a weather phenomenon and those in an even month to be named after an animal. Hence why his name was Fox.”

Pike raised an eyebrow but dismissed it. “Okay. Fair enough. Mama named all of us after fish. I have an older sister called Tuna.”

***

“Is that cannon now?” Asked Hunk. “You have a sister called Tuna?”

“Yes.”

Hunk nodded and made a note of that. “Who else?”

“I will think of their names eventually…” Clearly Lance did not know what else to call his siblings. He would need to browse his datapad to find some better fish names.

***

Rolkia shrugged and turned her attention back to her son. “We have much to talk about. Please, come with me. I wish to speak with you.” Thundar nodded in agreement and the two of them walked deeper into the garden.

Pike attempted to follow, but Shiro held him back. “No, let them talk. They have emotions they need to sort out between themselves without us.”

“But I want to meddle!”

“No.”

***

“Okay, I’m going to cut that off here.” Said Coran. “I haven’t really finished off Rolkia’s backstory and motivations just yet, so we’ll have to slip over to the others. This session’s very RP heavy today.”

Allura shrugged. “Well, we have done a lot of fighting recently. Let’s continue.”

As the other three role played, Lance thought about what else to call his siblings. He already had Tuna. Maybe Squid? Guppy? He looked over at Keith who was looking through his notes. He happily nudged his arm and spoke quietly so the others weren’t bothered.

“Hey. Can you give me some types of fish?”

“Huh?”

“I need to think up names for my siblings.”

“Um… Salmon?”

“Salmon?”

“... I miss eating salmon…”

“Same.”

“Catfish?”

“...” Lance chuckled at the thought and wondered if Rachel would try and murder him if he called the character based off of her, Catfish. “Maybe… If our characters have kids can we call one of them guppy?”

Keith shrugged. “Compromise.”

“Yeah?”

“If your character births it, your character names it.”

Lance was slightly flustered by this but easily relented. It seemed fair. Now he needed to see if there was some spell in the monster’s and manna manual that talked about gender change spells or spells that would allow a same sex couple to have a baby. He was going to have his small child named Guppy even if he had to put Pike through 9 months of growing the damn thing, or however long it took for a Womblax to pop out a baby.


	228. Inner peace and bison (AtLA AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is trying... and Lance is getting an idea. Kudos and comments when you can. Enjoy :D

On the top of some ancient mountain Keith was being forced by Adam to meditate. It was pretty hard because it was very, very windy, and Atlus was sitting right behind the both of them, breathing down the back of their necks. Keith found this very unnerving.

“Hey Adam?”

“Yeah?”

“Why the fuck are we here?” He asked. “This is all very…”

“Bullshit?”

“Yep.”

Adam chuckled. “Yeah. Well this whole thing isn’t about finding inner peace like Takashi has been trying to get you to do. This is more of a… Just relax kind of thing. You shouldn’t feel like you have to find inner peace when you meditate. You just need to relax and find your center.”

Keith grumbled a little at Adam’s wording. Finding his center was some kind of inner peace thing, right? It was annoying. He didn’t even know what inner peace was anyway. It was complete bullshit. He just didn’t want to set everything on fire when he looked at it.

“You’re not relaxing, are you?” Asked Adam.

“Not at all…”

“Eh, these things happen. You’re a teen still right? Teens have weird things going on with them.” Said Adam. “Lots of hormones going crazy, mood swings, chasing girls, chasing boys… You got the hots for anyone?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “No. Who the fuck would be interested in someone like me anyway?”

“I didn’t ask if anyone was interested in you.” Said Adam. “I asked if you were interested in anyone. There is a difference.”

“Oh… Well no. Not in a romantic sense.” Muttered Keith. He had been too worried about himself to really look at other people. The only people that he really cared about were Shiro and his dad. He wanted to make them both proud of him. Being able to control his fire would do that. He was honestly surprised he didn’t have scars all over his body. Besides, who would fine him attractive when they found out he couldn’t control his fire.

Adam suddenly tapped Keith on the head with his staff. “Quit it.”

“Ow! Quit what?!” Snapped Keith as he rubbed his head.

“Brooding and overthinking things.” Said Adam. “Look, inner peace and all that shit isn’t about being some peace loving tree hugger. It’s about finding peace in yourself.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means you need to come to terms with what you are and just accept it. Take meditation as time to reflect on your actions and try to change the things you don’t like about yourself.”

“Right…”

Adam shrugged. “Just learn to love yourself first. Self love is important… And by the way if you do need to do that kind of self loving you-”

“I will set your ass on fire if you finish that sentence.”

Adam smirked. “Yeah, whatever. Just think about the things you like about yourself.” Atlas made a gurgling sound before they decided to lie down and huff. “And you can shut up too fatty!”

Keith chuckled a little. “Are you sure you like your bison?”

“Atlas is my best friend.” Said Adam. “I’m pretty sure he calls me a dick behind my back in bison anyway.” They gurgled some more and Adam patted his nose. “I know you do fat boy… Anyway, I know a lot of people are still biased against firebenders. Don’t want them around.”

“Don’t remind me…”

“But those people are fucking stupid.” Said Adam like it was obvious. “All four elements need to exist and be in balance for any of us to exist. All things need water to live. All things need earth for their food in some way, shape or form. All things need air to breathe… And most importantly, all things need fire to live. Without fire there is no life. All elements need to live together in harmony. No one element is good or evil.”

“But fire…”

“Tsunamis, landslides, cyclones.” Said Adam calmly. “But no one sees those elements as evil. It’s a natural thing that happens. They are just a force of nature. What makes fire any different?”

“Because it isn’t natural!” Snapped Keith. “Where the fuck is fire in the wild? Everything else is everywhere! Not fire! Why do I have to have the only fucking element that is never and I mean never naturally occurring?!”

Adam didn’t seem phased by this outburst and just yawned. “Yeah, gonna call bullshit on that one. For one, lava is a thing. Liquid, fire rock. Completely natural. Also, if tree sap hits the sun in just the right way… Forest fire. Fire is as natural as anything.”

“... It isn’t natural.”

“Keep telling yourself that. Now keep meditating until you find something you like about yourself.” Said Adam. Keith sighed as he had to face the facts. He was going to fucking die on the top of this mountain before he was able to do that.

***

While Adam and Keith were up on a mountain, the rest of the group were still hanging around the flying bison sanctuary place. A few of the air nomads came by to drop provisions off for Adam, and were more than happy to do some trading with Hunk when they realized he was there. They expressed some regret about not speaking up for them when Sanda kicked them out of the temple and expressed this by trading lots of goods with him.

While he did that, Shiro was attempting to brush Kuro with a bison comb, Pidge was lazing on said bison’s back, and Lance was playing with Blue in the pond. It was a pretty lazy day. Though Lance wanted to head up the mountain too. He wanted to get out and about. Especially now that they got kicked out of the temple.

He sighed as he made the water rise around Blue and let her fall back down in what was essentially a water elevator. Blue happily quacked and attempted to swim down the water elevator several times.

“At least you’re having fun.”

“Quack!”

“Yeah, I know.” He waved the water spout away and Blue happily got out of the water, wiggled her tail to flick some water off of it and sat next to him. He ran his fingers over her shell. Which made Blue give him an affectionate peck on the shoe.

“Quack.”

“Thank you… Yeah, I’m a little bummed. Keith’s all sad and stuff. I don’t really know how to make him feel better…”

“Quack.” She pecked his shoe again.

Lance sighed and picked her up. He watched as her little feet wiggled in the air. “I don’t think Keith would like me pecking at his shoe…” Suddenly his eyes lit up. “Oh! I know! It might not actually do anything, but I just need to make it look like it will work! I think Allura called it a placebo or something?”

Blue tilted his head to the side. “Quack?”

“Don’t you worry baby Blue. I got this.” He put her back in the pond and walked back over to Shiro.

Shiro was attempting to brush some fur away from Kuro’s eyes. Kuro wasn’t very pleased by this and snorted repeatedly at him. “I know you don’t like this, but I assume you like being able to see?”

“Hey Shiro! I got a question for you!” Said Lance happily.

“Yeah Lance? What’s up?”

“What does Keith know about healing?”

Shiro gave him a confused look. “Um, what?”

“Like waterbending healing.” Said Lance as he moved his arms in a wave-like motion. “It’s a technique that all the female waterbenders know in the Northern Waterbender tribe. Allura taught me some stuff too.”

“We don’t really know much about that.” Said Shiro. “I wasn’t even aware that was a thing.”

“Oh! I know about that!” Said Pidge as she slid off of Kuro. “You guys can like, channel the waters inside a person’s body to heal them.”

Shiro continued to look surprised. “Oh wow… I… I didn’t know that was a thing… So you can do that too?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Not as good as Allura, but I can do some basic stuff.”

Shiro nodded a little as he looked Lance over with a scrupulous look. “So… Why do you want to know if Keith knows about this? He doesn’t by the way, but why?”

“Because Keith’s been all stressed out and stuff because of that Sanda bitch.” Said Lance. “I want to help him relax. So I thought that I’d do a little water tribe stuff on him. Might make him feel better?”

“It might…” Said Shiro. “Well, if you can convince him to do it then I don’t see why not. What kind of healing are you planning on doing?”

“Just a bit of muscle relaxation.” Said Lance. “Today has been really stressful for him.”

Pidge nodded in agreement. “Yeah. That Sanda bitch fucking sucks. I know lots of people don’t like firebenders, but she’s just a bitch.”

“She isn’t a bitch.” Said Shiro. “She’s just a little… Yeah, okay she’s a bitch. But she does have a lot to deal with. We’re still trying to recover all the information we can about air nomads. It’s very difficult, even with the Avatar occasionally coming by to help us.”

“The Avatar comes here?” Asked Pidge.

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. He does from time to time. Anyway, is there anything we need to do for this water healing thing?”

Lance shook his head. “No. It just needs to be done at night for the full effect. Would be best if it was a full moon, but it’s waxing at the moment so it’s getting fuller by the night.”

Pidge nodded. “Right, and you guys get more powerful with the size of the moon?”

Lance grinned and nodded. “Yeah. Princess Yue will hopefully give me enough power to pull this off.”

“Princess Yue?” Questioned Pidge.

“Oh, she’s a relative of mine that sacrificed herself to become the moon spirit after the original moon spirit got killed when the firenation tried to take the Northern Water tribe.” He explained. Pidge and Shiro shared a disbelieving look and went back to combing Kuro. Lance pouted and walked back to the pond. Just in time to see Blue almost getting slurped up by a baby bison. “HEY!?”


	229. Bath time panic (Modern fantasy AU XXX)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herpetophobia is a fear of reptiles. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

It was a warm and sunny day as Moontow scrounged around the playground to find shiny objects. The hobbit’s actions happened to catch Narti’s attention as she was going for a walk, and after talking, Narti started to help the hobbit look for shiny things too. The two of them spent the better half of the day stuffing their pockets full of things like marbles, plastic tokens, rocks, and anything else that was sparkly.

They only stopped when they physically couldn’t stuff their pockets anymore. Moontow laughed in delight and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Man, we really found a lot of nice stuff… But I think we got a little carried away… I got my only good clothes dirty… And I’m all sweaty.”

Narti nodded in agreement as she had gotten her clothes rather dirty too. The dragon thought for a moment before she nodded slowly. _“I know just the place we can go. Follow me.”_ She started to walk out of the park with Moontow quickly following behind her.

After a few minutes of walking they ended up at a building and walked inside one of the doors. They stood in the entrance way and Lance stared at them with both a confused and terrified expression. He was still scared of reptiles and Narti’s presence in his house was triggering his herpetophobia. 

He couldn’t even speak to her as she walked past him and into the bathroom. He had to look away and hold his breath. Lance was very confused as to why Narti just walked into his bathroom.

“Um, where are we?” Asked Moontow.

“My house?” Answered Lance in confusion. He had no idea what was going on.

Moontow seemed to relax a little. “Oh sweet. I wasn’t sure where Narti was taking me. We came to use your bath.”

“... Really? That’s why you two are here?” Asked Lance. “Well, stranger things have happened, be my guest. Your clothes are pretty dirty too. What happened? Did you get into a fight?”

Moontow shook her head. “Nah, we were caught up hunting for shinies we didn’t even notice.”

Lance didn’t really understand what she meant by that, but he was just glad they didn’t go and get themselves hurt. “Well, if you like I can also give your clothes a quick wash. I don’t have anything that’s really in your size for you to wear in the meantime… Are you okay with just wearing a T-shirt?”

“That’d be nice. Thanks.” She reached into her pocket and held something out to Lance in a closed fist. “Here. Payment for services.”

“Oh, you don’t need to pay me. I need to do laundry anyway.”

“I insist.” Said Moontow sternly. “I don’t want to be in your debt. If you don’t take it I’ll just leave right now.”

Lance sighed a little reluctantly and held out his hand to take the payment. “Okay. I’ll take-”

Narti suddenly came stumbling out of the bathroom in just her underwear with her shirt caught on her horns. _“I require assistance…”_ Lance froze in terror and tried to remind himself that Narti was a dragon and not a horrible scaly monster that would bite him.

“The hell are you doing?” Asked Moontow. She sighed and directed her back into the bathroom. “Geez, I’ll help you get it off… By the way, human, your payment is one shiny rock.” 

The two of them went into the bathroom and after a few seconds of deep breathing, Lance looked down at the rock in his hand. Moontow’s payment was a marble. One of those cats eye ones. Clear with a swirl of white and dark blue streaked through the middle. He was a little surprised that she gave him a marble, but he was okay with it.

Suddenly the bathroom door opened up and Moontow happily walked out with a towel draped around her like a robe. “Ah, that was refreshing.”

“You’re done already?!” He asked in shock.

The hobbit just nodded. “Yep. We hobbits live in the fast lane. We don’t like to stew in the tub. Stewing is for potatoes.”

“Um… you should probably stay in the tub for a bit longer. You and Natri have been working hard all day, right? In that case you really should stay longer in the tub so you won’t be sore tomorrow.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Well, a hot bath alleviates your fatigue through multiple means.” Explained Lance. “Heat raises the surface temperature of the skin, your body temperature rises and therefore improves your blood circulation. Hydrostatic pressure, which is water in the tub applying pressure to the body, puts pressure on your body which prevents blood pooling in limbs so it helps with recirculation. Buoyancy force reduces apparent body weight by about 90%, which relieves tension in muscles and joints. So long story short, better blood flow means the substances that cause fatigue are more quickly moved from your muscles which accelerates your recovery.”

“... Hmm, okay.”

Lance was on a roll now as he quickly spouted off his knowledge on baths. “Furthermore, soaking in a cooler bath of about 38-40°C for around 10-15 minutes activates the parasympathetic nervous system. That relaxes your mind and puts your body into rest mode, which is said to improve your sleep. It’s the opposite to the sympathetic nervous system that is active when you’re awake and moving around. You should have a warm bath in the morning to help activate-”

“Might as well get my money’s worth!” Said Moontow quickly and retreated back into the bathroom.

Lance just shrugged and went to the kitchen to check on the tea he had been brewing for Keith and Krolia. Those two had gone for a walk and should be back soon.

***

Moontow sighed and walked back into the bathroom. “Man… Lance really likes to talk your ear off huh? It’s fucking crazy.” 

When she got into the bathroom, she saw that Narti was naked and sitting on a little plastic stool in the bathtub. She wasn’t moving. Just sitting there. Waiting.

“Um… You waiting for something?”

_“Stop neglecting your duties.”_

“What?”

Narti thumped her tail against the tub in annoyance. _“Hurry up and wash me.”_ This behaviour was kind of annoying, but not unexpected. As a dragon, Narti was seen as practically a god in their world. If they demanded something from someone else they would do it, or get eaten. This was possibly part of the reason why she got fat. Before coming to this world she never did anything for herself. _“I am a dragon, the apex predator, she who stands above-”_

“Yeah, I get it. Calm your horns missy.” Said Moontow. While Narti’s attitude was a little annoying, Narti was good at finding shiny things. Which Mootow loved. So she might as well be nice to the dragon to get her hands on some more impressive shiny things. “Don’t you worry! I’ll make your scales shiny and your hair pretty!”

_“Good.”_

Moontow hummed as she looked through the different bottles in and around the shower area. She had no idea what to use. “Um… Let’s go with the pricy looking stuff… What a weird looking lid...” She removed the pump nozzle and almost completely emptied the bottle onto Narti’s head before she started to run her fingers through the dragon’s hair. She was surprised that it was foaming up so much. “Is this good?”

_“No. You are doing well.”_

“Man this stuff rules! Looks at all the suds!” Said Moontow. “I’m gonna get in on this! We can’t forget the body of course.” 

The two of them ended up getting completely covered in soap before Moontow rinsed them all off and filled the tub with warm water. The tub was big enough for the both of them to comfortably sit in, so they did. Moontow sighed in delight. Perhaps Lance was onto something about stewing in a tub like a potato?

“Man, this is so relaxing… I could just fall asleep in here. This is so good. What do you think Narti? … Narti?” She looked over at the dragon just to see her slip below the surface of the water. With a fair bit of effort, Moontow managed to pull the dragon out of the tub and dumped her on the floor. “Damn it! If that had actually killed you I’d probably be known as the least qualified dragon slayer!”

Narti snorted out some water and shook her head a few times. After that, Moontow and Narti grabbed some towels to dry themselves off. Narti just stared at the towles in mild annoyance while Moontow happily tried her hair and body.

“Man, I feel awesome. I guess taking your time in the bath isn’t that bad huh? What do you think Narti? Narti?” She looked over to where Narti was and found that the dragon was gone and the bathroom door was open. She suddenly heard a screech coming from somewhere in the house and quickly ran out to see that Lance had fainted on the living room floor with Narti standing over him, soaking wet and holding a towel.

 _“Now is not the time for sleep.”_ Grumbled Natri in annoyance. _“I demand tht you try me.”_

“... Why are you walking around naked?” Asked Moontow. “And what happened to Lance?”

_“He just fell asleep.”_

Moontow nodded knowingly. “Ahh… Must be his parasympathetic nervous system kicking in. He says you go to sleep when it activates, or something.”

_“I see…”_

“What the hell did you two just do to him?” Asked a particularly pissed off looking elf. Keith had just returned from his walk with Krolia. Both were sweating pretty heavily. “Why the hell are you here in the first place?!”

“We came to use the bath.” Said Moontow.

 _“The dragon slender fell asleep.”_

Keith sighed as he put the pieces together. “... Okay, fine… I think I know what happened. Narti, stop being a burden on Lance and dry off by yourself.”

_“I refuse.”_

“And Moontow… Don’t steal anything.”

“Why would you think I’d steal anything?!”

“There are lots of shiny things here.” Said Keith. “If you dare take anything I’ll turn you upside down and shake the shiny things out of your pockets.” 

“I’m not some common thief dang it.”

Keith rolled his eyes and turned around, walking to the bathroom. “Now behave yourselves. Mum and I are gonna have a bath. Just behave yourselves until we come out.”

There was a beat of silence between Moontow and Narti before Moontow grabbed Narti’s towel. “Argh, fine. I’ll dry you off. You’re making the floor all wet.”

_“Thank you.”_

As Moontow dried Narti’s hair, Keith suddenly came running into the lounge room, very pissed, naked, and holding the now empty bottle that Moontow had used. “You little bitch! You used all my shampoo! What the fu-!?” Keith slipped on a puddle of water left behind by Narti. He slipped and headbutted the wall, knocking himself out.

Narti looked over at him. _“... He fell asleep.”_

Moontow nodded in agreement. “Looks like his parasympathetic nervous system kicked in too.” Once the two were dried, they retrieved their now clean clothes from the dryer and left. During this time both Lance and Keith continued to lay where they fell in the lounge room, while Krolia enjoyed a nice quiet bath by herself.


	230. New arrival (X-men AU XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone new has arrived... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Sometime during the day, Keith managed to sneak down to the common room and curled up on the couch. He decided to just watch TV for a bit before maybe going to the garage and work on his bike some more. It was almost finished. When it was finished he just wanted to go for a long drive somewhere. He didn’t know where though.

As he laid there watching some animal documentary that was playing he started to keep thinking about how shitty he had been when he went to Lance’s house. He should have just stayed at the school. He didn’t understand wny Lance liked him so much that he would let him into his life. He was pretty sure that once the holidays were over Lance wouldn’t talk to him again.

Not that he could blame him. Keith ruined his relationship with his family. In the end, Lance was going to hate him and just forget he existed. Which was fine. Keith didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. He closed his eyes and started to nervously run his fangs over his knuckle. He was a piece of shit. No better than a stray animal. At least some kind soul might want a stray animal. Unlike him.

“Are you okay there Keith?” Asked Coran.

Keith looked up at him in surprise for a moment before nodding. “Yeah… I… I’m fine.”

“Hmm, you don’t seem fine.” He sat down beside him and smiled kindly at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No…”

“But?”

“... I ruined Lance’s life with the family.” Said Keith quietly. “I wish I never went there.”

“You know it isn’t your fault, right?”

“Yeah…”

“... The new tires came in the other day.” Said Coran. “Want to come to the garage and tinker some more with your bike?”

“... Yeah.”

Coran helped Keith up and the two of them walked over to the garage. Keith instantly started to work on his bike. He was happy that Coran just gave him the tools he needed and let him get on with it. Someday Keith was going to just get on his bike and drive away. Far away from here… But he would graduate first. He couldn’t let Shiro and Adam down like that. They were the only people that really cared about him. He couldn’t hurt them by dropping out.

He felt so guilty about not being the perfect little mutant they probably wanted him to be. Maybe things would be easier if he just had the cat ears and tail? The whole being purple thing really sucked.

He felt his ears droop down along with his tail as he thought more about it. He knew that he needed to stop thinking about that. He was pretty much an adult. He needed to get over the fact everyone was repulsed by his appearance. He wished he could get over it. He looked down at the grease already forming on his nails and fingers. He needed to have a bath today.

***

Lance did explore the school on his own for a bit, but it was kind of boring after a while. He ended up going back to Keith’s room to see if he was feeling any better, but he wasn’t there. He thought that maybe Keith went to the bathroom. He waited around for a bit to see if he would come back, but when he didn’t. Lance gave up waiting and ended up hanging out in the common room. It was boring.

He sighed loudly and looked through his phone again. Pidge and her brother had somehow blown up a microwave in her backyard. He had to question if this was okay since Pidge could talk to machines and all that, but apparently this was a really pissed off microwave and demanded that it get taken out in a blaze of glory. Who was he to say that wasn’t what the microwave wanted?

Hunk was out with his family and was sharing a few pictures and posts about things he was doing with his family. It was very wholesome. He apparently had a huge family, like, way bigger than he thought. Lots of cousins and such. A few of them seemed to also have inherited Hunk’s kinetic mutation, which was nice. Lance wondered if he had any relatives with a mutation like him? That would be cool.

After a few minutes he checked on Tex’s page. The man had posted a picture of a few happy looking cows in a field and some links to some local farming supply stations and charity drives in his town. It had been less than a day, but Lance really, really wanted to ask him if he wanted to meet Keith. He wanted Keith to meet him too. Fuck, this was hard.

He sighed dramatically and dropped his phone onto his chest. As he did so, Adam walked up to him and leaned over the couch. “So, what are you doing?”

“Stalking the socials to see what was going on.” Said Lance. “Where’s Keith?”

“Do I look like Allura?”

“Huh?”

“A mind reader.” Adam poked Lance’s forehead with an icy finger, which made Lance cringe. “Anyway, isn’t Keith in his room?”

“No.”

“Bathroom?”

“No.”

“Kitchen?”

“No.”

“Garage?”

“... I didn’t check there yet.”

Adam patted his back. “Well off you go. Get out of here and find him.”

“Yeah, okay.” Lance sighed and got up. He started to walk down to the garage, and as he did, he happened to see someone walking up the very long driveway. Someone he hadn’t seen before. A man with darker skin. He looked very disheveled with headphones on his ears. He kind of seemed homeless? Maybe? “... Um excuse me sir? Do you need some help?”

They ignored Lance and continued to walk towards the school. They were muttering something to themselves over and over again. It kind of sounded like he was saying variations of; “Shut up” over and over again. It was odd.

“Sir? H-hello? Do you need-?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” He yelled. “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”

Lance quickly jumped back. “Woah! Calm down! Let’s just take a deep breath and-”

“SHUT UP!” Yelled the man as he pointed at a tree. “SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’M HERE AREN’T I? SHUT UP! FUCK OFF! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!” He then pointed at the ground. “YOU TOO! SHUT UP!”

Lance slowly started to back away. Either this person had mental issues or he was some kind of mutant. He wasn’t sure which one it was though. Luckily the shouting allerted Shiro and he landed by Lance. He was just as confused as Lance was.

“What’s going on?”

“No clue.” Said Lance. “Guys just started screaming. Not sure if he’s got some mental issues or is a mutant. He just started screaming.”

“You have any idea what his powers might be?”

“... I just said I have no idea if he’s a mutant or not.”

“Right… Okay let me deal with this…” Shiro cautiously approached the man, and while his back was turned, still screaming at the ground, Shiro put them in a sleeper hold. The man passed out in Shiro’s arms just as Adam, Keith, and Coran came over.

“What’s with all the screaming?” Asked Coran.

“Shiro, did you just kill a man?” Asked Adam.

“Is that a homeless guy?” Asked Keith.

Coran walked over to the man and quickly looked him over. “Hmmm, interesting… Well, he could be a homeless mutant, or just homeless… We should take him inside. I’ll need to get in contact with Allura. She’ll be able to tell if he’s a mutant or not. Come on you two, help me get the poor man inside.”

“W-what happens if he isn’t a mutant?” Asked Lance.

“A quick meal and trip to the hospital.” Said Coran as he led Adam and Shiro inside. “Now you two stay outside until we are done.”

“... Okay?” Lance watched as they dragged the man inside and awkwardly looked over at Keith. “Um… So were you working on your bike?”

“... Yeah.” Muttered Keith.

“Can I watch?” Asked Lance. “I don’t know much, but you could teach me?”

“I’m not much for teaching…”

“I could watch?”

“If you want…”

Lance smiled and followed Keith back to the garage. When they got there, Keith quietly went back to working on his bike. Lance silently sat on a stool and watched Keith work. He noticed that Keith’s ears were drooping forward slightly and he, over all, just looked sad.

“... Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“... You know I don’t blame you for anything that happened, right?”

“...”

“You did nothing wrong. You can’t be doing something wrong by just existing.”

“...”

“I still have some strawberry hard candy in my room. Do you want to eat some after you’re done?”

“... Yeah. I would.”

***

The trio had taken the unconscious man to Allura’s office. Once there Coran opened a secret panel in the wall and the trio ended up traveling down an elevator to Allura’s personal laboratory. She, along with most of the staff, were determined to help as many mutants as possible and did what they could to do that. 

Sometimes to do that they needed to contain a mutant or help them recover in a secure environment. They took the man to one of the secure rooms. It looked like a hospital room, but much cleaner. Just in case they strapped the man down to the bed with kevlar straps to try and make sure he was secure.

While Shiro and Adam were doing that, Coran called Allura and explained the situation. After a few minutes he hung up and looked over at the other men. “Alright. Allura will project herself here in a few ticks. Is the patient secure?”

“As secure he can be.” Said Adam.

Suddenly a silvery blue shape shimmered into existence in the far corner of the room. After about a minute the shimmering shape changed into the form of Allura. Projecting herself so far away from her body. She spoke with an echoey voice.

“Hello everyone.” She said. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for pleasantries. This is very difficult to do.” Her form floated over towards the man on the bed and she gently placed her hands on either side of his head. “... He is a mutant… A very troubled mutant.”

“What’s his name?” Asked Coran as he took out a notebook to jot this all down.

Allura was quiet for a moment. “Curtis… Oh dear… He can talk to animals, but he has hypersensitive hearing to certain frequencies… His whole life he has heard nothing but constant noise. Every insect chitter, every bird chirp, every growl and hiss… He’s spent most of his life thinking he’s crazy…”

“That sucks.” Said Adam. “So… We keep him down here and get him cleaned up until we get him some headphones or something?”

“Yes.” Said Allura. “That seems like the most reasonable solution for the moment. Mentaly he is fine for the most part. He will probably be scared when he wakes up, but just give him some time and try to help him understand where he is and what’s going on… I need to go now. This projection is giving me a headache…”

“Thank you Allura.” Said Shiro. “See you in a few weeks.” Allura nodded and her shimmering form vanished.

Coran nodded and continued to write down notes. “Hmm, I see… Interesting… Ryner should have some things around. I’ll email her and ask if she has any ideas. Might be a fun project for her star pupil.”

“As long as Pidge doesn’t blow anything up I’m good with it.” Said Adam. He sighed a little and looked Curtis over. “Okay, new clothes, maybe some flea and tick treatment, soap… He looks about your size, don’t you think Taka?”

Shiro shrugged. “I think he looks more like your build.”

Coran cleared his throat. “Well, while you two are gathering toiletry and clothing items, I’ll take first watch. I’ll let you boys know when he wakes up. The room here is practically sound proof, so this might be the first goodnight’s sleep he’s had in a long time.”

“Possibly.” Said Adam. He sighed a little and looked down at Curtis. “Poor man… I hope we can help him.”

“I’m sure we can.” Said Shiro. “And Allura will have a better idea of what to do when she gets back.”

Coran nodded in agreement and gently ushered the men out of the room. “Yes she shall. Now off with you two. Go and get those things and check on the boys. Lance might be a little shaken up.” The two men nodded and walked back to the elevator.


	231. Love talk (Witch AU XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More witch things happening, and Adam is no longer an ugly baby bird. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was very, very torn about his sudden relationship with Lance. On one hand he was happy about kissing Lance, but on the other hand, he kissed Lance. Lance was his familiar, but he loved him? Maybe? He didn’t know. He was so confused. He needed to talk to Shiro about this. Which was why he was back in Shiro’s tower.

Shiro was more than happy to talk to Keith, he always was. Adam was able to change into human form now, but he looked about ten and had to wear a very large robe. Lance was more than happy to entertain the phoenix. 

“Wow, you’re so small.” Mused Lance.

“Yeah, but at least I can walk around now.” Said Adam. “Makes it easier to grab my stuff… And I can sleep next to Shiro again…”

“Awwww, that’s cute.”

As the two talked, Keith quietly talked to Shiro. The older wicche seemed to notice that there was something going on with him and took him over to his desk while he left the familiars to play by the fire. Once they were a safe distance away, Shiro confronted him.

“So what’s going on?”

“... I think Lance and I are dating?”

“... You think?”

“Yes.”

Shiro looked confused. “How can you not know?”

“Well… We kind of went on a date and we kissed and… I really don’t know what to do.” Muttered Keith. “I honestly kind of thought I’d spend the rest of my life in my house with my familiar and kind of die alone…”

“That’s a little morbid.”

“Yeah, but I can’t help it.” Said Keith. “Lance is like… My ward? I’m meant to take care of him… I know he’s smart enough to make his own decisions but I still feel weird about this… How did you and Adam…”

“Fall in love?”

“Yeah…”

Shiro chuckled and looked over at the child that was slapping Lance’s hand away from his metal bowl. “Well, it was just over time. We just happened to click. Granted, I did feel like you do now at the time. I was very unsure about my feelings and worried that I might have been taking advantage of him but… Well, Adam said that if he wanted to leave me he just would, and I believe him.”

“I guess… Lance has said the same thing too, but I… It still feels a little weird to me.”

“Do you like him?”

“Well yeah…”

“And you liked kissing him?”

“... Yes. But I don’t think I should have… That’s the problem.”

Shiro shrugged. “You like him, so just go with it. He likes you and you like him, right? What’s the worst that can happen? He’ll just leave you if he really thinks that you’re not worth his time.”

“Thanks… I think…”

The older wicche sighed and put his hand on his shoulder. “Look, just have fun. You two like each other enough, right? You two might love each other.”

“Well I… I think I might…” Muttered Keith. “Maybe… It will just take a while. Maybe.”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah…”

“So how long until you and Adam… You know… went all the way?”

“...” Shiro’s face went bright red at that comment. “H-he was an adult!”

“I never said he wasn’t?”

“... A-anyway… It took a few months before we were intimate in that kind of way. Why? Have you and Lance?”

Now it was Keith’s turn to go bright red. “N-no! We haven’t I just… Never been in any kind of relationship before…”

Shiro frowned a little. “But I thought that-”

“Spin the bottle doesn’t count Shiro… I didn’t want to kiss any of those people anyway, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t want to kiss me. Anyway, I’m just not sure… If things go wrong then I’ll be alone… I won’t even have a familiar… And you know the stigma around wicche’s that don’t have a familiar...”

“You never know unless you give it a try.” Said Shiro calmly. “Why not just give it a go?”

“... I just don’t want to take advantage of him.”

“You won’t be. Pretty sure he would bite you if you tried anything.”

“He probably would.” Keith looked over at Lance. Lance was back to looking like a seal and on his back, slapping his belly. Adam was laying next to him and doing the same. It seemed like Lance was introducing Adam to the wonders of slap therapy. Though Adam looked a little confused by it. “I… I just wanted some advice on what to do.”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah, I get it. Just take a moment to think about what you want. I’m sure Lance will be happy with what you want to do either way, but you have to talk to him soon. The longer you prolong all this, the worse it could end up. Especially if Lance really wants to be with you and you’re still on the fence.”

“I know… I know...”

***

Later that evening the two of them were back at their house. Keith was doing a bit of cleaning, while thinking if he and Lance should start sharing a bed. He didn’t know if he needed to figure out something where there would be a sandy spot for him or not. He didn’t know.

Suddenly Lance had his arms wrapped around him and was resting his chin on his shoulder. “... Are you okay? You seem a little off?”

“Oh um… Just thinking about sleeping arrangements and stuff now.” Said Keith. “Like, since we are together and stuff then we should sleep in the same bed or something…”

Lance’s eyes lit up. “Really? You want to sleep together?”

“Yeah?”

Lance grinned and before Keith knew it, Lance was up the ladder in the small loft. They sat on the bed and looked down at him. He grinned at him and waved. “Man, it’s really high up here. It’s really weird you know? Being so high up, but not as high as Shiro’s tower. Why does he have to live that high up anyway?”

Keith shrugged. “The view?”

“Maybe?” Lance flopped back onto the bed and made some happy seal sounds.

Keith rolled his eyes and continued to sweep up the floor. “So… Do you like hanging out with Adam?”

“Yeah. I like kids.” Lance started to happily slap on his tummy. “Adam’s still as snarky as ever. Kind of nice he isn’t screeching anymore. He was very loud.”

“Yeah, Adam is quite a loud bird when he wants to be.” Mused Keith as he continued to sweep the dirt and dust out of the door. 

The air outside was starting to get a little chilly. The seasons were starting to change. Was Lance going to be okay in winter? Would he need to eat more food to get fat for the Winter? He wasn’t 100% sure how that worked. He might need to talk to Lance and ask him if he should start feeding him some tallow and lard with his food? He didn’t want Lance to get too cold.

“Are you okay?” Asked Lance.

“Hmm?”

“You look like you’re thinking hard about something. What’s up?”

“It’s getting cold.” Said Keith. “You’re going to need to either eat more food or start wearing clothes to stay warm.”

Lance huffed a little at that. “Eh, maybe… But I’ll be fine. Really… I’ll just stay in my seal form during winter. I’ll stay nice and toasty.”

“If that’s what you want to do then go ahead.” Said Keith. “... I still want to get you a cloak or something for Winter. Just in case. I don’t want you to get sick or anything.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.” Cooed Lance. “I’d appreciate it… I can get you something too if you like?”

“You don’t have to…”

“Nope! I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna get you something nice!” Declared Lance. “I have no idea what I’m going to get you, but I will get it for you!”

“As you wish.” Keith continued to sweep.

***

When it came to sleeping together in the same bed, Lance was very happy about everything, but Keith seemed nervous. Lance didn’t really understand this. They were dating now, right? So sharing a bed shouldn’t be a problem? He didn’t understand why Keith was sleeping right on the edge of the bed as far away from him as possible.

“Keith?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you move a little closer to me?” Asked Lance quietly. “Do I smell or something?”

“No.” Keith rolled over and looked over to Lance. “I just… I haven’t been close to anyone like this before… It almost feels wrong.”

Hearing that made Lance feel sad. He didn’t want to make Keith uncomfortable. “Oh… Sorry… I can go back to sleeping in my bed on the ground floor.”

“No, it’s fine.” Keith moved closer to him and reached over to pull Lance closer, which Lance quietly loved. “I’m just not used to this… I don’t get close to people like this. So it might take awhile for me to…”

“It’s okay.” Said Lance quietly. He cuddled Keith and gently kissed his face and neck. “I love you Keith. I really do. You take all the time you need. I’ll be here for you. I promise. I won’t abandon you. I swear.”

“I know. Thank you.” Keith gently hugged him. Lance smiled and held him as close. Sleeping next to Keith felt warm. He loved Keith so much.


	232. Drinks (Shop AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did things turn out well? It's all a matter of perspective. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was very, very surprised and kind of nervous that he was going to go to a bar with Keith. Keith actually wanted to go somewhere with him… It was weird. Maybe he was the strong, quiet type? He was Shiro’s brother after all… Then again he was at the bar already. A five minute walk from their workplace. Lance and Keith left at the same time, yet Keith ducked off to the bathroom in the food court while he went to the bar and...

Needless to say Lance was quickly starting to think that maybe Keith stood him up? Wouldn’t have been the first time this happened to him. Maybe Keith had suggested that he didn’t really want to go with him but he was too stupid to realize it? He was stupid after all...

He felt like he probably should leave and just grab some takeaway thai food from the sketchy looking place near the train station? Then he could drown his stupidity in the craft beer his brother got for him when he went to Germany a few months ago?

He checked his watch and started to grow concerned. Depending on why Keith needed to use the bathroom it could take roughly five to ten minutes. Plus the time to walk here then it would take about fifteen minutes to get there. It had almost been twenty minutes now. Keith had ditched him. This was fine. It was just another night of thai food and drinking alone.

He was about to get up from the bar when he heard the barstool next to him get pulled back and Keith sat next to him. He looked like he had combed his hair or something? It looked a little different.

“Sorry. I got a little turned around.”

“The bar is right down the street? A straight line?”

“I suck at directions.”

“Oh… So you want to grab a drink and sit at a table?”

Keith nodded and ordered them both a drink and they sat at an open table. They settled down and talked a bit about work, which was nice. Keith was complaining about Shiro and his terrible way of managing the books that they have. Lance nodded along, fascinated by the way they did things. He’d only really thought about the dewey decimal system that libraries use.

Then after a while they started to talk about family. Lance, having a large family was more than happy to talk about his family. The McClain’s had always been really well accomplished. Many had come to America from Cuba and were able to get a PHD or a doctorate. Even if they didn’t seek out higher education they would go and make something of themselves. Like run their own shop or start a business.

Keith was polite and let him finish talking until he dropped his little bombshell. “I’m an orphan.”

“O-oh, but isn’t Shiro your brother?” Lance was confused.

Keith shrugged. “Yeah, not by blood. His parents were looking after me in the last foster home I was in before I grew out of the system. He really helped me a lot. He’s the only person I’ve been close to.”

“Oh…” Lance sipped his drink and instantly felt like the idiot for talking about family. He didn’t want Keith to feel bad about not having a huge family like him. Keith probably hated him now. He was so damn fucking stupid.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Said Keith. “I was a little angry that I didn’t have parents growing up and was never actually adopted by anyone, but I’m okay with it. I have Shiro. I have Auntie and Uncle, Shiro’s parents. I have my own place, and I work with Shiro or at the garage. My lie is pretty good all things considered.”

“Oh, that’s nice… Where is your apartment?”

Keith shrugged. “Kind of close to the train station. So yeah… Kind of loud sometimes, but I’m used to it.”

“I guess if you live close to the station then you’re always able to get around huh?” Lance didn’t want to mention where he lived. His apartment was in one of the nicer parts of town. Fully paid off. By his parents. They honestly did that with all the kids. Just bought them a place very close to where they wanted to live and if they wanted to move then the kids would have to deal with it. He didn’t want to be labeled as stupid and rich too. 

Keith just shrugged. “Yeah. There is that bonus. What about you? Where do you live?”

“... Oh um… y-you know those new apartments that went up by the park like, a year or two ago?”

“Altea gardens?”

“Yeah…”

Keith’s eyes went wide. “Seriously? There? You live there?”

Lance sunk into his seat a little and nodded. “Yeah… My um… My parents helped me out with it…”

“That’s still pretty cool.” Said Keith. “Man, that place is really swanky and stuff… Which floor are you on? Can you see the park from there?”

“Yeah.” Said Lance quietly. “I’m like, on the fifteenth floor. The view is nice.” He felt like he was bragging. Which made him feel like an awful human being. Why couldn’t Keith have just ditched him so he could get himself some thai food and drink that damn beer?

***

Keith had no idea what the fuck he was doing. Yeah, he fucked the start of it up by taking a bit too long in the bathroom to make sure he looked a little nicer than he did through the day. He liked Lance quite a bit and wanted to make a good impression on him outside of work. But he didn’t seem to be doing that well.

Lance looked uncomfortable with him. It seemed like Lance was kind of rich and maybe learning that he himself wasn’t as well off as him was making him feel uncomfortable… He really didn’t think that Lance was that kind of person. He worked in a second hand store for crying out loud? He really didn’t want Lance to be an asshole.

“So… Watch anything interesting on TV lately?” Asked Keith.

Lance’s eyes suddenly lit up. “I watched a documentary about the great barrier reef in Australia. Like, it’s the largest living structure in the world, and it’s like made up of 3000 individual reefs and-” He suddenly snapped his mouth shut and went back to drinking. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear about dumb sea facts…” 

“No, no. Go on. I want to hear it.” Keith was honestly surprised Lance was talking about documentaries and not some reality TV show. He wanted to know what Lance was talking about.

Lance seemed a little nervous, but he started talking. “W-well the reef is home to about 30 species of whale, dolphin, and porpoise… 6 species of turtle, 17 species of sea snake, and more than 1500 species of fish. Which is about 10% of the world’s fish species inhabit the great barrier reef…”

“You like the ocean huh?” Keith couldn’t help but smile a little. Lance might not have been the brightest guy out there, but it was nice to know he really liked the ocean.

“Not really…” Said Lance quietly. “It was just stuff I remembered while I was scrolling through insta and all that…”

“Oh…”

“Yeah…”

“Um, so what do you do outside of work?”

“I go to clubs mostly.” Said Lance. “I don’t really do much. I have some plants I like to take care of. Mostly herbs and stuff. I like having fresh herbs around.”

“So you garden?”

“Not really.” Said Lance. “Hunk made me this little automatic watering thing for my herb garden doesn’t suddenly die because I forgot to water it… I just need to remember to refill the water tank… W-what about you? What do you do outside of work?”

“Threaten my landlord to fix the bubble in my ceiling.” Said Keith. That man was a fucking slumlord and Keith was one leaky pipe away from calling a building inspector to get the whole place shut down and condemned. “When I’m not doing that I’m working on my bike.”

“Bike?”

“Yeah, motorbike.”

Lance nodded and he immediately looked down at the table. “I didn’t really know much about bikes and stuff… I’ve never been good at that kind of thing… C-can you tell me about it?” He asked quietly.

Keith was a little shocked, but was happy to talk about motorbikes. Lance looked fully invested in what he was saying, even though he did look a little lost here and there. Lance was a pretty sweet kind of guy. He looked like he was trying really, really hard. It was something that Keith appreciated.

They talked for about another hour before Lance politely excused himself to head home. Keith was fine with that too. He needed to get back home soon too. The drive home was uneventful and Keith easily made it back to his apartment. He grabbed some leftover Chinese food and flopped down onto the couch to watch TV. Some add for the local aquarium was playing and Keith wondered if Lance would see it and want to go.

Maybe he would? Maybe he wouldn’t. But he seemed really interested in fish. Lance seemed to have a lot of different issues with showing his interests. It was kind of weird to him, but that was just Lance he guessed. He came from a large family so maybe no one really paid too much attention to him, or maybe he just didn’t like where he was in life because everyone else was in arguably better jobs than he was? The guy was still cute and sweet.

Yeah, Keith liked him enough to keep pursuing him. He couldn’t help it. Lance was his type. Easy on the eyes, good work ethic, passionate about something… Though he was a little dumb. At least he was nice. Shiro was missing out not wanting to give Lance a go. Too bad for him. Shiro’s loss was his gain.

Though he did have to wonder if Lance would even want to go out with someone like him. Lance was obviously rich. He lived in the rich part of town, and everyone in his family was very, very well off. So he probably wouldn’t be impressed with gifts or anything that he could buy for him. Maybe he could look through the books at the shop and see if he could find any books on fish he would like? That was a start.

***

Lance felt miserable by the time he got back to his apartment. He was so stupid. So dumb. Why did he say anything about fish? Keith was probably annoyed by that. He probably thought it was annoying that he talked about that. He wanted to throw himself off the balcony… And talking about where he lived? That was terrible. Keith probably felt like he was bragging.

He was so, so stupid. Why did he have to talk about where he lived? He was an asshole. Some rich asshole that didn’t have to work. Well, he did have to work. His parents would only bail him out if he fell on really hard times and couldn’t pay for essential bills, or came up a little short. But still, he knew how he came off.

Keith was probably going to avoid him now. Not that he could blame him. He wasn’t the kind of person that really attracted cool looking people like Keith. Yeah, he thought Keith was cool. His hair was a little odd and seemed to come straight out of the 80’s, but still. He kind of wanted to think that maybe someone cool like Keith liked him… Then again he probably didn’t think that Keith liked him since Shiro was his brother and Shiro didn’t like him enough to get a drink with him after work.

He was sad now. Maybe he should get a cat? He’d be less lonely when he came home if he had one… Maybe a puppy? Some kind of animal. He really liked animals. Animals were sweet. Kind. Didn’t make him feel like he was an idiot. Then again, was he smart enough to look after another living creature? Probably not. Lance sighed and curled up on the couch and looked to see if there was a part two to his great barrier reef documentary.


	233. Rumors (Highschool AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fallout from Lance getting knocked the fuck out. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was more than a little embarrassed to say the least. Keith just… He totally knew he was a masochist now, right? Why did he have to have some kind of freak out the second Keith tripped him up and made him knock himself out? He probably thought he was a freak. Yeah, Lance knew he was a freak, but this was ridiculous!

He let out an exasperated sigh as he laid face down on his bed. If Freddy Kruger decided to yank him through the mattress at this very moment, then he wouldn’t mind one bit. Just end his miserable life right now.

His mama knocked on the doorframe. “Lance? Are you okay? May I come in?”

“Si mama…” Lance sat up and looked at her. She was very clearly worried. Which was kind of nice.

His mama pulled over his desk chair and sat down. “How is your head?”

“A little sore, but I think I’ll live.”

“That’s good. It’s a good thing you didn’t get a concussion.” She said. After Coran had called her and she came to pick him up, the nurse had said he was pretty sure that Lance didn’t suffer a concussion, but he strongly advised her to take him to the doctors anyway, just in case he missed it. Thankfully the doctors didn’t think he had a concussion either and just advised some bed rest.

“Yeah. I’m glad I didn’t get a concussion either.”

“Si, now what happened?” She asked. “The nurse did say a model fell on you but…”

“I slipped and bumped the teacher’s desk.” Said Lance. “Then it fell on my head. That’s all. I’m just lucky Keith was there and took me to the sick bay.”

“I’m glad too… Why were you in there during lunch anyway?” She asked.

Lance shrugged. “I was going to ask the teacher to ask for some help with the last assignment. That’s all. He was in there doing assignment stuff…”

“Okay… Well, I’ll let the kids know not to disturb you when they come by after school. Just come down when you want something to eat, or call me if you need something. I’ll have my phone on me the whole time.”

“Thank you mama.”

His mama smiled gently at him and kissed his forehead. “I’ll shut the door on the way out. Okay?”

“Okay mama. Thank you.” When she was gone, Lance lied back down and sighed loudly. He felt like he really, really fucked up with Keith. He just made everything awkward… Though he was kind of hoping that this would mean Keith might hit him the next time he saw him… He really hoped so… But that might just make things more awkward...

***

When Keith got back to class after helping Lance, he just zoned out again, but during the last class of the day, he noticed some kids in the class whispering and pointing. At him. He was very, very confused. He didn’t know why they were pointing at him. Maybe it was something behind him? He didn’t know. Life was confusing.

Eventually the bell rang and Keith wandered off to his locker. He kind of noticed that people seemed to be giving him dirty looks? Which was even weirder? Keith was very, very confused. He had no idea what was going on.

Then, while he was getting his things from his locker, he heard someone say it; “I can’t believe the weird kid beat up Lance.”

Keith stared at the back of his locker with his hand on a physic’s book as he tried to process what was just said. Firstly; who beat up Lance? Secondly; who was the weird kid? Thirdly; when did someone have time to beat up Lance? He took him straight to Coran and left when his mum came in. When he thought for a little longer things suddenly clicked. Was he the weird kid? Did people think that he beat up Lance?

From the way people were looking at him and whispering when he walked by, yeah, everyone thought he beat up Lance. Perfect. Not only was he just finding out that he was labeled as the weird kid, but now he was a bully or something? Fucking perfect. He was fucking miserable.

When he got home, he tossed his bag into his room and sat on the couch. Was Lance popular at school or something? Keith had no fucking idea. Was everyone going to hate him now? But he hadn’t done anything. If he was the weird kid then no one was going to pay attention to him when he tried to clear it up. They probably wouldn’t even care.

Shiro walked out of the kitchen, trying to open a bag of chips with his mouth. “... Tough day at school?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah.”

“Want to talk about it?” Asked Shiro as he sat down.

“...” Keith helped Shiro open the bag for him. “So I was doing some science stuff for my assignment during lunch and this guy from my year walks in. They were looking for the teacher. We talked, they tripped, smacked themselves on the teacher’s desk, and then got knocked out by a model that fell off the teachers desk… And now everyone thinks I knocked him out.”

Shiro was surprised. “Did you explain that it was all an accident?”

“Wouldn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

Keith felt terrible. He looked at his brother and tried not to feel too ashamed. “Shiro… I’m the weird kid at school. No one would give a fuck about it. They would just think I was lying.”

“Oh Keith… I’m sorry… Is the other kid okay?”

“Yeah, he should be fine… I hope he’s okay…” Now Keith felt even worse than before. He thought Lance was okay. He seemed fine. What if he was really hurt? It would be all his fault. He grabbed Lance and made him trip in the first place… And he had to have had a concussion. Some kind of brain injury from all the shit he was saying when he woke up.

He needed to do something to make up for it, but he didn’t know what. Lance said they were cool, but he felt like he needed to do something else. He had no idea what Lance liked or even if he was going to be at school tomorrow. He’d think of something.

***

When Lance got to school the next day he was surprisingly getting more attention from people. They were just giving him sympathetic looks and a few people said hi to him. It was weird. He didn’t know what was going on here.

He eventually found Hunk and asked what was going on. Hunk was kind of confused. “You got beaten up by Keith.”

“... I did what now?” Lance was so confused. “No? I tripped and got knocked out by an anatomical model in the science room? Keith just happened to be there and took me to the office.”

Hunk was a little surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah… Why does everyone think Keith beat me up?”

“Someone saw Keith grabbing you out of the science room… Are you sure you’re okay?” Asked Hunk. “Pidge is kind of trying to make some kind of revenge robot…”

“Oh boy… Look, he didn’t hurt me.” Said Lance. “I might have asked him to, but he didn’t.”

“You asked him to?!”

Lance rolled his eyes. “It’s no secret that I’m a masochist and I like him… But he didn’t beat me up. I swear.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure.”

Pidge quickly ran over to them, looking very concerned. “Are you okay? What did he do to you?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Whoever started that rumor blew it way out of proportion. Keith did nothing to me. He just took me to see Coran after I knocked myself out.”

“... Really?”

“Yeah.”

“... Okay.” She didn’t seem too convinced.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Really. It’s fine. I didn’t get beaten up by Keith at all. Whoever started that rumor is an asshole. He did nothing.” 

Lance gathered his things and went to homeroom. He waited around for a bit as people walked in. He was relieved when he saw Keith walk in. He would have called out to him, but the teacher walked in right behind him.

Even after when they went to their first class, Lance didn’t get time to talk to him. Keith had a few classes over the other side of the school today. Yeah, Lance still had Keith’s schedule memorized. Keith didn’t even look at him. He did manage to catch his eye once in the hallway, but he looked away as soon as their eyes met. Lance was confused. But then again maybe Keith was more creeped out by what he said before he got knocked out? Maybe.

When lunch eventually came around, Lance and his friends were there at their usual table. Lance kept an eye out for Keith and saw him in the line getting his food. When he got his food, Keith started walking over towards his usual table.

“... Keith! Over here!” He waved over to Keith, which caught his attention. He kind of looked like a deer caught in the headlights, but he walked over to him.

“Yeah?” He muttered.

Lance gestured for Keith to sit with them. “You said you would.”

“I guess I did…” Keith reluctantly sat next to Pidge, who kept giving him dirty looks.

Everything kind of became awkward. Very, very awkward. Everyone was just quietly eating while trying not to look at Keith. Keith was just poking at the overly sauced potato bake while he awkwardly kept reaching into his bookbag. 

Eventually Pidge got tired of this. “So what’s in the bag? A knife?”

“No.” Said Keith. “... I don’t think I left my knife in there.” Everyone looked confused and kind of alarmed. Keith didn’t seem to notice their concern as he just sighed and reached into his bag. He ended up taking out a pack of snack cakes and just pushed them over to Lance. “Um… Sorry I tripped you over…” He said quietly. “I didn’t… Sorry…”

Lance looked at the snack cakes and smiled at him. “Dude, don’t worry about it. Linoleum is slippery. I know you didn’t do anything. Don’t worry about it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Thanks for the snack cakes though.”

For the first time since Lance had known Keith, the other male smiled. He actually smiled. It made Lance’s heart speed up in his chest and he almost wanted to blurt out something really, really stupid. But the sound Pidge taking his snack cakes broke him out of his fantasies.

“Hey?!”

“So you really didn’t beat Lance’s head in?” Asked Pidge.

“Of course not.” Said Keith. “Why would I beat him up? Mean, I know everyone thinks I’m the weird kid and all that but still… It’s not like I’d pick a fight with someone just for the sake of it…”

After that, Hunk and Pidge quickly seemed to warm up to Keith, which was nice. Though Lance was a little surprised with how nice Keith was. He seemed very polite and quiet. Not really the bad boy that he thought he was before. Maybe he just wasn’t sure how to act around new people? But it was still nice. He was actually having lunch with Keith, and to think that all he needed to do to get this done was knock himself out.


	234. Regroup (Hellpoint AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less death and more dealing with trauma through humor. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Pidge fell to the ground, shaking and hugging her body. Getting ripped apart sucked. She looked around to see Hunk had rematerialized and was holding his stomach. Shiro was there too. He was clutching at his chest. They had all died again. It pissed her off.

“FUCK!” She swore. Her searing caught the attention of Shiro and Hunk. They seemed to snap out of whatever they were going through and just looked at each other. Before Pidge could say anything, she was quickly scooped up in a hug by Shiro and Hunk. The hug was bone crushing.

It felt like forever before Shiro let them go. “Promise me that none of you will put yourself in that kind of situation again…” 

“One where we talk to the Architect?” Asked Pidge.

“One where you might get killed.” Said Shiro. “I… I know it’s hypocritical with us fighting a damn war and everything… But not this. Never this...”

“We still need to go that way…” Said Hunk quietly. They knew he was right. They couldn’t just stand around and do nothing. They had to keep going.

***

Things in the garden weren’t going very well for the others. They were still in the barn house and the atmosphere was really, really somber. Lance didn’t seem to be taking everything well, which was fair enough. He had died. Fucking died in a horrible and painful manner. Some of the spark that was in his eyes had vanished. It was kind of scary.

“We should get moving.” Said Allura quietly. “I found a checkpoint down there… We should hit it and keep moving.”

“At least this place is kind of safe.” Muttered Lance. “Nice place to come back to when you die.” He got up and walked down to the checkpoint. Allura and Keith shared a concerned look, but followed him and hit the checkpoint too.

“Alright…” Muttered Allura. “No more taking stupid risks. No more dying.”

“I’ll try my best.” Said Lance. “But I’m batting two for two at the moment.”

“You shouldn’t have taken that death for me.” Said Keith.

“Well I did. Can’t take it back.” Lance said in an almost sarcastic manner. “We should have just left this place when we heard it was going to get sucked into a blackhole.”

They left the barn and very slowly continued on. They tread lightly until they no longer felt the ground shifting under their feet. They all breathed a sigh of relief. At least nothing from the ground was going to suddenly spring out from under the ground and eat one of them again. They were in some kind of overgrown orchard now.

“This place is fucking insane…” Muttered Keith. “We seriously better get some answers when we meet Null. If we don’t… Fuck, I don’t know what I’ll do…”

“I want answers too.” Said Allura. “I have to know how they even got into space in the first place. It-” The heard a branch snapping. Everyone went quiet and quickly fell back into the treeline. 

After a few seconds a small humanoid jumped out of the trees and stumbled onto the bath. The skin of this creature was pale and skinny. So skinny that it looked like skin was just pulled over its bones The only clothes it seemed to be wearing was a tattered loincloth and breast plate. Both almost seemed to be bolted in place with actual screws. The points at which they were fixed to seemed to be bloody and infected. Around their head was some kind of bag that was stapled to their skull.

This thing swayed a little as it walked and almost seemed to whimper in pain. No one really knew what that thing was, but they could assume it was going to kill them. It continued to look around, sway and made terrible wheezing sounds. It looked like every movement was causing it pain.

Lance raised his bayard and took a quick shot. He fired down the path towards where those worms were. The sound made the creature quickly seemed to run towards the noise. Hopefully the worms would eat them.

“What the fuck was that?” Asked Lance quietly.

“Looks like an eremite.” Muttered Allura. “I remember them because it was said to be a punishment… In the old days an eremite was a religious outcast that would inflict wounds on themselves as punishment until they were allowed back into the religion. They usually wore rags and bound their arms and legs with metal or rope… That just looked like a more extreme version of an eremite…”

“Fun.” Muttered Lance. “More freaks.”

Keith shrugged. “At this point I really don’t give a fuck. This place is really messed up.”

Allura nodded in agreement. “Yes… Hopefully there aren’t any more eremites around… That one seemed kind of… Unhinged.”

“Pretty sure everything here is unhinged.” Said Keith.

“Yeah… Keep your eyes out for more of them.” She said quietly.

The other two nodded and continued to walk. Whenever they heard something even a little suspicious the group hid in the treelines. They saw a few more of those eremites and alpha angel things. Thankfully they managed to make it out of the gardens and to the wall. It seemed to be some kind of energy barrier.

“I guess this is the wall.” Muttered Allura. “The others should be here soon…”

“Unless they are getting killed over and over again.” Said Lance. “Could happen.”

On the other side of the force field they saw Pidge and the others walking out from between some buildings. It was a relief to see them again. “Good to see you all again.” Said Allura. 

Pidge smiled a little and started to hack into one of the posts that was generating the force field. “Hey. We’re pretty good. How were the gardens?”

“Lance was eaten alive by a giant worm.” She said. “And we happened to see an enemite. You?”

“We all died.” She said. “Slaughtered by the engineers.”

“Yeah.” Muttered Hunk. “It’s… It was really messed up. We got surrounded by the engineers and they…” He put his hand on his stomach. “Okay, screw it, I’ll say it. It’s fucked. You heard me, fucked. This whole situation is fucked.”

Shiro put his hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay Hunk… We talked to the Architect. They know Null and called her Cloth or something like that? Anyway, they are… Well they are clearly insane. They wanted us to join them in the temple… Which was unnerving in itself, but the scariest thing was that they seemed to be able to control the engineers. They stopped them and made them attack us… We should probably stay out of the maintenance tunnels if we can help it from now on. There are far too many of them down there…”

There was a slight buzz and a gap in the wall opened up. It allowed the three of them to slip through to the other side and join the rest in the technology part of the station. Everything was kind of awkward as everyone stood around and talked about what they had found out so far. Pidge mentioned the vat.

“It looked like they were filtering quintessence out of living things.” She said. “Or the bodies of living things… I had some time to think about it some more and from what I gathered, they were gathering quintessence… I have no idea why. Would you know why they would?”

Allura thought for a moment. “Quintessence is… It’s considered the life force of the universe. Before it was considered a tangible, scientific thing it was considered something like a… I believe you have mentioned the concept of a soul? That’s kind of what quintessence was in the old religion. It was believed that the gods need quintessence as penance but I… I have no idea why they would need so much of it. What would be the purpose? It’s so unstable without refinement.”

Pidge shrugged. “We’ll probably find out soon enough I guess?”

“We should keep going.” Said Shiro. “We aren’t too far away from where Null is, right?”

Pidge looked at her map and nodded. “Yeah, just down there and take left and then take a right. Something like that.”

The group nodded and started to make their way through the cold, metal section of the station. It was kind of eerie, but they had to keep going. They had come too far to back out now. Maybe they should have left, but they were here. As stupid as this decission was.

As they walked, Hunk trailed back so he could talk with Lance. “H-hey buddy… Are you okay? Did you really get eaten alive?”

“It was like getting thrown into a meat grinder.” Muttered Lance. “You?”

“I got gutted…” Said Hunk quietly. “I mean I… Fuck it was crazy. I… I never want to go through that again…”

“Same… But you know, this place kind of fucks with your head. Like, it really, really fucks with your head.”

“... You’re not doing very well at the moment, are you?” Asked Hunk.

Lance shrugged. “Nope. Let’s face it, we’re going to have some major PTSD after this. Like, you think we would be more fucked up because of all the war and shit happening.”

“Yeah…” Hunk’s foot knocked against something on the ground. They paused as Hunk bent down and picked up a small black cube. It looked to be made of some kind of black rock. Maybe obsidian? It had a bunch of symbols engraved into it. It was dusty. Must have been on the ground for a long time.

“What do you think it is?” Asked Lance.

Hunk shrugged. “Not a clue… Maybe a religious thing? Like, it wouldn’t be too hard to think that after what apparently happened here.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s a fair bet.” Muttered Lance. He looked at the box for a bit. “You should probably keep it. Might be useful.”

“You think so?”

He shrugged. “Might be. Just got a feeling about it.”

“Your intuition is usually correct about these kind of things.”

That comment made Lance smile a little. “You really think so?”

“Yeah man. You like… How to put it…” Hunk thought for a moment as he put the cube away. “You know how animals can just tell if people are good or bad, right? You’re kind of like that, but you know, can actually talk to us about things.”

Lance snorted a little. “Yeah? Okay. Can I be a labrador?”

“Sure thing buddy.”

“Heck yeah.”


	235. Plans (Monsters and Manna AU XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter today. But still fun. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“Okay! Here is my shortlist!” Said Lance as he clapped his hands. He pulled up his datapad and started to read off names; “Guppy, Shrimp, Snapper, Squid, Salmon.”

Hunk looked up from the Yellow lion’s paw and raised an eyebrow. “Are these things you want me to try and make?”

“What? No. Names for Pike’s potential children.”

“Oh, have you been talking with Keith about your characters having kids?” He asked. “I’m pretty sure that there is a pregnancy spell you guys could use… Might need to find a fertility temple to find your best options. I haven’t explored that part of the game much myself, but you never know. Maybe you could adopt a goblin or something?”

Lance grinned. “Aw, that would be so cute! I’d love to have a baby goblin child. They would definitely be called Snapper… or Biter.”

Hunk chuckled. “Just talk to Keith about it. Your characters are still pretty early on in your fictional relationship, right?”

“Hmm, true… Well, if you need me I’ll be in at the training deck.” Lance happily turned and walked out. It was very, very important to talk to Keith about their characters potentially having a kid together, either through magical means or through acquiring a goblin. Goblins were pretty adoptable in Monsters and Manna.

***

Rolkia and Thundar seemed to have bonded really, really well. They looked happy together and that was good. Really good. Everyone was happy that Thundar was able to bond with his mother. He seemed a little more relaxed and the rest of the dark elves within the family seemed very pleased by this development.

“Do you think Thundar will leave the group?” Asked Valayun one evening while the party was relaxing in the sitting room of the Makraborks home.They were discussing the best way to get out of the underdark and back to Block’s village.

“He might.” Said Meklavar. “I mean, he did just find his family after all.”

Pike frowned. “But we’re a couple… He’s technically known me longer than her…”

“He should at least have a choice.” Said Shiro. “If Thundar wants to stay with the Makraborks then we should be supportive in his decision.”

“But he’s part of the team!” Said Pike. “He belongs with us! You’ll back me up on this, right Block?”

The Cleric looked up from the underdark map he was studying. “Huh? Well, I mean… If Thundar wants to stay then he should be allowed to…”

“I can’t believe you all!” Cried Pike. “I’m here, dating Thundar, and you all want him to leave?”

“We don’t want him to leave.” Said Valayun. “We just want to give him a choice. Choice is important for a team… If Thundar stays, will you stay with him?” Pike frowned a little. He didn’t want to stay and leave the group, but he didn’t want to leave Thundar either. He would need to talk with Thundar about this when he next saw him.

***

“Are you really going to leave the party?” Asked Pidge.

Keith shook his head. “No. Thunder still likes the group and doesn’t want to leave them. He’s also head over heels for Pike.”

“Aw babe. I love y-”

“However!” Said Keith quickly. “He’s confused and needs a little bit of direction to stay with the group or he will stay with the Makraborks.”

Coran grinned. “Ah! I have the perfect idea.” He cracked his knuckles. “Is everyone okay with it if I skip over to Thundar and Rolkia?” No one had any objections, so Coran happily continued on with the game.

***

Rolkia had taken Thundar up to one of the spiraling towers to talk. It could have been an observatory if it was on the surface. But being the underdark, it was just showing off the cityscape and beyond. It was kind of beautiful.

“So, what do you think of our home, Thundar?” Asked Rolkia.

“Our home?”

“You are a Makraborks after all.” She said. “You are always welcome here and… We are all happy that you are here. We want you to stay and learn our ways. We all already love and accept you.”

“I get that but… I’ve never known you.” Said Thundar. “I’ve wanted to know who you were my whole life and now… I don’t know… I’ve known my group for much longer and…”

“You are dating that Womblax? Pike?”

“Yeah… Do you not approve?”

Rolkia shrugged. “I have no strong feelings one way or another. Thundar, you are an adult and your choice of partner is not any of my business. I adore you and will respect your choices. However, if that man does hurt you, do not hesitate to return. You are always a part of our family.

“Indeed.” Agreed Vankol as he walked over to them. “Thundar, you are an odd half-elf, and your companions are interesting to say the least, I, as the head of the family, will always allow you to join us… And if you choose to stay and your companion does too, we will treat him as anyone whom has married into the family.”

“And how is that?” Asked Thundar a little skeptically and with mild suspicion.

“With respect and dignity, though certain traditions we keep within the bloodline, as do most families.” Clarified the older male. “We don’t have many traditions like that, but there are a few.”

Thundar nodded a little and looked back out over the city. It was pretty. “I… I like it here but I…”

“You want to keep going with your party?” He questioned. Thundar nodded. “Then that is your decision to make. We pride ourselves on expanding our knowledge. If you wish to leave we only ask for you to return with more knowledge and wisdom than you left with.”

Thundar smiled a little. “Yeah? You’re okay with that?”

“Of course. You’re always a Makraborks.” Vankol smiled and patted his back. “Now, go and speak with your friends. They are planning to leave soon and it would be best to let them know that you are joining them.”

Thundar quickly hugged the both of them before he headed down to where his friends were. He caught the tail end of Pike whining about Thundar leaving the party. He rolled his eyes and wandered in. “I’m not leaving the party you dumb housecat.”

“Housecat?!” Cried Pike in shock.

Meklavar chuckled and grinned. “Really? You’re going to keep traveling with us?”

Thundar nodded. “Yeah. I joined you guys halfway through your quest and I want to see it through to the end. When it’s over I’ll come back here, but I’m not going to bow out just yet.”

***

“That’s so sweet.” Said Hunk, almost tearing up. “Glad you’re still with the party.”

Coran grinned. “Glad that all worked out. I was a little worried that you might end up leaving the party… You are a very good ranger and I’d hate to see you leave… Especially Pike. Pike would hate it if Thundar left.”

“Pike would have stayed with Thundar.” Said Lance. “Heck, Pike is gonna end up going back to the underdark with Thundar when this adventure is all over.”

Allura cleared her throat. “So we are in agreement? We are done in the underdark and are going to leave for Block’s village?”

“That would be right.” Said Shiro. “Once we get out of the Underdark we’re heading to Block’s village and using the Emerald to release them from the petrification curse. We’re then going to escort Meklaver to her home to drop off her emerald, tying up those plot lines.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Said Coran happily. “Oh, I’m so excited. We’re so close to finishing these long storylines off. I’ve been planning this for what feels like phoebs now.”


	236. Healing waters (AtLA AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance does the thing! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

When Adam and Keith got back the sun was starting to dip in the sky. Keith seemed pretty tired as he slid off of Atlus’ back. Adam on the other hand happily jumped off the flying bison’s back and went about making dinner. Now was the perfect time for Lance to talk to Keith.

“Hey Keith… How’s it going?”

Keith shrugged. “Things are fine. I’m kind of hungry. Why?”

“Well, I thought I could help you out a little using a waterbending healing technique.” Said Lance happily.

“... I’m going to eat dinner.”

Lance pouted and followed the firebender. “Come on Keith, it’ll be fun. It works wonders for us back in the water tribe. It’s pretty good, and I’m the only waterbender around here so… I am kind of the expert here. It’s really relaxing. Totally puts your body and mind at ease.”

Keith frowned a little, but reluctantly agreed. “Yeah sure. Fine. Whatever. Just let me eat first.”

Lance put his hands up and backed away. It was best to let the grumpy firebender eat before he tried anything. Dinner was rice with some kind of vegetable soup… Though Adam did buy a bunch of jerky from Hunk and was using a rather large piece of jerky to scoop the rice into his mouth.

“What?” He asked through a mouthful of rice. “I fucking crave meat. I can’t get shit up here. Let me have this damn it.”

Shiro sighed a little and shook his head. “You really should-”

“I’m being vegetarian by proxy!” Snapped Adam. “Whatever this thing is, ate grass and stuff. Get off my dick.”

Shiro let Adam do what he pleased and continued his vegetarian meal, while the others took after Adam and ate their jerky, rice, and soup. It was pretty good. The jerky really made it. Shiro didn’t know what he was missing out on.

Once they had finished eating, Lance walked outside with Keith begrudgingly following them. Lance walked to the pond and started to get undressed, down to his undergarments. “Okay, so for this you need to strip down and get in the water.”

“Really?” Asked Keith skeptically.

“Well, we can do it on land, but it’s much more powerful and works better if we’re both in the water.”

Keith frowned but sighed and did as he was told. Once he was down to his underwear, Lance took him by his hand and took him down into the water. Once there Lance instructed Keith to float on his back and try to relax.

“This is weird…” Muttered Keith.

Lance shrugged as he stood next to him. “I guess, but the stars are pretty, right?”

“Yeah, I guess they are.”

“Yeah… Okay, now you might want to close your eyes for this.”

Keith rolled his eyes, but still closed his eyes anyway. Once he looked relatively relaxed, Lance put his hands over Keith’s body. The water around them slowly started to glow an aqua blue. Lance could feel the water flowing around and through Keith. With a slight wave of his hand he could change the flow and direction of those internal waters.

With a healthy body the flow would be smooth and easy to change. Injured places in the body were difficult and changed the flow. Those places need lots more attention. Small cramps, cuts, and burns were relatively easy to heal. Fractures and internal bleeding were a lot more difficult.

But for Lance’s purposes he just wanted to pretend to heal Keith to make him feel a little better. He remembered when he was a child his own mama would do this to him and his siblings sometimes to make them feel a little better. It was kind of comforting when he was little.

As he felt the small knots in Keith’s body slowly work themselves out, he was just surprised to feel so many different knots and blockages in his body. Keith must have been tense all the time to feel like this. The firebender really needed a massage every now and then to get rid of all that unneeded tension.

“Almost done?” Muttered Keith.

“Hush you.” Said Lance. “I need to find the worst spots to heal you. You have a few knots here and there that I want to work out. Just let me and the moon take care of you.”

Keith huffed a little but stayed quiet. Which was good with Lance. He moved his hands over Keith’s neck and head. There was a lot of tension around his head and neck. Lance hummed a little and continued to work his waterbender magic. After what seemed like forever, Lance was pretty sure he had worked out all the kinks and knots in Keith’s body. Now it was time to spew a little mumbo jumbo.

“There.” Said Lance as he helped Keith up. The water had stopped glowing now that the healing was over. “Now, most of what I did was concentrated on your head and neck, but I did make sure to heal any minor injuries you might have had.”

Keith nodded a little and rubbed his neck. He seemed a little surprised by how his body felt. “Wow, um… Thanks Lance. That actually feels pretty good…”

Lance grinned. “Of course it does. Allura taught me some of the best healing techniques. Like, sure my mama and my sisters taught me the basics… Well, Veronica isn’t a waterbender, but she knew the theory.”

“Okay.” Keith got out of the water and gathered his clothes. He didn’t say anything as he walked back to Adam’s carved out home to dry off. A bison snorted at him as he walked by.

Lance pouted a little at this. He didn’t know why Keith was acting so weird. Keith should have felt nice and all relaxed. He had pretty much done a water healing massage. Keith didn’t look like he was in pain at all. He groaned in annoyance and flopped back into the water, floating and looking up at the moon.

“... Should have done this all during a full moon.”

***

Keith got back into the hut and sat near the stove to dry himself off. Adam was boiling some water to make some tea. He was also trying to get Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro to try some of his homebrewed alcohol.

“I have no idea if this will kill you, but it should be interesting.” He claimed.

Shiro sighed and grabbed a cup. “Just mess me up.”

Adam grinned and happily poured Shiro a cup. “You want one too there Keith?”

Keith shrugged. “Nah, I’m okay.”

“How was the water healing thing?” Asked Pidge. “The water was glowing pretty brightly.”

“Really?”

Hunk nodded. “Yeah. The whole place was glowing. Lots of the bison were giving it a look and either watching or just wandered away. Kind of funny. Didn’t you notice?”

“No? Lance told me I needed to keep my eyes closed for it to work.”

She shrugged. “Whatever. Do you feel any better?”

“A little…” He rubbed his neck, still surprised at how light his body felt now. “Kind of weird though…”

Hunk smiled a little at him and offered him some jerky. “Hey, I know it was probably a little weird, but Lance really means well. He likes helping people. He doesn’t usually do water healing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Well he does sometimes, but it’s more of a healing an arm or leg thing. Not a body. You got special treatment.” He said.

“... I did?” Asked Keith as he ate some jerky.

Hunk nodded. “Yeah. But anyway, you feel better, right? Like, your whole body does?”

“Yeah, I do.” Said Keith. “I guess I… Why is Lance traveling around anyway? Isn’t he super important to the Northern Watertribe?”

Hunk nodded. “Yeah. I don’t really know all the details, but Lance said he wanted to go on an adventure. I’m not really sure what that meant, but he seemed pretty desperate to leave… I think he might be trying to put off some political responsibility… Not too sure though. I try not to get into that stuff too much.”

“Right…” Keith had to wonder what was going on in Lance’s head. He didn’t know, but he kind of wanted to know. “So he’s just traveling around before he has to get back to work?”

“Maybe.” Said Hunk. “I think he also wants to visit his brother and sister down in the Southern Watertribe. His older sister, Veronica and older brother Marco live down there. He has a pretty big family.”

Eventually Lance wandered back in with a smile on his face. “Hey guys. What’s up?”

Pidge pointed to the jug of liquid that Adam was pouring into a cup for Shiro. “Adam’s getting Shiro plastered. You want in on it or do you want to stay sober like the rest of us?”

“... I’ll take a little.” Said Lance.

Adam grinned and gave Lance a small cup of his homebrewed alcohol. “Cheers. Drink up.”

Lance took a small sip and started coughing. “Holy crow! What is this?!”

“Alcohol.” Said Adam.

“Yeah, but what kind of alcohol?”

“... Just drink it and don’t ask questions.”

“Now I feel like I should ask more questions!” Lance had a very worried look on his face. 

Keith couldn’t blame him. He looked over at Shiro and the man was already starting to sway. It looked like whatever thing it was made from was already getting to him. Last time he saw Shiro really trashed he had launched himself into the nearest tree. That was an interesting time. Shiro didn’t get drunk that easily, so Adam must have brewed some strong stuff.

Adam frowned at Lance and poured more alcohol into his cup. “Just drink it and shut up. If you don’t have a hangover when you wake up tomorrow consider yourself lucky. Hell, if you do that I’ll give you a bison. Just lasso one up and give you the other end of the rope.”

“...” Lance looked at his cup, back at Adam, back at his cup, and then downed the drink in a few gulps. He couldn’t stop coughing and gagging. Hunk, Pidge, and Keith just shook their heads. Lance was an idiot and was going to feel it in the morning.


	237. Ghost stories (Modern fantasy AU XXXI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short story about dumb asses trying to be spooky and stuff. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

In a world where diet and exercise were practically mandatory, it was good to relax and let things go for a day. Lance had suggested to Keith that they go to a carnival. It was an evening carnival full of games, stalls and performances. Even a fireworks show later that night.

Krolia declined because she wanted to go for a night run, but Keith was happy to go. So the two of them left and ended up running into Pidge, Lotor and Plaxum. They had all met up earlier on that evening and decided to stick together. Keith was happy to talk to catch up with everyone, but Lotor. He still didn’t get along with Lotor. Lotor didn’t give a fuck.

The group ended up walking around and played some carnival games and watched some shows. None of them had ever seen monster trucks before. They weren’t crushing anything, but they were all done up and looked pretty fancy. The rides were pretty fun too. Pidge and Plaxum loved the rollercoasters.

The group also found a good spot on a hill to watch the fireworks display. It was really beautiful and everyone was mesmerized by this display. But eventually, it was over.

“Man, that was cool.” Said Plaxum. “Glad I met you guys here.”

Lotor nodded in agreement. “It reminds me a little of the lunar equinox festivities back in our world.” Everyone nodded in agreement.

“The what?”

“It’s a night time festival.” Said Lotor. “It’s where we celebrate the longest night of the year. It is very fun.”

Lance nodded. “Huh, alright.”

Plaxum grinned. “Yeah. But I guess it’s time to leave now?”

Lance agreed. “Yeah. Well it was nice seeing you guys.” He started to leave with Keith, but he noticed that the others were following them. “Um… You guys need something?”

Lotor shrugged. “Well, since this is like the festivals back home, we might as well indulge in a game most often played on that night.”

“Yeah!” Said Plaxum. “It’s a little hard to translate, but it’s basically called; The shivering in fear, cold sweat, ghost story!”

“... I have several questions…”

***

The group ended up going back to Lance’s place and set up for this weird other world game. They sat around in a circle in the dark with only candles lit. Plaxum seemed really happy about the whole thing and was more than happy to explain what was happening.

“Okay, so this is how it works, we light a hundred candles, sit around, tell scary stories, and blow the candle out once we are done with a story. Once all the candles are out, a ghost will appear.”

“... You want to summon a ghost?” Questioned Lance. They didn’t even have a hundred candles.

“It’s harmless fun.” Said Lotor. “But it is said that the more candles there are the more scary the ghost experience will be once all the candles are out… So, who is going to go first?”

“... I-I’ll go first…” Said Keith.

Lance wondered what kind of scary story Keith was going to say. Probably something from the other world. He had probably seen so many horrors there that Lance himself couldn’t comprehend. He was getting shivers already.

Keith cleared his throat. “So this was when I just came to this world… At dusk, just as I always do, I bought some fries as a snack and I was walking down my favourite path in the park… Ever since I left the store, there was a strange old man following me. He was right on my heels, and also scarfing down some fries… Then he said in a raspy voice _How do they make these fries so tasty?_ I was left bewildered by the sudden question and I answered that the potatoes must be high quality… But he just laughed and said; _Oh? I bet it’s the beef tallow in the cooking oil._ ”

Everyone went quiet, but Lance just looked at him in confusion. He didn’t understand what the big deal was. Lots of places deep fried their food in animal fat. It gave it a better flavour. Keith just looked like he had said the most terrifying story.

“These french fries were made from cows… I knew that the potatoes were made with tender love and care from mother nature’s bosom, but cows… As an elf, how should I feel about this? And that’s what happened.” Keith blew out his candle.

“That was it?” Asked Pidge.

Keith pouted. “Hey, Elves don’t eat meat unless we really have to. I’ve only started eating fish and other white meat because Lance has recommended it. Elves are mostly vegetarian, but we don’t eat red meat. Eating something made from cows is a horror story!”

“I thought it was spooky.” Said Plaxum.

Lotor cleared his throat. “Well, my turn next… This was when I first started working. It was only my second payday… Back then the convenience store was really struggling. To cut costs the wonder kept firing people until I was the only one left. I didn’t know my physical limits, and I did overtime after overtime… But it was finally payday, and all that hard work was about to pay off. I was ecstatic when I saw that payslip, until I checked the overtime pay column… It read $0…”

Lance was shocked by the owner’s scummy practices. “Did you talk to him about it?”

“But of course.” Said Lotor. “He paid me back when I talked to him right away… After I used black magic to fuck with his brain.” Lotor blew out his candle. The dark elf was not one to be messed with.

“My turn!” Said Pidge. “So one day I was out patrolling my territory and I came across a lost child. I helped them find their way back home and the child’s mother was very happy and so was the child. Lots of hugging and crying happened. I thought for sure that they might reward me for such a good deed. Something small. Didn’t have to be big… Then they slammed the front door in my face and pretended I wasn’t there…” She blew out her candle.

“... Um, sorry about that.” Said Lance as he patted her back. Pidge did do a good deed after all.

Plaxum cleared her throat and smirked. “Alright, this story that I’m going to tell you really happened to me… I like to fish for fun, but I wanted to try night fishing. Sometimes the regulars come around this late, but this night I was all alone… I was stuck outside for a while and no fish were biting. I was going to pack everything and go home, but then I got a bite… For a brief moment I was excited, but it looked like a clump of seaweed when I reeled it in… But it looked odd. I reached to take it off the hook, but that’s when I realized that it wasn’t seaweed…”

She paused for dramatic effect as everyone else leaned in. All captivated by her story.

“It was a severed head with two faces.” She said. “It moaned and spluttered up seawater from its sockets and mouths before it wriggled off the hook and swam off into the depths of the bay… The end.”

“... Okay, that’s the scariest story.” Said Pidge. “By a long shot.”

Lance shrugged. “I think Lotor’s one was pretty spooky too.”

“I ate a cow product…” Muttered Keith.

“Did you make yourself vomit after?” Asked Pidge.

“...”

“You ate the rest of the fries and then got more, didn’t you?”

“Shut up…”

Lotor chuckled, and Keith ended up punching his arm. The two elves looked like they were about to fight. Again. Lance was kind of tired of them always fighting

Plaxum nudged Lance’s arm. “You want to tell a story?”

“Um, not really. Never been good at telling scary stories.”

“Ah, fair enough.” Plaxum blew out the candles, plunging the whole room into darkness. “... Nothing happened?”

Lotor sighed. “Well, this stuff never happens you know? We only told four stories after all. Nowhere near the hundred mark.”

“Very true.” Said Keith.

“I’m going to turn the lights on now…” Lance got up and walked over to the light switch and turned it on. He was face to face with Krolia. He let out an undignified screech at her sudden appearance and almost fell over.

Krolia happened to catch him and kept him upright. “Hello everyone. Telling scary stories?”

Plaxum nodded. “Yeah. Trying to summon a ghost. Didn’t work.”

“Ghosts are fickle.” She said. “Well, you should all head home. It’s getting late… Don’t want a spirit following you on the way home.”


	238. Claws (X-men AU XXI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some nice moments with Keith and Lance, and some stuff with a less screaming Curtis XD

After watching Keith fix up his bike for several hours, Keith finally finished with his bike. He hadn’t really said much, but Lance was okay with that. He got a rag out of his pants pocket and tried to wipe some of the oil and grease off of his hands. He looked annoyed with himself because the grease just seemed to stick to his fur.

“You okay there?” Asked Lance.

Keith shrugged. “Yeah… These things happen. You see the sink over there? Can you grab the bucket next to it and fill it with warm water and dish soap. It’s on the shelf.”

Lance nodded and did as he was told. He looked at the dish soap and was happy to see that it was strawberry and watermelon scented. He squirted a lot of it in there. “Um, is this enough?”

“If it isn’t I’ll add more.” Keith walked over, nodded in approval, and shoved his hands in. He ran his claws through his fur and around his paw pads. He looked like he was working very meticulously to try and scrub most of the grime off of his hands. Though Lance did cringe when he grabbed the steel wool and started to rub the back of his hands and scrub his claws.

“Are you sure you should be doing that?” Asked Lance.

“It’s the best way to do it.” Said Keith.

“Doesn’t that hurt? It can’t be any good for your claws…”

Keith shrugged. “I don’t care. My skin is thick enough that it doesn’t really hurt my skin that much. My claws are tough too so-”

“It might still mess up your claws…” He thought for a moment. “Hey, how about we do another spa night? I still have some of that hair conditioner that you used as a face mask last time? I could also do something about your claws…”

“... If you really want to-”

“-I do! I really do!” Lance was actually excited about this.

“... Yeah sure. But I’m having a bath first.”

Lance grinned. “Awesome. I’ll get everything ready.” He happily headed back to the house with Keith trailing behind him. Once they got inside, Keith grabbed his bathroom stuff, and with Keith’s permission, Lance set everything up in Keith’s room.

After about an hour, Shiro came to look for them. “Hey Lance. What are you up to?”

“I’m setting some stuff up for a spa night with Keith.” Said Lance. “Kind of wanted to do it after getting yelled at by a kind of unhinged guy.”

“His name is Curtis and he’s a mutant.” Said Shiro. “His mutation has to do with hearing, so he’s going to be in a soundproof room until we can sort something out for him.”

“Okay… Thanks for saving me by the way. I was pretty worried he might attack me…”

Shiro smiled kindly at him. “Think nothing of it. By the way, Adam’s making chicken sandwiches for dinner. Want me to bring it up or something?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Cool. Want tomato on yours?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll be up in about twenty.” Said Shiro as he left the room. True to his word, Shiro was back in about twenty minutes with two really large sandwiches. One with tomato and one without. “Just bring your plates back to the kitchen when you’re done. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool, we’ll if you need me, Adam, or Coran, we’ll probably be watching TV until about ten. Then we’re probably going to bed.”

“Okay. Night Shiro.”

“Night Lance.”

With Shiro gone and Lance having set up all the things for Keith, but said mutant not being there, Lance sat down and happily ate his dinner. The sandwich was nice. Adam was a pretty good cook. Then again, he thought it was pretty hard to mess up a chicken sandwich.

After maybe an hour, Keith reappeared. His fur looked slightly damp and a little fluffy. At least he was grease free now. Lance grinned and happily showed Keith all the things he had laid out while Keith ate his dinner. He seemed a little sceptical about using any of the manicure stuff, but reluctantly agreed.

Lance was very happy to smear fancy hair conditioner all over Keith’s face and started to fix up Keith’s claws on at least one hand while Keith ate his food with the other. Lance happily filed and sanded away at them until he dulled the points down so they were less sharp.

“So… Your hands are really tense.” Noted Lance. “Want a hand massage?”

“Whatever.”

Lance shrugged and massaged Keith’s hand until he noticed that his claws started to slowly recede until they were just small nubs that weren’t even that long. It made him grin. “Man, you have so much tension in your hands that your claws aren’t even going back in all the way.”

Keith looked down at his hand and shrugged. “I guess? The past few days have been pretty stressful for me…”

“Yeah… Sorry about that.” Muttered Lance as he continued to massage his hand. “So… I was kind of wondering…”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. But I was kind of wondering… And you can tell me to shut up if you don’t want to answer, but if you could… would you want to meet your family?”

“Like my mum and dad?” Asked Keith.

“Yeah.”

Keith thought for a moment. “Um… Sometimes. Not all the time… I mean, I wouldn’t mind knowing who they are and asking the exact reason why they abandoned me… But yeah you know…”

Lance nodded a little as he thought more about Tex. Maybe they could meet up or talk for a bit? Maybe? It all depended if Tex wanted to see him first. He took Keith’s other hand and continued his manicure.

***

Once Adam had finished dinner, he went to change shifts with Coran. The other male seemed very chipper to see him. He happily explained to him that Curtis did wake up about two hours ago. He was a little scared at first, but Coran was able to calm him and get him to relax a little. He was going to get some books for Curtis, and had let the young man use the shower.

“The young lad looks good in blue.” Said Coran. “Nice choice of clothes.”

Coran happily left Adam to his own devices. Adam knocked on his door and went in to give him dinner. It was just a sandwich, a cookie, and a bottle of apple juice. He put them on the table. “So, are you doing okay?”

After a good wash and a change of clothes, Curtis looked relatively normal. He was a little underfed, but after some good meals they could probably get Curtis up to a healthy weight again. He seemed to have calmed down a lot and was just sitting on his bed, waiting for some kind of interaction.

“Yeah.” Said Curtis. “Everything’s a lot quieter now. It’s so good…” He picked up the sandwich and started to eat it. “So… Have any idea what’s wrong with me? Is it a mutation? Mental? What?”

“Didn’t Coran tell you?”

“Well, according to him, Allura said I have hyper sensitive hearing and I hear every animal on the planet or something.” He said. “But I was too overwhelmed by not hearing anything. It was pretty messed up… You have any idea how single minded insects are? All they want is food, or to fuck… Hive minded insects also want to feed the queen and protect the hive or nest or whatever. Yeah… So, I don’t exactly know where I am. Not a government place yeah?”

Adam chuckled. “No. This is a school for mutants. We take in all children from kindergarten to college age. So mostly young adults, but if any mutant comes here for help we are more than happy to help.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I came here after I finished school.” Said Adam. “I was looking for a mutant friendly school and Allura found me. She offered me a job here and I took it. Shiro was also offered a job, but as a mentor.”

“Shiro?”

“Yes. My boyfriend.” Said Adam with a small smile. “Allura basically helped him become the face for mutants in the media. He has a place in government and everything. Anyway, the mutants that are good with technology are home for the holidays so we won’t be able to do much for you right now. We can get your ears fixed soon.”

“So I can leave this room?”

“Well you technically can leave the room now, but this room is soundproof and you might feel better staying in here.”

“Yeah, probably…”

“You’re not a prisoner though, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He said quickly. He then pointed to a phone next to the door. “If you need something you can call someone and they will bring something to you if you need it. We’re going to try and come down every few hours or so.”

“Yeah, Coran explained that much.”

“That’s good.” Said Adam. “So, would you like some things to entertain yourself while we wait for Allura to get back? Some puzzles? Sculpting stuff?”

“Can I have some painting supplies?”

“Sure. You want water or acrylic paint?”

“What? No oil?” Asked Curtis in a playful manner.

Adam chuckled. “Hey, private school or not the arts is dreadfully underfunded.”

“Bummer. Never finished school.”

“Really?”

Curtis shrugged. “Hearing voices made me a little unhinged and unable to finish middle school. I was on some heavy antipsychotics for a long time because my doctors thought it was schizophrenia. Not unreasonable but… Well I was pretty much a zombie.”

Adam nodded in understanding. He was already formulating a plan to get Curtis what he needed to finish his highschool education. “That’s okay. A lot of students here have been left behind by the system for one reason or another. If you like, we can help you graduate highschool and even get into a good university if you wish.”

Curtis looked shocked. “Really?”

“Of course.” Said Adam. “This is a school after all… It’s still holidays, so you have lots of time to think about what you want to do. We will help you however with your hearing problem.”

“... Thank you.” Said Curtis quietly. “Thank you so much.”

“Think nothing of it. Everyone deserves to live a life that’s free of stress with as many opportunities as possible.” Said Adam. “I’ll bring you some painting stuff tomorrow.”


	239. Friends perhaps? (Highschool AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe... just maybe... Keith has... Friends? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The day had actually gone a lot better for Keith than he expected. Lance and his friends were pretty nice to him. Sure they didn’t interact much during class, but they said hi to him in the hallway and when the day was over they actually said goodbye to him when the day was over. Maybe he had actually made friends? Something he didn’t think he’d end up doing at school.

When he got home he saw Adam and Shiro were in the lounge room. Adam was looking over a sheet of paper while Shiro was working his new prosthetic arm. Keith was even more excited. The arm kind of looked like something you’d use to grab something off a high shelf.

“You got your arm!” Said Keith excitedly.

Shiro looked over at him and smiled. “Yeah… I think I’m going to poke my eye out with it though…”

“You just need some practice.” Said Adam. “Just give it some time. We’ll save up and get an arm that looks more like a hand and less like a fish hook.”

“Yeah, I know.” Said Shiro as he looked down at it. He moved his arm a few times and moved the little little finger prongs a few times. “So how was your day?”

“I um… I think I made friends today?” Said Keith. “I um… Yeah.”

Adam smiled at him. “Really? Who?”

“Um, Hunk, Pidge and Lance…” Said Keith.

“Isn’t Pidge that girl that’s always winning science awards?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. And Hunk is always around… and um, Lance is the guy that everyone thinks I beat up…”

“Well, at least he’s talking to you and he’s your friend now.” Said Adam. “So not all bad, right?”

Keith nodded again. “Yeah. I… I’m glad that he doesn’t hate me. I’m going to go back to my room and do some more homework.”

“You do that.” Said Adam. “One of us will come by and get you when dinner is ready.”

“Okay. Cool.” Keith went to his room and started to finish up the rest of his science assignment. He was in really good spirits.He might have had friends now. It was really nice. And to think, all he had to do to make friends was to carry one of them to the sick bay after they got knocked out. Not very conventional, but it was still nice. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw some more shadows dancing and moving. It kind of looked like a bug or something. He batted away at the shadow, thinking it might have been an insect, but nothing happened. He sighed in annoyance, but he wouldn’t let this dampen his spirit. He had friends, or something very close to friends. He was going to try and make it work. Even if they were only friends until they graduated in a few months, he wanted to have friends.

***

“Keith isn’t anywhere near as violent as I thought he would be.” Said Pidge. “My overly dramatic revenge robot didn’t even get used!” The trio were hanging out in the food court at the mall. Mostly reflecting on the events that happened with Keith. Everyone had been surprised at how chill Keith was.

“Wait, did you actually have a revenge robot?” Asked Lance.

Pidge nodded and took out a remote control car with a thumbtack glued to the front of it. ‘The revengbot.”

“... Really Pidge?”

“Hey, I made this like an hour before I went to bed.” She whined. “Anyway, point is Keith isn’t as much of an asshole as you thought he was.”

Hunk nodded in agreement. “Yeah. He honestly seems kind of shy and kind of tired? Maybe he’s studying hard? Do you think he’ll want to do a study session with us when it gets closer to exams?”

“Maybe…” Lance sighed a little. Keith was still hot in his eyes. Hot, sexy and dangerous. He could still see Keith wrapping his hands around his throat and squeezing until he passed out, while Keith was fucking him of course. Yeah, Lance was still a bit of a degenerate pervert and didn’t want to give up his little fantasy just yet.

Perhaps Keith was actually really sweet, but maybe he was still a total dom in bed? He really hoped that it might have been the case. He really, really wanted Keith to be a super hot, sexy, sadistic lover… But he didn’t even know if Keith liked men either. He groaned in annoyance. He really wished that he wasn’t like this, but he was like this.

Pidge nudged Lance’s side. “Don’t look so disappointed. So what if Keith is actually a normal human. You should be thankful. Can you imagine what kind of fucked up shit he might have done to you?”

“Yes…”

She frowned at him. “You disgust me.”

“Don’t say things that will make me feel things!”

“Ew.”

Hunk rolled his eyes. “Come on you two. Stop being silly. Now that everything has been sorted out, I have to ask… Have you guys put in your permission slips for the job fair in two weeks?”

Ah yes, the job fair. The last minute attempt to get kids to sign up for different universities for whatever they wanted to do. That and trade schools. Trade schools were always good. He was pretty sure one of his cousins went to a trade school. Became a plumber. Nice gig too.

“I already know where I’m going.” Sai Pidge. “I like, have three different scholarships to go to four different places. I already know which two I want to go to. It all comes down to how much my parents can pay. My uni of choice will only accept one scholarship, while my second choice will cover all three.”

“I’m going to go to a local culinary school.” Said Hunk. He had always loved cooking and baking. His parents would have probably tried to push him to go to a more prestigious cooking school, but knowing Hunk he would want to stay local.

Lance himself wanted to be a teacher. A primary school teacher or maybe a kindergarten one? He likes looking after his little cousins, nieces and nephews, even if they take all his snacks and what not. It was a little annoying, but he liked teaching kids new things. He just wasn’t sure where to go. Money was the big issue. He was part of a huge family. He did apply for scholarships, but he needed to figure out where he was going to go first.

“I wonder what Keith is going to do.” Voiced Hunk. “I mean, he seems pretty down to earth, but we don’t really know much about him… Is he even passing his classes?”

Lance shrugged. “Not a clue. He misses a lot of class, so probably not.”

“You think he will even graduate this year?” Asked Pidge.

Lance really hoped that Keith would graduate with them that year. Keith was a little rough around the edges, but that sexy delinquent deserved to graduate. He really wanted Keith to punch him or something before they graduated. Dan him and his horny fantasies. Maybe he should talk to someone professional about his fantasies? Who the hell would want to hear about a teenager basically wanting to be sexually assaulted that wasn’t on some kind of list?

***

It was a beautiful day. Slightly overcast, slight breeze. It was nice. So nice that Keith ended up napping on the school roof for most of the day. It was a very, very good day outside. Yeah, it might have been a little unorthodox to pick the lock on the door to the roof to nap, but Keith didn’t want to bother Coran too much and take up room in the sick bay.

He only woke up when his phone went off. Keith had set an alarm to make sure he didn’t sleep through the whole day and get locked in the school. It had happened before. It was a very interesting night for him.

So he dusted himself off, checked the time, and headed to art class. He was doing an abstract painting for his final grade. It wasn’t anything fancy. Just a bunch of dark colours that were accented with bright flecks of red. He did minimal research on other artists and wrote some bullshit about what inspired him and stuff.

If he was trying to represent a feeling it might have been depression or tired. Either one. That was all. He didn’t really care too much. He just liked slapping some paint into a canvas. As he worked he looked around the room, the first time he had done so in a long time. He actually saw Lance.

The boy caught his eye and grinned at him before walking over. “Hey Keith. I didn’t really see you much today. What’s up?”

Keith shrugged. “I’ve been a little distracted today. We have art together?”

“Yeah, and a few other classes.” Said Lance happily. “So, want to hang out after school?”

“Um…” Keith wasn’t too sure if he should hang out with Lance after school. He didn’t deviate too much from his afternoon routine. He also wanted to be around Shiro as much as possible while he had the week off of work. Would it be bad to turn Lance down? Would he be offended? They were only just friends now, right?

“If you have work or something that’s cool. I totally get it.” Said Lance quickly.

“No it’s not that.” Said Keith. “I um… I… My brother only recently got discharged from the army… He um… He isn’t that… I kind of want to spend time with him and help him settle back into his old life…”

Lance looked a little surprised to hear him say that. “Oh sure! I totally get it. Don’t worry about it. Hope he feels better soon, yeah? So um… Anyway, what are you making? Looks kind of… grey?”

Keith looked back at his canvas and shrugged. “It’s just a painting. I wanted to do something easy. Abstract is pretty easy. Just choose a colour scheme and decide how you want to splatter paint on it. Then let everyone else interpret what it means. Like most other art.”

“... That’s actually pretty smart.” Commented Lance. “You gonna try and make it in the art world as some fancy artist?”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Keith still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. With his medical condition he probably couldn’t even join the army. He doubted that Shiro would let him anywhere near a recruitment center after he got his arm blown off anyway.

“Oh um… What are you planning to do after school?”

Keith shrugged. “Don’t know. Going to just work for a year I guess? I kind of want to move out and find my own place to live.”

“Really? So soon?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I want to give Adam and Shiro some space. There are some cheaper places around, and I’m going to do my best to give them the space they deserve.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep. That’s the plan.” Said Keith quietly. “Work for a year, maybe figure out what to do with my life? If not I’ll just keep working. Maybe Kolivan will give me a promotion or something when I’ve graduated? That will be nice. I think I’ll make like two extra bucks if I get the night manager or something…”

“That’s cool.” Said Lance. “So um… Want to eat lunch again with us? We all like you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He smiled kindly at him. “We really do like you. You’re really cool.”

Keith was surprised to hear him say that. Someone thought he was cool? He was pretty sure that he was the weird kid that no one liked for some reason. He could feel his face heating up in embarrassment.

“O-oh… Okay…” He quickly looked away and felt like he was going to die. He knew that he was bright red. When was the last time he was this embarrassed? Is this what it was like to have friends? You get all embarrassed over compliments? He wasn’t sure he liked this.

Lance continued to smile at him and talked a little more about apartments and where he would like to live if he could. “Like, a small place.” He said. “Yeah, I have a big family and everything, but I want to have my own place where everyone can’t stay over if they feel like it, you know?”

“Lance!” Called the teacher. “Back to work now? Please?”

“Right, sorry miss!” He looked back at Keith. “See you at lunch, okay?”

Keith nodded. “Y-yeah. See you at lunch…” He watched Lance walk back to his own project and Keith went back to him. He still felt so embarrassed by Lance calling him cool. It was so weird. He had no idea why Lance made him feel this way. This was probably just a weird friend thing. Yeah, just a friend thing.


	240. Pearls and daggers (Witch AU XXI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter for the witch AU. I'm glad you all enjoyed selkie Lance. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The relationship between Lance and Keith was slowly starting to develop into something more bountiful. Keith had warmed up to the idea of Lance being his boyfriend and possible lover while continuing their professional relationship as wicche and familiar. It was a little awkward for the both of them for a while, but they were working on it.

Thankfully with the cold weather rolling in, Keith was quite happy to cuddle up to Lance in bed. Apparently being such a chunky seal made him the perfect hot water bottle. Lance was very pleased by this turn of events too.

One thing that Lance was very surprised by though, was snow. He really, really loved it. The first day that snow happened to fall on the house, Lance almost lost his mind. He happily ran out and started sliding around. He ended up drifting and slid straight into the river. Thankfully he seemed very happy about this and swam around a little. It was kind of sweet.

Keith just went about collecting firewood while Lance enjoyed cold weather. It was kind of nice. It all seemed rather domestic to him and Keith really liked it. There was something nice about living like this.

When it got too cold, or at least when Keith got too cold, they would go back inside and Keith would light a fire. Most of the time they would sit side by side with Keith draping a blanket over his shoulders. Lance would usually sit next to him in his seal form, but sometimes he would sit by him in his human form.

On this particular evening, Lance was in his human for and spread his seal skin over his legs like a blanket. He looked like he was trying to flatten out the wrinkles in the skin. It was very interesting just to see it all flattened out like that.

“What are you doing?” Asked Keith.

“Just making sure it’s all pretty and stuff.” Said Lance as he ran his fingers over the muzzle. “Gotta do that every once in a while.”

“I see… Hey Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“Just wondering, but is it your skin that’s magic or you yourself?”

Lance gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you can pull your seal skin on and off.” Said Keith. “Is it the skin that turns you into a seal or is it you that makes the skin stick to you and become a seal? I was just wondering…”

Lance looked down at his skin and then at Keith. “Did you want to try it on? See if you can become a seal?”

Keith could feel his face heating up in embarrassment. “Well… I’m just curious. I still don’t know too much about selkies…”

The selkie nodded and looked down at the seal skin before he held it up to Keith. “Here. Try it on.”

Keith was a little shocked. “Seriously? You’re giving me your skin?”

“It’s only temporary.” Said Lance. “Besides, I trust you. I know you won’t just set it on fire and make me stay with you forever. You’re a good person. I love you. I trust you completely.”

He was touched by this. Keith wasn’t very sure what to do to make it stick to his own skin. He thought for a bit and thought it might be logical to have skin contact with the seal skin. So with much reluctance, Keith removed his jumper, tunic, and long sleeved shirt and attempted to put the skin on.

“... I feel like an idiot.” 

Lance chuckled. “Well, you don’t look very smart either.”

The skin didn’t adhere to Keith’s skin at all. It just hung off his body like any normal animal skin. Keith quickly gave it back and pulled his much warmer clothes back on. “I think you are magical… You do cry pearls too after all.”

“Very true… Oh! That reminds me!” Lance happily got up, tied his seal skin around himself, and headed over to the sandy patch that was once his bed and dug around a little. After a few seconds, Lance took out a box and happily walked over to Keith, handing it to him. “Here. For you.”

Keith took the box and looked it over. “... For me?”

He nodded. “Yeah. When I went to town a few weeks ago to do some things, I talked to Pidge to see if I could get some more salt. There was this really pretty box and she helped me with some other stuff… Anyway, I hope you like it.”

“It’s a very nice box.” Said Keith as he brushed some of the sand off of it.

“Silly. There is something inside it.” 

Keith raised an eyebrow and opened the box. Inside was a leather pouch and something that looked like a piece of wonky metal. Lance quickly took the metal out of the box, looking slightly embarrassed.

“Sorry. I forgot I left that in there…”

“What is it?”

“That practice dagger you let me keep.” Said Lance quietly. “I liked it and I… Well I like it.”

Keith felt touched. “Really? I can make you a much better dagger if you want?”

Lance shook his head. “No. I like this one. It might not be very practical, but it is special to me because you gave it to me and let me keep it… Anyway, open your gift. I was working on it for a while before we got together officially.”

Keith picked up the pouch. It looked like a coin pouch. He gave it a little shake and he heard a slight clatter and jingle. It didn’t sound like coins. Keith opened it up and tipped it out into his hand. Out spilled a necklace made from pearls. Bright pink, almost red pearls. Keith was stunned.

Lance grinned at him. “Do you like it? I made the pearls myself.”

“Really?”

“Yep. I talked to Pidge a little and she said if I could get the pearls she would thread them for me, so I made myself cry.”

“You made yourself cry?” Asked Keith. “You should do that Lance. These pearls are yours.”

Lance shook his head and took the necklace out of Keith’s hands. “Nope. These are yours. The colour of the pearls change due to the reason why we cried. When our pearls are pink and red it means love. The more intense the red is the more intense our love is.” Lance put the necklace around Keith’s neck and smiled lovingly at him. “These pearls represent how much I love you. It’s a personal gift that I wanted to give you.”

Keith felt his face just completely burning with embarrassment. This just felt so deeply personal he didn’t really know if he had the words to describe how to express his feelings for Lance at that moment. So instead, he reached out and kissed Lance softly on the lips.

The selkie melted into the kiss and happily kissed back. Keith was still a little shy about PDA, but he was getting better. He was getting used to the slightly fishy smell and or taste that more often than not comes with kissing Lance. That was fine though. Lance was worth it. He was lucky he didn’t have a fish allergy. That could have been bad.

They pulled away slightly, pressing their foreheads together. They stared deeply into each other’s eyes. When Keith looked into Lance’s eyes he saw the vast and endless ocean. When Lance looked into Keith’s, he saw the universe.

“Thank you.” Said Keith quietly. “For choosing me.”

“I’d choose you everytime for a thousand lifetimes and then a thousand more.” Said Lance as he moved in for another kiss.


	241. Scummy landlords (Shop AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some landlords are assholes. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith woke up bright and early and went to make himself breakfast. Only to find that there was a leak in his ceiling above the kitchen table. This was extremely annoying. He had told the landlord about this many, many times. He took a photo and told the landlord to fix this by the time he got home or he’d do something they would regret. The only way the landlord did anything was if Keith threatened them.

He went to work at the bookshop and was happy to see Lance was there and cleaning things up like always. Keith smiled at him and walked over. His back was to him as he was looking through some jackets on a rack.

“Hey.”

Lance yelped a little and quickly spun around. He was completely beet red. It was kind of cute in Keith’s opinion. He couldn’t help but grin at him.

“H-hi Keith.” He said quickly. “I um… I got you a coffee…” Lance gestured to the counter over near his register.

“Thanks.” Keith walked over and happily grabbed his coffee. It was black, but a little sweet. It was very, very nice. Keith wasn’t usually one for sweet coffee, but it was kind of nice when Lance got it for him. “So, what did you get up to last night?”

Lance shrugged. “Nothing much. Just watching TV, scrolling through my socials. That stuff. Nothing crazy. You?”

“Made dinner, threatened the landlord, watched TV, the usual.” Said Keith. 

Lance nodded a little as he busied himself with the jackets again. “Oh? What were you watching?”

“Ice road cryptid hunters.”

Lance paused for a moment and looked over at Keith, giving him the most confused look he had seen in a long time. “I’m sorry, but ice road what?”

“Ice road cryptid hunters.” Said Keith. “It’s this show where these two truckers travel through the Northern Canadian provinces to try and find cryptids in the town they fill up their trucks at.”

Lance still looked confused. “Huh?”

“It’s on the History channel.”

“Ah, okay. Sounds about right.”

“Yeah.” Keith looked through the NEW book box under the counter. It was just the books that they didn’t put out yet because they didn’t have room or because they just couldn’t have been stuffed to put them out yet. “So, what did you watch?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you were watching TV last night.” Said Keith. “What were you watching?”

“Oh…” Lance seemed kind of nervous now. “Um… Just a rerun of keeping up with the Kardashians… Season two.”

“Really?” Asked Keith. “I um… I never really understood the appeal of those shows. They always just seemed a little… Shallow? But hey, maybe I’m missing out on something?”

“M-maybe…” Said Lance quietly.

“Yeah…” Keith continued to go about setting up for the day, but felt like there was a weird tension in the air. He wasn’t really sure why. Maybe he was a little rude about Lance’s TV viewing choices. “So, any more fish facts you want to share?”

Lance quickly shook his head. “N-no… no fish facts…”

“... Okay?”

***

Lance felt so awkward around Keith. He didn’t really like him, did he? Okay, Keith did have a drink with him after work, but Keith was… He had to have been annoyed by his fish facts. Who found that kind of nerdy stuff interesting? Certainly not Keith. He was into motorbikes and apparently Ice road cryptid hunters… Maybe he should look at that to see what it was about?

Then again, why should he even bother? Keith was going to quickly tell him that he didn’t want to hang out with him and or he had other things to do. He was so stupid. He wished he was smart and interesting like Keith was. They might have some more things to talk about if that was the case.

He sighed a little and wondered if he could avoid Keith for most of the day, when he suddenly got tackled by a small child. “Tio Lance!”

Lance looked down at a young girl pigtail. She was grinning up at him and Lance grinned down at her. “Nadia! What are you doing here?” He picked her up and put her on the counter.

She giggled and swung her tiny legs. “Mama and I are going grocery shopping and I saw you and I came over to see you!”

Lance frowned a little and looked out the front of the store to see his sister in law walking over to the store with a trolley full of groceries. She looked a little relieved to see Lance and Nadia together.

“You really shouldn’t run away from your mama like that.” He looked over at his sister in law. “Hi Lisa.”

“Hi Lance.” She said with a weary smile. “Sorry about Nadia. She should know better than running off like that.”

“Sorry mama…” Said Nadia quietly.

Lisa sighed and shook her head. “Anyway, it has been a while Lance. You should come over soon. Luis would love to see you again, and so Silvio. He really misses his favourite uncle.”

“Aw, I miss him too.” Said Lance. “When I get some time off I’ll come on over for dinner. I’ll bring something nice to drink.”

“Sounds lovely.” Lisa looked over at Nadia, who was looking at some stuffed animals. “Nadia! Time to go. We need to get the ice cream in the fridge before it melts.”

“Okay mama!” Nadia quickly went over to Lance and hugged him tightly before going over to Lisa and holding onto the side of the shopping trolley. “Bye tio Lance!”

“Bye bye Nadia.” He waved at them for a bit before he went back to work. As he did, he couldn’t help but notice that Keith was watching him with an amused smile. “W-what?” He squeaked.

“Tio?” He questioned.

Lance nodded. “Yeah, it’s Spanish for uncle… I um… I’m Cuban.”

“Oh, that’s pretty neat.” Said Keith. “So that was your niece and sister?”

He quickly shook his head. “Oh no. Lisa is my sister in law. That’s all.”

“Huh, okay.”

The two of them continued to work, and at about midday Allura happily came in to take over for Lance. He only worked a half day today. He quickly grabbed his things and said goodbye to Allura and Keith before heading off to have lunch and then he’d head home. Keith seemed a little surprised to see Lance leave, but kind of just waved goodbye to him.

Lance ended up getting some spicy chicken and rice and decided to eat it when he went home. He still felt pretty guilty about where he lived and how he lived. Maybe he should buy a cheaper place in a different part of the city? Maybe? He wasn’t sure. Lance just sighed and ate his lunch while looking through his phone at a couple of different universities that had courses that he was kind of interested in. If he was younger and smarter then maybe he would think about applying. However he wasn’t smart and he probably wouldn’t get his parents approval to help. He wished he knew what he wanted to do when he was younger.

***

When Lance left, Keith couldn’t help but ask Allura what was up. “Oh, Lance just has a half day today.” Said Allura. “That’s all.”

“Ah, okay.” Keith kind of wanted to ask Lance if he wanted to go out and get another drink after work. He’d just ask him tomorrow.

Shiro came in carrying a box of books. “Hey guys. Where’s Lance?”

“Clocked out already.” Said Allura.

“Ah, alright.” He put the box down on the counter in front of Keith and started to take out some books. “Okay, most of these are science related. I think it’s all physics stuff? I didn’t really look at them much. Want to help put them away?”

“Yeah, sure.” Keith was more than happy to put them away. “So… You had a date last night, yeah? How did that go?”

Shiro had a silly look on his face. “Yeah, Adam’s really nice. We’re going out for coffee next week.”

“What about that other guy?” Asked Keith. “Are you going to see him?”

“Of course.” Said Shiro. “Keith, the dating pool for openly gay men in this area is pretty small. If you’re actively dating, you’re actively dating a few people before you decide if there is anyone you actually want to date. Like, seriously. There aren't enough people for us to be too picky.”

Keith shrugged. “Whatever. Date younger?”

“Nah, I’m not into young people as much as others. I like people that are only one or two years younger or older than me.” Said Shiro. “Youngest I’d go is five years younger than me. Past that I feel like a creep.”

“You’re already pretty creepy old man.” Said Keith.

Shiro rolled his eyes and ruffled Keith’s hair. He made it twice as messy as it usually did. “Don’t be a smart ass. Get those books put away and I’ll treat you to a burger for lunch.”

“Bribing me with food?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Is it working?”

“... Yes.”

***

When Keith got home that evening he was a little shocked to see someone in a hazmat suit talking to his scummy landlord outside of his place. “What the hell is going on here?” He asked.

His landlord gave him a very, very annoyed look. “Well, I’m going to fix that drip of yours. But you can’t stay here anymore.”

“What? Why?”

The landlord looked over at the man in the hazmat suit and grumbled. “Black mold. It’s a huge problem. All in the kitchen, in the walls, in the bathroom. The whole place is pretty much condemned now until it gets cleaned out. Congratulations kid. You made yourself homeless.”

Keith was shocked. He just wanted the leak in his roof fixed. Now he was homeless. Shiro was probably going to be pissed.


	242. Traveling (AtLA AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this will probably be the last of the daily uploads for a while. It has been a wild ride seeing how many days I could post in a row. Almost a year. I'm going to try and post a few times a week. Maybe three times a week? Things are happening and I just need to wind the fanfic back a bit. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance woke up with a terrible hangover. He didn’t even drink that much of it. Adam was a monster when it came to brewing. He totally had to get some of the booze to give to his brother’s and sisters when he next saw them. Thankfully Adam wasn’t a total ass and left some herbs out for Lance to chew to help with his hangover.

He wandered outside to see Adam tending to Shiro, who also had a hangover, while Hunk was trading a few more goods from his cart. Pidge and Keith were practicing some bending stuff. They looked like they were trying to mirror each other’s moves. It was interesting.

He stumbled out and walked over to them. Kind of waved at them. “Hey… Why is the sun so bright?”

“Because fuck you that’s why.” Said Pidge. She breathed out and managed to lift a rock out of the pond… a rock that Blue was sitting on.

“QUACK?!”

“Sorry Blue!” Pidge very carefully put the rock down and Blue quickly swam to the otherside of the pond. Pidge dusted her hands off and looked at Lance. “So, hungover?”

“Yeah… What are you guys doing?”

Pidge shrugged. “Keith is just showing me some stuff that Adam showed him. It’s kind of actually working.”

“Oh? That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah.” Said Keith. “But I think I’ve learned everything I can learn from Adam… I might have achieved some kind of peace, but I don’t think it’s enough to fully calm my fire.” He sighed a little. “I think It’s time for Shiro and I to move on… Once Shiro’s hangover is gone that is…” The trio looked over to Shiro. He looked kind of green. “Probably won’t be able to talk about leaving until tonight… What are you three going to do?”

“I assumed we were all leaving together?” Said Lance. “Like, why wouldn’t we?”

“Because we all just agreed to come to the temple together.” Said Keith. “So, yeah? Why else would we need to travel together?”

Pidge frowned a little. “So you don’t like us or something?”

Keith shrugged. “You guys are fine but… I still don’t see why you would want to travel with us…”

Lance shrugged. “A sense of adventure? Plus we got a flying bison now. That would really cut time down. Plus you and Shiro are pretty cool. Don’t you want to keep traveling with us?”

“... I mean, I wouldn’t mind.” Said Keith. “But-”

“Then we are traveling together.” Said Pidge. “Do you and Shiro have any idea where you’re going next?”

Keith shrugged. “We were kind of just wandering around really…”

“Hunk has an idea of where we’re going.” Said Lance. “It’ll be cool. Right? I mean, I like hanging out with you and Shiro. Shiro’s really cool and well, we are going to end up heading to the Southern water tribe. That should really help chill you out?”

Keith sighed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well if you guys want us to stick around… I guess we could...”

“That’s the spirit.” Said Pidge.

***

Later that evening when Shiro didn’t feel so sick, he and Hunk talked about what to do and how they were going to go about traveling together. With Adam’s permission, they were going to leave Hunk’s horse and cart with Adam. He would take them back to Hunk’s village in a few weeks when the baby bison were old enough to fly without face planting. They would just put everything else on Kuro’s back. Flying bison could carry a lot of weight.

So in the morning everyone was loading a few crates and bedrolls onto Kuro’s back. Kuro kept walking away as they tried to do this. So it took the better half of the morning. It was very difficult to distract them.

As that went on, Shiro and Adam were talking. “Thanks for taking Hunk’s horse and cart back. His family will really appreciate it.”

Adam shrugged. “Think nothing of it. It’s the least I can do.”

“Yeah… I’m still sorry that-”

“Don’t.” Said Adam quickly. “Look, maybe someday things might change, but right now… You have other things you need to do. Like trying to take care of that mess.” He gestured to the four young adults attempting to strap a crate to Kuro’s back. Kuro was ignoring them and walking to the pond for a drink.

Shiro nodded and sighed. “Yeah… They are an interesting bunch… Thanks for helping Keith.”

“Think nothing of it.” Said Adam. “I’m just glad I could help. Just, when you get him to meditate, just remind him to reflect on his own actions since the last time he meditated.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I thought the whole self improvement angle would work rather than trying to just find inner peace.” 

“Yeah, that might work best for him. Thanks again for everything Adam. I appreciate it.”

They heard the group cheering and looked over to see that the group had finally got the rest of Hunk’s things onto Kuro’s back. It seemed to be an ordeal and Kuro didn’t look very pleased at the people on his back. But didn’t put up much of a fight. Maybe he just had resting bitch face?

Shiro looked back at Adam and offered his hand to him. “Until we see each other again?”

Adam smiled back at him and shook his hand. “Until we see each other again...” He quickly pulled Shiro into a hug and whispered quietly to him. “The next time you come back you better lose that adventurous spirit of yours. I don’t think I’ll be able to see you again and not keep you here.”

That made Shiro blush a little. “Sounds good to me… I will come back to you no matter what. Maybe we can start over?”

“Maybe. We’ll see. I’m not going to hold my breath.”

“Adam, I-”

“Let’s go Shiro!” Called Keith from the bison.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” He gave Adam one last look before he went over to Kuro and grabbed hold of the reins. “Okay… Let’s see if I can do this… Um… Yip, yip?”

Kuro let out a long sigh before he reluctantly lifted into the air and lazily started to fly off towards the mainland. The flying bison didn’t seem too keen about doing anything, but that was just him by the look of it. The rest of the group made themselves comfortable and took out a map. Hunk was pointing out places they should hit up on the way to the Southern water tribe.

“So there are a few places we can hit up along the coast.” He said.

“Right be the Si Wong desert?” Asked Pidge.

Hunk nodded. “Yeah. We’re going to head to the swamp too and-”

“Why the swamp?” Asked Keith.

“There’s a group of water benders that live in the swamp that I like visiting.” Said Hunk. “They have some really good jewelry that sells pretty well in the fire nation. We can also stop by Kyoshi island too.”

“It’ll be nice to see my parents again.” Said Pidge. “Maybe Matt will be back by then?”

“It’ll be awesome to see him again.” Said Hunk. 

“Same.” Said Lance. “Matt’s pretty cool.”

“Nah, he’s a dork.” Said Pidge. “Big bro’s always been a dork.”

“Big bro?” Questioned Lance.

“Don’t question what I call Matt.” Snapped Pidge. “I’ll push you off the bison!”

***

The day continued on rather peacefully all things considered. Keith was a little restless and ended up walking from one end of Kuro to the other. When he got tired of that, Keith ended up looking over the edge of Kuro and just watched the ocean pass by. He hadn’t really talked much to Lance since the whole water healing experience, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

Sure he felt more relaxed and kind of good after it, but it was so weird. It felt strange to him. He wasn’t really sure how to explain it. It just felt too intimate. He wouldn’t say he felt violated, he just felt weird. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but he was pretty sure he didn’t like it.

After a while Lance sat next to him, grinning. “Hey man. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Why?”

Lance shrugged. “Just checking in on you. You feeling okay after that healing?”

Keith shrugged. “Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good. That water healing stuff is pretty amazing.”

Lance grinned. “Yeah, it is. It can heal most things, but you never know. Stuff happens. So um… You had a lot of small injuries all here and there.” He pointed to Keith’s hands, back, and neck. You had a lot of tension in those places. Especially the neck.”

Keith shrugged again. “Yeah, these things happen I guess? Can’t really help that I have a lot of tension in those areas.”

“Yeah, you really need to get massages in those areas or something. That much tension can’t be good for you.”

“Oh yeah? And you’re the master of relaxation?”

“Heck yeah. Us waterbender’s gotta be as relaxed as possible to pull off our moves. A lot less rigid than something like earthbending or firebending.” He looked over at Shiro. “Airbending is a little more fluid and on par with what I’m used to… Maybe that’s why the Avatar teamed up with Katara?”

“She’s a pretty legendary waterbender huh?”

“She’s really impressive.” Said Lance. “Hell, I’m super impressed with the whole group that the Avatar gathered to take down the fire lord. They were all like, fourteen or something?”

“Around that age I think?” Keith wasn’t too sure, but he knew they were all very young. He was very impressed that Aang was able to master all four elements so quickly to save the world. He couldn’t even master firebending. If he was the avatar he probably would have accidentally blown up the whole world already.

“Yeah. It’s such a cool story.”

“Yeah...” Keith was on the fence about the whole Avatar thing. The Avatar was meant to bring stability and balance to the world. At least that’s what his dad had always told him. But he was always a little upset when he heard these stories because the fire nation was always the bad guys. In retrospect they literally were the bad guys, but it was pretty damaging to hear that you were born into a nation of bad guys.

“You two want some lunch?” Asked Hunk as he looked through one of his crates. “I don’t really want to set anything on fire to cook while we’re on Kuro’s back… So it’s mostly bread and some dried meat. Unless you want some tofu?”

“You have any smoked fish left?” Asked Lance.

“Yeah, but you better get some before Pidge decides to hoard it all.”

Pidge pouted. “Hey, fish is good. Not my fault if you’re going to just talk everyone’s ear off rather than eat.” As those two bickered, Keith snuck in and grabbed a large portion of dried fish for himself and quietly ate it.


	243. And the legend lives on (Monsters and Manna AU XXI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last part of this AU. Hope you all like it. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

After what felt like forever, the group managed to make their way out of the underdark. Block was very relieved and looked like he was crying tears of joy. Valayun and Shiro were also pretty relieved to be outside. Now they just had to travel back to Block’s village. Everyone was in high spirits as they talked about what they wanted to do now.

“It’s going to be great to see my family up and about again.” Said Block. “I hope they were okay while I was gone…”

Meklavar shrugged. “Hopefully they didn’t get crapped on by too many birds.”

“... I didn’t think of that.” Block frowned. “We’ll need to give them all a quick wash before we turn them back.”

“Good thinking.” Said Shio. He sighed a little and stretched. “Well, what are you all going to do once this is all over? I mean, after we save Block’s town we’re taking the emerald to Meklavar’s home and then that’s kind of it, right?”

“I think I will stay home for a while.” Said Block. “Make sure everyone is good and settled. After this adventure I think I’m good for a while.”

Meklavar laughed. “Yeah, that sounds like you. I’m gonna kick back for a while. Work in the family forge for a few weeks. It’s gonna be sweet. What about you Shiro?”

“I think I’ll go home and see my parents for a bit. It has been a while. What about you Valayun?”

The elf smiled happily. “I think I shall go back to the forest where we first met. I do enjoy being there. There is something to be said about the peace one finds in nature.”

Shiro nodded and looked over at Thundar and Pike. “And you two?”

“I’m going to go back to live with my mother for a while.” Said Thundar. “I want to know more about my family and where I came from…”

“And I’m going with him.” Said Pike. “Where Thundar goes I go.”

“Bark!” Said Bolt.

“HISSSSSSSSSSSS!” Pike practically jumped into a tree. “Why is he out?!”

“Because Bolt deserves to go for a walk.” Said Thundar. The group laughed and continued on their way. 

Once they got to a village they went to the local pub to eat, drink, sleep, and look over their map. They needed to figure out what was the quickest way back to Block’s village. Meklavar was quick to point out that the quickest way would be about one week. It was a little annoying, but they would get by as quickly as possible.

“We just need to cut through the forest.” She said. “Any objections?” With no objections the group made plans and retired for the evening.

***

“Is something wrong Coran?” Asked Pidge.

The group looked over at Coran, who seemed a little sad. “Oh, don’t worry about me. I always get a little sad when a journey comes to an end. It was fun while it lasted… Ah, oh well. We will always have memories.”

Allura frowned a little. “We can always start another campaign once we are done with this one, and this time we can all be part of the first session.”

The older man’s eyes lit up. “You know what? You’re right. I should look into some modules… I have been looking at the Waters of Fiferfeldwell. Might be interesting to make some more aquatic characters…”

“Can I still be a paladin?” Asked Shiro.

Coran nodded. “Yep, and there is a new class introduced; pirate.”

“I’m gonna be a pirate.” Said Lance. He looked over at Keith and smirked. “I’m gonna be plundering that booty.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Yeah, pretty sure I was plundering your booty last night.”

Lance went bright red and let out an indignant noise. Pidge was clearly disgusted by this, but was laughing her head off. The others were embarrassed, but mostly embarrassed for Lance. Getting called out like that was pretty brutal. Even for Keith.

“You did not plunder any booty last night!” Whined Lance.

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” Said Keith as he kept his eyes on his datapad. “I also have some audio from last night…”

“You recorded it?!”

“To be fair you tossed the datapad out of my hand when I was trying to record a video diary.”

That made Pidge laugh harder. She was almost wheezing, she was laughing so hard. “Oh my god… You two… I can’t even. You’re fucking feral, but holy shit! You’re both so stupid! Don’t ever change!”

“Can we get back to the game?” Asked Hunk.

“I agree.” Said Shiro quickly. “Continuing the game would be good.”

“Agreed.” Said Coran. He happily cracked his knuckles. “So, you wake up the next day and head on through the forest…”

***

In the forest things were going really well. The party was practically unstoppable at this point. They could all feel that their quest was coming to an end. It was a pretty bittersweet moment. They had made many memories along the way and they all were happy enough to reminisce about it.

Fighting dragons, fighting evil geese, going in for tournaments, visiting new places… It felt strange to know that it was going to be all over soon. They ended up back at Block’s village, and it seemed very eerie. Like he had said, the whole village was indeed turned to stone.

“Oh wow…” Said Pike as he brushed some leaves off a woman. “Your place is really…”

“Yeah, I know.” Said Block. “Let’s just try and get this sorted out. Now… Where should I do the spell?”

The group looked around the village for a bit before Valayun pointed to the bell tower on the chapel. “How about there? Maybe the whole village will be bathed in whatever magic the emerald radiates?”

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Let’s go Meklavar.” They walked to the bell tower and set up the emerald. Block cracked his knuckles and closed his eyes. A green light bathed the town as he chanted out a spell. As he did so, the party left on the ground watched the statues as the stone slowly melted away and they were alive again.

***

“That night you all have a feast in Block’s village.” Said Coran. “After the feast you part ways. Block stays in his village and enjoys a quiet life as a cleric. Meklavar heads home with the emerald and restores her family honor. Valayun returns to the forest to enjoy her peaceful life. Shiro goes home and spends time with his mother, and speaking of mothers, Thundar and Pike go to the underdark.”

“That’s a nice ending.” Said Hunk. 

“Yeah.” Said Pidge. “I kind of half expected a TPK at a few points. Lance.”

“Hey? What did I do?” He whined.

“Breathed.”

“Rude!”

Coran chuckled a little. “Well, that was the game. I’ll try and cook up a new game. It’ll be interesting to see what you lot come up with next time.”

“I’m going to be a paladin.” Said Shiro.

“We know.” Said Pidge. “You’re always a paladin.”

Shiro shrugged. “I like being a paladin.”

“You could consider being a fighter?” Suggested Hunk. “Less spells but you get access to some more weapons. Hand to hand combat?”

The older man thought for a moment. “Hmm… I’ll think about it.”

Allura smiled. “Well, that was a wonderful game Coran. I’m very excited to see what the next adventure will bring. I-” An alarm suddenly went off and everyone got to their feet. “Paladins! To your lions! We’re under attack!” The paladin’s quickly got up and raced to their lions. While playing Monsters and Manna was fun, they were still paladins of Voltron. They need to get back to defending the universe.


	244. Black box (Hellpoint AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to seeing Null and getting answers but... Well... You know how these things go... Also, things get pretty dark in this chapter with suicide and stuff happening and being talked about. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The group continued deeper into the technology section of the station. Everything was pretty shiny and new looking. Lots of whites, greys, and blues. It did remind the group a little of Altean architecture of the castle ship. It was interesting. Eventually they got to a fork in the road.

“Should we split up again?” Asked Lance. “Not like that really went well last time…”

Pidge double checked her map. “Well… either way would work. It doesn’t really matter.”

“Yeah, either way we’re probably going to get killed again.” Muttered Lance.

“Let’s just stick together.” Said Allura. The team nodded in agreement and followed her. As they walked they noticed some scratches and what looked like hand prints in blood. Also blood splatter, naturally. It was dried and looked very, very old. No one wanted to say anything, but they all knew how fucked up this situation was.

Every now and then Lance would quickly look up at the buildings, aiming his gun. Kind of a strange thing, but no one could blame Lance for being a little paranoid. Everyone was a little paranoid. On one of the walls was a message scrawled out in blood. **Save us.** The end of the u was smeared down to the ground where there was a dried puddle of blood on the ground above a drain. It was kind of nauseating. 

Shiro looked around a corner, checking that if it was safe. He gestured for everyone to follow. The group followed him and saw what looked like a fountain, but it was broken. Water wasn’t spouting from the fountain, it had long dried up, cracks and cuts in the fountain with blood splatter all over the place. Most of it was old, but there was some that was fresh.

They cautiously approached and heard what sounded like heavy panting and grunting. Around the other side of the fountain they found Fewbar. She was missing one arm and looked like they were stomping on some kind of organic matter that fell out of the shattered glass dome of some kind of cyborg.

“Fucking die you piece of shit!” They growled. “Just fucking die! Die! Die!”

Allura cleared her throat. “Fewbar?”

Fewbar paused for a moment and looked over at them. “Oh, hey. You guys are still around… You made it here rather quickly.”

“What is that thing?” Asked Pidge as she pointed to the cyborg.

Fewbar kicked it. “These things are all over this place. The residents here seem to want to get rid of their flesh. Stripped it down to their most basic and important parts. All they really need is their brain and their brainstem. Even then I have heard them talking about shaving away unnecessary parts of their brains… It’s fucked up.”

“Were they trying to kill you?” Asked Shiro as he cautiously approached the cyborg. It didn’t look humanoid at all. It was strange. It looked like it had an odd number of limbs. Most of which seemed to end in tools. It was very strange looking. 

“Yeah.” Muttered Fewbar. “The fucking thing took one of my arms.” They gestured to their missing limb with their three other limbs. They sat at the edge of the fountain and started to fiddle with some kind of weapon they removed from their leg holster.

Hunk sat next to them. “So, what happened since we last saw you? Besides losing your arm?”

They shrugged. “I tried to deactivate the shields again. They upped the security. The architect got me killed twice by the engineers… Well, they got me once. I committed suicide the second time.”

Hearing them admit that in an almost proud manner seemed to shock the rest of them. “You did what?” Asked Allura. “Why?”

Once again Fewbar shrugged. “They cut my leg off and they were dragging me to one of the exoskeletons. The architect wanted me to become one of them. I wasn’t going to let that happen… You don’t die when you’re put in one of those. Whatever pipes get shoved into them stop them from dying. I’d rather shoot myself in the head than be forced to do that… You guys should consider doing that too if you get injured or lose a limb here. It’s not like you’re going to die, and it’s better to have all of your limbs than missing one.”

Hunk sighed a little. “Well yeah but-”

Before he could finish what he was saying, Fewbar pressed the barrel of the weapon they were holding against the bottom of their chin and pulled the trigger. A grapple hook shot out through the back of their head. It sprayed blood, brain matter, and skull fragments all over the dried up fountain. Everyone stared in shock as they slumped backwards into the fountain. After a few ticks their body shuddered slightly and turned to red goo. The majority of it slothed down the drain while some of it collected around the base of said fountain.

Everyone was in shock. None of them knew how to react to seeing Fewbar commit suicide in front of them. On one hand they were probably right about needing to stay as healthy and as physically intact as possible. But to go so far as to kill yourself to do it? That seemed very extreme.

“... Let’s just get to Null.” Said Allura quietly. “Where to now Pidge?”

“...”

“Pidge?”

“What? Oh right… Over there…” She pointed to a street and the group quietly continued on. They eventually found the building. It was a grey rectangular building with very few windows. “This is the place.” She said.

“Is there even a door?” Asked Keith. None of them could actually see a door or some kind of entrance for the building. It was weird. The group had a quick look around until they found a security intercom on the side of the building.

Allura ended up pressing the call button. “Hello? Null? Are you okay?”

After a few seconds the intercom crackled to life. _“Oh good. You made it in one piece. Come on in.”_

“We can’t. There is no door.”

 _“Really? Hold on one second…”_ They could hear the sound of someone quickly typing away at a keyboard. _“Ah, okay. The door is jammed. The last time I put the building on lockdown I think the lock got broken… I’ll start fixing it right away. Might take a while though… You know, getting parts is hard and all that…”_

“So we’re stuck out here?” Asked Pidge.

 _“For the moment.”_ She said. _“It will be fine. Really. Just sit tight.”_ After that she was gone.

Everyone was kind of annoyed, but there wasn’t much they could do. They couldn’t find a way inside. They were stuck outside where everything was still a bloody hell. There wasn’t really much they could do. But waiting around was kind of boring.

Allura sighed a little. “Okay, looks like we aren’t going anywhere anytime soon… If anyone wants to look around at anything, just don’t go too far, and keep an eye out for anything hostile, or Fewbar again…”

***

Hunk was a little nervous, but he kind of wanted to look around a little. Clear a perimeter to make sure that there were no more of those things out there. Shiro went with him and they ended up walking back towards the fountain. It was hard to look at it after Fewbar killed themselves.

“... Hey, Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

“I… This place is… It feels like we’re in hell. Do you believe in that kind of stuff?”

Shiro shook his head. “No. I’m an atheist. Things like heaven and hell or any kind of afterlife… I don’t believe in it. It just seems very weird to me… What about you?”

“Um, I was raised in a Christian household.” Said Hunk. “So um, I don’t think I am? But I… I just… If there is hell or something like that, I think this place might be it…”

“... Have you ever watched Event Horizon?”

Hunk shuddered. “Don’t remind me… We watched that movie back at the Garrison in Pidge’s room. Kind of put me off of space for a while. Also, the antigravity stuff kind of made me want to barf.”

Shiro nodded a little and looked around the fountain. The red goo was pretty much all gone now. Only a few remnants were left around the drains. It was pretty disturbing. They walked a little away from the fountain and found a large mural made of a shiny black stone. It was flat and had markings carved into it. There were a few indents here and there that looked like squares. Above the squares were small glass panels above the indents. A little further along the mural, on the ground, were dozens of small black boxes.

“What do you think this is?” Asked Shiro. “There’s no plaque or anything.”

“Yeah…” Hunk took the cube he picked up earlier and held it up to one of the indents. It kind of looked like it would fit in there. He frowned a little and very gingerly pressed it in. The glass panel above the indent lit up slightly and there was a slight crackling sound.

 _“Hello?”_ Asked a quiet voice. _“Is someone there? Where am I? I… I can’t see you… It’s so dark… Are you behind the square there?”_

Shiro and Hunk were a little surprised and gave each other concerned looks. Hunk cleared his throat and leaned a little closer to the glass panel. There was nothing but darkness behind the glass. “Hi?”

 _“Oh! There you are. You’re not Altean?”_ Asked the voice.

“Um, no. My name is Hunk. Who are you?”

 _“I’m Quiescis.”_ They said. _“I am a scientist and… Wait… This is the wall isn’t it? Are we at the wall?”_

“The big black wall with boxes and stuff? Yeah.”

 _“... Damn it. I lost the coin toss…”_ They muttered.

“Coin toss?”

Quiescis sighed. _“Look, this is hard to explain, but those boxes aren’t just boxes. Obviously. They are mental recordings. A snapshot and scan of someone’s brain. Basically a copy. When you make a copy it’s like splitting you in two. There is a 50/50 chance that you will stay in your body.”_

“So you’re a copy of yourself?”

 _“Kind of. To be fair, this technology was made to talk to people and answer questions for them. Kind of like an interactive library. We aren’t meant to retain our consciousness in this way but… There were a few glitches in the program that leaves some people more or less a copy of the original’s mind in digital form. A lost coin toss…”_ They sighed. _“Well, can you tell me if the convergence was successful?”_

“Convergence?” Questioned Hunk. “Look, I’m sorry but I really don’t know what is going on here. Me and my team came here because we heard things going on… Everything is really messed up. It’s all really bad.”

“Do you know someone called the Architect?” Asked Shiro.

 _“Oh there are two of you.”_ Said Quiescis. _“But yes, I know the Architect… They were the one that decided to speed the process up and…”_ They sighed quietly. _“I don’t know anymore… I’m just so tired of it all… I don’t know what my original body is doing anymore. Probably dead now. It has probably been many phoebs… I wish everything would all just end already…”_

Hunk frowned a little. “Are you okay Quiescis?”

_“Yeah, I’m fine… It’s just… Well, I know I am nothing more than a consciousness trapped in a box. When I’m removed from the wall I’ll just be waiting for someone to put me back in so I can just talk to them again… I don’t know anymore. It just seems… My existence is pointless, you know? Life is precious and you shouldn’t keep reliving things over and over again. It feels shallow and hollow. Like it doesn’t mean anything… And that’s not even mentioning what happens if someone manages to hack the memory data.”_

“What do you mean hack?” Asked Shiro.

 _“The mind isn’t that crazy.”_ They said. _“We have easily mapped out dozens of neurological pathways for different species. If someone got into those files they could easily delete memories or upload new ones. Are you really you anymore? Am I really me? … Can you unplug me now? I don’t want to be here anymore…”_

“Right, sorry.” Said Hunk as he looked for a way to remove the cube. “This won’t hurt will it?”

_“No, it will be like hitting pause.”_

“Okay.” Said Hunk quietly. “Um, before I unplug you, can you tell us what happened here? Anything at all? Null hasn’t told us much…”

 _“Not really. This cube was created when the whole station was still alive and thriving. So anything past that time I can’t talk about. I don’t know what happened here… But I do know Null._ They said. _“I worked with them as one of their lab techs. Null was working in cybernetics. All funded by the temple of course.”_

The two men looked at each other with concern. “What kind of cybernetics?” Asked Shiro.

_“It was kind of theoretical, but we were looking to see how far we could push the Altean form. How much could be taken away before we stripped away too much… The altered memory project was another thing that Null was looking into. I can’t give too much information on that but… Be careful around Null. From what I remember they were very… They want to make sure that their work always yields results, either positive or negative. They are always making experiments. Planning… I don’t know if the station has become twisted, but you probably shouldn’t trust anything that anyone says. I wouldn’t.”_

“Okay.” Said Shiro. “Thank you for your help Quiescis. We’ll unplug you now”

_“Thank you.”_

Hunk found a button and pressed it. The box popped out into his hands. The duo looked over at the other black boxes scattered around the monument. Each one was probably just like Quiescis. Consciousness trapped inside boxes waiting for someone to put them inside the monument just to talk to someone else. Their life on pause.

***

As that was happening, Keith and Lance headed in the opposite direction. Keith wanted to patrol the otherside of the building to Hunk and Shiro. Away from the fountain. They were thankful that they hadn’t found any monsters around just yet. They seemed to prefer to hide around under the station. In the dark. Not in the open.

“This place is so fucked up…” Muttered Keith.

“Sure is.” Said Lance. “We’ve all pretty much died at least once. Well, you and Allura haven’t kicked the bucket yet, but just give it time. You guys probably will.”

“Yeah… Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?”

“Dying… Did it hurt when you die?”

“Yes and no.” Said Lance. “Like, the first time I didn’t really feel it because I was in too much shock for it to set in. Then getting eaten alive… Well it helped that I was eaten face first. I think it all depends how you die. I’d rather it be quick and not slow. You know?”

“Yeah… I get it.” Keith frowned a little as he looked around at the walls of the grey concrete buildings. They both paused when they heard the sound of something walking towards them. They ducked into a hallway and peeked out just to wee two eremites walking down the street.

One of the eremites was a Galra. It looked like it had some kind of skin disease, like mange. Its large ears were ripped to shreds and the flesh on their cheeks had been ripped out completely. They had heavy scars all over their face and skull. In fact, most of their face looked like it was covered in scar tissue. 

The other one wasn’t Galra, but some kind of humanoid. They had thick, dirty bandages wrapped all around their skull, only exposing their mouth, which was forced into a grotesque grimace with a series of hooks in their lips. 

Lance and Keith didn’t really know what to do. They knew they should probably kill them, but they didn’t seem interested in them at the moment. The key being, at the moment. They shared a look and the paladin’s decided that they should probably kill these two eremites.

Keith nodded at Lance, and Lance took aim. He raised his gun knowing that he needed to shoot to kill. As soon as Lance put his finger on the trigger the Galra stopped walking and their ear twitched. It made Lance’s heart race as he saw the Galra turn their head towards him. Their face was so scared up he couldn’t see any eyes or really much of a nose, that’s how much scar tissue there was.

They growled and pulled some kind of clunky chunk of metal off their thigh. With a flick of their wrist a blade made of energy flicked out from it. The more humanoid one looking one had their own clunky piece of metal in their hands and was holding it like a gun. They shot at them, Lance dodging out of the way just in time. The bullet hit the wall by Lance’s head and exploded. The bullet seemed to be filled with some kind of acidic liquid. It was eating away rather rapidly at the concrete.

The eremites made strange sounds. Kind of sounded like they had their vocal chords had been clipped. It was a weird, gargling, wheezing sound. The Galra charged at them and Lance quickly shot at both the Galra and the humanoid. He clipped the Galra’s chest. He shot the humanoid’s shoulder.

This made the humanoid shoot the Galra in the back of the knee. They let out a cry of pain as the acid slowly ate through their leg. Their leg fell off in a grotesque puddle of pink, green and purple mush. The Galra then quickly turned on the other eremite and did their best to get to the other and rip them apart with their hands.

The humanoid let out a shriek and started to shoot at the Galra. They weren’t a very good shot and the acid bullets went flying. Keith quickly pulled Lance back into the street they had ducked into earlier for some kind of protection. Keith held Lance close to his chest as they continued to hide from the fight.

After what felt like forever it all went quiet. Lance was going to get up and take a look, but Keith held him back and shot him a dirty look. It was kind of shocking to Lance, but he let him do it. 

When they looked out the Galra eremite was nothing more than a pile of goo and rapidly melting body pieces. The humanoid had deep scratches all over their body and was missing most of the skin on his chest, exposing his ribs Some acid was splashed onto their arms and legs and were eating away at their flesh, but not as badly as getting a full hit from the acid bullet. They seemed to be making some sad and mournful noises as they seemed to actually be upset that they killed the other eremite.

After a few moments of this strange display of supposed mourning, they looked back over at Keith and Lance and shot at them. At the same time Lance shot at them and killed them on the spot by blowing a huge hole in their chest.

“Are you okay?” Asked Keith.

Lance nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. What about you?”

“...” 

“Keith?” He looked over at the red paladin and saw he slowly slump against the wall, doubled over slightly.

“...”

“Keith!” Lance turned Keith over and saw that Keith had been but with the acid bullet. It had got him in the side and looked like it was rapidly eating him away from the inside out. He had a terrified look in his eyes as a steady stream of blood was starting to run out of his nostrils and mouth. “Oh my god… Keith…”

“Y-you’re right…” Gargled Keith through the blood. “Dying slowly fucking sucks…” His eyes rolled into the back of his head as his body convulsed. The soft tissue in his abdomen suddenly gave way and their body split in half. Partially digested organs, blood, and acid spilled out everywhere. Lance jumped back in horror and watched for a few seconds before Keith’s body turned to red goo.

***

The checkpoint whirled to life as it looked through the DNA database _“Processing… Processing… Warning. Corrupt DNA. 22.4% chance of accurate DNA duplication. Continue? … Override accepted. Continuing biological reupload. Human, Galra hybrid. Corrupt DNA.”_ It whirled to life and slowly started to rebuild the most recently deceased with corrupt DNA.


	245. Sketch (X-men AU XXII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's getting ready for school to start up again, and Curtis is developing feelings... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

About a week before school started Allura came back along with a copy of Coran. Coran was very happy to pull himself back together and he took Allura to see Curtis. Within a few hours the man was out of the soundproof room and interacting with everyone else. However they were now wearing rather large looking headphones.

“So Curtis is going to be with us to get his highschool diploma.” Informed Allura over dinner when the other teachers had returned. Everyone was on board with him joining the school. Curtis himself was very embarrassed and kind of sunk into his chair while he was picking at his dinner.

Curtis, Keith, and Lance were sitting a bit away from the teachers since they were doing more school stuff while they were just kind of sitting around and eating their roast beef and vegetables.

“So… You’re like a super senior or something, right?” Asked Lance.

Curtis shrugged. “Yeah, I guess… I kind of never managed to graduate due to my mutation… But I’d kind of like to now, you know?”

“That’s fair.” Said Lance. “Where are you staying anyway?”

“I have a room in the teacher’s hall.” Said Curtis. “Adam and Shiro have been nice enough to soundproof it so I don’t have to wear these headphones all the time.” He gestured to the large headphone on his head. “These things cancel out most sounds, but Allura said that they can make some better ones.”

“That’s nice.”

Curtis smiled a little. “Yeah… I um… I’m sorry I threatened you before.”

“It’s fine man.” Said Lance. “Just concentrate on getting your highschool diploma. Yeah?”

“Thank you.” He said quietly and continued to eat.

Near the end of dinner Lance and Keith started to talk about movies they wanted to watch before everyone else started to come back to the school. They thought about playing games for a bit, but neither of them really wanted to because they both knew they might get overly competitive. Eventually they finished eating and went to put their dishes away. 

Curtis finished at the same time as them, and Lance decided to invite him too. Sure, he was a few years older than them, but he felt that they needed to try and make him feel included after his very rocky start. “So, you want to come back to my room?” Asked Lance. “Keith and I were gonna watch some movies.”

Curtis shook his head. “No thanks. I um, I’m going to talk to Shiro and Adam a little. Thank you anyway. Maybe next time?”

“Sure.” Lance and Keith started to make their way back to Lance’s room, talking about what movie they wanted to watch. Keith was tired of Disney, and wanted to watch some action. Maybe a thriller? Maybe a crime show or a documentary?

On the way out Allura caught up with them. “Lance, may I have a word with you? It will only take a moment.”

Lance shrugged and said he’d meet up with Keith in a bit. He walked with Allura down the hall towards the entrance way of the school. “What’s up?” He asked.

Allura looked at him for a moment before sighing. “Look, I didn’t mean to intrude on your thoughts, but sometimes my mind wanders a bit, and I have heard some… interesting things coming from your mind.” His face went bright red as his mind quickly went to very X-rated imagery. Allura’s face suddenly went bright red too. “No! Not that stuff! Not at all! Other things… Things about Keith’s parents.”

“... Right. Um… Yeah?”

She sighed a little. “Look, I know about Keith’s situation. I actually know about Krolia and Tex.”

“What?! How?” Lance was stunned. “Why doesn’t Keith know? Like, how?”

“Calm down a little.” She said calmly. “I know Kolivan. We have talked before and we have helped each other out for various reasons, but I know that Krolia is Keith’s mother. I know that Tex is his father. I have collected information on the both of them that I am planning on handing over to Keith once he graduates. I didn’t expect you to actually meet Kolivan and Krolia these holidays.”

Lance nodded a little. “So… Do you want me to stop talking to Tex?”

Allura shook her head. “No, it’s fine. You offered him an olive branch and at least let him know of Keith’s existence… Just please be cautious. Keith is a good man. Very good, but he is still troubled. If he doesn't take this well there will be some consequences that will not be pretty for anyone.”

“So… you’re not happy about what I’m doing?”

“No, I think you are doing a very kind thing. But you can’t push it. Forcing Keith into anything can be very damaging for him… He kind of has problems with authority.”

“Okay… Can I go back now?”

“Of course. Goodnight Lance. Take care.”

“Will do Allura.” Lance quickly headed back to his room to find Keith happily sitting on his bed, holding his pillow. “And what might you be doing?” He asked.

Keith shrugged and put it down. “Smelled kind of weird. You shouldn’t eat food in bed. Kind of smelled like strawberries…”

“Oh yeah, tipped some candy out onto it earlier today to see how much I had left.”

“Do you have any?”

“Yep.” Lance took the package out of his nightstand and tossed it at him. “Let me set up the movie, okay?” Keith happily munched on the candy while Lance went about setting up the movie. Keith wanted to watch a thriller, so they might as well watch Seven. That was a pretty good one.

They settled down shoulder to shoulder and Lance felt his heart rate pick up a little. He was a little nervous around Keith now. He really wanted Keith to know his family. Allura was going to give him everything she knew about them. Probably more information that he could dig up. He didn’t know if he should leave it be or not. He also wondered how Allura even met Kolivan and his group. They were mercenaries after all. Maybe she helped them control their powers? He didn’t know. He just wanted Keith to be happy.

***

Down in the common room, Curtis was quietly sketching away in the sketchbook that Adam provided him a few days earlier. When he was younger, Curtis liked to sketch. Sketching, drawing, painting, all that kind of stuff soothed him and used to help him block all the noises. It did work for a long time, but eventually it became impossible.

At the moment he was sketching Shiro’s wings. They were beautiful, powerful, strong, and alluring… just like the person those wings were attached to. Curtis had spoken to Shiro a few times when he was in the soundproof room. He complimented some of the paintings and he… Curtis would be crazy to say he wasn’t handsome as hell. 

Adam was also really handsome. Handsome, kind, and always really cool. Like literally. It was very soothing to him. Adam was always giving him things when it came to his art stuff and he appreciated it.

The only problem was that it was that they were together and Curtis was just a creepy stranger. It was so messed up. Neither of them would give a damn about him. He would get over this. It was a stupid crush. As long as he didn’t act on it then it didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to do something to hurt their relationship or risk Allura kicking him out for messing things up at the school. He had given her a second chance and he was going to take it.

“What are you drawing?” Asked Adam.

“Nothing much…” Said Curtis. “Just wings… I um… I like bird wings… Feathers are cool.”

“Do you want some feathers?” Asked Shiro. “I really should preen my wings soon. They kind of look a little messed up.”

“Yeah, a little tattered.” Agreed Adam. “When was the last time you decided to go for a flight?”

“A few weeks, I think?” He leaned forward a little and stretched his wings slightly. His wings were beautiful. 

Curtis wanted to reach out and touch them so badly. It made him feel so terrible. He needed to forget about them in that way. They were probably kind like this to everyone. He was not special. He shook his head and went back to a different sketch. One of Adam he had started earlier. It was of him when he touched the side of his glasses while he was reading. There was a hint of frost on them which looked really pretty. It was so bad crushing on people that were already in relationships.

The couch suddenly dipped next to him and Adam was sitting by him, looking over his shoulder. “What are you drawing?”

“J-just stuff…” He stuttered.

“Can we have a look?” Asked Adam.

Curtis felt very reluctant to let Adam look through his sketches, but Shiro moved to sit on his otherside. He seemed like he wanted to have a look too. “Sure…”

Adam smiled and flicked through the book. “You sure do like bird wings, huh? You should get Shiro to model for you at some point.”

“Oh? Really?” Curtis looked over at Shiro kind of nervously. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all.” Shiro smiled at him. “Sounds like fun to me. I wouldn’t mind. I’ve had people take photos of me for art class and what not. It’s fine.” He stretched out one of his wings for a bit for Curtis to take a good look at. Shiro frowned slightly and plucked out a feather, passing it to him. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Curtis took the feather and tucked it into his sketchbook. He felt completely embarrassed about this whole thing. He still didn’t want to feel this way about Shiro and Adam. It really kind of messed with his head a little. He needed more time to process his own feelings towards the men. “I um… I think I’ll just go to my room now… Do some painting before I go to bed…” Adam and Shiro moved away slightly and Curtis quickly got up. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

“Goodnight Curtis.”

He quickly headed back to his room and closed the door. With a heavy sigh, Curtis lied down on his bed. Adam and Shiro were hot, but off limits. He had to focus on getting an actual education rather than trying to sleep with the teachers. Fuck, they were technically his teachers. That made him blush.

With a groan, Curtis pulled his pillow over his face and angrily screamed into it. He was so annoyed with everything, including and most of all, himself. Study first, hot people later...

***

By the end of their movie, Keith was sprawled out over the bed, with his tail periodically slapping Lance in the face. Lance did find it mildly annoying, but he was happy that Keith seemed content. He was rolling some strawberry candy around in his mouth. It clacked against his teeth.

“Do you want to watch another movie?” Asked Lance.

“Hmm, not really. I just feel kind of tired.” Said Keith. “I think I might just head to my room.”

“Okay. Cool… Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“I really liked spending the holidays with you.” He said honestly. “Despite some of the stuff that might have happened I’m happy.”

Keith didn’t look like he believed him. “You’re joking, right?”

“No I’m serious.” Said Lance. “I had a lot of fun and I… I wouldn’t mind still staying with you over the next few holidays.”

“... Yeah?”

“Yeah. Really.” Lance smiled at him and pushed Keith’s tail out of his face. “Apart from the obvious, did you have fun spending the holidays with me?”

Keith paused for a moment before he smiled slightly and nodded. “Yes. I did. Thank you.” He got off of Lance’s bed and headed back to his room. It was a nice evening, and hopefully they could do this kind of thing a lot more in the future.


	246. Chocolate lovers (Modern fantasy AU XXXII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance tries to teach his clients about chocolate. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith happily looked himself over in the mirror. His body was almost back to how it was before. His love handles were gone and there was definition in his muscles again. He actually looked like an elf again and not an elf shaped marshmallow. He jumped on the scales and checked to see if he was close to going home. He was a few pounds away.

He grinned and happily walked out to see Keith. He was sitting round his table trying to teach Shiro and Allura about chocolate. Which was the most absolutely delicious food in the world. Apart from fries of course. Fries were top tier perfection.

“And that is why dark chocolate is better for you to eat than milk or white chocolate.” Said Lance.

Shiro nodded and frowned a little. “So dark chocolate is better because it has less sugar?”

“Yes, and more cocoa.” Siad Lance.

Allura nodded in agreement. “Cocoa is quite lovely. I believe in this world it was either the Aztecs or the Incas that first made use of it?”

“Um, I’m pretty sure it was the Mayans that first made chocolate.” Said Lance. “They made chocolate drinks for celebrations and used as currency. It was apparently thick and frothy. Often combined with chili peppers, honey, or water. In Aztec culture the cocoa bean was considered more valuable than gold.”

“Why are you talking about chocolate?” Asked Keith.

“Valentine’s day is coming up.” Said Lance. “So there’s going to be more and more ads about chocolate and candy popping up on TV, so I thought it might be a good idea to start pushing healthier candy options onto my clients. Anyway, the best kind of dark chocolate you can get is anywhere between 80-85% cocoa. It is rather bitter, but it isn’t unbearably bitter… You can get darker chocolate, but I personally find that really bitter…”

“Chocolate liquor tastes nice…” Muttered Shiro.

“You still need to drink in moderation Shiro.” Said Lance.

Allura hummed a little as she sipped some water. “Is chocolate better if it is made with honey or sugar?”

“Well honey and sugar cane are all natural products anyway so… I guess it’s all about quantity?” Said Lance.

Keith frowned a little and sat next to Lance. “Hey Lance? What is better? Fat from sweet food or savoury food?”

Lance paused for a moment as he thought about this. “Well… If I had to pick one… I’d say getting fat from sugar is worse than getting fat from animal fats… Mostly because sugar can be highly addictive and can also rot your teeth and cause a lot of other health issues. Naturally getting fat from other foods is bad too, but I’ve found sugar addictions are harder to break… That reminds me I need to get Acxa and Zethrid on a high fat diet...”

“Why?” Asked Keith.

“Well you said you need to be the same weight going through the gate from your world to our world.” Said Lance. “They lost a lot of weight looking for Ezor, so now they can’t get back. I’m thinking of getting them to put on some more muscles to bulk up that way, or maybe getting them to eat a few more snacks… I just don’t want them to get addicted to food…”

“Speaking of addictions-” said Shiro. “- you look really good Keith. Are you back to your original weight yet?”

Keith smiled a little and looked down at himself, patting his stomach. “Yeah, I’m close to being able to head back home. Hey, I might even be able to go home by the end of the week?”

Lance grinned and patted him on the back. “That’s awesome man! I’m so excited for you. Good job.”

“Thanks. I really couldn’t have done this without you.”

When Keith said that, Lance became slightly flustered and he looked away from Keith. “Oh, I um… It’s nothing. Really… Just doing my job… So, you’ll be going back to the other world?” He sounded slightly disappointed? Which was odd to Keith. He would have thought that Lance would have been happy for him.

“Yeah. I need to meet up with my group and tell them where I went and where Krolia is.” Said Keith. “But what is Valentine’s day anyway? Some kind of human holiday?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Saint Valentine is a saint from the human religion Christianity, specifically Catholicism. He’s associated with love and we celebrate all things love on the day of his death by buying romantic partners or love interests gifts like flowers and chocolates. Which is why I’m trying to stop my clients from having too many chocolates.”

Allura sighed wistfully as she stared off into the distance. A holiday celebrating love… Sounds so beautiful. Do any of you have a lover?”

Shiro smiled. “Yeah. I have my husbands back home.”

“Husbands?” Questioned Lance.

Shiro nodded. “That’s right. I have two husbands. Adam, who is a mountain giant, and Curtis who is a daityas… They are probably going to beat my ass when I get home…”

“So they are all titans?” Asked Lance. “Don’t you fight them like you do with Sendak?”

“Well yeah, but it’s more playful roughhousing before…” Shiro went a little red and awkwardly coughed. “Anyway, the point is when I eventually get back home they are probably going to throw me into the nearest lake…”

“I wonder if they can skip you like a stone?” Mused Keith.

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Quiet you. At least I have a romantic partner. Heck, I have two. Who do you have Keith?”

“No one.” Said Keith calmly. “My only love is potatoes.”

Lance sighed dramatically. “Of course you only love potatoes. Allura, do you have a lover in the other world?”

Allura though for a moment as she drank some more water. “Um… Not really. My species doesn’t really reproduce the same way other beings do. Our reproduction is a lot more like plants than animals. Like most plants I am both male and female. When the weather is right I will release pollen into the air and if I am likely I might be pollinated and produce seeds.”

“Can you fall in love?” Asked Shiro.

“Of course I can.” Said Allura. “It is just a little different from the kind of love other people from our world might have. I have developed crushes on many people. Mostly druids and adventurers that dared walk through my forest… It was interesting, but I was a small sprout at the time, hardly a sapling. My species can take hundreds of years to mature. So I was quite young at the time.” She looked over at Lance. “What about you Lance? Do you have a lover to celebrate Valentine’s day with?”

Lance shook his head. “No. I’m not seeing anyone right now. I’m doing way too much work to go out and see anyone. Plus I have two elves living with me… and there is some stigma around people like me…”

“What kind of stigma?” Asked Keith.

Lance looked slightly embarrassed. “Well… I like more… plump individuals… fatter people.” He muttered. “Some people think you’re horrible for doing that and some people think you’re just doing it for a dare or a joke… Some of my past partners broke up with me because they felt like they weren’t good enough for me, thought I was going to force them to change because of my job, or thought I was just dating them on a dear… It sucked.”

Keith gave him a sympathetic look. “Humans are really wrapped up about their appearances, huh?”

“... Don’t you guys care about appearances?”

Shiro shrugged. “Looks are nice, but strength is a huge factor for us titan races. If you can’t match me in a fight then you aren’t worth my time.”

“I’m more about looks.” Admitted Allura. “Since I use pollen to reproduce all I really care about is looks followed by personality.”

“Hunting prowess is big for me.” Said Keith. “But personality and looks are nice too. I just want someone that can hunt, gather, and all that kind of stuff. Someone that knows how to take care of themselves and others… Anyway, I’m gonna go and watch TV. Later.” Keith got up and headed to the lounge room to watch TV.

***

Later that week at breakfast; Lance, Keith, and Krolia were sitting around the table eating breakfast, when Lance cleared his throat. “So, today is Valentine’s day. It’s a human holiday where people give those they love chocolate and flowers. So… here.” Lance went to the fridge and took out two chocolate bars. “Here. Happy Valentine’s day.”

The elves were a little surprised. Krolia looked at the bar and poked it with her spoon. “Is this a test?”

“What? No.” Lance sighed a little. “Okay, so I like the two of you. You’re both doing really well and Valentine’s day, while technically a romantic holiday, is also one that can be celebrated with friends. So, enjoy this chocolate today. It’s 70% dark chocolate.”

“I thought that 80-85% was better for you?” Questioned Keith.

“Well yeah, but a lot of people don’t like it that dark. It’s okay. Consider today a cheat day.” Lance went about packing some extra chocolate bars into his lunch that day to give out to some of his clients from the other world. “Well, enjoy your treats. Keith, we’re weighing in tomorrow, so don’t eat too much. I’ll be back later.”

Before he left he heard Krolia saying to Keith; “Do you think there is more of this in the fridge?”

***

When Lance got back after work he couldn’t help but let out an annoyed sigh. Both Krolia and Keith seemed to have veged out in the lounge room and eaten any chocolate they could have found. They seemed to have taken cheat day to the extreme.

“And I think you just blew your diet…” Lance muttered. Neither elf seemed to care as they were in a chocolate filled coma.


	247. Home visit (highschool AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance finally figures out that maybe, just maybe, Keith is just a clumsy insomniac... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Having friends was very weird to Keith, but he was happy that this was happening. Though he did wish it wasn’t so close to the end of school. In the end he knew that when they all graduated his new friends would drift apart. He sighed a little as he rested his head against the cool glass of the bus window.

The cold glass was kind of nice against his head. He had been developing a dull headache ever since lunch. He sighed a few times as he rubbed his eyes. He was starting to see shapes darting out from every direction. It was annoying, but there wasn’t much he could do, besides sleep. Sleep always worked when he was like this.

He eventually got off at his stop and wandered back home. When he got home he happened to watch Shiro practicing picking up a few different things. He was trying to pick up a spoon with limited success. 

“Oh hey Keith. How was school?”

Keith shrugged. “Okay I guess. All things considered… How was your day?”

“Spent most of it practicing picking things up.” He said. “It’s kind of a challenge…”

“I can imagine so. Do you um, what to go for a walk later tonight? You and me?” He asked kind of hopefully.

“Hmm? Oh sure. Do you have any homework?”

“Just some math’s stuff.” Said Keith. “It’ll be done in a few minutes. Half an hour at most.”

“Okay. I’ll be waiting.”

Keith smiled a little and headed to his room. He quickly changed out of his uniform and into more comfortable clothing. It felt nice just wearing something light and airy compared to his stuffy school uniform. He flopped down onto his bed and almost immediately closed his eyes and fell asleep, but he managed to jerk himself awake. He quickly slapped himself in the face and willed the shadows out from the corner of his eyes.

He walked back out and smiled at his brother, who was putting his shoes on. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah. Ready to go.”

The two of them headed out and went for a walk around the block. It was pretty calm most of the time, though Keith was yawning heavily as they did so. They talked a bit about what was happening with their lives. Shiro was very interested in hearing Keith talk about his new friends.

“Hey, why don’t you invite them over on the weekend?” He suggested. “Adam and I are going to be in and out of the house all day and you start work again on Monday, right?”

“Well I guess… I don’t know if we are that close yet… Besides, why would they want to come over?”

“That’s what friends do, right?”

“Well I guess…” He didn’t think that any of them would want to come over to his house. Maybe Lance would, he seemed friendly enough, but he was still the weird kid. Lance probably had a really good reputation and he… He might not really like hanging around him. That thought really bugged him more than it should have.

But Shiro was smiling at him and looked so proud. “Sounds good. Adam and I can pick up some chips and drinks at the shops tomorrow. Some nice snack food. Find out what they like. And-” The loud chime of a bell made Shiro freeze and the colour drain for his face.

Keith quickly looked to the road where an ice cream truck was slowly trundling by. The ice cream man ran the bell a few more times before they turned on the ice cream jingle and stopped ringing it. Keith looked back at Shiro. He looked completely terrified and his gaze was somewhere far, far away.

“... Shit.” Keith wasn’t very sure what to do when Shiro was in this state. Sure he had read the theory, but he instantly forgot everything when he saw Shiro having a PTSD attack. “Um… Look at me for a second, Shiro. Can you hear me? Deep breaths in and out? Can you do that for me? Please?” He wasn’t sure if he was meant to touch him or not.”

After about a minutes of Shiro staying very still and breathing heavily, he closed his eyes and became extremely embarrassed. “Sorry… Sudden loud noise… Do they always ring a bell before they play the music?”

“Maybe. I don’t know… Let’s go home. Okay?”

“... Yeah. Sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry.” Keith gently patted his arm. Shiro couldn’t control this. Especially after getting back so soon. He was just happy that they could spend time with him.

***

The next day at the lunch table Lance was very happy. He managed to grab some extra pork and made a second pork sandwich. He mentioned it to Keith earlier and the boy’s face seemed to light up. So Lance was having a very, very happy day today.

Keith seemed a little more quiet than normal at the table. Eventually he spoke up. “So um… Do you guys what to come over to my house this weekend?” It was a strange question that surprised everyone at the table. 

“This weekend?” Asked Pidge. “I can’t. Going to gram-gram’s place.”

“My parents have me working at the bakery this weekend.” Said Hunk. “Sorry…”

Lance grinned. “Yeah. I can go.” Any chance to get out of the house for any amount of time was a blessing for him.

“Really?” Keith seemed surprised. Like he didn’t think anyone would actually want to come over.

Lance just nodded and grinned. “Yeah. Want me to bring something? Something to drink? Some snacks?”

“I-I’ve got it covered if it’s just the two of us…” Said Keith quietly. He still seemed very shocked that someone actually wanted to come over to his house. 

Deciding this was the perfect opportunity, Lance took out his phone. “Let’s trade numbers so you can text me your address. Yeah?”

“Oh, okay…”

The two of them traded numbers and eventually they left for class. Keith had class in a different building while the rest were in the same. Lance grinned and looked down at his phone. Keith had sent him his address already and he had butterflies in his stomach. Though he did kind of feel bad for hoping that Keith would start sending him abusive texts or unsolicited dick pics.

“Are you okay there?” Asked Pidge. “You look like you just won the lottery.”

“Damn right I did. I’m going over to Keith’s house.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Asked Hunk. “Like, Keith does seem like a good guy and all but… He’s still kind of… Something seems a little off about him… I know that’s a horrible thing to say and I feel bad about it but…”

“If you get stabbed it’s your own fault.” Said Pidge.

Lance sighed wistfully. “... I wish he would stab me.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you would, wouldn’t you? Just text us when you get there and when you leave. Okay?”

“Yeah, fine.”

***

Eventually the weekend came around and Lance walked down the street to Keith’s house. He eventually found it. It was a nice little place. Single story, well manicured lawn, simple chain link fence and some cute little leaf themed wind chime hanging near the door. Lance wasn’t sure if this was Keith’s place, but it was the address.

Lance knocked on the door and waited. A few moments later the man Lance saw Keith with weeks ago opened the door. He looked at Lance and smiled a little. “Lance, right?”

“Um yeah… Is Keith in?”

“Yeah, he’s just helping Shiro at the moment. Come on in.” He stepped aside and gestured for Lance to come in. “I’m Adam by the way. Leave your shoes at the door.”

“Oh, okay.” Lance did as he was told and followed Adam into the lounge room. From the lounge room he could see Keith talking to a man that was missing an arm. They were putting stuff away in the cupboards. This was probably Shiro.

Shiro saw Lance and said something to Keith. Keith looked over at him and quickly went over. He was wearing ripped skinny genes and a band shirt. His hair was also tied back in a low ponytail. He looked so fucking hot.

“Hey. Um, glad you could make it.” Said Keith quietly.

“Glad I could make it too.”

After a few minutes Shiro and Adam left the house, leaving the two boys alone. They sat on the couch and ate some chips while just talking. Keith was surprisingly quiet still, even when he was in his own home. He seemed kind of awkward and kind of like he was spacing out. Maybe Keith was just kind of spacy?

“Hey, you okay?”

“Hmm? Yeah. Just kind of tired.” Said Keith. “Shiro he… He has night terrors sometimes. Last night was a pretty bad one. We were all up longer than we probably should have been. Not his fault though.”

“Oh, that’s rough.”

Keith shrugged. “It’s whatever. Shiro’s getting help, so it’s not a big deal… Want a drink?”

“Yeah, sure.” The two of them went to the kitchen and looked inside the fridge. Lance grabbed some lemonade and Keith got a creaming soda. As Lance cracked his open, he noticed a bird two bird feeders outside. “Bird feeders?”

Keith frowned a little and looked outside. “Oh yeah. The one with the seeds is greased down the bottom to stop the squirrels from climbing up and eating them. The red one is a hummingbird feeder… Actually, I should probably check and see if there is enough sugar water in there…” Keith took a small jug with a flower on it out of the fridge and swirled the liquid inside around a few times.

Lance followed Keith outside and watched him refill it. “Why do you have two feeders?”

“Adam and Shiro like birds.” Said Keith. “Shiro bought this hummingbird feeder a few years ago before he was deployed. I don’t think we ever had any hummingbirds come by. Lots of bees though. They do love the sugar and I like helping the bees out.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why? You don’t like bees?”

“No, you just don’t seem like a bee person...”

Keith shrugged. “I like animals in general. They are nice, but no one’s really in the house long enough to justify keeping one… When I move out I’m going to get a dog… Do you have any pets?”

“Yeah, a fat cat called Luna that sleeps on her back and farts all day.” Said Lance. “She mostly stays in the lounge room, so it’s whatever.”

Keith nodded a little. “I found a cat out here once. It looked like it had gotten into a fight.”

“Oh shit. What happened?” Okay, Lance was very into a violent and abusive Keith, but if that aggression was taken out on animals, Lance was going to flip out.

“Yeah, took them to the vet. I wanted to keep them, but they were microchipped and they were given back to their owners. Still miss them.”

“Oh okay.” That was a huge relief. “So you like animals?”

“Yeah, they are really sweet… Anyway, want to watch a movie?”

“Sure.”

They walked back inside and drank their sodas and ate chips while watching a movie. Keith let Lance choose and they ended up watching some random kids movie. Keith didn’t seem to have watched it before and was actually interested in it. Which was kind of odd. It was just some old disney movie.

In fact, Keith was pretty weird all around. He seemed like some dark, broody, standoffish kind of guy at school. But getting to know him, Keith just seemed like a quiet, antisocial young man. He genuinely seemed to love his small family and he was nice to animals. Always a good thing. But maybe he wasn’t actually a bully?

“...” That was kind of true. Keith wasn’t a bully. Keith was just a very quiet antisocial kid that only gave off the impression of being a total badass? But why was he always injured? Why was he always covered in cuts, scrapes, and bruises? Why? He didn’t get it. Lance just couldn’t piece things together.

Suddenly, Keith fell forward and smacked his face on the coffee table. Rather loudly too. He made a really loud thunk before he bounced off it and hit the carpet. Keith looked very shocked that this happened. Heck, Lance was shocked that this happened.

“Oh crap! Are you okay?!” Asked Lance. “What happened?”

“...” Keith went bright red and quickly got back onto the couch. “I um… I have really bad insomnia… I sometimes, I just kind of turn off… To be fair this isn’t the worst place my brain has suddenly turned off so…”

“... You just face planted a table. How long has this been going on for?” He asked.

Keith shrugged. “Years. It’s okay though, I’m used to it… Am I bleeding?”

“No?”

“... I’m going to check anyway…” Keith walked to the bathroom to check his face.

Lance sat back on the couch as he thought back on what he just said. Was his insomnia that bad? Did he just fall asleep and smack himself into random walls and floors? Lance looked around the room and actually noticed some small dings and chips in the wall. And if he looked down at the coffee table it was round, with no corners or edges. In fact, a lot of the furniture had no edges at all.

Keith wasn’t a bully at all. He was just an awkward teenager with a sleeping problem. “Fuck…”

***

Keith quickly put a bandage on his forehead and came back out. He was completely red faced with embarrassment. Lance was going to think he was weird. Keith drank all the coffee and all the energy drinks to make sure he was awake. But he fell asleep and had to admit his condition to Lance.

He was really, really embarrassed. Lance probably thought he was really, really weird. Insomnia as bad as his wasn’t normal. This probably just solidified his reputation as the weird kid in school.

Keith splashed his face a few times and went back out. He nervously sat back on the couch and didn’t make eye contact with Lance. He didn’t know if Lance was going to say anything to him, and he kind of hoped he wouldn’t. But he felt that Lance was going to ask.

“So…” Said Lance. “Want to watch another movie?”

“... Yes please… You choose.” This felt so awkward, but Keith was relieved that Lance wasn’t pointing out he was a bit of a freak. That’s what friends did, right? They were nice to you and overlooked these kinds of things? It was kind of nice. Keith was glad that he finally made friends with Lance.


	248. Swamp (AtLA AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they made it to the swamp! Kudos and comment when you can! Enjoy :D

After about a day and a half of flying the team made it back to the mainland. They then went from village to village selling waers from Hunk’s crates. While that happened Keith and Shiro would do some meditating and bending training. Pidge would continue to try and metalbend. Lance would go between helping Hunk with some waterbending stuff and looking after the animals.

Kuro continued to be a lazy fuck and had resting bitch face. He didn’t seem to like being in a new village that much, but there wasn't anything Lance could do about that. He just sighed and went about doing his own thing.

Traveling was pretty smooth, until they ended up stopping right at the edge of Si Wong Desert. They ended up landing in the sand and the group looked at the map again. Then the blame game started.

“How did we get here?” Asked Lance.

Pidge looked at Shiro. “Well he was the one driving…”

“Why are you blaming me?” Asked Shiro. “Hunk was navigating.”

“Hey, my navigation skills are on point.” Whined Hunk.

“I agree with Pidge.” Said Keith. “Blame Shiro.”

“Hey!”

The group continued to bicker for a bit and Kuro literally ate sand. The verbal argument happened for about an hour before the group managed to figure out where they were on the map. They weren’t too far off from where they wanted to be, and were on their way.

They traveled through the night and one by one everyone fell asleep. First Hunk, then Pidge, Shiro fell asleep too, then Keith. Lance stayed up later than the others. It was a clear night and a full moon. 

As a Waterbender he was connected to the moon. He had told the others about it well enough that it might have become annoying. It probably was. Lance couldn’t help it. He was a very spiritual man and the moon was more than just the spirit that taught waterbenders to bend water, or his connection to his ancestor, it was his connection to his family and waterbenders in general.

He didn’t feel so alone when he was looking at it. Maybe Allura was looking at the moon too? Maybe they were looking at it at the same time? Maybe… He hoped so. He should send her a letter soon. Let her know that he’s still alive and not dead somewhere. That would be good.

He reached out and moved his hand so most of it was covering the moon. Lance sighed a little louder than he probably would have normally.

“You still awake?” Asked Keith quietly.

“Did I wake you?” Asked Lance as he looked over at the firebender. Keith was looking over at him. He looked a little sleepy, but he was awake. “Sorry man.”

‘I’m fine.” He muttered. “But what are you doing?”

“Waterbender stuff.” Said Lance. “I miss my tribe…”

“Yeah, what’s going to happen when you go back anyway?”

Lance shrugged. “I guess settle down and have some kids? I think my parents are going to arrange a marriage for me.”

“People still do that?”

“It’s more common with royalty and stuff like that… And since my family is pretty high up there, it’s kind of expected I’ll either find someone soon, or they will choose for me.”

“And you’re good with that?”

Lance shrugged. “I guess? I mean, I don’t really think that it really matters too much. Like, as long as we get along and have a few kids then it’s all good, right? Besides, love isn’t just something that happens. I mean, it does, but you have to work on it to keep it.”

Keith gave him a confused look. “You’re really good with that?”

“Hmm? Why would you say that?”

“I just find it weird that you’re okay with people choosing that kind of stuff for you.”

“It is what it is. It’s not really that big of a deal.”

“If that’s true, then why are you here and not still in the watertribe?”

“...”

“Yeah. Thought as much.” Keith rolled onto his side facing away from Lance. “Night Lance.”

“Night Keith…” Lance stared up at the moon for a bit longer before he eventually fell asleep.

***

A few days later the group landed out on the edge of the swamp. It was really big and swampy. Kind of the reason it was called a swamp. No one was really sure how to get into said swamp though. Kuro couldn’t really fly through the closely packed trees. Not that the bison seemed to mind. He decided he wanted to sleep on the ground instead.

“I guess we are walking from here?” Said Pidge.

“We could still fly.” Said Shiro. “It just might be a little slow going…”

“It’s fine.” Said Hunk. “I have a good idea on where we need to go. But if we want to take Kuro, then we can fly along the river. It’ll be pretty easy. We might find someone from the foggy swamp tribe? They get around using the rivers anyway.”

The group agreed and Kuro very reluctantly flew down a river. They kept relatively low to the water. Lance grinned and looked over the edge to see the fish in the water. Everyone else did the same as Shiro and Hunk took to navigating.

“This place is so cool.” Said Lance. “Everything looks and sounds so weird. Love it.”

Pidge chuckled a little. “Yeah, I keep forgetting you’ve probably never seen a frog before.”

“Nope. Not even one.”

“Well you don’t see that every day!” Called out a surprised voice. The group looked to their right to see a dark skinned man wearing green, leafy looking clothing. He was even wearing a large leaf as a hat. He was sitting on a skiff and resting the pole on his lap. “What are you folks doing here?”

Hunk looked down at them and waved. “Oh hey! Curtis!”

Curtis saw Hunk and grinned. “Hunk! You’re back! Good to see you. Give me one second…” He carefully stood up in his boat and with some strong arm movements the skiff he was in rose up in the water so he was face to face with everyone on Kuron.

Lance’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Holy crow! You’re a waterbender too!”

Curtis seemed surprised. “Too? Does that mean you’re a water bender?”

“Heck yeah! Waterbender from the Northern Watertribe!” Lance popped the cork off his waterskin and quickly drew out the water from it, forming it into a ball.

Curtis grinned and threw his arms open wide. “Then we are kin! Nice to meet you all! I’m Curtis. I’m from the Foggy Swamp Tribe.”

Hunk smiled and happily introduced everyone. “This is Shiro, he’s an airbender. Pidge is an earthbender and a Kyoshi warrior. Keith is a firebender, and he mentioned, Lance is a waterbender. Also, this is Rover, Blue, and Kuro.”

“Nice to meet you. Want a guide back to the tribe?” He asked.

“That would be nice.” Said Hunk. “Thanks.”

“Think nothing of it. We love seeing what stuff you bring from around the world.” With Curtis as their guide, the group made it to the tribe’s village rather quickly. Everyone seemed very surprised to see a flying bison, and some rightfully mistook Kuro as the legendary Avatar’s own flying bison, Appa. Thankfully this misunderstanding was quickly cleared up and once again Hunk was able to quickly set things up and sell his wares with the tribe. Mostly trading food and interesting jewelry with the villagers.

“Hunk’s really in his element here, huh?” Said Pidge.

Shiro shrugged. “Well it’s nice that Hunk knows a lot of people. We probably would have been still trying to find the village if Curtis didn’t happen to be passing by.”

As if summoned by his words, Curtis was right by them, grinning. “So, you guys have traveled pretty far huh?”

Pidge shrugged. “I think Shiro’s traveled the most out of all of us, next to Hunk that is.”

Curtis nodded and smiled warmly at Shiro. “You must have a lot of interesting stories. Come by the fire and tell a few? I’ll introduce you to the elders. It’ll be fun.” Before Shiro could say anything, Curtis had dragged him away.

“Is he going to be okay?” Asked Lance.

Keith shrugged. “Shiro getting dragged off by a good looking guy? He’s fine.”

Lance sighed. “Well that’s a-” 

He ended up almost getting tackled by some random villager. “LANCE!”

Lance screeched in shock and pushed the random tribesman off himself. When he saw who just grabbed him and froze. “Marco?!”

Grinning in front of Lance, was his older brother. The older man had left the Northern Watertribe to head to the Southern Watertribe. Lance was hoping to see Marco down there when they eventually got there. Seeing him dressed up as one of the villagers in pretty much just a loincloth and a leaf hat was quite a shock to his system.

“What the heck are you doing here?!”

Marco shrugged. “Decided to stop by the swamp and see how the village life is. I liked it here so I’m staying here indefinitely. Didn’t our parents tell you? I sent a letter.”

“Huh… Maybe they didn’t get it yet?”

“I sent it a while ago…” Marco shook his head. “Anyway, what’s with the rag-tag group of benders here? You going on an adventure or something?”

Pidge cleared her throat and started pointing. “Hunk wants to sell stuff, Keith wants inner peace, Lance wants to travel, I want to metalbend, and Shiro’s helping Keith find that inner peace crap.”

“That’s fair.”

“I also have a turtleduck…” Said Lance.

“You have a turtleduck? Show me!” Lance happily showed Marco, Blue. The second he tried to pat her, Blue pecked at his fingers. He instantly fell in love with the animal. “You guys have to stay for a few days.” He said. “It’ll be good to catch up. You have to tell me what’s happening. We’re going to start cooking soon. You guys like fish and insects right?” The trio had concerned looks at the mention of insects. However, none of them wanted to insult the villagers. They were stuck eating insects.


	249. House hunting (Shop AU VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Keith needs to look for a new place... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

That night Keith stayed at Shiro’s place with all his things boxed up and stuck in Shiro’s lounge room. Shiro’s place was really small with only a pull out mattress for Keith to crash on, but they both knew that this arrangement was temporary. Keith wanted his own bed, and Shiro had said he wanted to bring some of his dates over, for obvious reasons. So Keith had to start job hunting straight away. He quickly remembered why he was renting from that slum lord in the first place. 

Everything was so fucking expensive. Way too expensive. He’d have to look for an apartment an hour or two away from both of his current jobs to even find a place he could afford. He groaned in annoyance as he continued to scroll through his phone looking for places in between working at the garage and at the bookstore.

“Are you okay?” Asked Lance.

Keith looked up from his phone and saw Lance looking at him while holding a few pallets of unopened eyeshadow. “Yeah… Just figuring out where to live.” He muttered.

“Did something happen at your place?”

“Black mold.”

“... Seriously?” Asked Lance in shock. “Where are you living?”

“At the moment I’m living with Shiro, but I want to get out of there soon.”

“Why?”

“His place is small and I’m sleeping on the couch.”

“Ah… Yeah, that’s fair.” Lance thought for a moment. “Um… So you can’t find a place in your price range?”

“No place in my price range that’s close enough to work.”

“Oh… Um…” Lance looked nervous. Very nervous. Keith had no idea why though. “Um, if you like, I um… I kind of have a guest room… I-I mean if you want! You don’t have to if you don’t want to! I mean, we don’t really know each other that much and-”

“Yes.”

“- we you might not be comfortable staying with me and… wait, really?” Asked Lance in shock.

Keith nodded. “Yes. I just want to get out of Shiro’s place as soon as possible… Are you okay with that?”

Lance nodded, he looked very shocked that Keith had agreed to this, but smiled anyway. “Okay, that’s cool. Just give me a day or two to clean everything up… a-and you’ll need to move all your stuff and… um… Well, it will take a day or two.”

“I’m good with that.” Said Keith. “Give me your address?”

“Sure.” Lance quickly went to grab a piece of paper and a pen. He scribbled down his address and handed it over to him. Much to Keith’s delight it also had Lance’s phone number. “Just text me times when you can bring some of your stuff over the next few days.”

“No problem. You’re a real lifesaver Lance.”

“Why’s Lance a lifesaver?” Asked Shiro as he walked into the shop to start his shift.

“I’m moving into Lance’s place.” Said Keith.

Shiro grinned and patted Lance on the back. “Hey, thanks Lance. You’re a really great guy.”

Lance went bright red and nervously looked away from the two of them. “It’s nothing. Really. Just trying to help a friend out, you know?”

“It’s still nice.” Said Shiro. “We can drop some stuff off tomorrow? We can close up the bookshop a little earlier and drop some of the heavy stuff off after work.”

“O-okay. I don’t work tomorrow so that works well with me.” Said Lance. “W-will you both be coming over?”

“Are you okay with that?” Asked Shiro.

“Oh, it’s fine.” Said Lance quickly. “I was just wondering. That’s all.”

“That’s great.” Said Shiro. “Both Keith and I really appreciate it.”

***

When Lance got home that evening he went into panicked cleaning mode. He needed to make sure that the guest room was perfect and that he hid away anything that would change his easy going, laid back image. He just had to move a few books and magazines to his bedroom closet. He also moved a few boxes of different 5000 piece puzzles he had bought over the years, but never opened. Anything he deemed too smart or didn’t fit his image was quickly hidden away in his room.

By the time he was done he heard the buzzer go off. Since this place was so fancy there was also a little camera that turned on when someone wanted to come up. Kind of like one of those fancy doorbells. It was pretty nice.

Lance went over to his door and quickly looked to see Shiro kind of squinting at the camera and Keith standing a bit behind him with a box in hands. _“Hey, is this Lance?”_ Asked Shiro.

Lance chuckled a little. Shiro was so polite and it honestly made his heart swell with adoration or at least something similar. Yeah, he probably wasn’t going to not feel something for Shiro for a long time… Maybe he would come around a lot now that Keith was staying? That was actually pretty nice.

He quickly hit the buzzer. “Yeah, you got the right place. Is that all your boxes?”

_“Yeah, we have all the heavy stuff.”_

“Awesome. I’ll buzz you in.” Lance happily hit the button to let the men in and waited for them to knock. He didn’t have to wait long and let them in with a smile. “Hey guys. Come on in.”

The two walked in carrying a few boxes each. “Hey lance, where can we put these?” Asked Shiro.

Lance quickly showed them where the guest room was and put the boxes down. Being slightly curious as to what was in the boxes, Lance obviously asked what was in them. “Some car parts.” Answered Keith. “Just some stuff I’m trying to fix up for my motorbike… Um, is there a place I can park it?”

“Oh yeah, I can get that fixed up for you.” Said Lance. “Until then you might be able to get away with parking in front of my car. It’s a small car so it should be all good.”

“Cool.”

After they put Keith’s boxes down, Lance offered the two of them drinks and something to eat. If he was nothing else, Lance was a very good host. He already had a pitcher of tropical iced tea in the fridge and some vegan muffins Hunk gave him. They really should be eaten soon. The two men took his offerings and they talked a little about how things would work. Stuff like, when Lance was going to give him a key or a code to get into the building. How they were going to split bills. That kind of stuff.

It was pretty easily sorted. Lance quickly asked if Keith was allergic to anything. Things like food or certain chemical cleaners. His sister Rachel was very allergic to some types of laundry powder, and his mama had to find a hypoallergenic brand that wouldn’t make her break out in hives.

“I’m just lactose intolerant.” Said Keith. “I can buy my own almond milk, so you don’t need to worry too much about that. Apart from that I’m not allergic to anything. At least as far as I know.”

“Oh, that’s good. Lots of the stuff I use here are for people with sensitive skin, so you don’t need to worry about that stuff.” Said Lance. “Also, laundry day is usually Saturday, but if you need something done earlier then that’s cool. I’ll get you a laundry basket tomorrow…”

“Thanks…”

“Your apartment is really nice.” Said Shiro. “Has a really nice minimalist style.” 

“Thank you.” Said Lance quickly. “I um, I really wanted to keep things minimal with a bit of a bohemian vibe. I kind of wanted to collect little souvenirs and photos and use those to make up most of the decorations in my place. Like, show off my good memories and stuff… I haven’t been here very long.”

“That’s a really nice idea.” Said Shiro. He nudged Keith and smiled. “Maybe you should consider doing the same? Maybe you can finally learn how to use the camera on your phone.” He teased.

Keith rolled his eyes and smirked at the other man. “Says the man that can’t facetime.”

They continued to talk a little longer until Shiro decided it was getting late and they should get home. Lance showed them the door and they left… They left and Lance’s face felt like it was on fire. Shiro had been in his house. Shiro was just so… He was perfect. 

***

Keith was excited to be moving in with Lance. It didn’t go unnoticed by Shiro, who happily teased him about it the whole way home. “Aw, you don’t like spending time with me anymore?”

“Hey, I know how thin the walls in your house are pretty thin.” 

“Rude… Anyway, I can’t believe how nice Lance’s place is. You better not do something to upset him and he kicks you out.”

“I won’t. Don’t worry. I don’t want to have to come back to your place. Your couch isn’t comfortable to sleep on.”

“I’ve had it since I first moved in, and it was second hand.” Said Shiro. “But yeah, I get your point. I should get a new couch soon… I’d probably feel better about bringing dates over…”

“Yeah, how is that going anyway?” From what Keith could tell, Shiro’s dating life was going pretty well. He had been talking on the phone for at least an hour each night to two of the people he dated. He didn’t know too much about them, past from what Shiro had mentioned. They seemed okay. “Have you decided if you’re going steady with one of them or is it still up in the air?”

Shiro thought for a moment. “Well… I think we’re still going casual for the most part but if I had to choose… Um… I can’t… Sorry.”

“They both know you aren’t going steady with any of them, right?”

“Of course. We all know it’s a casual thing.” Said Shiro. In fact, Adam and Curtis know each other.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I think I might be polyamerous… Is that weird?”

Keith shrugged. “Hey, polyamory is present in the animal kingdom and well, as long as it isn’t against social morals and taboos, like cannibalism and incest, go ahead. As long as they agree to the polyamory too.”

“Of course.” Said Shiro. “Otherwise that’s just cheating. Plus the two of them seem to just want to do casual stuff anyway. I’m cool with that.”

“That’s good.” Keith looked out the window and sighed in relief. He wondered what living with Lance would be like. Probably not anything worse than his previous living situations.

“So, what about you and your love life?” Asked Shiro.

“Non existent at the moment.” Said Keith. “But there is someone…”

“Oh? Who? Someone I know?”

Keith rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, someone you know… I’m kind of crushing on Lance.”

“Really? Why?” Asked Shiro. “Not like I don’t think he’s a good guy and all, but you don’t usually go after guys like him. Bubbly, loud, outgoing, extroverted… Kind of empty...”

Keith shrugged. “Okay, I was attracted to his looks to start with. Like, come on, he is very, very cute… But I started talking to him and well, there seems like there is something more behind it all…”

Shiro shrugged. “Okay. You do that, but don’t do anything to make Lance kick you out. You’ll have to move really far away if you do, unless your boss at the garage lets you sleep on his couch or something.”

The younger male shrugged. He wasn’t going to try anything unless he really felt like he had a shot with Lance. He also wanted to know what was behind those pretty blue eyes. Lance was so different. So unlike the people he had dated before that he just had to date him, or at least try to. Things were going to be interesting.


	250. Null (Hellpoint AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly an info dump this chapter, but you get to meet Null in the... flesh... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Allura and Pidge were still waiting for the boys to come back. They had heard a little commotion from where Keith and Lance had walked off, but they figured that they could handle themselves. They were still on guard anyway. Hunk and Shiro came back first. They told Allura and Pidge about the wall. Soon after Lance walked back alone. All he said was; “Ermites got Keith.”

That sentence worried the group and they waited. They waited for about five minutes before Keith came back. He came into view and he looked relatively normal, but when he got close he was definitely off. First of all, his black hair had a slight purple tinge to it and he had claws sticking through the tips of his gloves. His teeth were also too big for his mouth. Fangs jutting out of his mouth and cutting into his lips. He couldn’t close his mouth.

“A-are you okay?” Asked Shiro. “What happened?”

Keith didn’t answer. He just walked over to Pidge and got her to point her bayard right at his mouth. Before anyone could ask what he was doing, he squeezed her hand and made the grapple shoot him right in the mouth. There was a sickening crack as Keith’s head violently recoiled.

When he regained his composure he spat out a few teeth onto the floor. Some looked human, and some looked more alien and Galra. “Fuck.” He hissed. “Okay, I can talk now… Too many fucking teeth…”

“What the fuck happened?” Asked Pidge.

“The checkpoint said my DNA was corrupted. I came out like this. It fucking sucks.” Keith grumbled. “I fucking hate being half Galra…” He looked over at Lance. “Are you okay? It was a pretty gory way to see someone go.”

“I’m fine.” Said Lance quickly. “Glad you feel okay there buddy.”

 _“Okay! Door’s fixed!”_ Said Null as the door suddenly opened with a woosh noise. _“Get in before something else tries to get in.”_

The group gave each other a nervous look and entered the building. Everyone continued to be on edge as they walked into the lobby of the strange building. It was disturbingly white and clean. Way more sterile than that of even a hospital. It seemed too sterile.

 _“Okay, I’m sending an elevator down for you.”_

A few moments later there was a ding and the doors to the elevator opened up. The group entered and the elevator slowly moved up towards a higher level. As they looked out they could see the vast expanse of the technology district. They could see movement from creatures and things crawling along distant buildings.

As this went on, everyone was deathly quiet. Every now and then someone would glance over at Keith. It was hard not to. He didn’t look human anymore. Well, he did, but the Galra parts of him were much more prominent now. Everyone was slightly uncomfortable by this new reality, and Keith was clearly more disturbed and worried about this than the rest. There probably wasn’t a way to fix his body now. This was probably his new reality.

There was a slight ding as the elevator came to a stop and the group very cautiously exited. They were inside a room where the walls were made of glass. It gave off an illusion that the whole place was open space.

“Null?” Called Allura cautiously.

 _“I am here.”_

Something that didn’t look at all like an Altean approached them and stood behind a wall of thick glass. This creature stood about 10 feet tall with several cords and wires attached to its back and head vanished into the ceiling. Its head section was clear, but floating inside a viscus blue fluid was a brain and a set of eyes. Null was a cyborg. The team just stared at them in shock. The only things that once resembled an organic being was that which was inside their head.

“... What happened to you?” Asked Allura in shock.

Null looked down at themselves, unblinking. _“Over time the Altaxon’s evolved beyond their physical forms. Flesh, blood, and bones are limiting. They do not allow for the creativity that one truly needs to expand their minds.”_ They moved some weird flexible metal appendage that ended in some kind of drill.

“But we heard you coughing!” Said Allura. “You were coughing!”

Null made a dismissive gesture. _“The cough is an audio response programmed in to let me know that there are problems with other functions. Hence why I am hooked up to this umbilical cord.”_ The gestured to the wires attaching their metallic body to the ceiling. _“I am in the process of making repairs so that I may leave the building and scavenge again. The last time I left those damn ermites were out there and damaged me pretty badly. Them and the engineers.”_

“So we all died for nothing?” Asked Pidge. Everyone gave her looks and Pidge just shrugged. “Well we did, didn’t we? We came here because of that S.O.S and we stayed because we were going to get Null. Now Null can’t even leave the building. What the fuck was the point of this? We’ve been ripped apart! Look at Keith! Keith’s fucked up!”

 _“I am sorry about that.”_ Said Null. _“There isn’t much I can do about that. You could try killing yourself over and over again until you regain the right genetic mix?”_

“Fuck you.” Spat Keith. Blood flew from his mouth and hit the glass. “Dying fucking hurts!”

 _“I never said it wouldn’t hurt.”_ Null shuffled off to the side, the sound of pistons hissing and metal clanking as she did so. _“Anyway, I wish to leave this place and to do so I need some help… I need to get a canister of quintessence to fix my power core. Then I can go with you and leave the building.”_

“No.” Said Allura.

_“No? Why?”_

“We demand answers!” She said sternly. “What is going on here? What happened? Why did the Aaltaxon’s vanish from Altea? Where did Altax go?! Why? How? I need to know!”

Null stood still for a moment as they looked at her with their floating eyes. The lights dimmed and a projection appeared on the glass between them, showing cave paintings to paint a picture of past events. _“The story of how the Altaxon’s and Altax left Altea started generations before we even thought to look to the stars… And it all started off over the most ancient of disagreements. Religious ideology.”_

***

Before Altea became what it was, there were many different countries all ruled by different kings, queens, warlords and emperor types. Each kingdom naturally developed their own culture and religion. Because of this hugely dividing factor, the rules pitted country against country and the victor proclaimed that their god or gods were the real and true ones.

After what felt like eons most of Altea conceded in the pantheon. It was a mesh of several religions, at least that’s part of the truth. The holy text where the words of the gods was written, was written by a mad man. A man touched by the gods who wrote nonstop for one hundred days. They wrote 200 chapters only of which, 199 were distributed to the public.

The 200th chapter was deemed illegible and full of insane ramblings. Scribbles, drawing and numbers that no one took seriously. The Altaxon’s would never forsake the holy texts like that. The Altaxon’s continued to practice religion, much more closely in line with the holy texts than the other people of Altea.

For a long time everyone was happy and in balance. The Altaxon’s started to see the way that the rest of Altea acted disgusted them. They were not acting in the way that the gods would be pleased by, so they hid themselves away, became isolationists, and refused entry into their country to anyone not born on Altax with Altaxon parents.

The Altaxon’s found that the path of penance was more satisfying and gave them the humility to see what the gods truly wanted from us. As a result the Altaxon’s isolated themselves more. They restricted access to their city and everything was fine for a few centuries.

It was during this time that a comet flew through the atmosphere and landed right in front of one of the ancient temples. It was taken for study and was discovered it had many, many strange properties. These strange abnormalities rapidly advanced the Altax civilization to the point that they were in the industrial revolution while the rest of the planet had only just learned how to smash two rocks together to make noise. 

It was during this time that the Altaxon’s unanimously agreed that Altean’s were not worthy of the blessings that the gods gave them. Yet another reason why the Altaxon’s refused everything but basic trading to keep up appearances with the rest of the planet.

Then somehow it became an open secret that the Altaxon’s had technology that the rest of the planet did not. Jealousy and anger grew. The rest of the planet declared war on this peninsula and armed themselves to take what they naive thought was theirs alone to use.

What the Altean’s didn’t know was that during all this time there were dozens of scholars studying the 200th chapter of the holy text. They found a series of numbers that were eventually theorised to be intergalactic coordinates. Using telescopes and probes the coordinates lead to a blackhole in the Botoras system. An invitation for the Altaxon’s to leave Altea and join Malamala, Atuqualute, and the rest of the pantheon beyond the black rainbow.

To that end the Altaxon’s poured all their time and energy into converting their country into a space station to join their gods. They used the comet that they were blessed with to guide them. There were some difficulties organising how it would happen, but they did it. By the gods they did it.

The Altaxon’s left Altea and were now going to be with their gods.

***

 _“And that is why the Altaxon’s left Altea.”_ Said Null as the visual aid in the glass faded away back to how it was before. _“We used the trans dimensional comet to bend reality and keep the station in place to completely stop it from getting sucked into the black hole. What the more religious believe if the gateway to get beyond the black rainbow and into the afterlife and realm of the gods.”_

“Are you serious?” Asked Pidge. “You came here because you thought you found coordinates in some religious texts? That’s some conspiracy theory level bullshit.”

 _“I fully agree… Well, for the most part.”_ Null walked towards a window that overlooked the rest of the station. _“But I digress, it’s imperative that I obtain a canister or I will not be able to leave with you.”_

“Where would we find a canister?” Asked Shiro cautiously.

One of Null’s mechanical limbs gestured out towards some buildings that were either on fire, or had actual working chimneys. _“The prison should have some. They are always making it… Atropos should be there.”_

Pidge kept giving Null a suspicious look. “Yeah… We happened to run into the Architect before… They called you Clotho.”

Null froze for a moment before they made a strange sound. It sounded like the sound a water cooler would make. _“Yes… That’s what my birth name was. Null is what I choose t be called now.”_

“Why are the people here mad?” Asked Hunk. “Like, they are so crazy and… This is all just madness…”

 _“Many have been exposed to quintessence to such degrees that their minds have become completely fried. They can no longer be reasoned with and in their insanity they dove deeper and deeper into their bloody religious practices. Practices became more and more… masochistic in nature. Many resorted to self mutilation. I assume you have encountered the ermites? Messengers of the gods that...”_ They sighed. _“It doesn’t matter. Those who saturate themselves in that unstable energy are doomed to madness. So now I think we are at an impasse, team Voltron. You can either help me and I can help you leave here, heck, I can even remove those checkpoint badges from your bodies and wipe the systems clean.”_

The team shared slightly concerned looks. They already knew that the checkpoint system on this station was messed up to begin with, but Null was implying something more. Something more sinister.

_“If you do not remove those checkpoint badges properly, your DNA and memories will stay within the system. If something goes wrong, like say someone hacks the system, then you’ll get reloaded to the last checkpoint you were at. But it won’t be you. It will be a copy of you.”_

“A coin toss…” Muttered Hunk. “Heads you keep living your life, tails you’re stuck here forever…”

 _“Precisely.”_ Said Null. _“You can leave now and risk it, but that it. It’s a risk. You might be able to walk out of here, but maybe… 1 deca phoeb… 20, 50, 100, 1000 deca phoebs, you will suddenly be back here. And you could be in a much worse situation than you were before, and you will hate the original that was able to leave. Able to escape. Can you live with that over your conscious?”_

Everyone looked at each other and shared the same look. It was stupid, and reluctantly, Allura looked up at Null right in the eyes. “What do these canister’s look like?”


	251. Altean Manor (Cat-tron AU I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New cute AU! Everyone is a cat! (apart from a few people) But pretty much everyone is a cat! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy! :D

Smack dab in the middle of rural England was a small country town called Platt. Platt was mostly a dairy and wool town. The wool was controlled by the Diabazzel family, and the dairy was controlled by the Altea. They both had large manor like houses on either side of town. Both owners had a rather standoffish relationship with one another, but both owners agreed on one thing; they both adored cats and would happily look after any cats that wandered onto their property.

At the Altea manor, the resident cat was a white and brown ragamuffin cat called Allura. She was a pure breed that was bred by Melenor Altea. The loving wife of Alfor Altea. Before they got Allura, they found an oriental longhair completely lost in their garden. Once they found that no one knew who owned it, they adopted the orange cat and called him Coran.

Coran was more than happy to take care of Allura as she grew up, and everyone thought they were cute siblings. However, the cats did not see it that way. The cats lived in a whole different world that their humans never saw nor would they understand...

***

“Princess.” Meowed Coran quietly one fine Sunday morning. “Princess. It’s time to get up.”

Allura yawned and stretched as she lazily wandered out of her cat bed. “Hmm, it’s always so early…”

Coran nodded and lightly nudged her side. “I know. But the King Alfor and Queen Melenor always feed us this early on a Sunday since they go out so early. We can find a nice spot to nap once they are gone.”

“Very true.” 

The two cats headed down towards the kitchen where Melenor had left them both a tasty salmon and brown rice paste to eat for breakfast. She gave them both some well deserved head pats. 

“Good morning sweeties.” She said. “Sleep well my dears?”

Alfor chuckled and looked down at the cats. “You know, maybe we should think about adoption?”

“Hmm I guess, but I don’t really want children…” She said.

“I know love.” He kissed his wife’s cheek and went about putting their coffee mugs in the sink. “Well, we should head to church now.”

“Of course.” Melenor quickly gave the two cats a few more pats. “We’ll be home soon my dears. Don’t get into any trouble now.”

They two cats watched their humans leave the kitchen before they went back to eating their food and drinking some water. Once that was done the two of them made a quick trip to the litter box before they decided it was time to head outside to find a sunny spot.

The two easily found sunny spots to laze around on. The sandstone stairs that lead to the backdoor. On the bottom step, already relaxing in the sun was a young havana brown with ocean blue eyes.

Coran grinned and happily jumped down to greet them. “Lance! Good to see you again my boy. How are you on this fine day?”

Lance rolled onto his side and lazily batted his paws at the older cat. Lance was a cat from one of the main dairy farms in town. It was run by the McClains. They very much loved having havana browns around and had quite a large clowder of them, all from the same family, though there were a few from the others from the other farms that walked from farm to farm, it was mostly havana browns.

“I’m good Coran.” He said. “Just wanted to come over before I got roped into micing duty.”

There was a slight rustle from a flower bush that made the cats pause for a moment and look over. Seconds later, an auburn Scottish fold wandered out. They shook a leaf out of their fur and happily walked over to them. 

“Hey guys.” They said as they happily climbed the stairs. “Is Hunk not here yet?”

“Not yet Pidge.” Said Allura.

Pidge was a house cat that was originally called Katie, but the family they lived with eventually just called them Pidge when there was a little controversy over their gender when the family went to get them desexed. It was an interesting day, but Pidge preferred being called Pidge and responded better to that then Katie anyway.

“I’m here!” Panted Hunk as he quickly walked around a bush. The chocolate maine coon lived in a small cottage with an elderly couple. He mostly guarded their chickens from foxes and other cats that might want to get at them. It was just lucky that Hunk really, really loved chickens. He often slept in the chicken coop. Hunk plopped down on the bottom step and let out a long sigh. 

Pidge sat down next to him and placed her paw on his face. “You okay there?

“I’m so tired… A very persistent fox last night.”

“Sucks man.”

They heard a little bell jingle and looked over to see the last two members of their little group walking over. A black burmese cross something called Keith, and a three legged, balck and white Japanese bobtail called Shiro. The two cats lived with a little Japanese lady who really loved her koi ponds. 

They hadn’t seen Shiro for a long time. The poor cat had gotten attacked by a stray and had to have his leg amputated. He was a little annoyed and according to Keith, wobbled around a lot and tried to lick his stitches, but he was forced to wear the cone of shame. But now he had to wear a bell.

Keith was the newest addition to the group. No one was really sure where Keith came from. Apparently Shiro just found him, picked him up, and took him home one day. Just kind of adopted him. No one cared. Keith was cool. A little moody and didn’t really like being around anyone but Shiro, but he was cool.

“Hey guys.” Said Shiro. “Anyone got any plans for today?”

“Sleep.” Said Allura. “I like sleep.”

“I agree with Allura.” Said Hunk. “Sleep is nice.” He closed his eyes and curled up in the sun, purring softly. Pidge laid across Hunk’s body and closed their eyes. They also wanted to nap it seemed. Everyone wanted to nap.

Allura hummed a little and stretched her legs out. “We can go inside and sleep. Queen Melenor does love it when you all visit.” The cats happily wandered back inside and made themselves at home. Pidge and Hunk made themselves comfortable on the couch while Allura climbed her cat tree with Coran. Shiro stretched out on a sunny spot on the carpet… And Keith took to exploring while Lance not so subtly stalked him.

“Leave me alone.” Grumbled Keith.

“Nope.” Said Lance.

“Why are you following me?”

“Hmm, because I can.”

“Hiss!”

“What are you? A week old?”

Keith hissed again and started to run. This just made Lance take chase and the two of them ran up and down the hallways like they did. It was kind of amusing to see the two of them act the way that they did. It provided them with hours upon hours of entertainment.

Suddenly Keith jumped off a wall and tackled Lance to the ground, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and shaking him. Keith wasn’t as big as Lance was, so the biting didn’t really do much. Keith couldn’t even drag him around. Just kind of glare at him and nibble him a little.

While those two continued to be dramatic, Allura happily groomed herself as she decided what to do today, besides sleeping and grooming. There was a nice tree outside she could climb. Maybe she could go for a walk around the property? She didn’t know.

Coran climbed up next to her. “Allura, is there anything you wish to do today?”

“Hmm, not really.” She said. “I just want Queen Melenor to come home and brush me… Or King Alfor to pat me…”

“I want Alfor to pat me too…”

“Hey! Allura!” Called Pidge from the bottom of the cat tree. “Can I use the litter box?”

“Yes Pidge!”

“Thanks!” Pidge quickly ran off to use the litter box.

Allura yawned again and dangled her paws over the side of the cat tree. “... Why are they always away for so long?”

“Humans are strange creatures Princess.”

“Hmm…” She sighed and sat up, stretching. “Okay… Well, I want to go back outside now.”

“Of course Princess.” Coran happily followed Allura outside. 

They had to dodge Lance and Keith, who seemed to have decided to roll around and bite each other. Shiro was watching them go with much amusement. “Are you two going to do that all day?” He asked.

“He started it!” Snapped Keith as he attempted to pin the other down.

“Did not!” Lance flailed around wildly. “Shiro! He’s being mean to me just because I am the most handsome!”

“...” Keith bit down hard.

“MEOW!!!”

The two continued to beat eachother up, in a playful manner of course, eventually running outside to race around the garden and cause more trouble for anyone that happened to be outside. It was kind of annoying to Allura. She liked the garden. The flowers were really pretty. Coran also really liked the garden. He often followed Melenor when she went about gardening or the gardener. He would voice his opinions but they didn’t seem not to notice him.

Allura sighed and rubbed her paw against her face. “I swear if those two destroy another flower bed I will not allow them back onto the premises until they bloom next year.”

“Agreed, but they are young cats.” Said Coran. “Only just no longer kittens.”

Allura sighed and was about to lay down on the top step again when Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro quickly ran outside. “The King and Queen are back!” Said Pidge. 

Moments later, Melenor walked outside and smiled down at them. “Aw, all your friends are back. Were you two good?” She asked Coran and Allura as she gently patted them. She happily crouched down and gave every cat close to her several pats. She paid a lot of attention to Shiro and his missing leg. “You good there? Getting along fine with one leg?”

Shiro happily purred and leaned into her hand. He always appreciated getting a few good pats and scratches from anyone and everyone. After he lost his leg, Shiro seemed to just want to take life easy from now on. He wiggled his stump a little when Melenor scratched around his chest.

“Aw, so cute.” She cooed.

Alfor stepped outside with the newspaper in hand. “Huh… So they all came around again?”

“Yep. They all love hanging out with Allura and Coran.”

Alfor nodded in agreement and looked over the garden. “So, where are those other two? That little black cat and the brown one?” There was a slight screech and Keith and Lance tumbled onto the pavement. Both looked kind of shocked that they had landed there, before they quickly bolted back to the house. “There they are.” He looked down at Keith. “Are you still a little angry boy?”

“Hiss!” Keith hid behind Shiro.

“Aw, he’s so scary.” Cooed Melenor. She picked Allura up and went to sit in a wicker chair. Alfor did the same with Coran and the two humans enjoyed the late morning light while the cats did the same. Another relatively peaceful day at the Altea manor.


	252. Relationship turmoil (X-men AU XXIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More relationship drama! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The next semester started with Allura happily welcoming old and new students. She introduced the new students to the teachers and got the new students to go over to Adam so he could give them their schedules and find their rooms. Then they were going to go on a tour. Something that Lance was a little annoyed that didn’t happen for him, but he was glad that he was able to get shown around by Hunk.

Speaking of Hunk, the man was back and so was Pidge. The two happily moved back into the rooms and then piled into Hunk and Lance’s room to catch up. Keith was there too and the others were happy that Keith was there too.

“And long story short, we blew up the toilet.” Said Pidge. “It was awesome.”

“So who is that older guy?” Asked Hunk. “Dark skinned guy. Looked like he could be a teacher but wasn’t introduced as one.”

“That’s Curtis.” Said Lance. “He’s trying to pass highschool. He seems pretty chill. He’s been hanging out with Adam and Shiro mostly. He seems pretty good at art.”

“Think he will join the senior art classes?” Asked Pidge.

Hunk shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know how this stuff works. Still, I hope things work out for him.” He looked over at Keith and smiled. “How was your holiday?”

“It was alright.” Said Keith as he munched on some candy. “It was nice to spend it with Lance.”

“Aw, thanks man. I had a good time with you too.”

Pidge held up their laptop. “Want to watch a movie? We have fuck all to do until tomorrow when classes start.

“I’m actually going to head off.” Said Keith. “I want to talk to Shiro for a bit and I can probably get him alone at the moment.”

Lance nodded and the trio said goodbye as Keith left. Once he was gone, Lance decided to get his friends opinion on the Tex situation. He filled them in about what happened when Keith came to stay with his family, and how they kind of found Keith’s mother but Keith doesn’t know and how he’s been talking to Tex.

“Wait, Haggar?” Asked Pidge. “That psychopath? Holy shit. I’ve heard about some of the shit she has done. Like… Haggar is really, really fucking brutal. Her mutation is gene manipulation. She can change the genes of a normal human. I’ve actually seen some papers that she allegedly released on the darkweb about gene theory… Some of it is interesting, but it’s really fucked up.”

“Really?” Asked Lance.

Pidge nodded. “Yeah, there are some really fucked up pictures… And there is a disturbing theory that Haggar used to be this respected biologist called Honerva. My parents actually knew her and went to conferences with her… When she vanished then Haggar showed up and went off the deep end with Honerva’s theories and started to do really unethical human experiments. You should see some of the stuff she wrote about genetically modifying a foetus. Pretty fucked up.”

Hunk shuddered. “I’m all for leaps and bounds in science and fertility treatments but like… If you want a kid shouldn’t you let them just be born and exist the way they are?”

“We aren’t getting into a eugenics debate here.” Said Pidge. “But all the research is talking about breeding better mutants. Weeding out the bad mutations or humans with no mutations to evolve humanity… So that stuff is pretty much eugenics. Now all Haggar needs is a toothbrush moustache and the transformation into a Nazi is complete.”

“So she’s basically Hitler?” Questioned Lance.

Pidge thought for a moment. “Hmm, nah, I’d say she’s more of a Mengele. A psychopath that’s given free reign to butcher people for fun.” 

“Um, can we not talk about Nazi’s?” Asked Hunk. “This isn’t even history class… Back to what you wanted advice about. Have you told Keith any of this?”

“How do you tell a guy you know who his parents are when they don’t?” Asked Hunk. “Does Keith even want to know who his parents are? Like, I don’t know. He never brings that stuff up, but we haven’t been friends for that long…”

“But he can’t just not tell him.” Said Pidge. “What if Tex decides he wants to meet Keith and then comes here or something? Keith might not take it well, and you two already met Krolia, but she didn’t say anything to Keith… Does she even want a son?”

“... I didn’t think to ask.” Said Lance. “I guess I’ll have to think about this a bit…”

“Well you better think fast.” Warned Pidge. “He could get very, very messy. The Allura thing is different though because she can play it off as her wanting him to be an adult and have an informed decision and all that, but you? You’re a kid, like him. He’d be more hurt if a peer didn’t tell him than a teacher.”

Lance nodded a little and sighed. “Yeah, I guess I do… So are we going to watch a movie now?”

***

Keith very carefully slipped down the halls, doing his best to avoid other students and went to Shiro’s room. The winged mutant was sitting on the bed he shared with Adam while scrolling through his laptop.

“Oh, hey Keith. Need something?”

“Not really. Just wanted to see what you were up to.”

“Really?” He asked. “This isn’t because Hunk and Pidge are back now, right?”

“... I just want them to catch up. They were Lance’s friends before they were mine. Anyway, where’s Adam and Curtis?”

“Curtis is on an official school tour with Coran and Adam is showing students around… with another Coran… There are many Coran’s about today.”

“Right…” Keith sat next to Shiro, his tail flicking around a little as he did so.

The older man closed his laptop and smiled at him. “So, what’s on your mind? Worried I’ll suddenly run off for work?”

“Well you do have some conferences coming up.” Reminded Keith. “So, you know…”

“True… But that’s like, two months away.”

“Yeah… Can I come with you?” Asked Keith. “Just give me a clipboard and call me an intern or something. I want to… I want to get out there and spend some time with you.”

Shiro sighed when he said that. “Keith… You say that every time.”

“Yeah, but that just shows how much I want to go with you.” Said Keith. “I hate it when you just leave me here. All I want is to go with you…”

“I know, but you’ve almost finished school.” Said Shiro. “Can’t slack off now. Next year when you’ve graduated you can take a year off and do a bunch of boring government stuff with me. Besides, I thought you’d want to stay here with your friends now? You and Lance have gotten pretty close over the past few weeks.”

Keith’s ears drooped a little and his tail went limp against the bed. “Shiro... “

“Keith, it’s okay. Really. No need to feel weird about getting close to other people.” Reassured Shiro. “I’m really proud that you made some friends. And hey, maybe by the time I get back your bike will be up and running. Would be cool to see you riding around on that thing by the time I get back.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Shiro pulled him into a one armed hug. “I’m really proud of you Keith. You’re an amazing young man and I’m so impressed at who you became.”

Keith rolled his eyes a little and leaned into the hug. “You must have very low standards…”

“Nah, the one with the low standards is Adam.” Said Shiro. “The fool asked me out after all.”

“... Yeah, okay. He has low standards.”

Shiro chuckled and lightly bonked Keith in the back of the head with his wing. “Cheeky… You know I’ll always come back for you, right? Keith, you’re my brother. No matter what happens that never changes. Yeah?”

“Yeah...” Keith leaned against Shiro’s shoulder. “... After I graduate, can we… Can we go somewhere fun? Like, I’ll get a passport and we can go somewhere fun?”

“Sure. We’ll do something fun. Go wherever you want for a month.”

Keith smiled a little and sighed. He felt safe here with Shiro. It was nice. Kind of the same feelings he would get when he would sit close to Lance and watch movies with him, but he kind of liked being around Lance a little more than Shiro. Which didn’t sound right when he thought about it. Shiro was the most important person to him.

Eventually Keith left to let Shiro get back to his work. Keith just went for a quiet walk around the grounds. Everyone would mostly be inside at the moment. Which was fine. Only the returning students were out doing their own thing. Mostly catching up with friends and stuff.

Keith ended up heading into the back woods and climbed up a tree. It had been a while since he had climbed a tree. He found a few comfortable looking branches and he laid across them. He sighed a little as he thought more about Lance. He really liked him. He was nice and kind to him when he didn’t have to be. He forced him out and made him deal with all kinds of people that he normally never would have had to deal with.

If Keith had to admit it, he might actually really like Lance. Which made him kind of sad, because he knew they probably wouldn’t stay friends after they graduated. He sighed and closed his eyes. He’d have a nap and worry about his feelings later.

***

Curtis couldn’t take his eyes off of Adam. It was an eternal struggle. There were five new students joining this semester. All of them were younger than him, and he felt a little awkward being taken on a tour of the school. At least Adam was the one showing them around.

After the grand tour talking about where the classrooms were and where all the basic things were that they might need for one reason or another. Once that was over with, they ended up in the dining room and talked for a bit. Adam answered questions for the group and then let them go off to do their own thing.

Alone with Adam, Curtis felt awkward. Adam seemed to notice something was wrong, and went over to him. “I know this must be a little hard for you, being an adult and having to take teenage classes.”

“It’s okay.” Said Curtis quickly. “I mean, it’s a little weird and I doubt I’ll be able to hang out with anyone outside of school or anything but-”

“You can come to my office any time.”

Curtis was a little surprised. “Really?”

“Of course. I’m not technically a teacher.” Said Adam calmly. “I don’t grade things. I just talk to kids, make sure they are mentally sound, and make sure they are adjusting to a school environment. So you can just drop by my office whenever you wish. You’re good company.”

“S-so are you…” Said Curtis quietly. “You and Shiro…”

Adam smiled and patted his back. “Well, we both like you. Now come on, let’s head back to my office before Coran asks me to do some more work. You can show me some more of the stuff you’ve drawn?”

“Oh, that’s all in my room…”

“If you like we can just go and hang out in your room for a bit?”

“O-okay.”

It wasn’t unusual for Adam to suggest this. He seemed intrigued by the things that Curtis painted or made. It did make Curtis feel a little uneasy to show off his work, but he was happy that Adam was taking an interest in him. Even if it made him blush.

They got to his room and walked in. His room was larger than that of a normal student’s room and looked a little more like an art studio than a simple bedroom in a boarding school. At the moment he had a large canvas set up in the middle of his room. He was painting a black winged angel sitting on the edge of a snowy cliff. 

Curtis hadn’t painted the colours on the angel yet, that was mostly still just pencil. He was just wondering if he should just change the planned win and hair colour. If he didn’t, then it would be way too obvious that he was painting Shiro.

“An angel huh?” Questioned Adam.

Curtis’ face heated up a little as he shrugged and looked away. “I guess… They kind of represent freedom, peace, and all that kind of nice stuff…”

“Yeah… Want Shiro to pose for you? You’ll be able to get the wings right if you have a model, right?”

“Um, yeah… I’ll ask him later.”

Adam smiled warmly at him in a way that made his heart flutter. This man should not have this kind of hold over him. But he did. So did Shiro. Both men should not be able to do this to him. Adam walked around the room and pointed to a few small, palm sized paintings on a bookshelf.

“Did you paint these recently?”

“Yeah, last night when I couldn’t sleep.” He muttered. “Do you really like them?”

“I do. You’re a talented painter.”

“Thank you Adam.” Said Curtis. “It really means a lot to me to know that you and Shiro are supporting me.”

“That’s just what good friends do.”

Despite the fact that he knew that neither Adam nor Shiro would ever be interested in him romantically, because they have each other, it still hurts. “Yeah. that’s what friends do.”


	253. Chilli (Highschool AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's opening up more, and Lance is coming to terms that Keith isn't the sexy sadist he thought he was. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lance was conflicted. After spending the day with Keith, Lance’s whole view on him had just changed. Keith was just a quiet boy with sleeping issues. He seemed like a nice guy that wasn’t violent. Heck, he didn’t seem like he had ever been in any fight ever. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy that would choke a bitch out. He was a sweet guy that cared deeply for his family if the way he talked about Shiro and Adam meant anything.

He felt stupid for thinking that Keith was some super hot and sexy delinquent and his crush should have ended there, but it didn’t. He was still crushing on the other teen. He still wanted Keith to maybe fuck him and choke him out… then maybe cuddle after? Cuddling was a nice thought to add to his little fantasy. Kind of felt a little weird and intimate to add that to it, but it was kind of nice.

As he thought about this his bedroom door got flung open and several of his younger cousins, nieces and nephews suddenly came in and jumped on him. They were all screeching and going on about how dinner was ready.

Once Lance could breathe again he reluctantly went down for dinner. It was a huge family thing with almost all the McClain children and their offspring with a few aunts and uncles here and there. Lance quickly grabbed a seat and went about piling his plate before his younger cousins took all the rice. He didn’t know why some of them only wanted to eat rice and beans. Hopefully they would grow out of it.

He didn’t engage much in conversation as everyone else talked about their day and the things they did. Lance only talked when he was asking someone to pass him a dish. Then his older sister nudged his side.

“Hey, space brain. You listening?” Asked Veronica

Lance jumped a little. “Huh?”

“You went to a friend’s place. We were asking if it was Hunk or Pidge.”

“Neither.” Said Lance. “I went to a new friend’s place.”

His other sister smirked and nudged his other side. “Who was it? A girl? Lance Lance got a girlfriend?”

“Tio Lance has a girlfriend?” Asked one of his nephews.

His mama gave him a suspicious look. “Oh? Do you now?”

Lance sighed loudly and shook his head. “No mama. I went to a friend’s house and he is very much not my girlfriend. He’s a quiet guy from school.”

“Who is it?” Asked Rachel. “Maybe I know him? I mean, we are twins. I might be the better looking one, but I probably know him.”

“Keith Kogane.” Said Lance.

Rachel was kind of surprised. “That guy that everyone thinks knocked you out but helped you to the nurses office when you knocked yourself out?” Everyone in the family knew the story by now.

“Yes…”

She snorted. “Alright. What did you guys do anyway? Isn’t he kind of weird?”

Lance shrugged. “Yeah, but he’s got a sleep condition that messes him up a bit. We mostly watched movies and ate junk food. It was nice.”

“What are his parents like?” Asked his mama.

“He lives with his brother and his brother’s husband. I didn’t talk much to them because they were out going to doctors appointments.” Said Lance. “His brother just got out of the army and he lost his arm, so I’m assuming it’s probably stuff for that.”

Marco, his older brother, frowned a little and put down his fork. “What’s his name? The brother.”

“Shiro.”

“Built like a bodybuilder?” He asked. “Missing his right arm? Has a shock of white hair at the front and the rest is black?”

“Yeah, that’s him.”

Marco nodded. “Ah, I see. He’s one of my patients. Good guy. He’s doing pretty well.”

Lance was kind of surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’m not gonna say too much, HIPPA and all that good stuff, but Shiro is a good guy. He’s responding well to treatment considering he lost his arm in a freak accident.”

There wasn’t much else to be said on the matter as some of the nieces and nephews started to talk about the things they were doing that day. Mostly kids shows, sports they were doing, or toys and games they were playing earlier in the day.

***

The weekend ended pretty quickly and everyone was back at school. Everyone was in class, but Keith was sleeping in the sick bay while Coran went about looking through the medicine cabinet. Probably counting bandaids or something. Not that it really mattered much.

Keith was just glad that he was able to sleep quietly. Ever since Lance’s visit he felt a little more relaxed. It was kind of nice that the other didn’t think he was too weird when he face planted the coffee table. He actually had a relatively good night’s sleep that evening. It was nice. Lance was nice. 

Shiro and Adam had asked him a lot of questions about Lance and if he had a good time that evening at dinner. Keith was happy and told them about it. Things had been going really well, and Lance didn’t make him feel weird about his medical condition. Something Adam told him he was going to take him to the doctors for in a few days.

Keith was a little late getting to school that day and didn’t end up talking to Lance before school. It was okay. He would talk to him later around lunch time. He felt Coran’s hand on his shoulder as the nurse gently woke him.

“Come on Keith. It’s lunch time.” He said. “Make your way to the cafeteria.”

“Hmm… Fine…” Keith sat up and rubbed his eyes. After a few minutes of blinking back the sleep, he checked his phone for any emails from the teachers about what chapters he would need to read in his own time for homework. It was kind of the bare minimum of what he needed to pass.

He grabbed his backpack and walked down to the cafeteria. He grabbed a tray and waited in line to get something to eat. He had no idea what today’s food was until he got there. It looked like chilli, corn bread, an apple and a pudding cup. Keith just shrugged, got his tray and walked to the table where his trio of friends was already sitting.

Lance grinned at him. “Hey man. I was just telling the guys about that hummingbird feeder.”

“We don’t get hummingbirds around here…” Said Pidge.

Keith shrugged and sat down. “You try telling Shiro that. He just liked how it looked or something. I don’t know. Could have been an impulse buy.”

“Sounds like it.” Said Pidge. “Do you really also have a bird feeder with a greased pole in your yard?”

“Adam was tired of all the squirrels stealing the seeds.” Said Keith. “I think he said something along the lines of; Fuck those fluffy tailed rats. I swear I will kick them all across the street like fuzzy footballs.”

Pidge snorted. “Squirrels are assholes.”

“Aw, they aren’t that bad.” Said Hunk. “Though some squirrels did steal my Christmas lights last year…”

Keith gave Hunk a confused look. “Really?”

Hunk nodded. “Yeah. They unscrewed the lights and hid them in their tree. I felt bad for them, and when I took the lights back I replaced them with some feed. Didn’t want them to starve in the Spring, you know?”

“That’s fair.” Said Keith as he poked his fork into his chilli. He noticed that he was the only one that was eating cafeteria food. Everyone else seemed to have brought some things from home. Maybe they had time to make food in the morning or before they went to bed?

“Keith.” Said Pidge. “Quick question.”

“Yeah?”

“You have sleeping problems?”

Lance shot Pidge a look. “Pidge…”

“Hey, I’m curious.” She said defensively. “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s cool.”

“No, it’s fine…” Said Keith. This was kind of awkward. He hadn’t ever really talked to anyone about his medical issues. It felt strange to talk about it to someone that wasn’t his family or a doctor. “I have extreme insomnia. I’ve been awake for like, two days in a row. Doctors said it might be stress induced or some kind of hormonal thing. I’ve had lots of blood tests and head scans. Nothing much I can do about it. It’s been suggested that it’s all psychosomatic, but they haven’t found the cause of it yet.” 

“So, you just can’t sleep?” Asked Hunk.

Keith shook his head. “No, I can fall asleep. My body just spontaneously gives out and I fall asleep. That’s all.”

“So you sleep at random times?” Asked Hunk.

“Yep.”

“Like, you could fall asleep now?”

“Yep. Kind of sucks, but I can catch myself most of the time. I only really collapse when I get really, really tired.”

Pidge gave him a strange look. “Okay, this is going to be a leap here, but is that why you don’t do group work?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I don’t want to annoy or drag anyone down with my shitty sleep schedule. It’s just easier to do group work by myself. I don’t want to drag others' grades down just because I’m not awake when they are to work on stuff.” He poked his chilli again and frowned. “This doesn’t seem to have the same consistency as proper chilli…”

Hunk leaned over slightly and looked into his chilli bowl. “Yeah… The cafeteria food here is kind of hit or miss… I think today is kind of a miss. Want a doughnut?” He offered one of several cinnamon doughnuts to him. “They are jam filled.”

Keith was touched by this. “Thanks.” He took one and ate it. “These are really good.”

“Thanks man, I made them myself.”

“Did you use the spice mix I suggested?” Asked Pidge.

“Yep.”

“Nice.” She high fived Hunk and also took a doughnut for herself. Hunk also offered it to Lance. It was kind of nice. It seemed to be a thing for Hunk to make things and give his baking experiments to his friends to share. It was nice. These people were nice and yeah, Keith could say that they were his friends.

“So, you nerds doing anything after school?” Asked Pidge. “I have some firecrackers we can set off in my yard.”

“I’m up for it.” Said Lance.

“Sure.” Said Hunk. “If only to make sure you guys don’t kill each other.”

“I have work…” Said Keith quietly. “I don’t think I have enough time to grab my uniform and get the bus…”

“Oh, I drove today.” Said Hunk. “If you like we can swing by your place, grab your uniform, go to Pidge’s place, and then I can drop you off when you need to go. Sound good to you?”

Keith was kind of shocked at the offer, but nodded. “Y-yeah. Sure. I’d really like that. Thanks.” He was really happy to be included. Having friends was really, really nice. He wished he had made them earlier. Oh well, he had friends now.


	254. Roommates (Shop AU VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are kind of settling into being roommates, and Keith figures out that Lance is crushing hard on Shiro... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

And they were roommates. Things were a little weird, but Lance quickly adapted to the situation. Though it seemed like Keith probably wasn’t used to living with a roommate. A few times when Keith went to work at the mechanics and Lance got home first, he was annoyed to find dirty dishes in the sink. After a few talks Keith started putting them in the dishwasher, which was nice.

It was also kind of nice to go home with Keith when they both worked in the store. Keith seemed to be quiet enough and stuck mostly to his bedroom doing whatever it was he was doing. Lance didn’t question it. Occasionally Lance would cook dinner for the both of them and Keith seemed surprised when he did.

They were happily eating dinner together on the weekend when Keith paused for a moment and looked up at Lance. “What is this called again?”

“Ropa vieja.” Said Lance. “It’s not as good as my mama’s, but I think it’s pretty good for what it is.”

Keith nodded and ate some more. “It’s good. Never had it before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Tastes nice. I’ve been living off instant noodles and sometimes Shiro’s cooking, which is pretty gross.”

Lance chuckled a little. It was nice finding out little bits and pieces of information about Shiro. “So he can’t cook?”

“Nope. Not at all.” Keith paused for a moment and chuckled. “He’s so bad he could burn water. In fact, I think he actually did once.”

“Man, I would pay to see that…”

“He almost set the kitchen on fire.”

“Ouch. Maybe not… Anyway, if you want to invite Shiro over some time just give me a little heads up. Same if you want to invite anyone else over.”

“Thanks.” 

After dinner they sat down on the couch and decided to watch TV together. Lance let Keith choose what they watched that evening. Lance didn’t want to do anything that might make Keith think he was something else. So he pretty much had to wait until he got home early or wait until Keith went to bed if he wanted to watch his stuff.

Keith put it onto some restoration car show. Something that Lance couldn’t help but find incredibly boring. Sure he was interested in how someone would get a car from the 1970s up and running, but at the same time it was so boring. They almost always used the same techniques to restore a car. There wasn’t really anything new or interesting in there, at least not to him. Keith liked it and that was good enough for him.

“So…” Said Keith during an addbreak.

“Yes?”

“You going out this weekend or something?” He asked. “Going to bring someone back?”

Lance chuckled a little and shook his head. “No. I’m not. Not this weekend anyway. I’m just going to chill here. Why? Did you want me out of here or something?”

Keith shrugged. “You mention going out to parties and stuff at work, so I just assumed you might be a bit of a party animal.”

He laughed and grinned. “Yeah. I’m kind of like that. But I just haven’t been feeling it lately… Like, I’m in my mid twenties and stuff… My partying days are slowly starting to come to an end and I… Well, I guess I want to try and find something a little more stable? I tried that with my ex, but… Yeah, it didn’t work out.”

Keith frowned at that and nodded. “Yeah… So you’re not good in the love department?”

Lance gasped in dramatic shock. “I happen to be a very good lover! My partners are always satisfied.”

“I meant relationship wise.” Said Keith. “But good to know you’re good in bed.”

“... Right.” Lance frowned a little and took out his phone to check his insta. “Anyway, I guess I’m just not what people are looking for. I mean, I try to be a good boyfriend. I try to be kind, open, caring, a good listener… Heck, I got Hunk to help me learn how to cook some dishes that they liked but…”

“But?”

“Well, I was mostly dumped for not being the same person I was when we dated, or they started cheating on me, or I’m more of a friend than a boyfriend… And one time I was actually the side chick to this guy that was cheating on his wife. He had a wife and kids! It was disgusting! How could you do that to someone you’re married to? That… That’s sacred!”

“You’re pretty big on marriage, huh?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah, I think that marriage is kind of a sacred thing. Like, once you are with someone then that’s it. You shouldn’t be looking at other people.”

“That is fair.”

“Yeah… What about you?” Asked Lance. “How are you when it comes to relationships? Are you seeing someone?”

Keith shook his head. “Nah, I’ve been in a few relationships. The longest one was one in highschool where we decided to break things off when we graduated. Neither of us wanted to go and have a long distance relationship… Then I had a series of hookups for a while. Never really cared too much for anything long term, though I never looked for anything long term to begin with.”

“Oh, was it a rough breakup?”

“Nah, it was mutual. Just haven’t had the need to be with anyone else. Maybe I’ll start looking for someone long term?” He mused. “What kind of person do you want to end up with?”

“Guy or girl?” Asked Lance. “There is a bit of a difference there.”

“Why?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Because guys and girls have way different assets. Girls are generally softer than guys. They have a pretty shape.” He smiled a little as he thought about girls. “They have pretty chests and butts. Very soft and cute. Fun to cuddle. I also kind of want to have kids in the future at some point, so having a uterus is a big plus.”

“And guys?”

Lance blushed a little as his mind instantly went to Shiro. “Well… Someone that takes care of themselves is nice… Someone that wouldn’t mind taking care of my needs sometimes would be nice. A nice ass is good too.”

Keith chuckled. “Are guys and girls that different?”

“Yeah. My parents have kind of integrated that whole chivalry thing in us boys, so I kind of feel a little obliged to take care of the girls I’m dating, you know?” Asked Lance. “Anyway, it’s kind of nice to be held sometimes… But personality wise it’s the same for both. I want someone kind, caring, and considerate.”

Keith nodded a little as he leaned back on the couch. “Hmm, I want a cute guy that can make me smile. Someone that’s more than what they seem… Having a nice ass is a top priority too.”

Lance laughed. “Yeah, looks like we both want a guy with a nice butt.”

“Yep. Butts are nice.”

“Yeah.” Lance frowned a little and looked down at his phone for a few moments before he decided to just bite the bullet. “So… Do you know if Shiro is seeing someone?”

“Yeah. He’s casually dating two guys at the moment.” Said Keith in a nonchalaunt kind of way. 

“Oh… okay.” That kind of devastated Lance a little. Shiro was seeing other people and didn’t even consider him. Maybe he just wasn’t Shiro’s type? Yeah, that was probably it. Shiro didn’t like stupid people. There was no way Shiro would like him.

***

In all honesty? Keith, despite looking calm, was kind of pissed. He was used to people fawning over Shiro and thinking he was cute. He couldn’t count the number of girls that would talk to him in highschool and ask about Shiro. Keith always told them that he was gay and probably blowing the football team. Shiro didn’t appreciate that fact, but since Keith was a foul mouthed shit in highschool, no one believed him anyway.

Now Lance was asking about Shiro? Lance totally liked Shiro and he knew it. Not that he could blame him. Shiro was perfect. Everyone wanted to be with Shiro. Hopefully Lance wouldn’t like Shiro after learning that he was seeing other people, and doing it casually too. Lance seemed to like monogamy.

He looked over at Lance and couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. The other man looked kind of devastated. Yeah, he really, really liked Shiro. Shiro was a fucking idiot for not giving Lance some kind of attention or at least setting him straight and letting him know he wasn’t interested in him. Now he had to deal with a sad roommate that he himself was crushing on.

He looked up at the TV to see that the people on the restoration show were in the middle of repainting a 1968 Chevrolet Camaro RS. He passed the remote to Lance. “Here, I’ve seen this episode before. Let’s watch something you want to watch.”

“Oh, really?” Asked Lance as he took the remote. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Lance looked down at the remote for a moment before he changed the channel. He changed it to a reality TV show that Keith didn’t recognise. “So like, have you ever watched the real housewives of Orange county?”

“No, but I’m guessing I am going to.”

“Um… yeah…” Lance became quiet and watched the TV.

Keith himself couldn’t watch the TV for any longer than about ten minus before he excused himself to use the bathroom. He couldn’t believe that Lance liked watching that kind of junk. It was so vapid and stupid. 

He was frustrated at that, and was still frustrated at Shiro. In honesty, Shiro didn’t do anything wrong. He wasn’t interested in Lance, and Lance hadn’t explicitly asked Shiro out… Unless that one time he asked Shiro out for drinks was his attempt to ask Shiro on a kind of date? It was confusing and frustrating.

Keith decided that he was too annoyed to make polite conversation with Lance and decided to go and tell Lance he was going to head to his room and probably hang out there for the rest of the night. Lance seemed a little sad by that, but smiled and wished him goodnight.

Keith got to his bedroom and stripped down to his underwear before getting into bed. He didn’t really wear pyjamas unless it got cold and frosty. He flopped onto his bed and closed his eyes. Keith was way too nice. Lance just opened up his home and gave him a room that was probably almost as big as his old lounge room and kitchen combined.

Earlier he had asked Shiro what he should do to thank Lance for letting him stay with him on such short notice. Shiro had suggested that Keith cook for him, but unless Lance wanted to eat Keith’s speciality; instant ramen with a boiled egg and buttered toast on the side, then Keith probably wouldn’t be cooking for him any time soon. Maybe he’d go shopping with Lance over the weekend? Lance did mention he needed to go shopping on the weekend.


	255. Chilling (AtLA AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is just chilling and vibing in the swamp. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The Foggy swamp tribe were a very relaxed group. They mostly seemed to just sit around and chill while occasionally going to fish or catch giant bugs. Everyone seemed pretty nice and were more than happy to just sit around and talk. Which was good for Lance. It gave him time to catch up with Marco.

Marco was the oldest of Lance’s siblings and was often seen as a prime example of what all the other kids should strive to be. The last time he saw Marco the man was heading down to the Southern Water tribe. Now he was wearing a loincloth and looked like he was developing a tan.

“So… What are you doing here?” He asked his brother.

Marco shrugged. “Eh, I just didn’t feel like going home just yet… Mama and papa are kind of… Have you noticed that they are kind of pushy? Like, before I came here papa was asking if I was seeing anyone. Like, if I was interested in dating or getting married to someone. Next thing I knew mama was saying how they are going to arrange a bride for me as soon as I got home.”

“And you don’t want to go home because you don’t want to get married?”

“Yep. I don’t want a wife.” Said Marco. “Never have. Never will. What about you? Allura’s kept me informed about stuff but-”

“You’ve kept in touch with Allura?”

“Yeah. I wrote her a letter asking for her blessing to be a glorified ambassador to the Foggy swamp tribe.” He grinned at Lance and ruffled his hair. “I have some letters from her in my hut. I also have a hawk if you want to send her a letter. Takes about a week to get a letter back. You going to be around for that?”

“Heck yeah! Show me the hawk.”

Marco grinned and happily took Lance to his hut. There was a hawk in a cage but seemed pretty content with themselves. They cawed when they saw them and Marco tossed a fish bit from a pot at them. They happily ate it and allowed Marco to pat them.

“My writing stuff is over there. Go ahead and write Allura a letter.”

“Thanks bro.” Lance took a piece of parchment and some ink. He thought about it for a moment before he started writing out his letter to her.

_Dear Allura_   
_How have things been up in the water tribe? Hopefully good. I’m sorry I haven’t really written to you much. Lots of things have happened since I last wrote. For example, we went to the Eastern Air Temple. The woman running that place sucks. She wouldn’t help us because Keith is a firebender. So, she’s a bitch. But thankfully Adam was there. Adam is Shiro’s ex I think? He’s a flying bison herder or something. He was cool._

_Anyway, we are currently hanging out in the Foggy swamp and I met up with Marco. It was so cool! I thought he was still in the Southern Watertribe. It was pretty cool. How long has he been here? He said that you knew._

_In other news, I did some water healing on Keith, you know like the way our parents would when we got a little cut or bump? Well I did that for him and damn his muscles are super stressed. Do you have any idea what I could do to try and help him? I could try some more water healing but I don’t really know what that will accomplish._   
_Love your cool cousin, Lance_

He read over the letter a few times before he nodded and got Marco to send it off to Allura. “Think it’ll make it?”

“My hawk hasn’t failed me yet.” Said Marco. “So, you just traveling around for fun or were you heading South?”

“A bit of both.” Said Lance. “I just wanted to explore. You know?”

Marco nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I get it… Mama and papa aren’t pushing you to get married too are they?”

“... Kind of.”

He nodded. “Yeah, they are pretty pushy when it comes to that stuff… So are you going to get married when you get back?”

Lance shrugged. “I guess so. I mean, I might as well, right? Once I go back I’m going to buckle down and try getting into the whole government thing. It’s what I should be doing, right?”

“Well, if that’s what you want to do then that’s fine.” Said Marco. “You do you. Just think about it really well first. If you want to do it then you can do it, but if you want to stay single then you should be allowed to do it. I know they have our best interests at heart, but you know…”

“Yeah…”

“... Wanna go fishing?”

“Yeah.”

***

While the brothers were bonding, Shiro and Keith were watching Curtis and Pidge. He was showing her some waterbender movements. His movements were a lot more rough and rigid than Lance’s movements. Curtis would look over at Shiro and Keith every once in a while and smile at them.

Shiro happily waved back at them. That action just made Keith roll his eyes. “You want to blow kisses at him?”

“What? No? I’m just trying to be friendly.” Said Shiro.

“Yeah?” Keith looked over at Curtis. “Not trying to look him over? What about Adam?”

“I’m still loyal to Adam.” Grumbled Shiro. “I just know that there are other people out there that look hot too, and Curtis does look hot… But I’m not going to cheat on Adam, like, I know we aren’t even really together or anything at the moment but I… I still want to be with him. I want Adam...”

“Don’t feel guilty about wanting someone else. You and Adam aren’t a thing anymore.”

“I still want Adam…” He sighed a little. “Anyway, how are things going with you and Lance?”

Keith frowned. “What about me and Lance?”

“Well, you two are acting really friendly towards each other.” Said Shiro. “You got anything to say about that?”

Keith shrugged. “It’s whatever. We’re just friends you know?”

“Ha, you admit you are friends?”

“Quiet you.”

Shiro chuckled and patted his back. “Alright, let’s talk about something else. How are you feeling?”

“Really? Do we have to talk about my feelings? The fuck?”

“What? It’s a valid question.” He nudged Keith and smiled at him. “So, you feeling more peaceful?”

“Eh, not really… Maybe...” Keith started to play with the bracelet on his wrist. He had worn it since he bought it from Hunk in Ba Sing Se. He still wasn’t sure if it really was meant to balance out his chi or whatever. It was probably just some little trinket that Hunk could sell in bulk because they were easy to make. “What do you think of the spirit world?”

“Oh? Getting all philosophical now?” Asked Shiro.

“No I just… Lance is always talking about the spirits and stuff. So I was wondering if maybe I’ve been cursed?”

“Keith…”

“But it would make sense, right?” Asked Keith. “Maybe I happened to piss off a spirit or may family did and this is some kind of generational curse?”

Shiro sighed and shook his head. “Keith, we have already been over this. We went to temples and had you checked and purified just in case dozens of times. No Priest or Priestess has ever found any negative or dark traces on you.”

“Well, still sucks…” He muttered. “And now we’re stuck in a forest. I can’t control my fire. I’m gonna end up burning this place down.”

“A swamp.” Corrected Shiro. “We are in a swamp. We’re also surrounded by waterbenders. Most things here are a bit too damp for you to set on fire and anything you do will probably be put out by someone else.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence there…” He muttered.

***

“Waterbending here is a lot more rigid.” Noted Pidge as she copped Curtis’ movements.

The older waterbender shrugged. “Well we have to keep our movements rigid and strong for moving around the waterways. That’s all. We have to be sure in our movements.”

“I guess… But still…”

“It’s just how we do things. Anyway, why are you trying to learn swampbending?”

“Swampbending?”

Curtis shrugged. “It could catch on.”

“Sure… Well, I figured that if I learn how to do all the other bending then I might finally figure out how to metalbend. As an earthbender, that’s what I really want to do. It’s like… The thing to bend. Any earthbender can fling a rock, but an amazing earthbender can fling a cannon ball at someone.”

“Okay… But what is the difference between metal and earth?” Asked Curtis. With a quick flick of his arm he pulled some water from the swamp and made it swirl around in his palm to form a sphere. “To me it seems like the difference between water and ice.” He turned his hands sharply and the water sphere turned into a ball of ice. “Waterbenders can bend all kinds of water. With practice and determination we can refine our skills and create ice. It might be easier for waterbenders in the Northern and Southern tribes, but this is something we have to work at. Metal is just refined earth, right? Just keep refining your earthbending skills and working them and before you know it, you’ll be working with a ball of metal rather than a ball of earth.”

He tossed the ice ball at Pidge. She caught it and looked at it. She seemed to contemplate what Curtis had said until a look of realization came over her. “Oh! I think I get it now. Thanks Curtis.” She gave him back the ice ball and went over to where Hunk was trading with the villagers.

Hunk looked up at her and smiled. “Hey Pidge. How was the waterbending training going?”

“Curtis gave me a lot to think about in terms of metalbending.” She said. “How is everything here?”

“Interesting as usual. Lance wants to stay here for about a week. He sent Allura a letter and wants to see if he gets a letter back from her.”

“Ah, okay. If you need me I’ll be by the animals.” 

“Okay. You do that.”

Pidge walked over to where the animals were peacefully sleeping in the mildly humid afternoon air and sat by one of Kuro’s legs. She formed a ball of dirt between her hands and very solely worked on it. She was going to see if she could do what Curtis suggested and refine it. She was going to work with this dirt and see if she could pick at it until all she had left was a ball of metal particles.


	256. Lazy days (Cat-tron AU II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of the cats being cats. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The afternoon sun was wonderfully warm and Shiro was more than happy to sleep the rest of the day away. He could too. The Japanese bobtail lived in a nice house near the senior gardening club and his owner, a lovely old Japanese lady, with a love for both Shiro and Keith. She had been overjoyed when Shiro just walked into the house while carrying the very confused looking kitten.

He yawned and stretched out a little, making his bell collar jingle a little. He heard the backdoor side open, and Shiro looked up to see the old lady walking out with a little silver dish. “There you are Shiro.” She cooed as she placed the dish by the back door, giving it a little shake. “Come and get your lunch.”

Shiro got up and happily walked over to the old lady first, quickly rubbing up against her leg and getting several pats from her, before going for the dish. Dry food. Shiro wasn’t a huge fan of dry food, but did like how it crunched in his mouth. He only took one mouthful before a black fur ball quickly zipped under his chin and quickly ate some dry food.

“You okay their Keith?” Asked Shiro.

“Can’t talk. Food time.” Muttered Keith through a mouthful of food. The little Burmese had a habit of stuffing as much food in his mouth as he could before he ran off to some quiet corner of the yard to sleep it off, or under the kotatsu if their owner had the blanket sides down and the heater on. It was wonderful in winter and the two cats would often hide there with her during the cold months.

Shiro rolled his eyes and nudged Keith’s head out of the way so he could get some more food too. Keith huffed, but reluctantly moved out of the way. Keith decided he would much rather sit on the old Lady’s lap and let her pat him instead. The lady was very happy with this and gently rubbed behind Keith’s ear, making him purr.

“Such a good kitty.” She said. “Now you be a good little brother now. Don’t bully Shiro.”

Shiro grinned and looked over at him. “Yeah Keith, be nice to me. I’m missing an arm.”

“Screw you too Shiro.” Grumbled Keith.

“Don’t swear in front of the Lady.” Warned Shiro.

Keith huffed and got off her lap before running off past the koi pond. His antics just made the old lady laugh and she went about collecting the now empty dish and making her way back inside. Probably going to do some more cooking. She always made really nice sweet foods. They were small, round, and soft.

He smiled a little to himself and stretched. Now that he was full again, he was going to take a nap with Keith. He found Keith in his napping spot behind the koi pond water feature. Keith liked to stretch himself out as long as possible when he napped. Shiro just saw this as an opportunity to grab hold of the younger cat and snuggle the hell out of him. Which is what he did.

Keith whined and hissed a little for about 10 seconds before he gave up and just let Shiro cuddle him. “You are annoying.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and licked the top of his head. “And you’re stubborn. You just going to hang out in the garden today?” 

“Eh, I might go for a walk…”

“By the farm?” Asked Shiro in a teasing tone.

“Heck no! Those cows are freaking scary! And huge! Like, seriously! Spooky!” Said Keith. “They can step on you…”

“So, you’re still going to go there anyway, right?”

“... Maybe. After my post lunch nap.”

Shiro chuckled and happily nuzzled Keith’s face, making the younger cat whine and flail around a little before he reluctantly gave up and just huffed, before falling asleep.

***

A typical day on the McClain dairy farm was pretty much the same for the resident cats. They would usually wake up in their miscellaneous hay stacks and either headed outside to warm up or would go and check to see if the cows were going to get milked.

Lance almost always zipped down into the barn and would diligently watch the farmers herd the cows in for milking. The cows were sweet most days and were used to the cats existing around them. So they were happy enough to let them get really close to the milking buckets. The farm was automated, but the farmers would hand milk their own personal milk. It just meant if they turned their back Lance could shove his face into the bucked and absorb the milk like a sponge.

He’d then have to escape to the house to take a nap on the back porch. If he was lucky, he’d be given some fish or some meat from a farmer. Maybe a few pats or a belly rub? Either would be nice.

He yawned and stretched out a little, wiggling his toe beans a few times before he fell into a milk coma. As was his typical daily ritual. After what only felt like a few minutes, he was awoken by a slap to the face.

“Meow?!” Lance quickly looked up and flailed his limbs around. He paused when he saw the black burmese sitting in front of him. “Oh, hey Keith. Ever consider not slapping me awake like an asshole?”

“Nope.” The black cat sat in front of Lance and tilted his head. “So…”

“So?”

“Are we going to go exploring and stuff?”

Lance’s ears twitched. “Huh? Why? Don’t you wanna do that stuff with Shiro?”

“Shiro doesn’t want to go too far from the house for a while.” Said Keith. “After losing his leg he just wants a boring life. Which is boring. I don’t like it. It’s boring. So let’s go exploring.”

“But I am tired.” Whined Lance as he stretched out.

Keith huffed and jumped on Lance’s belly, making the other yelp and kick out. “Don’t care.”

“Jerk! I’m going to bite your ear!”

“Have to catch me first fatty!” Keith quickly took off down the road. Lance quickly took off after him. He was not fat. Just a little bloated from the full cream, unpasteurized, warm milk. Keith didn’t have to be a little jerk about it.

The two of them ended up running down the driveway, and Keith was a good distance in front of him. He jumped up onto the ancient cobblestone fence, and kept running. However, the sudden appearance of a black cat on the fence startled one of the younger dairy cows out in the field.

“MOOOOO?!”

“MEOW?!” Keith got startled by the cow, jumped straight up into the air and launched themselves off the fence and onto the ground. 

Lance took this opportunity to jump on Keith and pin him down. “Ha! Got you! Can’t believe you got scared by a cow.”

Keith pouted and lightly smacked Lance in the face with his paw. “Shut up. It was loud. I don’t like loud noises.”

Lance rolled his eyes and got off of Keith. He then climbed up onto the fence just in time to see the cow that mooed at Lance quickly walking back to where the majority of the freshly milked cows were. He chuckled a little and looked down at Keith. The black cat huffed and climbed up next to him, cleaning his paws.

“I don’t know how you can stand living here.” He muttered. “Cows are loud and annoying.”

Lance rolled his eyes again. “You’re loud and annoying.” Keith huffed and turned his nose up at Lance, and walked along the fence. Lance chuckled and happily followed him. “So, why did you walk all the way out here? Why not go to see Allura?”

“I don’t like people.” Said Keith. “Queen Melenor keeps touching me and so does King Alfor. I don’t like it. It sucks. I only like it when the old lady I live with pats me.”

“Yeah, how’s that going?”

“It’s fine. She makes these weird soft round things.” Said Keith. “They smell sweet and are colourful.”

Lance loved colourful things. “Ooooo! I wanna see those! I wanna see those! They sound fun!”

Keith shrugged and sat right on the corner of the fence and started to groom himself. “They are okay. Have no idea what they are.”

“Ever tried eating one?”

“No. Why?”

“Because they smell sweet and are colourful.” Said Lance like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Duh.”

Keith rolled his eyes and looked away from the other cat. He flicked his tail in a dismissive manner. Lance pouted and didn’t appreciate the dismissal and got ready to pounce. He punched on Keith, quickly knocking them both off the fence and onto the ground. Keith yelped and started to kick and bite Lance. Lance kicked and bit back.

“Hey lovebirds! You done yet?” Called another havana brown cat. This cat’s fur was slightly lighter than Lance’s and she had green eyes. This was Lance’s older sister Veronica.

“We aren’t lovebirds!” Whined Lance as he sat up. Keith quickly jumped up and skittered around Lance, glaring at the older cat.

Veronica just laughed and happily jumped down and walked around the two with her tail held high. “Nah, you two are totally are lovebirds. Little lovebirds that keep circling around one another. Play fighting all the time.”

“We don’t play fight!” Snapped Keith. Just to prove a point, he bit Lance’s ear.

“OW?!”

Veronica laughed and continued to circle them. “You two are idiots. Gonna play around all day again? Not gonna hunt for mice?”

“I’m full of milk.” Whined Lance.

“I’m full of cat food.” Said Keith.

“Ooo, what kind?” Asked Lance.

“Crunchy salmon.”

“Ah, I’m jealous.”

Veronica chuckled and flicked her tail in Lance’s face. “Well you better catch some mice soon. We’re all gonna bite you if you don’t start pulling your weight there greedy guts.”

Lance huffed and batted at his sister’s tail. “Rude. I’m not greedy. I am opportunistic.”

“Whatever. Mama wants to have us all together tonight.” Said Veronica. “Don’t you forget it.” She happily climbed up onto the fence and walked back to the farm house.

“What are you guys doing tonight?” Asked Keith.

Lance shrugged. “Mama likes to catch up with all of us every once in a while. A bit of familial grooming. You and Shiro do that right?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I like to help Shiro out with grooming anyway. He’s still struggling sometimes with one arm, and he isn’t a huge fan of his bell jingling all the time.”

“Yeah, why does he have that bell anyway?”

Keith shrugged. “That’s just something the old lady did. I think it’s just because he lost his arm.”

“Probably… Wanna hang out at Allura’s place?”

“Eh, if that’s all you can think of doing I’m going to go home.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Dramatic much? … Wanna bother the chickens on the neighbours farm?”

“Yes. Race you there.” Keith got up and ran as fast as he could to the neighbours farm. Lance let out a shocked noise before he quickly ran after him. Just another typical day in the quiet town.


	257. Goal achieved (Modern fantasy AU XXXIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final part of this AU. Hope you all enjoyed the misadventures of our fat elf friend... Also, holy crap, 33 chapters... That was kind of long. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“I… I did it…” Said Keith as he looked down at the scales.

Lance also looked at the scale and grinned. “You did it.”

“Heck yeah! I did it!” Keith high fived Lance with a smile. Over the past few… Lord knows how long, it felt like years, Keith had worked himself down from a soft elf boy back to his original physique. Which Lance had to admit was very hot. Just as hot as his chubby elf self.

“Good job Keith.” Said Lance. “All that hard work and dedication really paid off. I’m so proud of you.”

“Aw, thanks.” Keith looked down at himself and touched his stomach. He seemed pleased to see his abbs again. “I guess this means I can probably head home now? Kolivan’s gonna be pissed that we were gone for so long… He’s gonna kick my ass… off a cliff… again.”

“Again?” Questioned Lance.

“Yeah, not important. What is important is that I am skinny again!”

“Yeah, I guess this means you’re going to start packing now?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, and I gotta say goodbye to everyone before I go, but don’t worry, I’ll be back for fries every now and then.”

“Please don’t get fat again after you just lost all that weight…”

Keith stuck his tongue out at him and went about getting ready to go out and say goodbye to everyone else. He was so happy and Lance was happy for him too. Keith had reached his goal and was ready to go home to the other world. It was a bittersweet moment. He wanted to keep seeing Keith, but he wouldn’t stay here. He’d probably just be coming back for the fries and maybe to visit Krolia and his friends.

Lance flopped down onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling as he heard Keith happily walk by and out the door. The thought of Keith leaving left Lance feeling empty. He had grown very fond of the once chubby elf. He might not have been the brightest and was addicted to french fries, but he was nice. He made each day fun, if not a little stressful.

He’d miss seeing Keith in the morning and cooking for him. He’d miss working out with Keith and helping him get healthy. Keith was a really fun and interesting individual. It was going to be kind of quiet without him. Krolia was rather quiet and still scared the heck out of him. But he could put more effort into her getting over her ice cream addiction.

Just thinking of her seemed to summon her. She was leaving over the couch looking down at him. “Where did Keith go?”

Lance jumped a little and looked up at her. “Oh um… Keith hit his goal. He’s going to go back to your world soon…”

“Oh, that is good. Kolivan and the rest will feel better knowing that he is fine and that I am okay.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty close to your goal too huh?”

Krolia nodded and looked down at her stomach. There was still some pudge there. “Yes… Though I think most of my fat is somewhere else…”

“Yeah? Where?”

Krolia grabbed both of her breasts and squeezed. “My chest area is unfortunately still larger than it originally was. It makes wearing my breastplate uncomfortable.”

Lance’s face went bright red. “W-we can work on that!” He squeaked. “I um… S-some kind of arm stretch to reduce breast size! Working out the pectorals!”

Krolia nodded in agreement. “I shall leave you to develop an exercise regime that fits these requirements. I am going to go for a walk.”

“... You aren’t going to get ice cream from Bad Burger are you?”

“Of course not.” Said Krolia. “The ice cream machine at that place is always broken.” She put on a hat and walked out the door.

When she was gone, Lance relaxed into the couch again and quietly wondered what was going to happen when Keith was gone. He missed him already and he wasn’t sure why. Keith was cute, sexy, and a badass. Usually because of his chubby chaser preferences he found his clients less attractive as they dropped the weight, but with Keith… He never did. He still found Keith just as attractive now as he did then. He didn’t know if he should tell Keith how he feels about him since he’s kind of no longer his client.

Maybe he shouldn’t say anything? Keith probably didn’t like him like that anyway. Not that Lance could blame him. He was from the other world after all, and an elf. He probably didn’t find humans very attractive anyway.

***

In the park at dusk, everyone had gathered around to say goodbye to Keith. Even Nyma showed up, though she was standing behind a tree a bit away from everyone else and glared. Which was actually kind of nice. At least she cared enough to see him off.

Shiro quickly pulled Keith into a hug. “I’ll miss you!”

Keith squirmed a little in his arms. “I’ll miss you too Shiro. Now let me go.”

Hunk was trying hard not to cry. “We’re going to miss you buddy.”

“Come back anytime.” Said Pidge. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t.” Keith squirmed out of Shiro’s arms and looked over at Lance. He smiled gently at him and quickly embarrassed him in a hug. “Thank you Lance, for everything. I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too Keith… You know you can come back any time, right? My home is your home.”

“Thanks, and if you can get some magic in you you’re welcome to come to my world.”

“Yeah… Keith I…” Lance wanted to say something, but his throat went dry. “I hope you have a safe trip.”

Keith grinned. “Yeah. I’ll come back soon. Have some fries waiting for me?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Keith got pulled away by some of the other people who wanted to say goodbye to him. There were some dramatic tears and lots of hugs. When the hugs were over, Keith walked over to the door to the other world and opened the door. He looked behind him one more time and waved before he stepped inside and the doors closed behind him. Everything was quiet, but there was a little flash of light through the cracks in the door.

“Well, Keith made it home.” Said Krolia. “Hopefully he will make it back to Kolivan and inform him of the situation.”

Romelle sniffled. “Man, that was… I miss him already!”

“Me too.” Said Allura. “This world seems less fun now that he is no longer here…”

“We shouldn’t be upset!” Proclaimed Ezor. “We should be happy! Keith reached his goal despite being addicted to fries! If he can do this we can do it! Let’s celebrate Keith’s victory!” The others cheered in agreement. “By eating ramen!”

Zethrid put her hand on Ezor’s head. “No.”

“B-but!”

“... You may have a little ramen.” 

The group started to walk away from the door while talking about going out to celebrate somewhere. Lance stayed looking at the door, feeling some regret for not saying anything to Keith. Hopefully when Keith came back he could tell him the truth. That he… That Lance had feelings for him.

***

Back in the other world Keith quickly found his tribe and explained to Kolivan what happened. Kolivan was not very happy that both Keith and Krolia became victims to the human world’s trap, that is, food. Keith was quickly put back on the hunting party and was put with Thace and Ulaz to hunt for fish.

Keith went with them, but he was kind of disinterested in this and took to laying on a rock while the two older elves were standing in a stream with spears. Thace wasn’t very thrilled about Keith’s lazy attitude.

“Come on Keith.” Muttered Thace. “Get off your ass and help.”

“Humans get food from fancy cool markets called grocery stores.” Muttered Keith. “It was so good… They didn’t just have meat there. They had this tasty sweet stuff called chocolate. So much better than honey...”

Ulaz paused for a moment as he looked over at Keith. The man had always had a sweet tooth and was able to hoard honey for both its medicinal and consumption purposes. “Better than honey?”

“So much better than honey. Caramel too. It’s amazing.”

“How is it better than honey?”

“You have to taste it to understand.” Said Keith. He sighed and sat up, scratching the back of his head. “The savoury food they have is amazing too. Lance introduced me to white meat. I’ve eaten some pork, which was good. Bacon is amazing. Nice and salty.”

“... Salt?” Questioned Thace. 

“Yeah. Salt is delicious. Humans have so many different condiments, herbs, and spices. It’s delicious. Garlic is a gift from the gods. Rosemary too! It’s amazing! Seriously, when I go and visit Krolia you two should come with me. It’ll be amazing.”

Thace nodded a little. “So… Is red meat normal in the human world?”

“Thace!” Hissed Ulaz. “We talked about this. Red meat is only for emergencies when no other food is available.”

The other elf shrugged and crossed his arms. “I can’t help it. Red meat is delicious and I found I had a taste for it.”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, you might like this human food called... hamburgers. It’s a beef patty, some salad, maybe bacon, some sauce. Best of all? It comes with fries. Beautiful, delicious, golden ingots of perfection.” Keith felt his stomach growl. “Man, I miss fries… Oh! I actually know how to cook some! Lance taught me! Do we have any oil back at camp?”

“Yeah, but we don’t have potatoes.” Said Ulaz.

Keith sighed dramatically and flopped back onto the rock. “Damn it… We need to find potatoes… Potatoes are so good…”

“How does one make caramel?” Asked Ulaz.

Keith shrugged. “I think you use a thing called sweetened condensed milk?”

“... How does one condense milk?” Questioned Ulaz.

Thace shrugged. “Put it in a small waterskin?”

As the two older elves argued about how to condense milk, Keith thought back to cooking with Lance. It was fun. Just being around Lance was fun. He was always patient with him even when he did call him out of his bullshit. He wanted to eat fries with Lance again. Lance was a good guy. A friend. Someone he cared about. Suddenly the thought of eating fries again wasn’t all consuming in Keith’s mind.

Lance’s smile… Lance’s laugh… The way he cheered him on and the way he scolded him… Keith was feeling empty again. A similar empty feeling he got when he hadn’t eaten fries in a long time, but it wasn’t caused by the lack of fries this time. He didn’t know he could feel like this when he wasn’t craving those delicious golden ingots. He missed Lance. A lot.

“Hey, do you think that Kolivan would be okay with me going to the other world to visit Krolia so soon?”

Ulaz shrugged. “Maybe? But he probably will send someone with you so you don’t get tempted by fries and get stuck in the human world again.”

Keith pouted. “Fine.”

***

It had been a few weeks since Keith had left for the other world, and Lance was still doing his job taking care of his other patients. Things were pretty intense. He had started to get Sendak and Shiro into boxing each other. It was really intense, but they both got a good work out and it was an excuse to beat each other up. The pool got fixed so Lance was able to get Hunk, Plaxum and Shay into swimming. Shay preferred to float, but this was a start. Lotor had become quick friends with Ezor, Acxa, Zethrid, and Narti. They would often go on walks and hikes together. Lance was able to get Pidge and Moontow to do obstacle courses by hiding shiny things in the course. Romelle and Allura seemed to be receptive to dance classes, so he let them do that. He even managed to talk to Nyma by accident and gave her some pamphlets about healthy cooking classes she could attend.

In retrospect, intense was an understatement. Lance felt wiped out and dead tired. Krolia was still living with him and, although still kind of scary, she would help him keep his home clean and actually made sure he was taking care of himself. It was nice that she was doing that. She seemed to be paying him back for helping Keith.

After seeing his latest patient, Lance checked the clock and was happy to see that it was lunch time. “Hey Rachel, I’m heading out for lunch now.”

“Okay Lance. Bring me back a bottle of juice?”

“Orange or apple?”

“Pineapple?”

“Yeah sure.” Lance headed out and walked down the street. He passed a Bad Burger and paused. He couldn’t remember how many times he and Keith went there, even after they found out that Nyma worked there and was actively trying to sabotage them. For old time sake Lance decided to go there for lunch.

He got a small meal and sat at an empty booth next to a group of men. Lance picked up a chip and thought about Keith. He felt kind of bad that he had to return to a world without his favourite food. But he was sure that Keith was probably cooking some fries up right now and introducing the other elves in his group to fries.

“Hey, slow down already.” Muttered a voice from the table next to him.

“Let me eat my bugers in peace. You just eat your caramel sundae. Stop judging me. Where is Antok?” 

“In the bathroom. He drank too much of that soda stuff. He really likes the black one, even though it looks like a plague potion. Who took all my nuggets?”

“Wasn’t me.” Said a familiar voice. “All I want is the fries.”

Lance quickly whipped his head around and stared in shock as he saw Keith, stuffing his face with fries with what he assumed were other elves from his group. Keith was a little chubby again and the other elves didn’t seem too skinny either.

“K-Keith?!”

Keith looked over at Lance in surprise. “Lance! I was going to come and see you when we were done here. By the way, this is Thace, Ulaz, Kolivan, and Antok is in the bathroom.”

Lance was happy to see Keith again, but he was shocked to see he had fallen off the wagon and gained weight again. It couldn’t have been healthy to keep losing and putting on weight like that.

“I… I’m glad to see you again, but… What the heck happened?”

Ulaz put down his ice cream and cleared his throat. “Well, Keith wished to visit Krolia and Kolivan,” he gestured to the intimidating looking man eating chicken nuggets. “We wanted to make sure that Keith wouldn’t fall into his vice and get stuck in this world again but… It seems as though we have all been tempted by this world’s foods. For me it’s caramel. For Thace, hamburgers. Kolivan, chicken nuggets. Antok, sodas… And of course Keith still loves fries.”

Lance face palmed. “Are you serious? Keith, I thought you knew better than this.”

Keith pouted. “Well yeah, but I know I can lose weight this time. I did it once and I can do it again! I can eat as many fries as I like and then I can burn the fat all over again!” Lance kind of wanted to strangle Keith at this point. “Plus… I kind of missed you…”

“... What?”

Keith shrugged. “I kind of figured that you might not like it if I was here just for a visit and you know… stayed… So I put some weight on and… Will you help me lose weight again?”

Lance was kind of shocked, but kind of flattered. “Keith… You didn’t have to gain weight just to keep being with me. I um… I kind of like you…”

“I like you too.” Said Keith. “It was boring in the other world without you there and-”

“Are you two going to kiss already or what?” Asked Kolivan. This made the two men blush. Kolivan just shrugged and ate some more nuggets. “What? You two clearly like each other. I’ve only just met the human and I know you two like each other.”

“W-well it wouldn’t be professional if I dated a client…” Mumbled Lance.

“You want to date me?” Asked Keith in surprise.

“Maybe…”

“... I kind of want to date you too… You like me even though I’m fat?”

“Of course I do… So I can’t help you lose weight.”

Keith was shocked. “What?!”

“We can’t have that of a client patient relationship anymore if we are going to date. I can still help you lose weight, but as your boyfriend instead?”

Keith blushed a little. “C-can I kiss you?”

Lance blushed a little as he moved a little closer to Keith. They leaned in close to each other, their lips gently touching. It was soft and chast, and Lance was kind of surprised that his first kiss with Keith was in a fast food place.

“What’s all this?” Asked a new voice. Lance looked up to see a giant of a man looking down at them.

“Hey Antok.” Said Thace. “This is the mysterious Lance that Keith has been talking about. They are also now dating… And Lance is going to help us lose weight.”

“Ah, okay. I can’t figure out how we put on this much weight so quickly.” Antok picked up his large soda from the table and quickly drained it. “... These cups are so small… I’m getting a refill.” He wandered over to the free refill machine. As he did so, Lance facepalmed. He was going to have to teach these elves how to diet.


	258. Tex talk (X-men AU XXIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! Here is my gift from me to you! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Lessons quickly started up again and everyone settled back into the routine of school. Curtis was in a few of Lance’s classes, so Lance would make an effort to help him out in class when he could. Curtis seemed grateful for the help. Things were fine for a while until they had to do a rather interesting assignment for history, and by interesting it was pretty terrible. Their teacher asked them to either do a detailed family tree going back to at least their great grandparents, or pick one person in their family and write a report about them. 

At lunch Lance couldn’t help but notice how down Keith looked. “Hey man, you okay?” He asked. “I know that the food isn’t the best here, but it can’t make you feel that bad.”

“I’m an orphan.” Muttered Keith.

“Yeah? So?”

“How can I do the history assignment?”

“... Right. Maybe talk to the teacher? Maybe Adam or Shiro?”

“I guess…” Muttered Keith as he poked at his soup. “I just… It’s depressing, you know?”

This was an interesting development. Lance decided to take a chance. “So… You think you might want to meet them? Maybe know what happened to them?”

Keith shrugged. “I guess? I mean… I’d like to know who they are… Ask them some questions, or maybe just get some closure if they happen to be dead.”

“I could find them for you.”

“Yeah? Sure. Good luck with that.” He said sarcastically.

Lance pouted. “Hey, I am good at finding things. Just give me a few days and I can have something.”

“Do I need to do a DNA test?”

“Nope.”

“Good. I don’t need the government having my DNA on file.” He grumbled and went back to eating his soup.

Lance was kind of excited that Keith wanted to know about his family. It was all Lance could think about for the rest of the day through classes. As soon as the school day was over, Lance went back to his room and happily jumped onto social media to contact Tex. Tex hadn’t replied but he was online.

**Lance**   
_Hey, have you decided if you want to meet Keith yet?_   
_I was talking to him and he is interested in meeting his parents._

After about a minute he got a reply.

**Tex**   
_Are you sure?_

**Lance**   
_Yep!_   
_He really wants to meet you_   
_Or at least talk to you_   
_That’s really good though, isn’t it?_

**Tex**   
_I guess_

**Lance**   
_You guess?_   
_Look, this is a really big thing and Keith has some trust issues_   
_If you want to talk to him you need to be 100% prepared to stay involved in his life_   
_If that’s what he wants._   
_He’s just like that_   
_He also might be pissed that he got abandoned..._   
_So you’re going to have to be prepared to get yelled at_

**Tex**   
_Understandable_   
_I want to meet him_   
_Are you sure he will want to meet me?_

**Lance**   
_I think he does._   
_Give me a few days to set something up?_   
_I’ll let you know when it’s already._   
_Are you good with that?_

**Tex**   
_I’m good with that_

**Lance**   
_Okay_   
_I’ll be in contact soon_

Lance got off his phone and smiled a little up at the ceiling. Now he just had to wait a few days to figure out how he was going to bulllshit his way into figuring out to logically explain how he found Keith’s dad. That was going to be tricky. Hopefully he could wave it off with a simple extension of his powers. He doubted that Keith would believe him though.

“What are you so happy about?” Asked Hunk as he looked over at him. “Got a girlfriend?”

“Ha, ha, very funny. I talked to Tex and he wants to meet Keith, and Keith has said he wants to meet anyone in his family… I’m kind of ready for him to break something because Keith will ask about his mother, and Keith’s already met Krolia so…”

“Ah, okay.” Hunk sat on his bed and frowned a little. “You have any idea what you’re going to tell him?”

“Not a clue.”

***

It had been several days since Keith had talked to Lance about his desire to have contact with his parents. He’d actually forgotten about it and just asked his teacher if he could do what he usually did in these circumstances; write a report on Shiro. He was the closest thing he had to family anyway. He’d pretty much already written the report the day that he got the assignment since he had memorised all the key points of his life thus far. He only had to update it with new information from the last time he had to do this.

So right now he was in the garage getting ready to finally take his motorbike out for a spin. It had taken him the better part of two years to get it perfect, and now… It’s perfect. He put on his helmet and quickly took it out for a spin around the school. He couldn’t go too fast since school was out and people were walking around.

It was still a freeing feeling. He loved the feel of wind blowing through his fur. He couldn’t wait to take it out on the weekend and go down a highway. That would be fun. Though he didn’t really have much of a destination to go to anyway. Maybe he could ask Lance if he wanted to go somewhere? If not him, then maybe Pidge of Hunk?

He drove around the school a few times before he went back to the garage. Coran was there, smiling brightly. “How did it go?”

“Smoothest ride I’ve had in a long time.” Said Keith. He got off the bike and brushed a bit of dirt off the front. “She’s perfect.”

“Glad you like it.” Said Coran. “Well, now that you’re done, she’s all yours.”

Keith grinned. “Thanks. Can I take her out over the weekend? I want to see how she goes on a highway.”

“Only if you have all the safety gear.” Said Coran. “Do you have a proper jacket and pants? A good helmet?”

“Um…”

“I think this weekend you should go into town and buy the proper gear. It will give you time to plan out a good route for your trip.”

“I guess…” Keith was a little disappointed, but he could deal with it. He’d find an interesting route to drive and find a helmet that fitted well on his head that didn’t hurt his ears too much. He’d get a nice padded jacket too.

Lance walked into the garage and grinned. “Hey Keith, I think I found your dad.”

“... You what?”

Lance grinned and proudly showed Keith his phone. “Here. His name is Tex. He owns a cattle ranch and I strongly believe he is your dad.”

Keith frowned and looked at the facebook page. It was for a ranch like Lance had said. He saw a few pictures of this Tex guy and he looked human enough. He would have thought that his parents would have looked at least purple. 

“So, why do you think this guy is my dad?”

Lance shrugged. “Well, I took into consideration the stuff you said, got in touch with Pidge, she did some hacking and sleuthing. I followed up on some leads, asked the guy if he had a wife or girlfriend that could have had a kid and hey presto, this guy is probably your dad.”

“...” Keith didn’t really know what to think. Could this guy really be his dad? Why did he abandon him? Did he not want him? He was more confused than anything. “Is he a mutant?”

“Nope. All normal human from what I can tell.” Lance paused for a moment. “Actually, I didn’t really ask… Oh well. Maybe you can ask him?”

“Ask him? I… I don’t know Lance…” He muttered. “Even if he is or isn’t I… What if he isn’t?”

“But what if he is? Do you really want to miss out on this opportunity?”

Keith looked at his phone and frowned. He didn’t know what to do or say. Should he do this? Shouldn’t he? He kind of wanted to see him but he was kind of scared. What kind of answers would he get for his questions? Would this guy know who his mother was?

“I… I guess I would like to meet him…”

Lance grinned. “Perfect. It might be best to start with emails? You don’t have social media, do you?”

“No one I want to connect with…”

“That’s fair. So maybe start with emails? You have an email, right?”

“Yeah, I do…”

“Okay, I’ll let him know to expect an email soon.”

“Okay… I’m going to go to my room…” Keith pretty much just wandered off to his room, with Lance quickly following behind him. He was talking, but Keith didn’t really hear him. He walked into his room and lied face down on his bed. This was kind of overwhelming. Was this guy really his dad? Why didn’t he want him? Does he hate mutants? Was he some kind of affair baby and being born a mutant would have blown her infidelity? What if he hated him? 

The mattress dipped next to him and Keith quickly looked over at Lance, who had followed him into his room and sat next to him. He had a concerned look on his face. “Hey… You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to…”

“I… I do. I need closure…” Said Keith. “I… I’ll write him an email.”

“That’s good… Sit up for a second?”

Keith frowned but sat up. As soon as he did, Lance wrapped his arms around him and hugged him. Keith froze in surprise and kind of just let it happen. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had hugged him, that wasn’t Shiro. He very slowly raised his arms and hugged back. It was… warm. It felt really nice.

Eventually Lance pulled away. “Feeling a little better?”

“Yeah, a little… Thanks.”

Lance smiled warmly at him. “Any time.”

***

It was late at night and Tex was enjoying a beer as he watched the TV. He wondered if he was ever going to get in contact with Keith. He didn’t know if he should, but he wanted to. He’d been wanting to meet his son ever since Krolia confessed what had happened and why she had ghosted him for so long. 

His phone made a noise letting him know he had an email. He picked it up and had a look at it to see if it was a shipping update for some equipment he ordered a few days earlier. 

**Subject; I think I’m your son?**

Tex had never clicked on an email so fast.

_So, my friend Lance thinks you might be my dad. My name is Keith. I have a lot of questions and I don’t really know where to start. For all I know this could be some elaborate catfish, but I don’t think Lance would do that. But I guess I should start by asking the big question. Why didn’t you want me? I mean, I get it I’m a purple cat but do you hate mutants? Are you a mutant? Do you know who my mum is?_   
_If this is the completely wrong email address I’m really sorry. I just want to know why no one wanted me the second I was born. Like, if you didn’t want me couldn’t you have had an abortion? Sorry. Morbid question I’m just really confused and I don’t really know what happened. I’m sorry._   
_Keith._

Tex was both relieved and kind of sad when he read that email. He finally got some kind of communication with his son and he was so confused and hurt. Tex was also hurt about what happened to Keith. He didn’t blame Krolia, she did what she thought that would keep him safe. He continued to drink his beer as he thought about how to reply to Keith. He’d have to think about it.


	259. Implications (Hellpoint AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Apparently the most wonderful time of the year makes me want to write horror... Enjoy your horrible present! Also the song in this is sung to the tune of "One little, two little, three little Indians". Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Deep within the courtyard of the prison section of the station an extremely thin ermite sat on top of a metal ball sculpture that was surrounded by tall spikes. They were quietly humming a tune to themselves as they very carefully worked on their art project. “One little, two little, three little planets… Four little, five little, six little planets… Seven little, eight little, nine little planets... Orbiting the sun…”

Their art project, if it could even be called that, was an orb covered in blue and green iris’. On this station, if someone didn’t have a checkpoint tag, they died and stayed dead. Perfect for harvesting things like food and art supplies. Once they were done they very carefully hung the orb up on a metal pole sticking out from the orb.

Animalistic grunting made them turn around to see a Galra ermite clawing their way up the side of the orb. It must have been painful. Strips of their skin had been peeled away or pulled back with rusty looking hooks. There were clear signs of infection deep in the muscle tissue. It must have been excruciating.

The Galra made a strangled noise and coughed up blood, but they pulled themselves up next to them. Each breath they made seemed strangled, but they seemed content to sit by them. The thinner ermite slowly tilted their head at them in a questioning manner. The Galra nudged them and made a gurgling noise. Flecks of blood flew from their mouth and hit the other on their heavily bandaged face.

The thin ermite smiled a little at them and went about doing their morbid art project. “One little, two, little, three little planets. Four little, five little, six little planets. Seven little, eight little, nine…” They glanced over at the Galra for a few seconds before they roughly shoved them off the orb. 

The Galra let out a shocked noise before they made a pained and excruciating noise. The thin ermite took their art supplies and climbed down the orb. The Galra had been impaled by one of the spikes. Right through their stomach. Their guts were wrapped around the spike and spilled out around them. Like a bunch of grotesque red streamers. The Galra was still alive, but they wouldn’t be for long. Many ermites didn’t have checkpoints. So this one would be perfect for food and decorations.

The thin ermite grabbed a thin wire and wrapped it around the Galra’s neck. They slowly started to pull, watching the wire slice into their throat like it was made of clay. “Nine little planets. Orbiting the sun... The sun…” They sniffled a little and started to sob. “The sun… I… I want to see the sun again…”

There was a wet crack and the Galra’s head came clean off and didn’t turn to red gel. They managed to catch it before it hit the ground. The ermite looked at it for a moment. They poked at the eyes and rolled the yellow orbs around in their sockets. They stuck their fingers in other holes in the decapitated head like the mouth, ears, and neck stump. Their shoulders dropped a little and they dropped the head into their art supplies before they pulled out a sharp piece of metal. They were hungry.

***

“So this is the prison huh?” Questioned Pidge. “It looks pretty messed up… Then again the whole place is messed up.”

“Yeah, it kind of is…” Muttered Allura. “Well, the sooner we get this done the sooner we can leave.”

“Guess we aren’t splitting up?” Asked Hunk.

Allura shook her head. “Even if we can’t die at the moment I don’t think any of us really want to die… If we stick together we can get this done faster.”

“Where do we even start?” Asked Lance. He looked around and sighed. “Look, I’m only saying this because we’ve been killed a few times already, but maybe we should leave? I know, unpopular opinion.”

“If we don’t do this and leave what happens if we don’t remove these properly?” Asked Shiro as he gestured to his own checkpoint marker on his chest. “If we somehow get killed would we end up back here? That’s not something I want to risk.”

“... Yeah, okay. That’s fair.” Muttered Lance. 

As they walked through the halls of the prison they quickly noticed the scratches and scribbled that were prevalent on the walls. Some were words in alien languages and some were symbols. Hunk suddenly stopped as he looked at a symbol scratched into the wall. 

“Hey, doesn’t this look like the big dipper to you?” He asked. “Looks like the big dipper to me.”

Allura frowned. “The what?”

“The big dipper. It’s a constellation you can see from Earth.” Said Pidge. She also looked at the scratch and frowned. “I guess it could be the big dipper? Kind of looks like it, but you never know.”

“True…”

The group continued to walk, but Lance lingered on the scratch mark of the big dipper. It really did look like the big dipper. It sent a chill down his spine. Something about that really didn’t sit right with him.

“Lance!” Called Keith. “Keep up!”

“R-right!” Lance quickly followed him and continued to look out for different constellations as he walked. They were moving quickly but cautiously, and Lance was looking out for anything that can kill them. So Lance didn’t really have time to look out for different constellations, and they probably could have been alien letters, but he thought he saw corvus, scutum, and norma.

“Does anyone else smell that?” Asked Pidge. “Smells like rot…”

“Like something has died…” Muttered Allura. “This is disgusting… What happened here?”

The group walked into what seemed to be a courtyard and froze in a mix of disgust and horror. In the center of the courtyard was a large metal ball surrounded by spikes. Coming out of the metal ball were nine polee. The poles seemed to be randomly sticking out of it and hanging from the poles were weird and misshapen things.

“What the actual fuck is this?” Asked Pidge. For once, Shiro didn’t bother scolding her for her blatant profanity. It was earned.

Something dripped onto Lance’s cheek, making him jump and look up. Hanging from a hook was a mutilated Galra skull. The hook entered through the nose and out the eye. The lower jaw was deformed and the tongue was hanging out freely through the neck. Lance couldn’t help himself. His stomach heaved and he vomited. After getting killed and rebuilt it seemed that his stomach was empty of everything but stomach acid and bile.

“Are you okay Lance?” Asked Shiro.

Lance pointed up at the skull. “W-why isn’t it goo? Like, why is it still… Shouldn’t that have turned to mush?”

The group was horrified to find that it was a skull. They took a closer look at the other shapes, equally disturbed to find that they were all body parts. There was even a torso circled by three arms all linked together like a ring. They also found the impaled and beheaded body of a Galra. The more disturbing part of that grotesque aspect of this corpse was the chunks of flesh bitten from their body. The stench of rot permeated the air around it. If there were any insects on this station they would have laid their eggs in the flesh long ago.

Hunk gulped and quickly looked away. “It… It doesn’t have a checkmark…” He said quietly. “I… I don’t think they have a checkmark so they can’t go back to the checkpoint.”

“Something ate it…” Said Lance. “Something ate that Galra…”

Allura looked sick. “W-well… I guess if some of the inhabitants can’t get to the garden and want to avoid being eaten by worms… But what the heck is this weird display? Some kind of symbol? The work of a mad man? What? I don’t understand…”

“Does it really matter?” Asked Keith. “We just need to get those stupid quintessence things and get the heck out of here… Fuck my mouth hurts…”

“So this isn’t some bastardization of some Altean religious thing?” Asked Pidge.

Allura shook her head. “No… Pidge, do you have a map so we can try and figure out where to go?”

Pidge pulled up a map. There were several ways they could go, and they decided it would be best to split into two groups of three to cover more ground. Hunk, Pidge, and Allura would go one way, and Lance, Keith, and Shiro would go another way. 

As they talked about it Lance continued to look at the morbid display above them. It made him feel sick, but at the same time there was some kind of familiarity to it. It was very unsettling. The groups separated and Lance kept a lookout for anyone trying to attack them. There was more frantic writing and scribbling on the walls.

“Are you doing okay Keith?” Asked Shiro quietly as to not get the attention of anything that might attack them.

“My mouth fucking hurts.” He growled.

“Well, when we get out of here we’ll try and get that fixed. Figure out if anything else happened to you.”

“Yeah, that would be good.”

The group passed a small building, which was probably some kind of store house, and heard something. It sounded like quiet talking and kind of melodic. They glanced through a window of the building and found an ermite humming to themselves as they bit the tips off their fingers and used the fresh blood to draw a mural on the wall.

“One little, two little, three little planets. Four little, five little, six little planets. Orbiting the sun...” They slowly droned out. The tune and the song made Lance freeze. He knew what this thing was singing… and it shouldn’t be possible. It was impossible for this thing to know that song. “Mercury, Venus and the Earth. Mars than Jupiter, and then Saturn. Uranus, Neptune, and then Pluto. Orbiting the sun…”

Something in Lance snapped when he heard that and he quickly moved away, shaking his head. “No…” He whispered. “No, no, no, no.”

“Lance, what’s wrong?” Whispered Shiro, trying to keep him calm. “You can’t panic right now. Just take some deep breaths.”

Lance shook his head. “D-didn’t you guys hear it? Didn’t you see what the fuck was out there?” He had to get away. He had to get away now. 

“Of course we did.” Hissed Keith. “So what?”

“Why does it know the planets? Our planets?” Asked Lance. “Why does that thing know our solar system well enough to build a fucking model of the solar system?”

Realization quickly dawned on the other two men and the implications. They also became increasingly worried, but couldn’t dwell on it too long, because the ermite stumbled out of the small room. It was giggling like a mad man, running their finger bones running over their face. It seemed ecstatic to see them there. Even if their face was mostly obscured by old and dirty bandages.

“I… I want to see the sun…” It rasped. “I want to… I want to see it… A-all that’s left is the black rainbow… I don’t… I don’t even… I… Everything is… It’s so dark…”

“Take them alive.” Said Shiro. “Maybe we can get some answers.”

Keith nodded in agreement. “Right.”

The ermite shook their head and started to scratch at their neck. “No… Not again… But again and again and again.” They mumbled. “I won’t… Not with you… You doomed souls… Do we even exist anymore? Did I ever exist? Are my memories even mine?” Their finger bones ripped through their neck. Blood sprayed everywhere and it kept digging into its own throat, pulling it open, ripping it apart. They gurgled and spluttered up blood before swaying and falling over in a bloody heap. Their body didn’t turn into gel.

“It’s face…” Said Lance quietly. “What does its face look like?”

Shiro and Keith gave each other concerned looks, but Shiro crouched down and removed the bandages from the ermite’s face. It was hard to tell if they were human or just humanoid. They looked like they had gouged out one eye and maybe had their nose cut off at some point. Their ears had been burnt off and they looked like they had been partially scalped.

“... Why does it know our planets?” Asked Lance again. “Why the fuck did it know our planets?”

***

The others weren’t having too much luck either. They encountered several envoys. Those strange and disturbing creatures were shambaling around, crawling on the walls and such. They had been stealthy and tried not to engage with any of them if they could help it. As they did, Pidge noticed that they seemed to be following a pattern as they crawled on the walls.

“They look like they are avoiding something…” Muttered Hunk.

“Agreed.” Said Allura. “Maybe a trap? We should try and be careful…”

“Perfect. We have to avoid traps now.” Muttered Pidge.

A sudden shriek rang out and the trio turned around to see an envoy galloping towards them. Hunk quickly readied his bayard and quickly started to shoot at it. Pidge quickly stepped back and bumped into a wall. As the envoy fell to the ground dead, Pidge let out a cry of shock. Allura and Hunk turned around just in time to see Pidge falling through a trapdoor through the wall.

“PIDGE!!!” Cried both Hunk and Allura and shock. They tried to grab her, but the wall swung shut and locked with a click. Not even Allura with her Altean strength could pry it open. Pidge had been taken.

***

Pidge hit her head hard when she fell through the wall. It was probably some kind of air vent. She passed out about halfway down. When she woke up she found that she was resting on a cot. There were a few people sitting and standing around. They were talking in hushed tones. Pidge was unsure if she survived the fall or if they found her body at a checkpoint and dragged her here.

As her eyes adjusted she recognised one of those people as Fewbar. Everyone else she couldn’t recognise, and they were all wearing masks anyway. One of the masked individuals noticed that Pidge was up.

“Oh good. You’re awake.” They said. “Hey everyone, they are up.”

The others quickly took note and the shorter ones walked over and asked if she was okay. Fewbar just made a dismissive sound. “She’s fine. It isn’t the first time one of you fell into an ermite trap.”

“Those were for the ermites?” Asked Pidge.

One of the mask wearers nodded. “Yes. We’ve been catching them for a while now and we’ve been trying to rehabilitate them. Their minds are pretty gone, especially his mind… And we haven’t been able to get to her at all…”

The others nodded in agreement. The taller mask wearers seemed dismissive. “We can’t do anything… It’s fucking pathetic. Are we going to show Pidge the video?” They said her name in an almost sarcastic manner.

“What video?” Asked Pidge.

Fewbar held up a remote and pressed a button. Several screens suddenly flickered on, showing a face. One face that Pidge was all too familiar with, but not. They were older, their hair was longer, their face was scarred in several places. But it was unmistakable. Pidge was looking as an older version of herself.


	260. Sleep Studies and Swimming Trunks (Highschool AU XIV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's getting help, and Lance is perving just a little bit. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“So hopefully we shall see you next week with the results.” Said the doctor.

Keith nodded, looking kind of tired, but kind of happy that this doctor was actually taking him seriously for once. He had been put off going to doctors because they usually just brushed him off for being a moody teen and referring him to a therapist for his insomnia, but this one seemed good. Adam did good finding them. They even helped set up the appointment with the sleep center. 

Shiro and Adam were waiting for him in the waiting room. They gave him concerned looks but when Keith smiled at them, they both relaxed. On the way to the car, Keith informed them about his appointment at the sleep clinic. Both adults seemed relieved that this was happening.

“Hopefully we can get to the bottom of this.” Said Shiro.

Adam nodded in agreement. “It’ll be good if one of us can get some sleep. Let Kolivan know you can’t go to work if it’s on one of your shifts.”

“I’m going to check it when I get home.” Said Keith. “You can drop me off there, right Adam? If not I’ll get a lift.”

“I should be able to give you a lift.” Said Adam. “Anyway, while we are out, want to get fast food for dinner? I’m thinking... fried chicken?”

“Yes!” Said Keith excitedly. “If I fall asleep in the car make sure whatever you get me is spicy. Spicy fried chicken.” It was a good thing that Keith said that too, because after about five minutes of driving, Keith fell asleep in the backseat. But at least when he woke up he had some still warm fried chicken waiting for him.

***

Keith was in high spirits when he went to school the next day, something that Lance seemed to quickly take note of. “Hey man, did something good happen?” He asked.

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to do a sleep study on Friday, so maybe I can figure out how or why I have trouble sleeping.”

“Yeah, that’s awesome. Congrats man.” Said Lance. “Did you let your boss know?”

“Kolivan’s cool with it. He’s tired of finding me asleep in the store room.

Lance chuckled a little. “Yeah, I probably would feel that way too…” He patted Keith on the back as they walked to their next class. “Good for you man. What do you think is wrong with you anyway? Like, seriously? I don’t really know what causes insomnia. Like stress?”

“Yeah, stress, hormone stuff… You never know.” Said Keith. “The past doctors have just said it was all psychosomatic because I’ve been stressed with Shiro being overseas and not growing up with a mum or dad, but… Well I don’t think it’s all mental. Maybe I have a brain tumor?”

“Yikes. Maybe? Hopefully not.” Lance looked a little worried.

Keith just smiled at him and lightly nudged his side. “Hey, don’t sweat it. I doubt it’s a brain tumor. I think it will be fine.”

Lance seemed to calm down a little after that. “Yeah, ready to go to gym class?”

Keith rolled his eyes and held up his gym bag. “Yep.”

“Cool.” 

The two of them headed to the change rooms. As this was some rather fancy private school, they had a pool. Swimming was something the seniors did for their last sport unit for the year because it was pretty easy to do. They just had to do two laps and then they were free to just float around and not drown. Their gym teacher just had to make sure that everyone stayed alive.

Keith himself didn’t really care too much about it. Sure, he didn’t really have to do gym class since he had a doctor’s note, but he did like swimming. He just stayed in the shallows. He did swim the laps. The teacher just kept a very close eye on him.

After his laps, Keith moved to an empty lane in the shallows and leaned against the wall. Some other people in his class had already swam and were just relaxing in the water. Keith watched Lance swim, and he was really fast. He reminded Keith of a dolphin.

When he was done swimming, he came over to Keith and smiled at him. “Hey man. You did well.”

“Says you. You swim like a fish.”

“I have been told as much.” Lance grinned and pushed some of his wet hair out of his face and smiled at him. “So, do you like swimming?”

“It’s okay. Not a huge fan.” Said Keith. “Like, I know how to swim, but swimming just means I could drown if I don’t pay attention.”

“I guess…” Muttered Lance. “You look good.”

“I do?”

Lance immediately started to blush and looked embarrassed. “I um… I… You see I… I meant when you were swimming. You had good form. I… I’m just… I’m going to pretend this never happened and drown myself in the shallows…”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Calm down you weirdo. I’m literally just wearing swimming trunks.”

“And I am going to drown myself. Goodbye cruel world.” Lance attempted to drown himself in the shallows while Keith poked him a few times.

***

Okay, Lance had a problem. Yes, he still wanted Keith to strangle him even though he was still a very soft and sweet boy, but Keith was hot. Even in those swimming trunks. He loved the thought of Keith doing terrible things to him in the bathroom. He really did, and he felt ashamed for it. Heck, he felt ashamed for all the things he wanted to do with Keith since he was a nice, sweet guy. He felt really bad. Still wanted Keith to forcefully fuck his throat in the change room.

He kept looking over his shoulder at Keith in the change room when gym class was over. Keith was hot. It was so unfair. He had always liked Keith and would sneak a peek during gym anyway. Eventually had to pull his eyes away from that and got changed. When Lance was done, he looked over at Keith, he was dressed again and tying up his shoelaces.

“Hey Keith, you done yet?”

“Yeah.” Keith walked out after him, raking his comb through his hair.

“...” Lance was going to do it. “Hey, Keith? Can I brush your hair?”

“Huh?”

“You wore it back in a ponytail when we went swimming… And it looked nice.”

“Oh? Okay.” Keith handed the brush and elastic over to Lance, who happily combed Keith’s hair back into a ponytail. It was soft and thick. He really loved running his fingers through it. He wanted to just run his fingers through it all the time. “Does it look good?”

“Y-yeah. It really does. You have really nice hair…”

Keith blushed slightly. “Oh? Thanks… Um, I’m going to go and see Coran…”

“Do you feel sick?”

“No, I just feel tired. I’m always tired after gym.” Said Keith quietly. “I don’t want to go and fall asleep during class…”

“Yeah, okay fair. See you at lunch?”

“See you at lunch.” Keith smiled at him and walked towards the nurses office.

As he walked down the hall, Lance just sighed. Keith had a cute butt. A very cute butt… That looked even cuter when he was wearing those cute little swimming trunks… And maybe he wanted Keith to stuff them in his mouth and choke him while getting fucked.

He shook his head and walked to his next class. Which he didn’t really care too much about because Keith wasn’t there. He hoped that Keith would have a good nap. Keith was… Keith was very cute. Yeah, even when he was sleeping. Was that creepy? Probably. But Keith really was cute.

When lunch time came around, everyone was sitting around the table with their own packed lunches. Apart from Keith. He still keeps buying food from the cafeteria. Today was some kind of chicken schnitzel thing and a few vegetables. He didn’t seem too happy about it.

“Seriously, make yourself something before you go to sleep.” Said Pidge. “Can you not make yourself some kind of instant ramen or something?”

Keith shrugged. “I’m too lazy. Plus I have a hard enough time getting up and going in the morning.”

Hunk nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I feel you buddy… By the way, I like the new look.”

“Oh thanks Lance did it for me.”

“Yeah, Lance had always been good with hair.” Said Hunk. “Guess that’s what happens when you have older sisters.”

“Hey, Rachel’s only older than me by about a minute.”

Keith looked shocked. “You’re a twin?”

Lance nodded. “Yep. It was one of those, two egg deals. Not one egg split in two and made two babies.”

“And they were womb mates.” Said Pidge quietly with a grin.

Hunk chuckled. Oh my god, they were womb mates.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Wasn’t funny the first time.” He looked back over at Keith. “So yeah. My sister Rachel is… Over there.” He pointed to another table over the other side of the cafeteria. He caught the eye of his sister. He waved at her and she waved back. “That’s Rachel.”

“Oh… Is it weird having a twin?” Asked Keith. 

Lance shrugged. “Not really… I think the weirdest thing was that my parents tried to make sure that when we were really little we would have gender neutral stuff so they could dress us in whatever was clean… But like, when we became three or four we started to get more of our own stuff. I was cool with that. We did have some customized stuff too. It was cool.”

Keith nodded a little. “Right.”

“By the way Keith.” Said Pidge. “You just live with your brother and your brother in law, right? Can I ask what’s up with that?”

“...” Keith frowned a little and poked at his food. “It’s um… It’s kind of personal… Some bad stuff happened… But things are okay now… The twins thing is still pretty cool.”

Lance was happy to help Keith change the conversation. “Oh yeah, twins run in my family. My abuela on my papa’s side had three sets of twins, and on my mama’s side, twins happen every two to three generations. So, so many twins… I’m kind of worried that my kids are going to end up being twins one day… I don’t know if I can handle that.”

Pidge chuckled a little at that remart. “Yeah? Knowing your luck you’re going to end up being the proud father of quadruplets.” 

Lance shook his head and ate his food. “It’s times like this that I am glad I’m bisexual. I might end up with a man.”

“You’re bisexual?” Asked Keith in surprise.

“Yeah. I like men and women.” Said Lance. “Why? You not a fan of bisexual people?”

Keith looked a little shocked and quickly shook his head. “No, I… I don’t mind… I um… I think I’m gay so…”

Pidge snorted in amusement. “Man, I thought that you might be the only straight one here.” Keith gave her a confused look. “I’m ace, Hunk is pan, and Lance is a bisexual disaster.”

Lance gasped in mock shock. “Really? A disaster? You are absolutely right… Also, what did you mean that you think you’re gay?”

Keith blushed a little and kept poking at his food. “W-well I have been too busy doing stuff like work and school to really think too much about myself… It’s just stuff I just decided I can sort out when it happens… It’s um… It’s kind of easy to just see liking guys as normal when you’re living with two gay men.”

Hunk nodded. “Presumably less judgemental too.”

“Yeah, it is.”

Pidge sighed and tapped her fork against the table. “So… My brother and I made a rocket the other day. Want to set my backyard on fire this Saturday?”

“Heck yeah!” Said Lance. “You know me. I’ll take any excuse to get out of the house.”

“Sounds like fun.” Said Hunk. “I’ll make sure the first aid kit is stocked.”

Keith seemed a little unsure. “Um… I should be able to go… I don’t think I have work until later that night…”

Lance grinned at him. “Awesome. Let’s blow up a bunch of stuff.”


	261. Grocery shopping (Shop AU IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are happening! But Shiro might have accidentally done a thing or two that might screw up Keith's plans... Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith did not understand all the weird crap Lance was buying. Sure, he agreed to go grocery shopping with Lance, but still… He didn’t really understand why Lance had to buy so many weird organic things. It was so fancy. What was so wrong with guys buying ramen everything? He didn’t know.

Still, he pushed the shopping cart while Lance picked things off the shelf. Wasn’t frozen stuff just as good as the fresh stuff? It was kind of annoying. He didn’t really know why Lance was like this. It looked like Lance had already blown his usual budget a thousand times over. Eventually they got to the frozen food section and Keith felt in his element. Finally, he could get frozen pizzas and nuggets.

Lance was happily humming to himself as he looked over stuff. “So, anything you want to get?” Asked Lance cheerfully.

Keith shrugged. “This is pretty much my entire lunch and dinner right here.”

“You don’t cook much do you?”

“All I need is a microwave and an oven.”

“... Want some pizza pockets?”

“Yes… And dinosaur nuggets...”

Lance smiled at him in an amused way. “Oh really?”

“I’m an adult.”

Lance chuckled and happily grabbed the nuggets and some pizza pockets. “I haven’t had dinosaur nuggets in a long time… Should be fun.”

“Yeah. Should be.” Keith knew his pallet wasn’t very adult, but he didn’t mind. He was okay with trying new things. It was just tiresome to make those things. Lance covered the groceries for their trip and Lance was insistent on paying for everything.

As they walked out of the store, Lance smiled and looked over at him. “Hey, so want to get lunch before we leave? My treat?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You get to choose of course.”

Keith was a little surprised. “Oh? I um… I don’t know… Just somewhere cheap is good. I can eat pretty much everything. I once ate ramen made with boiled gatorade once. It was bright blue.”

Lance looked kind of horrified. “Right… Want to go to a cafe? There is a nice one over there?”

“Sure.”

They went to a cafe and sat outside at a table. This was really nice, and kind of felt like a date. Which made him blush a little. When was the last time he went to a cafe with someone for lunch? What should he order? Should he order something fancy to try and impress Lance? What would impress Lance anyway? This place seemed like a place that would serve drinks in mason jars.

“It’s a nice place huh?” Asked Lance. “The coffee here is really nice and the food is good too. It’s a Cuban run cafe, so it feels like home to me. So um, if it isn’t what you are used to…”

“No, it’s okay. I’m sure it’s nice.” He looked at the menu and frowned a little at the names of things he didn’t really know how to pronounce. He kind of wished that he paid more attention in Spanish class growing up. Keith just gave up and decided to just order beef nachos. Simple, and easier to share than burritos. If Lance wanted to share.

As they waited, Lance talked a little bit about some of the stuff that was happening at the store while Keith was at his other job at the garage. Apparently some kid came in with their dad, and while he was looking at some of the hats for his wife and they were talking about going to the aquarium.

“I love looking at the tropical fish.” Said Lance. “They are so pretty and I love them. Someday I want to go to the Great Barrier Reef just to see it. It sounds so beautiful and I don’t think TV gives it justice.”

“Oh yeah? You like fish and stuff like that?” Asked Keith.

“We know more about space then about what’s in the ocean.” Said Lance. He looked like he was going to say more when he got quiet. “Well, that’s what my sister told me…”

Keith nodded slowly. “Right… I’ve never been to an aquarium before.”

“Really?”

“Well, once when I was still in school for a field trip, but not since then. Maybe when we both have a day off we could go together?” Suggested Keith. “It sounds like it could be fun. Plus I know nothing about fish besides the fact I like them fried.”

Lance looked surprised and chuckled at his joke. “Yeah? You’d want to go with me?”

“Why not? I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s just something I thought we could do… Unless we aren’t friends?”

“What? No, we are friends.” Said Lance quickly. Before Lance could continue his train of thought the waitress came over with their food. Lance seemed to quickly dig into his sandwich to avoid talking about anything else.

“So, can we go to the aquarium?” Asked Keith as he scooped up some salsa on a chip.

Lance nodded a little. “Y-yeah. That sounds fun.”

***

Lance had been internally freaking out ever since Keith asked all about going to the aquarium together. He didn’t want Keith to think he was some weird nerd that likes fish. He just had so many fish facts swimming around in his head. He didn’t want Keith to think he was weird.

He was so stressed out about the whole thing that he ended up hiding in the store room the next day at work, trying to figure out how he could figure out a way for Allura to give him shifts on all the days Keith was off for the next month or two. Just long enough for him to forget about it. This wasn’t good.

“Hey, are you okay there Lance?” Asked Shiro as he walked in to grab some more books.

Lance jumped in surprise and nervously looked away from him. “Oh, I um… You see… I’m just… I’m nervous…” He also hadn’t really talked to Shiro after he found out that Shiro was seeing and dating other people. He didn’t dislike Shiro now, it just kind of hurt that Shiro didn’t like him that way.

“Yeah? Want to talk about it?” He asked. “Is it about Keith?”

“K-kind of…” Muttered Lance. “I… Keith wants to go to the aquarium with me…”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

Lance shrugged. “I-I don’t know… I just… I want him to have fun. What if he doesn't like it? What if he hates it and thinks it’s dumb and he doesn’t like me anymore? I mean, we are only kind of just friends now and I… I know I’m overthinking everything, but I just want Keith to like me…”

Shrio gave Lance a sympathetic look. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Sure, Keith can be a little rough, but he’s a good kid. I’m sure he’ll have fun.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” Asked Lance. “C-come with us! Please! W-when we go to the aquarium come with us. It’ll be less awkward if you do…”

Shiro seemed a little surprised. “Really? Are you sure?”

Lance nodded. “Yes. Please come with us… I… I’m painfully awkward around new people and I just know I’m going to say something and Keith will get pissed at me.”

The olderman just nodded and gave him a look of understanding. “Okay. Just send me the time and days. I’ll figure something out.”

“Thank you… I appreciate it.”

***

Keith had changed his fifth filter of the day and balanced a few tires before he went and grabbed a coffee in the break room. One of the other mechanics, Regris, was already there and downing what was possibly his tenth cup of coffee.

“Are you still addicted to caffeine?” Asked Keith.

“Shut up. It’s decaf.” He grumbled.

Before Keith could make a snappy comeback his phone started to ring. He didn’t get many people calling him, so he pretty much knew that it was Shiro. So he picked up as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Hey Shiro. What’s up?”

_“Hey Keith, is it a good time to talk?”_

“Yeah sure. What’s up?”

_“Lance invited me to go to the aquarium with you guys. Are you okay with that?”_

“... Oh…” Keith loved Shiro, he really did, but he wanted more time alone with Lance in a setting that he was really comfortable with. Shiro being there was okay, but Lance would probably just be pinning for Shiro the whole time. He wanted to get to know Lance.

_“I take it I’m probably not welcome?”_

“No, you can come I just… Shiro, I kind of have a crush on Lance…”

_“Oh…”_

“Yeah… So I’d rather be alone with him.”

_“Okay… But um…”_

“... You already said you were going, weren’t you?”

_“Maybe… Well he asked me and he looked really sad...”_

Keith sighed as he poured himself some coffee. “Fine, but if you are coming with us you’re bringing Adam or Curtis.”

_“Huh? Why?”_

“Because I want to spend time with Lance.” Said Keith. “If you’re there then you two will probably end up talking to each other and I might as well not go at all. You know I suck at social interactions.”

_“I know… Sorry. I’ll see if one of them wants to go.”_

“Yeah, okay…”

_“Sorry Keith…”_

“Not it’s fine… Really. Talk to you later, okay?””

_“Yeah, sure… Sorry again…”_

Keith hung up and sighed heavily. “Damn it Shiro…”

Regris smirked a little and looked up from his own coffee. “Trouble with your brother?”

“Shut up Regris.”


	262. Lykoi (Cat-tron AU III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More cat stuff! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy!

Hunk loved chickens. He really did. The Maine coon couldn’t help himself. They were cute and fluffy, and to be honest? He kind of liked napping with the birds. His owners only had three, but they were very nice chickens that would happily snuggle up to him. Especially on cold days and nights. Yeah, Hunk had his own bed inside, but he loved those hens too much.

He happily lounged by the fence as the hens packed away at some chicken feed spread out for them. As he did so, a particular Scottich fold wandered through the garden and over to him. 

“Hey Hunk.” Called Pidge as she wandered over to the fence. She pressed her face into the chicken wire and huffed a few times. “What are you doing?”

“Watching the chickens. What about you?”

“Escaping the small human with the sticky hands.” She muttered. “Sticky hand kids are the worst.”

Hunk scrunched his nose in disgust. “Yeah, ew. That’s gross. Hopefully they will grow out of that stage.

“Hopefully…” She sighed and licked her paws a few times. “So, have you seen Lance?”

“Nah, I think he’s hunting mice.”

“Aw, he was going to show me how to hunt mice. I have a few hanging around my house.”

“Ah, that’s annoying.” Said Hunk. “Want some help looking for him?”

“Yes please.”

“Okay give me a moment.” Hunk walked over to the door of the chicken’s enclosure. There was a pull bell, heavy enough that the chickens couldn’t peck it and ring it, but light enough for Hunk to ring it. He rang the bell a few times and an old man shuffled out of the house.

“Hmm?” He muttered. “Wazzat? Oh… Okay.” He shuffled over to the enclosure and opened it just enough for Junk to quickly slink out. “Now you stay out of trouble Hunk.” He muttered as he walked back into the house.

Pidge frowned a little. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah. Cool weather makes his joints sore.” Hunk yawned and stretched. “Okay, want to wander on over to the farm to see if Lance is there?”

“Yeah. If he isn’t there then he’s probably at Allura’s place.”

“Probably. Let’s go.” Pidge happily climbed up onto a fence and started to walk along with Hunk quickly following her. Neither of them really went too far into the dairy farm that often. Mostly because of the cows. They weren’t big fans of cows. They were loud and mooed a lot. But for the sake of visiting Lance they would.

They walked up the very long driveway, keeping an eye out for any brown cats that might come their way. They got to the main house and saw two larger, older cats laying near a flower pot in a sunny spot. They were Lance’s parents.

“Hi Mr and Mrs McClain.” Chirped Pidge. “How’s the farm life?”

Mrs McClain smiled at them. “Hello you two. Lovely to see you again. Farm life if good. I’m guessing you two are looking for Lance?”

“Yep.”

Mr McClian looked to the barn. “Last I saw him, Lance was over there with that black cat… Keith I think?”

“Okay. See you two later.” Said Pidge as she quickly walked towards the barn. Hunk quickly said goodbye to them and followed Pidge to the barn. They went to the barn and quickly found Keith and Lance standing on top of a hay bale. 

“Hey guys!” Called Lance. “What’s up?”

“Where are the cows?” Asked Hunk as he climbed up.

“All out in the field.” Said Lance. “Why do you ask?”

“Just checking.”

Pidge climbed up and lightly but Lance’s ear. “You jerk! You said you would come over and help me hunt mice!”

Lance whined loudly. “I was gonna go later! I found a Keith!”

Keith huffed and bit Lance’s other ear. “Am not a thing you can just find!”

Lance whined louder.

Hunk just sighed and tried to push the two other cats away from Lance. “Come on guys. Don’t be mean to Lance.”

“Yeah, don’t be mean to me! I am a baby!”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “I think I am the youngest.”

“... I am still a baby!” Whined Lance.

Pidge huffed and bit his tail. “Move it. Teach me how to hunt mice already!”

“Fine!” Lance quickly climbed off the hay bale and marched out the barn doors. “Everyone’s always biting my ears and tail. So mean. Everyone is ganging up on me…” Pidge quickly ran after him and jumped on his back before running off down the driveway. Lance made an indignant noise and quickly ran after her.

Hunk just sighed and looked over at Keith, who just looked kind of surprised that they had run off. “Well… I guess I should go home then?”

“Well, I guess…” Muttered Hunk.

“... Do you want to come over to my place?” Asked Keith. “Shiro might like the company?”

“Sounds nice.”

***

Hunk and Keith ended up walking back to Keith’s place. As they did they passed over a bridge a few lykoi cats were hanging out. The owners of the Diabazzel manor loved lykoi cats and after a few years they just kept breeding and breeding. Dozens of them would roam around the other side of the town. They knew better than to spend time on the dairy side of town.

The lykoi glared at the two passing cats and hissed at them a few times, just to try and get some passive aggressive point across.Keith hissed back at them, while Hunk did his best to hide behind Keith. Hunk was not a fighter.

When they were far enough away, Keith huffed. “Damn lykoi… I swear if I find the lykoi that attacked Shiro and made him lose his leg, I will bite their leg off!”

“Hey buddy, maybe chill a little? The lykoi are pretty nasty cats… They fight a lot and are just scary in general…”

“Don’t care. I’ll fight them.” Keith slipped through a hole in the fence and Hunk followed. 

The backdoor was open and the two cats went inside. The old lady was making those weird sweet past ball things. Shiro was sitting on the counter watching her. His stubby little tail was hanging over the edge and flicking slightly.

Keith quickly climbed up next to him. “Hi.”

“Oh, hi Keith.” Shiro licked his face which made Keith cringe.

“I’m here too!” Said Hunk. “... But I um… I’m going to stay down here. Doesn’t look like there is a lot of room up there…”

Shiro looked down at him. “Oh, hi Hunk. How are you?”

“I’m good.”

The old lady chuckled a little as she looked down at Hunk. “Oh, hello there. You’re a nice kitty aren’t you? Such a nice fluffy kitty.”

Hunk couldn’t help but feel proud. He did take care of his fur coat. He had to. It was very, very fluffy. It could get matted if he wasn’t very careful. He also really enjoyed getting brushed. He liked it when his fur was fluffy and soft.

“I’ll get you kitties some nice tuna.” Said the old lady as she went to the fridge.

Keith nudged Shiro. “We need to talk to Allura. The lykoi are starting to move into our territory…”

Shiro frowned. “Really? Yeah, we need to talk to her about that… They need to stay out of our territory.”

The old lady put a few bowls of tuna out for the cats. “There you go. Eat up kitties.”

“... After tuna first.” Said Shiro. The other two cats agreed and quickly went over to eat the tuna belly.


	263. Fishing (AtLA AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are fishing and Marco's hawk does not like Lance at all. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

A few days after Lance sent out the hawk it came back with a litter from Allura. It had a royal seal on it and everything. Lance had some difficulty getting the letter from the hawk because it kept trying to bite his fingers.

“Come on…” He whined. “Be a nice bird and give me my letter…”

“SCREECH!!!” Cried the hawk as they flapped their wings.

After a few minutes of trying to get the letter, Marco took pity on him, and got the letter off the hawk for Lance. Lance quickly grabbed the letter and went about reading it by the communal fire. Shiro and Curtis were there. Curtis was showing Shiro how to prepare some kind of fruit.

_Dear Lance_   
_Things have been going well at home. We have made several trade agreements to some of the coastal villages along the northern point of the Earth Kingdom. Your mother has been begging me to know if you have made contact with me, which she now knows you are. I’m sorry to hear that you and your companions didn’t have a warm welcome at the Eastern Air Temple. Many people are still sore some anger towards the Firenation for what happened. It is getting better, but there is still hate._

_The Foggy swamp is apparently very nice this time of year. Enjoy your stay and try not to annoy the wildlife too much. I know what you are like._

_As for Keith, have you considered going to the library in the Si Wong desert? It shouldn’t be too far away from the swamp. You better like reading. Hope to hear from you soon Lance. Take care. Give my best to Hunk and the rest of your party._   
_Kind regards,_   
_Princess Allura Altea of the Northern Watertribe_

“What’s that?” Asked Pidge.

Lance jumped a little and looked over at the young earthbender. “Oh, I um, I wrote a letter to Allura, and I got a letter back… You’re pretty smart, right?”

“I have been told as much. Why?”

“Have you been to the library in the Si Wong desert?”

Pidge snorted and rolled her eyes. “Have I heard of the library… Matt and I got kicked out of there, twice. Why do you ask?”

“Allura thought it might have some ancient knowledge that can help Keith with his fire.”

“Huh… Yeah, I guess it could have stuff on that…” She frowned a little and rubbed her chin. “Yeah… I guess it could. I’ve mostly been looking at metal bending stuff there, so there will probably be good stuff there.”

“Yeah, I thought as much… Where is Keith anyway?”

Pidge shrugged. “I think he went with Hunk and Marco to get some stuff… Maybe fishing? I have no idea… One of them is going to drown.”

“Probably.” Lance quickly put the letter in his pocket and looked over at Shiro and Curtis. 

Curtis had just cut up a pale coloured fruit and stabbed a few chunks onto a stick. “And if you grill it a little, it tastes much sweeter. But it is hot like lava, so you need to be careful.”

Shiro nodded along. “Huh, I see…”

“What are you eating?” Asked Lance.

“Fruit.” Said Curtis as he offered the two of them a skewer. “Want some?”

***

A fair bit away from the village, Hunk, Marco, and Keith were out fishing. Marco was a very happy man and was more than happy to just let the other two fish. Hunk was a lot better at this than Keith was. Which Marco found very amusing.

“So, why was Lance trying to grab your hawk?” Asked Keith.

Marco shrugged. “He sent a letter to Allura. My hawk doesn’t like other people touching them.”

“Makes sense.” Said Hunk as he cast out his line. “So, how’s life here? Anything crazy happening?”

Marco shrugged. “Nothing much. Get rained on a lot. The huts closest to the river got flooded a little. Sucks, but what are you gonna do?”

“That’s fair.”

“Fishing sucks.” Muttered Keith. “We used to keep chickens in my and pigs in my village…”

“We have some swamp hens around.” Said Marco. “But, you know. We just let them roam free. We have some places for them to lay eggs around the place and we collect the eggs every now and then. We don’t really catch and kill them though.”

Keith nodded and continued to look out across the water. “... Sounds good.”

Marco chuckled a little. “Yeah, it’s pretty good. Life here is nice. Very easy going… As long as you don’t piss off the wildlife, but that’s normal in most places, right?”

Hunk nodded in agreement. “Yeah, very true. I have been attacked several times by a bunch of different animals… Like chickens. Chickens are evil things. At least the ones owned by Mrs Donbar… The roosters she has are very territorial.”

Hearing that made Marco laugh. “Yeah, they are. Roosters are jerks. I love them.” He sat back and started to whittle away at a fishing spear he was making. “So Keith, how long have you need firebending?”

Keith shrugged. “Like, two years ago, I think?”

Both Hunk and Marco gave Keith very strange looks. “Is that normal for firebenders?” Asked Marco.

“I was a late bloomer.” Muttered Keith. “I… My mother was a very good firebender. One of the best in the village. My dad wasn’t a bender at all. Just a normal guy… My mother left to go to the capital to earn more money for us since we were living on the edge of dirt poor and able to get by… I didn’t think I was a bender, neither did my parents. Most of the benders in my village started bending around the five-seven year old mark…”

Hunk’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Is that why you have trouble with firebending? Because you’ve never really done it before?”

“Yeah…” Keith sighed. “When I first started to firebend… It was like an explosion. It was so sudden and it… A lot of people got hurt because it was such a surprise… My dad got the worst of it. I’m surprised I didn’t kill him.”

Hunk gave Keith a sympathetic look and Marco just nodded along. He could understand the dangers of someone untrained suddenly becoming a bender. He had heard stories of airbenders almost killing themselves and other people when harmonic convergence happened and everyone kind of went crazy trying to figure out how to control their powers. 

He could only imagine how terrible it would be for someone to suddenly learn they were a firebender and be unable to stop it. It would have scared anyone if that happened. Though he was kind of proud that Keith was still trying to firebend and control his bending instead of shutting it away. He wouldn’t have blamed him if he did.

“But he’s still okay?” Asked Marco.

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Heavily scarred and I completely ruined his life, but okay.”

“You didn’t ruin his life.” Said Hunk. 

“I did.” Muttered Keith. “I hurt him really badly… I think he didn’t kick me out right away because he needed me to care for him… The other villagers only acknowledged my existence when I went to the food stalls to get food and medicine for my dad… I became a social pariah in a matter of seconds. No one wanted to teach me how to control my bending… My dad said he would if he could, but I don’t even know anymore… He was probably lying. Not that I could blame him if he was.” Keith stuck a bit of bait onto a hook and tossed it out into the water. “I think he was just trying to keep me happy so I didn’t set anything on fire…”

“So how did you practice after that?” Asked Marco. He was curious as to how Keith started to get a grip on his bending since he didn’t seem to have anyone to teach him.

“I grew up watching some of the firebender’s practice.” Said Keith. “Everyone was allowed to learn the fighting style of a firebender even if we couldn’t bend. So I had an idea about some basics… There was a dirt field I would practice in. It wasn’t the best, but it was better than nothing.”

“Your fighting style is kind of a mix between air bending and firebending.” Said Hunk.

“That’s because Shiro taught me some fighting to try and help me control my fire.”

Hunk nodded and was about to say something, when a fish got snagged on his line. “Oh! I think I caught something!”

“Pull it in!” Said Marco. “I’ll club it.”

***

It was starting to get dark by the time Keith, Hunk, and Marco got back. They, along with a few other villagers had some back with fish, or were busy starting to prepare dinner. The villagers were happy to get some fish to skin and grill.

Almost immediately Lance noticed something was up with Keith. He seemed a little more down and distant than usual. Which was saying something/ Keith was always kind of distant with everyone. He wanted to say something to him, but Keith immediately sat by Shiro.

“How was the fishing?” Asked Pidge.

“Pretty good.” Said Hunk. “... What are you doing Pidge?”

Lance looked over at Pidge. The earthbender was suspending a ball of mud in the air. She was slowly turning it and making it smaller and smaller. He, like Hunk, had no idea what she was doing.

“Refining the earth until it’s nothing but metal elements.” She said. “I can’t bend actual metal yet, so I’m starting small. Trying to purify it. Hope it works out.”

“Same.” Lance glanced over at Keith again. He still seemed very down. “Did something happen to Keith?”

Hunk glanced over at the firebender and shrugged. “Yeah, he kind of opened up a bit. I think he’s emotionally drained… He um, he only started bending a few years ago. Late bloomer.”

Pidge frowned a little as she continued to slowly work away at her mud ball. “Explains why he isn’t very confident with his firebending. If an Earthbender is a late bloomer it can suck pretty hard depending on how strong they are. Worst that happened that I’ve heard of was some teenager accidentally knocking their house down. What happens when waterbenders are late bloomers?”

Lance shrugged. “Usually a small tidal wave or someone gets slapped in the face with a water whip… I wonder what happens when an airbender is a late bloomer?”

“Didn’t you have some people become airbenders in the watertribe during the harmonic convergence?” Asked Hunk. “A lot of people kind of launched themselves into the air and blew some stuff over.”

“... I think I was too young to remember that.” Muttered Lance. “I don’t know if I was even born then… Either that or we didn’t get many people becoming airbenders in the Northern water tribe… Anyway, need any help preparing the fish?” Hunk nodded and passed Lance a fish. The two of them started to help prepare dinner for the rest of the village.


	264. Will he won't he (X-men AU XXV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets an email and has a bit of a crisis. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith wasn’t expecting much from the email he sent Tex. He was kind of afraid that Tex might not actually want to meet him and curse him out for contacting him. Or it was a huge joke. It really scared him. So he didn’t check his emails until he had study time. Lance kept asking him if he had looked at it yet.

So in the safety of his room, Keith went through his emails. He had five. Two were spam. One was a coupon for a pizza place Adam got him to order from just one time. One was from a bike shop he ordered some very specific parts for. Then there was the one email from Tex.

**Subject; I think I am your dad.**

Keith’s throat went dry. He knew who it was. It had to be Tex. He was so going to tell him to fuck off and never contact him again for being some kind of mutant freak. He probably looked at it for ten minutes before he reluctantly opened it

_Dear Keith;_   
_I do believe you are my son. Lance has given me some strong evidence, that I have confirmed, that you are my son. I want to talk to you in person or over the phone about some of your questions, but I will answer a few to give you some peace of mind._   
_No, I am not a mutant. As far as I know I have always been a non mutant individual._   
_I have nothing against mutants and have always been a mutant supporter._   
_I do know who your mother is, but I feel it’s best to talk face to face about that._   
_I didn’t know she was pregnant at the time. I hadn’t seen her for a year when she confessed that she put you up for adoption. Again I think we should talk face to face for that one._   
_I always wanted you. I want to know you. Never believe otherwise._   
_Tex_

Keith kept staring at the email and read one line over and over again.

_I always wanted you._

He wanted him? This adult that didn’t know a thing about him wanted him. They wanted to talk to him and get to know him. He wasn’t really sure what to do with this information. Who was he meant to talk to?

With his phone still in hand, Keith went to talk to Adam. If anyone was qualified to point him in the right direction it would be him. As he walked, he happened to pass by James and a few of his friends.

“Hey Keith, who’s texting you?” James asked. “Is it your mummy?”

Keith’s ears flattened against his head and he did his best to ignore the teasing. He might have let out a small hiss as he walked past. This just made James and his friends laugh at him as he passed. He felt a sharp breeze flick around his ankles, which he assumed was just James being a dick to him.

Thankfully that was the last bit of trouble that came his way as he got to Adam’s office. He knocked on the door and went in when he heard Adam call him in. In Adam’s office, Curtis had pulled a chair up beside him and looked like he was going over some school work with Adam.

Adam looked a little surprised to see him, but smiled. “Hello Keith. What do you need?”

“I um… I want to talk to you about something personal…” Said Keith quietly.

“Sure.” He looked over at Curtis. “Do you get it?”

Curtis nodded and collected his things. “Yeah. Thanks Adam. I think I get it now. Later Keith.” He quickly gathered his things and left the room.

When they were alone, Keith sat down across from Adam. “So um… I… I think I know who my dad is…”

That surprised Adam. “Oh? Really?”

“Yeah… Lance kind of found him and we kind of talked.” Said Keith. “Exchanged emails. He answered some questions I had, but I… There are a few he wants to answer in person or over the phone.”

“... So, what do you want to do?” Asked Adam.

“I don’t know… His business is out of state and I kind of want to talk to him face to face.” Said Keith quietly as he played with the fur on his tail. “I… I want answers, but I… I’m scared I won’t like those answers… Like, what if my mum hated me? I mean, she threw me away… Didn’t even tell my dad I was born.”

Adam nodded slowly as he closed his eyes and thought about this. “I see… Well, there is obviously a lot to think about. You don’t have to make a split second decision now. You can think about it for a few days, or weeks. Keep talking to him. Don’t give away too much information. You never know with creeps on the internet.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “You’re going to see if Shiro has some connections with some intelligence agency to do a background check on him, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Of course. Can’t be too careful you know.”

“I guess…” Grumbled Keith. He was pretty sure he could beat the shit out of anyone that tried to do anything to him anyway. He was a pretty powerful mutant anyway. If he was up against a normal human then he would definitely win in a fight.

“Look, it’s all up to you if you want to meet them face to face. Just remember the usual internet rules.”

Keith rolled his eyes again. “Yeah, yeah… No exchanging bank info, no nudes, which is really disturbing if this guy is really my dad, and if we do meet up I shouldn’t do it alone.”

“Good. Are you going to talk to Shiro about it?”

“Yeah, I kind of want to think about it a little more.”

“Okay… So you just wanted me to know?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, between you and Shiro, you have the only brain cell.”

Adam chuckled at that remark and adjusted his glasses. “Oh please. Shiro’s the beauty and I am the brains of this operation.”

Keith smiled a little and stood up. “Thanks… I think I just needed to talk to someone about this.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Anything else you want to talk about?”

“... How the heck would I even get to his place? It’s like, across the country. I haven’t been on a plane before...” Keith picked at the fur on his tail. “I um… I don’t know how to do that stuff…”

Adam shrugged. “When we’ve determined that it’s safe to meet him and if you should go there or he comes here, Shiro will probably be with you the whole time, or me. Depends on if it’s here or there.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Keith got up and left the room. About halfway down the hall he noticed that Curtis hadn’t gone back to his room like he said he would. He was leaning against the wall looking at a textbook. So Keith decided to see what he was doing. “... Hi?”

Curtis jumped and quickly turned around. “Don’t sneak up on people like that!”

“Sorry! Don’t you have super hearing or something?”

“Yeah, but my earmuffs dampen it…” He muttered. “Anyway, what’s up?”

“Nothing. You waiting for Adam?”

Curtis quickly averted his eyes and looked embarrassed. “... Maybe? Is it that bad?”

“No. Just wondering…” Keith walked past Curtis and looked over his shoulder to see him walking back to Adam’s office. It made Keith frown a little, but he just shrugged it off and went back to his room.

He took two steps up the stairs to get to his dorm, when a strong gust of wind punched him right in the guts and sent Keith sprawling out on the ground floor. Looking up he saw James and his shitty friends looking down at him and laughing. Keith flipped them off.

“Hey James!” Called Pidge from the top of the stairs. “You and the moron squad might want to buy new phones.”

The group stopped laughing and quickly checked their phones. There were a lot of angry shouts and curses thrown at Pidge. “You’re going to pay for that bitch!”

“Yeah, I’ll pay for all your phones when you prove I was the one that told all your batteries to explode. Go fuck a cactis.” She walked down and helped Keith up. “You okay there man?”

“Y-yeah. Thanks… Did you really destroy their phones?”

“Heck yeah. Fuck those guys.” She said. “Now, if they want to pay me to fix it… I’m more than happy to do that and restore everything on it.”

“Sneaky.”

“Fuck yeah. Want to go outside for a bit?”

“Sure.” Keith followed Pidge outside. 

They walked over to the fountain and sat down on the edge. Keith still wasn’t really sure how to deal with friends and things like that. Maybe he could ask Pidge about family stuff? She seemed to have parents or something. Which was more than he had.

After a few minutes, Keith cleared his throat. “So…”

“Yeah?”

“Um… What’s it like to have parents?”

“Eh, I guess it’s pretty good.” Said Pidge. “I don’t really know what it’s like not to have them so…”

“Yeah, fair enough I guess.”

“Why?”

Keith shrugged. “I um… I got in contact with my dad. I kind of want to meet him. Like, really meet him, but I have no idea if it’s a good idea. Is it a good idea to know your parents?”

Pidge thought for a bit. “Hmm… Well, I think it might be a good idea? Like, you know where you come from and you find out if you have any weird genetic things.”

“Being a purple cat isn’t a weird genetic thing already?”

“Okay, fair… Do you want to see him?”

Keith sighed. “I’m still trying to decide. I want to, but I don’t, but I do. It’s confusing… I think I might?”

“If there’s no red flags, then I think you should.” Said Pidge. “But in the end it’s all up to you.”

“I know…” Keith sighed even louder and ran his claws through his hair. “Look, I kind of just wanted your perspective since you’re pretty smart and all that.”

Pidge looked surprised but smiled and lightly touched his arm. “Thanks man. I’m touched. But I can only tell you sats and stuff like that. But you have to make your own decision on this matter.”

“I know… Still don’t want to do that. It would be easier if people just told me what to do.”

“Says the guys that’s usually a rebel.”

“I know. Ironic, huh?”


	265. Together (Hellpoint AU XII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving you fools some answers. These answers aren't even the biggest bombshells in this AU. But enjoy them. Enjoy the pain and suffering! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The older Pidge on the screen just stood there for a moment. It looked like she was readjusting the screen. _“Okay… Is it recording now? … Yeah, okay. I think it is.”_ She cleared her throat. _“Okay. To anyone who cares I am Pidge, the green paladin of Voltron. If you are seeing this you’re either someone that is unfortunate enough to get stuck here, or you are me and lost the coin toss.”_

They moved the camera to a board covered with a bunch of complicated mathematical equations. A lot of it looked like it had to do with physics and wormholes. Theories about space and time. They picked up a pipe and used it to point at the board.

_“Okay, so here is the problem you probably have right at the moment. Imagine you have a computer file. You make a copy of it and start storing different information in both of them. After a while they aren’t the same files anymore, are they? Still technically files, but no longer the same. You get me? The station makes a copy of both your DNA and memory. It’s saved in the station’s data bank… And you know what is interesting about that? Our memories can be changed and manipulated. Like someone changing code. So Pidge, if you are watching I want to ask you a question… Why haven’t you tried to Call Coran yet?”_

That question, that one question kind of blew Pidge’s mind. Why hadn’t they called Coran over the radio yet? Why hadn’t they thought about it? All she could feel was dread crawling down her back as she looked around at the other people wearing masks. She had a sinking feeling she knew what was behind those masks.

 _“Okay, so now assuming that this is Pidge I am speaking to, I have some other things to say. Anyone else watching can skip ahead a bit.”_ They adjusted the camera again and took a few moments to collect their thoughts. _“Look, this isn’t going to be easy to say, but you probably already know what is going on… You are not the original Katie Holt. I’m not the original Katie Holt. The original Paladins of Voltron have been dead for thousands of years already.”_

Pidge’s jaw dropped at that revelation. “Excuse me?! What the fuck?”

“Just keep listening.” Said Fewbar.

The older Pidge pointed at a screen. It showed a still of a security camera with the Paladins standing around a console in the hangar. _“The timestamp here is completely different to the timestamp shown on the monitor now. If you dig through the security footage you will find hundreds, if not thousands of versions of us getting slaughtered over and over again.”_ They looked back at the camera. _“Long story short, we lost the coin toss Pidge. We, and everyone else here lost the coin toss… I am so sorry… I’m so, so sorry… You only have one mission now. Destroy the station and end everything… Good luck… And once again, I am so sorry…”_

The screen turned off and Pidge couldn’t help but laugh. “That… that’s just a joke right? It… It isn’t real, you know? I…”

“Calm down.” Said Fewbar. “If you don’t calm down you’ll probably end up mad like the rest of the ermites…”

“... The rest of the ermites?”

One of the taller women nodded and took off her mask. This was an older version of Pidge. She had a scar on her face and shaved off most of her hair. “Yeah… The ermites appeared around the tenth or twelfth time this cycle started over. The Architect uses a new incarnation of our group to fix whatever problems are happening on the station to keep it running, then our group is slaughtered over and over again for the small amount of quintessence that we have inside us.”

Pidge felt empty inside. “S-so what are the ermites? How come he’s using clones of us for quintessence?”

Fewbar shrugged. “Apparently DNA degrades significantly over time. The past Altean’s that lived here have had their DNA remade so many times it completely broke down to nothing and became unusable. That’s why he keeps bringing us back. We don’t make as much quintessence as Alteans, but we do make it… You’re lucky that you got to keep your memory. Some of the other people got their memories altered to shit.”

Pidge slowly nodded as she collected her thoughts. “So those ermites are us… Us that have had our memories altered?”

“Either that or finding out the truth of the situation made us snap.” Called a Pidge from the other side of the room. “It happens depending on how fucked up we are before finding out the truth.” Everyone else nodded in agreement.

“So… What happened to all of you?” Asked Pidge. “Where are all the other Hunks, Shiros, Lances, Keiths and Alluras?”

There was an awkward pause before one of the older Pidge’s spoke. “There’s always a pattern. It always depends on if we know we are clones and there are more of us or not. Almost always Lance loses his mind and wanders away from the group because this mentally breaks him. If he doesn’t snap first, Keith will because of his conflicting DNA… If that happens he could really snap and kill someone… A lot. Over and over again… My Keith went feral after getting shot in the head. When he came back he… He bit off Shiro’s face.”

One of the younger Pidge’s nodded in agreement. “Yeah. After that Shiro’s PTSD usually kicks into high gear and he completely dissociates to save himself. We can’t blame him. Everything that’s happened is horrible… Hunk completely breaks down too and either falls into depression and walks off somewhere, presumably to kill himself or as he sometimes tries to find Lance. None of us have ever found either of them when they walked off though… We can only hope they found each other and are trying to stay alive. The other option is… The Architect found them.”

“And Allura? What about her?”

“We don’t know.” Said Fewbar. “Around the time that the other three go missing Allura usually goes missing too. None of us know where she goes. We’ve speculated that as the only Altean here, she might be getting kidnapped by the Architect for her quintessence, since she has more of that in her than us. Especially as the princess of the Alteans.”

Pidge nodded a little. “Okay… So where are we at the moment?”

“In the prison section. Right in the domain of the Architect.” Said Fewbar. “He’s too arrogant to think we would be right under his nose.”

Pidge nodded. “I see… Tell me more about the Architect.”

***

Lance was not doing well. He was freaking out because he wanted to know how the ermite knew their planets. It scared him. He was trying really hard to ground himself, but it was getting harder and harder to stay calm. No one really knew why that ermite was singing that specific song about the planets in their solar system.

“Maybe it has something to do with the checkpoints?” Suggested Shiro. “Pidge was talking about how it stored both our DNA and our memories, right? Maybe there is some kind of interface it could access and heard that song? That sounds logical, right?” He looked over at Keith for confirmation.

Keith didn’t look too sure of that explanation, but nodded anyway. “Y-yeah. Pidge would probably have a better idea about what’s going on.”

“Yeah, so deep breaths Lance.” Said Shiro. “It’ll be fine. We always manage to pull through in the end.”

“R-right…” Muttered Lance as he took a few more deep breaths. “I… I think I’m okay now…”

“That’s good. Let’s keep moving.”

Lance nodded and followed behind Shiro and Keith. Soon though, Keith fell back and was walking next to him. “Do you need something?” Asked Lance.

Keith shook his head. “No. I just… You really freaked out back there.”

“I know, stupid right?”

“No, it was reasonable.” Said Keith calmly. “It was… Yeah, that was really disturbing.”

“That rhyme was something my sister taught me.” Said Lance quietly. “It was how she taught me the planets and I memorised them… No one should know that rhyme but me. I don’t know if I believe anything about that memory stuff… If one of those things could get into a console and saw any of our memories then doesn’t it stand to reason that they might be able to change them… Keith, what if they did something to us?”

Keith looked a little worried, but gave Lance a stern look. “I wouldn’t let that happen… And we’re going to stay together and not die. I’m not going to let you die again.” It was a nice gesture, but Lance couldn’t see Keith keeping that promise. They were going to die a lot more before this was all over.

The trio walked into a building and quickly hit up a checkpoint. There was a strange organic looking growth close to it and up the wall. It looked really gross. Kind of like a mix between slimy flesh and fungal growth. It was slimy and disgusting with what looked like pustules along the side of it. This thing was growing on the ceiling too.

“What is this thing?” Muttered Lance.

“Don’t know.” Said Shiro. “We shouldn’t touch it though. It could be anything…”

The others nodded and very carefully walked through the building and looked through different doors. It looked like they were in some kind of weird treatment plant. Possibly water or waste. Lance couldn’t tell. They walked into a room with what looked like a giant open pipe in the middle of the room.

“What do you think is in there?” Asked Keith.

“No idea.” Muttered Shiro. “Let’s finish looking around here. I doubt there is a canister in here, but you never know.”

Keith and Shiro walked around the pipe while Lance had a quick look inside. It was empty, but a decent way down. If he fell down it he would probably die. 

“Lance!” Called Shiro. “We found another checkpoint.”

“Right!” Lance quickly came over and hit the checkpoint with the others. “Did you guys hit it up already?”

Keith shook his head. “I’ll hit it up when you’re done.”

“Okay be my guest.”

“LOOK OUT!” Shiro suddenly tackled the two out of the way as an ermite fell from the ceiling and slammed into the floor. 

Both arms of the creature had been removed and replaced with what looked like random pieces or rough and rusted metal. They almost looked like possible clubs. One of them was dragging across the floor. The rest of its body was covered with thick and infected looking cuts. Possibly from those horrific looking arms. On its head was some weird, thick gel that was dripping outs its ears, nose, and mouth. It let out a guttural and primal scream, like a wounded animal.

Lance quickly scrambled away and took shots at it while looking out for more ermites. It seemed like this was the only one, and it was pissed. It didn’t fight with any pattern, but with pure rage. It continued to flail and scream. Keith and Shiro narrowly dodged the violent swinging. It was difficult to get a hit on it up close. Lance quickly took shots at the ermite’s head.

The ermite slammed its twisted arm into the ground, getting it stuck on a metal panel. It grunted as it tried to pull free. 

“Now!” Called Shiro. The next few seconds played in slow motion for Lance. Just as the ermite freed its arm and swung it around, Keith got behind it and cut through its neck, killing it. In that split second when the ermite swung its arm around, its arm made contact with Shiro’s head, crushing and ripping off most of his face in the process. He turned to gel in a few seconds. But the creature’s arm had ripped up the metal panel it was stuck on, and swung it around right at Lance. It clipped him but it was enough to make him trip, hit the back of the pipe, and fall in.

Lance tumbled backwards and did his best to grab hold of the edge. He scrambled to grab the edge out of instinct but he didn’t get a grip and he slipped. Lance was preparing for another death when he felt someone grab his forearm.

Lance looked up in shock to see Keith. He was halfway over the edge trying his best to hold Lance and pull him up, but he was struggling. Really struggling. If Keith didn’t let him go then they would both fall and die.

“It’s okay Keith. Just let me go.”

“I can’t you idiot!” Snapped Keith as he struggled to pull Lance up.

“Just let me go!” Said Lance. “I’ll be fine! I’ll go back to the last checkpoint!”

“No!” Keith continued to try and pull Lance up, but he ended up sliding forward a little.

Lance was starting to panic. “Keith! Let me go now! If you fall you’re going to die! If you die something else could happen to you and it could be worse than a few extra teeth!” He could feel himself tearing up. “You have to let me go!

“I can’t let you go!” Snapped Keith as he gripped Lance’s arm tighter. “I can’t see you fucking die in front of me again! I fucking love you!”

Lance froze on shock. Keith loved him? This wasn’t some weird joke? Tears were pouring down his face now. “And to think we had to go to hell for you to say that to me… It’s okay Keith. I’ll be fine. You can let me go. I won’t blame you.”

“I can pull you up!” Growled Keith. “Just… Just wait a few seconds…” Lance felt himself slipping. “Fuck!”

“It’s okay…” Said Lance quietly. “It’s not your fault Keith. We can get through this together.”

“... Together?”

“Yeah, together.”

“... Fuck it.”

Suddenly Lance felt himself in freefall, but Keith was still gripping his arm tightly. Keith had let go. They were freefalling together. It almost seemed like they were falling forever. Heck, Lance wanted this one moment to last forever. Just stop time right then and there in the seconds before death.

All too soon it felt as though he had been slammed into a wall. In reality he had hit the floor. Keith was no longer gripping his arm. Lance heard a pained gurgle next to him. He turned his head to see Keith. He looked like he might have taken most of the damage on his helmet since it was quickly filling with blood. With what little life was still left in Keith’s body, he was trying to reach out to him.

Lance tried to move, but it hurt so much. He was pretty sure he had punctured his lungs several times. He did his best to reach out to Keith, but just as their fingers were about to touch, Keith’s body went limp and he turned to red gel. Lance let out a pained noise as he choked on his own blood and bled out.

***

Keith groaned in annoyance as he pulled himself up from the ground. His face still hurt but at least it didn’t feel like his mouth was full of teeth this time. He looked down at his hands and noticed that they were clawed. Bursting out of his gloves. What skin he could see was tinged purple too. 

He stood up, feeling pain shooting through the joints in his ankles and knees. He stumbled back, knocking into one of the strange structures growling on the wall. He swore in pain and looked down at his legs. The bone structure looked different. Like a bad mix of Galra and human anatomy.

“... FUCK!” Keith was essentially crippled in this state. He couldn’t run. Couldn’t defend himself. He was royally screwed. But there was one way to change that...

He looked down at his bayard and pursed his lips. Fewbar did something similar at the fountain. They even said that this was the best way to fix any mistakes that might happen when the checkpoint fucks up his anatomy.

With shaking hands Keith pressed the end of their bayard up against the bottom of his chin. He wasn’t sure he could do this. Killing himself in this manner was going to be painful. He wished he had Lance’s bayard. At least that way he could just shoot himself in the head and it would be over quickly.

“Okay… Okay…” He muttered as he tried to psych himself up. “One… Two… Three… Now… And now… Fuck.” Keith couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kill himself. In frustration he slammed his fist against the structure.

Suddenly something thick, heavy, and sticky hit the back of his head and slid down his neck. Keith shivered and touched it while looking up. It looked like whatever it was fell out of the weird organic structure. On his hand was some weird inkly black goo. Keith attempted to wipe it off, but when he tried to, the goo moved. 

It crawled away from his fingers and back up his arm. Keith suddenly felt something thin and sharp repeatedly stabbing the back of his neck. That goo was alive. Keith cried out in fear and panic as he tried to pull it off, but the goo weaved around his fingers and quickly invaded his eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. The stabbing pain didn’t stop. It just intensified. It became so excruciating that he couldn’t tell if he was screaming anymore or had gone into shock.


	266. Diagnosis (Highschool AU XV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we get a diagnosis! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

The sleep study was alright. A bunch of sensors got stuck to his head and he was told to go to sleep. Easier said than done. But eventually he did go to sleep and whatever needed to be recorded was recorded. He would get the results back in a day or two.

So Saturday afternoon he was sitting in Pidge’s backyard trying to rub some of the sticky sensor pad off his forehead. It felt weird and his hair kept sticking to it. He really needed to scrub his forehead when he got home. He was too tired to really do anything about it when he got home earlier that morning.

Lance ended up sitting next to him and smiled at him. “Hey, what’s up? You’re kind of randomly picking at your hair?”

“Glue or something’s stuck to my forehead.”

“Oh, how was the sleep study thing?”

“I’ll get the results in a few days.”

“That’s good. Do you want me to help?” Asked Lance.

“How?”

“Be back in a moment.” Lance went inside Pidge’s house and came back out a few minutes later with some cotton balls, baby oil and hair ties. “Okay, let me just tie your hair back and I’ll start swabbing.”

Keith let Lance do what he wanted to with his hair and just rolled with it. He was too tired. To really care. He let Lance rub a cotton ball over the sticky spot right on his forehead. It felt kind of nice.

“What are you two doing?” Asked Pidge. She was holding what looked like several toilet paper rolls tapped together.

“Keith has glue on his face.” Said Lance. “I’m just helping him out.”

“Well hurry up. We have to launch this into the sky!” Pidge marched over to a patch of concrete where Hunk and Pidge’s older brother Matt were getting the launch pad for their rocket ready. Naturally Pidge’s parents were not at home at the moment. They would probably freak out if they knew about this.

Keith knew that Adam and Shiro would freak out if that happened at their place. Hell, Shiro would have definitely had a PTSD episode and freak out over it. It was fine. Keith wasn’t the kind of guy that liked to set stuff on fire and blow it up for fun.

When everything was set up, which consisted mostly of Matt using an ungodly amount of duct tape and several sheets of metal used as shields. He grinned as everyone hid behind the shields.

“Everyone ready for the boom?” He asked.

“Heck yeah!” Said Pidge and Lance.

“This won’t make a huge hole in the concrete will it?” Asked Hunk.

Matt laughed and quickly lit the fuse before hiding behind the shield. After the longest ten seconds in history, there was a huge bang and Keith felt something hit the shield. The group lowered the shield to see a huge burn mark on the concrete.

“... So is someone going to call the police?”

“Doubt it.” Said Matt. “I handed out flyers to the neighbours and called the local police. I said I was doing things with compressed gas. We should be fine. Pretty cool though right?”

“Did your phone get it?” Asked Pidge.

Matt went over to the tripod he set up and checked his phone. “... I got it!” The siblings gave each other a hi-five and happily looked over the footage.

“Can we light some sparklers now?” Asked Hunk.

“They are in the shed.” Said Matt.

Hunk nodded and headed off to get them. Keith ended up sitting on the back steps and just watched everyone doing what they were doing. He didn’t really know what he was doing here. Blowing things didn’t really seem that fun to him after all. He had no idea why. Explosions should be fun but it was just… meh.

Lance stayed close to him, smiling happily. “So, what do you think? Having fun.”

“I guess?”

“... Oh.”

“Sorry. I’m still not very awake. Kind of preoccupied wondering what’s wrong with me.”

“That’s fair.” Said Lance. He kicked at the ground a few times. “So… um… I hope you get some good and regular sleep soon.”

“Thanks. Me too.” Said Keith. “And um, thanks for help with the sticky stuff.”

“Hey, no problem.” Said Lance. “I’m used to helping my cousins with that kind of stuff.”

***

Eventually everyone had finished up Pidge’s house and parted ways. Keith went to work, Hunk went home, and so did Lance. Though Lance was a little more hesitant about going home. His cousins were there again and he didn’t really want to hang around them. He just wanted to sit in his room and think about Keith.

Thankfully everyone was too distracted doing their own thing to notice Lance coming home. He slipped into his room and quickly locked the door. When he was alone he laid on his bed and let out a long sigh.

Keith was cute. Really cute. He still wanted Keith to choke the hell out of him or hurt him somehow, but he was cute. He would have been happy if Keith had burnt him with a sparkler when they were burning them. He seemed a little bored, but he hoped that Keith was having a good time.

He felt his stomach slowly getting tied in knots as he thought about Keith. Keith holding him down and branding him with their sparkler. Hell, just getting branded in general by Keith would have been so hot. It would have hurt like a bitch, but if it was Keith then Lance would love it, relish in it, beg for more… He really needed to see someone about his masochistic tendencies. They probably weren’t healthy thoughts to have considering how young he was.

Still, he couldn’t help but run his hand over his throat and lightly squeeze. He tried to imagine it was Keith’s hand on him. Keith’s perfect, strong hand squeezing his throat and whispering dirty things into his ear. Calling him a pain slut and a whore. Just imagining that made his dick jump to attention. Fuck, he wanted Keith to lay his hands on him. Lay his hands on him and abuse the shit out of him. He just wanted Keith to pay attention to him and only him and… He really needed to see someone about this. It was starting to get out of hand.

Later that night when he had dinner with the family, Lance was surprised to see that Marco was there for dinner. He did just randomly pop in every now and then anyway. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood, so Lance decided to corner him after dinner to talk to him. Not that hard to do. Marco was a smoker and his mama wouldn’t let him smoke in the house.

So after dinner Lance approached him. “Hey man.”

Marco grinned. “Hey Lance. Thought you didn’t like the smell of smoke? You must really need something.”

Lance shrugged. “Well you have cut back a lot.”

“True. Down to just three a day. So what’s up?”

“Um… I know you don’t specialize in this stuff, but can we maybe go for a walk?”

Marco frowned at him and gave him a concerned look. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go.” Once Lance let his mama know they were going for a walk, Lance and Marco walked down the block in silence before Marco spoke up. “Okay, what’s the problem?”

“Um… You know how I am bisexual and all that?”

“Yeah? Is this something you should be talking to a straight guy about?” Asked Marco. “Well, if it’s a girl I’ll know what kind of advice to give you.”

Lance shook his head. “No, it um… I think there is something wrong with me…”

“Lance, there is nothing wrong with being bisexual.”

“What? No, I’m at peace with that and am a proud bisexual.”

“Then what is it?”

“I um… I think my tastes are weird…”

Marco frowned and took a long drag of his cigarette. “Is this something I need a new cigarette for?”

“... Maybe?” Lance was starting to get stressed. “I um… I think I’m a masochist…”

His brother looked surprised but shrugged it off. “Is that all? Lance, there are weirder kinks and fetishes out there than masochism. Masochism is pretty normal.”

Lance sighed heavily. “Marco, this is different. I… I’m on more of the extreme end… Like I’m kind of okay with some really extreme physical harm…”

“... Okay, that’s a problem.” Said Marco calmly. “Are you doing that when you masturbate?”

Lance shook his head. “No I only kind of like it if someone is doing it to me. I don’t want to do it to myself. I don’t self harm or anything like that. But I…” He sighed. “Marco, I’ve fantasized about getting choked, beaten, and abused by a guy crush of mine…”

Marco nodded slowly. “... Okay, I’m not judging you or anything but have you been… Has someone touched you?”

Lance quickly shook his head. “No, this is just me with my own fantasies but I… I’m just worried about where this might lead. Like, I think it’s hot getting strangled or beaten by… I think there might be something wrong with me because I like that kind of stuff…”

Marco nodded and decided he did need another cigarette. “Okay… Look, I don’t specialize in this kind of stuff and I only really deal with sex as it relats to trauma with my patients.”

“I know but… I’m just kind of worried about what this might mean… Help?”

Marco sighed and took his time taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Okay… Alright… Well, kinks and fetishes can happen naturally or like I mentioned, through trauma of some kind… I probably wouldn’t be able to properly diagnose you without actually having a proper therapy session with you, but I feel I should ask you… Do you like yourself?”

“Well yeah? Why?”

His older brother shrugged. “One of the reasons people fall into those masochistic tendencies can be because of self loathing. That or because of the aftercare that can come along with the abuse. Do you feel like you should be punished for some reason?”

Lance frowned a little as he thought about it. “Um… I don’t know? I guess I haven’t really thought much about it.”

Marco smiled a little at him and patted his back. “Hey, come to me any time if you’re worried about that stuff. If you want to speak to someone that has a better grip on the head space you’re in I can probably find you a therapist that works more closely with that kind of stuff. Like I said, I mostly deal with sexual stuff in the context of trauma.”

“True… I guess I’ll think about it some more.” Muttered Lance.

“Alright. Now, let’s head home. I think mama was making churros.”

“Cousin’s probably ate them all already.”

“Tell you what, if they did, I’ll take you out for ice cream.”

***

The next day Keith went to the doctor. They seemed to be all smiles as they looked over Keith’s results for the sleep study. “Okay Mr Kogane, would you like the bad news or the good news?”

“Might as well hear the bad news first.”

“Okay, bad news is you will need to get surgery.”

“... Is it a brain tumor?”

The doctor chuckled and shook their head. “Oh no. Nothing like that. You have a few small polyps in your sinuses. They are small enough that they don’t bother you when you are upright and walking around, but when you are lying on your side they move just enough to partially block your airway.”

“So I have polyps that are causing my insomnia?”

“Well it’s certainly a large part of it.” Said the doctor. “If you don’t have clear airways then you are going to have better sleep. It’s also a pretty simple day surgery. I can print you out a referral today. Also, good news, I am pretty sure that we have your insomnia narrowed down.”

“Yeah?”

“From what you have said and from other blood tests I think your insomnia is a result of several different factors. You are graduating this year and from what you have said you have been worried about school, work, and your brother coming back and him having PTSD, right?”

“Yeah?”

The doctor nodded. “You also said you drink a lot of caffeine and your sleep schedule is all over the place. I believe stress, caffeine, and an odd sleep schedule are to blame along with nasal polyps.”

Keith was shocked. “Really? So it’s not because of some weird hormonal thing?”

“Oh goodness no. I suggest you cut back on the coffee and try to talk to your boss to try and get earlier shifts. Apart from that I do suggest you consider seeing a therapist. Your health insurance covered six sessions with a therapist for six months. We have one come in once a week and I can write a referral for those six sessions. Then you will need to come in for another referral.”

“Oh, okay thanks?”

“Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

“Yeah, um, no. That’s about it…”

His doctor nodded and handed him referrals for both the therapist and the day surgery. “There you go. Hopefully this fixes your issues and you can get a good night’s sleep.”

Keith nodded and took the referrals. “Thank you. I’ll um… I’ll go and sort this out.” He left the office and waited outside for Adam to come and pick him up. He was surprised to find out that this was kind of a simple fix. There was probably some kind of catch, but this all seemed very doable. He couldn’t help but smile. Maybe he could finally get a good night’s sleep?


	267. Gazebo (Cat-tron AU IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter about the kitties with cat politics and agreements being done. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

“So the lykoi are moving into our territory?” Asked Allura as she lazily smacked at a dangling mouse toy. It was early in the evening when Shiro, Hunk, and Keith came over to talk to her about them. She had been told that they had started to move into their territory. Which was not good.

Allura had reached an agreement with Lotor, the Daibazaal prince, that they wouldn’t cross into her territory and they wouldn’t cross into theirs. It was a long standing agreement to try and avoid unnecessary fights between groups. Naturally there would still be fights every once in a while, but for the most part they didn’t cross paths. 

Keith nodded. “Yes. So are we going to fight them or what?”

“There’s no need to fight them.” Said Allura. “I can go and speak to Lotor and get this all sorted out. No big deal.”

Keith huffed and started to paw at the carpet. “Screw those guys. Let’s bite some ears.”

Coran shook his head. “Now, now Keith. Violence is not the answer in this situation. If the lykoi are in our territory we shall simply inform them that Allura wishes to speak with Lotor on neutral ground. They will tell Lotor and we will have a meeting during the next full moon. That is what they always do.”

Everyone agreed to this, except for Keith. Keith still wanted to bite the lykoi. He was a small ball of fur and fangs.

***

Word soon spread among the feline community and the date was set. On the next full moon Allura and her entourage made her way to the neutral meeting point. It was an ornate gazebo in the middle of a park right on the border of both territories. The cats that were from Allura’s territory walked around the area and moved out of the way when Allura walked by. The lykoi did the same for her, but gave the ragamuffin dirty looks. She couldn’t blame them. The cats from her territory did the same to them.

She patiently waited for Lotor to show up in the middle of the gazebo while the other cats sat on the benches and the railing. A few minutes later Lotor, the albino lykoi, showed up with his own entourage of mixed lykoi cats. It always surprised Allura that Lotor would surround himself with mixed breeds. She would have thought that he would have decided to have pure breed lykoi.

There was Zethrid, a very large cat that was a lykoi cross forest cat, Ezor, a lykoi cross sphynx, Acxa, a lykoi cross persian, and Narti, a lykoi cross chartreux. The most surprising thing about that group was that Narti was born without eyes. Just, didn’t have them. Allura was still surprised that she could still walk around without any trouble. She must have had very good hearing.

“I’m sorry we took so long to get here.” Said Lotor. “Emperor Zarkon had business with me.” Everyone knew what that meant. Head and chin scratches. Very important to attend to.

“That is understandable.” Said Allura. “Now, what is this about your group encroaching on my territory?”

Lotor shrugged. “Our group has expanded quite a bit over the past few years. It’s only natural that we would want more land.”

Allura huffed in annoyance. “The territories have been established long before we came into power. We must respect those rules or we risk starting an all out war.” The cats watching this talk play out started to arch their backs and hiss under their breaths.

“No need for war talks.” Said Lotor calmly. He thought for a moment. “Okay, look, we will stop encroaching on your territory if we get half of Flint street.” 

There was an uproar from Allura’s side. Flint street was where the fishmonger was and it was on Allura’s territory. If Lotor’s group got half of Flint street they would be getting the fishmongers and the butchers. The town was small. They only had one butcher and one fishmonger. This was an outrage.

“That is completely unacceptable!” Hissed Allura. “Unless you want to give us the butchers you can forget it!”

The other lykoi did not seem very happy with this deal. Lotor frowned and thought about this. “A different proposal? How about Flint street becomes a neutral feeding ground? It benefits everyone.”

Allura thought for a moment and looked around the rest of her supporters. “That is acceptable, but if I get one single report of lykoi attacking any of my cats on Flint street then the deal is off.”

“Same goes for your cats attacking mine.” Said Lotor calmly.

“Then we are in agreement?” She asked.

“An agreement has been struck.”

Allura nodded and lowered her head. Lotor walked up to her and licked the top of her head. He then bowed his head and Allura licked the top of his head. With that gesture the deal was struck and it was now written into cat law that Flint street was neutral ground for all. The cats left the gazebo and wandered home.

***

Keith was not happy about this. He was not a huge fan of those damn lykoi sneaking around their fishmonger’s shop. He hated that. He glared at the lykoi wandering around the park. He caught the eye of a very scraggly looking lykoi. He hissed at them.

Shiro frowned and nudged Keith. “Hey, no fighting.”

“I’m not fighting. I am hissing.”

“No.”

Keith hissed again at them. “Don’t care.”

Unfortunately for him his hissing did catch the attention of the lykoi he was directing his aggression at and they walked over to them. Keith immediately hid behind Shiro. Shiro just rolled his eyes and sniffed the lykoi. The lykoi sniffed back.

“Hi.” Said Shiro. “I am Shiro. Who are you?”

“Kolivan.” They said. “It is nice to meet you. Who is the small hissing one?”

“This is Keith. Go on. Say hi.” Shiro nudged Keith towards Kolivan.

“... Hi.” Squeaked Keith.

Kolivan looked amused at Keith’s reaction and sniffed him. “... You are an interesting little boy aren’t you? A mix.” Keith hissed a little and hid back behind Shiro. This made Kolivan chuckle a little and swished his tail. “Well, my small group might be lykoi and technically part of them, but we are strays. We do not stay on the property. See you two around.” Kolivan walked back to a group of lykoi that were waiting for him. They quickly ran off into the darkness.

“... Well he seems friendly.” Said Shiro.

“Don’t care.” Grumbled Keith.

Lance happily wandered over to them with Pidge and Hunk. “Yay! We can go to the butchers now! I’m gonna eat some chicken! Yummy chicken necks and tails!”

“Not the chicken!” Cried Hunk in dismay.

Pidge rolled her eyes and licked her paws. “Anyway, those lykoi huh? Pretty spooky looking huh?”

Keith shrugged. “I hate them. They took Shiro’s arm!”

Shrio rolled his eyes. “Not those specific lykoi. It was a different one. Kolivan seems nice enough.”

“Still don’t like him.”

Lance grinned and lightly bit Keith’s ear, making the little black cat hiss. “You’re such a grumpy guts.” Keith immediately jumped on top of Lance and started biting him. As a result Shiro and Hunk grabbed the two cats by the scruffs of their necks and pulled them apart. No one looked pleased, but Pidge was laughing.

After that little spat, the group went their separate ways. Pidge squeezed her way in through the cat flap in the backdoor and went to sleep in her cat bed. Lance ran back to the barn and fell asleep on a pile of hay with the rest of his siblings. Hunk got back home and fell asleep on some grass clippings next to the chicken coop. Shiro and Keith went back to the old lady's home and curled up together in their shared cat bed. Allura and Coran went home and fell asleep in their own separate cat beds. It was a good night.


	268. Volcano fried rice (AtLA AU XVIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the gang is off again! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

That evening after dinner, Curtis invited Shiro out for an evening boat ride. Shiro happily accepted the ride from the other because he wanted to see the swamp at night. There was a surprising amount of bioluminescent things in the water that gave it a beautiful glow. Shiro liked it. It was very pretty.

“The swamp is really amazing.” He said.

Curtis nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it is… So Shiro, you travel a lot right?”

“Yep.” Shiro dipped his fingers into the water. “I do like going from place to place. Kuro has made that easier.”

“That’s good… So, do you actually have like, a home base?”

Shiro nodded. “Yep. I usually end up heading back to the Easter Air Temple. My boyfriend runs a flying bison sanctuary.”

Curtis looked shocked. “B-boyfriend? You have a boyfriend? … Is he nice?”

Shiro grinned. “Yeah, Adam’s nice. I really like him… But we… I kind of messed it up. I chose traveling over being with him. He wasn’t very happy with me and I guess we kind of drifted apart… I guess he is kind of an ex?”

“Oh?”

“But we kind of promised to get together again when I go back to the temple.”

“Oh…”

Shiro looked over at Curtis and could see he was disappointed about something. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked.

Curtis half heartedly smiled and shrugged. “It’s nothing. I um, I feel like I should have asked if you were seeing anyone earlier… I um, I kind of brought you out here to ask you out.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah…” Curtis sighed and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just a dumb crush you know? It’s nothing…”

Now Shiro felt kind of bad. “Oh… I’m sorry Curtis. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

“Nah, it’s cool…” He sighed. “Look, most of the people here are either straight, already with someone, or are at an age that’s either too old or too young for me. I kind of get a little over excited when new people come to the village… Sorry if that’s creepy…”

“No it’s okay. I get it.” Said Shiro quickly. He frowned a little as he thought about this. “Um, do you maybe want to come with us when we leave the swamp? You could meet a bunch of new people and who knows? You might find someone available?”

Curtis chuckled a little at that. “Yeah? You think they will let me?”

“Maybe? I mean, Hunk let Keith and I go along with them. Even let Pidge tag along. Lance was already with them.” Said Shiro. “So like, come with us?”

Curtis thought for a moment. “Um… I might… Can I think about it tonight?”

“Of course.”

Curtis nodded and carefully used his waterbending to steer the boat back to the village. Things seemed kind of awkward between them. How could it not be? Curtis had taken Shiro out to tell him that he had a crush on him and Shiro told him he was already kind of with someone.

***

A few days later the group was packed and ready to head on out again. They had traded a lot of good stuff and Hunk had laid out where they were going to go next. He said they were apparently going down to Kyoshi island and the settlements along the way down to the Southern Water tribe. Lance had asked about the library, and apparently they would hit it up on the way back, then head West to the Fire nation.

They ended up with a new member to their little group. Curtis had asked them if it was okay if he joined them for a while. Shiro was happy to let him come with them and Lance was happy to have another water bender. Hunk was happy to have more people help them out. Pidge and Keith were indifferent.

So the group ended up climbing on Kuro’s back and flying out of the swamp. Marco called after them to come back any time. Lance yelled back that they would. The group quickly found out that Curtis was not a very good flyer. He had his own bucket to vomit in and toss it far away from Kuro. They told him that if he got any vomit on Kuro he was going to wash him when they landed for a bathroom break. Which Curtis agreed to.

They traveled South for a few days and eventually the weather started to get colder. Hunk ended up giving out some slightly warmer clothes to Curtis since he was so not used to this kind of weather.

“... I do not like cold weather.” Muttered Curtis.

“It gets colder.” Warned Lance. “Northern and Southern Water tribes are covered in ice and snow.”

“... I’m going to freeze to death.” Muttered Curtis.

Suddenly Pidge called out. “Hey, I can see my island!” She was sitting on Kuro’s head with Shiro. “Should be there in about an hour. I wonder if Matt’s back yet?”

“He might?” Said Hunk. “You never know.

And so, an hour later the group landed on Kyoshi island. The villagers were surprised and cautious when Kuro landed. Though they soon became very cheerful when they saw Pidge was part of their group. She happily introduced the group to her parents that were happy to meet Pidge’s new friends.

“So these are my parents Colleen and Samuel.”

“Just call me Sam.” Said her father. “I’m glad you’re back Pidge. We were a little worried when Matt said you were traveling back with some other people…”

Colleen looked at the group, frowning a little. “So… You look like an interesting group of people… Have you been taking care of Pidge?”

Shiro looked uncomfortable. “Um, if you’re worried about any of us thinking about doing unsavoury things to Pidge um… I’m gay and kind of have a boyfriend. Keith’s gay, Hunk only has eyes for a girl at home. Curtis is gay and Lance… I actually don’t know about you?”

“Bisexual with an arranged marriage pending.” He clarified.

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Muuuuuuuuuuuum… Seriously? These guys are cool.”

She continued to glare at them for a few moments before she sighed and nodded. “Fine… But if I find you’ve done anything to her…” She stomped on the ground and quickly moved her arms. A wall of rock quickly surrounded the group. “I will put you all in the ground with no second thought.”

Sam sighed and gently put his hand on her shoulder. “Now honey, I thought we agreed to let Pidge spread her wings? Like, she is a Kyoshi warrior too? She can defend herself.”

“Damn right I can!” Said Pidge.

Colleen glared at her.

“... Dang right I can?”

Colleen sighed and lowered the rock walls back into the ground. “Fine… Would you all like to come over for lunch?”

Sam grinned excitedly. “You should. I haven’t broken out the giant wok since last Lunar New Year.”

Pidge happily dragged her new friends over to her house, which was surprisingly close to some kind of fighting hall that a lot of women were hanging around. They waved at Pidge and said hello to her. Happily welcoming her back. Lance winked and waved at the ladies which earned a few giggles and waves back for him. Though one girl flipped him off. But it seemed to be in good jest.

They got to Pidge’s place and walked around the back to find Matt building a broom. “Pidge!” He ran over and hugged her, quickly putting her into a headlock. Pidge squawked and flailed, but eventually gave up and just stayed in the headlock. Matt grinned at everyone. “Hey guys, been a while. Who’s the new guy?”

“I’m Curtis.” He said as he offered him a hand. “I’m a Waterbender from the Foggy Swamp tribe.”

“Oh neat!” Matt let go of Pidge and shook his hand. “I’ve read some stuff about your tribe. You guys don’t really leave the swamp much do you?”

Curtis chuckled a little. “Yeah, we kind of like the swamp. It gives us all we need… But some days we have to head out and explore, you know?”

“That’s fair.” Said Matt. “Anyway, how was the air temple? Learn anything about metalbending Pidge?”

“I’m working on it. Give it time.”

Sam and Colleen came out with the wok and a bunch of ingredients. “Okay…” Said Sam. “Everyone in the mood for the Holt special volcano barnyard fried rice?”

“The what now?” Asked Lance.

Pidge rolled her eyes. “It’s chicken, beef, and pork fried rice and vegetables.”

“I’m a vegetarian…” Said Shiro quietly.

“So am I.” Said Colleen. She held up a much smaller wok and smiled at him. “I guess I can make a bigger batch for the both of us.”

***

Keith couldn’t help but love this fried rice. He had always been a huge fan of spices and this volcano fried rice was beautiful. Lance looked like he was dying as snot poured out his nose and tears were streaming down his face. Everyone else besides the Holt’s have various degrees of pain from eating spicy food.

“S-so hot…” Whimpered Lance as he continued to eat.

“Here.” Hunk passed Lance a rag.

“Thank you…” Lance wiped his eyes and blew his nose before he kept eating.

Sam looked mildly concerned. “Lance, if it’s too hot for you we can quickly make you something else.”

“No! It’s delicious!” Said Lance quickly. “My face is just melting!”

Matt grinned. “If you think this is hot, you should have some of dad’s winter soup. It’s legendary.”

Sam laughed. “Hey, what can I say? I love spices and it’s perfect for winter. The warriors all enjoy it when I make some big batches during winter.”

“So you’re a chef?” Questioned Hunk.

Sam chuckled and shook his head. “Nope. Just a farmer. Colleen and I take turns cooking. Unless there’s some prior engagement I make breakfast, Colleen makes dinner, and whoever is in the kitchen at the time makes lunch. But the winter soup and the special fried rice is a recipe passed down in my family from father to son. It was this food that my great, great, great, great grandfather used to win the heart of the general of the Kyoshi warriors all those years ago… Or so family legend goes.”

“That’s such a lovely story.” Sobbed Lance. “I think I have chilli powder in my eyes…”

Keith shook his head and finished eating. “This is really good. Can I have seconds please?”

“You may.” Sam happily took Keith’s bowl and filled it up. He then put a few extra scoops of the delicious food into it to make it into a huge mountain of food. “Here.” Keith grinned and happily chowed down. It tasted so good. “So, what are you boys going to be up to when you eventually leave?”

“We’re going to the Southern Water Tribe.” Said Hunk. Then we’re going to make a bit of a round trip back to the Library and then head over to the Fire Nation. It’s a little different to the route I usually take, but I’m getting a lot of interesting things to sell.”

Shiro looked up from his food. “Keith and I are doing a bit of a spiritual pilgrimage.” Keith was thankful that he didn’t disclose the real reason they were wandering the world.

“Yeah we are.” Confirmed Keith. “We’re hitting up all the air temples.”

“That sounds fascinating.” Said Sam. “There must be so many things from the past that we have yet to discover… Anyway, Lance? Curtis? What are you boys up to?”

Curtis shrugged. “Well, for starters there’s no one in my village that is single, interested in me, and not super old or super young. I’m just looking for love I guess?”

“I’m just going on a world trip before I go home and have to be a responsible adult.” Said Lance. “Got political stuff to do and my parents have a wife lined up for me.”

“Do you know who it is?” Asked Colleen.

Lance shrugged. “Not a clue. Parents make the initial deal, then we meet, court for a year or so, and then we get married. This kind of marriage is more common among the more political families… By the way is there something I can drink? Some water?”

Matt passed him a cup of milk. “Here. Milk helps and water makes it worse.”

“Okay.” Lance quickly chugged the milk. “... Okay, that feels better.”

“Weak.” Muttered Keith under his breath as he absolutely demolished his bowl of fried rice. He was stuffed but he still wanted seconds. Especially after having to live off food that wasn’t as spicy as he was used to. It was just so bland. Especially everything that Shiro made. Unless burnt was a flavour.


	269. Fish facts (Shop AU X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they made it to the aquarium! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith and Lance got to the aquarium earlier than Shiro. Lance looked kind of nervous, and Keith felt nervous. He really hoped that Shiro was going to bring Curtis or Adam. Lance was nervously playing with one of the many bracelets he had put on. It kind of annoyed Keith that Lance was so worried about Shiro. 

Shiro this, Shiro that. Always Shiro. Just Shiro. Why was Shiro always considered the good brother? Okay, that was a dumb question. Shiro was the golden boy. A straight A student that got perfect grades. Everyone was always comparing him to Shiro because Shiro was just Shiro. It did make him resent Shiro a little when they were teenagers, but Keith couldn’t be mad at Shiro. It wasn’t his fault that Shiro was perfect.

Eventually Shiro showed up, and Keith breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Shiro with some guy… They re realised that he was with two guys… He raised an eyebrow when he saw him and Shiro just smiled and shrugged.

“Hey guys. This is Adam and Curtis.” Shiro gestured to the two men respectively. 

They looked like enough, but Keith was just surprised that both of them had turned up. “Couldn’t pick just one?” He asked.

Curtis chuckled a little. “Well, we all kind of met up and decided to give polyamory a go. I mean, I don’t think I’m the jealous type.”

“I don’t think so either.” Said Adam. “Anyway, I’ll go and get our tickets. The line up isn’t that long.”

Eventually the group was able to get into the aquarium and the two groups ended up splitting up a little as Curtis happily dragged Adam and Shiro towards the seals. Leaving Keith and Lance alone. Keith was relieved by this, but seeing Lance’s expression made him feel a little disheartened.

“Is something wrong Lance?” He asked.

Lance shrugged. “It’s nothing. Those three look good together huh?”

Keith looked over at the trio. They were an objectively good looking group. “Yeah, I guess? But who cares? Let them live their own lives.”

“I guess…”

Keith sighed a little at that. “Look, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want it. But you just need to let it go… Are those small lobsters?”

Lance looked over at the tank that Keith was pointing at. “Oh, those are yabbies.” He said. “They are an Australian freshwater crustacean. They are found all over the country but are mostly found in Victoria, New South Wales, and clusters in Queensland and South Australia. They are mostly eaten by the platypus and other fish.”

“That’s the thing that looks like a beaver with a duck face, right?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. They are actually venomous.”

“... They are what now?”

“Well, only the males.” Said Lance. “They have these little spurs on their back feet and they sting you if you grab their tails. There is no cure for the venom and you just have to let it course through your body. They also glow blue under UV lights.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… Just something I heard my sisters talk about…”

“Right.”

They continued to look through the freshwater fish and Lance would toss out a few fish facts about each fish. He seemed to be in his own element and started to relax. Which was nice. It made Keith feel happy to see Lance just being Lance. He was so happy and content just talking about fish.

Keith asked him a few times about different kinds of fish and Lance happily answered any question he had. And that was just the freshwater fish. It was a whole new ball game when it came to saltwater fish.

Lance went on and on about different kinds of fish and coral that he saw. As he talked Keith noticed that Lance seemed to have a bit of a pattern. He would talk about something that he really enjoyed, then he would catch himself, then laugh and say his sisters or brothers told him. Then he would start again. Keith wasn’t very sure what to make of it.

***

Lance loved the aquarium. He always loved the aquarium. The ocean was such a huge, vast place that no one really fully understood. Humanity knew more about space than they did about the ocean. It gave him some strange feeling of calm when he thought about it. Kind of like he didn’t matter.

Lance was okay with being inconsequential to the world in the grand scheme of things. He didn’t care about making a huge impact on the world, but just wanted to make a positive impact on the lives of his friends and the people he cared about. He might have been able to do that if he could do something productive with his life. He just wished that he could have found something useful to do with his life. He wanted to go to school, but if he wasn’t at least as good as his twin sister, then he knew he would have dropped out and wasted his parents money.

“-so the three main types are fringing reefs, barrier reefs, and coral atolls.” Said Lance. They were looking at a tank filled with corals, anemones, a small colourful fish. “Corals are actually related to jellyfish and anemones.”

“Really? That’s pretty cool.” Said Keith. “It’s pretty cool to learn about what’s related to what.”

Lance nodded. “Yeah, did you know that sea sponges eat their own brains and spaniel chords when they become adults?”

“... What?”

“... Just something that my sister told me once.”

Keith sighed and shook his head.

“What?”

“You know, you don’t have to say that your sister or brother told you something. Or you heard it on the TV.” Said Keith calmly. “There is nothing wrong with being smart. Smart is good.”

Lance looked surprised and kind of felt a little strange. He knew that there was nothing wrong with being smart. But he wasn’t smart. His siblings were smart. He was just parroting things without really thinking about them.

They were quiet for a bit and they walked through a section of the aquarium that was just a glass tunnel. You could see fish on every single side. It was one of his favourite exhibits. Lance loved seeing the turtles, stingrays, and nurse sharks swimming by.

He watched a rather large nurse shark swim by. They had a really spooky looking face, but it was still really cool. Lance had always liked sharks. They were so cool, but misunderstood. He would have loved seeing if he could have made it as a marine biologist or maybe even a conservationist? That would have been fun.

“Do you like sharks?” Asked Keith.

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Sharks are my favourite animal.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… Um… F-female nurse sharks give birth to live young, but have multiple babies in their womb.”

“Oh? Do they just not get fertilized?” Asked Keith.

Lance shook his head. “No. They cannibalize each other in the womb before they are birthed. The most developed baby sharks eat their undeveloped brothers and sisters until there is only one left.”

Keith looked slightly horrified. “Who figured that out?”

Lance shrugged. “Some scientists found a dead nurse shark and dragged it onto their boat for testing. It’s hard to tell the sex of a shark just by looking at them so they out on some gloves and stuck their finger up there and got bitten by an unborn baby shark.”

“... Nature is fucked.”

“That it is.”

Keith looked over at a turtle. “Why does that one have those weird looking hooks on their flippers?”

Lance looked at the turtle and smiled a little. “That’s a male turtle. They have those little hooks on their flippers to hold onto the female’s shell while mating.”

“Huh. Really?”

“Yeah, but that is… um…” Lance frowned a little and bit his tongue.

Keith looked over at Lance and smiled a little. He seemed to know that Lance was about to say it was something he knew because of TV or his siblings. He tried to be a little more conscious of that. Smart was good.

They bumped into the trio around the jellyfish. Shiro happily waved at them. “You boys having fun?”

Lance smiled and nodded. “Yeah. What about you guys?”

“The turtles were cute.” Said Curtis. “Those are my favourite.”

Adam smiled a little. “I haven’t been here in a long time. It’s changed a lot. I like it.”

“Do you guys want to get lunch now?” Asked Shiro. “It is pretty close to the gift shop.”

“Heck yeah!” Said Curtis. “Let’s get some fish!”

The three of them ended up going to the restaurant area and ended up ordering three seafood platters. Which consisted of battered fish, prawns, scallops, calamari rings, and of course, a mountain of fries. Lance kind of enjoyed this set up. It almost felt like he was on a group date. But no, he had to realize that this was not the case at all.

Shiro was with Adam and Curtis. Adam was quick witted with a hint of dry humor and cinasizim. Curtis was extremely cheerful, but had insightful things to say… And of course they were both unbelievably sexy and definitely the kind of people that someone like Shiro would date.

All too soon lunch was over and the group wandered into the gift shop to buy things. Lance looked around at all the things there. It was mostly toys and plushy things. Kids stuff. There were a few puzzles too, but Lance didn’t know what to get. He probably wouldn’t get anything this time.

Then Lance and Keith said goodbye to Shiro and his boyfriends. The ride home was pretty uneventful and the two made their way back into the apartment. Lance flopped down onto the couch when they both got inside.

Lance let out a long sigh before he glanced up at him. “So, did you get anything from the gift shop?”

“Yeah.” Said Keith. “A jellyfish keychain… Also this.” Keith put a kind of heavy box on Lance’s chest. “Here. It’s a 3D plastic shark puzzle.”

Lance was kind of surprised. He picked up the box and looked at it. It was a 3D nurse shark puzzle. It was made out of semi clear blue plastic. “O-oh! You didn’t have to get me something…”

Keith shrugged. “Don’t mention it. I just wanted to.” He walked over to the kitchen and looked at the calendar. “By the way, I’m working at the garage tomorrow, so I’m going to go to bed early.”

“O-okay.” Said Lance quietly as he looked at the puzzle. Lance could feel the heat rising in his face. Keith getting him a gift was just so… It was so sweet. Kind of like being on a date or something. Lance shook his head. It wasn’t a date. They were just friends being friends… Just friends.


	270. Ranch (X-men AU XXVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send him to the Ranch! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Over the next few weeks Keith and Tex continued to communicate through email. Keith quickly grew to like talking to the man. He liked getting photos and little messages from the man and piecing together who he was. They eventually exchanged phone numbers to make it easier and they would exchange a few pictures each a day. A few of each other and a few of the things around them.

Keith liked the photos Tex took of the cows on his ranch and a few of his personal animals. He had a really big pig that he had raised from a piglet. It was very, very cute. He also sent him photos of new cows and calfs. They were very cute. Keith wanted to pat them, if they weren’t afraid of him.

Adam’s background check on Tex seemed to go well too. Considering neither Adam nor Shiro had said anything to him he could only assume that was the case. Eventually Keith did bring up Tex to Shiro after they had one of their mentor sessions out in the forest. Lance didn’t join them because he had fallen behind on some reading for English and Shiro made him do that instead of mentoring.

The two of them ended up sitting in a tree after their session. Keith was waiting out the effects of hawk blood. He ended up with telescopic vision and very thick claws that were kind of like talons. The increased vision made him a little dizzy but the breeze in the trees made him feel a little better.

“You seem to be in a better mood today.” Noted Shiro.

“Yeah. Things have been going pretty good for me, all things considered.” Said Keith. He very slowly opened his eyes and could clearly see a line of ants marching up the tree several feet in front of them. He closed his eyes again. “I um… So, I think I found my dad…”

“Yeah? Adam told me about that.” Said Shiro calmly. “Look, if you want to meet with him at some point you can.”

“Really?”

“Yep.” Shiro moved a little closer to Keith and wrapped one of his wings around him to give him some comfort. “You’re an adult and I am proud of you. Next time there are holidays do you want me to go down with you?”

“... You’d do that?” Asked Keith. “Really?”

“Of course I would.” Said Shiro. “I would do anything for you. Keith, you’re like my little brother. Hell, you are my brother. I’m going to do everything I can to help you.”

“Thanks… I think I want to meet him.” Said Keith quietly.

Shiro gently patted his shoulder. “Then you can meet him. We’ll do what we can to make this possible. Okay?”

Keith smiled a little and leaned into Shiro’s arm. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

***

That night at dinner, Lance noticed that Keith looked a lot happier than he did earlier. He was swishing his tail slightly and hardly complaining about the tomatoes in his food. Pidge noticed it too and pointed her fork at him. 

“What’s got you so happy?” She asked.

Keith smiled slightly and shrugged. “Um, well you guys know how I kind of met my dad? Well, I’m going to try and meet with him when we next have holidays.”

Hunk grinned. “Hey man, that’s really good. Congrats.”

“Thanks.”

Lance frowned a little and started to count on his fingers. “So that’s like… A little under two months away? Damn, I’m gonna be all alone next holidays?”

Keith was a little confused by that statement, but Hunk quickly chimed in. “Still having trouble with your family?”

“Just my dad.” Said Lance coldly. “I am starting to think my dad was either scorned by a mutant or there’s some kind of secret mutant in the family. Like an uncle or something…”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Said Hunk. “You know what people used to do to mutants… If the family didn’t kill the mutant they would exploit them or hide them.”

Pidge nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Weren’t there dozens of cases back in the Victoria era of rich people boarding up their mutant kids in the walls of their houses and forgot about them? If the family was nice they would remember to feed them.”

Keith’s fur bristled a little. “Yeah… That’s really fucked up…”

Lance nodded in agreement. “Yeah, anyway. You’re leaving me alone for the holidays?”

“Um…” Keith picked at his food a little. “Well, I guess if you want to come along I could ask Shiro?”

“Moral support.” Said Hunk. 

“I’m good at that.” Said Lance with a grin.

***

Keith was a ball of nervous energy the closer the time got to meeting Tex in person. They had made a plan to meet up with Tex at his ranch in the afternoon. He was very skittish when he and Shiro got off the plane. Lance seemed very happy about being off the plane.

“Man, it feels so good to stretch my legs.” He said with a grin. “... You okay there Keith?”

“Yeah… Just nervous.” Keith was kind of awkwardly moving from one foot to another. His fur was puffing up a little and he was nervously displaying his claws. It wasn’t just that he was meeting his dad in person, but the fact he was in a new place and people were looking at him. Yeah, he was wearing some of the stuff he usually wore when he was out, but it was so damn hot he was just wearing his hat, sunglasses, and tucked his tail under his shirt.

Shiro smiled at him and gently patted his shoulder. To travel on a plane Shiro had to bind his wings. He had mastered the art hiding them under his shirt and passing like a normal human. However he did look uncomfortable.

“You can do this Keith.” He said. “Come on. I rented a car.”

The entire drive there was nerve racking to Keith. He kept looking out the window while nervously digging at his jeans. If he kept this up he was probably going to rip his jeans apart so badly that they would become jean shorts.

Eventually after what seemed like forever but at the same time no time at all, they were there. They pulled up to a rather nice looking farmhouse. The paint was a little cracked and peeled in places but it looked lived in and loved.

Lance gently placed his hand on Keith’s arm. “Keith? Did you hear me?”

“Huh?”

“We’re getting out now.”

“Ah, right…” Keith nervously got out of the car with Shiro. “Is he here?”

Shiro shrugged. “Maybe? This is the right time. We should probably knock on the door.”

“Yeah… are you going to take that wing binder off?”

“Yeah, I think I probably will… You go and knock on the front door.” Shiro walked back over to the car to take his wing binder off.

Keith looked up at the patio to the farmhouse and shuddered. What if things didn’t turn out the way he wanted? What if Tex hated him? What if everything was a lie? He was getting scared. His ears flattened against his head and he slowly started to back away slowly.

He backed right into Lance. Which made him jump and squeak a little. “H-hey!”

“Whoa, you okay Keith?” Asked Lance. “Do you need a moment?”

“Y-yeah…” He nervously looked at Lance. The other boy looked concerned. “I don’t know if I can do this… I mean I want to, but I don’t.”

“We can do it together?” Suggested Lance.

“I-I guess we-”

“Keith?” Called an unfamiliar voice. A man had come walking out from around the side of the house. He was tall and built. Spoke with a bit of a Southern drawl in his voice and looked very shocked that he was seeing Keith in the flesh.

Keith nervously swallowed and waved slightly at him. “H-hi Tex.”

Tex just stared at Keith for a few moments before he smiled and walked over to him. When he was close enough the two of them didn’t seem to know if they should shake hands or hug. Before Keith knew it, he was suddenly in a bear hug. He was instantly enveloped in the earthy smells, barn smells, and sweat. Yet, it was comforting. Keith just couldn’t help but feel safe in the arms of this person who had never been there before.

Suddenly Shiro cleared his throat and the two of them separated. Shiro had taken off his binder and his shirt. He was wearing a loose singlet so his wings could stretch free. Tex seemed a little surprised and happily held his hand out to him.

“Nice to meet you.” Said Tex. “You’re that Takashi Shirogane that’s always on the news aren’t you? No one has a wingspan quite like yours.”

Shiro smiled at him and shook his hand. “Yeah. I’m Shiro. Has Keith mentioned me?”

“From time to time.” Said Tex in a pleasant voice. He looked over at Lance. “And you would be… Lance?”

“That’s right sir.” Said Lance. “Nice to finally meet you.”

Tex grinned. “I guess I have you to thank for this little reunion. The boys are just finishing up tonight and are gonna head back to town. Come on in. We got about eighteen years to catch up on.”

***

Lance was more than pleased by how everything turned out. Keith was practically attached to Tex at the hip and kept watching him when he left the room. The group ended up sitting in Tex’s lounge room while he handed out cans of soda. Instantly Keith and Tex started to dive into each other’s lives trying to find out what happened. Of course Keith popped the big question first.

“Why did my mum give me up?” He asked. “Why couldn’t you take me?”

Tex leaned back in his chair as he thought over what to say. “Straight to the point huh? Just like her… You mother was part of a mercenary group. She claimed she was pretty much a spy, but she was also a trained assassin. I don’t know the full details but she and her group were going on an extremely dangerous mission that their team leader called; Deadlight. I have no idea why.”

Keith was hanging off of Tex’s every word. His ears swiveled and twisted in weird ways. Lance was also listening intently, but more or less to see if what he said matched up with what Krolia told him. 

“Anyway, the way she talked about it she was acting like she was going to die. So we made the last month memorable...” Tex coughed a little and shook his head. “Anyway, nine months later I got a call from her. She’s sobbing uncontrollably and begging for forgiveness. I had no idea what was going on and she just hung up. Now she never cries, I ain’t tech savvy so I had no idea how to locate her or anything like that… So I wait, and wait… Then a week later she calls me…”

“What did she say?” Asked Keith. He looked extremely tense. Lance was a little tense too. Shiro also looked nervous, but he seemed to be more nervous for Keith.

“She explained what Deadlight was. It was a mission where her and her team were infiltrating a mutant terrorist group. They got caught by the group and underwent forced mutation.”

Keith looked very confused. “What? So, she wasn’t born a mutant?”

Tex shook his head. “Nope. Your mother was a completely normal, average, everyday human… But at the time of her capture she didn’t know she was pregnant. No one knew she was pregnant. She apparently got the worst of it. They apparently didn’t get many pregnant women. Her group managed to escape when she was heavily pregnant, but they had to hide in a safe house while they tried to figure out how to control their mutations. Being newly converted mutants with plenty of animal mutations none of them could control their emotions properly. They were all terrified about what would happen when you were born.”

This was all pretty much lining up with what Krolia had told Lance. So that was good. At least in Lance’s mind. He looked over at Keith. The man just looked more and more confused the more Tex talked.

“They had intel that the terrorists had some kind of mind reading mutant on their side and they didn’t know what they would do to you when you were born.” Explained Tex. “They reasoned that if you stayed with them and one of them got compromised then you were going to be put in danger. I screamed at her for a good ten minutes for not telling me about you. I told her that I would have taken you. You didn’t have to go into the system… Then she told me something that really broke me for a few years…”

“What was that?” Asked Shiro.

Tex frowned a little and looked down at his can of drink. “Should have just broken out the alcohol… Anyway, I’m paraphrasing here but it boiled down to; The foster system is hell for mutant children. How many hells did she have to suffer for nine months to believe that was the safest place for our son?” Tex looked away from Keith. He was unable to meet his eyes. “... She’s never told me the whole truth about what happened to her, but at that time when you were born there was a news story about some poor little kid that was beaten to death by his foster parents because they had demon eyes… Kid just had goat eyes. That’s it. How could that be better than…? I kept trying to find you. But all I knew was that you were a boy. I didn’t even know what you looked like.”

Shiro frowned. “Yeah, back in the day it was notoriously difficult to find anyone in the foster system when they were born mutants. It was like a huge conspiracy to just sweep them away and pretend that they didn’t exist. Things are a little better now but… I doubt you would be able to do much even if you knew what he looked like.”

Tex nodded in agreement. “Yeah… After that we didn’t get back together. We still call and text once in a while, but we aren’t together anymore. I’ve forgiven her for what she did because I genuinely think she did what she did because she was trying to save your life, but the fact she had to make that decision because of what they did…”

“So I’m just a mutant because of what some terrorists did to her?” Asked Keith. “I could have been born normal but because of them I’m… I’m this thing?”

Tex shrugged. “I guess…” He took a deep breath and stood up. “Alright, I think it’s time to start thinking about making dinner. You boys all like steak right?”

“What?” Asked Keith in shock. “But I-”

Shiro quickly squashed him. “Sounds good. I think we all need time to decompress after that. Right Lance?”

He nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Decompressing is good. Want some help cooking? I like cooking.”

Tex nodded and the two of them walked to the kitchen. Lance instantly noticed that Tex was off. Telling Keith the truth about what happened with Krolia really seemed to disturb him. Lance figured that Shiro had noticed that Tex wasn’t taking this very well.

“Hey um, are you okay?” Asked Lance.

Tex’s smile wavered slightly but he nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine… Keith deserved to know the truth.”

“But you didn’t tell him her name?”

“I respect her privacy.” Said Tex. “If she wants to know him or not then that’s her decision. If she wants me to give him any information about her then I will… But for now I need to step back a little and focus on something else… Can you peel the potatoes?” Lance nodded and quickly went about peeling the potatoes for Tex. He hoped that Shiro was talking to Keith and calming him down a little.


	271. Pain (Hellpoint AU XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little short, but enjoy the blood splatter. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Shiro and Lance reformed at the checkpoint. They coughed and spluttered and took a moment to regain their senses. Shiro blinked a few times as he slowly got to his feet. “Okay… So ho did you die?”

“I think it was technically a murder, suicide.” Muttered Lance. “I fell over the edge and Keith grabbed me. I told him to let me go and he let go, so we both fell and died.”

Shiro nodded and frowned a little. “But if you both died, then where is Keith?”

Lance frowned and looked around. That was a good question. Didn’t Keith hit the checkpoint too? No, he hit the checkpoint in the other room. He was going to hit this one but they got attacked by the ermite before he could.

“He’d be in the other room.” Said Lance. “The one with the weird growth thing.”

“... We should go back.”

They walked back to that room and quickly found Keith. He had looked pretty fucked up. Especially his legs. They did not look normal. Kind of looked like they had a few extra joints. Keith was curled up and whimpering. Clearly in pain. He was muttering something over and over again.

Shiro walked over to him. “Keith? Are you okay there?”

“... me…” He whimpered. “... ill me…”

“Keith?” Shrio crouched down next to him when Keith suddenly sprung up and tackled Shiro to the ground. He had a weird black gel covering his head. It was invading every orifice on his face. He was clawing at Shiro’s face while practically shrieking in animalistic pain.

“KILL ME!” He shrieked. “KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME!”

Shiro was doing his best to keep Keith from ripping out his throat. “Lance!” he called. “Help!”

“KILL ME!”

Lance froze up. He knew what he should do, but at the same time he didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to kill Keith. Lance gulped and shoved the barrel of his gun into Keith’s screaming mouth. “I’m sorry!” He pulled the trigger and the top of Keith’s head exploded, leaving just a lower jaw attached to his head. Seconds later he turned into red goop and Shiro got covered in it.

Shiro slowly sat up and looked shocked. “That… That was…”

“I-I’m sorry…” Said Lance quietly as he fell to his knees. “I’m so sorry… So, so sorry… I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Lance.” Said Shiro in what seemed like a reassuring manner. “You had to do it.”

A few minutes later the checkpoint in that room spat out another Keith. This one didn’t have crippled legs, but his skin was purple. Keith quickly scrambled away from the checkpoint, looking thoroughly freaked out.

“We have to get out of here now.” He said. “There’s some weird living goo in this weird flesh thing.”

“Right. Let’s get out of here.” Shiro pulled Lance to his feet and the group quickly raced out of that building and breathed a quick sigh of relief. For the moment they were relatively safe.

“I-I am so sorry.” Said Lance. “I… I didn’t mean to…”

“Blow my brains out?” Asked Keith. “You did me a favour. That gel stuff was probably stabbing at my brain. It was fucking painful. Killing me was the best option. Also, my legs actually work now… Do we still have to look for that canister?”

Shiro sighed and nodded. “Unfortunately yes. We don’t have any other plan.” Sadly, Shiro was right.

***

Hunk and Allura had no idea what to do anymore. Pidge fell through a wall and they couldn’t open it again to get to her. Those bastard angel things were still walking around, and the ermites were still doing their own thing. They needed to find Pidge and get back to looking for that damn canister. 

“Well wherever Pidge is she is probably okay…” Said Allura. “I mean, she hasn’t popped up at a checkpoint.”

“Yeah… We’ll find her eventually…” Though Hunk didn’t sound very convinced by this. They had to keep moving.

The ending up walking down a hallway that ended in a pit. No, not a pit. It looked more like an arena. There were random body parts strewn about the bottom of the pit along with obvious drag marks. It was impossible to tell if the bodies were that of the ermites or some other poor unfortunate creature.

“Damn…” Muttered Hunk. “Um, Allura, I know this is a long shot, but is any of this kind of familiar?”

Allura frowned and nodded. “Yes… But from printed pictures and things from museums… This looks like a fighting arena. I guess gladiatorial style combat… Fighting was entertainment in the more barbaric days. Quiznack, what happened here? Nothing makes sense I-” They heard someone approaching them and they became very quiet.

Moments later Pidge came into view followed by Fewbar. Pidge’s eyes lit up and she waved at them. “Guys! You’ll never believe what I found out.”

Pidge talked very quickly about what she had found out from the other Pidge’s in their hideout. She explained how they were all clones, how they were being farmed for their quintessence and how Null definitely knew what was going on.

It all seemed unbelievable to the other two. “Why wouldn’t Null tell us she had seen us before if we just talked to her?” Asked Hunk.

Fewbar shrugged. “She didn’t know how much you guys had been through. Telling you guys the truth always means a risk of one of you mentally snapping and then the whole group disbands. She probably actually needs a quintessence canister, but she didn’t tell you guys much about this because… well she might not feel like it’s a safe bet to tell you all the truth.”

Allura looked a little conflicted. “I guess but… Okay. We need to meet up with the others and get them to understand the situation immediately.”

“That’s probably for the best.” Said Fewbar. “But you know… This doesn’t really change what needs to be done. We need to destroy the base. Completely obliterate it. We need to stop the engines that keep this station in place and then let this place drift off into the blackhole.”

“... I can’t believe we are all clones.” Said Hunk. “I… So I’m not really the original Hunk? Like, I know I’m not because I died and everything but… This cycle has been happening for so long?”

Fewbar nodded. “Unfortunately yes… Even I am not really sure what happened to the original Fewbar. I found footage of what looks like might have been the original me throwing themselves into a plasma core after being hunted down by engineers. I’m not too sure… Anyway, I need to go. I’m trying to try and destroy the engine in this part. You guys need to watch out for Atropos. We are really close to where they are.”

“What do they look like?” Asked Hunk.

She shook her head. “You’ll know when you see them. Very tall, lots of arms. It’s really fucked up looking. You’ll know about it.” They quickly slipped into the shadows and vanished.

Pidge looked up at her friends and gave them a somber look. “There’s more… I um… I know more about the Architect. None of you are going to like this… So apparently the fact that we’re getting tortured in this hell isn’t just because these weirdos are all doom and gloom. Emotions upon death affect the energy of the quintessence when they die. He’s soaking a trans dimensional comet in that stuff and trying to change its energy to open a rift to the Altran afterlife.”

Allura looked completely shocked. “He wants to go beyond the black rainbow?”

“Apparently so.”

“Um, why?”

“Not a clue.”

Allura thought for a bit. “From what I remember about old Altean myths it was said that only gods could freely travel between the land of the living and that of the dead. Maybe he wants to become a god?”

“Fucking god complex.” Muttered Pidge. “A tale as old as time… We really need to get to the others before something really bad happens. The canister can wait.” Allura and Hunk agreed. The trio quickly set off to try and find the others before anything too tragic happened to them.


	272. Grooming builds bonds (Cat-tron AU V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cats being dumb. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

With a screech Pidge bolted out of the catflip and through a small hole in the fence. Pidge had been traumatized. Her owner, well one of them, a small child, and forced a series of scrunchies onto her tail. She had a whole damn rainbow sticking out of her butt. It made balancing hard. She quickly ran as fast as she could through the village and to Hunk’s home.

Hunk was lounging on his back in the sun. “Hunk!” She cried. “Help me!”

Hunk rolled over and looked confused. “Huh? Oh Pidge what happened to you?”

“My stupid human! Help me get these off my tail”

“I’m on it.” Hunk happily stretched out and started to help pull the scrunchies off her tail. 

Pidge only relaxed when the last one was removed. She let out a sigh of relief and fell over. “Finally...”

“Stressful day?”

“Very… I wanna go to Allura’s place…”

“Want me to come with you?”

“Yes please.”

So the two cats made their way to Allura’s home. The garden was relatively quiet for the moment and the two found warm spots to relax in. Unsurprisingly the peace was shattered rather quickly when Lance ran through a bush at high speed while a very angry looking Keith chased him.

They watched the two cats running around like lunatics for a good ten minutes before Lance got tired and Keith was able to tackle him. The two cats rolled from one bush to another. Once they were out of sight Lance let out a shriek. Seconds later Keith marched out of the bush looking extremely smug.

Lance followed him shortly afterwards limping slightly. “You are mean.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“You bit me on the butt!

“I bit your thigh.”

“My butt!”

“Thigh!”

Lance pouted and hobbled over to the other two cats. “What did he bite? My butt or my thigh?” The other two cats looked at Lance’s rear end before they came to their conclusions.

“He bit your thigh.” Said Hunk.

“That’s a thigh bite.” Said Pidge.

Lance’s jaw dropped. He looked shocked that they would agree that it was his thigh and not his butt. “Keith bit me on the butt!”

“Three people say it was your thigh.” Said Keith calmly. “Deal with it.”

Lance glared at Keith and started to groom himself. He continued to lament about his poor butt and how Keith was so mean to bite him. However he couldn’t complain too much. Keith didn’t puncture any skin so there was no blood. Worst Lance probably got was a bruise.

“What did you do anyway?” Asked Pidge. “Keith doesn’t just attack anyone for no reason… Then again he does kind of see your face and instinctually tries to slap it…”

“Hey!”

Keith stretched and happily curled up on a step. “I was training and Lance interrupted me.”

“Training?” Questioned Hunk.

Keith nodded. “Yep. Training to beat up those jerk Lykoi cats! Lance ran behind me and swatted my tail!”

“Yeah, that would do it.” Said Pidge. “You deserved to get your thigh bitten.” She put extra emphasis on the word thigh. Which just made Lance’s fur puff up.

“You are all so mean to me! I have done nothing wrong! You are all ganging up on me!” Whined Lance. Keith rolled his eyes and knocked Lance over and sat on him. “Why? This is abuse! Abuse I say!”

“Shut up. You’re so loud.” Complained Keith as he started to lick the back of Lance’s head.

Lance froze in shock. “... You’re grooming me? A trap! A trap I say! Isn’t gonna do something weird to me!”

“Shut up and just take it.” Grumped Keith and he continued to groom him. Lance continued to whine and flail his paws around. He was acting like this was the worst thing in the world. 

As he continued to scream, Queen Melenor looked outside and spotted the group. She looked shocked and quickly went over to them. Keith stopped trying to groom Lance and ran away. He was still rather skittish around humans that he wasn’t sure of.

“Are you okay there kitty?” She asked as he gently reached out and patted Lance’s head. Lance closed his eyes and purred softly. Queen Melenor knew just how to give the perfect amount of scratches. Lance continued to purr as the Queen ran her fingers down his body. Lance couldn’t help but flop to his side and let the queen continue to scratch him all over. He felt all happy and tingly when she was done.

“Noooooo!” Whined Lance when she pulled her hands away. “Keep patting me! Feels good! Give me more! More pats please!”

Since Melenor couldn’t understand cat talk, she just looked down at Lance and shook her head. “Such an overly dramatic cat. You are fine.”

Lance gasped in shock. “But Keith bit my butt!”

“Thigh.” Corrected Pidge.

“And he tried to attack me!”

“He was trying to groom you.” Said Hunk.

“A cunning ruse to lull me into a false sense of security so he could attack me!” Said Lance. “Only the Queen’s presence was able to save me from this fate of getting attacked further!”

Pidge rolled her eyes and yawned. “You’re too dramatic. Keith was trying to be nice to you.”

Lance huffed and marched after the Queen. He was trying to get her to pat him again.

***

After the Queen showed up, Keith bolted out of the yard and straight into the next property. He sat down for a bit to try and catch his breath. After the adrenaline of running away had worn off he couldn’t help but feel a little sad. He was trying to be nice to Lance. He felt a little bad that he had upset Lance so much. It was just a little nip for him being a jerk. Shiro had always said that grooming was a good bonding activity but he guessed that he probably wasn’t good at grooming.

His ears drooped and he felt bad. Shiro had been telling him that he needed to start making friends with the other cats and to stop being mean to Lance. He wasn’t even being that mean to Lance. At least that’s what he thought. Maybe he was being a little too mean?

Keith sniffled a little and started to walk home. Shiro wasn’t going to be happy to him when he found out he bit Lance… Even if Lance kind of deserved it. Shiro would find some way of making him feel guilty.

On the way back home Keith stopped by the fishmongers to see if he could get a nibble of something tasty to make himself feel a little better. He almost did a double take when he saw some lykoi looking through the dumpster.

Keith puffed up at hissed at them. The lykoi just looked over at Keith in an amused manner. A rather large lykoi strutted over to him. “Hello there kitten. Did you forget that we are allowed to eat from here now?”

“I didn’t forget.” Hissed Keith. “I just didn’t expect there to be so many of you here so suddenly. Hissss!”

“Is someone letting air out of a balloon?” Asked another lykoi. With their fur plastered the way it was they kind of looking like they had a bit of a mohawk going on. They looked down from their perch on the dumpster. “Oh, it’s just a kitten.”

“I’m not that small!” Whined Keith. “I am big! I am! I am a big cat!”

Suddenly a cat grabbed Keith by the scruff of his neck and lifted him up. Keith squeaked in shock and instinctively pulled his limbs close to his body and went limp. The cat carried Keith a bit away from the other lykoi and put him down. It was Kolivan.

“Now kitten, you shouldn’t be so rude. Someone might think you are trying to start a fight.”

Keith glared at him and puffed up. “And if I am? You lykoi cause nothing but trouble for the rest of us! You don’t deserve to be in the village! Get out!” 

Kolivan lightly bapped Keith’s head. “Little one, while I admire your enthusiasm you are very dumb. We are just fellow felines just trying to live our lives. None of us have a home to call our own. We are all street cats.”

“... Oh.”

Kolivan nodded and sat down, licking his paws. “Yes… Now, if you are done being grumpy, you can have some fish with us.”

“... Okay…” Keith hung his head and followed closely behind Kolivan back to the dumpster. 

The larger cat tossed a fish head out and it landed in front of Kolivan. “Thank you Antok.” Said Kolivan. He lightly patted the fish head and nodded at Keith. “Go on. Have some kitten.”

“My name is Keith…” Muttered Keith. He quickly took a bite. It was okay, but now he felt a little bad since Kolivan’s group were street cats. “I’m full.”

Kolivan shook his head. “No, no. Go ahead. Small kittens need to eat lots to grow up big and strong.”

“...” Keith ate a few more bites before sitting back down. “I’m done…”

Kolivan nodded and happily started to rip the fish head apart. Another lykoi joined him and quickly helped him rip apart the fish head. Keith just sat back a little and watched them. He nervously moved a little, shifting back and forth on his feet.

“Are you okay there little one?” Asked the mohawked lykoi.

Keith screeched and jumped. “Bastard!”

They just looked amused. “My name is Ulaz.”

“Bastard Ulaz!”

Ulaz chuckled and quickly licked Keith’s head, purring happily. Keith froze for a moment before he too started purring. The other lykoi took notice of this and some of them started to groom Keith too. It was a little confusing, but it was kind of nice. Keith did like being groomed. Soon that was over and Keith was pretty confused.

“Come find us any time.” Said Kolivan. “We’re usually by the park.”

Keith nodded and quickly ran home. He found Shiro passed out on a stone by the koi pond. He huffed and stretched out over the older bobtail and rested his head against Shiro’s stump. This made Shiro stir a little as he glanced down at Keith and twitched his nose.

“You smell funky… Like fish and other cats…”

“The lykoi apparently like me… At least Kolivan and his group.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“Yeah, but um… Am I bad at grooming?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because Lance was screaming like I was trying to murder him when I was trying to groom him…” Muttered Keith.

“Maybe you just need more practice?”

“Yeah, I guess…” Keith sighed and decided to take a nap on top of Shiro. Shiro didn’t mind and went back to continuing his nap.


	273. Gift giving (Shop AU XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone notice that Lance didn't get Keith anything from the Aquarium? Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

That morning when Keith went to work he couldn’t help but take pause and look at the completed shark puzzle on the coffee table. He smiled a little and looked at it. It looked like Lance had finished it when he went to bed last night. It made him happy to know that Lance liked it.

So he was all smiles when he got to work which raised a few eyebrows from some people. His coworker, Regris, ended up poking him with a screwdriver while he was eating his morning doughnut.

“Alright Keith. Spill.” He said. “What are you all happy about?”

“Can’t I just be happy?”

“Nope.”

Keith rolled his eyes and went about making himself a coffee. “I went to the aquarium yesterday.”

“Ah yes, the fish zoo.”

“... Yeah, anyway, we went to the aquarium and it was good.”

“Who did you go with?”

“My brother and his boyfriends and a friend from my other job.”

Suddenly his eyes lit up. “Oh! That guy! This was that stuff you were talking on the phone to your brother the other day, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Regris grinned. “So, this friend, you want to date him, don’t you?

Keith could feel his face heating up slightly. “Maybe… Shut up.”

That just made Regris laugh. “Yeah, whatever man. If you like the guy just grow some balls and ask him out.”

“I can’t… Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“He likes my brother…”

Regris gave him a sympathetic look, “Sucks man.”

“Yeah, I know… Anyway, what’s up first?”

Regris shrugged. “Air filter change on that Toyota?”

***

Lance was still giddy about going to the aquarium. He happily talked Allura’s ear off about it and showed her all the pictures that he took when he was there. Sure almost half of them had Keith in them too, but who cares? They were all good pictures.

“And this is the one of the sea turtle. His name is Tank.”

Allura nodded and pointed at his phone. “I thought his name was Keith?”

Lance rolled his eyes. Keith was in the photo looking at the turtle. “Yeah, but I took the photo of the turtle and he just happened to be in the shot.”

“Well I’m glad you boys had fun. You deserve to have fun every now and then Lance.” She looked over at Shiro. “So you went with your boyfriends. How did that go?”

Shiro shrugged. “It was nice enough. We all had fun. They got me a snowglobe and one of those little painted shells that looks like a turtle.”

“Keith got me a 3D puzzle of a shark.” Said Lance. “I managed to finish it in about an hour.” He was very proud of himself.

“Oh you like puzzles?” Asked Shiro.

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Puzzles are fun.”

“What did you get Keith?” Asked Allura.

“What?”

“Well Keith got you a puzzle. What did you get him?” She asked.

Lance felt the colour drain from his face. “Shiro! What does Keith like?!”

His sudden shouting started Shiro a little. “What?”

“What does Keith like?” Lance quickly looked around the store. “What’s his size? Does he like shirts? Should I get him some shirts? Does he like Hawiian shirts? Fuck!” Lance ran to the back room and started to sort through the bags of clothes with gusto. “What is his size?!”

Allura walked into the back room and helped him look through the clothing. “Ah, maybe he would like this?”

Lance looked up at what Allura was holding up. His eyes bugged a little. “Um, isn’t that very expensive? I can see the designer tag…”

She shrugged, folded up the clothing item and put it in a plastic bag. “It doesn’t matter. I haven’t registered it yet. Just take it. I’m sure Keith will love it.”

“... Thank you Allura.” Lance continued his shift and quickly headed home with Keith’s gift. The second he got home he started to panic again. What if Keith didn’t like it because it was second hand? He could have gone and bought this brand new. Keith would probably think he was being cheap. Keith knew he had money. What if it didn’t fit him? 

Lance took a few deep breaths and started to make dinner. He needed to do something to occupy himself. This would be fine. Chop up some vegetables, meat, stick it in a pot… Add spices. All that good stuff. He was still very nervous about the whole thing.

Eventually Keith came home and he looked tired and as usual, kind of dirty. “Hey.” He grunted. “I’m going to go and shower.”

“Okay. Dinner will be ready when you get out.”

Lance eyed the plastic bag he left on the counter and considered just throwing it into his room and hiding it so that Keith would never see it. It was a stupid gift idea. A stupid idea that Keith would never actually like. He was stupid for thinking this was a good idea.

Suddenly Keith was in the kitchen going through the fridge. Lance almost jumped out of his skin. Either Keith took a really quick shower or time had gotten away from him again. Probably the latter. Lance was an air head after all.

“What are you making?” Asked Keith.

“A simple stew…” He said quietly.

Keith nodded and looked at the shopping back on the counter top. “What’s this?”

Lance nervously bit his bottom lip. “Oh um… That’s um… It’s for you… I didn’t get you anything when we went to the aquarium and I just thought… You don’t have to wear it if you don’t like it. No pressure. You can tell me you hate it if you do. I’m horrible at gifts…”

He didn’t watch Keith as he took it out of the bag. He heard Keith make a surprised noise followed by rustling. “Hey, how do I look?”

Lance turned around to see Keith wearing the cropped red jacket. It looked good of Keith. Really good. “It looks good on you… Is it the right size?”

“It feels good.” Said Keith. “I like it. Why?”

“I… I picked it up at work today. Sorry it isn’t new… I can find out where I can get a new one. You don’t have to wear second hand clothing if you don’t want to…”

Keith shrugged. “Did you want to give this to me when you saw it?”

“W-well yeah, but-”

“Then I’m keeping it. It’s mine.” Said Keith. “How long until dinner?”

“Um, it’s pretty much ready now?”

“Cool. Can you put a bowl out for me? I’m going to see what I look like in the mirror.”

“O-okay…” Lance put out a bowl for him and waited for Keith to come back. He was worried that Keith would say he hated it and call him stupid for thinking he would like a jacket.

***

Keith absolutely loved the jacket. Lance got it for him. Something that Lance had picked out just for him. He was touched. He didn’t care if it was second hand and a little shorter than what he would have picked, but it was a gift. He could imagine Lance looking through piles of clothing before he found it.

He spun around a little and grinned. Lance really cared about him. Even if this was just some gift he got him because he didn’t get him anything at the aquarium. He happily wore it back out and sat with Lance to eat dinner.

“So, what do you think?” Asked Lance.

Keith smiled. “I like it. It’s really nice.” He ate some of the stew and felt like his tongue was in heaven. “Wow, this tastes amazing. You’re a really good cook.”

Lance blushed and looked down at his own bowl. “Oh, it’s nothing… Just a simple stew. My mama just taught all us kids some basic cooking. It’s nothing special.”

Keith shrugged. “Auntie always said that any home made meal is special because the person who made it made it with someone else in mind… Auntie is Shiro’s mum. I don’t know if I mentioned that that’s what I call her.”

Lance was definitely red now. He ate some more of his own stew. “Your Auntie is a smart woman.”

“Yeah, she is.” Keith happily ate the rest of his dinner and stayed in the red jacket for the rest of the night. He was incredibly happy and he hoped that Lance was at least happy that he liked the gift too.


	274. Mothman stole my what?! (Highschool AU XVI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith finally gets his surgery! Adam's health insurance is the good shit... And Pidge gets so much blackmail. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was really excited to have his surgery, even if Adam kept calling it a nose job. He knew he was joking around about it so he didn’t mind. if it meant he could breathe clearly again he could handle Adam poking fun at him. At least his friends seemed a little more sympathetic.

“So, they don’t break your nose, do they?” Asked Hunk. Keith had shared his news about his upcoming surgery over lunch. Once again everyone had brought their own food while Keith was eating what was alleged to be potato bake.

Pidge shook her head. “That’s only if there’s something wrong with the bone in his nose. This is just the fleshy bits in his nose. Might swell up a bit for a few days but that’s about it. My dad had to get a few removed a few years ago.”

“How did that go for him?” Asked Lance.

“He’s good now.” Said Pidge. “I do remember him sneezing pretty hard and it looked like someone had smashed him in the face with a baseball bat. All the gauze came out and some of the blood clots, and it was gross. Mum was not happy. But you should be fine.”

“Thanks.” Said Keith. “I haven’t really had a good night’s sleep in years. It’ll be great to actually know what it’s like to function like a human.”

“Being a human is overrated.” Said Pidge. “I’d rather be one of those immortal jellyfish. Like, they get to a certain age and then they get young again, then they start ageing again. That would be cool.”

“I want to be a shark.” Said Lance. “That would be fun.”

“I think I’d be a dog.” Said Hunk. “Dogs are fun.”

“... I like hippos.” Said Keith.

Pidge gave an approving nod. “Hippos are badass. Also, love how they spin their tail around shit. Amazing defence mechanism. Shit windmill.”

“They don’t actually do that.” Said Hunk. “Do they? Do hopps really crap and spin their tail around like windmill?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, they kind of do.”

“... Animals are weird.”

“So when are you going in for surgery?” Asked Lance.

Keith shrugged. “Um, I’m going in next week. I could only make a booking next week on Thursday so I won’t be in school Thursday and Friday next week… I’ll also probably be out of it Friday depending on what painkillers they give me…”

“You should be fine.” Said Pidge. “Want us to drop by on Friday, or like the weekend?”

Keith smiled a little as he pushed a slice of potato around his tray. “I’d really appreciate that… I might not be able to do much but yeah. I’d like that.”

Lance couldn’t help but grin. “Oh, now you’ve done it. As soon as I tell my mama you’re going to get like, two weeks worth of food… Especially when mama finds out that you’re living in a house without a woman.”

Pidge chuckled. “She’s kind of old fashioned like that huh?”

Lance shrugged. “She does have some old world ideas, but she means well.” He smiled a little at Keith and nudged his arm. “Look, she means well, but she has this idea that women should do most of the house work. So like, cooking and cleaning and stuff. She’ll probably have a hard time figuring out how your family works.”

“To be fair I’m only allowed to use the microwave because I keep falling asleep. It’s safer if I fall asleep and whatever I was heating up goes cold rather than burn down the house… Also Shiro couldn’t cook for shit before he lost his arm. He could burn water…”

“So Adam is the main cook of the house?” Asked Pidge.

Keith nodded. “Yeah. He usually cooks meals for a few days and puts them in the freezer. We just microwave them. It’s pretty good. Adam does cook the same day when he is in the mood, but you know.”

Lance nodded knowingly. “Yeah, my mama’s gonna make me bring you so much food.”

“Well Adam might actually like having a few days off of cooking.” Said Keith. “I think everyone would really appreciate it. Thanks guys.”

***

Lance couldn’t get over how incredibly soft Keith was now that he was opening up more. He still couldn’t believe that he was actually sleep deprived and not the badass he thought he was. It was so weird, but he still kind of liked it. Sweet Keith was nice… Even if it meant he would never get choked out by the sexy angry emo boy.

He was just happy at how excited Keith seemed to be about getting his surgery. Which was honestly a good thing. This could be life changing for him. He kept thinking about it over dinner that evening.

His sister lightly nudged his side. “You look like you’re off with the fairies. What’s up?”

“One of my friends is going in for surgery.” Said Lance. “Like next week and-”

His mama gasped in shock. “What surgery? Is it Pidge? Pidge is always doing dangerous things. Did she seriously hurt herself this time?”

“It isn’t Pidge mama.” Reassured Lance. “It isn’t Hunk either. It’s my friend Keith. He um, he has stuff wrong with his nose so he’s going in for day surgery. He’ll be out before dinner time… Just really high on pain meds…”

“Is his family okay?” Asked his mama. “Should make them something for dinner so his mama doesn’t have to worry about it?”

“Keith doesn’t live with his parents.” Said Lance. “He lives with his brother and his partner.”

“Well, either way I think it would be nice to let his brother’s girlfriend off cooking for one night. One less thing to worry about when someone’s coming off powerful medication.”

“Keith’s brother is gay.” Said Lance. “His partner is a guy called Adam.”

His mother frowned as she thought about this for a moment. “They are probably living off of takeaway… Lance, you are bringing your friend and his family food.”

“Si mama.” That went about as well as Lance expected it to.

After dinner Lance went to his room and closed the door and looked through the NSFW sketchbook he had hidden under the mattress. He still liked looking through it and thinking about Keith tying him up and bending him in painful ways as he fucked him hard. Lance would have loved that but… those fantasies would just end up being that. Fantasies. But that was okay. He was probably expecting too much anyway.

***

The day of Keith’s surgery arrived, and he honestly had no idea what the actual fuck happened. He was given some really good stuff. Adam’s health insurance was a godsend. Keith was so fucked up he had no idea how he went from getting gassed in a chair to being in the car. Then he was in bed and could taste blood. He attempted to get up but ended up on the floor, and then he was in an armchair.

He had no concept of space or time, but he could kind of hear conversation as he lazily looked over at Adam and Shiro. The two were sitting on the couch and just casually talking about stuff. Then Adam spoke up.

“Keith’s really fucked up.” He said.

“He was on some good drugs.” Said Shiro. “He’ll be more coherent soon.”

“Yeah, just hope he doesn’t piss himself by accident.” 

Keith frowned at that. “Fuck you. I’m not gonna do that shit.”

“Hey he spoke a sentence.” Said Adam. “And he wasn’t going on about how mothman stole his teeth this time.”

“... Mothman did what to me now?”

Shiro shook his head. “Never mind.”

There was a knock at the door and Adam went to answer it. A few minutes later Adam came back carrying a grocery bag. “You have some visitors.”

With much effort Keith turned his head and kind of focused in on Hunk, Lance, and Pidge. Pidge leaned in close to him and grinned. “Hey man. You okay in there?”

“... Why is your head so big?” Muttered Keith.

Shiro chuckled a little. “You’re going to have to excuse Keith. He’s still really, really high on drugs.”

“Dat good shit.” Mumbled Keith.

“So you’re all good?” Asked Hunk. “No more pain or anything? No complications?”

“The doctor said he was fine.” Said Shiro. He just has a bunch of gauze shoved up his nose. The doctor is going to take the gauze out tomorrow and see if it needs to be repacked.”

“Mothman stole my teeth.” Muttered Keith.

“Bastard.” Said Pidge in an amused voice. “How dare he steal your teeth?”

“I know! Fuck that guy! I was going to marry him!” Whined Keith.

Lance gave him a confused look. “You were going to marry mothman?”

“Yes!”

Pidge chuckled and took out her phone. “Okay, one second…” She pointed it towards Keith and grinned. “Okay, now tell us again about mothman?”

“Mothman! That fucker! He stole my teeth!” And then Keith was off on a rant about mothman. How they are going to get married, but he was a big meanie pants that was stealing his teeth. Now the wedding was totally not going to happen and he was not going to have the Jersey Devil as his best man. It was a very long winded rant that had everyone else in stitches by the end of it.

Eventually Shiro had to cut it short when he noticed Keith was starting to nod off. “Okay guys. I think it’s time to move Keith to his room. If he falls asleep I want him in his bed and not on the couch.”

“On it.” Said Adam. He grabbed Keith and dragged him to his room. “How the fuck are you so heavy? You hardly eat anything!” The trio followed Adam and watched him drop Keith onto his bed and dump a weighted blanket on him. “I swear if you somehow manage to roll out of that I will duct tape you to the mattress.”

“Suck my dick mop head.” Mumbled Keith.

Adam just rolled his eyes and looked over at his friends. “If he passes out you can leave. He’s kind of been in and out of it all day.”

“Will do.” Said Pidge as she looked around Keith’s room. “Man, neater than I expected.”

Keith hummed a little and watched them walking around. “I feel like shit.”

“You’ll feel better soon buddy.” Said Lance. He sat next to Keith and gently patted his head. It was really nice and gentle. His hand was kind of cool and felt really relaxing. “You’re finally gonna get a good night’s sleep. How does that make you feel?”

“Is good.” Mumbled Keith. “Your hand’s nice. On my face. It’s good.”

Lance kind of froze while Hunk and Pidge giggled at him. Lance quickly cleared his throat and kept patting his head. “Yeah well… Glad you like it.” Keith just nodded and his eyelids slipped shut. Those drugs were fucking amazing.


	275. Kyoshi island life (AtLA AU XIX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A time for the group to unwind a little and relax on the island. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Kyoshi island was pretty nice. Keith actually liked walking around the island. Though he did feel a little unnerved when he saw the fin of some kind of sea monster. He was pretty sure he saw that weird sea monster eating some elephant koi. He watched the fin of the monster bobbing in the water.

“Unagi sure is something huh?” Said Matt.

Keith jumped a little in shock. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Matt chuckled and happily sat on a rock next to him. “Sorry. I didn’t think I was. Anyway, you looking at Unagi?” They pointed to the fin in the water. “Unagi is a giant eel. They just kind of live here and eat elephant koi. It’s easier just to avoid them. They are pretty cool for the most part.”

“Right…” Keith watched as the giant eel ducked under the water and swam away.

Matt smiled. ‘Yeah, Unagi saved the village with the help of the Avatar years ago. Got Unagi to blast the place with a jet of water. Dad was like… 3 when that happened? He doesn’t remember much about it, but grandma said it was all pretty crazy. Anyway, don’t go swimming in the bay.”

“Yeah, I can’t swim anyway.”

“Fair enough.” Matt yawned and stretched. “Man… I still can’t believe you guys came back on a flying bison. Pidge still seems resolved to metalbend.”

Keith shrugged. “She looks like she’s improving. She’s been training everyday that I have known her.”

“I’m glad.” He said. “Pidge is really amazing.”

Keith nodded in agreement. “So… Are you also a bender?”

Matt shook his head. “Nah, in the Holt house the bending has always been passed down through the women. Not a huge deal or anything like that. I’ve always been pretty much normal. Just like my dad.”

“Cool… I used to think I was just normal…”

“Then you started to firebend?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” I like your village. It kind of reminds me a little of my village. It’s a bit nostalgic.”

Matt grinned. “That good… Want to see something cool?”

“Sure.” Keith followed Matt inland. 

They walked down a dirt path for a bit deep into the forested area and eventually they came to the side of a mountain. It looked like someone had taken a knife to it and cut through it. It was flat. Like an earthbender just cut through it. On the flat surface was a mural carved into the earth with a statue of Avatar Kyoshi right in the middle. It was painted in elaborate colours. It looked like a shrine of some kind.

“Wow, did the earthbenders here do that?” 

Matt laughed and shook his head. “Nope. This little project was just something that most of us non benders did. It started as a bit of an art project to fill in some of the down time when we weren’t able to do much farming. Glad to know the quality is so good that you think Earth benders did it.”

Keith looked at the mural and saw one that kind of looked like a village on fire with a giant eel shooting water at it. “Um… Is that the fire thing you were talking about?”

Matt nodded. “Yep. That’s Unagi. And if you look on their head, you can see a tiny depiction of Avatar Aang.”

“That’s pretty cool.” Muttered Keith. “I’m guessing the fire nation had something to do with that fire?”

“Well…”

“Yeah… It really feels like there’s no such thing as a good firebender.”

“That’s kind of bullshit.” Said Matt. “The Avatar goes through cycles. When they are born they are always born as one type of bender. It goes water, earth, fire, air. The next avatar will be a waterbender, then an earthbender, than a firebender. Firebenders aren’t inherently evil like all things. It’s all about how you use it. I mean, you use a knife for more than murdering, right?”

“I guess…”

Matt smiled at him. “Yeah. So, do you like the island?”

“It’s pretty good… Do you think Pidge will stay here when we eventually leave?”

Matt shrugged. “No idea. She might go with you. Depends on what mum and dad say. She might if she’s allowed to… But yeah. It’s whatever to me. Pidge is her own person and she is one hell of a pocket rocket. If she wants to go with you guys she probably will.”

“Probably…” Keith looked up at the statue of Avatar Kyoshi. Avatars were masters of all four elements. If the whole meditating thing didn’t work and no fire benders really wanted to teach him how to firebend… Maybe he could try and find the Avatar and ask him for help? Maybe even ask them to take away his bending? Avatar Aang did take away the old fire lord’s bending. Things would be so much easier for him if he was just a normal human.

***

“Farming is hard.” Whined Lance. He, Shiro, and Curtis had been roped into helping Sam with the farming. A fair trade off for feeding and housing them for a few days. Hunk was selling and trading things in the village with Pidge.

“It’s not that bad.” Said Shiro. “The temperature is kind of nice today.”

“Too hot…” Whined Lance again.

Curtis shrugged and bent some water out of a bucket and made it burst over their crops like rain. “Better?”

“Now I am wet and it’s still too hot.” Grumbled Lance.

“Quack!” Said Blue as she started to peck at some sprouts.

“Nope! Bad Blue!” Lance quickly picked the turtleduck up and gently chastised her. “No, we do not eat these plants. They are not yours.”

“... Quack!” Blue was not pleased.

Sam just laughed as he dusted some dirt off his hands. “Well, thanks for your help boys. You really helped me out. Never watered the crops so fast in my life. If one of you wants to stay on as a full time plant waterer… Ah, I’m sure you boys have better things to do. Enjoy the island.”

“Thanks Sam.” Said Shiro. He smiled at the other two. “So, going to go for a walk then?”

“Sure.” Said Curtis with a smile. “It’ll be nice.”

“Why wasn’t Keith helping us plant stuff?” Whined Lance.

Shiro shrugged. “He needs to have some down time. He’ll be helping out tomorrow.”

“Right… Well Blue and I are going to go and see how Hunk and Pidge are doing.”

“Have fun.” Said Curtis.

Lance nodded and took Blue over to where Hunk and Pidge were. On the way he saw Kuro eating hay and ignoring Pidge’s other pets, Rover and Bae-Bae. The deer dog and iguana parrot happily ran over the flying bison’s tail. He left Blue with them and she very happily waddled over to play with them.

He got to town where Hunk and Pidge were doing business. Pidge was mostly talking to other people from her village while Hunk sold off his wears. He noticed Lance wandering over and waved.

“Hey man. Done farming?” He asked.

“I don’t like farming…” Muttered Lance. “Too hot. I am not a fan of the heat… I was born in the snow!”

“Oh that reminds me! Said Hunk. He quickly looked through a box and took out some weird woolen teapot warmer. “A turtleduck jumper. For when we go to the Southern Water Tribe. Can’t have Blue getting all cold and stuff now can we?”

Lance hugged Hunk tightly. “And this is why you are my best friend! You are also officially turtleduck uncle!”

“What does that make me?” Asked Pidge.

Lance poked his tongue out at her. “Call me when you can metalbend.”

She glared at him and slung a ball of dirt at him. “Ass.”

Lance spat out the dirt and a small lump of something. “Ew… what the hell?” He picked a small piece of something out of the dirt he spat out. It looked small and kind of silver? Maybe black? “What is this?”

Hunk looked at it. “... Looks like a bit of iron?”

Pidge’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Iron? Did you say iron? Give it!” She took it from Hunk and looked at it with a scrutinizing eye. “... Holy shit! I think I just threw this at you! I am a metalbender!”

“I think that was just stuck in the dirt.” Muttered Lance.

“Hey, this is huge and it’s a start!” Snapped Pidge. “Let me have this!”

Hunk smiled and patted her back. “Keep at it Pidge. You can do this. Just give it some more time and you’ll be metal bending in no time.”

“It was metal covered in dirt…” Muttered Lance. That got him another mudball to the face.


	276. Farmhands (X-men AU XXVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. More bonding between Keith and his dad. Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

That evening after dinner, Tex sat out on the patio to drink. Shiro and Lance stayed inside the house while Keith went outside to join his dad. He sat quietly while waiting for the older man to finish drinking. It didn’t take long before Tex put his can down and sighed loudly, making Keith’s ears twitch.

“So… Do you want to talk more about your mother?’ He asked.

Keith shrugged. “I kind of do, but I don’t think you are ready to…”

“I’m sorry… Too many old wounds opening back up.”

“Yeah, I get that…” Keith nervously flicked at his claws. “Do you really think she did what she did because she was trying to protect us?”

“I have no doubt in my mind.” Said Tex. “She might seem cold, but she is the kindest, most loving, caring woman I have ever known… Do you want me to ask her to come here and you can talk to her yourself?”

“... Yeah. I’d really like to. But you don’t have to.”

“I’ll call her tomorrow.” Said Tex. “I just don’t know if she will say yes or not… She still feels guilty over what she did to you. She loves you more than anything in the world. I know she does.”

“Okay…”

“Do you want to look out around the ranch tomorrow?” He asked. “I’d love to show you and your friends around. You said you like cows, right?”

“Yeah, I like animals.” Said Keith. “They are a lot nicer than people.”

“Very true.” He patted Keith’s back and smiled a little at him. “I’m really glad that you decided to come here… I want to know everything about you. If you will let me.”

“I want to know more about you too.” Said Keith. 

***

The next morning Tex woke Keith up early and he took him out to the paddock to move the cows to the next paddock. “So these are my personal cows.” He said. “I think I sent you a few pictures of them?”

“Yeah, you did. You have chickens too?”

“Yep.” Tex walked over to a paddock that was separated from his other cows. “Marylu and her calf, Wanda.” He whistled and made a few other noises which made the cows wander over to them. Tex reached over and patted both cows on the head. “Marylu was a gift from a friend of mine. They had a few dairy cows and was looking to sell a few. He gave me Marylu and a few weeks later I got Wanda. Two cows for the price of one. They are very good dairy cows.”

Keith nodded and reached over the fence to gently pat Wanda, since she was closest to him. Wanda snorted at him and shook her head. “Mooooooo!”

He quickly pulled his hand back and looked at Tex. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Naw, Wanda’s just got attitude. She’s a good girl, but she’s a grouch.” He stretched and scratched the back of his head. “Well, I’m gonna feed the cows and milk Marylu. Can you grab the eggs for me? Once you’ve done that we can start on breakfast.”

Keith did as he was told and collected the eggs. The hens looked at him in confusion, but otherwise left him alone. By the time he was done Tex was laying hay out for the cows to eat. After that they went inside and Keith watched as Tex went about cooking a mountain of sausages, bacon, eggs, and toast. After he made them both some coffee.

“What’s with all the food?” He asked. “That seems a bit much…”

Tex chuckled as he took a sip of his coffee. “Some of my workers don’t bother doing more than make themselves a cup of coffee before getting here. I’d rather they have a full belly. I make enough to make sure the guys and gals are fed every morning. We have a barbeque every two weeks too. Workers can bring their families around and we have a good old fashioned cookout.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Food?” Muttered Lance as he zombie shuffled into the kitchen followed by Shiro.

“There’s coffee too.” Said Tex. He gestured to the coffee maker. Shiro made a beeline for it and made one for himself and Lance. They then sat down to start eating breakfast. Neither Shiro nor Lance mentioned the large amount of food.

When the other two started to perk up a car pulled up outside. A man jumped out of a truck with a woman who had rabbit ears. Tex grinned and happily opened the door to the couple. They talked for a moment before he invited them in.

The rabbit eared lady looked a little surprised to see the men already sitting around the table and hid slightly behind the man she came in with. The man gave the woman a reassuring look before looking at them. 

“Hey. I’m Chaz. This is my sister, Maria.” He said.

Tex chuckled a little and handed the siblings plates. “Help yourselves. This is my son, Keith. These are his friends Shiro and Lance.”

“You have a son?” Asked Maria as she piled her plate high with bacon. “Since when?”

“It’s complicated.” Tex smiled at the others. “Chaz and Maria are some of my farmhands. Been working with me for about three years now. Couldn’t find a better pair of siblings to help out.”

A few more minutes later some more people showed up and helped themselves to some food before heading out to complete their tasks for the day. Lance and Shiro encouraged Keith to spend some more time with Tex. Which he did.

Keith really enjoyed walking with Tex and learning about how working on a ranch works. Keith liked looking at the cows. They were very loud and smelled pretty bad, but if he was honest it wasn’t that bad compared to some of the other stuff his sensitive nose would usually pick up. 

The staff that they came into contact with were pretty nice too. They all thought that Keith was a new hire to the ranch and were a little shocked to learn that he was actually Tex’s kid. But everyone was pretty cool about him and got him to do some simple things around the farm, like moving hay around.

Keith noticed that Lance and Shiro were helping out around the ranch too. Though some people did seem to recognise Shiro and seemed to be more interested in talking to them than actually working. When Tex noticed this he would let out the most infuriating, high pitched whistle Keith had ever heard in his life, and then he’d make them get back to work. The sound left Keith’s ears ringing. But for once in his life, Keith actually felt happy. Like, really happy.

They walked over to a water trough by the barn. Tex yanked on the old pump handle a few times and frowned when it didn’t go down. “Damn pump… Rusted up worse than I thought it would.”

Keith nodded and looked around the ranch. The cows were a bit far away being cows. Tex had a few horses in the barn. Keith got an idea. “I can get that if you like?”

“You got some super strength on you?” He asked.

Keith shook his head. “No, I might look like this but… My actual power is that I can temporarily take on some of the physical attributes of animal blood that I consume. So I was thinking that maybe if I took a little bit from the horse I might be able to be strong enough to help?”

“... How much blood do you need?”

“Just a few drops.”

Tex looked unsure. “Well, as long as it doesn’t hurt the horses…”

Keith smiled a little and went to get a little blood from one of the horses.

***

While Keith was spending quality time with Tex, Lance was happy to help out with whatever he could. His grandparents had a farm. Granted it wasn’t like this, but it was kind of close. He happily moved some things around to help the other ranchers. It was an interesting mix of mutants and non mutants.

A lot of the mutants were kind of fawning over Shiro. Not that surprising since Shiro was pretty famous. Some people were getting Shiro to show his wing span. Everyone seemed pretty impressed. Though Tex did whistle at them a few times to get back to work.

It made Lance chuckle a little as he went with Chaz and Maria to mend some of the decaying fence posts. The siblings reminded him of himself and his own siblings. Maria really came out of her shell once she had gotten used to Lance and the others. Suddenly Maria turned around and smiled at him.

“So, quick question for you Lance, are you a mutant?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m a mutant.” Said Lance. “I bend physics around projectiles. So when you give me a target, I always hit it.”

“That’s cool.” Said Maria. She grinned at her brother and happily nudged his arm. “Looks like you’re still the only normy here.”

Chaz rolled his eyes and nudged her back. “Mutant or not it’s not like I’m useless floppy years.”

Maria rolled her eyes and flipped her rabbit ears over her shoulder. “Ha, ha. Very funny. Jerk. Fix that fence post.”

“Should I… Hop to it?”

“... You say that to the person in possession of the hammer?”

Chaz pouted and looked over at Lance. “Sisters are mean.”

Lance laughed. “Yeah. They kind of are.”

Chaz sighed dramatically and went about clipping away the rusted wire. He was muttering stuff about Maria, but the bunny mutant didn’t care. She just put on her gloves and cracked her knuckles.

“So… That Keith really is Tex’s son? They do have a bit of a resemblance…” She said.

Lance nodded. “Yeah. Keith kind of grew up in the system. His whole birth thing was kind of complicated.”

“Fair enough.” She said. “So you know that Shiro guy pretty well? Guy is all over the news and junk.”

“Yeah. Shiro is a really awesome guy. He’s been helping me and Keith with our powers. It’s pretty cool.” Said Lance. “Shiro’s always been there to help us when we need it… Adam is pretty awesome too. He’s Shiro’s boyfriend. He’s got ice powers.”

“Man, I wish I had ice power…” Muttered Chaz. “Damn weather here sucks. Got some more wire?”

Maria nodded and handed it to her. “Here.”

As they worked Lance looked over to the barn. He could see Keith attempting to push down on a water pump. He pushed down on it a few times before it eventually gave way and he managed to pump some water. Tex looked thrilled that Keith managed to do it and ruffled Keith’s hair. It seemed like Keith liked the positive attention from the older man because he didn’t slap his hand away or try to push it away. He was happy that Keith was connecting with his father. They both deserved it.


	277. Scent trail (cat-tron AU VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is learning how to groom properly, and some of the boys go on an adventure! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Keith was very determined to become better at grooming. So, he practically sat on Shiro and groomed the heck out of him before the cat gently swatted him away and told him to groom someone else. Which was how Keith ended up tackling and forcibly grooming the other members in the Marmora gang. He found them in the park

Thankfully they didn’t seem to care that much that the smaller kitten was jumping on them and grooming them. If they didn’t like it they would have grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and tossed him away. That only happened once, and that was because he jumped from a fence and onto Antok. Arguably, Keith deserved that one.

Keith was very, very tired and needed a drink by the end of it. He ended up laying under a tree with his tongue sticking out. He was very tongue tired. Grooming practice was hard. His tongue was going to fall off before he was finished.”

Kolivan sat next to Keith and licked his head. “Are you okay?”

“My ong feelf nom…” Muttered Keith with his tongue sticking out.

“I know your tongue feels numb. You groomed everyone.”

“Eeeeee…”

Kolivan shook his head. “Just relax for a bit. You look really tired… Do you want someone to take you home?”

Keith nodded and let Kolivan pick him up by the scruff of his neck, happily marching back to Keith’s home. It took a few goes where kolivan dropped Keith before he managed to climb over the stone fence with the kitten in his jaws before he dropped them by a bamboo shoot.

“Thanks…” Muttered Keith.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Huh? Kolivan?” Shiro looked as though he had been startled awake and was trying to figure out what was going on. He always was a little groggy when he woke up.

Kolivan nodded and sat down, happily grooming his paws. “Hello Shiro. I was just dropping Keith off home. I apologize for walking through your territory. I just felt it was safer to bring Keith here myself rather than letting him walk home by himself.”

“Thanks. What happened to him?” Asked Shiro.

“Groomed too much.” Said Kolivan. “Sore and tired mouth, and tongue.”

Shiro frowned and sniffed Keith a few times. “You okay?”

“My mouth hurts…”

“You’ll be fine.” Shiro licked Keith’s forehead and looked over at Kolivan. “Come and have some water. The lady put a fresh bowl of water out for us… Coil you also bring Keith over?”

“Of course.” Kolivan picked Keith up by the scruff of his neck and happily walked over to where the water bowl was and dumped him.

Keith huffed and stretched. “I’m not something you can just pick up and drag around…”

“You kind of are.” Said Shiro. “Anyway, here’s the water bowl. Have as much water as you want.”

“Thank you Shiro.” Kolivan happily drank as much water as he liked. 

As he did the old lady came out. She was a little surprised to see Kolivan, but smiled warmly at him. “Aw, aren’t you a scruffy one.” She said to him. The lady crouched down and held her hand out to Kolivan to sniff, which he did.

“Hello.” He said to her. “I am Kolivan. Leader of the Marmora street cats. I brought Keith back home after he became tired.”

She smiled happily down at him, unable to understand cat talk. “Will you let me pat you Mr kitty?” She asked as she reached for his head.

“... Okay.” Muttered Kolivan and he reluctantly let the older woman pat his head a few times. He made a pleased sound and waited for her to finish.

“Aw, it’s so nice that you made such a nice friend. Come back any time you man.” She said before walking back into the house.

Kolivan looked over at the housecats. “Your human seems pleasant enough. I shall take my leave now. Goodbye Keith. It was nice of you to visit us. It was also nice to see you too Shiro.” Kolivan then left the same way he came, over the fence.

When Kolivan was gone, Keith went to have a drink himself. It felt so good to have fresh water in his mouth. Grooming so many cats was hard work. Before Shiro could ask if he was okay, Keith flopped next to the water bowl and promptly fell asleep. It was a very, very busy day.

***

Lance was hanging around Allura’s home again. Mostly listening to Coran talk about his and Allura’s recent trip to the groomers. They both had very shiny and fluffy coats. They looked nice, but they did smell a little weird. Like, kind of floral, but artificial. It wasn’t that good.

“And then they combed my fur and Allura was already done by the time I was getting taken back to the waiting box.” He said.

Lance nodded and stretched. “Hmm, that sounds nice. The humans at the far sometimes blast us with this white powder that makes the little biting things fall off. Which was nice, though the powder did make him look like he had gotten into some chalk or rolled in flour. It also smelled funny and didn’t taste good when he tried to groom himself.

In the middle of Coran’s talk, Hunk wandered over looking pretty confused. He sat down by Lance and sniffed him a few times. He seemed to grow more confused.

“Is something wrong?” Asked Lance and he rolled over. “Do I smell funny?”

“Nah man. Just… I smelled something weird when I was walking over here and I thought my nose might be a little broken.” He admitted.

“What did you smell?” Asked Coran.

Hunk frowned and scratched behind his ear. “How to explain… Well, it kind of smelled like Keith, but girl Keith? I lost the trail after a while but… It really confused me.”

Lance’s ears perked up. “Oh, maybe you just smelled Keith’s mum? You know how it can be sometimes. Sometimes we smell a little more like one parent or another for whatever reason… Usually it’s just newborns though.”

“I know. That’s why I was confused.” Said Hunk.

Coran frowned a little. “Well, we could always go and do a little snooping? I am quite a good tracker, especially back in the day. Tracked a wild rabbit across three villages just for fun in my youth.”

“Oh, sure? If you want to?” Said Hunk.

Coran flexed his paws and quickly stuck his head through the catflap and called out to Allura. “Princess! I’m going on a walk with Hunk and Pidge! I’ll be back by dinner time!” He then happily trotted back over to them. “Okay. Lead the way Hunk.”

The maine coon nodded and led the other cats towards where he smelled the strange smell of the supposed female Keith. It was an overgrown path that bordered around the Altean manor that most animals used. Cats, dogs, rabbits, and foxes regularly used it. Hunk mostly used it to get from his house to the manor without much trouble.

Eventually they got to a log and Hunk climbed on top of it. “Here.” He said. “Over here is the spot.”

Coran walked over to the spot and gave it a few good sniffs before he nodded. “Yep… That does kind of faintly smell like Keith, but definitely a queen. Not a Tom cat. It goes… That way!” Coran happily jumped off the log and wandered off the trail. “You boys coming?”

“Should we be going off the track?” Asked Hunk. “There are foxes out there, and some really aggressive birds…”

Lance chuckled and happily followed after Coran. “Relax man. These are the fastest paws in the village. I can slap one of those buzzing black dots out of the air without even trying. I can slap a bird without even trying, and if something chases us, we can just climb a tree.”

“I thought you would say that…” Muttered Hunk as he followed after them. “I hate climbing trees…”

The younger cats followed Coran off the track for a few feet before he frowned and sat down near a rabbits warren. “... Well, I lost track of them…”

“Aw, that sucks.” Whined Lance. “I wanted to see if we could find this female Keith. It could have been his mum, or maybe a sister? Can you imagine if Keith had a sister? Would she be as grumpy as Keith?”

Hunk shrugged. “Maybe?”

Coran continued to sniff around the area to see if he could pick up the scent again. It wasn’t working out too well for him. He sniffed around the entrance to the rabbit’s warren when he suddenly yelped and jumped back, flying into the other cats.

Out of the warren slinked a rather dusty looking lykoi cat. She shook off some of the dust and glared at them. “Excuse me, but why are you here trying to wake me up? I found this abandoned warren first. Find your own nap spot.”

“Sorry!” Said Coran. “We were just on a little scent hunt. My name is Coran. I am Princess Allura’s personal assistant. This is Lance, and Hunk.”

Lance nodded. “Hi.”

“H-Hello.” Said Hunk as he hid behind Coran and Lance.

The lykoi nodded as she eyed them. “It is nice to meet you. I am Krolia. I am a lykoi that’s part of the Marmora street cats.”

“Ah, I have heard about you.” Said Coran. “You’re a group of lykoi that decide to live in the neutral grounds, right?”

“That is correct.” Krolia stretched and sat down. “As far as I remember everything on this side of the trail is neutral ground. Even if it is technically on your side.”

“Right you are.” Said Coran. He took a few steps towards her and very carefully sniffed her. Krolia just glared at him. “Sorry, but you smell a lot like one of our friends. A little burmese cross something.”

Krolia narrowed her eyes. “Are they male and kind of small?”

Hunk nodded. “That sounds like Keith to me.”

“I see…” Krolia frowned and closed her eyes, thinking things over. “I would like to meet this Keith. Can you grant me passage to Allura’s home so that we can meet on grounds that he would feel more comfortable with?”

“Sure.” Said Coran. “Will you still be here so we can relay the news?”

She shrugged. “If you can’t find me here just find one of the other members of the marmora gang. Let them know and word will get back to me.”

“Of course.” Said Coran.

“Does this mean you are Keith’s mum?” Asked Hunk.

Krolia shrugged. “Maybe. We will see.” She stretched and walked back into the warren. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have some very serious napping to do.”


	278. Better sleep (Highschool AU XVII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Keith is a functional teenager again! Kudos and comment when you can. Enjoy :D

Once the drugs had worn off and Keith was functioning like a normal human being again, he was shocked that he was actually able to sleep, and sleep well. He got several hours of sleep and didn’t feel like dying when he woke up. He only put one scoop of instant coffee in his mug instead of four.

Adam and Shiro instantly noticed this and were very happy and proud that Keith was able to get help for his condition. Sleep was amazing. He was so much more alert now and was able to process things faster. Which was amazing. He also wasn’t falling asleep during the day for no reason.

So when school came around on Monday, Keith was bright and awake as he happily went to school and Keith discovered something. School sucked. Like, seriously. It was so, so boring. He couldn’t believe people actually willingly went to school. He almost missed being so out of it that he almost drooled on his desk. But at least he wasn’t falling asleep in the middle of class anymore.

Eventually lunch rolled around and Keith sat at his usual table with his friends. Everyone was making sure that he was okay and actually able to function like a normal human. Once it was established that Keith could rub two brain cells together, Pidge decided to show Keith his drugged out shame.

In other words, Pidge was showing Keith the mothman rant. Which made Keith want to throw himself out the nearest window. Pidge did say she wasn’t going to show anyone the footage, yet. Which only worried him more.

“It was pretty funny.” Admitted Hunk. “Kind of like when Pidge had her wisdom teeth removed. She cried a lot while hugging her dog Bae-bae.”

Pidge shrugged. “I was in a highly emotional state.”

Keith just shook his head and looked down at his food. Today’s lunch was some plastic looking mac and cheese, some stale looking herb bread stuff, and a fruit cup. He really needed to start bringing in his own food. This stuff looked like crap. He couldn’t believe that he willingly ate this stuff. It looked on par with prison food.

“You okay there?” Asked Lance.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t look very happy with your food.”

Keith gestured to the food splattered all over his tray. “Does this actually look that appetizing? To you?” 

“Not at all… Here.” Lance handed Keith half of his sandwich. “It’s pulled pork.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“Take it. It’s better than that.”

“... Thanks.” Keith happily ate the sandwich. It was so much better than the cafeteria food. He should ask Adam about learning how to cook so he could make something like this. Well, maybe not this. Adam was better at quickly cooking things in a frypan. He didn’t really do much slow cooking unless it was winter and he’d drop some meat and vegetables in a crock pot and let that do it’s thing all day.

“So what do you guys want to do after school?” Asked Pidge. “Head to someone’s house? Mall? Hunk’s parents bakery?”

“We can go to my place.” Said Keith. “Like, if any of you’re interested…”

“Don’t you have work?” Asked Hunk.

Keith shrugged. “Kolivan gave me a week off for the surgery and to recover. He said because I technically work with food, even if it’s wrapped, he doesn’t want to risk me suddenly getting a nose bleed and getting all over the product.”

Hunk pulled a grossed out face. “Yeah, probably a good idea. Will Shiro and Adam be okay with us coming over?”

“Of course.” Said Keith. “And if Shiro isn’t we can just go to my room.”

“How is he going these days anyway?” Aske Lance. “He seemed pretty cool when we last saw him.”

“He has his good days and bad days.” Said Keith. “Today was one of his better days.”

“Well that’s good.” Said Lance.

Keith smiled at him which seemed to make Lance blush a little. Which actually surprised Keith. Was Lance that easily embarrassed? Had he made Lance blush before but he hadn’t noticed? He had no idea. It was interesting. Kind of amusing when he thought about it. He’d pay Lance closer attention in the future.

“I’ll just text Shiro and let him know.” Said Keith. “If he’s having a bad day and uncomfortable with anyone coming over then he’ll let me know.”

***

Thankfully Shiro was having a good day and the group was able to head over to Keith’s house. They stopped by Hunk’s family bakery on the way home. They picked up some discounted snacks and a cake to take home.

When they got back both Adam and Shiro were there. Adam was in the kitchen putting some things away with Shiro’s help. Adam seemed surprised that everyone was there and looked over at Shiro.

“Did you know they were coming over?” He asked.

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. Keith asked if I was okay with people coming over.”

Adam pouted a little and looked over at Keith. “Next time ask me too.”

“Sorry…” Muttered Keith. He knew he probably should have asked Adam, but if he was honest he was more concerned with what Shiro might say about it.

“It’s fine. Help yourselves to drinks and some snacks.” Said Adam.

“Thanks Adam.” Said Keith. He and his friends made themselves comfortable in the lounge room while Adam continued to put things away with Shiro.

He looked over at Shiro just in time to see him knock over a can of tomatoes with his prosthetic. Adam reached out and grabbed it just before it hit the ground. He put it back down on the countertop and caught Shiro looking frustrated at his arm.

“I… I’m sorry.” He muttered.

“It’s fine.” Reassured Adam.

“No it’s not.” Muttered Shiro. “I just tried to grab it without thinking but I don’t… I still don’t have my fucking hand.”

Adam frowned and put his hand on Shiro’s shoulder. He knew it was serious when his lover started swearing. “Hey… Talk to me. What’s on your mind Takashi? What’s got you so wound up?”

“... Nothing.” Said Shiro. “Nothing important.”

“If it’s bothering you then it is important.”

Shiro was quiet for a moment before he was able to formulate a sentence. “Just little things. I keep forgetting I don’t have a hand. I keep knocking over things or scratching things. Just now I was trying to grab a can and I knocked it over. This was meant to help me grab things. It doesn’t grab everything. What the fuck? It’s so fucking stupid.”

Adam nodded along as he talked. He knew that Shiro struggled with his arm some days and was clearly not in the mood to deal with it today. He gently rubbed circled into his back and let him vent some more.

“I was in the military. I saw combat. I was one of the best in my unit but then… Now I’m a fucking disabled… Fuck.”

“It’s okay to be frustrated.” Said Adam calmly. “And you’re not stupid for losing your arm. Being disabled is not a fault. Would you say that about someone that was born missing a limb?”

“No…”

“What about someone that was in an accident?” Asked Adam. “If someone got in a car accident or a workplace accident would you consider them worthless than others?”

“No…”

“Then what makes you worthless for not being fully abled?”

Shiro was quiet and had a defeated look on his face. He clearly knew that Adam was right, but he was still trying to justify himself for hating himself. “I just am, okay? Not only have I lost my arm you and Keith have to take care of me… Take me to doctor’s appointments, make sure that I’m okay all the time…”

“Do you think we don’t want to do that for you?” Asked Adam. He turned Shiro’s face so he was looking right at him. “Shiro, Keith and I both love you so much. When we found out what happened we both promised that we would do everything we could to take care of you. Neither of us think any less of you for getting hurt. We are proud you were able to come back to us.”

He sighed and looked away from his lover, unable to meet his eyes. “Adam…” Suddenly there was a shout from the lounge room, followed by loud laughter, and what sounded like Keith trying to shush his friends. It made Shiro flinch and tense up. Shiro still wasn’t very good with loud noises of any sort. But he was slowly getting better. 

“Hey, you know things get bad for you when you get stressed out.” Said Adam. “Why did you let Keith bring teenagers over if you know loud noises trigger you?”

“You’re joking, right?” Asked Shiro. “When was the last time Keith actually wanted to bring friends over? I don’t even remember when he had friends his own age. Remember when we used to ask if he wanted to invite anyone over for his birthday and he said he didn’t want anyone to come over? We thought he might have been bullied, but he wasn’t. He was just happy being alone… Now that he has friends, how can I tell them that they can’t come over just because I’m feeling a little down today...”

Adam sighed and hugged him tightly. “Shiro, you are an amazing man and neither Keith nor I deserve you. But my god you are the biggest dumbass on the planet.” He poked Shiro square in the chest and glared at him. “Look, Keith asked if he could bring his friends over because he cares about you and wants you to be comfortable in your own home. He wouldn’t hate you if you said you weren’t in a good headspace to have people over. He probably would have gone over to someone else’s place.”

Shiro pouted. “I was trying to make Keith happy.”

“And we are trying to make you happy…” Adam sighed and grabbed his wallet. “Fuck it, we’re going out again. We’re going to that fancy waffle ice cream place.”

“That place that makes that disgusting dessert taco made out of cotton candy?”

“The very same.” Said Adam. “And you know you are going to order said disgusting dessert taco and love it.”

“Well yeah, but you don’t have to say it…”

Adam shook his head and linked his arm with Shiro’s. “Whatever. Come on grumpy. I’m going to put you into a dibetic coma.” The two of them walked past the group of teenagers. “Shiro and I are going out.” Said Adam. “Remember the house rules; no drinking, no smoking, no orgies, and no animal sacrifices of any kind.”

“Yes Adam.” Said Keith in a sarcastic voice.

***

Once the adults left the house Pidge couldn’t help but grin at Keith. “So… do you normally, drink, smoke, fuck, and sacrifice animals when they are out?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Adam says that stuff to make sure I’m paying attention. That’s not the most ridiculous stuff he has said.”

“What other stuff are you not allowed to do when theta are out?” Asked Hunk.

Keith frowned a little as he started counting things on his fingers. “I’m not allowed to; flood the house, set the house on fire, raise the dead, lick the wall, raise the South, start a riot, clone myself, bring home stray animals, get married to the toaster, and get abducted by aliens. Those are just the ones I remember.”

“What do you mean you can’t like the wall?” Asked Lance in fake shock. “My cousins do that all the time! Granted the youngest ones are like five and they also lick the carpet…”

“Yeah, you have a family thing this weekend don’t you?” Asked Hunk.

Lance groaned in annoyance and threw his head back “Don’t remind me… Guess who has to rangle ten kids under ten? Meeeeeeee…” 

Keith frowned. He had thought Lance liked his family. He was always mentioning them and things about his little cousins. This was kind of weird. “Don’t you like your family?” He asked.

“I do.” Said Lance. “But it can be a bit overwhelming…”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Dude, you’ve been hinting that your family has been stressing you out for the last two years.”

Lance shrugged and looked blankly up at the ceiling. “I don’t know man… I think my mama is struggling a little with me and Rachel graduating this year. I think she misses being a mama… It’s whatever, do what makes you happy but I feel kind of bad that I’m now suddenly an adult in her eyes… I’m still technically a teenager…”

Pidge patted Lance’s head. “That’s rough buddy. Maybe you can get out of it by saying you have a study thing with one of us? I can make up some excuse that I need you for an experiment?”

“No can do.” Said Lance. “It’s my aunt’s birthday. My mama and papa would have my head on a silver platter if I tried to sneak out… I’ll just do my best and figure this stuff out.”

Hunk and Pidge gave Lance sympathetic looks. Keith didn’t really understand this. He never had a large family. He didn’t even really have aunts, uncles, or cousins. He couldn’t sympathise with Lance and his situation, but he could tell that Lance really didn’t want to do whatever it was he needed to do. Maybe he could think of something to help? Maybe he could ask Adam? If there was someone who was sneaky and able to come up with plans it was him. And now that Keith was a functioning human, he could probably carry out said plan without falling asleep halfway through it.


End file.
